Rudy & Her Sister Are Bullies | Ep 276 | Bad Friends

You two are bad friends. Who are these. two idiots? A white dude and an Asian. dude. You two are disgusting. Well, you. two are something. We're bad friends. Look who's here. I know. She lives in my. house. Does she really? We clean. No, you don't. Yes, we do. No. Here's what. Here I So, I give her a hundred bucks, right? Yeah. Just do this $100. Just do. this little small laundry. Yeah. Stays. in there for 24 hours in the dryer. Oh. my god. Right. And then I go, "You're.

not going to fold it." She goes, "I. folded it right away." I know. After I. said something, for $100, what do you. have to do in the Philippines to make. that? Yeah. What do you have to do in. the Philippines for $100? That's a lot. Well, you have to be the fastest tree. climber in the neighborhood. Yeah. Yeah. What can What's as 100. American dollars, how many uh It's 5,000. pesos. What can you get for 5,000 pesos. in the Philippines? Buy a whole village. I know. Property, everything. What can. you really buy? Say seriously like what. does 5,000 pesos get you? An iPhone.

They said a pesos like it's Oh, iPhone. is more expensive. Yeah, it's like a. hundred,000. Are your iPhones made out. of coconut shells? Yeah. Like how do they get all those. components in there? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's breaking off. Yeah. Okay. Wow. Remember you can buy a lot of clothes. for shoes. Shoes. But you'd have to work. how long to get to get 100 5,000 pesos, do you think? Um, I think two days. No, more more. Yeah. Like, oh my god. So, 1.

hour laundry. Look at this. This is the average daily. pay in the Philippines varies by region, but the minimum wage for. non-aggricultural workers in Metro. Manila is 645 pesos and he gave you. 5,000 pesos. Yeah. And so when I say do. the laundry, does it mean just leave it. in the dryer? I just I I want to. understand your the language, you know, I mean, if I'm going being direct, I I. don't know. Do I be do I have to be. specific? Yeah, because you were like, "Oh, can you do the laundry?" I thought.

you just meant just put it in the. laundry. That's only one half of the laundry. I. know. That's just one half. The hard. part is folding it. Right. Right. That's. what I'm paying you for. What? I had fun. folding it. You like folding? I like. folding. Yeah. Yeah. But I had to ask. you the next day. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. The. average monthly salary for a. housekeeper, what you're asking her to. do in the Philippines is around 14,000. pesos. So, you got you got onethird of a. month pay in one day. Yeah. I got to I.

got to tell you, this is it's too much. It's too much. I think I'm paying too. much. You are? Yeah. Yeah. Why don't you. pay them in pesos? Can you do that? Yeah. Mexican pesos. Yeah, that's right. Yeah. Is it the same thing? No. If I got. pesos in Mexico, can I spend it in the. Philippines? They'd take anything down. there, I'm sure. Yeah. Yeah. Let's. introduce introduce our guests now that. we've just bered them for Yeah. Yeah. five minutes. Well, we got Jules, you. know, we have the old school Rudy Jewels. is back. Back, you know what I mean? And. then we have uh her little sister, Issa. Isa. Isa. Isa. Izzy. Like how old are.

you now? I'm 17. Wow. Mhm. That's Rudy. when we started. We started when Rudy. was 17. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And uh. you were a little nervous before. Are. you nervous now? No, I'm okay. Because. you know us. You know us now. No, you don't know him. I've met him like. four times. That's enough times. I know. But are you still be honest with me. because he's a lot. Are you scared of. him? Are you scared of Andrew a little. bit? No. Yeah. Why won't you lock I lock. eyes with Andrew? Lock eyes with him.

She's not. I know, dude. But the way you. lock eyes look eyes with me. I see. I. have to turn over. You're like a dog. Yeah. Yeah. My my [ __ ] trembles, dude. It does. And it goes puck. You. mean the inside of my butthole comes out. a little bit. It's my my body going, "No." What? You know what I mean? The. hat a little bit high. Uhuh. Pull the. hat a little high. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Dude, dude, dude, dude. Dude, dude, do. what you do, dude. Do what you do, dude. Yeah, exactly. Do what you do, dude. That was out of pocket, bro. Yeah. Yeah,

dude. I gave him this gift and he's. talking to me. Give me the shirt back. now. I'm going to do it, too. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I'm protecting the equipment. Take it off. Come on. Oh my god. I feel better now. Illegal. That's a.

warning. It's a warning, dude. God, dude. He ruins the show. You ruin it, dude. You put us in bad moods, bro. Why. do you do that? Yeah, you put us against. a wall. We have to fight our way out. Yeah. Yeah. Ruined it. Yeah. But you. know what you you guys are right now? What? You guys are Simon and Theodore. Who's that? Oh my god. Alvin and the. Chipmunks. Oh. Oh my gosh. No. Alvin and Theodore. Oh, Alvin. Alvin. Alvin and Theodore. That's what we are. Yeah, that's us. Are. they the bullies? Are they the bully?

You [ __ ] up. Back up, dude. Back up. Keep it up. Keep it up, dude. We bought. you gifts. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. By the way, you know what? He texted me cuz we have. to do I we have to do I have to do a. read for my show. And I said, "Oh, okay. Can we can do we can do it after or we. can do it before bed." And he's like, "Come to the studio at 6:00." And then I. hit him and I said, "I can't I can't. make it at 600. I'm meeting up with. you." And then he says in the text, he.

goes, "I'm already here, but fine.". I I almost got up. I almost got up. No, stop. Stop. I almost got up. I almost. got up. Oh my god. Fine. Fine. He's. gotten Dude, he's gotten so Carlos, say. it though. He's gotten way too much. lately and he's It's going to his head. I can tell. Is the stars on your face a. fashion statement? Yeah. Okay. Is it It. is for pimples, right? Mhm. Yeah. But. you don't look like you have any. pimples. Are there pimples under there. or is this to look cool? Yeah, there are. pimples. Isn't this This has got to be a.

thing to look cool now, too. Yeah. You. wear them sometimes. I I wear them when. they're bad. When I'm when they're bad. under the skinnies, you know, I had a. deep one when you knew it was going to. be a [ __ ] volcano. Yeah, it was. Pompei, bro. Did it. explode? No, but I for 5 days. I just. kept putting those [ __ ] stickers on. All right, Izzy, what's been going on. with you in your life? Um, it's been. fine. My school just ended like two. months ago. So, what are you doing now? Now it's summer for you. Um, like before. I went here, I was doing nothing. What.

are you going to do here while you're in. LA? not do laundry. Sounds like not. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We're just having fun. We've been going out like almost every. single day. Where are you going? Where. you go out? What is going on? Oh, can I. say something? Okay. The other day, the. other day I go, you guys are going to go. do something. Mhm. And I go, can I go? And they go, "No." Why don't you take. him? We cuz he was making it awkward. I. said, "Oh, we're going to get coffee.". And then he started smiling. He likes. coffee. Do says coffee to me. Hey, do. you want to get coffee? Oh, let's go. Oh.

my god, how fun. Automatic reaction. He's excited. I love coffee. I told him. you can come, but then he was like, he. started laughing and making it weird. No, no. And I was like, maybe that's. weird then. No, no, you made it. No, cuz. when we were there, you weren't even. there. We were waiting for you. We're. like, where's the tobi? I told you I. wasn't going to go because of the the. reaction of you guys. No, then you said. you would go and then you said that if I. see you, I won't even talk to you. Yeah, but that's normal. That's normal. That's. called a joke. Yeah, he's just joking.

around. I'm just joking around. Dude, the fact that you wouldn't bring to. Bobby for coffee kind of breaks my heart. a little bit. It breaks my heart. Makes. me think that your Jules is a little too. her head's gotten a little too above it. Above it. Yeah, she's above it. Yeah, she's graduated. And she's getting like. that too now. She's going to start. soaking up. Oh, she's going to be the. worst. Yeah. Yeah. See, look at that. Yeah. I can already tell your attitude. Even as a kid, you were [ __ ] too much. attitude. Yeah. Yeah. You went through. your phases, huh? Remember you went. through your emo phase? Oh my god. Yeah. Yeah. I'm I'm going to die. every single. time. Yeah. Yeah. I'm going to dye my.

hair and be all sad and cut myself. What. color did you dye your hair? I dyed my. hair pink. That's not too That's not. that bad. Is that you? There you are. Yeah. Yeah, that's me. Yeah. Is that. you? No. Okay. But they all look the. same. Every emo kid looks exactly the. same. Are you through? What phase are. you in now? I don't know. Uh-huh. Chill. Are you chill? I'm chill. Yeah. I know. I know a new word. I know a new word. I. want to learn about what the kids are. saying. She's skippy. Oh. Oh, you're so. scy. Skippidity. Skippy doo da skippity.

day. Why oh why wonderful skip? Very. good. I don't know. Skippy slang. What. does it mean? YouTube videos. A filler. word like uh cool, bad, or dumb. So, it. means everything in. All right. Let me. see if I can use it in a sentence. Yeah. Yo, man. Did you poo poo on your face? This? Yeah. No. No. This isn't poo. This. is just It's just a little bit of. sunscreen. Oh, you're being stupid. You. just say you have to say yes. You have. to yes and it why you don't know improv.

