Prunes Are God's Ozempic | Ep 213 | Bad Friends
hey hey everybody we went to Austin and. we did something for patreon yeah we did. a little Austin show with our boys the. basement yard and now you can watch it. it was an amazing live experience it was. beautiful and you should have been there. if you're a paid patreon member it's. free if you're not you can still watch. it by going to our patreon shop the link. will be on the screen and remember paid. members will get anything we share there. for free as part of their membership so. it's a great time to become a bad friend. that's right our patreon Shop is open to. anyone whether you're a member or not. and it's where we'll be able to sell any.
live shows specials Etc directly to you. we're going to be doing more patreons. we're going to give bonus episodes on. patreon so sign up baby we have some. good ones on bab I had to massage Bobby. naked when I lost a beted on the show. and I couldn't get over how purple it. was dud it like Barney's dick top six. okay okay okay hold them get them wait a. minute wait a. minute give it up for the bad friends. thank you guys very much appreciate you. hey hey we're going to be an Abu AB.
Dhabi comedy week City and Abu Dhabi. comedy week as part of Abu Dhabi comedy. week bad friends are coming to Abu Dhabi. for the first time May 21st that's right. where are we playing the etad atad arena. yes Island yes Island Man book your. tickets right now brought to you by the1. go to badf frsp pod.com for the tickets. badri pod.com I'm doing a couple dates. I'm doing Tampa Florida uh Phoenix. Arizona Nashville Tennessee Dallas Texas. and San Francisco Dallas and San. Francisco uh shows have been added go to. Andrew Santino dcom for those take it's.
Andrew Santino. [Music]. docomo you two are something we're bad. friends what do they call transition. lenses and that's very Progressive these. aren't transition they're going to stay. this way the whole time oh wow I don't I. have to change glasses it's takes all. the cool out of having sunglasses when. did you do the when did you uh have you. ever had the transition lenses I had. them for a while and then I was told. they're not cool why wait why they're.
not cool I don't understand I don't know. some girl told me that and I listened to. her oh you got to listen to girls yeah. yeah are you married I am married yeah I. can't believe that it's hard to believe. what a miracle yeah you know where you. know uh where he had his wedding where. downtown LA 4th of July the only way to. go they fit right in with all the tents. down there really yeah got a good tent. for the weekend is she Jew or what she. is not Jew okay but thank you for asking. not Jew not Jew wow wow the status SYM.
among my people not Jew is the is the. step up that's what you're supposed to. say not Jew yeah not Jew Bobby is. interested in dating a Jewish woman can. you help acquire him had one never one. Jew wow I think you could do that how do. you though I never jewi I'm. Palestinian opposites ATT track that's. going to be tough Bob. Bob we do want to get him he's never. dated a Jewish girl and I said why why. we're in Los Angeles like how not and he. just what he says he can't land any.
Jewish girls well I've been hooking up. with. Arabs oh I love it he's a big Arab fan I. love the Arabs you like a little. Sideburn on your lady yeah I mean they. never used to like me uhuh but not with. this new fame yeah my options have open. well they have the same kind of mustache. him and the Arab women yeah yeah but. they have it down there they have it. down there yeah that's what we're. looking for on the chics of sunset you. coming. in season. Cliffhanger yeah you like giggling boys.
yes I love it too. okay these boys are our uh did you meet. did everybody meet yeah we met earlier. our nice production team of rag tag. individuals missfits and Carlos is uh uh. 97 days sober a little over 100 now oh. it's over 100 now hey that's great dude. congrats you guys are David tell fans. yeah yeah what was name me an album hold. for memories well that's a great I only. one I know I Love It For The Memories is. amazing that be great.
that's a good test fancy doesn't know. Andre doesn't know uh is it in Spanish. yeah do you have any stuff in Spanish. for him do I have any I was going to. give him a comb I mean hair how'd you. get here buddy power glider. uh yeah see this guy. se you really have a multicultural feel. going on in here I love it what do you. mean you're just looking at me and. saying that that I mean not paying.
anybody can I say one thing guys have we. started yet or is this what you guys the. tailgate yeah no we just kind of get. going just get going this is the podcast. that I've been dying to do I'm out here. promoting and promoting I'm like when do. I get to sit with these guys now I am. and I'm sitting in the this is awesome I. remember these in that movie Wonka I. mean that's what happens when you're bad. and they put an oal up in the chair give. a talk down cuz they can't get out of. those we actually got those there was a. a stage sale we got those from Puff.
Daddy's house right here that they. raided wow yeah they put those on the. lawn I going to say after Peewee died. this is his right out of the playhouse. the reading of his. will so let's introduce please do may I. oh please I just said all right so um. the first time I met Dave was years ago. um this guy named Ned remember Ned Ned. uh Carlos Mania oh. okay you know him by his a superpower. name super um and we did a tour remember.
that tour we did uhhuh that was a big. deal for us yeah yeah back then Ned was. like I'm going to you know get the. biggest white dude the biggest black. dude biggest Asian I was the only Asian. who was the big who was the biggest. black dude who was it DC Curry not DC. Curry was DC Curry no I I don't remember. plan like that but I remember it was. like a big deal tour it was like a. theater tour outdoor venues iie was on. some of those it was huge it was huge. and we it was the first big tour I've. ever done in terms of theaters. amphitheaters no they weren't.
amphitheaters they were like 3. 3,200 yeah I I don't remember I don't. really I I remember bombing that's all I. remember I did not do well he would do. the talk for me like you know this guy. coming out I think he's funny you should. think he's funny he's trying to like. strong arm his crowd you know yeah it. was like a Mexican Crowd Oh really yeah. was pretty Mexican yeah so they loved. you I did I wasn't I was so green yeah. but you you did good I remember even.
when you were green you were still a. little yellow so it's you got through it. wow you were laughing too you you can't. do the hard look you're right I laugh. first laugh again laugh again oh that's. how it was supposed to go down yeah he's. a Kanye he doesn't want to be caught. laughing oh yeah Lou and then. Louie this just my I'm just my history. with them you used to live in LA yes I'm. from La yeah and uh we used to write. together yes um wait a.
minute you mean Lou used to write and. you were near. him oh he got you you know what I knew. dude when you squint your eyes yeah. right and your face gets all red right I. know you're about to dig he's a he's a. phenomenal J writer and I know Lou was. just ripping through pages and he was. sitting there smoking like looking over. your shoulder good stuff. Louie Kidd it's sorry still.
funny great great great great. stuff can I throw can I throw more. stories in throw it in what what I. always loved about you Bobby is like you. you would do a great set they would love. you and then you then you'd come running. off and then you would immed go like I. can't do an hour all right there's no. reason why I should be up there for an. hour and I'm like what they could have. watched you for like two hours dude they. were really having a great time.
I still do it I still do it I still do. it can't do it I feel the same way I. feel the same way yeah yeah I feel. exactly the same way I'm like I want out. I want out of here you know what I'm. saying or you you you've gone through. all your material and then you look at. the clock and it's like 33 minutes I. hate that oh I hate it like I guess I'm. going to have to do improv yeah I hate. it so Lou used to right yeah that's. right he's he's probably one of the best. joke writers I have a better dude. remember we were on the um we were on.
the sitcom together oh my God this is. crazy I hate it this is crazy this is. PTSD this is my my favorite Bobby story. go ahead in the early alts this is uh we. were um all you were regular on the. sitcom too I I was on Mad TV okay but no. no this is not that we were on a thing. called use car smell yeah new new car. smell new car smell the guys who did it. were really cool they wanted comics on. it [ __ ] but there was also [ __ ] them but. but they all wait hold on let no no I'm. going to get into it okay but hold on it. was you me and Jimmy Schubert yes and.
