Judge Rudy's Court | Ep 44 | Bad Friends

you two are bad friends who are these. two idiots. white dude i'm an asian dude you two. are disgusting well you two or something. we're bad. friends are we ready to go you guys we. are okay we don't. i've been watching that show queen's. gambit oh. and he he looks like both george and him.

look like people that should be in that. show george looks like the creepy guy. that tries to. have sex with her at the beginning right. right right right right. and also um what's his name andres. andreas. andrews looks like a guy that like you. know he's at the booth signing people in. and he's questioning her like you know i. mean like. are girls even allowed to play chess. yeah right yeah and then he gets his ass. kicked he's that he has that kind of. like. yeah i mean who do you guys think you. are in the show do you think you're. somebody else george that's who you are.

i'm the swab guy is there a swag. no there's not a suave you're not suave. you're not suave. at all george you're greasy dude you're. clumsy you're super clumsy. yeah you use car salesman you are a used. car sometimes that's what you are george. i used cars. but why what what uh what dealership by. the way oh not even used. [ __ ] cars yeah like old like they're. like 80 years from now chunky the future. junkyard priuses from now he'll be sorry. you're a junkyard car dealer george and.

and andres is um. andres's uh the guy who plays fast jazz. really well. fast chance really well no you're not i. i play fast chess you're the guy in 20. moves she beat you. yeah and then you the next episode you. you're the guy that says. yeah i just decided to um become an. engineer. right like you quit because of the heat. yeah 100 what a great show. though it's a phenomenal are you. finished i'm on episode eight. love it yeah i don't know exactly what.

happens um. the uh didn't you finish rude yeah i did. yes she did. so good it really is a well-done show so. wait are you watching it by yourself or. you guys are watching it together. watching with kalyla. oh okay she's already seen it yeah so. we're just kind of re-watching it but. what a good show did you watch it are. you watching it again. no no you're over it once is enough i. can't watch a show more. i know people that do that all the time. they're like i'm rewatching the office. from the start i'm like. well i've seen i've seen every disaster. movie probably a thousand times like. i've seen. volcano oh yeah about probably 200 times.

i've seen. um deep impact a thousand times what. about twister. that's not i'm not i don't know it's a. good movie though it's okay. really yeah i i think the graphics. aren't as good yeah well. of the time it was very pretty good what. was that what was the worst. what's the worst movie that you've. watched multiple times and you don't. know why. the core the core yeah what is that. i don't know what that is so the core is. a. and you the core is a disaster movie. right.

and so you know so when you when you. when you think of disaster movies that. think. what meteor right right. let's see tsunami the the sort of. tsunami the world ending. the world ending right or some sort of. thing right so. they came out of they came um they ran. out of ideas. hollywood so they went what do we do. what do we do and so they so. this one is um the core of the earth. it just stopped spinning what. yeah like the world ceases to spin no.

just the core you know the molten. the metallic you know i mean it just. stops spinning. and then and then gravity dissipates and. then the solar winds come and destroy. the earth. so the only way they can so the only way. they could save. right is to get to the core of the earth. right. and get it to spin again. what yeah so they create a ship to go. into the. they have great actors hillary swank. what aaron eckhart. when did this come out i know 12 years.

ago maybe. who else um wait wait wait stanley tucci. spoiler alert spoiler alert. how did they get it to spin what was. their you gotta go to the center of the. earth. and run as fast as you can around it. that you release um. hussain bolt what does this name. saddam hussein bolt no what's steve. what's his name who's. usain bolt yeah usain bolt yeah have him. run yeah right. right no they put um michael phelps mike. no they put. little nucleus charges and detonate it.

so it would so it would create an. inertia to keep yeah. [Music]. right it didn't work it does that what a. bad this is such a bad moment i know. but it works that's what i love about it. fancy you you laughed because you've. seen this movie. i i have yeah and did you like it it's a. bad movie but i. enjoyed it like would you watch it again. like but like bob has seen it more than. once. yeah i know the director too so it's a. director what does he do now he's an.

industrial film for southwest airlines. no he's a he's a postmates driver. he's a pretty cool guy what does he do. now he does tv shows what kind. of yeah yeah what kind he was doing the. board. oh that's a really good show that's a. good show. guys shut it up you [ __ ] shut up. george you car sale yeah you want a. prius a thousand years from now though. yeah we'll call you we'll give you a. ring [ __ ] piece of [ __ ] let's get. let's give a shout out right now to my. pup cub i brought cubs. cubby to the universe because why i.

brought cubby because i got a facetime. call from kalila and you. three nights ago yeah and the argument. that was going on inside of your house. was. what go ahead. what do you mean you had an argument. that i don't love my dog. that's not what the argument was that's. what she said i understand that but. see now i have to share my world view. when it comes to. white people and their dogs okay go. ahead i don't want to share that. because it's going to cause people anger.

between diversity between me and the. whites the whites don't like you. we took a vote the whites i've been down. many white vaginas. we like you okay you can make fun of us. go ahead it's not making fun of me it's. just. something that i you think whites aren't. good with animals no that's not what i'm. saying wait so remember the [ __ ] lady. jane whatever. when lived in the jungles and lived with. the monkeys jane goodall yeah yeah jane. goodall mm-hmm yeah so i know they love. them. so what is it yeah but it's like um we. love them too much.

no is okay do you ever want to see the. movie signs. with the water what no. and like shyamalan's movies yeah yeah. the water wasn't it water that killed. that oh yeah the aliens yeah yeah yeah. it was like the worst you could. see water right you can because everyone. remembers that was the. worst plot they were like and it and all. it is is. water that hurts them it's like what. that's what [ __ ]. m night shyamalan can't swing away right. the baseball bat thing amazing movie. it was so bad andres help.