You have to yes and the [ __ ] thing. Dude, why do I have poo on my face? It's. a sketch improving. You could ask me. anything. Are you hungry? I would have. said yes. You said I poop on my because. I was trying to make it foolish. Like. ask me again. Yeah, ask me again. God, man. Sorry. Ask me again. Anyway, do it. again. Hey, man. You got uh No, do the. same thing again. I You got chunky poo. on your peanut poo on your face. I do. Yeah. No, I don't. Do it again. You're.

doing You're doing it again, dude. Give. me a It's anti- comedy when you're doing. it. Do it. All right. All right. Yo, man. What a party. Whoa, whoa, whoa. You. have poo on your face. Yeah, I do. You. have skibbity poo all over your face. Yeah, I'm being skibbid. You're skibing. right now. Yeah. Yeah. Sick, dog. that I. mean we went all that way to get to. there. I know. I just had to foil the. bit. Okay. How do you What does skibity. mean? I have never said that word. But. do you know what it is? You've seen it. on the internet. What's some terms? We.

want to learn terms. What do Filipino. kids say? You can say bang. Boang. What. does bang mean? No, it has to be harder. Boang. What does it mean though? Crazy. You're being right now. You climb that tree too fast. You guys are using it right though. Exactly. Cuz we're smart. It's like. somebody chokes you. Yeah. Yeah. Sounds. like a chicken. Sounds like a nut.

disease. Yeah. Yeah. I'm sorry, sir, but. you have. I go, really? I'm both. Anyway, give us. more terms. What are the Filipino kids saying right. now? Like your like your age is my age? Yeah. Oh, guate. Oh god. Let me guess what. that means. Okay. Stinky feet. No. Let me get No. Um. Oh. Oh, you you're swimming in a bog. Poo on. your face. No. You're swimming in a bog.

Yeah. How come? Whenever I say a. suggestion, you bury me with [ __ ] poo. on the face. I'm sorry. What is going on. with you today? That's our relationship. I know. All right. Go. Yeah. Yeah. I. just threw it out that it wasn't good. what I said, right? But I'm just. guessing. What is it? Say the word. again. Yate. Gatai. Yep. Grandma, did. you make some kayatai? Oh, it's a good. dish. Yeah. Oh, no. That's the thing. Um, no. It sounds good. Really? Yep. Yeah. How come you're walking so slow? Oh, my get hurts. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's pretty good.

What is it? Yeah. It means [ __ ] Oh, actually, we were close. Pretty close. You got on your face. Yeah, I got on my. face. Yeah. Yeah. But it's more like, oh. [ __ ] Like, oh, I just did something. Oh, I stepped I stepped on a nail. Oh, gate. Yeah. Wow. Oh, what's that mean? What does that mean? Just an expression. We're learning. everything. It's new. I like it. Give us. more. Give us more. Also, you like you. like you like uh Sublime? I just noticed. that. Yeah. Do you like them? Uhhuh. You.

know they're playing again. His son is. playing. Yeah. You don't know. You don't. know that. No. She doesn't even know. Do. you know the songs or? Yeah, some. Okay. Give us one. I don't know. Canteria or. something. Sing it. I don't know it. We. don't know it. You have to We don't. know. You have to say I don't know. anything about it. It was before my. time. Way before my time. Yeah. I'm more. into, you know, I mean Bach. Like it's. before your time. You know, you're not. Yo, you're Beetho. Yeah. Deucey Ludvik. Yeah. Yeah. Um Go ahead. There's the. lyrics. There it is. He brought them up. Yeah. Yeah. Um I don't practice.

I ain't got no crystal ball. Well, I had. a million dollar. I'd spend it all. Jules next line. Go. If I could find that Hannah H. Wow. Is. that scho that she's found? Well, I'd. pop a captain in Sancho. And I'd slap. her down. What does her down? What does. Soncho do for you to put a cap in him?

Well, let me tell you something. Soncho. Soncho is her new lover. That's ex's. lover. I don't know. I don't know the. lyrics. Okay. Also, you know what. bothered me about the song Forever? What? Go up there. He says, "I don't practice Santia." Santia is. basically it's card reading, tarot. reading. It's the same thing. I don't. have a crystal ball. Okay, got it. Well, I had a million dollars, right? Uhhuh. But I I'd. spend it all. So he said he had it. Then.

he said if he did have it, he Well, a. santia is 6 point $600,000. Oh, right. Yeah. And a crystal ball, a high-end. one, $400,000. So a million dollar. That's a million. Yeah. Oh, that's what. it is. That all adds up. Yeah. Yeah. If. you want high-end, when I get it, I get. high-end. I get it from Gandalf. Yeah, this one. I get my crystal ball from. Gandalf. No, you get your crystal ball. from uh uh Huh? Andria. Andria. Yeah, Andria. Cuz Andria's right on the show. And at Sant Black Market. Oh, you do? Yeah. Yeah. Oh, wow. Yeah. I'm getting. everything on from a black person. I get.

it on the white market. You do? Yeah. You play retail? I like the white. market. Yeah. I'd prefer the white. market. Can you buy centuras in. Philippines? Yeah. Yeah. Are there palm. tarot readers in the Philippines? Palm. readers. They got real ones. What do you. mean real ones? Like they're legit. We. have real ones here. No. No. I think. they have the legit ones. We have them. too, dude. We have them on Ventura. There's like three of them that No, they. have scarves on their faces. They have. the whole Oh, scary ones. Do Yeah. Filipino. Oh, that looks real. Look at. that. Look at that. Oh my. Look at the. [ __ ] cars above. Black figures like.

that. What does that mean? Uh, one day. you'll be black. No. Jay-Z Jay-Z. And like my aunt did a reading and then. this old lady like she did like read her. palms and then the old lady was like, "Oh, you're being followed by this um. capray who wants to [ __ ] you." What's a. cop? What's a capri? It's like an It's. like a like a gorilla. Carlos is a copay. Is Carlos a copy?

Yeah, he smokes uh Capri smokes a lot. Yeah. Yeah, but they live like in the. trees. Copay. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. If you. weren't in the stage, you'd be copy. first of all. King Copay. So, wait a cap. was following her trying to attack her. It's No. [ __ ] her. Cuz like he's the. Capri is like obsessed with her. That's. what the Wow. And did she ever did the. Capri ever get her? Yeah. I don't think. so. But then the old lady was like, "You. have to get out of town because this is. like Okay. Okay. That is Carla.

That's a cop him. Wow, dude. Oh my god. Oh, dude. Dude, copies are cool, bro. So. rad. Yeah, he's he has an old Oh, there's another one doing karaoke. Oh. no, he's he's blowing up. That's. definitely Carlos. That's Carlos. Look. at his hairline. Yeah, that's a cop. right, dude. Yeah. Wow, dude. That's. 100% Carlos. That cop. Give me more cop. I like that. Oh, right. That's Wow. Yeah, that's a [ __ ] Have you guys.

ever seen a cop around the Philippines? But I I No, but I saw the shadow of one. Oh, I got a shadow of copper. Yeah, it. could have been a monkey, but No. Okay. Okay. Oh, what's the difference between. monkey shadow and copper shadow? Copper. is bigger. They're like huge. Look, it's. the size of a tree. Look at that guy. He's Look at the Look at the second. photo that you brought up. Second one. He's sitting in a tree. I mean, look at. that big naked guy in the tree. Yeah. Yeah. You would be able to spot a copay. Why is he balding? Yeah. Why is the. copay balding? I don't know. Yeah. And.

what is he blowing on? He's smoking. Oh, okay. Okay. Wait, they smoke? They sit. in the trees and they smoke. Wow. I. would do that. This is 100% you. Yeah. Yeah. I would love to do that forever. Can we get that on a shirt? Are there. Are there good copres out there? Like, hey, I know you I'm going to invite a. friend to this party, right? Like, hey, dude, Andrew, I have a friend. Who? Yeah. Who is it? It's a cop. You want. him to come to my house? Yeah. H What is. he bringing? You have trees at your. house? Yeah. My whole front yard is. filled with trees. Yeah, he'll be up. there. Okay. All night. All night long.

