Life Of Poon | Ep 221 | Bad Friends
you two are bad friends who are these. two idiots a white dude and an Asian. dude you two are. disgusting you two or something we're. bad friends how do I not get a call from. any of you saying hey we are doing a. show it's official cuz we're scared. because what do you mean oh the the. cartoon yeah like cuz it's 30 years away. we we tell the people in our ecosystem. first and then we go outside of that. like the mailman and then after guys.
then you hear yeah then you hear you. hear about third mailman third cousins. right I've never heard it I got a. student of mine to text me hey I saw. this in the Press congratulations on the. show like well let me tell you something. we didn't we didn't know that they were. going to put a release out that day they. were asking us about it called Bobby six. times wouldn't answer the phone I said. where were you all day and then he goes. stardew Valley farming dude unbelievable. farming yeah yeah there's a picture of. the kids right there there's us three. how funny is my. insert I got to tell you it actually. looks nice you're not in that that's.
your real right we didn't yeah that's. real but I'm not in the actual photo. yeah but that's oh they put you in there. they're photosh oh I see that's because. of what's going on overseas right now. yeah yeah we can't have a photo of yeah. I know you're pro Israel but yeah don't. don't read the comments don't read the. comments yeah don't read the comments. about it so let me ask oh God damn it go. ahead buddy the Ry poy Farms a lot in. the show yeah that's all he does by the. way wait you just call me roly. poly you are a rly I just read it yeah.
in the show not in real life I'm saying. oh in the oh yeah yeah but I know yeah. you're. right let's hear the question yeah let's. hear. it get to it. sorry what was it what's the question oh. yeah yeah um well Nick no K talk last. night nicke. CHR CH CHR yeah don't don't worry about. that until we get the show off the.
ground it's Cree yeah yeah for me CHR. well I've been calling you crease for. years for 15 years and you never you. never corrected me no no no that I hate. when that happens that's your fault. you've definitely been corrected you. just don't hey Billy it's biley I go. I've been call you Billy for 15 you know. mean I don't like that you call biley. Smiley Billy yeah that's insane all. right so um Nick and I were talking last. night and can I ask you a question yeah. when I talked to you on the phone you. seem like you want to get off real quick. no I'm worried about the same thing with.
you yeah you do want to get off the pH. I'm a moment guy everyone knows that. yeah you're on the phone for a moment. and then you want to hang up no I live. in the moment yeah yeah I'm present I. live in the moment and listen to. everything you're saying but you're like. all right come on hurry up and I don't. like that that's projection it is. projection yeah you're right dude you're. so. smart I'm just why we got him Christ huh. yeah I love it so I there he is oh. that's when I did. the at midnight the original at midnight.
I did tooo you did yeah how many times. did you do it three or four times yeah. did you win ever never yeah never won I. don't think I won one family Fe oh with. with Tim Simons yeah yeah and ardan he. tall huh look how cool I am anyway um. look at how short you are you're shorter. than ardan [ __ ] shut the [ __ ] up dude. she's like 42 she's so tiny that's. insane to be tiny look Tim Simons is 66. yeah he's tall but still you're smaller.
than ardan who is a tiny tiny person. let's move on let's move on no problem. your problem no this is your you know. what your problem is what's my problem. I'll tell you what my problem is when. the movers unscrewed the TV stand oh. here we go they lost the screws so now I. have a TV on the floor and I sit on the. floor that's when you call Geek Squad. dude Oh you mean the the uh Best Buy. guys that not calling Geek Squad no I. just can't get screws right that fit. that's me with a Natty light no in that.
apartment oh my God that was used to be. my life but I got a word to the Wise. Wise to the word you got extra trash. don't call got Junk call Los Angeles. sanitation department all you have to do. is put in a request and they'll pick it. up y I just paid G trash you don't even. have to pay for that they'll just pick. it up you just have to let them know you. have more [ __ ] and I was like that's all. I have to do all these years huh pror he. eats he eats it I'm hungry.
oh I got a question I posted on. Instagram this morning this is a real. poll I haven't thought about this in a. long time but I had a cup of coffee and. I know mid cup I'm going to poop it's. about half a cup and I have to poop. what's your what's your number how much. a cup of coffee do you have to poop if I. have Buffalo mozzarella Buffalo right. with a cup of coffee with a cup of. coffee dude BR bro bro it's what you. went through last. week it it's it's. instantaneous cuz the pole the pole is. in right now so far we've got 41% of.
people have say that before they finish. a cup of coffee they have to [ __ ] 36%. 36% say within an hour yeah do you go I. I right away but well that's IBS IBS I. don't I don't mean to brag I you have. Cron's disease no I wish what's ibf IBS. bow syndrome he's Jewish you know when. you guys are born easy you know how we. all get like vaccinations and all that. stuff for tetan do they give Jew do they. give Jewish kids IBS I they give it to.
him in the hospital it's a requirement. you can't leave without it can't leave. without it I did my 23 to me and I'm. 100%. IBS I'm serious about the coffee thing. what is it with I I can't finish a cup I. got to go sometimes I bring the cup in. the bathroom which which just a Red Bull. that's what I do what is Red Bull Bud do. you even know what it is battery acid. it's [ __ ] it's [ __ ] trash it's. not good it's so bad for your body oh. [ __ ] man oh no finding this out citric.
acid toine what is toine 's the best. yeah what is it from the plant Tas T. Alanda it's an essential amino acid for. babies adult can make their own toine. but their high amounts of it. in you are big. baby can I. ask T makes me do that can I ask my. question though or because you're going. on a [ __ ] rant go ahead I'll get off of. it all right so I call you last night so. how many right mhm dates do go on right.
before the kiss. happens if you're good you probably get. it on the first date all right so I'm. I'm I've been I've been dating this girl. this two dates already girl go. ahead Bath House Bath House Bath House. bath. house you want to get out of here all.
right all right so you went on a date a. couple of dates with this girl why do. you do that it gets the whole room in a. VI I get into it and then then I lose my. train of. thought Bath House Bath House Bath House. Bath House Bath House bath. house all right two dates or three dates. so tonight I'm going on the third date. where to this is important cuz if you're. not getting a kiss where you take I've. taken her to nice restaurants what are. you talking about.
like thank you oh [ __ ] um the first time. we went out was. um I think I I don't want to say it you. can cuz it's over I know but but you. don't want to see. Rich what is it. Arby's it's um we got the meats that's. my go-to spot with every day so I don't. want the other girls that I've on that's. fine and go and they go well that's. where he took me you there's no way you. think there's no way we think girls.
don't know that you're taking them out. to the same places of course you are. we're creatures of habit you go to six. places all of us go to six places yeah. yeah P for me it's Chipotle California. Pizza Kitchen be real the v in the. valley I'm dead serious it's the same. six place all right but I Don't Stray. but okay if you okay the the six places. right that if you were going going on a. date with what are they I I have mine. you got your six yeah I think so I'm.
[ __ ] married we don't go on Dat I. know but just hypothetically if you were. single where would you go where would I. take them yeah probably to um East Side. [ __ ] m east side shit's hip [ __ ] that's. where the that's where he lives p no P's. not no P's over by us little Doms little. Doms is great that's good yeah like. Bestia yeah yeah yeah I went to mother. wolf that I like mother F and Funk EV. that's him same guy fun fun F good yeah. I go to Daman yeah bar Flores yeah. Damian's great Damian's we talk about.
