Nasa Poops In Space | Ep 329 | Bad Friends

You two are bad friends. >> Who are these two idiots? >> A white dude and an Asian dude. You two. are disgusting. >> Well, you two are something. >> We're bad friends. >> I'm I'm coming in with a positive light. like I always do in every social. situation. It's pure light, you know. >> Pure light. >> Yeah. But um. >> Well, let's hash something out then. >> I have hashes with you. >> You got a hash with me? >> Yeah, I got a pretty big hash with you. >> I have a hash with him. And can I just. preemptively say what your hash is? What.

I think it's going to be because I'd. like to do that. >> Can I do that to you then? >> Yeah, preemptively. >> No, you preempt You preemptively hash. >> and then I'll do it and then you do it. But I think it goes in that order. >> Yeah. >> All right. Because I I feel completely. connected with you guys and and in. harmony with you guys. Me and Andreas. hugged when I walked in here. I feel. like we're. >> That sounds like a guilty person. Yeah, >> we're [clears throat] fully [laughter]. we're fully we're fully connected. You. know what I mean? So, go ahead.

preemptively hash. >> Um this is because you called me. >> Okay. That's not. >> No, on Saturday night and I got you. said, "Oh, like time is bad, friends.". And I said, "Oh, you're back from Utah. already." And you said I never left. >> Okay. So, can we do now? We're doing a. pul fiction. [laughter]. >> We're doing a pul fiction right now. We're jumping around a lot. >> We're jumping around. So, let me. >> But by the way, the story will make. sense at the end. I think it will make. sense. >> It will. >> That's very good. >> All right. So, this is very fictiony. >> Yeah. >> All right. So, here's my side of the.

story. >> Okay. >> Andrew and I were supposed to fly to. Utah. >> Andrew did fly to Utah. [laughter]. >> I know. From a different city, though. >> I left from Seattle, Washington for my. niece's graduation enjoying time. >> Who cares? >> Just cuz you barely made it out of high. school. >> Okay. >> Some people It's important. >> Okay. High school. >> It's big. Oh, okay. >> She's already in. >> They did the hat thing. They th we're. not gonna get jobs. [laughter]. >> Society's over.

>> She's smart. She'll get a job. >> All right. >> She'll get a job. I left my niece's. graduation. >> Oh god. >> In Seattle. And I flew direct leaving my. family. I flew direct down to Salt Lake. City. >> Did you see the Did you. >> So I get a call from Carlos. >> Hey man, Bob's flight's delayed. I said, >> delayed. >> I said, ' Okay. Delays happen all the. time. He doesn't want to wait. >> It's my turn. >> He doesn't want to wait, man. [snorts] I. call him. >> This guy, [laughter].

dude, they said that there's air in the. engine, [laughter]. an air bubble in the engine. Whatever. telephone game got played with the. mechanics of the failure. It was fine. And I said, "Okay, we'll just wait it. out." And he goes, "No, they said. they're probably not going to take off, man. It's not." And I was like, "Well, what? Come on. I mean, like, is there. another flight? I don't want to go to. LAX." They said, "All right, but there's. got to be another. >> You would go to LAX from Burbank. That's. an hour drive.". >> So what? >> Okay. >> You're not even driving. You're in a. car. >> Okay. >> Okay. So So So on top of that, so I.

said, "Fine. I understand not going to. LAX." That's fine. That's fine. >> You would never do that. >> NO, >> YOU WOULD NEVER [screaming] DO THAT. >> For this show, I WOULD. >> YOU WOULDN'T. BURBANK FLIGHT. >> There was a Burbank flight. Anyway, so. here's my other point. Not only did that. plane take off, the flight after it also took off. You. know how I know that? Cuz one of the. guys on the shoot took that flight. [laughter]. So you stink. And I said to Carlos, "Hey.

man, they said that that other flight is. going to take off because I called.". >> And then then and then he goes Carlos. goes, "Let's hear the other side of the. story. I'm sure there's another." And. then Carlos goes, "He's already at. home." And [laughter] I said, "Where are. you?" And you go, I had to leave, man. And he even lied on the phone and said, I'm going to wait a couple hours. I'll. wait. I'll wait. He didn't even wait one. hour. So, go ahead. Go ahead. Go ahead. and play a case. >> All right. I wake up at 6:30 and don't.

go boohoo. >> Yeah, boohoo. >> I JUST SAID NOT TO BOOHOO IT. >> Don't tempt me with the boohoo if you. [laughter] are going to boohoo. >> Okay. >> 6:30. Guess what? I'm waking up tomorrow. at 4 to go to New York. >> Boohoo. >> Exactly. I'm not complaining about it. It happens. You know what adults do? They get up. >> I choose to do that. >> I choose to do it. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> I got to get up this morning. >> Yeah. >> What? >> You choose to get up this early and to. go to New York. What are you going to. New York for? >> I have to do press for our show. I'm.

doing podcast without you cuz I can't. rely on you anymore. [laughter]. >> Okay. Can I tell my side of the story? >> Yeah, go ahead. >> All right. >> I get up early. I get to the Burbank. airport. >> Yeah. >> Right. I check in. >> The early part is meaningless, by the. way. You're 55. It's a flight. You have. to take it. >> Yeah. Okay. Can I just say something? Back in the nomad times. Okay. >> There weren't planes. >> Can I just finish what I'm saying? You. had your opportunity. >> You've seen Congress. They interrupt all. the time. >> All right. But. >> yield it then. Try to yield your time. >> So, a group of people would not sleep at.

the same time, right? There people are. genetically to sleep later, right? And. we're called the watchers. >> No. >> Yes. I'm telling you, I'm a watcher. >> You don't watch [ __ ]. >> Yes. But in a clan and in a tribal. situation out in the wilderness. What? >> Not humans. You were talking about dogs, right? No. If someone wanted to watch. for everyone at night, you wouldn't be. the one. >> I know. But I'm genetically made up to. be that guy. >> Kill you. THIS ONE'S WORTHLESS. >> WE WOULD BE DEAD. YES. I'M NOT SAYING. THAT. I'M NOT ARGUING THAT POINT THAT WE.

WOULD DEFINITELY BE DEAD. BUT THAT'S. what I'm genetically engineered to do is. stay up at late at night and to watch. I. wouldn't watch. We'd all die from the. wolves. I GET IT. >> YEAH. >> All right. So, what I'm saying is is. that this 6:30 a call time, right, is. genetically and and and biologically. different for me because I'm a night. owl. >> You should be up already. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. Yeah. I know. I That's when I. sleep. [laughter]. Okay. So, now I have no sleep. >> Okay. >> Thank you.

>> So, you get there with no sleep. >> I get there with no sleep, right? And I. get to the checkpoint, right? And then I. >> six people. >> max at Burbank. >> He was 15. >> Okay. [laughter]. >> All right. So don't don't don't do that. Okay. All right. >> Doesn't have preach, >> right? >> Yeah. Loser. >> I go to my gate. >> They call my number, [laughter]. >> which is number one. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. Yeah. And I go I get on the plane, right? >> Mhm. >> I strap in. >> Yeah. >> I put my headphones in. I take my pillow.

and I I I fall asleep. >> Sure. >> I open my eyes and there's no one on the. plane. >> [laughter]. >> So now I'm I'm in a fever dream. >> Mhm. >> Okay. >> They had evacuated the flight and I'm. the last one. And they go, "Sir, you. didn't get that." I go, "What's going. on?" Right. Petrified, [laughter]. right? And I go, "What is going on?". They go, "There's an air bubble in the. engine." That's what they said to me. >> I believe it. >> I'm not an engineer. I don't know. anything about it. >> I don't know either, but I imagine. >> Yeah. Yeah. Don't Google it. >> Okay. >> Okay. >> But it would happen to you.

>> It It happened to me. >> That's what everyone I know said. This. would happen to Bobby. >> Exactly. Yeah. >> So, I. off the plane and I see the line right. for the front desk and it's everyone in. the plane. >> What does that matter? >> Because they're all trying to cuz they. all have like, you know what I mean, connections and stuff like that, right? >> You don't. >> I understand that. So, I go up to the. lady, right? There's another lady off to. the side and I go. >> side lady. >> I There's always a side lady. >> There's always a side lady. >> Yeah. And I said, "Um, what's going on?".

