Living Someone's Dream and Chris Rock Hates Us! | Ep 43 | Bad Friends
you two are bad friends who are these. two idiots. white dude i'm an asian dude you two. are disgusting oh you two or something. we're bad. friends hello jeremiah hi frank. hello tonga tonga the kid. hello patrice. patrice. yeah what were you doing in the car why. were you late because i was reading. tweets so you know people. think they're not stupid true people.
what was he doing in the car rudy he was. popping his pimple. i was reading tweets and you still have. the pimple thing on your nose. let me see and i know you know i haven't. seen you in a while and this is not a. really good way to start. you know it's you know it's hello how. are you how was hawaii did you say hello. how are you to me. let's not fight listen that last episode. where we're fighting it's really it's. good. oh it's what a volatile it was one of.
the best episodes we ever made it. doesn't matter it's volatile and. let's start out the right way ready yeah. hey bob. see it's not organic it doesn't work. because i'm absorbing it. you know what the problem with america. is oh god why we're divided. we don't absorb hellos what are you. talking about. we we need to start absorbing hello so. when somebody says hello right. our immediate response is hello back. right because he's conditioned to do. that. we're conditioned to do that well. someone goes right so when you say hello.
i absorb it. hey bob hello now what you're not. hearing is this. you're not hearing that but it's. happening say hello to me. well let's let's do it again okay you. see it first okay. let it absorb all right go ahead hello. bob. hello andrew how was hawaii baby boy oh.
it was great you know it's fun why is a. fun little island. um i spent just but first of all in my. hotel room i. i'm it was almost as if like you know a. rock band. stayed there because you destroyed it. yeah what did you do. it's just the maids i had to give them. an extra 50. every day because i don't have it. cleaned every day i like. i let four days pass so wait you leave. fifty dollars for every few days. yeah and then still they they're very.
hesitant of cleaning out yo that's. crazy it's insane i have 50 dollars. sunflower seeds. on the wall because you're flicking in. bed from bed. no from my little my little warzone. chair. right everything's sticky they have to. throw out that chair. you know that what they have to throw. out all that furniture they do right. that's so sad it's just like blood. calm everything blood come everything. and they did they bring a hazmat. yeah i'm pretty nasty dude bobby lee was.
in this room. and i do it fast i can make things messy. real. fast how many did you order do you order. extra towels and pillows every day oh. it's also food i didn't go to a. restaurant not once. no but isn't hawaii it's pretty safe. right isn't hawaii safe right now. because they're quarantined they're. they're cooking. way too safe did you go to the beach bro. when i got there. when i got there dude they almost didn't. let me in the island. what do you mean i was on the island i.
was on the island at the airport but. they wouldn't let me like. come on because you're korean no. that's silly talk well no hawaii i don't. know do they like you guys i have no. idea. because there is mostly is it mostly. japanese people isn't it. the whites are there yeah okay no what. because i didn't. fill out the um you had to fill out all. this paperwork. right and i never did it did you have to. do that when you came back to la. i heard there's a paper at lax that. people have to fill out no i didn't no.
no no no no they'll be through they. recognize me. let's be honest from what bobby lee from. what. uh what do you think people recognize. you from i did a. national el pollo. commercial i've um done i was in that um. show that nick rutherford did on um. what's that called love no nick. rutherford has a show on uh. what's that cartoon network an adult. swim adult swim dream core.
yeah was it cool dream corp i one line. on that what was the line. tricky ricky is here perfect yeah i'd. give you the gig again and i didn't even. i memorized that. eight months ago i still have it did. anybody recognize you from bad friends. in hawaii did anybody say i love bad. friends. they do yeah and it's funny because it's. obviously you know i'm walking around. hawaii. with a mask on right so obviously. you know when asians don't have masks on.
people hard to tell well people get. scared when they don't when they see you. i'm more comfortable when asians have. masks but with the mask on. we're like you know we it's very we're. hard to recognize. sure but for some reason my voice people. recognize. well yeah bob it's a deep [ __ ] up. voice right it's deep for a korean guy i. guess. yeah yeah you sound that sounds guttural. yeah yeah ago. excuse me bad friends nice that's the. only word i use. a little korean guy we were shooting. downtown a little korean guy sprinted up. to me.
no one of the background guys why does. he have to be little he was very small. because i was it a boy well i couldn't. hear him at first i had to grab my. picture. off the ground yeah yeah and i had to. get him up at eye line. hey are you are you andrew boss the. plane the plane. no and he said uh he ran up to me and he. says bad friends bad friends. my my favorite show say say hi to bob. please and i said of course of course. he was like so wide-eyed and happy so he. says hi. i don't know what's his name something. kim i guess i don't like it.
memorize the name wong park yeah yeah i. don't know. do you get recognized often well i don't. go anywhere anymore i know. i mean even before low no no. no like how many times a day. one maybe and how does it make you feel. it was i don't know it depends on the. scenario if i'm if i'm like at a. restaurant just wanting to eat and pass. the time and. talking to somebody i i you know it is. what it is i'd rather just keep going. but do you remember the first time you.
got recognized. uh maybe yeah. yes yes no i do think i do yeah the. first thing yeah of course. i know what happened it felt incredible. it does at first right. yeah if it changes you yeah it does. change you know what what. this is very uncomfortable to talk about. well it's just weird it's weird to talk. about but. i'd like to talk about it well hold on. so what happened well i. i got r i got recognized the first thing. i did was punked and i got recognized. for. you got recognized from punk well.
because we did promo for jimmy kimmel. and i went on jimmy kimmel and i climbed. on his desk and a speedo and. um and uh uh guillermo tased me. i'm gonna speedo and guaramotes me and. justin bieber was on so it was just a. big viewed episode. or a big viewed you know yeah jimmy. kimmel episode and like. three or four days later i was walking. on third or mel. or third or beverly one of those where. all the restaurants are. and a kid goes i saw you i saw you naked. on kimmel yeah and i was like i was in a.
speedo and he was like. yeah it was gross that was funny and i. was like oh thanks. and then it made me sad about that i was. gross because my body was gross on. kimmel and then i thought. well i gotta get in shape and i that. literally was like part of the impetus. really 100 oh wow because i saw the. photos and it was like my little penis. isn't a little speedo. little tiny penis yes and my doughy. midsection was spilling over the speedo. and i was like oh [ __ ]. that's how people before people see you. before you see yourself on tv.
you don't know how bad a shape you might. be in and then once you see what you. look like on tv. then you go eyes in a mirror yeah but. you don't really know until you see it. amongst other people on tv. yeah i know how [ __ ] up my body is. well you've always had a bad body though. whoa. you never were in shape you've always. had a bad body i know. but it's been good for me yeah i know it. works no. it feels normal to me though it sure. yeah i don't feel like oh i'm jiggly i. can't i could hardly walk you. well do you jiggle at all when you walk. i wobble yeah you wait.
i don't jiggle you that's why we call it. yeah but i do wobble the [ __ ] out of. things. you're kind of like when those punching. bags you know they they wobble back and. forth do you ever get recognized rudy. no never no it's gonna happen though. just wait the first time i had so i did. the um. tonight show in seventy thousand or oh. earlier okay i thought it was one of the. original. with carson i mean you're 50 you could. have done you literally could have done. you couldn't have. how how not carson did it until the 70s.
