KATS and Hey Babe Clap Back | Ep 55 | Bad Friends
hey hey y'all hey y'all we got new merch. available and. we're telling you right now it it we. sell them it's hot. it's hot we sell them quick and we just. love. the fact that you guys like them so. we're going to keep selling them if you. look down in the merch bar right there. or go to bad friends merch. go to badfriendsmerch.com whatever you. need to click i'll go get it also. get it also your boy is going to be in. salt lake city april 8 9 10. wise guys one of my favorites wise guys. and then at the end of april i'm going. to be in uh. addison at the improv so go to my me too.
go to andersontino.com to get those. tickets. and buy some merch down below i thank. you you two are bad. friends who are these two idiots why. dude. i'm an asian dude you two are disgusting. well you two. or something we're bad friends what's. the vote what's a consensus. that you're gay people think that i'm. bisexual someone wrote a son. about it someone wrote a song about it. yeah oh. that's interesting the love song. somebody wrote okay so last week that.
the episode did well. [Music]. a very hot guy oh. [Applause].
continuation from last week bobo is back. from hawaii. [Music]. um bro jeez when i was hawaii i saw this. i saw a couple of that woody allen thing. well what oh the documentary do you.
watch it. no the two movies i saw manhattan. hall how were they really good yeah he's. a great filmmaker people don't realize. he. you know he does slapstick well no he. does. yeah yeah yeah he does um bananas and. sleeper. slap sticky i don't know it's sunni is. his dog he have no. i haven't i don't i have no idea what. you're saying right now let's make it up. oh you want to make it up yeah okay. let's make it up go ahead no wait a. minute the. in the documentary andreas you saw it.
not yet so. did you see the documentary no i didn't. watch it yet i wanted to watch it uh. neil brennan had the best joke he said. it's the worst woody allen movie i've. ever seen. [Laughter]. uh so he adopts this girl from where he. doesn't adopt. he she's already pre-adopted what do you. mean. by me a faro. [Laughter].
she got 50 50 of them she has a body a. discount you know what i mean so she. adopts this girl. she got in bulk she she got jingling. balls she got costco chase. yeah so they came over right named them. you know what i mean yeah you're moses. you know what i mean. moses yeah there's one with with the. with thick the thick glasses his name is. moses is moses. okay i'm old my moses yeah you're moses. give him my real name you know nobody. contains moses now. and then uh and then so suny was already. but she. they [ __ ] up because they adopted suni.
she was the only one that was adopted. later in life. how old was she when they adopted i. don't know like 37 how old was she. seven seven eight okay he he raises her. as his stepdaughter. not really he came in and he's just like. you know at first standoffish a bit you. know what i mean. what do you mean why are you laughing. why are you getting he did raise her. right. am i stupid did he raise her andres i. don't want to say raised because he had. his own apartment he would come by all. the time. hey soon yeah no not maybe.
[Laughter]. in the beginning she was like you know. um. they make her a slave do they make her. made around let me try to. say these words appropriately so that i. don't get in trouble well how could you. get in trouble for if you didn't do this. no because i'm. because i need to i have a i have a. thought about it i'm trying to. so when sh she when she when he first. was dating mia. she was young right and she kind of. looked but as she got older. she she really became taller and more.
attractive. and i think through time you're talking. about soon you became taller and more. attractive yeah yeah i think through. time. you know after three or four years he. came to breakfast one day. and you know she probably gave him. pancakes or whatever and he looked up. and looked at her little you know what i. mean. yeah yeah anyway. you know what i mean but how old was she. when when this started when this. relationship happened. yeah i think i think she was legal.
barely. barely legal 17 maybe at 17. so okay and. then they became lovers. that's not the but that's not the crazy. one what's the crazy one. dylan dylan is the younger one. who was his adopt real adopted one. okay who was white okay you he adopted a. white yeah. okay dylan was white expensive babies. huh. so it cost half a million dollars. from bulk fifty of them thirty eight. seventy five fourteen ninety five yeah.
two payments yeah two people let's do. two easy payments yeah. and um and they just they come over and. you know. in a ship yeah yeah like you know and. when you get a european one it comes in. a plane. right this one comes like nine months. later in the ship yeah the european one. comes a stork is actually carrying it. when you get the asian ones it's like. you have to open up a bunch of packaging. too. you do and then and they're just like. you know they're freeze-dried they're. stuffed. and you put water on them they're freeze.
dries at first you put water on them and. then they yeah. floating in the but um. so wait this dude he adopts me you're in. trouble this is bad. he adopts the white one so he adopts the. white one and then he goes. and you know he she so you know it. always happens where. you know she catches him doing stuff. right right so the one thing that i. think. somebody caught him doing was um having. sex with his step no. no he was doing um teaching her how to.
suck his finger. excu excuse me you know you know what. this is that's because where he comes. from justifies. they're pig-headed misogynistic. bull-headed males isn't that right yeah. where do we where do women belong andres. and the house. oh right that's how he feels yeah and.
the ratings of that documentary in spain. is zero zero yeah because they watch two. minutes everything oh [ __ ] it yeah yeah. yeah. this girl is they're not crazy yeah yeah. yeah yeah yeah so. he he got caught she was like teaching. her to. tongue the tip of his head so gross oh. yeah. so gross right and i'm like pretty gross. and then. he so mia's out of the house because. they had this house in connecticut. he comes over right because it's like a. weekend.
yeah and all the kids are because so. many kids there's like 32 000 kids and. they're so. you know and they have three babysitters. so it's like how do you keep track of. olive oil sure. right and um so he goes to the attic. right you know this right. yeah he goes the attic with um dylan. and oh yeah is it yucky well i don't. know what yucky is. you know i think they're going to the. attic what are they doing up there. they're not looking for christmas. decorations. no the ouija board you know he's. squeezing her tight she's like she's.
squeezing me tight. and he was playing with my naughty. nonstop downstairs. and how old she's what 12. gross. so what's going to happen to him now. that this documentary is out nothing you. gotta fight picture deal. [Laughter]. so yeah yeah universal is like pick i'm. like pick him up no. i well i think you know because he used. to make a movie a year. it's what's interesting he hasn't done. that for a long time yeah but what's. interesting about him is is. that um you know this [ __ ] that like for. instance. one of my favorite i mean if you go to.
my house. you know the woody allen picture i have. in my house do you have you seen that. one. do you know who woody allen is yeah. scoot the mic yeah. no how many we've been doing this for 55. weeks and then mike starts at the end of. the day. he doesn't know wait you don't know who. woody allen is no that's why i'm trying. to look him up well. we'll pull up here on the screen you can. see he he was a filmmaker who made a. bunch of very successful very famous. very. respected films um there he is right. there how does he look okay just bring. up that picture will you click on just. that photo and see how how do you feel. about that guy. uh right there how does that guy make.
you feel jules. does he look like he would adopt an. asian girl and then make her his bride. yeah. yeah okay so i have a woody allen. old school um framed photo of woody. allen. in my house right so when i was watching. the documentary. i called kalila and i go i screamed at i. go flip the. flip the [ __ ] yeah take it down no no. no then take it down. just flip it over and take it down you.
know man yeah. so i was like um i'm a huge woody allen. fan. sure you know i love brad where i did. broadway danny rose i love um. but i love his later ones like uh. husbands and wives crimes and. misdemeanors. but the movie that i loved that i've. seen with kalila before is husbands and. wives. yeah but what's interesting about that. movie is halfway during. that movie right uh-huh um so. mia is like stopping by wood she has. keys to his uh. his apartment and he's not home so he. just comes.