I'm not an actor totally not an actor. and they kept giving me these long like. setups for the regular people to get the. punch line and I'm like what the I I. can't I can't do I can't you know and I. wanted to like red fox it and like ride. it on the walls and stuff but anyway. yeah so I'm not even on the thing right. Brook Shields no see I thought you were. like a special guest or something no no. no I was a re Brook Shields was in it. the the guy the leag guy is like a great. actor and he was like rolling his eyes. every time I open my mouth what's his. name there but he was like a really good.
act oh Christopher McDonald yes I was. supposed to be [ __ ] regular a plus. anyway you and I hold on a second you. and I and Jimmy we're all going Ure. scenes and then we'd be smoking outside. stage and every time I believe this was. like on the warmup or whatever it is the. dry run through or something we'd all. run out and say the same thing I can't. act I can't believe they're G to fire me. I'm getting my stuff now cuz they're. going to fire me by lunch I'm out of. here and I was like when you said that. and then I felt like so much better I. was like oh great not the only non-actor.
here but you were killing it and then it. went on and then finally we were doing. in front of a crowd you know that like. it was crowd and then the real actors. they were like stumbling on the lines. but we were rocking it because we were. like totally whing it up to the crowd. like I don't know whatever you whatever. you say JJ you know like we were totally. s coming it then Mitch Hedberg died a. lot happened in that week it was a big. week I'm not kid was that the week that. was the week oh my god wow look at oh. David Walton there it is new car smell.
Put It Up full screen it let me see what. this is the full pilot can you imagine. Bobby if that went can you imagine we'd. be retired now I would have been fire. Dave no no there he is look at that. awesome I will say it's weird to not see. you in all black I love it and that look. is still really in you know mostly u in. the Middle East how come dressed up. somehow dressed up you look sleazer it. really does I hate it well can I tell. you my experience on that real quick. Brook Shields by the way is so she's.
very cool she was very cool I hated her. you didn't why I [ __ ] hated her I. like her no I don't give a [ __ ] get out. of your podcast oh wait I have to. leave wait what did you not like about. her what did you am I edited out of that. thing yeah I can't find you you can't. find look at me lurking in the. back dude you're such a good lurker. though what's going on over there no I. had to go there cuz I was overacting so. much they had to push me back to push me. way back stand natural you're standing. in a weird way that's a Meisner I'm.
using you can't find me in there right. well you think they scrubbed you you. think they that's you. right they cut me. out so they so Fox calls me and they go. there's a show called new car smell we. want you in it and I go okay and then. they go but the Cullen Brothers don't. want you in it the guys who made the. show oh that that was their names yeah. the cull not the Cohen Brothers. the and then it doesn't seem like. I'm glad you caught that Lou I thought.
it was the brothers too so then they go. um but but they they want Getty W Ani oh. yeah long du dong yeah he's. great he is objectively he's great I. would hire you. 100% let me let me ask you friend yeah. if you were showrunner right yeah you. pick him before me 100% not even I. wouldn't even think about it. yeah so so you were the you were the. backup basically right so they forced me.
in and Rob cullin would always pull me. aside and go listen man you got to learn. how to act I swear to God I can't. believe am I in the pilot they cut me. out of it Dave I thought you did a great. job oh thank you so much honestly I what. I can't believe he would say that that. would ruin your confidence it did yeah. it sure did basically psyching psyching. you out psyching me out and then like I. had two pages of dialogue it's not worth. watching even for Bobby Leaf. f.
it's a terrible show should have never. been made it's a waste of time money and. talent yeah did you put just put that in. there yeah he just wrote that type that. wait go back to the pilot and scrub. through it that's he's got to be in. there I want to see the image of go back. to the pilot I'm not in it dude but my. my point is is it I had two pages of. dialogue and by the pilot I had one. [Music]. line that's almost impossible one line. it's a restaurant scene anyway um and I. it was the worst human experience of my. life what did BR and I run into Rob I've.
seen rob a couple of times since then I. won't even look at him really yeah yeah. you really I [ __ ] that guy bus what did. Brook Shields do to you that you're so. negative about well because the show. owners didn't want me you could feel it. you know and so um I I was at craft. service and you know and in my mind I'm. like you know you're in Hollywood I know. you're a comic but let's break in and. let's let's mingle let's smoo it and. then I was sitting by the nuts and stuff. and I go good morning to to Brooke yeah. and she didn't even wow like I was even. there I got to tell you I'm probably.
taking I think here this is the scene. yeah well we don't we don't see you. you're not in it no no before before. they start talking oh before there's any. dialogue is there a mannequin by any. chance in there is there a before this. okay oh is that Dukes that's. you nice rack yeah I was cut out of it I. was cut out of the pilot wow yeah so is. this this other guy that you mentioned. that guy is kind of your do that's a. person you're always up against no oh. the Long Dong what happened long D no.
who you against long gy. Wabi no was much older and at that time. you know he had done a couple of movies. you know like like Classics he was. famous though yeah yeah he was like very. very famous right so um and I was like. the new kid and fox was trying to get. the new kid in I see well cuz you were. cheaper I'm sure oh much cheaper that's. what it I'm serious I bet you they were. like we can just get this cuz I'm sure. the pilot you know they overpay like. Brook Shield's probably got all the. money well the stares the and then I'm.
sure with him they were like let's just. Bobby L yeah how Asian can you look wow. how I list I remember him the Nerds yeah. that was that was you need that was a. different Asian from Revenge of the. Nerds yeah okay yeah yeah but but but. but but do you think I know what you're. saying well you're so good on that show. Showgun I mean you're more a dramatic. actor C for losers yeah where it's.
at oh man P I'd love to see all the. parts that like you had to do like over. the years it must be so crazy yeah there. I mean I mean there are some good. experiences and then there have just. been nightmares the best ones not to. make it all like an actor's Workshop but. since as a non-actor when you work with. other comics and they just go like just. do what you do that's the best that's. the best you could ever do with with. guys like me yeah me too to that's you. like immediately like they get it they. just want it funny they can edit you. know like you forget all these other. things that get involved so I'm always.
like you know when I work with Amy or I. always work with Michael Chay I mean. like they're all so good like Pete you. know like there are other Comics they. get it you know it's like just get to. the funny you know yeah yeah so that. defit me is cool but I always thought. you were a good actor oh thanks. definitely I'm getting like I'm serious. okay you have a heart yeah your old. writing. partner but the things I've been doing. lately are pretty much offers and then. then when I show up they're like I'll. just do you it's great right yeah so. it's been it's been easy right cuz.
you're a great actor you're you're great. that's why they want you to do you. you're a great actor I feel there's. something behind that. compul when you're a really good actor. they just want you to do. you see you're a [ __ ] [ __ ] today. dude shut up it's in your face dude shut. the [ __ ] up [ __ ] you dude I do like this. pink shirt today I do think it's cool oh. thanks man it's a rad shirt anyway how. did you do last night by the way Dave. were you at the store last night what's. that were you at the store last night I.
walked by what are you what are you. getting. at were you I've been podcasting my. little ass off that's did you not go you. didn't get up last night no I didn't go. cuz we heard I heard you were going to. come by they had a special guest in the. O and I thought it was you who I know. what it was who's Martin Lawrence and. again oh awesome he did he did a half. hour he's doing a theater tour is what. the rumor was and he was working out for. the theater tour but what [ __ ] up he. brought me on this great moment but what. [ __ ] up was he's he's more quiet on. stage now wow so they turned up the mic.
like really really loud and then he. brought me on and my first joke I'm. like and the whole you can tell the. audience and then in the middle of my. joke they turn it way down so it was the. [ __ ] weird and I looked over at the. booth and I did this and they were like. how was his intro cuz they they're hit. and miss no I I will say this it was. awesome I said Emily goes uh the manager. said he's going to bring you on he knows. who you are I told him and I thought if. he I don't care if he [ __ ] it he does. he doesn't know me personally I said. it's fine but he got it it was and it.