late in the 80s no he went to the 80s. you just couldn't have yeah. [Laughter]. [Music]. shut up 2001 no don't do that either let. me. let me absorb it okay ready absorb it. when did you do the tonight show bob. sometime in 2000 and um not in the 70s. it was leno not carson.
so i did it and then two weeks later. never got recognized but two weeks later. i was. at the panicking coffee shop in la jolla. because i was doing la jolla at the. comedy store and the panicking is a. place. i used to work panicking yeah it's a. coffee shop in la jolla i used to do the. morning shifts. you have to wake up five in the morning. it's where i ground up the cockroaches. oh right yeah yeah yeah and i remember.
so now i'm back at the panicking you. know after doing the tonight show. and no one's recognized it's fine i. wasn't thinking about it right and. a young lady and her mother was at a. table. and i'm just drinking my coffee and i. had my legs crossed like this. you're right and i think you could smoke. at that time so i was smoking. and she goes excuse me yes and she goes. did you do the tonight show a couple. weeks ago as a stand up. i cool.
yes i did she goes. this is pretty good that's good pretty. good is good. it [ __ ] me up for like six months. why pretty good good is a terrible no. it's pretty good what did you want her. to say it was really good but it wasn't. i know i know so that's what i was. thinking about. like what i could have done better but. to me when you do a set. right yeah when somebody says it was. pretty good you don't feel good. well when someone says it's the set is.
pretty good when you after you've just. done a live show. that means it's really bad when someone. goes pretty good oh so it. it so time it's like one time i see. yeah it's it's settled a little bit also. television is way different than live so. when somebody goes that tv set was. pretty good. it's probably pretty good when somebody. says sees you live and go yeah. if i don't like the band creed why. i just don't right but if i saw the lead. singer. walking down i'd be like i love you guys. why.
just because i want him to feel good i. would ignore him no i would just keep. moving i go i love that. all your albums i hate them but i would. say it. to make them feel good if i've seen. comics right what if you just don't say. anything at all comics. not do well at all right name it right. no no. stop it all right but one of them name. one or i've i've seen. like um i don't hurt his feelings but do. it. no i'm not i'm not going to do it um i'm. going to give me the addition. let me know let me think of a good one. that's that wouldn't be hurt.
or i've seen whitney have an okay set. right like not so good. yes one time she had an okay set a lot. of stuff afterwards. i said oh that was amazing why did you. choose just to make her feel better. chris rock chris rock watched me go up. in the o.r yeah. uh do you ever have you ever been there. when rock is there late like sometimes. rock will. he stays the hotel next door and he'll. just walk in late and he'll just watch. late sets i saw his got car get towed. once. from the club yeah he parked right in. front of the club.
and while he was on stage they towed. they towed him oh my god and then when. he got off. right i'm the one that had to tell him. oh no. yeah and he did not look good was this. recently or when you were working way. back in the day when you were working. there yeah. oh this is way back this is before bring. your pain. bring the pain bring the pain whatever. bring your pain whatever that's actually. a good title bring your pain to my show. bring your pain anyway rock was in the. bucket seats and he showed up late and i. had i had pushed my set because i had. done. the improv changed their time and the.
factory changed their time and then i. told adam i'm gonna be late. so i was late so then my spot you know. your spot slides down and i slid down. and i said i'll still do it. and it was a late spot there was barely. anybody in the room i'm like i guess. i'll just try some new [ __ ]. i get up there you know those you know. those nights when you're like whatever. there's nobody here it's like a tuesday. so i get up there i'm trying a bunch of. new [ __ ] it's going like mediocre. but it's fine like it's just in my head. i'm like this is fine. this is exactly what i wanted it's all. it's a bunch of new stuff i get off. stage. raucous i go to sit down to look at my. phone to turn off my.
recorder rock sitting next to me and i. was like. [ __ ] yeah [ __ ] and i turn and he goes. hey and i was like hey what's up yeah. and i just sat there on my phone and. then. before he gets up he kind of is like you. know like. looking to get up and leave without it. being like weird because we i just sat. right next to him. and he kind of go turns to me and he. just goes. a good set man and then he walks away. and i was like. no he knows he knows he knows how bad it. was.
and when you say good set man and walk. away no it was not good. so now he'll remember that who that kid. yeah yeah nah. did i tell you what happened to me hit. me with him at caroline's. oh my god this is the reason why i don't. play caroline's i'll. they've asked i'll just say no because. of this one experience did you used to. play it all the time all the time. i've only played it once so um. this is before tiger belly or bad. friends or anything. like i just didn't have an audience yeah.
you did. i had mad tv audiences but they were. dwindling sure. right so i would like sell okay tickets. one show. right and there'll be some shows it. would be completely not good. right like 20 30 people right. this one particular night it was a. saturday night second show and just no. tickets were sold. zero i mean i had maybe 12 people. saturday night down in new york is so. hard it's so hard and then also michael. i remember this day at night because my.
friend bess hanley. came from long island because he had. moved to long island yeah. from san diego i mean i knew her from. san diego and she um. she brought her husband and she had this. you know she had i. because i could see her she was like up. to the left right and this is her face. through my whole set. [Laughter]. she's trying to read something far away. yeah just like confused and like. also like very concerned yeah. like he might need to get a job were you. bombing it was not good.
it's just you yeah and it got to the. because i you know um. you know i do this thing at the end of. my set where you show your penis where i. get. completely naked yeah and i run around. it's the closer it's my closer. it's very humiliating they call it the. career closer. so this is so humiliating so. i 15 minutes of my set i just decided to. do it in the middle i just said i got to. do it now in the middle of the show yeah. i'm so i'm bombing so bad. i don't know what the [ __ ] to do you're. like i just also i knew it was okay.
because at the time. paul mooney did a third show i don't. understand that. so um on saturday nights paul mooney had. a like a. kind of he was a um he's like 7 10. midnight or something. yeah he yeah he was like the midnight. show but he came early and they're like. you can go short because paul's here and. this will be. proud outside to see paul of course of. course yeah. and also you have people have to realize. that when paul mooney performs you know. everyone shows up no matter what city. you're in like if you're in.
l.a paul mooney performed eddie murphy. and everyone would show up 100. right so um i knew paul moody so i go. i just do it now and get out and just. say paul's performing whatever. right and i'm on stage i'm sweating. right it's cold as [ __ ] i'm sweating. yeah. and and i'm naked and no one's laughing. right people are kind of getting up. right my friend. face is even getting work down here like. this. like anger almost and i remember just. picking up my clothes.
good night no cheer right walking off. and then i just remember. sweat and tears welling up right. and it was just terrible and you sat in. that tiny little green room they have. yeah so there's a screw up to the left. right yeah so i see a guy leaning. against the wall. in the corner i don't know who it is oh. yeah i don't know who it is. i have my clones and i'm walking and. walking and walking. completely naked by the way right and. i realize as i get closer i go if that's.
chris rock. i swear to [ __ ] god oh no i'm gonna. quit. so i see it's a chris oh so i go. i don't know what it says i go hey. i go hey what up man. right i'm shaking right hey what a man. man and this and what he said to me. right has been ingrained into my psyche. right it's what i wake up to it's what i.
