Ozempic Pukes & Santino's Spooky Birthday | Ep 242 | Bad Friends
Massachusetts teen dies after taking. part in social media one chip challenge. he died from this he ate a whole one. we're only going take a little. bit wow okay all right let's hold on. already it's bad Jules it's me Bobby dad. I heard from be under. grave I like colored too it's a [ __ ]. fortune. [Music]. cookie [ __ ] I swear to God I I dude. this it's the most insulting thing what. does it say it says [ __ ] you [ __ ].
boy ladies and gentlemen. es is not a cat nope it's definitely not. a cat it might be a [ __ ] it might be. but it's not but it's not but it's not. if he's straight like he's telling me or. if he's. by okay if he was by if he was ba by. shut the [ __ ] up man if if he I swear to. [ __ ] God dude get him some milk are. you being real yeah hereat Cheetos fast.
eat Cheetos fast Cheetos eat Cheetos. fast eat Cheetos fast give them the milk. yeah eat all I have more Cheetos Cheetos. fast I think you're going to need this. other diaper scary time. [Music]. USA scary time. [Applause]. USA welcome to scary time to scary. time this episode of bad friends is.
presented and fueled by hule your go-to. for Complete Nutrition try hu with 15%. off today using Code bad friends at. my.u.com. badf friends you two are bad friends are. these two. idiots as you two are. disg you two or something we're bad. friends.
what are you supposed to be grilled. cheese that's what I said you said. cheeseburger no yes you did guys she. said it you're grilled cheese um you. know what I am I'm B on toast I'm B on. toast you know what I am bench on toast. you know who I. am spring roll man spring roll spring. roll right here that's my friend over. there spring roll and what we got where. Samar I'm be on toast that's my friend. samor yeah God damn you're scary Samar.
well cover your face up more yeah yeah. yeah now that looks good yeah nice o or. are you Steve ioke I can't. tell what you doing okay okay that looks. rad are you going to trick or treat you. still trick-or treat don't you yeah it's. always fun are do you trick-or treat. what do you trick or- treat dude I. haven't trick-or treated I don't even. remember the last time we should go is.
it legal yeah for us to trick or treat. I've never seen adults do it let me tell. you something we can only treat no. tricking out of you bud oh I love you. can't be tricking in them streets only. treats only treat um so uh. ding ding on to here we go with be on. to honestly when you do this I do. it we're you know who we're fans of. Arsenal Football Club with the gooners. yeah ding D B on to oh my God you're on.
fire today love it I love it honestly. yeah best costume I've ever had this. Rivals when I was a kid I was um I was. uh what is it little or wait no no no. Andy me an no Andy Andy and Raggedy an. and Andy look up that my mom made me. wear this one time you didn't choose. that your parents did my mother put me. as Raggedy Andy from raggedy an and Andy.
he he didn't need to do much me me and. what did you just say yeah what did you. say man you think I got a triangle nose. is that what you're trying to say dude I. got a big red triangle nose you know who. these two guys are you know who they are. I know it is who let me guess wait let. her guess I get a guess too yeah who do. you think fancy and Carlos are what. um can I have Clues yeah they're wearing. the costume well I I that's the clue I I. think Andreas is a city por.
you know I mean like a poor got off that. planet yeah yeah yeah yeah and then got. a job in the. city do you not know you not know who. they are dude this is such a great. opportunity what are they Burton Ernie. that's. right because they're gay well that. laugh dude pretty close no dude they're. the Menendez brothers oh they are oh. yeah oh wow they're good is it Lyall and. Eric who's which one's which Eric's a. handsome One Eric is the handsome one so.
neither of you so you're both Lyall I'm. just two Ls and then um Mone is Hannibal. Lector I don't know I know what are you. doing I just wanted to M muffle her well. you what to do what you want to do all. these years you still can't get a joke. out I want a to F get it out idiot what. is it muffle him muffle him I want to. him he's Hannibal Lector he look that. looks actually red stand up on the box. real fast so we can see the.
wow wow young very cool yeah don't. wink dude that is such a creepy costume. I like that a lot pretty good where' you. get the mask at Amazon okay well you. bought it for him yeah he asked you. where did you get the mask from Easy. opportunity for a joke he goes right to. Amazon yeah yeah don't do it so literal. where'd you get the mask from let's do. it again yeah let's try to get another. joke out right yeah where'd you get the. mask from.
uh your mom's house the podcast Network. yeah the girl had it no your mom's house. in Phoenix oh that's an interesting. approach yeah I don't know if that's. going to work for you bud yeah that's. not going to work that made me mad I've. been to her house text with her it makes. sense where'd you get the mask. at try it again oh down in Essex where. you live Mr beans on. toast I see why these guys aren't comedy.
writers that's really good Jesus Christ. holy [ __ ]. the he's spring roll jelly rolls a. second cousin yeah spring roll spring. roll what's his famous song what's the. one he sings jelly roll why can't I I. did I did do a show with him I a show I. mean I was on a show that he was on and. what a nice guy Kelly what's the name of. the song can we hear. it save me that's the one save me is. really famous right I know I want to.
hear it yeah you want to hear it just. for a second I know what you're going to. do can I can I take your instincts no. yeah let me guess your comedy instincts. right now. no yeah no I know okay go do it play it. let's seeit play it someone who save me. damn it save me from. my damn it you beat me you beat me you. beat me I was waiting to catch you off.
guard yeah yeah oh that's that was. really good that worked yeah that was. really. good [ __ ] dude you beat me to the come. on spring roll let me hear you save me I. don't even know what the song is someone. help have someone save me save me from. myself have someone save me save me from. my SE okay very good really good yeah oh. can I just tell you what ladies and. gentlemen spring roll save me from my I. got to tell you what's going on with me. okay what what we what what's WR happy.
