Ouch! w/ Marc Maron | Ep 281 | Bad Friends

Hey. Hey. Oh, look at what goes on my feet. Look at what goes on my hand hands and. my body. And look what goes on our head. Yeah. And my head. We got new merch. New socks and shirts. It's been a long time since we've made. merch. But we really love this drop. That's why we did it. We waited. We We. think this is We got so cool. Baseball caps. Baseball caps. The t-shirts. We have the thank you. t-shirts. and socks. And we have socks. Available right now at badfriend.com. Don't go. through the rivers and the light and the. sea.

I know that you're going to have it your. way or nothing at all, but I think. you're moving too fast. You know the whole lyric, huh? I have no. idea. I seen the rainbow yesterday and so many. you know you know that song. What? I got you a gift to start the show. Gift gift. I have no gift. Dun. Well, last time you. told us about how much your new hobby. has enthralled you. And although we.

couldn't get you exactly what I thought. we were supposed to get you, we got you. something else. Who did it? Yay. What size are they? Your size? Nine. Nine, baby. They're nice. You like these? I love Europa. These are the Europa Track Control. These are the grippers. This was. Who are there that they wore and then. they didn't want to wear anymore? No, this was a 14-year-old boy who lives. in Burbank. That's what we got them. from. No, really. Yeah, but they're yours now, dog. Thanks a lot. And look at the rubber's worn out on the. brakes.

Do they work though? Do they work? Well, they don't break. unless like the wheels don't work, but. of course they work. Strap up and rock. out. You want to take a break and roll. around the parking lot for a minute? $11.99. That's how much they were. Mhm. $11.99. What would you like them to be? $300. 300? Why? I want the high-tech versions of them. Those are the highest tech. No, dude. I can go online right now and. get a higher tech. It's last year's. model. Is it really? Yeah. That kid was ripping. Oh, I don't like it. Come on, put them on.

Was it? Put them on and rip around the. neighborhood for one minute, please. It would really help me out. Really? Yeah. I'm having a tough day. I need a. good day. All right. Hell yeah. You're being real? Yes. I wipe out. I swear to God. You're not going to wipe out. [Music].

[Music]. Jump something. Jump something. [Music]. Dude, he's doing a move. Just doing the helock. Jump over the yellow. Jump over the yellows.

[Music]. You two are bad friends. Who are these two idiots? A white dude and an Asian dude. You two. are disgusting. You two are something. We're bad. friends. Put your computer up there. Yeah. No brain cover again. Yeah, those are gone. Um I don't think. we have ice here. I think you have to go. get ice. You okay, bot?

Who has that clip of him falling? That's all I heard you laughing. No. And that makes me realize that we. don't have the friendship that we have. Not true. I ran. I said, "Are you okay?". Then I turned and saw. Oh, you said okay. And then you cackle. like a hyena. We We have the footage if you want to. rewind it. We can actually watch what. happened is you fell. I go, "Oh my god, is he okay?" And then I turn my head. while we were coming over to you and. those two Mexican guys are dying. laughing. And I mean dying laughing. Am. I wrong? Do you have audio on that? See if. [ __ ] my friend my supposed friend.

cackling like a hyena. Jump over. Oh, you jump over. You said jump over. No, he said it. No, you said. wait. Stop. Stop. Stop. That wasn't Mexicans. laughing. You left as soon as the fall happened. You piece of [ __ ] dude. There was no No. Rewind it. Look to my right. To my right. It's an Irish Irish. laughter.

To my right. You didn't even look right. He's looking for He's looking. You left. and then you looked. You left and then you looked. You piece. of [ __ ] dude. That's not cool, dude. Are you okay? Are you Oh my. I said are you okay. in laughing? Watch. Listen to the rest. Are you okay? Are you okay? Honestly concerned. [ __ ] We said our hands on hips.

Nervous. Carlos laugh. See. see it's all Are you okay? [Laughter]. Look at the Mexicans. Look at. Look at the Mexican dudes laughing. Look. Look. He's right there, dude. I know. But,

dude, look at him laughing. Look at. these Mexican guys laughing. Trump, do your job, Trump. I get these. guys. They're cracking the [ __ ] up. No, wait. Zoom at that guy right now. Freeze. Zoom in on the other guy. Okay. From what I see, there's two of them. He ain't laughing, dog. Yes, he 100% he's laughing. Yes, he was. Everybody saw it. Wait, go back to the fall, though. Oh my [ __ ] god, dude. Here. We have this.

different angle. Two angles. Wait. This is what? Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. Are you okay? That's the first thing you. hear. Feel my [ __ ] finger. Well, I asked, "Are you okay?". I'm the first one. Are you okay? In a laughing hyena style. laugh, dude. Rewind the laughter. Three. Are you okay? Get the audio up, dude. So many are you okays? Shut the [ __ ] up, dude. Dude, you're a.

piece of [ __ ]. So many are you? You're not a friend of mine. You okay, Bob? Volume. See? Are you okay, Bob? We're concerned. Go right to that fall again. You go. back. All right, everybody. Don't laugh. Don't laugh. When the fall happens, do not laugh. If you smile, I will literally No. Put. your shirt down. Any of you you guys. smile, I'm. Dude, I'm I'm going to leave. I really. am going to leave. If you guys laugh, you're going to go. you're going to get deep [ __ ].

No more. I'm not even [ __ ] kidding. Bob, hold on. Stop. Play the video and if anybody in the. [ __ ] booth laughs, get fired. Any enthusiasm or you can't cover your. mouth. [ __ ]. nothing. Show your face, you cowards. All right, go. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh no.

Carlos, you're fired. Are you okay? God, are you not? See, look. And I'm concerned. Are you. okay? Five. Are you okay? Why are you crying? Cuz I'm sad. You got hurt. [ __ ]. I'm laughing at a joke. Not you. One more for the other angle. You okay? Hold on. I have a third. There's a third. angle. Hold on. Play this out. Yeah. Oh my god. See? Fancy smiling. Yeah. I need um. Funny, dude. No, these guys are looking at me.

The Mexicans, dude. Man, did you break your wrist? I think I did. I'm sorry, dude. Those guys are. Dude, dude, you literally aren't a friend of. mine. It's so sad. It's so [ __ ] sad. Those guys are laughing and it made me. laugh. No, dude. You laughed at impact. That's not true. We just watched it. again. I didn't crack I didn't crack a. smile. Watch the first one again. Watch the first one and I won't laugh. Okay, watch. Watch. Listen to right when I fall. Jump over the curb. Jump over one of the. yellow ones. You're the one. You're the [ __ ] dick.

Pause. Pause it. Jump over the curb. Start it over. Mone yells. It doesn't matter. jump over the curb. And I go, "Yeah, jump over the curb." I. repeat what you said. Am I That is true. I'm a bit of a. jump inside the volcano. Yeah, jump. inside the volcano. It's cool, dude. I thought it'd be cool if you jumped. over the volcano. You went in. Okay, go ahead. He didn't even get near the. See, he just said jump over the yellow. one. Go to the yellow ones. Jump over.

[ __ ] you. Stop it. Sit down. Please sit. Dude, let's move forward. That's insane. Look, we all learned a lesson. No more gifts. M. this was this was retaliation if I'm. being honest. from how much my heart hurt when I. bought you those Arsenal shoes and you. didn't like them. That's kind of what this and I knew that. you'd fall on these and I bought them. knowing you'd fall.

Yeah. One Christmas you I bought. probably $400 or $5,000 worth of gifts. to you. And yours is worth what $300. We can get. into a little. I've gotten I've given you more gifts. consistently than you've ever given me. And the and. I do it in chunks. In big chunks. You do it once. You did it one time. Yeah. Oh my god. I'm sorry that you feel. bad. You need to put ice on your hand. again, though. Yeah, you just ice it. Oh my god, that was terrible, dude. Anyway, that's not what it's like when you go to. the roller rink. No, it's way more smooth. You don't go to. It's not bumpy. It's. Well, chiseled chiseled uh concrete is.

not the move. I was doing some moves out there even, too. It looked good. Yeah, I was I was slicing it out and. everything too. And then the middle part. of the thing I can handle. But when it. got bumpy and when I heard the little. weasel go, "Jump out of the curb. Jump. over the yellow thing, bud.". That was him. Yeah. Jump over the yellow thing, buddy. Yeah. He was influ He was instigating. You weren't even attempting to jump, but. you just fell in the middle. Yeah. I'm not a [ __ ] professional. rollerblader, dude. Not anymore. Yeah. So, I think even me saying that is. ultimately irrelevant cuz you you didn't.

even you didn't hurt yourself jumping. over the yellow thing. You just couldn't. even get over the middle of the street. Oh my god. Don't. Please don't. Oh my god. We're done. We're done. No. No. No. Please. Throw a [ __ ] punch. Okay. You're [ __ ] attitude. You know, I got to tell you something. Can I tell you something? Why I love you. so much? Shut up. I was having a real real bad day. [ __ ] off. Okay. Do you want do you want you want.

me to love with you for real? My dad had. a heart attack last night. Jesus. And he's in the hospital. So, I was. having a crazy day. Which one? What do you mean which one? Stepdad or real dad? My real father. Okay. What is that? You laugh now. See? The one that abandoned you. And see, you laugh. Yeah. Yeah. The reason that you laugh it again. The reason you laugh is why I laugh when. you fall on roller blades. Say it again. My father had a heart attack last night.