was very nice because it was his Road. manager there and they rehearsed it. before it was really nice though they. plus he could have just been like next. comic no he used to do this I'm done and. then just walk off stage Natasha has a. bit about him being rude to her when he. brings her really yeah yeah yeah yeah. it's on one of her specials I'm sure. yeah he was apparently very rude I don't. know that's always low energy now huh. well he's just he's just I don't it's. weird to describe he's just much quieter. adult think yeah he's grown you get. older and like you know like we do two.
shows in one night and you can't. remember like what you did in the first. show I mean sometimes like when I'm. coming off like a hard like just like. you know no no booze no no no nothing. anymore it's just being tired and old. and you're like always messing up the. MC's name you know that kind of thing. all right I've called him a million. different names when we're on shows. together you know thanks Reggie you know. it's like yeah it's not even close are. you sober now for completely oh for. years for years for how long so long. since that new cor smell sh.
you don't smoke weed or anything no I. know weed is like a a vitamin out here. but I don't do it oh wow I kind of. missed out I missed out on the whole. weed Evolution too are you 12ep guy or. no no I don't do any that you just do. just you cold turkey yep that's amazing. turkey Shopify when we started. podcasting an online star was the first. thing from our minds that's right now. we're selling so many things shirts not. buckets but like cups not buckets well. these are coffee buckets yeah so this. should called a coffee it's easy and all.
all because we use Shopify that's. exactly right Shopify is incredible it's. the global Commerce platform that helps. you sell at every stage of your business. from the launcher online shop stage to. the first real life store stage uh we've. got uh so many different things juggling. on the show and with Shopify it makes it. so simple and easy doesn't matter what. you're selling or who you're selling it. to this Shopify helps you sell it. everywhere Shopify Powers 10% of all. e-commerce in the US and Shopify is the. global force behind alirts rothy and.
Brooklyn and and millions of other. entrepreneurs every size across 175. countries wow plus shopify's extensive. help resources are there to support your. success every step of the way because. businesses that grow grow with Shopify. Bob how do they get it sign up for a $1. per month trial period at shopify.com. badf friendsall lowercase go to. shopify.com badri now to grow your. business no matter what stage you're in. shopify.com. friends Factor eat stressfree this.
spring with Factor's delicious ready to. eat meals every fresh never frozen meal. is chef-crafted. dietician approved and ready to eat in. just two minutes it's so simple it's so. easy we're always on the Move whether. we're podcasting doing shows we're on. tour or we're just hugging in a park. that's what Bobby and I do most often a. you can choose from a weekly menu of 35. options including popular options like. calorie smart keto Protein Plus or vegan. and veggie uh they sent these to us and. they are absolutely delicious they're so. quick and easy Chef prepared meals on.
the table in DOS 2 minutes with Factor. ready to eat meal so you can get back to. doing what you love this spring looking. for gourmet meals yeah try meals that. feature premium ingredients like. flaming shrimp truffle butter broccolini. and asparagus asparagus no fuss no mess. meals Factory meals eliminate the hassle. of prepping cooking cleaning up I hate. doing dishes simply heat and Savor the. good stuff head to factor meals.com bf50.
and use code badf friends 50 to get 50%. off your first box plus 20% off your. next box wow that is code badri 50@. factor meals.com. bf50 to get 50% off your first box plus. 20% off your next box while your. subscription is active are you sober. Louie no I just don't I don't drink that. much but I I've never quit anything I. keep moderation think that's what's. going to kill me moderation he's a food. guy. he's a foodie type so every city you go.
to do you are you one of the guys that. you know how to pick out the spots you. have the there's nothing open yeah well. the problem is he only he doesn't drink. and he only only eats one meal a day. after the shows and now everything's. closed early so it's like yeah I know to. pick the best waffle house I mean. there's not options okay it worked for. Lance Armstrong why do. anybody hey the guy from uh the guy over. there what's now what's your name again. Amis and I know you're one bite away. from being a full vampire but.
I mean let's get the pal guy in. Burbank that's so true holy [ __ ] dude. please please keep going with it guy did. all the stunts for Oppenheimer look that. guy sorry Bobby no offense in your house. no off your oh please we love this sorry. we we love this hit him as hard as you. want he's fine he's smiling on Dave you. don't wait when you wake up you don't. eat breakfast no nothing what am I girl. for what what am I going to go to.
school so you you literally don't eat. anything you know what I got on me right. now you want to know I got a bag of. prunes you want to look at. it thank you I'm kind of hoping like a. cop Co what you got in that bag and you. pull out a bag of you can go you. loser you have a cup of coffee you have. a lot of coffee a lot of coffee and a. lot of cigarettes this guy doesn't smoke. I really feel bad for him yeah you don't. mind do you yeah I mean I've learned. tricks like I keep my Jack outside of. the green room so it doesn't smell no I.
can't wait to apologize to him at his. funeral I out live him. yeah how did your special go good yeah. dude thanks thanks to you I mean you had. me on your on the other podcast which. helped a lot and it's great I was able. to sneak onto your more successful. podcast now um special has so many great. jokes in it and yeah I just hit a. million views like the other week wow. wow Ally that's great doing the intro. for it the best the best comedian You'. never heard of it I'm rapping it's so. interesting that you didn't ask and.
Andrew to be uh the intro well I didn't. I wasn't sure if you guys would do it I. had to ask first I had to I didn't I. asked about this podcast I had to sneak. in with Dave you know so like this is. this I'm get what I can well and also he. directed it he produced it he I mean. like that's the Full Tilt that's him. where' you shoot it at uh the comedy. fort in Fort Collins yeah and I did have. other people work at me but I'm Hands-On. with the whole thing it was cuz he had. to connect to his ski base you know ski.
fans you're a big ski bomb that's why. it's a great Club but it's still like. it's the best club you could possibly. have in a small town in Colorado so. you're telling like jokes about Jews and. blacks and they're like what are those. and. it what are. those interesting but no I'm pretty. happy with it Y and I love that set the. the art of the set you know a brick wall. and two waters what more do you. need it's not it's not it's no hot let's. move on let's move on. let's we plug it we wait go back to the.
beginning I'm in the beginning oh you. are come on there he is look at that. Bobby's in it though weren't you just in. that scroll through I think Bobby was in. there there he is. oh there's Robert. Ally it really is an insult to Ally such. a beautiful girl why would I say that. about her to you look at how much. prettier she is than never mind all. right honestly dude look at me right now. just a better. Asian I honestly I don't know what. happened today dud but it's like it's. aggressive it's not it is there's.
something that you're doing with your. squinchy face and your [ __ ] red face. I don't like it you know what I'm going. to say what we're renaming the show what. is it it's very bad for very bad today. we went a new level it's a new level. today Dave do are you you're not married. look at me of course I'm not girlfriend. nothing I'm totally I want to meet this. Jewish girl like you're talking about. I've heard tell of them yeah so you. there no just zero nothing W that's the. best thing when you come out here there.
so many I was just in Austin the most am. I right everywhere and I'm just once. again lurking around without the tie on. yeah yeah no I don't know buddy I'm so. old I I really you know I guess I have a. lot of uh issues my mom I have to take. care of her she has dementia stuff like. that so it's a lot of work and uh. luckily she's doing okay but the uh the. road is not fun I mean it's like you go. out there you do your thing maybe you. find a place to eat when you're you know. like old so these young pups out there.
of course having having some laughs how. about you buddy I mean honestly I can. assume on one of these apps you must be. the real get no I'm no apps I'm yeah I'm. just Raja I'm out the Raja I figured you. yeah yeah yeah I'm on it yeah is that. what it's called Rya yeah it's called. Rya what did I sign up for you got. banned he got banned from a few apps I. got banned from all of them but Rya wow. really wait like guess why this is even. better why do you think he got banned I. I can't I didn't know you could get. banned you can you can was it politics.
no nudity no no no but very accurate. very accurate yeah yeah is your hashtag. bring money on the date. something you got banned for being Asian. how dare you wow you son of a [ __ ] dude. he lied about his age wow on all of them. that's okay I thought that's okay it's. not really yeah wow well I said I was 34. he was reported I'm.
