Just Date Me, Please! | Ep 195 | Bad Friends

merch we got merch and check this hat. out I've been wearing on stage have you. seen me look at this dude look at this. shirt this is the OG shirt the OG OG. design is back Y and also bad friends on. the back in the back the cute little. faces on the front bad friends on the. back go to badf friends merch.com we. also have coffee mugs for people that. like coffee and beautiful beanies and. and a couple different colors but go get. some OG merch we're releasing new stuff. as we go Bob and I are in a competition. to see who can design the best shirt but. for now you want the OG original stuff. happy Holidays happy holidays get this. for someone that you love go to badri. merch.com badf friends merch.com you two.

are bad friends who are these two idiots. a white dude and an Asian dude you two. are. disgusting you two are something we're. bad friends we walked in the studio here. we go we did a couple spots Bob and I. did a back toback spot at the store and. uh then we walked in the studio and mcon. tried to make up for all his blunders by. getting Bobby in and out that's very. nice but what did you forget what you. forget M fries yeah french fries the.

quintessential pairing the. quintessential pairings the. quintessential prings I guess yeah a. burger and fries peanut butter and jelly. right yeah yeah what don't you. understand about. that I don't think I've ever gotten a. cheeseburger without fries Freddy AIDS. Freddy Mercury Freddy Mercury and AIDS. these two things go hand in hand Magic. Johnson. AIDS yeah yeah Easy E AIDS next time I'm.

in an In-N-Out I'll think about Easy E. Anda I'm sorry next time you're in the. order and they say welcome to In-N-Out. how can I help you what would you like. some. mates welcome in and out how can I help. you what would you like a double double. with regular onions and fries and a coke. diet coke please okay a double double. with eights coming right up window two. see they'll know they'll know they'll. automatically. know and I'm not I'm not making fun of. people with that disease it's terrible. no we're saying the two things that go.

together yeah they do come to go. together it's terrible. disease well a burger was a very nice. gesture thank you but a burger without. fries seems worthless to me but did you. see what I did mm you call me you I'm. just leaving the store I said I was at. 7-Eleven you go get me some snacks get. me some snacks well I said please what'. I do though you got me seven different. things to choose from see that's how you. do it that's what friendship is that's. what love is that's what family is and. you don't do that you don't complete it.

yeah like when I play a video game I. need to complete all the objectives yeah. you know what I mean and here's another. thing hi guy hi guy me yeah you're. ripped you're ripped the sh out of your. mind St I told you it's later in the. evening I'm going to start drug testing. on the show the employees on the show. are going to go into rigorous drug test. I'm I'm not K you're so high right now. I'm not so high I'm I've seen your eyes. get on Amazon right now in order drug. tests for the crew cuz I want to start. drug testing everybody yeah this is a. sober show Bobby is so he's going.

through the program show up here on. drugs and alcohol Ming whenever I look. at you I get uncomfortable he's itching. he's itching right now I want marijuana. too no Bob he's given me marijuana. before yeah because we get him for free. at comedy shows he gives what we get. when Hawaii was I high yeah when I was. high yeah when you were relapsing yeah. that doesn't count we were in Hawaii. together yeah bro yeah he was wait wait. wait why we did a show no we didn't do a.

show in Hawaii no what you mean Mexico. no I was in Hawaii with him with trash. Tuesday oh oh you were yeah and you were. filming something and so you were there. too and yeah it was chaos but do we get. high together oh yeah fun yeah it was no. hey hey no yes bad Carlos bring me back. to no no I won't I won't Andrew will get. too mad and these drug tests are pretty. uh reasonably priced too yeah well I. want the whole crew drug tested and. fancy I want you to drug test as well.

you're not exempt from this because I. don't know what you're up to if you're. using he seems like he could be. using and Carlos meanwhile what what did. Mone say you were drinking in the car. before you came in the too Chico. Margaritas are good Mone go get a Bud. Light out of the fridge he has to drink. one on the air now hell yeah don't drink. that on camera okay you pig just do that. like the sad Pig you are hide it behind. the wall it's the gay drink right it's. well trans Dr Trans drink yeah the Bud. Light supports trans rice I ask you a. question Andrew my best friend yeah baby.

um why is it that you can't mix Foods. who are you talking about what do you. mean what do you mean I can mix Foods no. what no but think about what I'm saying. you can't different lands right you. can't at a restaurant get a California. roll did you give him weed I promise I. beef stro off I'm trying to tap into it. no you can do that it's at a. buffet California rle beef strogen off. at a buffet have you ever been to Buffet. they have all that stuff they have pizza. spaghett a Baja Fish Taco go to any when.

we're in Vegas you can get all that at. one we'll go to the famous you shouldn't. do it no yes you should why because. that's what makes America great oh. that's true that's what Donald Trump was. talking about right can you get a torch. I want I I want a torch tiki torch I. want a tiki torch and I want to be able. to like we not a red like a red hat but. without any anything on it just a white. hat no red hat like a r red baseball hat. thought talking about a white hat like a. pointy white hat well I want that at. night yeah with the torch yeah at night.

but during the day wear the red hat. right mhm with nothing on it nothing on. it and let them infer right I think you. can mix mix foods but honestly do you. even like it what do you want to you. want to get a California roll and then. have spaghetti yeah I mean i' have never. had a California with beef stroganov. before is this something that you want. well I just I in my mind I'm like. there's no way that's good I don't know. I kind of think that might be really. good but with the bajav fish taco too I. mean what's wrong with it I just don't. get it I just just don't see what's bad.

about this an. epana again these are all home runs all. right okay I don't hear any flaws in. this okay what about this if I take a. California roll got it I take a bowl and. I stir it like you mash it I mash it got. it then I put beast strogov in Stir It. Right mhm steel cut oatmeal why Stir It. what do you mean why why not is what I. said why not I said I mean you're Irish. right yeah yeah yeah oh is that our. thing well I mean I put in California. role you need you need cut up some.

potatoes put some potatoes in there you. stir it right right and then what else. would you put in. there I think you have it. not you think so no I think you put an. entire packet of American cheese that's. right on top slices singles CRA the. craft. powder right the macaroni and cheese. powder mac and cheese powder you pour. that in there right you mix it then you. bake it yeah 350 in the oven right and. you bake it for 2 hours that's so long.

