Korean Joker v Dave Blunts | Ep 262 | Bad Friends

Hello. Hello there, mate. I'm B on Post. and we're going to London, England July. 18th and then July 19th we'll be in. Dublin, Ireland. Tickets are available. right now. We never go to these places. Never go to these places. Once the. show's done, you we'll come back. We. know come back. Yeah. Yeah. So, you got. to go. You got to go. So, go to. badfriend.com for those tickets. Badfriendpod.com. You two are bad friends. Who are these. two idiots? A white dude and an Asian. dude. You two are disgusting.

You two are something. We're bad. friends. Let me tell you something. You. texted me today and you said, "Are you. mad at me?" Never. Yeah, you do. You get. angry. And you know what? I've never. been mad at you. Do you? You have. Dollywood. Do you cancel sessions that. are important to us? Yeah. Yeah. I know. That's what I'm talking about. It's an. inner lingering slowburn of anger. Hi, Rudy Jewels. Look what we got for you. A. normal chair. Rudy. Rudy. Rudy. Rudy.

Yeah. I haven't seen you since last. year. Do you miss me? I missed you. But. you're going over to Tiger Belly. You're. doing that all the time and you're. really breaking my heart a little bit. No, because I No, no, no, no. We. embraced you. Not just Tiger Belly. Oh, yeah. She's on Trash Tuesday, baby. Where the money is. So, here's the. problem. I mean, and the followings and. the glamour and the glitz. We gave you. your start. Nothing. She dropped us, dude. Well, you know what we are? We're.

We are the the guy that. that before she got famous. Exactly. And. she drops us. No, she got famous. You. know that the first guy that you dated? I'll even do one you better, dude. Yeah, give it. Right. We're the hot guy, right, that she dated. I disagree with. the first part. But just hear my point. We're the medium guy. We're the medium. guy. But then she got blew up and went. uglier. Oh, yeah. That's what I meant. That's what I meant. Interesting. Yeah. Yeah. Like I'm gonna go just I'm gonna. go down. I'm gonna go downtown. What's. been going on, Jules? I've just been.

dissecting animals. God bless. With um. rats and earthworms and um the crickets. How are you dissecting earthworms? They're so small. You're using the. tiniest little knife. Yeah. And it's. really fun, especially with the rats. You love dissecting rats. She went to. ugly and also just ghosted the hot guy. Well, as soon as as soon as here's what. really happened, but tell me the science. behind it. As soon as she left this show. and you and Kyla broke up and she.

started to get away from our show. Yeah. That's when she was like, I don't need. to talk to Tito Andrea ever again. And. she That seems to be the truth. The. truth. That seems to be the reality. That's okay. Did I Did I show you. nothing but love for four years? Pure. love. You It's the kind of love. It's. the kind of love Mother Teresa gave. Same. To the pores. Exact same. Yeah. Yeah. It's that kind of unhinged. No, unhinged. That's undying. Undying love. That's what I meant. Anyway, ladies and. gentlemen, Rudy Julian is back. Rudy. Giuliani is back in the studio. Are you.

happy to be back? I'm happy. Who of the. people here are you happiest to see? Let's go in order. Happiest to least. happy to see. Go ahead. First is you. Thank you. Andres. Yes. Carlos. Awesome. Mone. Love that. And. Bobby's sep You're separate. It doesn't. count cuz she sees you all the time. We. see she sees you all the time. I'm not. even on the list. What. you're I cannot believe it. Let me ask. you, lady. I see her every day. There. was a fire long ago, right? Yeah. Right.

Was there not a fire long ago? The great. Chicago people. No, the great LA fires. Oh, the lovely people are running. You. know what I mean? Yeah. Running. Right. Right. I get a call. Can you. harbor and take care of little jewels? Yeah. And the dogs. And I said. kindly, "My heart is out to you." My. heart goes out. And you know what. happens to that heart? They pee on it. They piss on your heart. Yeah. You piss. You squat on his chest.

In the yellowst you've ever seen. Wow. Yeah. Jimmy Yang yellow. Wow. Yeah. That's the most yellow you can get. Right. Very bright. That is a bright. star. Yeah. Well, I'll say this. I'm. glad that you're back. I love that you. put McCon last. He is the least. important of the crew. Although he did have a fun time at my. special and then he went and jumped in. the uh what did you do? You jumped in. the lake. Yeah. A polar plunge. He did a. polar plunge and all they all the. proceeds went to So all the proceeds. went it was for Special Olympics. So. they Here's what they do. All the money.

they collected they rounded up all of. these strong people to throw handicapped. people into the lake. Handicap people? Yeah. People with Down syndrome. They. threw them in the lake. That guy doesn't. have Down syndrome. He does. Well, he. does after he gots out of that lake. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I mean, shape down syndrome, but I don't. think you have to down syndrome. Shape. Yeah. Yeah. The shape. Yeah. So, what? The money I donated to you went to. where? I hope it didn't go to you. And. how much did I donate? None. Exactly. I. don't believe in it. You didn't give him. any money. I don't believe in the. [ __ ] cause. It's for Special.

Olympics. Go ahead. It is. It was all for Special Olympics. I said that in the text. That's why I. gave you I thought he was doing a joke. like you were in the special I didn't. read it. Well, I know you didn't read. it. I just heard I just read Special. Olympics. He's trying to make fun of me. like you're in the special. He's. attacking me. So, I didn't read the. whole thing. Yeah, don't put that in. there next time. But you don't get. anything. But um Whoa. I am happy that. that money went to there. So, you jumped. in the river. I told you not to jump in. the lake. I could have just given you.

the money. No, it's fine. Was it cold? It was 12 degrees outside. How cold was. the water? Water was 33 degrees. Love. it. And how long did you stay in for? No. chance you lasted. No, I was under and. we out immediately. You went head. underneath. That's smart. That's good. They It's deep enough to where you kind. of have to. Have you ever done a polar. plunge? Have you ever jumped in a. freezing cold lake or body of water? No. Did you go naked? No. I was just wearing. short shorts. All the Special Olympics. kids were naked for sure. There's no. doubt. They can't keep their clothes on. I mean, I'm tired. I haven't slept. But.

let me say something. You're tired? It's. 700. p.m. We did this. We moved this shoot. till nighttime. You got back from San. Francisco at 9:00 a.m. What did you do. today? Okay, so all weekend I did not. sleep at all. You were doing shows. I. know. Did not sleep. How I just could It. was so cold and the heat was too heat. I. don't like that when the heat's too. heat. You know what I mean? What is your. perfect optimal room temperature in a. hotel? Probably a 70. You know, you can. set that right on the thing. I know. But. what happens is it's so cold through the.

window. No. Oh, it combines and it. there's a horrific Oh, it's like when. the Atlantic and the Pacific top meet. It's like, no, I'm more like an angel. and the demon. Oh, and they're dancing. in the air. I mean, and I don't really. like that. Dancing in the air. Air, you. know. Did Now, did you have did you have. a hotel with a bathtub? Cuz I have It's. a combo combo. You do you see at the. hotel Zoey? The Zo. The Zo. Yeah. Is. that not Zoe? I don't know actually. Yeah. Yeah. I did that last time. I. didn't this time, but it's a combo tub. shower. It's I don't like it. But you.

know what I do like? And it's polite. Okay. Sometimes it's a combo shower. bath, but if you want to take a [ __ ]. shower, you have to actually go in the. tub and do the shower and then you get. wet. But you know what? This clever. [ __ ] has a little window. Oh, yeah. Put your arm through. You are put your. arm through and you open it. I remember. that. You remember that? Yeah, that's. right. And it's a clever little Zoza. Smart. I like it. I don't like the. shower tubs cuz I feel like I'm going to. slip and that is exactly how I die. I'm. already prone to slipping in bathrooms. and hitting my head on. Well, we've. heard the story. I know. I don't need to.

do it in. And they have earthquakes up. there. Imagine I imagine imagine it. happened to me twice. But but I hadn't. been in back to Cobbs. That was the time. that was the last time I was there when. is when Ken Jung attacked me in the. green room. How long ago is this? Like. 15 years ago. So I pointed to all my. openers. This is where it happened. Wow. And I positioned the chairs. He turned. around like this. How nice is Cops? I. honestly And then I did after that I did. a MySpace corporate show. Wow. With Al. Magal. Wow. Ian Edwards, Natasha Logger.