fancy help i really like this movie yeah. i i think movie is amazing. it was the one of the worst movies he. made because you don't what no it's not. it's. one it's the one it's it's a sleeper. it's the were you gonna say it's the one. the sixth sense is i think the one no i. think that science is his best movie and. then six cents a second. you're [ __ ] insane such a good. [ __ ] movie. bobby you're doing this just to argue. with me i swear to god. i [ __ ] love sides you think that's. better than the success 100 the only.

thing that's. the sign that sixth sense had that was. great was the greatest plot twist tony. colette. yeah so annoying you never saw that. coming. you never saw the plot twisted coming. yeah the surprise but dude. that's the whole thing i didn't but my. when my brother and i watched signs. right i'm not kidding you dude my. brother and i. held each other's hand yeah right i did. the movie. and we started shaking right and we look. you know how you cry in a movie. right sure you can't really see the.

tears until you lock eyes and the glare. of the [ __ ]. screen hits my [ __ ] your tears yeah. and i saw my brother's tears. and we looked at each other and we we. started shaking. and then we burst into laughter because. it looked ridiculous that we were crying. at the same time. and then we my brother and i remember us. walking down the street. yeah for like two hours going is that. the best movie we've ever seen. so yeah no way yeah because i'll tell. you why i like the movie and this is. okay it's fancy is sixth sense better.

than signs or sign. yes thank you i didn't think so but can. i have my own opinion. no yes you know i'll tell you i'll tell. you why i also i like it all right. and this is the thing it like the movie. right it's it's like. because my brother this is gonna sound. so dumb i don't want to dive into this. but i'm going to. right please just defend myself right. but because my brother and i. right i i don't even speak for my. brother i'm speaking for myself all. right. that i believe in some weird thing which. is. a higher power i believe in higher power. too because of my.

but it's because of my your 12-step. product i know i'm not dumb. i know but but what i believe is is that. um this is what i believe is that i. believe that everything happens for a. reason there are no coincidences. right and it's like there have been too. many things in my own personal life and. i'll give you an examples right. if i can give you a real deep example of. why i believe right. that i'm taken care of you know what i. mean and i don't believe in jesus. i just believe that when i see a. coincidence i think that it's like. something that was meant to be.

right sure so that's what the movie is. about. yes right so the switch for me of i. didn't know. that the little cups of water around the. [ __ ] living room. that the little girl leaves around all. the time. that you know i mean that that was all. meant to be to kill the aliens right. and they the kid had asthma right so. that the poison doesn't go. what spoiler [ __ ] you if you ever seen. signs. it you could [ __ ] yourself he's right. that's true.

he's right yeah no no you're right if. you haven't seen signs by now. yeah yeah go [ __ ] [ __ ] jump off a. roof thank you yeah right so. all those little things when it happened. at the end yes. in retrospect it's cheesy beyonce all. right but. at the time right my brother and i went. that's why the water right and then now. oh yeah. right and then you know and then the mom. being clinging to the tree when the the. car hit the. mom he was injured she's dying right. right and she goes swinging away merrell. swing.

all right that's why she said and he. grabbed the thing so all that stuff at. the time. when i was watching it it hit me because. it i. related to it it seems like they just. inserted a bunch of stuff that like. he you know what it seems like that that. sixth sense was such a banger. it was such a banger and they were like. dude you got your sophomore album's got. to be as good as the freshman one yeah. and then he just like compiled a bunch. of weird dumb tropes like and the boy. has asthma and the aliens killed him. it was like he was just fl it was the. third movie by the way whatever. it was just bad unbreakable was great. unbreakable was good okay.

did you like the village love the. village okay loved it. we're on the outside most people hated. it fancy bee i like it a lot too. okay because people hate the village did. you see the village. no no she didn't watch anything the. village people hated. but i was like why i think this is great. one thing about signs. is now let's go back to the dog thing. okay right yeah. is and whenever when my brother and i. saw it i remember thinking to myself. yeah that's that's about right why. when they were all so the aliens are.

attacking yeah right. and you know now um mel gibson joaquin. and the two kids are in the house. they boarded everything up right and. then. they go oh [ __ ] we forgot the dog that. was outside by the barn. and then they can hear the aliens. killing the dog. and in my head is like i thought that's. about right. because in our home right. i leave jules out first before the. [ __ ] animals well yeah but that no.

see but that's right you're right that's. that's ridiculous people are going to. get left behind. right right right. [Laughter]. right so no but so when you're watching. the movie and you see the dog getting. killed out by the barn. yeah in my head i'm like yeah they would. leave the dog out you know what i mean. whereas in independence day right. when um i forgot her name will smith's. um she was a she was a stripper in the. movie what's her name. his girlfriend in the movie oh yeah what. is her name um. oh god i i like her and i forgot her.

name oh i can't think of her i can see. her face i could draw a photo. of his fox oh my god. annoying it's so annoying vivica a fox. right remember. when they called their dog because the. aliens were attacking. they were in that you know um under that. tunnel or whatever. and their car was under and they're like. come on i feel like black people would. do that. come on it's not a blessing people would. just leave that's so not true. yeah we would do i would do anything for. that dog anything i'm in love i'm in.

love with that dog all right let me ask. you this. right if um would you give up a liver to. put that into that. 100 well no you can't live without your. liver what do you mean would i give up. like a. what do people get kidney a kidney yeah. of course of course. you would live all right and if they. said you might die from giving up the. kidney i go. sure whatever how about they say that. pandemic is i don't. [ __ ] care anymore inside your penis. yeah. right yeah inside your penis there is a. blood vessel. right yeah and inside that blood vessel.