2 hours yeah all right or no hour what's. long I never Bak 30 minutes or 30. minutes Bing 400 can you put flow in. there just a just like a. rose yeah yeah yeah you can yeah like a. dandelion a Bonia a Bonia yeah you throw. that in there no I put flour like the. wheat flour the bread. flour right why why could you make a. bread out of it not if you just put. flour in it that's not going to do. anything oh how do you make bread we. need water let me guess water M flour.

egg butter yeast yeast ye yeast ye Let. It Rise yeah yeah we get we'll get Tom. Papa on the show he'll teach us how to. make bread oh really you know what I did. in the middle of the night that I have. to admit and I feel very bad about I. stepped on my dog going to piss in the. middle of the night no you know that. sound that they make when you step on. it's different yeah it's different. there's a different sound that they emit. it's like inside their computer deep. inside of the algorithm and when you. step on him it's like yeah they've never. made that sound before yeah I've stepped. on Jewish a Jewish person before what do.

they say same same thing yeah yeah you. just stepped on one I stepped on one. yeah wow o ve oh yeah that my Jewish dog. o but so you stepped on your dog your. dog's so cute he a poodle I feel so bad. she was under see what happens is she. does this I don't know if your dog does. this but she goes on and off the bed. during the course of the night like. sometimes if she's too warm she'll jump. down off of the bed and then she sleeps. onto the bench she gets cold she wants. to come back up on the bed again well. last night she must have jumped off when.

before I passed out cuz I didn't know. yeah and I my fat ass rolled out of bed. and I took a big thud onto the ground. and I stepped on the back of her legs. and her butt I mean hard and did wake. your wife up yeah freaked out well cuz. the dog went it did that thing and did. he walk out of the room no she panicked. she started moving around the room like. crazy like she and I was trying to hold. her to see if she was in pain and I. picked her up and I was holding her and. I just started pee I went pissed I had. to piss you pissed while you were. holding the dog well I was comforting. her but I had to piss what am I going to.

do not piss I got to comfort the dog has. your dog seen your penis seen. it seen. it how else did you adopt the dog that's. how you let him know who you are oh. that's right I don't know peanut butter. baby peanut butter oh yeah yeah yeah I. was holding the poor girl and I'm peeing. and she was like whimpering and shaking. I felt so bad so bad I know so we killed. her we had to get rid of her that's it. Bojo my cat my middle cat yeah no the. youngest cat Bo the youngest he's fat. he's overweight I would fat fat a mean.

word he's over and you know sometimes. I'll look at him and on my bed when he's. on my bed he'll. go and like spread his legs like this he. goes just to show you his Goods no he. doesn't he wants belly rubs oh yeah. bellies that's what we say but it's. not he he wants his poito rubbed I don't. know I know dud poo touch I don't know. but I swear to God he goes right like. this right and okay Bojo and I'll start. doing the belly and he'll.

go oh down he wants it down he'll go. right I'll go no no Bojo you know the. next time you are on a date with a girl. I want you to just at dinner just. go you think so yeah see what she'll do. like this see if she'll rub in the. middle of it right you and I are on a. date right now okay thank you for taking. me to Cheesecake Factory this is rad. I've never been here do have to match. you're welcome I like what that's not. you I'm the lady I I know but your voice. I just felt like I had to match it no. it's you oh you're welcome I like that. you're just you okay I'm sorry I really.

like this restaurant this is great. thanks for taking me here oh you're. welcome what who are you now me okay. great that's how I am she's black right. what are you're doing I'm black I. thought the character was black I was. doing my own thing oh you're right okay. perfect you're welcome so um I know we. matched on Rya yeah and I want to tell. you a lot of girls online they're not. into first aid hookups yeah I am I'm a. first first dat hookup type of girl.

me meow oh wow no no me there it is that. got me gone yeah yeah that got that. would get me gone that's better yeah. okay sorry my bad I want you to meow the. next time you D take someone on a date. just do that lift up your if it's not. going well if that's not going well well. just let it bomb anyway what's the. difference okay well I want to see what. the com okay let's say that we're having. a conversation that's. uncomfortable you know you know some the. date's not going well and you go.

and I and you kind of know oh this is. not this I'm not going to hook up with. this girl this is going to be bad you're. ready to just bail yeah so let's all. right so we're middle conversation I. know okay here it is yeah I don't know I. just think I don't know I disagree with. you I think I think reparations are in. order and I think we should be giving. everybody money I think we should be. giving every black individual in the. United States money I don't know why you. we'd have to give the natives money and. then we'd have to give everyone money. and we should and we should give more. and more and more the hard work. taxpayers money they should all go to.

Every minority no what about. infrastructure what do we need that the. roads the roads will what do we need. that. for can we get out of here really see. how fast that switched she was so. politically charged until you finally. meow at her yeah that's all she needs. wow I did not know that is a P that is a. panty. dropper panty dropper kiddo anyway. Bojo what did Bojo do you rubbed him no. I rub his belly and then um.

every time I'll do a wider I'll do a. wider. rub you know what I mean like one of. those like you know wax on wax off you. know Cate kid R little Miyagi stuff yeah. so I go wide and it goes toward his area. right and he. go he get a little bit more loves it. yeah so I don't know man I know man what. do you know it's wrong I think you've. trained him to do that no that's not. true that's not true that's that's out. of pocket it sounds like I did not it. sounds like you started it you started.

it he wouldn't know that if you didn't. start it you did it one time he liked it. you kept going back well P he's poo is. wait a cat's pee. pee what are you doing what are you. googling can you sexually arouse the cat. yeah male cats can be sensitive to. testical stimulation oh sorry tactile. yeah some finish off the arouser uh. reaction by biting or clawing does he. bite you and Claw you when you're. rubbing his. belly why it's not really does he bite. you and Claw you your honor I will. interview the way does he B bite you and.

Claw you your honor it's a nibble it's. not a bite but does he claw does his. hands go down there and he bites and. nibbles it's a high five yeah not a claw. the good work is what he's saying he's. going thank you I'm telling you D this. can get reported I didn't do anything. what is it the ASPCA or whatever I. didn't do anything I didn't do anything. straight well no no we can't say that. word we can't say that word dude what. the [ __ ] are you doing dude Stoned on. drug High zilia Zu oh [ __ ] you can't say. that can't say that either I'm sure no. I'm just saying so anyway go back to.

your dog is your dog. okay well I'm certainly not going to pet. her puss I didn't say that I didn't say. that that's exactly what you said I. didn't say that you said you had a wide. birth and then you accidentally rubbed. on his p no I'm just going you know wax. on anyway okay no I would not I rub her. belly and I stay and I stay high and up. by her neck and her little belly yeah. but she's going to be fine we'll find. out let me ask you this she's got trauma. for sure can I ask you this though what. if like The Little Prince Right the lp I. had a little wand yeah and I did your.

dog turned into a human she's female. right she's a girl yeah she looked like. Margo Robbie mhm right so I go like you. know the Little Prince don't they do. that little frog turning into the prince. yeah they do I turn your dog into Margot. Robbie yeah amazing right. yeah you're going to raise her as your. nothing would change I would put I'd. make her get on all fource I'd put on a. leash on her and I'd walk her around I'd. take her for walks in the morning really. yeah well she's my dog and you wouldn't. do belly rubs like absolutely you. wouldn't do long belly rub I would do.

belly rub the long kind I don't. know what do you mean I would take her. for long walks I would clean up her poop. but you know be weird though they. probably don't know English they. probably still a dog right so you still. you know no dogs know English dogs know. the language in which you speak to them. you go to Mexico they speak Spanish oh. really what's a Mexican dog sound like. hey bark. [Laughter]. bark you know what you're right bow B.

hey man bow yeah what do they what do. they sound like in China help help. help that's me oh cut it out why what. does a dog sound like in. China oh wow no no no that's that's. first of all that's Japanese all right. CH [ __ ] okay you can't say that why. can't do that CH [ __ ] yeah yeah you're. saying Chin Chin I saying Chinchin yeah. good restaurant by right you like Chin. Chin love I love Chinchin Chin Chin is. is a clean restaurant the food is so.

