Privileged Bottom | Ep 332 | Bad Friends

Hey, bad friends. I'm going to be. playing September 7th in St. Louis. Well, it's St. Charles, but it's right. next door to St. Louis, Missouri. >> You got to go. >> You got to go. Please come. >> Want to see the best comic in the world. this year. >> You got to see me, baby. I'm at the. Marrist Star Casino September 7th there. in St. Charles/Saint Louis, Missouri. That's my last show of the year. So, come out and see me. Go to andrewino.com. for those tickets. That's andino.com. St. Louis, ST. CHARLES, MISSOURI. HEY, >> GUYS. WE have new merch. I love these. shirts. These are my favorite ones. >> Look at how great this shirt is right. now. This is incredible. An amazing Bad. Friends artist made this for us and we.

want you guys all to be wearing it on. your person right now. You can buy these. shirts right now in red or black at. badfriend.com. That's badmerch.com. >> Go get the shirts. >> You two are bad friends. >> Who are these two idiots? >> A white dude and an Asian dude. >> You two are disgusting. >> You two are something. >> We're bad friends. >> Christine. Oh no.

>> That's where you went. >> Christine. >> Christine. >> Wow. >> Christine, >> I did it on Wednesday. >> Did you really? Is it that good? >> It's fantastic. >> Phantom of the Opera. >> It's I don't know anything about the. story. >> So good. >> Tell me the story. >> It's a ghost story. >> It's a ghost story. >> It's a ghost story. >> It is. >> But he's half white. What's the mask. about? >> Yes. >> Interesting. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I don't like it. >> Can I tell you something? >> Tell me about it. >> The cast I went to Yeah.

>> The Phantom is black. >> Is it really? >> Yeah. Yeah. >> And he has a white half white face. >> Well, yeah. He's in white face for half. >> I like that. >> That's the Phantom is black. >> I want them black. >> Okay. >> Yeah. Yeah. [laughter]. What? >> Sure, man. >> I want my Phantom's black. >> Me, too, dog. >> All right. And my grim reaper reapers. >> Phantom uh was fantastic. >> Wow. >> So, it makes sense. Is there opera? >> Oh yeah. >> Okay. >> It's called Phantom of the Opera. >> I I understand [laughter] that, but.

there could be not. >> Christine. >> Oh, >> come to my. fire. >> The. Phantom of the Opera. >> Dude, it's so funny. >> It's good. >> I loved it. >> I love it. [laughter]. >> You're You're gay. That's what you are. You're gay. Yeah. 100% undoubted. >> Yeah, because I will not go. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. I. >> You would never go. >> Yeah. I I went to the Lion King one.

time. >> Is it the same? >> Same. >> It's just It's a play. >> Yeah. It's still a Is it an opera? Would. you say they're singing? >> No, it's a musical. >> Oh, it's it's a musical. What's the. difference between musical and an opera? >> Fancy knows. He went to school for this. >> Yeah. >> For real. >> Yeah, for real. >> Yeah. He wants to know. Musical is a. modern. >> operas are generally sung through. classical performances utilizing. non-amplified oporatic voices. >> So you have to sing like [screaming]. this.

>> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> But if I sing like this, this is a. musical. >> kind of. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. That's pretty good. >> I I see. >> I'm coming. I. >> I understand now. >> Kind of bummed he got his eyes done now. He can see everything that's on that. screen. He used to not be able to read. it. >> Yeah. [laughter]. >> Now now he can see everything. >> I can see everything. I can read it. >> It was incredible. The the whole cast. did a great job. It was really cool. >> Did you go backstage? >> No, I sat in the. >> Oh, I thought you know. [laughter]. >> Oh, no. That's why you don't go. >> NO. YOU WENT TO the wedding. How was the. wedding? >> You said the VIP.

>> How was the wedding? >> I didn't go. >> Yeah, you did. I KNOW YOU WENT. >> YOU LIAR. >> YEAH, I SAW THE PHOTOS. >> Didn't go. >> Yeah. How was the How was the wedding? >> I threw up on Taylor Swift's dress. >> Yeah. Everywhere. >> Was it star-studded? >> Yeah. Yeah. >> Yeah. [laughter] No, dude. It was just. cousins. It was all. >> thousand cousins. >> It was a thousand. >> A thousand cousins. [laughter]. I see. Well, like, so are you. >> Christine, [laughter].

>> when you're in that situation, are you. nervous or are you having fun? >> I'm having a blast. >> There just certain people that aren't. allowed to go. >> Certain people aren't allowed to go. >> or or are not friends in that, you know, that's fine. I'm not, >> you know, if like there's certain. weddings I would probably be invited to. >> Mhm. Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Who Who's. >> like you know uh Joel that drummer from. the comedy store who's a door man. >> Joel Jimenez. >> Yeah. Yeah. I think you would. >> I don't Maybe not. I don't think so. >> Yeah. But I don't think huge you know I. think that maybe I would get invited to.

certain. >> m. >> I know but not but not the level of I. can't think of anyone in the level might. not get to. >> I don't think so. You know what I. realized the other day when I was. swimming? That if I was thrown overboard. in the middle of the ocean, like if I. was on a cruise or whatever, >> Yeah. >> I would survive for six minutes. >> because I tried to test it. I timed it. And waiting in a pool for 6 minutes, that's my limit. [laughter]. >> I would have drowned. >> 6 minutes is pretty good. >> Yeah. Without any like platform or. something to hold on to. >> Average time for the Coast Guard to come.

get you, it's like an hour. >> Yeah. What's the average time? >> Dead. You're totally dead. under an hour. to several days. >> Yeah, there's no way I would I would. die. >> But see, it says hypothermia. Depending. on where you fall in, >> you fall in down there in the Bahamas, you're going to be. >> listen to me. My pole is heated. >> Okay. There are no waves. >> Yeah, >> there are no sharks. >> Yeah, probably. >> Or orcas. I timed it. Six [ __ ]. minutes. I'd be dead. >> We should stuff We should put sharks and. stuff in your pool and make a wave. machine in there to see how long we. could last. >> Yeah. Well, without the sharks first.

>> No, put the shark. >> Okay. Put the shark. >> Put the ones that don't bite. 2 minutes. The ones that just tickle you. >> like like a tiger. >> Yeah. Tiger shark. Yeah. Yeah. >> 50 to 60° you could last one to two. hours. >> Wow. >> In 50. You'd have to have something to. float on like Jack did and rose like a. door. >> We Let's rip a door off in your house. and put it in the pool and reenact. Titanic. >> Oh, I can jack it. >> I can rose it. >> Oh, [laughter]. yeah. Yeah, you can rose it. Yeah%. Yeah. Yeah, I'll jack it. >> They're They're going to come soon. Bye. >> Yeah. Goodbye. I Can I be honest with.

that? is they could have both fit on. that door. >> Not only that, I would have jacked it. >> You would have killed yourself. >> No, I would have been like pushed her. off. >> and then got on stayed on. >> That's reverse jack. >> Yeah, I reverse the jack. >> What's the other guy's name that snuck. onto the the family the women and. children boat? That guy her ex-husband. >> He's the guy. >> His fiance. Sorry. He snuck on the women. and children boat. >> Who plays that? Billy Zayn. >> You do? >> Yeah. >> That's I would do the Billy Z. [laughter] Yeah. Yeah. >> You would have gotten on Well, I'm. small. >> Yeah. You're like a little.

>> Yeah. Yeah. They would see that I was. >> women, children, and Asians. >> Yeah. [laughter]. I go, "Hello, how are you?" Yeah. >> Is that an Asian woman? >> Yeah, I [laughter] am. Hello. >> Redheads just jump in and die. >> Yep. [snorts]. Speaking of death, I think Mitch. McConnell is still alive. >> Yep. >> Is he? >> He doesn't know he's alive, though. >> They keep talking about them. >> Yeah, I don't think he's alive, but um. he I think he's brain dead, but I think. he's still alive. >> Hey, go to the first go to images. >> Yeah. How bad is his PR team that.

they're not trying to get rid of these. pictures? >> Just get rid of that. Just be like, "Don't publish it. Don't publish that.". >> That's what he looks like. >> I know. So, cut it out. >> Yeah. >> You know, sometimes you can Google. someone and it only shows photos of them. when they were like 40. >> Yeah. >> You know what I mean? It's like this. guy, they're letting him put every Get. it out of there. >> I mean, is it me? Is he not hot? [laughter]. >> I don't think he is, BROTHER. >> ALL RIGHT, GOOD. >> I just don't. >> I don't want to shame the guy. I just. don't think that like I don't know what. is he hot. Not even when he was young. >> As a young guy, he wasn't hot.

>> No. Didn't work. Never had like a So he. always was in an awkward phase. >> Yeah. He never got out of it. >> Yeah. >> And then he also marched with Martin. Luther King. >> Did he? >> I don't know. Was he chasing him? >> Did he? >> Yeah, I think he was chasing him. Is. that true or no? >> Yeah, there he is. >> Where is he? >> And there's his wife right there next to. him. [laughter]. >> Yeah. >> A black guy and an Asian guy. That's. >> where Which one is? Is that. >> That is not Martin Luther King. That's. just a black guy. >> Yeah. >> You think that's MLK? >> No, I heard that. I saw a Tik Tok. That.

is not MLK, >> bro. Someone on TikTok was like, "That's. MLK." That's just a black guy. >> He attended his march. He went to the. march. That doesn't mean he marched with. him. >> Yeah, attended. Wait, he attended it. That's. >> No, but there was like a big gathering. He probably showed up to the gathering. to be like, "How can we get this guy? I'm trying to get him.". >> Oh, I see. >> Plotting and planning. >> I thought he changed through time. I. think people do that. >> I doubt it. >> Yeah. Like I love black people and then. as they get money and, you know, power.

and stuff. I don't like him anymore. [laughter]. for some reason. >> I'd say he's so such he's like how old. he is. >> 90 what? >> He's 84. >> No, he's 90 by now. >> No, he's 84. >> Mitch should should not be able to. >> And also Barry Manalo, it's like it's. like it's over and so you had your time. >> You had your time. >> Yeah. It's like why don't you want to. just lay on a beach? >> [screaming]. [laughter]. >> Have you seen that? The mouth this mouth.

the mouths don't move. It's the. creepiest thing I've ever seen. >> Yeah. >> That they've got him like propped up. >> and it's like his teeth are doing I'm. like this is ventrilo. I think Jeff. Dunham is is doing Barry Manalon now. >> Yeah. You know the best white song is. >> give me the best white song. >> The the best song you guys ever written. and Christopher Cross sailing sailing. It's like the best white. >> By the way, look at that photo of him.

