Paper Airplanes Come & Steal Your Girl | Ep 248 | Bad Friends

hey we got the B we got the we got the. merch the bad friends merch bad friends. merch look we've got the uh the fans. submitted we're working with the fans on. designing the merch now and this is one. of the hoodies that we've got and this. is embroidered this is embroidered and. that one says I'm Bobby mom and can I. say something and it's uh beautifully. embroidered it's it's it's patched on. there it's gorgeous uh and it's at bad. friends merch.com go to badri merch.com. this episode of bad friends is presented. and fueled by hu your O2 for Complete.

Nutrition try hu with 15% off today. using Code bad friends at my.u.com. badri you two are bad friends who are. these two idiots a white dude and an. Asian dude you two are. disgusting you two or something we're. bad. friends come here what. somebody look at this I can't see what. that what is that just come please look. at it what is that oh no is that dip is.

that like a uh what is this area right. here dude that's a croissant jelly type. [ __ ] look at this area right here I see. it yeah what is the white. thing taste it maon no no no no don't. don't taste it but but listen paper can. you can you clean that or do we have. those disinfectant Rags I this is insane. dude you clean his side but you my side. like this they don't clean my side I. just don't get it dirty like you. do that's a big difference mhm what are.

you doing bro nous just wipe it just. wipe. it you don't let it soak it doesn't evil. laugh evil left all right that's good. I'm letting it soak it doesn't soak no. you don't no you don't know how to soak. it dude it's fine let's go I soak so. good Mormons do some people do Mormons. are the big so people Super Soakers. Mormons are the Super Soakers of the. world yeah and then what's a kid that. goes underneath the bed and rocks the. bed what's his name H so they soak right. they they can't have movement so they.

stick the wiener in they don't move it. and then someone goes onto the bed and. pushes it the kid from The Grudge that's. what right that's who it is I call it. the kid from the grud see look at this. shaking the bed in Mormon it's something. commonly done by Mormon teens expected. to remain virgin it's called it's called. jump humping jump humping so the guy. gets under the bed and moves the bed. last night where were. you I was at home I was at my friend's. show I didn't feel good last night oh. yeah can't you tell I'm all clogged up. oh my back is killing love you dude.

okay stop now I know I was supposed to. go last night I texted I texted show. today I apologized last night I'm at The. Comedy Store and I see this sickly guy. not sickly handsome skinny you know. talented you mean in shape that's what I. meant yeah like an in shape guy you're. right you're right yeah okay that's. resentment talking I think yeah dud put. that away let let me put that aside. holster that put that in the holster cuz. you're looking skinny lately how many. people on how many people on tour.

commented that the OIC must be working. because you look skinny heard the whole. trip Jeremiah Watkins last night called. me. fatty he goes what's up fatty and I. could I could not believe it yeah but. he's like paper he's like a whispy thin. guy he attacked me anyway um why did he. call you fatty I don't know why what who. started it he did he just came up to you. and goes hey fatty yeah wow it was. incredible and that Dr Phil stuff's. going to his head huh I think that's. what it is till.

con till con kill Tony I mean is that. our. version welcome back to till con till. Cony and Dr Phil got to his head yeah. anyway um so last night this guy comes. up to me yeah. Morgan Jay is that Jay Morgan or what. what did happen it's Morgan J okay you. really think his you is you think Jay. Morgan you've known him I know but I. thought he switched it no I've never. heard anyone with the last name of J. everybody says Morgan Jay Morgan all the. time I don't know why that happened.

because of two first names I yeah I. guess that's your fault my first middle. name my fault can what's your real last. name ven chin are you really venty. chinue means uh 25 yeah no don't do that. what's your real last name he doesn't. want no it is venty chinue no chance. it's not venty chinue give me your ID. are we introducing me yet no yet no. we're just doing this right I swear you. let us take control of the show vent. chin all right vent. chin there's only one part of that last. name I love I can't believe this guyun I. can't believe.

look I. swear my house every wow they won't even. let me bro he even has a hot driver's. license photo how hot he is dude he's. hot in the photo he's got a side he's. side chin he's doing one of these yeah. your middle name I went to my first I no. no it's my always my middle name for. Morgan J Morgan J Morgan J vent 25 yeah. 25 yeah it's a weird last name there's a. whole weird story in Sicily about okay. you're cilano cilio let's [ __ ] here go.

same dude man you are [ __ ] hot. everyone else has to Face Forward when. they take the picture and they usually. say don't smile he's so hot they let him. go sideways and smile you are a hot guy. you're [ __ ] sexy Morgan J is in the. building give it up for Morgan J I had. an intro man yeah it was taking too. [ __ ] long yeah it was too long oh. yeah yeah can I well can I not yet can I. just say what I'm going to say and then. oh yeah say what you want let me say. what I want to say say what you want to. say say what you want to say this is his. favorite let him do this. [Music].

drink. away he hangs out with Benny hops little. two. eyes Jimmy the cricket he knows Jimmy. the cricket he knows Jimmy the cricket. how long you know Jimmy the cricket how. long you know Jimmy the. cricket any all right. so so last night he comes up to me. nervous yeah he's hey he goes I'm a. little nervous I about what he goes I. wrote down questions no I wrote down. talking points.

okay it's not quite I wrote the in sorry. go. ahead I'm I'm going to I'm I'm going to. show you Andrew every time you interrupt. him he's going to do the [ __ ] guy. that's that's. the let me see some of these this is. what I showed him all right so some of. the questions that he wrote down or some. of the to talking points making this. list because I feel like I'm not a good. podcast guest did Whitney's podcast she. never put it out did dumbfounded podcast. we had to redo it I did I did I did. Tiger mil podcast you didn't put it out. yeah tiger oh the yours no not mine Jang.

uh Jang Yang sum oh Jang Summers J wait. wait hers is called tiger Milk Tiger. mil tiger mil yeah she's your Protege. she called hers tiger mil yeah I don't. [ __ ] know I guess yeah I'm going to. get this. okay whacked all right so listen you did. Whitney and she never put it out no she. never put it out but that's also cuz she. could have taken the wrong pill that day. and forgot to post.

then you had a colonoscopy on Friday. yeah and the drug they gave you felt. good what the the Michael Jackson drug. like propanol oh Pro propenol right it. was good that's good Carlos don't nod so. can I just finish my intro real quick. brother we're already there no I'm not. there yet he says another thing that. that he says another thing what do I say. I'm so nervous I'm with somebody right. he gives me the list who are you with a. comic a young lady oh nice lady then he. goes I of I didn't even ask he goes I. got a viac to me stop you then he goes I.

swear to God he goes you want to see it. stop I was so nervous I just I go on the. Pao I go I go I didn't even ask I didn't. even ask you're the guy who shows his P. to audiences I and then right he goes do. you want to see it yeah and I go we're. in the patio there's people around what. the [ __ ] is your problem but he's the. guy who shows his pubes to people on. stage I thought it was this makes sense. it was like I thought that was your. energy this makes sense oh you can't M A. you can't. you can't match my energy what was this.