"Well, there's some engine problems.". And I go, "How long will it take?" We. don't know. Probably an hour or two, >> right? >> And I go, "Okay, >> get a snack.". >> I sat down. >> You did? >> I called Carlos. I called people around. me. Right. >> And then about 20 minutes later, I. walked back up to the lady and I go I. go, "What are the odds of this taking. off?" She goes, "Probably not good.". >> That's what she told me. >> The woman that works at the front desk, does she have working on planes?

>> Can Can I say that? Well, you know what? I am not gonna get to the tarmac. [laughter]. >> Go to the [ __ ] people that are. working on the planning. You should. Hey, Joe. [laughter]. >> You know me. I don't even know how I got. here. >> Oh, no. That's how you got down. Don't. worry about it. Just getting this air. bubble out of the engine. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. How How long is this. going to take? This. >> Maybe an hour or two. Go get a snack. >> I I understand that. But is there a. possibility that it might not take off? >> Possibility we'll all die today. Go get. a snack. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I don't like. that possibility. >> Well, me neither. But is your buddy. already in Salt Lake doing the pod. without. >> Yeah, he flew off from Washington. Man,

I can't believe he flew. >> I flew out from Washington. >> Well, you ought to go home and get some. more rest, you lazy [ __ ]. >> All right, so then I go back out. >> So, I'm sitting there and I'm going, "Okay, so the probability, right?" And. then in my my assumption with that line. is everyone's trying to get onto that. 12:30 flight. >> You already have a ticket. Your ticket's. already good. >> Okay, >> your ticket's already good for a flight. They remove you from a flight. Your. ticket's still good. >> Okay, but also. >> doesn't deactivate your ticket. Could. >> Could this possibly happen? Okay, could. this possibly happen? What could have. possibly happened was you waited, got a.

snack and a coffee, took a rest or. whatever. Somebody could have woken you. up. Carlos should have gone to the. [ __ ] airport with you. That's what he. even admitted. He goes, "I should have. just held his hand, >> you know, which is not your fault, but. then you SHOULD HAVE JUST WAITED.". >> I'VE NEVER BEEN ON A PLANE BEFORE. I. KNOW HOW IT ALL WORKS. >> YOU FELL ASLEEP and everybody got off. [laughter]. >> So, it doesn't sound like you know what. the [ __ ] is going on. And then you left. without the even giving it a chance. >> I gave it a chance. I asked. probabilities. I'm all about. probabilities. >> That woman doesn't know. >> Yeah. Well, obviously.

>> she's just telling you stuff. >> What? >> You don't like the. >> money ball? >> Yeah, you're a big money ball guy. >> I'm a moneyball guy. >> So, anyway, you bail early. You go home. cuz I. >> I don't bail early. >> You wanted a reason to go home. Just. admit it. Say you WANTED A REASON TO GO. HOME. [laughter]. >> I WILL NOT ADMIT. >> ADMIT that the AIR BUBBLE WAS LIKE, "YES.". >> YEAH. I WENT TO THE AIRPORT. My full. intention was to go to Utah. >> BUT ONCE YOU GOT AN OUT, YOU SAW IT AND. you ran RIGHT TO IT. >> I TAKE EVERY OUT. >> THAT'S RIGHT. >> YEAH. GIVE ME AN OUT. GIVE ME A BETTER. PLANE. >> I AIR bubbleless plane.

>> Okay. >> Okay. >> All right. >> All right. >> Well, that plane still made it. >> Okay. I did not. >> And you were at home. >> I was asleep. >> I know. >> Yeah. In my comfy bed. >> I know. >> King size, by the way. >> What does that mean? Anything? What does. that comfortable? >> So, you're just bragging about the. rewards you get for doing less work. >> That's it, folks. You can do less [ __ ]. and you still. >> When you advertise for mattresses on a. podcast, sometimes they give you a free. kingsiz bed green mattress. Avocado. green mattress. >> Yeah, avocado green mattresses. The best. mattresses in the world. Made out of. bamboo sticks and whatnot. [laughter].

>> Okay. >> Um, what I'm saying to you is that. >> you [ __ ] bailed. >> I tried. >> And you should have just said sorry. >> Work. I'm not going to say sorry. I. refuse to say. >> I know. I know. I know. Cuz you don't. care. >> I do care. >> You didn't want to do it anyway. >> I was at the airport. I was on the. flight. What are you talking about? >> But once you But once it got delayed Oh, you don't wait. >> No. >> Oh, good. >> Yeah, I don't wait. >> Okay. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. If I'm going to go I'm. going to see Disclosure Day Wednesday. >> Okay. I know the bad reviews. Okay.

>> I haven't heard anything. >> Yeah. But if I wait in line, I will not. >> That's it's just the way I do it. >> Good. >> Yeah. I don't like lines. I don't like. waiting around. I don't like. probabilities. There's probably a chance. it's not going to take off. Then I'm. going to spend 3 hours at the airport. for nothing. >> What's the difference? But it is for. something because I went out of my way. to make sure that I DID. >> CUZ YOUR PLANE TOOK OFF ON TIME. >> IT DOESN'T MATTER. I WOULD HAVE WAITED. >> I don't think you would have. I. >> ask these guys. Would I have waited at. the [ __ ] airport to go to Would I. have waited? OF. >> COURSE. OF COURSE I WOULD HAVE WAITED.

>> I WOULD HAVE WAITED ALL [ __ ] DAY. BECAUSE WE MADE A COMMITMENT AND I WAS. GOING TO DO IT. >> I IF YOU'RE GOING TO RAISE YOUR VOICE, I'M GOING TO I ASKED I ASKED Melanie. about the JSX. >> Melanie had the [ __ ] date wrong. >> Your assistant didn't even have the. right date. >> That's how WE DO IT IN MY COMPANY. >> I get it. >> You know what I mean? >> They don't have JSX SLC. >> No, they don't. I discovered that through exploring. So. I did some exploring as well. >> There were another flight you could have. taken. Same airline. Same airline.

>> All right. So the next flight was So I. had gotten there at um 7:30. The next. flight was at 12:30. [laughter]. >> Okay. So what you're telling me is and I. and I assume and you know when you. assume you make an ass out of you and. me. We know that term, right? Yeah, >> but I'm in an assumption. that that line to the front desk is so. [ __ ] long. They're all trying to get. on to that 12:30 flight cuz of the air. bubble situation here, right? There's no.

way I'm going to get on that flight. >> First class ticket. >> Yeah. Here's another thing I was going. to ask you is is there a possibility cuz. this has happened to me before. Me. having a first class ticket, right? The. flight being cancelceled, I have to get. on another flight, right? And then I. don't have first class anymore. I think there are there. >> So when I'm my point is is that there's. that probability as well. >> What does that matter? >> I would I I won't fly. >> I didn't fly first class from Seattle. >> That's your rules. >> It's not a rule. It's just a thing I I'm. willing to do for the show.

It's a thing I'm willing to do to make. sure that these things happen because we. we've done so much for the show. >> Well, I'm going to New York. >> And guess what? >> What? >> As long as it takes off in time. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. And there's no air bubbles. You. might you might be doing one or two of. those alone. >> Okay, >> we'll see. >> You know what? I'm willing to do many. alone. >> Do it. I will. >> Okay, I will. >> Okay. And what [clears throat] I'm going. to say to you is. >> go ahead and say you're never.

ever. going to get an apology from me. >> That's fine. Over Utah and I'll tell you. this. That's in your face. I run the. business side of this. >> I understand. I will make sure that we. [ __ ] you over. [laughter]. >> God will real. [laughter and clears throat]. >> I'm going to pay you in Chinese yen. >> Okay. Okay. That's how they're getting. that oil money from Iran. [laughter]. >> And I I and us Asians. What?

>> Moving on. Because nobody cares about. this [ __ ] [ __ ] of us. Anyway, go watch me on impulsive. On a more fun. note. >> No, I I just It's not done because we. have. >> No, you and I are done. >> I know. You and I are done, but I still. have this. >> Oh, yeah. [ __ ] him. >> No, no. Let Let me tell you what. happened with him. >> I'm going to tell you what happened with. him, right? >> Called me. >> So, no, no, just stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. >> And now I feel good again. >> I feel good. Salt Lake is washed away. >> SALT SALT WASTE is behind us. >> It's way back there. >> Yeah. It's way way back there. >> Salt waste is the name of the.