>> I know. >> Nothing else. They didn't have any other. pictures. >> Here's why I like it. You can imagine. yourself, right, being a black guy on a. boat. >> with three other white guys, right? You're sailing, [laughter]. >> rowing. >> You are sailing and rowing, right? >> And then when the boat comes back, right? >> How are you on the boat? Because you. wanted to be on the boat. [laughter]. >> Yeah, I want to be on the boat. The. minorities are gone, you know. >> Oh, you're a black guy in the boat with. all white guys missing. >> Yeah, just like what happened just now. [laughter]. I was trying to do a reference of that. guy. Black guy missing.

>> We got it. >> I don't think you did. >> I got it. >> I I don't It's a good joke. >> It's a great joke. >> I don't know why I said that. I. apologize. >> It's fine. >> No, sometimes I hit Am I missing today? >> You're hitting home runs. >> Yeah, I don't think as far as I'm. concerned. I like the color of that. beanie, by the way. >> Thank you. Um. >> I tell you. >> what I think retirement is. >> key. [snorts]. >> Yeah. You hear people talk about. retirement like, "Oh, you're not gonna. like it." You know, it's a repetition. There's no goal in life. That's when you. start dying. >> Sounds great. >> It sounds great to me. Yeah. Let's get.

out of here. >> Just being in a on a beach all day like. drinking sweet drinks. >> You're going to be in Hawaii 100% on a. private little beach. >> Not private. Amongst everybody. >> Okay. [snorts] He needs recognition. >> Exactly. YEAH. NO, [laughter]. I HONESTLY BELIEVE that. >> is that Bobby Lee all day. A sign that. says it's me, Bobby Lee. [laughter]. >> There's no way. There's no way. So, um, a small little place, you know, I mean, with I want to grow farm. >> Grow farm. >> Yeah. Yeah. I'm going to farm. I want to.

farm. >> Melons. Big melons. What could you farm? >> Whatever they have like sugarcane, you. know. >> Well, they pineapple. They used Dole was. there for you. >> Yeah. Pineapple things that in that. environment you can grow. >> something. >> I want to learn how to grow. >> I like that. >> Yeah. I want to learn. I want to have. like a big yard for like cats and dogs. and stuff. >> I love that. >> And just like, you know, lay on a beach. >> Now, would you ever split a farm with me. or No, >> I would. >> Cannabis, tobacco, cocoa, cava, and nut. palm. >> These are drugs you can farm. >> Okay. >> Probably cava. >> Opioids maybe. >> I love cava.

>> Why are you doing that? We don't We're. not going to He's going to farm legal. substances he can distribute. >> No, he can relapse once he retires. >> You know what, Carlos? First of all, you. you know the process of from cocoa to. cocaine. Oh, you would so hire people. for that. >> As someone that has hired a few people. to do that, it is still very hard to do. >> Maybe I can gentrify cocaine like. they're doing with sardines. >> Oh, you can get the leaves in Los Felis. >> Yeah, like the plants and. >> you know too much about this. I'm a. little nervous. >> I think if you gentrify old school. drugs, that's my thing.

>> That's cool. >> Because they're doing it like you know. with Fishwife. You know what Fish Wife. is? >> No. Is it a new restaurant? >> No. If No, it's a sardine. So, back back. in the day, right? >> Teach me, baby. >> I'll tell you, right? Thousands of years. of people like poor people would eat. sardines in cans. >> I like, >> but it's super good for you. Yeah. >> It's really good protein. >> And And she, you know, kind of. gentrified it and made it like cool. >> It's like what they do with lobster. >> Yes. Exactly. >> Serve it to prisoners. >> Right. So, she has that fish white.

smoked Atlantic salmon is so good. >> So, it's a brand of of fish. >> It's a brand of fish in a tin and a can. Uh, got it. >> Right. So, why don't we do it with. opium? >> Okay. [laughter]. >> I think you're right. >> Yeah. I won't do it because I'm sober, but it's like, you know. >> Hey, right here. I'll do it. >> Yeah, >> I'll do it. >> What would we call it? >> Smoke husband. >> Summer school. >> Summer school. >> Yeah. >> Oh, summer school. >> Summer school is fantastic. All everyone. in this room had to take it. I'll tell. you that. >> Maggie says summer school and it's.

fentanyl. >> Damn, dude. We got to give you credit. for that. That's nuts. Bobby, what. should we call it? >> Summer spring. >> Okay. [laughter]. Sorry. Lake Lake lake. [laughter] wait boat. >> No. Um. >> Lake Elsenor. Lake Elsenor. >> Lake Elsenor. That's a cool. >> lake. Sail. >> No. >> Sail Lake. >> Sail Lake. No. >> Sail away Lake. >> Sail away Lake. >> Uh how about how about um. >> White Lady for Coke? >> White Lady's too literal. That's what. they call it on the streets. Yeah. Yeah.

>> White Sail. >> Yeah. White Ghost. >> They are usually. >> Oh, yeah. Yeah. >> Yeah. Except for Phantom this weekend. Anyway, we we'll [ __ ] up. We'll get a. marketing team. But. >> I got a new family for you to hate in. the farming world. >> I had this discussion with my in-laws at. the house about farming in central. California. >> The Restnik family. Do you know these. people? The the wonderful the they own. wonderful, you know, pump. You know, they own all of the water. Like. literally all of our water. >> Yeah. >> Check this out. [clears throat] Half of.

the world's nuts come from this family. right here. And these people look up the. uh click on his uh Wikipedia uh majority. stake in the current water bank. One of. California's largest underground water. storage facilities capable of storing. 500 billion gallons. Okay, check this. out. Every single year they use 120. billion gallons of water. 2/3 on nuts. This is enough to supply San Francisco's. entire population with water for a. decade. >> That's insane. >> Kill these. We don't need nuts. >> You know what we got to do?

>> We don't need nuts. >> We got to. >> Do we need pistachios? I I mean I like. walnuts. >> that I think this is pistachios and. almonds. >> But they're using the water for to sell. to sell water, right? >> They're using the water to make almonds. and pistachios. It c it takes a ton of. water to make them. >> Oh, I didn't know. Well, then. >> I don't need pistachios or almonds. anymore. Get rid of them. They're gone. >> They use the same water that uh fracking. >> fracking waste water, right? They got. criticized for that. >> Oh, really? >> We should capitalize on air. >> How do we bottle air? >> We got to bottle air. I think. >> I think you can do that from concerts.

So you can get like a Taylor Swift air. bottle. >> Will you Hey, will you buy the website. Bad Friends Air and we'll start. redistributing air from. >> What we need to do is take the air out. of the world [laughter] and then like. sell it back to the world. >> Do you want oxygen? >> Yeah, you want oxygen, but we secretly. buy from us. >> Took the air away. >> We could sell it from the Bad Friend. [clears throat] Studio like Bobby Lee. breathe this air. >> or air um buildings. >> No, dude. He wants to own I want to air. all I want to own all air. >> Bobby wants to own the atmosphere. >> Yeah. Yeah. So we we gobble up all the.

air, right? Take the air out of society. in the world, >> right? And go, "Oh, >> you want to breathe? >> Hey, rainforest, you want to breathe?". >> But they're like, "We have trees, but. it's like we got to take them away.". >> No, no, no. >> They create oxygen. >> Yeah, a high velocity fan. >> Okay, how about this? >> Okay, >> why don't we just start owning gravity? Let's go, >> DUDE. WE GOT TO OWN GRAVITY. >> WE GOT TO OWN GRAVITY, DUDE. >> YEAH. YEAH. >> They're out of here. >> Yeah. Yeah. Out of here, dude. >> Come down to Earth, pal. Some good. That'll be our. >> or let's double down once we get. gravity. Let's own black holes.

>> Okay, we'll get it all. >> Yeah, we'll get it all. And bending. space and time. >> Carlos heard black holes and piped up. real fast. >> But once you get the air, something. called the Bernelli effect happens where. all the air you get like you're immersed. by it. So you're. >> Yeah, of course you're immersed by it. cuz you're alive. >> You need to give it two to 5 ft of. space. >> Well, Bernelli will be the the the the. brand. >> the brand of our air. Yeah, you can. >> brand seal the gaps obviously. >> Could you imagine? We hire him to seal.

the gaps. None of them are sealed. >> We lose all of our air the first day. >> Isn't it crazy to think that like you. know everything is monetized? >> Yeah. >> Even simple things like water and. >> people have own the water. I know. >> So long. >> It's like and a lot of these water. companies you don't realize aren't. really that good for you. Oh, you mean. >> with microplastics and and and and such. >> They just caught that fancy olive oil. company. The one in the where you. squeeze. It's the little tiny droplet. that comes out. They sell them at fancy. places that has forever chemicals all in.

it. Olive oil company. They just got. caught with forever chemicals. >> That's why I buy pretty high-end olive. oil. >> I make my own. >> You have olive trees? >> Yeah. >> No, you [laughter] don't. >> Yes, I do. And. >> I see one tree and I Oh, you hand you. hand squeeze them. >> I hand I just. >> I do that with almond milk. >> You do? >> Yeah. I give almonds and I squeeze them. as hard as I can. >> Past baby forever chemical. We got them. in all of our blood. >> They got sued 2 hours ago by the New. York attorney general. >> Oh, really? It just happened. >> Yeah. >> Wow. Nice.

>> I bought a hair kit. >> What? >> Yeah. >> What are you talking about? >> Like on TikTok it was like, you know, I. mean, we send us your hair and we'll. tell you what's in your body. >> Stop sending people your stuff. >> Why. >> DNA? We don't want to send your DNA. >> No, it's a credible company. >> You know what you should do? Send your. dog's hair. >> Oh, I see. And they're like, >> Bobby, >> this is a huge problem. They call you. They're like, "Sir, can we have a. conversation with you?". >> Yeah. Are you half are you primitive? [laughter]. >> Yeah. You're like, I mean, I do feel I'm. awake all night. I do yell at the moon.

in the middle of the night. >> Yeah. There's going to be that new movie. coming. I'm excited. >> What? >> Because there's never really been. werewolf. >> A werewolf movie. >> Yeah. >> Teen Wolf Dog. >> No. No. >> One of my Robert Edgars. >> A scary one. >> Oh. Oh. A scare. Oh, a. >> glad they did. Nostu, dude. He did no. >> He's doing this. >> He's doing nost. >> Let him say it the way he wants to say. it. >> Yeah, you're [ __ ] Spanish couck. >> You Spanish couck, dude. >> Werewolf. And it's spelled like Fancy. would say it. Werewolf. [laughter].

