Podcast Wars! | Ep 53 | Bad Friends
hey guess what man what's up man i'm so. excited. why oh we got the new merch. click the thing look below in the merch. bar or. or go to badfriendsmerch.com or click. the thing below or click the thing below. do it you two are bad friends who are. these two idiots. why dude i'm an asian dude you two. are disgusting well you two or something. we're bad. friends can you see this on my face you. see this welt i have i got a bug bite on.
my face. it's normally that color though no but. look at how swollen this looks i. honestly can't tell the difference. that's amazing can you tell rude right. here right here. no oh well i put ice on it all day your. face is all [ __ ] up. yeah yeah 24 7. um yeah look who's. talking. what do you mean look who's talking yeah. yeah. you really got a well in your face you. can't see right here i do um uh. um. first of all what hey why what's wrong.
with you today. honestly this has been tripping me out. all day it looks weird but it's like. you look you know what you look like i. feel a villain like two-face what is. this. uh this is a gift from i think it's. sal vulcan and chrissy d sal and chrissy. christos stefano. salvocano and christa stefano no yeah. don't know him. what is it i don't know. oh it's a bag of [ __ ]. let me see what is it it's a bag of [ __ ].
it's a bag of [ __ ] why would they let me. wait is there a note there. oh there is well you have to get the. note out open it up does it smell no i. can't. been pooing on whom what. what does this say i don't know it says. it says you have been pooped on. want to know by whom. turn over turn over. no i don't know i mean well we know it.
says happy. is that valentine's day happy. anniversary that's our happy ending oh. that's our anniversary gift. that's nice from the boys thanks sal. volcano and uh yeah. hey babe their new show hey babe human. [ __ ] yeah is this human [ __ ]. yeah it's gotta be let me see okay how. about this how about this let's eat it. no not to eat it oh come on grow up i. don't to eat it well let's smell it. though. okay smell it i will open it up. god that looks so repulsive the fact. that you the usp this is why they're.
closing down because they'll send. anything. [Laughter]. no way it's poop. oh it's the bag is wet yeah yeah it's i. look at my hand look at my hands are all. pooped. what is sanitizer gonna do what does. santa cut ties are going to do oh my god. what smell it. oh my god it's so gross it's so gross. it's not [ __ ] though no.
something gross we got to send them. something yeah but we should really get. i want to send them something you got. [ __ ] oh she got all over her hands. she should we should really poop in a. bag we should really do it i'll poop in. a bag for real and send it me too. you want to [ __ ] around east coast yeah. you got oh really yeah. oh really new york yeah oh really new. york you think you can [ __ ] with us. basically just new york did it get on. your clothes no okay good. are you okay give me the hand sanity for. her slide. bad slide ready heads up coming at you. sandy one two.
coming at you yeah yeah. we're going to send them poop in a bag. for real you don't get to send us poop. in a bag. but with sal and chris has a they have a. podcast. yeah it's called hey babe but i thought. he had him in the. greek i had one no more sadly history. hyenas is gone. oh they each have independent uh. podcasts now so sal and uh. chris has one and it's called hey babe. hey babe. okay hey babe it's called hey babe and. they they just started. uh yeah it's on their fifth or sixth or. seventh let's bury them.
well that show will never catch up to. this i mean there's no way you're gonna. bury them though. we really do yeah yeah because that's. rude that's rude that they started a. podcast trying to be like us. no but it's rude that they would send us. a bag of [ __ ] they. i think they're trying to start a mini. war but they don't know who they're. [ __ ] with it's so funny because i've. had other people try to do that for me. um. you know who did it at first donnell oh. really started his right he started do. like making memes of me look how fat it. bobby is no i mean and all that stuff. and i was like i'm not gonna [ __ ]. bite. it's not gonna work done now yeah um you.
know what i've been watching dude oh my. god. have you heard of the vietnam war uh the. is it a movie no no the real thing yeah. the vietnam war. yeah to the best of my account the. vietnam war was over sugarcane. no it wasn't from 19 no let's be let's. be honest because i've been watching it. so let me see if you know. really what do you mean you've been. watching what the a documentary about. the war well ken burns is a documentary. filmmaker. everyone loves ken burns right so ken. burns right made a viet. vietnam war documentary series yeah and.
um. i've seen it twice but i'm rewatching it. it's really riveting who who narrates it. oh god. what are we here for oh absolutely. nothing. again god. oh god here we go. [Music].
whatever that's it right right all that. music is so good yeah cause that was. the best music came from from tragedy. yeah and then how come everybody spent. four years talking bad about how trump. was the worst person. and we didn't make any good music one. song came out of it. what song [ __ ] donald trump you know. that song right hey [ __ ] donald trump. you've heard that. that song but nobody made other good. music they were like it's the worst. this is the worst four years ever you're. like why then why is no good art coming. out. this should have spawned good art.
because the best art came from tough. times. yeah the 60s and 70s the race riots. civil war. i mean uh um civil war the race riots. uh uh civil unrest is what i mean that. was going on yeah you've got. you've got feminism's birth the vietnam. war. all this stuff clashing watergate. watergate all this stuff happening. now well watergate was later what what. do you mean watergate was in the 70s. yeah but vietnam war and i guess i'm. talking about.
that chunk of time like from that decade. i would say two from sixty from sixty. twenty sixties was crazy because. of all the deaths yeah right and. serial killers started to kind of emerge. in the sixties. coolest ones the legends came out shout. out to the cool serial killer. no but we had we had um what's what i. mean. so we had uh did you see that. documentary. about the cecil hotel i know yes. yes you saw it well because i talked to.
matty matheson about it you guys talked. about it we all been talking about it. yeah yeah yeah he was texting medicine. the fat idiot chelsea you had on that. show the fat guy the fast chef. he's not sure also by the way he's not. fat i know he's. uh returned right he's retiring freaky. thicky thick. yeah but he looks like the kool-aid man. yeah but anybody. anybody that wants to watch a good. documentary should watch. the vietnam war one because of the fact. that it was just bonkers man. it's nuts right but what do you mean. that's no but i'm just saying like. that's the thing that um.
how did this start let me ask you the. vietnam war yeah the vietnam war was. started. honestly a small argument in a chess. game if you were bad friends we'd love. to talk about history. we would also like to point out that we. don't read books. while convincing to some the following. information is utter nonsense disguised. as fact. that's true lyndon b johnson yes he. called. he called one of the um. one of the leaders of vietnam because. they don't they have leaders. yeah he called him what he called him.
and who was the most famous leader. of north vietnam he's a very famous uh. uh uh pad thai foe. isn't it chicken. what was his assistant mango sticky rice. sticky rice yeah i loved him yeah. uh vietnam war was a war we didn't. belong in it wasn't. but tell me why it started why the why.
it started yeah. why any war starts how land. you don't know all about land you really. don't know. it's about land it's not about land it's. about religion and land isn't it. it kind of every war is about religion. and land i know but you don't. really know you're just throwing out. like blankets here's why because the. vietnamese. the viet cong first of all wow the viet. cong yeah. was what was having a coup and uprising. against the government. right we stepped in and we we took them.
down. i'm gonna come in here via kang that's. not what happened. what really happened was in vietnam the. vietnamese war. yeah was not our war but we intervened. we intervened in the war that's right we. intervened in their war. we stepped in to help save the part of. the. issue that was going on in nepal. everybody knows the napoles the napoles. yeah were the incidiary partnership crew.
of the vietnamese war see this is what. you're doing. jewels take notes take notes she's not. even she's not even here. i know look at her she's not even. [ __ ] she has a [ __ ]. gavel right what do you judge judy all. of a sudden what the [ __ ] are you doing. oh i was listening. what were you talking about the vietnam. war no yeah right. easy guess let me ask you about the. vietnam war we're always talking about. the vietnam war. um i don't know how it started but it's. about like communist and anti-communist.
and then the north and south. very good yeah closer no i know it's. about north north versus south. but not communism. one more the other one. come on uh racism well that's always. going to be there. that's going to be there always yeah i. don't know. it's fine fascism fascism. what it was about was um were there. nazis. in other words no nonsense because i. think there was.
nazi you know how you know today people. are saying that like trump supporters. were not there there was nazis that were. trump supporters. how do you not know there weren't nazis. back then in vietnam there could have. been a couple of nazis rolling around. essentially the the war is you know the. vietnamese. trying to get from under an oppressive. government rules no colonization so the. french colonized. vietnam for 60 years yeah god bless god. bless the french. you know and um obviously the vietnamese.
when you're occupied by. a european nation you want you you want. to have independence by the way the. weakest how did france. [ __ ] you up get on the ground and i will. hear you. um weakest country in western europe go. ahead that's fine i'm just telling you. what happened it is true right so. and then a little thing called world war.