birthday by the way I love you thank you. so much what are you going to tell me I. just what's going on what's why am I why. I am I want to hear it but can I also. clear the air with something else okay. to the boys what's and you what Bobby. sent me the nicest text I've ever gotten. on my birthday wow the nicest text I've. ever gotten on my. birthday the nicest read it you want me. to read it to everybody yeah I I'm going. to read it all. right all right I'm going to tell you. why I sent that okay. I after to read it okay here we.
go by the. way people still think I gave you a. quarter million dollar CH I know every. yeah are people the dumbest people on. Earth are you guys all dumb great no I. love our fans what are we talking about. do you guys really think I gave him a. [ __ ] what are you talking about all. right here we. go don't do that don't do Sor all right. I apologize happy birthday Andrew I just. want to say you're one of my fav. favorite people I've ever met you're not.
only a friend but family to me you've. been by my side during my toughest. moments and I'll never forget it that. being said No Object can hold more value. than my heartfelt words and therefore. I've gone with a non-materialistic. approach to your gift this year end. quotes your gift is coming I love you. and happy birthday brother and I wrote. back who wrote. this I and I I I wrote I love you so. much I did took me it took me an hour I. appreciate your I knew it took you a. long time cuz it was really good I. appreciate your friendship more than I. can okay you're my family forever and.
then we texted a little and then he sent. a picture of uh throw up vomit okay I'm. going to tell V right after a hard I'm. going to tell you about what's going on. for me okay what are you doing what is. going on you're taking OIC for no no can. we just go but let's rewind okay go. ahead okay can I rewind a little bit. okay first of all I have a couple of. great announcements to. make thought I thought I I thought I. think the Penguin's the one of the best. shows I've ever seen you do have you. seen it four episode.
was very good okay don't tell him don't. give it I haven't seen it yet I've been. watching very good Great British B have. you seen it not yet okay that's a great. one too I'm on my gbb dude me too dude D. welcome to the Great British faking show. it's me be on toast today you're going. to be cooking a profiller with a little. bit of. filling all right so that was good sorry. I do love the show yeah I love it it's. such a good show okay when that guy got. the handshake I almost cried I cried too.
it was UN he was he was in shock it so. emotional yeah it was it was the go Jang. the go Jang biscuit biscuits and he goes. I've never tasted anything this before. yeah yeah yeah and he also like rolled. them up like like they're perfectly. formed they were perfectly formed yeah. he he goes you'll sell a million of. those he should yeah yeah can we get. Paul Hollywood on this show probably not. or PR anyway but you think penguin. number one a great show so far I need to. watch it yeah Colin Ferell and and no. no don't throw up are you going to throw.
up my God I mentioned KY of Ferrell he. throws up cuz I I want to suck his dick. so bad my mouth gets Lube is that good. of an actor oh bye oh my God all right. so it's going to be a tough episode it's. going to be great are you going to throw. up again please don't throw Halloween. I'm going to Yak if you it's Halloween. please don't do it spooky stuff what. spooky stuff if you throw up I'll throw. up I'm serious don't throw up please. don't throw up I I I okay I'm already.
getting moist mouth. anyway what that oh the. ramulus oh no let's go back to the. penguin sorry are these. announcements yeah I'm going yeah yeah. all right well let me just do it okay. yeah yeah whatever but the real star of. the character is Sophia Falcone is the. you you fall in love with this character. Sophia Falone the name is incredible. yeah this woman I mean oh I love her she. kills it she's from um.
how your mother how my mother no no what. did I see her there's something else. she's in that Palm Springs time travel. movie yes yeah I like that there was. also in. 30 oh yeah Kristen Kristen Mady yeah she. kills it she's [ __ ] awesome but she. her character is so anyway let's go back. to okay so then um alien ramulus was. pretty good too anyway let's go back to. what was going on oh yeah so um I'll get. to the vomit in a second can't wait okay. but um so then you you know what. happened so I was in. for the last 10 days I've been in Canada.
in the woods yeah in 3 hours north of. Toronto M and I was Bamboozled into. doing something a favor for a friend. okay which is um an. extreme camping thing but you can't talk. about I can't talk yeah because it was. like one of the most miserable human. experiences of my life I didn't eat I. didn't sleep I was frozen solid wet all. the time it kept raining the food it was. just [ __ ] terrible damn and I learned.
how to make traps I learned how to make. a tent what's so funny that's cool no. what kind of traps squirrel traps what. what kind for what for food no [ __ ]. traps oh no no no oh nice yeah no no. just laid money out all over the place. no no like I put like well they put this. like granola like you take the wood you. take a piece of um a rock yo what. there's no way you know how to do that I. learned how to do it I know but you. forgot it already I know but I did a. different thing. what I made it my own okay I took the.
granola out yeah I put candy corn you. just ate the granola so I can so I can. trap. dwarves you to catch a Brad Williams. yeah yeah yeah so I thought I think you. if you switch them out you can catch a. dwar that's smart yeah yeah so anyway I. that would be so funny to watch Bobby. setting up a trap in the woods and. they're like where's all the granola he. just ate all the granola out of the. traps yeah yeah what happened oh so and. then um so I I didn't sleep for like 10. days Jesus I you know I was in the I got. in a fight with with um somebody all.
every I don't tell I don't give a [ __ ]. Robert Kelly you know I mean Jim was the. Norton was the only one I didn't get. fight with Yaman I fought with I fought. with the produc producer the director it. was bad wow and so then last night I. um raced to Toronto to get on the flight. flew here and then my OIC was ready but. so I deci what they got to cook it up. like meth what do you mean it's ready. yeah they put in a fryer.
de fried they de fried you have deep. fried. o yeah so so what happened was um come. get your old zic baby yeah yeah so what. how was the pharmacy was ready for it so. I went in my mind it was the dumbest. move I've ever made I go I'm just going. to Gorge now you're going to eat as much. as you can right now right and then so I. ate a lot like a burrito and Taquito. potato T Taquito yeah oh my God I just. just taste like right here don't do it.