>> Exactly. >> Because look at that. If that's not a. werewolf, >> isn't that the liver king? [laughter]. >> This is that guy. >> Wow. >> The werewolf. When does this come out? Next year. >> Probably at the end of this year. >> You should watch Check out the trailer. was pretty good. >> There's some good movies coming out, man. >> Who's in it? Zoom in. William Defoe. >> He's always in Robert. He was in the. lighthouse. He was in Osteru. Is that. right? >> Aaron Taylor Johnson. Lily Rose Depp. >> Yeah. >> Ralph Innocent. Simon Murnly. So, they. gave Yeah. Cool. Lily Rose Depp.

>> Well, she was in um Noat. Am I saying it. wrong? >> Yes. >> What is it? How do you spell it? >> Noseratu. >> Noserat. >> You say it however you want to say it. >> No, I don't want to say it correctly. >> No. >> No. No. >> Now, Lily Rose Depp, she was also in. Johnny Depp's Balls at one point. >> Yeah. But she was al Okay, let me say. something. If you watch No Fareto, right? She's amazing in that. >> You would be. >> Yeah. >> You would be if your stepmom pooped in. your bed, [laughter].

>> you'd have to have some kind of. >> Yeah. >> You'd have to have some kind of depth. >> Some trauma. >> Yeah. Some traumatic depth to make you a. good actor. >> Yeah. >> Who's here? >> Uh-oh. Uh-oh. >> Uh-oh. Ohom. It's black magic. >> Black magic in the house. Black magic. >> Black magic in the house. >> What are you doing? Are you a [ __ ] now? [laughter] Are you a [ __ ]. >> He's a [ __ ] from Compton. Black magic in the house. Blue. I'm.

almost 55 years old. Um I have a. girlfriend and um I have to admit I have. to use sometimes Bluetooth. >> That's not something you should be. afraid to admit. Many, many, many, many. millions of men need to do this. And. Fluchu now is upping their game with. Blue Chu Gold. It's better sex in a. tablet. They combine four ingredients. into one powerful solution. Two. ingredients are going to get you hard. physically. Boom. Boom. And two support. arousal. Woo! Woo! >> It It makes you desire it. >> It desires it in your brain. >> In your brain. And it's time to make. your bedroom noisy again. Nothing says.

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>> In the [ __ ]. [laughter]. >> How you doing, Black Magic? >> Good. Feeling good. >> You're looking good. >> You look good, man. >> Ladies and gentlemen, Black Magic is. back on the show. Woo woo. >> Good to see you, baby boy. >> So, uh I've been getting into the alien. thing a little bit more. >> You have? >> Yeah. I don't understand it. Um so the. hieroglyphics, >> right, >> in ancient times in the cave drawings, >> they show alien heads and alien things. So do you think the Egyptians and these. kind of um people witnessed and.

met aliens? >> 100%. >> You do? >> Yeah. >> What if they were the aren't they the. aliens? Nothing. >> See, I think they were the aliens. When. we say the aliens built the pyramids, that's who was there. >> I mean, cuz look at the size of them. things and just the science behind them. We can't figure it out. >> They keep Google. I've seen all these. videos where they try to emulate how to. how to do that. Doesn't work. >> Yeah. >> Well, the the Giza is um exactly. pointing to true north.

>> That's true. >> Why are you laughing, dude? [laughter]. >> That's not true. Bobby got. >> such Tik Tok brain. [laughter]. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's pointing to True. North. >> But it is. It is. >> true northwest. Kanye's child. [laughter]. >> She's doing a concert at top the. >> Yeah. And um also it's like um the the. Egyptians believed that we were It was. trying to um talk about how we're in the.

age of Pisces, but we're about to be in. the age of Aquarius. Oh, I wish it was. Sagittarius. >> Yeah. And in 150 years, the age of. Aquarius is going to happen. >> What the [ __ ] is that? >> You're supposed to know. >> Oh, you're supposed to know. That's why. I'm bringing it up, dude. >> I feel like black people always know. this. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. About the. >> age of Aquarius, >> the fifth dimension. >> My aunt was heavy into this [ __ ]. >> I know. Yeah. See, none of our aunts. were into this. >> She was teaching me this [ __ ] when I was.

young, and I'm I'm still [ __ ] up. I I. don't get it. >> Yeah. No, I don't either. That's what. I'm asking. What is it? Are we in the. age of Aquarius in 150 years? And then. what happens? And the Egyptians seem to. hint at it, right? And they have all. these like weird like hieroglyphic. I. can't say it. >> Hieroglyphics. >> Hieroglyphics. >> The age of Aquarius is an astrological. era characterized by a shift towards. collective consciousness, humanitaris, innovation, and interconnectedness. Sounds good. Astrologers calculate its. arrival based on the position of the. equinox is a roughly 26,000year cycle.

While the exact start date remains. heavily debated, many believe we are. transitioning into this new dawn right. now. >> That's insane. We're in the age of. Aquarius now. >> Well, we've been in the age. >> in conjunction with AI and all these. other things that are happening and. CERN, you know, that machine that they. shut down in what was it? Switzerland, Netherlands, where is it? >> But they just shut it down just for. maintenance. >> for for But that's what they told you. That's what they told you. >> They told you it's for maintenance. But. you know, it's really. >> You're not You know, do you work at. CERN? >> They are black holes and dimensions. these [ __ ] [laughter].

>> Yeah. Yeah. >> You probably didn't even know it. Then. the ship came in like, "What the fuck?". >> Yeah. >> They had no idea. >> Do you know much about CERN or No. >> Yeah. I don't know a whole not a whole. lot, but I know. >> Tell Tell us about it. >> Look at CERN. >> Well, CERN is just particle accelerator. It's just them colliding particles. >> What's that statue about? >> In the front of the That's right in. front of the CERN. >> Yeah. Explain that. >> That's the Ain't that the. >> Ali Wong was a part of it? I mean, [laughter] what's going on here? Is it that the who is that? The Indian.

goddess. >> I don't know. >> which one is. Aren't there thousands of. them? >> Yeah, it's like I forget, man. [ __ ] I. don't be. >> Shiva. When it come to the Is it Shiva? >> Is it Shiva? >> Mhm. >> Shiva. >> Okay. Okay. >> Did I get it? >> But why is it in front of the CERN. building? >> Why is the Shiva statue in front of the. CERN building is what we need to know. This is the kind of stuff that our fans. really need. I've. >> honestly we can talk about something. else. We can talk about something else. This is something I I think you're being. disrespectful. >> I'm more of a Christian guy myself. >> Shiva statue stands outside I'm the one.

that guessed it was Shiva. Stands. outside of the CERN building as a. symbolic gift from the Indian government. to celebrate its long-standing. scientific partnership with the. laboratory dates back to 1960. >> I can understand that. I'm more of a. Krishna guy myself. But. >> you Oh, you like Krishna? >> Yeah. Krishna. Yes. >> Oh, you're Krishna? Krishna all the way. >> I like more than one arms. That's what I. support. But uh Krishna is the most like. described god in the Hindu in the Hindu. >> What do you mean. >> described? They he's like if you Google. what what god is the most most described.

god in the. >> in the in the vet or the. >> all let me describe a god and you guess. what it is. >> Okay. >> He's wearing robes. He's got a beard, long hair. >> White god. [laughter]. >> Who is it? Who is it? He's got a robe, good beard. >> Yeah. >> Two fishes in his ba basket. >> Sounds like my guy. >> Two fishes in [laughter] a. >> Right. There's a snake. What's going on? >> Uh, that's Jesus. >> Okay. All right. He's fat, Asian, right?

Happy. Exactly. >> So, I mean, I'm more of a Sha D guy. That's who I am. >> Who's Shan D? Who's the original? >> Describe it. >> Well, Shan, describe it. That's my. cousin. Yeah. Go ahead. [laughter]. >> Second cousin on my mom's side. >> Is the original Chinese god. That's the. supreme god. >> Can you describe it without looking at. the photos? >> Change the name to ten. Huh? >> Describe it without looking at the. photos. >> Uh [ __ ] like uh like the sun. >> Look it up. Light. >> uh. >> cosmic. I don't know how to [ __ ].

describe him. He's just like our God. God and Jesus. The god of Jesus. He's a. hard to describe. >> Beautiful. >> He looks like him. Me. >> kind. >> Yeah, that's Shan D. >> Chinese though. >> No, that's. >> Watch me with a beard. Imagine me with a. beard. Dude, >> go to all real fast. >> Is that Emperor Guangu? Whatever his. name is. Zoom in on Shangi. [laughter]. Supreme deity in ancient Chinese. theology dating back to the Shang and. Zoo dynasties. Initially viewed as the. ultimate ancestor of the Shang royal. family. He controlled victory, harvest, weather. >> Hey, weather. >> He's like storm.

>> Someone else [clears throat] took that. over years later. [laughter]. >> Later, Protestant missionaries famously. adopted the term to translate the. concept of the Abrahamic God into. Chinese. >> Mhm. >> So, he was the original from the Shang. dynasty. >> Right. So, he was before way before. Buddha though. cuz he's original. Not. only that, but he's also It's Tian is. the same guy, too. >> They're one and the same. >> Hey, what what uh part of Spain are you. from? >> I'm from the north. >> From the north. But what city? >> Santiago de Compostella. >> Oh, Santiago de Compostella.