ii happened. one of the coolest wars by the way well. not as good as vietnam but pretty good. no way world war ii was way cooler. road to didn't have the music or the. culture and black people i love black. people. but because you know how they they write. stuff on their helmet right like. [ __ ] gnarly dogs. are they mexican and black i don't know. this [ __ ] nearly ate. hey bro [ __ ] gnarly that's a mexican. surfer a [ __ ] hangton. yeah yeah because they would write. messages on their helmet.
right like i would i put like a question. mark is it hot in here it's not. we're doing fine i just need i want to. look i want to teach you about the. vietnam war. oh please please please sorry so um. world war ii came along see but dude. when they were being occupied by. france yeah dudes left what do you mean. who left. just vietnamese citizens escaped the. country right they fled they fled. right they're like we're out of here one. dude that left was a young dude. his name is ho chi minh right he made a.
trail. right so that he was like the main dude. he was. he ho chi minh trail was the freedom. trail for vietnamese similar to the. underground railroad. it was in slavery it was a trail that. you could go through cambodia and. whatnot. to bring supplies to the south was it. well marked. well they would bombard it right. americans americans would fly. over it and try to destroy some of these. pathways. but the asians we have good work ethic. very good you rebuild stuff. you know man i built another bridge.
right and they just built a bridge. blow it up again i feel that not the why. is that why. are you guys are so good at rebuilding. we're good at rebuilding like. like japan was rebuilt in like 60 days. what. i think after the bombing of hiroshima. nagasaki was like 16 days later. the godzilla godzilla too when he's. yep like martha would burn down a. [ __ ] town and they were oh let's. build it. you have to build it again yeah yeah. yeah yeah is it true that the champion. gave me another uh.
name another monster from the godzilla. universe. uh the third one that's very famous. there's actually two more that are very. two more yeah um so you have mothra. godzilla what's the other one andres. what kind of [ __ ] monster is that. he's like a sensitive little spanish. oh yeah yeah i put you i put your. building down. yeah yeah oh i put your building down no. there was rodin. oh rodan you remember that yeah i do. okay so anyway. are you gonna see that godzilla versus.
king kong did you see the trailer. it could it looks pretty cool i know but. i want to see it. there was one right before it called the. king of monsters i know you see it. though yeah. terrible it wasn't terrible it just. wasn't it wasn't good. it wasn't good but visually was kind of. cool the 2014 king. uh godzilla movie was great it was. awesome why. why was it good yeah it's just a good. move i don't know great casting. world crafts actors were good brian. cranston was in it story was actually. okay right the.
story was great i'll tell you why it's. it all boils down to. not revealing godzilla you know i mean. you can't just. have them in the first shot i made them. very mysterious like yeah. the first shot of godzilla i think full. shot. was in that hawaiian scene where they. were throwing out those flares yeah. sure the camera would follow the flares. yes i remember. over uh godzilla's body and it looked. like a little. yeah like a being right and he would get. shawty. he flicked them.
and so um that's what i liked about that. one but then um. king of monsters was just just. monsters and monsters and you're. constantly seeing them there's no. mystery to them. you think you think with creatures of. great size or any kind of. you think it's cooler when we don't show. it yeah. it's sexier what was that in horror. movies it's the same. thing it's like like in hereditary right. they would have a wide shot. and you wouldn't really know exactly.
what you were looking at but you knew. that you were scared. yeah there was no like music there was. no. what would they call them scare um what. they call them jump scares. what jump scares jump scares yeah you. know how they use. music i know jump scared well he went to. film school i know he did i know and i. didn't like his tone. yeah oh he was like scared yeah he was. like he upped his mic and anyone. jump scared yeah like an [ __ ] so. cocky. so cocky right but they let you sit in. silence with a wide shot which because.
it is what your eyes are doing the whole. time you're searching to find on the. screen where the thing is. and then maybe you see the corner of the. screen what is that what is that yeah. and it's just the doll it's sitting on a. [ __ ] you know. yeah it's nothing it's just it's been. there the whole time you know i mean. yeah. it's a normal doll it's just a doll when. they when they do that. when they make you find it yeah oh. that's sexy. it's so creepy it's so good so you know. that's what i like about horror movies. as well like i just don't reveal it.
i made a movie a feature film horror. film that is coming out. next week this is real and i wanted to. show you the trailer. okay yeah and see what you guys think. all right by the way you know what this. means he's like. enough it's not for us he wants to plug. it on our show. he's gonna plug it also i'm a little mad. that we weren't in it or apart. he told you know when he told me about. it what today. he's like when did you shoot this a. couple years ago oh so he wasn't on. yeah but he could have thought about us.
yeah i know he could have at least. thought about it he knew. yeah if there's people in it i know. though i might. i'm gonna be pissed snap play the. trailer go ahead. oh you got signed by vertical seriously. yeah that's great oh that's great all. right let's play it. hey dad go get your tools i'll meet you. in the truck. i like him.
by the way that could have been me. i'm looking for directions to shook him. house he never heard them. love him that could have been me yep. what are you expecting to find here. even with a great fire people don't just. disappear something else happened. what are you doing here we shouldn't be. here.
i want him gone. why do you need private security for a. scientific expedition. aiden kanto safe from what jonathan. sadowski two people in. one second pissed off hearing something. down there. how is that jonathan sadowski. turn it up listen to this. what is that this doesn't feel right. terry did you hear that what was that.
thing. how long has it been. we do security and protection work what. is it you protect. you they took my son. and i've been fighting him ever since. listen. what is that i hear something. no matter what you do don't let him grab. you.
get me out of here. directed by who brad parker. who the [ __ ] brad parker he did a. movie called the chernobyl diaries. i thought you said you directed this no. i produced it. okay was your name on it stop stop don't. move because i'm looking at all the. names there. alejandro there he is andre thank you oh.
andreas. produced by julio halves diego halves. brothers. yeah alejandro de leon yeah andres and. andres is last. he's last last is always the most. important one. so you produce that yep can we get the. location on on that warehouse. yeah you know i mean that's making that. phone call yeah. i think yo how much can we get it for. well how about uh 800 a day how about. 750 750. you got a deal you got a deal and then.
all of a sudden can i get my name on the. [ __ ] poster fine. yeah that's andre that's what he did. yeah. i'm going for a coffee run does anybody. wonder all right yeah i'll take a matcha. latte. can i say this it looked good and that's. pretty good but also did i call it out. look at i called it out jonathanowski. who i know very well. yeah aidan canto was in the first sitcom. i ever did. wow little rude little rude little rude. legend legend it looks really good. though it actually looks really really. good yeah how can people see this andres.
on march 5th is coming out itunes and. everything. let him plug it up itunes march 5th you. guys go watch the devil below. yeah that looks great tracy that looks. great dude honestly brother. congratulations march 5th everyone go. watch that march 5th uh. uh from your home for the comforter did. you get funding for that or how does. that how. how are you a producer on this creative. i developed the script for a. couple years and then i partnered with a. producer who had a film fun attached so. we found it like that way.
it was uh those guys those those the the. funded fro. is from uh uh mexico right. mexico are they the are they the are. they guys that are connected to jose. cuervo. no because there's two guys that are. connected to that family that are big. funders in hollywood they have a lot of. money what's their money from the. harvest brothers they. they don't have any money meaning like. they they grind it out and and fun. financiers in in l.a and then i made. another movie with them. uh that is coming out probably later. this year um.
but yeah this is something that people. aren't really aware of in the real world. something that i'm privy to you are. andres knows more than all of us. the fans need to know this though that. like there's a world of indie market. movies that are really good movies like. this. very well done well produced well. written good actors. but they get shuffled around because it. takes so long to get money for them. because the funding comes and goes. right right it's hard to find people. that are willing to finance and keep. their money in there. they need to have interests that are. have pre-sell pre-sales right so like. these guys. the house brothers know aiden kanto is.
an international sensation in the. spanish market. yeah they can already pre-sell it in. spanish market right that's why they do. that. then they get uh what's the girl's name. uh alicia sands. same thing right so these guys know oh. if we can bait the spanish market with. this. then we can kind of fill it in as well. with other names and that'll attract. other people and. then they'll grow in market markets. right but what what people don't know. about this now being genuine that's so. impressive is. these are so [ __ ] hard to get done. it's this is impos this is impossible on. paper it's impossible.
so i'm so congrats andres congrats. andres thank you guys. because i'm attached to a movie um that. they're trying to get off the ground. with um some credible people you know i. mean. involved and they're having a difficult. time financially it's so hard. yeah and there's like huge producers. and huge actors involved in it and. they're like. we're just finding financing okay i've. i've told this story before but i'll do. it fast. i had a movie that we wrote that. channing tatum was producing.
