Rudy Is Single | Ep 270 | Bad Friends
This podcast is powered by Hule Hel. New. customers can use code bad friends for. 15% off plus a free gift. Yay. Ciao. I'm. in Italy, but this week I will be in. Edmonton and Winnipeg, Canada. Come see. me Edmonton and Winnipeg. Go. toino.com to Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello, mate. You all right, mate? I'm all. right, mate. We're going to be coming to. London and Dublin July 18th and 19th. These are the only two shows we're doing. in 2025 together. Yeah. International.
boys, we're done. If you're living in. Scotland, go to London. If you're living. in somewhere else, go to, you know, right? It's easy. If you're living in. Scotland, go to England. And if you're. living in um Norway, please fly to. Dublin. Yeah. Yeah. Or Poland. And. Poland. If you're living in Poland, you. probably got to come to our Polish show. We're doing one Polish sausage show. We're not July 18th and 19th, London and. Dublin. Go to badfriend.com. Badfriendpod.com. You two are bad. friends. Who are these two idiots? A. white dude and an Asian dude. You two.
are disgusting. You two are something. We're bad. friends. Ladies and gentlemen, she. returns. She has risen. It's Rudy. Jewels. She's been away from the show for too. long. She's been doing a lot of Tiger. Belly, a lot of Belly Tiger, a lot of. trash Tuesday. I have an intro that I. prepared. Oh, sorry about that. Can I. Can I Yeah, please. It's going to take a. couple minutes. Yeah, do.
it. Hello, my weary travelers. My boat. crashed along a seashore and I ran into. a fair, the Renaissance fair. And I saw. many things. chalicees being made, chain. mails, and I also. saw one school. shooter. I saw um a man walking a.
pickle. Wow. Yes. And um I have found my. people. And I have some gifts for you. all if if I may. If I may. Did you. really? Yes. Honestly. Will you play the uh bird again? Yeah. Yeah, that's beautiful. for jewels. I'm not kidding. I love that. thing. Yeah, jewels. I bought you a It's. a wand. It's a wand. Yeah, that's what. they call it. Come, come grab it.
Play the bird. Play the bird. Play the. bird, bud. Okay. Sorry. There's not enough water. I got to put. some more water in. Very good. Okay. Very good. Yeah. Put some more water. Perfect. Whoa. Needs water. Oh, king. What is that? King, I got you. Voldemort's wand. God. bless. Oh,
blow the blow the bird. Okay. Thank you. Here. Thank you. And then. and then dude for my for my friend. Carlo. Oh, come please. blow the burn. [Music]. [Laughter]. Here's a one for you, my friend. Wow. Here you go. All right. Don't jam much.
Do not do not jam it in your ass. Yeah. Happy birthday, Carlos. Stop it. And. then McCullen, please come. [Laughter]. I gave you an a black bird charmer. Here. you go, my friend. Cool. Andreas. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. What do you say, you. idiot? Yeah. Yeah. You bow or something. Andreas. Come here. I have a gift for. you, too. Thank you. I have a gift for. you, too, Andreas. This is a big one.
Right. This is a ceramic penis. Bibbidity bobby boot. Yeah. Yeah. Booty. boop. And that's that's that is it. I. had a joyous day. Yeah. Thank you so. much. And then you just got drunk all. day, huh? Yeah. Yeah. Smash. Yeah. How'd you get here? Uber. Oh, good. Uber. Uber. My friend. Yeah. Can I tell you something? This.
means more than I think you know to me. me. Why does it? Well, because you don't. buy me stuff. Yeah. This is special. That was one of the most expensive ones. there. How much? $50. Really? Yeah. Yeah. Okay. So, we. saw on Instagram Bobby went to the. Renaissance Fair. First time ever. Yes. First time. Last time. First time. First. time. I'm going next Sunday. You are? Yeah. And Jules is going to come. Are. you really going? Are you excited? I. want to go. Are there elves? Oh my god. There's elves. There's orcs. There's.
everything that you can desire. Well, explain to us how looks really cool. What? Shut up, fancy. Shut up. Honestly, shut up. That was me. Phony at the fair. today. You're at the fair with your. friend Britney. Yes. And so I'm proud. that you draw you dressed up. Well, you. can rent. See, that's that's where I. made the mistake. You rented I came like. this. Yeah. And then I went to the store. and I rented that vest. Good looking. vest. And I was just jamming out here in. front of this. Yeah. It. was I'm telling you, dude, that was a.
song. You loved it. I saw jousting. I. saw a couple of plays. Wow. Yeah. Yeah. It was a very enjoyable thing. So, you'll go back. I'm going to go back. next Sunday. Yeah. With Jules and. Dumbfounded and Jean and also Andrea. Jin. Look at that. You look good. And. I'm going to I'm going to we're going to. dress as and I'm going to get your dress. as peasants. Uh but but Asian peasants. So, my fantasy is this. Wait, that's not. Asian peasants. Whatever you did before. No, that wasn't Asian peasants. Who's. that? Who's that woman? That's Britney. the girl I was with. Carlos, stop.
creeping. Stop creeping. Carlos, stop. creeping, dude. Don't don't don't. Okay. No. I want to the bird. Okay. Okay. Okay. You want to communicate? Yeah. Dude, that's a connection we'll always. experience for the rest of our lives. So, what I want to say to you is is that. we're dressed as, you know, I mean, Japanese rice farmers from the 17th. century and our our little canoe got.
lost and we ended up in the shores of. this English countryside. Yeah. And we. end up at Renaissance fair and we'll. have samurai swords and I'm going to. wear the little rice patty hats and. we're going to get you like a dress. You. know what I mean? Okay. Okay. Or unless. you want to Well, unless you want to. dress. How would you like to dress? Like. the elves. Okay. kind of dress like the. Philippines. The Philippines don't have. d Well, elves, I mean. Yeah, we do. Yeah. Yeah. Those are called um.
crickets. Those are Filipino crickets, dude. They're not elves. What does it. say in your sweater? Oh, is that a. Filipino cricket or elf? Piglet. Piglet. That's a piglet. What's been going on. with you, Jules? Do you Do you always. get drunk on Easter? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. For Jesus. Yeah. Nice try, Jews. You. know what I mean? Yeah, dude. This is the Andrew I like. We got you, dude. So, did you um go egg. hunting? Oh, yeah. Yeah, you did. Something little something like that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. What was in those.
little eggs, huh? A little bit of money. Really? Chocolate. Yeah. You and your. buddies, huh? Charlie Day, Jason. Baitman. Why did you bring you bring. these names that aren't relevant at all? Hollywood. And so happy. So, who did I. go egg hunting with? I have no idea. You're fancy friends. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I Allison Janney and Yeah, of course. Bradley Whitford. The whole cast of. West. Bradley. Bradley Cooper. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Bradley. No. Bradley. Whitford. The whole the whole And John.