sleep with yeah right. what are you doing man oh my god. you should get that tattooed on you what. are you what are you doing man. here's my response. i don't know and i remember being in. that green room dressing. right and i remember thinking to myself. i'm going to stay for palm no no. no no i got my leave and i just wandered. into the city. gone yeah gone those nights you deserve. to decide. yeah i have there's ten shows in my life.
that almost ruined you that that there. was oh. i had a [ __ ] show at cobbs al magical. saw it. where i went to the kitchen and i. literally got on my hands and knees. and i and i looked up in the sky and. just cried. it was that terrible natasha legere was. there. and i just was going i mean i there's. there's ten of them in my life that. stays with me. shows forever they were so bad yeah and.
and they're always like situations where. um. it could have ruined me like that show. with it at cobbs yeah. was zuckerberg it was for facebook. what yeah so facebook was rented out. cobbs. and they gave us the best comics it was. me ian edwards and tasha legero. al magical i thought they said the best. comics back in the. all right come on but at the time. yeah no no great yeah it was good all. good very good comments.
and so um and i had to close. right but by that time they were drunk. yeah and i just remember like. people were dancing like there's music. playing for some reason i'm on stage. and people are just like the party has. started. people just zuckerberg everyone's just. dancing right. i'm going to tell my jokes right people. are just dancing not even paying. attention right. i remember just putting the mic back in. going getting on my knees and just. screaming crying crying in the kitchen. oh my god it was terrible but you played. there again. madrigal loved it you never played cobbs.
again after that no that's the reason. people so i played the punch line yeah. which is like 150 seats. well they're owned by the same person i. don't know so cobb is like. you know i could make four or more 425. and every year they go. bobby you're different now you can sell. it out you can make so much money and i. go. i won't enter that because that was that. cobb is where. dr ken jung physically assaulted me when. he when when you guys uh. so yeah so the cobb says there's always.
like these. these events in my life yeah that i that. are granted in my memory that i like i. just can't. so whenever i walk in i get like this. ptsd kind of like. oh this that's where i had the broke. this is where ken attacked me. so um you know i love music yeah you're. a big musician i love earbuds. that's right my favorite earbuds are. raycon raycons are the best wireless. recons man. yeah they're great for me because i like. to run everyone knows i've talked about. it i run at night and my favorite thing.
to do is pop in. some wireless earbuds raycon are great. for a multitude of reasons they fit so. snug in my ear. the case is sleek and cool it doesn't. it's not bulky in your pocket. it's noise isolating for your earbuds. yeah it's normal. like you said the audio quality is. incredible i'm telling you the number. one thing that bob and i no joke have. talked about is. for the price people overpay for these. wireless earbuds. constantly and you're getting ripped off. for no reason uh. these things are worth the money they. sound so great and they're probably half. the price of what you're paying.
right now uh raycon is sponsored by a. lot of big musical artists snoop doo. double jizzle. which is uh bobby's favorite artist of. all time. and now raycon's being generous for the. holidays so on top of their everyday. prices that are already great they're. offering our listeners fifteen percent. off. go to byraycon.com that friends. today to get 15 off your recon order. that's byracon.com. friends buy recon dot com slash bad. friends. use this whole a day season make her. home. and be filled with joy and may your.
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millions of people that are using. hellotushy and they're happy get 10 off. plus free shipping right now at. hellotushi.com. for 10 off from free shipping. hellotushy.com bad friends. apparently there was a rumor that you. know that's like a hotel up above and it. was like a. halfway house some there was a rumor. that one time a guy. died and you know when you die you like. begin to leak. your body like leaks after a few days. wait wait wait and he leaked through the. fl the ceiling.
that's grow like the zit that's gross. no seriously he leaked his like his you. leaked he leaked through the floor. wait so your body liquefies absorbs into. the wood. when you die after a few days you start. to disintegrate and the liquid inside of. you. leak leaks out of your body. and he leaked through the ceiling and. they had to replace the ceiling. and i'm not kidding the only reason i. think i remember this is because when i. was there. in last year they had a leak from the.
hotel again. because someone had flooded their. apartment or whatever and it was leaking. into the club there was a water. dude i'm on stage right i'm on stage and. i hear this. i'm like what the [ __ ] i look there's a. bucket and the audience is laughing. because they've already addressed it. nobody told me i had no idea i look up. there's a leak coming out of the [ __ ]. ceiling. and all i could think of was is this a. dead guy. it's a dead guy's apartment yeah yeah. yeah they said that some guy had leaked. through he had done. your body i did not know that about the.
human body you know that rudy. um kinda what do you know about kinda. what do you mean kinda when the body. dies. what have you heard when the body dies i. know that the body um. what's the word that you use this sin. well disintegrates. it it does kind of slowly it decomposes. yeah. but yeah i know that the the liquids go. out because. they come out yeah you know like most. dead bodies just. poop yeah i i whenever i watch like. forensic shows and stuff like that i. just that you know and.
a lot of people get to want to do that. as a business why why would you want to. there's a guy on there's a guy on um. twitter there's an account on twitter or. or tick tock or something. and they show you when they go into. crime scenes after they're done or. or when people die in their apartment. it's insane. they wear hazmat suits they have to like. clean and disinfect everything. there's so much when someone dies. there's so much [ __ ] everywhere. yeah blood poop it's it's insane how. much blood and poop. yeah because if i was a friends guy i. watched so many movies that i would do.
things that they do in movies and then. it's probably not something that you. would do in real life like so they'd be. like. what are you doing right like you know. if i was at a crime scene and i would. like. take the refrigerator and like pull it. forward and they're like what are you. doing. like there could be a sign back here. looking for evidence yeah yeah yeah. sloth. hear me or whatever either like he had a. heart attack right here yeah. who knows who knows i'm ripping out the. scene yeah. i would do things based on like like the. movies you know right right you come in. eating a sandwich. bobby this is a crime scene.
yeah or like i would put the stuff on. that you know like in um. um silence of the lambs where they put. the stuff underneath the nose. i've always wanted to know what that. smells like oh i'm obviously not good. no the stuff that you do to to yeah it's. got to be super strong to match yeah. it must smell delicious though maybe. it's like [ __ ]. right it smells like [ __ ] it's probably. vapor rub it's like vixx it's probably. like menthol it's strong menthol. you think so gotta be what else can. block the smell what else is that strong. it's like some sort of like you know.
like uh dragon fruit. oh yeah like a dragon fruity kind of. lychee mandarin leeches. like really. or something that maybe mixes well with. dead things. so it's a with a combination of poop and. that makes a good smell. yeah right it's a chemical reaction i. always wanted to know what that smells. like it's like hot hands you know what. hot hands are. yeah it can't just be something you buy. a [ __ ] you know. no no that's special order type of [ __ ]. that's some you got to know someone that. has like those um.
the hookups for like industrial strength. things to be able to even get the. chemical compounds to do that. to be able to to be able to have the. reaction to it you can't buy it at. walgreens you know. you got to have a hookup i don't want to. go dark but i'm going to let's do it. it just i don't know why but that. reminds me of that. i don't know what the kid's name is but. there was a kid. who was maybe 11 years old 12 years old. okay. right and he um he wakes up one day.
and he his mom he has a mom right he. lives in an apartment he has a sister as. well is it a real story. he's a real story okay he wakes up one. day he's a 12 year old kid. and he goes um he gets a little argument. with his mom. like you know i want to go out and play. and she's like no you can't or whatever. so he decides to go take his like. playstation controller. wire and he strangles his mom what. yeah she dies and then um. he cuts her brain like he cuts.