to stop by because she was in the area. and she sees naked photos of. sunni on his drawer like on the top of a. door. but not he's a hustler like. barf what barf okay and. imagine so she's in the middle of she's. the co-star of husbands and wives. and she sees those photos she sees the. photos right she's like this is going to. be a good movie i can't say anything. yeah this is you know that's her. daughter right gross gross right how old. was and the daughter was young.
so she calls she's like you know. confronts him whatever and she goes. i think you need a two week break so. they hold production for two weeks. but then they keep shooting so now if. you watch husbands and wives. you know that somewhere in there wow. right she mia knows get out of town. yeah yeah so i think i want to watch we. watch that movie it just throws it in a. different context. i want to know yeah yeah and we'll how. about we guess how about let's watch him. next week we'll we'll try to guess what. point that she knew we think we should. already i can there's a there's a moment. where she questions because in the.
in she leaves him in the in the movie. yes so there's a moment where she. questions their relationship. and then i hope to think that that's. when well maybe he's just a good. filmmaker and he did that all for the. sake of the film. maybe interesting. you know she's what seventeen yeah she's. got a little. breasts and i'll you know i'll.
i'll just film her you know take photos. of her vagina i'll leave them all over. me. yeah and it'll just give up and then me. yeah we'll. discover them and then and then boom we. got a picture. oscar yeah wow maybe it was d.b. so you've never heard of this man before. will you bring a bring a picture of him. and. suny up so we can all take a look at. there there she is right there right. yeah. oh tough she kind of looks like you bob. oh that's tough man. oh no oh no but she does will you blow. that up just stretch.
stretch out so we can see it bigger. looks like him i do it's me. that's me and you yeah bad friends 2032. if we keep doing this podcast that's you. and me bad friends 2032. guy i didn't know he had a lazy eye i. never noticed that his left eye is lazy. he's like 90 000 years but he he's got. one eye looking at the camera and the. other one looking at soon yeah look at. that he's like don't you go nowhere soon. to get back don't you get back on that. ship yeah yeah don't you get back on and. she's looking kinda at him going i'm not. gonna get back on this [ __ ] yeah yeah. yeah. so all this [ __ ] like in 92 and stuff.
all this stuff comes out. right yeah i remember when it first kind. of became. right and he still after that did movies. with scarlett johansson. and you know he did blue jasmine with. cate blanchett yeah. and he just kept going yeah you know i. think that now. it's like um the culture has completely. changed. totally because look at look at a movie. like manhattan. and also husband husbands and wives. right. he has in manhattan guess who his.
girlfriend is. she's in the movie she's 17 years old. she's under yeah she's a young girl yeah. and he's. 45 or whatever right right right in. [ __ ] um. husbands and wives he's married to me or. pharaoh but he is a teacher. and he has an affair with a 16 year old. student. students at a birthday party or whatever. right right. there's all these themes in his movies. signs you would say one would say. yeah little crumbles yeah yeah. breadcrumbs but you know. when you were watching it back in the.
day you didn't think that why. because now i look at it that's [ __ ]. crazy i think it's culture but. when i saw manhattan i was like. masterpiece well yeah i mean. i mean well yeah beautiful right right. the way it was shot but it's also like. the history of america too right you. think about how. these guys like you talk to like my. grandparents on how their. how people and their generation met. they're like he was 30 and going off to. war. i was nine and he met me at a bus stop. right right it was just like the crazy.
it was okay back in the day yeah like we. were watching these um. we watched the the that we finished the. the egyptian tombs documentary you know. i've seen that one. it's phenomenal we i rewatched some of. it just because i was i wanted to know. it's all right. get real get real it's incredible i've. seen tombs before. it's phenomenal yeah but the two one you. see once you see one tomb you've seen. them all. what a tomb the discovery of the of the. new tombs that doesn't blow your mind. and make it. feel like i'll be honest with you right. now can i say something to you right now. you don't like egyptians no i love. egyptians.
i'm a big omen i've been a fan i have. all these albums i love all. comedy albums oh sure 911 here i am. you know that's one of them 911 again. again. right i'm killing literally um literally. 9 11 one more time. yeah so um no i love egyptians but um. they will discover more tombs in the. future forever and yeah and then you're. good. and they're gonna be the white guy wow. remarkable unbelievable it is. architecture and um wow the way they.
mummify these corpses and the. the the deities the inscribed inside the. walls. are just amazing how many koreans have. they found in we don't do that because. that's right you're better. yeah yeah and you're back to woody. anyway yeah so woody allen. the documentary you know bloom i had to. go get dental work dude i got you rachel. we're gonna have to film. i'm gonna have to get my uh wisdoms. removed oh. i haven't kept them in my whole life you. do they never said i needed them out.
do they hurt now no but they he was like. you we gotta take him out now okay. shifting my teeth now. now my teeth are being pushed i want him. are yours out yeah they've been i have. no teeth well you yours just naturally. fell when i see something it's a drugs. you want to do something. look yeah it's repulsive i can't believe. hong kong. but this is my point it's you know just. the wizard i took take them all out did. you get your wisdom teeth removed. did they do that over there. do you guys have dentists what do they. do over there you know what they do is. they put their head.
going on a slab a rock slab yeah take. another rock. they stick the rock in the mouth right. and they take a little hammer right. right like that you'll fix you fix uh. you have them huh. yeah and it's um yeah they try to make. you take them out at your age because. it's a lot easier apparently it's going. to be more painful and we'll have to get. me. a dentist too is that what you want us. also as well. huh what else do you want nothing yeah. ungrateful. hey hey hey we love rude we love her.
we love rude no but i went to the. dentist and he was like oh man the teeth. thing yadda yadda and it made me. flashback. to when we were watching the egyptian. thing and i'm like these guys still got. all their [ __ ] teeth. 3000 years later they were in pain all. the time good. they weren't paying all the time do you. really think so i never saw the egyptian. thing it's impossible i know you didn't. i know you didn't i could tell i could. tell because you were making it up yeah. yeah but i gave you credit for what is. it good. it's it's honestly it's unbelievable. yeah to watch them discover something. i saw and actually let me just say. something i saw maybe two episodes with. kalila and i was watching i was playing. video games on my phone.
yeah while i was watching it so i. remember them i'm being real. right they discovered this tomb right. it's one guy right he was like a. well there's one guy his whole family is. in there his whole family but it's one. guy's thing and he was like a. he wasn't the king but he was like a um. not a priest but you're something like. he was a priest. yeah yeah he was and um it's beautiful i. saw i swear to god no i can't tell. there's a life. i saw right but at one point i just went. i just kind of went back into my game. and i never went back up.
i get that i've done that because no it. was that uninteresting to me. okay because it's like once they wait. once you see it right. yeah cool oh. how ancient but you're learning how. amazing it is that they discovered. amazing dead this was the first finding. in this episode the first finding. ever ever ever of a lion cub being um. uh uh mummified they've never found a. lion cub and it was incredible to watch. the reaction of these scientists who. spent their entire career dedicated to.
this thing they're like. we've only found cats and people yeah. the egyptians loved cats these. [ __ ] were wild for cats. they found a salamander once did they. yeah. a moment salamander no in egypt right 50. bucks says you uh she doesn't know what. a salamander is. all right 50 bucks egyptian name uh. muhammad. they found this thing muhammad two yeah. and they found these little tiny oh just. listen. and they found his mummified body and. around his body right they had these. little tiny like. rock pots huh right obviously you know.
archaeologists are like what is this. right say you know when they open it up. and there you see. what is that a little salamander. it is gone i died nine thousand. million year ago three thousand who. gives a [ __ ]. you know what the alleges did he went no. yeah and he [ __ ] no. threw it on the ground like i don't give. a [ __ ] that's what he did they used to.