clean Chinchin is like the McDonald's of. of Chinese food like it's consistent it. always has the same thing you know what. you're getting it's the old school it's. the simple menu right and it used to be. when we were broke that used to be the. place we're like oh man two weeks I get. to go to chinen well that was like. high-end that was super that was like a. fancy yeah if I if I could go to. Chinchin on Sunset that was a fancy. Chinese night out yeah what's a fancy. night out for you Mone right now now. that you're making a couple bucks we've. got you hired are you are you treating. yourself uh I went to Barney's the other.

night the bar Barney's Beanery yeah not. the department store yeah he can't do. that I I don't know the one on Santa. Monica yeah the one on Santa Monica you. want to know the irony about that place. I've been going to that place for years. I used to love going there me too Barney. is in the heart of West Hollywood for. people that don't know West Hollywood is. the predominant gay neighborhood in Los. Angeles it is the mecca of gay it's. where the gay parade is Right Barney in. its origination was owned by this old. decrepit guy that hated gay people. people moving into the neighborhood so. on the roof look it up look at what he.

used to say on the roof of Barney's. Beanery oh no look at what he used to. say this is real this is a factual thing. from the history of Barney's Beanery he. painted on the. rooftop Carlos is so high he can't even. do Barney so high I'm typing this. correctly picture of gaser on Barney's. beanie re roof I guess I mean he there. was pictures all over the internet at. one. point where is it am I crazy is this one. of those what do you callums uh Mandela. effect where we know it's said something. on the roof I think it's a Mandela.

effect no no no look at the look at the. thing I always thought it was this one. Andrew honestly maybe that is it so. that's the famous Barney this is am I. losing my mind that it used to I've. never heard that I never heard that well. you just saw the article about it so it. is true it's what I've suck three dicks. in Barney's Beanery I just no so can I. ask you about Barney yeah back in the. day there were a lot of chicks there. were a lot of chicks yeah I usually go. on the east side and it's more like a. hipster Vibe over by where I live in. Echo Park and Silver Lake I don't really. go out in weo that much but everyone.

there is like it's like aggressive. they're like really hot but like. pretentious and they kind of look like. like nepo babies nepo babies something. you wish you were you're a just a bum. from Minnesota you got no Connections in. this business but it was kind of fun. being bar because like with this yeah it. felt like I had like a suicide vest on. be honest have you gotten laid since. yeah no since you've shaved your head. like this do you think this is a. deterrent oh yeah not helping he showed.

me a video of this really hot girl that. apparently he's hooked up with and then. he takes off his hat and it's like a. Reveal video and the girl's like freaked. out and it's kind of offensive to me. because that's what I like really just. look like yeah that's what you look like. all the time that's why he did it as a. bit now what's the goal with this are we. going to keep shaving your head how are. we going to get through this no I think. I'm going to Mullet it once it grows my. hair's I'm just going to look weird for. like a few months it's why don't just. shave the whole thing and then start.

from the beginning I like you are. balding though aren't you when I have. this yeah it's like like nothing has. changed yeah I mean this looks yeah but. then you take your hat off when when you. get a girl to your apartment and she's. going to be bummed unless you keep your. hat on the whole time that you're. hooking up hat stays on so did you say. that to her hat stays on hat stays on I. can imagine that could do you think that. would work if you could get butt naked. just leave the Hat on it doesn't work. you've tried I've tried it doesn't work. yeah we should ask the resident bald guy.

yeah I've tried it doesn't work it's not. cool to do you just got to like be up. front you got to post pictures of. yourself looking the way you are on your. face you tried to okay so back in the. beginning when you were going bald like. this you'd get a girl to hang out with. you and you would try to keep the Hat on. the whole time did any of them say take. it off when they do ask to take it off I. will take it off but sometimes they. don't what's the response if you take it. off have you ever had a girl you take it. off and she goes I got to get out of. here no never never never Morgan and. Morgan.

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what is she misses Potato Head she's. just taking off portions of her body no. I'd love to know that you that's so. funny you know what I do that's what a. nice guy I am at after we make love. you'd want to know I take the I take the. Prosthetics and I put the Vaseline in to. put it back on their legs the funny. thing you think they use Vaseline to put. it back on how do they how do they get. on well they're they're a lot of it. depends but a lot of them Link in they. like it snaps in into their skin do you. need Vaseline in their. skin yeah yeah they have hooks in their. skin just hanging out just like fishing.

hooks anyway you would not you're a liar. and I I also would car carry them well. like it's like they like we in Play We. Are The Champions by Queen after you had. sex yeah just parade her around yeah. hooray you know you be honest if you got. home to a girl that you're dating and. she just takes them both off you're not. going to react any type of way I'm not. saying you kick her out of bed but. you're not going to go oh [ __ ] I didn't. know you didn't have Fu I use my acting. skills do them right now and I I would.

go pretend like it's not happening oh. pretend like it's not she's not taking. off limbs yeah so do it I've had such a. good night me too I'm feeling. frisky I feel frisky too. well oh it feels so much better look oh. look at the oh when I rub my Nubs it. feels so good after a long day are you. thirsty sometimes I hit my look at that. look at this there's no place like home. there's no place like home you thirsty I. hit my Nubs together will you get some.

lotion and and rub up my Nubs. please have you ever licked a nub in. bed ooh you want to see you're right. you're right it would never work well if. they did it that way they got to say. something about it lick they're going to. say something they got they have two. [ __ ] legs missing they're going to. say a joke or they're going to be. self-aware yeah yeah they have to Carlos. makes a joke when he takes his hat off. he makes a joke I always go oh I have. crazy hair and they go and but they. always go I know because every girl. nowadays Googles you before you go out.

yeah but but you especially because you. have a little bit of public recognition. now but before that you would make jokes. about it oh my God you he would say you. told me one time you go oh I'm having a. bad hair day and he would take his hat. off and the girls like it yeah that's a. killer line I'm having a bad hair day. you know what worse than no legs having. a prosthetic vagina they who has those I. don't know if they people. right and then. boom that would be a bummer can you hold. this yeah I'd grab the thing and just. start.

[ __ ] yeah prosthetic any prosthetic. you're right you're right you're. actually it what an eyeball like one. eyeball just yeah comes right out yeah. that would be a funny I would ask if I. could use it oh you do what I be go. there's another hole oh right. right there's one more. hole I see I see I mean imagine though. if she did take her eyeball out yeah.

what if she took her eyeball out and she. was like let's use this for for foreplay. a. bead yeah one. bead well it's not an eyeball yeah it's. a but it's fake yeah it's not a real. eyeball it's just it's a marble or glass. they made of glass so the ball glass. eyes the ball goes in my hole of course. it does but guess what what it comes out. of your. mouth goes in your butt and you go. t yeah wow what are they made of glass. what are most fake eyes made out of.

glass eye were really made of glass then. now they're made of hard plastic acrylic. of course that makes sense the glass. would be so much more dope to have a. glass eyeball but I bet you it's just. too how much is it I want to know like. if I want to buy one yeah let's order a. couple of glass eyes to the studio no. but I want to see like how high-end it. goes holy [ __ ]. $8,000 the cheap one's 2500 I bet you I. can get you one on the east side of La. for like 40. bucks I bet you in my life I can go get. you one for 40 bucks like it's made out. of wood yeah yeah human style ey used it.