52 and what happens is wait that is not. even like you can't dance around that. like did I tell you well I kind of lied. I'm about 19 years older than I mean you. know I don't know what to tell you yeah. two decades is a lie yeah but but my but. but but they could just Google me and. then you know my name my you age is on. the internet so it's like that's not. what I was doing it for I mean can't. they see the picture of you running from. the 9/11. Tower you said. iszy said you were in grade school.
you're a day trader yeah um no what. because when you're 52 you get matched. on those sides with other 50 you know. people cuz they're younger a younger I. know women in their 30s are like they. they they're cut off points 40 okay. right so you're not getting them in you. know they're not getting your profile in. there and there's a reason for. that well what let me I'm curious well. they're not they are not interested in.
52y Old Men I understand but can I can. let me defend myself go ahead I will. please who's aggressive now I don't yeah. yeah I'm sorry so let me defend myself. please I'm going to you were thinking. about W how no I'll defend him I'm not. thinking about dude this is what he does. I'll defend him he's a young 52 a very. young 52 no because by going to 34 and. I've gotten on dates you know I mean and. then they go yeah my my thing's at 40.
but I'm glad I met you it's like I I I I. play Young they want you to lie they're. forcing you to lie they're forcing you. to lie they shouldn't have that thing on. there a thing right all is welcome. that's what it should be called all all. is welcome no it's all famous people. welome they don't want the trash in. there exct right right yeah oh I'm a. doctor and I work with the spe no get. out of here Luther like get out of there. should be a where like you can lie about. your age to the amount of money you have.
in your bank account the higher the bank. account the more you can lie wow yeah. what about that sugar daddy thing I mean. you'd be the awesome like I mean come on. the young you know what I'm saying oh. yeah there so there are sugar daddy. sites you don't want that do you want. that I mean yeah but let me ask you. about the sugar daddy sites how much. money are you if you're a sugar daddy. yeah what's the limit here what do you. mean of limit of what you have to spend. yeah because I there are there are sugar. days I've been on them. right and then it's like you know I mean.
they're asking for a certain amount of. money I'm like that's insane how much. money do they asking for some you say. like you know I mean like 50 Grand a. month I don't know 50 Grand to keep them. in the lifestyle why not just get a B. it's so much cheaper I know but some of. that's his expertise the guy with the. backwards hat Carlos is a that he loves. uh paid uh paid friends paid friends. yeah you don't have to go on seeking to. get like a hot girl though can we can we. go on seeking and look at the profiles. or no what's seeking this is this is. It's a sugar Dy. yeah yeah can we look at the see see.
what's available here yeah my oh look at. that I'll just you have a profile yeah. he's already oh you have one I had one. yeah but the girl I saw she died like. two months later wow so I got off I knew. this would lead to a Cold. Case yeah no dude what's even funnier. about this is that you were on seeking. yeah but what you don't have any [ __ ]. Mone you no money because they're not. all they're asking you for 50 Grands. they know you're worth more right. they're asking you for $50. oh [ __ ] you get the you you get you get.
the bus pass girls they call us salt and. pepper daddies what does that mean what. does that mean it means uh it's not all. like sugar oh it's a little bitter it's. a little bitter yeah so how much money. do you think is U like if a girl goes. well I I just need three grand a month I. I well I'm I would say no to everything. even if I was single I'm not [ __ ]. paying you four grand to hang out that's. insane that's the I thought you had to. put them up in an apartment and fly them. around the world some like that this is. if you want a total disconnect and if.
you but if you just want yeah okay I. don't I know thatn no don't do this cuz. they're here you know that's not true I. like it's connecting you he wants to. find love so [ __ ] bad he does he's. lying yeah you know you do this would be. so weird and you you wouldn't get any. sort of connection whatsoever it'd be. [ __ ] weird yeah well then you have to. do it like everyone else in this town. you have to shop at that Ralph's that's. right that seems to be the place the. hook the place we the rock and roll. routes on Sunset yeah yeah yeah that's a. good one down there man it's. crazy yeah that is a pretty good there's.
some hot chicks there but more rock yeah. get like also vampires like yourself you. know what I mean you're not into that. what kind of you just like a you don't. like tats and stuff like that they have. to be taller easy which is. everybody everybody and they be taller. right they have to have some. education what what some form of. Education you no not like give me some G. know above what about Street smarts no. okay doesn't work with me wait a minute. you're you don't have a college.
education why do you care that's why I. want to breath bre everything see does. he doesn't have he wants the other part. unite attractive we connect yeah I get. it okay so attractive very attractive. very that's a big one right um they have. to have. um driver's license yeah yeah yeah some. semblance of to vote yeah of culture you. know what does that mean well they have. to just like basically what I'm saying. is the things that you know you know.
that the other day I was telling that. like you it's odd that you know certain. things I like you surprise me all the. time yeah about like I want that people. that read no no no the people that just. have they they're just kind of like oh I. know about REM brand or I know about. it's from Reading that's how. you how oh really yeah it's not like. you're bit by a historian and all you. have all the power not like. Spider-Man. in.
1476 that's so funny I think those are. all accessible I think those are really. you didn't say anything crazy nothing. crazy um actually the range of women. that he has dated because I've been here. for all of it is it's actually pretty. great you haven't had a typical they all. kind of have a different style a. different look they're like they've all. been pretty cool so he he's some of them. you you haven't liked there's been. there's there well there's one I'm like. you you well you didn't like her either. what the [ __ ] is I I know but you said I.
don't like that you know when you know. right away when your friend is with. somebody and you're like oh my God this. yeah I can't wait till you find out I. can't wait till you know that this is a. terrible idea but the one thing you. didn't say was sense of humor that's. right yeah sense of humor no you don't. want that no I do you don't want you. didn't say but I don't want here I I I. I've I've dated hams. breathe I dated. like you me like Hammy I don't like that. terrible I does that a real song I don't.
even know a booty I'm on a booty you. know mean I don't like that you know I. mean I like you know um like little Sly. jokes you know what I mean she got to. get your stuff right little roast like a. little roast yeah that's you know what I. mean witty but laidback not like your. improv one class exactly yeah I don't. like sketch like a sketch artist like a. sketch player like what you do yeah I. don't want me you don't want for the. opposite I get it be you want a. complimentary partner yeah and also I. need somebody that's um. that isn't against like that that loves.
the culture of Korea who doesn't love. the culture of Korea yeah this guy wow. yeah I I mean I want somebody to like. like like I you know I was on it the. girl that last week yes and you know I. would I go have you ever had um Shabu. Shabu have you had Shabu. Shabu I was just in Vegas I didn't see. him playing in is that a magician is. that a contortionist who is that ladies. and gentlemen Shabu. [Laughter]. hey I know him yeah he was the roommate.
of Siran. sir thank you Bobby for Shing my memory. of culture shabo shab you know shabo. shab boiling water the grilled it's the. grilled stuff oh no it's the boiling. water it's boiling water and it's. [ __ ] Phenom I can't recommend this. more if you're a big foodie dude go to a. shabo's place while you're here I'm down. do they make you cook it yeah I don't. like that no no it's I need someone else. to understand what you're doing you can. get them to cook it they don't that's. fine the places I go they don't they. don't like to but you choose your. broth right so it's like you know.
there's always a variety of five like. bone broth a tomato broth Hot Pot Hot. Pot is correct that's correct that is. correct that is correct all right so. like you know last she's like and she. goes well she's from the Midwest she's. like i't even heard of that yeah that's. okay yeah but that's not fair I mean. maybe she just called No but she did go. she was like but I'm willing to try yeah. and she went and she had a great time. she's like I love this she say what is. this garbage and like spit it all out on. American flag. God what are you doing to me my point is.