>> Yeah. Yeah. [laughter] All right. So, all morning, right, [snorts]. >> Carlos and I are talking at the Burbank. airport. >> Right. >> Right. Probably I you can look at my. phone probably 12 calls. >> Yeah. He told me talk to. >> back and forth and then at the end I'm. like I'm going home and then you say go. home. >> Yeah. Yeah. You had to talk to him like. that. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He goes, "Yeah, just go home.". >> First of all, >> he's like. >> that should have been brought up at the. very beginning. >> He goes, "Andrew can do it on his own.". >> I did not say that. I believe you did.

>> I didn't say that. >> Did you tell him to go home? >> I said go home because. >> then I believed what he just said. Yeah, Andrew. That's how a parent talks to a. kid when they want. >> Is he just interjecting information that. wasn't really there? Because you did. admit that you said go home. >> I said go home. >> What did you say after go home? >> We probably hung up after that. >> No. No, you did. Oh, go home. Hung up. No, that's not what happened. [laughter]. That's insane. Go home. Beep. No, there's no way. No. No. >> Yeah. Like an agent from the '9s. They. don't want you. Go home. >> So then and then back I'm at home. I. called them. >> I feel kind of weird. I'm home. He's.

like putting this all on me now. So then. he said, "Don't feel weird. Andrew can. do it alone.". >> Yeah. And also take a good rest. Which I. did. And thank you for that advice. >> I did. >> Right. Right. Right. So here's. >> I knew it, dude. >> All right. No way. >> I knew it. >> All right. So he knows now that I'm not. in Utah. >> Annoying. >> I call him Saturday night. I call him. Saturday night. Right. >> 12 hours later. >> 12 hours later. And I go, "What are you. doing?" I just hear music and like. >> partying. >> women going Yeah. Just You mean you.

said, "Let me get out of here real. quick, man. I'm in the troubador, man. Right. So, I can see him walk out. The. noise get less and less. Right. >> He goes, "Uh, did you make it back from. Utah?". >> You doing drugs? >> That's why I asked, "Are you on drugs?". "No, no, no. I just I forgot, man.". >> Did you do drugs at the Trouad? >> Of course. I didn't expect my boss to. call me late at night. >> Who'd you go see? >> It was like a fish cover band for a. friend's birthday. >> You don't even like fish. >> Yeah, fish cover band. >> Yeah, but I like Molly. >> Okay.

>> Okay, >> Carlos. So Carlos just and I asked him, "Are you on drug?" He goes, "No, >> we got to fire everybody from this. show.". >> I know. I know. It's ridiculous. >> How did you not remember the episode of. the morning? >> Because to me it was like a different. dreamland. I'm in. >> Oh, you're in different. >> You know when you start an episode and. on a plane you fall asleep, you wake up. He forgot which episode he was on. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> So last night late at night, you want to. watch a You want to watch something that. you shouldn't watch in the evening? >> Maternal Instinct. >> Oh yeah. >> Oh my god. >> It's a movie. No, it's a documentary.

Mother's Instinct. I'm sorry. Is that. what it's called? On Netflix, >> dude. It's atrocious. >> Oh, I want to watch it. >> This [ __ ] chick. >> Okay, I want to watch it. >> Maternal Instinct. That was right. >> Yeah. M I want to watch it. >> This girl. >> Okay. Don't Don't tell me anything about. it. >> I'm not going to say anything about it. All I'll say is. >> Yeah. >> In the history of these kind of [ __ ]. up wild scenarios, >> Yeah. >> you've never seen someone layer. something to this degree. >> It It's going to blow your mind. Maybe. some people at home have already heard. the story and it's cruising on Netflix.

so everyone's watching it. >> Oh god, I gotta watch Widows Bay and now. this. >> You got to watch both. But I will say. don't watch this right before you go to. bed. >> Okay. I. >> cuz the end of it is disgusting. >> cuz there was another documentary kind. of like this before. That was a big. sensation, >> right? That's her and her her husband. >> What was that one? >> Oh, the one with the girl crashed into. the water. >> Oh, cra No, no, no. The the girl No, the. mom that was um catfishing her daughter. >> Yeah. >> What was that one called? That cap. >> Oh, dude. I I don't want to say. anything, but god, do I want to say. something.

>> No, you can. But about maternal. >> What was that called? >> Yeah, that that documentary. What was. that called? >> Unknown number. The high school captain. >> Unknown number. >> Yeah, that Did you see that? >> Yeah, dude. Yeah, >> that w that woman This woman is insane. They're still cool now, by the way. >> Like it's like they're fine. >> I I know that those that relationship is. good in maternal instinct. Is Is that. what it's called? >> Yeah. >> Is that relationship fine? >> Oh, dude. When I say this, >> Yeah. I'm trying to do it very. politically so I don't give anything. away. >> Yeah.

>> Don't Don't. >> The amount of pe Don't show photos. because then it's gonna give stuff away. The amount of people that this woman. like [ __ ] over basically because of. what she did. >> too much already. >> It's like it's like remember how. remember when we first learned about. Ponzi schemes. >> and we saw what made off like and how. the tree kept going of like and this guy. got [ __ ] because of this this this and. this person lost this this this this. chick. >> Okay, I get it. It's Can Let me Can I. Can I guess what it's about? >> Sure. >> Okay. A mother. >> You're there. You're halfway there.

>> Okay, good. A mother, right? >> And she um supposedly is a Christian. >> Yeah. There was no religious intent in. this at all. >> Yeah. But there's a hidden subtext. >> Well, they're in the South. [laughter]. >> Yeah. They're in the South, so Yeah. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And she creates She. says it's gold, but it's really It's a. cross and it's a necklace. >> Okay. [laughter] All right. >> I like it. >> Right. Right. And she says it's real d. blood diamonds. >> Uh-huh. >> Yeah. Yeah. And she she sells it to her. whole family. I I don't know what it's. about. [laughter] I think I'm already.

off. >> I can I can just tell you that it's one. of the greatest webs any human's ever. spun. And it ends tragically. >> Well, obviously through the picture I. see that she's in prison. >> No, that's actually not what that is. >> That's what she dresses like. >> No, she's being This is her being. investigated. This is her just being. questioned. So she dresses in all blue. >> Well, when they arrested you, you're. just in question. She's not in prison. for this right now. >> For this? For this? For this? >> But the clothing though that she's. wearing, that's her own personal.

clothing. >> Kids got great wardrobe, great style. >> That's a pretty close model. >> It's uh. >> I like a lot of. >> It's locked up chic. >> Yeah. [laughter]. >> Yeah. So, it's going to take 30 years to. get nanotechnology. I mean, people are. saying like AI is catching up. We're. going to have nanotechnology. And it's. like, dude, it's going to take. >> Hello. What? Breaking sports news. This. is big, Bobby. This is very, very, very. big. Lonnie the Huck Hawkins, 2004's. number one golfer in the world, three-time major champion, is attempting. a comeback. He needs one more major to.

complete the Grand Slam. The Grand Slam. Who are you talking about, dude? Lonnie, what? >> Clearly, I'm talking about Lonnie the. Hawk Hawkins. The greatest. >> THE GREATEST OF WHAT? >> THREE MAJORS, THE VISOR, THE HAIR. Come. on, Bobby. The greatest golfer to ever. pick up a club. >> Okay. I don't know anything about golf. >> Can he come back and do it again? Who. knows? >> DO WHAT AGAIN? >> CAN he win? Will he win? >> Who's L? Okay.

>> Lonnie the Hawk Hawkins. >> Okay, so who's Lonnie? >> He will win. >> Okay, he will. Can I ask some questions? >> Will he win? >> Yes, >> I hope so. >> I hope so, too. That he'll win. But who. is Lonnie Hawkins? >> Maybe all the power is in the visor. That visor. >> This visor now. >> It looks pretty powerful, dude. >> But I doubt I doubt I I don't What? >> Put one on. >> I'm not gonna. >> put one on. >> Oh god. Oh my god. >> We look absurd, but we're champions now.

>> Oh my god. I feel the power. >> Do you feel the power of the Hawk? >> I feel so much more confident than I. ever have been or WILL BE. I I I BELIEVE. IN THE LAWN. >> YOU HAVE TO. >> I do. Tell me more. bleach blonde hair, bleach blonde hair, >> the colored shirts, the swagger, the. ex-wife who doesn't believe in you means. nothing to Lonnie the Hawk Hawkins. because NOW. >> BECAUSE HE'S THE MAN. >> THE COMEBACK IS REAL. >> AND he's have a comeback and he's the. man and he's going to do it. >> He must. He will. He can.

