President Lee Addresses the Nation and Santino Is Back! | Ep 36 | Bad Friends

attention Riso aoma victims if you or a. loved one has Riso aoma and it's causing. terrible headaches and fits of Rage we. feel your. pain it's terrible that George's. annoying laughter has put innocent. Americans In Harm's Way call us right. now call the Santino and Lee Law Firm. 18884. 313611 you two are bad friends who are. these two idiots w a white dude and an.

Asian dude you two are. disgusting you two or something we're. bad friends I'm back y'all and I'm back. y'all and I'm biggity back and I'm back. y'all first of all um George before we. start this is regular red bull rut R. holy [ __ ] do you have the sugarfree or. do you have the sug free George or no. cuz otherwise we're throwing a fit I'm.

not gonna throw a fit I'm throwing F I'm. not throwing a fit want sugar free. George by the way you know those things. what's the difference between sugar-free. anyway sugar-free well one has one has. sugar and the other one has toine well. it's fake sugar which is worse for you. so you should just drink good sugar real. sugar real real sugar is not yes fake. sugar is so bad for this has real sugar. in it well look at it what does it say I. don't know I don't drink Red Bull it. says toine lightly. carbonated torine is the energy element.

what's the sugar element the sugar. element is do you think toine is sugar. do you think torine is sugar it could. be man it's going to be back no because. I'll tell you why a lot of times um they. hide um certain in ingredients is right. and it could it's something else but I. don't know like the technical ter ter. term I'll I'll give you an. example it says here um naside right oh. you know what naside is it could be but.

here's the thing it's a balance. inhibitor it makes sure that your. balance is good even when you're running. at a high level it could be like you. know bulld dick ground up bulck but they. you know they then they put a term on it. nide and I'm drinking bulck but I'm. really you know what I mean but I think. it's nice do you really think there's. bull dick in there I think there's some. dick in here yeah I think there's some. dick in here there is some dick but I. don't think it's bul dick I've heard. stories that there's like Red Bull what. is it there's some bull bullish elements. in here uh well do you want to know the.

history of it yeah I'd love to seriously. it was created by a German guy yeah and. it's by it's like 20 years old it only. came to America the past 10 years yeah. cuz I went to Thailand they have the Red. Bull there as well Red Bull started in. thail started in Thailand it did listen. a German guy stole the company like. stole the idea and brought it to Germany. in the Netherlands and that's where it. that's where it started to grow in. Europe he stole the idea it translates. to Red Bull the name of the company. translates to Red Bull I'm dead serious. in Tai red sming cuz I'm just good to. see you I know I'm glad to be back in.

Tha Red Bull to say it. it's that that means Red. Bull that. TI I know what did you do to my head by. the way we got these great figurines. from vanuel and uh my head broke we're. going to glue it back on and I'm really. sad somehow my head broke what's the hey. oh [ __ ] what is this get this. off why is this here well you didn't. even let George explain why don't shake. the table cuz then I won't get then my. head will fall off again what is this. this what is it today Bob do you want to.

ask George do you want to ask George why. he do George do you have sugar-free Red. Bull for him I'll go buy some sir yeah. yeah yeah well also what is this four. what does four mean this four our fourth. podcast what does the four mean thank. you George I love it's our fourth. podcast no we've done way more than. four we've done more than four it's my. birthday. today today is my birthday no it's not. yes it is today's my born day I was born. today today's your birthday yes it is.

can I can can I read you the text on my. mother I honestly I got to I got to look. it up because if I didn't know it was. your birthday and I'm going to feel so. guilty yeah so no I knew you would know. and I know and I said to them I knew I. said I'll bet $1,000 huh I tell these. guys they'll he'll never know my. birthday Santino birthday did you know. it was my birthday no happy birthday to. thanks yeah thanks and you know what's. so [ __ ] up about October 16th that's. my birthday that's today oh [ __ ] that's. today well um I got you something what'.

you get me. um regular regular I know you don't like. does that have bull dick in it it's got. B dick oh I love these it's got N I. don't drink this I don't drink that. stuff but thank you is it really BR how. old are you I feel so bad 37 you don't. feel bad at all don't Li I tell you why. liar because for my birthday right you. got me stuff I got you a Christa Stefano. and I got you a cake and he got you. ramen noodles then they got you. Corona so you know what I mean that was. for your birthday early birthday that. was your birthday that was my birthday.

to give you Corona was to give me Corona. yeah ironically enough I brought a gift. to uh the studio and it's for Rudy jwes. because I think she deserv I'm. 37 37 you're that much younger than me. mhm I've got so much more life to live. but you look so much. older you this is from uh this is from. this company ma Los Angeles they look. what they got for Rudy show show. everybody at home show Tito and uh and. show the Fe look at what what did she. need more than anything what did you get.

sick of what did you get sick of Bob her. um her repulsive her repulsive sandals. she finally got new sandals say thank. you Ma Los Angeles thank you thank you m. Angeles buring socks no that's a. competitor dude what's it called ma Los. Angeles I love Mal look on the bottom it. says it read it out loud say what it is. they sent you shoes what does it say on. the bottom of the shoe ma Los Angeles ma. Los Angeles that's a company ma la try. them on.

and put your foot up let let people see. your let's see wait hold on hold on put. your foot up so people can see the old. sandals to the new sandals put your foot. up so people see also this will end up. on like Wiki feet or something now I. just realized gross let's see the old. sandals my feet is dirty yeah we know. okay those are the old ones look at. those [ __ ] things I know those are. [ __ ] feed Jesus Christ climb the [ __ ]. out of a tree to you could water ski on. those I know oh I like it like if she. was an Eskimo she wouldn't need those. show School snow s SHO yeah they would.

look down and be like you yeah take your. shoes off you're okay yeah yeah yeah. take your shoes. off let me see what they look like are. they comfy yeah. yeah in fact throw those other ones away. the brown ones yeah right in the trash. right over there please honestly I don't. ever want to see those ever again see. look at Al sis those are like they're. from home yeah yeah they're my only. reminder of the motherland who made the. other ones those had have been handmade. I don't know I thinka just gave it to me. oh yeah well I gave you new sandals from. my Los Angeles so thank you very nice.

so um it's. your no you're not yeah I I I'll tell. you why I am by the way it's my first. day back from covid and I was like I'm. coming back we're shooting on my. birthday he won't even know or care and. you know what ding ding ding I was right. I care I feel bad you know I'll tell you. why I'm mad at Facebook because usually. um I'm not on Facebook is that why yeah. I don't do Facebook yeah because I get. notifications that's how you know that's. how I know know so it'll say um Bobby.

it's you should wish Cassie not you but. Cassie happy birthday and I I I always. go no and I turn it off right but um if. they said it yeah right why aren't you. on Facebook why do I want to be onook. you know who's on Facebook like aunts. like moms and aunts and I know but your. family and stuff you you can reach out. to cousins I have high school friends. I'm friends with on Facebook the moment. I moved to California I cut those people. out of my life that's right I don't talk. family oh but we miss you don't forget.

where you came from that's why I moved. away leave me alone no I connect with. them in real life not Facebook I connect. with them on like you know on on email. or pictures or text I stay in good. contact with my. fam have you noticed too that I'm not. trying to I'm not being mean anymore. yeah it's a little Annoying I wish you. would get back to where you were no no. no I can't why I'm not going to be mean. now you know because when I turned 50. I'm 49 I mean right and then when you. got Co I cared so much I know it hurt me.

mhm I'm like please Lord please don't. let him die I have proof that you that. you talk [ __ ] about me on uh on uh on. video games saying people were like what. if satio dies and you're like if he dies. he dies no I have audio proof of that. literally never said that I have audio. proof I'm going to play it on next. week's episode yeah play it next week. because you'll have to make it up. because I never said that who am I. playing with I'm not playing with. anybody online yes you are no I'm. playing with my brother who doesn't. stream and this kid Dylan Dylan no Dylan.

doesn't stream Dylan streams no he does. he's been recording stuff I have not. been talking about you trting I don't. ever talk about you I don't give a [ __ ]. okay okay I don't talk can this be about. me for a second it's my day happy. birthday thank you can I read you what. my mom said to me what the Beast read me. what the Beast said honestly yeah yeah. don't I was just trying to get back to. my old self yeah but other stuff okay. all apologize thinking of my boy this. morning that's what I hear a you know.

how pretty my mom is compared to your. mom it's unbelievable I know my mom's my. mom's actually pretty and your mom is. you know a decrep my mom is a yellow. cockroach one of her eyes is much lower. on her cheek look at George went and got. you a sugar-free Red Bull you're such a. [ __ ] brat thank you George I was just. kidding I don't no you [ __ ] War I was. just kidding you the store you were not. kidding that's rid dick you're such a. [ __ ] oh man and listen to what she said. yeah uh I have so many fond memories of. you how used how you used to run away.

from me and I couldn't run with. groceries so I got. scared you used to crawl out of your. crib at 2 and use the wall as a. backboard to throw toys back in your. crib and climb back in yeah the rage. started there how we had to change. preschool preschools three times because. you were very bored and too disruptive. you're dumb no I just would get into. fights and ruin stuff yeah because your. emotions you couldn't handle your. emotions we probably should have skipped. kindergarten and moved right into first. grade but one of my favorites is when. you were were telling dad about the DC.

trip you were going to take we were. going to go to DC in high school to go. to the white see the White House Bob. don't fall asleep I'm not I'm just. focusing piece of. [ __ ] you're you're a piece of [ __ ] I. love your mom you're such an annoying. person she a wonderful person I'm so. happy to be back how are you. rude I'm good I'm back in the studio. baby huh Miss information I feel so good. you don't know what it's like living. with her that feels good she's a good. girl she she first of all this is what. she does.

