Mr. Bond & Odd Job | Ep 86 | Bad Friends
you two are bad friends who are these. two idiots. white dude i'm an asian dude. you two are disgusting. well you two or something we're bad. friends. we got another mexican in the studio i. don't think he's he's not mexican yes he. is mexican because his name is carlos. what's your last name carlos. herrera. that's ju that's not jewels um that was. andres. herrera it's herrera.
is. gets adopted by you know i mean white. people he's still toshi mama mama fuko. kiki i know he's still white though if. he was raised in a white house in like. kalamazoo michigan. he's still toshi makagoo he's he's still. he's still gonna be japanese oh that's. true yeah you can't take that away you.
can't take that away can you roll your. arse. let me hear it. say carlos. carlos. i can't do it with my tongue i could do. with my throat carlos carlos. [Laughter].
all right that's perfect dude you guys. are bragging man well yeah we got a new. one guess what i saw last night.
it was. really good man i love it i love that. you know i realized when i was watching. i go i could never be james bond danny. craig yeah now do you think he's the. best james bond. yeah you think over connery. yeah. really yeah wow what do you say fans. because the best one you think dan. you're crazy because i don't look at it. i never looked at conrad i was a kid i. never really said i would suck that. guy's dick you wouldn't i would [ __ ]. say no.
why is everything gay like why does the. arrow always go to there that's a you. thing i know i gotta stop doing that i. know so i never looked at sean connery i. want i i would like hug him. you're sexually attracted to daniel. craig i'm not sexually attracted to him. but it's he's just one of those. commanding guys that would be like you. know. do you know who these guys are. i know the latest james bond. he's hot he's hot oh so you like him you. think daniel craig is hot yeah yeah yeah.
see he is he's handsome. okay the best one looking one was roger. moore right he's traditionally the most. sex like the most sexy yeah roger marvel. i don't know look at that he's a mega. babe this guy. yeah i know but his face is old. now go to roger moore. adultery too right yeah but roger mole. had he had more of like a. james bond you think no he's not. handsome at all to you that's a bad. photo switch the photo how was that go. to the fourth one in fourth up yeah.
that's a great photo no he's not. handsome. he's he's that handsome wow wow i like. what about roger daltrey that's his name. what was the fourth there was one there. was another one that did one movie. no. can you imagine that they were like. roger we're thinking about offering you.
james bond yeah yeah no [ __ ] they're. like no [ __ ] never you're so [ __ ]. ugly yeah look at how long that chin is. why the long face raj. he must have got it tucked look at the. first picture it's almost like he pulled. his. he's almost like he's gonna combo the. role right it's like i'm james bond. right teenage let wasteland that would. actually be that'd be cool. when he's beating someone up yeah. oh yeah yeah he could say while he's. shooting yeah that's sick yeah all right. show the show um show uh.
uh uh uh yeah uh t timothy dalton dalton. is it dalton. timothy dalton is the name yeah that's. area that's another what do you think. about this one is this guy a handsome. bond yeah oh you like this guy you like. this guy interesting that was a good one. do you like his butt chin. yeah it's cute there was only four then. right there was um sean connery this guy. dalton did two movies right here i think. one or two one. two more did a bunch right right and. then daniel's done three or something.
daniel's on five maybe five yeah yeah. he's on a bunch i'm pierce brosnan oh. pierce brosnan oh yeah don't forget. pierce bro all right bring up bring up. the pierce yeah yeah. do you know he you know pierce brosnan. has a um uh. he's got a uh what is it called a prince. harry or prince william what's it called. when you pierce your penis. it feels good it's called a feels good. yeah he's got one. do you think he's he's hot he's really. come on. you know what i love about him too that. he's just no but his wife is like you. know a heavier woman and he doesn't care.
what does that even mean. we've we've done this before. i'm sorry actually type in pierce bros. and wife heavier woman doesn't even care. [Laughter]. i feel so gross saying it that picture. is not. fun for either of them yeah this is like. a yeah this is like i mean it's 90 now i. know but nobody wants to have pictures. of them on how about this no more. pictures on the beach yeah do you go to. you know what they just i just saw a. photo of of leonardo dicaprio on the.
beach i love that one the beach photo. there's a new one there's a new one it's. even sadder oh i like the older ones. just do on beach it's like the saddest. thing. no that's the no that's the old one i. think oh the new one is the far right. maybe this one. yeah what yeah that's fine no it is but. why he doesn't want that on the internet. take the cap off you're in the water dog. no it's not enough you like the cap i. think he look he's cool cap is cool yeah. yeah but i mean it's all it's got like a. von dutch hat too you know what i mean. he's that's a.
right yeah he's got a little tan line in. the bottom well it's got a bikini he's. burnt first of all he's burnt he's. burned as [ __ ] yeah you didn't think a. guy like that could burn yeah like go. back to the previous page pierce pierce. oh that one no how about that one right. there that's the old one right where. he's hanging out with um. what's his name yeah who is that by the. way that's the guy from uh speed racer. emiliano. emil hirsch uh he's gone right he he. died no he's not he's alive oh he is. yeah. i never know anymore who dies yeah. anyway you don't want those pictures on.
go back real quick to the page with. pierce brosnan and i got to tell you. even i feel bad for even saying it i. know but it's already out there yeah. yeah. i mean i'm i shouldn't say it but we're. all thinking it when you look at that. photo what. look at that size of her heart. oh look at the size of her teeth. i mean she has huge teeth yeah she has. big teeth i mean those got to be so. heavy those teeth got to weigh you down. yeah there's no way she's never. herniated disc like me but her stomach.
is as big as her teeth. you see what i did was i replaced tits. with teeth so what you would do is. replace a stomach with another s a body. part that was asked that would you know. rewind it all right i mean look at the. size of her toes. her toes are as big as her. teeth. her i'm replacing her stomach s with an. s oh with the ass toes with teeth tits. with toes. go ahead. i mean look at the size of her teeth. right look at the size of her.
sack. her sack. look at the size of her sack if we call. a stomach a sack yeah. he got. yeah look at the size of this look at. her sockets. [Laughter]. her eye sockets oh her socket's big yeah. her eye sockets are big. i mean that just looks there's no way. that's comfortable that looks painful. and i mean that mean her teeth her teeth. look painful yeah so wait a minute.
without telling us and ever don't spoil. her yeah is the movie worth going to see. yeah it is it's still good real good. and the reason why it's good is i don't. know what's going on. you're totally confused i don't know. what's going on who's who i don't know. what the the factions and organizations. i don't know who m is i don't know who. mal mulpenny is. i don't know who mo penny is. i don't know who brad williams was who.