okay that you and channing wrote no me. and about me and my my writing partner. nick you know nick you know nikki yeah. nikki nikki who christ you know nikki. oh the one just kidding i want to. audition for his movie 100. didn't get it um it did that you did get. it but they went with somebody else. you got it but they went with someone. else no he go stephen yoon. he calls me and he says just let me just. say about nick okay okay cause i have to. get this out. to say it he listens he's listening i. love him so much. nick i met nick he was producing a.
reality show or something a game show. probably yeah maybe. years ago years ago on mtv or something. yeah. i met him that way he's one of those. kind of guys once you see him. you just fake mouth kiss yeah you want. it you want we do we do we just do fake. mouth kisses he's like a funny guy. he is very funny he's just one of the. funniest guys yes you can tell that he's. hip. he's very cool he calls me up and he. goes hey i want you in my movie. like [ __ ] yeah finally you got to. audition. yeah but that wasn't his terms.
it wasn't in terms of fun nick and i. wrote this thing we had it with channing. james company and it was cast already. alexander d'addario was going to be the. girl oh my god who's [ __ ] massive. yeah right yeah little rel. little real howie wow rel was going to. be the other guy yeah yeah okay yeah. already those people alone yeah right. we had all of those elements channing. tatum's company huge already had a deal. with sony. those two actors uh we had got signed on. ourself. took dario to [ __ ] chateau and. outside just. was like please do this [ __ ] movie. like we'll do anything you're perfect. for and she was like i actually loved it.
sunk both of these people we got. financing i'm like. we're about to make this is going to be. incredible this is the the hardest year. i've ever spent doing this. and the other two years writing it and. perfecting it and and then we get a call. one day they're like. i don't think chan's going to be able to. do it i just don't think we're going to. be able to do it the fight that we had. some finance drop out it's just we can't. finish it it's just not going to happen. and i was like right. this is what happens all the time. all the time yeah all the names all the. numbers all the pieces right. right right right right and then one.
little shoe drops and it's like. no it's over yeah i think that you you. might be able to do it now though i. think the market. because of streaming and whatnot i think. right now i think you should you and. nick should revisit it. maybe we'll try i'm going to do a movie. in uh after davey i'm do i just i'm. going to do a movie with lauren morris. congratulations thanks man you're really. well it's not done yet but yeah we're. trying. yeah good so you who's working. we're literally trying to make it i know. but you're who's working. i'm working better hey andrew yes boo.
um better help has really helped me. during the pandemic and without therapy. i think. i might have uh gone a really different. direction in a bad place me too i have. used it a lot because i genuinely enjoy. it and i've said this before. i like it so much more than the old. school way which is going somewhere. because i don't like going to a doctor's. office i don't like going in a business. park room. fluorescent light i don't like it this. is great i can do it for my own home. can i ask you a question yeah please. there's something interfering with your. happiness or preventing you from. achieving your goals. sometimes yeah well better help will.
assess your needs. and reach and match you with your own. licensed professional therapist that's. right it's not a crisis line it's not a. self-help line it's professional. counseling done securely online and. truth be told me and bob as funny as we. can be. this is real for us we do use it because. i do believe in it. it is really good man to to get help and. talk to someone about whatever your. issue is doesn't matter. a broad range of types of therapists. they'll match you with the right person. you can start communicating in under 48. hours that's really good man and look uh. over a million people. have taken charge of mental health with. the help of an experienced professional.
you can uh. check out the the reviews at uh. betterhelp.comreviews. and uh bob and i both are big on. terapeak. no matter how big or small your issue is. uh you should try it out. um this podcast is sponsored by better. help and bad friends listeners get 10. off their first month at betterhelp.com. bad friends. again 10 off their first month at. betterhelp.com. bad friends doordash oh god andrew. without doordash i would have starved. starve to death in hawaii especially. because in hawaii.
the restaurant at the hotel that i was. at was was not good. so it's like i use doordash three times. a day. and they're so much quicker than the. other ones so well it's so much better i. think the app layout is a lot nicer yeah. if you don't know what doordash is come. on man. um it is uh connecting you with the best. restaurants that you love right now and. right to your front door and it's all. safe and compliant and it's just not. dinner though if you can get deodorant. yeah you can get anything anything yeah. doordash has all sorts of stuff. but nail clippers food now you can get. snacks and drinks household essentials.
and 30 minutes. uh with doordash uh they have all sorts. of fun stuff. and uh it's really easy to use i mean. open the app say what you want i want. this and it gives it to you how many. partners do they have bob. i i i can i can only assume it has. thousands. 300 000 partners in u.s puerto rico. canada australia you can support your. neighborhood. go-to's yeah choose from your favorite. restaurants like popeyes. chipotle which you like and your very. favorite cheese cheesecake. factory he likes cheesecake factory. uh for a limited time our listeners can.
get 25 off and zero delivery fees in. their first order of 15. or more when you download the doordash. app and enter the code bad friends 20. 21. that's 25 off up to a 10 value and zero. delivery fees that's awesome because. they all charge now. on your first order when you download. the doordash app in the app store and. enter the code bad friends. don't forget that's code bad friends. 2021 for 25 of your first order with. doordash. subject to change terms apply. back to the vietnam war though time out. yeah and there's no vietnam. is on where is it is on netflix the the.
documentary i. bought it on itunes it'd be cool if. david attenborough did it i didn't get. it at a hulu. but anyway let's go back to vietnam the. vietnamese storm their way. through the jungle so met with great. opposition. from the americas helping them out. wielding their weapons at bay so um. ho chi minh oh right ho chi minh had a. trail. how did he how did he note the trail. what do you mean how did the people know.
that that was the path did he. mark it like bread crumbs for hansel and. gretel did he leave little fortune. cookies along the way. no he's just you know like the 101. you know where the wanna win is well. because it's a [ __ ] freeway with. signs yeah and. it's not as if it's like there's dirt. roads. but wait a minute how how do people know. what ho chi minh trail is supposed to. what you ca. besides ho chi it one says ho chi minh. city the other one says sunset boulevard. you know i mean. it's the street side so he yeah he. hammered in yeah yeah i get it and it.
has a little arrow like. you know hanoi 92 thousand miles this. way this way yeah yeah. there's like little signs so ho chi. minh's trail got people to cambodia. to escape persecution no no. i'm just trying to learn you're not. you're not listening though. say the russians and um the chinese. was funding north vietnam because of. communism yes. right so by the way it was ussr shout. out. hammer and shirt they would bring um.
supplies and whatnot down the horchman. trail. and whatnot but what's fascinating about. you know i mean. like am i boring no no i love this i. just think it's funny to hear like. people at home listening to complete. morons talking about history no i'm tr. see here's the thing and i i detest what. you just said. you should okay is people think that i'm. a [ __ ]. right which i am you are i'm obviously a. [ __ ] yeah. yeah yeah but you know i still can watch. stuff and absorb information that's why. i want you to feed me. and that's what i'm doing continue right.
but then you're shaming me because i'm a. [ __ ] idiot no no we're idiots this is. just a two-way. this is ac dc this is alternating. currents of idiocy. by the way probably you know first of. all this information that i'm telling. you right now. i'm sorry i've been mumbling to myself. right. for eight hours because i want to talk. about it all right let's keep going no. so i'm literally. going okay no that's not what happened. but let's let's keep going oh you. already [ __ ] up my order. yeah i did it so let me just get back. and get back baby. it looks like alfred hitchcock is.
kissing your titty by the way on that. shirt. it looks like he's kissing your tit. you're right tit. that's all for hitchcock i'm kidding. no a piece of you didn't know no it's. this orson welles theater here. that's hitchcock that's hitchcock symbol. i know. didn't know yeah you said it didn't know. i didn't know you didn't know i didn't. know did you think it was orson welles. yeah. that's so sad i know because this is. cinema okay teach me more about vietnam. oh god i wish you didn't do that you did.
that with that scorpion's t-shirt. and now you did it with the orson welles. by the way. what's this what's the kid's name the um. spaniard guy. what is his name fancy b fancy. when you saw that shirt what did you. think when you saw his hitchcock shirt. what did you think. i thought bobby was really cool with uh. alfred hitch. on it see impressive he likes you. i know as much as you don't like him he. likes you what are you talking about. you do yeah deeply because he's a sweet.
guy. i love him okay i need to get back to. learning are you paying attention. really yeah what have you learned so far. about the vietnam war yeah. coaching me ho chi minh trail oh get. real. that's not what does that even mean. you're just repeating a thing that. exists you're not here. i am i'm doing something so like what. are you doing what are you doing. picking on my nails yeah you know what. she said earlier too like. i go get in the car and come over she. goes i have to do my eyebrows. i go what i have to do my eyebrow and i.