Hey, you think it's funny? See, now are we even now? Now we're. even. Oh, is he okay? He is okay. Really? You going to be okay, though? We'll find out. All right. Sorry. No, it's okay. But that's why I laugh at. you when you fall. cuz you're actually different. Cuz you're actually a bad person. No, you're a terrible. Like you're genuinely a bad guy. You're a terrible human being. Well, you'll be hearing from somebody. Whom? You can't even Your assistant can't even. answer your text. What are you going to. go get a [ __ ] lawyer? My So Andrew textes my existent. assistant on Monday. She doesn't reply until Friday.

That's right. One week, right? I go, "Hey, what's Bobby's schedule?". She has a [ __ ] you know, he has a [ __ ]. storm. You know what I mean? In rage, right? To whom? About my assistant. I didn't say anything bad to her. I just. go, "Don't worry about it.". No, you said great assistant. Till when I called. Yeah. Five days. Right. And I called my. 5 days. Yeah. Yeah. I called my assistant. I go, "Great job. Continue the work, my friend.". And then she texted me and was like, "I'm so sorry. I'll never do this.". You went camping? Yeah. And I. She can't go camping.

Brother, she's been camping. Oh, is it another [ __ ] weight joke? What? I don't even know what she looks. like. I've never seen her in my life. Body shaming. You know what's interesting? I've never. seen what she looks like. And here Bobby. is saying how he feels. So, you're saying you're projecting? No. Oh, interesting. I've never met this. human in my life. I don't even know who. it is. It's an apparition. As far as I'm. concerned, you've never met Melanie, my assistant. When would I have ever met [ __ ]. Melanie? Well, then take that out. [ __ ] you. No, that leaf stays in.

You feel that way? Yeah, you do. You body shame people. Never seen her in my life. Don't even. know. By the way, as far as I'm. concerned, she's chat TPT. I don't even. know if she's [ __ ] real. I've never. even known this human to be real. Also, fat people don't camping. Bam. Oh my god. Bam. Dude, this guy's. shooting the fat gun. Dude, put away your fat gun, dude. You asked me for restaurant. recommendations. Oh my god. Did I send you to a good. spot? We can't go from negative to positive.

that quick. That's the best part of the show. No, I. don't like it. The part of the show. I can't change my quickly. You fault. You make fun of my dad that. has a heart attack. He's in the hospital right now. Like a little child at a park. Are you okay? Were you okay? Are you. okay from the fall? Is your daddy going to die? Maybe. Maybe. Huge difference between the two. You falling in the parking lot. You. Yeah. And you fell. You little fat jelly. roll. Yeah. I got Now why? Now, how is it that. he's more mad than me? No, no, I'm not mad. If you shoot shoot.

at me, I'm going to shoot back. You shot at me first. How? You gaggackling when I was falling. It's hilarious. It's hilarious. When a short little fat guy falls on. roller blades. again to see if it's funny, huh? You want to watch it again? See if it's. funny. No. See what I mean, dude? Dude, it's funny. All right. It's [ __ ] This is inherently funny. Yeah. Yeah. [Music]. Oh no.

Oh no. Oh no. I fall. I fall. I fall on the. ground. I go for the yaro thing. I fall. on the ground. Laugh into the mic so we know you're. laughing. Will you cut it out? Having a blast, God, man. What a And a beautiful sunny day, no less. Yeah. Yeah. In front of my two favorite Mexicans. Embarrassing.

All right, jump to something fun. Imagine if they were like a group of. like hot chicks. I mean, come on. That. that would have been so sad for me. No. No. See, I disagree. Hot chicks. would have found it endearing that we. were having fun with it and they would. have been like, "Are you okay? Are you. okay?". No. They'd be, "Are you okay?". No, it's not high school. That's why. that's high school. What? They would have got the ick. They would. have got the it for sure. if they were if they were. a guy with no balance. People want. balance. How about this? Like what do they what they look for? A. job. You know what I mean? Security.

Balance. Look up traits that women love in men. Balance is not on there. Yeah. Balance is on there, dude. No, it's not. Yeah. Traits that women love in men. Ready? Confidence, kindness, intelligence, balance. Oh my god, it is. It's the. fourth one. Yeah. Yeah. Sense of humor. Sense of humor. See, you fell. We. laughed. I know. But not does. It would give. Right. Carlos back me up. Ickick. Yeah, it's totally ick. If they're. a producer ick not get a job. How about this? If. you mean he's not going to be in [ __ ]. Commando 2. You mean he's got to run across a field. with a [ __ ] M16. You know what the producers You know.

what the producers of Karate Ghost? They'd be like, "We got to put this guy. in the movie again." Look, you mid. midair. You did a kick. You did a. karate. I didn't kick, dude. My leg both might. have kicked out. Do women find it important for men to. have balance? Do women find it important. for men to have balance? Find out. [ __ ]. There's a rock in there. Oh, there's a. piece of skin. Yeah. You want some? No, thank you. Yeah. Yeah. I'm going to put it on your. body. All right. Now, punch you. Why? I don't want your skin. Yeah. Put my skin on your body, dude. I don't want it. That makes That's blood, brother. Blood. brother. Generally, women find it important for.

men to have a healthy work life balance. And you do. Work and life out there. Work and life out there. Oh. Oh my god. You have a band-aid or. no? I doubt this place has a band-aid. Okay. I don't even know if we we don't have. like proper anything here. Okay. You know, someone else said that who. walked in the studio and goes, "This is. how you guys operate.". This place is a joke. It's a joke. Yeah. People go, "Oh, congratulations. You. know, you you got a great podcast." And. I'm like, "We we work in a dump. We work in a dump.". In an alleyway, don't you like it? Isn't this good?

It's the way it is. I would rather this than the other. thing. It's like Sesame Street. Like we went. down Sensory Street, right? And then. there was like a a door there. What's. up? He's got paper towels. Please. Do you want some um Get him some uh. Purel. Purel is alcohol. It's going to. hurt, but you got it. Oh my god. You. have to clean the cut. Oh, you do it. I'm going to close my. eyes. [ __ ] Give it to me. Do you have a Have. you When was the last time you got a. tetanis shot? I've never gotten one. Oh [ __ ] Okay.

Ah. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Yeah, but you. have to. You have to clean it. Ah. Sorry. Punch him. Kick. Take it out of a cone. Take it out on a cone. Oh, anyway, let's go to positive. Let's go to positive. You called me up. You said, "I need a good breakfast. restaurant." I suggested it. It was called Miracle Bakery. Yep. In Burbank. So, I was with um somebody I'm seeing. and we were in Burbank. and we were shopping. I bought a um a.

2012 Godzilla statue. Shut up. How big? It's like this big. Wait, is it at your house now? Yeah. I also got a um Master Blaster. statue. Dude, where did you go shopping? It's. called um it's called Blast from the. Past. Oh, on in downtown. I know exactly where. it is. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So, I got a Master Blaster and then I. got a Transformer old transformer and. then I got um bunch of stickers and. whatnot. What? And then we were I got that. Whoa. And then we um. then you know and then my date was like.

she was like um I I want something. breakfasty. I I don't know any thing. around here. Let's just get tacos. I. want breakfasty. Yeah. You got to do what they want. when. they want breakfast, you got to get. I called Andrew and he pro he brought me. to a place that was really good. And I'm going to be honest. Look, let me. be honest. When you ask me about a spot, don't I deliver? Typically, I said. that's the thing about you. That's why I. call you because especially in the. Burbank area because you used to live in. that area. that I know that you know the spots. there. I think you know globally like if.

I'm in if I'm in like Indianapolis, I. think you know. I got you. Yeah, you got me. Anywhere in the. cities, I think you know. Yeah, the rurals are going to be hard. for me. I even like even places like. Taipei. If you're in Taipei, I can hook. it up. You can hook up Taipei. Yeah. Uh so Miracle Bakery, phenomenal stuff. Bourbon. Go say hi. Also, they um they treated me like a. king. Well, they Well, you are. No, they were just nice to everybody. They're great people. They make. phenomenal food and they cook it all. there. We disagreed with the donut. What happened? Well, this is not a. really You You're a donut purist. It's.

different. Yeah. We disagreed with the donut. Okay. A donut. I mean, but their specialty was all the other. the breakfast items are their best. Yeah. What was wrong with the donut? It was like a faux nut kind of a that. the consistency wasn't what I. It's probably a little healthier. Probably. That's why it's not good. Well, look, healthy stuff that's. supposed to be unhealthy. But everything else was excellente. Oh, no. No. You. wear. marin. wear slippers. What the slippers about? Blue chair, babe. Blue chair.

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Shake it. Yeah, they g give gave you. one. You shake it about five or six. times. Last night I had hunger pains as. you know, you know, and I took two. chocolate ones, right? Shake shook it. Hunger pens away, right? My body felt. great, right? I love kachava. You look great, by the way. 25 grams of. 100% plant-based protein in every single. one. That's pretty impressive. Five. indulgent flavors. So, you got. chocolate, vanilla, chai, matcha, and. coconut acai, which I love. With every two scoops of Kachava, you. get 85 plus superfoods, nutrients, and.