okay don't my God sorry happy Halloween. happy Halloween everybody okay so then I. I put in ziping in but I hadn't digested. all the food M but I haven't also slept. in week so I go I'm going to sleep but. while I was. sleeping I tasted um what I'm tasting. now which is potato T taquitos mhm right. yeah and I was laying on my back and I.
went you know like you know I know we. know alien ramula let's go back to alien. ramulus right you know when the [ __ ]. punctures no you know he is better you. know how the Androids in Alien R ramulus. when they get punctured that little. white fluid comes out of their. mouth. Yes I'm saying yes so we can move. on I have no. ideaa you feel it you taste it in your. mouth yeah so I was like and I just.
literally and and ask anyone I don't. have to ask anyone I don't know who you. would ask ask them all ask everybody. okay I've never vomited has he ever. vomited I've never seen no one's ever. seen me vomit wow cuz I don't do it I. diarrhea all the time yeah that's my. thing that's your thing yeah I go the. other end yeah the other end I'm Pro. this this is closed closed off that. thing's wide open yeah wide. open so then um then I raced over here. and and it's like so I don't know wait a. minute you know you can't eat a full.
burritos and then go to bed too that's. also bad outside of OIC you're not. supposed to like eat and then go to. sleep that is double failure Right. double failure yeah so are how many are. you on a do like a regimented dose now. of OIC yeah you're taking it yeah why. did you do this well do you want to hear. the story yeah that's why I asked you it. was something that I was going to keep a. secret let it out okay I was with a. woman we have to go.
on we're making. out first. base then she. stopped yeah yeah yeah oh no her body. her choice all right yeah yeah her. choice her body her choice her body her. choice her body her choice right her. body her choice and then she looked and. she goes I just I'm not attracted to you. yep and she goes you're fat you're fat. no no that's boo she called you and I go.
oh she didn't realize until that moment. okay damn Lyle for ly are you like a. character right now yeah that was [ __ ]. the Menendez killers are hard dude dude. dude I swear to god dude that was good. that was good I'm going to let you have. that one you know and I'll tell you why. I liked it it came out smoothly yeah. finally yeah the delivery was perfect he. didn't miss a beat yeah you didn't miss. a beat and it I'll tell you another. thing yeah it hurt bad yeah it hurt real.
bad so wait a minute did you have did. you insult her if she said you're fat. did you insult her back no I go oh well. doing okay no you got to take a shot. back at her and then um like what I. don't know I don't I don't I have to see. her your beautiful face no oh yeah. that's not good right not going to do it. no I you know I just kind of. contemplated and I went oh I think I. have to lose weight because a woman. called you fat I've been also seeing it. a feeling it like you know what I mean. like you like when I photos of me on.
stage yeah you know what I mean it just. doesn't look right to me well we. Photoshop those we make you look fatter. and those on purpose you know like all. the ones that you try to put on then I. go you got to take that off you know. it's been an issue for like a year. because I'm like I don't like the way I. look a. year see you L again she didn't realize. it until then. yeah it hurts H it's again thank you. wait a minute what you're you're. beautiful just the way you are shut up. no you aren't I'm done but I also don't. want oh Z is bad it's not bad yeah it is.
cuz you're going to get off and it they. say as soon as you get off it's Bad News. Bears I'm not going to get off it you. stand up for life I don't know dude I. don't know what else to do but you're. not even fat fat thank you you're not. fat you look good you do look she didn't. that's not what she said who the who the. [ __ ] is she she has eyeballs we have. eyeballs yeah yeah but your eyeballs are. um it come your eyeballs come with an. already a um a feeling that's right. right yeah because I I want to because I.
feel people I don't you don't just judge. based on one thing no but we have. history and there's a relationship that. goes beyond a non she need has nothing. to do with looks maybe she needs to. create that with you right but she. didn't well well then so why listen to. her she was the only one that complain. what about the other girls that's. exactly right there's other girls that. have said like um you could lose some. weight you know she said you could lose. some weight she was calling her doctor. to see if she can get me OIC that like. this is 6 months ago Rush OIC yeah she's. like I'm going to call my doctors oh. yeah to get you it now wow and I was.
like oh are there people selling the Oz. on the streets huh it's hard to get that. they're running out of it I'm just dude. 10 days of survival you know I mean and. then you made it this you know what I. mean because we're going to Australia. and New Zealand and but we have 10 days. before Singapore we're not I'm not doing. anything between yeah I'm going to rest. my body well or exercise whatever. whatever you mean but um anyway that's.
what so that's why I don't like that. somebody called you fat because it hurt. your feelings obviously why don't you. call someone in this room fat to make it. fair I mean I mean but really hit him. really hit him hit really hit yeah hit. him hard dude yeah it's like when you. take. marshmallow and you over microwave it. where it bubbles you know what I mean. yeah yeah delicious what delicious yeah. but you that's not a human body you're.
going to I was watching The Great. British baking show yeah I'm sorry that. wasn't even it wasn't even funny what I. did it was funny cut it out you know. that was so mean I'm watching The Great. British baking show you know when. they're like they needing the bread and. then they put it in the proofing drawer. it has to proof and Rise you know the. guy opened the drawer I'm not kidding as. it proofed I saw the show and Rose and I. I pointed and I go Andre yeah there's. fancy yeah my little proofing drawer. better slam is that a better slam way. better yeah but you know what the funny.
thing is is that I I mean that's the. only thing that I can get you with is. your pork tits everything else is. Perfect's a beautiful wife and a. beautiful daughter yeah you have yeah. you have your whole you have a great. life and it's been a pleasure working. with you and you're a talented director. and I don't think we'd be able to do the. show without. you oh [ __ ] oh my. [Laughter]. God rocket. money rocket money I'm I'm going to say. this okay rocket money has saved me so.