her skull skull yeah yeah. by the way this is why they have. wireless controllers now you know that. with this one. and then um he decides to stick his. finger stop it. no i'm not kidding you no yeah in her. head. in her head he wanted to know what it. felt like right so he took his finger. and he went quick and mixed it you. wanted to mix the brain he said. maybe give her a different thought right. then with this little kid why he's wild. this kid. what he does is i already know what he. puts his penis in there not the prince.
the [ __ ]. he has sex with his dead mom yeah yeah. no no no not the brain that's crazy. that would be sick be funny yeah. right it'd be funny yeah he had sex with. his dead mom with a hole in her head. yeah. and then this is he waits for his sister. cause he's gonna do the same thing yeah. but you know what's so funny well i. don't know if this is funny. you know what's so funny all right so. this is what he does to turn himself in.
he goes next door to the there's this. old white pair. people yeah right this old white. people's couple. living in the house he rings a doorbell. and. he stands there right he's got brain. he's got brain on his face on his. fingers. you know what i mean he's like he's got. his mom's you know vaginal juice in his. face. sweating you know mean yeah and he said. hell he goes good evening. and they go this young man what's the. matter. i [ __ ] my mom to bring no brain.
you know he [ __ ] he just told him. told him yeah he's like i killed him. kill my parents squish my brain just. because just because she said no to. something. what's his name kevin davis are you sure. how was he able to choke his name david. i'm sorry oh. do you hear that that doesn't seem time. out i felt like did you hear what rudy. just said what. say it how was he able to choke his mom. when he was just 11. strong those chords are are hard to. break i mean.
yeah that is kevin davis so he choked. his mama she's got a good point though. he was really strong at 11 years old he. looks like an engineer. ew that's the kid yeah jesus christ what. an ugly looking kid. i know that's the mom oh poor mom. and how he was 11 years old he was like. how old was he. well you're honest looking right now. exaggerated rudy good call how can you. eleven-year-old choking out a mom is. pretty strong well maybe he was a strong. kid and she was fifteen. seven seven i'm sorry huge gap massive.
difference. i know but you know when i tell stories. it has to be that i understand. so this kid is five and he's beating the. [ __ ] out of his father. 17. how gross yeah how gross still young. so young yeah i got a new show what's it. called. how to with john williams on hbo maybe. one of the funniest shows i've ever seen. in my entire life. it's called how to how to with john. williams i believe is the name.
john williams nathan fielder executive. produced it you know nathan fielder from. nathan for you. right um this kid this guy this man. makes me laugh. so [ __ ] hard how to okay with john. williams you must watch john wilson. sorry john wilson. this this guy made me laugh so he's. basically like a he's like a filmmaker. and he goes around new york and he like. kind of jumps scenario to scenario to. scenario and you follow him along this. like. brilliant line of like just free-form.
comedy thinking it's a documentary. it's a it's a comedy docu-series yeah. and he's behind the camera you don't. really ever you don't ever get to see. him you just hear him narrate the whole. thing. um fascinating bob fascinating. it's so funny i'll watch it it's j it's. just such a like a weird. i like watching comedies that don't have. comedians in it. yeah he's he's definitely just like kind. of nathan fielder was like a. super straight man yeah he's a comic but. he's a straight man why i should be. better at that you know being a straight. man no. to be able to support friends and things.
you do. you do you do you support davey you tell. you talk about my show davey all the. time i don't watch it though. of course not i know but it's like i. want to be able to like go. you know watch something that's my. friends are in. yeah i think if you fall upon it. naturally it's probably better yeah but. do you watch things that your friends. are in. um no no. no but why that's not true i mean i saw. love and you were in love. yeah but you didn't know i was and i had. three lines that's right that's correct.
uh what else um yeah i'm trying to think. of the shows that my friends are on that. i watched but like. no they're shows that i wish i was. friends with the people on the shows. like what we do in the shadows i wish i. was friends with them all right because. i think they're all. i know one guy they're brill they're. brilliant who's the tv show. yeah who matt yeah he's so so funny. beyond talented but um. like most of the things i watch i don't. have anybody that i know in it but also. like uh. what are our friends in that we should.
be watching what's inside what's. something that we should be. like when the league was out did you. watch that i saw a couple episodes. but did you yeah yeah yeah no i did i. did i watched. i would watch it i'd watch it i i don't. i don't appointment view tv ever i never. was like i gotta watch it i'm working. do you ever watch that sure i saw some. of those too yeah but i never. i never watch things habitually i don't. ever do that. now that we're in this time of like i. can consume all the episodes i want like. i can sit and watch how to. i can watch them all in one night and. then i'm done but that wasn't the way.
years ago you used to. you know i was like oh i saw this. episode i see that episode yeah but as a. kid i was a. fan like i would watch me too anything. comedy wise no matter what it was but it. was scheduled comedy like. it was tuesday night you know it was. even just movies like. even if it was like a movie right that. like. you know i knew three people in but are. they making comedy movies anymore no. even. do you not get what i'm saying well like. what you're saying you would watch it. even if you knew one person and they had. one line.
it just takes me out of it because you. know them now. it takes me out of it right yeah i don't. know what it is it's like. they could be the best actor it just. kind of just makes me go ah who do you. think you're friends with that's the. best actor what. what which one of your friends is. literally the best actor out of all your. friends. that's a good question that even the. public would go yeah that person is. probably good. that i know personally yeah that you're. actually friends with not someone that. you like they have to be a stand-up. no just the best actor that you're. friends with.
like someone that i think that the best. actor that i know is stone straight. eric yeah i mean he's a very talented. actor he's a good actor yeah he's a good. actor he's a really good actor. and he's won emmys yeah so that's pretty. good yeah. what else um you think you'll ever win a. trophy. seriously do you not care. i just too scared of when of do being. good. no i just i just know myself on set and. i'm just confused.
right you yeah i don't think they're. confused you think they know exactly i. don't know what's going on. they know exactly what they're doing. like there's like this is so. embarrassing to say give it. this is so embarrassing but. it's so embarrassing i have to say it. so when i was when i just was in hawaii. yeah right. i don't read the scripts do you read the. scripts yes. what you read the whole script it's your. job i don't read it you've never read. the script no. i don't know what's going on so how do.
you know what scene you're doing i i. always go. i tell whoever the guy is right. the pa yeah night before just send me. the sides. right they do yeah they email them to. you yeah so i read the sides. but you don't read the full episode no. no so sometimes i don't know the context. of why i'm saying certain things. that's a huge issue yeah so like there. was a line where i i got. so there was an old lady there right. and we're having this banter back and.
forth right i don't know who this old. lady is. right i know her name real name is jade. woo. she's from new york she's an old asian. actor she does a million things. stop saying old older she's 67 older. older yeah and um so we hung out you. know maybe we smoked cigarettes together. and we banter about you know i mean life. and. pandemic and whatnot did you guys squat. while you smoked were you squatting we. don't. we have chairs man don't be like that i. just in my head you and. and little asian woman squatting so um i. can't believe i never thought that so.