It's It's Ask everyone that works there. When I got off stage, I started to cry. I bombed so bad. And then I went into. the kitchen. Well, MySpace isn't even. around anymore, is it? That's how long. ago it was. And I got on my hands and. knees and I bowed to the gods. I'll. never play her again. I've always had. bad luck there. At Cobbs or in Yeah. So, I haven't been there for like 15 years. God, MySpace is still active. It's still. active. Yeah. I wonder what my page. looks like. Go to Bobby Lee on MySpace. Let's see what that looks like. I don't. think I There's no way. They got a They.

got rid of it. They got rid of it. It's. gone. Your hinge profile picture. Johing profile picture. You never had my. space, did you? I had my aunt made it. for me, but I just didn't know what to. do. They didn't have internet back then, so they had to physically make. it. They physically make a space for. this is my aunt. It's my space. Yeah. Yeah. And she sits in a little [ __ ]. hole. They just go around all day around. Subu going, "That's my space. That's my. space. That's my space." Yeah. And then. do do you draw your friends, right? Your.

top 10. You draw the faces on the walls. On the wall. Yeah. Walls with fire. It's. really good. Yeah. With fire. Yeah. So, it's cool. Tell me what's been going on. in your life, Jules. I am interested to. know. Well, by the way, look at this. Look at this. Look. Hold on. Look at my. finger. What's going on with you? It's. been doing this. Look at him. Oh my god. He has that disease. Parkinson's. Give. me back that polar plunge money. What's. been going on? I'm graduating this May. So, if you guys want to come. No, we. don't want to come to your graduation. We I'm going. Of course we want to go. What are we talking? Of course we want.

We'll do. We wear a suit. What do we. happen? You know what? We'll You know. what? We'll dress like Men in Black. No, just No. You know what we'll do? We'll. get the suits from Dumb and Dumber. Oh, yeah. Can we wear those? Let's pull. them. We We're going to be bright. I. want to wear those. I'm going to bleach. my hair. I'm going to wear funny. goggles. Dude, Dumb and Dumber suits. Can we look at that? You and me. That's. 100. We We have to wear that. We're. going to dress up. That's you and me. with the Are you going to really do that. though? I'll do it with you. Yeah, let's. do it. Okay. It's on May. So, I'll get. your ticket on May. Well, so school.

worked well. Can I tell you in May? Yeah, May. Okay. So, it's in May. Yeah. And and and then is there an afterparty? I mean, I'm not going unless there's a. afterparty. There's no You're not. throwing a graduate party? No, you have. to throw a party. That's How about Boba. milk tea? You love that. A little boba. tea party. How about You know what? We'll set it up. We'll get a boba truck. Boba Truck, Boba Milk party. Let's do. that. Okay. Okay. Oh, that sounds fun. Look at that. That's what we want to do. We want a party and you got to throw. And then three years from now, from the.

sodas, they work at [ __ ] um Chipotle. That's mean. Underneath there, you just. say corner flower right underneath. I'm. off today. I'm off today. You're getting. back. I'm getting back. You're fine. We're going to hum right into it. So, um, what are you going to write on your. on your cap? You have to write like an. inspirational quote. You know that, right? I have to write I mean, people do. that. That's like a thing, right? They. write something inspirational on their. on the top of their hat. We're all stories in the end. Just make. it a good one. A Canadian. Canadian. Yeah. What? Count all of your.

blessings. Something your dreams. I. can't say uh remember your dreams. Jimmy. Buffett said that. A man of many quotes. It is 5:00 somewhere. I want negative. ones though. You know what I mean? Create chaos like a Joker. What a what a. joke. What would Joker say? Incelli. What? Like into the Joker. It is so. incell. Eat the rich. No. Yeah. Eat the rich. Yeah. Yeah. That's so funny to write. that on your cap. They're going to frisk. her. Then they're going to think she's. going to shoot up the graduation. I.

mean, you're already wearing a long. gown. Why would a Why would a Korean. joker feel like Oh, Korean. joker. A Korean joker. Where we were at? Enjoy the kimchi. Enjoy a cake. Where where we were at? He. poisoned the kimchi at graduation. You. know what I was saying when I say rarer? Whereer? Yeah. What? Riddler. Oh, where?

Yeah. Yeah. Where where at? What. happened? There was a Korean There was. actually a Korean joker. Yeah. He was uh. targeting uh fe fentanyl. A feminist. group. Oh, feminist group. So he was an. anti anti No. activists harassed and. targeted by anti-feminist groups. He. kept following us and shouting. We were. terrified. We were in South Korea. Yeah. That's insane. We support the women. We. really do. Crazy. Did you get [ __ ] in. San Francisco? No. I What happened was. this and I did one of my old school high. school tricks. Oh. Oh, you want to guess.

what it is? I I'll talk about it. Yeah. You show up to the party. There's no. party. High on drugs. You go in the. corner. You masturbate. You go home. No, you go cute. You go cute. You go cutesy. poop. Right. So, what happened was she. came to a show. this. So, there's this. girl I met years ago on Instagram. Pretty very pretty. And then she kind of. like disappeared from the DMs, but then. she's like, "Can I get a ticket?" Cuz. they're sold out, right? So, I get her. in, I do come up, you some high school. friends came up, then she comes up and. then I invited her to dinner with the. gang, you know, we go to the dinner and.

then I kissed that show for some reason. 10. dudes from stage. She don't kiss 10. dudes with us. I know, but I did. 10. guys? Yeah. I just Everyone would do it. Wow. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And then she she. was like, "How come you don't kiss me?". So in the car ride, she I made her drive. by. I go, "Let's just do a kiss." Right. I went like that. We kissed like that. A. pack. Just a pack. And I go, "Let's do. it again.". Right. Oh, a little stronger pack. Yeah. Let's do it again. Little Gregory pack.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Samuel French. Yeah. Yeah. You Pearl. Harbor, right? Right. And then we just. made out the whole time in the car. Whoa. How long is a make out now? In 2025. Well, here's the deal. I don't. get the Well, here's why. I don't get. the I don't I don't know. Yeah. No, I. don't I don't know. Like, because if I'm. making out with my wife, it's cuz we're. going to we're hooking up. You're making. out as a setup. I'm saying how No, I'm. making up because remember I haven't. been jerking off, right? What do you Now. you're loaded for a month, like 12 days.

or whatever. Pretty good, right? Not. last night. Yeah, you had to. Right. And. then my penis went, you know what I. mean? Yeah. Yeah. Old boy Dave woke up. Yeah. old boy. Oh, we need a. fight. Let's go, black eye. Whatever. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And then um and when. you you know when you're when you're. making out with somebody, it you know, your body it's just biological, right? You're just super horny. Well, that's. the that's the that's the And I just you. know, four pumps and a [ __ ].

marshmallow came out. Yeah. It was so. thick. It hurt. Like it's like wood glue. coming out of your pants. Oh wow. It. hurt so bad. And it was just it was like. all the It was like a pancake batter. Yeah. Yeah. Like am I anchor? What's. going on around here, dude? It was like, you know what I mean? It was like You're. right. By the way, I know you I know you. meant pancake, but you said pancake and. and somehow pancake is thicker than. pancakes. It is way thick. It's the. thickest. I meant to say pancake. Pancake batter is pancake batter is the.

What is pancake? So, wait a minute. Little kissy session and then never talk. to her again. That's it. I don't know. Maybe more. Well, you know, um, and this. is a message to everybody. You're high, huh? Me? Yeah. Oh, I Why. you giggling like that then? Because. Andreas made me laugh. Okay. So, uh, may. I make a message to the women? You may. Ladies and gentlemen, a message for the. women. I'm ready for a relationship. He wants to settle down. But the Dan has.

to break. I don't know what that means. What? I don't know what that means. Well, I'm a poet. I know. And so, just. figure out what that means. All right, Hemingway, let me think. Yeah. The dam. has to break means Yeah. Oh, that's. right. I get it. What is it? You want a. squirter? Is that No, this a part of it. Yeah. Yeah. No, what I'm saying is is that I. think I use the wrong terminology. I. think so. I think so. Yeah. What? Your. penis has to break. No, no, no, no, no.

Well, you do have to break them in like. a new pair of shoes. Yeah. Yeah. You got. to break in that wiener. No. I mean, just the. um the next person I like and that you. know I mean there's intimacy and stuff. I think I might go for it for long. termyy. Really? Yeah. Yeah. But it's got. to be the one. It's got to be the one. Yeah. You're ready. Ready? Yeah. Because. you know um some people treat me like. I'm still open microb. Who is that? Open. microb. Who treats you that way? You. mean 30 years ago? What? You mean women?

Yeah. I don't treat No one. They're just. always like, "Yeah, like you know I can. do better." Oh, that kind of mentality. And I'm like, I don't think so. I don't. think so. No. In LA, you can what? You. can do better than a comedian in LA. It's like the city where Leonard. DiCaprio lives. You can do better. Yeah. Like if you're dating celebrities, like. you can go way higher. He's shooting. today. I could tell he came with a. couple loaded. He's ready. Okay. Oh god. Timothy Shamlet is like such a handsome. guy. I I understand what you're saying, dude. Have you ever had Shamlet's uh uh.

pancake batter? No. Oh, I would though. Exactly. I would. Yeah, I know. [ __ ]. perfect. I would I would have it. But I. want to say let me direct direct to you. Okay. Um that's rude. Yeah. And what I'm. saying is is that um Leo is one guy, right? And he wants He looks up with so. many. I know, but he wants 25 or younger. and supermodel like you. That's not my. demographic. No, I'm I'm The girl that I. made out with last night was 33. That's.

good. Yeah. Do you understand what I'm. saying? Mature. I understand. Yeah. You. understand what I'm saying? So, it's. like, you know, I'm not this not the. same pool that we're fishing from. Emperor. Yeah. What I'm saying to you is. that I've seen your pool as well. Okay. And I can expose some I can expose. something about you as well. Right. I. went out with this guy flew out all the. way to New York. Oh my god. Also, first. of all, you're in a pool. You're in a. pond. Let's be very Yeah, exactly. Thank. you so much. Right. Also, but also, you. flew to New York to go see somebody. That's why you went to New York. I. wondered why you left for Well,

actually, I told you before. Wait, no. You told me you were going out there, but not to see somebody. Yeah. Oh, yeah. That's right. I was And I want to say. like Ali Wong in her book. Ali Wong in. her book, right? She says she has a. book. Yeah. Oh, I didn't know that. And. there's a little paragraph about me. Oh, that's so nice. And then when she came. to LA, I didn't hit on her. I showed her. around, right? I met her places. And I. go, "This is where you eat. This is. where the good clubs, this and that.". Right. I showed them the ropes. There's. no sexual intention there. And you know. that that that's what I'm like. All my.

openers are women and they're all just. friends. So you So what you're doing. right now, what you're doing is hiding. in plain sight. Like Predator. Just like Predator the Yeah. Yeah. Just. like Predator the movie ship station. Live life in general. It can be chaotic. It can. But if you're in charge of order. fulfillment for an e-commerce business. business, you know that its own special. kind of chaos. But with ShipStation, you. can count on the day-to-day remaining.