get very mad they used to get buried. with important stuff or stuff that they. wanted to take to the afterlife what. would you get buried with rudy if you. they said you're dying tomorrow we got. to bury you. what are we burying you with my dogs. we have to kill your dogs we're saying. you die not the dogs. morbid yeah you don't well what i would. do just in that case if i was an. edition i'd be like if i pass when when. my dogs eventually pass. put them in there put them in there i i.
wouldn't go if i die. kill everyone else at the same time i. want them all at the same time what do. you want to be buried with bob. i want to be um because they believed. you got to take that whatever that was. into the afterlife. what would you want just be buried then. nothing you wouldn't take anything with. you because i need glass to do my thing. what i'm talking about today if you got. buried today. today i'll tell you what i do today okay. thank you so much for that. thank you so much for that you got it. right you got a kid yeah. what i would do is um i would be. i have to be dressed in like a 1940s.
tuxedo. like a three-piece suit with a top hat. okay not be creole do you want a cane. yeah the whole thing right and i need. you to. um put me in a gigantic jar of. formaldehyde. oh you want to be okay so i want to be. floating. with the with the cane the top hat right. right. and i want little buttons right so if. you like and it'll say like. andrew you know what i mean and you'll. press it you'll come to my you know i. mean. of course i'll come a memorial or.
whatever i'll go what's up dude. that was fun bad friends. that's all you would say all the time we. spent together yeah what's up dude. that's funny because there's. how many people and i know so many. people yeah but you'd have to see so. many buttons you wouldn't give everybody. a button. no i would give it i would give andreas. a button you would give him a button. i would go of course eat it all right. or something like that right i love you. fancy yeah lovely fancy i would give uh. everyone what would kalala's button say.
that would be long. it'd be really sweet and i wouldn't do. that voice either what would your. brother's button be. oh it'd be probably long that would be. long who be the shortest button. who would be who would get granted a. button but be the shortest message. griffin. [Laughter]. if i was in heaven i would love to press. eric right what's up i want to see. him complain then that's all i got bobby.
i know you would do that yeah he would. he'd be so mad what would you. what would you would you i don't know. what i would get buried with i was. thinking that's how you'd be buried i. think if i was going to be buried with. stuff that i want to take to the. afterlife. probably like um a golf club i want to. be able to hit golf balls in the after i. can play. i could play golf in heaven all day. white yeah yeah yeah you just be. your golf club and your confederate flag. you [ __ ] pieces confederate flag. the union jack you mean my number one. flag in my house. people are always like i can't find your.
address i'm saying look for the union. flag on the roof. bro better help. oh andrew better honestly man. therapy has really helped me um is there. something interfering with your. happiness or preventing you from. achieving your goals. yeah there is andrew what is it yeah i. think sometimes i get super low and. depressed especially when you're gone. for a long time and i miss you. and that's a real feeling well that. means you might use better help. it will assess your needs and match you. with your own licensed professional. therapist. i use it kala at back home my girlfriend.
uses it yeah you can start use. communicating with people under for. under in under 48 hours. and it's not a crisis line it's not. self-help it's professional constantly. done securely online tell them maureen. yeah they're committed to facilitating. great therapeutic matches so they make. it easy and free to change counselors if. need be bob and i both use it we do. recommend it very very much it's great. to do from. the comfort of your home which i'm a big. fan of you don't got to go into stuffy. weird office. um and they've helped out so many people. and uh you should be a part of that if. you want to talk to someone about. something. come on over to better help um this.
podcast is sponsored by betterhelp and. bad friends listeners get 10. off their first month at. betterhelp.combadfriends once again. that's betterhelp.com. bad friends hey andrew you know that. credit card yeah i got it that one that. you're afraid to look at. to see what the balance is mm-hmm if. you're if you've been avoiding your. um debt it's time to confront it fine. can help you face it. and finally pay it off yeah you don't. know what's going to come at you last. last year showed us that and if you have. credit cards with unexpected expenses it. can be overwhelming to manage that debt. take control of your debt right now with.
upstart so you know exactly what to. expect. if you got multiple cards tracking that. is really hard balances due dates and. all that stuff. upstart is the fast and easy way to get. a personal loan to pay off. upstart makes things simple with one. monthly payment in one place. that's right they find smarter rates. with trusted partners because they. access more than just your credit score. with a five minute online rate check. you see your rate up front for loans for. one thousand to fifty thousand dollars. upstart finds smarter rates with trusted. partners because they assess. more than just your credit to school.
that's right it's death taking over your. life it's time for a fresh start with. upstart find out how upstart can lower. your monthly payments today when you go. to upstart.com. that's upstart.com bad friends don't. forget to use use our url to let them. know we sent you loan amounts will be. determined based on your credit income. and certain other information providing. your loan application go to upstart.com. do people recognize you in public at all. no yeah like it's she's going back to. school now. oh how school kid is right so she goes. back to school she goes in. she's friends with these two twins you. said yeah you're right they're your. friends. yeah so you were a mask the whole time.
mm-hmm and there's social distancing in. the classrooms. in the classroom but outside no one is. doing it yeah but you're outside. are you doing it yeah uh-huh do they. make fun of you like. look at the [ __ ] phone or wearing a. mask no. they don't they don't no so do they um. so the two twins that you're friends. with. um they're two guys yeah right and you. knew them last year. before the pandemic yeah so when you. came into class. the first time this time what do they. say to you.
these are high. they're not they're not just let it just. just let it this is what i have to deal. with every day no no. just let it what are their names alex. and jonathan. and and which one do you like more. i like both can you tell the difference. between the two no yeah because. alex is shorter and jonathan is also. they're fraternal. yeah and then jonathan has a red hair. and alex says they're not identical. no oh so oh well then that's no fun. that's no fun at all.
then why why do you even hang out with. both of them you just pick the one you. like and then move on yeah with twins. you kind of have to hang out with both. of them usually because you're like. i don't i can't make the other one feel. bad because it's the same guy twice. you know like the sklar brothers which. one do i like more. i don't know i'm not allowed to pick oh. yeah but um. she also been driving my car to school i. know i'm really happy that you're. driving. and tell them what you did today i got. gas and then i paid i paid it but then. when i. oh you paid for the gas yeah and then oh.
i thought it was already full so when i. went back inside the car. it still had two bars. wait a minute you put gas in the car and. how much did you put in money-wise. i i used my card how much did it say you. charged. 49.50 49. only got you two just think about it the. logic of it. think of the logic i'm not understanding. i'll uh let me just.
follow me speak for her she goes to the. car. she gets out she on she puts the thing. in right. she puts a credit card in right yeah. and um there's no way it's 49.50. i'll tell you why the logic of that is. it's oh it's a prius. twenty nine dollars right it's hybrid so. so the 49. was a guy from before guy from before. right so. she said her credit card was never. charged of course not okay so. she has the thing in the thing right. she's in the car now.
i don't know how long she waits probably. 15 minutes 20 30 minutes 20 minutes. right. yeah that's that's how i think she. cheats out how long she thinks it takes. half of. this episode yeah yeah yeah she's in the. car. she goes out she looks at the oh 49. 50. whatever it must be four must be. full what's the. you thinking screws it back out gets in. the car she's driving now. how come two bars oh because um. you got to squeeze the oh you got to. pump the gas actually pump it out i.
did no no did you feel it you can feel. the liquid coming through yeah and i. even saw liquid going out. what do you mean there's no it's not. see-through. it was an apple gas station it was clear. yeah. space gray you didn't see the liquid. coming out. no you didn't you're just your credit. card was not charged. no yeah right no it wasn't charged. you didn't even ring it in you didn't. press the [ __ ] regular did you put it.