there was this line where i'm saying. like. you know if you were younger i would. date you right. and time out would you no but in the. line i say that right. but i thought i was being literal. oh you're oh right right because i don't. know the. our relationship you don't know the. concept of the context. because you didn't read the [ __ ]. script yeah so i was like reading it. like. you know what i mean you know if you're. younger i would date you.
like like i was being real yeah you're. being literal literal. and then cut cut. right you could hear people talking you. come to me you go dude you're. it's you're joking. and you're like that's mean and i. wouldn't joke about it i go oh. right but then it's like then everyone. realizes that you don't read this. i don't read the script right and. there's like a little bit of. embarrassment going on sure. right where i go oh sorry i don't read. the scripts i say it out loud but they.
don't care. i know but still i should read it yes. yeah yeah but yes so i'm doing this i. want people to make i'm making an. announcement. please don't roll your eyes i didn't. [ __ ] rude i didn't. but i got a big movie bob okay. what is it i can't tell you what it is. yeah well then why even bring it up. because they won't let me but i i got a. big movie and i'm the second lead in it. wow okay can you say who else is in it. um. no i don't wanna.
cover your mouth. [Laughter]. yeah december 12th i'm going to be in. phoenix are some tickets left uh for me. i'm doing a couple shows in phoenix one. time only. desert show rick rick bronson's room no. i'm going to be uh. downtown are you doing uh stand-up blogs. stand-up live yeah yeah that's a great.
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any script right and i've done a. thousand things. right but i'm starting to do it yeah and. how was the script. really good really funny did you say yes. before you got the offer or. like did you say yes before you read it. no because i had to read it first before. i had the meeting because i had to still. vie for the job. right because you were still nervous you. might not land no i had to. they wanted they didn't offer it to me i. had to have a. zoom meeting right to talk about the. script. they just wanted to prove that you could. read the script. right so like when i was in the zoom.
call. yeah i had to talk about it right and go. yeah. i think my character is very interesting. because. he changes and shifts through you know i. mean and you have to talk about right. now you have to [ __ ] you [ __ ]. your way through it and i had to immerse. myself in the material. i know how to do it when i read a script. i understand it. i understand what character is doing. what not i just so lazy. yeah you're right i just don't do it you. know what you could do next time is. hire somebody to read it for you.
i i found that reading it right and then. also. convincing them that i was the right guy. for the job. was it made me less nervous about even. doing it really. when you read when when you read scripts. do you envision it or you're just kind. of getting through this time i did i was. envisioning it. and also i just here's the one thing. that i've never done before. i've never done before where i read it i. was like. i can't wait to do this but so i read. that. but um and it's you know i'll i'll be.
honest with you everybody listening is. that you know i'm getting you know and. or two i think feel like you too. that we're getting a lot of you know. love from. bad friends bad friends is my favorite. no i'm being real. i think so am i i like doing this more. than i like doing. anything else i'm just saying though. that are you listening kind of. yeah that i feel like what we're doing. george. you know alonzo alonso alonzo. rudy um i think what we're doing here is.
um. a good thing i think it's i think it's a. wonderful thing don't be like that i'm. beyond genuine right now this is my. favorite thing do you think i'm kidding. when i say this i like doing this more. than i like doing stand-up more than i. like doing. dave it's just i get to come here and be. free with my friend it's like. my favorite thing on earth i don't. dislike any i don't not to disrespect. the other things. this is the most fun i get to have yeah. and and. i unlike you i do like to read the. scripts and i don't get offered anything. so maybe i should go to. not reading them because you do so many.
things dude you beat me out of the world. i already told you that. it's fine but that being said um on this. transitional note. rudy as we know likes bad scripts she. likes terrible stuff. that have no depth no character. development and so. in in lieu of this rudy this is her. request. she wants us to read a scene from hunter. hunter her favorite show. and we'll let the fans decide if this is. quality material or not. um um what am i gonna play which one am. i. uh andre kalua i'm kahlua i'm kalula.
akalgo yes yeah which one you're in. well go ahead and tell us how to say the. name you're the one that you're the. expert. um. i don't this is a this is my wig that. they got for me. do you want to wear this no you can wear. it it's not going to fit on your head. well because i need to look asian you. guys do look asian. i'm the only one in here that doesn't. look asian so i need to look like an. asian.
okay do i look asian. no no no no that didn't work i don't. look asian no you look better. i look gooder yeah yeah yeah look more. good okay. i'm uh kahlua and and who's rudy. rudy's not in this no i'm just gonna. read oh you're gonna read the name oh. you're gonna be the narrator yes yeah. cause we can't hear fancy b he's too. tough to. make out okay here we go this is hunt a. scene from hunter hunter. rudy's favorite show look at her smile. look at it see we try to make her happy.
too. okay ready yeah go ahead rude previously. on hunter hunter. these suction cups save me anyway. aren't you an octopus. [Laughter]. hunter hunter.
go ahead strange bees and monsters vast. riches hidden treasures. evil hunts uncharted frontiers the. mysterious unknown the people who are. captivated by the magic in those worlds. are called. hunters. a mob of assassins attacks kilauea after. he and gone split. up to stop this election one of them is. icargo. an octopus chimera ant aren't you. an octopus octopus.
[Laughter]. he flies away see ya. i need to find a new horse i can't. charge up my neck shot. i'll let the ortho siblings take it for. me here. but out of nowhere killa jumps on him. grabs his gun. and attacks and attacked himself to a. rock using the khmer arms. yo we meet again. can i ask you something sure go ahead.
why didn't you dive underwater to escape. you should have an advantage in the. water. don't tell me you can't swim. it's the blood right when they smell. blood your bodies in the water go. berserk. and ask the injured no matter who it is. with those wounds if you went in there. you'd be turned to shreds am i. i wrong that one way too andreas you're. the dragonfly. or dragonfly hey cargo did you finish.
off the kid. no she didn't change his voice try to. change your voice or. anything can't do it again lead him into. it with your oh well. oh well i suppose that's one way to. eat calgo did you finish off the key. same voice. didn't make like a small attempt to. change the voice it shift or anything. we're going to do it one more time bro. it's not even hard it's not. hard at all oh well i suppose that one. way too.
oh i can't go did you finish off the kid. give george a shot george go ahead try. it try to be the dragon. well i suppose that one way too oh. did you finish off the kid pretty good. you're. you're you're hired no we were still. fighting. who are you talking to are you screwed. up. wait wait oh do we change rules there.
yep yep let me do it again. okay okay no we're still fighting. who you're talking to i screw up right. you can you all can communicate via. telepathy. talking to your boss it's that guy who. was flying over me. right wait now look here. hey. he's spanish hispanic it's so funny he.
sounds more. hispanic than andres does. you could see that what i might be doing. yes we're still fighting. a dragonfly creature flies in the forest. i think. jules you're the creature but you should. do a different accent okay. ready a dragonfly creature enters the. forest. oh sorry to interrupt you let me know if. you learn anything. if he sees a dozen of dragonfly flying. around inside a grave.
the enemy would go suspicious i won't be. able to sell my satellite. dragonfly inside very good jewel back in. the cave. let's make a deal then if you tell me. about his power i'll spare your life you. have 10 seconds to answer. kilo throw the khmer arms in the water. the sea creatures go. crazy devouring it eight seconds left. icalgo is puzzled six seconds ikalgo's. mind wanders dreaming.