okay you can't match it my my energy is. my own frequency you can't match it did. OIC shrink your hands look at your. little finger I know dude everything. when you went like this fing I wasn't. really going to do it but I was nervous. and I just was vom can I see it I do. want to see it me yeah can I I could. I'll you really want to see it I'd love. to see we not going to put it on camera. but I'd love to I want to see it you got. to see it I don't want to see it I want. to see it I refuse to see it I got to. see it why'd you get a bisectomy you're. because you never want to have kids okay. look there's there's a scar right there.

okay you have nice testicles dude. there's one on the other side too t are. very very pink you you you're real bald. well I I I shave my balls you shave with. a razor or with like a like aing it down. I shave with a razor most of us Italians. we don't shave our balls no I shave I. shave with a razor yeah you go down on. women yeah [ __ ] Italians don't throw. that neither we don't throw. that oh that was in The Sopranos right. he didn't want to eat his his that used. to be real fa faux paw for Italian. American to go down on it was like you.

suck my you want to see it you I just. saw it you didn't see it I saw the pink. sack all right nice color beautiful sack. beautiful sack so I'm sorry dude no I'm. sorry wait let's back up you're 37 years. old yeah and you got a aect toy because. you never want it you're like no kids. ever are you married yeah I I got a I. got a serious partner I'm with but uh. we're in an open thing and uh you know. I'm dealing with something right now. currently we don't know for sure if this. girl is like lying or not about it.

pregnancy that kind of put the fear of. God in Me just was like you know you got. to change things Bo what I tell you no. what I tell you no you told what I tell. you I mean you told me last night what. the [ __ ] I tell you so you don't [ __ ]. Oho you don't [ __ ] girls you don't go. Midwest [ __ ] them yeah you got to you. told me Miami isn't that where Whitney's. kid is from Miami no but another comic. Another comic was like you got to hook. up can I have my phone back no okay. another comic was saying like you can't. hook up with girls in small towns if you. do it in a big city it's like oh I. didn't tell you that oh yeah you told. that somebody told you yeah wait a.

minute because if you do it in a small. town she'll probably have the kid no. it's just like you're like I don't want. you you're like the coolest thing to. happen in that town like if you if you. [ __ ] a girl Miami she'll [ __ ] a football. player the next day you know or before. she [ __ ] you yeah exactly yeah. literally or you might be the appetizer. and then she but yeah but me me and my. me me and my girl we we've we've already. like talked about how we don't want to. have kids and stuff you don't bag it no. I do I do and this this this my come was. nowhere near this person so now I'm like. oh that's even okay what do you mean. what do you mean he's saying the person. that claimed pregnancy he there was no.

there was no intera there was no. transactional jizz yeah no trans. sometimes I can redirect my jiz and and. and they haven't and I I really can your. your jiz walks like an old Asian man. with his hands behind his back strumming. through the street a break to smoke by. the time by the time it comes out of. your penis sludge yeah she's gone she's. already at home she's gone yeah yeah. anyway um but yeah so I got and just out. of an abundance of caution and also you. know the next four years are going to be. tough on women so I figured i' get my. nuts snipped off anyway all right cuz. Trump might take. take I did this before the election I.

did this in September you did I this in. September yeah you have cute bulgy eyes. I'm not high bro no but the bulin I like. oh I brought you guys a gift you smoke. weed in general or no I'm kind of don't. do anything anymore you quit you just I. I'll have a drink like for special. occasions but outside of that good for. you do I I I know you guys get a bunch. of free [ __ ] all the time and you guys. might you don't have to keep this you. can give it back to me if you want but I. know you wear beanie sometimes he loves. beanie I have the LOL hahaa beanie love. throw it this is fantastic I have these.

two lighters this one's for you love. one's for you yeah that one's not for. you oh look at this it's a oh it's. titties this one this one's for you yo. this is great oh you sell these at your. show docen I I got those I got those in. uh I got those in your I got those on my. and I just yeah you can have it and then. these are the what's your name bro hat. let me see oh okay this is this is from. your show this is from the show wow so I. don't know you feel free to give it to. somebody El no this is I'm going to wear.

this I rock this you know what's so. funny let's just hide the lighter so I. don't have to block them for the whole. episode okay do you have to block that. it's a it's a. YouTube now go ahead Express Yourself. can you uh hit me a little song there do. you want like inspirational piano music. or inspirational yeah okay let's. see oh no I have another one no we like. that there are times on the podcast when.

I'm sick and tired of the spaniard's. [ __ ] why can't we fire. him are we waiting for him to be. deported got to go Gotta Go Gotta Go. he's. worthless a disgusting por of a. [Music]. man thank you great thank you thank. you do you like my sound effect I really. like it thanks man you know usually. sound effects don't get involved you.

know I mean but I thought this is the. right time sometimes you got to I. thought very appropriate is this song oh. yeah oh my God go yeah you turn this. up let's. go yeah the. badc why is Bobby Lee accusing me of. being on. drugs do you want to do some of this you. want to try it out okay you could try it. out just get it close to your mouth I. know how it works what doesn't sound.

like. it now I know how it works put away the. other mic I know how it. works sick you little [ __ ] Italian. bastard eyes big. teeth just like a cartoon character from. Disney. [Music]. it's fun isn't.

it. [Laughter]. no you want to try it you want try. it. [Music]. oo oh my God you got to get closer dude. you got to get closer closer to it you. got to get closer to. him here we go I never want to give it. back oh my God he's killing it. everything inside of me not to lick your.

sack you got a great sack. J it's. beautiful there it is I'm sick of this. as next to. me it's fun dude F fun real fun really. fun all right so what I so what I said. was to to Morgan before the show I said. I said dude I love what you do yeah I. said but you've also done a a a.

disservice to our comedy world because. he's so good at this and so it's so. wonderful I see people copy him online. we're were talking about there's people. in other countries who are doing this. now as standups trying to be him and. they're [ __ ] terrible there's a port. there's a guy from Portugal doing it a. guy from Germany doing it Russia like. these different countries are franchise. stinks it's so weird they're like. they're trying to do this thing but it's. so bad that it bums me out because I'm.

it's almost like you wish you could. copyright your style do you know what. I'm saying yeah because it because it. because whenever somebody if you're. weird and you suck but you're unique I. like you yeah I said that to him I like. it but if you're weird but I know that. you're doing a impression of another guy. can't [ __ ] stand it but I mean you. know some people accuse me of being like. a kind of like a poor man's Little Dicky. sometimes too I get that a lot you know. like only because you're a curly hair. bro but we also do the autotune stuff. and yeah but Dave but Dave is you know. I've met him three times I feel like I.

botch the every the meeting every time. you know what let's get to this well. he's Jewish I want to get to this part. of your personality Italians okay yeah. that's a problem this part of your. personality why is it why does it feel. like you're like I'm coming in here and. I'm have to defend myself to me no to to. him like right across from you I feel I. got to defend myself he's always. shooting the kid's shooting what is it I. can't even I can't believe I'm nervous. dude you dude this I can't don't don't I. make you feel comfortable you made me. feel comfortable see why are you. shooting so hard at him I'm not shooting.