I want them to like be able to like you. know try things yeah you well they she. did wear Trump shoes to the date that. you did say that turned off off a little. no no she did the gold ones the gold. ones the limited edition gold ones you. want the kind of girl you could sit on. the couch and watch a movie with right. what would the movie be go ahead oh sh. go ahead go ahead parasite what would it. be I hope you know the Korean Cinema. well like you know I've done like old.
boy with the dates squid game no that's. a series it's too long well depends on. how much you like her yeah oh that's. true you start with old boy then you get. squid game if you can u a good movie is. memor memories of a murder of Aisha oh. memories of a murder SE that it's good. it's so good and so you know a Korean. film and then um that's it have you guys. seen old boy by the way yeah which. version of it though there's like two. Kore the Korean that's the one the other. one I'm not so sure about yeah yeah so. good one you got to watch it I saw it.
when it someone gave me like a bootleg. when it came out this was back when. there were bootlegs and like right when. it got good it started skipping Kevin. Shay got me a bootleg that's that. started skipping Kevin who Kevin Shay. I'm not supposed to mention him on here. sorry I'd like you to mention. more very good and would your lady also. be like she smokes like she's not that's. not like well I quit for a while I just. started smoking again as you know he's. giving me [ __ ] about I've been giving. him a little bit of [ __ ] because we. trying to put it away but it's uh he's I. quit for two years and then what what.
made you Jessie our opener oh when we go. we have an opener yeah and she smoked. and you know and every once in a while. i' be like and then all everyone was. [ __ ] smoking and then it was like you. know then he started sneaking them and. then back out control it's so crazy how. it grabs you it's tough I've heard. that's the most addictive thing like. more than anything else but there's. nothing like nothing like it really. there's nothing like it the Vapes don't. you know I mean the dipping it just it's. you are so right buddy yeah you a pack a. day what oh more than that no wow but I.
would say that do you do you kind of. regret the two years you didn't. smoke what' you say two years that you. took off no because look what happened. just he would just dip the whole time oh. well there you go hands and cans of dip. now that's hard to find a lady that. enjoys that I know I know got to go down. south you kind of look like you run of. bies anyhow so this would be great got a. sail on jerky and dip I mean what are. you looking for Dave uh everything you. just said I thought that was great. except for that Korean knowledge.
stuff I mean maybe we'll watch a mash. you know occasionally right right right. right right do you guys think it's. actually harder to meet someone because. you're successful and famous I've said. that to him all the time I'm happy that. I'm married because I when now that he. single again and we go out on the road. and like you know our nights usually end. in such dramatically different ways now. where like me and some of these bozos. we'll get food and then he he wants to. go on the hunt no no no the hunt he's on. the hunt I'm on the hunt yeah he likes. to fish that's what we call it when he. goes I know when he's going fishing when.
he sneaks away I sneak away and he likes. to be a you know he likes to go in his. little we let him go into the with my. mask yeah do you have them my swords I. sneak away very sneaky sir do you like. have them put like like your TV shows. like on the TV at the bar so you're just. casually like sitting there like hey. look at that that's me like do you try. and like show that you're they'll put on. new car smell in the bar. sometime this is perfect no Lou what do. you do what ises going on the hunt mean. like why don't you just wait till after. the show and meet someone after the show. I don't know how Dave feels about it but.
I I don't think in the last 20 years. I've hooked up with somebody that didn't. know who I was before well I'm just. going to say this buddy you know what my. lady is merch yeah that's. right yeah hey guys Bobby you got to get. with religion and that's merch that'll. take all the energy out of you put up a. link right here to Dave's merch please. that's his lady Zach dog is a free app. and a website where you can search and. compare highly rated in network doctors.
near you and instantly book appointments. with them online here's the good thing I. just moved okay I moved again uh and I'm. happy because I got Zach do I don't know. where you're going to find doctors and. dentists and all that stuff I didn't. know where to turn to with Zach do it's. so easy uh you search once you find the. doc you want you can book them. immediately no more waiting awkwardly on. hold with a receptionist or going. through a different service this is. simplified all these docs have verified. reviews from actual real patients that's.
right you do that with food yeah you do. you do that with other things why you. do why wouldn't you do that with your. life the typical wait time to see a. doctor booked on Zach do is between just. 24 to 72 hours that's it you can even. score same day appointments I found a. doc on Zach do and I got one in about 24. hours just shy of that it was incredible. convenient simple and easy what are you. waiting for go to zocdoc.com badri and. download the Zach do app for free then. find and book a top rated doctor today.
that's Zach do.com zocdoc.com badri. zach.com badri why you bring your. backpack you're leaving I'm getting on. my. prunes please don't leave Dave I'm not. leaving yeah yeah go. ahead it's just distracting you know. mean I can't do this talk while you. searching for. prunes love wow what what do the prunes. do wow you did you do any schooling or. no what do the prunes do it's weird when.
an Asian guy doesn't know anything about. produce that is just really weird what. do they do yeah they move things through. the body it's God's OIC so anybody prune. I'd love with prune throw me a prune I I. would love a prune Bob you want a prune. I like prun while you do your speech. good thing is easy to hose down these. plastic chairs. because thank you thank you thank you. I'd be careful with those guys you're. not used to them just one of them right. I'm serious I'm not [ __ ] around one. prune is going to careful with them. appreciate it what they going to make. you poo like a lot yeah you're going to.
[ __ ] a lot oh yeah but one prune isn't. going to knock me out no you got to eat. you have to eat a bunch if you're not. used to it all right relax Lou one prune. I don't want you getting high off prune. man leave me alone dude I'm Mak my own. choice what about dates is dates the. same as broes or no here no eat all of. them well this sad here you want some no. holy [ __ ] he's got to eat all of them h. these are delicious I'm Bobby Lee it's a. healthy choice oh my God I got a.
[ __ ] anyway let's um what you pluging. Dave I got the hot crust buns on Netflix. that just came out check that this is. the recorder oh look at that or they to. Le the saxophone. now I'm going to take you through it cuz. I know we got a lot of homeschoolers in. the. room who never played the recorder it's. a musical instrument it's somewhere. between a a flute and a bong all right.
okay I hate watching myself but seeing. my uh bags under my eyes I think tells. the whole story yeah where'd you shoot. that Cobb San Francisco great great. crowd and my crowds are really good. he'll tell you my crowds love they kind. of Ruin you for other crowds because. because they're so they really are you. guys got to come on my show some. sometimes love them um how's that room I. I it's so the ceilings are so high I. love C we're about to go both do it yeah. I know I haven't done it in you're used. to the you remember the punch line the. old punch line has love that one yeah.
that's the thing it's like the some of. those clubs they really spoil you too. but I like cobs and I really love the. the crowds up there they totally like. there's no filter with them they they. like it hard they they're good but the. punch line I mean if you guys could just. sell less tickets I'm telling you it's. the best where I am we talked last night. about um about cobs uh because I said. it's so funny that years ago there was. like this weird I don't know narrative. sometimes Comics be like oh San. Francisco like they had this idea it was. all [ __ ] yeah it was all [ __ ].
like they were like oh they're tied up. there or they're you don't think so I do. I do not every time I've played San. Francisco it doesn't feel the way that I. was prepared for it to feel cuz they're. your fans no but even when I no when I. first was starting out touring when I. first did when I first played uh punch. you know whatever it was still great I. mean maybe I was also just a little I. think I was expecting worse and so it. turned out I was like [ __ ] this is great. I don't but I think that that narrative. was just filled into into our brains for. some reason and I just assume the worst.
but now even more so it's phenomenal I. mean I have so much fun when I go. because that was always a big comedy. Town San Francisco was like big a lot of. great Comics coming out of there you. know Ally of course right me and Louis. that's way you started right so you feel. like it might have been tight huh I find. it I find it every time I go there I'm. like it's beautiful maybe I could live. here and then I do a set like just. trying to work out around town I'm like. no I couldn't I can't work out here oh. wow but that's different that's that. that's at like the little bar shows. where I'm just working out between. I feel like that's bar shows in any City. are going to feel a little unwelcoming.