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trueclass.com/badfriends to save. That's. true.com/badfriends. Shop now and. elevate your wardrobe today. You're. jetting now because of the show. Of. course. Yeah. And it's great and I'm. proud of you. Thank you. I do want it. can end. Oh, Bob. What? I Well, let the emperor. speak. You know, I treat you like a pier. All. of you guys. Maybe. Maybe better than a. pier. Yeah. Like Alex Costa. You know. him? No clue. All right. He works for. me. What? On Tiger Belly. Alex, why? We.

go into Panagonia yesterday and I'm. going to buy something. He goes, "Bob, can I buy some? Buy me something?" I go, "Yeah." And I go to this register and. I'm bringing things in and it's $600 and. the thing I bought was 80. What did he. buy? This [ __ ] complex winter jacket, right? You bought it, though. Yeah, you. did. Yeah. Yeah. I was so livid. I know, right? And what I'm saying is you guys. treat me like that, too. Like we're. peers. I want to say this to you, right?

And it's not a threat. It's an order. Right. Yeah. This is Trump and Zalinski. It's I'm Zilinski. I'm Zilinsky for. sure. Oh, yeah. You attack me first. No, this is Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You're Putin. I like that. Yeah. Yeah. You do. Yeah. You're closer to. Putin. Yeah. You're closer to Putin. So, what I'm saying to you is that I love. you, right? I love you, too. But it. could end. Oh, wow. The dream could end. I'm aware. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You. too, Mone. And you, too. Me? He go me. He's He's actually been good.

He's great. And also, let's be real. about the Patagonia jacket. You [ __ ]. loved buying that. You love that. You. know you did because it's a power move. now. Now you have that over that kid. Remember when I bought you that [ __ ]. jacket and shoes? That's what I'm. saying. You're going to you're going to. use that as that's ch. You play chess. A. lot of people look at you and think. checkers. Chinese. No. No. No one thinks. checkers. Everyone thinks chess. Nice. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Or. my gal or whatever. P. A lot of people.

look at you and they think pyal. Pow. Yeah. But you're actually playing savant. level street Russian opening chess. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Seriously, you are because he's done this since. I've known him. A. castleant. You know what is and you have. little pawns all over the place, right? And you're the queen. You are the queen. And you've always been the queen. I'm. the king. No, buddy. You're the queen. I'm the queen. The queen is by far the. most powerful piece in chess. All right. You should know that you play chess. I'm. the king. You're the king. Okay. You're. the king because we're partners. Bishop.

Andreas. Rook. Rook. Rook. Rook. Rook. He's a He's a rook. All rooks. Oh, no. No. No. No. Pakone is a pawn. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Pawn. Pawn. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. What is uh Carlos, you know, honestly. Yeah. Knight. He might be a. knight. Yeah. Cuz he he goes he lies. Oh, he deceives. Yeah. L. L. You know what I mean? Yeah. What is. she? She's a bishop. She is a bishop. Angles. Angles. Angles. Angles. Precise. attacked. Watch this. Watch this. Watch. this. This how good she is at attacks.

and angles. Ready? Yeah. You have the. floor. Your mom's a hoe. Okay. See. It's an attacked angle. You little [ __ ] That was That was so. good. You little [ __ ] You're a good. [ __ ] though. Well, so she is. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You're That was bishop moves. there. See that? So, we have it all. figured out in the studio. So, he's so. mad at you. You don't know about this. guy. Those little things, they seep into. his You know what's really funny? Look.

at Look how red his face is. You know. what's funny? You said to attack. I. know. I I I could never be mad at you. It really It kind of sucks. Yeah, it. sucks. Like if one of the clowns did it. Yeah. I would I It would be a fight. Do. you remember when she was mad at us? Um. that was the most heartbreaking two. weeks. I broke my heart. It really did. hurt my feelings. Yeah. What? It hurt my. feelings. What? Your mom's a hoe? Yeah. Yeah. It just settled. Yeah, it just.

settled. Just settled. It settled right. now. I see the river as Yeah. Yeah. I'm. mad. It was. I I do. That was good. No. Never in a. million years. Wow. But you planted a. seed. Congratulations. Very good. It was. very good. Yeah. Yeah. Very good. And. you know what? Another thing you do that. drives me crazy, my friend. What? Since. we're doing this. Yeah. Get it out. What? Why is it when I recommend you. something, you never watch it? But when. anyone else recommends it, you watch it. Like what? Like I've been asking you to. watch different things and you don't. watch it. And I've been telling you, see.

what now? notice. Did you notice? I saw. Yeah. I've been telling you that. Yeah. Go. ahead. I've been telling you I'm busy. and I'm so tired that I can't watch any. show. It's so funny. Can I kind of. counteract that? Yeah. You live with me? Yeah. Right. Do I have ears? Yeah. Do I. hear you playing [ __ ] down there? Yeah. All you hear me?

All kinds of [ __ ] Asian. yet 24 hours a day and she's. giggling. Right. Right. Right. And I. recommend nothing. Nothing. Yeah. It's. Tik Tok. It's different. It is. That is. true. Don't ever raise your voice like. that to me. Okay. Why is it different? Because you can just scroll. You don't. have to think about You don't have to. actually like watch it. It's just. scrolling. I got to I got to stop. My t.

My Tik Tok time is bad. I I'm It. consumes my life. One day, I'm not going. to lie, I did six hours. I do too. That's a lot. It's a lot. The whole. Anytime I'm on a flight and it has. Wi-Fi. Yeah. I'm Tik Tok. And that the. government has us. Well, they want to. enslave us. Well, the good government, the Chinese government, the good, the. one we love. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. The one. we love. Yeah. Back then they did it. with religion, right? Now they're doing. with Tik Tok. Now they're doing it with. Tik Tok and capitalism, right? Get ready. with me. And we're all slaves, right? And I love it. Get ready with me to. become a Chinese slave. I love being a.

Chinese slave. Me, too. We're there. Nah, guys. Ever. Did you see it? The. what? Nah. He recommended Na. You didn't. watch that, did you? No. Na 2 is out. Okay. It made $2 billion in China. It's. the greatest animation move I've ever. seen. You better watch it before they. make a third one. Yeah. Yeah. What did. you say? Did we ever What? Did you guys. ever download the other Tik Tok app? Red. Zone or whatever it was. Red Line. Yeah. Yeah. Red Pipes. What is it? The what is. it? It's the red note. Red note. So, was.

I close? It's When I said red line, was. I close? Did you hear that? It's already. in Chinese. It's all in Chinese. Was. that close? Yeah. Thank you. It's named. as Salungu, a Chinese social media app. that allows users to share and discover. different content about fashion, travel, and more. Similar to Instagram with a. layout similar to Pinterest. There was a Mongolian guy in my show and. I kissed him in the lips and he had to. he just came came here from Mongolia and. he stood up in petrified and he goes, "I. don't know what going on.".