out no you didn't which one are the. three buttons low medium or high yeah. or did you do diesel diesel yeah she did. diesel your car is gonna be right. unleaded that's exactly what it is. unleaded yeah did you press on leather. yeah. yeah so what you're telling me is this. you had. ghost gasoline yeah ghost gas that car. is going to run on the hope. you had ghost guys what you're telling. me is this is that we can. sue shell oh yeah we should sue yeah sue. them right for ghost gas. no right so what what do you think the.
logical thing is. that you didn't do it right i didn't do. it right. what i said i didn't do it right so you. have to teach me. this is what i have to deal with but. it's not i taught her how to play. yes we got to teach you how to pump some. gas that's fine what are the things you. need to learn they don't teach you this. kind of stuff i guess. you know because in the philippines.
there's like a worker who does it. right right we have that here in certain. states united states they they pump gas. for you we don't do that here in. california. no yeah no a guy there's always a guy. and does he wash your windows too yeah. how much do you pay him two dollars two. dollars. okay that's a lot for them is it i don't. know i don't know. half a balloon here go get yourself a. balloon. thank you to less than two dollars to to. pump the gas clean the windows. but now you got to worry about all sorts. of stuff what if the tires go flat what.
happens if you get a flat tire do you. know about the have you talked about any. of this stuff. what if a tire goes flat what's going to. happen call. a decalila okay so okay look you're. driving on the freeway. union union and then ty you're starting. what do you do what's the first thing. you do. you slam on the brakes you push on the. gas you slowly push. on the brakes and then you go to the. right side oh someone. took a driving she has a license you. [ __ ] face it doesn't sound like it. apparently get take a phillips don't. catch yourself and [ __ ] feel gas.
that's super important i know they. should they should yeah they should. like what they probably they don't they. don't teach you anything about it they. just teach you how to. follow their arbitrary rules like stop. signs don't stop at stop signs you know. that right you don't have to. you don't have to california it's so. funny because when i'm driving because. she's she just took the classes. everything i do she's like but uncle. tito you're not supposed to what. and it's like i don't you know they're. just suggestions yeah. yeah really for me yeah they're just. saying hey maybe. maybe do this yeah no thanks like all.
the stop signs should have a question. mark. stop no thanks yeah and just keep going. yeah. your friends from another podcast uh. were talking [ __ ] about you guys. these guys weren't getting i heard about. it yeah these guys won't give up i heard. about it. oh i wanted to bring up this to you guys. i don't know if you saw bad friends. uh they were they fired some shots at. you guys it was actually a response to. theo calling out bobby that's creepy it. was a response.
you started the war know how you can. tell he has an eye that just wanders. what about these two douchies are doing. right is that you're trying to provoke a. war with real warriors. right with real warriors yeah yeah. they're trying to provoke a war with. true warriors where yeah you know what. with you know what we're mental. we have mental capacities yeah yeah. here's the thing you and i say we're. stupid all the time yeah we do that as a. fun we go we're dumb and we're not that. smart. oh this is about these two guys yeah. honestly they said two guys. i'm not kidding pound for pound be. united the dumbest people i've ever met.
in my life i doubt that. it was a lot more of the same of that. just just taking shots. and who are these guys i'm sorry. look is it trying are they trying to do. a shitty version of king this thing. pause it what yeah bring up the numbers. who's doing better don't do that don't. do that. we don't want to do that all right stop. i don't want to do that but also yeah. bring out the numbers no.
i understand i understand no we. shouldn't because we know the numbers i. know they're better and it feels good it. feels good bring up the numbers. no but honestly but my point is is that. they're great they are i'll admit one of. these guys. is a great comment um. [Laughter]. you know it's tough to yeah would you. what are you talking about. no but you know what i mean yeah yeah. the numbers are right but who do you. think talk to me.
he's saying that you're a great comic. i'm not i don't know i don't know yeah. yeah. but he's doing this to try to divide us. i know he's strong i know what he's. trying to do mm-hmm i don't care. i think you're a way better comic than i. i think you're one uh play the video. okay that's good yeah by the way good. texture. and what here's the deal with what they. don't realize is that there's nothing. that can. destroy this it's a bond for life yeah. yeah it's so thick and these two. they don't even these two out of work. reality stars go ahead what else. dude look these are great guys you know. i remember. i was there for bobby and bobby doesn't.
like to talk about this. um but when he uh. bobby a lot of people do not know. audition to be in. find it a find it find the line say. china i don't want to get the wrong ease. but i want to say japanese or. korean ease crannies and he it was a. uh what's the group of it's like the. people and they can't they're. kind of smaller and they're getting. older but they they. they're trying to get that lady at the.
diamond mine or something i'm talking. about. uh seven dwarfs seven dwarfs oh so. bobby auditioned to be in that dude and. he was like the. eighth dwarf or something bok choy. uh didn't get it bro and i remember. reading the [ __ ] scripts with him. and his the lines were so easy you know. it was like i'll wake her up you know. just like. basic [ __ ] man this isn't a daniel.
day-lewis. script you're saying and he went in. there and. just bombed it you know just [ __ ]. could not get it right. yeah and um and i was there for him. after that. and so i mean i have like a long history. the history with the other guy um i. because of this i checked out uh your. indb pages just to see. you know who has worked more in it oh. who's worked more. and it's kind of interesting if you guys. want to see i'd love to see it yeah yeah. i love to say thank you i have never.
i've never looked i never looked either. all right okay so let's see let's see. whoa 75 credits there was that who is. that me. yeah that's you and you and he's 15. that's close yeah that's pretty close. what does 75 minus. more things fifth i don't know what vans. because i think he's what are some of. the things. films and a little bit sixty more things. well he's probably done some really big. stuff uh namcar night race official. music video. that's pretty heavy burning man dan.
great movie they should have won an. oscar but he got snubbed i can't believe. they got snubbed they got snobbed. um and uh yeah some other. bangers there's some other bangers oh he. did bad babies movie video that's also. that's actually pretty awesome go up. there that's pretty good oh but look. what it says bad babies music video. child predator pedophile that's what he. played. yeah okay cool cool and then you can see. also. andrew versus brandon yeah. okay let's see i did how many things 30. things pretty good.
one. [Laughter]. one thing that's very funny but the one. thing he did was great it was phenomenal. yeah what was it. fighter in the kitchen 3d. anyway these guys are we love those. they're up and coming they're on their. way they're not going to. so just let them let a couple more years. and then they may. one day get to our level it'll pop they. might get to our level it'll pop yeah. yeah it'll pop. they're very good dudes we we love them. both shout out to uh. johnny schwab and jason to uh.
schwab and bomb schwab schwab we love. those dudes man what else they got to. say you want to see the rest of whatever. they got to say. not really but let's keep going by the. way let's make it known again they. started this [ __ ]. we didn't come with them yeah it's but. you know what it it because. you know we got a lot of people that are. trying to start [ __ ] with us including. uh chrissy chaos and uh and sal volcano. over there. yeah they sent us a bag of [ __ ] and we. have our retaliation on the table. you know what we were going to do to. them right we decided as a group.
that we want to give them a little slice. of home a little spice of life yeah. so we've got some buzzers i've got my. trimmer here i think we give them a bag. of our pubes what do you say kiddo i. have a lot of pews right now. i'd love to shave him all right rudy you. got to leave the room for this. inappropriate bit that we're about to do. obviously love to shave them. so please get out of the room rudy yeah. we're shaving pubes now. yeah obviously insane get out all right. me can you okay come on in here and. bring it where are the shavers do you. even know who this is by the way. he's great do you know his name randy. john randy yeah you think his name's.