Ham. John Ham and I had lunch today. Really? Are you being real? No. [ __ ] Do you know John? No. Oh, I. met him once. You do? Yeah. One time I. met him. Time out. Yeah. Let's be honest. Yeah. Yeah. Are you still mad at Carlos or No, cuz I feel like there's a lot of tension. from last week. Yeah, but you know, there I'm a forgiving man and I bought. You really are. I It was really hard to. buy him a wand. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I I. pondered over it for like an hour. looking at it. Be honest. Yeah. Two.
hours. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And I. went, you know what? He deserves a wand. He does. Yes, Bob. So, you know, when uh. Voldemort or the Jews attack Uhhuh. Yeah. Um, good boy. Maybe I regret. getting that for McCone, but um, yeah, he he's going hog wild with it, but um, it is a beautiful thing. If you. ever Would you ever go? No, you should.
go with a situation. Shut up. Yeah. Yeah. Why wouldn't you go though? It's. so I laugh the whole time. Okay. How. about this? Yeah. Will you come to an. NBA game? Yeah. No, you won't. I will. You won't? I if you get me tickets, would you come to an M Dodger game? Will. you sit in a Dodger game? I'll go with. I'll go with you. No, you won't. Yes, if. you You know you won't. I've offered you. before. Outside a contract going I will. go if you go to a run. Sounds fair. Carlos, can I get some help? For real. I've offered you to come to You don't.
want to come. You've never offered me. Have you ever heard? Have you ever heard. him offer me? Yes. Thank you, Andreas. Yes. Yeah, he has for the Lakers, actually. Yes, I have. I've come to You. won't go to Lakers. Oh, I love it. If. I'm sitting next to [ __ ] Jack. Nicholson, I'll do it. He's dead. No, but seriously, you won't come to an. NBA game. I will go. That's what it is. That's an NBA. Look at the women. That's. your NBA. Yeah, but I I laugh so hard. Like, you know, there was a play I can't get into this. cuz it's getting in trouble. No. No.
Come on, please. Well, years ago, I was. on a game show and um it was with Rob. Growski in that game show called Game. On. Oh, yeah. Right. And there was like. it was terrible. Anyway, bad TV. So, I did a joke and the. happy Easter. The producers came up to. me and they go, "We have to cut that. out." I go, "Why? What did you say?" He. goes, "It was racist." What did you say? I said, "There was a thing about. Renaissance fairs and what's one thing.
about the Renaissance fair?" And I go, "There's no black people." And then they. came up to me and got cut. You can't say. that. Literal fact. When I went there, I. saw three. Wait a minute. Yeah. But those but these. three though, special kind. You know what I mean? Oh yeah. Oh, wait. Wait. Look who we see on the fourth. picture in. Look who we see. My boy. My. dog. Yeah, it's my dog, dude. James, did. you finish it? Yes. Yes. Stop. Yeah.
Yeah. And I It's a fire bothering you, dude. I love this. You can't do that. I. just did it. I know, but you can't do. it. It was great. Yes. Yes. Yes. I'll do. it. Is the fire bothering you, mom? Dad, this guy is so [ __ ] James, dude. He's. the biggest dick. Cool. What? He's the. coolest guy. He's the coolest guy. I'm. the coolest guy. I'm so sorry. James, I. just imagined James is the man. But is. he better than Connor? Connor and James.
are headtohead. Yeah. For me, they're. headtohead. Yeah. Now, here's here's. Connor. Ready? Yeah. She's coming. Oh, I love Dude, I love that he pauses. work. Did you see the last episode? Shh. Did you? Yeah. Were you mad at me? No, cuz it was still hot. What a be You know. what? Hot makeup. Now we can talk about. it, you know. No, you can. Well, for the. fans, it's too late now. You had to. watch. But I um Georgie, I when I kiss somebody, I want to be.
like them. Yeah. where it's like they. want you to be the magic. Yeah. You know. what I mean? The magic, the spark, you. know, and that's what I'm waiting for. Well, Abby has been making out. Remember, do you remember we ran into. Abby at the airport? Remember, dude, that was so funny. We were going to. Boston. Where were we going? Boston? We. were going somewhere and Abby and his. mom. Do you guys remember this? Who was. with us? No. Abby and her mom was there. Yeah. And then um I don't know. I think. I started the conversation with them. first. There she is. There's Abby. And. she was so sweet. The what? Wood,
would I would Abby Carlos Carlos Carlos. got it? By the way, when he says something. perverse, you always. go. It's really low. Yeah. Uh, she's the. [ __ ] Carlos, Carlos, what would you do. first, Carlos? Put on a Disney Plus. That's good. That's good. Smart, right?
You know what I do? Get her some dolphin. stickers. Love. Put some around the. room. Love. And she'll go, "Yay!" or. whatever. You know what I mean? And then. what else? That's good. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Jules. Jules. Do you. watch that show? No. You don't see Love. on the Spectrum? You don't watch that? No. What are you watching right now? White Lotus. No, she didn't watch that. The Last of Us. Is there Love on the. Spectrum in the Philippines? Imagine. them. Well, I see. Yeah, they're. drowning in you want to climb the tree.