[Music]. octopi are ugly squids are squid. horrific. i think they look divine two seconds. i won't betray your body icargo cut his. arm off and falls in slow motion. yes i could see that in your eyes i can. only hope that in my next life. i'll be born or squeezed with.
quick moves kilowatt catches ical gurus. rescuing from a certain death. why because you're a cool guy in. different circumstances. we could have been friends wow. i kind of wanted to show now are we are. we close. um your voices are very different. because kilauea is a. 11 year old oh oh what's what's kalgogo. icalgo is an octopus he has like a. squeaky voice.
why did he keep why does he keep saying. don't call me an octopus when he is one. because he doesn't want to be an octopus. because he want to be. a squid because all of his friends bully. him. oh this is deep oh i wish that's the. context that yeah. well if you read scripts you'd know. context lesson is learned here that's. pretty impressive though. i i got to be honest with you at first i. thought that was gonna be like uh phooey. and i really did like it like at first i. was like this is stupid but it's really. good huh. did you watch that show undoing on hbo.
no okay what is it what's what is it. have you is that what it's called yes. you finished it. i did because i'm on f i'm on a it's not. a comedy right. it's not no no um i'm on episode andre's. like it's a murder mystery yeah i. finished episode four. yeah and it's just so depressing. that it's like i i find it hard to. continue is it worth it. uh i think so it just now listen. like i'm at a point uh maybe i'll talk.
to you after the show about it but. you know it's like it's just so [ __ ]. depressing it's like. the undoing yeah listen. nicole kidman by the way we can't give. spoilers away anymore because people. online are really mad that whenever we. talk about a show we just give away the. show. i think we've done that like six times. people are like why are you guys. spoiling the show. they're not gonna watch it they are. they're not all right give it away. no i i haven't seen i haven't i don't. know because i don't want to i don't. want him to spoil it for me that's why i. want to talk to him all right good talk. to him afterwards. don't don't ruin it yeah don't ruin the.
the the the depth of the undoing rudy um. you have a surprise for us i heard. george told me you've got something. yeah oh take a chance on me sing it. no do it now no no she was singing take. a chance on me by ava. take a chance on me take a chance out. i always know the chorus take a chance. take a chance take a chance take a. chance.
take a chance on me that's it i'm going. to talk about our new puppy. oh yeah but wait a minute don't you have. yeah i want to hear it but don't you. have a report for us. oh i have something to promote yeah what. is it. um i'm doing a senior project that. focuses more on like. giving back to the community. specifically for the dogs in the. philippines. this is great and then there are about. 12 million stray dogs in the philippines. and most of them are askals.
askals are our indigenous street dogs. and. they're often overlooked abused and not. taken care of because. they aren't purebreds so um. i'm doing i'm gonna be selling shirts. beanies and stickers and to raise money. and everything that i will profit will. be given to. five main shelters in cebu and maybe. manila. especially at a time like this where a. typhoon just hit the philippines. awful so a lot of dogs have died a lot.
uh. are currently starving so i hope you. um help me in this and so um. bye my things yes what are you selling. shirts shirts are they just your shirts. that say your face. i mean i don't know um the the. um designs will be dogs and you're. designing them yeah i'm gonna be. isn't that awesome that's awesome yeah. twelve thousand stray dogs.
twelve million yeah well what no twelve. million. no rudy no way yeah twelve million. twelve. that's all. yeah yeah she did say she was like a. typhoon hit and i was like god all those. people she's like but the dogs were dead. yeah the people care about the people. but you do see a lot of them and they're. like they're. like you know they look like uh pirate. dogs. okay they're just like walking with one. eye missing like a wooden. paw you know i mean just like walking. down the street and it's just like.
the dog is smoking yeah yeah it's really. sad sad. yeah so all the so rudy when's that. stuff going to be up we have to tell the. the peeps when it's going to be up. it's still going to be next year next. year so at the beginning of next year. you guys got to watch out to support the. the rude jude because she um she. deserves it she wants to help out other. people and all the prophets are going to. go. to a foundation is that what it is yeah. that's right. were you there when we went to the. philippines cebu and we. fed the the kid those homeless are they.
homeless. kids they live in squatter area. areas yeah so like we we we went and got. like um. little lunch boxes thousands of them. yeah in a truck. okay right we go to this place right and. it's like. roosters and just garbage and in this. landfill. right and then they have like little. like it could be huts or caves what are. they. hot caves okay yeah and you you have a. table you set it up. and they all come running out and some.
of them are naked. they are i'm sorry why are you laughing. well because when you i think about you. naked when you say. i make it too i know. you're like we brought your lunch. and it's like um and goats as well right. there's goats. right tied to like like on sticks. on the ground right and they're just. like is it food. no i don't know what they are are they. pets food. it's from it's for milk.
but um it's just uh and then when you're. when you're you know and you're. feeding them and um it's and when you. when you're in doing that you just kind. of realize. you know. we have to do more of it your i. completely agree. i we do it's um every year we adopt. either a family or we adopt teenagers. that are homeless here in los angeles. and i gotta tell you you told me this. yesterday i got to tell you it on the. phone. it moves me and here's why and i'm being.
very genuine when i say this yeah. okay i had two moments of of like. movement in my life that comedy aside. when i you get the email the request. list from these people what they want. from for. christmas and it would it would make you. feel disgusting about yourself because. it's like socks paper towels. a bath towel took up like a new towel to. take a shower. and you get these lists and you're like. this is all this kid wants. they don't ask for toys they don't ask.
for like hey i want the new ps5 it's. like. hey i love socks i don't even have socks. or i don't even have a [ __ ] clean. bath towel so. we didn't get him any of that [ __ ] we. got him a ps5 but. no but but it does make you feel like oh. it just it puts things in perspective it. puts a lot of things in check and. subsequently of course yesterday i was. having a long day. we're shooting 15 hour days on davey. it's insane i shot till 3am. this morning oh my god and one of the.
girls in one of the scenes was sitting. there next to me and i was kind of out. of it not paying attention. to because they're i'm not up i'm in my. chair yeah and i'm kind of like dozing. out of it. and she was saying oh i love the show i. said oh thanks that's very cool and. she's like i'm just so elated to be here. and i said yeah she was like a guest. star for the day. i said yeah that's it's awesome i'm glad. that you're here you're you're doing. great. and then it's kind of quiet and she goes. is this not exciting for you. i said no no i just it's it's one in the. morning i'm tired and we got here you. know and she's like no i know i know.
yeah no i was here and she was peppy and. and she goes just just just know you're. living someone's dream. that's what she said to you yeah and. then you know what i was that that's. crossing the [ __ ] line wait a minute. wait a minute. she she meant because she's living out. her dream. and she's like you're living someone's. dream this is this she didn't mean it as. like a fu to me. so she walked away and did her scene and. it made me. it made me like sit in it for me i was. like that is right this is somebody's. dream oh sorry. it was it's somebody's dream i apologize.
and then i walked up to i walked up to. the second a.d. and i said what's that girl's name yeah. and he said her name and i said. okay good and he said why what's up and. i said you know. i want to i want to remember her name. and i want to say her name today. what's her name. he forgot i forgot yeah i forgot. and genuinely i had her fired because i. said don't you [ __ ] talk to a.