Damian all the time Damian's great and. then you know bastia across the street. from there yeah hippo that's right. hippo's good what' you call me that's. his nickname no he talking about his. mom what's that. about you thought we'd move past that. what is that I I know you're right. you're right you're right what were you. doing right there being aggressive what. is that right there that you think you. were. doing I was being what do you think you. doing being aggressive again I'm so. sorry you think that was a good idea. that wasn't a good idea I don't think it. was a good idea you let that one go I. think that one's going to sit with me. for a minute. will you please let that one go I don't.
know yeah yeah yeah ask the question I. already did so how many do you think so. I'm tonight's the third dat she better. kiss you on the third date that's crazy. third date you don't even get like a. peck friend zone after that yeah that's. F oh wow Spanish has spoken. accent Amigo Zone yeah Amigo Zone that. [ __ ] burned me dude that hurt yep hey. have you been friendzoned oh my. everybody in their [ __ ] everyone in this. room everyone no no one is immune to the.
you've been friend zoned of course oh. thank the Lord dude I got friend zoned. one time so hard in college I went over. to this [ __ ] girl's dorm who I like. crushed crushed crushed on was putting. in all the work trying to do the right. thing she's like come on over and hang. out and I was like [ __ ] yeah maybe this. is I go to her [ __ ] dorm I'm kicking. it taking it easy not trying to be. aggressive no moves nothing great song. Take it. easyy take. ity house.
B I'm sitting on the like one of those. um what are those what were they called. the big bean bags Love Sack remember. those you know what I I call them what. your mom you. [ __ ] I love sitting on a love. sack on her dorm room floor and in walks. that was pretty good the guy that she's. [ __ ] oh oh yeah and she's like this. is my friend Andrew this is so and so. and I was like hey buddy and she. literally goes do you want to hang out.
and finish we were watching it do you. want to finish this we're going to go. grab something to eat I was like yeah. just hang I just hung out in the dorm by. myself that guy now this is what he does. for a living yeah that guy now oh wait. hold on let me guess keep going uh. that's not a bad that's not it's not a. bad wait wait wait that's not a bad no. my man I want to see what I maybe I can. guess what oh you guess it all right. let's see do it again um Di and Graves. no Di and Graves is that what you. guessed uh keep doing it let me see if I. can. oh keep doing it playing High doing it. keep doing it yeah you're never going to.
get I was just trying to get you some. exercise you're. never what does he do what I was just. trying to get you some exercise he pulls. rope oh he's a rope competition I'm the. I'm the Caboose you really are and I do. it this way it's like this all right and. then what what is this nailing Jesus to. the Cross yeah dude yeah yeah yes only. thing I can do bro that's so good that. guy did a great jobob he hung up there. for a while yeah so third so third date. you got to get a kiss I think if you. don't then you kind of know it's Amigo.
time you're. Amigos but can I can I say this and by. the way we're not advocating you don't. have to kiss anybody but if by the third. day you're not romantically interested. in someone ladies tell him but with Kila. back in the day it took me eight. dates really yeah to open up those. floodgates yeah I'm shocked it took me. like eight hung in there she really like. the restaurants yeah oh you son of a. [ __ ]. yeah Larchmont wine and cheese didn't.
cut it yeah so um that's interesting. that changes things yeah eight days yeah. cuz sometimes here sometimes when maybe. she was fighting off an. infection it could have been a couple of. days mad cow or something no like a UTI. maybe she had something she didn't want. to let you in eight you C you mean eight. maybe at the beginning she was fighting. off something she was on her period or. you never know it's a possibility yeah I. seems like a no I was in competition so. yeah you were competing against other. guys. with her she was single there was other.
options so she wanted to see if you were. worthwhile I think more time plays well. for you though Bobby so why why why. interesting argument well people get to. know you and you can't help but fall in. love with Bob I guess that's true yeah. but not love at first sight you are. definitely not love at first sight. unless it's I think he can be Second. Sight am I Love at Second Sight I mean. your love is. [Laughter]. blind Love is Blind right for sure yeah. so um yeah sometimes I do my personality.
I can get in there but it's like it just. takes so much like the reason this is. bothering you he doesn't know is last. week we talked about he went in for a. smooch and he got cheeked that's the. same girl I know so I got to tell tell. me that yeah I told you the last time. about the CH yeah you got you talked he. got Che he got out of the car real. quick this is why I think this is not. this girl doesn't want to be she wants. to be a homie she likes you as a human. kind of makes me so sad I like I'm just. text her kiss or n no no just send a.
poll yeah do an Instagram poll will this. chick kiss me tonight she'll see this is. what I'm gonna do you want to hear my. [ __ ] thing yeah are you being real. yeah okay so um if it doesn't happen I. kind of don't want it to happen Okay you. pull a gun out and kill yourself right. in front of. her yeah yeah this is your fault yeah. and I want to um and then I I like. moving on you never talk to her again. because I'll tell you something what. happened I want to tell something that. that happened to me I I was ever going.
to talk about this but right when K and. I broke up back in the day right I went. on a date with the girl same thing two. or three days nothing right and then she. was at the comedy store recently yeah I. hadn't seen her since then and we hooked. up that night at The Comedy Store this. is like I had seen her in like over like. a year and a half oo that's hot you're. me my point is is that sometimes you. plant the seed you plant the seed and it. will grow mhm those bonsai trees grow.
real slow but they do grow at some point. it's a long game it's a long it's a. hundred-year game yeah yeah yeah you're. playing the 100 when Mr Miyagi when Mr. Miyagi was cutting the beyon tree in the. original Kon yeah best movie yeah it's a. great movie so good what's the point guy. oh see you don't you missed when I was. watching the theater I'm like that's. what you do no you missed it completely. like the Benny jeser it it's patience. it's it's um it's it's it's meditation. but he doesn't even sell it on eBay he. just kind of has them well he had a pin.
Pinterest for a while I think Mr Miyagi. he did yeah yeah look at him no [ __ ]. that was his only fans back. then that's what only fans was trimming. Bonsai yeah. yeah look at Ral Macho he's like you. [ __ ] loser dude by the way Ralph. Macho same age today that he was then. you see a photo this guy I've met him. what baby blood is he drinking that he. looks that good he is also look at how. handsome that guy the nicest guy will. ever [ __ ] be not surprised great.
actor seem a good dude great guy give me. the age of this gentleman now he's 62. shut the [ __ ] up that guy's 62 years old. mhm that guy 62 how did I [ __ ] know. that dude that was good good than you. wow one of the nicest guys in the world. dude I love that guy so [ __ ] handsome. how did you know that what how did you. know he was 62 doing some late night. Googling that's I I think what I think. because when the night I met him all. right so I was hosting this thing called. the Asian accellence.
[Laughter]. Awards. sorry welcome back to the Asian. excellence. awards why would they use a word like. Excellence with Asians the Excellence. Award of all words to. use so yeah. then the Asian exence.
award hosted by JC. [Laughter]. P oh [ __ ] dude bur like I like it all. right times have changed times have. changed all right so your back in the. day yeah so you're hosting believe it or. not I believe it trust me I see the. asiano did it is he Asian no no but he. likes Kill Bill and stuff so he was on. the show that's where I have a photo on. Instagram where I met and have a photo. together that's when I met him Danny.