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for our listeners try blue true free. when you use our promo code bad friends. at checkout just pay $5 shipping that's. blue.com promo code bad friends to. receive your first month for free visit. blue.com for more details and important. safety information and we thank blue for. sponsoring the podcast I read a book. about um a Korean. boy and he was living in. Minnesota oh god what happened what's. going on you read this book I feel like. it sounds.
familiar yeah is this and he's yeah he's. walking toward the. field because during this during the. winters this a John Carpenter book it is. yeah yeah I remember during the winters. you know what I mean it's like a snowy. snowy field it's it's ice G rank I see. it there's a Zamboni and a shed there's. a Zamboni out in a field no but there's. a gigantic shed that a Zamboni is that. that they put it and during the day. during the Summers a man who has mental. disabilities MH you know what I mean is.
taking care like mowing the Lawns during. the summer right and taking care of. zambon in the field yeah and he has. candy in his in this shed how much what. kind a lot good the good kind the good. kind yeah dip and dips dip and dips yeah. yeah so no dots just dips just di just. the dipstick. dipsticks yeah later I found out was was. penis. but but um yeah it was a great book. great book yeah yeah oh my gosh happy. birthday to.
you happy birthday to you birthdayy. birthday dear. Tito happy birthday to you you're not. wearing any underwear Mone it's hot. okay the smoke alarm's going to go off. yeah yeah yeah mean it's okay no no let. him try happy birthday to thank you yeah. happy birthday to.
you happy birthday. dear Happy Birthday to you. yeah thank. you smells like barbecue 41. huh how's it feel you don't want to get. kidnapped do. you this is this is awesome this is a. Rudy cake yeah is this you guys put this.
knife in there this came like this. that's so is it a highend cake yes wa we. only get do you get photos of this great. so dope what does it say down there. happy birthday Santino oh that's amazing. can we eat this yes yeah wow. W probably a couple bites yeah well you. got to cut it up or something is this. gutsy yeah o gutsy. thanks B this cake goes well with your.
s. wow thank you guys okay you're so funny. today you're on. fire. wow wow what a nice shirt dude for. golfing that's a great shirt.
dude wow that's a great shirt who did. this you did this WOW amazing that is so. nice it's a nice shirt that is so nice. what a dope shirt that is dope do you. guys have the uh receipt yes okay thank. you what did you guys this is awesome I. forgot what you get. me what no I no I'm not mad we got you. the cool butterfly cake yeah yeah yeah. yeah no I'm not mad I'm not mad that was. dope no I'm not mad it's probably my.
behavior no no no let's get no I'm not. mad it's probably my behavior no one. said you were okay so let me just get. this out of the out in the open I'm not. mad okay um yeah I know enjoy your cake. I you so I got nothing but it's fine. right I wasn't here it's fine it's fine. I remember not being and it's something. it's okay but it's probably something. that I've done wrong. wow is really cool it really it really. hurts my feelings. why you laughing Rudy got you a lot of.
cool things for your birthday remember. the astray [ __ ] don't cut my cake all. I'm sorry Rudy come here get a big. piece I mean how is this this you what a. great cake thank you guys that's a big. piece happy Halloween happy happy. Halloween happy Halloween can we talk. about our favorite horror movies ooh yes. what would be yours my favorite horror. movie of all time is White.
Chicks yeah pretty scary. o what's your favorite horror movie well. I said for years hereditary but. um I think the best movie is uh Let the. Right One In Let the Right One In shut. the [ __ ] up you even know what I'm. saying why do you say like that let the. right right one why are you singing like. that you saw it that's a movie you saw. it now that what's it about I'll tell.
you exactly what have you ever seen Let. the Right One. In yeah you've seen it yeah it's so good. what's it about what's it about it's. about um a white person o That's yes. that is true it is about a white yeah. yeah and he only lets the right ones in. right so he's a bouncer at a nightclub. yeah and a guy comes up and he's like. sir no baseball hats no jean shorts you. know and he that's what happens it's. it's a bouncer at a nightclub no I.
thought it was about a Southern Country. Club it's a southern it's a bouncer at a. Southern Country Club Country Club in. the 1960s yeah he's a bouncer at a. country club yeah and it's like nah nah. he says that a lot nah n and then what. we we we have our own. clubs yeah what do you. mean no what do. you that's what that's what the movie is. about and so he has to choose which one. he lets in yeah yeah and he lets the. right come on man no no we let go no.
baseball hats pal okay all right sorry. there's a dress code that's not what. it's about there's a dress code yeah. what is it. about. what real or. joking either way at this point at this. point yeah um well. the Jesus are you going to puke no I'm. fine okay but. um it's considered if you look up the. scariest the best vampire movies of all.
time it's probably either one or two in. every list better than Dracula yeah. better than Dracula probably in the one. or two if you say the greatest vampire. movies probably top three type in. greatest vampire movie of all time so. it's from Dust Till Dawn Interview with. the Vampire Dracula that's the list no. no that's. just go down to like Mojo or like any of. the lists like they have a list IGN yeah. that do that then okay and go to top.
three okay 25 best vampire movies of all. time M all right number one or 20 no. that's 25 no no Fatu yeah that's great. go to. two thirst go to. one Bram Stoker Dracula what did I say. go to four Dracula go to. four number one. Dracula Afflicted five [ __ ] six you're. dark yeah oh yeah there it is Let the. Right One In so sixth top six not even.
top five okay and mine was number one. Dracula number one yeah I but I would I. I would in my opinion this is better. than Dracula thank you so much no chance. Bram. Stoker what. what yeah Bram Stoker this movie Bram. two words pal Bram. Stoker go down look at him right hey bud. Bram.