says used on Etsy 20 bucks oh 20 bucks. used that's fine hand blown glass ey see. I'm sure people get them for cheap but. you could get a dope one for 8,300 okay. let me see when. 8,300 ey is they only last they last 10. years too that's long enough Bob can you. think about that if you lost an eye yeah. how dope would you customize your eye oh. my God I have like pterodactyl eyes he's. so cool I would have eyes that are like. so. otherworldly yeah I'd want something oh.

look at that guy up top look at the. first picture up top that guy third in. that's cool see if if you lose an eye. you got to walk into the fight you know. what I would do cyclop that's the way or. I would do one Marty Feldman eye what. Marty Felman yeah what what do you mean. look at his eyes I would do one gigantic. eye just a just a huge eye like that. yeah but it's always looking the wrong. way yeah yeah yeah I would put a. gigantic Marty Feldman eye imagine. having a conversation with that guy. like imagine he's imagine if you come. over to his house and you work for like.

the gas. company you know when he has to do like. mundane stuff yeah he looks cool in that. photo I think when he bulges his eyes. out like that's weird but well that's. his thing when does he not bulge that's. what he looks like oh that's right yeah. yeah I like it this dog's looking over. there that dog's looking over there but. he was such a great actor I don't know. what he was in other than knowing he was. in Young Frankenstein but what else I. don't know okay so yeah that's it but he. was great than that okay fine they.

needed a guy who could look both ways at. the same. time what has he done Marty Feldman. should have been a crossing guard at one. point in his life. yeah he should be all eye movies Hill of. eye Hills Have Eyes yeah Marty has eyes. yeah. uh eyes wide shut eyes eyes wi shut he. did a lot of stuff obviously but the one. thing that took off clearly was young. Frank aside that's the only thing he. really was going to pop from yeah I mean. that's so anybody listening too if. you're not if you've never seen that. movie you're dumb Young Frankenstein one.

of the funniest movies ever made you got. to see it classic right Andreas can you. back me up on that awesome movie yeah. yeah it is very very funny that is one. of the what would you say that 70s 80s. the the iconic 70s iconic comedy movies. that you have to watch well I would say. I would say if you're a comedy fan and. you're you're young now you probably. don't know Monty Python and I would. highly suggest watching mon python I. would say sleeper sleeper Woody Allen. Sleeper yeah sleeper I would do um. Mel Brook Brooks anything Mel Brooks.

really did Blazing Saddles but I would. also say probably go back and watch like. uh like old school [ __ ] like watch like. I would say look up chaplain stuff cuz. you want to talk about the original [ __ ]. that dude was the original [ __ ] you. don't watch chaplain what do you mean I. don't you've never I'm not popping it in. now but I have seen it that's why what. is it so funny no dude it's so how funny. it's not funny yes it I swear to God it. is I promise you it. is you're doing it right now yeah is. that funny yeah by the way how literal. you would have been Charlie Charlie.

Chaplain just be in the jungle they're. shooting at. me oh my God that's a great movie. Charlie Charlie. chap that would be great yeah no I. really do I mean in the history of time. when I've watched these old movies you. go I get where comedy now I see bruis. from. like you don't watch it again but you go. oh my God that's where so and so gets.

the way he falls the way Farley Falls. right the way Farley did Pratt yeah. Falls that was indicative of so many. other big [ __ ] uh what's his name um. Buster Keon huh Buster Keaton well. Buster Keon for sure Fatty Arbuckle. right it's like all these guys that were. like overweight that like did physical. comedy you saw it again and again and. again in our new guy I mean we do it we. steal from oh yeah whatever comedy from. our history in our childhood was in our. mind the way our brains and our faces. work yeah who was a comic when you were.

a kid that you try to emulate or an. actor that you would do his. motions nobody you never saw a guy and. you tried to like the obvious reason for. me we scream like Sam Kennison in the. bathroom but that's it no that's see. that's a big thing cuz that does help. yeah that's what you do on stage. sometimes without you scream yeah yeah. I'm very influenced by him mine was. always I mean Jim was everything Jim did. I I wanted to mock let me ask you. something. and this is going to be a weird question. to ask you okay yeah so when we were.

when I was a kid in in standup I would. CU I never did the main room back then. right and you see all the comics back. there like you know and I'd go and I. would look up to them and I go wow. they're cool this and that but we're. when we're back there it doesn't feel. like we're cool no they don't like us so. has it change no that's not true I'm. sure that I'm sure that younger Comics. people look at like oh there's Andrew. Santino Bobby Lee or whatever some some. Comics I mean I'm sure not all of them. like all of us because my argument is.

this and this is what and I'm I'm not. going to call out. names but here we. go the doormen at The Comedy Store. sometimes feel too comfortable oh wow. they talk to me as if why you laughing. mcon because I've seen it yeah they talk. to me as if their Headliners too like. you know why don't you say something to. him then I try but it's like I go you're. you're you're acting like you're a. headliner and no no offense I've had.

your job but it's like you know you. giving me a noogie they're grabbing you. yeah really oh yeah push me around I've. never seen this yeah M they don't they. don't do it in front of you what they do. in front of me though yeah they they. would not do that in front of I'm. like wait a second I'm what happened to. the rules we got to fight back then what. do I do punch P punch back well you. can't punch spit lick oh Li I do too I. do too much of that I think that's what. it is too right so you play with them.

too much so they think it's comfortable. like yeah okay go ahead well I mean go. ahead like Chappelle Lacy what do you do. to to Chappelle well he let the other. day he walked by me and he crushed his. fingers against my. neck can you imagine he would [ __ ]. murder you that dude is so strong I know. he would [ __ ] break you but he goes. but he but when he's like playing with. me he pretends I'm like a baby chimp to.

him you are I know you're just so you. can see him like kind of letting me dude. he could crack you like a fortune cookie. like a little fortune cookie just right. in the middle why can't it just be like. a oatmeal cookie just a little fortune. cookie I can't be peanut butter cookie. no because like just like a fortune. you're filled with wisdom that's right. see yeah but so I him and I stopped. doing to Ian Edwards well he doesn't. like to be [ __ ] with you don't touch. Ian Ian's very I did it for 20 years. yeah it's not a good idea yeah he's. still not over it it's weird I just like. I'll tackle him from behind and this.

come on yeah but with the young guys. there they just they don't have the same. respect I don't know if this is true but. to you to you and Sebastian I see how. they treat you guys I they they look at. you like this no that's not I see I've. seen it that's not the other day I swear. to God they were like look at you like. this like everything you say is wisdom. with me they're like well what do. you but they they push me around and. stuff and and they're like well that's. the end of it tonight we're not putting. up with any of that anymore no more and. and I would call out names we do it but.