DeVito and then Ralph machio was there. too none of these guys are [ __ ] Asian. Ralph machio did an asan through L he. did Karate Kid yeah Danny DeVito why the. [ __ ] was he there cuz he's short like. you guys like as if you don't look his. eyes he could be Asian yeah I me think. about that from the back I'm like look. at that little Korean guy running away. yeah yeah so um and I Ralph Mai was. there and I remember I mean not that the. other people there were rude it's just. just he was more um available he was.
just night he was a moment guy like you. he's a moment guy yeah he was just like. I talking to me and I was just like and. um my [ __ ] my brother when he was. drinking was there that's when he was. still using what that's when he was. using my brother was still so so Danny. DeVito Tarantino and Ralph Macho they. were sitting on Backstage on these. couches and my brother was on the. outskirts drinking completely drunk and. he kept walking up to Ralph Matthew I. swear to God going kid dud and then. backing up he's not wrong though yeah.
and I would go I remember going. Steve stop right he's like dude cry. can't D you know what I mean like like. [ __ ] like a Stony drunk I love your. brother yeah he didn't know anybody by. the way those three guys [ __ ] Mary kill. Danny DeVito Ralph machio and uh [ __ ]. Mary kill Asian IND and. Tarantino yeah [ __ ] Mary kill all right. so who would I Tarantino Danny DeVito. and Ralph machio [ __ ] Ralph machio sure. yeah uh I mean probably kill Danny deito.
you'd have to kill Tarantino because the. name of the sake of his films Kill Bill. kill kill Quinton that's true but then. you'd have to [ __ ] Danny toito though. how fun to toss that guy around yeah. that's easy that's the easy part he's a. spinner oh yeah yeah maybe okay he. [ __ ] connect he's same size as. me we could 69 it would be like just. like two blueberries rolling around in. the yin and yang cuz usually when I 69 I. had the yeah me I have to reach a. jumping 6 but you know you guys cuz. you're both like little rotund bellies. it's like two magnet to the same side. you just can't [ __ ] they just can't.
connect they just can't touch I had a. girl once say that like D I like that. you have a belly because it rubs against. my [ __ ] and I can come quicker really. yeah I was like what it does that your. belly goes down that far yeah I guess it. does that my God yeah anyway um that's a. tip for tip for guys out there yeah it's. a tip for guys anyway so um Ralph Macho. great guy Ralph Macho is the guy that we. would marry yeah uh can I ask you. another question quick this is something. I came in. with floor's yours okay oh sorry my bad.
um you're the captain you know you. better believe it toot toot I'm Spock. though aoy yeah yeah you're Kirk I'm. Spock by the way put me on a boat and I. get so gay put me on a [ __ ] boat and. I get gay check off you're a check off. okay that's fine anyway um yeah I'm good. with that yeah so um let me ask you. something so what I want to say is um I. was thinking about last night you know I. lay in bed mhm and I got to show can I. show you what my room looks like now. this is your new interior designed room.
yeah yeah I this is just one part of it. wow that looks beautiful it's beautiful. I hope so for the money yeah I love. being in there anyway um I was laying in. bed in my beautiful new room listening. to some tunes what are you listening to. I was listening to Sarah mclin's ice. cream really mhm that's ice cream I like. that okay your love is better than ice. cream Zach you know when you get corner. by that Aunt at a family gathering and.
you feel like you have to bend the truth. yeah the one that asks you it's like. when are you going to get married when. are you going to move when are you going. to quit bad friends I don't like it it's. not a good show you know what I'm not. listening to you Auntie because I have. Zach do the place where you can find a. book doctors that make you feel. comfortable and actually listen to you. okay I mean we do it with restaurants. and other things and why not do it with. your life yeah why wouldn't we do it. with our life it doesn't make sense and. we're not talking about a few Andro. we're talking about tens of thousands of. doctors all with verified patient.
reviews so you can make sure the Vibes. are vibing before you ever meet uh IRL. it means in real life with Zach do you. got more options than you know okay uh. Bob and I both use Zach do I did when I. moved to my new neighborhood it was. really tough because who knows where to. turn uh who how do you how do you get a. new doctor other than ask someone that. you know and I had no one in my phone. book that I wanted to call to be honest. with you so Zach do took care of all. that stuff you don't have to settle you. go for the best and find the right. doctor with you with Zach do you got.
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dk. cbball for eligibility wagering and. deposit restrictions terms and. responsible gaming resources [ __ ]. [ __ ] is better than ice cream [ __ ]. ice cream is better than [ __ ] [ __ ]. ice cream from Salt and Sprout you're. right yeah dude Sal and Sprout you're. right. mccon Santa Barbara Jaz 31 Flavors. though I mean Basin Robbins I take head. over that yeah yeah yeah. okay obwe say that's a Midwest thing. over we Dair is so [ __ ] good my God. those cows look they look like they're. something happened I mean when you see.
those farm cows dude they're like 900. [ __ ] pounds and you're like holy [ __ ]. this poor thing they've just inflated it. dude so it's just piss and milk I saw a. [ __ ] Tik Tok the other day about a. woman who what do they put in there the. cows hormones they juice these. [ __ ] up so your mom got it. [Laughter]. done oh sorry that's last one sit down. so let me ask you something so um there. there's Bobby there I am there's Bobby. amongst of other Comics that's a green. room.
that was so good dude thank you I love. you um I'm telling you if you don't get. a [ __ ] kiss from or or not a kiss I'm. sorry I don't want this sounds. aggressive if this girl doesn't make it. obvious tonight that it's not happening. well no shame Nick told me to just ask. you got to be straight up so at the end. of the thing if I feel like I'm going to. can I just talk to you for a second I. just this feel is friends on you would. you agree I'm fine with it but yeah. something like that don't don't don't. give her the ammunition just go don't.
say this feels just go hey I just wanted. Clarity do you want to be more than. friends that's too direct no because if. you say if you give her the bait to go. this feels friend zone then she's going. to go I guess maybe it is you're telling. her how you feel he might be right there. ask her ask what she wants do you want. to just be friends which is fine oh. that's great okay I I just need to know. if you just want to be I'll do it in my. own wording cuz we're going to go to a. different restaurant if do it in your. own do it in your own words dude that's. so true right do it in do it do it in.
your words I'll do. it that'll be your own. words we got to get the Spaniard on. it anyway oh you shot at me [ __ ]. three times with my mom so what don't. get mad that I shoot back I'm not doing. anything all right anyways good I'm. accepting also as you as [ __ ] your. best boy I want you to win you know I.
want you to win yeah I didn't do that. but this kid's the real Casanova over. there he is our entire life you know. here's my jealous my entire you're. closer to him than you were to me no. it's a longer friendship I've known him. for so long long he's my oldest friend. in Los we're all about to be best. friends for forever forever forever BFF. okay so can I ask now I was listening to. ice cream by Sarah mlac yeah can we go. back to yeah yeah ice cream better than. sex yeah and I I remember there are. people in my life that were in it for a. brief period and then they just. disappeared and I just never saw them.
