Poo Man On The Wall | Ep 193 | Bad Friends

hey bad friends we got new merch okay. guys check out these beanies these. beanies high quality very high quality. yeah I love them so I love the way they. turned out dude these if you're not. you're not cool if you don't have one. you're not cool if you don't have one. we're back to the old school the OG our. OG faces on here it says bad friends on. the back turn around and show them what. it looks like on the back the shirts are. so high quality these are so comfortable. oh look at that dude the OG is back on a. bad friends merch.com badf friends. merch.com the site is live right now and. on that site you can also sign up for. the email list and that email list let.

you know when we're dropping new stuff. exclusive stuff and our patreon shout. out to our patreon members the top tier. is going to get a discount on merch and. also the bad friends are on the road. baby we only got we only got a few dates. left hey guys this weekend guess what. we're going to be in Milwaukee Wisconsin. Milwaukee with the cheese heads then in. Chicago then Illinois yeah we do. Minneapolis and madnes so Minneapolis. and Madison that empties out the year. for us and in 2024 we are coming around. the bend we're coming to Atlant City New.

Jersey Salt Lake City Utah Tula. California Reno Nevada Sacramento. California Long Beach California Engle. wood then we're in Windor Ontario Canada. Windsor Canada then we're in Niagara. Falls Canada yeah Tucson Arizona Tucson. and then we finish out 420 Vegas Nevada. man Vegas 420 get your tickets right now. go to bfsp pod.com badri. pod.com manc Mary balls Miss from our. friends over at manscaped we get 20% off. and free shipping with you the code badf.

friends manscape.com that's 20% off with. free shipping at manscape.com and use. code bad friends manscaped get your. jingle balls ready for the holidays you. two are bad friends who are these two. idiots a white dude and an Asian dude. you two are. disgusting you two are something we're. bad friends can I pour you some $35. water wait is this real though yeah look. it's never been opened are you sure yeah. look I told them we had to get you a. real one.

this is the real water look the seal is. there yeah but they I saw no they did. the seal give me a cup please so I can. $38 bottle ble water this is what I. deserve how do you feel my little prince. me I'm grateful to see you guys grateful. to see you as well I've had three days. of family Family Day yeah I went to. Disneyland how was Disneyland dude. Disneyland's are the best huh yeah when. you have the the yeah clearance that you. got I didn't get a clearance but let me. say something I I'll give you the my my. um um the one with the what's the one.

with the lady the. cat they're the crazy cat she went in. the hole Alis yes that I did that I did. the Green. Man I the green man the Hulk no no no. the green kid Peter Pan Peter Pan you. knew what I'm saying they GRE man so. those two what did they have in Korea. was it all different in Korea yeah yeah. yeah yeah um they had China Pan China. Pan yeah yeah and China Pan was all in. yellow and he had a rot in the sky.

and it was beautiful what are we doing. so anyway I went to Disneyland what is. it nine things you didn't know about. Disneyland's Star Treatment what does. that mean well you got star Tre in at. Disneyland you I didn't jum the line no. I I got a chaperon somebody held your. hand as you walked around the disne well. no I just go hey can we go on the green. man she goes Peter Pan I go yeah and and. she go I go how much is the way there's. no way you go to the front of the line. we yeah with and there's you know so. there's Mexican you know what is that.

wheelchairs they're in line for 9. hours why you get bro you know what I. mean and I'm always. like yeah you know Ching but my point is. and then um so you walked by paralyzed. kids waiting for their dream run I don't. if they were paralyzed but they were. they're all paralyzed at Disneyland. here's what else do you get um do you. get a free a nice dinner do you get a. nice food well you can get reservations. I didn't want to do any of that you. didn't want to eat there huh no well in. in the Star Wars land they had this like. thing where it was like a um a p thing.

with um you know um stuff that they get. on Tatooine some sort of vegetable they. get shipped straight from Tatooine wow. and it was pork meat oo yeah and you. know porks pretty Chewbacca loves them. and then what else I did Star Wars I did. the menelan Vulcan but you know what I. did the incredible roller Co you sound. like when an 8-year-old goes to. Disneyland I did incredible and then we. did the Green Man then we and we got. pork and then and then and then what. else did we and oh you know we Guardians. the G.

who that was fun too but the incred we. did the incredible coaster twice it's. pretty fun so it sounds like you had a. good time uh so you went to both parks. yeah you went to both parks I guess so. you went to Great Adventure what's it. called Great Adventure californ. California Adventure I go I and then. after at 5 we Lo lost her at five and. she goes um well we can do a couple more. I go no we're. fine what do you mean you lost her at. five the guide was done no CU you yeah. you you pay for a certain chunk right. and I was just like it's so expensive I. was like no we're good how much is it I. can't say it on that there go ahead and.

do it well you guess people could Google. it I'm sure yeah you guess uh is it per. person or just for the for the time I. don't know I mean I just go what is an. hourly what do you think what was an. hourly an hour with a private guide and. skip the line a thousand an hour yeah I. don't know no I don't know I don't know. way less oh 500 100 right between what. 250 an hour was 700 something an. hour right between you have to do it. eight hours what do you know how you. [ __ ] just did that no you said a. th000 I go no you said 500 I go in.

between so in between 500 and 1,000 you. said way less way less than 1,00 not way. less 750 is not way less than a thousand. that's not much I just don't want the. people listen to think that I have a lot. of money 750 an hour that's [ __ ] wild. cool you ever done did you ever get to. do that with him no no would you ever. want. to yeah yeah you would want the privileg. do right would you want to go on the. Green Man you the green man I just don't. know how anyone because they're two hour. lines yeah people yeah people spend. their whole they spend their whole and.

they play these like cuz a lot of. Mexicans they play Hey bro let's do. Mexican let's see on a you give me a. Mexican name and a right so they go okay. um Alejandra or whatever you know me and. then they play these game I don't know. what kind of games they play I that. sounds like it arando but it was fun and. then then where else did I go so then we. went to then um um Universal too oh my. God yeah the next day Jesus yeah it's. pretty good so you're exhausted I'm.