>> I was going to go visit. >> And then uh everyone told me not to. >> Right. >> When I was in Spain, they were like, >> "Too many bells. >> Don't go.". >> Are there bells there? >> All in the streets. It's all bells. The. whole place is made of bells. >> Little tiny bells. Is Yamin clo he lived. close to where you were? >> Yaoing is Chinese. >> Yeah, >> the basketball player. >> Yamin Lamal. There he is. He's super. talented that kid. >> Yeah. Yeah. Who's your all time? >> Who's your all time of what? Is it. Henry? >> Henry. Henry. Terry Henry I think is my.

guy. >> What about B? >> Buramp. Buramp. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> [ __ ] nice legend. >> Dennis Buramp. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I like. >> um [laughter]. >> I CAN'T. >> WHY CAN'T YOU? >> UHHUH. >> YEAH. You You don't understand. >> It's like edging. [laughter]. >> Soccer is like an edge the whole. >> I'm an edger. Aren't you an edger? >> What is that? >> What? >> It gets close to coming, but you never. know. >> Yeah, I never know. >> Wow. That's got to be. >> That's what soccer is to me. Painful to.

watch. >> The only time that ever happen is like. when your mom walk in when you're. beating off. >> No. Right. I don't know that. >> Okay. But then Sorry. >> Go ahead. Finish it though. Finish it. [laughter] I don't know about that. I. don't know about that. >> You know you. >> you're in there thinking you got some. privacy and she's like, "Hey, you want. pancakes?" Like, >> you've done that. How many times does. that happen? >> Okay. [laughter]. >> But you do got the pancakes afterwards. >> Was that traumatic? >> Yeah, it is. >> Your mom, she just, >> you know, she just pretend like it don't. happen. She just Yeah. Okay. Well, now. [laughter]. >> Jeez, it.

>> How old were you when that was. happening? >> 28. [laughter]. Oh boy. I hope you grow up a little bit, Doc. I saw what was going on in there. [laughter]. >> But she the one who gave me the the the. the sex ad book instead of just sitting. down sitting me down and talking to me. >> Did you read? >> Yeah. There's a sexual page in there. >> Is there like photographs in there? >> Sitting on the toilet and he's like this. and it's like it's okay to masturbate. And I was like really? >> And there began my porn. >> The path through puberty. [laughter].

>> Wow. So what did your mom go? Sit down. dog. I want to talk to you about sex. >> She gave him a book. >> Just gave me the book, Bob. >> Oh, I have a book on your desk. Can you. read it? And I was like, all right. >> And what in the book? It had. masturbation. There was a chapter. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> I discovered it on my own. How about. you? >> You didn't need a book? >> I didn't need a book. No, >> it got hard. I'm like, >> you discovered it differently than. everybody else. [laughter]. >> Oh, wow. Yeah. >> For sure. >> For sure. >> Okay. When I was molested, I wasn't.

hard. [laughter]. Oh, >> I didn't say you were. I didn't even. talk. I wasn't even talking about that. >> He's talking about the experience of the. joy. >> Yeah. >> Wait a minute. Was there joy? [laughter]. >> Just asking. >> Interesting. >> I think my dad kind of said something. I. think my dad said, >> "Hey, kiddo.". >> Hey, kiddo. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> Yeah. What else did he say? >> What are you doing? >> What are you doing? >> Yeah. Yeah. Uh, come over here. >> Okay. Well, am I all right? I'm naked. >> Yeah. Come over here. >> Okay. I'm here. >> Look at this. You know what this is?

>> Oh, that's yours. No, this isn't this is. a magazine. >> Oh, what is that? >> It's, you know, pretty good magazine. It's called Hustler. >> Oh, nice. >> How you doing? >> I'm good. >> Yeah. You want to look. >> better now? >> Yeah. Yeah. Now, do you feel any kind of. thing down there? >> No. >> You don't? >> No. >> Look at this. >> What is that? >> Ooh, a cologne advertisement. >> Yeah. Smell it. [laughter]. >> Yeah. >> Draar. >> Now I'm hard. >> Yeah. >> So, your pops introduced you to. >> I think he just t No. No. Not like sex,

not jerking off stuff. I think my dad. said something about if you're going to. do stuff with girls, you go get a. condom. >> I think that was like the most that he. said was like, "If you're going to do. what I what you're probably going to do. at your age, just don't don't don't be. dumb. Just go get a condom.". >> So when y'all got in middle school, if. my mother would just would have waited. one more year, they taught us that cuz. we had sex ed and [laughter] in. >> Yeah. >> And they weren't circle jerks. SEE HOW. BOBBY LAUGH? >> I KNOW. I KNOW. I KNOW. I UNDERSTAND. >> CIRCLE JERKS. [laughter] I don't know.

We didn't have a community circle jerk. around, you know, we did. >> Yeah. Yeah, you did. [laughter]. >> You discovered it on your own. So, what. happened was so my friend Allan's dad. had videotapes, [laughter]. >> right? And and so what I would go, I. would go, "Hey, can you steal one of his. videootapes. >> and can I borrow it?". >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> I love the video. >> Back then it was like a movie called um. Debbie Does Dallas. >> I love Debbie Does Dallas. >> Debbie Does Dallas. >> Yeah. It's a classic. Mhm. >> It's like porn's you know um vertigo or. whatever [laughter].

>> apocalypse now. >> Yeah. Yeah. But um so that was what what. year was Debbie Dozalis? >> 19 She was before our time but. >> could have been 80 78. >> Yeah. So I'm That's perfect. You know. what I mean? So I'm like you know 10. years old. He has Debalas and I I I take. it home right. My parents are at work. It was a weekend and I, you know, me and. she dropped off real quick like three. pumps watching Deb Does Dallas and then. it's the little thing came out like a. little droplet. >> and I was like it felt so good.

>> and I was like wow. >> like a it just like a like a volcano or. like was it a [ __ ] or was it like the. over the side or it was more like a. >> it made that sound when you walk into a. Korean store. Ding dong. [laughter]. [gasps]. >> Yeah, but I I just remember that. I must. have been like 13. I don't know. >> 13. 13 about, right? >> Yeah. 13. >> Wait, wait. Y'all parents didn't have. porn? >> No. No, dude. >> What are you talking about?

>> Yeah, I either. >> Yeah, your. >> Yeah, your dad did. Your mom did. You. found your mom's? >> My dad. >> Your dad had it? >> That [ __ ] was all over the place. I said. he the worst [ __ ] hider ever. I was. finding porn under the couch, >> under the shelves, and [laughter] I was. like, "Dude, this you got this [ __ ]. everywhere.". >> Did your mom never say anything about. it? >> Uh, I'm quite sure she watched it with. him. She had to cuz I'm just like, "Fuck. it. This too much porn." My father, >> they're watching it together. >> Freak like a mother. That's a good. >> Some people use Jurassic Park as a. family. BUT [laughter].

>> gather around family. We're going to. watch Jurassic Park or whatever, but but. not you guys. >> I guarantee you. >> Forest Gump. Everybody come on in. You. know what I mean? But. >> I guarantee your pops probably had corn. hidden somewhere. >> No, we didn't. >> For sure. >> For sure. I didn't. Yeah. My parents. were traditional old people. >> For sure. But he But it's not like it. wasn't in like the cupboard. It wasn't. like near the cereal. >> Did you look for it? >> No, cuz I had my own. Like I had ours. >> All right. >> But what I mean by the shelf is [snorts]. I was like once I [laughter] found one.

tape under the couch. >> What do you mean? Is it dried basil? I. mean it's not a shelf. >> No. What I'm saying though is I became. like Inspector Gadget. I was looking. [laughter]. chimney. I didn't give a [ __ ] I was. like, "Where's he keeping this shit?". And I was finding his stash like this. [ __ ] [laughter]. man. It was like a man marathon of. beating off. I said, "This is insane.". >> He's a little guy. >> Magazines everywhere. I said, "THIS DUDE. GOT [ __ ] a clock, >> man. >> Your dad, your dad's just trying to make. you a detective." He's like, "You're. [laughter] not going to be a detective.".

>> You found it eventually. >> Yeah, I was. >> Was it like the Riddler? need to leave. clues [laughter]. >> like a little car. >> Welcome, Doc. >> The three [laughter] main spots, >> if tits are what you're looking for, >> lift up the floor. >> Yeah. >> The three main spots was underneath the. couch behind the [snorts] couch. Underneath. >> We don't know. What are you talking. [laughter] about? >> BY THE WAY, DUDE, >> I'M TRYING TO TELL YOU. >> I was lifting THE COUCHES AND [ __ ]. >> YEAH. YEAH. YEAH. THE COUCH BENEATH the.

couch. I I got to. >> If your parents were watching it. together, why wouldn't they just keep it. in their bedroom? >> Yeah, [laughter]. >> because that's where I was finding their. [ __ ] too. It didn't matter. It's. >> like they should have just kept it in. their room. >> I don't think my mom I think my dad was. the one. He just was just into that [ __ ]. like he just was hiding it that the way. he was. My mother would did that. But my. my father, I'm like, he's the one hiding. it. This is dumb [ __ ] Cuz I was finding. this [ __ ] everywhere. >> He wanted you to find it as probably. >> Yeah, he he wanted you to find it. >> He was hoping that you were interested. >> And they had a master bed. I mean a uh.

king-size king bed with. >> Yeah, that most parents have that. >> No, no, but [laughter] they my parents. don't have. >> My parents had a single bed, but yeah, secret compartment, [laughter]. >> but on top of. on top of the what do you call it? [laughter]. >> The headboard. >> Yeah, it's a it's not headboard, but. it's it's the headboard, but it's like. >> it's the couch beneath the couch. [laughter]. >> The triple couch situation. You know. that one? [laughter]. >> Oh, but the head not the headboard. Yeah. >> No, it's like I don't even know how what.

to call it cuz it's like it was a. mirror, right? [laughter]. >> WHAT ARE YOU DOING? >> YOU AIN'T NEVER SEEN NO [ __ ] LIKE THIS. >> ALL RIGHT. SO, THERE'S like a bed. Let. me. find a king bed, >> a dresser. Are you. >> And there's a mirror in the back. >> Whole thing that goes with the bed. >> Yeah. >> The bed frame and the headboard. >> Right. But this is like So the headboard. is actually a mirror with drawers and. then it's got two. >> Oh, that is that it. >> bigger than that. >> Oh, bigger than that. Yeah, we can.

visualize it. [laughter]. What about that one? >> It's like a whole contraption they had. Like it was very. >> Oh, I see. I understand. Cuz that's what. my friend Allan had. His parents had a. water bed, >> but in behind it there were cabinets and. a mirror and there was alo a mirror on. the ceiling for some reason. >> Hide on the ceiling. >> I know. But yeah, these people had like. what? And in my mind, I was like, what. is that about? >> Something kind of like people mean. >> See that one right there? >> Yeah. >> Something kind of like that. >> Which one all the way on the end? That. one. >> with a blue.