again because they're dead no I don't. know if they are or not hopefully but. they were like so influential you know. what I mean in my Voyage or my journey. to here what's taking you away from. reaching out to them I don't know how to. even get a hold of anybody I just want. to so I don't even know last names. really so how influential could they. have been you don't even know they're. [ __ ] pretty influential so may may may I. give us an example I'm going to give you. two examples if I may please may okay um. the first example is I remember I met a. guy his name was Randy he was Jewish.
okay I'm. out and he looked like Stanley Tucci oo. like at the time I'm back in yeah at the. time somehow at the time he was a little. older than me maybe by 10 15 years and I. think that he had a weird like he looked. like that and he had a job maybe he was. a lawyer or going to law school how you. meet him I met him at improv class I'm. out again yeah I'm out yeah so I was out. I was in I'm out. so I remember back in the day I met him. in Prof class and he remember we were.
together and he goes hey man I was I was. wondering I I think I was going to do. stand I'm going to do stand up and I go. okay and he goes you should and you know. we've talked about it before we should. do it together I I'm too scared right so. remember we went to a place called. Thomas Payne coffee shop and this is. there was an open mic and he said come. and support me because I'm going to go. up for the first time mhm and so I went. there and then. he the host went up and he go does all. right this next comic is Bobby.
Lee he put your name put my name in the. [ __ ] Randy right Randy and I remember. just going up and I I mean I wouldn't. say that was my first time doing. standard because I don't really say. anything you're just [ __ ] around I. just went up there I like I didn't. really sign up you know Randy did this. and I just got off but it got me on. stage go Randy thank you Randy and then. I started doing it a lot so we know who. to blame mhm right and then I never saw. him again yeah how old was this man and.
he was a lawyer he must have been like. 10 or 15 years older than me at the time. was an attorney yeah maybe and this was. like it's just for fun yeah I was like. 23 so he must have been 20 33 Maybe So. Randy if you're out there listening you. might have be in your 60s by now yeah. yeah it's just somebody that I just want. to say thank you to a beautiful really. nice yeah that's very pretty and there's. another guy I'm glad you kept in touch. with that. guy you know how it's just people just. disappear and also can I just say my no. you just kept going no but just also.
there was no such thing as cell phones. then right oh you could have sent a. carrier pigeon to him or something I. know I know but my point is it's easier. now but back then there was no cell. phone and you know you're right there's. people that I remember from the. beginning that I don't know that we used. to hang out with back in the day I have. no [ __ ] idea where they are we have. no clue so the second guy was when I. became a comic at the La Hoya Comedy. Store I moved in with the manager and. the assistant manager of The Comedy. Store po both pass Jesus it was name. Frank um it was um Ron.
um [ __ ] first name's okay and then uh. Fred. Burns and there was another guy living. there who was super like those two were. like kind of hostile I mean they they. gave me everything the manager and the. assistant manager but the comic that. lived there Frank monzano was a Mexican. guy you know just a weird performer he. was so kind to me and very like. supportive you know what I mean I just. you know I haven't seen him. I don't know where he is you know what I. mean anyway I mean those are do you have.
anybody in your life like that or no. that disappeared just yeah lots I've had. lots of people that have quit or moved. or you know I've spoken about friends on. this show that guys that I started with. who I thought were [ __ ] so good and. they quit for Jonathan godi M you I. remember him wait I know you said this. name yeah yeah and then also there's. another one um Dave Pierre but very. funny guy great name he was so funny I. don't know what happened I think he's. like teaching well I know there's a lot.
of guys that I kind of used to do bar. shows with and I know I've kind of run. into them in the in the aftermath or. like had a you know a friend of a friend. but they're a lot of them are out a lot. of them [ __ ] grew up they got. pregnant had kids got jobs and they were. like I can't play this [ __ ] [ __ ]. game well they move out they move out of. La well a lot of guys left the dream. yeah yeah it's a brutal business I get. it I don't even know if it's a dream. they just quit this [ __ ] Rat Race. they quit this [ __ ] game what is it. about us that we H and suffer we're sick. immature trauma addiction really you.
name yeah I mean I think that's what. there's something about my we're sick. it's not resilience I mean I guess you. there is that is a word that we could. use but it's like I just a normal person. wouldn't suffer that long but then. people with a little bit of intellect. understand that suffering usually can. yield something good if you really want. it so lack of talent in anything. else he's right no what you [ __ ] you.
[ __ ] son of you [ __ ] dirty little. [ __ ] it's so funny it's fun and I'm. grateful to meet you people like. you I'm it's fun it's grateful and I'm. in complete gratitude I had a I had a. Daydream today yeah this morning in the. shower can I share this and you may. think I'm stupid there used to be. downtown Los Angeles I believe in the. old Brewery building right maybe the old. paps building I can't see Brewery. Brewery I know it's tough for you guys.
yeah that's like library for black guys. there's something about we'll be right. back that's so good well it's not a. library what do he say liary every black. friend I have says library but listen. the paps brewery the old building. downtown used to be an artist living. quarters I think if I'm not mistaken. right and then what they did was they. had the rent was subsidized so that. artists could live there for a uh for a. nominal fee right yeah the Brewery Arts.
Complex has been called the largest live. and work artist colony in the world 16. acre compound right okay so dude hold on. let me look at bro bro what bro after. after you say this I'm going to tell you. I've been there to the brewery to the. artist complex yes you hooked up with. someone there no okay hold on we'll get. to yeah yeah what I was going to do I. had a thought I was driving on the. freeway and I saw the old Brewery Smoke. Stack and it made me think I. wish I wish you me a couple of other.
name comedians could buy a building or. buy a warehouse space and subsidize the. rent for young upand cominging comedians. to live so we do a nonprofit where we. wouldn't make a dime but we would just. make it would make enough money so it. could sustain to have security upkeep. and everything we would make no money. house. rules you'd need some house R I would be. the house rules guy you would not live. there no know but I would have to have. like on the wall things you cannot do no.
no it would be run properly like a. [ __ ] just house rules I don't care. what you're saying well what are the. house rules yeah what are they um no. [ __ ] other. Comics that's what I'm building this. whole thing for is for them to all [ __ ]. each other that's the whole point this. is likeor like this is like the Olympic. Village oh oh this is his Hitler Youth. yeah 100% I want to indoctrinate these. people move on I know what you're saying. no [ __ ] other right I mean I just. would want a safe space for everyone. that's all go ahead yeah of course. that's okay all I'm saying I'm done all.