Like he was like, "I don't know what. going on." Imagine a Mongolian guy who's. like literally never been to the United. States. That's his first. Look at that. Look at them. They're all data from. [ __ ] Goonies. All. they're still dressed like that. That. what a peaceful life. Don't you want to. do this with me, dude? Zoom in. And. that's so funny. I just realized, look. at his hat. I realized why they like. Spider-Man. Why? Look at those eyes. That's the closest superhero they have. Yeah. Might as well do it. Mongolian ch.

uh. Spider-Man. Might as well do it. There's. a window open. Let's go. SP. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, and. there's no [ __ ] buildings or trees. Yeah. So, they're doing trees. Yeah, they're baby trees. Trees. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Trees. Spiderman. Spiderman. From tree to tree. You will see. Anyway, this Mongolian. Spider-Man. That is kind. It does make. sense when you see the mask now. I've.

never even thought about that. Wow. Yeah. Oh, what a cute guy. And it was. Chinese Spider-Man. Yeah. Asian. Spider-Man is out there. That's so cute. All right. So, what else in your life, Jules? I want to hear what's going on. besides you being tired, which is the. narrative that's been happening for the. 5 years I've known you. Um, I'm just living with you to Bobby. because of the fires. Yeah, I have all. the dogs, school, work. Well, I could. see you working at like Chick-fil-A and. that would help us cuz I'd like to eat. it more often for free. Yeah, I also. want to do that for free food. Well,

then go get a job at Chick-fil-A. There's one near here. Well, I need a. visa. Oh, yeah. The Can you buy the 5. million gold visa for me? What does that. mean? Trump says US will sell $5. million. Wait, sell $5 million gold card. to wealthy foreigners. So you have to. pay $5 million. Yeah. And then you get a. really easy path to citizenship. But. apparently it's not even that much money. for a lot of people. So it's going to. attract like grifters. $5 million is not. much money has a gold visa which is like.

if you invest enough money in the. country you're going to. Well, I. understand that. But this is just your. buy outright buying a visa for 5. million. If you're an entrepreneur who's. invested and has work here, then it's. different. But this is you just pay five. million buy a house or whatever it is. Wow. Yeah. But the the guy that's doing. the rice on his head, you know what I. mean? He can't go. If he had a dollar. for every grain. That's true. That is. true. That's true. We're going to be. selling a gold card. I love that it's a. gold card. Yeah. It's crazy. You have a. If you have a green card, this is a gold.

card. I love Dude, he puts everything in. toddler perspective. You have a green card. This is a gold. card. But do you know why he's doing. this? Cuz Elon Musk and the tech stuff, remember? Yeah. And you mean all the. Doge [ __ ] What? All the Doge stuff. His. like the Doge employees that are. clearing out the government. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But there's a lot of. tech people from other lands and then. Trump goes, "I don't know if he you know. what I mean." And he got he got there. was a controversy. So now I think this. is a way for them to get in. $5 million.

is insane. So you're telling me enough. people that's a very limited amount of. people that have $5 million laying. around. That's why they do it. Yeah. But. I mean, but then it's like a tease. No. one's ever going to How many people can. really do it? I mean, I guess Chinese. money maybe a lot. Mhm. There's a lot of. billionaires in China. Yeah. Doesn't. China have the most billionaires in the. world? Of course. Yeah. Yeah. But they. have the most people. I know. But no, but even still per capita, they have the. most billionaires. Really? By far. I I. We don't even have that many. We have. the most billionaires. We do. Yeah. Oh,

wow. We're the best. Holy [ __ ] There's. Indian billionaires. Do it. What? I am the Cody King. Yeah, that's it. I will be a billionaire. Wealth and technology, pharmaceuticals, and energy. Wow. Wow. Germany, we made a lot of mistakes. Yeah. Yeah. But we're back. Yeah. Russia, of course, we stole this money. and killed. They killed for all that. money. Yeah. Wow. Russia will kill you.

Yeah. Well, 813 billionaires. Do you. want that card? Really? I was wrong. I. thought if we if we give What would what. would you do for us if we got you a $5. million gold card? And let me preface. this by saying we're not doing it. Yeah. Yeah. But what Well, if you were going. to do it, what would happen? You would. do this podcast. You're basically every. buying her. That's like a buy You bought. a human. Yeah. That's like you would buy. a human, which by the way, you know this. is going to enact human trafficking for. sure. That's inevitable of what this is. going to do. There's no way this is a. positive program. Sucks. So, what Yeah.

What could you even offer us? If Bobby. and I got a bunch of investors to give. us enough money to pay for you to become. a $5 million gold card citizen, what do. we get in return? I can I can clean. I. can cook. I can wash the dishes. You've. never cooked me anything, [ __ ] Because. you never asked. You know, kicked me one. thing today. I woke up from my nap. Bacon. Were you cooking bacon? Love. bacon. Yeah. Yeah. bacon throughout my. house. Yeah. None for me. You cook bacon.

and don't leave extra? No. That's. insane. Yeah, it's insane. That's crazy. Another thing she does is um do you not. like me? Because I have even when we. live together, we never see each other. That's because I wake up in the morning, you wake up at night. We don't see each. other. There is fact. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But even when you're there, trust. me, you don't leave. And what do I give. you? Donuts. Old fairy donuts, right? Like the pistachio. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You know, get guess what you've given me. a as a gift. Zero. A burden. A burden.

You're a burden. Trust me, light. Let me. ask you something. What? Everyone in the. room, when you cook bacon at home, you. cook the whole package. No. No. What? What the [ __ ] are you talking about? What are you talking about? You don't. cook the whole thing? I'm going to eat. 15 strips. I know. No, but I mean what you No, what. you do is you cook the whole thing and. then you have you have some for the dogs. and then you have some in the fridge. that you make later with a sandwich so. it's cooked already. No. Oh, that's I.

never thought of that. This every time I do it, you cook the. whole [ __ ] You don't do this. I do. it. I microwave my bacon. Maybe this is. some Midwest [ __ ] I've never been into. a house back in the day when we were. growing up. You always had to have extra. bacon because what she's doing is. violating you. She's cooking in your. home, not leaving leftovers for you. It's a complete violation. It's a. complete violation. Yeah, I agree. It's. a complete violation. You cook the whole. [ __ ] sleeve. You leave some for Tito. You give some for the dogs. Give some to. bacon. Tito Bobby. No, but. Tito Bobby doesn't even eat like cold.

stuff already. You heat it up. No, even. then he doesn't eat leftovers once it's. like Oh my god. There it is. The I don't. I don't I don't I don't I don't I don't. Baseline fact. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I. don't. But don't say it out loud. Yeah. Don't tell anybody that. Yeah. Yeah. No, but honestly, you cook the whole sleeve. Maybe that's in the Midwest because. every house you go to, they would cook. the whole sleeve. You absolutely. wouldn't save it. It doesn't make any. sense. Also, once you've opened the. package of bacon, slimy, sloppy, greasy.

bacon, you put it in the thing, it's a. thing, it's a spill, it's a thing, it's. a fridge, it's a nightmare. Don't do it. Cook the whole sleeve. From now on, you. cook the whole packet and you go, "Taby, how you cook your bacon and you give. some to the dogs or do you not feed the. dogs bacon?" I like I love Who Let me. ask you another question. Who gives the. dogs treats? You. Exactly. Do you buy. any treats? They already have their. food. No, no, no. Yeah, she's doing. Filipino rules. That's insane. Yeah. Yeah. And we're in America. Get one meal. a day. Yeah, I know. That's what it is. You have to understand the dog's food.

the dog's food is to keep it alive. Treats are to keep it happy and. engaging. Exactly. I just give it like. once a week. What the It's insane. And. also, she measures the food. You only. get this two pound. Whatever. She You. Youigh it. You weigh it. I don't want. them to be fat. I don't want them to be. We have dog impetic now. Yeah, they do. They make it now. Right. What's Waggoi? They have Wag. Yeah, Waggoi. Let me tell you something. Yeah, that's. [ __ ] up. You've got to feed dogs.

treats. That keeps them happy and. engaged. And I trust me. And my fear is. when they she leaves one day with the. dogs and they they look at me with sad. eyes. Yeah. They go, "Daddy, they do. Byebye." You know, I. mean, bye-bye. Yeah. Yeah. I feel so sad. about it. You know what you're basically. doing? It's like when a prisoner, they. slide the meal through the door slot. You're giving them regimented door slot. They're not even satisfied by that. That's so they can get through the day. You got to go get some more treats. And. the I want to say another thing. Okay. I.

just Let me just say another thing. Okay. They move out of my house, right? I have a dog, older dog named Remy. Yeah, I know. Right. Perfectly walking. spine fine. Fine spine. Perfect. eyesight. The next time I see it, right, broken. Not just broken, 50 lbs less, twisted spine, legs, you know what I. mean? Gray eyes. Yeah. I go, "What are you doing?" You. gave a dog spobifida and made it go. blind. Yeah. Yeah. Give it some food. No. treats, dude. That's why. No, cuz he's.

just getting old. He's Okay, you're. right. Do you ever give Do you ever give. the dog like peanut butter or anything. like that? Some sometimes. God, dude. What the joy? You're like ripping the. joy of a dog. There's a pill though that. have you seen that you can extend the. dog's life already? I'm buying it. already. Get get the pill. Biohacking. your dog's life. Sec Oh my god. Second. drug for K9 healthy lifespan extension. receives what? A grant? FDA support. You. can do it already. Zoom in. A. developmental drug that aims to extend. the healthy lifespan of senior dogs has. received an acceptance by the FDA Center.

for Veterary Medicine. For Remy, we got. to get it now. The drug is called. LY2. LY O2. targets age related. metabolic dysfunction and is also. designed to improve quality of life in. K9's aged 10 years and older weighing at. least 14 pounds. Remy's older than 10. one pound one pound. He's 10 lbs. Yeah. Yeah. Well, then if you fed him some. [ __ ] treats, maybe we could get him. the LOL. He has to be 12. It says What. did it say? What did it say that? It. said 14. You got to fatten up Remy, dude. I'm.

going to get him this. You got to get. him that. You got to get him. You want. Remy to live? Yeah. We're going to. fatten him up. Okay. Okay. By the way, fat and happy is the way most people. like to live. They like to live like. that. Okay. Yeah. This is great. I want. to buy this immediately. That's what a. great How do you inject it though? You. inject it or it seems like it's a pill, right? Or it's something they chew on. Pill. Yeah. By the way, I don't know if. you ever have to give your dog pills. We. just had to give her uh pills when we. were back home cuz she was sick. Oh, no. But by the way, impossible. She won't. eat it and and we bury it in the treats. and the food. Still knows it's in there.