there's a sack. this is just right there's a little sack. in a blood festival okay right. that has because he's dying from a. really specific disease that's a girl. that's a girl your girl is you're she's. dying from a very specific disease right. the only way we can save this dog right. we have to get to that little sack right. and then. um and take the the the juice and the. the material in there and we have to. create a. antidote but the only way you can do. that is we have to completely chop your. dig off. right do you put it back are you guys. gonna put it back on we can't put it. back it just destroys the penis.

well okay is there a way for me to get a. cadaver penis i can i get another guy's. penis no the only way we could do we. could like. take the remains and take the like the. you know the sensational parts of sure. and tuck it in give me a vagina for your. [ __ ] done. you wouldn't do that i would love to. have a vagina i've had a dick for 37. years let me [ __ ] it. yes be real okay good yes. but my point is is that so those are my. reasons you think you think. whites are yes you think you've got that. what did you say.

when me and kalila called you what did. you say uh something racist. yeah you did what did i say you says we. eat our dogs. you do you guys eat dogs no we don't. have whites ever been have. is there any historical reference of a. white eating a dog. no is there something we think okay. no no are there historical references of. asians eating dogs. yes today this moment. i'm saying in this time period yeah okay. so end of story i've seen the videos on.

youtube. have you watched the videos on youtube. um i've seen. you've seen it yeah okay well wait in. real life yeah yeah no you've seen. no you've i don't want to talk eaten in. real life yeah gross done. i'm done and you're a bad people that's. exploring and you're bad people explore. it. and how did you see it it was in my um. hut it was in one of her houses. in my house it was in my house it was my. dog. wait a minute in your village just out. in the street yeah.

um it was a str stray dog oh well that. makes it okay. yeah tell me what happened and then my. cousin said that. they were going to eat a dog and they. invited me. oh it was like a dinner party everybody. you get like an invitation in the mail. and evite yeah yeah yeah. we'd love for you to join us for dog. this evening do you even know what kind. it was. no what did you say was it. i said no have you did did you ever have. you ever tasted pup. no you don't want to you think that's.

wrong yeah but then people there like if. you voiced your opinion if you were like. hey i don't think that's okay to talk. did they get mad at you. yeah because it seemed normal there so. wow see that's. crazy it's a cultural thing but here's. the deal we eat cow here all the time. and indians it's sacred so it's. disrespectful to the animal. so we say it's crazy only because it's. the viewpoint that we have. yeah so but when you say though that. like asians do it some asians have. lots not here in america though not in.

america you don't think they bring that. with them they bring everything else. they don't bring it like it's like some. sort of like dance or something culture. yeah that's a cultural thing i mean or. like do you think do you think some. people would would come over here and do. it over here in secret. maybe yeah what yeah it's not out of the. realm of reality. why because they just because they fly. to a different place it's like well. we're just gonna stop. doing what we used to do yeah that's. crazy yeah. how many cultures did your dad and your. mom do and what are your cultural things. that your dad and your mom do. that uh was was from korea that they.

wanted to make sure that they passed. along and they had here. there were things that they did right. yeah but we do it here as well that's my. point. beat their kids you mean yes oh you're. saying americans. yeah yeah so they're like crossing. crosstalk is there is there nothing. indicative of korean culture that your. parents brought over here that we don't. do here culturally that they wanted to. instill in you guys. yeah they're i mean maybe it's the. things around food. yeah like what like you know when you go. into by the way things around.

food dogs food right so the thing we're. talking about is the thing that that. exists. yeah you would see when you came to my. house you we had a normal looking. kitchen aside from the fact that. there was like squid and stuff being. hanging. we have squid dried squid hanging all. over the place. what yeah as if it's like mistletoe or. something. right but instead of kissing under you. that you eat it wait a minute. drying it out just dry squishy yeah you. just have squid or laying around. what why why is later i don't know why.

doesn't it just go in a fridge or. something i have no idea i never had. okay this is my point so to them drying. out a golden retriever is not that big. of a deal. right and then you would and it was. embarrassing like when i had my white. friends over right. i would never wanted to open our. refrigerator because then you have to. explain. things uh that yeah right so then they. would open up and they would see you. would see like a gigantic. orange jug right and they're like what. is that. i could say you you hit the jar right. and an eyeball with fupa.

it's hard to explain no but it's but but. see there's cultural things that exist. when people come over. or you go to like you know what when you. guys eat fish. right when we eat fish like. my mom and my dad they go right to. eyeballs right they eat the worst part. first yeah. and they stick in their mouth and it's. like it's like yeah i mean you don't do. that. no way no no way only torso. this episode is sponsored by blue. i know it it's a little blue thing you.

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that we even have uh an extra one that i. won't give out to anybody because. i love it to give it to friends when. they come over it's earth friendly it's. cruelty free and by the way. i used to sweat every single night i'm. not kidding i don't sweat anymore we. i stand by this product so much it's. eyebrows look at my eyebrows this is. from using a buffy. um we both love it i have given it to. bob and i use the uh. i use the duvet cover as well no more. night sweats it's 100 plant-based. it's breathable it keeps you comfy at. night it's made from. eucalyptus fiber inside and out it's. softer than cotton.