You want to climb this tree? Yeah, I'm. kidding. So, I don't like Last of Us. because of the mushroom zombies. But. that's the most realistic thing. Cuz. mushroom zombies cortiseps. They do that. to their um That is the most real. Well, I do have an itchy foot. Is that from. that? You are my fungi. You're You're my. mushroom zombie. Yeah, I got rid of my. fungi through the machines. By the way, you're no double piercing is that's. right. It's looking good. Good for you,
dude. Are you okay? Yeah. I just think. you're you're not part of us anymore. You left us. You're Give her what you. miss about her. Well, here's the deal. I. love Jules. We started the show with. Jules and then every time I see her, I'm. like, "Oh, she's not ours anymore." What. do you mean? You know what I mean? Don't. play dumb with me, pal. Did she I. literally You disappeared. You became a. star on other shows. Am I wrong? Am I. wrong? I live with her. I don't Yeah, I'm not. You're not wrong. You don't. even take care of his house. Well, check. She abandons the dog sometimes. No. Too famous. No, I don't. Today, you.
walked him at noon at 6:00 and now. you're coming home. That's fine. Where. were you? Where were you? Out with. friends. No, don't Where were you, dude? I hang out with friends. You were no. friends. What? You should have no. friends, dude. Thank you. I went to the beach. You went to 15 milk tea. shops. That's what you did. Yeah. You do. something weird like that. And the dogs. need to get walked and they cry at.
night. But they're not being walked cuz. of you. Yeah. Cuz you're you're. negligent. sometimes. Wow. My god. What a mess, huh? Did you ask for the jar head at the. [ __ ] the hair plant place? I did. Yeah. Yeah. It's a weird And I get the. jar head from, you know, wait full metal. jacket. I want the haircut from full. metal jacket. Fans. Yeah, fans. What is. it? It doesn't look good. You have to. wait. You have to wait. Okay, that's. you. That's you, dude. Yeah. Yeah. What.
are you doing? I don't know what I'm. told. That's you, dude. My god. And And are. you mad that your people aren't in the. new Star Wars? Yeah. What the crazy? What do you mean? They just just put. porks in there. Yeah. Porgi porky py and. with the mil. They could be militant. porks, right? With guns. Chewbacca can't eat us, right? That's. you, dude. You look good, fam. Yeah, you.
look really good. Let's go back to the. victim. Can you When you look at your. penis, is it translucent? It seems like. it is. Okay. You know what's rude? Put it in your. pocket. Don't put it there. Pervert. Yeah. You're going to take your wand. home, right, Jules? What's been going on. with Jewels? Well, you keep asking that, dude. Because she's not around anymore. I know. She left us, guys. I did leave. Did she leave us? She's graduating. No. No. Look at the booth. Did she leave us? Yeah. She's graduating from college in.
two months, right? Yeah. Isn't that. crazy? She started this show when she. was in high school. High school. I know. Senior in high school. I know. But I. didn't leave you guys. Yes, you did. Don't Don't Don't. I didn't. Trash. Tuesday and Tiger Valley. Ask me. Not. you guys. fans at home, did she leave. us? Comment down below. Yeah, comment. down below. You know you did. No, I did. Who gave you the most fun opportunities? Funny. And she doesn't take them. No. Yeah. Come down to Long Beach. Get.
appreciated. I don't want to. I don't. want to. I don't. Yeah. Yeah. And it's. fine. And now you're single. She's a hot. shot. She's got money. Does whatever she. wants. Single. It's It's You know what's. so funny about you, too? You claim you. don't have a lot of money, but there's a. lot of Amazon packages for you. A lot. goes, "I need underwear." No, that's not. Nobody's ordering underwear. Go to Ross. I need underwear and hangers. See, people like you. This people are like. ungrateful. Ungrateful. Ungrateful. people. Yeah. People like, "What has.
Tito Bobby done for you? Literally. everything. And here you are ordering. underwear off of. Amazon. Disgusting. Heavy metal [ __ ]. What have you done? I don't know. I don't know. I don't. know. What have you done for me? Move. away. Can I tell you something? What? [ __ ] you. When you posted that photo of. you at the Renaissance Fair, I literally. said I go, "He looks happier than I've.
seen him in years." Yeah. No, I'm. serious. Put up the photo. I'm not. kidding. I saw that photo today. Which. one? With me and Brit or just me. dancing? You and Brit, dude. I was like, "You guys, you look so stoked.". You know why? This is my friend. You. know, I know, dude. But I'm just saying, you know why? Pretty. Yeah. Very, very. pretty. You know why? Yeah. Because. you're having I can tell right there. You're goofing. You're having fun. And. you're goofing. I said, "Oh, man. He's. goofing. He's having a good time." And I. guarantee you, you got recognized a lot. And you were jamming and having a good. day. Well, I'll be honest with you. I.
had Carlos. I had two fairies. Am I. right? I had two fairies. Two. executioners. Who' you get recognized? The king. a king recognize you. Another. one, this is a funny one, dude. A man, so he was holding something on a leash. and there was like a man with no shirt. on, black leather pants. I don't know. what he was. He was holding something on. the leash and I go, "That's" And I and I. followed the leash down and there was. another. man as like a dog or something. Sure. Just crawling on the ground like that.
Sure. Yeah. So you have that, too. What. do you mean? That's just what do you. mean his and the dog the dog human. recognizes you went my. prank said my prank I prank yeah so that. was nice that's a real thing there by. the way you do see like people on. leashes huh there's a lot of weird. things there a lot of trans which I. support. I do I know but yeah yeah and it's a. couple me lady and he goes he lady.
m yeah yeah Sorry. Sorry. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So, you know, that was one. of those situations. That's okay. Yeah. It's okay. You're You're g I was. gathering information. You're gathering. information as you It's a long walk. It's a lot of walking. What? Orange. County. Where was this? It's in. Pasadena. Got to be. It was a long, but. it it just goes on forever and then it's. like I I ate crepes. Yeah. Okay. You. like sweet or savory crap? Sweet. Nutella. Yeah. Yeah. Love. Strawberry. You like pink berry or yogurt land?
I hate Pink Berry so much it's. unbelievable. It's a fake place. It's. dog [ __ ] Yeah. Give me ice cream. Frozen yogurt is a lie. Am I right, guys? It's a lie. It's not a lie. It's a. lie. Tell me this. Pink berry can't. compete with Salt and Straw, McConnell's, Vanluen. It doesn't even. come close. It's a cleaner taste, though. But it doesn't satisfy you. It. does. No, it doesn't. With a chocolate. malt crunch. The [ __ ] it does, dude.