We'll eat all the treat and then spit. out the pill. Yeah. You're [ __ ]. genius. She's a genius. It pissed me. off. She did it every time. We buried. it. Then I put it then I put it in a um. uh uh uh uh Oh my god. The you know the. Kongchu toy, you know? Yeah. And I put. it in there with all sorts of [ __ ]. [ __ ] Yeah. Cleared it out around it. and left the bill. Yeah. Yeah. [ __ ]. little [ __ ] Incredible. Shopify. Oh boy, buddy. Guess what? What? Um we have an online business and. it wouldn't We It's incredible because.

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boy Pete just walked in and he and he. starts like [ __ ] snooping around. This is Is this your dog? Is this like. one of your closest friends? Uh yeah. Yeah. Do you have Chinese eyes? First of all, first of all, welcome Dave. Blunts to the show. Thank you. Dave. Blunts. Give him a round of applause. You're a rapper. You make fant make. fantastic music. The first rapper on. here. Yeah. We had MGK on the show. I. don't know if you qualify him. Yeah. Yeah, I qualify him for sure. Okay. Very. good. Yeah. He makes music in general, but you do just rap. Yeah. Yeah. But you.

But you can see a blending of genres. Yeah. A blending of genre. And we'll say. for the audience that didn't get to see. before, he brought his friend Pete who's. who's his boy who's snooping around. Yeah. Hey, I I told him to come in here. first to check it out. And And you know, Pete did his job, but usually people say. hello. Pete didn't do that. Pete just. aimlessly snuck around. And Pete's your. second guy. So you had another white guy. before him. Yeah, that's my manager. Yeah. Where did you find this white? Uh, man, he found me. He found you. Yeah, that was pretty easy to do. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Hell yeah. Hell yeah. Dave, so you.

found this this guy found you. And this. is your This is your new your new. manager. Is he with you every day? Pretty much. Yeah. Every day. Do you. trust this guy? I do with my entire. life. Yeah. I like to hear that. Yeah. This is who This is our manager. This is. Rudy. Say hello to Rudy. Yeah, Rudy. That's our manager. Rudy. She's a. genius. She's a genius. She's She was. the head of Sony at one point. Well, for. real. Yeah. Yeah. had a Oh [ __ ] This is. like This is like an emotion like Yeah. Yeah. It's way down. Yeah. Thanks. How. did you end up here? That was good. Okay. Tell them how you ended up here.

Um because I don't have a visa. She. needs a visa. Yeah, she needs a visa. But how does that like with Sony? That. isn't She doesn't work for Sony. She. doesn't work for He's [ __ ] around. Okay, my bad. We are trying We are. trying to raise It's his niece. We are. trying to raise money to get her a visa, a $5 million gold visa from Trump. We. were interested to know if maybe you. would want to donate some of the. proceeds. Nah, man. I just got money, man. I got real [ __ ] bro. I'm not into. donating. What's your favorite drink? [ __ ] Uh, water, man. You see, I'm glad.

you guys got this for me. Water. This is. my new found favorite drink recently. I'm I've been on my health journey, you. know? Not on alcohol or lean anymore. You know what I'm saying? It's just. water for now. Are you smoking weed? No, I quit weed when I was like 20. How old. are you? I'm 24. I was smoking from the. time I was like nine to 20. Nine. Nine. years old. Wow. Give us Give us your. story about How many calories is we. [ __ ]. How many When you're nine? How do you.

smoke weed at nine? Bro, I I used to. hang around older kids. So like they. were like teenagers and [ __ ] So where'd. you grow up? In Iowa. [ __ ] Iowa. Middle of nowhere. What? Like De Moines? No. No. It was a town called Davenport. Davenport, Iowa. Iowa. Wow. Yeah. And. you're kicking it with you're kicking it. with a bunch of troublemaking. nine-year-olds that and and somehow. someone has an older brother that wants. to smoke weed and you're nine. Yeah. A. rag tag misfit group of kids. You talk. to any of these guys anymore now that. you made it now that you're on? No. No.

No. Not that I, you know, like changed. up on them. We just grew apart over the. years before now. Before now. Yeah. So, what is your circle very small now? Uh. yeah, it it it was pretty big at one. point, but you know, bunch of [ __ ]. happened. People change up. Uh yeah, now. it's uh pretty small now. Yeah. You want. to do you care to share what pe what. what happened in your what happened in. your circle that did people uh steal. from you? Uh nobody was stealing from. me. Um just using me pretty much using. me. Oh man. I have a show that I do.

called Bad Friends where my partner uses. me very much. You use him? Yeah, he. does. I'm a user. How? He's a user, baby. In what ways do you use him? Well, he does all the business and I just show. up. That's right. Okay. Would you fire me if that was the case? Uh, well, that's your Is he good at what. he does? Very. And you're good at what. you do? Not really. The best. Okay. Well, then [ __ ] man. It's a give and. take. It is 100%. I love you, dude. Appreciate it, man. Hell yeah. Is. there anything that I cannot say? You. can say whatever you want. I just want.

to make sure I have a [ __ ] gun load. Yeah. Okay. He wants he he doesn't have. a gun in the building. Make sure there's. no All right, cool. No, but it is funny. cuz I've seen a clip with him with a gun. before. He shooting at me. I just want. to make sure that there's no You can say. anything you want. Now go you. But he. doesn't have a gun, though. I don't have. a gun. All right. He does not have a. gun. I have a little tiny yellow gun. Oh, that's okay. I get it. What do you want to say that you can't. that you think I just want to make sure. I just before I get to going crazy? You. know what I'm saying? And go.

[Laughter]. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, what I mean, you I. don't I've seen some of your work. You. don't say crazy things. I I say pretty. crazy [ __ ] in my music. Yeah. Yeah. Like. what? Oh, man. Thank you. Thanks, Ruth. Uh [ __ ] Uh hard nword. Uh but that's. you what you you're black. Yeah. Yeah. But they still have a problem with on. Twitter. Oh, they do. They have a. problem on Twitter. That's Elon, huh? Elon doesn't really say the N word. I. don't like Twitter, man. Twitter is just. like, [ __ ] Twitter, man. I don't like.

Twitter. Well, you can say the N word on. here. Go ahead and say it a bunch if you. feel like it right now. Okay. Thank you. Uh I don't really want to say another. put on the spot, but if I appreciate. that, though. Yeah. Say whatever you. want, but I I I'll you know, if I feel. like saying it at one point, then I. will. But put on the spot right now. Like three white guys looking at me. I'm. cool right now. Also, that's definitely. not three white guys. That's a a Mexican. guy on the left, a Spanish cook on the. right, and a vagrant. A homeless guy. What is a vag Okay, I don't I don't offend you. May May I.

say something? It's just an observation. Go ahead and say something, man. It. reminds me of remember in the Dark. Knight. Dark Knight. Yeah, the movie The. Dark Knight. That guy that was in. prison, right? And he exploded. Look at. the cell phone right there. Where? In. his belly. Yeah, it was sticking out. You know what I mean? That that brought you back to the Dark. Knight. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That that. situation. Remember? Oh, he ate the cell. phone in his belly. Yeah. Yeah. That. stupid. So dumb. Boy, I should have some. observation. Yeah, you do. Yeah, you do.

I'm sorry. Was that funny? No. No. It. was funny. Every time he makes he makes. a shot at you, you have to take one. back. Yeah, take one back. Go. Hit him. And I got another one for you. I don't. know, man. I I You're a good guy, man. You're my favorite movie ever. What is. Pineapple Express? Oh, wow. I can't. You. You had the scene where you were in the. van. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I. can't. Oh, [ __ ] Is that [ __ ] Bobby. Lee right there? Yeah. Yeah. I can't. I. had to rewind it like three times. Yeah. I can't. Now you feel bad. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Right there. Wait. So, that's me. and Ken Jung. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. In Pineapple Express. Now, can I. ask you in that movie, did you would you. like more the Express or the Pineapple? Probably the pineapple. Pineapple for. sure. For sure. Pineapple for sure. You. haven't seen the movie, have you? I. don't I have no idea what it is. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No, it's it's not. We. had a whole story line and they cuted. the story line out. We really did. It's. on the Isn't in like the the DVD? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So Dave's even seen. that. That's how much he loves and. respects you and here you are [ __ ]. on him saying he eats cell phon. You. know, I used to watch Mad TV as a kid. Wow. You did? Remember? Yes. I I told I. said eat what? You said he was eating a.

cell phone. No, I just The visual remind. me of the movie cell phones. I don't eat. cell phones, man. Tell them what you. eat. Tell them that you don't eat south. I don't eat. Can I guess? Go ahead and. guess. Waffles. You like waffles? Blueberry waffles. Yeah, I'm a blue. waffle. I'm a fan of waffles. Blueberry. chicken. Fried chicken. All right. Everybody I love it, too. I had it last. night. What else? You You do? I like the. game. I like this game. What do you What. do you think he eats? Uh, probably. Chipotle. No, I've never had Chipotle. That's You're not good at this game.