hard I can't believe what's going on. right now what's going on I can't even. believe I can't I'm rattled it you know. here's Carlos called it thank you what. is it you get rattled when when when. it's a hot guy you do no you don't yes. he does bro yes he always does tell me. I'm lying I don't think he's hot you're. so full of [ __ ] dude shut the [ __ ] up. that's insane you 100% that that right. there is a grave misjustice you wouldn't. hook up with him right this right here. is you would hook up diabolic in what. context exactly Schindler's List yeah. he's not dude he in a shinders list.

context where I'm in a camp maybe yeah. you mean but no other context mad maybe. in an Amat contest we're in the bottom. of on the boat on the boat we're rowing. you're you're well you're not rowing. what you're not rowing well I'm you know. where I'm at you're in the you're in the. co room no I'm rowing but I'm at the. strongman rad team where I don't have to. do much I just put my hand on the thing. go go go and I'm just kind of going. keeping time yeah yeah yeah that doing. the Dr what's that doing the Dr Dr yeah.

that's not this this isn't Fury Road. okay hear me where. I'm that not Fury Road all right I [ __ ]. you in Fury so what what did what did. you want to what did you want to bring. up yeah what was it it wasn't being. aggressive dude it was just an. observation I'm so sorry that maybe I. maybe I do come across that way no no no. I'm projecting no no no let me change my. attitude I think you're right so let me. start over all right here we go yeah go. ahead hey what's up what's up man what's. going on thanks for doing it oh I'm so.

happy to I'm a big fan really yeah I. just made a little observation if you. wanted to hear it love to hear it yeah. yeah it's just everything comes from a. negative lens with you sometimes you. know really yeah a little bit but you. know do you you do you L be me and it. really good to see you man I like what. you're doing out there I appreciate it. man feel better I do yeah that is that. better now yeah okay cool was that that. that was the feedback was that it that. that I have I thought you had a comment. or something that I see like things as a. negative no like you know because last. night you're you know no offense if you.

know I love you you know do you know but. but what no I'm. talking hey man see that's what it is I. think it's him did you see that no and. no Andrew please back me up okay okay. please be real can I ask a question. first no make make a comment about my. observation just now he he he's he is he. is excited to be here I am so nervous. can I tell you something you don't know. this you don't remember this I I think I. know what it is what is it it's the four. finger point no no it's not that yeah.

yeah yeah point with one finger don't go. with four because it's dominating no you. you go like can I tell you something. with four I don't like it that's good I. had two encounters with you fine two. fingers now two fingers fine so I once. was on in Venice it was on iini and I. saw you walking down the street this was. like a year or two ago when I wasn't. having the blowup right and I go oh. Bobby Lee what's up you know my buddy. Mark Smalls he's like play plays games. with you and stuff and and and you were. like are you a funny guy are you funny. are you like you were like you were like. seeing. that sounds exactly are you funny and.

you like you like grabbed me a little. bit like tussle me like kept walking and. I was like okay and then and then uh the. second time I was at the Improv I I. can't. believe this is. unbelievable this is unbelievable I. can't believe this the second time wow. continue friend it it was at the Improv. and I and I was so excited cuz we in the. same lineup and he was coming in the in. the The Green Room and he goes oh my God. you're so talented do you [ __ ] a lot. when you're on the road like that was.

exactly that was like how quick it came. so it was like very quick like boom and. I was like oh [ __ ] and I really wanted. to like I don't know what you know it. was like I wanted to give you the right. answer I don't know what the right. answer was that's how he operates you. must [ __ ] a lot right you're a. good-looking guy never said that that's. insane you did either one didn't happen. say it to me right now I'll pretend I'm. Morgan and say that exactly what he said. I'll walk in the room and do it oh yeah. walk in the room and let me see say that. say what you're sexy as [ __ ] you [ __ ] oh. you're doing great I I like your [ __ ]. online the road ready oh my God you're. so no I'm I'm me you're no I'm I'm you.

you're me. oh hold on I'm not done I got to be you. go back up back up for a second I Gotta. Be You real. quick get those eyes open get my wide. eyes wide eyes there you go all right go. ahead oh oh my God you're so you're so. Talent You're such oh thank you I do. autotune oh man this sheer disrespect I. do a lot of a. why and and and I've seen how Bobby.

isn't you know oh yeah go do it over do. it. again cuz I have another line I want to. go you need the mic anyway um but you. did say that to him for sure that sounds. no because people make exaggerations. about my my encounters with them I'm. being real you think you're Bill Murray. or some [ __ ] or what isn't it Bill. Murray he does that no what I'm saying. is people go oh I met Bobby Le did this. I never did that yeah you I mean so it's.

like I don't know I don't remember those. in that's how I remember it but well. yeah I remember probably different yeah. and that's the thing about. storytelling yeah that's the thing about. you know you ever see the movie. Rashon yeah rashan you know what I mean. is that rashan where it's like it's four. people three people telling the story of. one thing yeah from their all their. different points of views okay so in. this rashan context right my point of. view is this I saw you in v in in on.

Venice AB Kenny yeah right and I go oh. he's cool and I go how's comedy going. that's how I remember it and then in the. Improv this is how I view it I go oh I. love your [ __ ] online you go yeah yeah. and and then you go you said I get a lot. of girls and I go oh that's cool because. that happens when you. rise that's my point of view that's how. you yeah that's how you thought it. happened that's how I know it happened. in my point of view yeah there was. another time at the store too that I'm. recalling you go you see now go ahead.

where well I was just trying I've said. hello to you cuz I just assume somebody. like you wouldn't remember who I. am and so he's got a great memory yeah. he does the kids got a memory like a. [ __ ] elephant and so I I said yeah I. think my buddy Andrew Lopez did uh did. your podcast and. uh like I don't know you also like I. think you asked again if I was funny or. not CU we didn't know you I don't think. you knew who I was and you kept asking. if I was funny you you are very funny. yeah Bobby dude this is a key case of.

confabulation. confabulation. confabulation welcome to. Andrew's. [Laughter]. [Music]. new you li Italian master you look like. a sick t.

from the Goda. [Laughter]. [Music]. mov I really like you. though I like. you God it's. beautiful. wow very good beautiful very good manc. hey everyone Jing Jing Jing Jing Jing. with the creeping up faster than your.