is. you don't cue. you no i just you forget about this. stuff so you're just kind of going. george is cute you know that right he's. cute when it comes to here. wait wait wait. when it comes to this podcast you think. you're a [ __ ] double oh seven 100. i hate the fact that you [ __ ]. designated yourself. yeah yeah what am i then. um uh what's a little guy in goldeneye. uh with the the short little [ __ ] the. best character you could play because he. was so low to the ground so [ __ ]. [ __ ] up what was his name yeah.
no i'm the [ __ ] japanese dude with. the [ __ ] hat. why. what's the guy from [ __ ] goldeneye 7. in the nintendo 64 game that was low to. the ground carlos knows carlos odd job. odd job you're odd job you're hot job. i don't like how excited you are. yeah that's who i am you're hundred. percent not a child yeah my job and he. was so good to get in the game because. he was so low to the ground you couldn't. kill him i am odd. i am uh that is 100 you and that's me. yeah yeah and that's pete.
that's you me and pete yeah and she's. cute she's cute yeah she's like the. weapons person yes yeah yeah well who is. fancy i don't know but one i don't. really like can i not be hot you have to. be. this couldn't line up any better. he doesn't have a prevalent part in the. movie yes he's in one movie. yeah you get what 20 movies. i mean one movie it's kind of similar to. real life yeah yeah yeah hello hollywood. all right so. your odd job there's no way to get out.
of this i'm sorry because he's a fat. asian guy me too. what else do you like. all right did you go with him did you. see no no i started with gene oh you did. my buddy do you have no interest in. going to see stuff like that. no but i want to watch venom oh that's. because you have a crush on on th yeah. you do the first one was weird. i still i liked it but i i thought it. was a little weird i like tom hardy a. lot he's great a lot yeah so i think. this one will be better maybe i think.
they probably worked out some kinks yeah. um they're doing a matrix nine too do. you see the. what the new matrix. no yeah they're doing a new matrix they. already did it's coming on december who. is it is it kiana yeah yeah and is. laurence fishburne in it no. really no who is it but his um. porn star. daughter's in it. what kidding. no wait is it yeah who's in it the same. girl the lady in it what's the ladies.
name. carrie moss. gary ambos. yeah hurry and moses who else is in it. well from the trailer i saw can i carry. a mouse keanu. that's it that's all i could recognize. did the trailer look good it looked. pretty good but it's it's almost but. they're back in the matrix. like kendall's like older now he's like. you know man i got a job well like did. you watch bill and ted uh the new one. was it good i watched it on an airplane. bad and at the first i would be at the. beginning i was like this is gonna suck.
yeah and then at some point i was like. this is exactly what it's supposed to be. it's supposed to be fun and fake and. over-the-top and kitschy right. i liked it i actually thought it was fun. i watched it on a plane but it was a. plane movie so you know i don't know. it's not going to win an award what are. you what are you doing by the way do you. know madonna was offered that role in. the matrix. and she turned it down. with the carry on my support she said no. no chance well she thought the movie was. going to bomb she was like no piano was. fourth on the list on the list i think. it went up to johnny depp first tom. cruise tom cru a bunch of people and.
they're like nah. idiots i can't believe that but you know. what's cool is like sean connery right. he turned down gandalf. unreal and then so this is what he is so. i swear to god this has happened that's. what happened. so he gets caught he's a gondolf [ __ ]. that you know i mean give me an oscar. [ __ ] that right then [ __ ] lord of the. rings it becomes a hit so he calls his. agent goes i need you know what i mean. i need something you know like is some. sort of superhero type of sci-fi right. so he that's when he did league of.
extraordinary man. not being really he he thought that it. just doesn't matter what you just gotta. do one just gotta do one right and then. that [ __ ] ate it. yeah yeah so he just is he dead. he's dead yes yeah he's dead yeah we. should go we should play that game who's. dead remember that we were so bad at. that you and i were like forty percent. on no i know who's dead now really yeah. i've been reading are you doing more. reading cause when you're when you turn. 50 you look up who's dead. because you're next yeah i think i'm. next. what do you think it would say at the do.
you think you would get to. well you wouldn't do you wouldn't get. the academy awards memorandum would you. get it at the emmys that you think. have you ever been on a show that's been. nominated. i don't like your tone i haven't either. i'm not i'm not i'm just saying i. wouldn't make it i know but i just don't. like your tone would you make it on the. emmys in memory no you wouldn't i. wouldn't even even if comedy central had. one i wouldn't make that one. you know sometimes they put up like a. gaffer on there and they're like who did. that guy know. like oh so it's like when it because. norm mcdonald's is still up there.
yeah rest in peace yeah how long do you. think yours bit would be up there at the. comedy store yeah. uh probably like split between the early. show and the late show they'd have to. take a time. no really how long honestly a day at two. days i don't think so you'd be a weaker. a week yeah you'd get a month. i think i would get a week we'd both get. a week who gets longer than a week then. i don't know i think led more bigger. people i i don't know like but i've been. but see normal wasn't it norm wasn't. like always like he performed that what.
10 times he wasn't a store guy i've been. there i've performed in that whole life. i'm not even kidding probably. 6 000 times well between that and san. diego yeah. thousands of times you would i think you. what if they give you a week and a day. because of your your your special i want. six months that's insane i want six. months well they don't even put up the. names anymore do they do they put up. names i feel like now the store doesn't. even display names who's there. i haven't seen i've been no they haven't. done that long time no it's usually now.
best of or can i just say another thing. that i saw what did you say midnight. mass. oh the movie midnight mask it's a tv. show on netflix oh duncan trussell's. thing no what. is that not his thing no that's not his. thing man. i do you guys know what midnight mass is. yeah yeah yeah duncan's not in it. thank you carlos no no what's duncan's. thing called that is called it's. i don't even know who you know duncan. trussell oh yeah look up duncan trussell.
netflix show real fast just so i know. i'm not crazy yeah. what is this called. mid midnight gospel sorry it was so. [ __ ] far off. midnight mass all you guys can suck my. dick it sounds like it wasn't. you of anything i just never [ __ ]. heard of it yeah but the way you came at. me when i said you it sounded like it. wasn't even close you attacked. all right so what was midnight mass was.