maybe it's the being in New York for so. long because I've been living there for. like 15 years it changes the west coast. up and down the West Coast the crowds. feel different than except for San Diego. San Diego San Diego and Irvine are both. pretty dope but love them we have so. much fun in San Diego so much fun yeah. that's cuz he's from down there too so. it's chaos yeah I love it there yeah. that that show we did there was magical. I we we get to we get like an all. Mexican audience down south it's my. [ __ ] favorite it's my [ __ ]. favorite wow they they they want a party.
like they just want a full show to just. go nuts they're not they're they're live. right away there is no like warming them. up you know it's awesome yeah they are. loyal fans too oh my God yeah Bobby. you've done like towns you've done like. that Southwest Circuit that like you. really have to be like you know it it. definitely is like the Tex Mech circuit. like Corpus Christie I Lov it I've never. like I I've never played there wow you. never did any of that cuz it's. Whatchamacallit I'm uh you know El. Diablo Blanco right white man they just.
hiss at you yeah I I've done El Paso. that's fun yeah I have you done El Paso. all the Texas oh my God I played the Mal. de oo the evil. ey some kind of. May yeah but you know um but there's. some markets I've never even played like. Montana North Dakota have you done those. we're trying to it do a Stan hope Doug. Stan is the only guy who really like has.
like paved the path through those kind. of areas where he just get in a van and. go from like bar show the bar show the. bar show that was like Wyoming Montana. bis I played the dtas you know but not. like he has so he's always the guy like. you know where to go yeah when you were. living out here did you ever do triple. runs do you know what that is I maybe. just a little bit but I didn't never I. never did the full one is anything is it. somewhere like. scissoring oh how about a trible run. there was a guy there was guy who used. to make a thing that that was it look at.
that Dave trible that was his name back. then and he would he would get young. Comics to play like SE rooms and you. would do holiday North Nevada Montana uh. you do Idaho and you do small little. yeah Stan hope I think talked to me. about doing them a few they be like six. to 10 hours apart so your days would be. [ __ ] yeah yeah you're in a van you're. you're driving yeah yeah and I lost. money I got I got two speeding tickets. trying to make the show really yeah and. I lost a bunch of money wow and I was.
crying the whole way like I'm [ __ ] I. can't pay for so sad it's it's sad how. like there aren't like good flights. anymore like the I guess I took it for. granted all those years like the like. flights to Idaho flights you know all. these different things it's so difficult. you know like to get to these towns but. I still miss doing the towns you know. yeah yeah what's your favorite Town what. do you like San Diego is your home base. go ahead I'll tell you my favorite clubs. yeah what's too funny I don't know the. way he said it was funny yeah I I I want. to get.
involved here we go Comedy on State. Street that's a great one [ __ ] love. it yeah Denver their Comedy Works. downtown okay I'm not yelling at you all. right just give us one more and then you. can l no I want to keep going all right. all right I got another one I know what. it is I bet Cleveland. h a great one Nick Nick yeah he is I. mean I love [ __ ] yeah so good and. after you do the week there does he give.
you like a bat with your name on it like. just here's a little something yeah. something like like you know I know you. have to fly and you're going to have to. get this to airport. security yeah you know you don't mind. carrying this wooden train that these. pris they're big fancy but even when you. I've stopped by like when we play CL I. stopped by the club that's and he was. there and he was so like you want a meal. yeah let me make you something like he's. like the nicest guy I wish I went you. didn't let me go. and then there's that little alley. Printer's Alley they call it yeah.
Printer's Alley that's the that's what. it's on oh that's right that little. alley with the coffee shop in the. restaurants so tight so um and then but. they used to one have one in bellw in. Seattle called Parlor. Live it's no longer there anymore yeah. what's in Seattle now what club is it. laughs but it's weird it's one of those. cities where it's like there's not. really a big Club there just laughs but. but yeah everything keeps shutting down. yeah yeah why why why do some cities. don't have a major like Boston does. Boston have one yeah Wilbur wi theer.
kind of taking over but there it's not a. comedy CL but it used to be a big comedy. well Nicks was there right ni Nick and. laugh Boston laugh Boston but they're. both smaller clubs it's weird Portland. has a better scene than Seattle and. Portland's a smaller City he and. Portland awesome oh yeah but my of the. improvs DC Improv give it up the best. give it up Allison H so good this is. great oh my God yeah it's but also but I. can't they don't give you the money you. want sorry well it is in a big basement. we're only going to give you this amount. and that's it this is what we give every.
right I'm like yeah but uh but I'm going. to sell it out yeah is this recent or. years ago maybe 10 years ago okay well. you're going to get more money now okay. okay okay Dave [ __ ] man I mean honestly. otherwise play the uh Kennedy Center. okay but here are towns I don't like. pittsbur Pittsburgh really I'm going. there Pittsburgh improv I can't wait. prove Bobby raw come that you like it. yeah it's F it's just uh what was I.
going to say like it's me it's more. about the flight that's the direct. flight so I'm in okay direct flight big. deal oh I have some [ __ ] right here and. I want to say talk [ __ ] right now let's. hear it Hartford Funny Bone and Virginia. Beach Funny Bone no [ __ ] them wow they. had me one time right one [ __ ] time. and then I try to go back and they're. like it's not for us really yeah it's. not for us it's not for us wow because I. show my little pee people love that it's. for.
everybody everyone knows I could see in. Connecticut cuz that's a rough Market I. mean there's no I play the casino there. that's what you I've never heard of a. being like I will sell out your club and. they're like no. thanks yeah well the contingency is his. penis I mean that's well I didn't like I. pulled it out I just you know I'm wild. yeah you're crazy I'm free and I'm wild. up there you know but the beauty is. you're not for everybody and they're not. for you so that's a yeah but but it's. it's a business right so if I'm selling. tickets don't you ever just want to like. uh rent out the parking lot across the. street say I'm doing my own show and say.
[ __ ] you to them I fantasize about that. all the time Stan hope used to do he did. that at the um JFL at the JFL thing and. who's got the last laugh I be it's Doug. am I right yeah this one he would. outlive JFL did he really do that yeah. he had his own party it was dope he. rented out a car wash and he just had it. in the car wash and everybody kept. dripping away and going over to his. party because it was [ __ ] incredible. was awesome oh my want if you could do. that yeah because they dissed him in.
some way or what yeah yeah yeah yeah. okay I think I think it was also that. but he also kind of he just likes making. fun [ __ ] take place and just a place for. Comics he does like do like all the you. know the laws corporate hubbub yeah well. it was like the cool thing was it's. always you know those parties up there. like they're kind of parties but you're. kind of sh smoing so it's not really fun. also agents don't know how to have fun. and you know execs don't know how to. have fun he made an act he had an fun. party at JFL right mostly for Comics.
yeah yeah Doug is my favorite comic so. of all time you think yeah no I think. Doug nobody does like him no one ever. he's like uh the Whatchamacallit he he's. the original I think who's your least. favorite comic of all time well in the. in this room. or you did the lights. again did you have a story where you and. I when you and him stopped talking for. some reason was there like ever a. Fallout with you guys no when you guys. were writing together why did it stop it. was. we were riding together for like 4 days. when I opened for him it wasn't like it.
wasn't like months and months ring thing. I no it was a brief it was a brief and. he moved yes he always he would come to. New York he's like you look pale go back. to LA everything sucks here because. you're the I'll be honest with you out. of all these years of riding with so. many people you were the best one thank. you that's very nice no one takes it. more he really does the work but he he. understands also the way I talk and my. voice and he was able to not like cut. around the fat on the setups and stuff. so we can get to the thing and you were.
just able to like get my um Cadence down. oh thanks and so and then you moved and. like the couple of jokes that we did I. still have it in my ax sometimes awesome. and it's like and it's like where the. come back wow I'm back so let's do it do. you live here now yeah I have I'm here. in New York but I am here yeah no but I. I thought it was going to be like we. only worked for 4 days and then we wrote. The Karate Kid like it at together it's. just spitball and I'm writing it down. and then I'm playing this guy and I'm. like Mr Miyagi and he's like watch out.