principal actor that way. you guest star i know i struck her. across the face and i said get me a t. no she was very sweet and genuinely um i. didn't ask for her name. but i did it did make me think oh yeah. that is neat that this is someone's. someone's dream so it put things into. perspective it's the holidays. you know yeah it's tough for you to. absorb that kind of stuff. it's just it's difficult yeah i know. hello bob. hi no see you didn't absorb that time i. don't want to all right yeah i didn't. want to absorb it right now you're a. block. yeah wall there's a wall there's a big.
wall up. you have to let you know you know it is. someone's dream. it is of course it is right it's a lot. of people's dream and it yeah and it's. like. you got to go to hawaii shoot magnum p.i. that's incredible it is incredible but. just could i just say this they flew. you take it off papa. i'm taking my jacket off is this the. closer no. [Laughter]. it is someone's dream and you have to.
remember that that's fine and i believe. that. okay but there's no pot there's a butt. you know it's there it is that's the. butt no it's not okay i didn't see it. but. i said it for you but but i don't want. that in it okay i won't. all right but but. [Laughter]. really i do do the same yeah you have to. say but um. it's not as if and and my journey is not. your journey correct right we have two. different different journeys.
but there it is i know. it when i when when i'm on a set and i. see like. a girl that like her parents are actors. and actresses. right and they're 17 right right and. they. this is the first thing i auditioned for. and i got it right. right maybe for that person you know. what i mean. it's somebody else's dream they should. be [ __ ] grateful but for me it's like. you know i came here you know.
in from a different on a boat from korea. it felt like that. right you know it felt like i'm homeless. i was in la living with i'm not trying. to do a boohoo story. but like with 12 guys in a one-bedroom. apartment in silver like for years so. this was your dream. no i'm just saying though that like and. then like i. crawled 10 000 auditions. got getting nothing right right yeah and. then finally like getting to a place.
where. because of podcasting i feel like. talent ability you know whatever you. know what i mean sure and so when i'm. on the set i don't really go i when. people go well this is great a dream. it's like. [ __ ] i [ __ ] worked my way here right. should i said that to her. no but that's how i feel about it right. right it's like i don't you know it's. like. yeah you're [ __ ] you have a dream but. it's like i. [ __ ] crawled my way into the. situation right.
you earned it i worked at it. and you worked at it by not reading one. script. [Laughter]. i feel like i'm being ungrateful but. there is a feeling of. like dude i [ __ ] work to get here. these two things can exist. are you sure a hundred percent i feel. gross saying it. that's good but you know what i mean. like that chris rock story. i had to go through that right yeah i. had to live through just. you know that i had to live through like. carrying your clothes.
yeah not being able to eat for weeks. yeah right. yes when i did that scene in hawaii with. that lady jade woo. right the lady that you didn't yeah. correct okay. and we hung out right and there's. another lady on the show named amy hill. okay right who she played um. margaret cho's grandmother when she had. her show american girl back in the day. right okay so i'm friends with amy all. right. and i know right especially asian women.
from these are actresses from the 70s. 80s and 90s right. who had to live through being concubines. right. having one line right right and just. having these. terrible roles sure that they had to. [ __ ] audition. for you know working at a liquor store. and they have broken english. and they had so much more than that. right you break you buy everything right. so now. right now they're getting [ __ ] sure. right. there i don't look at somebody like jade. woo or [ __ ] amy hill.
and go wow you're lucky to be here you. worked your ass off you went through. some [ __ ]. difficult decades where hollywood. treated like [ __ ]. so when they're getting these like. regular lines with no accents and. they're. like get they get to play real people in. a real show. right i don't i just i applaud them and. i go you know you [ __ ] deserve to be. here. totally right yeah and you worked your. ass off but. you're not lucky they're living. someone's dream. that's all she's just saying you're.
living someone's dream how wonderful. you know there's there's certain things. about you. right you know what i'm saying right. yeah and you like to because i have a. sore throat right now because i'm being. argumentative yes. and you like to throw [ __ ] hot coals. in it mm-hmm why do you think i do that. you you like to play devil's advocate. why do you think and why do you get me. riled up so i can have a stroke. so he can kill me well it makes for a. good show. if you stroked out on this show one of.
her most successful episodes. i know are you kidding me this is the. thumbnail would you be the thumbnail. would you. you stroking out and me going it would. be wonderful by the way make that the. thumbnail. me going like this and bobby yeah there. it is yeah. um you're correct you worked very hard. you deserve what you got. what i'm saying is perspective wise she. didn't mean it any negative way she just. meant. you're living someone's dream how. wonderful yeah but a gall. right just listen though you think. you're all sitting there on set right. yeah you know and you memorize your. lines right and you're and you're.
you're you're getting focused on the. scene yeah. and some girl going we're just really. lucky to be here you're living someone's. dream. i just kind of want to go yeah tick and. just poke her [ __ ]. flick her eye i want to grab her cheeks. and go oh yeah look like. right that's what i want to do what do. you think rudy but then what you have to. yeah go ahead i want to hear her because. she's got good perspective she's young. she's smarter than us um i understand.
you do the intention of the girl wasn't. bad he just she just said that. you're living someone else's dream let. her finish. there are people there who doesn't who. doesn't. wasn't born to be like like fortunate. and then yeah they're just like they're. they have they dream of something better. and then. i i don't know the girl's intention. wasn't bad. then the intention's not bad don't yell. the intention's not bad okay she comes.
from a good place right. it's just it's one in the morning yeah. it's one month okay. you're tired i'm very tired right she. doesn't know you that well. not at all you know your history or. anything right yeah and just to have say. this bubbly thing like. you know you're living someone's dream i. just out of nowhere. yeah i mean what i would have done is i. would have went oh. nice thank you that's right you don't. put the response but then you should see. she's not gonna see the other side of it. what is it well i'll go thank you.
like she won't see this part of the face. right right but that's what i would have. done. right right it's. that turn of like absorb and like. what the [ __ ] yeah how did like how dare. you. no yeah you're bummed right mm-hmm but. then you come back around like this. yeah yeah yeah let's try let's try the. exercise right now yeah you're on set. all right and rudy is the girl yeah rudy.
say it let's see how bobby reacts given. the circumstances what do you want me to. do i want you to understand what she was. just saying to you and what i was trying. to say to you as well okay go ahead and. take that into consideration with your. response. okay hi hi. well you said hi this is our fourth. scene together. i just want to let you know as an. actress. i just i know your name is sally right. so sadly i want to say we said you said. hi to. me you know nine hours ago on our first. scene is this how you're gonna really. gonna read it yeah yeah so don't say hi.
again it's weird. sally say hi if you wanna say hi i wanna. say hi hi again. hi again sally here we are on set doing. our fourth scene. hi bean okay act like come on here we go. okay. okay let's start from the top yeah. please and let me be real how i normally. would do. do it for real all right so i'm sitting. there i have my script in my hand. no you no you have your phone in your. hand on my side you have your phone in. your hand now i always have my sides. crumble about looking at it. okay okay that's true okay and i have to. highlight certain things.
okay all right so i'm highlighting. whenever you're ready. hi bobby. do it again say the same thing. hi bobby hey sally.
it must have been nice huh it's a bit of. been life it must have been nice though. it's a bit nice too yes it's nice it's. nice. to meet you but it's nice to be living. someone else's dream. yes it sure is aren't you grateful i'm. so grateful that i am living off. someone else's dream thank you for. sharing that sally. okay bye bye.