Chocolate. Ice cream is better than. frozen yogurt every day of the week. Everyone knows ice cream. Cash app. You owe me money. You know. that. I know. And you know what? I sent. it to you on Cash App. You have to send. it to me on Cash App cuz app safe, easy, and fast way to send, receive, and. transfer money to family and friends. Bobby and I are both a family and. friends. It's so easy to get started. Just enter your phone number, email. No. bank account needed at all. And your.
money, my money showed up right away. No. waiting around for days now, man. It's. your money. You shouldn't have to wait. Cash App has your back. If you're about. to send money to a sketchy account, uh, a scam warning pops up. Do you feel way. more relaxed knowing Cash App has your. back? Cuz you should. It does. And by. the way, I got scammed on one of these. uh, money transfer things. I'm not going. to tell you which one, but somebody was. using my money to rent boats in Florida. and go fishing. That was me, dude. That. was you? And really good yellow fish. Well, I'll tell you what. I use I love. using Cash App because it's fast, it's.
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two disc plates is 33% off. Three disc. plates is 37% off. Four more disc plates. is 42% off. Happy birthday, Displate. Ice cream is so much better than frozen. yogurt. Everyone in your nose, please, somebody, please. Okay. Pinkberry is. lactose. Huh? Are you lactose? No, I'm. Christian. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. I'm. lactose, but I'm converting to. Christian. You're the first Korean Jew. that I've ever met. I know, dude. My. tummy. No, dude. You don't. You can't have ice. cream. I know. But when we go out, No,
you have. You just take a lactate. I. like a lactate. I like a lactate. I like. a lactate. Can you have lactose? I. don't, but I still eat it. Yeah. Your. stomach gets upset, man. What it's like. to be Jewish in South Korea. Let's zoom. in. I'm shocked. Yeah, they they're they. are there. Wow. Not one of those people South. Korean. Yeah. Look. Well, look at the. one in the hat right there. That's. that's like a Korean Jew right there. Korean. I can't wait to leave. Yeah. Look at your little wand, by the way. Do.
you like your wand? It's so nice. What are you texting? Nothing. You're on. your [ __ ] Here's the deal about Bob. When he falls in love with somebody or. falls in crush, whatever, he's on his. phone the whole time. That's crazy. You. have another crush. Hard. Hard. You love You like this person a. lot. No, let me do my own. Sorry.
Dating addiction. Maybe cut that out. Carlos thinks Yeah, that felt weird. It didn't hit. Carlos. thinks you have a dating addiction. Well, you know, um I've been looking up. liance. Limicks from Ireland. No. Limrance. And I will love you so very. much. What is it? Limrance is um an. infatuation with somebody that's. bordering on unhealthy. Do you think. that's what you have? I don't know. So, I'm being mindful about how I behave.
You know, why why can't I deserve love? That's what we're saying. No, we're not. saying No, we're literally saying I want. you to be happy. Am I wrong? I I think. you're a sabotager. Why? I don't know, man. How would you ever hook me up with. a friend of yours? Yeah. And can I tell. you something? Every time you date. someone or starts talking to someone, I. do something. Do what do you think I do? A prayer. And I'm going to say this to. the fans right now. Yeah. What do you. think I really do? A prayer. No. What do. you do? Every time you date somebody, I.
look into their profile. And what's the. first thing you think I do, Carlos? What. do you think I do with their profile? Let me guess. You jerk off. Uhuh. Carlos, what do you think I do? I think. you look at the stories. I see. You look at the stone. I see if that Go. ahead, M. If she's following a bunch of. other comics. Uh-huh. Thank you, M. Okay. I go, how many people comics is. she following? And then I also see, has. she. DM'd anyone we know? And the current.
woman that you're having a good time. with, Gusk, that means she's a good one. Am I wrong? Yeah. Yeah. She's not following a lot of. comics and she hasn't been DMing comics. Yeah. That means she's legit. She likes. She's not a chuckle [ __ ] Well, no. She likes Bobby Lee. Instead of liking. the world of Bobby Lee, she likes Bobby. Lee. And that to me, as the booth knows, is the most important. Have I not. supported you? Seriously?
[Music]. Enough of that. I think people are going. to drive it's going to drive people. crazy. Yeah. No, but am I being serious? Yes. When I see she's following other. comments, blah blah blah. And let me. tell you something. I looked into golf. And when I see a golf ball, right, I. look at it different because of you. And. what do you do? Sorry. That's what. happens. It never arrives to me. He. drifts away from me like you do. I'll. get it. We get one. You got a kid. that'll get it. Yeah. Good girl. Oh my.
god. Oh my. You. mean King Dork. And don't get offended. by this if I may. Go ahead. Right. This. look this the texture of the ball is. kind of like your face. Oh my god. Go. on. Go on. Well, I think if you were. younger, maybe you had some acne. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah. So, I'm feeling. those craters. Oh, you feel that? Yeah. Yeah. And then, but if the center. there's a mass in there, you know what I. mean? And that's the brain. That's my. brain. Yeah. And that's the brain. And.
your brain Yeah. is filled filled. Thank. you. Yeah. With knowledge. Thank you. Yeah. And Yeah. But this texture of the. skin though is the one I want to go. back. Is it bad? Not my favorite. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So anyway, here you. go. Yeah. I'll take that hit. Yeah. Yeah. What do I remind you of? An ugly old. 52-y old man who's single and sad. Wow. That that was fast. That was fast.
and furious. Part of six, I'll tell you. that. Wow. Yeah. Yeah. Anyway, you're the. prettiest guy. You're pretty. And who. supports you more than me? Not these. [ __ ] clowns. Yeah. Shut up. I mean, now that you're single, what are you. going to do, loser? Eat [ __ ]. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Dude, are you on to. girls? Are you on to girls? I don't. know, but I'll try. That's the thing. about That's the thing about Love on the. Spectrum. The autistic kids, they when.
they're like, I don't know if I like. guys, they go right to uh by curious and. I'm autistic. Yes. Yeah. But the two. girls in there got together. Yeah. Yeah. And they're in love. I'm saying Perry. Yeah. She likes trains. Perry. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I love her. I love her. So, what are you you're interested in chicks. or No. Yeah. Anything. No. You're open. M but what do you you're leaning towards. girls now?