Stoker is that will frell. yeah it's the same character that he was. in in no Francis Ford Copa did that come. on yeah it's a Copa movie yeah it's the. best yeah I mean it's probably the. second best megalopa is number. one no um so can I tell you what what. the little one r one is about yeah it's. a young Swedish boy okay in the 19. probably 70s probably early ' 80s seems. like the 70s fron yes little Swedish boy. yeah and you can tell he's a single mom.
you can tell that he's been bullied. people have a picked on. me Oscar you're on fire today I get the. pick on today I'm so glad so um so he's. being picked on stop yeah yes stop and. he goes outside and what he does he has. no friends I don't have any prins yeah. yeah that now I'm you yeah yeah just. little Swedish boy don't have any. friends so he's at night he St he stands. outside and he takes that little knife I.
will stand outside with little knife. yeah and he stabs a tree I killed the. tree and he as if he's fighting back the. bullies oh wow yeah but at the same time. he sees that there's somebody moving in. to an an. apartment and he sees an old man and a. little girl move into apartment and then. he looks up and he it's at night and he. sees the old man put uh cardboard on the. windows the No Light gets in. and then a couple of nights later.
cardboard so know what light gets in. cardboard would light would still get. through like newspaper cardboard there's. layers newspaper wouldn't do it either. yeah if you do a layers though a couple. layers of dutin maybe some blackout I. mean it's really tough blackout light. completely is really hard I've been. trying it for years you're on fire today. well I kidnapped this your instincts. every Instinct dude is the right. Instinct wow so tell me I am telling you. but then you but you're but here's what. I why I don't want to tell you because. I'm doing comedy stuff no no not just.
comedy stuff right because I'm telling. you I didn't control was I the set. designer for the [ __ ] movie I wish. you were I know but I didn't raise my. head dude we should get we should get. [ __ ] light blockers I didn't know. what's it called what light blockers. yeah whatever you know what I mean. that's why they wouldn't hire me you. know what I mean you think this is one. of the best vampire movies of all I'm. not done with the [ __ ] description of. the [ __ ] movie guy all right so any. what this guy's putting cardboard up in. the windows to block out the light right.
then then the next night the kid's out. there and Oscar yeah and he looks and. there's like a there's like a jungle. Jimmy kind of area oh wow and he looks. and there's a there's the girl on top of. the Jungle Gym Barefoot right you know. what I mean and they start talking she's. just on the top yeah she's on top wow. right and then um they form a. relationship you I mean they become. friends how old like we're talking 10 8. to 10 yeah and formable years and then.
she tells him. um that's when I started having crushes. 8 to 10 formidable. years I'm just saying I I know but when. when you're on fire like this and I'm. not I like it you're cruising yeah I'm. cruising for a bruising do you remember. when you were like 8 to 10 when then. there was like that's that's when there. was one girl in class who had boobs do. you remember that do you remember her.
name dude do you remember her name. there's always one girl by like I saw it. in yeah when you're like in fifth grade. I was play in my fifth grade I played. Huckleberry Finn who had the boobs no I. didn't know her name you don't know her. name but I walked into a room that I. wasn't supposed to walk in and one girl. had her shirt off cuz she was changing. uhhuh you're right and I saw them right. and magnif it was you I at the time my. friend was that where the the Italian.
hey it was like I I just it was like a. spiritual awakening wow you know it was. like I never seen boobs before live live. for my mom's right the yellow shriveled. up pieces of [ __ ] boob he had you know. what I. mean anyway um custard used to come out. of. that anyway no they're beautiful boobs. Mom I love you Mom but um yeah so when I. I remember when's the first time you saw. boobs. the first time I saw a a nice nice set.
of boobs well I'm just saying the first. girl when we were in like fifth grade. that had boobs that's what I mean that. story reminded me I remember when girls. started to get boobs and I thought whoa. what do you mean they just keep going. huh whoa gnarly whoa intense I wonder. what they look like the first time I saw. boobs in real life 26 27 wow wow wow 27. 28 oh wow Le Bloomer I remember my first. pube do you yeah dude and I celebrated. did you w. it was I howled into the night cuz it.
was I was 17 yeah and everyone had. already had done it in their 15 everyone. already had them so I thought I would. had a like a mutation or there was. genetically something wrong with me you. still don't have a lot of pubes you're. pretty you're pretty yeah you're not. when I had the one I was I it was it was. I celebrated and they kept growing in I. was so happy how stoked were you I was. so stoked had some fuzz down there. remember the first time [ __ ] came out. yeah you do kind of what do you mean.
kind of I I've never told you the story. about the when I um when I was. uh I used to love watching Beverly Hills. Cop yeah that much I loved that movie. and then there was a there was a song in. it the heat is. on the street. okay I know the song I've seen the movie. yeah when I first started wanking sge. that song. killed that. movie yeah with Bronson pincho yeah I.
mean when I first started jerking off. that song was in my head okay the heat. is. on I swear to. God and when I would. come. yeah can you feel it I swear to God my. song was and so now pavlovian if you. play that song now boom I'll come. everywhere it's it's close to yours.
Eddie. Murphy my girl likes to party all the. time Party All the Time party all the. time you don't know these songs do you. no are you are we going to trick or. treat this year let's do it I would love. to yeah remember when we used to throw. eggs at houses when we trick-or treated. did you ever do that yeah were you a bad. boy San die I teepe and egg my own. house I was too afraid to like get in. trouble yeah so I just did my own house. and I had to clean it the next day dad. would come outside make you clean it. yeah he let me I told him I was going to.
do it you egged your own house yeah but. you have to clean next day so I cleaned. it my brother and I Steve cleaned it. next day um here's another thing just. has nothing to do with Halloween that. I've been obsessed with on the YouTube. what is um so there's this lady she's. like a classically trained woman she has. an accent I think she's from like some. Village somewhere but she's a. classically trained um and she's never. listened to rock and roll before and oh. they play her the song for the first. time so she'll she'll she'll play she'll.