Daniel and it's like boom next thing you. know Emmy I mean whatever that is. a just come back man but I would love to. work with you again that would that. would it's well maybe I mean I mean how. many dates do you do with Dave on the. road he's a headliner he very he's his. own guy yeah less and less as it as it. is but uh yeah ohome okay I'm I don't. want to downgrade you as a feature my my. bad as a headlight I I know that you're. headlin right congratulations you have. your own special and everything. congratulations on.
YouTube on there it's on YouTube all. right I plug HS over a million watch out. beheading videos watch out Islamic jahad. jamah I'm heading your. way every anyway yeah welcome back yeah. I'd like to beet your wife too oh yeah. you should she's really nice okay I like. this will be great your wife makes a. mean uh what is that again turn soup. you'll love it makes a great give me a.
name something I didn't buy Ukrainian. bride this is she's a she's not turnup. suit she's a very nice lady Italian lady. from West CO from the West Coast she's. from the west coast and we but we met in. New York I think when you live in New. York you're kind of still drawn to. California people yeah um so you not. Dave no well he's from New York you know. Dave is there a date where you're gonna. be like okay this is I'm getting I mean. is there an age where you're I'll be 60. next year it's going to either happen. then or no it's either that or I started. dog Sanctuary I figured this got like. one of those things like yeah you know.
the dogs get me you know that yeah but. you think can you see yourself doing it. at 70 no I don't think I'll live that. long I mean but i' say 60 I probably. make it next year but I already did a. will so did you really make a will yeah. but you but cuz I I I can like I I have. arthritis in my hands now no you do yeah. yeah I'm just I can see feel myself. getting old that sucks my knees you know. those nun really do when you mishandle. them all the time it just gets your.
that's true that's true oh so you're. thinking Now's the Time now or never. right what do you mean with a with a. woman right you want to get a yeah I I'm. I think I'm well I talked to this girl. this morning she's she's just had a baby. okay so that's the girl you're kind of. hoping no no she was telling me she like. B she goes Bobby I'm telling you I don't. know why I didn't do this earlier this. is the best thing that's ever happened. to me oh how old is she she's probably. 34 age for it right right I'm trying to. I'm trying right now I like like right.
now no not right now but like no but she. is ovulating like so I have to I have to. I have to go and bust it you want to get. out of here no I mean like we'll see. what time we get how old are you I'm uh. 44 so it's it's that's another great age. yeah it's good age they're all good ages. they're good AG look at your staff of. young young men over. there well that great fathering years. our vampire Andre he's. 116 that's a great age not having a baby. yeah I'm regretting it regretting it.
right. now be real really no I do yeah I mean. like uh you know relationship whatever. but I it would be nice to have some kids. but honestly um you know the lifestyle. we have is not very conducive a lot of. the road stuff is just you know endless. amount of travel and all that kind of. stuff but yeah I would like to you know. yeah but you could still me Steve Martin. did it late well but he's a genius. though everybody always brings him up. there's a lot of there's a lot of. legendary comics like but Albert Brooks. and but these guys are like one of the. kind genius Dave yeah you are that yeah.
all right but I can't see me and my son. on a trible. run son you ever been to a comfort in. Montana son but you know you're a legend. right I don't like I know I'm just. saying I don't say it I know but you're. like somebody that's like don't I know. I'm going to no I don't what are you. smoking for we're all in the I'm not. smoking I'm just getting nervous but I'm. hey we're all we're all we're all in the. trenches together I know but I know but. I'm just I dude let me say you want to.
smoke yeah I want to smoke now too what. I want to say is like I have Asian kids. come up to me and go oh man dude like. thank you and you're let you know what I. mean and I go I haven't made it yet you. know that's the feeling yeah I haven't. like I'm still trying to discover and. get get to the next level or whatever so. it doesn't feel it feels like I'm old. when they say that but in in it's true. to them yeah no that they they look up. to me and they when they were young they. saw me on Mt TV or whatever I might be. and wait what I'm listening okay so any.
it was about me for a minute wasn't it. yeah that to no but I like that just I. wish you could both accept that about. yourselves and stop talking [ __ ] to. yourselves in your heads you know yeah. yeah easy Dr Seuss whoever you are Dave. no but I was just going to. say but whenever somebody comes at you. with that like dude you like you don't. know man like like you're it's always. your worst day it's it always for me. it's like oh my God my catherer fell out.
what are you. saying yeah yeah but yeah you hate it I. I'm I'm just not a compliment guy but I. I understand like we've been doing this. for decades and the thing that that. people really don't understand is that. you know the the the best Comics are the. ones that are fun hang offstage and on. stage and you're definitely both of. those man like it's just you're you're a. good guy and always good to us so you. know it's a scene it's a it's a. lifestyle it's a lifestyle yeah I think. a lot of the new Comics they come here. and they kind of go like um do you have.
any advice they'll say and I'll be like. well get comfortable shoes because. you're going to be standing in front of. comedy clubs probably for the next 20. years you know it's that kind of thing. take care of your feet and it's never. what they want to hear but it really is. like you got to like commit to it you. know and once you can like there's. nothing more you ever want to do so it. it is unbelievable I mean you never. think because remember the early days. where you're like I don't know how I'm. going to do it I mean what was your. backup there was there I I didn't have. one with your love of Art and.
history yeah and so I just just remember. going how and then I'm so glad I didn't. quit yeah that's what that's what it is. just just not quitting well there's. there's hard work and talent but yeah. not quitting is all I know you got to. have that I believe more in hard work. than talent but I agree that there are. some people that are just like G gifted. at this but I'd say that the uh the hard. work especially like you know when. things like you have those those highs. and lows and when like you're like we we. talk about this all the time like just. this no new material I can't believe it.
like we're trying and listening to tapes. and all stuff and then they finally get. like the the clouds part and like God. look down on you or whatever you're like. okay great well this will keep me going. till the next you know till the next run. so that feeling is so and when you first. start that's what it is you're like oh. my god oh I figured something out. that'll keep me going you know yeah. that's. it that's it I like it is something. happening under the. table no nothing no no I'm I'm listen.
I'm I I'm absorbing what you just said. the information yeah and that's right I. have to take more risks that's what it. is is that what you got out of I think I. got out of yeah I got you got Tove. you're you got to start I would love to. you keep saying that but we should just. do un let let's just move on from it I. don't want talk about so we're not going. to do it again what about do you. exercise yeah I do. what I think that's a little I think. it's a little personal I sorry my bad my. bad no no you do the I just had my um my. shoulder operated on and that was like.
uh six months ago and then you have to. ease your way back in that's what I so. uh I do like a little hotel workout but. this is the guy really he knows he. actually goes to the hotel gym which I. don't like to do he does that he's that. I can see that I love it so it keeps me. kind of s a little sane yeah especially. because it it's like a I like the. scheduling of it all because if I say. I'm going to go get coffee and write and. read and hang for a minute then I'll go. make sure just go to the gym from this. time to this time then I feel like I'm. good to not yeah you know what I mean I.
feel like it frees me up in some weird. way I I can't sleep if I don't ex do. some kind of exercise I got some kind of. crazy I'll I'll go sometimes on the road. I'll go for super super late night walks. I'll just walk for a while I'll get. tired yeah I'll just think it out put. stuff down on my phone and then I'll be. exhausted by the time I get home I like. to walk as well yeah love it what when. we're on the road I'll wake up and then. I'll go to the lobby and he's already. had a full day day he's got golf clubs. you know bring running Sho I mean he's.
got all kinds of things meetings he had. and I'm literally just like I'm just. like what what what what is it and I I. just feel like I started a small. business by the time but it's like um. like you just wake up at 800 in the. morning it's like 7 o'clock every day 7. like when you're on the road what time. do you wake up I I don't really sleep on. the roads I I keep falling asleep in my. clothes which I do you really cuz I. there's something about like you put. that hotel TV on and it's always like. movies like oh my God Lord of the Rings.