it good you [ __ ] it up was it good. jewels have you seen this um i'm. planning to watch it yeah plan out plan. on it so. she does nothing. i don't know what you do. i don't know who you are to the show. people just love you yeah yeah they're. wrong. they're obsessed all right so what is. this. so anyway hi. i couldn't talk about it yeah yeah hi. can i say hi first. hello.
let's start our energy over i think. that's what it is i'm having so much fun. i think carlos coming in you know i mean. tell me about midnight mass i will in my. own time all right all right i don't. like being thrown or pushed into. something okay okay so i just want to. talk about my relation to you right now. right. and i want to say dude. that you're one of my best friends. you're one of my best friends i'm being. real me too and i want to say this also. how is your family good. how's your family good it's good great. and everything's fine in the house yeah.
good the dog's healthy. oh i forgot about the dog he died. it's a girl. okay yeah she's fine congratulations. yeah. she's yeah so um. you have a good week. [Music]. just let me do do what it's my podcast. too i had an okay it's my podcast too. i'm i was trying to lead you back to. midnight and i will do it in my own way. yes ma'am okay i did have a good week. good. and and. uh i got sick and my bad oh that's right. messed up what'd you get. i had an infected midnight mass is um.
i want to do it in my own time okay okay. it's one of those shows where you turn. when you when you turn it on you it's. you go. i don't know what this is and i don't. think i like it but it shot so well and. it's still compelling that you just go. through it you watch the first one. you're like you know because it seems. like um are the actors good amazing. everyone from from cinematography to. direction everything is amazing but it's. one of those feelings of like is this.
like lost in the sense that like nothing. really means anything you know i mean. it's just like these mythological scares. something flying in the sky they never. explain it this and that right. but by the third episode what happens i. don't want to give it away. but when you're watching then once you. figure out what it is. you go i love it yeah you know you. really get in yeah so in the beginning. you're like i don't know what this is. it's there's some weird surreal moments. in it and these quirky characters and.
this and that but then after third or. fourth episode when you it all goes you. kind of oh. this is this kind of movie. oh it's a movie a tv show tv yeah yeah. how many episodes and i'm going to give. it away now are you going to reveal it. i want to so bad you can't because i. know it's so new i know. do you know any of the actors in it. like do you recognize anybody got et's. in it. elliot i mean no elliot from et oh he is. yeah what's his name henry mike flanagan.
no that's the director and a writer oh. mike flanagan yeah. he does. all those yeah. um yeah everyone was great in it. especially the the main priest he was. amazing. but the show is really good it's just a. slow burn but i i think by the third and. fourth episode. you get it and you're like this is. amazing what's that kid's name that was. in e.t. henry. what. is his name henry i don't remember. what's his name they don't elliot elliot.
was the name from e.t henry thomas henry. did i say that right i said henry right. you did yeah henry have you seen the. tape of him crying to spielberg no. you've never seen that on youtube. i don't want to see it that little blood. cry. yeah do it it's the best oh he's. audition yeah oh i bet it's great she's. a great actor spielberg spielberg is. like. i don't want to give it away but you'll. see. it's powerful did you ever see e.t kiddo. no. no there it is it's the first one oh my. god.
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you go all right okay so no no no let's. let's don't play play yet so. i just want to um i'll set it up for. jules let's just set it up so oh yeah. she's never seen the movie it's not just. the auditioning process yeah so. there's probably. nine kids maybe. it's not a it's not a cattle call but. they probably have a five i think at. this point they probably got three let's. go let's say three let's say four okay. all right. i don't want you to win i know yeah so.
let's just save down two or three two or. three okay let's go back to probably. right right. and who knows he could have been first. he could be last he could be in the. middle true but he probably waited there. right and you know it's like. at this point spielberg had already done. close encounters jaws huge director huge. opportunities so there's a lot of. pressure i think tons but i think as an. adult. you take the pressure on in a different. way than kids because they don't know. what's at stake. kind of we right when we were let's say.
you're an unknown actor. and you're about to audition for. spielberg and you're poor. right and then you're like this could. change my life trajectory so all those. things come into play when we go in and. read yeah he doesn't have to pay rent he. doesn't he doesn't think about those now. you know but i'm sure he still feels a. little nervousness. but. now he goes in for steven spielberg and. he reads yeah and this is what he does i.
haven't seen it. the government is bigger than you are. elliot and i i really i have all the. authority to take him and i gotta tell. you. i'm gonna take him. you can't take him well. i'm afraid i have to son. you can't take him away. but it's not my choice the president. asked me to come here and get him i. don't care what the president says he's. my best friend. and you can't take it away.
well it's it's real possible elliot that. he'll come back and you can have him. again but we just want to talk to him. and see where he came from and try to. find out about other planets and he he. probably is the key to a lot of things. that we have to know. but how do i know you're gonna bring him. back. well. i'm afraid son i i can't guarantee you. i think he's afraid of you. that may be true but. the government tells me what to do and i.
just follow their orders. well he's mine and he lives with me and. he likes me. and he wants to stay here he likes it. here well we wouldn't hurt him or. anything all we want to do is talk to. him but i don't want you to take him. away. you know i've had to talk to your mom. about it and. she knows that the government has the. right to do it. and who told you all this. well we learned about it. we know that he's somewhere around here.
i mean i do have a search warrant i. could look around the house. tell me you keep. that spielberg talking well. i'll tell you what. if you let me talk to him for five. minutes i'll tell my boss that you can. keep it. would that be okay with you if i could. just talk to him for five minutes would. you feel better then. would you be happy if you could keep him. if all i had to do was talk to him for. five minutes. that might make your whole day huh.
might make your whole life huh. and then he'd be your friend forever and. i wouldn't take him away. okay. okay kid you got the job. can you believe that okay kid you got. the job. and then probably that's one of the most. but imagine now okay kids you got two. kids waiting to read. right and they're sitting there you know. they're they're with their mom right. right going through you know i don't. want you to take her take him away i.
don't want you to take him away. you know why you should have tear mom. i'm gonna do it when i'm in there okay. take him away take him away right this. people comes out you guys can go home. what. right and then they just get. do you think they read or no yeah okay. kid you got the job if spielberg said. that so confidently it was like. that was it it was over. there was a guy that like so mork and. mindy yeah when they auditioned mork. right so did a guy an actor wrote a book.
about this. about he was right after robin williams. oh audition for morgan. right so he's at the you know i mean. network or whatever and he's in the. lobby. and you know robin williams is in there. for an hour. you know i mean and like the walls are. shaking. he's killing so bad. and i never read the book but i can only. imagine him going wait wait this is this. is funny the guy has the script and the. walls are moving as he's reading this.