I will not oh I will not because I want. to give himone a shot but it's like I've. noticed it and you know I'm glad M that. you've seen it he's seen it I know he's. hanging around the store a little bit. too much yeah it it it does bother me he. was chumming it up with what's her name. the other night who curly hair girl. Angie Angie yeah yeah yeah he's buddying. up way too close to her oh the girl you. hung out with instead of him that one. night. what does that mean what are you. implying hi guy I'm not high bro yeah.

what are you implying though no I was. just trying to like remember Guy hey Guy. check this out dude I was just trying. listen gu guy okay all right what's up. I'm um I I like to take like I we did. with Jesse other people and I did it. with Esther I did it with Benji I did it. with a bunch of you done it with me yeah. you I've done it Sandy dant all these. guys right I like to mentor and take him. to dinner and go here are the ropes and. do you need need any help I promise I. wasn't implying anything else okay so I. don't know what you're implying friend.

the there's no dark magic or ar I did it. with you I know and here I am thank you. yeah you're welcome I appreciate it yeah. yeah it was a bad idea to do with him I. me sometimes you make a mistake your. instinct is wrong your instincts are. wrong right you're going to pick a few. bad horses yes they're not all going to. win the race I still think of you when. we pass by some of those places what. places we went to when he's picking up. crack at night no we went to the. Newsroom Cafe on Robertson that's gone. well we went back in the day yeah I.

remember where's the where did he take. where the nicest place he took you the. Chinese place on Beverly with Charlie. Charlie Finn yeah he was cool yeah yeah. yeah Charlie Finn you know Charlie Finn. I don't know who that is he's like one. of my best friends Charlie Finn Charlie. Finn was on a sitcom with Zack knon and. Maz dbr I'll show the picture we life on. a stick just for Andre oh yeah I like. this guy I know him I like him yeah and. Charlie fin is so funny what a face on. that guy yeah he was he was Super. Troopers he was so good so good in Super.

Troopers yeah but he's my best buddies. in the whole world that guy yeah look. you come up when you Google him huh. interesting of course what you what did. you do together that's why you shot. something together no him him and I so I. was on Mad TV and he was on life on a. stick it was a bug. show no so they did a move they did a TV. show called life on with Zack knon who's. on Magnum PI miles dubron and Charlie. and it was a show about um life on a. stick hot dog on a stick oh was that.

they worked at Hot Dog who's the girl I. know who the girl is but um well let's. find out so they hot yeah they work on a. hot dog on a stick oh I see why this one. didn't take I know it's crazy you know. what the irony is this has this has. feelers it feels to me reminiscent of uh. uh the uh two brok girls it has that. same Vibe it's got the same colorization. the same look it's shot the same way. this is what always bothered me about TV. back in the day we only found out. recently look at her [ __ ] hair yeah.

her hair was the girl who works at the. hot dog stand doesn't have [ __ ] hair. like that these good-look kids don't. work at hot dog stand they you know who. works at a hot dog stand Mone that's who. works at a hot dog take off your hat. this is the kid you see in the mall. going you guys want a hot dog that's who. does it not some beautiful girl and two. really good-look guys that was the. problem of TV they casted hot people in. non-hot rolls mhm is that a DVD it's. fan-made it even says it all right Jesus. Christ by the way you know who works in. a hot dog stand today who you and me.

what do you mean we would pass on a show. like this today oh that's true you can't. get two hot people on there you got to. get two guys yeah yeah two goof asses. who failed out out of life but anyway. who was the girl look up the name right. there go back to all I'd like to see. what her name is to see if she's now. Lily oh no Sage Thompson and and. relle Zach is killing it but I'm sure. they're sure they're all doing great. well I mean want to see we we all do. show we all do shows that uh didn't go.

yeah but it's good I mean I'm sure. they're all you know you keep moving. along in this business yeah you try. these Pilots I've tried so many you. tried so. many try try try try try try try try try. try try try yeah V guess v v v v v v um. guess what what I bought my brother a. car on vroom and he loves it you're. maybe one of the best Brothers I've ever. known we all know how much of a hassle. buying car is can be right it stinks you. spend so much time driving around right. Andrew trying to find the perfect car it. you go from dealership to dealership and.

you're like I want to go get lunch I. don't want to hassle I don't want to. haggle and. negotiate poof now what we got we got V. we got V it's so much easier no more man. thanks to v v is the better way to buy. and sell used cars buddy when you go to. room.com you can shop thousands of cars. right from your phone they have all the. popular makes and models no haggle. pricing you know you're getting a good. deal and the best of all they deliver. the ride directly to your house they. dropped off Bobby's brother's car at his. house man didn't have to go anywhere you. can also sell or trade in your current. car on V and they'll pick it up for free. answer a few questions about your car on.

the Vroom website you'll get an offer in. as little as 2 minutes you have no. obligation to sell there's nothing to. lose so whether it's buying your next. car selling or trading in your current. one vroom has you covered start shopping. today at vroom.com that's room.com VOR. guess what guess what we're going to. Australia we're going down on M and. we're going to use vur that's right to. to to to do excursions experiences and. excursions while we're in the outback. myis T has over 300,000 bookable travel. experiences in over 190 countries they.

offer everything from simple tours to. Extreme Adventures and all the niche. interesting stuff in between VOR is the. place to book memorable travel. experience I've gotten you stuff on VOR. you have you always have a good time. well I do I did an ATV ride that was. great I did a little beautiful little. hike I have used VOR and it is very. wonderful because you do not have to be. into some Extreme Adventure you can do. something small and unique and custom. it's also simple it's vour is a website. or an app where you can book travel. experiences and they offer everything. from simple tours to Extreme Adventures. with over 300,000 bookable experiences. in 190 countries like Andrew said.

there's something for everyone something. for everyone no matter who you are what. you like if you're traveling you can. read millions of traveler reviews just. like you you have the information you. need to book the best activities for. your trip and when you book a travel. experience in vior there's always. flexibility and support with free. cancellation payment options and 247. customer service download the vator app. now and use code VI to 10 for 10% off. your first booking in the app one app. over 300,000 travel experiences you'll. remember do more with VOR can you call. our friend oh yeah um who what's going.

on now I got a little present for you oh. I love it it's a big it's a dude okay. this is wild all. right does he know yeah we just texted a. couple seconds ago who is. it hello hello hello yes hello is this. the great Michael. Winslow what left. wait wait what do you mean what mean. what's left of you we're on the phone.

with the great Michael Winslow he's a. legend a legend we talked about you but. Michael do you live in LA or. no I'm in Florida but but I'm also up up. in Washington we're we're up in outside. of Olympia right now oh you are you're. on the road yeah we're in the mountains. right now oh in the mountain so for. people we want to explain at home one of. the one of we have starlink in the. mountains so oh you're star linking up. there you got Elon technology oo fancy. fancy boy I mean how else am I going to.

upload and download 4K if I want to do. stuff that's exactly right right the. porn one of the greatest actors and. voice actors see here here's here's the. thing you got to be able to have. especially for music oh my gosh I got I. gotta have data link stuff because we do. you know I got music coming coming out. Mr windo what do you think I gotta have. I gotta have that quality to be able to. Uplink what do you think if starlink had. uh what would it sound like when it was. communic through space zapping down to. you well remember in space no one can.

hear you. [Laughter]. scream. yeah W. God you still got it in Spades baby you. have to understand as long as everybody. makes noises you you guys know that. every person man woman whoever you got. skill set you got the sound but we don't. use it.