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yeah you've been served okay this is so. dumb. you've been served i've been served okay. this is a bit that's why they're wearing. suits i don't know yeah it's exactly. what it is. you think i'm a dumb dumb yeah i come in. here they're wearing raggedy tag [ __ ]. suits. hey first of all those are expensive. those are joseph a bank suits. yeah those were two for eight for eight. cents what happened. this is the plaintiff andrew santito. he claims his podcast co-star refuses to.

come to the show on time. even though he promised he would. he's suing for an apology. this is the defendant robert lee. [Music]. he says the plaintiff is a big ginger. bully who always bosses him around. he contends that being late isn't his. fault and it's not a big deal. he's accused of being a selfish man baby.

[Music]. do not throw these papers away there are. official papers that affects your rights. okay. you may show up to the bad friends of. trial on december 14th. you're here legal assistance we have. provided you with the best. public defender we could not apologize. you got you have a pd right there i. don't need you can i defend myself. oh my how offensive you don't want to. use the public defender that [ __ ].

piece of [ __ ] no i don't really. pay for him i don't care what i have to. use them no. all right i'm going to keep it myself. would you like to be a part of my. council then george. two lawyers i've got two lawyers you. know what i i i would like an outside. um help i want jules to be my lawyer. well she that's judge that's judge judge. jewell. oh she's the judge oh my god i'll defend. myself yeah. i i still don't know what the apology. the complaint for an apology facts. the plaintiff states that the following. facts are true robert lee. is always late which shows a lack of.

respect. for the plaintiff causing him under i. was here on time too undue stress. i was young i know but this is from all. the previous times i know so. that's right there a fact i'll use that. in the case. i will okay. soon let's start the honorable uh judge. jewel should we all rise all rise for. the honorable judge jules. there you go tell us when to sit you. miss it okay thank you thank you. the being the meeting can now start oh.

great okay thank you. and your honor your honor go ahead don't. make fun of my lawyer. or a bad start. [Laughter]. so we're here because my client uh mr. andrew santino the great andrew santino. very punctual. andrew santino has been constantly. under distress because. the defendant here always gets laid. comes late it's always.

not on time basically and uh we want a. formal. apology that's right get off your phone. we're in the middle of court yeah. i'm i am literally having i have. evidence. yes so i'm gathering evidence. so man look at my phone please i mean. that's the [ __ ] joke. i have evidence on the phone right so. may i look at my phone as long as it's. all evidence yeah. as long as it's all evidence okay i i. could i'll show you. okay and it's coming in okay so go ahead.

uh your honor um i'd like to present my. first uh. my lawyer and i would like to present. our first witness it's uh. george kimmel uh no relation to any of. the famous kimmels. um george would you say. on average uh i am on time. to the podcast um i'm uh swarmed. yeah yeah yeah you're under oath you're. put your hand on your penis real fast. put your hand and put your right hand in.

your penis. and say i do solemnly swear to tell the. truth the holder is not the mother truth. fantastic and if you don't so. uh george would you say that i'm i'm not. even done with the witness i can't cross. my. no i'm not done with the witness would. you say that i'm typically on time. i would say mr santino is typically five. to 15 minutes early. would you say that uh the defendant is. not on time. usually i would. that's a matter of depending it depends. what you mean by on time.

thank you such a [ __ ] yeah thank you. would you would you say okay you're. correct would you would you. still call your witness a [ __ ] by the. way if i said it to you. oh i i know but i'm the defendant he. can't hear us all right i looked over. like in court. uh would you say that mr kimmel. that bobby um is it comes after the. arranged time that we've agreed to start. usually yes yes okay okay. and do you think mr kimmel that uh. playing. video games uh waiting for uber.

uh losing your keys or. uh other um reasons like that. are uh a good reason to miss. the time well we life happens mr. rossende. i believe we have all been through a. time where we've. been forced my life to be late for. something. have you ever uh okay. even when you're made across exactly. even when he's a witness he's still.

taking your side yeah. may i cross your exam yeah sure at this. point doesn't matter let me ask you. george. um before we even started this podcast. did andrew santino say that. i'll take charge right i will i'll set. everything up don't worry about it bobby. you know i mean just show up show up on. time. no let me finish just show up on time. let's just show up right. you show up on time to ask you this. george show up on time. can he not interrupt me do you get it.

connected to the judge judge can you not. interrupt me so i can can. i thank you so much. ordering the court don't tell her what. to say order in the court. right i'll take a cheeseburger fries. didn't andrew say. right that before we started bad friends. you know way back in the day. right he would take care of everything. right and he would set everything up by. all the equipment and do all the things. right did you not say that objection. your honor the lawyer is leading. the witness hell yeah okay. what it's leading you're leading okay.

let me ask you this okay. bobby you may not lead the way. okay bro i hope let me ask you this. question we would we would this would be. bad. i when i show up even late. very very have i showed up on time let. me ask you that before. yes you were on time today exactly i was. on time today right. and as soon as i showed up we ready to. go or did we wait about 10-15 minutes. before we started.

we were ready to go yeah but did we. start when did we start though. we were ready to go i know but did we. start right when we when we walked in or. is there like a 5-10 minute. time when you said when he goes or. smokes a cigarette objection. that's a real question or do we start. right away the cameras are rolling when. you walk in. right but do it just when we start which. way we're trying to go here when we. when we start when do we start do we. start as soon as i walk through that. door. no we don't we don't don't argue.

why are you arguing with the witness all. right you can't say that to him okay do. not start on time that's always a little. we need to warm up. you know it's a comedy podcast we need. to warm up a little bit beforehand. that's exactly what i'm saying. okay and the second question i want to. ask you okay is is that. you know my lifestyle correct yeah right. so let me ask you this this question. okay. if somebody had a um let's say somebody. had. a um a day job right they you know they. woke up they were a teacher they which. you don't. seven in the morning which you don't and.