like go okay today I'm going to a song. by a band called Queen right right. bohemio raps CID and she plays and she. listens to it and it's so interesting to. see her that's her virgin Rock I mean. that's her and then she like she played. Paranoid Android by radio head wow yeah. and it's really interesting her. reactions to you know what I mean like. listening to rock and roll for the very. first time now what's wrong with her. that she hasn't heard any of this stuff.
is this because she's just not it just. she hated 9in Nails all didn't like. closer yeah she's it's ugly she goes. it's sexual but not in a good way it's. it's a no it's gorgeous I know it's like. I want to penetrate you I want to. complicate. you yeah I want to violate you oh it's. such a good song tul Sober yeah great. song I mean she. it's just interesting to hear her even. Simon and girl she had never heard of.
how how I know that I I I can't you know. I I don't even know yeah we believe it. she listen to um. um well we can't hear any of them no we. can't do no but I'm just saying it's. just an interesting um no that is really. cool yeah to see you know someone's real. reaction to it wow and by by the way. only 19,000 views so you're you're. you're getting in this Niche this is oh. I'm Niche guy on oh my God things oh my. God can I tell you what happen yeah. about Niche yeah giving Niche all right.
so the first night we were at this. camping trip mhm we were not actually. camping we're at a restaurant for the. first night was eating. yeah and yam Mona black female comic one. of the funniest people on planet Earth. oh yeah in New York you know right. yeah and she was talking about. algorithms so that I told about me and. Carlos's athm is that her. cousin very. funny and then I I very funny thanks. very good and I go I go well and I.
showed her like a video that I would. watch and it was like an African man. eating a monkey yeah and she saw it. that's not in her. [Laughter]. algorithm you showed her a video of an. African man eating a mon started crying. yeah what at the table she got mad at. you because you showed her a video of a. man eating a monkey yeah why would you. show her that I was giving her an.
example of don't my algorithms oh okay I. shouldn't eat this can you take this. away yeah please please please before it. now the vomits cakey did you got into a. big fight with her not only. that she refused to eat. dinner because of the monkey eating. video yeah I couldn't believe it well. yeah and then Bobby Kelly I don't know. why he would do this he just got found. monkey noises no yeah like 20 minutes.
later just playing them and he just. played it right just. randomly right and then me and Jim and. Robert Kelly laughed to the point where. we had to leave cuz we're in a room yeah. we had to leave the room and we were in. this hallway side you know what I mean. and she's just sitting there you know. what I mean pissed yeah but then we. we're laughing so hard like. uncontrollably where I couldn't breathe. like we could not not Brea right even. Norton is she still mad at you no then.
she starts laughing no and that's how. that breaks it up that breaks it up that. breaks it up when as long as you go far. enough there that she laughs to bring it. back draft King sports book the NBA is. finally back finally back you know I. love it I'm excited I'm taking you a. Laker game uh a new season means new. ways to get into the action at draftking. sports book and official sports betting. partner of the NBA who's draining threes. from Beyond The Ark Bob do you know oh. yeah oh yeah who is it Carl Whitaker. Carl Whitaker who's crashing the boards.
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New York call 8778 Hope NY or text heny. 467 369 in Connecticut help is available. for problem gambling call. 8887895118 Adam and Eve Hey listen. what's. that oh that's um somebody walking.
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how golly how like my grandpa from the. Philippines here we go yeah here we go. we know all the tidbits about Tik Tok. Philipp wait your grandfather watches. porn on Tik Tok yeah that's what my mom. says like oh he's watching porn again in. the in on Tik Tok can you not just watch. it on regular internet he likes Tik Tok. yeah he likes Tik Tok you can watch porn. on Tik Tok I don't think so I think you. can do it on Twitter Twitter has porn. stuff yeah I'll tell you what it's. incredible by the way here I was in my. hotel in like Kentucky or Indiana or.
whatever do you know about this yeah. tell me about this thing a lot of these. states they block porn you can't watch. it like you go if you go to Pornhub they. block it you have to you have to do look. it up you have to do like VPN VPN yeah. yeah but if I didn't have a VPN on my. new phone so you have to log in and. register PornHub is blocked in Texas all. these places are they they want but not. all Sites almost all of them no I mean I. got sites well I called I called Greg.
fit Simmons and he told me the ones to. he was like I got the side on yeah yeah. I have the sites yeah the webcam still. work yeah but look Texas Missouri. Arkansas Louisiana Mississippi Virginia. North Carolina and Utah they blocked. PornHub they want you to log in with. your. information so you can watch porn yeah. they do that now here there's a whole. new security cheick in even California. no I can watch turn on PornHub right now. not not in the sites that I have I have. to go through like a some I have to go. through five processes to even get on. now we got to log in you got to do like.
a retinal scan to get in I have to do a. face scan and then what thumb prints you. have to do a thumb print yeah yeah yeah. yeah all that Bobby Lee welcome back for. the seventh time. today good but just a side note too so. um we were three hours North in Canada. and you know there The Producers Bas. Camp was at a college this remote. College in the woods a college in the. woods is so hot and it was late at night. and there was there was a security guard.
and he came down and with bad friends. t-shirts and. he I had never seen a man so shocked and. happy to see you to see me how cute yeah. it was just really um Bobby a I can't. believe you're here bud yeah it was all. the way in the woods with us at our. College yeah it was like that it was. cool I signed everything now people ask. you Hey where's Andrew yeah all the time.
they ask me where's Bobby every as if. like you're where I go yeah oh he's. right there no and the guy in Cleveland. hey man hey man yeah big fan thanks man. where where's Bobby yeah I don't know. man we're two different guys I know we. have I don't know where you are you know. what's so funny I do know where you are. pretty much all the. time what's going on they ready anyway. so um we have a guest oh we have a. special guest it's a guy that um I've. done his show have you done his inter I.