Yeah. Yeah. You want to come inside, man? sitting in the trees all the whole. party. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So, this woman. got chased by the copre or it never. happened. Yeah. You would come inside. I. mean, this is insane. Yeah. Look at. that. That's a little Filipino kid with. one. Yeah. Can you train to be a. copyright? I mean, like if I was born in. the Philippines. You were You were. supposed to be born, not trained, to be. a cop. What do you mean? Can I be born. How do I be born to be from another. copy? He's not allowed to dream. Yeah. Yeah. You're taking away his If I was a. regular person, I couldn't dream to be a.

copyright. It's like I want to be a. ninja, too. Why can't I be a ninja? Well, I can't. No, I mean, you'd have to. be big enough. Uh, how big? Oh, give us. the details. How big are cop rays? Tall. dark figure reaching up to 10 feet in. height. That's pretty tall. They look. like Michael Yo, then. Yeah. Okay. They're trickster figures who play. pranks. Oh, but they don't kill. I've. heard they kill. Really? Go down. Go. show more. Let me see if they do kill. Yeah. Yeah. Capreser said appearance. first. Well, appearance says a copres. describe as tall, dark figure, sometimes. reaching up to 10 feet in height.

depicted hairy humanoid with long legs. Coppers are said to dwell in large. trees, uh, bamboo, mangoes, belly trees. They're also seen under these in pass. and forest. Mischievous, playing pranks. on people, make you lose your way in the. forest and then you all your [ __ ]. disappears. Over here. Oh, here. You. love this. They have the power to remain. invisible. Oh, that's why you can't see. them. Children or people with a special. third eye can see them. Oh, wow. They. You have third eyes. I think so. Yeah.

[Music]. I feel like it's something that you. would know. Yeah. I think you'd know by. now. Like a tale. Like you'd know if you. would know if you have a third eye, you'd know. Yeah. Can you really see. aberitions and and ghostly things? Not. right. No, but when I was younger and. when I was living in the Philippines, like like in my old house, I I saw like. an old lady like just floating and I. told my mom that and she was just like, "Oh, that's just nothing.".

Capraor. Capraor. And there's Oh, but you know what? Um, she can also feel if there's anything. around a space and there's nothing in. your house, so that's good. Well, okay. There's nothing in his house. Wait, wait, wait, wait. Jules, you you know. this about your sister. She can feel. what's in her space. No. Like, if. there's anything in the space, any. entity in the space. So, in my house, there's no entity. Mhm. Do you know why? Why? Why? Because my entity is stronger. You seanced it, didn't you? I seanced it.

out. Yeah, it's cool. Yeah. Yeah. Who's. your entity? His name is Dave. You guys don't know him? You don't know. Dave? No, I've never seen him. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He's there. Yeah. He's. better than Copra. I want you to come. over. I want you to come over and see if. something is in my house now. I think. maybe I have an entity. She has it. She. has the ability. Cuz I'm telling you, some nights when I go take the dog out. to piss, I'll walk down the stairs and. the dog and I will be walking, this. happened twice. We'll be walking down. the stairs to go outside and we walk. down the stairs and we get to like the. bottom to turn the corner and she'll.

stop and I'll stop and I'll kind of and. I'll like feel it feels really weird and. the dog will kind of stop and look. inside the front room and then she'll. quietly move back to the door. But I can. feel something is different. It's very. strange. It's happened to me twice now. You know what happened to me, right? What? When I was in Oklahoma City, this. native guy picks me up to because I was. doing that movie and he goes, "My. friend, you you have a spirit following. you?" Yeah. Following you. And I go,

because earlier that day, I saw a lamp. in my hotel room, but I saw something. flash to my right, like a black figure. And I kept seeing I called Kalila, actually. Oh, yeah. You remember? I. called Kalilla and I go, "I literally. think that there's a spirit." And then. he goes, "You you must get Sage." So I. bought Sage. Did it help? No. No. Yeah. Yeah. But he disappeared eventually. Wait, no. So, how did you make it go. away? Because I'm dating a witch. Oh,

that's why I think I'm dating a witch. Because you want all that [ __ ] gone? Yes. Does she sage you? Yeah, she shaged. me out, dude. Shag? Yeah. So, there's. this Reddit story. I forgot exactly how. it went, but basically it was this guy. um he was talking about how he like he. lives a really good life. He has a wife. and kids and stuff, but then he looks at. the lamp on this like the corner of his. room and then it starts to look weird. and then just everything that he knew. just disappears. His family disappeared,

his wife, his kids. It was all like it. was all like It is an illusion. But he. lived through it. He lived through it. like having family, right? Having kids. and Oh, it's it's like the inner light. then. [Laughter]. You have no idea what you're I'm talking. about, but he still pointed he still. pointed at me like he knew he knew what. I was talking about. I was amazing. He.

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is zdock.com/badfriends. Dude, that was insane, dude. Yeah. Yeah. Inner light. Yeah. So, Inner Light is a. Star Trek. Next Generation episode. Do it again. What? You know what it's like? It's like. Inner Light. No idea. So the it's so it's you know um. you know Adam Egan from the comedy. store. Yeah. He hated Star Trek Next.

Generation, right? But I told him to. watch this episode called Inner Light. It's the second to last episode on. season 5. We I feel like you told me. about this. Yeah, I've talked to you. about this episode, but it's much like. this episode. You know what I mean? where Jean Lu Bard lives a complete and. utter full life in 60 years but only. five minutes passed. Wow. Yeah. That's. You know what that's like? That's like a. mushroom trip. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's. happened to me on a mushroom trip. I've. lived like five lives. Oh yeah. If you. ever if you ever want to watch the best.

sci-fi episode of all time, I think. that's the best TV episode of a sci-fi. show. I need to watch it. Yeah. It's. incredible. Where is it on? Is it still. on the internet? Yeah. Can I explain to. you the episode or No, probably not. No. Okay. Okay. No, necessarily one of my passions, but. okay. I'm telling you, man. You the girl. these girls have energy that it's good. Yeah. It's like the room feels different. when they're here. It's good. What does. it feel? I don't know. It feel It feels. like chaotic. Feels chaotic and like.

Yeah. It feels like [ __ ] like jazz. drums. It's like incor. Yes. Did you see it? No. Oh, okay. What? Why'd you see this? What's wrong with you today, dude? Dude, the poo face thing. Now I'm saying yes. to everything. Oh, I see. You want me to. say yes? Oh, yeah. I want you to say. yes. Cheesy. Yeah. Do you see? Jordan is. so hot in that movie. All right. Which. version of them? Not the horny [ __ ]. Both of them. Both of them. I know. I've. heard cuz he plays so twice, right? He's. so hot. Bring up photos of him without a. shirt on. His arm. Michael B. Jordan is jacked. He's so.

such a good-look guy. It's unbelievable. Yeah. Wow. It's crazy. Whoa, dude. Jesus. Christ. That one's inappropriate. That's. inappropriate, dude. Oh my god. Imagine. Imagine this is Jules once says. chocolate guy. Yeah. She's looking for. chocolate. Have you had chocolate? No. Yeah. Yeah. Would you do this? Would you. do this chocolate? She said last time. Yeah. Yeah. How many chocolates did you. do? How many bars? A lot. Yeah. A lot. Okay. Rudy, now you're single. You can.

go date chocolate if you want. I I think. she's I honestly, can I be honest with. you? Okay, go. I don't think that that's. that's an interest to you. Dating? Yeah. Like right now? Any time, I guess. Yeah, you you dated for a long. time, right? Yeah. I just want to rest. But it's like I can't I just want to. rest. Like you were jogging. Like she. was jogging. Yeah. That's I was 23 when. I started standup. Her age. It's. unbelievable. Same thing. And when I. look at her, I go I was that young.

It's crazy, man. Isn't it crazy? It's. [ __ ] crazy. I was that young. Yeah. I. was 22, 23 when I started. Yeah. Oh, we. got some submissions. Oh, so we got BBC. submissions. BBC Big Black, huh? Okay. And so what? So we got BBC submissions. to date Rudy. So who's this first guy? Yeah. Let's see the first guy. Let's see. the first submission here. Uh this guy. is Sean Harris. Yeah, he's 28. 28. He's. an Aries. What's up, Sean? Credit score. 720. That's good. Business credit 84.

Not bad. He's 6 feet tall. He's got a. Honda Civic. Working on it. He's an. artist consultant. Lives in. Pennsylvania. travels to New York a lot. for work. That's neither of those places. are here. And Rudy, you're gorgeous. Follow my IG. Uh to the bad friends. Love y'all. Keep it up. Okay. So, let's. see. First photo. This guy. Okay. All. right. Well, he's he's out there. He's. smoking weed, maybe. Yeah. Yeah. All. right. Weed. Not Oh, he wraps. Oh, he's. handsome. How do you know from what the. microphone covering his whole face?

Yeah. But I from I am good. What about. this? Cute. Yeah. Yeah. Smoking again. and smoke it again. Better with a. microphone on, huh? Yeah. So, this is. his Instagram. This is actually one of. his uh this is on one of his songs. Oh, here we go. Damn, Jay. I see you. I'm. No, he smokes too much for me. I think. he smokes too much. Let's get a. different contestant. But we do like. him. He You like him a lot. Very. talented. You know what my my problem. with that guy is? Who cool? Oh, too.

cool. Way too cool. Okay, Rudy's BBC. Dream. Next up is Hey, fam. Not sure how. to do this. My credit is 653 and my dick. passed my belly button soft. I love One. Piece. Tell her what up. Okay. All. right. Any photos? No. Oh, there he is. Yeah. No. What? How old is he? He's 52. I can't tell. Oh, he loves horses. He. has a kid. Yeah, he's got Why'd you see. the horse first? [Music].