I I could I I'll record it every day I. go how are you or how is school or you. know how are you feeling yeah right not. one time has she ever asked how I am. what I ate what I'm wait wait wait why. would she want to know what you ate what. a weird thing to say no like I I always. ask her because sometimes we don't have. dinner together sure I go what you like. last night I go what' you have for. dinner tonight but that's selfish you. just want to know because you like to. think about food a lot because you're.

tub that's not true no I when you ask. somebody how you feel how are you. feeling that's [ __ ] weird no but the. food thing is weird what did you eat. [ __ ] the food thing [ __ ] the food thing. I shouldn't even use that an example you. shouldn't have so wait do you do you. never ask him how he feels jwes I think. I asked him like three days ago if he. was depressed. oh yeah because I mope around and also I. only do that that one specific case when. she asked me I exaggerate ated right my.

mood so that she would ask me so I was. like I woke. oh I'm walking through the house yeah oh. no right I'm kind of like you know what. I mean and I work I I walk in a circle. oh no no no. right right and she goes how are you are. you. depressed that's very nice I only did. that so she could I want her to ask when. I'm not acting like that well how would. she know then if you're depressed if you. just. it's not about depressing it's just I.

want her to ask me how I'm feeling about. my day my dreams I have [ __ ] dreams. Andrew what what are your dreams I want. to fly in the sky you'll never be able. to you're too too too heavy heavy no but. that's just a metaphor right oh right I. want to soar well you are soaring bro I. Want to Be Free look at you you're doing. so well but I just need people around me. in my house who asking care how not. constantly one time I every day [ __ ].

sorry how often do you ask her really. every day yeah every day and how often. do you genuinely ask him how he is um. how many times since we've lived. together in the last eight. months be honest uh maybe five times. that's that's dope one time are you. depressed three days ago you've never. asked me before [ __ ] you okay I love you. but than [ __ ] you you know so my point. is is this well no time out let's get. her perspective why do you feel like you. don't knowing that he gets bothered by.

it why don't you ask him more often yeah. because I'm scared that if I ask because. he's always grumpy every morning he is. yeah he's grumpy even in the afternoon. you know that's an attack on me no he's. grumpy in the evening when is he notp so. I don't want to like oh I'm grumpy at. night too is that what you're saying. sometimes how in what way like when. you're when you're done with your. game oh oh okay all right so you [ __ ]. look at you what you're doing right now. I'm expain no no no no so you're saying. is this hear me.

out at 2: in the morning when I'm done. playing yeah when you're [ __ ] asleep. cuz you have school at 6:30 in the. morning you witness me being grumpy no. that's crazy like at 9 or 10 9 or 10 I. so you think I walk through the house at. 9 or 10 angry and depressed sometimes. you sigh a lot like a very big and then. if one sigh right if you sigh a lot I. hey bud what's the matter no you.

wouldn't you wouldn't even notice I was. sighing but if someone in my house if if. someone in my house is sighing a lot I. would take it as an annoying indication. that they want attention if you walk. through my house and. went I go what what is that what do you. want so you I do that a lot I sigh a lot. at night yeah that's interesting because. you want someone to go WR that's the. reason why you right you you you have. never asked me how I'm. feeling I don't want to I don't want to. annoy you oh that's that's very nice she. doesn't want to annoy she doesn't want.

to bother you she acts she asks she she. acts she acts she acts okay she'd be. asking what she'd be aing yeah right as. if I'm like Kanye or something to her. maybe you are I'm not are you sure I. almost voted for him yesterday are you. being serious well I Saw The Ballot Box. I got the ballot in the mail yeah right. and it's he's first by the way on my. thing he's first but he's only he. running for vice president here and then. I Googled I Googled the Mexican guy that.

he was running with yeah Rocky de. Rocky and then he was a nice old white. man a Mexican man he looked nice yeah. and I just I don't know what it was but. I just wanted to as a as a laugh and as. a joke uh fill it out well I didn't vote. for him yeah I didn't vote for him. either I did a write in what do you mean. you can write in your own candidate who. you write in I'm not going to tell you. who I wrote in but I wrote in somebody. Ron. Howard no you love.

bread no I wrote in Jackie champ I wrote. in Jackie CH why does that make you. angry see that you deserve that your. head fell off I feel bad for vanuel. thank you for these things it sucks that. my head broke you broke it I didn't I. saw you do it the table broke it this. table sucks no I I I wrote in I wrote in. I wrote in a. candidate well if you're not going to. tell me who it is we we can move on from. that no we can say it tell me it's an. actor let me guess mhm red hat Seth. Green why no it's not a red why are you.

going to redheads it's not a red I would. just think that you that because for me. right there was a congressman running. yeah I never even knew who he was and. okay I'm GNA get in trouble for saying. this David rayu no something Fong oh uh. um I saw it on the thing yeah I saw so. right and I didn't know I didn't hear. any I didn't know who any of these. people were yeah so I I was with kalila. and I fill that Fong yeah and she goes. she caught me and she's like are you. voting for because Asian I don't know I. just like his details and his [ __ ] um.

I like his um stances on the props like. I try to make something up yeah way off. prop 12 where he says about the thing he. really hasn't right on that one y and. she's like you you just [ __ ] voted. for him cuz AG like yeah yeah that's. fine is that fine do you think black. people didn't vote for Obama because he. was do you think there's got to be some. black people that just were like I want. to vote for Obama cuz he's black right. right there's nothing wrong if you want. to vote vote for who you want to vote. for who the [ __ ] cares that's what I did. do you think wait oh oh you can't vote I.

can't no she can't but do you think let. me ask you this good do you think that. Joe Biden asked Kamala right because. Kanye ran because their name sound alike. yes no that's not why that's not why. think of my thinking Kam Kanye just. think of my thinking think of my. thinking for a second all right all. right I'm gonna ask you something ask me. please okay is um so you know obviously. this is what the theory or is is that um. some I don't know who but somebody.

encouraged Kanye to R run from the. Republican side I would say someone. someone in Kanye's head maybe it could. have been somebody it could be somebody. in his head right you got to run he's. like I gotta run but so that could have. scared people right going he's going to. get you know black votes just because. he's Kanye right to take away from the. right so do you think that Biden got. Kamala because of that fact not because. of that fact but I think he got there's. a combination of things BLM all kinds of. stuff going on can I tell you something. yeah yes you're right no are you being.

sarcastic don't say that no I think. Biden got kamla yes he wanted to get a. black woman is a is a good it helps I. think he I I imagine he thinks she's. very uh qualified and great and is going. to do great yeah but also yeah don't. wouldn't you okay how about this if you. were running for president who would be. your vice president it would Happ be. somebody completely opposite from me. right right Joe Biden's an old white guy. he got a young I would get a fat. black.

man so you'd run with somebody I know I. don't want to call him out but he's got. funny glasses so you'd run with I'm not. going to call him out so your running. mate would be chunko we know. chunko so mean he's so chunky though. he's that's he just texted me earlier. but who' you run with the opposite of me. no I couldn't ask um chunko because I. would want somebody with like um that. could do it because obviously if I'm. running MH I know my frailties I'm not.

like Trump where I'm like I know. everything right I trust me I know my. frailties you go back I know I'll be. [ __ ] [ __ ] right so I'm going to need. somebody right that you know I mean. could really imagine imagine how big. your teleprompter would need to be you. can't read the TV that's 3 feet away oh. no I would never read the prompter I. would so what would do with speech you. improvise every speech every speech all. right here we go a national address. right now you're you're the president. United oh God not this yes we're going.