No, just both. Okay. But I want to try. BBC, too. Huh? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? Big Black [ __ ]. Yeah. No. No. No. No. Yes. Well, attention all BBC's. [Laughter]. There it is. That's yours. Wow. Send in. your uh Don't send in your penis. That's. disgusting. That's disgusting. Sending. your send in your uh what I mean a. video. No, no, no. Cuz they'll do penis.
like measurements. No. No. No. Your. credit rating. Yes. Yes. Your credit. rating. Send them what kind of car you. drive. You drive a Challenger or a. Charger uh at Carlos in the. boothgmail.com. Let's see if you can get. some chocolate love down here to. Cinnamon Central. So, when we're at the. Renaissance Sons Fair, right, we ran. into a couple of little Asian girls. They're in their 30s, but they're like. smaller. Forever girls. And we were. eating and stuff like that. And then my. friend goes, "Yeah." They're going, "Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yum. Yum.
Look at that. There's Brad Williams.". Yeah. Yeah. Stop, dude. And then and then they look like, you. know, um, librarians or whatever. Or, you know what I mean? Or they were like. dental assistants. Dental assistants. Yeah. And then my friend goes, "Oh, they're the two biggest Only fans." So. then I immediately go, "What's their. only fans?" What do you mean? There's. two little people. No, they're not. dwarves, but they're just smaller Asians. that look cute and look like engineers. and they're famous only fans. Yeah.
Yeah. And so then I frantically, you. know, they're forcing people trying to. get their Only Fans. Put What are they? What's her name? Right. I'm not going to. say, but my point is is that And ooh la. la. It was nice. Nice. Nice. You never. can tell. You never can tell. That's my. thing. Are you going to do apps now? You. never did the apps. Like Tinder. Oh, like No. Hinge. Tinder. Rya. Try it. Ry. is yours, right? That's what you're on. Yeah, you can get on probably Ry, but I. don't like the guys on Ry to go get on, you know, cuz your generation not do the. apps. They do, but like all the guys.
there just want to [ __ ] Yeah. I think. you're asexual. Is that what it is? No, but I mean, like, isn't that what all. the apps are? Am I crazy? Yeah. Yeah. Fancy don't I don't want to fancy you. She's looking for love. Yeah. You were. never on the apps, right? You met your. wife in where? at a bar. What bar? The. Dodgers uh bar. The Dodgers bar. Do you. Do you mean the shortstop? Yep. Are you. [ __ ] kidding me? No. You met your. wife at the shortstop on Sunset? Uh-huh.
When When you go in for a Jo, shut up. Honestly, you're the one that's drunk. I. know. Yeah. And you know what? You know, I'm I'm drunk on Easter and let me tell. you something. I'm hurt. Oh, let's hear it. Can I be. honest? I'm hurt. Tell us your your hurt. pain. Because Jules was our Oh my god. She was one of the pillars of this show. Uhhuh. And she went away and she doesn't.
give a [ __ ] about us, dude. You're a. [ __ ] [ __ ] right now, dude. You. don't care about us anymore. I do. No, you don't. I swear. No, you clean up the. dog poop and you don't care. You know, your behavior last night was uncalled. for. But I do. We were doing a show at. the Ice House. Usually we switch, but. you told me to close. And then you're. like, "Oh, I don't." Everybody wants the. king to close. Am I right? Yeah. And. then he go and he goes, "Oh, I have. nothing." And then he goes up there and. he destroys. No. With crowd work. No. And I got buried both shots. I was rife.
in it. Yeah. There's Matt rife in it. Yeah. My guy Dr. Drew Dr. Drew came and. saw us. He diagnosed us. Yeah. Yeah. He. gave us a breakdown. This [ __ ]. can diagnose you live. Yeah. He's a good. guy, though. I gotta tell you, Bob is. ready to film. I'm not ready to film. Yes, you are. Bobby's hour is so funny. And I've seen it for two years. We were. on the road. Okay. And now he's been. doing his thing. And I'm not I'm not. kidding. It's You're so ready. It's. crazy. It's so funny. It's funny to.
watch someone do it. No, I'm not. I'm. not kidding. I'm still not done, man. No, he's Yeah. I need another 20 and I'm. good. He's ready to rock. Another 20, but it's going to be And we were there. with Kevin Nean last night. Nean, one of. the greatest of all time. Yeah. So he's. a liar. Passively. He's a liar. What' he. do? He goes, "Hey, Kevin, did you go. up?" Well, he goes, "Yeah, I did." But. he didn't. Yeah. Not yet. You can't get. anything truthful from it. I know. Yeah. Yeah. Would you bring a date to the ice. house? Cuz you bring dates to the store. I think it's You know what? Home.
territory is different though. This new. This new ice house. Yeah. I hate it at. first. Why? I think they treat me. poorly. Really? Yeah. And then I. complained about it on I think this. podcast. Mhm. Yeah. And then Johnny Buzz. called me and said, "Dude," he goes, "Give us another chance." You did? And. they switched it up and they made They. treat all of us better now. 100%. Yeah. Yeah. And now it's nice to go. You feel. better when you go down there. I like. the rooms. I love them. Yeah. I will say. I miss the old ice house. For people.
that don't know, it was all Mexican. Yeah. Give it to me. Yeah. I love Mexicans. I love Mexicans. And it was more. Mexican. It's still some, but I liked. when it was all Mexican. Yeah, I love. Mexicans. Yeah, they're just great. people. They're just I don't know. It's. different now. Am I wrong? Please, come. on. Yeah, Mexicans. No, no, they're rude. now. Oh, you don't like Mexicans? I love. them. Not that. No, no, seriously. You.
don't like them? I love them. Why? Why? Yeah. Just a couple of Mexicans today, they had very yellow teeth, but that's. just an observation. Really? Because next to the Renaissance. Fair is a park and it's Easter, right? So, you know, you got a guy, you know. what I mean? You wearing like a he's got. a mini moped and he's got like a. Spider-Man hat on. Oh, yeah. Hey, PTO, get out of the way. You know what I. mean? That kind of thing. You know what. I mean? It's Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And. there's all those You want go you go. from the Renaissance fair to like, you.
know, people, you know, with real. knives, you know what I mean? You know. what I mean? And like, you know what I. mean? It it was like a completely. different if there was a war they would. win. Oh, sure. between the Renaissance. Fair. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. They would. totally win. But, you know, Yeah. It's. good. I love it. Where was the. Renaissance Fair? In Pasadena, but by the bowl or something? No, it's. like far. I It was a little farther than. Pasadena, actually. But it was talking. Where is that? No. Carlos, don't. See, it's that that. whole green thing.