go. do it she's preparing for her future. [ __ ] yeah i mean you're not being. lighter you could be a threader girl. right. and she's in the mirror going i need to. put eyebrow on my face. wait what is it do you paint your eyes i. have no eyebrows she says yeah. yeah that's so mean and amazing that's. so mean. but elsa earlier today um but they look. nice they look great. they look pretty yeah yeah yeah they. look great so on but today's a sad day. for her too. why why because you know we we've been. um fostering homeless dogs.
yeah i know i see it on the internet. right so the teeth the picture of the. dog's teeth that you posted. yeah you what did you write cute cute. teeth or something yeah it looks like a. meth head's teeth i know. exactly what i want to tell her so when. i was telling her i go because i didn't. we we fostered so many animals these. ones. i feel bad but i didn't really want to. get to know. well because no that's not because you. didn't want to lose them. well you don't want to get a puppy four. months ago all right. i fell in love with that guy yeah got.
rid of him. right um made a little sandwich out of. him and it was delicious. [Laughter]. yeah um little ten door line and then um. then we had a uh. what's the a german shepherd cora i love. german shepherds so we had a beautiful. german. he came in here right no and here was. the uh oh no yeah. yeah it was that was the shepherd yeah. yeah so the german shepherd yeah right. and luckily the german shepherds at um. kalila's mother's. house they she they took him in oh. that's awesome so we get to see.
her and then they said um so i'm. flying in from hawaii and as i land. at the airport this is [ __ ] by the. way. you get a text um we have two new dogs. anyway um. you were in the plane so i couldn't you. know confirm it with you so we have them. so [ __ ] right i could have sent it. before i left hawaii exactly. and number two they go it's homeless. dogs as soon as she said homeless dogs. that was out that was out and i was. telling her.
they're between residents as dogs yeah. and i was telling her though i go you. know. if you wanted a roommate right would you. want you know. someone like us you know i mean someone. part of society or would you want a. homeless person. right honestly yeah homeless guy why. because he's going to appreciate it more. yeah but he's not going to be able to. pay rent. right that's the problem well you can. put him to work right you could put him. to work. no yeah i i kind of lived with a. homeless person. um in the late 90s we were all homeless.
when we started comedy no but a. legitimate one. yeah a legitimate one his name was dave. we call him hippie dave i like hippie. dave. yeah and hippie dave stayed in our house. in silver lake but he. used to do math and he used to clean our. house with a toothpick. uh toothbrush and how clean was it great. so i'm i'm just saying so if you. put meth in there drugs yeah yeah yeah. gotta have some drugs in there to clean. up by the way we're not homeless. shaming we're not shaming if you're not. if you don't have a home. uh you are just as valued and bobby.
obviously would rather have someone who. came from a home before. i feel like myself yeah i feel bad. because my um. theory on the two dogs is probably wrong. right julian and i'm so sorry that i. didn't um. get to know those dogs you know um i. just couldn't emotionally do it anymore. because i get. emotionally attached to these animals. see. and it really breaks me see today stop. picking your nails god. damn it no i'm listening yeah so.
she's had a hard day a hard day because. she's the sole provider of these dogs. you're having a tough day because uh the. dogs are gone. that makes me sad. that's not why no why huh. what the [ __ ] is wrong with you man are. you on drugs no i'm listening i need to. focus on something so that i can be more. focused on you. oh really by picking your nails yeah. yeah yeah. so how do you feel about the dogs um.
i feel sad but yeah but when i saw the. guy. he looked like he could like he was. trustworthy yeah yeah. well he was a new york comic oh who was. it yeah he's friends with this stefano. the one that gave us. the [ __ ] earlier wait he really yeah and. and he took which dog. oh really but you said earlier you liked. his voice. yeah yeah what'd he sound like hey. forget about it man oh yeah there was a. forget about it pizzeria i got i got it. i got it. you guys take off you guys take off. you're the best you honestly you're the.
best at impressions. you know what dude that's new york. that's new york i love do new york. hey forget about it man hey forget about. it yeah yeah uh say in a new york accent. where's the closest pizza spot hey. where's the closest. pizza spot perfect yeah how do i get to. the l train. how do i get to the l train. [Laughter]. forget about it you got to say that. forget. yeah about it forget about it forget.
about it forget about it. i can't do voices it's a run-on it's so. funny because they would. uh when i was on mad tv they would go. can you play an irish guy i go now. let's hear your irish accent do you want. i'll try to mimic it well ireland. ireland kind of sounds. oh that was close pretty good like conor. mcgregor. all you have to do is speak fast and up. go to my conor mcgregor. oh it's kind of like oh it's conor. mcgregor conor mcgregor old areas that's. conor mcgregor oh there he is oh he's. quite quite a fighter oh there he is up.
at the end conor mcgregor okay. quite a fighter that he is on a mcgregor. that's so good yeah yeah say quite a. fighter. rider quite a fighter. quite a fighter quite a fighter quite a. fighter. at some point now you're going back to. asia and you're like why the fight why. the fight you do it no yeah yeah. i'm so bad you did a great job i tried. it so try it say it. mcgregor say it's oh it's conor mcgregor.
no it's so hard. it's not no you have to do it. you have to do it can i say mary anne. oh look it's marianne yeah yeah go oh. oh look at the corner to marianne oh um. it's so hard to try. oh look it's mariana no i'm just gonna. say the name okay cool. come on marion. that's pretty good.
oh look it's marianne oh it's conor. mcgregor say that real fast. oh it's conor mcgregor oh it's going to. mcgregor. perfect perfect that's good give me. another accent. uh can you do uh let's can you do can. you do canada. do it short to do it well i'm from. canada up here we have big movies. i'm from canada hey it's always asian. with you. i i i i i you can you can represent that. because of the fact i think you're just. looking at my face. well let me close my eyes and do it.
ready and so so repeat after me go uh. up here in canada we we uh up here in. canada we drink molson. we dig molson yeah no now you're irish. and asian. do fancies do spanish you i'll have to. repeat it i'm good at mimicking well. let him speak and then he mimicks what. he says oh hey guys how are you doing. hey guys how are you doing no give. himself real phrase give him something. that he can hold on to. i love andrew so much his comment is. much better. i i like andrew so much his comedy is. much better than mine.
see that's good that's close that's. really good. no i'm serious that's a little closer to. mexican than spanish yeah yeah. but it's good i like andrew's comedy. it's much better better than mine. perfect yeah thank you that's perfect. yeah you do it. i like andrews no andre says yeah. because the fancy has a sometimes they. do the ethos how does they do that. okay time out i want to go back because.
i still need to learn about vietnam. we stopped at ho chi minh. yeah you had no chance no matter how. many people we [ __ ] threw in there. soldiers right first of all the kids. that we sent there were. 17 18. no they were the young obviously. but um they were always um. low-income kids usually minorities you. know i mean. poor white people poor italians you know.
just poor people poor. people poor people yeah and then um they. were um my uncle. really yeah he was a numb did he die. he's alive. not only is he alive uh the only thing. uh he took back from nam was a severe. heroin addiction so it turned out pretty. good. yeah no serious that's real and he. smoked unfiltered paul malls you know. what that is. yeah unfiltered he was smoking insane. it's just smoke and you're. just yeah you're just you're smoking. cancer yeah you're smoking cancer cancer. yep. so um but what was i mean imagine being.
you know you're 18 19 years old and. you're uh. i mean imagine what we were doing in. 1898 we were like should i go. what am i going to do go to college. what's going on with my life i was i was. getting drunk and yeah. but imagine like picking up organs of. your friend. right and putting it in body bags while. like the viet cong is. just shooting at you yeah i mean it's. just insane and you're in the middle of. a by the way. you're in the middle of a beautiful. place right like it is beautiful so. the juxtaposition of life well that's.
not where they stayed during vietnam. they didn't have one they didn't have. the forces i'd say they had the one. season. they had one season yeah but they stay. in the middle of this beautiful jungle i. thought about that when i saw forrest. gump that i was like how crazy. that this is like paradise and these. kids from all over the country in the us. go to paradise for the first time but. bullets all day long. yeah and they were and they were also. sent into battles that were unwinnable. well they were we want you to take that. hill yeah but they you know they're. they're up there do it what do you mean.
just get up there and. do it we need that hill and then once. they would take the hill and they would. lose 80 of their friends. right the military would be like okay we. got it let's let go. they're like we're not going to do that. at least put a sign up no we got it yeah. it's nothing what about agent orange. wasn't that from vietnam. loved it because that's great cologne. no agent yeah they would burn your skin. and they would just a canopy drop it all. over the. all over the uh it would just destroy. foil edge. and that's what gives people lung cancer. and then.