did his show I did I did the new show I. did the old show well let's see gobon oh. wow. wow show him where to go M yeah yeah. John gobl go here dude wow wow John John. Woo give him a round of appla John. goon wow wow what's up John W hello hi. wow yeah what okay. uh everyone looks a little different.
than I remember yeah yeah yeah why is it. like who am I John you think it's. Halloween who are you yeah yeah yeah. like I'm dressed as. somebody oh uh okay uh you're a jug. without the makeup oh good very try very. very close uh you you you you've. disappointed your parents yeah yeah very. good yeah good yeah yeah yeah yeah uh. are you talking about me or the.
character I'm playing cuz that's those. are both true seems like it's both true. yeah you're Bobby Lee who just got a. tattoo correct yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah. go J wow very. good what just he's on OIC yeah OIC. burps this is the Oz kicking in. baby and then what about her what do you. think she. is a lot of Moret yes yes very good very. good very good I got one all right you.
got one dude and what am I yeah. oh okay hold uh white bread. and I mean kind of like kind of look. like a a a golf. caddy yeah yeah yeah yeah okay yeah yeah. yeah that's it good a golf caddy that's. it for a Wonderbread tournament that's. it that's it joh goon everybody now your. fingers are very long. John yeah thank you yeah I'm worried. about popping this I don't want to get.
too excited sometimes I get nervous and. I grip it but I didn't know you guys had. these are what I have in my my home oh I. see yeah this is kind of are are the. other limbs that long or of the other. limbs do you have long toes he's saying. do you have long toes oh yeah I mean. these are these are n and a half yeah so. that's not bad I think that's pretty. average it's bigger than you yeah I'm. nine yeah he's a half size bigger what. that speaks volumes does how are your.
other limbs Bobby my limbs are. um. well they're fine well he's on OIC yeah. I was say they're I mean no I I I froze. up there for a second yeah you did yeah. that was the OIC no that's not the OIC. um what I want to say is um just let me. give give me that ask me. again what what are your hey Bobby yeah. what are your other limbs like they're. fine. oh no good he he did a retake to go with.
fine I like that let's go with take two. take two yeah let's go take two how. about one more one more one more one. more just just one hey B proportional to. my. body that's what I want wanted to say. yeah I froze up proportional to my body. in your guests on your show who's the. biggest guest you've ever had Mr podcast. Andrew. Sano yeah thank you John thank you John. yeah who's the second uh probably a DJ.
you know you had some DJs yeah you so. you've had what Dylan Francis on yeah. that was him he had Dyan Francis on his. favorite instrument yeah the. laptop that's what he does DJ pressing a. button but I had Bobby on yeah and I I. I'm glad I'm here you know I'm glad uh. me being a goblin my culture could be. all of your comedy on Halloween sorry um. but I'm happy I'm here because I want to. clear the air okay you came on my.
podcast broke my set flipped the table. kicked over by Southwestern egg rolls. that's right and we kind of left on a. sour note I think the problem was that. you brought like when I came you had egg. rolls Southwestern which is kind of you. are a Southwestern egg roll you're from. San Diego that is true that's perfect. that is actually perfect you are my. little Southwestern so he was doing that. to compliment you and here you are then. you yeah I took it as a um insult an. insult yeah okay you know what in.
retrospect I I I my bad and I apologize. no yeah because it would kind of be like. me a green guy walking in here and you. just having like another Fat deformed. green guy on your desk or something it. would be like that kind of offensive you. think it would be like that kind of. offensive Bobby do you think it would be. like me a guy self-conscious of his. teeth just leave it yeah do you know how. many people in high school we should. been more mindful were like oh look. there goes Slimer all right right right. you know how many times people would say.
that atino yeah did you do this honestly. if you really want to know the truth. about this this is new to us that she. put that on the desk yes she did yes she. did yes she did you ought to know. yes I like it what she said was I I was. at the CVS and I got a John goon statue. I'm like that's not John goon she she. was trying to you trying to get John oh. well said you that's what she thought oh. we do have John goon plushies available. right now are you guys going to do the.
graphics for me like I do on my show. yeah okay great cuz like that's kind of. like my thing now yeah they will you. know like I kind like it's like kind of. like that's my like you might be a. redneck mine is right now yeah I. like name of the show is right now it's. a good show wow yeah it's a great show. can we talk I want to know about your. history like what part of I don't know. where goblins are because we have a. Korea Town. yeah is there a goblinville yeah is. there a goblinville or yeah it's it's I.
mean it's probably van eyes or okay yeah. cuz you're the only one I've seen we. moved South you know yeah yeah you're. the only Goblin I've seen in La yeah. well I you know full disclosure I don't. really know a lot about my childhood or. my family and it's oh you were adopted. or something or okay I mean why would. someone give him up for adoption I have. no idea what is that what's that why is. that assumption well why you looking at. well you're assuming that he would be. like giving up for adoption I didn't say. that you said no I just said that like.
where I go where's the go hang out no. you said you said you don't have he said. he doesn't know much about his family. and then you said oh. you're yeah you're adopted I don't I. don't like that but wait hold on stop. stop okay what the [ __ ] you doing what. the [ __ ] are you doing dude you trying. to insult this [ __ ] just Fu that's. insane he I [ __ ] up when I said it I. [ __ ] up well here's the deal but. obviously why yeah he so he looks. different big deal yeah but hey alanus. what are they talking about yeah you. can't call them out cu if you call them.
out I have a question for you okay do. you have magic do I have magic very good. question very good question great. question yeah very good question I could. yeah I mean are you feel I mean he's not. a warlock well but he looks magical he. does oh yeah yeah so I'm just asking. have you ever performed magic before. yeah comedy magic I think we're all. performed it right now we're all a part. of it that is true we're all a part of. it you not so much but I would say this.