>> Oh, you just move. >> No, with that blue one. What? That blue. one? >> No, no, no. Go back with the arrow. Okay. Like that. Like that. >> Okay. Like that. >> All like Yeah, it's all. >> like that. Okay. There's a microwave. above there. What the [ __ ] is going on. there, >> man? There's a whole bunch of [ __ ] up. there. It's like [laughter]. >> What is it? Santa Rent a Center. >> Who is it? Who? [laughter]. >> Yeah. >> Wow. >> You never seen I've never seen any. >> No, I've I think seen I've seen 70s. versions of that, but Yeah. >> Yeah. I've seen. >> So there's contraption. I don't have.

that at home. >> So up on the top very tip top. Yeah. >> He used to hide tapes in the area. Yep. Right up in there. And I used to climb. >> like DVDs or tapes? >> All of them. WE HAVE DVDS. [laughter]. >> WE HAVE IN THE 80S. >> VHS laser. VFS and all magazines. >> The fil the old film thing that they put. the real in. >> real to real to real. >> You know was was funny too is it just. was penthouse hustler. [snorts]. >> Yeah. >> He had a couple Playboy but Playboy. >> Playboy was always weak. He wanted he.

wanted the nasty. >> He wanted nasty. >> Yeah. He wanted that and I showed it. I. said I'm talking about this dude. [laughter]. like father like son. >> You know what I mean? >> You know I don't. >> Yeah I don't. But um wow. So you you you. he hid in that backboard. >> Yeah. >> And also the couch behind the couch. Where are some other areas? Kitchen. >> Okay. So we had entertain. >> They had a kitchen behind the kitchen. >> Oh, they did. Two. Had a entertainment. system in the den. [laughter]. >> And it was underneath the shelf. It was.

just where you could just barely slide. anything under there. >> Okay. >> So it's just squeezed underneath there. >> There you go. >> Yeah. That's like that. >> Yep. So it would be. >> You have to lift that whole thing. >> Way bigger than that. >> Okay. Okay. under we had it was. >> like that. Like that wall unit like that. but better. >> Okay. Okay. A high level. >> Yeah. And it was underneath like that. >> Okay. Like that. And you had to lift. that as a kid to get to it. >> It was like it was a space elevated. enough off the floor where he could just. squeeze him in and he would try to push.

him all the way to the back. But this. guy. >> Yeah. You found it. Yeah. Wow. >> And you probably felt like, you know, excitement finding it too. Like my dad's. going to hide it and I'm going to find. It's like a, you know, it's a little. game you're playing with your dad. [laughter]. when you find Easter eggs. But this. >> Yeah, it's an Easter egg. Yeah. Yeah. Wow. That's amazing. And what kind was. it? >> Uh oh. It was [clears throat] That's how. I got into taboo. [laughter]. The porn tab. Come on back, B.

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>> Make your summer wardrobe easier. Go to. quint.com/badfriends. for free shipping on your order and a. 365day returns. >> Wow. It's not available upstairs in. Canada, too. That's quint.com/badfriends. for free shipping and 365day returns. quint.com/. >> bad friends. You know, it's it's better. to be a dad now. thing. >> It's easier to hide. >> when you're not getting laid as a kid. That's what you do. >> But also now when I start messing with. the streets, I was getting it in, you. know. [laughter].

>> Usually seven year olds are not getting. laid. >> Yeah. >> Well, I mean, there's a sex epidemic now. with 20 year olds, you know? I mean, there's a it's bad. >> So, they say. >> No, it's true. >> Who's polling that? And who's saying yes. or no? >> I think it's college campuses. >> Where could they get that? I mean, like. who which colleges? I mean, there's. polls and stuff people call. >> I know. I don't buy them. Show me a. poll. Show me the poll that kids are. having less sex than ever because I. don't buy it. Who would say yes? >> You'd lie. You'd be like, >> "Wait, wait, wait. The kids are having.

less sex.". >> Yeah. They say they are. >> now. >> the youth risk behavior survey. Today's. high schoolers are reporting lower rates. of sexual activity than previous. generations. >> Yeah. Because they locked in on. >> the youth risk behavior survey. 32% of. high schoolers. Who's taken that? Imagine they go to your school like, "You guys want to take a survey about. sexual activity?" Everyone would be. like, "No, [ __ ] that." So the people. that said, "Yes, are the nerds that. aren't fucking." So they're like, >> "No, I I think your Doc's right." I. think the dopamine hits, right, that. normally kids would get are now. exchanged with video games.

>> No, I don't think it's dopamine. I think. the fear of the internet is what's real. It's not the dopamine. They're It's be. We had dopamine hits. I played Duck Hunt. for a thousand hours a [ __ ] day. >> Real talk. The problem is you they're. afraid of the internet of like a girl. being saying something about them like. Tommy Martin's [ __ ] is is sideways then. passing it around to everyone in school. and there's no comm there was no. communic when we were kids it was word. of mouth and half of that [ __ ] was not. true. >> you know like I remember this girl they. they said that this older guy we were we.

were what uh sixth grade and they said. in eighth grader uh she poured syrup on. his wiener and licked it off and then in. high school someone asked She was like, "We've never even hung out, me and that. guy." But it was like people just made. up [ __ ] cuz they're like, "Yeah, I heard. >> the the my girl there was a girl that's. in my class. I forgot her name and I. feel so bad about that, but there was a. rumor that she took three bunnies and. put them in the microwave. and they exploded in a microwave.". Right. And I remember at school I went, "Bunny killer.".

>> Slightly different topic. >> I know. But I'm just saying about. >> It's good though. Yeah. This is real. Yeah. This is happening. Yeah. Yeah. There was a rumor, right? And I called. her bunny killer, >> right? And then the teacher came up to. me and yelled at me. It's like, "You. have no proof. You have no, you know, yeah, >> these are just alleged, you know, allegations." But it sounded real. >> It sounded real. And then if I saw her. now, I'd be like, "I know you didn't. kill bunnies.". >> Oh, >> yeah. By the way, now she's doing it. [laughter]. >> after all those years. Instead of putting them in the pot, she. throw them in the microwave. >> What was a big rumor in your high school.

that got around? a big rumor. >> that like everyone was saying. >> in high school. >> I'll tell you what, our high school did, they tried to elect twin brother and. sister, prom king and prom queen. >> That was like the meanest thing ever. >> Did that Did it happen? >> Yeah. [laughter]. >> Yeah. I was never in the. >> taboo. >> Yeah. I was never even in the running. Were you in the running. >> for prom game? >> Yeah. >> No. >> Yeah. I wasn't even. >> No. >> Even the the the funniest guy in my high. school was a guy named Matt UEA. >> Where is he at? >> I don't know. But and I remember when.

him getting the, you know, >> prom king. >> Oh, no. He got We had a funniest guy. like different like category. >> Oh. Oh. Oh, surprise. >> He got funniest guy, you know what I. mean? In our class. And I remember in. the yearbook seeing he had a front p. like a page, right? And I remember. going, I'm so much funnier. >> What did you get? >> Nothing. I got nothing. >> He wasn't there enough. He would. probably You probably were absent a lot. Yeah, I missed junior year. Rehab. >> Rehab. Yeah. >> So, it's kind of like you can't get.

voted in if you're not really around. >> Okay. All right. What'd you get? Anything? >> I didn't get [ __ ]. >> Me either. >> I wouldn't I was popular, but not like. that. >> Most likely to go to the NBA. [laughter]. >> Imagine he was taller than everybody at. one point and they were like, "Man, Doc's Doc is going to go, man. He's got. >> I actually need the JV team and I got. kicked off.". >> That's insane. Why? Cuz they kept. growing. [laughter]. >> Eat your little ass. They come back from. the summer, they're like, "Damn, Doc, >> just on your look, you look like a. bowler.".

>> Uh, I do bowl. >> Yeah, he's nasty. >> I got a ball. I got a. >> Yeah. Yeah. You know, he's nasty at. bowling. >> I bet you do you roller skate or no? >> Yeah, I did. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> Yeah. >> I would love to go to roller skate with. you. >> Roller skate, basketball, football, somewhere to. >> everything where stuff is close to the. ground. >> Yeah, that's what I love. Roller. skating. I go by myself. >> Yeah. If I fall, it's way hurting close. to the ground. Skydiving. What the. >> You're not You're not jumping a lot. >> Yeah. basketball. That's too far for you. >> It'd be crazy if I was a poll voter or. something. [laughter].

>> You have any alien updates or anything? >> Uh, I'll tell you one. >> Tell me. >> Doesn't have to be alien. You could just. give me updates. Give me updates of your. life. >> What's going on in your real life? Are. you still working? >> No, I haven't worked in about two years. >> Hell yeah. >> So, right now I'm like in between. I. said, "Well, I might pick up another job. um depending on if I have this other. project that might go through.". >> And u like a podcast, like a podcast. >> No, no, no, no. This is acting. But um. >> Okay. >> I'm uh.