after that after vietnam yeah people. would come back. and then they would hang out of vfws and. they would get legionnaires disease. what is that legionnaires disease google. george. legionnaire's disease is genuinely. legion from like legions america like. vfws they would they would get this. infection in their lungs from the air. conditioning units not being cleaned oh. my lord. legionnaires disease right. symptoms and causes well.
meat lesions is inhaling the bacteria. from water or soil bacterium legionella. it had nothing to do with the legion. it's the bacteria name. i i was i was born with harlequin. ichiosis. no you weren't because i've seen it. we've shown it on the show and you. weren't damn it. no you were not hey you remember the bit. you remember the bit that we did last. week about the confederate robert e lee. yeah. i think we want to do it who's we we're. going to make it. fancy bee wants to make it maybe a.
sketch or a real. series i was thinking a short first and. second we do like a short. short first well so it doesn't fail he's. a good director though he directed um. a youtube video of mine do you still. have that video. yes what's it called the emperor of the. world. emperor of the world and it's basically. what i would do if i was like the. emperor of the world. you know what i mean bobby lee was the. emperor of the world i killed mine and i. walked into a liquor store.
witness greatness behold. the emperor of the world. how when was this this is right after. mad maybe three or four years after matt.
tv. and fancy directed it so i was like i. didn't know what to do so i would call. around. and go what do i do yeah and um. my friend lisa lisa bonet no lisa nova. lisa donovan right she started a company. called maker. she was a youtuber yes lisa nova lisa. nova and she said um. come to my company and we'll just do. sketches so i would show up at this. you know i remember and that's how i'm. at george it was in culver city. right in culver city i remember it yeah. you remember the warehouse district yeah.
and i used to do that talk show there. as well yeah and i remember um i met him. i don't remember but pd yeah well george. goes i have a friend. who's gonna direct it so i showed up and. i vaguely remember him and i. shot the sketch and then we only did one. so do you entrust him to make a sketch. with us now. i think that he has the skills well. let's be more sure than think. if we're gonna trust this guy to do. something for us i think he can do it he. went to film school right. yes which one though columbia university.
that's good that's actually good that's. a good one right no that's good. yeah usc would be better by far yeah and. he's gonna try to argue. well now the program is actually. butcher box oh my god egg jewels. yeah we get a lot of butcher bugs don't. we. yeah and we eat that delicious meats do. we not. yeah high quality cuts baby oh guess. what i just took out of the freezer. tonight for tomorrow. steaks i'm having some steaks uh and.
also they come with uh now. now the two new york strip sticks and. one pack of bacon for free. which is huge if you sign up right now. that's what you get it's awesome and. in terms of meats i look for two things. right yeah high quality. and also i like um humanely sourced meat. yeah luckily today's sponsor butcher box. believes in that they believe in. everyone deserving high quality and. humanely sourced meat and that's what. you get. to your front door it is so good. uh and also this is meat that has no. antibiotics or hormones ever.
it's nine to 11 pounds of meat it's. enough for 20 for human beings or in. bobby's household. six to seven six or seven rude but true. you like meat. i love it you're a big meat guy it's. also meat shipped right to your door. no you don't got to go to the grocery. store 100 grass-fed uh finished beef. free-range organic chicken heritage pork. wild-caught alaskan salmon and sugar and. nitrate-free. bacon the good stuff yeah it's the way. meat should be. for a limited time butcher boxes. offering new members two new york strips. oh my god and one pack of bacon so good. for free in your first box. go to butcherbox.com bad friends that's.
butcherbox.com. bad friends to get two new york strip. sticks one pack of bacon for free in. your first box. beast post bespoke post what. what a great you know what i i it's like. you open up a box and you get all kinds. of goodies yeah they call it the box of. awesome for a reason there's all sorts. of cool stuff in there. bobby got a blind blanket that i use on. my couch and it's so comfortable. ugly i got a bag i got a whiskey set. there's all sorts of cool stuff that. comes in this. uh because all you have to do is get on. the internet yeah go to box of.
awesome.com and then you. take this little uh survey yeah and it. tells you what. some cool stuff that they could uh it's. good for example when you can give it to. your loved one that's exactly true yeah. that's exactly true go to box of awesome. dot com and. and uh take the quiz they'll tell you. some cool stuff from like uh. you know hair and style and grooming. goods to bar wear that's what i got was. whiskey cass. whiskey glasses cooking tools outdoor. gear um. rudy got some connives yeah rudy got. some knives from them. and they release new boxes every month. across a ton of different categories.
you can also like you skip a month or. you can cancel at any time but you're. not gonna because you're gonna love it. no it's great and the bot it only costs. 45 dollars. it has over 70 worth of stuff inside. which i think. is pretty good i'm not a math man but. that's 20 on off your first monthly box. when you sign up at. box of dot com and enter the code back. friends. at checkout that's box of awesome.com. code bad. friends for 20 off your first box is. there a time period that you can teach. me about. of course like a war yeah well a war.
maybe not a war okay well how about this. you want to stick in the asian. asian stuff yeah yeah the great wall of. china how much do you know about the. great wall of china nothing. you know nothing about it i know it's. there why was it erected. what why was it erected well obviously. just making an assumption to separate. two. bodies of lands correct okay but what. bodies of land. um north and south i don't know east and. west east. okay east and what i was close don't. don't don't be diminished i was closed.
it could have been either one right. there's only four ways to go yeah. so i made a guess right and i said east. and west so you said north and south so. that's what i meant it was east and west. why why do they want two sides divided. um maybe there was two different. kingdoms. not called kingdoms they're called. embassies. chinese come on china okay they're. called um dynasties dynasties that's. right am i right that's exactly. okay separate so so there's two.
different dynasties. probably ming ming and. ping wing ming and pink ming and wing. ping pong. it's where yin and yang yeah yeah ming. is white and. uh all right so there's two deserts ming. dynasty and there's another dynasty it's. wing. wing dynasty and so they separated which. was a joke they just said look at the. east wing dynasty get it because it was. on the east side so ming and wing what. happened was. these two emperors were fighting right. if you're making this up right now. it's not because i really want to learn.
i am giving it to you i know but i feel. like you're making it up though. i'm not there's no [ __ ] wing nothing. what do you mean ming and. the wing dynasty the ming i've heard of. i've never heard a wing you've never. heard the wing dinosaur no. fellas am i lying or what ming and wing. dynasty okay. what happened was all right the these. two emperors hated each other. this is the creepiest part their sisters. were in love oh yeah they were like wait. so. the ming what the emperor bong ming. is this pong b no no that's the sister.
bong oh so the sister was bong. bong ming yeah liked the wing sister one. of the wing sisters and i don't. remember because there was triplets. there was three wing sisters but bong. ming i do remember her bong ming loved. one of the wings. triplets they caught them. making love scissoring scissoring well i. don't know what it called in chinese but. they had chopsticks they were chopsticks. and anyway that was crazy.
you say something like that they were. sticking that was insane. and one of the win in one of the wings. all right so making love. these two emperors let me just stop it. for a second got it so. let me just get this straight okay all. right that's right so. the wing yeah the wingding sisters. the emperor had three sisters had three. sisters triplets they had they were. triplets correct okay. and the ming dynasty had one one girl. right was scissoring one of these girls.
she was stopped. and the chopsticks i've just my bad she. was chopping chopsticking one of these. sisters the middle child i think. you don't know for sure i'm not positive. because they look the same it could have. been either one. they were triplets yeah exactly they. didn't look the same they were like. anyway. no it was triple so it could have been. anybody true true. right right so anyway they were hooking. up these two emperors caught wind of it. and he said i refuse my sister to go to. your palace anymore. and he says i don't want your sister to. come to my palace anymore yeah cause. bong is trash.
wow bong is trash that he said that. you know what is that a couple thousand. years ago no no let me ask you this. though yeah. would they obviously they didn't get. together at like. you know i mean and applebee is to talk. right there oh you mean how do they. communicate through pigeons or something. well they would open up a letter there. are no pigeons in china instead there. are. ferrets ferrets what are they doves. doves what what what bird chinese geese.
a chinese goose i didn't know come on. so they would send chinese geese to the. air with notes on them to get to each. of each palace yeah anyways this seems. like a long time. for a chinese goose yeah to fly over. it's like it's it seems like they fly. 80 miles an hour no they don't i've seen. these and they're pretty. that would probably take eight years. have you seen a chinese goose. then you don't know what you're talking. about okay i'm sorry it's a 55-foot. wingspan they're huge it's the size of. an airplane basically. okay small airplane so they send it back.