I'm gone you're not even here I'm a dead. man is he more Hollywood than you now. did Andrew I'm not more Hollywood than. him go ahead no chance Andrew can I. clean your new house no no cuz we need. someone that can that's profession also. also the best yeah but I don't want to. get robbed and know it's an inside job. from her bunch of Filipinos that's so. offensive because she is better than. anyone else you could get but I know. what she does at your house and I don't. want her to come over after doing like. an hour poop scrub and then have to come. clean my house she would probably pick a.

different day yeah okay but she does a. great job I want you to wear a hazmat. suit I don't have a house but if I do. get another one I would you have a nice. house and I was there for your little. vacation um party you had the other day. thanks man and it was fancy people there. producers no really the big movie that I. did with let me just say this and I want. to get a fight with you because I'm in a. mood it seems like you're begging for a. fight all. day trying to start I'm poking I'm. poking yeah because I just haven't seen. people in 3 days so I'm just saying well.

don't take it out on me I won't take it. out on these [ __ ] let me just get. this out yeah and then can you get mad. about this whole thing that's going on. over there what's going on here then. well you know I you know what happened. with Carlos why don't you talk about. that Carlos called me crying on on. Friday I mean he was really upset all. right tell the fans we should be honest. if we're going to be honest about. everything tell the fans okay let's be. honest about all of it then all right. then he's in [ __ ] He's Carlos moved. back to Texas and he's no longer on the. show Good well he deserved it really. yeah yeah pissed me off he upset Bobby.

pretty bad he pissed me off Bobby had. text me about 30 times and four calls. and I finally picked up I was outside. and I got my phone and I was like what's. going on and what did you say I he's. gonna get fired he's irresponsible you. said he has to be fired now he has to be. fired now because but I don't feel the. same way now oh so well we fired him so. I I feel different I can call him you. want him back I can call him can I get. him back well hold on yeah in lie of. this we had a little bit of a. replacement here M yeah but once I saw.

the replacement I was like no I want to. you want Carlos back back yeah but mcon. put in some effort to be your Carlos. will you tell. him I had to go full Carlos for you. Bobby are you ready yeah look at. this I did that for you okay my. beautiful hair is for people that can't. see the show Mone has shaved his head. Carlos and man is it awes I want to say.

this okay look at this show play the. video play look his buddy came over to. his house an hour ago and shaved his. head in his living. room and this is all based on the fact. that I said last week I said you really. want to be Carlos and you said can I. please be at the board please and I said. do you really want to be Carlos I said. well then you ought to shave your head. like Carlos and be bald like him and. dude commitment he committed let's give. it up for the commitment that's good. commitment that is huge I'm going to. double down on it what do you what you. want him to go to a glory h no no no and.

I'm we're GNA do I'm really goingon to. do this I'm in a mood okay be in the. mood I really respect that and that's. aame dude and that's clutch and I love. it right but here's the de deal we're. cutting that part out so you did that. for no. reason so we're going to cut that whole. thing put the hat back on put the hat. back on put the hat back on right leave. it off it's fun no put the hat back on. right you're going to keep that on there. right we're going to cut the shave thing.

up so you did that for no reason and I. think and that's that suffice to me so. mean it's even funnier though no no no. no don't do don't test me it looks. [ __ ] funny don't test me do not or do. not test me right now dude we're going. to keep it in that's insane why would. keep it out for an now keep so funny. leave his head on it looks great look. how good he looks well you're not my. Carlos then bend down what happened to. Carlos B yeah what did happen to Carlos. um. I don't want to get into my personal.

life okay but if you if I may I may you. don't have to why don't you call Carlos. and but let me say this okay he had to. do one job he was supposed to pick. somebody up from the airport he supposed. to arrange a car right so for a week. every day I'm just like dude so you got. it he said I'm on it it's already booked. right and I go okay every day dude you. got it yeah dude the name birthday. everything he's going to be there right. the 11:00 happens I wake up this person.

calls um yeah um there's nobody here so. I go what the [ __ ] and I called the. company and they go the person that. booked. it canceled it two minutes ago Carlos. yeah should we get him on the phone you. want me to call him and and I went ape. [ __ ] yeah you did try to burn down the. whole world yeah let's get I'll get him. on the phone here I'll get him on okay.

you get him on why did you put Carlos in. charge of something so important yeah. why would you do that actually that is. that is because he does it for the. tour and every time on the tour they're. there yeah but he screwed up this time. so I'll call him I call him. here he's in Texas with his family I. don't care his grandma died oh. [ __ ] hey Andrew what's up hey. man so we're we're on the show now and.

uh Bobby is pretty upset and uh he wants. to talk to you about something oh yeah. but did he tell you what I did for him. oh God what did you do okay I sent him. Air1 desserts oh desserts you know what. those are I sent them four in Chocolate. Moose right um there no no wheat or or. it's all what's it called gluten-free. gluten-free oh so it's all gluten-free. it's sugar- free gluten-free it's. garbage it's still out inside my door.

but it was expensive I don't care it. literally go pick up the Air1 bag that's. outside my door it's been there for 3. days I have not pulled it inside the. house what we'll get it all right it's. rotting there smell I don't know what it. is I haven't even opened it but let me. say something what you did there was out. of pocket that's there's no other other. word there's no other word there's no. other word all right and I'm going to. say that you really dropped the ball on. that one I'm sorry about and and is this. not true is this not true I called the. company and they go excuse me sir but.

you canel it 2 minutes ago and I said. the person that booked it canel the the. [ __ ] pickup two minutes ago when. she's there why did you do that because. the pickup was for 5:30 p.m. not 9:30. a.m. look can I ask you a valid question. of course did I not give her you the. flight information you did and and does. the flight information say 5:30 in the. afternoon noon or 9: in the morning this.

is 9: in the morning so why let me just. just curiosity why would one I give you. the flight information why would one. ridiculously book a 5:30 in the. afternoon thing Bob it's military time. it's a whole thing it's getting my mind. all messed up I you know but I don't. want to throw excuses your way wait a. minute you use military time military. time you've never been in the military. yeah yeah which is a valid reason why I. would mess.

up dude this mind trickery you're doing. is working it's not working for me it's. working for me I almost agreed with him. I was like right yeah do you use. military time when you book The Bad. Friends tour. stuff no they you know what I think the. website recently changed to military. time I think it's a new thing oh out of. the blue you think it just happened. while you were booking like in the. middle of your booking yeah like they. switched over like uh they were like oh. it switch over a military account for.

some reason it just was a glit it was a. glitch in the system Bobby it was a. glitch in the system okay Carlos a. memoir a glitch in the. system that's gonna be your book told. you I told you this would never happen. again so what happens what do I get if. it does happen. again. um you can put something in my. butt I've done that already dude that's. like I could do that without this all. right you can spank me no too easy you.

have to give him your dog your new dog. no no he's got to drink a Bobby Le. concoction oh. boy do you hear that it's a shot glass a. shot glass of whatever I put in there. you just got to drink it shot glass six. o 6 o no it'll kill them so the 6 o what. I got in mind will kill him okay all. right shot. class you get a shot of whatever and. then I'm going to make a video of how I. made it yeah and what it entails and we. have to drop you off at Permanente you. don't get right after yeah you have to.

go to. Kaiser I have the hook up at Cedars. though because my dad too bad so sad. kiddo you gotta go to Kaiser all right. I'll go to Kaiser all right so I'm gonna. give you another shot you're not fired. I'm gonna I'm Gonna Keep Bob I really. appreciate I'm gonna keep coming to you. to book things but you drop the ball one. time dude you will get a shot glass of. something just so otherworldly so. grotesque it'll mess up your body and. you guys have no idea you're thinking. Cal right now no oh no no no no not my.