>> But he might not. >> He should. >> But he will. >> He should. >> He will. He definitely will. Right. >> Do you think Lonnie the Hawk Hawkins can. actually complete the Grand Slam? He. needs one more major. His body. Robert. says retire. His heart says no way. >> Yeah. I'm going to take the hat off now. I don't think he can. >> Really? >> Yeah. Well, hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. >> He will. AGE. >> HE WILL. >> AT HIS AGE. >> HE WILL AT [screaming] HIS AGE. HE'S A. CHAMPION. HE'S CANOR. LONNIE THE.

HAWKKINS. >> CAN HE WIN A MAJOR at his age? His age. is close to your age. >> Yeah. And you know what? My age. Yes, he. can. >> Is his is. >> His bones are going to ache. His legs. are going to creek. His mind's going to. be disheveled. But at the end of the. day, he's going to persevere. He's going. to rise to the occasion because he's the. hawking of Lonnie. All Lonnie Hawkins. >> He's the Hawk. Lonnie the Hawk Hawkins. Yeah. Yeah. Is this inspiring or. delusional? Is Lonnie the Hawk. inspirational? >> It's not delusional. It's inspiring. >> You must believe. >> I believe now. >> Should Lonnie's son, Lance, support his. dad's comeback or stage an intervention?

>> I think he should. >> You think he should support his father? >> Well, I think in a family dynamic, I. think that's the healthiest choice. Well, don't be upset because you no. longer have a father because. >> my dad died. >> He did. >> Yes. >> But that's not the case here. Lonnie the. Hawk Hawkins. >> Okay. >> The Hawk premieres July 16th on Netflix. Lonnie Hawkins, three majors. One more. for the Grand Slam. Watch it on Netflix. on July 16th. >> All right. I I'll give my advice. >> You'll watch The Hawk on July 16th on.

Netflix. >> But if Let me say something. If the. visor doesn't make him better, I'm out. >> That's fine. >> Okay. So everyone at home, please watch. The Hawk July 16th on Netflix with. Lonnie the Hawk. Hawkins. >> Mountain Dew. >> Hey Bobby, America is 250 years old. >> Birthday America. >> An old lady. She is a beautiful lady. And I'm telling you, why not pop a. little Mountain Dew while you get. together with your friends this summer? Cuz it's delicious. And And.

>> Yeah. >> And. >> it's an iconic drink. >> It's an iconic drink. >> It's Mountain Dew. An American original. just like you, Andrew. >> Just like you. >> Yeah, >> that's right. Family fishing, lakeside. hangs, road trips, rounds of golf. concerts. I don't care where you are. Grab yourself a do. It's tasting great. since 48. The bold taste you know and. love. It's got proud American roots, baby. >> Mhm. >> And when I drank it, it felt like pure. America, dude. Right in my bloodst. You. see two bald eagles flying by. >> Yeah. >> Mountain Dew. It's a great way to start.

a damn good time. Enjoy the refreshing. citrus kick of Mountain Dew. An American. original tasting great since 48. Wow. Look for Mountain Dew in stores near you. at mountainwe.com. That's. mountaindue.com. Quo qo. Running a business means you're. always reachable until you're not. And. the moment you miss that call, that. text, that follow-up, a competitor is. the one that picks it up. >> That's right. >> That's why today's episode is brought to. you by Quo, spelled Quo, the business. phone system built so you never miss an.

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>> Quo's got built-in AI agents. They. handle after hours calls, answers. questions, and even books appointments. so you never miss a lead, even when your. team is offline. Money is on the line. Always say hello with Quo. Try Quo for. free. Plus, get 20% off your first 6. months when you go to. quo.com/badfriends. >> That's quo. Quo.combadfriends. >> So, I flip over. This is insane. I flip. over my furniture yesterday. Yeah. because my wife's like, "Hey, we want to.

get new cushions before like my family. comes in and stuff because they're old. and they're [ __ ] up and they've been. outside forever." And I was like, "All. right." So, I flip over the chairs cuz. I'm going to spray them down and clean. them. >> Five. Right where I've sit all the time. >> I Let me guess. >> Five. >> What? >> Black Widows. >> Oh my god. >> Five. And their eggs are all inside the. arm of the chair. >> You're so It was the Jackson 5, dude. >> Is that who? [laughter]. >> Yeah. >> I was like, they singing ABC. Were they. singing ABC? Yeah. [laughter].

>> 2. >> Five. Five black widows underneath. And. they had eggs. Baby baby eggs. underneath. >> Wow. >> So I had to look it up because I was. like, what is that? Does that kill It. doesn't kill people. >> But dogs it does. >> It does kill dogs. I I looked that up. It because the venom is so the human to. humans I guess it's not. >> it's not strong enough to do anything to. us, but it can paralyze a piece of your. body if the venom seeps in the right. place. highly potent neurotoxin. primarily composed of whatever.

a female black widow girl when. >> Yeah. And anyway, oh so there's another. movie that I couldn't sleep for two days. that Carlos saw. >> What? God, >> what? >> It's insane. >> It's insane. >> It's called Burger Infinity. >> No, it's not. No way. That's the name. >> It's called Buffet Infinity. >> It's called Buffet. >> It's so good. >> Burger Infinity is so funny. Buffet. Infinity. Just everyone gets sick and. dies from a from a buffet. >> Yeah. No, it's it's a movie.

>> Oh, it's a movie. This is not a. documentary. >> No, it's a movie set all in commercials. >> Oh, brilliant. >> From a local town. >> It's Netflix. >> Mhm. No, no, no. I rented it. >> Yeah. Yeah. And it is I couldn't sleep. for two days after watching it and I've. seen it three times since. >> that's Yeah, I've seen it three. >> I got I got to watch. >> because No, you're you're going to hate. it. This is not your thing. >> What do you mean? >> This is our thing. Mone liked it too. Uh, this is our thing. Guess I won't be. in. >> This is not your thing. >> Why? >> You're It's gonna drive you crazy. And.

it's it's it's. >> that's like the fun of it. >> It's annoying. >> No, it's just It just never stops. commercials. It's all commercials for. >> two hours. >> Oh, yeah. No, I don't want to watch that. way. >> But you follow the story that way. >> It's an interesting pitch. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> But two hours of commercials is heavy. >> But then you It's like the movie They. Live where as as if you can wear the. glasses now. Ah, so you're okay. No, maybe I do like that. >> And and um it's uh you you look at. billboards differently. You look at. advertisement differently.

>> Who did this and how when did this come. out? >> Is this brand new or it's been out for a. minute? >> Uh I it's pretty new. It it's a Canadian. film. >> Yeah. >> Simon Glassman. >> 2025 it came out. >> Yeah. Yeah. When did it get on Rotten. Tomatoes? >> Second City T. So it's produced by a. bunch of those Second City guys. >> Yeah. I I know some people I recognize. >> Oh, that's cool. >> Yeah. Can you What was the um um Rotten. Tomatoes? >> Yeah, I got it. >> Okay. >> 100. >> Shut up. >> Not a lot of review about 100% of Rott. Rotten Tomatoes. >> No, 14 reviews though. It's not a real.

number. It's got to get reviewed. >> Yeah, it wasn't like reviewed reviewed, but I mean it's good. >> No, that's sick. I I think I might try. it. >> I mean, >> I'm going to hate it. You're right. Because it does. >> I'm just going to let you know it's a. set of commercials from the small town. in Canada, right? And in the be. beginning of the movie, it's kind of. just like, you know, your bland local. television commercials from small. businesses, right? But then as the. commercials continue, it gets more. nefarious. >> All right, I'm going to try it. >> Yeah. Yeah. And it and then um.