I'm saying is do you think this is a. crazy idea it's a great idea dude I. really want to do it I want to buy a. building we're never going to do it why. not so expensive yeah not with that it's. not just you and I it's a bunch of other. Comics imagine if we got like Burr. Sebastian Dylan guys who have a couple. of bucks in their pocket who could buy a. building and subsidize it for young. comedians that'd be great how many. people now number one cuz you know I. have the resources to start a nonprofit. I know how to do all this stuff we can. do it dude let's [ __ ] do it then. you'll do it I will do it I swear to God. I want to do it but this is a big one.
for me house rule no it's even more it's. even bigger what okay I think you'd have. to Showcase to get in there oh you can't. be [ __ ] you can't be [ __ ] to get a room. interesting that's interesting we can't. have crap so we have a little stage and. you have to showcase for the current. residents to see if you get a room now. do you have to keep showcasing as you. live no they showcase for us so just you. and I sitting in a chair no we'll get a. bunch of comics okay once a year you. know what I mean it's like getting.
passed yeah you get passed to live there. you get passed to live but then every. year you have to re audition because we. got to know that you're writing and. working and you're not slipping you yeah. yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah. yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah so tell tell me. about the brewery now that we know that. that's a thing I'm proposing what are. you calling this thing when you open it. um funny bone okay name it after another. Comedy Club Workshop it more we got it I. think it should be called I Haven you. know what I. mean we'll call it the comedy mother. ship I like that.
it's we'll call it uh the compound the. the comedy compound comedy compound how. about. uh Chuckles. Chambers chuckle Chambers chuckle. Chambers you want to go live chck CH how. many how many people can live there I. think it's got to have like 10. Apartments 10 10 at a time we can't. afford that big of a building with you. and me and a bunch of other Comics we. can try our best well then they would. the be the the future has to live there. I know you said they have to Showcase.
yeah I mean we there's no I mean I'm. telling you in the shower this morning I. thought this is a great idea it's a way. we don't earn a dime on this we'll. probably lose a little bit of money but. it'd be great also you can't I know. what's going to happen other open micers. can I stay there overnight on the couch. or whatever no crashing no it's timeout. we crashed we crashed it's a part of the. culture how long can you crash one week. only one week crash and you're not. allowed to crash for a week then go to. another apartment you get one week of. crash in the comedy in and what did I. call it a year or how long what was it.
called uh the the chu chuckle uh. compound no Chuck compound the chuckle. what he just trying to tighten it up and. what did I call it the. chuckle I don't even. know seconds. ago okay no you get one week of crashing. because crashing is a part of our. culture okay we crashed I crashed you. crashed a lot about it all right you get. one week of crashing inside there like a. guy that lives there who that like the. manager like the guy that you know Guam.
in dude Guam is going to get security. he'll [ __ ] up he'll beat the [ __ ] out of. people if they don't force the rules he. will he lives there for free imagine if. that everyone does right huh yeah. everyone lives for free no you have to. pay it's subsidized you're paying a. certain amount of money to keep because. it keep the thing going yeah cost at. level so like listen instead of paying. what is an apartment now [ __ ]. thousands of dollars ridiculous minimum. yeah you pay like 800 bucks 600 bucks. 800 bucks but that just goes for your. your water and power and general living. so we can free.
Wi-Fi uh free Wi-Fi free Wi-Fi if you. have 15 minutes if you have under 15 you. got to pay I'd love to get behind it a. comedy com compound Five Guys five. girls Five Guys five girls or maybe one. trans one gay smart see now we're. getting into Equity diversity and. inclusion and that's good can't avoid it. well then nobody needs to be the same. you're right I we need a black guy and. an Asian you know what I mean we can't. do that I'd rather I'd rather have two. black guys and one Asian for sure. it's just for trading oh really well for. trading you want you don't want things.
to efficiently [ __ ] whoa I'm talking. about comedy wise there's almost none of. you that are good there's so many black. Comics that are good how many funny. Asians are there six Jason chenny Leslie. Lao Andrea Jen I mean I the list goes on. that's six you just named the six that's. it there's so many dude are you are you. how many funny black Comics are there a. thousand they've been doing it longer. that has nothing to do with it they have. yeah what are you talking about dude. look okay you know who Flip Wilson is of. course we know who flip wils but my. point being is is that comedy has been.
in terms of the black community a part. of it since we started in the the new. modern version of standup in the 6s yeah. because they're funnier than Asians no. it it wasn't D because we're IM are you. trying to say that Asians are funnier. than black Comics what I'm saying is. that whoa that's a tough CL I didn't. [ __ ] say that you just said Bobby Lee. you heard it here said Asians are. funnier than blacks say that's what he. said I didn't say that what I'm just. saying is is that you know I mean since. we've like since Margaret I think Chris.
Rock Wanda Sykes Dave Chappelle Cedric. Kevin Hart whoopy Goldberg Richard PR. Bernie ma Eddie Murphy Monique red fox. Martin Lawrence Chris tuer Tiffy hat cat. WBS de hulie Jame Fox Tracy Morgan don't. look up Asian Com I'm afraid that I'm. not going to be on the. list you gotta be on that L. yeah here we. go tough they're. six oh my God they're six I'm not even. on it oh that says China in China Jim o.
is the first China That's China it just. I looked up Asian Comedia though that's. just what. it put comedi I know what else to look. up as Asian American. comedians there's six there's five. there's five you got to put a plural put. the S on the End by the way they threw. in Cal pen too Korean 50. com oh [ __ ] the point is hey Google's. proving my point leave it alone Google's. proving my point an endless list of. great black Comics end asan I think.
you're Asian Excellence that's so funny. you are Asian excellent you're excellent. just saying let's let's move on from. let's move on let's move on from it. truly though yeah yeah tell me the story. about the brewery how did you end up. there in the. 90s there was a [ __ ] cattle call for. a sitcom do you remember what was called. No cleal but I remember going there and. waiting in line for about seven hours. just chilling outside it was like one.
line gross right sounds like last com. and I remember going in there and being. thrown like on a chair saying one thing. I forgot what it was and they're I go go. go and I remember walking out of that. building going oh I'm never going to. make it you thought that was how it all. that's how it all worked like this just. [ __ ] one in a million you know I mean. waiting in line for that long it's like. the Laugh Factory line the mic line yeah. it's around the Cor will wait there from. 10:00 a.m. I think it's open at noon or.
whatever or noon until the show oh yeah. and they might not get on most don't. yeah they're just getting their name. into the [ __ ] bucket I mean how. [ __ ] crazy is that that's awesome did. you ever do that of course I did what do. you mean I waited in every line I waited. the fact I waited a Laugh Factory I. waited at the store you did The Improv. didn't have a line they didn't have that. thing they didn't have that thing I. waited at the factory multiple times. yeah and when you're waiting in kind of. a line that like that long and you're. like and you don't even get on you're. like oh this is almost impossible me and. my buddy Kenner Shaw drove to [ __ ].
San Francisco for Last Comic Standing to. sleep outside of cobs on the street to. God do you know how far this is I sold. out six shows like three months in. advance at cobs and that's how far I've. come and thank you that means a lot that. actually feels a lot in my heart I slept. on that street outside of Cobbs on. [ __ ] wow for and I'm not kidding we. drove to San Francisco I slept outside. on the concrete in a [ __ ] sleeping. bag only to almost not get to audition. go inside tell a half a joke and they. were like no thank you o o had to get. right back in our car and drive down.
back from San Francisco I remember I. remember that I slept outside of the. Improv for Last Comic Last Comic. Standing too I slept outside of Fred. seagull on Melrose no yeah slept on. Melrose oh my God and I remember there. was a young girl there was a comic out. there you know who she is I think Tracy. McDonald you know who that is I know her. yeah Tracy was in line with us and Tracy. I'll never forget there was a moment. where Tracy say Canadian comic yeah. Tracy. said what if this was so creepy it had. have been three or four in the morning. she was in the like the camp next to. what a nice girl yeah she was great yeah.