come no I'll tell you that right now. worse. mine yeah yeah all right well then. you're not fired so you can come back. soon come back soon okay thanks guys by. by bye bye bye bye babe okay big mess up. big freak out big mess up but. everything's okay now everything's fine. so that happened but it's been you know. I'm just I would missed everyone in this. room yeah I just missed yeah I like my. life too I like my life you're saying. you like you like you're the way things. are the way you've got them you don't.

you don't need outside forces I don't. think I need anything more than what I. have that's nice you know I think I have. in fact I miss some of the things I've. had you missed me not you what what are. you your [ __ ] mind I see you every. [ __ ] day I didn't think it was me you. said miss me I miss you I miss you too. all. right.

what nothing dude dude that no dude. chill dude you need dude you need to get. another dog or something cuz that was. weird I missed. you wa dude that's so uncomfortable I I. you know what the truth be told I miss. you too I saw I I saw a guy today yeah. from the back who had long black hair. like you and I legitimately I driving I. go Bobby yeah you know what so funny. miss you so today yeah um I was with.

somebody and she was like did you see. the Tik Tok with Andrew and Nicki. Glazier about the uh the uh Taylor Swift. prank the punk right and I go you know. what I I don't even I don't even need to. see the the the the Tik Tok of it I'm. going to go to YouTube I'm G to watch. the whole video the whole thing right. and I watched the whole video and I was. laughing so hard it was such a dumb. prank and during the. prank I stopped laughing MH and I went. God I miss it oh oh see my prince how.

long were you gone Tito Bobby none of. your [ __ ] business business [ __ ]. like you you ungrateful [ __ ] [ __ ]. asking [ __ ] questions [ __ ] none of. your [ __ ] business lady what the [ __ ]. you talking about D you miss him like. you've been gone for a year it's a thing. that happens when you get older you. don't get it dud you get it right now. lady you don't get it God [ __ ]. business bit you don't miss anything do. you you miss nothing three days three. days that's a time yeah and clean my.

house today's Sunday that's not my fault. hey you better watch your mouth watch. your [ __ ] mouth man God I missed you. I missed. you how long do you how long do you take. to clean his house for real all day all. day how much would you pay. somebody to clean all day to clean my. whole house all day yeah and it's messy. like. it's everything is my house isn't messy. so it wouldn't be that how much would it. be to clean your house all day um.

there's poo stands everywhere oh that's. ridiculous why do you keep saying that. because it goes on to the internet. people think I'm a poo man you are a poo. man but it's in the toilet she saying. it's not on the wall yeah yeah it's on. the wall it's not on the wall it's. insane the wall I had to wipe I do art. like no no yeah he's the PO man. SK hey I think 80 bucks. 80 bucks for the day for the day that's.

all you should be paying her oh I just. did the math in my head 80 bucks yeah so. what I'm I and I think 10 bucks an hour8. hours 80 bucks let me see what your. cleaning hand looks like go ahead and do. it no no no no way too aggressive you're. going to scratch it no you're going to. scratch the fridge to well if you're. fragile then NE nothing is going to but. what I do Andrew is little trick she. doesn't know I'm this is not even a lie. what what do you do I do little I hide. little things to see if she cleans it. and she gets all of them and I go okay.

she's doing a good job so what I do is. I'll go to the cat litter and I'll take. tiny pieces of poo and just put them in. really weird spot that's why yeah I put. weird spots couch yeah yeah little weird. spots in R the house I go let's see if. she gets this a poop cleaner you are. blue you know what guy I have Ed I admit. it and guess what I don't need to be. embarrassed anymore because I have blue. this episode is sponsored by Blue Chu. Let's Talk About Sex you want to bring. the heat in the bedroom now you can. increase your performance and get that. extra confidence in bed listen up babyc.

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your your puberty boy puberty you're. asking him or me both of you yeah okay. well I'm going to come back okay um what. was like your first sign of like knowing. you like a girl is your boyfriend going. through a puberty right now no me oh. you're going through puberty right now I. think he got there no I'm like like I I. feel like I like girls I think you do I. think we've said this before and I think. you do I think you're I think you're.

admitting it a little bit because your. boyfriend you don't like at all I don't. know man what do you mean you want to be. real I I want to know your experience. you want to know what it is what I think. your. generation everybody's. gay you you guys you guys are like. accepting a lot of things and and. pondering which is fine I'm okay with it. but you Ponder more than we did well I. just don't I think it was just it's not. a part of culture like like it is now. when we were kids like now it's like. everyone is like am I gay look at that.

well since I did am I gay qu since I did. a buy quiz why don't we do a quiz with. her all right here we go do am I gay. test here we go let's are you ready okay. okay here we go all right zoom inom in. why are you taking this I usually. fantasize or have romantic feelings. towards people of my same gender I. sometimes find myself attracted to more. than one gender or just for fun one I. usually fantasize about have romantic. feelings. yeah yeah really okay go back two two oh. my God no you can be the answer you want. yeah yeah okay okay let's stick no go.

back go back go back go back go back. wait let her stick to it if she says all. right start now right have you ever. looked at a person your same gender and. felt sexually attracted to them yes all. my crushes are my same gender sometimes. I find myself attracted to more. sometimes go ahead how frequently do you. have sexual fantasies or dreams about. people of your same gender all of them. are about people some of the time or all. of my fantasies are about a gender other. than. mine middle in your dreams some of the. time there you are okay have you ever. kissed someone as the same gender as you. no no.

wait like my relatives whoa whoa whoa. whoa whoa this not the incest test well. it's it is kind of one and the same. there is something below it that does. say you might like a family member have. you ever kissed someone of the same. gender yes just my like Mom and yeah. just go back to no no no it's no it's no. no it's no but no that says no and I. don't want to it doesn't matter no yes. but yes I want see yes want to kiss. people okay so middle okay. if your partner offered you a yes okay.

be exciting something to try there you. go that's pretty big do you find. yourself romantically interested in. people your same gender yes so is it I. am only romantically interested in. people of my same gender or and others. and others right okay think about the. people you have formed the strongest or. most intense emotional Bonds in your. life these people tend to be the same. gender same gender same gender okay. because there's no other gender in that. when I think about having sex or being. romantically involved with someone of. another gender I feel. of another gender like eh like a boy.

uninterested un to it yeah no that. sounds she went that doesn't sound open. when I think about having sex or being. romantically involved with someone in my. same gender I feel positive and excited. or open or uninterested open to it. open when I watch porn I it includes two. people the same gender it's always the. same gender it's always two girls. okay you're gay you're gay 60% gay 39%. by wow yeah you're gay all right dude.

okay how do you. feel that doesn't sound gay to. me that sounds pretty. straight would would your mom be mad no. she's fine with it she always she's. always I don't know how to say English. she say it in non English say it say. okay oh she's always a little bit. frustrated but she'll get through it. yeah yeah that's what that. is yeah what what if the bad what if the.

bad friend's family set you up with. somebody no I don't trust no we we're. going to get the Banger what do you mean. you don't trust us to set you up with. somebody we got bangers dude no I want. to do it my own way this is your own way. yeah you're you're calling out for help. and we're going to help you yeah you. can't be drowning in the ocean and US. throw you a [ __ ] Lifesaver and then. be like I don't want it what are you. talking about no just to get one out of. the way we're here to help not a. relationship just one night go to a. hotel room see what happens what the.