>> it's awesome. >> It's [ __ ] awesome. It really is. >> And it's uh it's a little disturbing. >> I like that though. >> It's Yeah, >> we need a little bit more disturbing. The world isn't [ __ ] up enough. Carlos. watched every second of UFC. Did you see. that? >> For sure he did. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> Yeah. >> I thought like a bomb was going to go. off or something. I just wanted. >> What? Why? What do you mean? Like an. assassination attempt? >> Yeah. I'd be like, "Oh, I got. >> Oh my god. Dark dark insane. You're a. lun. You're a lunatic. >> You're a lunatic. >> To see like half the government go away.

in one moment would be. >> Oh my god. You're going What is going on. with you, dude? >> It's good or bad? I'm just. >> You're deep into the internet, dude. >> Oh, you have Tik Tok. Oh, this about. Buffet Infinity." He was like, "Oh, it's. about data centers, man. That's what. it's really about. >> Could be though. >> But that's Tik Tok. >> I'm gonna watch it. >> and you're saying I have. >> So you saw a Tik Tok reviewer go off. about it. That's why you saw someone on. TikTok talking about it and then you got. in your head. >> And it starts there and it ends with. tuberculosis. [laughter]. >> It always does. It starts Dude, I've. been I've been down the holes. I've been.

down the holes where you go, this is. kind of interesting. >> MY HO MY holes at I can't reveal my. holes. >> Everybody's seen your holes. >> Yeah. Yeah. No, not my physical holes. Oh, >> my mental holes. Right. And my mental. holes. Um, no one could hear about them. because I would be on a list. >> Oh, I know. >> Well, Carlos should be on a list. >> You should be on a list, but I would be. on some sort of list. >> You get new jeans? You did, didn't you? Cuz I commented they look good. >> Yeah, I got some new uh salvage Japanese. denim. I thought it was a little. surprise for myself because I haven't. done this in a long time.

>> And were you surprised? [laughter]. >> Yes, I was surprised. I was surprised. because I. >> Very salvaged, by the way. What? >> They look very salvaged. >> They're very salvaged. And uh thank you. >> from a salvage yard. >> Yeah. In Okinawa. >> They were like, "Give me a a bumper of. an 86 Accord in those jeans.". >> Yeah, >> that's a salvage yard. >> They go, "Okay, [laughter]. >> but you want the car to get. >> Oh, I don't need the car. Just give me. the door.". >> Yeah. But um yeah, I got some new jeans. It takes a long time to wear them out. >> They look very good. They're a little.

stiff at the beginning. >> They're very stiff. >> You just got You know what you got to. do? >> Don't tell me. >> I I [laughter] What? >> Your pool. >> Your You got to put them in your coffee. pool. No, I'll tell you. Can I tell you. what to do? What? >> This is actually a really good sneaky. trick. >> Okay. >> You find a young person like a young. dude that like Richie or someone at the. studio and let him wear them for two. weeks straight because they'll [ __ ] them. up. He'll sleep in them. He'll live in. them. >> I don't want Richie's enzymes in my. jeans. >> Richie's a clean kid. >> No, no, no. I don't care. Any bi. biological matter that Richie has, I.

don't want them on my jeans. >> Okay. What about Carlos? Would you let. him rock your jeans? >> No. Because you don't wash raw denim. that I don't want his enzymes or you. know I mean cells or any of that on my. jeans. >> None of his epidermis should land in. your. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Whatever you do in my. jeans, your little rave parties that you. go to, I don't want them on my jeans. >> You put them on and they're like. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> They would be like white on the inside. >> Yeah. All right. >> Tuberculosis. >> Oh, TV jeans. TV jeans. >> TBT jeans. >> No, I'm going to do them on my own. I've.

done them before. I'm just going to do. them. I went hiking in them yesterday. and people were looking at me weird. >> No, that's actually smart hiking in. them. >> Yeah, because there's a And you're not. going to [ __ ] believe this [ __ ]. dude. [laughter]. I'm So. >> I bet I am. >> It's by my house, right? There's a. little hockey hiking trail. >> Yeah. >> You know that one? >> Oh, yeah. >> Yeah. And [snorts] there's a parking. lot. >> Yeah. >> Right. So you For 15 years I've been. going there. >> Now they make you pay. >> So I get I'm done hiking. >> Mhm. >> You know, in these jeans, I go to my.

car. I got a parking ticket. I know. I. was livid about it. I went there and I. was like, "When have we had to pay for. this?" I've lived here. >> for 20 years. You've never had to pay. for that parking lot for that park. Yeah. >> And now they put a machine and they make. you pay. By the way, it's like 10 bucks. for an hour. It's something insane. >> It's insane. It's a hustle. >> Yeah. And they're like, "Well, there's. no government regulation." Cuz I walked. up to the car while he was doing it. >> We got to get out of LA. >> Yeah. That park ranger. I was like, "What is going on?". >> You know, Spencer Pratt wouldn't let. that happen. >> He would not. No. Pratt would have had. no machines in parking lots.

>> man. >> Hi. That's Is that Miss Ramen herself? >> Yeah. So, what I'm saying is is that. >> You know what? >> How do we get out? >> We got to move. This place sucks [ __ ]. Let's get the [ __ ] out of here. You know. what's so [ __ ] unfortunate? >> But you want to go to places I don't. want to go and I want to go to places. you don't want to go. >> Name a place that you want to go that I. don't want to go. Name a place. >> Hawaii. >> Fine. I'll move to Hawaii. I would love. to move to Hawaii. But guess what, buddy? What? >> Way more expensive than here. What are. you talking about? >> Taxes. Who? Everything. Everything.

>> Where's the people say Nashville? >> No, that's just like a trend. >> No. No, dude. This is real. >> People say Nashville. >> It's awesome. >> Yeah, >> I could do it. Yeah. My boy Zack. Townsen. Shout out to Look it. I'm. wearing his merch right now. It's. >> right. >> Yeah. >> This is paid vacation. He lives in. Nashville. Look, dude. >> Kurasawa. >> Oh, good merch. >> Yeah. You know him. >> Do you know him? Kurasawa. >> Yeah. >> Distressed live in Nashville. >> when he had Blackfoot. Kurasawa lives. outside of Nashville. Yeah. He lives in. Knoxville actually by University of.

Tennessee. >> I saw a movie last night called Kraken. >> You know Kraken is. >> Yeah. >> What? >> Yeah. The the Kraken from the sea. Like. the creature. >> Yeah. The sea kraken. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> And. >> Oh, this is like one of those Godzilla. versus. >> No, it it was just It's a Norwegian. movie, I guess. Yeah. >> I'm out on that. >> Yeah. It's It's. >> We made the film about the Kraken. [laughter]. >> Yeah, that's basically what it is. >> It's like I don't care. And it starts. off good, but every decision everyone.

makes in that movie is like, "WHAT ARE. YOU [ __ ] DOING?". >> NORWEGIANS DO traditionally make pretty. cool weird [ __ ]. >> Yeah. >> Like you've seen Clown, right? >> Yeah. Great. >> We should remake Clown. You and I should. do Clown. I don't even know why we don't. do Clown. >> Yeah. Let the right one in. Is that. Norwegian? >> Oh, yeah. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Great movie. But the. Kraken, it's like it shot beautifully, but I'm like, what are you Why would you. do that? >> It's bad ideas. >> Yeah. bad ideas. What we want to see is. the Kraken. >> And we want to see it killing and eating.

people. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> And throwing someone over the mountain. You want to see a Kraken throw a human. being as far as. >> Yeah. And when they show the Kraken, it's beautiful. You know what I mean? But it's like um Oh, so it doesn't. exist. [laughter]. >> It's all fake. >> Yeah. I mean, Lochness, all these. mythologies are just perceptions. >> No, this could exist, especially if we. keep up with what we're doing. Do you. know about what's happening about the. sewage from Tijana flooding San Diego. beaches? >> Have you not seen this? The Kraken may. exist if Mexico keeps dumping their. sewage. San Diego beaches are like you.

can't even swim in them now. Billions of. gallons of untreated sewage and. industrial waste flow from Mexico down. the river into Southern California. >> Wow. >> They said 150 out of 200 days they. couldn't swim in like Leo Coreo. Maybe. that was it down there, right? Isn't. that Leo Korea down there? >> Maybe. This is my theory. >> They're just throwing their poop up at. us. >> If you see a can, right? And it's. floating down. Open it. Maybe there's a. Mexican inside it. >> Oh, >> there were birds coming through the. sewage. >> Look at that, though. >> Yeah. >> So, Mexico is sending so much waste into.

into the into the ocean. You can't swim. in San Diego right now. It's poop beach. It's literally poop beach. >> Wow. >> It's [ __ ]. >> And there's no way there's no net you. could put up. >> Here's the funniest part. They were like. the news was like Mexican government is. working diligent. That's it right there. See what Mexican government is working. diligently on getting the waste out of. the water. However, they've incurred. many problems. They show a video of a. big poop pipe. It's leaking and they're. just staring at it. Yeah. >> They're just looking at a. >> Well, that's what you do at a poop pipe. when you first, you know, I mean,

>> they got to take a look at. >> Yeah. Look first. >> Oh, they're looking at and I look at. them for about 12 to 24 hours, depending. on what time I have. >> That's what it looks like from an air. view. That's all poop. >> Yeah. There's the. >> No. All Wait, all that brown part is. poop. >> That's poop, dude. >> Yeah. NASA can see it from space. >> NASA can see the poop from space in San. Diego. >> Oh my god. >> Great. Wall of China. That's so much. poop. And that's all the way up by the. military base. That's so much poop. >> That's so much poop. You can't go in the. water. >> That's cool. >> In Hawaii is there's no poo water there.