I just don't see a lot of black people. on horses. Do you? I mean, let's time out. Do you. see? Wait, dude. Let me think about it. first. Okay, just think about it. I've. never seen a black guy on a horse. I've. never seen a black guy skydiving or. drink coffee. Or drink coffee. What? What? Wow. Okay, next up. We like. him though. This is for the girl BBC. request. Haha. Her chocolate love. Tell. her follow me on Insta. Yep. Here we go. Chocolate love. Can I Can I ask. something real fast? Yeah. They all put. their credit score in there. Did we ask. for that? I think you did ask for. Yeah.

Yeah. You're being you're being. protective. Well, I Well, first of all, first of all, yeah, Bobby, my friend, you guys are laughing at me. My friend. said I'm being protective. I want to. make sure they have a bright future and. so Jules can be taken care of. Exactly. Specific. I said what? Yes, but that and. the car. That's why they Well, I want to. know do do Okay. Does Jules want to date. someone who's making less than 5,000. pesos a day? No. No. This is my case. Exactly. There he is at a mall by a.

fountain. Bro, you walk into the West Co. West Kavina Mall and you see that guy. sitting on that fountain. Dude, what. would you do? Run away. No, you. wouldn't, dude. You're like, "Let's get. an acai bowl together or whatever." Go. back to the mall photo real fast. I got. to tell you the truth. Look at those. lips. Nice lips. Nice lips. Big lips. I'm telling you, my my guess is he he is. on break at the kiosk he works at and. took that photo. That's a guess. What. kiosk is it? They probably Wait, wait. Look at me.

right now, dude. No. Well, yes. Yes. What kiosk is it? I think they fix. iPhones. Okay. Good. Good. Mhm. He likes. tattoos, though. I just feel like he. loves himself, too. Oh, I see. Tattoos. on the face. Do you like tattoos on the. face? You do? Wow. Yeah. All right. Okay. But I feel like the the title. alone was just like, oh, BBC request. Haha. Yeah. Yeah. You don't like that. haha. You don't like the haha part. I. understand. You know what? And he's half. naked in a parking lot. Yeah, you as a.

sister, you wouldn't approve. I wouldn't. approve. I get that. Moving on. I get. that. And very smart to say. The haha. does throw you. Chance to meet Rudy. Hey. guys, he's white. Yeah, but can we can. we mix it? Can we mix it up a little. bit? You can't have BBC and be He might. have a big black day. I don't know. I. may not have a BBC. All right. All. right. All right. Being white and all, but I'm 32. I think Rudy would have fun. with me. My credit score is in the 700s. I drive a Lexus ES 350 and I have a. cruiser motorcycle. Let me stop you.

right there, pal. We're not letting our. kid get on motorcycles. I mean, look at. the photo. He What if he has a WBC? Let. me see. A white black hawk. Let's see. Let's see if it has a white black. Yeah. Yeah. Zoom in. Oh my god. James Dean, dude. Screenshot. of it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. A. screenshot next. Give me next photo. Oh, so you're interested. Nice, man. Uhhuh. Hello. Happy Thanksgiving. Right. You can imagine him saying that. By the way, that definitely is a. Thanksgiving photo. Yeah. Yeah. There is.

the cruiser motorcycle. All right. We're going to unfortunately. pass. We're going to pass on that. Going to pass for Rudy's love. This next. guy is uh 2561 black guy. I love how he. just rode. I'm 2561 black guy. 690. credit score with a 2016 Mustang GT. Uh. he's in North Carolina. He's in school. to be a doctor. A doctor. Wait for it. In physical. therapy. All right. So it's not it's a. doctor. What do you think it's leaning. toward? Doctor or physical therapy? It's. physical therapy. Is this him? My man.

My man. I need PT. So maybe we can hook. this up. He's a child of God. That is. good to know. That's really good. There. he is. There he is on Main Street. Just. doing his thing. He's doing his thing. This guy, dude. Dude, that Go to the. slide before. It was literally just like. seconds before. Go one more. It was just. like This is like all the same day. Zoom. in. Zoom in. What do you think he's doing there, bro? It's just it's it's like this is like. moments later he took these photos.

People my age post stuff like this. Like. seconds later, you took the same photo. Go back to that photo. The first one. It's like a slide of time. It's a. chronological. What is he looking for on the ground. there? You tell me, bud. No, no, bud. I'm. throwing it. I'm making it up to you. No, what he's looking for on the ground. You tell me. No, you tell me, my friend. You tell me. No. Um, he he dropped his. keys. Oh, he did? Yeah. Yeah. Is that. what's down there? I don't know. But do. we like this guy? He's okay. But all his. pictures is like of his back. He likes.

his back. He has a great back, dude. Kid's got a good back. Look at that. And. he always has scripture on his back. Yeah. I have a guy who dresses I mean I. have a classmate who dresses like this. What do you mean you have a guy? What. did you mean by that? I have a guy. classmate who dresses like that. This. guy loves words on a shirt. And this. guy, what does he What kind of shirts. does he wear? your guide classmate. The. ones with the words on your back. What. does it the word say, Issa? I don't. know. I forgot. I don't look at this guy. all the time. Okay. I got to tell you. though, I like this guy. That last shirt.

he just had. I really liked. What's the. last? It's your person behind me. The. world is a better place with you in it. A I like that kind of stuff. We like. that kind of stuff. That means his heart. is good. Yeah. You know, but you don't. like him, do you? I'm not vibing. Okay, move on. No vibe. All right. I'm from. Canada. I was just there. Maybe maybe I. can get a date with Rudy. He's in. Edmonton, Alberta. Okay. I'd rather date the dog.

I'd rather date the dog. So, what the [ __ ] is that? That's Josh. He's. half black. Half black. Half native. Find and go up. Whoa. That's the guy, dude. Wow. Look at him. Look at Oh my. god. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a. minute. Wait a wait a minute. Wait a. minute. Wait a minute. Does he do. standup? Is that what that is? I Well,

it also did He can't memorize his jokes. He's reading it off his phone. Wait, go. down to the next one. Yeah, that's it. Okay. Where's his Instagram? He didn't. leave it. Oh my god. [ __ ] Rudy. This. might uh We might have to put the brakes. on that. Yeah, we might have to put the. brakes on that. Yeah, he's a long face. He's a long Yeah, quite a long face. Yeah, quite a long face. Anything else? Nothing. Well, we have other. applications. Yeah, please. More, please. This is Gary Nelson. Okay, first of all, that's not a black guy. Gary, find out. I bet I bet he is. Find out if Jules.

would be up for two BWC. Big white [ __ ] Yeah, that's a white. guy. Yeah. Okay, let's look. Send a. video. You said to Gary. Haha. Here you. go, bud. This is like a video of him. jerking off. It [ __ ] better not be. It better not be or I'll get angry. Hey, Bad Friends family. The reason I. think I'd be a good match for Rudy is. I'm obsessed with One Piece. I love how. gross she is. I I love how she doesn't have a filter.

We're both on the spectrum, most likely. I have a fat dog. A and a fat cat over. there eating some food. And I've got a. big white dick. Hold on. I I We're the parents. Yeah, that's first of all, I'm all in. First. of all, I'm all in as a parent. I only have one. big fear. What? What? Go back to it and. don't play it. Just Oh, yeah. Okay. Push. pause. Pause. Now, now like scan to when.

he scans the room. Okay. Ready? Yeah. Let's look at the background. Okay. Okay. Up when he goes back up again. there. Stop. Stop. Okay. What is going. on back there? This is a basement. Dude, you're right. And that is scary to. me. And let me say something. Who lives. above? Parents. Parents. Mom and dad. Yeah. Mom and dad. Now, the only thing. that would give that away is not a. basement in a weird turn of events is. that is a doggy door. It'd be weird to. have a doggy door in the basement. But I will say for the cat. What? It's.

for the cat. He can run. You know what? I I I don't think it is a basement. Yeah. I don't know what he said, but I'm. a cat and dog, too. Sorry about that, girl. No, that was. understandable. Thank you. Thank you so. much. You're a regular. You're a. regular. You're a regular on this. You.

said that was understandable. Cuz you. were like, "Oh, that's a doggy door.". And he was like, "Oh, it's for cats, right?" Oh, exactly, dude. You get it in. the Philippines. You You understand? Broke my head. Down too hard. Okay. Let me tell you. something. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Here. we go. Cut it out. Cut it out. Cut it. the [ __ ] out. Yeah. We're trying to do. an investigation here. For Rudy's sake, cat. Why don't you say squirrel? Yeah. That's a hamster door. Yeah. Hamster d. Come on, guy. Look at all the [ __ ].

species. So, tell me, is this guy of. interest? I like that he has a cat and a. dog. And a fat dog. Fat dog is cool. Fat. dick. Fat dick. Fat dick, too. Okay. All. right. Sweetheart. Sweetheart. Oh, sorry. Sorry. Okay. Sorry, honey. Okay, baby. My mom. What? Huh? My mom. I am. She is. Hello. That's so obvious. He's. your mom. Go to the next applicant, please. Well, we'll put him on hold. Okay. Who's this next guy coming over? He has He doesn't even He didn't even. say anything. So, um, we're going to. meet Zach. Oh, I'd love honey. Sweetheart. We're going to meet Zack.