and they and they and they. and they um they end their work around. five or six pm they go home right. right and then if that person was asked. to show up on time to their job you. wake up right yeah so that's the way. they. they live right and they wake up at one. in the morning to do another job but. my point being is that my point though. being is.

what you asked me to do right doesn't. literally fit. into the time frame of when i'm awake. and when i'm you know i mean. it goes against you know i mean mike. might the clock in which i live. streamer your a job is to play video. games. uh witness witness witness objection. your honor. this is this is [ __ ] oh okay yes. this is what happens uh for not using a. lawyer. uh mr lee no i'm still i'm fine i'm fine.

i'm completely fine yeah you're. crumbling. no go ahead attorney go ahead can they. make another statement that's her name. that attorney can speak. the attorney can you may i speak now. though thank you just said no opening. no dude that's that way it doesn't. respect the judge. i'm not a lawyer i'm representing myself. don't i haven't been. already represented. don't i have an opening statement that i. can have. may i have my opening statement no no. you have to listen to the [ __ ] judge. oh i don't get my opening statement.

you've been talking for five minutes. that happens at the beginning yeah you. cannot have an opening. in the middle all right judge please. please dictate who you'd like to talk. attorney can speak now go ahead okay i. would like to call another witness. i'm i'm calling uh judge rudy. to the stand oh interesting twist okay. this is the eminence. yeah uh so. rudy uh have you experienced uh. basically lameness sturdiness because of.

tito bobby not being on time yes. really that did happen like once in a. blue moon or this mostly like a daily. thing. a daily thing really i have no more. questions your honor. really all right so dude i got the best. lawyer let me ask you i got the best. example let me cross examine all right. all right before we came today. right yeah what were you doing.

i was sleeping you were sleeping right. yeah teenager i know. so did i have to wake you up right. to get you ready to come here yeah if i. hadn't done that would you have slept. through it. i would have waited for the kalila i. know but. if but you can hit it if auntie delilah. didn't say anything. right which she wasn't going to if i. didn't and didn't wake you up. right would you have showed up on time. would you have slept through it.

i wouldn't have stepped through it. because i have to go with you. i understand that but i had to awaken it. so if i hadn't woken you up right. you would have slept through the time. maybe yes. no no don't leave yes just leave okay. let me let me remind you maybe. that uh juju rudy is not uh. accused of anything here that's right. and let me ask you another thing. all right many times. right i have to wait for you downstairs. i do. i go i'll meet you downstairs i say that.

to you a lot. i'll meet you downstairs and you come. down right and then you kind of slouch. your shoulders. and eventually you end up there right. let me ask you that do you think that. that kind of behavior. might feed into the reason why that we. are late to this podcast. no because you always say 15 minutes and. you can come down. right but by me saying that though means. that i am. you know i mean i am aware of the time. right i'm aware that we have. we have a destination to go to right.

right and i'm the one that's always. having to tell you. right when when we have to leave when we. have to go. right you have no awareness i know. what's going on. all right all right i have to speak. okay go ahead because i depend on you. i'm i'm awake. at eight in the morning and we record at. three. and you wake up at like 2 50. no i don't you do you do that's working.

all right i also like to say something. may i say something right this is your. closing statement right now. i'll do my photo this is it right now. you've got it. when i was i think i was in. seventh grade okay. i used to take the school bus to school. like most kids. i did i know but what the [ __ ] you don't. know. relevance no i know i i did this is very.

relevant let me. explain my point okay get it down yeah. so one morning how long was the bus the. bus ride was probably 20 minutes long oh. the physical bus how big was it it. wasn't a short bus. and you're i mean he's. making assumptions that i'm [ __ ]. it was a smaller box excuse me it was a. smaller box language. language but that by him asking me your. honor. your honor that he wants to [ __ ]. that's. disgusting i have some sort of mentally.

[ __ ]. objection i [ __ ] find that to be. a blessing your honor how [ __ ]. terrible you're honorable. i am simply arrested i was simply asking. you about buses in san diego your honor. i have no idea what they're like down. there. i'm not privy to san diego business. curated me close your statement. i'm gonna finish all right so um. one morning i woke up five minutes late. i missed the [ __ ] bus. okay so on the car ride my mom had to.

drive into school on the. car wait this really did happen on the. car ride to school right. that boss that i missed by five minutes. got in a car an act accident. a truck hit it and four kids went to the. emergency room. one kid almost died okay. and that traumatic um. experience right makes me always like. not want to show up exactly on time it's. one of those like um. it's it's just a traumatic effect that's.

affected my my. my daily adult life and it's like. everywhere i go. i'm always about five or ten minutes. late because i think that i just never. really dealt with that you know um. with that um experience oh what am what. a manipulative [ __ ]. what a your what's a manipulative story. what do you. it's a story it was really good it was. but it was really good manipulation. right so what i'm saying to you right. now is that um.

is that your closing statement you're. done you you have to be done you're. dragging. your honor you're honest. russia man i'm my [ __ ] closing. statement no you already have you don't. give you a time limit for closing. yes the judge can no she can't say i've. never seen that in any [ __ ] court the.