See that whole green thing right there? Can you zoom in, buddy? That's so far. past where the lake is. Yeah. Yeah. That's exact because the lake is Padina, dude. Zoom out. That's [ __ ] What is. that called? It's by a zoom. Irwindale. That's so far away. It's pretty far. Yeah. Pasadena. Yeah, Pasadena is 20. miles west. So, were you wellreceived? What do you. mean, dude? Were people excited to see. Bobby Lee at the Renaissance Fair? Um, you know, dude, it's funny. When please.
When I was with my group, no one really. said anything, but but I did voyages on. my own and that's when it started. happening. So, do you broke you broke. off from the group? I had to break up. from the group to do my little shopping. Do you have to talk to people about it? Do they have to say, "Let's before we. dismantle, we must organize it." It. feels like they're plotting for war. every time they're there. No. Yeah. Oh, no. They go, "We'll go where the You. know what I mean? The mini cows are meet. us back there." Mini cows. There's a. petting zoo. Calves. Little cows. Yeah. Really? Did you pet? I sure did. You.
did? Are there games? Yeah. There's axe. throwing, spear throwing, um, bow and. arrow, right, with, you know what I. mean? I didn't do any of those. activities. You didn't want to try one of them? No, no, no, no. When I saw my group do the. spears and they were just so bad. Your. group and I was ripping on them. I go, "Oh my god, what do you have? Carpal. tunnel." I was just like making fun of. them. If you could do one, what would. you do? Bow and arrow, I think, cuz. Koreans are good at that. Are they the. guy? The guy from the Olympics and. women. Really? Yeah. We win every time.
in the Olympics. Let me see you pose. That's a bone and arrow if I've ever. seen. No, I'm not done. No, it looks. good. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, po. Yeah. Yeah. Wow. Yeah. Right. there it is. That's That's the South. Korean moment. She won the the gold in. the Olympics. Right. Amazing. These. What's her name? Third gold medal. Anan. Juan. Anan Juan. That's her third gold. medal. Anan. Damn, dude. That's got to. be so gangster. I mean, have you ever. seen the splash brothers? Steph Curry.
No, no, no. They're Filipino guys diving. and they're trying to qualify for. something. Oh, and they Yeah, I can't. They can't. I've seen him. I mean, play. it. This guy's my guy. This the guy the. fourth one. Yeah. Well, it's all of them. really. Dan. Emosen. Okay. Good. takeoff. Not going to make it. Oh my god. By the way, the second guy's. worse when they pause it.
Jesus. Jesus Christ. Look at his Look at. his form. Look at his form. Right on his. back. That's pretty good. No high five. Why would you high five? No high five. All right, dude. I If he high five, I. would move my head. How about a John. David? Yeah. I didn't see. Let's see if this guy John Don David Po. Try not to laugh, guys. Just thinking. about his his nurse gig right after.
this. Oh no. Yes, sir. Jesus Christ. He does. this but he lands on his feet. It's. incredible. I mean, he's like tucking in. pain. Look at his face. Oh my god. How are they so bad? How they How are. they You're surrounded by water. The Philippines are surrounded by Well, you have cliffs. How are they that bad? I don't know. Uh yeah, they're bad. Look. at his face, dude. Look at that. He took.
a [ __ ] mid air, dude. Look at him. Oh my. god. Look at him. His whole life. flushing for. Delete Me. Delete me makes it easy, quick, and safe to remove your personal. data online. Uh at a time when. surveillance and data breaches are. common enough to make everyone. vulnerable. I feel vulnerable. Don't. you? Yeah. And my personal information. is my personal information. I don't like. that. That's why it's personal, pal. Yeah. Yeah. All right. More and more. online partisans and nefarious actors. will find this data and use it to target. political rivals, civil servants, and. even outspoken citizens posting their.
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6400. The only way to get 20% off is to. text bad friends to. 6400 0. That's bad friends to. 6400. Message and data rates may apply. A lot of Filipinos don't know how to. swim. Why? Why? Cuz they don't go to No, but seriously, why? It's an island. It's. an island. Well, some islands. It's a. chain of It's a chain of islands. Some. Filipino. It's not Nebraska. Some. Filipinos don't want to get dark. They.
don't bother going to the in the sun. In. the sun. See? Yeah. Okay. But did you. ever use sunscreen as a kid? That was. not a thing. No, that's our thing. That's my thing. But they won gold in in. weightlifting. Oh, weightlifting. Yeah. Yeah. Did they? Yeah. Female. weightlifting. And then I think Doarte. bought her like a mansion or something. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So, here you are, Jules. Mhm. Young, single, successful, fresh out of college. What's the next.
move for you? Um, citizenship. Yeah, that's L. It's. him on the cart. That's incredible. We. We should buy that just for Yeah. Can we. scratch all our money together to do. that? Look at how sick that looks. You. got the gold card. Do you really want to be a citizen here? Don't you like. leaving? You want to live here forever? I like staying here, but I don't I don't. get why it's so hard to stay here. What. do you mean? It's the best country in.
the world. We get it, man. You're from. Texas. We get it, dude. What is it? Cuz in the. Philippines, there's so many white. people, white old people that just stays. there for a long time. But then here, I. can't stay for a long time. Right. Right. It's unfair. It's unfair. So the. whites get to come and do whatever they. want and you can't come here and do. whatever. Right. Yeah. Well, what's the. Philippines main export?