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save some money using our discount go to. display.com badf friends the discount is. applied automatically or use the code. bad friends at the checkout to get up to. 36% off your order display collect your. passions we met only one time right uh. we did uh we did a show in Venice many. many years ago and backyard oh in a. backyard it was a big show was a got Ben. Blanchard I was rning interesting cuz. Andrew doesn't do backyard this was a. long time ago before he was a actor. inter never done a backyard show I.

thought Ricky was great thank you bro. that's also a crazy lie during Co I did. outdoor shows all the time I did one you. know the kid there's a kid on the east. side who had a show and had a treehouse. in his backyard do you know what I'm. talking about yes I did that you never. you didn't you never wasn't it Santa. Monica or Santa Monica no Santa Monica. was right no no no there's I guess. there's a lot of treehouses on the east. side I can't see you going to at Venice. to do a back this was a long time ago. brother before this was like pre2 like. 18. back in the day I went everywhere I used.

to drive down to [ __ ] I used to drive. down to Dana Point to do shows Dana. Point okay you know where that is I love. it you don't know where that is no I. don't know where it is no it's the last. City before you get to the military base. on the way to San Diego I used to drive. down there I used to drive to [ __ ]. Orange County all the time for shows man. I'd put in the [ __ ] work we weren't. all mad tv kids that got to just do the. store all the time some of us had to. [ __ ] oh God oh God grind my def.

my my defenses are coming up low rip. dude be a nice guy good to see you good. to see you. touche thank you really great tour we. went went to Australia no I'm not. talking about we're not going to talk. about that today uhuh my brother's. really excit him on the podcast he. listens to the podcast what's his name. Jack shout out to Jack I'm not going to. tell you how he described the podcast. but he's excited about what did he say. he said yeah I like that Pock I can't. tell you you're you have to tell you. have to tell yeah go ahead with the. Irish dude in the fat asian guy that's. what he said that's the alternative name.

for the show The Irish D and the fat. asian guy not fat anymore not fat. anymore that's what he said zi is is. cooking he loves the pka yeah you know. it's so it's so fun because it's here's. what's fun about life I just can't. believe it what can't you believe I mean. it's just like lie you'll never meet the. guy lie lie no you had to tell the truth. truth is always funny yeah it's an. incredible but um wow okay next time you. cough into the mic put it on the auto. tune okay I want to hear autotune cough.

you're sick too aren't you I thought you. guys make fun of each other on this. podcast we do we do yeah we do we do. that's our whole now so far now so far. you know you've done other podcasts and. you thought you did bad on the other how. do you think you're doing on this one I. don't know dude no no be honest with me. how do you think you're doing I think. I'm doing mid I think you're doing very. great yeah you're fantastic it's great. see if he gets released I. know that is that's the guy that guy. could not release it he's the guy yeah. he's our little magician yeah I think. you're doing a great job thanks man yeah.

and um welcome thanks for having me this. is awesome all right so let me ask this. let's move on from the masectomy thing I. want to cuz you brought talking points. at you had a colonoscopy on Friday your. father had yeah you died in colon cancer. I'm Sor how old were you six 6 years old. was like 31 years ago yeah wow dude yeah. and then my I got my mom remarried my. stepdad has. Parkinson's like 30 years yeah maybe. it's. you that's you know what T I'm sorry bro. bro it just came out I know no dude I.

apologize when you said that it rang. true with me it did you know what dude. it rang true with me I didn't want to. say anything I want to see that earlier. yeah he bad luck or could be the Vietnam. War and agent orange I don't know that. could be it too interesting you could. bring it back to the Asian. [ __ ] very interesting you did that yeah. that's incredible yeah maybe it's co. what's next what' you have for lunch. Panda Express cut it out dude cut it out. wait wait a minute how old is the. gentleman of Parkinson he's uh 77. terrible so awful and and this guy was.

your dadas he raised you just more or. less yeah yeah and and is he are all his. functionality is is still there or is he. kind of you know on good days it's like. it's you know he just has slow speech. but U you know on bad days it's like. he's not talking at all and it's just. like that's terrible slow slow slow. blinks a lot of coughing at the uh at. the dinner table and stuff like that. it's funny when people bring up um stuff. like that I tend to laugh but it's not. I'm not mean no a defense mechanism I. understand like ramsy at The Comedy.

Store his dad's losing his mind you know. mean when he first told me he goes my. dad's like losing his mind and then you. know you know what mean I was like you. that was like my first that's because I. just can't deal with it like if I'm at a. funeral It's Your Instinct if I'm a. funeral I'm going to laugh like one time. my brother at a funeral right and we. heard a knock and I go look anti H is. trying to get out and then my then my. brother started laughing like. uncontrollably yeah so it's just in you. know in uncomfortable situations. I'm wiing back at him he's looking at me.

I love you. dude yeah I love you dude dude you and I. we should have been Pals long ago let's. play some fortnite together or Call of. Duty or something yeah yeah war zone or. something where'd you grow up jersey. about an hour outside of New York love a. jersey kid I was it I was in uh freshman. where were you at. 911 high school high school yeah me too. one of my one of my favorite classes too. what class was it Spanish Spanish [ __ ]. up my Spanish class I was I was in. English class were you and and we had. people in our town that worked in the.

World Trade Center area remember the. girl I remember the girl right behind me. bro burst into tears and ran out of the. room cuz they showed it was like on TV. it was crazy wow wow what are you. talking about 911 is that in your topics. no it wasn't but I don't know I'm I'm. running around a list. now that was very good I feel like that. was on the list yeah yeah yeah this is. kind of wild yeah this one says promote. Hamas wow yeah okay go ahead brother. yeah go ahead dude yeah that's on you. this is a good platform yeah I guess. uh this one here we go go here we go we.

go yeah keep going keep. going ride the middle ride the middle of. Hamas come on yeah ride the. [Music]. middle really good dude will you once. will you once Noone no once grab it we. you just say you sing sing Allah Akbar.

once in there yeah yeah H Allah Allah. Akbar out of context this is going to be. terrible it doesn't it doesn't. [Music]. matter I want that as my ringtone so. bad no okay hold on this this is good. went to private members Club at in. Disneyland 33 you went to Club 33 yeah I.

went there my refs got me in there yeah. you know what's fun get get a couple of. pieces of paper we're going to write. some lines he's going to sing them yeah. get if it's too much you know what I. mean yeah this why this is why this is. this is fun this is fun let's do this. yeah you did so you felt like you bombed. meeting Little Dicky for real yeah so. the first time I was like he just moved. to Santa Monica and um this is before. the show and everything we're at the. California Chicken Cafe on on Lincoln. Boulevard he loves that place and I go. in there and I go oh Little Dicky man. hey you're so great man if you're ever. looking for someone to do like a hook or. something it was really nice he was like.

actually man I'm just trying to do like. real rap right now but he was like if. you put your mind in anything you really. can achieve like your dreams or some. [ __ ] he said some [ __ ] like that you. want me to call him and everything do. you know why because I feel like he he's. like I really think he's an amazing. artist yeah and I feel like he would. what he sees as me what what I would do. and I'm probably projecting is I'm just. being carismatic with autotune and I and. I think the two things are so different. you know but the two things are. inherently different so they can't be. compared I suppose that's like saying we. both do amplification of voices to.

microphone we're all different it's a. you're still different yeah yeah but he. he he is he's someone that if you're. good respect he likes I hope so I hope. he doesn't think I'm I'm going to text. him and ask him if he likes you oh God. and he's like give don't [ __ ] with that. guy give no context for it you got some. of yours already I only have two I only. got two as well let's just do two I. can't think of any yeah you can think of. another one fun yeah you're.

sing about the idiots in the booth real. [Music]. fast we got some dummies in the. booth I think they have tiny. penises they support. him one of them has a crazy bald head.