laughter he's just shaking against him. yeah you know what i would say i go. anybody have a pen yeah here you go and. i would go to the sign and [ __ ] and just. cross my name out just go just go home. well that's the kind of thing you. couldn't compete there's no way it was. born it was his role anyway he like with. he was born to do that. well first of all why audition offer. yeah but also because i think they just. wanted to see him play oh yeah i have a. story about morgan mindy i cannot share. the. act the actor who told me the story it's. private but i can i'll tell the story.
but. she. worked on the show as many people did. and was an actor on the show and she. said. you know robin was. you know he was partied out all the time. yeah yeah i love it and he showed up to. set one day and she was new and he comes. up and he's like well you're gonna be. with us you're gonna be working with us. and he's in character but they're not. rolling. and then she's like oh yeah i'm gonna be. working with you and he goes ah yeah. welcome to whatever the land was i can't. remember the name where he was from what. was it called he was from uh i knew it.
was all i know [ __ ] what was it whatever. he's like uh where'd i come from uh we. did a little bit of this. and he honked her tits. i swear to god yeah and he and he. grabbed her hand he goes and some of. this and then smacked his pen like. smacked himself on the penis with her. hand. and then he goes good day and then ran. away she told me the story i was like. are you [ __ ] serious yeah like it was. weird it was wild and weird back then. yeah he was also laced up on coke oh i. saw a richard pryor he was in a movie. and they did behind the scenes and he's.
like literally just smoking crap. i mean back then and how they just let. you do it yeah it was chaos yeah yeah it. was [ __ ] chaos back then smoking. crack. i mean imagine that now it's like you're. a minute late are you kidding me [ __ ]. a sag rep will yell at you yeah if you. you know like look nowadays when i. change in the trailer yeah. they you know sometimes you go to. wardrobe changes you change in front of. people yeah now i haven't no it's not.
like that anymore yeah. they don't even want to see you in your. underwear because they're like what if. you get offended that i see you changing. that all this stuff it's [ __ ] nuts. yeah even. i was still in hollywood when you could. do weird stuff like i would show up in. michael rosenbaum's dressing room. because we did a movie that movie. and we would just be naked in there. right right well you couldn't you could. do it to a guy friend you still you. can't do that now though to a guy friend. i had just met him that day well that's. weird. we didn't have a rapport i just kind of.
was there naked right okay you both. laugh right. but my point is you can't do that now no. yeah no not now no did i tell you about. that one time where i get i what. happened to me and splitting up together. where i um i think i told i must have. told you. where i had a six o'clock in the morning. call time i have to tell you this no. i had six in the morning call time and i. had this day where it was like just a. conversation scene between me and jenna. fisher right so she had a six five. probably 5 30 in the morning because. she's a girl yeah they do makeup.
so it's like 10 30. you're late no i'm asleep. my god i'm asleep. at home. when i was living on my beachwood condo. right and i hear someone in my [ __ ]. living room. right like what the [ __ ] i think i. grabbed the katana i have a katana. a sword i just bring the sword out. like running there i go what this guy. from the show they've been shooting.
they're doing all the jenna's coverage. where are you it's 10 30. and i go they sent some pokemon what. what. i'm freaked the [ __ ] out oh my god i was. freaking the [ __ ] out right and he goes. just go now i i was in like whatever i. was sleeping in. right. so i have one slipper on and i go. and so they did all her coverage and. this the worst was did she stay for your. cover for you when it flipped. good.
but the worst part was is. i'm doing my coverage now it's like one. yeah right she's at home no she's still. there because she had other scenes like. i don't know okay but she's in the. dressing room right but i'm doing. my coverage and i could see behind a. tree like like something like this right. um. [Laughter]. i always use the space. i could see the show runner. right.
[Laughter]. just staring you down the whole day just. so angry yeah yeah or like if we'd moved. if we moved shot move shots right she. would just come behind. from a desk and come up like this. like she was all over the place you. [ __ ] up and then this is what she does. uh her name is emily catnik does she. like you now she's the best. but she goes i remember at the end of. the day.
i'm just sitting there and i'm hunched. over. and she walks up from behind me. right she puts her hand on my shoulder. assault. no no. and she looks at me. and i look at her and she gave me a look. she didn't say anything. but it was like i answered her even. though she said. yeah yeah it won't happen again um. it was that look like by the way that's. i'm gonna let this go that's power but. yeah it was like a jedi thing wait and.
i'll never do that again she rested she. squeezed my shoulder and she walked away. the next day was everything was fine. right but it's like if this was the 70s. i could show up for a week not show up. yeah it didn't matter yeah and come back. with coke on my face yeah i mean and. they're like where were you what are you. we're doing a show let's go let's roll. you're in let's go but like stars could. like get away with [ __ ] back in the day. it was wild yeah but now it's like. everything's just because number one.
so there's so many there's so many jobs. now yeah right that not one job. is gonna make or break you. right yeah that's true no because. there's a thousand things you know. you've seen like i you know i'll turn on. like you know youtube watch trailers. you'll see what's wrong. what what'd you do i had something in my. eye oh don't do that man. keep talking i don't like what you just. did man i just did this there was. something in my eye no that was a. [ __ ] it's some sort of like way of.
like going. move on. no. don't do that man that was nothing you. do [ __ ] like that where you shrug your. shoulders when i'm talking and it's like. it's like come on sucks. are you projecting do you think what. you're about to say sucks. yeah okay. i knew where i was going i didn't know. where you were going either i didn't. either right but don't do that because. i'm trying to create something here man. okay next time you know you're. projecting so next time. what does projecting mean it's something.
you actually think and feel you're. saying as if i'm saying it yeah but. don't do that so next time am i. projecting that yes. so next time you think you're telling a. story. why don't you go like this to me. you should bail just go like this when. you're like i'm watching trailers on. youtube yeah and then i'll move to. something else okay but so when you when. i'm doing. so i'm talking oh i'll give you an. example let's just play it out right. so man can i tell you this other story. yeah you know one time my mom she used. to like to go to the korean grocery. store in koreatown right and um.
she wandered around and you know. you know she didn't know. so okay this week on bad friends says. that yeah we'll shift which that's very. good we'll shift to something else so. then you give me a hand signal where you. want to move on. uh something simple like uh like that. when i was no. no no no it gets so obvious people can. read it oh i didn't know yeah yeah. like give me something that like a. simple hand signal uh what if you just. kind of do this you know like you know.