Coconut, [Laughter]. right? Some other the Philippines may. exports electronic products part uh. particularly integrated circuits. Semiconductors. Okay. Okay. And coconut. oil. Coconut oil. Copper, nickel, gold. Yeah. Office machine parts. That's. great. Yeah. Printers. You want to print. something? Oh, yeah. So, I'll probably. outside companies set up factories. there, right? For sure. Yeah. Yeah. For. sure. So, what's going to what's going.
to happen to you now that you're single? Are you going to move back? Cuz you. can't stay here. We don't want to hear. No, I want to stay. No. No. Not with. Trump. You can't. Guys, tell her we You. can't stay. You need to join Only Fans. to survive. No. Shut the [ __ ] up, man. Carlos, you're a pig. You're a pig. She's our daughter. Is there a way to. like. prove that like I'm okay. I'm an okay. Filipino. Yeah. I mean, there is ways to go. There's a test, isn't there? Yeah, there's an okay Filipino test and we.
have it memorizer and I have it. memorized. All right, go ahead. Okay. How fast can you climb a tree? Like really fast. Like All right. Like a. minute. A 20 A 20ft tree, right? A palm. tree. How fast can you climb that? Go. Like 2 minutes. Oh, no. There's poop. There's poop right there. What do you do. with it? You eat it. That's right. All. right. That's right. That's right. All. right. That's good for two. Yeah. Yeah. A dwarf with two knives are attacking. you. But from the sky, a lady with two. knives is attacking you. What do you do?
What do you do? You stab the dwarf. Yes. That's the right crack. Yes. And then. Yes. You just say hi to the Yes. That's. how you do it, dude. Because she fell. off a building. That's right. She was. cooking something on the 15th floor and. she fell off. Okay. Here comes someone. in the village. Hi, Brody. I'm your I'm. your great great great great aunt and. you know me. Do you remember me? I need. money. What do you do? Shut the [ __ ] up. All right. All. right. Right. It's 3:00 in the morning.
You hear a noise. You go outside, right? And you see a half Filipino man, half. wolf, right? And half chicken. All right. So, three halves. Yeah. Three. halves. Everybody has three. Everybody. has three halves, right? What do you do? You kill it and you roast it and you eat. it. Yeah. What else do you do? And you you you [ __ ] it. You [ __ ] it. You [ __ ] it. You [ __ ] the human part. That's very good. You eat the [ __ ].
chicken and the [ __ ] wolf part. Pretty easy. Very easy. If you have a. baby, right? It is a wolf baby. That's a wolf baby. Yeah. Yeah. With. hair on the face. You know, like Barnum. and Bailey, you know, one of those. circus. What? It's a circus. What a. circus. What do you do? You eat it because it's an animal. No. No. That's your kid. No, that's wrong. No praying mantises do that. No. Propecia.
What is that? You give it a hair. medication. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, no. It makes. that helps hair grow, right? [ __ ] I got. it wrong. I think Yeah. So, do you want. to So, I'm being genuine. Do you want to. get back on into the dating scene or No, not right now. You're Yeah. The wounds. are too fresh. Yeah. But when you do get. back out, you want to only date women, huh? Not only, but we're What kind of. woman do you want, though? Do you want. like a girly girl or like a a girly. girl? Girly girl, right? Like who's your.
who's your crush? My crush like what. female famous person is your crush? Girl. crush. Is it like a girly girl? So it's. got to be like is it like a Marggo. Robbie? No. Like the girl from The Last. of Us that plays Dena. Who's that? Live. that out. He's so pretty. Isabella Mer. Shut up. Fancy with the [ __ ] with. the [ __ ] accent. Isabella Mar. Like. she's so pretty. She is. But is that. your style? That's your type. That's.
what you're looking for? I think so. Not. white. Not white. All right, fans. We. get it. Yeah. You have a particular um. fear of the white. Yeah. What is your. fear of the white? You have the fear of. the white. What is it? Well, I tried. white dick and I told you guys that that. was too translucent for me. Yeah. Like. I understand. You want to see everything in there, right? Right. You don't see all the. veins, all the inner workings. You want. to see how the sausages just want to see.
the sausage. You just want to cover, you. know? So, so now with women, your. favorite kind of woman is like that. And. small. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. All the I know. Let me ask you something. Are you still. buzzed? Oh, yeah. I'm buzzing. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Can you tell? Yeah. Happy. birthday to you. Happy birthday to. you. Happy. birthday, dear.
Carlos. Happy. birthday to you. Yay. Thanks y'all. How old are you, Carlo? 38. Damn. Yeah. What's in there? Is that a sweet green. salad? Yeah, the basic salad. Damn, dude. So [ __ ] sad. That's your cake. Oh, I mean cake on my actual birthday. was sadder. I played the Indiana Jones.
game and just hung out with my dog. Who. texted you on your birthday? You and. Bob? He did? Mhm. Yes, I did. Did he? He. really did. I really did. Did anybody. else? Mone called me this morning. Did. Fance Fancy didn't Interesting, dude. Fancy texted me and said, "Is Carlos's. birthday today?" I said it was. yesterday. Go ahead. Go ahead, [ __ ] I knew it. was around 4:20. What do you mean you. knew it was around? His favorite. holiday.
So, you didn't know his birthday and. then you just didn't wish him happy. birthday? Yeah. Wow. Did you have. anything to say for yourself? Yeah. This. is a crew. This is a crew. Disgraced. Jet ski hit me up. Did she? She didn't. Nice try. Yeah. Nice try. All about. herself. belated happy birthday. Oh, [ __ ] off. That doesn't count. Doesn't. count. Who? So, we're playing London. Who's going Who who didn't text you for. your birthday that hurt you the most for. real? Like, who didn't acknowledge your.
birthday that actually bothered you? Oh, cuz I find for real. Yeah. Because as we. get older, right, Bob? Get Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. As we get older, what are you on. Facebook? What are you No, because all. the restaurants are closed. I'm hungry, so I'm ordering it to to get delivered. to my house. You're waiting till now? We. had all night to order food. Literally. all night. It's 9:00. It's 9:30. Yeah, but after this podcast, I'm going to go. straight home. It'll be ready for me. Okay. Okay. What's your problem, dude? Continue with. your [ __ ] You're my problem, bud. No.