[ __ ] are you talking about what do you. mean I'm just saying we're going to put. it out there that anybody wants to. that's I meant that's what I meant what. are you talking about bad friends fans. out there if you are a young lady in the. ages of 21 your age 21 what are you 21. or 22 how old are you I'm turning 22. this week that's right 22 this week Happ. happy birthday you idiot and because we. knew it was your birthday we got you a. gift George bring it in. here. happy birthday to you happy birthday.

happy birth what is that thank you. George look at that gift we got you what. is this come on don't you know that the. ding no no no no no no you don't hit it. you you make a wish you blow a wish into. it it's like it's a wish catcher there. you go very good. oh I feel like it's a by pie it is a pip. pie a pip it's a pip pie that's what. ties look like in your 21-year-old. female to 26 27 right how old would you.

go 21 to 24 okay what about what about. like a. mil no I don't think I can handle older. ladies could we they're financially. secure they can get you out of that gig. that's true but I feel like they're. aggressive not all of them what do you. mean aggressive like they just know what. they want and they exactly they will to. get it like I want it to be like chill. oh patty cake yeah is that what that is.

that patty cake baker's man yeah yeah. yeah yeah oh what's that's what what is. this chill yeah that's how you [ __ ] when. it's chill okay this is Chill do you do. you even know some of the positions that. women do I mean do you no what the [ __ ]. that's what I'm asking no I don't wait I. feel like I'm tried it I feel like this. you're saying stuff that we know nothing. about what do you mean I thought scissor. was a one no nobody does that no one. does scissors I do that with fancy. oh I inde yeah look at this Googling.

lesbian sex position how to have lesbian. sex and this would the next step it. would be the next step here we go so. what's the first. one bu a Subaru why does it say that on. the. list um I can make I think I can make up. sexual moves for lesbians yeah how about. one that you're they're B. over but they're they but are facing. each other and there's a dildo attaching. it yeah like that's that's great right. what do you think of that I like that. one and they back up into each other.

yeah they Goot I got I got a good one. okay um they're walking down the street. yeah and they're scoffing at white males. uhhuh scoffing what's a. scoff oh [ __ ] I hate scoffs I've got. scoffs all my life you've been getting. scoffed. at that's. scoffing uh oh I've done that yeah yeah. that seems. G Eric yeah that seems pretty wait wait. the what's the hand doing ring I think.

she's taking the necklace oh she's. robbing her she's robing her are a lot. of lesbians she's holding one of the. arms like I want that. necklace all right that's a pretty good. one well that's a reason to be a lesbian. you could steal from them oh yeah yeah. you could become a thief yeah that's so. [ __ ] fun well look any young woman. that's out there that's looking to date. Rudy please uh why don't you send an. email to uh Carlos in the booth. gmail.com that's Carlos andthe Booth.

gmail.com and the boys will make that. and so I want to date Rudy so submit. your. photo uh where you live who you are and. why you want to date Rudy and we'll. maybe get on a date with you you do have. a tomboy kind of a Vibe I think where. did that phrase come from tom boy tomboy. I don't know Tom tomboy tomboy I'm a. girl no tomboy I am cuz I like softball. first appeared in the 1500s meeting uh. wild romping girl who acts like a boy. 19th century America being a tomboy has.

seen as many extremely. healthy for girls who are they're not. all like tomboy aren't all lesbians like. I'm sure um Ronda Rousey was a tomboy. for sure and but yeah she likes dick. yeah I guess I don't know yeah so. there's a probably a lot like that I. watched a video of her yesterday by the. way that's so weird you say that popped. up about her just she's so [ __ ]. strong she was so [ __ ] so. strong huh were you kind of a tomboy. when you were a little. kid.

no that's why I don't know how to answer. that I was like I don't think I was like. tomboy they're all rugged right and. we're overalls I don't do that were you. a tomboy I was a tom girl you're a tom. girl okay I was a born a girl but I. looked like a tough guy yeah t no born a. guy looked like a tough girl tomboy yeah. we had a Tom we had tomboy in my. neighborhood I could [ __ ] beat. everybody at everything they beat all. the boys at everything yeah they would.

be they would literally beat all the. boys at all the [ __ ] it is kind of. fascinating to think about. now. to what what wow well your eyes went. cross you when you're thinking you your. eyes do something. cute that that's cute dude okay yeah. don't be cute right do you want me to. scoff at you dude don't scoff oh. no anyway look we'll we'll get you a. date and we'd like to know how the. progress goes okay but you do if you do.

got a date don't you got to break up. with your boyfriend what if I just ask. him I want to go on a date call him up. he's at work yeah call him up he's at. work well then PA Cheesecake Factory. tell them you need five he's at work no. I'm not I don't want to invol I don't. want to involve he's a shy guy yeah. we're not doing that he's really shy. yeah you're the one that's trying to get. her to break up with this [ __ ] guy no. I like him actually I like him a lot I. have another topic to okay go ahead yeah. okay so when you were a kid did you have. a hard time holding your.

pee question saving it no like hold like. when you laugh and you have to hold it. oh did you did you have a hard time with. that no you saying have I ever like. fifth grade fifth sixth grade peed. myself no really I've never I've never. pissed my pants NE although at the age. that I'm at which you are older I know. you do you leak sometimes a little bit. don't you uh you leak well I'll tell you. what I do you leak I leak okay here's. what I do leaky leaky can I tell you.

what I do yeah I have to spend a little. longer peeing yeah right because dance. isn't over usually Yeah couple more even. when the music ends the dance is still. going do you ever League Fancy no I want. to keep [ __ ] liar liar you never have. a couple of extra. drips no so far when you're done peeing. and you put it away you put it back in. it in the you you sheath it yes you know. you don't have a drip that drop that. comes out you you know where the drips. come out of his. tits with your pork tits D George tell.

me you have a drip or two that comes out. sometimes oh yeah absolutely absolutely. you shake and then you try to shake. again and then you put it in sometimes. and then you look down and there's a. little wet spot on the outside tell. people I just washed my hands D we got. to get Carlos back D you really do got. to get Carlos back D this is yeah so um. let me ask you this but he's being real. that is true I have a Mone hasn't. experienced you're too young yet to have. a little drip DRP I haven't dripped you. will do and you will Leak Bad trust me.