Tracy. said. Hey what if one day this is a four in. the morning thought what if one day. we're not funny anymore o and I was like. what do you mean and she's like what if. we just stop being funny or thinking of. funny stuff I was like that's impossible. what do you mean like it's in your soul. you you you like humor she's like no no. no cuz sometimes I feel like I might. lose it and it'll never come back and I. was like shut up I went to lay down and. my brain was like what. if what if we can never write a funny.
joke ever again what if I never think of. anything funny again what if I never say. anything what if I don't know what funny. is anymore it spun me out for like six. hours yeah so thank you Tracy McDonald. that that thank you no but she was she. but she was right though she had this. Moment of clarity of like man what are. we doing we're sleeping on [ __ ]. Melrose yeah is this worth it do we want. to do this hello fresh with hellofresh. you get farm fresh pre-portioned. ingredients and seasonal recipe is. delivered right to your doorstep skip. those trips to the grocery store and.
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to grocery shopping so save yourself. save the planet and get hell fresh go to. hellofresh.com badri apps for free. appetizers for Life One appetizer item. per box while subscription is active. that's free appetizers forif at. hellofresh.com bfri apps hellofresh. America's number one meal kit it was it. was worth it it was fun I tried here's I. think the difference right is is that I. I honestly I I think that um a lot of. people could make it you know what I. mean I I you know I don't care what.
where you come from you know you don't. even have to be like naturally funny I. just think that people can make it but. um we we can hit the ball when necessary. when the time when the time is right I. just remember different moments in my. life it's like I remember thinking to. myself I have to hit this ball yeah you. don't have a choice I don't because. someone so's in the audience and I have. to [ __ ] hit a home run here and you. do and yeah I was so I'm going to tell. you I can't say his name but I remember. there was a there was a TV show that was.
that did standup and I had already done. it a couple times so they the third year. they were like can you do it again and I. go you know what I'll do it if you. brought my friend on it you got to tell. me the TV show like a k Craig kilborne. or something no I can't I can't tell you. because I don't want my friend my friend. will cry if I say the story okay I need. to he's already crying we blank it out. it was called funny kloo oh kloo yeah it. was called kloo yeah I remember kloo you. know on telmundo whatever yeah but um. and they go well who's your friend I I.
don't care you know I mean you're you're. not going to watch him he's just going. to do it you're like you're giving me a. spot and he has my one of my best. friends is gets a spot that's really. nice right and he used to do well on. stage regular at the store okay so I. remember we're at the taping. now it's so [ __ ] crazy and I'm stand. I'm sitting next to Joey Diaz hey kakaka. right and so my friend's going up right. and so uh and he's super nervous which. is understandable sure it's TV right so.
I'm in the green room watching the. monitor I'm like oh yeah there finally. right they bring him up and he comes up. and he and he. goes nothing comes out no yeah and then. he does this this is where I was like. uhoh he he looks on the ground he goes. and he starts mumbling no yeah yeah yeah. no buddy he literally starts mumbling to. oh [ __ ] this is TV there's cameras on. right. and then I remember um he's like maybe a.
minute or two in he starts getting the. nerve to tell a joke but at this point. he lost the room it's gone it's gone he. starts really bombing right and I. remember I had I had already gone up oh. you already did great yeah I killed. you're good right I killed right I left. him. there you piece of [ __ ] okay not only. did I leave him there I dude I was so. embarrassed would you get in the car and. just go home yeah I go [ __ ] this guy no. you [ __ ] I got on the so here's the.
two thing no wonder why people from your. past have just disappeared I was say. this one of these guys you never spoke. to when you go to bat for somebody when. you go to bat for somebody he had he had. an off day right his first TV but I'm. gonna give him a compliment but this is. okay so I leave so then Joey Diaz drove. him home but here's the sad part Joey. Diaz on like 500,000 milligrams like. I'll drive you [ __ ] yeah F this. [ __ ] car so you do five you know they. take five or six shows in one night.
right so at the end of each show the the. booker gives you a money a check MH he. waited at the end he never got a check. so not only did not get do well he. didn't get he got edited on the show. obviously oh my God got driven home. right well give him the money at that's. triple Crow right right but here's. here's the here's how he. wins I when we got I I I you know I. still was friends with him Bitcoin he. bought a bunch of Bitcoin in 92 a year.
later I was watching comedy central just. randomly and he had done premium blend. what that was huge right huge and he. destroyed awes oh so he's fine he. destroyed is he still working today yeah. he destroyed but I just remember like. him you know some people can't hit the. ball the first time is my point of but. he got Redemption which is good CU he. did he was he he always had it he had. the looks he always he had the skill. it's just you know when you and you know. the very first TV spot you do as a.
standup is petrifying that's the. scariest thing in the world it's. probably one of the scariest things in. the world like I did I remember when I. did Leno I was I'd never been more. scared but I just remember walking out. and looking at the thing and going you. have to kill you have to kill you have. to kill cuz Jay's right. there yeah you got a little Chinese guy. that's me on Len is that your first time. yeah wow I remember how nervous I was to. do Conan it was probably nervous I've. ever been man you were I was just.
because I loved Conan so much and it was. a big deal for me when. they you know and you know what's so. funny is I submitted a year before and. uh the booker who obviously not there is. gone now who's become a friend was like. I don't like the spot I don't like the. set and I was like [ __ ] and then called. and was like I saw you do a spot do that. five I I was like oh re really like yeah. do that fine [ __ ] do that don't the.
other one don't submit do this just take. out the two cuss parts that have swe. yeah that was it but then when I got. there we were I was [ __ ] so nervous. it's a good set it's just hard such a. hard it's such a hard thing never forget. that people just get so we dying. laughing on the way to that people get. so [ __ ] judgy about it but you're. like it's you feel so it's the stress of. that is so weird because it's live like. I can see it kind of in your eyes I know. you yeah something in your eyes I was. nervous yeah yeah so nervous you're fine. you can see all the stuff but there's a.
focus in your eyes right that I can tell. and my [ __ ] that sweater was awful. it's like what a terrible [ __ ] choice. you know by the way when I I remember. buying that sweater scrounging the money. together to buy that sweater and it was. out of my price range it was probably. like $125 sweater yeah you know what I. mean like I remember it was like a $100. sweater and I was like this is insane. that I'm buying this [ __ ] sweater and. God I thought when I put it on you look. great and less than a month later I was. like you look [ __ ] ridiculous that is. a stupid [ __ ] it's so no matter what.
you wear on TV what was I wearing on my. tonight's show you look like a [ __ ]. idiot you always look dumb on these. tapings yeah you think they look good. that actually looks kind of nice black. is safe black and green pants it's. classic how old were you there Bobby I. was 2002 oh 2002 22 years ago today. April 26 2002 wow just passed 22 years. ago wow he was 30 you were years old. yeah what what people don't realize you. were 30 right that's a 30-year-old man.
that looks like a 16-year-old boy yeah. that's good that's a good thing look. like a high school move over ra matio. yeah well there's a new 62y old. in I mean it's good it's good you age. like a musroom but back then what people. don't realize too is they're so word for. word like they they come out so many. times to see you and they give you so. many notes oh my God right so everything. is like you have to say it did you have. q cards yeah so they offer they offer. you if you may slip up they may have q. cards and I said no I don't want them.