No, bud. And that's that's a strong word. right now, bud. We're not at bud level. I mean, you're acting a little silly. right now, dude. [Laughter]. Carlos. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Who didn't. text you that bothered you the most? M. probably exes. Like my ex-wife didn't. hit me up. Why? Wait, wait. Why would. Why would your ex-wife hit you up? Yeah, just to acknowledge it. And then the. girl I dated after who had a boyfriend, she didn't hit me up either cuz she's. engaged now. Well, yeah, bud. And then.
the other girl also didn't. Yeah, dude. Outside of exes, because that women, that's tough. Any girl texted you? Yeah, a couple girls hit me up. Hie. Hy. Yeah, she's hot. Who's Hanny? Who's. Annie? Annie from Miami. What guy? What. buddy that what guy friend that you're. good close with didn't hit you on your. birthday? It bothers you. I think the. real answer is Andress, but I can't. really get mad at Andress. It's this. weird thing. Did Benji text you? I. brought you pizza. Yeah, he brought me.
pizza. Let me ask you something. Did. Benji text you? Benji did not. Was it. shocking when I texted you? Yeah, because we had just gotten in a big. fight last week. You guys fought? Oh, man. We've been fighting for weeks. It's. been going on. It's been going on. tested me. What? You never texted me for. what? For anything. Okay. Exactly. I do this all the time. Whenever you talk whenever I call Fancy. Yeah. When he picks up, I go, "This is a. bad idea." I know. Me, too. Hey, Andrew.
I'm like, "Never mind. Goodbye." Also, there's things going on in the. background. Like, where are you in a. [ __ ] airplane? The guy The guy works. sound like he lives in a factory. Like, what the [ __ ] are you doing over there, dude? Yeah, he lives in a factory where. a. baby. What are you doing over there, dude? And the baby's like, I got to tell you, dude, I don't buy. this [ __ ] You and the baby and the. wife. That's not real. That's not real, dude. It's impossible that she likes.
you. Impossible. Who? The baby or the. wife? Both. I think I think it's an. impossibility. So, honestly, Carlos, a. few people didn't text you and you're. not and it's okay. You don't have to. call them out, but there's a few people. that didn't text you that it bothers. you. Yeah. Also, that same person that. didn't text me had is going to have a. baby and they didn't tell me. And I was. seriously. Yeah. Wow. And I was like, "Oh, they don't want to tell me." Holy. [ __ ] Does that [ __ ] you up? It makes me. feel like I'm being separated from my. friends and I'm drifting in space to.
Well, let me tell you something. And I'm. being honest. Can I be Can I be real? Yeah. A lot of my friends have kids. There's a thing that happens when you. don't have kids where you're not. invited. And honestly, I get it. I get. it. You don't want to be invited, dude. Shut the [ __ ] up. Honestly, honestly, shut the [ __ ] up. But did did Sebastian. ever invite you to his little kid. things? No, but that would never be. We're not close. I used to go there. We're not close like that. Okay. But I'm. saying like friends of mine outside of. the business, they have kids and they.
feel weird not inviting us. And I. understand. But there's also a moment of. like like today, like Easter today. Easter Sunday today. I'll come over. I'll come over and do. the thing. I'll do what? Hunt. I want to. hunt for Hunt for kids. What are you doing, dude? For eggs? What. is this? Hunger Games? Yeah. I'll go. hunt for kids. I'll go have an egg hunt. Yeah, I'm a fun guy. Not really. Really? Yeah. I mean, there's a thing about Do.
it. I know, but in your face you crink. your eyes crinkle, right? You do smile, but the cheeks is rage. Have you noticed. that? Yeah. You go like this, right? No, but I but I'm a good uncle. I'm a great. uncle, but it's like I'll come over and. do the egg thing. I think people feel. bad about inviting us because they're. like, "You don't have kids. We don't. invite you." Oh, yeah. And it feels. weird. You You don't get invited. Well, you don't get invited. Or you know what. I hate too is when comics go, "You got. married?" And they go, "Yeah, like last. year." How many people K what? Like 500.
And I go I've helped you. You know what. I mean? Yeah. You're shocked. I'm. shocked. Like I Dude, I helped your. career. I'm because Yeah. It's because. of me. I just I wouldn't go. But I want. the invitation. You know what I mean? Cly invites you. Whatever it says. Why. do you want the invitation? You're never. going to go. I've gone to a couple. Whose wedding did you go to? Dr. Sebastian Moscow and Dr. Ken Jang. I. have a question. Yeah. Here we go. Jazz.
it up. Do you guys ever get ingrown. hairs in your balls? Can I tell you something? It's crazy. This is nuts. I lotion my nuts every day. now because I have eczema, you know, like. in your ball like balls. Wait, check. this out. You really have eczema, dude. Check this out. I have eczema all over. my body. Stinky [ __ ] dirty [ __ ]. No, it's not stinky. It's just It's just. dry skin. It's not good, dude. Okay. Oh. my god. Okay, dude. It's dry skin. It's.
disgusting, dude. It's what [ __ ]. Jeremiah Watkins gets. I had all over. his body. I had eczema. This is wild. I. had eczema all over my body one time. Dry skin. I got eczema on my balls. And. the doctor. said And the doctor was like, "Just. [ __ ] lotion up your balls." Yeah, but. I do lotion my balls. I lotion my balls. every day. Yeah. Now. I over lotion my balls. Yeah, I have. pores on my balls that you know me. No,
I'm serious. I over lotion my balls now. Okay. Do you guys put lotion on your. nuts? Never. Dude, your butthole is so. ugly. Why? It's just one of the ugliest. buttholes I've ever seen. Look who's. talking. Yeah, two. Part two is my. favorite one. Look who's talking part. two. Yeah. Wait, why do you ask that? Because I I just got my first ingrown. and it's like a big cyst. Oh, it's so. painful on your konchito. Oh, yeah. Don't call that that. What is that? Oh,
you got an ingrown hair. Yeah. It's so. painful. Gross. Cuz I didn't exfoliate. right once like before your shave. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I don't want to hear about. it. It's disgusting, dude. That's. disgusting. You know what? And I was looking for. advice for you guys if how to Okay, here's the deal. I'll tell you. Bobby. could tell you. Bobby and I both know to. deal with ingrown hairs, you got to use. uh witch hazel. Witch hazel. Look this. up. I'm not kidding. Yeah. Yeah. Look up.
witch hazel. Look for people at home. Witch hazel is a great ingredient you. can put on everything. It reduces. inflammation. Right, Los? Look it up. There it is. Yep. Tux cooling pads with. witch hazel. This looks nice. Yeah. It's. got uh protects from irritation, hemorrhoids, and other problems. Talks, man. Yeah. Anyway, thank you for being a. bad friend. I mean, what the [ __ ].
[Music]. Yeah. Woo. Yeah. Woo. [Music].