[ __ ] show. i'm the judge i can say anything [ __ ]. man you know what you've yeah. oh. [Laughter]. yeah that'll make up for it closing.

argument. is this um. but the times the times that these. podcasts occur. right are times where it's very 4 p.m. right very convenient for me 4 p.m. audience. we shoot this show all right number two. that's number two it's 7 00 p.m right. now and a traumatic experience growing. up right. that um i haven't really dealt with that. has caused me to be five or ten minutes. late. to every occasion number three i would. argue that uh.

me being late doesn't really have an. effect on. on the anybody else but you right it. does really have an effect on his life. he's a. millionaire because of podcasting. right he has five seconds yeah no not. five seconds. he makes a lot of money on the road. right and this is. just all fun and games and it doesn't. affect him right. he's a multi-millionaire because of that. right and what i'm saying to do what i. want to know.

and i i believe that this accusation. right it's just a part of his. entitlement. right to put down a minority a minority. a minority comic right and this is just. his way right so let's put that. into put that in the books okay do you. have that recorded all right thank you. objection your honor i would think we. should strike this statement of the. books. okay no um. attorney you can give me my closing.

statement attorney go ahead. your honor we have abandoned evidence. that the accused doesn't even. want to refute the accusations. you're saying you're delayed [ __ ]. talk this is not perry mason. [Laughter]. this is real life you cannot come here. and just say a bunch of [ __ ]. your honor.

he is late he's been proven late. 45 episodes were recorded. he's been on time twice. so life can happen once or twice but not. 42 times. yeah so we are my client is entitled to. an apology. and i'm sure you will find it in your. heart. and in your brain your honor that all. the you know you can cut through his. [ __ ]. and and tell it as it is uh my my client.

deserves an apology. your honor that's our closing statement. your honor also let me just say no. you're done. all right you made it. the meeting is closed hit it harder hit. it shut up okay you're done. okay your honor please give us the. judgment okay. i have decided that andrew won the case. and andrew deserves an apology.

thank you your honor we won we won. andres. yes yes all right go ahead. when you're ready i'd rather go to. prison. [Laughter]. your honor your honor if he doesn't. apologize what kind of sentence is i'd. rather. i'll rather go to prison your honor what. kind of sentence can we guarantee. that's a death penalty what kind of. sentence can we guarantee. um if he doesn't. make an apology he has to take out.

all of the trashes and hide all his. video games. hide all the video games no. those aren't that's not gonna happen. until and you will tell auntie kalila. that that he went and got something when. he wasn't supposed to. even if it's not true right yeah good. okay. no i'd rather i'd rather suffer those. consequences really. yeah you're not gonna apologize you lost. the case fair and square i don't care. i gave you an attorney we gave you a. public defender i refused.

wow yeah okay okay you sure loser dude. i'm not a sort of loser no no you are. because you lost the case fair and. square i served you. we sued you. [Laughter]. [ __ ] you you get the [ __ ] out of your. foreign you know. if you call hey. i want to see his green card i i i also. want to do. run i want to see a [ __ ] green card. run. babel let me say something man you know.

i've i. i've been trying babble yeah and i'm. trying to learn um. russian are you really yeah okay so i'm. learning spanish which is a lot easier. it's really hard i don't know why you. would take on russia. it's it's it's easy to use no it is and. i'm absorbing the information i think. it's easy to use but russia is a tough. language i went with spanish because. it's everywhere. bobby's learning russian because he. wants to go back to the old country yeah. a lot of people think that you're korean. but you're actually russian i am russian. well we're going to get you there at. some point it's a language learning. method designed to get you speaking a.

new language within. weeks okay 10 to 15 minute lessons it's. a joke if me and this idiot can do it. you can do it i promise it's so simple. you start with what words and phrases. bob. and then but it's also words and phrases. that you can that. normal people use no it's just like. clinical it's not clinical. sentences it's like natural way a. natural way that people in that. you know me language it's not uh where. is the library you don't you're not. going to get uh biblically. it's stuff where are you guys headed. today are we having a drink it's.

it's great phrase actually it's super. useful uh when you read it. because you can tell that it's written. by someone who's gone these other ones. are. so fake no one's gonna want to know uh. where the. where the bank is like where is the bank. they also have like 10 million. subscriptions now so it's so proven. people love it. yeah 14 different languages spanish. french italian german uh the prime ones. and uh look it's incredible it's easy to. use if you want to. use learn another language uh learn it. with babel speak a language like you. always wanted to. right now babel is offering our.

listeners three months for free. with the purchase of a three-month. subscription with the promo code bad. friends. visit babel.com use the promo code bad. friends for your three month. subscription that's babel. b-a-b-b-e-l.com promo code. bad friends babble language for life. headspace. you know what life is stressful let me. see it's very it's because i've had a. lot of stress. the pandy's been a bummer for all of us. guys we you know what i've been using. huh headspace man yeah that's what i'm i. can i say that because i've been using. headspace. i know but i've been using it too and. it's so it's dude it's so relaxing.

it is and i get into like a flotation. cloud space if you need guided. meditation which i do because i have. issues when i leave bad friends. and i got to tell you it's the only. meditation app that's advancing the. field of mindfulness through meditation. clinically validated research this isn't. haphui this isn't snake oil they even. have this thing called. can i just interrupt you sure they have. this three-minute sos. meditation that's right that's like. three minutes long and it really does. get you right in that. no it does i used to i used to eat about. 30 melatonin pills to fall asleep at.

night or have those z-coils and. and now i'm still doing a few but also. headspace has a wind-down session which. lets you. uh get to sleep and i gotta tell you it. works extremely well. uh parents if you've got little little. uh bambinos little ninos. this works for them as well also you. know the have you ever heard of the. phrase um the proof is in the pudding. yeah of course yeah right six hundred. thousand five star reviews. and over 60 million downloads guys you. deserve to feel happier and uh we all do. genuinely during this time.

you deserve to feel happier and. healthier headspace is meditation made. simple go to headspace.com. bad friends that's headspace.com bad. friends. for a free one month trial with access. to headspace full library of meditations. for every situation. it's the best deal right now you guys go. to headspace.com bad friends today. i want to tell you something i'm a. little i was concerned about when i. brought the pup in. go ahead when we take do you guys have. this with your dogs when you take them. on road trips do you know. about anal secretions yeah i get them. all the time. no the dog.

she will you'll we'll be sitting in the. car going on like a long drive yeah. and then all of a sudden you'll be like. yeah. yeah julio does that we have a dog named. julia that does that we. and the puppy does it too we took her we. took her into the vet because we were. like hey man. she's like it's the foulest it's the. foulest smelling [ __ ] on earth it. doesn't smell like poop. it smells like you know what it smells. like. [ __ ] dirty vagina oh yeah yeah it. smells like dirty vagina yeah. it does.