side that's what I mean that's what I'm. saying no that's what I'm saying no. because now I real I realize why I. kicked the tables on that's energy John. is right now the way you're looking at. [ __ ] you. John come my [ __ ] house boben [ __ ]. when you look like that it makes your. jelly roll you really okay don't do that. cuz Bobby I'm just going to let you know. this is a very tense holiday for me why. why yeah it's the worst holiday for me.
oh yeah because every time when I was a. kid you know I wanted to be somebody you. know for Halloween I'd be like you know. I'm gonna be Ros perau you know and then. everyone everyone would come up to me. and they just go oh it's a goblin right. you don't need to hear that all the time. it's like I couldn't be anybody yeah you. know what I mean yeah but you're someone. now you could be a. booger like a gigantic booger I mean. there are things that you can be.
right he already said he wanted to be. Ros pero yeah yeah I'm just saying it's. a like you know like me saying I'm gonna. be Shaquille O'Neal I mean just pick. right right you're saying Kim J Kim. Jong-un yeah cler to be who you are. right in an opportunity to be someone. else right and you really didn't have. that opportunity yeah would you like to. have that opportunity tonight I. would I would love that CTO okay can we. get a costume for John well you guys. have a costume for me yeah probably a. little something for lest did you do. this no they did it they did well I know.
he didn't do it but SBA did it cuz John. we just I wanted you feel I wanted you. to feel like you're included you belong. and I I got told from one of our. producers got told that your whole life. you were you were put down yeah and we'd. like to welcome you to our family here. we have a little costume for you yeah oh. W this is great oh this is perfect okay. and throw that on there I is it a lot of. could you could you it's got I mean it's.
it's it's for normal size faces oh Bob. yeah yeah oh wow wow there we go there. we go Bobby yeah yeah yeah what do you. think what am I oh God what am I well. it's I know what it is what you're not. going to want to hear it I want to hear. it yeah it's you know um a Vietnamese. soldier with Gang Green and a little bit. too much n. napom all right let me. character yeah that sounds great it does.
yeah yeah so um do you feel like you fit. have you ever done an Asian accent John. Goble con and I won't be tonight you. know why why John no I you're not even. human yeah I don't think so what do you. mean he's not h of course he's I said my. podcast is going well I want to go I. want it to go well really. well got he's not jewi for sure I mean. you see that but anyway uh um no point. at the ceiling yeah we we just got our. first ad sale that's great. congratulations Enron yeah Enron that's.
fun that's funny that's a good enron's a. great comp I do like enr yeah so we're. doing well yeah we had BP for a while we. British Petroleum for quite a long time. tring get Red Lobster they're on the. they're on the hook John John not John. uh. sorry. John there you go very good very good. so now do you feel a little bit more at. home now that I've squashed the beef for. you guys I know I'm playing mediator but.
I have to do that on this no it's Bobby. do you feel okay now yeah I do man I. feel great like I I just want to say. yeah I I think you're super funny yeah I. think I think you you're you're a great. actor you're M what I said I said mhm. he's beat me out for so many roles I. mean we go up for the exact same R the. same category yeah. every every time I go in for RO like. looking for a Bobby Lee type yeah ring.
ring John Goot wow wow wow wow yeah now. what has he gotten that you came close. on Borderlands yeah that was yours yeah. yeah that was yours oh yeah yeah. anything else that the one about Robin. oh yeah the death by death and ramen yep. so you I want to do an art house film. you know I want to show my range and. this guy is like sorry we're doing Bobby. Lee I was like come on dude now have you. been able to beat him for anything have. you ever gotten a role that he was up. for that you got what's that mucus Comm. commercial.
yeah X you beat me with mu X yeah yeah. yeah they were like do a little Brooklyn. thing it wasn't it wasn't the voice it. was the guy but anyway um there you go I. see there you go. John that's so rude dude yeah you beat. me out of that for sure he doesn't look. like that yeah yeah look at look at him. look at him John I live in R real. quick real quick nice that's that's my. boy Greg yeah okay okay cool guy yeah. seem gu he's cool okay he's kind of like.
stuck in the commercial world but he's. cool yeah I mean hey it's a living so. you have a. show I do yeah what you want to plug it. sure he did right now let's do it again. it's called The Right Now podcast with. John yeah and you know what Bobby yeah I. I think that you should invite me on. again I want to have you so I going to. do a redo I I want to do a full redo I. want to have you on yeah I'll bolt. everything down no you know what I not. no I'm going to wear a.
suit really yeah I'm going to come with. a different angle oh. yeah what's the angle you. drunk what's the angle the angle is I'm. going to. with he didn't do comedy the first time. not on my show right you know did the. numbers do look good or no on our show. yeah yeah they did did really good yeah. people they're it's a big hate watch. period right.
now but here's the thing so many people. in the comments yeah of my show are like. is John goon Bobby Lee oh so I'm G to. come back on you got to go back on I I. can't wait to have I can't wait to do it. you know what I mean I you mean I can't. wait I can't wait to do it anyway anyway. thanks for coming thanks for coming what. oh yeah I got to go to bed yeah yeah. it's you know mean I got to go to bed I. have those zimic bar burps oh zic burps. are pretty tough yeah yeah and I'm super. tired I got to get I have to get up at.
in six hours well I want to say thank. you to John go for coming on the show. and I hope that next time that you go on. his show you don't it's all good I can't. wait to have you on Bobby I really I. really madean it and you know what I'll. say something to all you guys. yeah I'm okay with Halloween now that's. great I really am like you guys are. maybe hey and can I say this too I'm. going to right it's so great that we. don't have to get you an Uber cuz you. have your [ __ ] broom. it's so just you know I mean or whatever. you do the [ __ ] out of here man hey hey.
hey to be honest [ __ ] freak John John. get him out of here no hey hey clap you. for being a bad friend get the F out are. we having our first. [Music]. fight wo. [Music]. woo yeah.