I've never had Chipotle. No. That is. shocking to me. I I've never met someone. that hasn't had Chipotle in my life. Do. you like tacos or burritos? No, not. really. No collard greens. Yeah. Yeah. See, he's pretty good at this game or. not. Okay. What else? Go ahead, Bob. Take it away. Why are you coming? Memphis barbecue. Why is he covering his. face? Because we'll put another image. Yeah, I want a different image of me cuz. I feel like what I'm saying is bad. Okay. Okay. Yeah. What would I eat? Go. ahead. This is your shot. Um,

rice hurts, but I love it. And now now. we're on the same playing field. Okay. Yeah. Come over. Come on. Get get it. Get deep. Um [ __ ] Uh that's right. [ __ ] I wasn't Okay. Yeah. [ __ ] Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. What else, baby? Come. on. Um I don't want to say the obvious. ones. You know what I'm saying? Like. cats and all types of [ __ ] like that. You know what I'm saying? You should. commit to that though. Say it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. All right. [ __ ] it. Uh uh. feline cats. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Hell yeah. At night he.

turns into one at midnight. He'll do. that. Yeah. This funny if you say [ __ ]. up [ __ ] in your on your like in your. raps and on YouTube. Mhm. But you're a. very reserved, calm, sweet guy in life. You don't have that. Uh I I only use it. when I need to, you know, and I don't. really feel like I I don't see Bobby Lee. as a threat. No. Right. You know what. I'm saying? I don't feel offended by. anything he's saying. You like me? Yeah. I'm a fan. I'm a big fan. I love you. right now, dude. I'm I'm a fan for I'm. fanned out right now. Oh, wow. Wow. That's great. Yeah. So, um what kind of. size mattress are you.

What what type of size mattress are you. sleeping on, Bobby? I feel like you. sleep on a twin. Chris for about Yeah. Yeah. I you know, honestly, that was. rude. Honestly, I want to be honest with. you. Well, we're not going to cut it. out. Why? Because you asked a real. question. Yeah. And what I want to say. to you is this. You sleep on a twin. mattress? That's very good. See what I. mean? He's opening up. Well, it's. actually like on a like a I feel like. you have like a like a car bed or some. [ __ ]. He has like a very like like kidish type.

bed. Yeah, there we go. You know, you. come in here and I'm being a child and. I'm like I'm going to just state the. obvious. You have child like he is a. talented young man. Yes, sir. He's. extremely likable. I could see you on a. sitcom. Me, too. Yeah. You want to act? Uh, yeah. At some point. Yeah. Let's do. a scene. Yeah. Let's The title of sitcom. way Different Strokes. Way different strokes. Okay. or it might. have a stroke. Yeah, it might have a. stroke. Wait, why does he have Okay, go.

ahead. Go ahead. Yeah. Yeah. Uh, but let's have your character name. for the show. That's Sheila. Mhm. Yeah. Yeah. Uh, that's Marmaduke. Okay. Hi, Maraduk. That's Marmaduke. Hello. Hello. And what racist name are you guys going. to give me? Jerome. I'm Uncle Bub. Okay. You can name yourself. And you name. yourself. Uh, Jerome. Jerome. That's. I'll take it, man. [ __ ] it. All right. I'm Uncle Bub. That's Marmaduke. And. that's Sheila. Mhm. Hi, Jerome. You want. to have breakfast? You want to sit down. and have breakfast with us? Well, [ __ ].

I don't know if I really want to have. breakfast today. I'm already Let me stop. you right there. I I got a name like Jerome. I have to be. I like it. That's a great choice. It's a. little too Steve Harvey for me. No, no, stop. Stop. Stop the process. Jerome, what'd you have for breakfast? Well, [ __ ] I already had me some grits. before I came downstairs, so I just I. don't really know if I'm too hungry. today. I made you some breakfast. Wow. Thank you. I appreciate that very.

much. But like I said before, I'd. already had me some. It's grape flavored. oimpic. Oh my. Hey, Uncle Bob here. Kids, get your. stuff. We can finally get out of get out. of these housing projects. We got to go. Oh no. This communist bastard just. offered me some [ __ ] Don't call me. communist. Uncle Jerome. I'm from. Cleveland. I think it's I think it's the Sheila. Sheila, you don't see nothing. Jerome, do you want blueberry waffles? Very.

good. Very good. Very good. Sheila, I. can't finish mine. How many did you. make, Sheila? I made 10. You made 10. waffles. How many did you eat? One. All. right. Nine for you. What? So, you want. I make 30 more. All right. Marma Duke, I'm I'm in a mood. You are. in a real mood. I'm sorry there, Jerome. Well, listen. I want you kids to work. this out when I go to work. Okay. Bye, Dad. Dad, say bye to Dad. All right,

Pops. I'll see you later. Byebye, Pops. I love you the most, Jamal. You know. that. Thank you. But my name is Jerome. Well, in this house, you're Jamal. You. get your own house. You can call. yourself whatever you want. Just leave, Dad. Leave. I love you. We're going to. get ready for school. Bye, Dad. I love. you, you [ __ ] And then when he. leaves, I change to my real voice. I'm. not going for none of that [ __ ] no more. Yeah. Well, I'm I'm tired of you using. your fat as a blanket. [Laughter].

I'm tired of you peeing in mason jars. and hiding it in your bedroom. It stinks. up there. Yeah. You know what, Jerome? I love you. [ __ ] you. And then the credits go down. Credit. Yeah. Yeah. Wow. To be continued. Call. ABC. Yeah, I think there's a show. somewhere. We can get that. Sony. Call. your friends at Sony. Show somewhere. though there. Dave, what's the deal? Are. you on tour? I'm getting ready to go on. tour. You are? Yes. And I'm going I'm. going It's going to be the best tour. ever. Who Who opens for you on tour?

We're still setting all that [ __ ] up. But yeah, I'm going on tour April 12th. It begins April 12th. Yeah. Englewood. You start here in Englewood, California. No. No. I started in Phoenix, I believe. Phoenix. There we go. Dallas. Wow. So, um, could we come to it? Do we get. comped or backstage? All that stuff. Hell yeah. Hell yeah. Uh, [ __ ] You want. to come to the Santa Ana show? Yeah, Santa Ana. We should do that in May. Yeah, let's go to the Santa Ana show, dude. Hell yeah. That'll be fun. What's. a consolation room? Are you selling good.

tickets right now, huh? You're killing. it. That shit's selling pretty good. Yeah, they're they're coming cuz they. want to see the crowd surf. Yeah, they. want to they want to see you crowd. surfing. Yeah, I I announced that I'm. going to be crowd surfing at one uh city. on the tour. I don't know what city it. is. It's just going to speak to me in. the moment. I got to be honest. I don't. know. Why is he laughing? I'm not too. sure what I said. That's funny. Well, no. He Well, what's what's funny? No, no, no. Well, boy, I sure have some bad. friends. Very good. Very good. That's. the name of the show. I love you, dude. Signs right there. I do think I do think. I am curious of how the mechanics are.

going to work of what? On on you on you. surfing in a crowd. Uh yeah, man. I. mean, [ __ ] my fans are going to hold me. up as I dive into the crowd and you're. going to jump from the stage. So, who. are your friends? Triple H, The Rock, bodybuilders. I mean, I mean, I hope that the Rock. there. I mean, who's there, dude? I. mean, Dave, let me listen. My fans like. a 12-year-old skinny kid. What the [ __ ].

Listen, the [ __ ] It's kind of like. when, you know, a mom can move a car. You know what I'm saying? That Listen, my fans I don't have [ __ ] ass fans, bro. Okay. My fans are like really. strong minded and so I feel like that'll. just transfer over. Okay. So to physical. strength tell me this. Have you ever. crowd surfed before? No. No. Hell no. Okay. But you you are going to do at one. of these shows, Andrew. Yeah. Talk him. out of it. What is he? Okay. What is he. saying? He's asking me to talk you out.

of doing I didn't say that. Say that. What the [ __ ] That's crazy. He said. talk him out of it. No. No. There's no. talking me out of it. He's saying. please. Dead serious. Please talk him. out of it. Someone's going to die. Someone's gonna die is what he's saying. They can hear you in the mic now. Dave, you're going to pick a show to do this. You're going to crowd surf. You're going. to jump from the stage. Yes. Yes, sir. Wow. That brave man. I mean, I I I don't. want to crowd surf. I'm afraid I break a. neck. You don't want him to do What is. he What is he like Why is he talking to. you and and not because I I'll tell you. why. Can I tell you why? Go ahead. Go. ahead. Hi, bud. Um Hi, bud. I feel like.