>> working on my stand up more. Like I. said, I've been going back and forth to. New York. So, I'm want to go to New York. this month. Good. End of this month and. keep building the stand up. I ain't. really been doing too much of nothing. Just that and you know, being with. hanging out with my cousin, trying to. give him some time. You you do you. collect unemployment? >> No. >> Never. Why not? >> I did when I first left Amazon. >> cuz you can't get it now. >> But Amazon, don't they have an. unemployment program for as long as you. work there? Don't you get benefits when. you leave? >> Yeah, I got those already. >> And you're done. >> Yeah. And you're done. >> How about this Wednesday? I do a belly.

room show this Wednesday. It's new joke. night. >> You want to do it? >> Comedy store. >> in the belly room. >> upstairs. >> Upstairs. Come do it. It's always. packed. >> Yeah. >> It's not him. It's my It's my show. Oh, but I'll like, you know, Andrea Jyn's on. it. There's a bunch of people on it. >> cuz you know, I hate going to the. conference. >> I know you do. But go come upstairs and. do the belly room. I'm doing brand new. jokes. >> Sneak up the stairs and don't see. anybody. Yeah, >> I'm cool. I'm cool. >> Come this Wednesday night, dude. I'll. put you up. >> All right. >> Yeah. >> So, you can get some your rounds in, you.

know. >> Wait, what? What are you doing when you. wake up in the morning? You eat? >> Give me the routine. The dock routine. >> I wake up, I eat. >> What time? >> Check my email. >> What time is it? >> It's like 7 8:00. >> In the morning? >> Yeah. Wow. do that. [laughter] Then I go. walk the neighborhood around 11 12:00. >> Doing what? Stalking. >> Well, no. No. [laughter]. >> Prepping. It's called prepping. >> Oh, prepping. Roaming. >> He's called admiring from a distance. >> Cruising. >> Cruising. He's cruising. >> Yeah, he's cruising. >> He peeping. He peeping. >> Peeping. [laughter]. >> Okay. All right. So, you're walking.

around the neighborhood. >> So, once you found your victim, then. it's. >> No. So, you're walking around the. >> Walk around the neighborhood, then I. come home. >> [snorts]. >> And then I just chill at the crib, make. lunch. Yeah. And I might go do a mic or. if I got a little small show to do or. something like that, I do that and I. just talk on the phone to family and. friends. I'm telling you, my life my my. friends, they be like, "Man, your life. is boring as hell. Stop calling me.". [laughter]. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. But it sounds very easy and nice, >> man. Cuz I'm 52. So what more can you.

really do? Like I'm not a party. Hollywood drunk, you know, like Bob. I'm. just [laughter]. >> sober almost five years. >> Almost. >> Yeah. Yeah. So that's good. That's. insane. So goddamn proud of you. How. [ __ ] you. >> But um I'm 55 as well, so we're, you. know, getting older. Maybe you're just. slowing down physically. >> Yeah. Well, you know what I was going to. say though is you're the only person. that ever like drink [snorts] and get. [ __ ] up and don't party. You've never. You never heard of this guy like. partying anywhere? Have you? Who?

>> This guy. >> I did it alone. >> Alone? >> Yeah. >> He always liked it alone. >> I'm in a lone private. >> in his hotel room. >> Yeah. I'm not one of those guys. I'm. going to go to the bar or you know. >> that's me. I love the bar. Yeah, >> you do. >> I love a bar. He loves a bar. >> Hold up. But how do you get drunk alone? Like [ __ ] up alone? Like is it like uh. what makes you just go [ __ ] it. >> just me and I'm just going to be. >> because for me it's like it was it was. always just hiding. Like I knew what it. was. >> and it's me covering up feelings and um. not wanting to be here. And it's like.

why would I do it in front of other. people, >> you know? So doing drugs alone and. drinking alone privately in my bedroom. is my thing. >> God damn, that's depressing. >> It's It is depressing. You know, I I. remember when I was detoxing, I thought. I was going to die the last time and I. had I was waiting for a room to open up. at a place in Phoenix, but I and I slept. by the doorway of the hotel because if I. had died, then they just they can.

discover my body sooner. [laughter]. What the [ __ ] dude? [laughter]. >> You got to be one of the most SELFISH. [ __ ]. >> WHY? WHY? >> I want people to just walk in and see. YOU [ __ ] [laughter]. >> NO, I JUST THOUGHT THAT I I felt like I. was going to die. >> Oh, yeah. >> Right. [laughter]. Right. I felt like I needed medical. something. All right, forget it then. >> I'm sorry. It's like a like one of the.

most vulnerable things that have. happened to me in the last five years. And. >> you think his death was like um was. influenced by his need to be seen as a. famous person? [laughter]. >> I want them to find me dramatically like. >> like on the ground. >> I don't feel well. [laughter]. >> No, I was just I took a pillow. All. right. [laughter]. >> Okay. Yeah. I I just would sleep by the. door with a pillow.

>> How you feel now? >> I feel great. >> Feel great. >> Yeah. Yeah. I feel great. >> But um I don't like the way you mocked. me. >> I just. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I I've never I've told. that story before. I've never had anyone. laugh at it. >> Oh, I'm sorry. >> Yeah. Yeah. That that didn't seem like. >> a doc go to AA meetings to just laugh. [laughter] at every story. >> Yeah. It was just like my bottom. [laughter]. >> So, it's so crazy. It's so crazy to hear. famous person's bottom. It's like what. the [ __ ] [laughter]. >> YEAH.

>> I WASN'T IN LIKE A nice hotel. I was It. was okay. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. It was It was a nice hotel. tomorrow. Some poor kid in a third world. country's like, "I [laughter] wish I. could be at. >> Yeah. Very lucky. I'm very lucky that I. got to stay in a nice hotel waiting for. a room to open up at a rehab.". >> I'm very lucky. You know, >> privileged bottom. >> It's a privileged bottom. But for for. me, it was my bottom. >> Yeah. That's the name of his new. special. Privileged bottom. >> Yeah. [laughter]. privileged body. >> Watch it now on Hulu. When does your. special come out? November. >> Yeah, >> November. What? >> I don't know. Yeah. >> Oh, for Hulu.

>> Thank you. >> Probably should have been pulling up. [laughter]. >> You know what? We're good. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You're pushing, but I. like it. >> You should have [ __ ] did it. >> Yeah, I did it already. >> Okay. Well, >> he shot it already. I shot it already. >> Come on. You should have been done it. >> Yeah. Yeah, but I already did it. >> Okay. Well, >> yeah. Yeah. I mean, it's I did it. >> All the fans was looking for this. They've been looking for your [ __ ]. >> Yeah. And it's coming out. Why you angry. all of a sudden? [laughter].

>> I'm like this guy like he's like one of. the guys that just won't give the people. what they want. It's like [ __ ] you. [laughter]. They've been wanting this [ __ ] for a. long time, Bobby. IT'S LIKE DROP THE. SPECIAL [ __ ] EVEN I WANT IT. I. WAS like Bobby. Hey. >> Yeah. He wants to uh he wants to make it. a real special. >> It's a special. >> A special special. >> Oh, this one is dear to your heart. [laughter]. >> I didn't know. >> I love it.

>> Get it out. Get it out. >> I like it. >> Get the frustrations out. >> It's not frustration. It's just. >> Yeah. What is it? >> Inino Veritas. >> And wine There is truth. >> Well, it's it's it's uh admiration. Can. I say? >> Yeah. He admires you. >> You admire me? >> Yeah. It's a comic. You you you're a. funny dude, bro. like Kevin Spacy in the. movie Seven. >> But you know what I want to do? [laughter]. >> I admire you from afar. You know what I. mean? Become wrath. >> It's the wrong [laughter]. >> remember. That's what it sounds like. >> Yeah. [clears throat] Yeah.

>> Yeah. What's coming. >> a little psychotic? >> It's called Finally. >> You've already done what? Three. >> Five. >> No, I've done uh I've done three. >> Three. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> How did you feel about this one? [laughter]. >> I don't know. >> I saw it a couple times. I go, I can't. watch it again. You guys I I get, you. know, I told the producers just. whatever. Just cut this my laugh out a. lot. >> Oh, you. >> So, um, you're going to New York. >> Well, so are you going to go try to live. in New York?

>> No, no, no, no. I'm just want to just I. just been going back and forth over the. P. >> Where are you staying when you go to New. York? >> In the hotels. >> Oh, you don't stay with like a friend or. anything? >> Nah, >> there's two hotels or just one? >> I do like three, four, about almost a. month out there. Just one. >> That's got to be expensive. Why don't. you just stay with a friend? There's got. to be comics that. >> I got family, but the problem is is I. like to just be in out gone. Now, the. last time I stayed with, you know, uh. Lee say that does the uh podcast. >> He used to do Joey Diaz's show.

>> Yeah. Yeah, they still do. They. together. So, he I was staying with him. the last time I was there. >> in Jersey. >> No, in New York. >> Oh, he lives in the city. >> Yeah. He just recently got married to. >> slept on the couch. >> Yeah. >> I said, "Well, I could have slept in the. bed. I had the whole apartment to myself. cuz he has this [laughter]. this. >> Why you so defensive? >> I didn't know he had a spare bed. Maybe. he could have. >> Yeah. Yeah. But I didn't sleep in his. bed. It's weird. [laughter] Even though. it off. >> cuz you never know. Like I know he. probably washed but sleeping in another. man's jizz is weird. You know what I.

mean? >> Yeah. Well, yeah. [laughter]. >> Oh, you're assuming a lot. BUT YEAH. >> YEAH. >> You think you knew Inspector Gadget was. coming to sleepover, so he left some. [laughter] clues for you? >> You like what? Black Inspector Gadget. [laughter]. >> Yeah. >> Oh, look. That's you, Doc. >> Yeah. He's got a gun. So, some porn, some money. It's great. [laughter]. >> Got the veno. >> Yeah, the veno right there. Yeah.

>> Will he find his [ __ ] [laughter]. >> Yeah. >> That would be a good look for you. >> Yeah. [laughter]. >> Yeah. Where my [ __ ] Da da da. >> Wow. >> I'm out here inspecting, man. >> Yeah. [laughter]. >> Could you have be become a dict. detective? You think? >> You know what? I uh recently just tried. to apply for being a police dispatcher. cuz I just wanted to see if I can do it. >> I failed the whole [ __ ] time. [laughter]. I failed that [ __ ] So,

>> wait. How's that hard? >> No, you just answer the phone. >> No, no, no, no, no. Like, so when they. bring you in, they give you all. recordings, right? So, it's all. emergency calls. It's [snorts] like, yeah, such and such. But it's like so. much [ __ ] going on at once, and you got. to try to memorize this [ __ ]. >> All right, let's I'm calling in. Hello. >> Hey, [laughter]. I'm fired. You're fired. >> That's what I'm trying to tell you. I'm. already fired, dude. >> 911. What's your emergency? >> Yeah. Yeah. Do that. Right. Ready? Go. >> Trying to tell you. >> 911. Go ahead.

>> What? So, >> usually you start 911 in emergency. >> Uh, my cat is stuck in a. >> NO, I'M THE GUY. YOU'RE THE [ __ ]. YOU'RE THE [laughter] GUY. I SEE WHY YOU. FAILED. >> YEAH. YEAH. >> OH, I'm the guy. >> Yeah. Yeah. You're the. >> 911. >> How may I help you? >> What's your emergency? >> What's your emergency? >> It's like the literal thing. Yeah. >> This is what I'm trying to tell. [laughter]. >> I came home. I came home and my my my. parents they're they're not breathing. >> Would you guys just relax? I'm always on. the other side getting arrested. So, I'm. [laughter] [ __ ] What are you talking. about? My parents are not alive.