yeah I have a hard time holding it wait. do you pee you have you pissed yourself. before yeah in the fifth grade and. that'll never leave your your brain huh. yeah cuz it was in front of everyone. somebody made you laugh and you pissed. yourself yeah and I don't like peeing in. public bathroom so I had to hold it the. whole day and then when I laughed it. just everything came out and I kind of I. I lied and said that I had a magic pants. you had magic. pants and they believed it yeah idiots.

well I think they believed it this is in. the Philippines yeah yeah they'll. believe anything yeah magic pant's. expensive in the Philippines mhm uhhuh. only certain people can get them yeah I. have something that happened H and I. don't I wasn't even going to bring this. up but um please do by the way I used to. hold in my poop I didn't want to poop at. school yeah I just wait to poop at home. yeah but then sometimes you get home and. it come out rabbit rabbit turds so I I I. can't say names yeah and I don't even. know if I should even be talking about. this come on but yesterday I was doing.

so I know this guy who's a producer okay. he's a guy I've known for a very long. time mhm probably 30 years 30 years okay. okay trying to put it together and so we. were doing a business call about a. project and I go okay man I'll see you. later ugly he goes okay man all right. stay ugly I said he goes okay dude I go. don't look in any mirrors you're going. to crack them I hung up right you said. the three times Jesus Christ could have. done it once I know I know and late at.

night like 1: in the morning the dude. texts me you what you know what dude. [ __ ] you he texts me and he's like. basically he goes I've known you for 30. years dude and you [ __ ] been saying. that right for 3 years and you know what. dude I'm not ugly I swear to God he goes. I he goes I'm not ugly and dude I'm not. a [ __ ] 22-year-old [ __ ] door man. at the store where you can talk to him. like that dude Benji a FL no I'm no he's. not producer you know he goes you know. I'm you know I got a family and you know.

and people think I'm good-looking you. know so he goes [ __ ] you and I'm like I. was so I'm the side of the bed reading. this thing laughing not laughing just. going I scoffed at it you. scoffed right but then I texted him back. like you know what I'm so sorry I go. overboard I apologize just kidding I. know but then as hours went by I was. laying bed just mad that I texted him. back you shouldn't have done it you.

don't think so what was your play you. should have let it. sit oh so you call me ugly I send you a. [ __ ] text going don't call me don't. do that anymore I don't respond you. don't respond and then what happens cuz. you sit with it until we see each other. again which it could be six months. hilarious that it's sitting in your. [ __ ] brain right right it's like if. if you're that insecure you know I'm. kidding if I've known you for 20 [ __ ]. years you don't know that I'm kidding. around yeah grow up well I I'll tell you. exactly what I said so funny I don't. know why after all these years you talk. so much [ __ ] to.

me calling me ugly and all kinds of. stupid. [ __ ] I always show respect to you mhm I. am not some [ __ ] 22-year-old door. guy who enjoys being. ridiculed jesz this is a 50-year-old man. a friend of yours a friend of mine so. mine is I'm so sorry his name I was just. kidding but sometimes I just go. overboard I'll never do it again I make. fun of people I love and I love you.

sorry yeah you you're mean to me yeah so. and then he did he say anything else yes. I kind of want to know what did he say I. mean we have to all right so he goes um. all good dude I always take it as good. natured I it pissed me off some reason. today yeah he's having a I love you too. thanks for the note you just [ __ ]. having a bad day yeah yeah okay but just. but dude the response B I sat on it you. you didn't want to send it and I'm never. going to send it again I think you're.

right I I think it would have been more. fun just to [ __ ] around yeah but here's. what the broader picture question I have. for you you and I right are not normal. right correct we talk to C certain. people thinking because you know we're. around comics a lot and they can handle. all kinds of [ __ ] yeah we always say. weird but then you go to Pep Boys or any. out there right and then you act the. same and then you realize that no people. don't necessarily don't know you and. they don't really know that sense of.

humor sure and sometimes I've had other. people have to say to other people like. oh he's a comic he doesn't right he. doesn't mean that or whatever right and. it's like do you have to edit yourself. when you're out in the wild or yeah I'm. usually kind of yeah you have to be more. reserved because you're I don't know if. people are going to get it if we're. [ __ ] around sometimes I will [ __ ]. around yeah and she'll be like what are. you doing oh really yeah yeah because. I'm like I just thought would your wife. says that just kidding yeah just fck but. people don't get it and sometimes she'll. be like why would you why' you say that.

I know I know [ __ ] around do I say. something to are you do I offend you. ever the first time we met e kala had to. tell us like oh um you can't take. anything he say. seriously yeah yeah cuz the first time. in met you said so many like shocking. things that I was like kind of like like. what was give me an example of something. I would say I don't know like my face. and like my ear or like monkey something. I mean what what no I do believe that.

that sounds Prett you're faceing your. ear you're monkey what the [ __ ] are you. talking about why would I say that and. no one has said that to me but you for. the first time that I met you and then. at think said that's the first thing I. said out of my mom your face your ears. you look like a monkey yeah I bet I bet. you went look at your face look at your. ears ah you [ __ ] monkey I bet that's. what you said look you and remember Isa. cried okay his sister her sister cried. would you call her a monkey what' I call. her I forgot but I feel like you to. called her like a [ __ ] door Dash oh my.

God I love door Dash you know guys I. literally don't go out to eat I get. everything delivered at my house door. Dash I get donuts I get Italian food I. get sushi I get everything from door. Dash sometimes I get like batteries. because sometimes my um my Xbox. controller needs batteries and I just. they I go to Door Dash they bring the. batteries and I can play more more as a. dash pass member you can enjoy exclusive. offers and perks all season long on. stocking stuffers Decor groceries meals. and much much more just like Bob said.

you'll also get a $0 delivery fee and. reduce service fees on eligible orders. to if you become a dash pass member mhm. hey if you're looking to order now and. get some gifts off your uh gift list or. grocery list why don't you use door Dash. and use the code BF holiday to get 50%. off up to a $10 value when you spend $15. or more we love door Dash and they're. going to help uh you out they've been. helping us out are going to help you out. during the holidays so shop door Dash to. get everything you need for the holiday. season use code BF holiday to get uh 50%.

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three free pretty incredible it's time. to get all the daily routine Essentials. you'll need to start feeling good and. smelling like a man today people have to. know that you don't mean it but you're I. don't mean any of I love everyone not. everyone most people no no most people I. love and and if I'm gonna say that to. somebody it's out of love yeah because. you don't think I know what I look like. what do you mean. mean what do you mean what I mean what.

are you you know what I look I know I. look I know what I look like what it. look like. [ __ ] like bloating. corn bloated corn yeah you know do you. ever see like baked Mexican corn yeah I. love Mexican corn don't you love it. where they put the little stuff on it. right and sometimes they cook it way too. much and yeah yeah and one of the. colonels. yeah that's exactly I look that's me. that looks yummy though I know I'm.

delicious I get it but I look you know. what a gourd you know like a gourd yeah. you kind of have. gourd what a little bit of gourd I have. a gourd go yeah there it is go down go r. d that's kind of goury yeah I'm a gourd. see that's you and me that's that's you. and me combine combine that's our baby. dude that's our baby our gourd baby my. point is I know what I look like and and. people rip me to Parts they rip me to. shreds you don't think I go to New York. and the first thing out of comic's mouth. is just rip rip rip yeah right it's like.