I the ones I have AR probably even. good. all can I ask you a question when you're. on your show and people don't sing you. know sometimes yeah I get upset It's. upsetting to me when I'm watching it. it's like give it a go at least but I'll. tell you what those people who give me. push back and then there's a couple. Clips where we've gotten them to sing.

the the the joy that reverberates in the. room when we get somebody to like kind. of like this exposure therapy to like. sing and come out of their shell and. when you crack somebody when you crack. somebody and they smile and the whole. room smiles and I mean it's and for me. it's exciting you know I was you know I. I I got I was doing stand for like six. years and I was I was doing okay but I. just kind of got bored with it and all. right there wow damn dude that worked I. thought I can't believe I remembered how. to make a paper airplane hello Los. Angeles we are paper.

airplane all the way all the way hello. everybody we are B every all the way. from P. Korea everybody yo can we name our our. first yeah paper airplane is yeah yeah. yeah yeah we are here we go paper. airplane fly fly fly all over the world. paper airplane coming steio girl. yeah really good here we go I have three. and if they.

don't exactly what I thought would. happen this okay if they don't work just. I'll make I'll make it work they'll make. it work 100%. yeah I went to so many Dy. [Music]. parties can we freak. [Music]. off give me that baby. o give me that baby o put it on my.

all right good one it's the next one you. know what I like I like the taste of. children's. toes with those little p in my. mouth put some Diddy oil on. them get it nice and. slippery yeah. this so good finish it take it home.

[Music]. [Laughter]. [Music]. yeah they're combined probably in. those mine are so good. [Music]. yeah yeah Bobby where are you.

[Music]. from Kore. [Laughter]. Ching Hong Kong fried. rice next one next. one does anybody know some dwarves here. does anybody know some dwarves in the. room anybody knows some.

dwarfs because did you know that when. dwarfs. fart they fly just a. little did you know that if you get a. seahorse and you put it with a dwarf you. got ocean. Cowboys little. cowb oh it's so good swiming through the. o. how do dwares touch.

themselves I always think about. that when I see. them oh bro very good very very good. very good did you write the dwarf Cowboy. this little water no that was he added. that mine was the farting yeah the. farting right which I ended it there but. then he added then you also added more. of the ching chong Kong yeah that was. great you got to continue yeah CU ch ch. pong's not good enough you got to say h. fried rice from.

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guys feel like like from this point like. you you've achieved everything you. wanted to no yeah I'm good I'm out I'm I. feel I feel I felt bro I felt good last. year I was everything at this point is. just like extra for me I kind of like. happen you know I think we've always. said like as soon as we could employ and. have fun with our friends that was like. we beat the system yeah we can like work. with like literally everybody in here is. a friend of ours from many years ago. except for one guy that's newer but we.

still love but like that guy is my. oldest friend in Los Angeles like and we. work together I've known him for a very. long time yeah but we our goal was just. if you could work with your friends and. make [ __ ] that was like can we do that. all the time yeah yeah it really is this. year was the first year I started. bringing my like openers and friends. with me and it's it's literally been a. whole let's call Dom though no we. already know cuz I did it with a friend. of mine B and Baza we were like all over. I like B wrot Dave yeah yeah Bam's great. and we we uh we were just kind of all.

over the place and it wasn't editable so. we just I just did I'm going to lie. you're not with me okay okay just watch. this they're old friends so this will no. no watch you are I'm saying I'm old. friends yeah yeah it'll be worth it is. he still mad at you well we'll find out. what up yo dude what's up so it's so. crazy dude I ran into [ __ ] Morgan. J yeah and he was like Yo dude that. [ __ ] dumb made me do his podcast. twice it was [ __ ] [ __ ]. and I'm like no seriously what [ __ ]. happened dude nothing happened man he.

just did it because the he did the first. podcast and it was bad like what the. [ __ ] happened though. dude he's not really a great podcaster. so it just I I just didn't get any good. things so because he was also with my. other comedian homie B biniam yeah and. they were like not riing well so I got. him on again how' he do the second time. I thought he did great the second was. better so I'm glad we did it again yeah.

good good. good yeah do you think we should have. him on our show. Morgan yeah for sure why but really. though why yeah because I've heard bad. things from Whitney stuff you know other. people have said it like that he's not. like he's stiff and he doesn't know how. he doesn't know how to add information. he's a kind of a diva is he a. diva uh no he's not a diva I mean he's. definitely making noise you know but you. know when you look doesn't it not look. like a rat to you like this [ __ ]. teeth and the way his face just comes.

out like a. rat no being I'm being real is Morgan. there or what I'm right here bro there. I'm on the podcast. right I was nervous about having a bad. podcast I [ __ ] knew it you [ __ ]. prick I love you dude we love you you're. the best bro Morgan's good. that's a. perfectan Morgan Morgan's Good's good.

dude no he's real good no because you. even said I mean if you you were like. you you're self aware there are times I. do podcast I'm like that was I was. [ __ ] terrible yeah I even said I was. like I don't know how you guys are going. to edit this together this was crazy. what well uh his first one like this is. there's no. way I've done that where you do them and. you're like dude can we not put that out. do not put that out do not put that out. or you give them a million notes you got. to cut that out cut that out cut if you. were like in a bad place sometimes. during the day you're coming from and. you're like brother I'm not in a good I. shouldn't have done it it's crazy how.

you came right from doing your own. podcast you just like doing podcast do. you have one after this no no no why we. do that [ __ ] all the time this is ex. like I tried to do a podcast but it. wasn't in me I'm more I'm I'm trying to. do the live streaming stuff I'm trying. to be like kaat see I don't want to do. live streaming well I here really we. don't here's the what works for us we. just absolutely do not prepare anything. that's right yeah you you were mad at. this list no we just kind of just show. up and like you know because do it and. sometimes we don't AER it some of us. prepare yeah what do you mean you're we.

have stuff slotted for the show. sometimes better not to prepare that's. right yeah well that was fun like that. little thing we did we didn't know we. were going to do that it depends on it. depends on what show but sometimes we. have to prepare yeah but mean I mean you. must have some guests who you think are. going to be like pulling teeth right no. like a lot of times I'll coordinate with. these guys on bits that we're going to. run on the show but Bobby will Bobby. Bobby is a. um it's like a hidden camera show for. him he's never he's you know what I mean.

like he gets to show up and you're he's. always the [ __ ] bit Yeah but that's. the beauty is that we tee you up to fly. free wonderful do you not know that we. do work behind the scenes I understand. that you do work like here's a video. that we're going to watch but what I'm. just saying in general about like how. we're going to open or the things that. we even said in the first 45 minutes we. didn't plan no we did not none of it. that's right yeah we just kind of ride. the wave and sometimes the wave isn't.

ridable yeah just a swell just a swell. it's a one footer dude yeah it's a one. footer and then sometimes we go we can't. release that footage yeah I get it you. know you can't yeah you can't put out. one footer dude you know can I just say. that you're it's like your eyebrows have. like they're like Hitler mustaches I. just got them done okay right before. this I literally was like I like I like. cleaned myself up but they're like L. literally short are they usually longer. or no I mean if I didn't do anything. it'd be a unibrow for sure theyed you. get them thread them thre yeah I had a. ni nice girl from Bangladesh did him for. me you know about that threading oh yeah.