[Laughter]. but when she does it she's done it on my. shirts and ruined shirts. because it's when she's anxious when. she's like like this when there's a lot. of action. she gets a little bit like what's going. on so i was afraid i was gonna get some. secret on the shirt. julio does it yeah i just can't believe. that like. the traumatic experience i had as a kid. on the bus didn't sway the [ __ ] can i. can i tell you something yeah. because that really did happen it was. really good though that was an. incredible defense that was really good.

it didn't. help but it was good but why wouldn't. that help because you called her a [ __ ]. oh that's right that's right you can't. call the judge a [ __ ]. like that's like rule number one don't. call the judge and don't make fun of the. judge. have you ever seen those videos of. people and court being [ __ ] at. judges and the judge is like. yeah i was just gonna give you like two. years but now it's like six like are you. dumb. yeah i'm the one that doles out the. thing yeah you're right yeah you're done. for with that dude yeah. you can't do that stuff you got to be. sweet to the judge yeah.

but i have to say that um i know that. was all. you know for fun it was not that's a. real lawsuit pal. all right pal but um i have to say that. um. you'll never get an apology from me you. did already on an episode you did. already say i'm sorry we went through. this already. we've already done this did it really. yeah we've already done this well you. get one. you're such a turd i'm not that's not. true you apologized the other day via. text. over some something you said sorry what. was it i'm not going to talk about it. but you said sorry.

what the apology was you said okay i'm. sorry you said i'm sorry and we will. i'll go back yeah you can look it up. yeah let me look it up and if it's too. sensitive because i feel like it's a. sensitive is that a sensitive thing i. mean i don't think you should talk about. it live on air. i won't but let's go to your thing but. you said okay sorry. and you know what it was about it's oh. yeah sorry hey not gonna. oh yeah yeah i know what it is yeah i. just think that. between you and i there's the utmost. trust. okay okay i'm not even gonna i'm not i. would like it i'm not even here. okay for that for what you serve me.

papers and we'll go over it i will. serve me papers i will and we'll go over. here i'll get an apology no. serve me papers all right serve me. papers [ __ ]. go through the right channels i'm going. to say this right you have a lot of. nerve. you [ __ ] roly-poly you have so many. names okay. yeah because i have a lot you've got a. lot of nerve you have a lot of nerve. you garbage human. [Laughter]. you're a garbage human right you have a. lot of anger. and a lot of resentment and it's ugly.

cool normal face. jacket and north face beanie you [ __ ]. loser from 20 years ago. oh why this is not in fashion it hasn't. been for 20 years you [ __ ] loser. what are you an rei [ __ ] catalog grow. up. dork yeah are you a surfer. with your [ __ ] you know what i mean. loose [ __ ] sweatshirt. and your little [ __ ] ocean symbol on. your [ __ ] you've never served. a day in your life you piece of [ __ ]. what does this have to do with surfing. right it's just the uh it's the beach.

bum it looks like a surfer. shirt surfers don't wear shirts in the. water you [ __ ] idiot yeah but you're. if you're gonna wear a puffy jacket that. should have. sleeves you look like you're in a. [ __ ] surf cabana. loser just wear. [ __ ] because if they look at this albino. piece of [ __ ] at the [ __ ] beach. thinking that he could serve no get the. [ __ ] go to the snow. yeah i would right and you know what i'd. wear a north face coat that had sleeves. on it you [ __ ] idiot.

incomplete coat an incomplete coat. that's what you're wearing this is a. very beautiful attire. a vest what a dumb idea get a coat. all right we're done we're done with. what. done with what bad all right i'm done. with that yeah but we're not doing. i'll tell you this there are no more. apologies in this house. if you want an apology for me you can. serve me papers no no let's be real. i'm not gonna serve you papers okay okay. okay. i'm not gonna ever do this because it's.

ridiculous all right no it was official. but resentful. and you didn't obey the judge's rules. that's what's annoying. the judge made a judgment call you. stepped into the courtroom. what the judge doesn't realize is the. judge lives with me. right and what the judge doesn't realize. is that there are real life consequences. yeah oh there are oh there are because. let me say this. like what what are you gonna do. she knows she has to smell things. can you imagine smell things the power.

that uh the judge has with her aunt over. you. the judge's court is way deeper than. your [ __ ]. yeah that's right think deeply about. that do something goof bally with her i. wish you you wouldn't have done this. either because. um you know this has been a very. depressing week for me why. i just been really depressed well tell. me why there's a lot of elements. okay let's put away the jokes and put. away the joke the elements and. and it's like then let's be serious. difficult week okay let's be serious. down you know me and depressed what. happened just like almost.

borderline suicidal and then i come into. this podcast. no i'm just being real right okay it's. the light of the end at the end of the. tunnel. yeah i get to see my body yeah and then. you serve me papers. i'm being real dude it like it's like oh. this week. it's worse than i thought it was going. to be you're so dramatic. no i'm not being dramatic it's it's been. such you've asked my therapist yesterday. take time out yeah check it take a time. out so what i'm saying is take your time. out real fast. let me just finish my point do you know. what those are what these are cameras.