to do it you're going to look right into. your camera right there no no this one. right here right that one Straight Ahead. which one right here I want you to make. a national address to the country to. tell them that we're I'm not going to be. funny about it though I want to be real. yeah of course that's what they need out. of you you're the president because a. lot of times when I do these improvs I I. I lean toward funny I'm not going to do. I want to be real about this is real all. right okay so I want do not laugh I'm. not gonna because it's not funny tell. her she's the one that does it all right. I want you to address the nation and. tell them that we're what's going on. though tell me the scenario can I tell. you yeah under attack right now we've. had a terrorist attack okay okay all.

right where in in New York City in the. subway line but can I tell you what was. going on down there what a bunch of. terrorists decided to start raping uh. okay okay okay that's all you need to. know raping and killing people in the. subway you're my secretary to defense I. just heard Subway this is what this is. what's going to go on Backstage by the. way you're my secretary to defense. you're telling me okay sir a bunch I got. it okay so you need dress of the country. I got it in three youas two New York. wait blue oh Guy hey Guy hey Guy I love.

blue Chu so much honestly you've been. using it yeah because I'm getting older. right and a lot of times when you're on. the go and you have a such a busy. lifestyle right your PE PE right don't. react um to the fundamentals of the. world hard to keep the blood flowing. down I love chewing on the blue chew. right and getting um erectile it's. awesome yeah I love it because it's the. first chewable approved by the FDA with. the same active ingredients as Viagra. and Calis but it's chewable and it's. cool and you can only chew stuff cuz you. have you have a hard time following. stuff right yeah I have to chew because.

I only have five teeth that's right five. teeth that are working blue Cho is. prescribed online by licensed Physicians. you don't have to go to a doctor's. office I know people are like I'm. weirded out I'm embarrassed fine fine. just get bluechew you don't have to go. anywhere online right by a licensed. physician you don't have to go to the. doctor's office like he said they're. made in the United States of America you. don't have to wait in line anymore chips. right to your door in a very discreet. package by the way so people don't know. what you're getting all right they're. made here right in the United States by. the way we have both used it we love it. we sometimes send pictures of each other. when we're using it right now we have a. deal for our listeners if you want to. try it if you want to see how strong you.

can get downstairs go to blue.com get. your first shipment for free when you. use the special promo code friends bad. friends baby just pay five bucks. shipping that's blue chew blue like the. color B chew.com promo code bad friends. to try it out for free it's the better. cheaper choice we want to thank them for. sponsoring the Pod okay guys thank you. support our sponsors because that's how. we keep making this possible please sure. to use the promo code bad friends at. bluechew it works trust me blu.com bad. friends better this is a serious tone um. you know during this pandemic you get. depressed and you have to deal with.

yourself and um for me uh I use better. help it it hooked me up with a licensed. therapist and it saved my life guys it's. such an easy way to um to get Mindful. and to get spiritual and connected and. um you got to take care of your spirit. and your mind and uh and better help is. a really good way to do that look for. the both of us Bob suffers from uh. certain waves of depression and anxiety. so do I we both have other issues in our. real life just like everyone that's. listening to this no one is impervious.

to feeling bad or down or different you. can start communicating to somebody in. under 48 hours it's huge they serve. clients over the entire Globe that's. true um so get on there honestly they're. committed to facilitating a therapeutic. match for you it's easy to use right. when you sign up so e simp it's super. super easy man and honestly there's no. shame in talking to people I think more. people should be using this better help. they want you start Liv the most. affordable in in in comparison to other. online services what's going on right. now for how expensive talking to people.

can be this is extremely affordable and. they want you to start living happier. you can see all their reviews at. betterhelp.com Bob and I both use it and. we do love it and I highly recommend it. go to betterhelp.com badri atelp join. million people plus who have used it uh. people have been using betterhelp so. much they're recruiting counselors so a. special offer for bad friends listeners. 10% off your first month at. betterhelp.com that's betterhelp.com bad. [Music]. friends herey heing.

okay you're my secretary def hyhy to the. people you mean I your president have a. national address for you okay as we know. our constitution creates a foundation. for in which we must react to Global. epidemics and also National ones and. something horrific occurred in New York. City. um I also want to add that um I as.

president to the people right based on. all the Amendments especially the second. one and all of them they're all. important by the way the amendments were. created right as you know a tool set in. which we can look down the line we. have we have 50 plus amendments there. are a lot.

there are a lot all right tell them what. happen there we will we'll get to that. because I ha to F I know that I have to. fill 30 minutes right but they want to. know what. happened tell them what happened. sir sir I'm sorry sorry people are dying. all. right this is no laughing. matter I apologize this is no laughting. matter right yesterday last last night. last night last night at 2: in the.

morning so so technically. today so technically technically today. right although some would assume that it. happened yesterday because it happened. in the we. [Laughter]. hours yesterday at 2 in the morning in. the Subways of our great city of New. York which is a part of the United. States of America yeah.

I'm sorry I don't know why sorry what. happened sir a gang of terrorists I say. AKA. Al-Qaeda AKA you know from. Turkey yeah Assan okay Assan and his. wife okay Assan and his wife right they. dispatched their cronies aka the Isis. right to come into our great city of New. York which happens to be in the United. States of America right M to terrorize. us right with their ideology that's.

based on scriptures that don't go. against the Bible they do go against the. Bible they have a different ideology. although be it we have freedom of. religion in this country yes so you may. worship any God that as you as you want. so I am not judging one's religion or. sect or do domination dominatrix. dominatrix right but yesterday at 2 2:32. p.m a.m. of today right in the Subways.

of our great City you. know they attacked a bunch of um elderly. people elderly people in the Subways now. what this elderly group of people were. going to a volleyball. game they were going to a volleyball. tournament right in Brooklyn right they. were going from Queens to Brooklyn right. they were this elderly B volleyball team. right they're called the. hazmatic and they were figh you know you. I mean the crutches crutchies the.

crutchies in the the final senior. citizen volleyball tournament ch right. championships in Brooklyn and they were. waiting for the subway right and as you. know at 2:32 in the morning the Subways. they don't they're not as active as. often right and they come in waves the. sub waves so in the window between you. know I mean stop and go between the two. Junctions right to the people right. hiri right no I'm not done sh I'm not.

done yeah a gang of al-Qaeda Assan. terrorists right they came in with their. masks we had no idea what was going we. have we also have the best police force. in the Subways of New York right and. they Patrol them you know I mean at. every hour in every station in every. point and we our salutes to them so we. salute them all the seniors were raped. they were raped they were bent over the.

benches down there in the Subways in a. line right and these Al-Qaeda Isis. people right they bent each one of them. over they looped their dicks because as. as you know American citizens and senior. citizens they have dry Wares because. they're getting old right they were. raped mhm then murdered then left to. rot this morning at 800 in the morning. is when they were found oh God yeah so. herei here H God Bless America we will.

get these perpetrators mhm and so. long honestly yeah pretty good I mean as. your secretary of defense pretty good. I'm impressed thank you and that's not. that's no T prompter you did it no tele. no teleprompter looking in the camera. you were very coherent coherent you were. fluid I had information lots of. information lot of information uh and I. feel like I would have I think Americans. would applaud I think we did yeah and I. think the um poll numbers would be.

favorable through the roof and I think. that um I would get another term oh yeah. oh yeah at least I think you might crack. the mold and get two or three extra on. top of it I wouldn't be able to do it. because of pressure I wouldn't be able. to be president like I was I've been. watching the show on in netf Netflix. it's called criminal oh yeah you told me. what is it is it good well it what it's. basically what it is is um the whole up. there's not lot of set pieces right it's. basically um in the interrogation room. is when it all starts yeah so it'll.

start with a guy you know I mean being. accused of something right and it's like. don't spoil anything I'm not gonna but. it's all the episodes start that way. yeah they're in an interrogation room. it's like it's like a date line right. and they're being interviewed by and you. don't know what you know they're accused. of until the dialogue it's really well. written right and a lot of them are um. some of them are innocent some of them. are not and all episodes revolve around. onek Cas right but I realized by.

watching Criminal that that's the reason. why I don't commit crimes is because I. wouldn't be able to lie in those. situations ah right I think the pressure. would get to me right and I even if I. had a plan I would be so scared in there. yeah trying to pretend to make up [ __ ]. right to make up [ __ ] that I wouldn't be. able to get my story straight I would. crumble they would they would get me. well what about this how about okay so. your theory yeah is is that by watching. those shows it deters you from doing.