no we yeah have I prefer that to the uh. kala I used to take her to the threading. place I see you see them do it they. thread it you've never had to trim shout. out beauty secrets on Venice boulev no. on Washington Boulevard beauty secrets. you've never had to do trim your. eyebrows no I've never trimmed anything. except for my mustache oh yeah how often. you do that once a month when I can. taste my hair then I what does it. usually taste like why sometimes I go. wow this pastrami sandwich is rough and. I go oh my little mustache is getting. into the you know what I mean when you. guys have a slice of pizza like do you.

smell it afterwards for a little bit. like the cheese I'm a gerap I wash my. face I just want you to know I know I. sound i' I'm not like a contagious no no. I know Andreas is any is sick anyway he. comes into the studio sick every [ __ ]. week you guys get sick a lot when you. tour no we didn't get sick at all. Australia we didn't get sick no I don't. get sick much I have a good immune. system but he does he does bring his. [ __ ] ass baby and his [ __ ] wife. works in a hospital so this [ __ ]. [ __ ] here every week I'll immediately be. like oh you've been sick and I'll go.

you're sick and then what do you say. every time I go are you sick what do you. say I was I was I'm over it yeah he's. always over it so the day that he gets. healthy is we pod the next day just a. coincidence that he's always just over. it I get it the [ __ ] liar yeah call. him a [ __ ] dirty sick. liar he's a dirty Spaniard liar. yeah you're a dirty [ __ ]. SP you [ __ ]. colonizer [ __ ] you and your colonizing.

friends [ __ ] you f [ __ ] love you. thank you do girls when you're with the. if you're with them do they want like. you're the hotel or whatever do they. want you to turn that [ __ ] on then have. you ever done that sing to a girl when. you're singing Have you ever whipped. that out and sang while you're in the. hotel with no no but I with my guitar. I've sing oh really yeah can you imagine. getting head with you're like oh yeah. one time so I met I I met this girl in.

Cleveland right oh yeah suck those. balls be gentle with those. balls put one in your mouth put the. second one in your mouth and take that. index finger and stick it in. [Applause]. my chicks have to love that [ __ ] though. huh they love it I'm guy they like a. goofy guy yeah n you're a handsome cat. though too how do you how do you break.

that up when you're am I fat like your. brother said no You' been thinking about. that you're not I've been thinking about. the whole time you're down whole time. yeah like your brother said Asian that's. what he said the fat asian gu you're. Stout dude yeah I'm not Stout no he. means you're stocky look at that lift up. your shirt you're not fat you did no you. lost weight bro I mean what's up he's on. OIC I'm not trying to fight you Dude any. let's move on I got Let It Go I let it. go I let it go yeah I let it go yeah. yeah tell them what you told me in in. Australia though what's going to happen.

what's going to happen well I'm going to. get ripped bro do you want to we can go. to a gym sometime together yeah dude. take him it's F you'll see I don't do uh. you know you know what I've been saying. on Australia the whole time Morgan JF I. may yeah okay. yeah it's it's kind this kind of. bullying [ __ ] it's this [ __ ] right here. D it's dude it's no it's this no no he. kep the car in the car he kep going I'm. going to get jacked I'm going to get. jacked I said ripped ripped you can do. it and this guy and this guy cackled. like a hyena in the night dude in my.

face and I you know what I said to him I. kept saying to all these guys you'll see. because I love a challenge you can do it. I love a challenge right yes I what I. believe in you I in the power of like. you can do it bro everyone I don't think. you can get jacked cuz you're 60 or. something so that's what I but I think. you get fit fit is different he said. he's going to get Jack I don't think you. get like ripped Jack whatever you do no. matter how ripped you get it's going to. be like a little bit literally proving. my point a little bit looser Verbatim.

what I said in Australia what he said. verba but you'll be like ripped healthy. yes Health if that makes sense even like. a 50-year-old who's. ripped there it's going to be a little. bring up RFK Jr with the shirt off this. cat is in unbearably good shape and. you'll never get near this and he still. looks kind of fat the rock is do you. know what I mean yeah but the rock is on. Tren or some [ __ ] yeah he's on yeah he's. on so zoom in look look he's in. phenomenal shape you don't think I can. look like that dude but look look at it.

his belly still is like loose cuz we're. not young anymore you're not a kid I. know but I'm still going to look like. that's still Me ri that's ripped to me. yeah he is ripped yeah yeah and I can't. get there there's physiologic there's. just no way you'll ever. get I I love those [ __ ] dude you'll. never be I a grasshopper and I fought it. with my um okay there's far too much. fake sugar in the world. I agree dude take it out I I so everyone. listening to now you heard it first wait.

6 months to a year let's do it and then. we'll see that'll be you you'll end. you'll be like Alex yeah yeah yeah man I. got [ __ ] jacked as. [ __ ] frogs are gay you know some some. some people some women like like that. bill oh [ __ ] yeah dude that's a really. good this is my point women already like. the way he is he pulls beautiful women. so to change is weird the same girls. aren't going to find you attractive. that's somebody said I already told you. I'm [ __ ] corn.

Holio yeah really funny I told you the. wildest [ __ ] about this guy I did I ever. tell you the story you met him this is. my first time here so I've heard no. story no but this did I ever tell this. on this no the wildest story dude this. is a while ago me and Rogan and George. Perez and we're playing in Austin what's. the club why can't I think of it Cap. City yeah the old one yeah and we're. down there and uh the next morning.

George is like you know hey bro we want. to [ __ ] get high as a [ __ ]. and I was like oh yeah absolutely dude. let's get ripped up and like go down by. the ladybird lake or whatever we get. [ __ ] stoned and then Rogan is like uh. meet me at the Four Seasons Hotel we're. going to have we're going to have lunch. okay we're or dinner whatever okay and. he's coming he tells us when we're oh. boy when we're there and I was like oh. [ __ ] Alex Jones is coming to this. [ __ ] thing W are you are is that like. a oh [ __ ] he's coming or is it like I'm. fascinated with this guy like like he's.

not going to talk to me I'm just going. to be near him at a dinner listening to. chaos you know what I mean uh yeah. there's a piece of me that was like this. is a bad idea yeah I don't want to be. [ __ ] photographed with this [ __ ]. lunatic but he's like uh he comes to the. dinner and um dude he show there's like. armed guards everywhere and he sits down. we outside on the patio surrounded by a. bunch of people and he like I said. George and I were [ __ ] baked and. we're just looking at each other because. we're like this is so strange and uh he. brought a girl girlfriend or something. whatever she beautiful I don't remember.

man she's like a woman I don't know but. he's the whole time he's like in the. middle of conversations with Rogan like. deep deep they didn't look at you know. he didn't look away from once and he. would be like yeah that and then you're. the girl this is the girl with with him. he'd be like yeah so Joe that's that's. the thing that's going on is like frogs. are gay that's an emulation of CH. children are gonna be gay like frogs be. hot bumping all and then he and then he. would stop and in the middle of it go. baby baby kissy. kissy no no. so funnye my hand to God baby baby kissy.