All right. I hope Jules picks right. Oh. my god. Oh my god. Pause. What? What are. we in Gaza? Why can't I say that? He can. He can. All right, here we go. Don't judge me. My I I watched your shows in the shower. I don't touch myself to He's naked. Yeah. To Bobby in the shower. I just. watch your shows in the shower. Anyways, uh Rudy. Yeah. 100%. 100%. Yo, honestly, we want her on the BBC side. I've talked.

to a few of the BBC community members. English. We were thinking like Rudy. Jules, like she'd be great part of the. community. Um, let's let's just let's. just exclude Bobby from this. conversation for just a second. You. wait. Stop push push pause. Hey guy, what's your obsession with me? She mentioned you three times. I know. there's some sexual tension between me. I think he wants you. Yeah. I don't. think it's about you. I think it's about. me. Yeah. And no thank you, dude. I. think you should get with him. He's.

really funny. And I like how he's like. kind of nervous to talk about my sister. You think he's funny? Yeah, he's kind of. funny. He's trying to be funny. No, he's. funny. God, the humor. No. Yeah. The. level of humor in the youth. All right, let's go to the next guy. Next one, please. I don't think we can. have you get that guy. Zack. Hi, Zack. We liked him though. Zack, we love you, Zack. We love you, Zach. You're a. handsome Z. This guy has a 2022 Chevy. Camaro. He put that in the subject line. Hope Rudy likes my car. If not, uh, please show it on the next episode. Oh,

his photo is going to be bad. I think. it's a video, I think. Yeah. Jamal, I hate car guys. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Already. Oh, another back. Okay. Oh, he you can do that. He can do a. figure eight on the freeway. Wow. Yeah. Yeah. That's pretty cool. I. know you want a BBC on the next best. thing. Big brown weenie. Ah, a BBW. Big brown weenie. I'm trying to fall in. love with Rudy. I'm 26 years old and I.

live in East LA. Okay, this one's. finally in Los Angeles. Oh, dude. Whoa, honey. I really like him. You like him? Yeah. He's spicy. He's spicy. What? Zoom. in. to his face. He's flicking off the. camera. Oh, no. I don't know. His. attitude's attitude a little aggressive. Yeah. Is there another photo? He sent a. video, but it's just like him at a. party. Let's see. We We love to see. party people party. Love to see parties. I'm going to see how he parties. You.

like to see him party, sweetheart? Yeah. If he parties hard. There he is. Oh. [ __ ] That's like an anime party. He's. got good friends. Good friend. Look at. him. I actually think this is a smart move. He's showing you that he has fun people. around him. A girl is sitting on a. fridge. I think this is actually very. intelligent. Let me see the girl in the. fridge. It's a girl on a counter. Counter. Yeah. Look at her. Yeah, he's. so scared. Oh, she's so cute. Okay, that. guy. Look at the Groucho. Groucho's at.

the party. from Sesame Street. Everybody's here. Everyone's here. Bernie or Ernie? Everybody. Look at this guy. A young uh. what's his name? How come there wasn't a. Mexican character on Sesame Street? Groucho. Who the [ __ ] is Oscar? Oscar. I mean, I. mean Oscar. Hey, Groucho. Yeah, Oscar. I mean, yeah. Oscar. So. who's Groucho? Who's Groucho? Groucho. Marks. Marks. Groucho. Marks. Marks. brothers. Yeah. Okay. Wait a minute.

Oscar wasn't Latin. He wasn't. Okay. Think about play Oscar and let's just. close your eyes and see what he is. Just close your eyes. Okay. Visually. Visually, what is he? Mexican. Why do you say that? You Spanish. oppressor. Why do you say that? You. oppressor. It just has good style. Okay, nice try, pig. Yeah, nice [ __ ] Let's. do a video so I can hear what he sounds. like. I forgot what he sounds like.

This over with. Okay. Well, Oscar, thank. you for coming to the LA Times to answer. our very important questions. You're not. welcome. Okay. I already know. H a. fentanyl white. Uh Fenty White. Yeah. Yeah. Fenty White, right? A Fenty White. You know, what do you think he is, girls? I don't even know. Yeah. Yeah. White. Yeah. Okay. Play it right there. Yeah. Go ahead. Years that I'm quite fond of.

But uh a Grouch's motto is your next. piece of trash could be your best piece. of trash. He's an oldtimey hobo. Yeah. He's old timey guy. Yeah. Old timey. hobo. Old white guy. Yeah. He hops on a. train. A box car train. Heck. Exactly. With with a thing. Is a leg missing for. some reason. He wasn't even in a war. Is. that the last BBC? Uh I think we have. one more. Let's see it. Aaron Taylor, Anaheim 6'2. Wow. He says full sack. What does that mean? Full sack. He's.

He's I think he's he's got a full sack. Yeah, it's filled with other things. Credit score 580. Not great. Not great. 2001 Jeep Grand Cherokee. He met Bob. Bobby Lee in a 7-Eleven. Okay. That's. where I meet my black eyes. That's. 7-Eleven. Yeah. Every time. There he is. with his mom. Oh, great. He's cute. He's. so cute. Oh. Whoa. Like we're surprised he can do that. I would expect that. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, he.

loves sunsets. That one, honey. That's. great. He loves sunsets. How old is he? He looks like This one's. from 5 years ago. So, Oh, right. It's. It's okay. Give me another one. Uh, that's it. But we do He uh he left some. of his music in here. He They all leave. their music. And I'm like in the ocean. like Avatar style. I'm swimming with the. Yikes. There's a mermaid. No, that's not. Oh, it's my lover. Hey. Hey. It's my.

lover. Uh uh. I'm blue in the ocean. Flying through the ocean. I'm blue. Factor. Summer is here. I'm a summer. boy. More sun, more light, more time to. do all the things that make summer so. special. And the number one thing that. you don't want to be doing all summer, spending hours cooking inside. Bobby and. I hate cooking inside. We want to be on.

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You know what? Um my dad used to beat. me. I know that I had a lot of trauma. growing up and I I went to the best. place to get therapy which is Talkspace. Yeah. Um it's really good. Um it can be. challenging to find and meet with a. therapist that's not the right fit. Can. you agree with that? Yeah. Talkspace, the leading virtual therapy provider, makes getting the help you need easy, accessible, and affordable. Talkspace. therapy and psychiatry are covered by. many insurance plans and employers, including Triricare for active duty. veterans and their dependents. Most.

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with licensed therapist today, go to. talkspace.com/badfriends and enter the. promo code space 80. That's what I came up with. I'm blue. And that's it. By the way, I [ __ ] I. love that beat. He's my number one. Me, too. I think he's my number one. We go. on a date with him. Yeah. All right. Aaron, we'll set it up. The funniest. part is he had the worst credit score in. the oldest car, but the beat's so good. We love him. Yeah. Yeah. And it looks. cute. The picture like every girl. Yeah.

Well, he's with his mom and I don't know. who the other lady was. But the mom is. key. But they were happy. Yeah. Yep. They were really happy. And that's all. that matters. That's all that matters. Are you happy? I'm happy. Are you happy? I think he looks Okay, good. Yeah. Just. diverts the question. You think he looks. what? I think he looks a lot like um. Kendrick Lamar. My brother. Okay. He. looks like your brother. What? Yeah. You. don't see it? No. No. Really? No. I'm. just saying he just looks a lot like our. brother. Yeah, but don't say that. He.

reminds me of my brother. Okay. Okay. Anyway, he doesn't follow the Bad. Friends account, so we can't call him. But if he wants to call Oh, that's nice, too, that he doesn't follow. And he's. not a fan. You don't want. What are you trying to do here? You're. She She's a wedge. She doesn't want it. to happen. Do you see that? Swimming in. the ocean. I'm blue. Swimming in the ocean. I'm blue. I'm. Avatar. Swimming in the ocean. I'm blue. Blue. Swimming toward my lover. I like it. I.

like it. Nothing. But nothing. No. Swimming toward my lover. I do. I. do. Okay. We like them. We like him a lot. Too bad. we can't call you. We can't call you, guy. So, I I feel like you're a wedge. I. I feel like you're being more picky than. her. Well, yeah. Why? Why? Because I'm. the sister. Yeah, but what do you give a. [ __ ] Yeah. What? You don't even live. here? Yeah. No, but I call her all the.

time. Yeah. How long? So, when you're in. the Philippines, how many days a week do. you guys call? I mean, I never call like. months will go by. Yeah. It's just. texting. Just text. But you text every. day? No. Like once a week? No. No. Once. a month? Yeah. Yeah. That's interesting. about siblings. Like how how often do. you talk to your brother? Like once a. month. I call my sister today. I do think I try. we've connected more as our parents have. gotten older. Yeah, that that is a big. piece of it. Yeah. Yeah. Because I used. to hate Issa. You used to hate her. Why?