because that will [ __ ] me up worse I'll. look at a word and be like and he got. it I know exactly what I would do I. would see a word and go [ __ ] that's. it that would kill me that would [ __ ]. Ru I was like please no Q cards same. thing with specials Comedy Central half. hour most people used bullet points I. was like please God don't do that you. hav memorized but some people get. nervous like your boy who just gets down. oh my God I just even luk thinking about. that his face this is great that was fun.
that half hour was fun I told the story. about this S I cried the moment I got. off stage I asked my you cried I asked I. asked my you were there no I just. remember the moment I asked my well he's. in it though I talk about him in the. special my childhood best friend Sean. Castello was there and he was backstage. and he was in The Green Room with a few. people and I walked into the green room. after I got off stage and I said hey man. can you give me two seconds and he was. like yeah and he everyone's.
like so excited can you give me like two. minutes and he was like yeah I was like. I'm just overwhelmed then he the moment. he left the Green Room I was like yeah I. was [ __ ] balling just cuz it was all. this energy and nerves and anxiety and. it was Comedy Central it was a half hour. it was like so important and I was like. I ate [ __ ] it was bad I was balling you. think it was good Oh I thought I tanked. I just I was spinning Oh I thought you. were like I'm I killed it I thought oh. [ __ ] no I was spinning I was so sad I. chugged a bottle of [ __ ] whiskey I. just sat in a chair just balling I'm.
like they're never going to air it they. won't even air it that's I kept saying. yeah no but it was a good it turned out. great I liked it a lot I because the. pressure was so but it's also not it's. not club laughs no it's different out. there it's a different set of laughs so. you think you're bombing oh yeah because. you're not at the Ice House main room. correct and also people don't know these. are tapings I had zero um Fame. acknowledgement whatever this was like. me Norman Soder we were all like kind of. the same within the year of each other's.
tapings nobody knew who the [ __ ] we were. these are paid audience. members these people have sat through. six other comedians yeah you're the. [ __ ] fifth on the list of the night. of three hours of standup they're tired. dude imagine they don't want to look at. your dumbass imagine being a road comic. Andrew right and you have no name you're. just doing the road so you're one of. those acts right that people go hey. honey what do you want to do tonight. well let's just go to the club see who's. there we were those guys I was the GU I.
know but how much easier is it now that. we have fans no it's not that God bless. the [ __ ] fans it's just that it takes. that component out of it of like I'm. going to kill myself in this. mu yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah if I'm going. to bash my head to comp the Pepsi. machine outside my window. going that some guy gets a soda at 4 in. the [ __ ] morning I remember that. outside of my bedroom window the hum of. a vending machine. and then a guy.
just 2:30 in the [ __ ] morning hey you. hear that in the [ __ ] hotel dude. motels the amount of motels I've stayed. in okay like the scene in big when he's. clutching the pillow and there's bullets. outside raining through New York yeah so. I I had to do a Col you know I did I got. bed bugs One Time by the way from a. motel go ahead I'll tell you the story I. did those College you know those College. gigs you know what I mean and so back in. the day when you know you're a nobody. right they go well you know you're going. to go to. God but then you have a day off here and. then you have to take a bus like you're.
Greyhound got to catch a Greyhound to. this place right three bucks but in. between we know this old family in this. town who like they like to bring in. comics you can stay at their house stay. at their house right I it's nightmare. 80-year-old white people right and. they're like lights out at lights out at. 10 sir no way right there's no internet. then it's get out this was the original. get out and cold as [ __ ] right and I. have like a blanket like one of those. woolly like they smells like. mothballs right and the pillow is like.
made out of hay it's a hay pillow it's a. hay pillow dude right and it's and the. slam the matx is that thing that when. will William Wallace dies in the end of. Braveheart that concrete yeah it's a. slab it's a slab they chopped his nuts. off right yeah yeah the bed that Lincoln. died in was more comfortable than so I. remember just laying there cold it's. 10:30 I'm not going to be able sleep you. what. full of their and at 6: in the morning. you get a knock I like coffee is ready.
come on down for breakfast it's a. nightmare that's when you start spinning. the the Chamber of the gun yeah and you. I did that for years hated it so God. bless the fans thank you so much my God. thank you so much more than anything but. then also it's like don't don't go don't. go why is that guy get this right yeah. right oh cuz I've been to Helen B yeah. dog and again and again and again again. and again and you know you still have to. deal with little rats like this guy. little [ __ ] rat brats I you know you.
think rat you think you can get away. from rats well you let them in but the. rats are always there they find way. theat the friends you make a long way I. I just want a little reprieve from. hostility all right let's chat about. some PO let go up this is a history. lesson look at this in 1942 Chinese okay. here's why I'm pitching this to you I. read this article and you want to do a. movie and you want to star in a film you. and I are going to make a movie together. that Nikki and I wrote yep but I said. Bobby needs his own solo project his own. vehicle in 1942 Chinese sailor pun Lim.
what a name was aboard the SS uh Ben. lemand when it was torpedoed by a German. u72 causing the vessel to sink limb. found himself they should just say pun. pun found himself alone on a life rra. without any means of of propulsion. drifting aimlessly at se he sustained. him he sustained himself by fishing. drinking bird blood and even managed to. kill a shark using only a jug of. water look at the last line miraculously. pun Sur survive for 133 days at Sea. before being rescued look at pun's.
little boat that he made dude look at. that boat wow life of punon the life of. punon dude that what an intricate boat. now what does this say about punon in. general Asians are survivors what does. it say about punon in general punon is. the best yeah that's what it means. you're not getting better than punon are. you punon is what drives this world dude. punon P punon yeah top [ __ ] I get what. you're saying I love punon the top is. there anything better than punon punon. for pre punon for.
pre this guy's the [ __ ] man he killed. a shark with a jug of water how did he. do that I want you to play this movie. and Nikki's gonna write punon the story. of P all over the OIC and you know what. the movie's called oh wait stop stop. what did you just say you got to stop. what did he just say I might walk off. did he say I'll order the OIC if if we. want him to play Jim Christmas he the. bets that's great that is funny [ __ ]. it's not a fat it's a tighton Who this. is a typoon this is a typon he's not not. on fire.
not hey you got a. typoon and the movie is called let's get. some punon that's so good let's get. punon let get drowning in Poon well what. is it you know like Get Shorty get punon. drowning in punon is so good drowning. with poon uh no cuz he doesn't drown he. survives I like it's not good mcon get. the let's let's get punon I won't do an. Asian accent please you have to you have. to he's Chinese it's 1942 what do you. think I'm going to write it in an Asian. accent I can't I I can't give me a line.
then you know that on final draft you. can actually write with an accent now. yeah open on I'll tell you open open on. interior. ex yeah yeah yeah Universe give me some. lines um well he's talking to nobody but. himself this has to be like a Tom Hanks. uh Castaway it's all you it's an. internal dialogue I smell Oscar for this. is great on the boat you talk like um a. Chinese guy but out out sea you sound.