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my cans? This it? Yeah. No. No. Tell He'll tell. He'll. adjust right there. Get some volumes, please. Yeah. I like to. He's older. He might not hear well. Well, that's funny. That's pretty good. one. How's the new material coming? Oh. Oh, okay. You go right to the throat. That's. [ __ ] cruel. And let me tell you something. best crew. ever. And last night I have to say Peter. Shaw came up to me and goes, "That's 6. minutes I've never even seen before." I. know. And they're strong. He told me today I just spent four hours. with him. Yeah. And did he say something about my. my my act? Yeah. He said he he did new material. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Then why what's the.

slam about guy? I thought it would roll right off you. cuz it's not true. No, but I should do more. The outfit should be more. Dude, he's clever. He's so clever. He's shifty, dude. He is. Well, with comics, I you know, you want. me to be open? I can be open. Yeah, be open. You can fly free on this. I feel that. I feel safe with you guys. That's that's when I was driving over. here. I thought this is going to be a. supportive safe room. Yeah. You can say whatever you want to. say whatever you want. No, I got nothing. Do you guys have a plan? Yeah. The questioning.

We do. We got a plan for the gam. Yeah. Yeah. The the question to me is. why would you end? Let me I'm going to. say something before I even say that. I. want to say that um I feel like there's. two people that are the pioneers in. terms of comedy. that inspired this generation to do it. which is a generation below you. Yeah, I get it. I mean. it's it's you. just one below me. and Mario Batitali. for sure. This podcast is so good. I think we all we probably all owe it to. Tom Green. The.

I did Tom. Yeah. Yeah. Right. Tom was. first. with the video podcast. With the video. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But yeah. Who? Me and. who else? Rogan. Okay. Who's that? Who's that? Joe Rogan. Joey. Joseph Rogan. Yeah, he's out of Texas. Oh, Texas. Got it. I got it. Got it. Yeah. You love Austin, don't you? He's running half the planet out of. Texas. Yeah. Yeah. He's got a a tight hold on the. enlightened meatthead. Dude, Marin's disdain. It's not disdain. It's It's reasonable. criticism.

Reasonable criticism. When was the last time you spoke with. him? Uh, I don't know. That's a good. question. I I guess it would have been. at the store. I never talked to him in. Austin. I don't go into the club. I. don't really think I'm on his radar. So, uh, something tells me you are. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Something tells me you are. I, uh, I don't, uh, you know, it's weird. that you get lumped into a certain. thing. And maybe it's my assumption. that, uh, you know, his, uh, his army. of, uh, of, uh, you know, healthy. fellas. Um,

is that their title? Army of healthy. fellas is so good. No, you just got to, you know, Yeah. got. stay in give the machine. the machine's got to be good. Yeah. Uh. that's a shot at Bert. Go ahead. What do you think the um the Austin. shelf life is going to be? Well, I don't know. Like I I think that. it's so effectively tribalized at this. point. It really comes down to material. I mean, at what point like at what point. it's like whatever they represented in. terms of policy and and it's not a. stretch, it's like they won. Trans. people are frightened. They have no.

ability to get healthcare anymore and. and they uh they're afraid of of being. alive and have no freedom left. So. that's done. When do you stop with the. jokes? When do you stop with the jokes? And like immigrants. Okay. Well, they're. being ripped away from their homes and. Yeah. And they're, you know, and they're. all terrified and and Okay, so that's. done. When do you stop with the jokes? Right. I mean, it's one thing to uh to pick on. the the vulnerable and the marginalized, but I mean, they're down. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, like, why do.

you got to keep hitting him? Unless. you're a hack. Now, there's a question, Mark. Wow. Mark, comes in swinging. No. So, I don't know. The last time I talked to Joe, people. for a while were like, you know, uh, why. don't you go on Joe's show? And and my. answer to that is like, why? Why? Right. Well, you it doesn't service. you. Well, no, I I don't need him. And also. it there there's no there's no way for. me to like what am I going to talk to. him about? And there's no way for me to.

to to to sort of not walk out of there. and be like, "All right, I guess I'll. look at my phone. Oh, [ __ ] How long is. this going to go on for?" You know, like, but it's like Martin Luther King and. Malcolm X made me meeting at once at one. point. Don't you think? Let's go. historical with it. Say it again. Malcolm X and um um Martin Luther King. meeting. They met at one point. Yeah. Well, that's right. Pioneers of the civil rights movement. Which one is Malcolm X and which one's. Martin Luther King? Martin Luther King. I don't I don't. really think. that's not Martin Luther. This the analogy doesn't work.

He's so bad analogies. Let him keep. going with this. It's going to get. funnier as it goes on. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Um let me go with more. analogies. He's like this is if Hitlers and Gerbles. had to hang out off the work site. Well, one of those is right. Yeah. Yeah. I think you got half that analogy. Okay. Yeah. See, why can't you just Why don't you. just once support me? You know what I. mean? With a analogy. Shut up. But that was just wrong. It it brought. race into it in a very profound way. Yeah. And I I would. Mine was angled and funny and distant.

It went somewhere else. Yeah. I I think on one side of that. there's a guy that's aggressively. fighting for the civil rights of. victimized white people. God knows. they've had it hard enough long time for. a long enough time. But uh has he has. Joe asked you? No. Oh, here's a better here's a better angle. Adam used to you go like, "Hey, what?". And I'm like, "No, why?" Why? Well, because it's interesting being. someone like us on the outside of it and. watching you guys. Oh, you got one foot in, baby. Well, yeah. It's up It's right up your. ass. That's the other foot. I think I think what it is for me is I.

would love to see you guys chat, but I'd love to see you guys chat in. neither of your arenas. It would be the. only way it'd be legit. because if you have to go to his show, not going to work. He has to go to your house. Not going to. work. You guys would have to do this thing. It's like setting up a mob meeting here. No, seriously. moderated. You should do it here at Bad Friend. It. would piss both of them off so [ __ ]. much. Look at the art behind them. It would just be of us. This would be good neutral ground. But you do have to understand something. I have known. Joe since he started.

Yeah. I mean, literally. since he first set foot on stage. I was. there. Yeah. And I remember uh my initial. issues were there was another guy Kevin. Flynn who was out of the game and he was. like a a soccer jock. and at that time Joe was like a you know. regional kickboxing champion and my my. initial reaction was like what are these. guys doing here? This isn't for them. This is it's like Louis once said to me.

years ago when Jay Moore started in New. York when he was like 17. He's like it's. not for them. It's not for the. good-looking guys. It's not for the. jocks. This is for us rejects. Us guys. who don't fit in. That's what comedy. was. By the way, was Jmore that good-looking? Is am I crazy? He was cute back then. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. For sure. Okay. But let's be honest. Let's go back. to the truth tree then. Mark Marin is a. good-looking guy. Not always. Sweaty. A good dude. Why are. you getting TV shows every [ __ ]. second, man? Not for my looks. We'll get to that in a. second. It is there's competition. There's your.

your face. I've seen you on screen. No, he's a handsome guy. It's annoying. You have great angles on your face when. you were young. Now, yes, you're right. You matured. When you. were young, you were hideous. You're a. hideous man. I was long. I was sweaty and, you know, bloated and long hair. But, but the. getting back to Joe, look, I I imagine. Mhm. All right. Sex machine, dude. Oh, that was okay. Ladies, who's that? That's a hot. But look, I could I really couldn't land. on a look, could I? Yeah. God, you really rotated. Now, go to the. No, the the Comedy Central photo down.

below. Awful. Awful. Awful. That was a bad night. Awful. I mean, this is what. anti-semmites dream of. That's not quite That's not quite a full. Jew. I would say full Jew. Look at the. one of me and Sam Canson. That That is. me at my drugged out [ __ ] best. Wow. What a legendary photo. That's such a good photo. What a crazy I was out of my mind. I know. Out of my mind. Everything had a reason. Was that Crest Hill? That was Did you live in Crest Hill? That was Yeah, I did. That was in the. back lot. Yeah. Uh. Wait, hold on. Was that Fitz? Was that.

you and a young Fitz in the. Yeah. Yeah, that was in Boston. Me and. Fitz. Yeah. Look at that, dude. Oh my god, dude. I've never seen this photo. Look at how. jacked Fitz looks. And then up there on the Where's that. one of me and Dave Cross in the red. shirt? Dave Cross. It was probably in. the mid 90s. Yeah. Hey. Oh my god. Wow. But that night for the Comedy Central, the first half hours, I I was I [ __ ]. it, man. It was so sad, dude. Because I. got out here. I wasn't living out here. and I was still doing Coke then, right?