something bad I yeah I I mean I don't. know no no no there's some validity to. it yeah there is validity and I I it's. something it's a question I've always. asked myself do I not commit crimes. because I'm a good person or do I not. commit cor because I just don't want the. consequences of it I think the B I'm. going to take the ladder you think so I. think because you don't want to get in. TR trub yeah but I don't there's also. crimes that I would want to do there's. crimes I wouldn't want to do fun okay. sure but how fun would it be to rob a. bank fun fun yeah but you would but if.

they knew that I wasn't going to kill. them it wouldn't be fun cuz I wouldn't. get the money well how what do you mean. if you went in there without a gun yeah. well no I even had a gun right I think. they would be able to read the bank. teller not going to hurt them well what. if you threaten them with other stuff if. you broke into the B like a little. little mini B baseball bat yeah a little. tiny like something that wasn't going to. kill him just hurt him a little bit well. I would have to hide in my jacket right. and they would say um I I come to the. front counter yeah or the is that what. call I guess yeah yeah I don't know.

account yeah it's account bank a teller. yeah teller I go to the tell her and she. would probably say something like um oh. sir can I help you hi can I help you. what are you doing today what do you. what what can I do for you today oh you. know what I would do I'd be the not guy. oh what's that you know sometimes they. say it you sliding me a note sir yeah I. would give him a note and say and I. would point to it would probably say on. the it would be folded and I would say. open okay I just so they would open it. right okay this is wouldn't have to say. anything this is a grocer list from. Trader Joe's right and I would probably.

have boxes in there okay like where you. can check oh what I wanted am I okay. with no I would ask you like may I have. all the money in the bank now oh no oh. you would say that yeah the not boxes I. wouldn't want to I wouldn't want to give. them the option you okay so you so what. does the Note say oh just on one box yes. and that's it hey give me the money yes. no I I I would probably say give me the. money I'm strapped with bombs whoa yeah. so I'm wearing Overcoat jacket as you. can tell right and I'm strapped with.

3,000 magnitude bombs 3,000 magnitude. yeah yeah yeah with promatic with. promedic toine ice what is toine in. there yes toine yeah ISO Valic you know. what I mean acid isic VD is in there. yeah and also Nate n Nom. Nate yeah some so they wouldn't know no. they woulding it up but they wouldn't. know right but just in case enough to. you know I mean dishevel enough to blow.

up the whole city just dishevel the area. and you think I say dishevel but what if. they what if they give you just a couple. hundred bucks if they're like that's all. this bank has you is a credit union I'll. go Dunkin. Donuts I go straight to Dunkin Donuts. sir you robbed a School Credit Union you. got we have $780 here I'll get the 780. okay give the 78 that's pretty good. money yeah yeah I think you don't commit. crimes because you know better but also. on your point of why you don't commit. commit crimes because those shows it's. like back when Marilyn Manson and they. were like he's making kids do crazy.

stuff and and or they're like murderous. video games are bad but then they turn. out that that's not true even a little. bit that like rates don't go up because. of video games or because of television. shows in fact it can be the opposite. yeah but here's some controversy that. just hit the airwav wait just real quick. it's like um does life imitate art or. does art imitate life one and the same. right they're intermingling they're. intering coexist like the ying and the. Yang exactly they coexist here's a good. here's a good one they're bringing back. cops Fat. Boys they're bringing it back people got.

mad they wanted it off now they're now. it's back on the air cops the show Cops. the longest running [ __ ] show about. police officers in the history of. Television cops cops cops do you hear me. right yeah I I hear you I no I'm. honestly is it is it a it's a show then. they used to be on and they're bringing. it back is that what you're saying it. was on forever it was all controversy. they took it away because I never saw it. how did you not see cops is is is it. like she's not even from here do you. know what cops is no say yes yes see is.

it like an NCIS show where they like no. man it's a reality show where cops with. real it's real they follow cops with. cameras and they show them like busting. people and [ __ ] cool holy [ __ ] I can't. believe you've never seen cops I have to. show you a scene from Cops I've seen. cops you [ __ ] idiot you know you say. that and then piece of me knows the. whole time that you have already seen it. and then a piece of me goes he's gonna. say that he's seen it to make me feel. stupid but him less uncomfortable no um.

there's a Bill Hicks joke where he talks. about the show Cops about um it's they. were usually in trailer parks uhuh right. I remember seeing it as it growing up. cops but you watch the show or you just. I loved watching the show it's always. the same thing it's different cities you. know what I mean so I lied to you it's. yeah it's a bad and I'm very no I I I. shifted your mind set and I deceived you. a bit and you believed me and I win that. one yes sorry I believed you sorry I. believe that you're dumb enough to not. know what cops are because I did sync on.

that because you are stupid so I know so. many things that you're not even aware. of name some things that you know that I. don't. know there it is ladies and gentlemen no. no I right right okay I who created the. show. xfiles come on who scanon no yeah scanny. Chris Carter yeah Chris Carter you don't. know yeah the football player Chris. Carter the X XFL some more information I. know that you don't know okay who. produced the first four heads. albums uh Marcus lowfield don't know no.

briano Shin Andino briano briano did. yeah yeah my point is I want to say. happy birthday to John Mayer because we. share a birthday today and we're Best. Buds and we both we love Johnny we love. Johnny mayor we love Johnny may what a. nice guy hey can can I tell you. something else moving forward um but I. highly recommend the show Criminal it's. better than cops doubt it doubt it um. Andre is our um our lover boy our fancy. be Andre say hi. hello sweetheart oh two Monumental.

things happened with Andre when I was. Sicky sickick yeah someone sent me a. clip clip of a guy on Tik Tok and they. said it looks exactly like Andre Okay. okay you you tell me and Rudy you chime. in if you think this this guy okay look. at this guy tell me if he looks like. Andre or fancy. b OO o oh oh oh oh oh. he's got some moves dude can you push.

pause for for a second yeah I mean I. don't I'm am impressed by Andre look at. that's not how is that not Onre I don't. want to be mean I don't want to be mean. I do I know I'm going to be okay um I. believe that you know all human beings. fall into a certain. prototype okay and it's what you do with. that prototype is what defines you how. you work with what you've got yeah. exactly right so. this young man right had the same [ __ ].

up. prototype as Andreas so they have the. same missing chromosome or whatever it. might be right right in the little bald. spot right but this young man decided. not to wear um shirts button-up shirts. with postcards on it what's what's wrong. with that I know I'm just saying right. this young man right does that thing. called. situps this man right you think he's in. better shape than Andre oh yeah he took. um dance classes right he tried to. improve right his situation right.

Andreas Andreas right Andre took the. prot the Prototype that he was given by. the Lord himself right and [ __ ] it up. a bit why what well I think he did a. great job Andreas he's a good-looking. sweet talking smart Bo guy yeah can I. eat this no no that's my [ __ ] cake. I'm eat. it I haven't eaten all day can't have. food around you yeah I I I don't eat I. don't like icing as everyone knows that.

so I'm just going to eat the breading. part the cake the breading part the Cake. part yeah it's cake underneath there. breading all right well that was that. was a guy that looked like. Andreas. thanks I love when I do that wait let me. show you something what let me show you. this we made Andre do a dance video. himself to prove to you he looks like. that guy okay he does some yeah now when. you say and get ready for his dance. skills I mean look you can see these. guys side by side let's side by side and.

let's play if I you know what dude let. let me say something now when I see it. side by side yeah Andreas is skinnier. than him yes he is dude you were going. at him for no reason Andre is an inshape. fit Andreas come in the room for a. second and he dresses well look at how. nice Andreas dress this guy in the. Rockets Jersey looks like a d come in. the room for a second com all right. let's play Let's play both these let's. play andreas' first and then we'll play. him at the same time here's Andre. dancing look come in the room look at. those uh look at that o o stand right. there uh-huh uhhuh uhuh I I apologize I.

attacked you right for no reason at all. now comparing the two videos right. couldn't do it without his mouthful by. the way couldn't wait till he was done. eating to apologize. genuinely now that I see him back I. attacked you for no reason I can't help. that you grew up in a different far away. land right that different not that far. away different cultural experience he's. from Mexico City he's from Spain same. thing okay 5 hours away closer than Kore.

all. right oh burd it's closer than Korea. okay I come for the I come in I said. come in here to give you real I said. come in here I was going to give you a. real apologies and ATT me be nice come. on that's crazy talk be nice Bob don't. be like that be nice all right I enjoy. you I really you do work really hard for. the company and I really like you also. do some work for us for Tiger belly a. lot of work and I really [ __ ]. appreciate it man okay I love you I love. you Andre let's play these side by side.

let's see what they look like just to. prove that these two. gentlemen I don't know how to play I'm. just going to play play let's see if it. works ready one two three hold. on it's so annoying we can't play music. thanks YouTube for [ __ ] being the. most annoying thing all right here we go. let's play these side by side okay and. Bob let's see let's see how let's see. genuinely let's let Rudy jwes judge Rudy. who is a better dancer of these two. gentlemen okay ready here we go B.