like Bobby Lee that's great cuz you've. been putting it on the whole time for. these [ __ ] people on the boat how. about this I'm are going to the America. but then out there you're like how do I. get [ __ ] water thank God I'm fin. internal my internal thoughts are in my. voice yeah God damn [ __ ] what. are you do right but oh my God so hungry. that's what I just. said but I just pissed you all right so. 133 days the shark how do you kill the. shark with well so I'm I'm in the boat. okay yeah oh well let's [ __ ] it I'll.
just do the accent. yeah just do the accent do alive not I'm. so hungry yeah and I no water even. though the water all around me MH but. it's salt B for. right right right this is good punon. right but I have a joke what do I do. with this jam it in my but hole no for. seual pleasure no no there's an opening. here no PO no no or I could kill a shark.
okay how the [ __ ] this guy kill a shark. with a jug of a jug oh it's easy what. you do is this you Nick yourself this is. what I would do Nick myself a little. bleed bleed into the water right as soon. as that head comes out BK with a jug of. water you're going to kill a shark how. the [ __ ] did he do it then I don't know. punon is magical we know that yeah how. big of a shark was it maybe it's a. little like baby type not how do you get. bird blood. well I bet I guarantee you birds birds. would Birds who are flying over the.
ocean often times settle on boats in. motion they would probably settle on. this little raft and he would cover them. up and grab them and break them and eat. them yeah but the is is that a good. substitute for water bird blood I mean. it sounds like pun did it yeah he. sustained himself by drinking bir blood. you would think maybe what bloody poon. bloody poon that's the name of the film. but this is what's strange 133 days. without water I thought you can only go. a certain amount of days without water. three but he must be getting enough. water from the bird blood yeah the bird.
blood I think is the is the key or he. had just a little bit of a jug of water. and took a sip every like [ __ ] day. can you drink blood instead of water or. something can you drink blood we know. the answer to that oh yeah we're in. Hollywood yeah I'm not talking about. baby blood blood and a necessity for. human life is ironically poisonous drink. ironically no it seems Seems right on. the money why is it say ironically do. bird blood oh what does that say so. medical experts warn you get very sick. from drinking it every day and fite a. number of infections bird is bird the. one reason blood is dangerous yeah bird. blood though bird blood I want to know.
about bird blood yeah if you're starving. you're dehydrated holy [ __ ] no what does. it say people people have drunk Turtle. blood in order to survive or the blood. of a snake there's RIS of pathogen. animal blood is not going to prolong. your life extremely high in iron it. poison you at some point well punon. lasted 133 days wow amazing but how did. he know that no I don't think I think. this was just him guessing he was trial. and eron all right right 100% pun Lim. there he is zoom in does it say anything. else he holds the Guinness Book of World. Records for longest time a drift at Sea.
alone that's incredible he used a water. Dr as a club to subdo the thrashing. shark he hit it hard he was a. 25-year-old Seaman from the south coast. of a seam a p pun and Seaman perfect. South Coast to China when he hopped on a. British merchant ship Cape Town South. Africa they left and a German uboat sunk. that [ __ ] wow you know how crazy. is is the only guy that lived and he. died in Brooklyn go down zoom in punon. passed away yeah we did lose in we all L. we lost pun at some point pun passed. away in Brooklyn in ' 91 at the age of.
72 wow wow that's a young that's pretty. young for a guy that [ __ ] lived out. at sea for 133 years I bet you he. partied like an animal when he got home. is that him yeah there's punon right. there that's perfect that's you he kind. of looks like me that's what I'm saying. amazing that's punon my dog that's you. your punon yeah by the way the fact that. he could fashion a boat hold on yeah. that's you pun limb P limb P Lim d wow. lives so will you let us write this. story I'd love to do it because I think.
you could play I mean like think of how. much comedy you could put in this and. contained comedy mhm can be there be. another boat we we have to insert. something else cuz even Castaway. packages were getting Mar Robbie's on. the other bat no I'm just pitching stuff. we could yeah we could let's just think. about it let me think she's German whoy. Goldberg thrown outy Goldberg is in the. other boat whoopy Goldberg is German can. we compromise no it's got to be. who not on well there's p po compromise. yeah look at him yeah punon punon that. well punon does not compromise yeah but.
how can Matt okay what who saved him a. boat finally came along I'm sure you. know after a boat is is attacked in N he. was nearing land as the color of the sea. was no it depends on who though it's. like if it's Germany on April 5th like. [ __ ] April 5th three Brazilian fishermen. found him nine miles off I love. Brazilian they're so nice they're the. nice they're so nice they're so nice. Brazilians oh he loses weight during the. it could be like a transformation thing. like at the beginning like you do now.
and then by the end it could like help. like visually show the audience your. transformation from a directorial. standpoint it does make sense he lost 20. pounds it's not that much he's gonna. need to lose a little that's what Tom. Hanks did right he waited a year or. something he shot one part for Cast Away. you're talking about. Philadelphia different movie yeah same. themes same yeah same Po and AIDS just. don't mix no they don't yeah they don't. we don't want to insert that in this. movie yeah enough your jokes man killing. it I'm literally tired of them I was.
that's the last one you're a little slly. I don't like it so it took him two weeks. in a Brazilian hospital so maybe we. rescue you halfway through the film. maybe the nurses have bubble butts well. they're in Brazil okay good yeah I love. that okay good by the way seene maybe. maybe the movie is this at a ceremony at. the Seaman Church Institute of New York. in New Jersey his citation say that pun. Lim displayed exceptional courage and. nursed him back to heal with. tang. yes yes with tang yeah that's the only.
way to get poned back in it with a bunch. of how long were you thinking about that. job was it two minutes I wrote it before. I came. here I sent him this article already oh. yeah really good I said step up dude it. really good and honestly yeah what no. one had ever survived that long at se. not even close and no one will ever. break the record obviously but think. about that oh the writer stated in limbs. deal was using the novel my star's. destination yeah but that's still we. still could intellectual property what's.
three Mexican Sailors floated for 10. months from 05 to 06 the Pacific Ocean. on a disabled fishing boat Mexicans are. the most resilient people on Earth. amazing you know what happened with. Spanish people you guys would have sunk. you would have [ __ ] each other and. sunk you would have Conquistador each. other yeah you have conistor each other. we just gave them some mirrors and they. gave us the country oh my God this guy's. uning so arrogant I hate it a fisherman. from was apparently lost for 4 39 days. floating from Mexico to the Marshall. Islands the on a raft that's the. craziest [ __ ] when they just get on a.
raft and hope it goes the right way. that's crazy yeah like can you imagine I. can't Jose. Salvador alvara a fisherman who found. right this is the guy that went to the. Marshall Islands he survived on a diet. of raw fish Turtle small bird sharks and. rainwater this makes sense yeah that I. get or people at the constellation like. back in the natives back in there would. you know that look at the sky to see. where they are and I mean we we still do. that kind of today we do well don't we. use I don't think you weuse we use star.
mapping we still do star mapping yeah. but you don't it's personally how do you. think I get around oh really you think I. use Google [ __ ] Maps I don't trust. that [ __ ] Tokyo and you look up or you. looking around I'm looking up the whole. time uh oh the cop's like were you on. your phone I was like look at us. scaring staring up the whole [ __ ]. time that's why they have moon. roofs oh I see that's. funny well left. La thank you for being a bad friend. thank you so good.
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