kissy oh my God I love it and she give. him a kiss yeah and she she give him a. little kiss and then you go and like I. said two maybe cuz Kissy Kissy means two. yeah K Kissy Kissy yeah yeah yeah yeah. but he wouldn't even skip a beat dude. he'd go right back in right back to. Rogan and be like and that's the thing. if they're licking frogs trying to get. high in the sideon they're also going to. be gay turning you gay and you're G me G. me no my hand of God oh my God meanwhile. George Perez you know we're [ __ ]. cooked so George was I mean so baked. we're dying laughing and I can't look up. like I'm just laugh I'm trying to e Mash. oh my goding because I was losing my.

mind it was so surreal it was like one. of those like I'm in a I'm in like a. [ __ ] curb episode do you know what I. mean I was like does he go licky licky. yeah Su suy baby oh wow that's where. sucky sucky maybe came from sucky yeah. mean that was the weirdest the weirdest. thing was like a aot uh uh what was two. what was sucky sucky. $2 is that 50 years ago 100 years ago is. it still $2 that's from a movie right uh. $2 sucky SU what Chinatown maybe like. inflation's gone upal Jack you think. it's like $80 it was Full Metal Jacket.

right is it $80 sucky sucky now you. think or 100 no it's like. [Laughter]. 140f that was so sincere dude that it. was so funny dude yeah by the way uh uh. I wanted to put this fact out there to. the world because it shocked me when did. when did Picasso die Picasso was it was. like probably in the 60s in 80s in the. 70s in the 70s I was we're close yeah I.

thought for sure it was before that. you're probably thinks you're like van. go van goth van go van goth who the [ __ ]. is Van goth it's van go but he it's. pronounced van goth shut up look it up. how do you can I ask you about art wait. but it's go g u g right it's well it's. dutch it's like can I ask you about art. yeah but we're not bro that's true. that's van G is is Keith Herring good. you know my stance what is no have you. seen the doodler the doodle guy that. guy's better than Keith har that guy's.

really great I [ __ ] with that guy Mr. doodle yeah Mr doodle I [ __ ] with him. the guy Subway he he painted his whole. house in doodles it's crazy bring up Mr. doodle real fast this dude is [ __ ]. incredible Keith Herring was this guy's. incredible this guy is a magician I've. never seen someone so and it's just like. I don't know how it comes out of his. brain it's all freehand and it comes out. perfect look at that wow that's so dope. and he just did that with like paint and. markers and [ __ ] Keith Keith hering. wishes he could do that [ __ ] yeah now. bring up some Herring [ __ ] he's dead. right but the same could be said for. what's his name he did the the the.

canned tomatoes or some [ __ ] Andy. warhall Andy warhall don't ever don't. ever bring his negative light again. these are different these are different. because Andy Warhol Andy Warhol look at. look look look come on bro please dude I. mean he it was about AIDS he was doing. this for AIDS yeah yeah no what no he. just happened to have AIDS no no he got. do it for oh my God I got AIDS I got art. what he wanted to bring. awareness he went and got AIDS just so. he could do the art see that looks like. a doodle looks like a that's a Mr I.

think it's pretty cool dude I think he's. the first guy to do that it's you know. what it is it's got sauce it's got It's. got swag oh it's great I do like it it's. got swag no here here's the problem I. like it but I don't want it okay right. it's fine yeah I [ __ ] with it he was he. was he's talented but also like I don't. know it was it's fine yeah interesting. oh it's no starry night he looks like he. has AIDS right there. yeah terrible Bro Look at that he's like. I got AIDS. any uh oh here we go an aid song yeah I.

have I'm. up I got so much. AIDS you got on this podcast Going H. Hamas. Hamas basat do you like him you know how. I feel about basat he's cool yeah but. again like his [ __ ] isn't like wow he's. just cool this is the problem I fit this. in cool artist like that's cool but I. never go wow I just go that's cool yeah.

but I see that on a that's like at a on. a shirt at. Target yeah yeah that's problem what's. your what's your Korean name uhhuh CH. okay. that's no that's you that was a. Godfather theme you don't know you. know yeah that's good you don't know my. Korean. hung m. yeah do it down that's other thing chos. son goby that's.

[Laughter]. [Music]. his how do you. know yeah from Dum. oh what is your Korean name he'll sing. it s. [Laughter]. [Music]. wow wow how did you get suu I didn't my.

parents did it how did they get it what. does it mean I think it means success. you're coming out of like a republic. what does that mean what does that name. mean it's ISU is my so when you Chinese. people giving each other Wing Wong names. and dingdong names oh did they have it. is there a website that has the. definition that's that's that's the name. of the Virginia Tech shooter oh s s. that's s not W pretty close both suers. yeah yeah some SS SS of [ __ ] by the.

way you remember wingdings that's what. that's what that Texas dude calls uh any. sort of Asian writing that's saw a bunch. of wing dings on the [ __ ] wall dud. bro Korea is crushing it right now I. want to go in what way just culturally. they're just like exporting like that's. you shun is the name who ho o o just H I. don't know hu I how do you not know your. [ __ ] how I don't know how to spell it. they're dancing better they're singing. better they're making fried chicken. better [ __ ] crushing it yo be careful. about that fried chicken [ __ ] well you. know G's taught him how to make fried. chicken that is true that is true black.

gi's taught him how to do that yeah. Korean Fried Chicken is bomb as [ __ ]. yeah bro they're [ __ ] crushing right. now yeah film they're crushing it I mean. look at the that was the biggest problem. with Australia by the way that too many. [ __ ] whites the food was dog [ __ ]. yeah I just I always had Thai food when. I go to these like us too but you run. you kind of run out of cuz even then. you're like all right yeah they that. there's too many whites that is a. worldly knowledge if you've too many. whites Central Court in your country and. not enough others you're [ __ ] your. food is [ __ ] [ __ ] we had more bad.

Pizza wasn't there a comic who was like. if you want to deport all the uh people. out of America you shouldn't be allowed. to eat their food like whoever you. wanted to pour whoever you wanted to. pour you can't eat their their cultural. food they don't have extra crispy um. chicken at the Kentucky Fried Chicken in. austral it's like soggy BR did you get. the Kentucky Fried Chicken in Australia. wasy they said it was really good. quality of the chicken is good but they. don't have extra fried it's got to be. crispy by the way because the best and. and they love KFC. but I think our best still to this day. is Popeyes I think Popeyes [ __ ] the.

hardest I think it's the crispiest that. we that we get in America what's the. best fried chicken you've had in my life. yeah the Dave Chappelle Fried Chicken. the best fried chicken I've ever had was. one one of them was definitely at. Chappelle's wow we had chicken and. waffles at like 1:30 in the morning. after we did CH I couldn't move my neck. and my [ __ ] heart was about to stop. was this at his place I could go I. couldn't go to sleep because I'm dude I. I thought I was going to have a heart. attack that night it was. like he had like a world-renowned chef. after we did our show and the show's. done we close down everyone's you know.