B I don't. know what do you think rude Andreas is. more um um Andreas is cooler Andreas is. cooler there you are that settles it Bob. Rudy is the judge let's give it up one. time for.

Andreas Andreas is a lot like a lot of. soft no I think is like like a lot of. soft liberals oh boy when they um they. want to pick um the one that's obviously. not you know not the better what does. that even mean what do what you let me. finish what I'm saying right but because. she has a sensitivity right she wants. the underdog to win she chooses Andreas. uh so you think she feels bad for. Andreas that's why but it's it's based.

on skill level I don't understand life. is yeah Andre is a very skilled man and. sometimes people get hurt some people. some people that you love aren't good. some people that you know try their best. fail and we have to acknowledge that as. a society you're wrong what if you're. wrong what do you mean what if you're. wrong what if her opinion about his. skill set is high and you're. incorrect you ever think about that yeah. I think about it all the time I think. millions of people really do love Andre. and they're begging see look at Rudy's. nauy and they're begging for what I'm.

about to show you next liquid IV for. your soul for your soul and your mind. for your soul and your body and your. mind look flu season is right around the. corner with the winter months. approaching I love liquid Ivy I like the. flavors you get healthy it's better than. water way better than water water's. boring liquid IV is delicious uh the. immune support is what I like Bobby. likes the sleep because it helps him go. to bed bed time yeah yeah when he's. staying up till 3:34 in the morning. playing video games 6 6 okay get the. facts right liquid IV is incredible you. simply pour it in the water it has a. myri of delicious flavors and it tastes.

delicious and it's also hydrating your. body baby electrolytes put them. electrolytes back inside you it's a. hydration multiplier plus plus immune. support it really does I really do love. it I it's also comes in the packaging is. easy to open Tiny rip and right into the. water it's really good man uh we both. enjoy it I like to use it during the. middle of the day he likes it at night I. like it because I like to have long days. filled with dealing with Bob and uh it's. very much with you I hate water yeah. well water by I drink it but with liquid.

IV I enjoy it you like it then oh yeah. Water by itself is boring boring very. boring it's not fun at all yeah this. stuff has great it has great stuff in it. vitamin C vitamin D zinc well immune uh. zinc is the best zinc is the best it's. easy on the go if you're not taking. vitamins in your water the easiest way. you should get this also they're. donating million 3.7 million servings in. response to covid-19 to try to get to. hospitals to help people feel better. First Responders food banks veterans and. active good people too they're very good. people liquid IV new hydration. multiplier plus immune support is.

available at Walmart or you can order on. online 25% off when you go to liquid. iv.com and use the promo code bad bad. friends at the checkout 25% off anything. you order when use our code bad friends. it helps the show liquid iv.com that. hydration get it in your body today. liquid iv.com promo code is bad friends. door Dash oh my God hey Andy. yes. um uh door Dash during this pandemic has. been so vital my surval every single day.

sometimes three times a day I know it's. true trust me I love door Dash between. never ending laundry cycles and incoming. emails you've got plenty on your to-do. list give yourself one less thing to do. to worry about and let door Dash take. care of your next meal or your next. three meals look you want Chinese food. you want pizza you want Thai food you. want sushi a FR yo you want a froo you. want Boba you can get it all on door. Dash uh we're continuing to support. restaurants in our community safely. there's thousands of people on door Dash. restaurants that need your help to stay.

open get the get the app download it now. it's so easy man all you do is go to. your phone beep boop boop download the. app and what happens Bob they bring food. where to your home directly to your home. it's extremely easy the door Dash app. choose what you want to eat order the. food 300,000 Partners in the US Puerto. Rico Canada Australia support your local. restaurants what's your favorite to. order what's your favorite little. restaurant oh I love the Cheesecake. Factory oh cheesecake I love Wendy's. Wendy's P oh I like chip yeah many of. your favorite restaurants are on there.

already just grab that app if you don't. have it what are you doing right now our. listeners can get $5 out their first. order of $15 or more and zero delivery. fees for their very first month when you. download the door Dash app and enter the. code bad friends $5 off your first order. and zero delivery fees for a first month. when you download the door Dash app in. the app store enter that code bad. friends it helps the show out we love. door Dash don't forget that's code bad. friends for five bucks off your first. order with door Dash Andre has gotten a. lot of requests from our fans to be on. only fans they want to see a little bit. more of how sexy this guy is and it's. only fans only fans is a website that.

people use to sell themselves to either. like sometimes they show nudity. sometimes it's like secret content you. know you can't get anywhere else where. only fans a lot of a lot of women do it. and they put like actresses and stuff. nudes they put like nudes and stuff up. there oh I want to know what only only. fans only fans I want to look at that so. our very own Andre fancy B has his only. fans and uh would you like to see his. only fans content we're going to give. the first video away for free okay and. then after that people got to pay you.

got to go to andreas' account and pay. Andreas what's the name of the account. to search for on only fans come check. out my only fans at fancy B fans check. it out let's let's see you want to see. fancy be's watch it's an app yeah dude. only fans I'm gonna download it let's do. stuff at like bad friend can we do a bad. friends one only fans well we want to. promote fancy B. first oh yeah okay look look okay all. right you ready there is no um wait hold. on it's a bad friend's day today so.

which shirt should I. wear let's see what shirt look at all. those shirts. Bob two. Santino not enough words in that. one maybe too many words in this. ones. um yeah no. oh yep I think we have a winner just.

enough words this one's just right now. before breakfast uh we'll play my. favorite part of last week's bad friends. cannot stand George and I miss. Andre cannot stand George and I miss. Andre cannot stand George and I miss. Andre cannot stand George and I miss. Andre feels good. well he's having a little croissant Bob. oh that's how we you see look at fancy.

real fancy this is a good. croissant anyway I think I'm ready for. another bad friend's. day see you my only fun next week. ciao so sign up for only fans if you're. looking for Content like that no that's. hot no it's it's just Doom it's just.com. and watching you learn about it while. I'm trying to show you fancy bees has. been really [ __ ]. frustrating why are you trying to learn. authorize only fans to access your. account yes let them access whatever.

they need us your user okay mhm is this. how we're going to spend the next couple. of minutes watching you learn only fans. so it says save changes my birth ches. it's my birthday okay changes. with well let me just hold on hold hold. on yeah almost there almost there yeah. so um Everybody um tell me something. yeah um let's get serious I don't want. to to talk about. it I've talked about it too.

much I know we're not going to talk. about the things you've talked about. okay okay I I I'm I'm I'm I'm GNA ask. you because you know it's like you know. um I was watching that show that. movie um not hot zones it was the one. with um Dustin Hoffman uh. Tootsie RMA. [Laughter].

maybe maybe no it's about the diseases. so um um diseases yeah is it hot zones. or what's it called outbreak heartbreak. outbreak maybe he's saying it loud hot. break outbreak it's it's it's a it's a. plague there's a plague going on it's in. some outbreak outbreak MH thank you and. um you know when you watch a movie like. that you go you think to yourself oh man. that disease is [ __ ] scary I wonder. what it feels like to have it right and.

you know Co came along right which is. like you know mysterious scary it's a. mysterious um disease yeah and um I. don't have you're the only person I. think that I know that I'm close with. that I can ask these kind of questions. because of out of curiosity yeah right. so um I'm just going to ask you some um. yes and no questions shoot and then you. can answer them for me okay. okay when you're in the height of your.

covid journey mhm can you still make. love could you get it up and have a. desire to yes of course because you're a. man uh but you can't make love to. anybody you can you can you can pound. your PUD okay good that's something I. talked about public now when you're in. the height of your Co right are you. eating things yeah you get hungry but. you can't taste anything do you also. that's real no taste no smell smell. can't smell it that's really that's real. mhm wow so if you're eating like.

um um a roast beef sandwich why exactly. yeah why am I eating that when I'm sick. ex you would be eating it I'd be eating. soup soup soup Ramen peanut butter and. jelly right stuff that me meat and. potatoes simple stuff not meat and. potatoes at all I just a term that was a. term simpler than meat and potatoes. right um but not meat and potatoes it. should be called peanut butter and jelly. peanut butter um so let me ask you this. um. um is it worse than the.

flu uh my personal experience felt just. like a flu to it felt like what I've had. when I had a flu so if there was no if. there was nothing if we've never had. covid right and you got this You' just. be like oh I have a nasty flu if we. didn't know what Co was I would go man. I've got this weird [ __ ] up flu it. feels weird Okay so it was then it's. different than a flu it's different but. this but simp things mocked each other. like like tired very tired like the flu. achy body aches for a day two days what.

about the lung stuff people talk about. so that that affects some people I. didn't get pneumonia I didn't get a lung. infection I mean as far as I know I. didn't have restricted breathing and I. didn't have pressure on my chest which. people say so I didn't have that but. I've heard that that's [ __ ] bad right. but mine felt like um your [ __ ] someone. beat the [ __ ] out of your head oh. headaches bad headaches like when it's. like in that movie The Dark the third um. Dark Knight where um Batman the third.