I deserve it I know I look like this but. when it's not Comics people don't know. yeah maybe that's the thing but I trust. me I get it like as mean as we are to. George he deserves it but he gets it but. he's had to learn he's had to learn. there was moment yeah in the beginning. no you've had to learn no you were. sensitive before when when I first met. you at Baker oh come on oh yeah did you. were sensitive what oh George how was I. sens let's get this out in the air I.

like this I like this George you better. buck up yeah yeah how was I sensitive I. looked at my clock my watch Once uh when. you walked in and you uh you flipped out. you were like I can show up 15 minutes. late it's my shoot hey Bob this guy's. built for. podcast I can see why you work with. him he's not. sensitive that's not me being sensitive. dude I'm like I could do what I want. that's right you're being a [ __ ] and.

you're like oh 15 minutes late first of. all makeer suit just way the [ __ ] out of. nowhere remember it was in the middle of. no Century City Drive there every. day you better just because you're in a. suit doesn't mean you catch a Tong with. us [ __ ] attorney did you wear a suit. for the show to look no he always he's. been wearing that every day you've been. wearing suits now oh yeah you're a suit. guy yep it is funny to watch someone. make the transition from Regular Guy to. suit guy yeah that's a big thing that. isn't like a in the comedy world too. when Comics just become suit Comics. that's a it's a thing you want remember. Steve Burn did it Steve Burn became a.

suit guy Ryan Stout scof right in his. face remember Ryan Stout oh yeah yeah. suit guy Rick Ingram Ingram Rick there's. nothing no only no only when he opens up. for Chris Rock yeah and Chris makes him. do it but there's nothing wrong with it. I'm just saying you see it happen it's. interesting to watch your friends become. suit guys yeah there's no I you look. good I'm not bothered by it but you're a. suit guy now the only issue I have with. the suit is that the Footwear should be. kind of a popping highlight and those. shoes areu [ __ ] ridiculous take one. off and put it up to the camera so they. see what you're wearing come on come on.

baby boy show it off show those pretty. little feet also the kind of suits you. where it's like more Liberace well he's. a little bit Liberace isn't he it's a. little too like I like it when it's more. basic no you got you got to dress 49%. gay because the gays have fashion 49%. gay without being false advertising. interesting interesting never read that. before what percent do gay do we dress. Bobby's at 51 no look at that that's a. 10% gay fancy you're gonna get [ __ ]. get your ass beat buddy oh my good what.

did you say what did you say Bud you're. look good you look good is what I meant. run in his. mouth you're 10,000% gay I like that I. heard I heard to the graine did you see. killers of the flower moon no it's a. good I haven't seen it yet but I just. heard to the Grave findind that scores. he got mad CU he caught wind if they. were doing intermissions at certain. places cuz you know it's a three-h hour. movie yeah three and a half 20 yeah. apparently people were doing uh people. were doing like their own intermission.

intermission yeah and he heard about it. to the gra Vine was [ __ ] livid about. it but it is a long ass movie that's a. long. movie yeah I'd be mad because when do. they do the intermission he should be. able to choose when look at that. intermission violations Apple Paramount. Crackdown on handful of theaters. breaking the agreement I got to tell you. though yeah I need to. piss three and a half hours can I piss. let me piss you can't drink anything or. or drink or eat you're you're going to p. and by the way unless you pissed the. moment you've got to the theater three.

and a half hours you probably need to Le. because you've been eating and drinking. while you've been there so you think. it's a violation you think you got to. sit through it no I think that you know. they should call scors and have them go. when do you think the right part he says. no no they made an agreement he made. them sign a contract saying you will not. make an intermission and theaters were. like [ __ ] off they did it anyway okay I. mean SC say he wouldn't let you take a. break no. chance when's the last time I did a. movie where there was inter Mission. though I don't remember Ben her Ben her. yeah that was [ __ ] what yeah Ben her.

I think G had one yeah there's another. movie I saw I think it was Once Upon a. Time in America one of those kind of I. haven't done a break in a film and I. can't. remember eight I think had won did it I. think so not sure I don't remember go I. don't remember taking a break I don't. think it did but I feel like I don't. know I feel like I kind of get it the. theater's like people like it h people. want a break only the 70 millimeter did. 70 millimeter Road show had a break and.

the hateful late because it was longer. but see like her generation like how. like would you sit through a three and a. half hour movie yeah I can do in the. theater do your friends like that kind. of stuff but when's the last movie you. saw at three and a half. hours Avengers that's not three and is. it three and a half hours long long and. they didn't have an intermission they. didn't have one though and action movies. aren't going to have intermission but. you can go any like you're not going to. be able to miss anything no you can just. leave yeah oh Hulk is still [ __ ] [ __ ]. up oh cool yeah Paul ruds in this that's.

what you say when you come back from the. bathroom Ant-Man might be one of the. weirdest franchises I think I've ever. seen in my entire life yeah I mean like. no disc but also what is that that's. such a. strange it's such a strange thing yeah. know no intermission like ant-man's one. of those movies where I was like oh I. can get in that I'm surprised you didn't. get Ant-Man you are Ant-Man for sure. that's that is you 100% K Jong got a. little little part in The Avengers and. the anman part did he really yeah at the.

very beginning you think we'll ever be. in. Marvel. ever you could. be what man there's I don't remember. that yeah yeah he's playing that's you I. know he's playing Bobby Lee they. literally were like Bobby Lee. yeah that's offensive yeah you ever you. ever talk to Ken yeah you still do yeah. do you ever say stuff like that should. have been me no because it sounds weird.

yeah it does hey man how's the family. that should have been me in the Aventure. what man no I just saw it nothing just. should have been me should have been me. it was literally me it looked like me. you know it's so funny these kind of. movies I'm not even you know I mean I. don't even know how people get them well. I don't people because people go well I. know other actor like yeah you know I. track movies and then when they start. casting I get in the process I I so I. tried with uh um the um the Chinese uh. shangi no the um the rich Hidden Dragon.

Crazy Rich Asians so I I followed that. along yeah in the trades and I go okay. there this is the casting right and I'm. like and I called my agent I go just. tell them I'm interested but they mostly. Chinese yeah I know and they're like. they're not interested it cuz you're. Korean well that's what they said but. then they put. Canada yeah you know what I mean he's. Chinese passing though and then Shang. chi I did it and they were like really. good but we're not you're not going to. ever get that no they gave it to um.