I'm being the mean one. Yeah. And he's. playing the nice guy. It's good cop, bad. cop. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And I feel like. the things I'm saying I'm going to get. [ __ ] lynched for. Not lynched. Lynched. Wow. Okay. Right. Crucif. 2. days after Black History Month. Crucified. Crucified for. Honestly, I. swear to God that wasn't a thing. Interesting choice of words. Yeah. Yeah. I swear to God that wasn't a thing. I. swear to God. I swear to God, dude. Oh, I get it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm going to. be crucified for and you're going to be. the saint. Here's what it is. Yeah. You.

feel like. societyy's going to move you to the back. of the bus. That that better better than Lynch. That's better than Lynch. That's what I. feel like. Yeah. Yeah. That was a good. one. But even better than Lynch. You. feel like the whole country is going to. see this and they're going to sick dogs. on you. Is that what you're saying? Yeah. That's. what I'm saying. You feel like people. are going to watch this show. Yeah. And. go, Andrew seems to be getting along. with Dave. Yeah. Bobby, we should hit. with a with a [ __ ] fire hose. Yes. These are all these are all uh things.

that have happened to black people. What? Yeah, that that's mean that you know. what it's funny. It's funny, bro. I'm. not a soft ass [ __ ] I know you're not. And I'll tell you something, right? This. is serious business. We're talking about. serious business. Okay, let's get to the. serious business. And what I'm saying to. you is that you mean the civil rights. movement. You know, it was. what about it? What you just said? The. civil rights. What about it? What I'm. saying is is that you I mean we fought. hard. You I mean who is you? What? Who.

is we? What were you doing during this? was he was he was actually a yellow. panther. He was around back then. Yellow. panther. Okay. Well, I did my own. speech. Okay. You want to hear it? Nate. speech. No. You want to hear my You want. to hear my speech? Okay. Go ahead. I had. a dreaming. that white people would do their own. laundry. I had my own speech that night. Okay. That night. What night? When when what. specific night? You know, when Trump the. civil rights movement was not just one. night. The dark night.

I feel like he thinks it was just one. singular night. It was the Dark Knight. Okay. Oh, yeah. Yeah. So, I when Martin. Luther had this great speech, I did my. own speech. Okay. At a Chinese. restaurant. Yeah. It was four people. there. But, you know, I mean, it was it. moved those four. Yeah. Yeah. It really. did. Okay. I'm telling you, he's we're. we're bonding worlds here. We're. bonding. We're like, do you prefer like. let's say you and I went in a war? Excellent. Okay. Go ahead. Go ahead. Say. you and I went in a war. Okay. We're in. a war. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Um,

I'm fine. Wait, before I can Can I just. say something because you mentioned war? Yeah. Did you know that now they're not. gonna allow transgender people in the. military? That's pretty crazy. That's cra How do. you feel about it? How do you feel about. Well, [ __ ] I don't really [ __ ] I'll go. to war with any of these [ __ ]. That's my. Yeah. Yeah. That's a pretty good You. guys like that one? That's a really good. one. Really good use of the word. Yeah, it's a really good idea. I' I've been uh. Yeah, I got that lineup. I've been. working on that joke. [ __ ] ass n I've.

wanted to use those three words so bad. in conjunction. It's pretty good, man. I. I like saying those words, man. I just. got I just got it, Andrew. And I want. you to say it right. A sequel to a. movie. And tell me the movie that he's. needs to be in. Yeah. A sequel to a. movie that he needs to be in. Fences. Wow. That's. Fences. Wow. Fant. Yeah. Did win an. Oscar? What? Did anyone win an Oscar for.

that movie? Yes. Driving me as Daisy. Oh, come on, man. Boy, I sure have some bad friends. There. we go. Yeah. Yeah. I have a little dick. Okay. All right. Look at me, little guy. A big guy. Whatever. You mean I have a. little dick? I have malfunctions in my. body, right? Malfunction. Yeah. And I've. had people tease me my whole I've been. bullied. Why are you talking about your. body like it's a machine? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's I've had bull I've been. bullied. Okay. Right. Yeah. I've seen. and I'm We have the same cause. Same.

cause. You mean same cause. We're in the. same group. I I don't think I want to be. in that group. Yeah. Yeah. But you are. I don't think I'm in that group. I'm in. a group. In the in casting directors, you'd be like, "We're looking for white, Hispanic, and other." Well, you're. other. We're other. We're okay. I'll. take that. He's saying bonding you as. minorities is Yeah, we're other, dude. I. feel it, man. Minorities for sure. And. you and you you you you you are success. and you're killing it. Thank you. What a.

resilient young man. Thank you. You. know, of all against all odds, I'm doing. it. Yeah, dude. Yeah. Resilient. Oxygen. tank on stage. You Yeah. You don't have. one. You don't have one now. No, I'm. doing pretty good right now, man. I'm on. my health journey. You know, I've put. down the cup and I've picked up the. water. So, no more no more peromethsine. Uh I'm not going to say no more. Oh, there's a picture right there. Wait, hold on. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You literally. have an auction. Yeah. Yeah. That was in. front of 20,000 people. My god. More. than that, bro. But yeah, at the United. Center. Let's be real for a second. It's.

my hometown. Can I be real? Y Shyrack. Okay. Can we help you? Uh I don't think. I need help with anything right now. I'm. being real now, you know, because I'll. be real with you. And this is And this. is going to say some [ __ ] No, I'm. not going to say any [ __ ] I'm not. going to say any [ __ ] I'm not even. Go ahead. Go. No. No. Because you know, I was dear friends with Ralphie. Yes. Right. And I never said anything. Rest. in peace. I never said anything. Right. You know, and I I've always regretted. that I didn't. It's like, you know, when. people have a drug addiction at the. store, right? I always go up to if you.

ever want to go to a meeting, I'll take. you and I'm I always do. Well, for your. reference, I don't if you know, Bobby is. a recovering alcoholic. Yeah, I know. that for sure. So, what I'm saying is is. that I'm jokes aside. Yeah. Is there. anything we can do? Because it's like at. the end of the day, we want you to get. healthy here. Mhm. And I'm And I'm. working on that, you know. But what are. you doing? What am I doing? Uh, I'm. exercising, eating correctly. Okay, good. Drinking a lot of water. Now, I. recently got out of the hospital and. that was like a wakeup call for me of. sorts. What happened made you go to the. hospital? Uh, bunch of [ __ ] Uh, but.

yeah, I'm doing good now. You're fine. You're fine. Did you have a ser a. serious incident that made you go to the. hospital that uh Yeah. Yeah. But I'm. chilling now. You know what I'm saying? I'm making the changes, you know? So, what he's saying is we want Dave Blunts. around. We really thank I appreciate. that. I think you're very talented and. very cool. I think what you can do for. me is, you know, just emotional support. You know what I'm saying? You know, a. couple adds claps. Add a boy. And uh. Yeah. So, are your are your parents. still together? My mom Well, my dad.

passed away when I was young, but my mom. my mom, she's my everything. Yeah. His. dad died, too. Yeah. I'm so sorry, bro. Rest in peace, man. Another thing you. have in common. Another We have so much. in common. We We might be like, brother. Did we just become bad friends? Yeah. Yeah, we did. Yeah. I want to do a movie called War Babies. with you. War babies? Yeah. We're not. going to war any of these. No way. No. Our father was, you know, black. Yeah. And he did a couple of wars in different. places and had two and then we're. offspring of of that black man. I'd. watch that movie. I feel like we could. sell that. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know if.

you could. Yeah. Yeah. I don't not like Netflix. We. could We could probably do a 2B release. I would love to see it. I think we can. do a 2B release. You know, free movies. I feel like it might end up on YouTube. This could be a YouTube show. Yeah. War. babies. So you you live in LA. Where do. you live? I live in LA now. I recently. moved here. Well, back in June I moved. here. You like it? Yeah. I I didn't like. it at first. Then I went back home to. visit and I'm like, I got to get the. [ __ ] out of here and get back to LA. Yeah. Yeah. So now I love it. This is my. new home now. Good, dude. You're going.

to be touring from here. It's hard to. tour from LA. There's two guys that tour. from LA. It's tough. I will say. What do. you mean it's hard? Well, I mean, you're. flying across the country and you're Oh, no. I don't fly. [ __ ] all that. I'm. going on a tour bus. Oh, okay. So you. when's the last time you flown? Uh when. I came here. When I came here. When I. did sh When I did to the Chicago like. the [ __ ] United Center. We drove. there, bro. That was 30 hours. That was. the worst mistake of my [ __ ] life. That's a far drive. Yeah, bro. I was on. a [ __ ] I'm not trying to be funny. Hold on. Just can I can I finish? Go.