Dark Knight which one yeah when he. punches Bane right in the maskie and. remember the little comes and he. goes right is that what that genuinely. hurt that really is that what it felt. like yeah oh that's yeah I was it's very. banish yeah how very banish yeah how. long did it last though the. sickness the like feeling sick is a. probably a week and some change. wow but then after that you're just kind. of residual effects from being sick.

because you're lazy and you're tired so. you're even more tired because you're. being lazy and would you want it again. huh would you ever want it again what a. dumb question would I want to get a. [ __ ] virus again no I didn't want to. get it in the first place it's just a. yes or no question man that's [ __ ]. crazy sorry ask sorry ask me again would. you want it again no what a dumb. question okay that was a dumb question. no I don't want I would filter these. questions do do I um is it one of those. things where I was I tell you what you. know what scares you the most is that.

you don't know enough right when you get. when I get a sinus infection when I get. all the time I get them three four times. a year I know what's happening I know. what's to come so there's a element of. unknown fear yeah and I don't think and. I don't think speculation in the media. helps either because everyone's like. [ __ ] what if I what if I get what if I. get what if I get what if I get right. and and it perpetuates hits people in. different ways I hear so it's like some. people it's really really bad yeah some. people end up in a coma my buddy's Mom. I'm sorry my buddy's Aunt went into a.

coma that's crazy yeah yeah and when she. came back out she couldn't speak English. wow she spoke Japanese that's that's. well she learned a new language I know. weird you can learn it's a difficult. language to learn no the poor woman she. literally came but she survived thank. God but when she came out um yeah she. had to relearn I mean it's [ __ ]. insane it's it's so sad it's disgusting. so some people are luckier than others. that's are you mad at the guy that gave. it to you yeah. no cuz you know what what it's 30.

million [ __ ] people dud no I'll be. honest with you how could. you I have to throw my two can I throw. my two cents in should throw them on the. table number one it. disrupted our business yeah the pod pod. yeah it did it was tough doing it from. home I took it personally yeah because. now my friend's sick I I'm going through. unknown questions right you know do I. have to do one with Eric. Griffin you know I mean do I have have. to team up with your me chunko over here. right so I'm think I'm laying in bed.

going we can call we called um fat. friends oh I don't know whatever you. know because I'm fat too right that's. true right so that's number one and. number two I'm like I hope he doesn't. die yeah I hope I didn't die too yeah. yeah that would be sad yeah and then. also then also it disrupted then we we. when we did the podcast I mean granted. you know this the podcast we've done. with with you sick right we did the best. we could with those we had some fun but. what's great about you and I together I. need to see you we have to be in the.

same because you have a certain energy. right that I respond to and in the the. three that we did you know with you you. without you um it felt didn't feel the. same for me but you did get some. enjoyment you told me after the fact on. the phone that you like doing it with. your with your brother it felt really. good well I hadn't seen Steve since the. pandemic so how nice so that was nice so. this though so Corona I would rather not. you get Corona for that sometimes you. got to get Corona to bring Brothers. together now will you go to Hawaii when. I go I don't know I'm thinking about. we're trying to plan it cuz I start.

shooting Davey season 2 when you go to. Hawaii yeah it's hard you know where are. you. staying I don't know well tell the. people so they can come say hi well I'm. staying in in Honolulu somewhere but I. I'll have days off when we when we find. out what hotel Bob is in we're going to. tell you guys because we want the fans. of Hawaii to be able to come say hi to. you no not in the people person you love. people everyone I'm going to tell you on. my Twitter what hotel he's in I'd like. you to go say hi to him and bring him. gifts during the day in the hotel we can. drop off gifts at the um I want them to.

wait outside of your room so when you. wake up they can have gifts for you in. the hallway oh like Henry La you know. Henry La is Henry LA and put some rose. petals on the floor when you leave is. she going Rudy are you going to ha Havi. um I don't know yet that's a. no it's up to it's a yes obviously. everything's you know it's so funny Rudy. it's so it's so funny you know it's like. everything's up to her well I have no. saying anything if if Auntie kalila goes. um you like she orders food right she'll.

go it's good huh jwes and every her does. it could be a pile of dog [ __ ] Juliana. will go it's great auntie kalala right. what if she likes taste of it I no if I. order something right it's good right. okay oh I never I never said that I. never said that yeah yeah yeah you never. aside with me why don't you and you. never you're never on my side be honest. Jules is it because you like atie Kila.

way more you just genuinely like they're. blood they they share blood doesn't. matter there's people that I'm blood. with that I don't like as much as I like. strangers that's true that's a true. point is it because you really love her. more than you love no I love them both. equally that's impossible and that's a. lie everyone that says that is such a. lie yeah when someone say about their. kids like I love my kids the same no. they don't no they [ __ ] don't they. hate one of them for sure yeah so be. honest what is it really. say it say she she's got it loaded up. she just doesn't want to unload say it.

be honest this is a time to be honest he. wants it I want it okay I love I think. Kila a little bit more mhm God that. hurts oh [ __ ] that hurts so bad I know. it did oh [ __ ] that's now now now now. instead of taking this negatively the. way she did that oh the way the way she. did it it was really honest yeah don't. take this negative Bob how about this I. he hey can I say this what can you do to. beat her love there's no way I'm going. to say this money get. I already know that yeah right but you. have to understand that I know that and.

I'm trying yeah he is right and you. don't are you're not giving me the. opportunity I do yeah and um you know I. I'll I'll add another thing even though. you hurt me just now all right that I. will continue to look at this finger I. will continue look how tiny your pinky. is I know I will continue to try for the. rest of my.

life even though it's. moot even though I know okay that it's. never going to work in my favor that. you're going to betray me wow right and. that um it's a love I'll never get. okay are you okay with that I love Tito. Bobby and I side with him sometimes. never sounds like never she's a liar.

you're a [ __ ] hey hey hey hey be nice. Mong be. nice be nice sorry I apologize do you um. are you still having trouble in your. sleep by the way I have sleep apia no I. know but are you using a machine now no. cuz when we talked you said you were. going to get it checked out you didn't. yeah I I I'll wake up at 6:00 in the. morning not be able to breathe I know. but Bob you got to go see somebody if I. die I die okay that's true and I'm at a. point now because you have to understand. that imagine dying in your 49 I know but.

you don't want to die inep you think you. think to yourself when you turn almost. 50 I'm almost 50 you think to yourself. right um You kind of start googling when. did this person die right yeah and I. always have a thing like you know Keith. Richards he's alive I know oh but he's. my like meter oh when he dies you die no. when he dies I'll know that's pretty. much around the time I'll die I think. you think you live the same life that. Keith Richard did I think he he snorted. his dad you know that yeah did he mixed.

in his dad's ashes did cocain Dad no. it's still in the box right and he. snorted it he's done every drug in the. book he smoked cigarettes until he was. like n you know whatever right and he's. still walking around so he's my meter. like you know oh he's still alive I have. a shot okay what about guys that just. did it's like I'll be honest with you. you know um I always thought that if I. got covid that I would die immediately. no but when Trump. went got through it it kind of gave me. like hope like I can live through it.

right it's just it's kind of like that. yeah but you still when you're when you. turn when you get toward 50 you. literally start thinking about death a. lot and your mortality I maybe not. everybody but I I. think are you gonna die I don't know I. almost di this now not every second of. every day it's it's every once in a. while all right how do you how do you. want to die not in your sleep oh for. sure my sle. why Bob I don't want to [ __ ] die. walking down the like walking around I.

do hey John yeah I don't want to that. but I want to know I'm dying I want to. have the moment of oh my God I'm. dying I don't want to just be in bed. like having a dream and then and then. die in my yeah if I'm in a dream right. and I die I'm not what what it's like. being in a blackout drunk and ding but. you'll never know that you died you're. not going to know anything even if you. die after you die cuz if you know no but. if you know you died when you died you. shot you knew it was real right but if. there if there's nothingness if there's.

no God and there's no Heaven what if you. already died in your sleep and this is. all just the. afterlife well then I I would. have what if dude what if you've already. died that's my point I want to see that. I did it I want to go I want to see that. I'm like oh God I'm dying and I'm going. to die die and then if there's no. afterlife and there's if you're a good. Christian like does matter okay if there. for instance if I'm in my sleep right.

and I open my eyes and I go holy [ __ ]. I'm on a cloud hanging out with. Cleopatra I've said that before right. and like um I would love to see um. Coleman Ronnie Coleman. no what's his name Coleman Different. Strokes oh Gary Coleman that's. right so Cleopatra right Cleopatra G. Gary Coleman Gary Gary Goldman is that. no Gary Gary Coleman Gary Coleman yeah.

the um Carri golaw the television little. person TV LP yep and I'd be hanging out. there on a cloud and I'd open my eyes. right yeah and I'd be like did I die and. then Gary col go yeah buddy you did you. know what I mean no you know what he he. [ __ ] that joke up why I'm Gary Coleman. okay ask me if you you're dead did I. die what' you talk about. Willis uh I was that's to it didn't work. didn't work okay. [Laughter].