And I had one guy who would get me the. blow here, right? And it was, you. remember, you remember Bob Baker? Oh, yeah. Sure. Bob Baker. Bob Baker did. I couldn't trust Chewy, but Baker had. other connection. You know, Chewy. Chewy had other connections the blues. You can get in there for free. Yeah. But but but anyways, I don't know. what happened to Baker, but he wasn't a. dealer, but he, you know, he was here. and I I would say like, I'm coming out, you know, try to get some. So, I was. really dead set on like trying to keep. clean before that special. And I thought. I did because I was like, you know, I'll.

just do a little the night before, but. I'll I'll stop at like 6:00 in at night, you know, and but needless to say, I. didn't sleep much. And I tanked. I. didn't tank, but it was not good. It was. the same that was like the same night. that that Hedberg, whether it was that. night or the night after, did the. special that made him. Yeah. But he didn't do well either, but he was. him. That was at that special. Yeah, that was. at the IV on. He bombed so bad. Yeah, he talks about it in the special,

right? Doesn't he talk about. He stops at one point and comes out. again. It was weird, but it it it took on mythic proportions. that special. I mean, that really was. what put him on the map. But that was the same bunch of taping. So, I was kind of sweaty. I did okay. I. really didn't have my voice in totally. I was still kind of bitter. But the. saddest thing about this is like, you. know, after you do a set like that, you. want go into a room full of friends and. like and they had food there, too. And. and I'm like, "All right, I finished the. set and I walk into where the food is. No one's in there but Baker." And he's.

going, "They got roast beef." And I'm. like, "Wow, wow." Yeah. Wow. That's the That's the victory. party. So, what years were you a doormat at the. store, though? I got out here I guess I I guess it was. 86 and 87. Yeah. So, I got out here in. like the summer of '86, became head. doorman, and uh you know, she made me. head door man. I got to had to get all. these idiots jackets. It was a different. thing there. She tried to open the she. tried to open one in Universal City.

Wow. Like in a hotel there. So, it was my job. to make the schedule for the door guys. There was no security or anything. And. nobody wanted this job. Wow. So, it was me, Rod Blackman, who wasn't. a comic, Andy Volver, uh Mike Jelnik. Do. you remember that guy? No. He was he. became a he was a lawyer. He's in. Cleveland. Uh you know um Jay Pope was. another guy. I can't believe I'm. remembering these names. But like you know she was like man you. got to get them jackets. And I'm like I. got to get them jackets. So I'm down in.

[ __ ] Chinatown trying to find black. blazers for these idiots. And uh yeah. And then like I was living in Cover City. with Steve Brill. And then they they. kicked me out of the the apartment. Uh. because like Pete Berg, you know, the. director. Yeah. Steve Brills also director. I went to. college with Steve and we were best. friends. We actually started doing. comedy together. But. Peter is killing it now. He does. All right. Yeah. Like he does he did a few Sandler. movies. He did Sandler's last special. But Berg is definitely killing it. Definitely killing. He's got a real. He was your college roommate.

No, Steve Bril was my good friend in. college. So Br lived out here and there. was a whole crew of them including Berg. When I met Berg, he was like he was. running. He was trying to act. I took. pictures of those guys and he used a. picture I took of him as his headshot. for years out in Culver City. But him. and and Bril were friends. And I was. living with Bril in Culver City in a. building his uncle owned or his mom or. something. And what happened was Berg. needed a place to live. So all of a. sudden they're like, "You can stay on. the couch." And it was so sad because I. I was trying to get in at doing standup.

The way I got the job as a doormat at. the store is like Mity, I was doing PA. work. This is a funny story. Like I. didn't know what the [ __ ] to do when I. got out here. I just wanted to be a. comic and I didn't know how to get on. I. didn't know anything. And I when I got. out here, I I showcased at the store and. I showcased I don't even think it was a. real showcase at the improv. Um and I. just like didn't know what else to do. There wasn't any other options. And I. started doing PA work. And so the the. first job I as a PA was on a.

It doesn't matter. Yeah, tell me. You. have to know. It was on a shoot for It was for It was. a a series of videos called Kids Songs, music videos for kids. Kids song. Kids song. Like kids bop. Yeah. Whatever. Something like that. And. this one was the circus themed one. And. they were shooting at the the circus. Vargas, which was on it was not it was. what do you call it when they're they're. not in season? Offseason. Right. So I. know it's hard. I'm getting old. I'm. getting old. I see why you're ending the.

show. That's pretty good. Thank you. Thank you. I'm going to give. Wait, wait. Save it. Come on. Just. finish the story. Don't attack me. So, uh, so it's just all these circus people. and these kids and the and the directors. all cod up and it's all crazy and I'm. just a PA running around getting things, but it's like really it's all circus. people and the kids are running around. and then after a day of shooting the. there were two clowns. and uh and there after we we wrap the. clowns come up to me and they're like,

"You want to get high?" And I'm like, "Yeah, okay.". Yeah. Well, I'm upset. I've never been high with a clown. Well, that's that's the [ __ ] up thing. Like, we let's go to our trailer. So, I go to. the clown trailer and they're in there. and the one dude just starts rolling. into joy and I go like, "Hold on. You. got to take the makeup off.". Yeah. I can't be still staring at you guys in. [ __ ] clown. I can't do the the clown. Was the nose. still on? Everything was still on. That's insane. So, anyway, so I get another PA job for.

Mitsy and I didn't know it. I just got a. job. you get into this this circuit of. PAS and she was shooting at that time. where where what is over there now where. the pet tree is Petri used to be the. house of blues and before that it was a. house it was it was called it was a it. was John Barrymore's old house an old. Hollywood house that Mity owned and she. put a restaurant in there called Barry. Moores and wow. for a while there no one would eat there. was it good. I don't know it was a full restaurant. no one would [ __ ] eat there well they.

tried to offer packages like, you know, dinner and the show. So, you dinner and. then you go to the main room show, but. it was it was a restaurant for a little. while and there were production offices. underneath it. And she was trying to produce the Comedy. Store channel. So, she had all the guys. that were working at that time doing all. kinds of sketches and all kinds of [ __ ]. It was this big undertaker. Ollie Joer. Yeah, probably. I'm trying to remember. who was Well, she was [ __ ] Danny. Stone at the time and. Oh my god. Danny was like, you know, who how are.

you? All he did was like, oh my god. I mean, you know, he has that. kind of vibe. Yeah. Always wearing a suit and sweaty, bugeyed, and you know, but. I heard Jimmy Schubert ate her [ __ ]. but I don't know if I. All right, Mark. There's your story. Yes, he he diverts and it's. Sorry. Sorry. No, no. Schubert will cop to that. Yeah. Yeah. Schubert used to. really. I think so. Oh, that was urban myth. Okay. No. No. You used to say I had a pager on. my dick. Yeah. So, Wow. Wow. But, um I don't want to talk out of. school, but I think that's public.

information. Okay. It is now. So anyway, so I had auditioned for Mity. Yeah. And I was running around doing PA on. this weird shoot. And you know who was. around? Charlie Barnett. Charlie. Bernett. Remember the guy from. Washington Square Park? He was in DC. Cab. I think he was a comedy store. regular. Old street performer. And I. just remember he was around. Ali Joel. was around. All them. Jan Hart, Karen. Hab, all the that crew of the late '. 80s. Freddy Asparagus. No, he wasn't part of that. Okay. But I did I did some Blow with Freddy. once up at Crest. All right. But um. you know who that is? I know Freddy.

Asparagus. Yeah, I've heard the name. Three Amigos. Yeah, he played the bartender. Oh, he was You know what? Yes. That line that that scene where he's. like uh uh I got to get out of this. town. I remember. He's a good guy. Great guy. Yeah. He died, right? Yeah, he died. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, so anyway, so I. know I'm I'm in like I audition for it. All I want to be is a comic. So I'm like. I see her at these at you know she's. running around or moving slowly around. in her boa.

sacheting around. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And I go Mity I. finally get a minute. I'm like Mity. I'm. Mark Maron. Do you remember me? I. auditioned for she she for you. She goes. oh yeah you're funny. Go talk to Becker. and be a doorman. Wow. So I went up to Mike Becker's office. Was that a big deal back then? Yeah. Wow. Because that was the entrylevel. position. Wow. So like, so then, so I go meet with. Becker and and she's I said she wants to. be a doorman. He's like, "All right.". And.

and then he's like, "Can you be head. door man?" I'm like, "Yeah, sure." And. I'm [ __ ] in Chinatown buying jackets. for guys. But uh so that's how I got in. Wow. And what had happened where I was. living? So So. Crest, wait, how old were you? No, this is before I moved to Crest. because I was still with B. They made me. move to the couch. Okay. at Brill and and Berg's Berg's. house. But then they just started. bringing parties home, bringing chicks. home, and they'd wake me up and Berg. would be like, "Play some guitar," you. know? I'm like, "What am I doing? Why am. I the like the [ __ ] in this situation? Get us laid, dude.

This is late ' 80s, right?". Yeah. And I didn't know how to get an. apartment cuz I was a [ __ ] I was like. a feral. And I'm like I I wanted to get. I had to get out of there. So, I go look. at apartments, but I don't know how to. look at apartments. And then like an apartment opens up down. the hall. Some woman needs a roommate. down the hall from Berg. So, I go take. this apartment and within days, you. know, I'm I'm doing blow. She's. supposedly sober. I get her [ __ ] up on. blow and like I drank all of her. champagne for her party and then there. was literally an intervention. Like her.

and her boyfriend and their friends. said, "You can't live here anymore.". Wow. And I'm like, "All right." And then and. then Mitsy was like, "You can live at. Crale." And I'm like, "Great." So that's. when. who was living there at the time? Crest. Hill. Well, for people that don't know, Crest Hill is a house that the comedy. store owned and it's Mistywood House. more on the hillside above the store. It. was a great old place. Uh, at the time, what was funny cuz I got a really good. room. The room right off the kitchen had. its own bathroom. It was a good room. And then across the way, Todd Todd.