how. detectives from the olden days about. this. that's that's the [ __ ] white summer. supremacist this is yeah this is this is. a a-okay. okay dude this is white supremacy how is. this white supremacist. dude you know what happened to that guy. in san diego prove to me that this is. white surprise i'll give you i'll give. you so i can't say okay anymore no. really yeah. i can never go somebody goes hey how was. the food and i go. no one does that yeah i do it all the. time this. no that okay that's white supremacist.
why is this. this is white supremacy yeah because. they'd be like hey should we burn the. cross and they're like. yeah but that's just saying okay right. this is not giving you the go ahead to. burn the cross okay this was yeah the. go-ahead yeah and this was let's give an. example okay how about this why don't. you go walk up to 50 cent. right and just do this in front of him. see what happens well what's the context. i'm not just gonna do it out of nowhere. you're okay if he's like hey hey how's. the party and i'm like. he'll get it i don't think he would what.
do you think he's gonna think i said i. think when you do this a gun will go. through here like this i think that's. what's gonna happen all right so why. would 50 cent. why would i have 50 cents just give me a. [ __ ] symbol nothing like this no. circle all right i'll give you just i'm. just gonna can i just say that i'll go. let me just say this okay let me just. let me talk okay okay. this guy that worked at san diego gas. and electric. right a year ago. okay. mexican guy.
right. union job right he's driving home to go. to he has a truck you know one of those. sd whatever san diego light i don't know. what it's called. and he's at a stop sign right and when. he's driving he likes to stick his hand. out the window and because he. he works with his hands and he and he. has like arthritis or something so he. likes to like kind of. stretch out his fingers this actually. happened okay right. and he's at a stop sign at the same time. there's a blm protest so out the window.
he's doing this and then he does this. they take a photo of this. right. a mexican guy this mexican guy doing. this symbol but he's stretching his. finger and proof that it's not white. supremacy thank you he gets he lost his. job. they fired him yes. he lost his job because they think a. mexican is a white supremacist look it. up. he doesn't even think the first word of. the christian area no no he's a mexican.
guy he lost his job. there's got to be something there it's. nothing else he lost his job well let me. tell you something yeah if that is true. then it's good to have another one of. our mexican brothers on our team then. yeah so give me a symbol that's insane. yeah yeah sdg e worker fight over. alleged racist gesture says he was. cracking his knuckles. it just seems like something's missing. here no a mexican guy yes he's mexican. let's see the video that's it that's him.
now go in it was a photo not a video. so zoom in in the photo. oh that does look like he's doing the. white supremacy symbol. [Laughter]. this dude. this is insane his job because he still. doesn't have a job. okay what's his name. oh it says right there cafferty is a. mexican-american says he comes from a. diverse family of all races he's proud. of it. he's proud of sdg e for taking any. allegations of racism seriously but he. wants his job back i'm sure he got his. job back he never did he still doesn't.
have his job okay go up to find his name. and let's find him and see if we can. contact him. we'll give him a job here on bad friends. and he can do this all he wants. that's his job. his job is just to come into scream. every once a while and do that. yeah by the way yeah everybody who knows. this show that knows obviously we're. making a joke about it but you've got to. be a [ __ ] [ __ ] to think a mexican. dude is doing this meaning white. supremacy i know you have to be a. [ __ ] but we live in that kind of. society people are [ __ ] dumb because.
it got it became it was trending by the. way we are going to find out he is a. white supremacist oh like all no he's. not he's because i've seen him in. interview talk he has met his his family. is all like you know i mean san diego. mexicans. i just think that's that fiesta does. this feels insane to me i just don't get. it i know but i'm just saying so don't. do this you're doing it now i know i'm. just telling you not to do it i think. it's upside down it is upside down oh it. is yeah this is this is okay yeah it is. you should have done this then well yeah. then it's fine yeah you shouldn't have. done that uh you're doing it again. you've done it three times yeah yeah all.
right you're right i'm gonna make a meme. give me a give me a symbol that's not. obvious that like when you want to move. you want me to jump in. to shift the conversation all right here. it'll be very very uh subtle yeah. okay good look ahead just a little. yeah. right it's a move on face. okay so but we also need symbols. oh simple for her. [Music]. oh my god what's your symbol. she doesn't talk she doesn't need the.
symbol. can i do this yeah yeah you can do that. that makes sense yeah. she does come in with some good ones. hello. i'll tell you this right now my my life. if my dad was still alive and he saw my. butthole he's not. i know but if he was did you tushy your. dad's about hold before he died i don't. know but if you saw my butthole right. now you go holy moly why is so queen. and i would say because it's tushy the. hello i'm being real it's amazing it's a. modern bidet company that washes away.
even the messiest of shits leaving you. with the better cleaner uh. butthole than toilet paper alone my. dad's never said holy moly holy moly. he's never it's funny to say that when. you look at it so anyway that we have a. hello tootsie in in our bathroom here at. the office yeah and i love coming here. and just spraying it into my ding dong. and it cleans it out it's so good. there's nothing you say you save money. on. tissue toilet paper right it's good for. the environment yeah i just like the. little spritz of water in my tushy. because i got to tell you.
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ship station oh my god we wouldn't have. a business i don't think without without. ship station i mean they you know we. have merchandise it goes out and we do. use the ship station to use it yeah look. the holidays are coming up if you're. selling anything online like we do when. we sell merch you got to prepare for the. busiest time of the year uh if your. business is growing and managing. inventory is tough juggling all those. orders you got a lot going on make. shipping the easiest part of your day. with shipstation we use it here you know. that and it saves us money because we. used to do it from a different shipping. house yeah it was pricey figuring out. the best way to ship your orders can be.
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at the top and enter bad friends ship. station make ship happen. but we have to also have a symbol in. terms of like. you know if i think your story is. meandering is it the same symbol. oh we'll just do that for all of us just. knock on it out yeah. we'll just do that for all right a. little knock a little tap tap on the. thing a little tap tap little tap tap. yeah let's do let's practice one go. ahead. uh i'll i'll start go ahead. so last night at the great british.
baking show oh watching because you know. every week on fridays the new episode. comes on right and. last night was bread week oh. so anyway loved your show last night. oh so what's that what's that. move up move on move on okay. i love it. what was that even okay so what was i. even talking about when you did the. [ __ ] eye thing these guys will know. you were saying you were watching. trailers on youtube.
about what though. about how no not one actor has so much. power these days because there's too. many jokes all right i just want can i. make finish my point though please. before you do the eye thing please okay. i'm just saying that there's no. there's. god. you know some days i love you. i really do some days i go i'll wake up. and go man i'm so blessed to have. [Laughter].
so many good friends like ed right but. some days i just literally go i think i. hate him yeah i think today is one of. those days good yeah how do you feel. about me right now i'm in love with you. more than i've ever been oh why because. i'm because you're sweet. that annoyed me even more i know wait. tell me though you were watching no. actor can you were saying it no i'm just. saying though you can't act like that. anymore well look some of those are. expendables some of those things are. good. right. i was honking this woman this is not.