Go. So yeah, man. We drove there and it. was in a sprinter van. Why does he look. like he can't like Are you good? What? Why did you like get away from the. mic and like turn? I'm really listening. Okay, but No, you're not. Like, you was. you was turned away. I have slandy ears, too. Oh, okay. All right. All right. I. had to lean it this way. God, you're. being racist. Oh, my bad. All right. All. right. I like that jacket, by the way. But, uh, no, man. Yeah, it was in a. [ __ ] Sprinter van, and that [ __ ]. sucked. It was 30 hours non-stop. driving. We didn't stop at all. And the. [ __ ] seat belt buckle was poking me.

in my ass. At least I hope it was a seat. belt buckle, right? Never know with. Sprinter vans. But now you're going to. be on a tour bus. Yeah, we did. We did. the tour bus, him and I. Yeah, we did. And don't don't you can't poo. I That's. what I've heard. You can't [ __ ] on the. bus. Yeah, you can't [ __ ] I seen that. in the show. Well, you physically can't. It's also an uncomfortable It's the. bathroom is small. The toilet's against. the door. You can't do it. Yeah, you. cannot do it. Mine's got a pretty big. bathroom in it, though. Really? Yeah. Okay. Cuz ours didn't definitely not. have a big bathroom. We had to put [ __ ].

in the shower cuz we ran out of storage. space. But go ahead and ask the. question. You I I don't want to go. ahead. I can't I can't. Why? The time. passed and it's like it's rude and I. don't like it. What was it? You got to. like it. Yeah. No, I can't. It's It's. gonna It's It the timing. You know how. in comedy there's timing? Yeah. Comedic. time. Yeah. Yeah. It had to be there. I. don't have the confidence to say it. I'm. going to guess. Yeah. As a comedian. Okay, good. I'm going to guess it had. something to do with the flight. Oh, yeah. We can talk about that. Yeah. Yeah. Let's talk about it. It wasn't going to be funny, but I was. just curious.

about when people see you get on the. like scared. I mean, imagine my uncle in Germany, who's bigger than you, have to buy the. whole aisle. The whole aisle? Like the. aisle that people walk down? No, the uh. the row. The whole row? No, you get the. row, right? No, two seats though. Two. seats. Not the row. Okay. Not the row. Good. Not the row. Yeah. Yeah. And they. don't get scared, so that's good. I.

answered my own No, I love it. You have a girlfriend? Uh, we. recently just broke up. Oh, no. You're. free? Yeah, you're free. You broke up. with her, right? How did that happen? Uh, yes. You like the white stuff? Kind. of. It was like a mutual thing. You like. the white stuff. What flavor? Yeah. What. flavor do you like, man? Come on, bro. What flavor? You like vanilla, man. Right now. French vanilla. I bet. Okay. It's not even necessarily white. That's. just my track record is white. I'm.

attracted to all of them, you know, but. it's just like where I shoot for black, but I land at white. You know what I'm. saying? Yeah. Um, you're in LA now guy. I don't really like LA women, man. I. usually uh go outside of LA for the. women. You like Chadzsworth? Chadzsworth? What's that? What do we You. mean surrounding Los Angeles? You mean. out of California as a whole? No, I. usually be like flying [ __ ] out type. [ __ ] You be flying out. Oh, [ __ ]. That's the best way, dog. Yes, sir. Congratulations, player. We got to fly.

these [ __ ] out. Yeah, you got to fly. them out. Are you putting them up first. class? No. No. Coach, right? Coach, baby. Spirit flight. Middle. Spirit. middle. And then what if And what if. they Cuz he likes to He he often not. Sorry. Sometimes Bobby has friends that. fly out. Okay. But but I'm curious to. know, do they stay in a hotel or they. stay at your house? They stay with me, man. What if they say I I want a hotel? Would you get them a hotel? Uh those. ones I usually just go, I don't think. it's going to work out. It's not going. to work out. Yeah. Do you know what? You.

know the signs. He knows the signs. Yeah. You know when they're using you. and No. No, I don't. Now I No, I don't. What do you mean? I don't know when. they're using me. Oh, you don't know. It's hard for me to tell. Sometimes they. do. Do you? Sometimes they do. Yeah. So, you've flown person time. They do. Some. You've flown somebody out and you. realize they were using you. Yes. And. that hurts. That hurts. It hurt cuz she. was living with me. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I. know. I know. Oh, man. But that's. happened. Has it not happened to me a. couple times? Damn. He's gone through. that. And so do they ask for money and. [ __ ] Yeah. And they say, "Will you buy.

me shit?" Yeah. But these ones, man, these are like real trench [ __ ] Do. you know what a trench [ __ ] is? I can. guess. Google trench [ __ ] for me. I. don't think you'll be able to find it. Yeah. Something from like World War II. will pop up if you Oh, that's a song. Who sings that? Oh, black. Black. youngster. Yeah. Yeah. Black youngster. Let's see photos of some trench [ __ ]. Let me read the lyrics, please. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. This is I didn't know this. was a song. I put my life on the line. I'mma break up with you. Don't do it. white. Do it like like they do it. Should sing it together. Yeah. I put my.

life on the line. I'mma break up with. you, ho. It's over. You been. disrespectful. I hope Crazy House come. get you, ho. Pistol by the dresser cuz. I'm sleeping by my pistol, hoe. I don't. tongue wrestle when you speaking on my. bitch's hoe. I can't put I can't put my. [ __ ] before my bro cuz my bro, that's. my bro. But my bro, he got to know. Then. he can't disrespect my hoe. She ain't. just no wait. She ain't just no any hoe. She's some like my mind hoe. Even though. she my side [ __ ] I buy her a range.

Row ver. Wow. Really good. That was. good. That was good. That was Yeah, that. was really good. I like how you did the. rover thing. Let's do And he didn't even. do that. I wrote that for you. Black. youngster. So reach out. Can I see Can I. see a photo of a trench ho? Wait, hold. on. Hold on. The next lyric literally. says trench [ __ ] Trench [ __ ] She. don't give a [ __ ] about rich [ __ ] I. keep my Oh, so you like a trench [ __ ]. This This means she is She's from the. trenches. She's from the streets. The. trenches, right? The trenches. Yeah. She's not used to like luxury lifestyle. Our generation calls them real ones.

Yeah. Yeah. The real ones. Yeah. Anyway, um Well, listen up, Dave Blond. We. You're We got to You got to come back. here. You got to come. We love you. Do. you have any burning questions to ask us. before we wrap up the show? Um anything. that you wanted to say? Well, I do want. to ask, man, you know, when we get in a. new season, Dave. Oh, never. It's over. It's over. It's like, seriously, it's. over? Like, bro, no. No. Like, come on. No, it's done. That was one of the. things. That's one of the requirements. Uh when uh when Hamas returned the.

Israeli hostage All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. Why? That's a true story. No, no, no. When. when when Hamas returned the hostages, they said, "But no more day." And that. was part of the deal. Is it seriously. done? My night. No [ __ ] That's my. favorite. It's done. Yeah. Damn. It kind. of left on like a cliffhanger almost. Yeah. Well, blame Hamas. Blame Hamas. Oh, that's who did it. How come you. didn't give Bobby a role in the show? That's a really interesting That's a. really interesting question and that I.

really never had the answer to. I mean, I can give you the answer. Go ahead. We. really only worked with people that. really kind of were, you know, what? Like legit actors. Show was filled with. really good actors. Gada wasn't even he. had no rules before that. Yeah. No, that's right. I was being facicious. No, you know, I had no control over the. show. I wish I could have got Bob on the. show, but uh he Dave doesn't like me. Dave doesn't like you. That's right. Seriously, just move on. No, dude. No, Hollywood doesn't really work that way. It doesn't work that way. Well, I wish. it did, but if it was my show, clearly.

we're making our own shows together, but. when you're on somebody else's show, you. you guys are having a show together. Yeah, we have a we have a Hulu animated. show. We do. And we have a game, and we. would love to have you in it. Yeah. Hey. Hell yeah, man. [ __ ] Yeah. Let me know. I'm I'm down. You'll play Jerome. I Hell. yeah. No, we'll make him like a pixie or. something. What's the Okay. What is the. animated show about if you guys want to. see? I can't We can't leak it. Okay. Okay. Okay. But but we but we'll I swear. to God we we're going to use you. Dave's. on tour. Go to uh what is it?

Daveblunts.com.co.co. Some bastard. took.com. We got to get that. Oh, we got. to get them. Yeah, we got to get. Davebluns.co. Go to davebluns.co. Uh he's going to be. down there in the Crescent Ballroom. Oh, Phoenix love, dude. House of House of. Blues, Cambridge. Uh he's going to uh. Texas there. A bunch of Texas dates. Atlanta and New York. The Market Hotel. in New York. Well, Dave, do me a big. favor. We appreciate you being on the. show. We end the show by uh you um. saying something that you really feel. deep in your heart to Rudy Jules. Uh if. it's a truth you need to tell her or.

something very powerful. Give her a. powerful message to her. She's young. Yeah. She needs kind of a little bit of. advice. How old is she? She's What are. you? Six. Yeah, she's six. No, she's 20. What? Two? 23. 23. Okay. Um, give her. some life advice that you've learned. Life advice, you know, uh, [ __ ] You. know, you're in your 20s. This is the. time to [ __ ] up and make all the. mistakes. Do drugs. Uh, be in a. relationship that's bad for you. You. know what I'm saying? This is the time. to do it now. Yeah. So, when you're 30,

like you've been through [ __ ] you're. like, "All right, nah, now it's time for. me to, you know, be a good person, citizen, level out." Correct. So, yeah. Yeah. Now, I want you to look in that. camera right there and say, "Thank you. for being a bad friend." Thank you for. being a bad friend. [Music].