Lemish the Todd Tamo lived upstairs. Tomoi. And then across the hall, who the hell. was that? Well, Todd, there was another. Todd the sound guy. He lived downstairs. and eventually Schubert was living. upstairs in the porch room for a while. Nancy Redmond was there for a minute. I'm trying to remember who lived in that. main bedroom, but that was sort of the. crew at the time. But I remember one. time because that's why that's why. Kenisonson was always up there and why I. had to go get the the booze and.

everything cuz he was, you know, with. Tomo and they were always broken up. So. he would like come up there and we'd do. blow for three days and he'd just end up. like pounding on her door like tomorrow. Ridge. Oh my god, look at it. Are you from the future? No, it's a slick Ridge wallet. And they. don't just make wallets, by the way. They make luggage and premium everyday. gear. But I'm telling you, these things. are awesome. You don't have to tell me because I'm. the one that uses Ridge Wallet. I know you do. We love Ridge Wallet. With over 50. colors and styles, Ridge Wallet isn't. just functional, it's personal. Whether.

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our show and let them know we sent you. Give summer one last harrah. Keep the. good vibes going with chubby. chubbies. It was crazy. It was It was It was the. last I think really crazy time when I. was there. I talked about this recently. with Andy Richtor and it all sort of. comes back to you, you know, because I I. mean I've told some of these stories. before, but it's like when you get back. to them, it's sort of like, you know, you start you start, you know. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You start getting back. into it. Yeah. But but it was just it was just so. crazy because no co Monday night was no. cover night,

right? Wow. So, so the way that worked. was like all the rooms were open. They. had to buy drinks, but that was like Sam. night. So, Sam would take over the main. room Monday night. He'd show up like. 10:30, 11. Wow. And then it was just all. the freaks from Hollywood would. converge. It was just such. Stevie Nicks, everyone. Right. Well, it was like more it was porn stars. occasionally, you know, people would. come and Sam would have to, you know, put on a like he was a a good guy show. for him. I remember, you know, one time like I.

was such a [ __ ] cocky dick. Like one. time uh in the kitchen like uh they. Clapton and Phil Collins had come to see. Sam. Wow. I don't give a [ __ ] about Collins and I. don't really give. But Clapton a little bit. A little but not much, you know? So. what? He's not Clapton. Yeah, but he's Eric Clapton. But like if. I I'm a I'm a guitar player, so I have. him in a certain place. I I tend to play. more like him than I I want to. But I. whatever. So he's back there. But James Taylor, would you James Taylor.

was somebody that would be impressed by. him? I interviewed him. Okay. Uh he's he's a lot darker than you. think. Is it? Yeah. Fire and rain, dude. Fullon depressive junkie for. years. Couldn't get out from under it, dude. Wow. Couldn't get out from under. Isn't that Clapton story, too? Yeah, but like Clap Dark. Yeah, I guess. But why does he play just. He's kind of a hack, you know? I love this. Clapton is a hack. I love. that. a blues hack. Yeah, a bit. Wow. I mean, he had pretty good phrasing and.

but but I think that his best work oddly. was with like John Mayal and the Blues. Breakers, the first band he was in when. he first realized like if I just crank. this, I can still play these old dumb. blues licks and sound like a genius. So, wow. What? I love you. He'll cop to that. Joe Bonamas. Joe Bonamasa. Bonamasa is a savant, but I don't know. who he is. Do you? No. But but that's kind of why I like. him. You think he keeps him you keep he keeps. himself hidden in in an order for us to. not. I just think he's a a sort of like.

naturally gifted guitar player who can. play the [ __ ] out of anything and he's a. good mimic and he's like you know he can. play like anybody. Yeah. But like I. don't if you can fake feeling, who do I believe? You know, like you gotta figure like. Freddy King Yeah. can only play Freddy. King. And when Freddy King plays Freddy. King, you're like, "Holy [ __ ] this. guy's really in it." So Bonamasa can. play exactly like Freddy King, I'm like,

"Yeah, but you're not Freddy King. It. sounds right, but the feeling's not. there." Right. Well, who makes sense? Yeah. Who's your Who's your Who's your. god then? Who's the guitar god? Well, that's a good question. Or who are the gods plural then? Who are. the three gods? If there was a little. Mount Rushmore, a little whatever. Who? Three, four gods. in terms of guitar playing. Yeah. Hris. Look, you know, in terms of uh blues, you know, I'll go with those old guys. You know, I like Freddy and I like. Albert and I like um who else do I.

listen to? Last names. Give me the last name, too, man. But I like Helen Wolf. I like his. guitarist, Hubert Sumlin. I like uh I. what? This is deep tut like. I'm sorry. Any of these [ __ ] Albert whoms? Albert King. Oh, Albert King was Stevie Ray's guy. You. know Albert King? He was Stevie Ray's guy. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And Freddy King like was pretty. pretty great. He's Clapton's guy, but I like I like dirty [ __ ] I like. Hound Dog Taylor. Oh wow. That I mean I like dirty [ __ ] blues.

I I'm a big Keith Richards guy and he's. not really a lead player, but I love. him. Yeah. I like Hendricks a lot. I mean, you can. listen to Hendricks. That stuff's crazy, but he's doing Buddy. It's so funny. I. saw Buddy uh Buddy Guy, you know, cuz. you know, Hendrickx got a lot of Buddy. Guy in him. And uh it was just it was it. was very funny when I saw Buddy Guy and. Junior Wells when I was in college at in. uh in Cambridge. They were both. shitfaced. It was second show. And Buddy. was like, "You like Hendrickx? I'll show. you Hendrickx." And he just started.

doing these looks. I'm like, "Holy [ __ ]. those are your those are your licks.". You know, and but Hrix was a genius. You. don't like pop bands then? Like when Nirvana came about, did you. like it? That's pop. No, I like Nirvana. Sure. Okay. Okay. Oh, yeah. I love I listen to popular. music. Well, they became very popular. No, no. I listen to all the music, dude. I'm a big gig Iggy pop fan. Biggest fan. Did you ever I used to listen to like I. was listening to Skard the other day. I. grew up in New Mexico, dude. So, I had. to. All right, dude. But I knew a guy at a.

record store who was like one of these. like weirdo art guys, Steve Laroo, and. he turned me on on to all the sort of. art rock stuff and Bowie and then but on. the radio you were Skard and all that. other [ __ ] So I'm pretty well verssed. in all of it. What do I go back to the. most? I think I. honestly I I listen to more Stones than. than I. Stones more than anything. Well, I go back to them on AC/DC. Huge. Angus Young fan. He's definitely one of. my guys. Okay. Angus Young on the lead guitar. and a [ __ ] performer no less. But you. can't beat that guy and his licks are.

just straight up blues wicks. But man, he's the he's one of the best. Good performer. [ __ ] it. He's a great guitar player. Yeah. Great guitar player. Did you find yourself ever liking John. Prime or No. Yeah, sure. I like John Prime. I could see you liking him. Oh, he's good. I interviewed him. Great. guy. because I feel like he's kind of your. style of of guy where uh he does. Clever. He's clever. No, no, that's not what I would say. I. would say no. He just doesn't give a. [ __ ] uh if it if it feels like it's. supposed to be the right way. If it's. like I'll do it my way. I don't.

He does it his way. And his and some of. his songs are [ __ ] great. Oh, they're. Angel from Montgomery. All right. Why don't you end your. podcast? Sorry about that, Mark. Oh, let's get back to what we started. with. Yeah, let's go with the original. I don't know what I get I drifted from. it. It's just like John Prime this and. that feeling. I don't know about that. Well, we're just chatting. I I don't like it. Let's go to about. But but the thing with Joe, the thing. with Joe. Yeah. is I don't know that we have a lot to. talk about because of my, you know, my.

idea of what's he's done to comedy. Sure. And I I don't think it's great. I think. that it's tribalized and I think that, you know, he's created a sort of army of. people that think they know comedy, but. they only know a specific thing. And. what they think is good is not. necessarily good. But it may be what. they're like, what they like. But on the. outside of that, most of the sort of. sensitive weirdos that we all grew up. with in comedy have been sort of pushed.

aside and the space for them has become. limited. And it's a little. There was a time though that alt comedy. was the. not all comedy. I'm not even talking. about the alt people. I'm talking about. just like interesting. standups, right? You know, weirdos. Yeah. Like Brent Weinach has a great. special. I think he's so weird. Joe Mandy. Yeah. Joe Mandy, you know, and now it's like kind of. this, you know, this there's this. cultural idea of what comedy is. Is there a world. and and I understand what you're I get. your perspective. Yeah. Is there a world where both these things.