[ __ ] cool. i mean it's a funny story for someone to. tell but you're like that's [ __ ] nuts. south korea's next president oh by the. way this is a big win for south korea i. want to tell you congratulations. this is uh heyo kyung young the. levitating mystic who claims he's got an. iq go up he's got an iq up he's. scrolling on the wrong way he's got an. iq of 430 and is offering voters 85 000. to vote for him do you vote for this guy. yeah he can [ __ ] levitate well if you.
can do something that no other human can. do i think that's an asset and 85 grand. yeah look at that look at how and. there's people there's skeptics on the. internet saying he can't levitate that's. him levitating above a mountain i'm. seeing it right now obviously so tell me. how that happened and then i'll tell you. yeah exactly. um also he's able to. and look at look listen he's able to. physically remove and replace his hair. at any given time right not only that. can i just say it's just based on the. photo he loves to punch angels. because look at that fist right he loves.
to pull punch angels right imagine. do it do him in heaven. do him up there levitating punching. agent. wait. i gotta do indian style hold on i gotta. get in there right. what's tucker done check it out. you have to tell the angel take that and. then they're like they get punched they. go take one yeah right you know you know. scroll down on this guy this guy's. [ __ ] great i don't know why they.
don't want to vote for him. yeah people are saying. that uh he. he said uh he's showing off his. flexibility with a kick alongside donald. trump uh and he tells all the observers. to look into his eyes to help him. levitate. i don't know man this guy seems dope as. [ __ ] i think it's i think um this is the. kind of people we should be voting for. we've been getting lied to by. politicians for all. time and it's so so it's like you know. if you can do something you know. mystical. like this like this right this guy.
that's an asset by far right so they say. like they say jesus walked on water they. say um gandhi could not eat for you know. whatever the [ __ ] a thousand years a. thousand years ago. this guy. yeah. levitate dude the dalai lama yeah what's. his thing. the dalai lama what's his thing his. thing is he can make crickets disappear. out of thin air. dude and locusts that's a thing.
yeah that's a thing right would you vote. would you vote for him if he can. levitate see yeah wait that's the thing. though he. he would but what's tough about this. is he'd have to prove it one time how. does david blaine not run for anything. then he could just be like you should. vote for me because i can do this and. then yeah disappear into a tank but. because you have. this is a true thing right you have. if you look at david blaine's videos on.
youtube and whatever right there's. always r. reveal videos. of how we did it yeah so like when you. see any magician that's why when like. there's certainly it sucks. i know but there's certain missions like. shin lim. yeah i know shin lim right yeah so shin. lim there's some there there's some they. they don't do some reveals on his. because they don't know yet. right they can't right uh what's uh pen. and teller couldn't figure out yeah yeah. that's how good shin lim is but if you. watch david blaine or any other magician.
that you see on a talent show there's. always reveal videos he's pre some of. them i don't think you could find a. reveal for yeah i mean there's this guy. named um. his name is some oak. darby darcy darcy oak darcy oak darcy oh. cute handsome. darcy oak is a handsome. canadian magician they all kind of look. like chris angel yeah yeah ish this dude. did something on pgt obviously put the. shirtless one up pete yeah yeah yeah. there we go.
we obviously wanna say hot right is he. hot. could he be james bond. he looks like he he would hit women. what gives it away the stars going down. to his penis on his pelvis. yeah yeah this guy's probably a great. guy no he seems very nice he's probably. nice why do you think he's gonna hit. women. it's just his face it's just his face. but he does a thing on stage where he he. can make doves appear this guy yeah. right have you seen it oh yeah he does.
it as an audition on pgt he makes doves. up here then he can make like two dubs. appear with two like um. cages with two doves in it and stuff. like that seriously yeah yeah that's. pretty and then uh he puts the doves all. the doves in a cage and he lifts the. cage and there's a woman underneath that. that rises. really yeah. let's go see. any who right you can watch on youtube. my point is all those stuff you can i. know how he did it yeah but you can't do. it. i i'm not going to spend 15 hours a day. for 20 years of my life practicing.
that's my point that's the only point i. know my point is that i am i i i think. it's awesome that he can [ __ ] do it. yeah right but my point is that it's not. magic yeah it is magic it's magic that. he was able to spend that much time to. figure out how to do it and actually. work that's magic i know. that. all right what's the next piece you had. pete. can i just say something oh. why is everything korean right now. it's korean do you know what south.
korean month. all of october. it is i've never heard of south korea it. is typing in korean for 50 years. what month is south korean celebration. month in the united states watch. it's [ __ ] october i can't you don't. know that it's my birthday month what. does it say what would you google. where is it there. pete just type in the word october after. no no there you go i have a i have the. internet there it is no i'm going to go.
south korean month ah bingo bingo the. day look at the day the sky opened look. at what does that say zoom it in for him. no i'm going to look bobby. look i got you john joel a public. holiday in south and north korea on. october 3rd known as the english name. national foundation day the holiday. celebrates the legendary formation of. the first korean state of goju-san in. 233. 233 bc told you. told you. i put south korean month and it says. sunday october 10th told you 2021. told.
you. 2021 that's now. do you not know what year it is. so today is it told you yeah i told you. go back to the year we. i think when i put south korea a month. right now the internet's just like this. is what the day is in south korea. let's figure it out. go back to the thing go back. am i losing my [ __ ] mind yeah yeah. all right south korean president the. current president suggests a ban on.
eating dog meat what do you say yeah 100. why. shut up man. shut up man it's insane yeah moon jae-in. a dog lover says time has come for. traditional practice. yeah like. what's the why is it so funny it's. insane it's [ __ ] insane look at how. cute these dogs are yeah it's insane. anything someone might break into your. house not to steal something but to grab. a dog yeah. that's it but these no but these dogs.