>> Let me see the test. They've put the. test online. >> Yeah. No, they don't. It's like if it's. if it is online, whoever put that up, they going to get arrested. >> What was the What was the What was the. test like? >> The test is all recordings. So, it's. like calls and then you have to jot down. the information that's happening and you. have to make sure you take the most. crucial points and then they do a multip. uh multiple choice questions. >> and you failed those. >> I failed. >> Okay, here here's here's some. Right. So, um. >> but wait a minute. What I'm confused. about is don't can't you they're writing.

stuff down. Aren't they on a computer. while they're on the call? You can hear. them. when they're typing the names, addresses. So, why would you have to. memorize it? >> Because you got to it's when when you're. under pressure, >> right? You have to be able to retain the. information. >> Yeah. And you have to know what points. to take. Pick up the phone. >> 911 is a joke in your town. [laughter]. >> Already fail. Yeah. >> My family's dead. >> Okay. >> I'll do it. [laughter]. >> 911. What's your emergency? >> Hi. Yeah. My my son just broke into the.

house and he shot my brother and my. mother-in-law and they stole my dog. Uh, three of our dogs. They stole kibbles, whiny, and poops me. And um, he's. wearing I'm so sorry. Poops me. What is. that? >> Poops. Me was the name our four-year-old. gave. Our four-year-old is in the house, too. He's upstairs. He's trapped. Um, and he is your brother. Please come back. fast. Please come. Bye. >> Is Gabe your brother? >> They're gone. >> Oh, >> I'm the cop. Ready? >> Yeah. >> All right. Emergency. What's going on? >> Oh. Um, a man called, you know what I.

mean? And the brother broke into the. house, shot the brother. >> named Gabe. Stuck in there. >> Gabe. >> Yeah. And there's animals. >> How many? >> A couple. >> What are their names? >> I don't know. [laughter]. I didn't know this was going to be this. kind of test. >> That's what he had TO DO. >> THEN APPLY [screaming] APPLIED. >> BUT THAT'S WHAT HE HAD TO DO. >> FOR THIS. [laughter]. >> IS THAT MY DREAM? >> IT'S [ __ ] JUST. >> WHY IS THAT YOUR DREAM? >> Don't yell at the cops. >> Yeah. Yeah. I'm sorry. That's my dream, though. I I just put in an application. I didn't even think they would call me. And they call like, "Come on in." I was. like, "What the fuck?". >> They need people. They need people.

>> That's a tough gig. >> That's a tough one. >> You're listening to sad [ __ ] all day. >> I can't do it. It's too too traumatic. >> You know what I do? I told him Be My. Eyes. I do Be My Eyes. You know what Be. My Eyes is? >> It's great. Look up Be My Eyes. My. friend Hillary signed me up for It's an. app where blind people call you and they. say like, "Hey, can they show you their. FaceTiming you and they go, "Hey man, what am I looking at?" Like I'm looking. like my last one was a guy working in. his garage and he was like, "Hey, what. part is this? Is this a like what size.

is this? What is this?" So I was telling. him what the parts were that were in. front of him that he needed. >> That's not the same thing. >> This is [ __ ] [laughter]. >> It's [ __ ]. >> What do you mean? I'm No, you help you. help these people. >> A blind mechanic. >> No, it's a man just fixing something in. his garage. [laughter]. >> Yeah. Call IKEA. >> Call IKEA. >> Yeah, they'll bring over They'll come. and help you. >> Yeah. This what? It's not landing. This. is a good thing. This is a very good. thing. >> So, a blind person. >> Yeah, you guys are a blind person. You. guys are dumb. Not. >> you didn't say blind person. Yes, I did. You did. Okay, tell me again.

>> The first thing out of my [ __ ] mouth. >> Blind people. >> I think they should call it something. else. >> Be my eyes. Pretty [laughter] literal. >> Eyes without face. [ __ ] eyes. >> Eyes without a face. >> Eyes without face. I love that song. [laughter]. >> No, it's great because blind people, if. people, if you don't know, >> Yeah. >> They're blind. >> Not that most people that are blind. can't see anything. That's like a common. misnomer. It's not like you see. blackness. That's actually super rare. So they see, but they can see distorted. So a woman called me and goes, "Hey,

which bag of vegetables am I holding? I. can't tell which one this is.". >> You can't chat GTP yet. >> Shout out to Nathan Herd. >> How is Chant GPT going to tell her what. it is? I'm. >> Because you can take a photo. What kind. of vegetable is this? >> I don't know. Maybe she doesn't want to. use chat. They use be my eyes. >> Okay. >> So. >> So I be my eyes a lot. I like that. That. I do. They call and it goes blah blah. blah. Someone's calling. >> They can't They can't do Be My Ears. [laughter]. >> They can't do that. That wouldn't work. >> No. >> So, um, that failed. >> That failed.

>> Yeah. Yeah. So, what else are you trying. for? >> I got 49 out of 79. I was supposed to. get 79. >> You had 49 out of 79. The test was out. of 79. >> No, 79 was just a pass. I got 49 on it. >> It doesn't sound. >> I left a whole cuz when the recording. came on, I left the whole section. By. the way, he goes, "I got 49 out of 79.". And I'm like, "That doesn't make sense. You got 49 out of 100." [laughter]. >> But I just tried to make it better. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> Well, you [ __ ]. >> I know. When he said 79, I go, "What a. weird [laughter] What an innocuous.

number.". >> 49 out of 100 is wild. They give you. like 30 putting your name on it, huh? >> Yeah, I think so. It was like the. recording was so fast. It's rapid and. they tell you, they say, "Hey, you're. not going to get everything. Just jot. down what you can." So it gets it goes. from slow and then it goes progressively. like just to that goddamn top speed. Like. >> were there people in there taking it. with you at the same time? >> Yeah, it was like 50 of them. >> Did any of them pass? Do you know? >> I probably. >> got to be a few more than 49. >> If you're a.

>> That's how many pe How many people do. you think audition? >> I'm going to be honest. Like I didn't. even want the job. >> Audition. Uh. >> did you meet the director? [laughter]. >> Please. Slate, please. >> Yeah. Interview. The interview. How many. people interviewed at the same time you. did? Took the test. >> It wasn't. It's just about 50 people. >> 50. >> So 50. And you think maybe two come out. came out? >> One or two get it? >> Yeah. It's got to be someone that's. really good at like retention and. regurgit. >> The chick next to me was so fast. Maybe. half. >> Maybe half. >> The chick next to me was so fast. I said.

she she just doing she just writing [ __ ]. down. There's no way. But if she was. that fast, I said this chick passed. >> Maybe she did. >> Yeah. >> If you're a fan of ours and you do 911. operator, please By the way, 91 operator. is so funny. They're listening to our. show instead of taking calls. [laughter]. Yeah. >> Please let us know down below. Reach out. to Carlos in the booth atgmail.com. We. want to hear your story. I would love to. hear. >> You know what I mean? I'd love to. >> 100% that there are some 911 operators. out there that's a fan of your show. >> You know who I think our biggest. contingency of fan is? >> What? >> By far. Huh? >> People who called 911.

>> No. Okay. >> Okay. [laughter]. >> Probably. But. >> very good. >> Yeah, they're very good. >> Drivers. >> I passed the typing test. >> Drivers. >> Oh, the type. There's a typing test. there. Yeah, that's how I got to the. next phase. >> How many words per minute? [laughter]. >> Uh, I think I typed 43 and you only had. to do like 35. >> That's good. You then you thought, "Oh. my god, I got this.". >> You got to be able to type in bigb. buttmilk.com quick. [laughter]. >> Below 40 is not good. So, you just got. it. >> 40 to 50 is average. 60 is good. And 80.

is advanced. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> I'm 20. [laughter]. >> I got to be 20. >> Can you type? >> I voice text. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> I don't even [ __ ] time. >> hold up. Y'all didn't have a lot. Yeah, like spade. >> Huh? >> Typing wasn't a curriculum a must. >> Yeah. When we were in high school in. high school. Oh, yeah. So, you should. know how to type. >> I don't know the numbers though. I don't. remember what mine was cuz I just did. whatever they needed. >> I think if I if I [clears throat] know. where the T and the H are, right? I have. my index fingers on those. I think I can. do it. Well, just. >> Oh, no. I can type like this. Yeah. You.

don't need. >> Well, you know the home world keys, though. H. Yeah. AS L. Whatever the. [ __ ]. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. [laughter]. >> I know. >> No, he doesn't type. Yeah. He hunts and. pecks. >> He does this. >> L A U A N T. I think I do it. >> and then he goes. [laughter]. [laughter]. >> [ __ ] Yeah. Delete. Delete. Delete. Delete. >> Do you guys know how to type? You know. the home roll keys? >> Yeah. >> Okay. What about you, Carlo?

>> I mean, I know how to type. Yeah. Yeah. I I can't like list the keys by. >> ASD L. What is it? Well, I I see it, but. I don't know. >> FG. >> Here's a question for you guys. Would. you do Neurolink in the future 10 years. from now? >> I don't even know what it is, but I'll. do it. [laughter]. >> Chip implantation in your. >> Oh, [ __ ] yeah. >> You. >> uh sure. I. >> I'm doing all of it. >> I don't care. I don't have kids. [ __ ]. >> Yeah. >> Out. I'm not valuable. >> I'll be the first guy to do it. >> I'm not a valuable guy. I can get out of. here and no one would it. It's fine.