I love it when bits don't work so funny. is that fun so fun that little moment. when I've done that on stage way like. you right you go I know didn't work 100%. that this joke is going to work right. and you you you you when you're driving. to the club right yeah you get excited. and then when the guy's in front of you. on stage you just kind of go hurry up I. have I have a new bit right and you get. up on stage and you see the punchline. and it doesn't work and it's compl. completely silent it that feeling is the. [ __ ] worst it's the best actually I.

think it's so fun and I what would what. do you do in that situation I ackn I. acknowledge it you have to acknowledge. it I go wow on the way here yeah yeah I. thought that was good and you guys. really let me know how bad it was I. would even go into like I was I would. say everything I just said before coming. even doing to this bit right now right I. was excited to come up here right and. wow and if they don't laugh at that. right you're now in a hole well then you. usually go I've seen you you usually go. oh [ __ ] you guys and then you turn and.

then they love you again snap snap yeah. so look I'm being serious you need to go. get sleep apnea help no Bob kalila. doesn't want to wake up with you dead. because you couldn't breathe in the. middle of the night what an annoying way. to find your but all all that happens is. I don't die right yeah correct you don't. die I didn't die yet I know but if you. get how you then you you definitely. won't die happen Okay so what I'm saying. is is that you know I'll just continue. this way of doing things roll because it. didn't happen okay right okay it's just.

hearsay it's weird to be so safe about. Co but not care about dying in your. sleep cuz one of the two you have much. more control over cuz I know I have. friends that have it I have a friend. that has to sleep with the breathing. machine Joe Koy he has it oh yeah but. he's in pretty good shape too no he has. the thing he has to sleep with. the all night long that's what they. hear so what's worse you die in your. sleep or her listening to the hum of. that machine she probably wants you dead. that's what happens people just unplug.

the machine what that's what'll happen. you could fill can you do that fill it. with stuff can you fill can you get. murdered that way you can fill it with. like toxic fumes yeah I imagine like you. just light a cigarette and you stick it. and you blow it in you'd love that if I. just oh yeah would be great that would. be great you could smoke while you sleep. yeah you need to get help I'm being. serious it's so dangerous well I mean. maybe I'm waiting for an intervention. I'll do a thing on the show yeah a.

friend of mine so let me let me say this. a friend of. mine you need to eat your cupcake is. there more I don't know dude I didn't. bring them it's my [ __ ]. birthday you should have brought me some. [ __ ] my friend Dave from my show Davey. that you make fun of Dave got me a. [ __ ] beautiful cake a big beautiful. cake he dropped off to my house okay. that's that's different because I'm way. more friends with you than I am with him. I'll tell you why it's different I've. known you for a decade I'll tell you why. it's different.

please um like you know when I go to. Hawaii I'm going to do Magnum PI oh my. God are you plugging your [ __ ] Magnum. I'm I'm GNA give you an example please. let me get there please. God and when they text me right Aloha. like if Jay Hernandez the star texts me. Aloha how's it going I respond to him. right away cuz he doesn't know that I'm. a piece of [ __ ] yet well he's GNA when. this comes out that's what I'm saying is. that because you're working with Davey.

right so you you put on the best face. possible you and I are already friends. he know Dave knows me too yeah but. you're not there yet with him okay so. you're saying because we're real friends. you don't care about me I know I care so. more deeply about you more deeply than. you wouldn't want to do J we don't we're. we we're Beyond gifts we're past. gestures of niceties no we don't you and. I have an internal [ __ ] did I go to. v's and get you a cake yeah and I'll. tell you one thing it wasn't good you. didn't eat it I don't eat Von's cakes.

you just did hold on time out time out. time out was it good though you want. another one pretty good yeah it was from. V it was got he got it from Vons for. real got me really Andre is it from Vons. it is yeah it is let me ask you. something you know is and and this is. and V isn't bad stop it's not it's not. joh John's is worse it goes John it goes. John's Vons no first of all it goes.

smart and final John Let's rate the LA. ones all right go gson at the top at the. top Gelson's is number one right and. then there's a Pavilions Pavilions is. pretty close to Whole Foods so what's. what's Whole Foods top then but it's to. the it's not even in the gr it's its own. thing it's own thing it's Amazon it's. Amazon but so it goes It goes Gelson's. gson Pavilion Pavilions Safeway Safeway. no no Ralph's no no no I think I think. Ralph's in safe I think because rock and. roll Ralph's in Hollywood is scary it's.

great though I saw I saw a guy when you. see like Marilyn Manson there like. eating an apple that's fun but then you. go there in the middle of the night it's. on Sunset one time I was going there. before I went to the store I saw a. homeless guy cuz they're all over in. that little strip right there walked in. I love that walked in grabbed a. newspaper and spit at one of the. employees I love it all right yeah I've. seen like monest Mouse there the band. yeah yeah I've run into them there who. else I've um I've seen Marilyn man there. eat an apple he's just eating an apple. inside the Ralphs yeah he wasn't even. paying for I think he was just eating it. in the fruit.

section he can't afford to no he was. just he was doing one of those things. where Marilyn like everyone was like oh. my God holy [ __ ] it's Marilyn man he's. eating an apple he's like I got to eat. this apple he would never think that he. would be eating an apple you would think. that he'd be eating a human heart like a. bat yeah or something right but he's. eating a fresh you know it was not even. a red one imagine you went up to him. you're like hey yeah why are you eating. an I thought you'd be eating like a. human. heart Mar Manson's like listen dude I. had to years of doing that kind of stuff. I really had to curb it my doctor said. my blood pressure is through the roof. I've seen there I've seen dice there.

Andrew Dice Clay yeah I. mean yeah but we see him at The Comedy. Store too that's not like tell you who. I've seen there all right give me. someone and then there other actors like. Spanish actors I've seen there who I. don't know their names but they're like. like oh that guy's on the moart show on. Hulu oh that guy yeah oh that guy's good. yeah why can't think of his name I don't. know that's why I didn't say it oh [ __ ]. yeah sorry that guy that guy's good yeah. he's seen fancy B know say it again we. can't hear. youal oh dude you know what his [ __ ].

he's doing the accent got got to get I. hate when they do that annoying yeah. give me the [ __ ] American version of. whatever you just said Gabrielle Garcia. Gabriel Garcia someone like that yeah. he's. like why do they do that on the the. Rollings thing I know stop it can you. roll g g I've never been able to roll. no can't do my tongue am I good fancy be. or no ready goodi so yeah so goes Ralph. and then what what then Vons Ralphs.

Ralph's then Vons and then John's John's. and then Smart and Final Smart and Final. and then the last one is where do you. shop. George Trader Jo's swish yeah swish yeah. where is it George what's the. bottom I do vs usually he does Von yeah. yeah yeah yeah smart and finals probably. dead last unless or 99 Cents Store does. that count that's not they don't have. fruit there they have groceries no yes. they do dude they sell produce when I.

first moved to LA my old roommate used. to buy eggs there and I was so scared. yeah I was like 99 cent eggs for 12 eggs. yeah that was so scary I mean I ate them. do you ever eat at places like it says. Chinese food and. donuts and La has so many places that. says Pizza kebabs Mediterranean Sushi. yeah yeah and you're like I will never. eat that no you do too many things. Master one thing there's one place on. the way to the there's one place here in. the valley that's called H Salt Fish and.