randy yeah he's the best it's the. funniest thing i've ever heard in my. entire life. yeah all right so how can we make sure. we get this in the bag how do we get in. the bag. hand you put it on the table you put it. in your hands. how i'll show you all right let's show. well no no you got to open the you got. to open the bag first somehow. no you put it on the table you scoop it. up in the bag and then you shuffle it in. the bag. good call let's okay go ahead you go. let's uh should we do at the same time. hold on hold on we should do the same. time bob hold on. yeah all right hold on bob hold on. please close your eyes rudy don't go. rude are you not allowed to look.
all right look at all my look at all. harry oh my god look at i've never seen. orange pubes like that before i hate it. it's a lot right. okay we should mix the orange and the. black in one bag oh you're right that's. funny. yeah that way they get it together. because we are that's we're we're a unit.
great gross. so many pubes it hurts. okay all right so um. cubes everywhere let's do this as a. ritual. this is an old there's an old korean. ritual yeah. you eat one little hair i eat what if. you one of your hairs what ritual is. that it's a korean wood ritual is it. really. cause i feel like i've never heard of. that before so i eat one of one of your.
hairs. it's it'll bond us for life i have to. eat one of your pubes and you have to. eat one of mine yeah yeah. and we have to stick it see it see it on. the tongue. i'll go first okay all right. look at the fluff there there's all my. pubes on my phone. oh dude please this is that's a lot. honest. this looks like um don't do muppet hair. please don't do it it looks like muppet. don't do it don't do it. oh my god.
how does it taste go ahead. get some. look at how long that one is yeah yeah. stick in your mouth. stick it in your mouth no stick it in. your mouth no i didn't see you do it. it didn't no you threw you threw it away. dude i put in my mouth that's [ __ ]. [ __ ]. i'll give you a piece i'll give you a. piece no. no yes no man dude no. yeah i have to see it cause you know.
what no give me your mouth no look at. how many pubes that is i won't put it. all there you didn't put any in your. mouth. this is like first coming in it's like. what first got me in here. okay no that's so many put your right. [ __ ] hand the camera's on dude don't. get [ __ ] ticked. all right let's mix them together here. we go um i'll just do it in my bag. okay yeah and send your bag over to me. so we're gonna give those guys a gift. oh my gosh.
oh my god i know i shaved so close. i don't have a lot here huh i've got a. ton i told you i was growing for a while. yeah yeah. what was that gonna do that's not that's. we should put [ __ ] in and come. okay i'll do whatever you want to do bud. it's a lot a lot of poops coming out of. me. okay let's get this off the desk.
though go ahead hello fresh hey man. if you eat food and bobby and i both eat. food let me tell you something and you. don't want to go get it you can get it. delivered to you. come on before i went on my last trip we. had hello fresh at the house and we had. one of their hamburgers. it was so damn good dude yeah it's so. good tell them more about it i'm. surprised at how easy these things are. to make honestly it's it's very simple. they cut out stressful meal planning and. grocery store trips for you you can. enjoy cooking at the house. uh they have 10 to 20 minute meals low. prep recipes i'm telling you i'm so dumb.
with cooking i've watched. a thousand hours of cooking shows i. don't know how to make anything but it's. so easy because it's step by step with. them. with twenty five twenty five recipes to. choose from each week. yeah and there's something for everyone. like there's there's i bet you money. there's. you'll find something oh my god all. recipes are designed. and tested by professional chefs and. nutritional experts to ensure. deliciousness. and simplicity over four out of five. hello fresh customers say that. hellofresh helps them lead a healthier. lifestyle and it does low calorie they. got they got carb smart. vegetarian options i've tried them all i.
really do like them all. and hello fresh is 20 cheaper than. shopping at your grocery store they did. the math. you can easily change your delivery days. or food preferences and skip a week if. you need to skip a week. uh it's totally worth it we both love. hello i really do. keep asking them to send me more and. these these guys won't send me more. because they i think. george takes some of them because i want. them yeah because i don't want to shop. um go to hellofresh.com bad friends 12. and use the code bad friends 12 for 12. free meals including free shipping 12. free meals guys what are you waiting for.
that's insane go to hellofresh.com slash. bad friends 12 and use that promo code. bad friends 12. for 12 free meals including free. shipping. episodes episode is sponsored by. bluetooth say it with us. i'll tell you how it's spelled how is it. b-l-u-e-c-h-e-w. they're making waves they're bringing. more confidence to the bedroom by. offering chewable tablets that can help. you get stronger and longer-lasting. erections i know my erections are like. so long dude. how long they're like um it's not it. doesn't improve your length it just. proves the length of time you know that.
right. it's just length i know but it feels. long it feels probably a little bit. longer longer you know. especially if you trim the blue zhu is a. unique online service that delivers the. same. active ingredients as viagra in cialis. but in chewable form and at a fraction. of the cost yeah their tablets helped. men achieve harder stronger erections to. combat all the forms of ed that's. erectile dysfunction it's an online. prescription service no visit to the. doctor's office. no awkward conversations no waiting in. line to the pharmacy it goes to your. door in a degree package. they are great bobo's bubbles use them.
on the frequent i've used them a few. times but i'm pretty strong the red. rocket. gets a lot of fuel down there if you. don't like swallowing pills no problem. they got the chewables baby. their licensed medical providers provide. you with the uh right ingredient. strength for your prescription. they're made in the usa which bob loves. and they ship directly i love america. red white and. red red white and blue baby it's cheaper. than a pharmacy uh. so uh you can benefit from extra. confidence it's time to perform. use bluetooth visit bluetooth.com for. more details and safety information we. got a special deal. try bluetooth free when you use promo.
code bad friends. at checkout just pay five bucks for. shipping that's bluetooth.com promo code. to receive first month free and we thank. bluetooth for sponsoring the pod. what do you think about this you think. we came from monkeys oh yeah you do. oh yeah how long how many years billions. billions of years we were then why are. monkeys still around because they're. starting to. evolve as well and so how long well how. long will it take them a billion years. and then what will we have another human. species and then we will evolve into. something else.
what do you think we're going to involve. well i think like our our like. our thumbs will not be there anymore. yeah yeah i mean. i think that eventually we're going to. have like controls. we'll be half cyborg for sure half. cyborg yeah yeah because we're going to. start putting they're going to start. putting stuff in our bodies like. nano nano nano technology. no bots you believe that yeah we'll have. like our credit cards and you know. you know all our information stored in. our body within chips. i don't i don't like that chip so then.
when we walk by you know. we get we go to cvs right there'll be no. no transactions. yeah man but then it'll go you know zero. what was the name of that movie uh. justin timberlake was in it were you. like traded lifeline numbers what was. that called. time time yeah but it'll be it'll be. something like that so then you'll get. robbed people stick a b like give me. your arm and then you'll they'll. they'll grab you for your chip no you. don't think that's a possibility. no because i think inevitably it'll be. like star trek where we will have no. crime.
you think in the future there's not. gonna be any crime i don't think there's. gonna be need for. um money what's gonna replace money. our our quest for knowledge and growth. what are you talking about i if you. would have said digital money i would. have made more sense but. like bitcoin and stuff yeah eventually. we will evolve as a species. yeah and we will have no need for the. things that. even sex we won't have need for that's. insane it's an it's an innate human. being we will evolve above it you think. we'll go beyond sex.