>> Some space. >> No, people don't poop in Hawaii. They're. too happy. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> It's just asai bowls and stuff. >> That's right, dude. Just fish. >> Asai bowl. >> Mahi mahi. >> Yeah. >> We don't need to poop, brother. [laughter]. >> Let's move to Where are we going to move. then? You just said it. So, Hawaii's. out. >> Okay. So, Hawaii's out. >> Nashville's one. We. >> I I think Nashville for me. Um I feel. like. >> you know I mean an Asian dude. >> I know, but look it up. Is there a. Korean contingency in Nashville? There's. got to be. >> If there isn't, I can't go. >> We'll go there for you. I'll move there.

I don't care. You know I like Koreans. >> Okay. >> Yes. There is a visible and growing. Korean population in Nashville and the. surrounding Middle Tennessee region. Right on, man. Korean. How many people? It can't be nine dudes. >> If it's 38 or more, we're in. >> Yeah. No, it's got to be at least 5,000. 5,000. Yeah. >> Oh my god. 2500 to 2,700. That's a lot. That's all you need. >> That That's not what I need. I need. thousand. >> You can build a village. >> Maybe if I go and maybe I don't know.

>> You could influence a lot of care. >> Maybe I can influence it. Maybe I can. run the 2700. >> What is it? >> Los Angeles metro area has Yeah. Three. >> Yeah. I mean I That's You know, >> you don't like many of them though. There's only half of those. >> Here's what I don't like. Um and. pertaining to you and your people. Okay. Okay. And. >> what what is it? >> And it's going to sound childish when I. say it. It's going [snorts] to sound um. like I'm being racist. >> Okay. >> Toward the whites. >> I mean, that's fair.

>> Okay. >> I do it all the time to you. >> Okay. And I want to say this is. when you're in a Korean spa, >> me. >> just in general. >> Whites. >> in general. >> Okay. >> Okay. I counted. I'm just gonna say I counted. Um, close. the steam room door all the way. >> I mean, I've never had an issue with. that. >> Okay. I have an issue with it. >> I mean, I've I was always closed the. door behind. Who's not closing the door? You ran into one. >> No, no, no. I counted and I would do I. was in the steam room with five other.

white dudes. >> and one would leave. I'd have to stand. up, close it, sit back down, and the. four other dudes because I stay in there. for like a half an hour, right? for. observation purposes only, right? Is. they all four purposely left it open. >> and I had to get up and close it. >> I thought you worked there. >> No, no. >> So, you kept getting up to close the. door, right? >> No, it's sensible. >> Thought you were on your lunch break. >> No, no. To keep the steam inside the.

steam room. >> I've never had a problem with that. >> Yeah, I have a problem with that. >> Well, whenever I had the Russian spas in. New York and the gay the little gay. ones, the little gay undergrounds. >> Yeah. >> We leave it wide open. >> Okay. That's fine. In a Russian one, you can. do that. Right. Right. But is it racist. for me to say that? Like. >> type about a race. >> No, it's because it's a Korean spa, right? >> Don't let in whites. >> I know, but you can't do that. >> Yeah, you can. You can make a private. club and you can let in whoever you. want. >> Yeah, but they don't do that.

>> Well, why don't you go Why don't you. make a private Korean spa FOR KOREA? >> JUST CLOSE THE DOOR. There's the whites. only place in the Ozarks. So you can do. those. >> Yeah, you can do it. >> Wait a minute. A whites only spa. >> No, it's a white We talked about this on. the show. The white. >> Oh, the development. Yeah, I know. And. they I only could they only let me buy. like one or two properties. [laughter]. >> Yeah, but my point is is is that a. terrible thing? >> No. >> No, it's not that big of a deal. >> It's also. >> I think I think you found a group of. guys that were friends that were.

>> No, it's a problem. Every time I go to. spa three or four times a week, I count. >> That's the problem. >> I count too when I drive. It's all bad. Haitian drivers. So, it's all the same. thing. >> Interesting. >> Interesting. What I'm want to say, let. me defend that. >> No, there's no defense for that. THAT'S. >> OH, YEAH. THERE IS A DEFENSE. OH. OH, there is a defense. >> Difference. >> Not for me. [laughter]. >> There is a difference. >> There is no different. Okay. What I'm. going to say is. >> And you we've seen your cars. >> Yeah. You've wrecked like six cars. >> Yeah.

We've already talked about this. >> Yeah, but I'm saying you're not backing. You're not going to. >> No, [laughter]. >> we leave the door open in a steam steam. room. You hit people with a three-tonon. piece of [laughter] machinery. It's. dangerous. >> I. >> One of these things doesn't kill people. [laughter]. >> Okay, let can I may I have my. opportunity? >> Factor. We you know, we've always talked. about factor. For me, eating healthy. isn't a willpower problem. It's a setup. problem for sure. >> Until you found factor. Exactly. Factors.

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>> Talkspace I I without talkspace and. therapy I don't think I'd be done dude. you know. Talkspace is the number one. rated online therapy bringing you. professional support from licensed. therapists and psychiatrists that you. can access anytime anywhere. >> and it's in network by the way. Uh talk. therapy and psychiatry is covered by. most insurers and most insured members. pay a co-pay of zero. That's a goose. egg. Bobby and I are big on therapy. We've talked about it on the show for. many, many years now. Uh, and we're not. telling you what to do, but we're.

telling you this is something that. >> I'm telling you when my dad died, right, something was going I couldn't eat or. sleep and I I didn't know what was going. on. And this has happened for months and. then I I did therapy. >> and then as soon as I talked about my. dad's situation growing up, it all I was. able to eat and sleep again. It's. attached to my body, you know, that kind. of trauma. And I think that things like. Talkspace is a lifesaver. >> That is. As a listener to this podcast, you're going to get $80 off your first. month with TalkSpace. When you go to. talkspace.com/badfriends.

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Acorns fees. Results do not predict or. represent the performance of any Acorn's. portfolio. Investment in results will. vary. Investing involves risk. Acorn. Advisor LLC and SEC registered. investment advisor for view important. disclosures at best friends. >> Why does your picture come up when I. type in bad. >> B Asian driver? That's so funny. >> Asian drivers. Is it true? >> Is that AI? >> I I don't know. >> When you walk into the steam room and. you open the door, does it go bing dong. at the Korean spot? [laughter]. >> No, it makes no noise. No. All I hear. >> just a woman in the corner going, "You. break your bike." [laughter]. >> All right, let me defend Asian drivers.

if I if I may. Okay, >> try. >> There's two China. Dude, look at this. I. I understand that, right? He was in a. hurry. He was [laughter] late for work. He was late for work. >> That'd be Japan. >> Yeah. Okay. So, here's my take on it. All right. Yeah. >> I feel like that every race has their. bad drivers because some a lot of times. Yeah. I'm driving. >> They all move here. [laughter]. >> I'm a lot of times. >> all of the bad Asian drivers moved here. >> That's why that's why. >> Asians kicked them out of their original. country of origin.