Yeah. Put it in my head. 10 years from. now. That's why I said it'll be way. more. >> What if the wrist thing? Isn't that. funny? Everyone in this room is. childless except for you. You would. never do it. >> I wouldn't do this. >> See what I mean? And Carlos, would you. do it? >> No. Too early for. >> 10 years. 10 years going to be so. advanced. >> In 10 years, it doesn't even seem I. don't know. That doesn't seem like a. long time. >> How far we've gone in 10 years from now. >> Yeah. >> Think about 10 years ago and how far. we've gone from then to now. And then. it's exponentially getting faster every. year. >> We can't even predict. 10 years could be.

insane. I think in 10 years. >> also remember that AI is also a big. contributor to the technology. advancement of league. So now would you. do it? >> Probably not still on it. >> Wow. [laughter] Wow. >> What's the hesitation? I wonder. >> I already [snorts] got something on my. head surgically put. >> Oh, you don't want to [ __ ] up your hair? >> Yeah. Ah, we're gonna have to go through. that. >> And they do Neuralink now for people. with hair trans. They have different. >> He got his hair done. >> Ain't [ __ ] there. What? You You really.

got something done? >> It's working. [laughter]. >> When did you get it done? >> Come here and show him up close. He can. tell up close. It's. >> months ago. It just started. >> Two months ago. >> It takes a long time, but he gets there. Look at. >> Let me see what you got there. >> It's going, dude. Look. Look at how much. better that looks. Well, I would face. him forward. Yeah. There. >> Yeah. >> Look at that. Look at how much is there. >> Okay. >> Yeah. I touch it, but [laughter] this is. the weirdest. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. I've never touched it. I never. touched it. >> Yeah. [laughter] Yeah. >> You want to touch it? Yeah, I can touch. it.

>> You gave you consent? >> Who's going to tell them, fellas? >> I. >> Who's going to tell them what? [laughter]. >> Yeah. It's like cheap hair. [laughter]. >> Yeah. >> We'll get your money back. >> MONEY BACK. >> It was free. >> It was free. >> Yeah. >> Oh, yeah. >> Yeah. That's what you get when it was. free. >> Do you feel Do you feel the confidence. coming back or how do you feel? >> No, I forget about it all the time. It'll be a couple months. was confident. when he was bald. [laughter] It didn't. matter. It didn't matter. That's what I. like about the hair. >> It never mattered to him ever. >> Would you get it done?

>> Plugs. >> Yeah. >> Nah. I'm going to go on ahead and just. >> Yeah. >> But you shave your head anyway. >> Yeah. I mean, I don't shave it, but. >> you I'm saying you buzz. You You. wouldn't call it. You cut it short. >> Yeah. I cut it today. >> So, my [ __ ] is like. >> Wait, who cut your hair? >> Me. >> You cut your own? >> Yeah. [laughter]. >> I used to be a barber. I DIDN'T TELL. YOU. >> GOD DAMN. I GOT SURPRISES for you, [ __ ]. >> He was everything. Baker, barber, anything. >> Candlestick maker. Wasn't it Isn't it. hard for you to line yourself up though? Isn't that what they say? No. >> No. Not as My eyesight is a isn't as. >> Cuz I got to tell you, one side is. higher than the other.

>> Yeah, but my hair don't grow like. straight. Everybody's. >> I know. I know. I know. I know. But. >> it's a little crooked though. I got. >> That's okay though. It look good though. [laughter]. >> [ __ ]. >> So, you line your [ __ ] up in the mirror? >> Yeah. >> Wow. Beard, everything. >> Do you have a Do you have like a. template to line up? Do you put on your. head? You've seen this when people put. the You know what I'm talking about. >> Not a bowl, but you know what I mean? They have like they have guards and. guides now so you can line up yourself. You never seen. >> amateurs. >> Oh, okay. >> Rookies. >> I'm a seasoned vet here. >> Okay. Well, you got the leading tower of.

peas out there. >> This might not [laughter] be as blended. like I used to blend it, but you're. doing it wrong. >> They do say it's hard to do on your own. because it's in the mirror. That's got. to be tough. Look at that fade for. beginners. >> Well, if you take a a three shaver like, you know, mean the whatever they. [laughter]. >> level three. I. >> I don't know what that mean. Oh, you. mean the the clip number three? clip. No. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And you. just do it. Why would that not work? >> No. No. He He has to line up the line. The hairline. >> I'm using ones and no guards. I'm I'm. deep in a trench. >> We're talking not the whole head. We're.

talking about lining up his hairline. >> Yeah. Right here. >> Okay. >> Right here. >> Black guys. Black guys get their edges. You edge your. >> I wouldn't edge it. Yeah. Yeah. >> No, you're an edger. >> You get your [ __ ] edged, too. Look at. your beard. >> Yeah, we edge. Yeah. >> Well, I have a bar. >> because I have, you know, cuz I have a. little bit of flavor, Doc. >> Not by that that ball spot in the middle. in the back, but not. >> Wow. He's strong. >> No. Oh, you're sh You give this guy a. bottle of Josh and he's a. >> hater. [laughter]. Y'all be hating on me for all y'all be. hating on me. >> I'm not hating on you. >> I'm Today's the You know what I did. today? >> What' you do?

>> Did you get I go I We need Doc today. >> Oh, ain't this bad? >> Yeah, you did. >> I did. >> Okay. >> Because I just today I was doing other. podcasts. I was brain fried. >> How do y'all do that? Like do you like. bouncing in? I don't like it. I just. like I barely like doing this [ __ ]. [laughter]. You know what I mean? >> Thank you, bro. Yeah. Thank you. >> You're welcome. You're welcome. It's. >> like. >> like when you get the call, do you do do. you go [ __ ]. >> now? You Yeah. Sometimes. But I'll tell. you why. You two are very gifted and I.

don't think you guys really Well, maybe. you do know cuz that's why you're rich. But let me tell you, [laughter]. LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING. You two do. the way that you do voices and accents. and [ __ ] Like even when I came on here, I was like, I don't. >> Hey, how you doing? I'm Jimmy Small Eyes. and stuff like that. Yeah. What the [ __ ]. that was? [laughter]. >> Is that the gift you're speaking of? >> BUT IT was just but even in the. character work that you two do. >> Yeah. >> It's funny. >> It's believable and it it it just.

crosses. >> It can be. >> It can be. But sometimes I think is we. have our It's our little play place. >> This is where we get to like uh [ __ ]. goof. It's like our little goof. >> It's a goof. >> It's a goof room. It's a. >> I see the same two dudes on stage though. because I grew up with you guys. >> Yeah. No, I know what you mean. We are. Yes, we love you guys. >> Yeah. No, you're right. Well, because um. >> what? >> No, I don't know. >> Yeah. I mean, we're polar opposites in. many ways. >> Very a lot. >> Yeah. >> Yes, of course. >> More alpha. >> except our comedic dials seem to be on.

this. It's like um what's that thing? Duncan Trussell loves it. You know the. thing that's like shout out to D. >> I love that dude. You know, he he has. that like it's like electric. It's like. electric waves between your hands and it. like Do you know what I'm talking about? I don't know the name of it. >> Xylophone. >> Zylam. >> Zylam. >> I don't know what it's called. But I. mean like you can have these different. sounds and they're so different but. somehow they like blend well. That's. like him and I we're like two different. >> frequencies. >> We're two different frequencies but for. >> xylophone, right? Or no, >> no, no, no. It's like with a hand. It's. like with your hands.

>> Yeah. What do you call that? That's what. I'm talking about. What do you call. that? Let me. [music]. >> Isn't that wild as [ __ ]. >> Yeah. >> His right hand though. Look at his. >> I know you're doing that with Taboo. I. [laughter] know. >> Oh, be nice, guys. He has Parkinson's.

That's [laughter] That has nothing to do. with the music. Oh god. You. >> Yeah, >> it's beautiful, is it not? You've heard. that in music. >> A theramman. >> You're using two electric W. >> Yeah. >> There is no strings. It's all It's all. because of electric. >> So, it's the currency from to the. >> Yeah, it's the current. You're. interrupting the current. >> Oh, okay. >> That you don't even know about this? >> No, I've never even seen this. >> Have you heard of a dig?

What year was this he was invented? [laughter]. >> Well, what year was the Theman invented? Probably in the ' 60s, '50s60s. I don't. even know. >> It's a cool instrument. Go. >> because he's doing the [ __ ] theme. song from. >> When is it from? 1920. Good. >> 1920, dude. >> From from [ __ ]. >> Somewhere over the rainbow. Yeah. >> Yeah. [laughter]. [laughter]. >> You were in that movie Wizard of Oz. >> Yeah. Was lollipop. You weren't Toto.

>> Oh, Toto. You [ __ ]. >> Yeah, you're Toto. [laughter]. >> Little black bastard. At least he wasn't. showing off the flying monkeys cuz then. I'll be. >> I would rather I'm not going to go. there. >> Yeah. No, I'd be the scarecrow. I think. >> you can go there cuz you know what? >> Cuz you have no heart. That's a tin man. [laughter]. >> No. No. >> Scarecrow has no soul. No brains. >> No brains. I'd be I'm Yeah, I'm. definitely the scarecrow. >> You're the No brains. >> Yeah. >> What am I then? I'm probably I'm not the. cowardly lion. Oh, I'm the man behind. the curtain. I'm the wizard. >> Yeah, you're the wizard. [laughter]. Yeah. And you're Toto. >> That would be me. Yeah,

>> I would be the guy behind the curtain. >> No, no, no, >> no. Cuz of my voice. Cuz remember he had. that that powerful ass voice. Open the. curtain and it's like. >> little [ __ ] you know. >> Yeah. [laughter] The whiz was a black. Wizard of Oz. No. >> Yeah, >> that's the Yeah, >> that's the whiz. >> The Asian one wouldn't work because of. the yellow brick road would just. disappear. [laughter]. >> Well, Toto would only been for one. scene, that's for sure. >> Yeah, he's eaten. Yeah. Yeah. [laughter]. Yeah. The Tin Man it would say made in. China. It would break [laughter] down.

>> He breaks right away. >> Right away. Yeah. >> Yeah. >> And then sing. >> Yeah. And see. Yeah. The movie will be 5. minutes long. >> Yeah. >> In the yellow road. It was Martin Luther. King Boulevard that [laughter] the. yellow. >> Good. [laughter]. >> Yeah. >> All right. We got to go. >> Yeah. >> Doc, look at the camera. Sign off for. us. I love you. [laughter]. >> Hey, love y'all. Thank y'all for. checking out Bad Friends. We'll see. y'all soon.

>> No, that's not what it is. Thank you for. being a bad friend. >> Oh, all right. I always [ __ ] it up. >> Yeah, you got it. >> All right. Thank y'all for being a bad. friend. >> I don't mind standing every day. >> You have a beautiful voice. >> Corner in the pouring rain. Look for the girl with the broken. [snorts]. smile. >> It's the piano talking. [laughter]. Stay around and she will. be loved.

>> And she will. be love. >> Okay.