okay bye bye and i'm just then and then. i'll be pretending to read my script or. my lines right you're not reading but. the whole time. yeah i'm thinking about you know i might. even google her. to find out got her imdb like if she's. worked before. sally mcmullen sally mcmahon let's see. what she's done. oh this is her first thing that's what's. where it's coming. and now knowing that yeah now she comes. back and she's now. gonna ask you hey do you know where. crafty is.
hey do you know where crafty is um yeah. it's. right there where all the [ __ ]. peanuts and the [ __ ] m m's are. see right there where the table right. next to me. yeah what happened i'm not being mean. you asked me where it was and i'm just. telling you it's right there. okay yeah yeah enjoy thank you. bye you're welcome [ __ ]. newcomer relax you're seeing your scenes. up in a minute. all right so sally yeah do you have to. go to the bathroom. yeah you should ask where the bathroom.
is um bobby. sally it's you again sally. hello sally do you know where the. bathroom is oh sorry i really need to. pee. i know you do and um i just wanted to. let you know real quick and it's really. great to work with you. right but um i am a principal on the. show i'm not a pa. see john hey ask him hey i'm john yeah. john. ask him but it's my first time here see. where that. see that door right there it says women. it has a symbol of a woman with a dress.
on it right. yeah that's the bathroom oh i didn't see. sorry. it's right right by crafty crafty. right by crafty him to go to the. bathroom right okay. can you go to the bathroom with me no no. in case i get um. sally i'm being honest with you right. now. i'll be up are you a blind special needs. actor i mean what is going on here. um i don't have my contacts on oh [ __ ].
all right fine my bad. all right let's go thank you it's right. here. that's how quick by the way ask if he'll. wait for you. can you wait for me. [Laughter]. i get really scared yeah when i pee okay. you get. okay and it takes so long oh right here. but you know um. we're about to shoot our scenes can you. just take your time to hurry up it takes. long. okay no no no this is. now i'm gonna tell you what's gonna.
happen now no no hold on let her. something happen. wait bobby i fell on the toilet oh she. fell you have to help me. you have to help you have to get in. there and help bob you you can't watch. me though. you can't watch me though i can't watch. you fall in the [ __ ]. yeah you close your eyes [ __ ] you hey. i'm opening my eyes now [ __ ] you. be nice she's disabled john i [ __ ] you. all right. okay first of all i want to say this. okay yeah number one who the [ __ ] is. this am i being pranked. yeah oh yeah yeah this is a yeah you got.
pranks sorry. sorry man this is actually the director. for the next four episodes. and the way you treat it or we're gonna. that's gonna get reported so you think. that. what i just did there right is mean okay. i'll show you okay. tell me how it's done all right go ahead. you now you're doing with andrew. hi andrew hey what's up. already [ __ ] you all right that's how i. would do it. that's how it happened i know i know. ready this is how it happened ready okay.
hi andrew hey how you doing. let me get through it go ahead i love it. isn't it nice what's that isn't it nice. to be living someone else's dream. yeah aren't you grateful i am i actually. am sally. i'm also grateful where are you from. texas oh nice what part of texas. somewhere there what's it what city.
what city in texas. dallas oh i love dallas i also love it. where do you. live i live here i live in los angeles. you mean where i'm from yeah i'm from. chicago oh okay. you know there's something about dallas. i don't know if you've ever known but if. you go if you go down 386. if you're on that highway on the. right-hand side there's one of my. favorite little stores there have you. ever been to. bunnam's web no no you haven't you have. to go. you have to go give me your phone number.
i'll text you i'll text you the address. or buttons web. okay what's your number 590. 590 yeah 5 9 d. all right so it's five nine in the. letter d zero. five nine zero five nine zero eighteen. seventy eight. eighteen seventy eight all right i'm. gonna call you right now to make sure. that's your number. oh you got it yeah i got it okay great. show me that you got it.
cool okay bye okay bye. scene a great exchange she left. right she left yeah all i had to do was. was talk about something that she wasn't. interested in. okay and she left this is what you do. though let's do it for a reason. i'll tell you let me do it let's do it. let's do it for real you want to see it. for real. you would not do that number one i know. i know let's do it you asked her. right what part of texas and if she. didn't know. you andrew santino would have known she.
was lying. she was a liar or there's something. weird about how she doesn't know what. city she lives in it does. it did piss me off yeah so you would. have confronted that okay let's go let's. see. this is for real yeah i'll do it for. real here we go give her a different. state. right throw him a different state she. can do it she knows all the states go. ahead she had to learn the capital to. become a citizen. hi hi andrew hey sally. isn't it nice to be living someone. else's dream.
aren't you grateful i am yeah i am i. am actually that's a very you are yes i. am sally it's my first time here so i'm. also grateful is this your first show. you've ever oh my god. yeah this is wonderful huh well i got to. tell you you're doing a good job. thank you yeah okay bye. bye yeah that's what that's what happens. yeah let me try it see let me try it. let's try it. yeah let me try it wait.
give me that. hi bobby hi sally. isn't it nice that you're living someone. else's dream. what isn't it nice to be living someone. else's dream. aren't you grateful i am nice it's nice. to live someone else's dream thank you. you know really you know it's it's it's. funny um here it goes. it's funny sally you know a lot of times. in this rigman role.
in this business you know oh that's. right. yeah you become self-centered and you. it's all about me. me me me and you know it's really nice. every once in a while. just live in the moment take a deep. breath and to realize. that we are so [ __ ] grateful to be. here that's right that we're working you. know and what an amazing. [ __ ] job we have is that not right. sally are you from sally. i'm from wyoming wyoming what city in my. own why you know you don't know any city. in wyoming.
so what state are you from sally i'm. from california there we go what part of. california. san francisco san francisco cool. uh you know bobby used to play cobs in. san francisco you ever go to cops. no oh what what comedy clubs do you go. to in san francisco.
um this [ __ ] isn't from san francisco. you're a liar liar let's expose her. where are you really from. i'm from the philippines what are you. doing here on this set. what are you doing on this show i'm just. an intern. you're just an intern you're talking. what what we thought you why do you have. sides and why are you in wardrobe yeah. someone told me to do it who andrew. are we all high.
this episode this episode is. specifically for people that smoke pot. let's say this uh i will say something. i'm grateful. um that you're back and you're healthy. and you're safe i'm happy to see you. i'm happy to see both of those guys um. and i'm excited i'm excited for the for. the holidays to come i put up my. christmas lights and my house looks. sparkly it's nice. jingle bells did you put up your lights. on your house. are you going to pay someone to do it. pay someone to do it i'm not going to do. it will you pay me and i'll do it.
yeah we'll do that next episode when we. talk about christmas but i want to talk. about right now. will you pay me to put up your lights no. i'm not putting up [ __ ] lights. because you're jewish no it's not jewish. it's like it's pointless speaking of. which um rudy's comment about jewish. about. who celebrates thanksgiving the next day. and it was canadians and she gets jewish. and boy is the jewish community pissed. oh. so mad so mad. yeah they are pissed i didn't mean it. like that. i'm kidding rudy there i'm joking people.
love you do you get somebody to attack. her on. instagram what do you mean you get her. first like hate her. yeah if you know why why because she's. here living someone's dream oh my god. thank you for being a bad friend. [Music].