>> because they couldn't drive. >> Yeah. If you fail your driving test in. China, they send you to the United. States. >> That's not true. That's absolutely. That's a good joke, though. >> That's how the stereotype. [laughter]. >> That's a joke. No. >> Get out of here. >> Yeah. Okay. I You know, >> sir for you. [laughter]. >> I CAN'T DEFEND. I CAN'T DEFEND IT THEN. >> IT'S IMPOSSIBLE. >> YOU'RE NOT ALLOWING ME TO DEFEND IT. >> CUZ YOU'RE THINKING ABOUT what you might. be. YOU [laughter] CAN'T EVEN MAKE UP. >> I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT I WAS GOING TO SAY, BUT LET ME GET IT OUT. NO INTERRUPTIONS, PLEASE. >> FINE, GUYS. No jokes. >> All right. No interruptions, please. Okay. >> No comedy. There's two points I want to.

make now. All right. Now I have two. points. >> Oh, it's growing. >> All right. [clears throat] Number one is. I'm [laughter] I what? I'm a driver. where stop signs and stop lights are. suggest suggestion. >> Sure. >> Right. >> So it's like late at night at 3:00 in. the morning if I'm at a stoplight and I. look around and there's no one around, I. just run right through it. >> Like a bad driver. >> No, that's not a bad driver. >> I mean, sure. >> No, that's gangster. >> That's gangster. I'm a gang. It's It is. illegal. >> And you're a bad driver. And I hope you. hit a little kid on a bike who you don't.

see crossing one time when you [ __ ]. around and find out. >> Oh, that's a terrible thing to wish on. me. >> Stop running through. Stop running. through lights. >> At three in the morning, >> a kid could be out there. A guy, teenager in summer, it's summer. He. could be riding his bike around the. neighborhood. >> Yeah, I have lights that come out called. headlights. >> Well, now you have your [laughter] Now. you have your glasses. >> You can see glasses. I have headlights. Okay. And also, um I don't care about. scratches and dings. Your Prius look. like it was shipped back here from Iran. It look like it's spent a term in Iran.

>> I've already made this [ __ ] like in. Thailand. All right. Or you go to any. place in Asia, right? >> They get [laughter] in a collision, they'll roll down the window and they'll. go, "We okay? You okay? I'm okay." And. they drive on. There's no insurance. You. know what I mean? Exchange. >> supposed to happen. You hit people all. the time in an Asian country. It seems. there's a correlation between the. >> No, no, no. It's that we don't care. about dings, scratches, and. >> but you're also referencing a place. where the the cars are valued at. probably like two donkeys and a you know.

and a [laughter] handshake. >> and an egg. Don't forget the. >> egg. Two donkeys and an egg. So, I'm. saying here we have our vehicles are. more expensive. >> Okay. In China, they do it too. >> Yeah. Too many [ __ ] people. >> No, it's like, oh, let move on. Let move. on. You know what I mean? That's how I. am. Okay. If I get a ding, I move on. But no, you do a slight little bumper. tap, RIGHT? PULL OVER. >> Pull over. >> Right. And we exchange cops come. I. mean, what the [ __ ] are we doing here? It's insane. >> Make up your own Korean only.

>> All right. So, that's number one. >> What was number one? >> That was number two. >> Can you summarize it? >> Oh, number two is this, right? There's. two types of drivers. Okay. In every. >> drivers and everyone else. >> No, no, no, no. [laughter] Yeah, I've. driven behind Armenians and and they. drive white people. Remember the bumper. sticker I said the other day? If you get. too close, I slow down. >> Yeah, >> it was a white person. >> That's funny. >> Yeah, I know it's funny, but she really. means it for you to put that in on your. car. >> Different. It's a she. >> Yeah,

>> they're all that. Okay. So, what I don't. know what you're doing. >> All right. So what I'm saying is is that. um you know there's a lot of but then. you look at [ __ ] Tokyo Drift Fast and. Furious Sun Kang they can all drive. >> Yeah, but he's the exception. >> No, no, no. That's the exception to the. rules, right? Some of us are. >> the one the one guy that was an F1 Yuki. Senota, he got he got out. He's gone. >> Yeah, I know. >> He couldn't keep up. >> Yeah, he can keep up. >> No, he didn't. Obviously, he didn't. He's gone. He's no. >> Versappen.

Okay. [snorts]. >> I'm telling you, dog. You guys are the. wor I don't know what it is. It's in. your genetic code. It's not even like a. >> Are we good at math? >> Huh? >> Are we good at math? >> Yes. Some stereotypes are good. Some are. not good. >> We're better at school. >> You're better at school. >> You're sitting down. That's. >> How about engineering? >> It's just a room. >> Engineering. You guys are great. >> Oh, I can take bad driving. >> Yeah, it's the wor Yeah, you're the. worst. >> The car, just don't drive it. >> Yeah, you can build the car, just don't. drive it. Very good. >> That's a very good. Yeah. Okay, good. The AI says I have confirmation bias.

>> Confirmation bias? Yeah. >> What does that mean? >> Yeah. Perce uh it's a people hold a. preconceived stereotype. Selectively. remember. >> it's preconceived. Okay. >> H. >> Yeah. >> You're you have confirmation bias. >> Okay. I've been Another thing that I. want to say. All right. And I'm not. defending anything myself included. Right. >> But I'm a master of the male naked body. >> Yeah. >> Okay. >> I mean you're one of them. Yeah. >> Yeah. And I go to the spa all the time. >> Sure. >> I'm going to go to one tonight.

>> Okay. >> Okay. And in in the spas I go, there's. every race and I've seen every penis. size. >> Yeah. >> Right. And the stereot I saw one Asian. dude with a button penis. >> Okay. It was so small. It was like this. I wanted to murder him [laughter]. >> because he's the guy he's the guy. >> Confirmation bias. >> Yeah. Confirmation. Yeah. Confirmation. He's the guy that we all have the. stereotype. Some d white dude saw that. dude, you mean in Pearl Harbor or. whatever and spread that rumor.

>> Sure. >> Yeah. I mean, it was like American. propaganda or whatever. >> It worked. >> Yeah, it did work, right? >> We all heard about it. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> And so, um, >> it was that and Marilyn Manson removed a. rib to suck his own penis. The same kind. of rumor. >> Yeah. Yeah. Same kind of rumor. >> And they worked. >> So, what I'm saying is is that But I've. seen a lot of Asian dudes are carrying a. lift a heavy load. >> Sure. I have. >> I would say there's probably a few guys. out there doing okay. >> I No, I I would say I compare to Now the. Blacks for sure. >> Yeah, they're pretty good.

>> No, they're the best. >> I've seen them. >> Yeah. >> You know what I mean? Can we talk about. this even what we're saying? Okay. >> Is this this confirmation bias or not? >> I don't Yeah, it's not confirmation. bias. It's reality. >> Yeah. Right. >> Imagine being a black guy with a small. penis. >> So sad. >> Yeah, that would be the saddest sad cuz. being an Asian guy with a small penis, big deal. Make a joke about it. Make a. career of it. >> Well, you. >> being a white guy with a small penis, big deal. Go get money and you'll be. fine. >> Yeah. >> Being a black guy with a small penis, >> it's sad. >> All your other black friends are going.

to go, "Damn, dog.". >> Yeah. What happened? >> That's a bummer. >> Yeah. >> That's just that you just got to be. >> But I I'll tell you this. So, I I used. to belong to some porn sites. >> for my masturbation activities. >> Yeah. I don't do it anymore. >> We would assume. Yeah. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> Yeah. We never thought you were. >> Yeah. researching. >> Yeah. And I there's one that I had saved. with a black dwarf, >> right, with that's in the porn. >> and his penis was triple the size of any. other penis I've ever seen.

>> That's so funny. >> Yeah. So it's like even the dwarves have. big ones. >> Hey, God God was on something. He built. him. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He built him. different. >> He built him different. Yeah. He goes, >> "What if I just make his penis huge?". >> Yeah. >> Don't do that. Don't. >> You're not going to be able to play. basketball. >> Yeah. [laughter]. You're still not going to be able to. swim. >> Big BDLP. >> Yeah, >> the BDLP. Oh, >> there's an LP love show now. >> Oh, >> bring this up. There's like a new kind. of reality little person love show. And.

I'm so excited to watch it. Little. Person. >> Is that TLC? >> I It's got to be TLC. >> Little Oh, wait. >> Oh, what's it called? >> Little Singles. >> Little Singles. Yeah, Little Singles. [laughter]. >> Little Singles. >> Little Singles. >> Little Singles. Wow. >> Oh, >> yeah. You know, craft cheese, you know, they're called singles, right? The. single slices. >> Yeah. >> I like that. Two more. It's a. >> How is there only five of them. >> on a dating show? Oh, there's more.

>> Uhuh. >> No, that looks like Yeah. >> No, that's only those five. Those are. the main five. I think they're all like. friends or I have no idea. >> That's 80% of the population. [laughter]. I mean, how only five? Well, because. they all have to fit up in that tree. No, but it's I I think they're looking. for the best looking. [laughter]. >> They're making cookies. [laughter]. >> Are they making cookies? >> Yeah. Where's the chocolate? >> Yeah. >> Stop it. Yeah. >> Look at it. >> She's never gone to a grocery store.