are. bred for it right they don't look like. they're bred to be eaten yeah but. they're not i've seen some of the videos. no that's in china they steal from. people's houses it's insane i know in. china but in korea they're bred oh. they're. like the pigs so it's like they're in a. canal you know what i mean right so. they're made to be eaten. but they just don't have friends that. are human. well they do right before they eat them. the human goes hi puppy and the puppy's. cute and licking them and then they're. like no that's not how they do it no no.
it's like it's like mass production i. think. right you mean like a breeder like a. breeder and it's like these dogs have. terrible lives yeah because you're gonna. eat them yeah no but it's also they just. their daily life is i think just feed. what is a dog handle what does dog taste. like. apparently it's the best meat don't give. me apparently. i i'm telling you right now don't give. me apparently just tell me what it. tastes like it's real good. i would never eat it what's the weirdest. animal you've ever eaten.
don't to say dog monitor lizard monitor. lizard. do you know what that is i know what a. monitor lizard is i don't know if you're. gonna eat it. are you making that up no she ate one. in philippines you eat monitor letters. yeah how do you eat it how does this. prepare. doesn't it look so delicious. it looks so moist and delicious well you. know what they say you know they say. like foods like specifically like fruits. and fruits are. colored differently yeah right and.
aesthetically they throw away fruit that. doesn't look good yeah what i mean in. the grocery store which is [ __ ] up. yeah imagine looking at this there's no. way and being like. i gotta try it. yeah i can't. you have to be starving not only not. only that you can't hang it you know how. you go to chinatown and you see like. dangling carcass in the windows ducks in. the window right yeah you can't hang. that anywhere. that has to just be on the menu the last. thing right and just put ml they're like. we have clam chowder soup we've got a.
couple of uh. specials today we've got a uh card on. blue and uh monitor lizard so what can i. get you and you're like what was the. last one. monitor lizard yeah yeah what part of it. do you eat. i don't know why you eat like the legs. i think so my uncle just gave it to me. oh so you just ate it yeah. and he just just. what is it is there a sauce. there's no sauce you at least get like a. chick-fil-a sauce or something it's just. fried oh it's fried well but it's good. but can you get it like cage style or.
blackened. i mean there's got to be a way where. it's going to be the best way i just. want to see it it was good it was spicy. it was yeah because they have to they. have to put the spices in well that was. the cajun style yeah yeah yeah the cajun. stuff yeah wow i liked it you fried. maybe if i would do it if there was like. you know breading yeah if it was. deep-fried deep-fried breading. deep-fried. pounded. right yeah you thin it out like a lizard. by payout. monitor lizard pie yard because there's. a restaurant in china and it's like. months of reservations right.
and they all they serve. is different types. of. animal testicles and penis. just it's called just genitals no it's. like. wait is it just penises and balls yeah. no female uh no that's kind of sexist i. know but you have a couple of vaginas. but you it's like a crowded. people love it people [ __ ] love it. and it's just peanut just penises yeah. have you eaten animal penises no like a.
bull penis that's popular i know people. eat bulk like i was like wondering like. let's suppose and a lot of people like. at work like their boss at work will be. like i got reservations and then. everyone at work would have to go no. right and imagine being there and you're. like just eating dick what would you. order. what like what animal's [ __ ] would i. have yeah yeah. [Laughter]. you know i don't know what i would do i. mean if i'm hungry probably a horse dick. it's [ __ ] no because i don't want to. eat it so i would say field mouse. right but then but i imagine if i order.
field mouse right and it comes like like. cereal. right there's a [ __ ] load up. it's a polo. sealed my sticks and then it comes with. milk. [Laughter]. that's so funny. that's so funny yeah a bowl of field. mice. yeah yeah yeah and you're like. you're thinking of getting one over. right you're not like yeah but you. finish a bowl you finish the bowl and.
they're like oh you're ready for your. second serving field house takes you. it's like four. right they're like we know that's not. enough for you to eat so obviously we. had to pack it in i would have to like. whisper like i'd be so shy to do it. mm-hmm so when the waitress or waiter. comes up like oh do you know what you. want right i would have to whisper it. because i would be so embarrassed i'd. say. excuse me i did not hear you he's a. donkey. come again you come again right and then. he's oh donkey dick and she yells at the. [ __ ] cook one dog.
what animal dick would you eat. a duck's dick ooh duck dick a duck dick. that's very clever that's clever duck. dick probably tastes very good yeah. because we eat so many parts of the duck. chicken dick would be good. ah chickens are dirty yeah you're right. yeah chickens are dirty yeah pig dick. pig is probably fatty as [ __ ]. what would you get a picture of a pig. dick up there what would eric griffin. get.
elephant cocky yeah yeah do elephants. have huge like 15 guys come in. [Laughter]. they come in with it on their shoulders. yeah wait a minute google which animal. has the biggest penis. i want to know yeah. andrew santino. the blue whale. yeah the of course let me see the. picture let me see a balloon 10 feet. penis a 10 foot pocket [ __ ]. wow wow.
there it is where that's it the second. picture do blue whales penis right there. pete no right there just google blue l. penis. let's see it. oh my god that's it right there in the. water the one in the water no hold on. zoom into that guy's face. look at this guy holding this piece yeah. he's. it's like a disneyland vacation family. photo he's so turned on right now and. the kids are like daddy this is not cool. yeah i want to hold the penis yeah get. it get in charlene get me holding the.
penis. how weird that's gross [ __ ] penis. right there but let's see it live in the. like go to the right. the one right there in action no. above above right right right right. right. yellow oh my god that's live. look at it jumping out of the water. they've got it mid action they've got. mid flight dick he's just going. underneath. [Laughter]. go to the one where he's jumping out of. the water yeah yeah. that's a dare from his buddies yeah yeah.
he's like i got a boner they're like do. it jump in front of the boat he's like. i'm not gonna do it do it. he's a teenager. he's [ __ ] crazy crazy larry dude look. at how small that looks because of how. big they are but that's ten feet of yeah. that's a big dick that's huge yeah what. what's that one somebody touching it is. there somebody touching it yeah he's. grabbing it let me see that one the. largest penis in the world. wait i don't. zoom in zoom in.
wow wow. is that even erect. that's got to be soft. that's soft. because that's like four feet five feet. that what if that guy works for the. restaurant. not ready yet. still too tender down there look at that. dick man. beautiful imagine being the guy they. newly hired and they're like look we do. we need help pep wanted bad and he's. like i'll do anything they're like. you've got to go see if the dicks are.