don't you could have so much fun and it. could go so many different ways provided. you use the sounds for the proper Good. Michael do you now do you during the. course of the day do you continually. imitate things that you hear as you go. about course of your day and put it down. in your phone to like give yourself. notes to keep working on. sound well that sounded just like a. cough was that a. cough sorry let me put my headphones on. here I'm just. trying that was good. that sounded exactly real cough yeah. well here up up in the mountains we have.

this thing called Scotch broom it's it's. pollen and um if you're are you you guys. use your voices every day so you. understand yes yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah. we've had a lot of a lot of allergens in. the air I don't know if you heard me I. was saying during the course of the day. do you ever do you record yourself. listening to sounds and you imitate them. during the course of the day do you ever. do. that uh not necessarily it depends on. what what what the day is I'm doing. voice over stuff you know I'm listening.

for what possibilities I can bring into. it right okay if I do a sound do you. think you could find out quickly what it. is because I feel like you're such in. tune with noises all right I'm gonna do. a sound you tell me what you think it is. ready are you gonna make it or is this. or is this or is this an actual. recording I'm gonna make it I promise. and then I want you to tell me what you. think it is ready go. [Music]. ahead what do you. think hi hang on let me ask my hip hop. app.

snary yo snary what you think that. is yo I think it is a vacuum cleaner who. whoa serious oh Siri I gotta be honest. with you no no no this is her cousin. with an. Oher rad wow I hate to tell you that was. a Tesla Model. X but it does sound like a vacuum. cleaner let's try one more time you got. a noise Bob here you go here you.

[Music]. go now what do we think that. is I think it's if I'm not mistaken what. do you think. snary yo you're on your own yo thanks. doesn't know whoow thanks well you know. what I did buy it at the snooper market. so you know she was next to the Snoop.

Loops so Snoop Loops oh. Snoop oh by the way you can get. those anyway what I think that is me. because of my sense of humor kind of. sounds like a sheep trying to get out of. a Tesla that's what it is that's what it. was that's what it is that's exactly. what it was W dude you're kidding you're. kidding yeah that's what it is you are a. legend oh you're a legend dude. unbelievable I appreci I I really. appreciate you listening to our sounds I. do want to see if we could do it back.

with you will you make a sound and see. if maybe I can identify what it is yeah. oh I already did but but anyway um oh. let's see what do you got in the chamber. baby turns the chamber well let's see I. have to step outside a. second.

hey Mr what up. yo me. fo me. fool sorry that's that's Mr Al by the. way where's my cookie pox. mother [ __ ] amazing amazing amazing I. don't want to take up too much of your. time we appreciate we just we talked. about you on the podcast want to reach. out to you we're huge fans and we really. appreciate you and we love you and uh. thank you so much for taking the time. when you come down to La will you come.

on our show oh absolutely I'd be honored. and besides you guys make noises are you. kidding me we do we do we do not like. you but we do yeah we're different we're. we're uh we could we could work on we. could work on oh D we would love that AB. love it I would absolutely take one of. your classes yeah here with us let me. give you let me give you one that's easy. right okay okay um this is something. that they use in all of the s fiction. films regarding trolls and Elks and Orcs.

and everything else Bobby's an orc I'm. an orc this is this is one of the Lord. of the Rings type of noises something. simple uh horse hoofs are you ready. horse H yes okay this is. easy wow how how. how. so wow you know that also sound yeah it. it sounds like and and don't forget and. don't. forget oh yeah he farted that he.

farted oh actually that's the wrong end. but you're. close we want to tell you that we love. you and we appreciate you and we'll be. talking to you soon because we we want. to get you on the show will you guys. continue to make noises and and breaking. rules in organized man we shall we shall. thank you Michael you're the best Bye. Michael you're the. best so that's incredible incredible. that man is an amazing amazing machine. God I wish we could do that you can you.

did it no but his yours is way better. than mine let's hear let's hear when a. phone gets. disconnected. no that's pretty good really yeah what. about you let's do an open do he did. opening a door do opening a. door perfect really that's so good you. do. one. whoa that's all my doors they sound like. oh they do well they got to be they're. too wedged to the ground but those are.

easy ones let's try to do a hard one. okay like um a car engine I don't know. if I can you do yeah man go. ahead yeah that's good yeah yeah how. about this do a toaster. good hold on let me try it's hard ready.

mine's like this mine's like. yeah bread oh wow yeah we tuned mine to. say bread yeah yeah yeah um what is this. what do you got here I have this um bro. we didn't see any any any banana. somewhere. right yeah little little Chinese k black.

ey why do they react that way D dude. what why do they react don't know that. that's why she said little she said. Foreigner Foreigner little black little. black no he didn't it's translated right. there on the screen where's the. banana he said that yeah but I think. he's just genuinely looking for bananas. that has nothing to do with and the and. the kid was going I know Chinese bro any. any banana somewhere right okay stop. stop stop so that there's two things. going on a racist little kid no that's. not what that is a racist little.

kid grandma look Foreigner right. African little black little. black what what the crap is that crazy. that is insane that she fre man that. little Chinese girl is right let's. cancel her let's find out find out where. find out where she Liv preschool is and. cancel her and cancel her take away her. toys. wow we won't stand for this kind of. behavior in our society anymore and I. mean it cancel this young little Chinese.

girl thank you Carlos for bringing that. to my attention yeah no problem man. these young Chinese kid but there was a. video I saw of a a a black guy in Africa. meeting a white girl and he ran away. it's the same thing no it's not it is no. because historically whites that meet. Africans uh probably not a good look. yes African see whites coming and. they're like get these [ __ ] pigs out. of here okay that's coming out is the. get out. trailer okay yeah oh was that just the.

movie get out that you thought it was I. think it I think it was Jordan's. movie I. saw that's what it was that is insane. yeah wow that's a crazy video give me. something Carlos Pig all right here's. this girl just found out I'm up for two. Grammys my very first time you guys wow. my name is Bobby. stor and I'm up for two gramys.

[Music]. two are able to be quiet but they're. enjoying it so while we're sitting here. could I please I'm not enjoying it so. I'm asking you can you be. quiet that's say yes or is this fake. it's not fake okay wait a minute she. she's nominated for two grand okay wait. is she though yeah TMZ is reporting that. she's like an actual gospel singer.

nominated for the Grammys who name is. Bobby storm wait a minute and this. flight attendant really told her to shut. up yeah just get her on a Southwest. flight those idiots sing all the time I. mean she looks she's not in Delta. Comfort either she's like a normal coach. so I don't think were you judging her by. her class even I fly Delta Comfort yeah. you know and you don't deserve it you. know what Bob we're knocking him down. he's not flying Comfort anymore because. of that last comment you think you're. better than the girl that won two. Grammys you're not I am because don't. yell during flights I don't call well. yeah you're on drugs you pass out the. whole time you're intoxicated the whole.

flight have you ever taken a bad friends. flight with us and not been on drugs or. alcohol no of course not but don't you. want it that way so I'm medicated I want. I just don't want you to have a freakout. moment of that guy's not real like that. chick while you're baked on something. girl she's doing podcast I I I know I. know what the situation is now well. let's finish it let's see the rest I. know what it is I'm shocked J if I don't. can you please answer my question are. you willing and able to be quiet right. now I'm doing what the Lord is telling. me to do I'm asking you a question yes. or no I'm your flight leader I need you.