I just like I was just annoyed at her. Like I would just beat her up and just. and Can you beat her up any You can't. beat her up anymore. Not anymore. Cuz. you're stronger than her, aren't you? I. I I want to see you guys fight so bad. So, do you have a high school love when. you're you're in high school still, right? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You have a. senior next year? No, I'm a junior next. year at 17. No, cuz I had to repeat a. grade. Why? Which one? I had to repeat. seventh grade. Why? Because.

D. I wasn't. I don't. Hey. Yeah, you're being mean. I am. You're being mean. All right. I'm so. sorry. I'm sorry. I was just if you. could finish it. Say sorry. Can you. finish it? AB. Okay. No, I have to say. sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Isa. You. were depressed. I was really depressed. You was going your emo stage? Yeah. Yeah, I feel you. So, you never went to. school? Yeah. Well, I stopped for a.

year. Yeah, I went to school for like. half of the school year and my school. was like they were doing it was mental. month, mental health month, and then we. were doing this um this forum thing and. I was like, "Oh, I'm going to answer it. properly." So, I answered it properly. and then they called my parents and said. what? like, "Oh, you need to get your. you need to get your daughter out of. school." Oh, because it was that bad. What were you I mean, sometimes we talk. about serious things. I was just. wondering like I mean, are you through.

all that hardship and that? Okay. What. happened? Did you go to therapy? I mean, what happened? Yeah, I went to therapy. Yeah. Yeah. And I was on. anti-depressants. Which one? I don't. know. I forgot. But I forgot that. I. mean, I remember that it was a lot. I. was on it. I took them for a while. You. did? Yeah. Yeah. I f I hated it cuz your. parents are, you know, I know your. mother well. Your father's a lawyer. A judge. A judge. Oh. Oh, [ __ ] Huge. difference. He was a lawyer when I met.

him. No. Yeah, he I didn't know he. upgraded to a judge. He's a judge now. That's amazing. Wow. So, your father's a. judge and you just have good jeans. Mhm. You mean cuz your your honey is your. mother is hilarious. She's crazy and. crazy and fun. We love her. We love her. And I love your daddy. He's very stoic, you know. So, you have good, you know, family, right? You have a beautiful. sister and two brothers. And you have a. dog at home? I have a lot of dogs at. home. How many? I have six. No, seven.

Seven dogs. Holy [ __ ] That's a lot. Any. of them fat? Yeah. Yeah. Do you know Do. you know those dogs or No, I grew up. with two of the uh three of the dogs, but then when I left, I they got more. It's too many dogs. It's way too many. I. mean, it's too many dogs. What's the max. dog? Three in America. Yeah. The must. most pets you can have, I think, is. three or four in California. Well, no, no, no. Three is number of dogs. Four is.

number of combo pet to me. You can have as many as you want. I. don't think so. Really? Yeah. Los. Angeles County legal limit for dog. household is four. Yeah. All right. But. that's but that's what I'm saying. But. to me, three is the most dogs you should. have. And if you have a cat, that's it. Four, you're done. Four animals and. you're done. We have five. I'm going to. call the cops. Yeah. The legal limit for. the number of dogs you hold in this. household in Chicago is five. Illinois.

is fine. Wow. Good. Way to go, Chicago. Let me ask you ladies something real. quick just about our house. You know, how long does cat vomit need to sit. before you clean it? Oh my. Yeah. What's. the timeline? Yeah. What's the timeline? cuz you know you've been doing three or. four days now and you are you waiting. for it to harden or what? Have you seen. the house? It's clean. We cleaned it. last night. Is that how you talk to. Exactly. That's exactly what it is. That's insane. Yeah. I don't charge. rent. All right. I provide them whatever. they [ __ ] want. Right. And that's the. way they talk to me. Dude, I'm just. saying why are you complaining? There's.

no there's no mess. Okay. But I'm just. saying that for two days there was c. vomit by my bedroom door. How? How? What? You could you can't clean it. Oh, here we go. I I I know. It's It's gotten so out of. control. It's It's bad. It's really bad. It's so bad, dude. Because Aren't they. your cats, too? Dad, I'm so angry. I can't control.

myself. Oh my god. So, um, you know, I don't want to get rageful. right now. And I do. I want you to You. really do because pushing all your. buttons. All right. All right. So, okay. Here we go. All right. So, number. one, right? When you were in high. school, right? Okay. All right. How long. did you live in my house? Like 3 years. Yeah. Did you pay any rent? No. Okay. Yeah. That's big. That's huge. Yeah.

Yeah. Whenever we go out and eat, right, do I pay every meal? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Have you ever picked up a tab? No. Yeah. Did I invite you to be a part of the one. of the biggest podcasts on planet Earth? That's right. Uh I think Andrew did. That makes Yeah. Yeah, I did. But that. being said, you're my partner, so we did. together. All right. So all right. How is this. relevant though? Wow. Wow. You know, I.

mean, I'm just asking, right? I'm just. asking, can you please talking about. cats and their vomit? Yeah. Yeah. Can. you please when you see that? You know. what I mean? Because you know I've been. so generous and open, right? Then maybe. clean it fast. I do clean it. But you. let it dry for 2 weeks. Yeah, cuz you. have to let it dry because I don't want. to get it when it's wet. It's gross. So. how often do cats throw up? A lot. You're our cats throw up a lot. A lot. Why is that? I overfeed them. Right. Okay. So it's mainly your fault. So.

what? What? What? Giggly, what's I think I. think you need to start from where the. problem is. Where's the problem? You. overfeed the cats. Heavy. So many buttons. You guys are Yeah. Yeah. What? What are you talking about? No, I want to say something. Okay. And. yes, I you know Gobi and Julio, they're.

getting fat. Why? Because of you. Wow. Yeah. Yeah. Why? You feed them a whole. chicken. I know. From Zenku. No, not. from Zenku. What is it? From Kismmet. Rotary Chicken. Oh, Kisman rotisser. Rotissery. Oh, delicious. One of the. best, right? Yeah, it's delicious. I get. I buy them a whole chicken. Yeah, sure. And I feed it to them. Doesn't that. makes sense? I'm the bad guy. But then. at said you can't feed them that. Yeah. We're co-owners, right? Why does her Why does she trump.

what I have to [ __ ] what I do? Yeah. I'm so mad I can't even talk, dude. All. right. Why? How come? It's 50/50, right? Yeah. Because it's ethical lie. Yeah. It's what? What? She's the emperor. Yeah. No, she's not. I'm the king. They. both said yes at the same time. Do you. not respect him at all as the king? We. He's not the king. Wow, dude. Wow, dude. What are you talking about? Africa is. like the king and you're like I'm like.

what? She's the king. Yeah. I Okay. So, what am I in Games of Throne? You saw. Games of Thrones, right? Game of. Thrones. No, it's called Games of. Thrones here on Bad Friends. It's Games. of Thrones. All right. You saw Game of. Thrones, right? Who am I in Games of. Thrones? You're like, who's that? Um the. Cersi's um son. Oh, yeah. Joffrey. Joffrey. I'm Joffrey. I'll talk. But. then it's no bite. All bite. Yeah. No. bite. No bite. Do you think that's. Bobby? That's me. The evil one. Okay.

And who's Kalila then in it? I guess. Cersei. She's Cersei. You're right. She's evil as well. Probably worse. significantly. You know what I am dude. in that world? Jon Snow. Yeah. Jon Snow. Oh, you're Jon Snow. I'm. Tyrion Lannister. There it is. Yeah. Yeah. The little guy. That makes sense. Really good advice. Yeah. I'm the hand. Wise. Smart. helpful. Yeah. And and by. the way, hot. Tyrion Lannister. Yeah. You think Wait, you think Peter Dinglish is hot? Yeah.

Would you? Yes. Yeah. You would date. Peter Dinglage? No. Who is that? That's. That's Andreas for sure. No, that's. Bobby. You think that's Bobby? Yeah, that's Andreas for sure. You know, right? You're trying to put that up. You. You're trying to say that's him. They. say it. No, no, no. You. I just Dude, I. [Laughter]. Oh my god. Yeah. That's not That's you, dude. And then um you know who Carlos. is? Ramsey Bolton. Oh yeah. Yeah. You're.