and forth their note and back force i. don't want my sister over here sounded. shooter nets come over here. piece of [ __ ] i don't want her over here. how about that [ __ ] and he goes oh you. know what. now you know what now i'm gonna send my. [ __ ] triplets over. so he says try hey try to get over to my. land and see what happens. so donald trump remember how he said. build the wall that's where that came. from. okay okay bong ming's brother was the. first one that eventually built the wall. it's really hard to believe what that. they would erect. that wall that thing took a hundred. years to [ __ ] put out because.
initially it just was to block the two. dynasties east and west but at some. point. he got a little cocky and was like i. don't know how long china is. it's huge right but he said i want some. people to see long distances. they'll build well this is unbeknownst. knowledge to a lot of people yeah the. first chunk of the wall the first mile. and a half was popsicle sticks. it was made of popsicle sticks and. elmer's glue i'm dead serious they. re-erected it later with stone. yeah yeah no you don't know anything. about it. no i don't know i know you can see it.
from space. i don't know one thing i don't know. anything about it i know people take. pictures on it and it's wasted i know i. know. i've seen steve oh walk on it yeah oh. dude dude what's up hey i'm just gonna. skate down the wall. yeah yeah but um so that was just five. ten minutes of just [ __ ] now some of. it's true none of it is i think ming. i think bong ming is real meat there is. no bang bang look up bong ming please. and tell me that that's not part of the. ming dynasty bong ming. bong ming there there he is bong ming.
go to his instagram there. oh you're right. there he is celebrating when they built. the wall okay with some buds. congrats you don't know anything about. american history. yeah what do you want to know because. i'm gonna i'm i'm gonna look. honestly because i want to learn if so. the next. it's because i know that ken byrne has a. civil uh a civil war.
civil war one is amazing i want to watch. that one all right because i do know. about that and then. he has one about just america like the. american west. i'm going to watch it i can teach you. about that tell me about the 49ers do. you know who the 49ers are why are the. football team. why are they killed the 49ers because. they were well 49ers. aren't they aren't they miners the. actual miners that's correct. right and they mined for gold that's. correct is that why the helmets are gold. well they're red and gold but yes gold. is part of their color because of that. is that i'm not i'm i'm being i'm being.
real so these 49ers they. probably northern california well they. would mine gold in northern california. santa maria san janez valley yes. the sununu valley yes right and then. so what do you need to teach me about. them well first of all why. why why was the gold rush in northern. california not in southern california. because in southern california there is. no gold why would there be gold up there. and not down here. it has something to do with mountains i. don't know. what why you wouldn't do that we don't.
have mountains in southern california. but there was never a gold rush. in uh texas or. one in texas of course there was oh but. in southern i don't know and texas is. flat so tell me why. because you said it's mountains well it. has to do with the rivers right that's. right. and it has to do with fresh water. sources that rivers right and. coming from the mountaintops correct. right. and um it gathers all the deliciousness. and stalactites yeah yeah it. gathers all these minerals to come down. and then you would take a pan.
right and wade through the water. panning for gold you pan for gold it's. kind of like the pasta strainer that you. have at home. yeah okay that's actually where that. came from yeah so what you're telling me. that is that there was a. gold rush in san diego there was a gold. rush in san diego. where they didn't make a lot of money. everywhere. well why didn't you think of a [ __ ]. river in san diego okay first of all you. know how it's called carlsbad do you. know why. why because one the gentleman that. discovered carl's bad his name is.
carl yeah okay yeah that was his bad. lands the badlands. that's where that comes from uh carl's. badlands and so. he bought that place not just on the. gold he found down there. yep i'm telling you all this is fast. okay you could look it up so that's. about the american west. the great american you know the real. reason we went west wasn't to find land. what was that it wasn't a fine land what. is it. [Laughter].
it wasn't to find land tell me what it. is man it was to get away from all those. guinea whops in new york. [Laughter]. you don't know anything i don't know. much yeah yeah but i know. i love you but do you watch that. you watch documentaries. i love documentaries yeah which ones do. you like what did i just see a doc well. i watched the cecil. before that i watched um the social. network before that.
i see the identical strangers oh i loved. that. did you really i did i love that yeah. the replacement of the of. yeah yeah what do you mean the guys that. the two the guy that the. the the guy the brothers. but what happened they don't know their. brothers. that's it that's the one yeah. i haven't been watching a lot of docs. lately you've never seen in that one. salt fat acid did you see identical to. strangers i did what's it about i don't.
know okay it's about. no but i do but i don't remember yeah. i'm gonna tell you what it's about. yeah it's about um i don't remember. really either but. i'm gonna try to try to bring up the. image and then i'll be able to tell you. i'll tell you right if i can see the. triplets that were separated at birth. right one guy met. and he ran into the other guy at college. i remember right right and then he said. he said you're dan and he's like i'm not. dan i'm kevin he's like no way you look. yeah yeah i remember there was a third. one that was right yeah. and then they tried to do a research. study on them to find out if it was if.
it was. if it was nurture or nature right say. like. they all smoke the same cigarettes right. they were a science project basically. and then they found out that. that it wasn't true yeah that it that it. was true they were brother but it wasn't. true that that. um that you share these innate things. that so much of it is harbored by. nature correct no it's about. nurture because didn't one of them kill. themselves no they're all still alive. that they are right there on the photo. no one of them died. did he die yeah how did he die i think. he killed himself. how do you do it i don't i don't know.
how i always want to know how they did. it. why because i want to know would the. other would the other twin do it the. same way. i'll probably just ask my brother to um. you know what i would do is i would take. i would take 10 volumes. and i would just tell my brother to. stick a shock under my mouth and just. okay. too dark so black. it's like the darkest we were i don't. know how to how would you kill yourself. uh jump no that's too dark bunch of. flips. i would do i would do a bunch of i do a.
gainer off because there was a there was. a documentary about. the golden gate bridge what was that. called the bridge. you ever see that dude it's the best. it's about. it's about how many people died building. it right but there would be. people that jumped i remember this right. and then there would be like you know i. mean a cameraman. just that would place the camera place. the camera there and instead of going. don't do it they would just push record. they erected a net below it because so. many people were jumping off of it but.
one kid. right jumped off the golden gate bridge. and he broke every bone in his body but. he lived but he lived. and he kind of floated yeah he was just. like he was laying there did it work. yeah i'm not dead right and he. eventually makes it to. like the you know i mean the show yeah. right and then he decided. just laying there on the beach i think i. want to live finally. right that's all it takes and then he. just he he got his bones back. i don't know how how do you get your. bones done they reeled.
the bones healed right yeah they were. mended. you went to the hospital you got to did. somebody mend them yeah. a doctor oh a doctor right and then he. just lived a life but then a lot of. people. like you just die instantaneously well. you. you they say you die the moment you hit. the water yeah but sometimes you live. that's weird. that guy that lived yeah what are you. some people. more than one as lived jumping off of. there yeah. really i saw this other one where it was. like about um how to die in oregon.
it's about um assisted suicide oh right. because it's legal up there. yeah isn't that where kevorkian is from. yeah do you know who that is do you know. who. doctor of coworking you've never heard. of that oh he's the best well he's i. mean one of the best in the game for. sure he kind of in terms of. that assisted suicide yeah he's one of. the best. he's sort of like the the amadeus mozart. of suicides. he's revolutionary he's he's i don't. know who's better uh.
george michigan i didn't know he was. michigan yeah. look at how cool he looks bring up his. photos so so uh yeah rudy can see what. he looks like really handsome guy. yeah like if that guy was helping me i'd. ask. are you dead yeah sure you're dead right. yeah. you seem dead by the way you would walk. in this guy's office you want to kill. yourself yeah. wagon that finger do the one where he's. smiling below this is the kind of guy. that always looked old to me right like. i feel like he looked like this when he. was 30. do you know what i mean i've only seen. pictures of him when he's elderly yeah. even when he's young. right there look at that one in the blue.
shirt next down down below. next to the blue shirt left go left look. at that he's 36. right there was always old yeah. so this guy got a lot of criticism for. help for for pushing for assisted. suicide. because he he said people prison people. want he said people want to do it we. might as well help them do it so it's. not. let me ask you jules so if i was like um. let's say you're. a government official whatever right and. you're in charge of making laws.
okay and i uh i'm moving to a different. country i'll tell you that. yeah i proposed a law right saying that. do you believe that you know if i want. to kill myself that that it should be. legal that somebody could help me. i feel like if you have like severe. conditions that yeah. that would be okay but if you just want. to die and you're like healthy. yeah no no these are people that have. like a chronic like yeah disease that. was. that so you think that that's yeah.
because i think. yeah they're suffering already yeah yeah. do you know what a suicide is at a. fountain drink like. like you know what a fountain drink is. yeah when you go to like burger king. you know what the suicide is no god when. we you don't how does she not know. that's just. that stops suicide no andres what's the. suicide of the fountain drink. um nobody knows that except you really. yeah. george you know you mix everything. together you mix everything together see. he knows what do you mean. you do you always i didn't know that.