Chips I've eaten there I loved I used to. live right I used to live on Camario. yeah right there right there by the way. terrible the worst place on Earth yeah. it the fish first of all I don't even. know if it's fish not fish yeah look at. the reviews on Yelp oh I don't even know. we need I need keep talking about it cuz. I'm going to bring it also you know it's. supposed to be you know it's supposed to. be fish and chips right that's all yes. yeah um why is it wet. like it the breading everything's wet. hold on H Salt Fish and Chips this is it.

right here H Salt Esquire Esquire oh my. God it's called H Salt Esquire that's. what the the nerve of this [ __ ] place. all right uh it's a chain H Salt Fish. and Chips no this is it right here oh no. that's in saltel oh wow is it really. chain oh my God yeah well I well maybe. some of them are better than that one I. can't imagine look at this one this is a. photo on the Yelp page okay that's not. okay that looks like there's no fish in. there by the way that looks like fish.

and chips as one that's a fish and chip. fish and chip yeah yeah that's fish and. chip oh there first of is that supposed. to be the French fry or the [ __ ] fish. bar this is this is their Yelp Page look. at that photo insan that afterward what. is that right there I don't even know. what is look at that discoloration what. part of the fish is that that's black. that's its heart yeah all right so let's. see some of these reviews from the. fishing chips oh there's some good ones. uh okay but let's go to the bad ones. that's going to that's the only oh whoa. whoa that's a five star five star.

baby let's sort by newest she was high. there they are they always put best up. first Yeah Wendy says worst customer. service ever the owner screams and. treats every customer so bad the day I. went in she decided she was going to. first have my food Asian by the way no. [ __ ] she said he screams and treats. everyone so bad but but based on that. please don't assume that he's Asian I. did I'm just telling you he is I've been. there I know because I read what it just. said I know but what you're doing is a.

racist you know how is that racist I've. never been yelled at by a black or a. white owner of a restaurant I've only. been yelled at by Asian owners in. restaurants generally they are Asian. right always but don't not always but. hurry up and pick up every time that's. not it number two now yeah every time. why is it this when you're in a Chinese. restaurant right and there's so calm. when they're talking to her but when. they turn to their so this is what I get. would you like to hear about our. specials right yeah um they tell you the. special yeah I'll I have number three. okay number three and then she'll she'll. he'll turn around.

go that da right and kind turn back why. do they do that because they need to. communicate loudly to the back of the. kitchen how about this take the [ __ ]. order right and walk back there now let. he yell let him bark baby let him bark. okay so so yeah he is I've been there. chines the day I went in decided uh. first it's a woman on this one she first. going to decide to have my food. photographed and then packed it up. expected me to be happy with it then she. didn't even want to give me my money. back when I didn't want the food. horrible customer service so he she.

wanted to take photos of it it looked so. terrible what happened H Salt the H Salt. is off the building by the way that's. true the letter H is falling off the. building it's very funny prices have. doubled fish is a burnt. rectangle lady will yell at you to put. the food in the bag I said I was eating. outside of the table she ran over to. take it away from a tray so I could. Carri a cardboard box wow this can't be. an H Sal franchise something is wrong is. it 80 cents extra for some tartar. sauce G yeah regardless of Co this lady. is very rude loud loud and yells why.

this is great everything is overpriced. she tricks you into making things a. combo and charges you for sauces well. that's good that's just good business. yeah yeah that's craf business I was. there with my friend for lunch two fish. sandwiches of fries the worst sandwich. I've ever had in my life bad. service this is mean we should go there. and write a really good review I think I. want to I want to eat it though this is. one of the worst quality fish and chip. spots in the West. Coast zero seasonings disappointed I am. British this is valid okay yeah let me.

read it like this guy benj uh Benjamin V. disappointed I'm British and this was. not tasty chips were French fries and no. chiffy. chips I don't want [ __ ] yeah fish was a. fin rank tangle barely any fish i' F the. other at s and this is not good yeah but. then he took pretty good photos that. looks okay this is my favorite chips. with french fries and no chiffy chips. well clue in Benjamin we eat chips here.

uh in a bag those are Doritos we eat. fries and those are french fries not. chippy chips Ben this is good one. haven't said haven't had it since I was. seven great service great food thumbs up. do you think that's her at night writing. these that's her Chinese lady this is. her she's like get a picture of Mexican. boy put it up there Constance that's. five from her yeah Donnie is three so. it's not it's it's not too bad but it. does scare me on the way on the way. through is there a good place in LA to.

get uh fish and chips I've heard on the. West Side they've got good spots but I. don't go near the beach Connie and teds. you it's a ripoff I it's look it's good. food but Connie teds why am I paying 80. bucks for it's a great place it's a it's. good Connie tent is great I've had fish. and chips there it's good I used to live. up literally around the corner for I get. it right and the CH and the [ __ ]. sushi place next door yeah don't go. there you know why why my buddy got. [ __ ] worms from it exactly not. kidding right got worms count tons T is. good it's good yeah it's good you you. you're the type of person right I cook.

my own fish okay but you're the type of. person I cook my own fish can I just say. what kind of type of person you are the. guy who cooks his own fish yeah you are. that type as well right but you're the. type right that orders at a place like. Connie and Tad's sure right and um then. you get the bill right and you go geez. pricey huh Whoppers man sure wasn't. worth it. you know the price though man it's just. fish and you know I mean some some.

flavorings and some and whatnot but why. is it and then you're the type of person. that probably goes we tell the waiter. like he has no [ __ ] control over it. right you'll be like wow man I you you. probably do a joke I had to mortgage my. house on this one do some sort of joke. right and they're like what do you mean. he like I mean an arm and a leg and a. thigh take everything well can't be an. arm and a leg and a thigh your thigh is. on your leg already yeah yeah the joke. wouldn't work right it doesn't make any. sense that you would say right right. that's you right and then you probably.

like stand up and make a ped D look at. the tables yeah yeah. boy there something I don't know what. the joke is you're that type of person. though what you talk about. Willis okay so check this out I'm want. to play this for you this is [ __ ]. insane the reason I need you to get help. with your sleep apnea okay is cuz they. have these apps now that measure how you. sleep when you sleep and also they can. record you if you talk in your sleep. okay a good friend of mine talked in his.

sleep it's voice activated he leaves it. next to his bed okay and it just picks. up [ __ ] in the middle of the night so. when he. starts it turns on you need to get this. [ __ ] thing listen to this this is so. this is real though this is 100% real. comedian no this is a friend of mine. from back home okay good this is insane. you can fake it you know uh this is good. fck [ __ ] be beting me [ __ ] what.

[ __ ] there's no way 100% swear to God. in my life he sent me a dozen of them. the app logs it so they put it next to. your bed when you're sleeping and it. just turns on the moment you start it. starts do he not listen I go what the. [ __ ] is wrong with he does that's why. he's scared he wants to go get help. because he's talking his sleep too much. Fu crazy. I got to get the app what's it. called oh yeah [ __ ] prove list.

[ __ ] this thr this wow he's like mad. in his sleep yeah he swears a lot too he. does. yeah. that 200. that well do give you kick those like no. problem bro this this this sounds it. sounds a little bit like he's. speaking Yeah like a language.

almost except number 200 that he's drunk. maybe he's drunk in the dream sober no. but he's in oh in his dream he's drunk. yeah in the dream he's at a bar that's. good and he's whispering to like you. know some old you the regular the old. lady that sit sah that's an alcoholic. and he's telling some story to her funny. do that it could be it listen to it. again you just say here think of it in. that way and.

then doesn't give you kick it makes. sense yeah yeah yeah he's wasted what is. he in this. one she has to walls pull r. time do it.

oops oh I know what he is I know what. he's doing what he's. teaching wait in front of a class do you. want to know how C you you're G to think. I'm insane what he used to teach ESL. yeah that's what he's doing that this is. seriously swear to God yeah that's so. creepy that's what I heard he's teaching. but he's not he's walking around the. class. right and he's telling a student. something because he you know you know. where he lived out of college I don't. know who you this person is a good.

friend of mine guess where he lived out. of college if he Tau ESL he taught ESL. English as a second language. where newshire if I'm referencing you as. my friend where do you think he lived. when he taught ESL English as a second. language New York out of this country. Spain where do you think he lived. Jules I don't know out of this country. exactly BF CH exactly. New York CHS thank you Andre South Korea. exactly [ __ ] South Korea so he's.

telling this to a student a South Korean. student. mhm that's why he's walking around the. class he's not walking but that's what. he's that's something banging in his bed. exactly that's what he's doing she has. to walls pull her. R tell it oops Yeah oops you got the. answer wrong that's what oops you got. the answer wrong is that really what.

that is yeah huh we got to help my buddy. though isn't that [ __ ] wild talking. in his sleep but what's the ABS because. I want to do it sleep talk how obvious. how [ __ ] annoying and obvious sleep. talk is the name of the app thank you. for being a bad. friend wo. woo. yeah woo.