Ramsey Bolton. Oh. Oh yeah. Yeah. The. crack addict. Mhm. Ramsay. You are. Who's Mone? Oh, I know. Already know where he is cuz I rewatched. the series. Who is I went from one to. eight again. You did? Yeah. Who is he? He's [ __ ] the the baker. Oh, the fat. the fat baker kid. Yeah. Yeah. just not. like an NPC, not really in the show, you. know what I mean? That that's you, dude. Like, what's his name? You know, he has. night terrors. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

So, that's you, um, Mone. Yeah. Let's. hear. Can you do an English accent? What should I say? Pretty good, dude. But be a baker. Yeah. Yeah. We're Okay, we're at a bakery. Bobby, you're back. again. Okay. We're at a bakery. We're. That's pretty good. We're at a bakery. We're at a bakery. Ding ding ding. Hello, sir. Oh, hello. What do you have. fresh? We've got some fresh buns right. here for you. What kind of buns? Grain. Grain buns.

Honey, they have grain buns. I don't. like this guy's grain buns. The grain. buns are [ __ ] disgusting. They have. terrible. Yeah. What else have you got? Yeah. What else do you got? We got a croissant. Oh, we love France. [ __ ] Show us. the croissant. I only have grain bones. I know. I was lying. Our our English. kids, Ari, what what does our English. kids want? Hello. What do you two want. to eat? Yeah. What do you want? Order. from the man. Order from the man. Go on. Uh,

I don't want them grain buns. Well, you. her accent is there. And our other. daughter who's, you know, a little. eccentric, you know what I mean? And, um, got the. tism. You want grain buns or not? Yeah. Do you want grain buns or not? Do you. guys have an English muffin? She's. our oldest one is. she went to boarding school. Sorry, lads. Yeah. Yeah. In All right. Outside. with you. Outside. Way outside. Yeah.

Excuse us. So funny. So funny. That's. actually pretty good. Yours was actually. really very good. Yeah. Why didn't you. try? I can't do accents. Yeah. Yeah, you. can. You've done them on the show. You've done it on the show before. Maybe. you should come to London with us. You. don't want to. You need a visa, too. Okay. Oh, okay. No. Rain on the [ __ ]. parade. Rain on the parade, dude. Yeah. Jesus Christ. Just trying to have a good. Pretty good English accent, M. Thank. you. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Not bad. Have you. heard Carlos do it? He's pretty good, right? Powers. Yeah. Oh, shagadelic,

baby. I hate it so much. Andreas, you do one. I couldn't even do an American one. Let's hear an American accent. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. What's up, man? Welcome to the Trump store. Say, "Hey, welcome to the Trump store." Say that. Hey, welcome to the fire. Say it again. Hey, what store is this? What store is. this? Oh, welcome to the Trump store. What? Dude, welcome to the Trump store. This is the only job you could get. You.

realize that, right? Yeah. Yeah. Be. careful because this is the only [ __ ]. job you're going to have in town. Honey, honey, what a beautiful store. I love. this store. I You know what? I've always. wanted a a Trump poncho. Well, let's get. you one. Excuse me, sir. Yep. What up? Yes. Do you have Trump ponchos? You have. ponchos here? That's all we have. What? All we have ponchos. Are you You don't. sound like you're from here. Are you. from here? Where were you born, man? Louisiana.

What part? Vouch. What? She He said Vatoo. Vatau? Yeah. Where's Vatau in Louisiana? Is that New New Orleans? Yeah. Where is. that? Where is it? Close to New Orleans. Close all sir. You're fired. You're. fired, dude. Get this guy out. Yeah. Call Ice. Call Ice. Call Ice now. Yeah. Yeah. You do realize that you literally. could work no other job besides with us. Like this is the only one. Can you.

imagine without us? Where would he be? I. don't know. You know where I tried to go. last night? Tell me. I waited in line. and we couldn't get in. What? Jumbos. What? Clown room. I haven't been in so. many years. Who'd you go with? Well, I. we didn't go. We never got in. We walked. in line. Wow. My buddy, you know, Sean. Malto. Yeah. Maltto and I were going to. go with our ladies and uh my cousin and. nothing. We w we walked It used to be. you could walk in pull-up jumbo. It's. one of my favorite. You used to be able. to walk in. There was a huge line. It. sucked. And so we left. This place is. the best. It's the best. I went I.

googled I I've been watching a lot of. Sean videos. Maltto. Yeah. Yeah. He's so. talented. No, we love him. Yeah. Yeah. He's the man. David Lynch claimed he. wrote Moleholland Drive at uh Jumbos. Shut the [ __ ] up. That's amazing. Is. that a real story? He wrote Moleholland. Drive at Jumbos. Oh, Blue Velvet. reportedly wrote the screenplay for Blue. Velvet at Jumbo's Clown Room. Better. movie, I thought. Even better. Yeah, Blue Velvet's so good. I know. But I. love Mullhalland Drive. Me, too. Such a. good movie. But Dennis Hopper and Blue.

Velvet. What a creep. It's a great. movie. I'm just saying when he said I. love You guys like David Lynch? I don't. know. They have no idea who that is. Yeah. Yeah. You never heard of David. Lynch? How could the How How could she? I I I don't want to get in this. argument. How could she know? I I I just. don't want to get into this. She's. wearing a shirt of a band she doesn't. even know. I I think she knows. I I. know. Actually, she did know Santia. He. did know Santia. Yeah. He was a very um. Well, it's a one-of-a-kind director. When you watch a David Lynch movie, you. immediately you know it's him. What are.

his like popular movies? Blue Velvet. Um. Elephant Man that Gen Z would know. That's the problem. That's the problem. now. Well, well, they would know Twin. Peaks because Twin Peaks they remade. into a show. Yeah. You guys know Twin Pe. Twin Peaks? Laura Palmer. There's a new. show. When was the new Twin Peaks out? 17. Yeah. It's not that long ago. You. know that alien baby I have in the. living room? I don't know if you've seen. them. That's from Eras Your Head. Oh, yeah. I'm a very big fan. You guys. wouldn't know any of this stuff. Yeah. How? Yeah. But he's and the Cohen.

brothers. You don't know. Cohen. No. Wow. It's crazy. Well, when do you mean. what? Well, it's like who's they have. their They're not film fans. Well, their. generation has what they were watching. the other day. Oh my god, it's driving. me crazy. Yeah. Yeah. They don't know. this, right? But they're watching some. sort of like overcompensating. Yeah. What is that? Is that TV? Some Gen Z. story. Yeah. And they were laughing. It's a movie or TV show? Yeah. TV show. But we were watching um an episode with. Bowen Yang. Yeah. And his um podcast. host and Tito Bobby got so got so mad.

No, I didn't. I get that. That's insane. That's insane. I love I'm a big bone. I. bet you got mad. Okay, that would be. Wait, hold on. Hold on. Let me see the. Let me see the show. What is the show. about? It's about this um gay guy who. No, that's too controversial for me. Wait a. minute. Yeah. Yeah. A new Gen Z show. about a gay guy. Yeah. Yeah. Huh. And. where is it on? Prime. Amazon Prime. Amazon. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's so funny. It's a good show. So, it's about a gay. guy. Yeah. But he's still in the closet.

and he's just trying to figure out he's. already in college. And he's like trying. to figure out how to Yeah. Yeah. And. it's so fun. What are you concerned. about, honey? You should watch it, honey. What are you with these kids. today? This once again, this is. Hollywood pushing a gay narrative. Yeah, man. To the world, dude. Making. everybody gay, dude. Is that Is that guy gay? Yeah. Is that. guy gay? Is that dude gay? Yeah. So, it's about him coming out. Mhm. Does.

he ever come out? He does. Yeah, in the. first season. Mhm. Really blowing their. load there, huh? Jumping the shark. It's. a big show though. Big popular show. People must love it, I bet. Yeah, they. must love it. Yeah. I think I think you. and I think Andrew I think we're out of. touch. No, I wouldn't say Yeah, I think. we are. I wouldn't say we're out of. touch. I'd say we are. We're stuck in. the past. I feel like Andrew is more. open though than you. He's. What do you mean?

Cuz you got so mad. You told us never to. mention Bo and Yang ever. All right. Cut. all you're cutting all cut all that out. Cut. Don't cut that out. That's. hilarious. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No, I. didn't. I love him. I'm a big fan of. his. No. No. First of all, we're leaving. that in. And let me tell you why. Why? Because you you can then be honest. That. doesn't mean you don't like Bowen Yang. It just means you're a little jealous. And that's okay. I'm jealous of his. career. That's what I'm [ __ ] saying. He's in Wicked. He's in everything. I. never got that. And that's out of. jealousy. And I'm a [ __ ] I'm a loser.