you've never known that no they called. it the suicide george you knew that. right. yeah he said that andreas you don't you. don't know that no what do they call. that in spain. people don't do that we don't do that. anywhere else except in the mid probably. in the midwest. right you guys call it pop anyway it is. pop it's not pop. it's pop you know it's just you know. what carbonated drink. what do you call coca-cola it's pop. carbonated drink you don't call it. carbonate pardon me may i have a. carbonated drink. [Laughter]. yes you may my little noodle friend no. you call it soda yeah so when if i go to.
because i go to fuddruckers. sure you do right build your own burger. baby yeah but they have the. they have those fancy ones the ones. where you can make new drinks. no well you can get a diet coke but then. it gives you eight other options what. i'm saying cherry cream yeah. right it's hot it's dope they have that. in movie theaters yeah they have those. in movie theaters rest in peace. so if i do that with um if i do it with. diet coke sprite and all that kind of. stuff then i call that a suicide. that's called the suicide wow i didn't. know that but those fancy machines.
you couldn't get through all those. options what do you mean the fancy. machines have like. 90 combinations right the old school old. school ones have like six you know. so you just do six yeah so it's coke. usually coke diet coke. sprite fanta yeah uh. and then and then mr pibb and or and or. uh dr pepper because they're independent. right the girl that used to live behind. me her dad worked at rc cola remember rc. cola rc yeah. i know and it went away i know it went. away why did they take it away from us.
i don't well let me tell you something. what they took away from me. um this is and i've talked to this about. this. maybe five years ago and um. when i was a kid my mom was too lazy to. make breakfast. why you look smiling i'm just settling. in for whatever it is it's not anything. bad. no i know right to you so she no no. and we'd be like you know you wake up. you go i hungry. hunky right and she go eat that and it.
was like a carnation. breakfast bar what is a package oh like. an old person's breakfast. yeah it was by carnation yeah it's like. an elderly person's breakfast. whatever yeah and they stopped making it. because i don't know but there's a. campaign. of people that were born in the 70s. right which isn't me we're trying to. bring it back. are you involved no i signed a petition.
years ago but it literally is. the greatest bar. carnation breakfast cereal breakfast bar. it's a chocolate bar. there it is that's it it's a chocolate. bar yeah. dude i remember this and it was crunchy. yeah yeah it was crunchy. there was something about the middle of. it though that you could consistency to. it that you can't. like sometimes i'll go to a 7-eleven or. whatever mm-hmm. because this if you look at the package. you go.
this looks like it and then you stick it. in your mouth it's not. it's not the same it's not the same all. right so how about this yeah in the same. way that. reddit was able to resurface gamestop. stock. yeah we're asking all of our fans right. now to tweet at does carnation still. have a. twitter we want you guys to get the. breakfast bar back i think they said. though. um i think carnation put out a statement. saying we don't even have the recipe. anymore. carnation uk whether you're making. baking top into mix and carnation makes. homemade easy with gooey caramel. condensed milk and evaporated.
that's not it this is that look that's. carnation nestle makes it it's nice. nestle owns it every everybody tweet at. nestle. and ask them to make carnation breakfast. bars for for tito bobby. i want everybody to do that to see if we. can get it the greatest thing i i swear. to god. i would probably just replace that as a. as two meals a day. if they remade it how about this if we. can get this back they should make it. just for you for your 50th birthday. this year yeah it was so there's. something about it and i just remember. like. my mom just keep she just bought boxes. of it and i would just grab a stick in.
my pockets. and take it to go and go and i wouldn't. even eat the school food do you think if. you. if you ate one now would it do you think. it would have the same. nostalgia for you like would it bring. you back i think tears would well up in. my eyes. we kind of get an incarnation if i if i. stick my it would it would bring back. all the. my dad beating me with a golf club right. yeah i mean like all the good don't be. carnation breakfast bars that's the. commercial. and stuff that's a great commercial you. know what your mom like it's like a. little a little. stocky asian kid walks walks downstairs.
you know. did your mom smoke no man i wish she did. and this in this [ __ ] she does. they're both smoking and your and your. dad is pruning flowers. and your mom is reading the paper and. you're like i'm hungry. and your mom was like eat that and she. points to a breakfast bar and you're. like. what is that and your dad hits you with. a golf club and goes don't be gay. and you take a bite of the carnation. breakfast brown you're like oh and then. and then anime like she like you know. and you just fly to the earth carnation.
and breakfast bar. you're going to be gay can i be honest. with you yeah you're really funny today. thanks i was on twitter i got rid of my. twitter. because i read something oh just let me. just say it i know you read something. negative and then. it wasn't negative about anything oh it. was somebody it was somebody saying. a young woman she goes. i love bad friends good right. i love bobby lee but i love especially. andrew santino and that's why you.
deleted twitter. because a fan said something nice to me. one time well when i read it. you get all the love in fact no i read. it in fact let me show you something. no when i read it right yeah my i it. does this thing or it started vibrating. so i was reading it and was going to. i was going i was trying to be happy for. you too impossible no. be real i was looking at my phone right. i was reading it right. and i did you know a joker smile you. know because i was forcing it. yeah so i was doing this right that's. nice.
and then my eyes started vibrating like. this yeah and then i. you know got out of the app and i held. on to it like this. and then i pressed the x delete and it. zipped. all because of a nice comment yeah how. many more comments you get okay george. bring up the video of the kid. you want to see something insane look at. look at look at this kid by the way time. out how old do you think this child is. he's cute take a guess weird thing to. say right away. how old do you think he is eight okay. how old jules eight you can't don't get.
the same goddamn number. she's not your dad seven or. ten okay what do you think andres oh. have you seen the clip you guys if. you've both seen it then you can't say. it. i've seen it all right george you've. seen it too all right so okay here we go. listen to what this kid says. yeah okay so what are you blake four. four. four years old what's your favorite. podcast. bad friends and who presents bad friends.
who's your favorite bobby or andrew. uh why. no he said bobby so what do you like. about bobby. valentine's day. what do you like about andrew what. what do you like about andrew.
and it centeno kim what you have on your. face what you got in your face. are they english the boil is on his face. [Laughter]. by the way you know how keen this kid is. you don't even know you don't even know. what he's referencing. it do you remember the boils that you. talked about yeah it's upsetting that.
a little bit it feels good let me say. this one a little kid. would watch listen to our pockets it's. insane and also. he says what do you like about andrew. santino he takes his paws and he goes. when he says the kid what you got on. your face. that's from like my my special from like. six years ago. that a joke from my special that's a. funny joke no but i think it's crazy. that this kid knows that i know that the. dad lets him watch us and by the way. whoever this dad is you're the best yeah. you're the let this kid watch bad. friends. forever because look at how nice of a.
kid he is what's going on what is this. i don't even i ignore this [ __ ] whenever. this first of all let me guess i haven't. seen this video yet. let me guess he calls me sleepy eyes. let's hear it. yeah let me let me make an assumption. here. that this redneck is going to say. something about my eyes. okay let's hear it go ahead bobby lee. you [ __ ] hear me bobby lee. sleepy [ __ ] all right wake up dawg i'm. that [ __ ] alarm clock son.
yeah come get some you want it you. little gristle animal come get it dog. come freaking get it dude there's cat. with them new bangs dude i'll. i'll jump off the bottom rope and. [ __ ] still take you out you bastard. yeah you're gonna hit that red head on. the way down dude i [ __ ] oh. oh yeah i'll catch that dude with you. get a little cinnamon on your elbow i'll. catch i do with my. yeah one of my hoofs i'll catch that. chatty hollywood elite with one of my. hooks. yeah he is hollywood oh dawg time i'm.
sorry i can't do the show. i'm i'm on set yeah i'm on set i watched. somebody else's stretch i was on set. yeah dude setting my deck of nuts. when i was a kid yeah there was a kid. named brady. and i i think that he was born literally. with no brain right right like he was. just empty. yeah but i hung out with him because. this dude right. could pull a stop sign right out of the. ground right off the ground.
with his hand at the age of 12. yeah you. your woman do it. do it you go good and pull it out. yeah right and i use brady because i'm. the you know. every brady has a guy like me a hundred. percent a little guy yeah like you know. master blaster. master blood consumer best blaster pull. up master bath blaster. yeah master blaster. [Laughter]. right that's that's brady that's brady. and you and that's me on top. i'm the guy telling him what to do right. go this way yeah go this way.