yeah that will just have babies how just. by. just by artificial insemination yeah. through technology machines machines. we'll take an egg they'll take the sperm. they'll put it outside of the body yeah. yeah it'll happen. quickly wow you're able to grow a baby. in like two weeks well you know you can. already. pick the baby you can pick like the. what's that look that up what's that. called you can pick like. the genetic you can pick the genetics of. the baby you can choose like eye color. now. you can go into like all sorts of crazy. specifics yeah for millions of dollars. you can pick what your baby's gonna look. like. would you do that no you want to gamble.
you want to roll the dice no i'll tell. you why because. you know there are things about me that. to the lay person or you know an outside. observer will go. that's not good or you know i mean i. don't like that or right. that way i don't like the way that looks. or i don't like how that human is. behaving. but to me there are specific you know. bobby lee. traits that are my my own yeah right. and i i would love to pass if me and.
kalila had a baby. i would love to see what our mixtures. would do right. and maybe our kid will definitely be. sensitive and [ __ ] up. and wild right or the opposite you don't. know we don't know. right it could have take taken out you. know maybe more like my dad. more withdrawn yeah i don't i don't know. with kalila but whatever it is. you know our kid will be um our kid and. it'll be interesting the mistakes will. be worth it. i think so man yeah i think that um you.
know i've been watching a lot of baby. videos. on youtube what do you mean just like. baby goofy yeah like but baby is like. farting or laughing and stuff like that. yeah i mean because your baby hungry. right now i'm not baby hungry i just. been you know i was. looking at dogs dogs and babies one of. the same well i was look at dogs and. then you know how you. you look at dogs for a while and then. all of a sudden. you know they'll suggest a baby one. that's what i mean like baby yeah. and all of a sudden you know 15 hours. later you're. looking at aliens you know what i mean. right you know i mean conspiracy. theories yeah aliens.
built the pyramids and then you watch. tombs again so but. um you've been watching a lot of baby. videos and i kind of go. i think that's interesting and i think i. want to. try you want to make one [ __ ] yeah man. you do. yeah kalila was on my show when we. talked about i don't know what i don't. want that's because i'm talking about. you guys making a baby. what'd she say she's not into it. i know she's not no she is maybe she is. no could we talk about it. i don't she's sometimes she's in.
sometimes she's sometimes she's out. sometimes she feels like a nut sometimes. you don't. um you don't like babies at all right. jules no i don't would you like our baby. no i'll be i'll be kind. i'll be kind kind said the serial killer. i'll be kind would you so you won't like. love it no. i will care but i'll still hate babies. so interesting what is it about babies. you don't like you don't like their. little [ __ ] head they're big heads or. you don't like the way they cry or what.
is it. i don't like everything about them you. don't like anything about them. like there's no there's nothing cute. about them i'll tell you why because she. was the oldest. in her clan right and she doesn't want. she had she had to raise. little ones yeah it's annoying and she. was much older right. me yeah yeah like your two brothers like. your youngest brother how old is he. six six so you were like what you were. 12 when they were born yeah 12.
yeah 12. so it's like you know so she's. like and then her. mom's working her dad so she's like can. you look after and then you know. this is a 12 year old you got your. childhood taken away from you yeah yeah. that's why well that's that's why you. hate kids yeah yeah god the way that we. can damage kids is so sad. just by making them be babysitters huh. yeah it's like it's little things it's. like you know. i would have to take a course on how to. raise a kid. yeah what not to do yeah because look.
everyone's gonna make mistakes but you. still live the life of a teenage boy so. it's it would be tough for you. like a baby schedule you play video. games from from from. bro bro bro bro. bro first of all yeah. if i knew a baby was coming i would do. some. you know internal you know voyages. within myself. in what regard in terms of like um you. stopped drinking red bulls start smoking. stop playing video games. certain things that i would have to. change what would you change.
[ __ ] man i would um. i would only i'd only play video games. during the day don't believe it. okay i'm just telling you okay i would. no more red bull. you'd quit red bull i would drink just. coffee like black coffee i. drink black coffee at home do i not. right and complete smoking. completely forever you'd stop smoking. 100 percent like that 100 percent faith. documentary about the the murder of the.
mormon mormons. we didn't watch it we were going to. watch it last night all these things i. want to talk to you i saw it yeah but we. can't give away anything that people. haven't seen yet. what if they haven't seen it yeah it was. [ __ ] crazy. mormons have always been that secret but. this is different. this is some this guy do we have water i. have a pube in my throat. yeah we need some water i have like i. like. orange cubes in my mouth tell me about. the tell me about the mormons. the documentary is about mormon.
artifacts. thank you thank you i mean like um. wash down these pubes real fast maybe. two. like old mormon literature documents. mormon the mormon thing was found right. didn't he find it in a hat. isn't that what it was no man joseph. smith smith. the there was a moroni or whatever the. [ __ ] god came down a [ __ ] eye. that's his name moroni here comes moroni. moroni. i am moroni i am moroni right and joseph. sleep was sleeping in the cabin.
i don't know exactly what it about i. think this is happening i think i'm. right there's a glow through the window. right right. and i think [ __ ] i stuck his hand. through the window and did like a little. wake up yeah yeah that's what you do. when you're a spirit. hey you can't just show up you got to. put a hand through something and go hey. right so just you know when you see a. spiritual hand through your cabin window. yeah you get a little scared i'm sorry. it's happened to me three times. right especially from a nap big time. you're like what the [ __ ] right. oh a spirit yeah yeah a spirit right but.
then you realize oh it's moroni. right so then um so joseph smith walked. out of the. thing and mourinho was standing there. and going well hey hey. yeah i mean i'm moroni right [ __ ]. moroni whatever and joseph smith is. probably i mean if that happened you'd. be. urinating yourself you pissed yourself a. little bit and you're trying to act cool. because it's god. hey god yeah yeah but you're really. peeing have you pissed yourself. yeah you would know though right i i did. right and he goes hey. check this out and they go into the. forest now i i for me.
you know if [ __ ] and i said coming for. i would have to ask. what are we doing first because i'm not. going in there we could always do it in. my kitchen. yeah right you're already hung yeah. where are we going but moroni he's. noble yeah but joseph's the ding-dong so. yeah he's like right so he went in there. and i guess bora and i took a shovel. yes because i guess they had shovels. back then right yeah of course they. shovel. yeah and you start digging yeah and.
obviously jones is like am i gonna die. are you gonna bury me or whatever. and then there was these golden tablets. tablets yeah. do you remember those yeah they were. buried they're buried yeah and he goes. this is you know what i mean was left. out of the bible. you know what i mean i forgot to put. this in the bible it fell out right. god was rushing and he's like put the. binding the bible together right and i. freaking forgot he's like. oh there's four pages in my office yeah. yeah that's what happened yeah. and he also thousands of years later. decided well he just remembered.
oh you think that's what it is well god. was sitting around with a friend and he. was having a conversation yeah yeah. and he was talking and he was like well. you know he had he you know he had a. house clipper. keeper cleaning his office yeah right. and underneath the couch four pages. gone god what are these four pages i. suck up your pages. he's mexican anymore they have to be i. suck up your pages god. yeah yeah and so what happened esmeralda. yeah yeah yeah i suck up the four pages. yeah i think the bible and then he went.
whoa whoa whoa what the [ __ ]. god you probably did holy [ __ ] he's. freaking out. because he's already they've already. published it's down there it's down. there they've. read it a hundred thousands of years. yeah you go wow. [ __ ] that right here and then he and he. goes what do i do. just moroni that's what he said. mourinho is like yeah spot yeah yeah. what do you need you gotta go down. to earth yeah oh boy okay. and uh yeah i'll make these gold.