exist and it doesn't [ __ ] matter. Well, so this is what I always say like. I get that you don't like that world. That's part of why I love you because. you're like [ __ ] that and you'll [ __ ] on. it and that's what's great about. there's some good comics in there and. there is a lot of middle section. There's a lot I I believe that we all. exist in the same world. and it doesn't matter is my point. I I. get why you. it's it's not all on him. No, you know, the culture has changed, right? And in. you know, and I don't necessarily think. for the better, but it's changed in a. lot of ways in that. look, you know, there are comics that.

only drive clips and and that you only. do crowd work and they don't care if. they do other people's jokes because the. traction is with the clip. And what they. don't realize, I think, and what a lot. of people don't realize is that you're. just you're you're the you're the. internet's [ __ ] You're the platform's. [ __ ] So, in the sense that if you're. not able to [ __ ] confidently do an. hour without worrying about getting. quipped so you can get people come see. you to do crowd work, what are you. really? What is your voice? Who do you.

work for? You'd like to think you're. working for yourself, but you're just a. platform [ __ ] who doesn't really need. to find who they are up there or do. anything interesting at all. That's a. problem. Yeah. So, and the bigger problem about what. you're saying is I think we all still do. exist, but the nature of the comedy. business is fragmented and some of it's. tribalized. But there used to be a lot. more weirdos around. Yeah. Who were kind. of exciting and interesting and took it. a different place. I would argue with. just talk comedy, there's not that many. people bringing it to a different place,

dude. Right. Well, there's there is some good ones. that like I think that I think that kid. Casey Rocket's really entertaining and. fun and different and unique. I think. they're they're there, right? I think. the problem is we're there's so much. sludge. There's so much [ __ ] There's. way more noise than we've ever [ __ ]. seen. So, it's hard to appreciate or. even care because all that's really. being shown is kind of the constant like. give it to him, give it to him, give it. to him, give it to him. So I get. I'm tired of the attitude. I thought you were going to say violence. in this country. No.

I'm tired. They come up back to LA. One. guy I want to name his name and go, "Oh, you're pretty seem like you're thriving. out." He goes, "I'm killing it.". Killing it. You know what I mean? And I'm like, "Whoa, whoa, whoa, dude. Without you out because you couldn't. survive here.". Yeah. This is a different. It's an animal. It's an animal. Well, I think the weirdos you're. referring to, by the way, were birthed. And I defend this till I'm [ __ ] blue. in the face. were birthed at the comedy. store. Wow. I I think the biggest the. biggest mistake that's made whenever I. go back east is, you know, the New York.

guys that I very close friends out. there, they all they, you know, they. make fun of the store and blah blah blah. blah for all the years. And I'm always. like, dude, you'll never find a bigger. group of [ __ ] lunatic all over the. mappers. When I started, when I moved. here in ' 06, it was whackadoo central. It was the late nights were [ __ ]. insane. In fact, the front patio, you. were like, "Is this illegal?" Whatever. this is. Do these people live here? Yeah. This is crazy. And I think I. always push I was like people don't know. that about the store. They think they. hear this like corporate bro. And that.

happens internally in LA a lot too where. they're like. the store is a [ __ ] you know whatever. sellout factory of [ __ ] bro comics. because not anymore. No, but there was a wash of it that came. through and I think. Yeah, Joe. They moved to Austin. But I I. No, I think I think I think even I think. even even up to a few years, even when I. was starting out and the Largo guys or. the East Side guys, if I go do east side. shows, they would make fun of me going. back because I had a lot of good friends. that were Eastside guys. Yeah. And we. started. because they couldn't cut it couldn't. cut it at the store. I know. But they still would hate on me.

for going. They go they'd be like, "Why. the [ __ ] you going there, Santino? It's. all [ __ ] l" And I hate it cuz I was. like, "You don't get it. That place is. diverse and insane and weird.". But the bottom line is you got to do the. job. You got to do the job. East side. You don't got to do the job. You got a bunch of like-minded people. that'll sort of watch you worm your way. through a personal story that goes. nowhere and and find, you know, love. The the the whole issue, whatever. alternative comedy was, it didn't. deliver the goods because it ain't. around anymore. And that weird argument,

it wasn't that alternative comics were. open micers. They were just trying to do. something different. But if you're. brought up with the working ethic of. like, you know, you open, you middle, you headline, and then you [ __ ] do. the job. That that wasn't the same sense. of of of purpose. So when you do the. store and the reason why I've never. stopped doing it, and I was always a. club comic from the beginning, but. Well, you're like Blade, though. You. live in both worlds. That's right. Well, I help build the. alternative world in New York. But then, but I'm just saying there's some comics. like you that do both. I wonder why. I.

mean, there's you I think Zach lives in. both. Gaffronac Patton Oswald lives in. both. Yeah, but some of them don't live in both. Well, some of them don't live anywhere. anymore. I'm not sure what they're. doing. But. they're back on that couch, baby. But but the truth is is that like in my. mind, it's like you got to be able to do. the job for whoever, right? So like the idea and sometimes at the. store it's hard. It's not always easy at. the store. There's a lot of times where. most of the room doesn't know who the. [ __ ] I am, but that's the job, right? I.

mean, you know, I do have my my people. and I go do theaters and stuff, but you. go want to go put yourself through the I. still have that weird ethic. It's like. because a lot of people are like, "Why. would you go to the store anymore?" I'm. like, "I don't know. Cuz I got to do the job.". Yeah. And I've It's a way to make to know. whether [ __ ] really works. If you can. make it work over there, it's going to work anywhere. I think that's it. I think everyone that. got successful at the store that became. a store person or a store name, Yeah. They have that like unrelenting. I have to be a comedian. I have to do.

it. Yeah. No other choice. When wives and girlfriends and friends. are like what are you going to a you're. going to the [ __ ] now? That's why I don't have any of those. things. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So you want to transition to stick. real fast. Yeah. Well, just cuz. I I can't even tell you what it is. Go ahead. He was a very masterful golf player. I know. You do? I do. I know. He's a good golf player. He's also a great bowler. He does. He's. good at everything. Yeah. He's like he's got all those white. guy sports down. Right. Right. Right. He does. Right. I have some of the black ones.

And he's also I don't know if you know. this. Yeah. Great actor. Okay. That's not That part's not. I think we've talked about this before. You're a great actor. Yeah. Yeah. But anyway, he should have gotten something on. Stick. Yeah. But it has nothing to do with. them. I kept telling them, you know, where's Andrew? They kept saying, "No thanks. No thanks. No thanks.". I was mad. We saw the show Stick. It's a. great show. It's on Apple. Uh, of course. our good friend Mark Marin is on it with. You wouldn't have played my part though. No, no, no, no, no, no. You would have played Owen's part. That.

was a tough cell. Yeah, I think it was attached early. Yeah, it was either me or Owen, basically. No, there's no other polar The joke is. there's no other parts. It's a young. It's Owen and a young child in him. It's. like a [ __ ] How. You could have easily done Timothy. Olance's role. Yeah, [ __ ] you, Timothy. And you could have uh you could have. done the the kid's dad's role, too. Who's that? What's his name? I forget the actor. He's great. But I. mean, I'm just thinking like you could. have done those. Thanks a lot. Recommend. I'm the only. I'm the only [ __ ] comedian that me. and Nate Paransi the only comedians that.

golf. It's so funny. I sent Nate a picture of. me and uh and I don't even No, I don't. even know the guy's name. This is going to piss me the [ __ ] off. I. bet a guy that I like. Well, I'm sure you like him. I The fact. that I can't remember his name is not. great, but hold on. Let me see if I can. find it. Holy [ __ ] I didn't know that. him and I talked. So, he'll Happy Gilmore, too. You should. have gotten a real golf part in that, too. Yeah. Why didn't you get a role in that? Not going to say anything bad right now. if Sandra was listening. Okay. saying, "Thank you, Adam. Thank you for. editing.". Thank you for having Adam. As if Adam would ever [ __ ] listen. No. You know what's so funny? He might. He's got his finger on the pulse.

He's pretty He's not listening to our. show. He's pretty good though. Adam. knows. Adam knows. He's smart. I'll be honest with you. I thought. that last special that Josh Safy. directed was the one of the best things. I've ever seen. Yeah. Fact. It was like and nobody. watched it and it was so weird and it. was so clear that that he had an. agreement with Adam to be like I'm gonna. do some [ __ ] during the show. Yeah. You're just gonna react to it. Well, the the special before that got a. lot of love because it was more. Oh, that's Colum Morawa. Yeah.

Yeah. So, so I sent that picture to Nate. and Nate says, "This is my happiest. day.". Oh, that's. I never in a million years thought I. would see this picture. You with Kora is so funny. And Kora of. course is. a human. Asian. Yeah. Asian. He's like you, bud. Damn it. I got to kind of like you, big. guy. Yeah. It's like if you got a photo with Tyrion. Henry or something, it would change your life. It would piss me off. Yeah. God, I hope I do. He's one of the greatest French. soccer players of all time. Yeah. I'm not a sports guy in any way. I'm just saying if you had.