Ronnie Ronnie Chang's great yeah I know. that's what I'm saying so you try you. read for it right yeah and you you know. and you put in the tape and they're just. like no and then you're like okay I try. yeah but that's going to happen yeah. have you gotten one of those well. they're not making a lot of Howdy Duty. movies [ __ ] am I what am I going I don't. want to talk about Show Business and my. my Frailty I I we we do that time it's. like it's I you know we're B I'm blessed. with what I have that's right I got.

stuff too man who gives a [ __ ] man you. do yeah yeah you know what and dude it's. not even for me dude you know I'll tell. you something pal you know I realized. when I've been on the streets pal. right we're like snake oil salesmen you. and I yeah yeah this show we're selling. snake no what I'm saying is we go door. to door and we go hey you know we're not. like you know we're not in the part of. this big machine they won't let us in. the big Big Box store right so we go. door too and we sell it that way and you. know what dude it's the and and it's so.

funny because these other ones that are. they get the green light from you know. the Hollywood they're trying to do what. we're doing two bears. yeah yeah yeah and it's like not two. bears but you you you understand and. it's like um no we're doing it the way. old school not just old school it's the. I think the right way to do it well the. most authentic way to do it like this is. me bu me and there and PE and a lot of.

people hate me but but a lot of people. are like I love that people don't hate. you I know people hate those guys those. guys I mean yeah this guy probably the. most yeah I will give you some props for. shaving your head I do think that's an. incredible move on your part I mean. balls and now or what are you going to. do now what's the rest of the haircut. going to be I'm going to wait for it to. I'm just going to kind of be weird for. like a few months I get to be like. Carlos like kind of undercover cuz being. Carlos being bald he's like an. undercover person with hair whenever he.

puts his hat on no one knows but you got. to shave all of it I'm going to do I'm. going to do it like keep it like this. for a while and then I'm going to Mullet. it want all I think the mullet is rat if. he gets I'm going I'm going to yeah I'm. going to do the mullet once it grows out. and levels I'm going to okay do the. sides and he still gets more girls than. me it's. great good job you should have but yeah. that's not true yeah it is. I've been watching you dude and you know. what I accept it you're the Young Gun in. the factory and I um I my hat's off to.

you dude New Blood I don't know i f i. fumble the bag though a lot I fumble the. bag though a lot I fumble all the time. yeah yeah a lot of bags fumbled my. friend did I ever tell you my Pete. Davidson story I don't want to hear it. he used to [ __ ] Pete Davidson I don't. want to hear and then I fumbled the bag. yeah yeah what happened with Pete. Davidson well no so this was like right. when I moved out to LA I was 22 I was at. a bar and this older woman started. talked she was like 30 she started. flirting with me and she was like you. give me a real Pete Davidson Vibe I. really like that really like I think.

that's really cool and I was like okay. cool and then I as we were drinking. through the night I was like we started. making out in the bar and I was like I. should lean into this Pete Davidson. thing what do I know about Pete Davidson. uh oh so we're making out and then I. whisper in her ear my dad died in. 911 and it it it it didn't go well like. as I was saying it think my hat off to. you that's so funny she didn't like so. funny dud as I was saying it I was like. there's a 50 like this is a this is a. pretty bad bomb if it bombs because.

nowhere in my mind would I think that. this would be a good move I think that's. so funny if I was that girl making out. with her I'm like my dad. died you know would have been boss on. her part if she was like which Tower. yeah yeah no she just said did he really. and I was like oh no I was just leaning. to Pete David and she's like yeah like. I'm a little older than you and I'm from. New York so like I kind of know what. that's insane I love it she was being. real I love it and you did you ask her. if she lost anybody in 911 yeah and then. she said well no but we like knew of.

people and I was like okay so can I. finger you. still how uncomfortable with that that. so awkward damn dude good move good good. Mo it's not even a Pete Davidson story. that's a you not getting [ __ ] from. being a weirdo story it's an it's the. anti- Pete Davidson story yeah yeah but. you know lean in dude but I don't know. Carlos Carlos honestly is the most. successful like with with women so like. maybe this will help a weird waybe maybe. you'll start to land a little bit more.

it is just like after it's gone I was so. nervous for like the past two days I was. like I have to just do it and after I. did it there it is kind of freeing are. you going to walk around like this every. now and again I I do get ashamed why it. looks cool see it does look Co see and. she's hip she's young she gets it well I. was even I was walking with my my. friends that cut my hair Tristan and. Chloe we were walking afterwards and. then they loved they were just like take. your hat off again when we were in. public and I just I felt like a piece of. meat a little bit you know but like now. I know what Carlos feels like like.

constantly piece of meat it brings me. back to when we were in San Diego and. we're at that bar remember that. bar yeah on the street on the street and. I right and the girl walks up to me and. she goes she didn't know who I was so I. felt like this kid over here D And she. goes I think you're cute I was like me. what and she started making out with me. and she goes I'm want to come to your. hotel room tonight so I gave her my. number cut to eight hours later I'm by. the door in my hotel staring at my phone.

it's like the the the sun's out now. right and I go I don't think she's. calling why not why do you think she. didn't you think she said that to a lot. of guys that night I think so. yeah I think so she just shooting her. shot I think I got [ __ ] oh my I. remember that I was like I'm not I'm I. was I'm so 50 years old I'm like I'm. never going to do this again why wait up. you didn't want to wait all night to. wait and stare at a phone like a [ __ ]. psychopath right and then my mom cuz my.

mom will text me at 3:00 in the morning. go I I rub you so one time I I oh [ __ ]. it's my mom [ __ ] you mean but it was. like yeah I mean yeah and I look I think. about you I had another friend that you. know that was able to just walk into a. bar and women will just make out with. them who his name was kalis I've talked. to him about him before but um and. you're like that you remind me of them. congratulations man my hat's off to you. and I hope you a movie one day. uh I don't know I don't know have you. ever hooked up in a.

bar no I'm not honestly I'm like I say. [ __ ] like that I'm not very successful. in like have you hooked up in a bar or. in a like have you in a public. place well I ate a girl's vagina on the. stairway right below mit's office that's. public pretty out public in the. stairwell yeah in that creepy little. weird stairwell it's like a haunted. house I know you were like wo. [Laughter]. yeah yeah yeah it's like I saw like.

literally people don't know the back of. MIT old office it's so creepy creepy no. lights and it's like this haunted little. like a stairwell that goes to three. different places oh it's so [ __ ]. creepy yeah so what you brought her back. there and you were like hey let's go. upstairs I I got her her pants down. right and I went to the bottom of the. stairs and I crawled over it like the. Exorcist. right and she was like. woo throwing up everywhere yeah yeah in.

fact I've had a lot of weird hookups up. there in The Comedy Store oh yeah the. belly room especially the not the belly. yeah the belly room Green Room a couple. of times belly oh yeah yeah yeah late. night wait but people can come I know. there's two doors that people come in so. there's a lot of like you know I mean. looking yeah yeah moving her head to. block it yeah I get that have you ever. hooked up in public no no good don't. ever do it don't ever do it I won't I. broke a girl's heart once there in the.