to follow my instruction okay my. instruction for you to answer my. question are you able to be quiet what. do you guys. think I'm asking you ma'am I'm asking. you guys he better break out the song. too if you're not able to be to follow. my instruction you will not be taking. this flight ah okay are you able to be. quiet if that's the case then that's. fine if you were the person in charge of. it all I'm your flight leader yes if. you're the person in charge of it all. then that's fine all right thank. you I don't buy this I don't buy it.

they're both in the wrong time out I. don't buy that this how could this. happen he sees the camera the whole time. you're telling me that guy sees that. camera and is acting like that I think. he's just the middle seat guy like I. would have started filming too if like. something gospel singer Bobby storm. nearly kicked off the no he was filming. the whole time she announced that she. won the Grammy she must know the human. that filmed this dude no. it's filming while she announces I won a. Grammy it's not it's not as if he's. aware of what's going on what what if.

guy's like slightly doing it he's not. look at how [ __ ] obvious it is you. can tell he's not hiding what are you. angry about because this makes me mad. this isn't real there's something about. this that looks fake as [ __ ] I call fake. as [ __ ] on this this is a faf moment. fake as [ __ ] Carlos is gonna go on his. own profile now no it's cuz I saved I. get it look okay let's just break it. coordinated this is let's break it down. you're getting angry for my very first. time you.

guys my name is Bobby storm not for. second so what you're saying is. everyone's in on it no goofball the guy. that's filming it is clearly in on it. look at how clear the images him. recording this girl she said but some of. those little cameras now with the CIA. and. stuff cut it out if we're going to have. a real argument cut it out cut out what. cut that [ __ ] out this isn't a. little [ __ ] CIA you're really angry. about that this guy is isn't coach this. isn't CIA he's filming on his [ __ ]. iPhone like this okay and she said film.

me she turned around she told all the. people on the plane I'm up for two. Grammy nominations this [ __ ] flight. attendant is definitely in on this. there's no chance he would act like this. cuz she's singing so they did that so. she could get more yes no what's the. because it blew up on the [ __ ]. internet and we're talking about it it. worked it worked like a charm she won. look at us we have to do it yes let's. blow up on the next flight no we're not. going to blow up a flight we mean blow. up the next. flight wow I never look so obvious it's.

all over TMZ yeah Carlos bring a gun to. the airport when we fly out we could. bring the gun on the flight and then I. could pull it out and you yeah bring the. gun on the flight you could tackle me. and we could go viral yeah bring a gun. to the airport Carlos that's not the. same thing I don't think who do we hire. here but we could put bad friends on the. gun it'll be a whole you know what it is. I want you to strip naked on the plane. and sing daddy while you die and I'll. record it done that's interesting press. play again watch. and I'm up for two.

gramy wait wait stop st stop really. rewind it right before it cuts he was. already there he was already there. correct and he was listening to her. thank you interesting interesting go. ahead now she's singing beautifully by. the. way are you need to be quiet but they're. enjoying stop for a stop for a second. are you going to be quiet why would he. do she's just chatting it's not illegal. look at the back of her head let's see. is she a robot she's AI no she's.

white this is a girl in black face look. at the back of her head this is a girl. in black face yeah it's black face wow. good find wud I thought that was I. thought that was a plug I thought she. was plugged in somewhere I thought she. was AI yeah no well we found you out we. found you out. Whitey what what's her name she did a. good job Bobby storm I don't believe the. second of this in fact get her on the. show if she want to talk about it cuz I. think this sound this is phony baloney. incredible though but if um who would.

stop a woman from singing Beautiful. music that doesn't make sense well I was. the my other theory was is that he's. better I I thought he was going to start. singing with her and duet that's what I. thought no but I thought like I have. this job well was a great job right but. you getting Grammy I can sing better so. so he's like watch this shut the [ __ ] up. I don't want to yeah that would have. been dope if he did that then I would. have been like this is a flight. attendant by the way I don't where's my. grammy when we fly and the flight. attendants do that thing where they like.

get chummy and sing and make jokes cut. it out cut it the [ __ ] out I don't want. jokes okay let me we're in a flying. machine you're really negative right now. dude what if they're gay though they're. all gay they're all gay dude what are. you talking about there isn't one guy. flight attendant to you think that guy. wasn't gay well that's what I was saying. I it's on the job description but I. don't like when the girls like do their. thing but when the guys do it I'm like. it's okay also you know I don't like. when anybody song and dances when the. whole plane laughs though and the guy. makes a joke I always look at everyone I.

can look at I. go cuz you're jealous what cuz you're I. think I'm jealous a little I I'm not. jealous I'm just on a machine where I'm. flying in the sky I just want to go to. the place I'm going I don't need to be. like a funny pilot I don't nobody needs. a funny pilot hey we're going to be. going over the Rockies today might be a. little bump or uh a little rocky if you. might add uh [ __ ] off [ __ ] off you're. flying a plane [ __ ] off. don't make a joke you're in a death. machine in the sky there's nothing I.

don't want a funny pilot I don't want a. uh I don't want a nice bartender there's. some things that require different Vibes. but doesn't it but but let me ask you I. just going to say about flying I do have. something to say about that um I don't. want a funny pilot I don't want a nice. bartender I don't want a non-racist cop. but the things I like right right but in. a plane right it some people have. tension and anxiety right and sometimes. a funny pilot or funny okay you're a. funny pilot and I'm I'm a guy on a. flight with terrible anxiety ready okay.

get over the PA system and make a joke. here we go well guys uh we're going to. have a safe and uh nice ride I've only. crashed three of. them I'm kidding folks oh there's a bomb. on the plane there's a bomb on the plane. should be there's a bomb on the plane he. shouldn't be going outside well you. insided it cuz you're a goofball pilot. lol l l not funny fly the can but don't. you think that like just get me to. Spokan what if there was a funny like.

Nazi soldier that was funny during the. camp doesn't that his personality no. what would a funny Nazi Soldier be like. I don't know give us an example yeah you. do the accents go ahead you're the funny. Nazi you know I'm someone. you're please don't hurt me please don't. not get you I don't. know we'll get Michael Winslow on the. phone he'll do a funny.