it'll be heavy god i'll just take the. sheets if you don't mind. right the regular paper makes it hard. for you okay i'll take gold right. so then he goes send him down there and. he probably because if i was god. i would be like go to new york. right yeah i wouldn't go go to utah utah. right in the middle of the [ __ ] you. know what i mean first of all you'd. place it. somewhere uh uh uh holy god would have. been like go to the vatican. right where the pope is sleeping and put.
it atop the his house. he would have the pope or go to the you. would go to the pope yeah. you wouldn't you just don't need to joke. and go bury it. i mean i imagine moroni goes down that's. what it was he was supposed to go to. vatican city to the pope and moroni. comes down here the goofball that he is. and he forgets where he's going they. didn't have google maps no how does he. know they have google maps. yeah no map quest he doesn't print out. directions he's i guess this is it. he looks like he's in the middle of the. [ __ ] forest in utah. in one cabin he probably wasn't even. supposed to see joseph. of course not yeah yeah of course not.
and joseph that guy. is the guy i was trying you know i mean. joseph was sleeping joseph benson. they're picking his nose jacking off in. a [ __ ] cabin. right and he goes come with me to the. forest yeah so he goes out there and so. um. there's pubes on my mic i know me too. it's i still have pubes in my mouth me. too yeah it's. very but um. and it's so i had one pube between my. teeth i think and i wet it. no it's not i wet it now it's no it's a. white noodle it's a noodle. it's a noodle orange pube in my mouth.
but so then um they go to the force and. he says. so this is and he goes and you can make. another book with these pages. he's like what i got but yeah also it's. like i'm playing chess with my wife. i got [ __ ] going on you know man got a. whole thing planned yeah and then he's. like. yeah this is called this the book of. mormon because. moroni is that why that's right okay and. so then. i guess that's how the church was. started that's exactly right. right and then um so what the. documentary is about.
is um i guess in the beginning of the. church there were. a lot of documents because back when. you're starting a religion now you got. to keep tabs. you got to write [ __ ] you got to write. it all down right so there were some. ladders written. you know what i mean and um. they the documentary is about this one. guy. mark hoffman love the name yeah who. he at an early age discovered. one of the earliest documents right of. mormon literature.
right and um i have to give away the. show okay. spoiler alert if you haven't seen the. documentary then look away it's not. interesting. skip skip skip skip skip and it'll be. time coded below you'll see you want to. go to the next. yeah yeah okay go ahead but it's also. something that was. also world famous that so it was no it's. known. it was known so this guy discovers that. he's he's. and then all of a sudden he discovers. like all even stuff that has nothing to. do with mormon um. um literature or or or history what is.
just like american history [ __ ] you mean. like. you know a letter from john adams is. something right cool and he's discarded. he goes to flies in new york goes all. over the. country and he's disgus that's what he's. a treasure hunter where is he finding. all this [ __ ]. like he go to he goes to libraries he he. looks things up like you know i mean. and he goes and but at the end of the. day. and he sells [ __ ] like he sells you know. you know. so the first one was a letter from. joseph smith's wife to somebody wife to.
somebody and it says in the letter. that there was no moroni it was a white. salamander. what what yeah bring up a picture of a. white salamander so i can see what he's. talking about. so a white salamander showed up at jo. i'm not kidding. that's what moroni looks like no that. wasn't moroni no so the letter goes you. know it wasn't [ __ ] it was actually a. white salamander. very cute by the way very cute who like. very cute very cute unbelievable again. led joseph smith to the the tablets by.
the way i'm going with that thing in the. woods. yeah yeah yeah going right to the woods. yeah if that little thing is like hey. come to the woods. yeah yeah i guess i'm going to the. [ __ ] woods yeah also what are you. doing out of the water and how long can. you be out of the water yeah yeah that. would be concerning. yeah how long can you be out of the. water well i would have a bucket. right hold on hold on i would get like. you know my you know. passani water purified water like really. good [ __ ] pasani. yeah or fiji or whatever and put in a. nice you know me clean. that would stick i put little rocks in. their leaves no nice white celery.
just let me know you know a point and. he'd be like that way so he. in the letter it says a a white. salamander. led him to write the tablets. which destroys all of your means sure. the mormons you know thinking about how. it started in the first place they think. of salamanders. it throws everything off right right so. you know and then so the mormon church. bought it now they're like okay no no. they wanted a bite to hide it. right we can't get let that [ __ ] out. there yeah man they'll find out that.
right because moroni is our guy we have. statues. we built a lot yeah we built a lot from. iran so that he would do. he discovered all these letters and you. know you know and let me guess. what they killed him no. they had him killed no no he did blow up. in a car. so they had him killed no. bobby he blew up in a car how do you. think that cars don't just blow up all. the time. this isn't casino i'm telling you can i. tell you what it is then yeah leak it.
spoiler alert all over the [ __ ] place. well then i won't tell you you're asking. me. i'm saying to them i'm listening to you. man. people are listening he all of it. in fact the salamander lender letter. went to the fbi. it was fake the fbi looked at it. authentic it's fake he's. the he's the greatest forger. to ever live on planet earth wow what. year was this in the 80s. yeah but the technology was whack back. then we didn't have a forensic scientist.
science either it doesn't matter. for the fbi to look at a letter and go. this is legit from you know what i mean. yeah. look at some of the letters look at some. of the letters show me some salamander. letter where's the salamander letter. wow that's what he forged stretch that. out baby and what he would do is this. dude. yeah the white salamander letter. so what he would do is he would take you. know paper. and age it but he not only would the age. it he would write the letter right. he would take a suctioner on the other. side of the thing.
to suck because i guess when ink bleeds. ink bleeds through time. so he sucks all the ink into the page. right. he puts chemicals on it dries right he. puts. he puts he made this um jar where he lit. smoke so the letter would get smoke. wow and he would do it it would take. months. to create one of these masterpieces sure. and there was no way to differentiate. that's art right and people went all by. that.
they they were gonna buy one that was. 1.5 million dollars. so what happened was one guy was on to. him or whatever. so he sent him a package blew him up. there's another guy his buddy he blew up. and then the next day he goes oh i think. they're all pointing at me that i blew. these guys up. they died right so i'll just kill myself. so he. who was this guy that did all the. killing hoffman. right the guy that does the forge ring. he he killed all these other guys yeah. because they think they're on to him on. to him and then he kills himself the.
next day he. but he doesn't die he blows up in a car. he's so good at this but he can't kill. himself yeah right. and then he's on the sidewalk he's on. fire. right he's everything's gone right. he's just right and he's alive they. saved this guy. yes people came out it's half man you. know what i mean you know what i mean. hoffman's on fire. fire right and then he wakes up in in in. the hospital. right yeah and um he's still alive now. wow where is he is he in prison yeah no.
he's [ __ ] hawaii. well some of these guys they got away. from whitey bulger was living in venice. no but he um yeah it's an amazing. documentary. is he wow yeah it's he had everyone full. and he's. he was he did it he as a kid would do. [ __ ] like that. ford stuff no he loved pranking people. oh this is a long prank that's a good. bit. yeah and he always just said like mtv's. historic pranks.
yeah so it was like um who would host. that [ __ ]. he's he's the best at whatever that is. also andrew you have that prank called. you did to the. video store oh let's hear it. hey is this the video store yes cool so. i'm sitting here with my buddy and we're. having a conversation about some of the. greatest movies ever made. okay and this [ __ ] guy is talking. about. the movie elf you ever seen this movie.
elf the movie. l it's the christmas movie [ __ ] will. ferrell. yeah okay okay yeah yeah i've seen that. yeah this [ __ ] guy said that. elf is better than enter the dragon i'm. gonna put this [ __ ] on the phone. elf is phenomenal oh my god don't even. please please whatever that that's some. [ __ ]. excuse my french i'm sorry it's not. not even the case no it's unique. memorable lines great film. it's incredible no i'm not gonna say.