belly. room go on I don't know if I should. share it but I feel bad about it well. well I met her in a. town love meeting people in. town one of my favorite places to meet. people it was a small town and I was. opening for paully okay and she I opened. you know I used to crush you still do I. know but back then you know what I mean. just different different kind of crush. and I met her and she's like I'm going. to come out to LA she does and then I.

had a l La Hoya gig yeah right and you. back you know back in there when you. played La Hoya you you would uh stay at. stay at the condo with two or three. other Comics sometimes six other Comics. I go stay with me right she came in the. condo yeah she stayed at the condo all. weekend right right and um but she. brought her guitar she did yeah and late. at night she would go like I'm with. Comics I think it was Jeff Richards. Kelly Cen and she was just bust out her. guitar and start singing her songs were. they good no yeah they had to put seven.

heaven and son you know my little Asian. boy and they would like you know. everyone in the room their eyes would. roll and then one day she this it was a. Sunday feel so bad I should share this. did I just tell you about this. dingleberry what happen I've told you. about this dingleberry yeah yeah so I'm. having sex with her from behind mhm M I. smell poo mhm right yeah I remember this. yeah and she goes and I you know I was I.

lifted my two thumbs separated her right. bung yeah and there was a little hair. sticking out of her butthole and there. was a little piece of poo hi exactly D. if it had a [ __ ] that was dead on D. hi hi Bobby yeah I'm from a small. town right yeah and my boss plays the. guitar she's a singer songwriter she's. struggling it's so funny a piece of poo. saying I'm from a small town yeah yeah. I'm from a small town right so I and I.

in my mind I'm like what the [ __ ] and. then she says I just had a vision while. I'm behind her she goes I had a vision. that we had a house and two kids and a. white Peet fence and I said I had a. vision that we went to CVS and got. toilet paper right. now you're right and she was Mor I never. said that what did you say the second. part I didn't say she said the [ __ ]. small pick fense in my mind I said it.

yeah but you never talk to her again no. I flicked it right and then I dissed her. you just never talk yeah yeah and I felt. so bad about it well if you're out there. miss dingleberry wherever you. are we hope you're doing well in your. small town was she white they're always. white they always white from a small. town come on dude black women wipe at. their butth. holes. was she white yeah do you wipe your. butthole oh my God no what the [ __ ] are.

you talking about of course he does wash. it yes yes okay I have one of those wall. things in my shower and I just open. up very very clean in the spirit of. Thanksgiving CU this episode come out. right before Thanksgiving love I'm going. to get your house right what yeah we're. all going to be it wait say it again I'm. going to your parents house yeah you're. going to everyone's going to go to my. mom's house for Thanksgiving oh I can't. wait it's going to be well it's just me. you and uh you're not going to be there. I'm picking you guys up from the airport.

you are I'm driving from Minnesota that. morning to pick you guys up at two but. can you not go to Thanksgiving what if. you just drop us off at my mom's house. and you leave is that fine that's what I. was going we give you money to get go to. a steakhous could go rewind I just can't. I can't do Thanksgiving Steak House no. no we'll give you a couple bucks you can. go to McDonald's I'll go to weener. Circle funny what if we make him sleep. in his car outside of my mom's house. who's going to be there the crew me you. him everyone but Stacy yeah Stacy is. going to be Arty and Milwaukee so me you. juice him Carlos and Carlos if you let.

him if you let him in I don't have to. stay at your parents house right I'm. Hotel well surprise surprise don't want. to you're staying at my mom's house. these guys get a hotel we didn't get you. one oh I I've always wanted you know. what I like recording you know field. noises MH right and I want to field What. creatures do at night white people. you're your mom yeah scary creatures. like a field recording you know I mean. you. know yeah we're going to have anti it's. anti- Thanksgiving Thanksgiving we don't.

do Thanksgiving we're goingon to have. like [ __ ] I can't wait we're you're. not you you don't even see here's the. deal you don't know this version of me. what meet my mom no you don't know the. fam I'm a family man dude when it comes. no when it comes to going to people's. houses yeah and being in those kind of. environments I play a role and I play. The Family Man same thing no I wear I I. don't I'm Noto you should dress I'm. going to wear a nice shirt I want to be. thank you so much for the um turkey.

brisket thank you very nice I'm going to. use the right utensils I'm going to put. the little handkerchief in a napkin. whatever why do you have a handkerchief. I have my own handkerchief oh you do. yeah for dinners okay right put that in. right and I'm going to oh oh so at the. end of the meal um do you need help you. never do that not in your family not in. your [ __ ] family you watch when he. comes to a white house at all CH yeah. yeah I'm going to go bring I'm going to. bring the plates to the thing I'm going. to wash it off no way I swear to God you.

know what I'm going to make you do what. I'm gonna make you say a prayer before. the dinner dude I have go mom Bobby. loves to say grace you want to hear it. yeah let's hear it right now. prep um well first I would make an. announcement ladies and gentlemen and. everyone here at the dinner let's be. grateful for what we have it's. Thanksgiving um and may I do prayer oh. please may I please can we all hold. hands please so we hold hands MH dear. heavenly father Lord and Savior God. grace Heavens be MH together we are and.

together we be in the future and in the. past in the moment but most importantly. we have each other and we are grateful. for the land the sea the oxygen the land. that we stand on the earth that we work. we work on the earth we do yes and we. grind but we get pleasure out of success. and by the end of the night when the Sun. goes down we get to be with each other. once again and. to Scurry we Scurry whimsically oh yeah.

through the fields of our mind right but. we're still in our home that's right. developing all these glorious moments so. Lord thank you amen and take care good. night you're leaving I'm I leave you. don't want to eat no I do a salute no. dude dude I do a salute right and I. vanish smoke bombs I put through smoke. bombs and I'm gone dude and then you're.

gone and we're like people just get so. confused about it when you leave we're. like there's rice everywhere what the. [ __ ] happened yeah yeah yeah I liveit my. own white. rice you do a. prayer Lord Jesus. amen I close it out with you I want to. thank. you I want to thank you for the power. that you've instilled in this. Anglo-Saxon family. Mayflower material thank you for letting. us come together and bond with one of. our Asian Brethren a man of the Orient.

who brought no spice no. rug no rice but love God bless I'm. sweating by the way just watch I'm. sweating we love him even though he is. our enemy in the name we pray Jesus keep. him. safe keep him keep him short and keep. him round. amen. amen will you please do that yeah [ __ ].

yeah are you kidding me write my my I I. improvised mine will you write mine down. yeah I thought it was good yeah it was. really good please write it down cuz I'm. going to say that print it out Mone so. he he can hand it out to everybody at. the yeah yeah I need to hand it out to. everybody read it yeah yeah I thought. the stuff of like screwing was great. really good yeah yeah yeah you got. anything else. kiddo. no tell the people goodbye thank you for. being a bad. [Music].

friend. what. [Music]. [ __ ]. [Music]. yeah.