I know that. Well, golf's not a sport. It's an activity. But I I mean, I'm athletic, but I I. don't do that. Yeah, we get it. Okay. Okay. He has been working out a lot more than. usual. I know. Look. Look at our legs. I thought we were cutting down on the. Zins, though. We're not. No, the no is no we're not and we're not. Now I'm starting to see them all around. my yard because I don't even spit them. in the right place. I'm just like and. now you know you got a problem where. you're like is that a zin under my. pillow my buddy told. why did it end your podcast.

time finishes the stick sync. Yeah, we're going to get there. The interesting interviewer no I'll be. honest with you about the the stick. casting for me. Yeah. is that like okay so I get offered. that role of mitz. and it's the role of the caddy so I I. immediately said like I read some of the. scripts I'm like I don't know anything. about golf and they were and I was I was. basically saying no I can't do it I. don't want to do it and they're like. doesn't matter and I'm like okay but you. know I have a podcast I can't do it and.

they're like no we'll figure it out and. I'm like and I kept telling them I. couldn't do it but ultimately what. became appealing. was a couple of things that if I want to. act I should do. You know what I mean? Because the. business is so anemic now. If you get an. offer and you say no, you're like, "All. right, well then we're then you. shouldn't do anything, right?" Because this is it. Yeah. It's one of them. Yeah. But the thing that was appealing to me. was outside of the I don't really need. to play golf in it. No. But the the the friendship between two. guys who are who are sad for very deep.

reasons and have stuck by each other for. this long through through thick and thin. and through these emotional cycles. Well, that was kind of compelling to me. to be able to play that and I and I. thought I could play that. And the. nature of a caddy is like fundamentally. codependent. I mean, you're there to to. service the dude. Yep. So, that dynamic with Owen I thought was. really interesting and could be kind of. touching and that was really what drove. me to it. And I learned enough about. golf to to sell it, but it wasn't on me.

to carry the golf show. Pun intended. carry as a guy. Yeah. He. didn't have to carry the golf show. But. it didn't matter because honestly, like. anything else, you got a straight offer, bro. What's that? Straight offer. Can I finish the thing with him and I so. we can have a good, you know what I. mean? A good rapport out of it. In the middle of in the middle of the. thing. Am I a bad interviewer to the. guys in the booth? No. You're the best. Anyway, it's a conversation, Bobby. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Ask away. Whatever else go. Well,

we were going to tie it up, but it's. tie it up. Put a button in it. Yeah. Put You see a button in it. Do you see. how good he is at the thing? On it. Yeah. It's good. I think this whole comedy team thing. works for you guys. And it really does. It does. Yeah. We're not like we don't we're our own. little ships and nobody wants to be on. these on this boat by the way. Like when. people say like. you know those worlds have been kind of. um I don't want to say like corporatized. or whatever eaten alive by other bigger. things.

Yeah. And Bobby sometimes will say how come. nobody wants to buy our show? Yeah. Yeah. And I'll say, "Buddy, we. don't we're not really sellable. We're. not really like. No, but you Thank God because now you. just run your own ship and cash your own. checks. whenever someone says I This is kind of. funny. We don't ever have politics on. the show. We never do it because we just. are like, "That's not for us. Go over. there." Yeah. I don't like it on this. show. And we had a few offers of like. people, politicians wanted to come on. the show. None of the big ones. Yeah. But anyway, I only did a sitting president. That was.

I know. We We remember. But it was. unfortunate because it was the. what? It was the. the black one. It was the black one. Yeah. You said it, not me. I Yeah, you were the one that. Take it away, Mark. He was great. No, he was [ __ ] amazing. It was one. of the best of all time. No, but I said I said we shouldn't have. politicians on, you know. He obviously. agreed. He's like, "Yeah, I don't want. that [ __ ] on here." And then I also. thought, had they seen this show? This is not But that's the thing. They. don't give a [ __ ] All they want is your. audience. They don't give a [ __ ] because. politicians will talk right through you. They don't give a [ __ ] They're going to. say what they want to say no matter.

what. And they're going to, you know, and you can say whatever you want and. they'll be like, "Yes, but I'm going to. say this now.". Right. I'm going to say what I want to. say. And also, why'd you quit your podcast? That was Bobby's question. I know, but Bobby, go ahead and ask it. Well, because um. I texted you, didn't I? And what did I. say? You said. it was very nice. Yeah. He said, "Congratulations.". I said, "Thank you, podfather, and. congratulations and good luck in the. future.". Yeah. Did I say anything? I don't. No, you [ __ ] did. Of course you. didn't text me. No, you were like, "Why?". Yeah, that's Yeah. Yeah. Why? I'll tell.

you why. I was mystified by it. Is that. right? Sure. That works. Yeah. I love when he tries. It did work. But I love it. If it were the 40s, you guys would be. the best team because you'd be like, "What, Bobby?" You be like, "All right. Don't you think we're a good throwback?". That wasn't That wasn't even an Asian. thing. No. That was just a tone. Sounded like Asian. No, it was just Yeah. Yeah. I've heard. villagers say that. We are like a good comedy duo from the. old days. Totally. of like the old. stupid.

You're the straight guy and he's the. wacky guy, right? Yeah. Um, you're like Marty Allen. Go ahead, wacky guy. Hello there. That's Marty Allen. Hello there. See, that was racist. Do you see what he. did? Yeah, I see what this is now. Yeah. No, no, that's. it's a team up. It's an old school team up. It's a team up, Bobby. Let's be serious. So, let's be serious for a second. Um, uh, because you've had, I think, the. best guests I mean, you could imagine. Thank you. I mean, you've had Leo, right? Brad Pitt,

Barack Obama. Yep. In that order, by the way. It goes Leo, Brad Pitt, Barack Obama. The best one of the best moments of the. podcast, we had Barack Obama on and then. President Obama. And then we did, me and. my producer did a sort of post talk. about what it was like to have the. president on. And people were like, "Who. you going to put on after that?" And we. were like, "I think Rich Boss.". Wow. Wow. Wow. Rich was very funny. Little drop though. The best. a little drop from the. president of the United States. Voss is so funny. I you know I've known.

him forever. He's so funny. So funny. I I knew him when I was starting out in. Boston. He used to come up from New York. and back then he had like this Jerry. curl Italian ponytail, little Italian. horn necklace. So, but he was always. something. But it was so funny. I had a. great interaction with him. Uh cuz you. know he knows Norton and you know I'm. friends with Norton. I haven't talked to. Norton in a while. And I saw Voss at the. comedy store and I'm like how's Jimmy. doing? Is Jimmy doing all right? Had you. heard from him? And he goes, Jimmy's. great. Uh, he's got a beautiful wife. with a huge cop.

All true. All true. Yeah. Yeah. Why'd you make the. decision? Your hair looks good, buddy. Please stop. It does. Stop with this. It does. I'm not. You know what, guy? Oh, boy. Oh, boy. You're misreading me again. No, I'm not misreading. Yes, you are. You always think that I'm. like, you know, condescending or I'm. busting your balls. I'm being. because of the history we once had. Yeah, but. at one point you didn't like me. No, that's not true. That was all in. your head. Okay. At one point he doesn't like everybody. That's not true. I'm just. But then he learns to like you a little.

bit. I'm just guarded. It's not not that. You've never had a point where you. didn't like him or you didn't like me. I never didn't like you. I didn't know. you like I. There we go. That's how he does it. That's how he does it. That's how he. does it. All right. Good. I didn't know you. either. I treated you like [ __ ]. And here's the problem. I would argue. that I didn't treat you like [ __ ] I may. have come off as uh a lot of people. think arrogant, but it's not. I'm just. like I'm just guarded. Everybody thinks it may have, but you know me now. I do. Yeah. I'm a pretty softy guy.

once you get the the key to me. But. here's the problem, Mark. Yes, that is. to be true. The problem is losers like us. Yeah, we [ __ ] loved you through it. because we were like, I still really. like him and I really want him to like. me, but I don't think he likes me. And. we did that. And we all did that. Although I was So, did I tell you about. Oklahoma City? No. I'm shooting the Green Day movie in. Oklahoma City. Yeah. I'm at the hotel. I have the day off. and I'm coming out of my hotel room and. from afar I see the back of his head.

But I thought there's no way that's He. turns around. and it was the most exciting. I I kind of I speed ran towards you. It. was unbelievable. Yeah. Yeah. He was. doing a show there. Yeah, I was stuck in a hotel. Yeah, it was a great meeting. But he had the other times when he. didn't look at you in the hallway and. you remember those days? Yeah. Yeah. Well, I think that you. didn't like my style of comedy. I'm a. I'm very needy on stage. I use little.

tricks. I approve. Who isn't needy on stage? Yeah. I use tricks on stage that you. wouldn't, you know, I mean, do. Let's be honest. What are some of the tricks? Right. Just like, you know, what's not a Mark Merritt trick that you. do? Like kiss people on the lips, different. things like, you know, shot. Show. Yeah. Show the belly. Show the belly. The little tricks that. you. But I I want you to know that once you. guys, anybody, any comic, once you. figure out the trick of me and you. figure out how to bust my balls, it's. over.

Yeah, it is. I don't believe that. I believe you. softened. No, no, no, no. He's saying there's a Look, dude, he's saying. he softened. He's saying there's a [ __ ] code and. you got to get to the once you get the. You know what it is in video game? Like. once you found out where that extra. thing was in Mario and you were like, I. know how to get that [ __ ] thing. Oh, right. Right. Right. But it looked threatening and hard but. really like you jump on the mushroom, you get to the thing, then you. then you get it. That's what it really. is. That's Mark's thing. Doesn't that make sense? Yeah, it does. And you got to get there.