ready down below. that's his job he's got to go fumble. through the dicks go find go find the. dick the dick catcher well he went to. chef school whatever. he gets a good job there but he's like. his first job when you first get hired. there it's that is that you're the dick. prep yeah. fine. get downstairs and go. yeah yeah so the the monitor lizard is. the weirdest you've ever eaten yeah have. you eaten anything that you that you're. not supposed to tell us. did you eat something bad. did you eat something illegal.
no have you ever never how about like a. hawk. have you have you eaten an endangered. species. no. do you know what that is have you seen. their have you seen their bats. no. filipino bats have you seen their. [ __ ]. bats problem no look up filipino giant. gold that [ __ ] thing look at it. that's. literally that's a guy. that is a guy. that's their bats that's a full-size. adult man.
yeah yeah what what dude but look at the. storefront run go go back to the. storefront where that looks like a guy. in a halloween dude that's a [ __ ]. bathroom oh my god. wait a minute do you what what happens. when that comes right that can [ __ ]. kill you. yeah. at that is this what do you do do they. have names yeah that's mine. hey mike. you're living in [ __ ] narnia yeah. yeah yeah dude that is they attack. people i've never heard of them.
attacking people so do you see them. sometimes flying i've never seen them. you've never seen one this has got to be. in a certain part of the philippines. then look at this the one that they. caught and they've strung it up. the one that's the same dude look at. that that's like a 15 foot wingspan i. know that's insane that thing i wonder. what those taste like. have you eaten those no. what is it called go to the name go to. the regular google search i want to find. out the name of these things. just hit all. those things are insane dude here's what.
you know about the giant golden crown. flying fox. also known as the golden caped fruit bat. it's not eating fruit that's eaten human. beings. yeah it's a mega bat. in the philippines the other thing's in. sand man dude this has got to be five. feet long it's five feet it's a [ __ ]. it's it's my foot it's hotter than you. doc. it's five feet. if you put [ __ ] wings on doc no dude. it's five six it's five six it's five. six holy [ __ ] that's bigger than he's.
taller than i am that's what you would. look like hung upside down next to the. bat. you would be the same it would be almost. the same size wow. wow that's insane. i would move. would you move. that was the competition wait no i just. like if those are flying around they'd. kill you sleep well at night google if. those things have ever killed a human. being. or attacked a human being. they've got to have been able to kill or. hurt somebody yeah. and large bats are being killed by the. thousands oh we're killing them oh yeah.
yeah yeah they're probably like sweet. yeah they're probably nice yeah. they eat fruits bro. that doesn't look like fruit yeah they. eat fruits bro they look like they eat. cows in the middle of the night yeah. those are insane. anyway you ever need those. no no. is there any other creatures over there. that are like that like that. i don't think so. but but if you look at that photo hmm. what is the difference between that.
let's just listen. really think about it though yeah yeah. yeah i'm listening you see that thing. upside down right yeah what's the only. difference between that uh-huh. i don't know. except for the wings right let me say. something. all right. you can clip wings can you know. can you not clip them. right yeah like i saw an x-men movie. where archangel right when he was a boy. he was clipping his own wings in the.
bathroom of his house right yep. i mean i've never really looked at her. back i'm not a bat. i didn't accuse you of a bat that you. were bad please isolate that sound yeah. i'm not a bad yo. he's not saying you are a bad but he but. you how can you prove that you're not. yeah i don't have any wings anymore yeah. i don't. i don't look like a bat you sound a. little guilty yeah it feels like go back. to the picture of the one thing hanging.
upside down and zoom in on its face yeah. zoom in zoom zoom in. i don't know. jules. rudy. the ears are different. well you can always shave pull your let. me see pull your head one headphone. aside let's see your ears are big. turn turn that way and pull your pull. your hairs out to the camera. it's not. oh my god. i don't know.
throw a [ __ ] apple in front of her. i don't know rudy i'd like to see some. proof next episode god those things are. so scary let's get a book report on ru. on why rudy isn't a bat for the next. episode. well let's play this clip real fast let. me see this clip. shut the [ __ ] up stop talking to me. [ __ ]. no i'm not you i'm talking dumb ass fat. [ __ ] over there eat.
you're too fat [ __ ] you eat too many. pork chops so much rice and beans. they're filmed as such. stupid ass [ __ ]. [Music]. [Laughter]. i love new york it's the greatest city. in the world. [Laughter]. stupid ass [ __ ]. that's why i got no man. do you eat too many pork chops.
i love that so much i love it so much. you don't like that bob. why. because he's fat. yeah you know and he's also can't walk. play it again. why pork chops baby. don't try to reason. [Laughter].
there's just so much. ammo that i could. get back at that that's why this is. hilarious why didn't she fight back. because it's fun man i don't know maybe. i don't know. it's so good to me. press play i love it. shut up you fat [ __ ] stop eating so. many pork chops back up off the tank. you're on a diet your fat ass [ __ ]. that's why you ain't got no man you're. too [ __ ] fat nobody wanna [ __ ] you. you're too fat [ __ ] you eat too many. pork chops so much rice and beans and.
film ass. stupid ass [ __ ]. dude. this is how a custom. new york people are. to [ __ ] up [ __ ]. no one's even laughing. you wouldn't be laughing if that guy's. doing look at this guy on his phone look. at fancy beyonce. you wouldn't laugh that that guy was. calling that girl fat ass [ __ ] you eat. too many pork chops no that's not funny. to you it wouldn't be it would be. interesting but i would be dying. dying laughing yeah here's me recording.
yeah. yeah white guy. shut the [ __ ] up thank you for being a. go ahead and say it thank you for being. a bad friend. [Music]. you [ __ ] it up by [ __ ] yelling and. just like it takes me out of the [ __ ]. talking about it. why do you do that how was it no it's. calm down now go back to the thing i did. the beat ready how was it get my sides.
how was midnight mass there's no comedy. what i'm saying i just want to recommend. things to people that's all yeah and so. what we're doing is a podcast so what. they would do is they would cut it right. after we yelled to a funny moment of me. going so how was it. do you understand how this works dude i. don't like your tone right now dude what. is wrong with you dude what the [ __ ] is. wrong with you dude look at your face do. you know how this works you [ __ ]. condescending [ __ ]. dude you're not the [ __ ] you're not bond. man no you're not yeah i'm not head's up.
it's odd job. is that his name odd job our job i call. myself hacksaw i've seen you once again. what. no listen you're so low to the earth our. job this show. did you see this. [Music].