of Trilogy and I'll be like I'll just. watch a few minutes and just like the. whole thing goes and I'll just wake up. my clothes and I'll run downstairs to. smoke so I'd say the majority of my. action on hotels is going out to smoke. coming back in uh reassuring the desk. guy out front that I'm not um you know a. threat you know and then I'd like to. walk that's what I do and you know I I I. think um especially if you're like it's. rare to be in a downtown now it's. usually all these clubs are out out of. town so you're like walking on highways. you're going you know like all these.
weird things but when you're downtown. there's a lot to do so or at least walk. around so that I try and do that do you. try to get hotels with balconies so you. can smoke on the balcony you can't do. that they don't want you to do that. either oh really yeah every uh every fun. thing about smoking has been ruined even. in Vegas they don't they there's very. few smoking hotels now it's funny. because there's a hotel we're playing in. Vegas and there's a hotel right near us. that is part of the chain of hotels that. they own and one of them is non-smoking. and non-gambling and it's like right off.
the strip wow who was that for it's. called ARA or ARA what is it Arya right. yeah what is it an. Amish it's so strange though it's. non-smoking non-gambling it's not it's. right is it it's not a casino or is it a. hotel just a hotel oh wow which is right. next to where we're playing it was weird. cuz they talked to us about that they. were like do you want to stay at this. this or whatever well do you want to. stay there no why cuz I want smoking and. gambling I that's [ __ ] Las Vegas. don't have. Corner though man what's that don't they. have like nightclubs and stuff there.
isn't it like it's still like party. there no no Dancing noish Yeah it's foot. loose and the lights are an illusion. it's actually there is no. lights CGI no that's just the the. brightness of the people in there we're. such good people hey're great I would. live there I mean if IAS Second City I. would probably live there really let's. move I'm with you buddy that be cool do. they got great restaurants now do yeah. 24 hour 24 hours yeah you were talking. about that excess save a couple of bucks. on taxes really Nevada no state tax yeah.
Nicholas Cage oh why we got a go n Nikki. lives there you know yeah Nikki's there. that be and Paulie Shore Paulie's back. now there's a lot of guys we know that. live there yeah yeah yeah yeah and then. you stage time what that stage time. doesn't Regan live there now. Brian but there that club Wise Guys have. you been there no it was great really it. was the one like off the strip it's like. all like uh it was in the strip mall and. I'm telling you like it was so much fun. like uh Jeff Ross was in town so he came. by did shows with me and it was just U.
the locals they get it you know like. talk about a more jaded crowd like you. know they like live with these Cirus. solay people so it's like when they yeah. you know and it's also like pretty. pretty uh big coin out there to go to. see any show it's so expensive so like. comedy's pretty reasonable on that level. but like Amphitheater style not so much. what's the room seat probably about 400. oh wow that's great yeah I want to play. that why you kill it yeah I'll play. there a little sneaky you do s like. sneaky one nighter there yeah let's do. sneaky white that'll be fun no sneaky.
white white people are sneaky sure youve. never seen the. movies Oppenheimer sneaky sneaky that's. not the Pearl Harbor was sneaky but what. they did sneaky sneaky. sneaky and then bum bum they all. die put a Japanese person in that movie. man who. what yeah it's already over what do you. mean they already it's done we again. well up Hummer too man well you were the. one you wanted more black people in. Black Panther and yeah I did limit W's.
too small for me too small he wants more. bigger more he wants more look at oh my. God there's a documentary on um I talked. about this on HBO about oh my God what. about what about [ __ ] the Hiroshima. Nagasaki oh right yeah and then um the. people so people ran into like they. these Vats of water this is the fun part. of the show yeah took a turn you're. going to love you know when when the. bombs hit and have you heard of Black. Rain yes no what is it that's the.
radiation coming down with the soot and. all kind of stuff yeah yeah yeah when. when the bomb that's the actual material. stuff that goes up off the initial glass. but people got people got so thirsty. they drank item yeah and. then well with the nuclear explosion. they have they had uh Shadows of people. that would just melted actually into the. uh side Sidewalk cement why'd you wink. at me just now you winked him right back. me I know you know why I winked at you. we love it that was a that was actually. a cool movie that was uh what's his name.
Michel like Black Rain baraco Rain could. you ever could you ever be like an. action. person mov guy that's actually the best. cuz like there's very few lines for. people like us like yeah watch out. you're fun you're. being Bob would be great in action movie. thank you so much Lou two days ago I got. offered one yeah what is it the lead of. a [ __ ] action movie yeah what is it. it's a doble ganger where I'm a. doubleganger that's great you gotta say. the word first yeah you're a Bogle.
ganger doble ganger quite frankly I. think I'd be a good assassin I do think. you would be a great assassin my friend. yeah number one I don't sleep that's. right right and I I'm very focused like. when I'm playing stard Valley it's a. farming simulation game I'm sorry yeah. yeah for his ancestors for my ancestors. yeah I'm very focused and what that's. why I'm good at video games is because I. I like grinding so I'm very good at like. noticing things you would would a scope. be hard for you to look through though. I'd get a one more adjusted my eyes and.
I I I think I could St. sit sit there put your arm put your arm. straight out can you hold your arm. steady put your arm straight forward. straight just straight out you going to. shame me you know how steady is your. hand that's the whole big thing about. snipers oh yeah steady oh [ __ ] yeah. Steady. Hand look at that this is great that's. shaking you do. yours shaking no it's not look at it. yeah me either then pretty good you guys. are both pretty good I think you can. both be S thanks it looks like it looks.
like you both were hiling a young Hitler. hey little guy keep it up keep it up. young Hitler coming soon one day you. will be. great I'm sorry to funny our way out of. that one oh that that was during the '92. LA yeah that yeah yeah good old days do. you remember that yeah yeah I was here. the Koreans were yes up on the [ __ ]. store oh yeah fighting look at him. laughing oh I I sh the blocker. okay. they thank why don't you thank our.
guests for being on the show we're. really going to end on that yeah I want. to let that sit why guys why it's always. nice oh we did a long time it's always. nice to put it in that spot did we do. long did we really do a long time yeah. awesome see we're breaking it through. over an hour I love it yeah thank you. that was long it was good um thanks for. so let's let's plug your Dave Netflix. special yes Hot Cross Buns Hot Cross. Buns Netflix and big thanks to all the. fans who've been watching it supporting.
it tweeting it all that stuff and my. comedy friends awesome dude I can't. thank respect love to you guys thank you. yeah Lou cats yes I got a new special on. YouTube and uh I'm gonna plug some dates. too I'll be at the uh no don't do it. okay yeah please please do can I I'm at. zany in Chicago and I'm at the punch. line in San Francisco and I'm in the DC. Improv also go to Lou cast.com to get. any of those tickets I will say this. before we go I really do I want to give. you I know this is annoying for you Dave. but massive amount of props for you're.
always such a supporter of the comedy. community and Comics are my good friend. Ian who you know you know Ian yes just. with Ian in Austin he crushed it check. out Ian uh be Ian that's his podcast and. I would say if you're GNA see a guy live. he's the guy this guy great joke writer. I mean talking here this guy blows me. away every time I see stuff so I have a. compliment for you okay oh this is great. it's like a circle. jerk um and this is the truth thing yeah. so any comic thanks for listening you. guys have a good.
night good night no do it please no any. young comic when they're like I don't. know how to write or whatever right I. always like refer to them to certain. albums right and skanks For The Memories. in terms of switches and just like you. know being in the pocket and that you. know and and they they I always refer. them to that album it's one of the best. comedy albums of all time I think it is. yeah it's just the jokes are so good oh. thanks yeah so. anyway thanks for being a bad friend.
woo. wo. woo. wo.