Nazi can we talk anything about love or. dating or anything with you or oh no. yeah I have a update let's give an. update oh hold. on Bobby love update it's a Bobby love. update Bobby love update it's a Bobby. love. update oh song isn't that long we got to. oh [ __ ] okay sorry my bad what's an. update let's. go I'm going to die alone shut up no I'm.

done what do you mean you're done I I I. realized I don't want to do it yes you. do I know I Carlos you get I'm saying no. here's what it is first of all don't be. on Carlos's know we're in the same. please he's on substances it's just I. can't do it what can't you do. conversations with with women yeah I. just everything annoys me I I I've never. met anybody where I'm like oh I'm not. annoyed you don't like small talk I. don't like what they sometimes even have. to say even most of the time you well I.

mean I mean you have to be obsessed with. them to be into it I have to be like. obsessed to be into it if I'm I mean. it's like you know you have to be in. love what do you mean obsessed what a. gross word yeah I have to have like a. crush on them to be in say that it's. like you know when they say stuff like. you know I love the fall when when when. the leaves change color L the guy to be. obsessed with them like what a creep but. I I get what he's saying though I have. to want to stalk them yeah you have to.

have that that's actually true I Crush. you have to have a crush a crush yeah. yeah that's what it means yeah yeah not. stock yeah but when they say stuff like. you know like the fall the the leaves. change color they say stuff like that. and you go yeah but you don't like any. of that no what kind of conversation do. you want you want deep philosophical. [ __ ] you want a girl to be like what's. the meaning of life no like where like. no like um you know what if a girl said. this to you on a date first date and she. goes give me an. example why can't to totally different.

foods mix like if I took a California. roll and I had it with beef stroganov. why can't I do that like if I must see. see that right there is more interesting. to me I know I'm saying so you want. someone you want you I'd be like yeah. dude right let's get you as a girl yeah. let's find girls out there here how. we're putting it out to fans if you're a. weirdo. chick that that's not a weirdo thing. 100% it is no because listen to people's. conversations it's all whack. conversations are mostly Bullit when I. hear people talk I go what are they talk.

about so find a weirdo that you can have. weird conversations it's Weir I don't I. don't like the connotation that you. saying it's weird you are weird it's. weird I'm not weird it's not a weird. thing I just I'm. uh I don't even know the word I'm uh. eccentric eccentric yeah that's like a. nice way say weird unique yeah unique. I'm unique yeah weird yeah dude you're. weird I'm weird we're weird no it's like. you know like we're weird it's okay well. so I can't I like even if I start a.

conversation with a girl they just don't. know what I'm talking about it's like I. go dude you think that like the Talking. Heads were just on um what's so funny. stepen colar yeah all four of them they. haven't announced a reunion tour so I. you know I was on a date and I go so. what does that mean do you think and. she's like what's that I go what's what. the Talking Heads all right you called. me and I go what you called me yeah. Didn't I call you about that yeah we. called you talked to me about it and you. asked me how the talking heads and we. went over their albums and yeah yeah my.

point is see I'd [ __ ] you so then you. should date me [ __ ] you well then let's. date me but like here that's what I I. want a girl that doesn't look like that. but has shares similar you know what I. mean all right and somebody also that's. funny so me why don't you just date me I. don't want to [ __ ] you though you're. ugly to me I'm not ugly no I'm not a TR. to you oh get over also can I just say. the about you you're also temperamental. so are you yeah I don't want to go go. out with temperamental fine all right. you're too temperamental well let's put. it out there if you're a girl who's a. little eccentric like Carlos actually ew.

what you would [ __ ] him before you'd. [ __ ] me a female version of him yeah you. [ __ ] him before you [ __ ] out all the. people in the room probably he's first. mhm Mone second you're third and Andreas. is fourth I'm okay with that female yeah. okay I'm not why that pisses me off shut. the [ __ ] up dude I'm a babe dude you're. not. someone could I I I'll I'll even double. down on it right you're pissing me off.

dude right I don't even know. sometimes this is going to start a fight. I sometimes I look at your wife and I. want to go oh no like. how do you do it oh my I think I did. mention it to her and she goes I just. have my ways of doing it you know she. never [ __ ] said that something like. that yeah it's [ __ ] bu but you're a. lovely guy let me say something that. intro I gave you. tonight [ __ ] you.

dude shut the [ __ ] up did I give you a. good intro tonight it was fake but it. was good yeah it was good fake and you. what you you smiled at me what you. smiled at me yeah I say you son of a. [ __ ] no you didn't you hugged me I. hugged you and you go I'll see you later. pal yeah that's what you said to me did. you not I did that's what we are you're. one of my best friends there we go so. why don't you want to [ __ ]. me because of that your tone I get it.

yeah yeah yeah also like a girl imagine. a girl version where are you going oh. I'm in I'm going to be in Mazon playing. golf for 5 days it's like where how fun. for you you don't have to talk to me. about anything I get I go I am out of. your hair we just don't have those. things in common that's the best part. you don't want a girl that has stuff in. Comm with you you just said you don't. want to talk to them about anything I. just want somebody to know what I know. just date me. please. okay no but Carlos if you find a girl.

that's like you but not as high and has. hair so not. him you in terms of like because I feel. like when we're on the road you can. handle my [ __ ] yeah you have a you. pay him to handle your [ __ ] he's. always been like that he can withstand. Insanity because because he absorbs it. mcon can't do it he's like a deer in. head lights yeah he's not he smiles and. you know mean you know who Mone is M's. the guy that forgets fries with a burger. yeah that's that guy [ __ ] I want that.

guy and Carlos does not Carlos will. forget both but he wouldn't forget one. and Andre. boring boring what the [ __ ] if you call. him after n he won't pick up no chance. not a chance not a chance he literally. said tonight I go we're GNA be recording. lat he goes I will be in my pj but I. will be there yeah my B but anyway you. wear pajamas to bed at night I do you. [ __ ] nerd Carlos let me ask you you. put on literal pajamas [ __ ] nerd. Carlos out of girls if we were all girls.

who would you date. first if it was in it if I was in it for. the long haul and I wanted to like. really settle down yeah yeah how. philosophical the Long Haul I really. think I would date Andrew yeah for the. Long Haul it's obvious dude but the. reason why security no no no not. security it's more that Andrew it's the. golfing and stuff it's like go do your. thing and I'll like we go do our. separate things but the reason why is. I'll have side girls like you oh you're. going to be hooking up with him behind.

my back exactly all right yeah no you. know you know what you don't understand. is imagine I'm a girl okay so if I'm not. golfing what am I doing at home we [ __ ]. all the time yeah we hang we no we [ __ ]. all the time you guys are going to get. bored you're going to get bored I can. feel it but I can [ __ ] two people though. if I [ __ ] Andrew and then he goes in. golfs and matalon I can [ __ ] you and. yeah I don't want to [ __ ] you with. behind his what am I doing in Mason by. the way Happ golfing I wish there's not.

a golf course there there is I've never. been y'all wouldn't know about each. other I would lie and keep oh so we. don't have this we're not too bad we'd. run into each other at Trader Joe's one. day right and he would be on the phone. FaceTiming with you and I'd go is that. also your dick smells it would be on us. yeah smell 100% Carlos I go yeah be real. your dick smells dude it doesn't smell. yeah D I'll put cologne on it yeah I. smell it on you is that Carlos yeah yeah. how oh yeah okay yeah is that Carlos.

yeah it was in my mouth I just I I bre I. breathed out sorry me too. hey you know what appeared like one of. those Ghostbusters ghosts the green the. green one the green. smog yeah all right well we're gonna. find a lady for you no I'm done I I I. I'm being I'm not I want to find a lady. for you email please email Carlos in the. booth at no no Carlos in the booth it. doesn't work attracted to any of them. Carlos in the booth gmail.com they have. tattoos on their neck Carlos in the.

booth at gmail.com please email Carlos. in the booth turn down anybody and send. us a video of your proposal of why you. want to date Bob and maybe we'll get you. on a good you never know dude you could. there's so many fish out there you just. got to put your line in the water okay. thank you for being a bad. friend. woo. woo. yeah.

woo.