And I'll kill myself. Please don't. Okay. Is that what you want? This is. what you [ __ ] did. Look what you guys. did. Bo and Yang or death. What? Yeah. What? Choose. Choose. Look at him. He's. the future. Wait a minute. Ch. Those are. the same things. Bow and Yang would be. death for you. So it's it's either Bow. and Yang or you. No. You said Bowen Yang. or death. Choose Bow and Yang or my. death. Choose Bow and Yang or his death. Yeah. He's super talented. He's the the. right guy for the right time. Is he. spitting in that man's mouth in that. scene? and he's watch I don't think I'll.

watch it. Okay, so don't say that. I. don't I didn't mean it in that way. Okay, you know, but you said but but you. seem to but you seem to think you said. to me and I'm going to say this now. I'm. going to call you out, dude. What? Like. to get you riled up. She said Bowen Yang. has a bigger podcast than ours. There are numbers to support that's not. true. [ __ ] all. Wait, what? There are. numbers to support that that's not true. at all. Is that true? because I feel. like maybe it is. No way. What's the.

name of their show? They just get a lot. of like the Alist. celebrity. that I know of. No, you know what it really is. What it. is is I'll tell you what it's sabotage. It's sabotage. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. What. did that just say? Yeah. Oh, when I. asked uh AI if Bad Friends was a show. for Gen Z. Yes. It's popular show with. Gen Z. The Bad Friends podcast featuring. Theo Vaughn and Bobby Lee. Great.

I'm sorry. Why do you guys always pick on Bobby, do. you think? We don't pick on it. I just. They don't [ __ ] with me at all. They. don't say hi. They don't [ __ ] with you. at all. Yeah, I They don't say hi. They. don't do nothing. If I'm upstairs, they're not upstairs. Yeah. Yeah. They. just wake up at 400 p.m. Okay, that's my. lifestyle. Let me ask you something, right? When's the last time you give me. a hug? You don't like hugs? I do love. hugs. He does from you. He says he does.

He He only likes hugs from people he. trusts. Yeah. Yeah. So, yes, he doesn't. want a hug from There's no high five. There's no, you know what I mean? It's. like, hey, good morning. Hi. I said good morning to. And she'll say she'll go say something. like the dogs are fed. like what, right? No, we are nice to. you. No, no, no, no, no. We more. comfortable with you than like than like. who? I don't want to see other people in. the family. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I.

see. Like a couple days ago when you. were leaving, I was like, "Oh, be safe.". And you didn't even say anything back. You were like, "Oh, thanks." That is. very sweet. Mhm. You don't think that's sweet for her to. say be safe? That's how she said it. How'd you say it? No. Be safe. That's. not like what, dude? That's [ __ ]. rude. No, but that's nicer cuz then I. would be like I'd be devastated if you. weren't safe. Oh, that's very sweet. I. honestly believe if I died, you wouldn't. cry.

I would cry. What do you guys call each. other? What's your nickname for each? You have a nickname? Yeah, I used to. call her Belot, which means [ __ ] Oh. Oh, very good. What a good term. That's. nice. That's sweet. Sister love. Yeah. Yeah. Sister love. What' you call her? Um, I didn't call her this, but people. used to call her this because she was. like the tallest one. Yeah. Like in our. place she was um she was called Agda. which is also called Capri. What's Akda. mean? It's also like a is Capri. It's. the same as the tree man. Oh really?

Mhm. Oh so you're the tree man. You know. what you're you know who you are in the. [ __ ] Game of Thrones. What? Um the. the uh three-eyed raven. What's this. kid's name? Oh B or no. Um Branson. Bran. Bran. Yeah. You're the three-eyed. raven dude. That's cool though. Yeah. Wait, what was the first word? Not capri. the bugduck. What is it? Agda. Agda. What does that mean? Just the same. Just. the same thing. Why do they have two. names? I don't know. I think Capra is. for um Tagalog and then Agda is for.

Bisayiah. This whole [ __ ] country is. confused. I know. They got different. languages with the same They have they. have the same mythical creature but. called something else. Well, we have it. What? Bigfoot is also known as. Sasquatch. They are one and the same. Yeah. So there. Yeah, I think you can. add call to bit to different thing. I'. I've never met se have you ever seen a. real Bigfoot or no? Oh yeah. Okay. Where. I was in uh Pocutello. Oh yeah, that. story. I remember. Tell it please. You.

guys know Pocutello? Remember? Okay. Let's say we're in a campfire and we. have marshmallows and and we have tents. set up. It's midnight and this old. timey, you know what I mean? Man. approaches the campfire. Hello there, lady. Exactly. Hello there. Where'd you. come from, sir? Chinese boy. I'm from way out yonder. Where did Yes. Where did you come from? Oh, we're just, you know, my family, me and my daughters. were camping here. Where did you guys. Where have you come from? We came just.

from the big city of Los Angeles, sir. I. mean, before that, where are you from. from? Right. Right. We're all from. Cleveland. Really? Originally, yes. You. don't look like Clevelanders. Yeah. Well, there's a lot of sun we got. You. know what I mean? We're field workers. Well, next time wear sunglasses. Your. eyes won't end up like that. already. Get the [ __ ] out of here, man. What? Yeah. You came here to tell a. story. Came with guns. So, you going to. tell us? Listen here. Tell us a story. Came here with guns. Are you a part of. the KKK? Part of it. I'm the whole damn.

thing. I'm K. KK is down the [ __ ] street. Kanye, come here. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Let. me tell you something. I saw myself some. Sasquatch one time. You ever seen him? No. No. Big big man. Beautiful man. Yeah. I was walking through Pocutello. Pocutello? Where is that, sir? Idaho. Oh. Fixing myself to get myself a. sasparilla.

I wandered around for hours and hours. Wow. Didn't find anywhere to wet my. whistle. Anyway, sir, we're It's. bedtime. The girls go to sleep. Oh, you'll want. to stay up for this. All right, I guess. stay up, sir. Right. Yeah. So, nowhere would wet my. whistle. Wet my whistle. Honey, sweetie, don't. ask that question. Yeah. All right, sir. Come on. They're kids. I wanted to wet. my whistle. Okay. An actual whistle. You.

know, they they wet the tip so they blow. on it. No, I was looking I was looking. for a hooker to give me some head. I couldn't find a girl. Okay, sir, that's enough. The negative we we we. have an early morning. We're going to go. fishing. They're going to hear it from. me or somewhere else. Okay. Anyway, guys, you know, we love whistles now. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Tweet tweet. So, here I was strolling around Pocutello. Yeah. Looking for somewhere to wet my. whistle. I didn't find it, sir. Okay.

But I sat on the curb. Yeah. And thought. to myself, "Well, this thing ain't going. to beat itself. So, I pulled my pants down, sweet, and I. started whapping my wiener against my. legs. Okay, that's the Sasquatch call, you know. We can imagine the sound effects are. Okay, here. Listen. I'll do it right. now. Here, girls. Listen up. Yeah. Yeah. Listen up, girls. Yeah. And of course, here comes. Sasquatch. Yeah. He loves it. He's.

hungry for. What is that? Is that him? Is Is his. penis rubbing against his legs? His. penis against his legs. I make that. noise. He recalls. Yeah. Some would. think he was walking, but he wasn't. Oh, no. That's just his penis. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Clanking against his big old. hairy legs. Yeah. Yeah. And you're still. doing yours, sir? Yeah. We're. communicating. Yeah. You're. communicating that way. Okay. And his. goes, "Yeah." And what does yours sound. like, sir? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Is.

that how you call a Sasquatch? That's. how you call him? He came. Anyway, good. night. Good night, sir. Good night. Good. night. Sleep tight. Sleep tight, girls. Wow. Wow. By the. way, that is a Sasquatch call. You know. that. You know they say if you're naked. in the woods, he'll appear. If you have. clothes on, he won't be there. Yeah, I've done it before. He doesn't appear. Really? Yeah. Yeah. Never. Yeah. That is. what they say. Attract Sasquatch. Leave gifts. Make noise. This get naked's not on there. Those.

Yeah. Those fellas at school tricked me. Yeah. Yeah, it's not it's not Can I tell. you a uh Can I tell you a street joke? Can I tell you a Gilbert Godfrey street. joke? I love it. And can I do it like. Gilbert? Cuz rest in peace, one of the. greatest of all time. You're going to. like this, girls. All right. But. honestly, ladies, uh girls Mhm. if you. don't laugh if it's not funny. Okay. All. right. So, let's go straight face. We'll. all go straight face. One of you. Don't. even smile unless it's funny. That's. right. It's okay. Ready? Here we go. No, don't. You're smiling now. Don't [ __ ].

stop. You're smiling now. This is a. Gilbert Godfree joke. Two Jewish men in a park. The one Jewish. guy said, "I'm so old. I'm so old. I'm. so old." The other guy says, "You're not. that old." Yes, I am. You don't even. know how old I am. He goes, "I bet you I. can tell you how old you are. How?" He. says, "Take off your pants." He goes, "I'm not taking off my pants. I'm in the. park. Take them off." So he does. Then.

he says, "Now take off your underwear.". I'm not taking off my underwear. I'm in. the park. He says, "Take them off." He. does. Then he says, "Bend over and stick. your thumb right in your asshole." I'm. not sticking my thumb in my [ __ ]. We're at the park. Just do it. And he. does. And the other man says, "You're. 95." And he pulls his thumb out of his. ass and says, "How did you know that?". and he said, "You told me yesterday.".

Thank you for being a bad friend. [Music].