brendan schaab right is. the same right. yeah so theo's right yeah telling you. what to do yeah right. it's that redneck right that twangy. little [ __ ] that hicka dude. i didn't want to say in bread because it. would be a compliment wait it's true. yeah it'd be a compliment to him yeah. and yeah yeah a few of my cousins. yeah it's a mix of like family blood. yeah he's such a dick fart he's a hit. yeah you know how you can tell he has an. eye that just wanders what about these.
two douchies. are doing right is that you should. provoke a war with the real warriors. right with real world. yeah yeah they're trying to provoke a. war with true warriors. you know what with you know what we're. the mental we have mental capacities. yeah yeah here's the thing you and i say. we're stupid all the time yeah we do. that as a fun we go we're dumb and we're. not that smart. these two guys yeah honestly i'm not. kidding pound for. pound the dumbest people i've ever met. in my life. like the yeah you know can i say. something to you. that's the brightest thing you've ever.
said yeah because you're right. and there was always something about. them yeah when i would hang out with. them. right i would feel uneasy right right. like you know um. if i used a word right they did they. couldn't comprehend. yeah i mean yeah and um but what i. realized was. is that i'm dealing with people that are. just not mentally. quite there because of either their. heritage. ceo right or um.
or because they got hit in the head so. many times shop yeah. yeah and so that you just nailed it in. the butt right there they are just. um bottom dumb you you know what an. anglerfish is. like sure you know it has the light and. pull up a picture of an anglerfish. yeah yeah this is what theo and schaub. look like if they were if they were. together a fish if the own shop were uh. a fish that that's them there they are. no no no the the third one the orange. one the most yeah that's the only. there we got water.
that's what they look like yeah let's. say some good things about let's say. some nice stuff now. they are um quirky cute. yeah they're um. that's all we got theo. calls me one day and he goes hey man uh. i got a gig where we're gonna play a. millionaire's house. and i go ah i don't do houses man he. goes. dude it's like hit and run man you did.
10 minutes. and i made you half my money it was a. lot of money yeah it was like it was. like. 10 grand to do like 10 minutes of. material oh my god we got in the car. drove away he made me a lot of money for. for nothing. right and he didn't have to do it. because he could have done it by himself. why did he why did he ask you because he. thought it would be fun to do with me. that's nice and he's a nice guy no he's. a really nice guy. and um shaub is just a gentle giant.
they're both very sweet. you know what this is the reverse you. know what we're not going to attack back. how about this. we don't know what we did we we went to. you know what i mean we got yeah our gun. instinct yeah. we need to go attack and we should have. done the other thing yeah here's the. other thing which is you know just say. you guys are doing fine. great man i love those guys i love great. guys. you know what's so good about these guys. talent everything oh everybody's. talent skill ability these guys are. great guys. you know the word you usually people use.
the word dynamic in the wrong way. but i'm going to apply it to them. dynamic yeah they are dynamic yeah. i've never met two guys more informed. aware and educated. yeah just they have just an instinctual. um. talent like they're just instinctually. good they were born. knowing how to talk and have you know i. mean really unique um. interviews and absolutely and they're. able to express themselves in a very. original way. and and i think that they're um just.
real. mega stars you know in the podcast world. and and in the. and in their entertainment in general. you know you know want to track when. you're when you're in a race on a track. and everyone has to start at a staggered. position but technically that's all. that's all it's. it's at the same position but it's. staggered because it's on a curve yeah. these guys yeah they're the kind of guys. that would start. behind the curve and let you have the. begin and they'll go. you go first because i'm so good i'll. catch up. yeah it's almost like they would have. their own olympics do you know what i. mean. that's very it's almost like they're.
they're in a league of their own. and can i just say this too about them. if there's a sainthood about them. oh good for instance oh goodness oh. goodness for instance um. remember when jesus was um nailed to the. cross i remember it vividly and. a roman guy you know they stabbed right. yeah while he was up there right he was. up there right. and they walked away laughing probably. like [ __ ] right. um shaw seems like a guy that would go. up to jesus's wounds. and just start and heal them heal it and. try to and even though he's dead.
right he's dead right he's trying to. heal yeah and he'd probably kiss it. kiss the wound and theo is the kind of. guy we're not don't don't forget about. theo. theo is the kind of guy i won't forget. about don't forget about theo i'm not. he was the kind of guy i don't even i. don't know if you know this but theo. yeah theo used to work in a bowling. alley when he was a kid. right and he would set the pins yeah. right and there was a little old lady. she was 97 years old. this was her 97th birthday party yeah. and she just found out that day. that it ain't working that well anymore.
oh right. and she said all i want for my birthday. is to have a perfect game yeah right. perfect game means. all the strikes 300 yeah theo catches. wind at us. right while he's in the back fixing the. bowling machines. bowling pin machines and so what does he. do he knows she's 97 she can't see the. pins. yeah as she rolls every time no matter. what. he makes it go down yeah first frame. second frame third frame. and this is crazy right yeah this is. crazy on the last frame.
yeah he said i'm gonna let her do it on. her own because i believe in her yeah. she lets the ball go yeah sure enough. strike. on her own she gets a 300 she gets a 300. of all. yeah yeah that's the kind of guy that. theo is. and by the way the old lady wasn't even. white and i know that's tough for him. yeah but it wasn't even a white old lady. she was black was she was a black old. lady i read that and i know that you. know theo inside was like i don't know. if i can help you. yeah yeah yeah but he did anyway he went. against his family traditionally he went. against. his innate right instinct yeah another.
thing that he did was um. you know lately chinese people are being. hurt. in public in public because of the. roanoke because they have because. the chinese virus right but they've been. doing it for a long time right i'm just. saying this happens. he's from the south. he's from louisiana louisiana small town. small town yeah. and there was one chinese guy there. there was one yes and all the you know. southerners they used to push. they used to take uh you know those like. mini bats and mini bats.
and you know one guy would go i'm gonna. swing it i'm gonna swing it. right on his forehead tommy right when i. hit like this. you hit another one here oh right so. there you you you know me so he wouldn't. even know where to go. whoa right so yeah so they would hit him. and he you know i mean. because if you hit him this way he'd go. forward yeah right but they would hit. him and he would go blah blah blah blah. blah blah blah. blah and every day and then one day. right. one guy named bubba smith that was his. name i okay you read a box. i've heard about that yeah he pushes the.
chinese man right. leo roy chan was his name yeah and leroy. was falling down to concrete oh what did. theo do. what theo laid on the ground. no yes laid on the ground like this. right right right brakely royce. broke his fall wow yeah and they just. laid there for like. 45 minutes did the theo say and then. leroy would go. thank you so much thank you don't worry. about it man no no. nope no sweating off my problem no sweat.
off my paws yeah so he's done so many. things. he speaks and limericks that guy he does. he's smooth it's poetic. hey man you know what they say you can't. open a can if a dog's butt ain't gonna. be shining from tuesday to wednesday. yeah and it's stuff like that that makes. me go yeah i know what he's talking. about yeah exactly. i know what he's talking about so you. know um they can. uh they can try to throw stones at us. yeah and. because we know who they are they're. really good people and they're profits. and they're and because this whole thing. this facade yeah it's not real.
it's not real deep down yeah these are. good guys deep down they want to be. us. they don't want to be us and so that's. what that. that's where it drives from that's what. it comes from yeah it's i want to be. them so bad you know i mean. and then i'll attack but we'd already. know who they are we know who they. really are and they're good people. good this whole king and the sting thing. yeah this big personality. yeah yeah king not a king no.
just just a jester yeah just a man. gesture and the stung and stung past. tense yeah yeah. yeah it's over he was stung he was. stunned yeah the gesture and the stone. yeah that's what it is and i wish them. the most like in fact let me tell you. something yeah are you ready for me to. do this right now. go ahead i hope their show never. ends ever and one day they'll get. 15 positive reviews. that's my goal for them i want them to. get something i get 15 reviews.
yes would be nice so guys can all of our. fans do me a favor. go over to uh the gesture. go over to their page and go ahead and. write their um. good luck fellas just wish them luck yes. good luck fellas from bad friends from. bad friends yeah good luck. fellas from bad friends that's what we'd. like and they wish you well we wish you. well. yes i love it i love it and you know. what on this positive happy. uplifting upbeat note thank you for. being a best. friend.
[Music]. no i love those guys yeah this is all. this is all in good fun but honestly. talk [ __ ] about us again and we're gonna. [ __ ] you guys up. we'll [ __ ] you guys up don't start a war. you don't want to fight in yeah that's. insane. what are you doing yeah you're bringing. your brain you know it goes back to the. vietnam war we shouldn't have been there. this is vietnam yeah and you should not. be here this is vietnam. right if you want to fight bong wang. and one of the triplets then come. through and do it i think it's a bad.
[Music]. idea. [Music].