But also when I knew you the right, it. was like I knew you when. WTF was new. Yeah. Even before when you were married to me. Yeah. Right. weird. Maybe it was a secret or something. I'm through it. I knew you're through. it. Yeah. Yeah. He's through it. Yeah. Yeah. Jesus. Yeah. Which, you know, I. have feelings about, but uh Yeah. But I. knew when you weren't as successful. Yeah. And you know, the reason why you started. WTF is because you were in a good place. Bad place.

Very bad place. And you were a little. angry and sad. Yeah. Right. And so I. think that once you got through the. divorce, you right. And um. right and then you know WTF started. taking off. Then you were getting TV spots and you. were. all the things that you deserved you. got. Yeah. Okay. And then you softened. Well, I softened with age and I softened. with a lot of stuff. But yeah, I but I. but also the the primary intention of. WTF at the beginning was to sort of.

settle these scores of people that. either I did have problems with or. people had problems with me. And most of. the time when I thought I had, you know, caused some trouble for somebody or they. didn't like me, they didn't even know. what I was talking about. And I be, you know, I'd bring up these events and. be like, "Oh, yeah, okay, I guess." And. it was like I had decided somehow that I. was an outsider of the community. You're. not. And no, I'm not. But but I'm crazy. Okay. So that's true. You're a leader.

Well, yeah, you are. You're a leader in the. community. You're one of the. forefathers, but you're also crazy. It just lines up. Yeah. Yeah. A little bit paranoid. Just. say it. What? What? What? Why? Why did I stop? Just why? Why are you done? Why? Oh. Oh. Well, the truth is like we've been doing. it 16 years and you know, when we set. out to do it, it was not there was no. money to be made. It was really just an. an act of trying to create something, you know, honest and interesting. And it. evolved over time. And then my producer.

and I were audio guys and he's a very. specific type of producer. He spends a. lot of time with these interviews. He. crafts them and the and over time it. developed a very personal style and it. was sort of a a a sort of the arc of my. life and my engagement with these. people. But it was ultimately a lot. about me. And the thing about the show. is that we we've worked very hard at it. there. We never wanted to do video. was. never part of our thing. We're not.

content generators. We're not We don't. put things into the world to make money. really. And the fact was is three years. ago we got that deal with the platform. and it was something we deserved and it. was not a huge deal but it was a good. one. It was a good one. and you know we got in under the wire on. that and and right before we took the. platform deal we were like you know we. don't have to keep doing this. We've. done an amazing thing. We've helped sort. of create a foundation for this medium.

We've created a style of doing it that a. lot of people coped and you know we're. still operating at uh the quality has. never shifted. The audience has never. gone away but it really becomes a. question of like how long do we need to. do this? And the arc of the deal with. the platform is three years and it's. coming up on that and we made our money. in a way but it's it's it it becomes the. the I think the landscape's different. you know we do what we do and people.

still do it come to it audio is a great. thing but after a certain point it's. like we've interviewed everybody. and my producers like were a little. exhausted it's consumed our entire lives. and we just thought like in terms of our. our legacy, why not just let it be done, you know? Why you why do you want to end. up like down the line having people. going like, "Oh, Marin still doing it.". Who the [ __ ] needs that? Yeah. God, that's wild. By the way, he gets. regarded as an interviewer in public and.

you and I are at the airport and people. go, "Bob's mom.". That's what we hear. Yeah. You know what I also get? The. reason I'm doing a special is because. podcasters come see my show and then. afterwards they go, "Wow, we didn't. think you could do standup." I know. They never knew you did it. Yeah. They never even knew I did it. And that's the most important thing in. our life. Yes. When's yours coming out? I shoot it in January. Is it going to How long is it going to. be? [Laughter].

You know, a headline on the road. Mark, how many openers you. Huh? Two or three? No, no, no. Yeah, I do. Three or four? Yeah. You have to understand something. I. think you're [ __ ] hilarious. Okay. And you don't believe that? You're doing a special. Oh, he doesn't want the attention. I don't want the attention. Yeah. You're doing. I shot a special in New York. Yes. And I. think it's one of the best I've done. Where is it at? Where did you. I shot it at the Bam Harvey. It's like uh it's in Brooklyn. Okay. I was going to do it at town hall again,

but I didn't I didn't I don't love that. space. I said there's isn't there like. an 800 900 seater anywhere in New York. You only did one show. No, I did two shows, but the theater is like this old theater. from the early 1900s and they've they've. maintained it, but they didn't restore. it. So, it almost has sort of a half a. ruin feeling. and they had this back wall that looked. like a [ __ ] piece of modern art. And. I'm like, that wall is the whole thing. We got to we got to make that part of. it. And the production design on it, it's [ __ ] genius. Wow. The guy like the production design guy,

he saw the space and he wanted to. integrate it. And I'm I'm the of the. mind that you can't really make those. things look that much different than. anything else. No, leave him alone. But this guy was genius. He goes, I'm. thinking Katsuki. And I'm like, I don't. even know what the [ __ ] that is. So I. Google it and it's this ancient Japanese. art of restoring ceramics with gold to. to in the cracks. It's all and he and. I'm like, all right, well that sounds. good. You just do that. So he just. created this vibe that was amazing. I. did a full [ __ ] 73 minutes. I had it.

in my mind. 73. Well, they wanted an hour and like I. believe this is what we work for. And. that's why I love HBO is because. they they curate [ __ ] They're still. producing good [ __ ] Yeah. And I and they they're like, "You're. going to do an hour?" And I'm like, "Yeah, I'm going to do an hour." But. then I was like, "I think it should be. 73. because my last special was 73." So I. got it in my head that that was that's. what I could do, 73. And uh they were. like, "All right, fine. Do it." And it's. so [ __ ] up. And I guess it's just a.

testim test testament to how long I've. been doing this. Like I had like an hour. and 45 for the tour and I knew a few. weeks going into it that I had to get it. down. And I just got the redundancies. out. I found the callbacks. But I swear. to God, both shows that I did that. night. 73 minutes like on the [ __ ] dot. Wow. No. No. Cognizant of the time. You were. just rolling. No. Wow. And I look at the clock and I'm closing. at 73. I'm like, I know how to do this. 73 is phenomenal. Yeah. It's good though. And I I just. want to tell you. it's gonna be on the HBO. HBO. It.

premiered August 1st. August 1st. August 1st. Go check it out. Yeah. What's it called? Panicked. Literally perfect. It's perfect. And by the way, for the record, go see. uh watch Panicked right now on HBO. Uh a. great name is hard to find. We're trying. to find his name for his special. Yeah, we'll figure it out later. No, give him Come on. Could you call it. Bobby? Yeah, that's good. With a lot of ease. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Bobby. It was going to be called Trauma Llama.

Yeah, that's pretty good. Yeah. Trauma Llama is really good. AI. generated that unfortunately as we we. asked what AI thought it would be. What's in the running though? Really? I. have no idea. Well, no. We had a few. The Slept King. He likes trauma llama. [ __ ] in the. armor. I think that one's very funny. I do. think that one's very funny. Yeah, AI came up with all these. Yeah. Yeah. Anyway, watch. What was the other one? Tiger Daddy. Tiger Daddy. Oh, that's pretty good. Tiger Daddy. I think you should capitalize on, you. know, the name of the these shows.

Yeah, you should. Yeah. Well, my nickname in on Tiger, but. my other podcast is uh the slept king, right? Yeah. The what king? The slept king. What is that? Slept. Yeah, cuz I'm not woke. I'm the. opposite. It's too complicated. See what? It's hard to find. It's hard to get. Panicked. Panicked on HBO. I see it. Did. I get it? Okay. And I'm sure you named that yourself. I did. We had a a few things in the. running, but I I I kind of stuck with. that one. I'm like, let's just do this. What was the other one? Yeah. What was the other one? You don't have to clear it with HBO,

right? They don't care. They say got to. Oh, you do? Yeah. And I Yeah, you definitely got to. clear it with HBO. But we were going. with one that I thought was too long and. now I can't even remember. Equinimity and the Bird Theory or. whatever. Exactly. Yeah. No, I just was But it's. really hard to find those one-word ones. and you kind of feel like you need to. So many of them had done already, right? Or it's or it's or it's it's two. words, but it's quick. It's got to be. pop-up. Yeah. Yeah. It's got to be fast. Yeah. I can't remember the [ __ ] other. names. It's so crazy. But when I got. Panicked, I'm like, "This is it.". Panicked is perfect.

Thank you. Panicked is perfect. Go see Panicked on. HBO. All right. Thanks. For those of our fans of. We love you. We always say, "Thank you. for being a bad friend to the audience, and I want you to do it because it'll be. a nice sign off for us." Uh, thank you for being a bad friend. And. that's it. No, don't cut him off, will. you? That's it. [ __ ]. You do more. And I'll be honest with you, these two. guys are good friends and of of mine. And if I was in a pinch, I know I could.

call either of these. Yeah. Yeah. Thank you. We love you. Wow. That. [Music]. Woo. Yeah. Woo. Yeah.