party is over he's like we go have. chicken a waffles and I was like where. he's like right there and we walked into. a room into like a private dining room. and they served us made to order waffles. with homemade butter and syrup poured. was Inc like beautiful fries chick damn. it was gorgeous and then afterwards he. was like let's go dance then it was like. a night start dancing amazing so hanging. out with him was pretty tight Dave. Chappelle is Willie Wonka of Comedy he.

is he is the Dream Maker he makes the. it's it's un it's unbelievable his aiz. told a joke about he's like do you. really not want to hang out you could. you could go home or you could say you. hung out with Dave Chapelle or some [ __ ]. like aiz was like had a joke about how. you yeah he wasn't I don't know no but. he but honestly he is he's like a dreamm. wow where there's guys where you're like. oh is that would that be as fun to hang. out with him with Chappelle he so. generous you could tell you could tell. when you watch him I always said that. the comics that are really great are the. ones you want to hang out with after the. show yeah you know he was like well he.

had a store he's like this beautiful. store in town that has all the Chappelle. gear wow take anything you want he goes. go in there and take anything and we. were like no no we'll get a shirt or a. hat you know and we walked in there and. the people working there were like bag. ready bags were like okay guys throw. everything in a bag that You' like it. was wild man I was like oh this is. you're just you feel like you don't. deserve it yeah where you're like. ashamed a little bit but he's the you. know what I mean I hate to say I'm. jealous I want to do that it was [ __ ]. rat it was rats well we cried yeah we. cried we cried when we with him no I.

don't I'm sober but you know when we. first saw him we said we're going to go. back to the hotel we got in the car and. we him and I both started crying that's. true really yeah because it so cool yeah. cuz he picked us up in his Jeep at the. airport he picked you up yeah we go to. private he drove and he picked you up he. literally was leaning against what's up. man you know and we got in as [ __ ] it. was incredible we he flew Us in his jet. it was incredible and then and then he. met us at the airport and he was like. well there was a driver there that.

somebody had arranged but then he was. also there to say what's up and to say. like good to see you and then we thought. all right we'll leave him alone and he's. like come in my car and then we went in. his car is he like funny like out off. stage he like a chill dude or just chill. guy or is he just like like you know. some you know there's some Comics who. like always kind of on he's not on no no. he he's not on but he but it's funny. yeah he's naturally funny he's just so. like charismatically funny that like the. way he Converses is so he's very. intelligent so the way he frames the.

world is just funny that's so cool he's. the guy dude yeah he's willly Wonka to. me that felt like a day I felt like I. was Charlie that's inspiring I I I think. you know the whole goal of my life right. and the whole this whole Adventure that. I've been on and it's it's been quite an. adventure yeah it's crazy is you know. these tiny moments it's not about like. okay here we go Adventure yeah wait wait. wait let get it out first you get it out. first cuz I like this yeah it's it's. about uh every year if something new.

happens right I think that's more. important than. success like you know like when we were. in um that island and we saw the little. quas and the had a baby quaka coming out. of the belly and then you know I'm. taking a selfie with the quaka and I'm. like this yeah yeah it's a moment that I. never planned it was a surprise. unexpected. adventure yeah and it was um memories. when you build memories I think that's.

what the point of life is I agree and. experiences and it's like you know the. Chappelle thing was that that and I. think Chelle and some of the things we. experienced with quaca quas yeah and. also um riding scooters in the Park yeah. my B yeah 14,000 seats 14,000 sold out. 45,000 in Australia sucking in air. through an [ __ ] yeah in it out yeah. dude that's a memory so Australia that's. the whole point of life I think yeah.

don't you think yeah let me do mine do. the music yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah I. love that beautiful it's beautiful dude. yeah yeah at the Sydney. airport I had to go take a [ __ ] before. our flight Tak a sh and we were in a. rush and I didn't want to be late to the. gate because I had a I had a carry-on. bag and I didn't want there to be no bin. space. so I quickly got up after taking a [ __ ]. a little too fast and leaned forward and.

my penis brushed against the porcelain. of the toilet. seat oh. no your dick getting hard of the being. too big that's the problem you know how. your dick gets a little. bigger that's the you're taking a sh yep. I was engaging my sphincter my dick got. a little thicker I brushed it against. the porcelain stood there for like an. honest minute and. uh now I'm a she now he's a she my kids.

have two moms now yeah at the cut I cut. my penis right off at the Sydney airport. you'll find a little Cheeto and stall 4. Sydney airport he's got a clitter. dick a clitter dick. yeah remember I had a. meltdown do we every day yeah in New. Zealand no going to New Zealand oh yeah. oh my God that was a meltdown you had it.

was pretty bad it was pretty bad it's. farther away than you think it is I. thought they're [ __ ] endless they. wouldn't let me on the to Perth they. wouldn't let me on the plane oh yeah we. went to Perth too no they we almost. didn't let us into the country oh really. because his passport up because um well. not just any dog the greatest dog alive. yeah yeah and so my dog um Snoop Dog did. it yeah Snoop Dog chewed on my passport. Hey cuz give me that pass there's a. couple of pages with bite marks inent. and we were about to go and they're like. n you can't you know what I mean mate.

right and I go what do you mean you. can't come into the country they. wouldn't let him through the the. Biometrics shut so I just sat there. while everyone got on the plane and I. was like I guess and then I started. having a meltdown he was he was arguing. with you were alone did you guys just. leave him there no we had a tour we all. had gotten on the plane yeah he was last. in the line no Carlos no Carlos stayed. with he was yelling Google me yeah. Google me and he was counting down the. minutes until when he was just going to. go back to LA he started yelling five.

really five minutes and then there was. like I embarrass I embarrassed my friend. doing something like that in Vegas you. mown well no no I had meltdown but I was. like trying to use my status to get into. this restaurant uh what restaurant which. one it was just in one of the it was. like the Venetian I forget we just. wanted to get food and there was like it. was like Friday night and I was just. like let's just go here and then it was. all like young girls who were probably. my demographic yeah and uh just like hey. guys I'm on Tik Tok you might have seen. me like you sure you don't want I like. sold this place out like wow you did. that yeah I did that and he goes he goes.

bro that was gross that was gross I know. when you who's your boy my buddy chra we. started comedy he was like that was. gross but then my reps got me in a. reservation at Carbone and he go that. was pretty cool it worked he's like yeah. that was cool yeah anyway sorry to. interrupt you I interrupted you and told. my story no no no but I am the guest so. yeah yeah yeah TR to wet up my story. yeah pretty cool stuff yeah did you end. up a Carbone. you ended up on Air New Zealand yeah but. we ended up we ended up getting in there. well you want to wrap it up then.

sweetheart yeah um let's you know what. let's end this yeah yeah yeah wrap it up. wrap up wrap up the show with a song I'd. like. that time to wrap up the podcast I had a. good time talking with my best friends. yeah Morgan J going to come back again. right maybe maybe y maybe yeah yeah. learned a lot about my friends here.

yeah thank you for being a bad friend. thank you for being a bad. friend great man that's so. [Music]. good wo. yeah. woo yeah.