>> Yeah. It's too high. Do they give them. Do they give them What do they give. them? Full apples when they get on those. couches. Give me a full apple, dude. [laughter]. Can't do half apples. Well, she's never been to a grocery. store. >> She had anxiety about being an L. >> Well, dude, imagine those shelves are so. big. >> Yeah, I can't even reach. >> I was going to say he can't hit the top. >> Yeah, I can't hit the top. I have to. ask. >> You mean my girlfriend's 510? So, I go. >> She can do it. >> I go get that. >> That's so funny. >> Yeah, I don't care. >> I do want to watch this. What? It's on. Netflix. What is this on?

>> Yeah. >> TLC. >> Little singles, >> man. TLC keeps making bangers, huh? >> Yeah. >> Pool looks nice. Yeah. This cup in the. water. I want When is Sex on the. Spectrum going to happen? >> You just want to watch it. >> Don't you want to watch it? >> No. >> You don't want to watch it? >> No, but I'm teeing up your joke in my. mind. >> Yeah. >> I can hear it in my head. >> Yeah. >> Like I can literally hear the joke. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> It's a great joke. >> Okay. >> Can't say it. I guess. Well, it's in the. special. >> It's in the special. Yeah.

>> Right. >> Yeah. >> So good. >> Yeah. >> Well, the World Cup's going on and I'm. so sorry. Do you think USA You're a You. are a diehard football fan. Do you think. USA has even a shot? I I'll tell you. who's not going to win. >> Who? >> Brazil. >> They look terrible. >> Okay, good. >> Spain has the best. >> Spain has the best chance. >> Their midfield is so old. I can't even. believe it. >> Okay, dude. We are plus 3,300 right now. >> Yeah, >> that's a great bet. >> I just put 10 bucks on that. >> You would? >> Yeah. >> There's no way it's going to happen. >> Yeah.

>> I mean, because I know I know football. and I know France's team and I know. England's team, I know Portugal's team. Um. they're just they're it's like. >> the longest of the long shots. We're the. longest of the long shots. >> They just have their bench their bench. is a World Cup team. >> Sure. >> You know, so it's like um. >> again I know nothing about. >> Yeah. I mean I mean France has Mbappe. I. mean they have uh Dembele. They've got. really good players. Dude, >> is Muganu on that team?

>> And Muntu Yeah. is on He's on the bench. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> Mbappé is French. Yeah. >> Where's he from? >> France. >> Which one? [laughter]. >> The one in Ghana. >> Yeah, that sounds right. >> Yeah. Yeah. Well, even Bowan from the US. team was just born in Brooklyn but never. lived here. >> Yeah. He moved and moved. Yeah. He to. London. Yeah. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yes. And then. >> but it's where you're born is what you. can do. Or your parents. >> Well, he has dual citizenship, but he he. wasn't going to get on.

>> the England squad. >> That's bad news. >> Which is cool because he's like, "Oh, [ __ ] it. I'll just play for America. then. >> Yeah, I would do the same [ __ ] It's. like what Eileen Goo remember she play. she rode for China even though she could. have rode for us. >> Yeah. And I'm rooting for him because he. was at the Arsenal Academy. >> Oh, >> and they let him go. >> He wasn't good enough. >> No, they sometimes they. >> he's not good enough to be a gooner. That's just how it goes. No, but I'm but. listen. Ez. was in the Arsenal. uh academy, got let go, played for.

shitty teams, finally got on Crystal. Palace, and then Arsenal made him offer. when he was 27 years old. >> Wow. >> So, Bagan can come home. >> Bagan can come home. That'll be a song. they sing. >> Yeah. Bagan can't come. >> Bagan can come home. Yeah. >> I love those songs. The fact that we. haven't adopted that even a little bit. in the States and any of our sports. blows my mind. We still got the [ __ ]. wave. >> We still got the [ __ ] wave. Every. time I go to a Dodger game and they. start it, I go like this. No. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Or the.

hand, the gigantic hand. >> Cut it out. >> I have 15 of those at home. >> Stop it. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> Do you know where the wave started, by. the way, though? >> California. >> Why? >> Should have. Wouldn't you think it would. start here? Started up north. >> The Beach Boys. >> Wouldn't it be nice to start a wave? >> The wave started up in San Francisco. >> Wow. What if. >> Oh, Oakland. Sorry. >> Okay. What if somebody started it and. they're like, "What the [ __ ] are you. doing?". >> It's a guy with Tourette's. >> and no one does it. And they're like, "What the [ __ ] are you doing? I'm trying. to start something." [laughter].

>> Like, who's how do you do it? Do you. have to. >> That's him right there. Crazy George. He's. >> You have to have a group of people know. what you're doing, >> dude. He's so loud. He yelled so loud. They said you could hear him at home. plate from the outfield. He would scream. so loud. >> Look at him. >> He was He was the man. >> Yeah. >> And that Spirit of Oakland will be dead. now because now they're in Vegas. Oh, dude. I I I'm also tired of USA. chanting. >> You like it? >> Love. [laughter]. >> Sometimes when I'm hooking up with my. wife, I go USA.

[clears throat]. >> Yeah. I Something about it. I'm. patriotic. >> She salutes me. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. [laughter] I know. I. know. I I'm patriotic. >> Pounding away. And she's. >> She plays the. >> But especially in. >> taps taps for me. >> Especially when they're in the. >> tapping at S. Espec Especially when they're in the. Olympics and you're like yelling USA and. then you're sitting next to like a. country that isn't, you know what I. mean? A first world country,

>> right? And then it's just like if I'm. like in front of my house and a homeless. guy walks by and me go, I OWN A HOME. I. OWN A HOME. IT FEELS like. >> Wouldn't that feel good to do? [laughter]. >> It just feels like bragging. >> Yeah. Well, if you had any context to. all the wars that we've been through and. what we've. >> I have the context. >> to fight to be this place. Yeah. We're. going to yell it in your face. >> It's the best country in the world. We're going to yell it in your face. And. especially because all these other. countries go, "You're not the best.". Okay. Then why are you both here?

>> Huh? Why are you here? Go home. Get out. of here if you don't like it. You like. it? >> Whoa. Dude, I don't like this. >> I like it. Best country in the world. >> I don't like it. This new. >> USA. USA. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I love it, dude. What. does Korea say? >> USA [laughter]. even during a Korean match. It's crazy. No. Um I don't know what they say, but. um.

South Korea unofficial universally. recognized national chat. >> Clap clap clap clap. We all do that. >> Crap crap crap crap. >> It's Oh. Oh, it's [applause]. >> No, that's actually cool. >> Yeah, >> I like that. Let's do it three times in. a row. [applause]. [applause]. >> You're right. I like it. I totally get. it. Hey, hun mean fans of Korea over. here. >> I'm going to do mine. >> What is it? >> Clap once. [snorts].

All right. [laughter] I want to gra. >> All right. Clap once and go. Right. Clap. three times. A thumbs up and another. >> Here we go. >> Wait. Write it down. Write it down. because I forgot what I said. Clap. Ooh. Clap. Clap. Clap. Ooh. No. Thumbs up. Ooh. >> Yeah. So, I even forgot. >> Clap. Ooh. Clap. Clap. Clap. Ooh. Thumbs. up. >> But clap. Ooh. Clap. Clap. Clap. Ooh. >> Ooh. With a with a thumbs up.

simultaneously. >> Okay. Zoom in, please. Clap. Ooh. Clap. Clap. Clap. Thumbs up. Ooh. Ready. >> Here we go. Ready? One, two, THREE. >> NO. SEE, YOUR RHYTHM'S OFF. >> NO. I I You're too fast. >> You're too fast. You were above me. Ready? One, two, three. >> Clap. Ooh. Oh, I had to clap. [laughter]. I just read it. I just read it. How. these shows go. This is my. >> That's why we can't work in the. business. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. [laughter] Ready? One,

two, three. >> OOH. >> NO. THUMBS UP. OOH. >> I thought it's a simultaneous. >> No. No. No. No. You thumbs up and then. Ooh. >> Okay. Here we go. Right. Right. One, TWO, THREE. OOH. >> [laughter]. >> THANK YOU FOR BEING A BAD FRIEND.