it's not a bad it's it's not a. terrible movie right but you can't. compare to any two one of these martial. arts. what your body just said man it's no. comparison to me. you can only compare it on a technical. level it's a [ __ ] christmas movie. exactly i watch this stuff for christmas. like without karate moves you can watch. it year round. exactly you know yeah. elf is the illest [ __ ] yes yes. that's exactly it's funny but but like i. said it's no comparison to a martial. arts movie. even like for example it man man one.
it meant two it meant three four as. no comparison man elf is better i i'm. sorry i cannot even. justify that really i mean i even. brought up mean streets one of the. greatest movies of all time. this [ __ ] guy still says elf is. better over mean streets. oh my good thank you thank you thank you. well. i don't like mean streets i love elf. [Laughter].
something else that you think will beat. out as far as martial arts. yeah okay okay martial arts right now. i might say into the dragon china's. connection. five things are definitely hitman four. hit men one. um crotch and tiger hidden dragon i'll. keep going on and on man. oh that's tough um that's very tough. i'm gonna go with of course. elf shogun assassin. elf is better that's the killer elf is.
better. fist of the white lotus three evil. masters. elf is better the extensive knowledge. that that guy has of kung fu movies i. don't agree with him either though. somebody cut that up that was really. good that guy that cut that up and used. my voigt. well that's not real are you out of your. mind that's a fan of ours used that clip. of the argument we had about elf. episode many episodes ago. he cut my voice up that's usually one of. those machines whoa.
yeah that's not me that's a fan using. like that's really good. it's also very scary they can cut us up. to say anything that is pretty scary. think about the [ __ ] that we say on the. show another guy though that calls. he's the fan he calls the video store. and he pretends to be my buddy sitting. in the same room with me using our voice. shout out to fart simpson as far as we. know yeah yeah yeah no he took my voice. and clipped it up from when we got out. of here. i really enjoyed it when are you going. to uh hungary. are you excited can we tell the fans. that you're going to budapest. yeah i mean i guess you can say that i'm. going to budapest i just i'm a little.
bobby's going to shoot a movie for three. weeks or four weeks. five weeks wow five weeks yeah. maybe that'll be the end of the show i'm. nervous about it i'm really nervous. about it. why are you nervous because you know. it's like i i. don't know it's because i don't really. are the girls coming. no uh collar will mid trip yeah but it's. like. it's you know i'm i'm never invited to. do. big things this is huge it's a huge. movie. and i have a small obviously like you.
know it's as small as what i did in. harold and kumar who cares who cares. right. but it's like um there is an excitement. but there's also a little of. unknown factor of like yeah i mean what. is. you know because i've been on uh two. times. because i was in um that was a big movie. set was the dictator and i also. was in um um pineapple express yeah. pretty big. you know mean so huge movies huge movies. and um. it's just a different you know thing and. then i thought i was kind of out of the.
game. for many many years just doing you know. my own thing with you and all this stuff. it felt good but then now. i get invited to this thing so it's. exciting i guess it's going to be huge. but yeah. that's going to be such a bit such a are. you proud of tito bobby she doesn't give. a [ __ ] i don't care what she says. are you proud jules yeah i am she's. proud of you yeah. she's never seen anything i've done. that's not true she has. we talked about it look at her face. she's never seen anything i've done i've. seen. splitting up together that's a good show.
[ __ ] you wait a minute it was a good. show yeah yes you did it got canceled. but it was a good show yeah. didn't deserve to be i'll tell you that. did not deserve to be. i'm on my sixth month of filming dave a. lot of fans say why do i say davey. because you say that yeah um i'm gonna. stay honest with you i've never seen. dave. said the right way just now fine right. yeah i don't know but. you know from the clips i've seen clips. it's. a funny looking show not being real be. on i'm being honest with you okay and. i've seen. ads with you in it yeah like advertising.
with you in it right. okay you look great in it and give you a. compliment man thanks. and did you have to audition for that. they they uh they did they ran me. through a big a big rigma role. i don't think you auditioned i did did. you audition for it. i did no you didn't i had to do. chemistry reads with dave yeah but you. didn't audition for it. same thing i do chemistry with dave this. is okay i just want to let everyone. know what this is this is okay most. people. i had to audition shut the [ __ ] up man.
it's insane it's not insane i had to. audition let me. finish what i'm saying can i get my. podcast too stop acknowledging me and. get through it then go. i will okay so most people you know your. average actor. they call their agent and they go hey. is there anything right and they're. asian cars hey baby i'm on the. i'm out of my uh gulfstream jet right. now i don't know there's nothing. nothing down on earth right good luck. and then they hang up on them.
right yeah but some people um they go. hey they really fx really wants you for. this thing but obviously. you have to do a chemistry read with the. lead. right they already saw 2 300 people for. the part. to stop don't shake your head again and. if you roll your eyes i'll gouge them. out. all right we'll gouge them out right. they're gonna. chemistry you right and who um. seth green probably right.
it's always like two big names you and. seth green either one of you will get it. come and read you show. up they have [ __ ] cappuccinos yeah. right you don't sign up. no you go and you talk you talk shop. whatever you want to put it on the feed. you know you're also in a beautiful like. rehearsal hall it's not like. a little office no i did mine in a. little [ __ ] cube and so. they go and then you show up and you go. no let me finish my cappuccino and then. we'll do it. yeah right so you drink your cappuccino. you gotta go take a phone call real fast.
right and then um you do it and it's. like. after you're done you know everyone. laughs you know you know it's like one. of those things where. when people audition they go the. customer goes all right thank you and. you kind of leave but what he does is. they after they do they take the ah they. laugh right i go man you improvised that. right line you impressed that like that. was great man it was good. we were in sync let's do it again let's. try this one i mean and they they work. on it yeah for about an hour for about. an hour right and. when you audition you have to park on. the street. 15 miles away right and then you have to.
go through 15 gates just let me finish. all right yeah. 15 gates right and you have the show id. and then it's like then you show up in a. [ __ ]. hallway with 50 people you sign your. name you have to wait for three hours. and then you go into a little office but. for his thing chemistry reading right. he gets to drive on the lot did you. drive on. did you drive on did you drive on. no yeah you did he drives on he has have. his name. on a [ __ ] [ __ ] thing right you. park right.
you probably have a room at first of all. i had a driver so i didn't drive. all right my point is is that it's a. little different. it's a little different but i know i had. to audition for the show that's not. auditioning. i didn't do the it's not like the oh it. was it was anyway um thank you for being. a bad friend. [Laughter]. thank you for being a bad friend. [Music].
as we're literally descending into lax. right these flight attendants are all. strapped in right. and in my mind i'm like i'm counting i'm. like. i i don't feel i i just kind of. calculated in my mind. right of my body i go yeah there's. i can't there's no way i'm never gonna. make it never gonna make it have a good. job. get up right yeah and then the. stewardess go. sit down sit down we're just sending and.
i. turn to first class diarrhea. i don't know what else to say right i'm. in the [ __ ] plane right. yeah i i pulled out my pants right a. jackson pollock painting. right i i've never been on in the. bathroom. landing have you ever done that no oh. you feel so guilty but how cool is it. it's cool. and also you don't need a seat belt i. was able to do it yeah yeah i was well.
had my pants down right i was [ __ ]. all over the place right but i was. shooting all over the place right. and and then i get out right and then i. had to go to the. stuart everyone and go i'm sorry i just. i don't feel well. and they're like it happened sir but sir. don't ever do that again. [Music].