yeah this is a comedy show it's fake i. understand the papers are fake it. doesn't matter the j. you know that's not a judge you know. that's that's just rudy jules yeah. this isn't real i understand you know. that this isn't real do you know that. george isn't a star witness. do you know that andreas not only. doesn't have his his law degree. he's not even a [ __ ] citizen in the. u.s they're gonna [ __ ] us if you joke. around about that they're gonna find out. they're gonna come and they're gonna. deport him do you realize that. okay because he's not even legally. supposed to be here let me tell you. something go ahead.

when you're on a scene when you're in a. you know you you're a tv. show guy right right you're an. outdoor yes right you get what you're. right yeah you're. and it's all fun and games when you're. acting in a scene yes and sometimes. there's improvised moments yeah i was in. an improvised scene in a movie once. right. and the co-star or the guy was doing the. scene with goes and he improvised. something he goes. yeah that's right fatty oh and that. hurts right right and you laugh you go. that was a good one right and then you. get the [ __ ] van you get in the van.

and they drive you to your car yeah. right and you're just. fatty it hit home yeah because you took. a piece of reality yeah. it no into it it still hurts because it. was. it's even if the even though it's fun. and games even though it's fake it's. even though it's fake it was real a. little bit of true to. truth okay right little kernels of truth. okay. so i'm just letting you know playing a. victim i'm not playing a victim you are. i had a really bad week i'm saying to. you as a friend we're done with the. comedy [ __ ] right now yeah all the jokes. are done.

that was all fake this was all for fun. okay this is all a joke. tell me why you had a bad week i didn't. i didn't have a bad week it's been a. great week. go [ __ ] yourselves that's what i'm. saying. that was great you're dealing with. something above you man. you're above me yeah you're killing with. something more twisted in what way. in every way my friend how are you above. me i'm kidding yeah. yeah you're [ __ ] right you are doing. it again you're [ __ ] right you are. doing it. you're not above [ __ ] right you're not.

above [ __ ] you lean back. i'm above you pocahontas take a [ __ ]. walk. all right take ten thousand steps a day. you're not the fawns. you want to be the fan so bad yeah yeah. you're not that guy i am the fine i know. you're not. of this show you're joni and who are you. right chachi yeah [ __ ] [ __ ]. cha-chi dude. and i'm [ __ ] joanie you know who you. are what in small wonder. oh here we go here we go.

it has to be a small one go ahead i'm. the small one. [ __ ] you you're the little girl yeah. yeah no no. you're facts of life oh who am i in the. corki. facts of life hey yeah you know. who's the there was a girl on facts of. life can i say something by the way yeah. before we get into facts of life what. all this stuff yeah. i love you guys [ __ ] you i love you.

it's so dumb dude i love you i'm not. buying it i love you yeah yeah. what do you do this is the happiest part. of my day oh. god here we go no it really is you know. what i said on the set of dave. i said they said are you what are you. what are you doing on your day off i. said i'm. i'm working what are you organizing i'm. shooting i'm doing bad friends. and they go what is it yeah they said. what is that i said it's a podcast and. then two of the crew guys were like. we love it we listened to it i said oh. yeah yeah and then and then i said it's. it's my favorite thing to do it's more. fun than any tv job i've ever had it's. more fun than any job i've ever had.

because i tell you what happened to me. yeah i mean that's hawaii this is my. favorite thing on earth when i was in. hawaii. yeah because i don't you didn't text me. but um. a lot of friends did because last. saturday was my a birthday time out real. quick yeah. i called you in hawaii we facetimed i. know i'm just saying that this saturday. oh for your anniversary it was my a. anniversary so what do you mean hawaii. you weren't in hawaii this saturday. no but i'm going to tell you what. happened before hawaii that relates to. that but i'm just saying saturday okay. well don't bury me on [ __ ] that isn't.

real i did i called you the whole time. when you're in hawaii but no. no i know it's like you know okay so i. didn't call you on your on you're on. your own. birthday if i if it's my birthday and. you called me. i call you two months later it doesn't. matter you should call me on my birthday. i call you on your birthday every year. what are you talking about. we celebrate i'm done i'm not let me. finish my [ __ ] thing right fine i. didn't do your aaa birthday i missed it. go ahead your aaa. uh yeah whatever it's just it's a. non-event for you it's an anniversary. yeah has to do with my life but anyway. um. don't roll your eyes it's so dope when.

you roll your eyes you roll it all over. the [ __ ] place i love it. it's silly like a silly billy so um. you really are a silly billy but um so. when i was on set. a crew member like he had tattoos on his. neck and you know into his wrist was he. uh. a local hawaiian guy yeah but he was um. half asian. looking so half cool half asian. okay so um that's so dumb but um really. play on words very good but um.

stumbling no get it out so he goes i'm. gonna get it out right tattoos on he. says hey man uh. here you go and he had a box. like one of those like it was almost as. if there was gonna be a ring in it. and i lifted it and there was a golden. one year anniversary. congratulations you know what i mean. sobriety sobriety. and i took it i go i don't even know you. man he goes yeah but i listen to bad. friends and stuff and i know that it was.

your um. your birthday is coming up and i wanted. to give you that because it. you know i'm sober too and um really. inspire me you know. and i looked at him and i go you know. it's so funny. even the guy that i do with bad friends. with. would never do this it wouldn't even. cross his mind because he's such a. self-serving selfish kind of a guy not. be real i just said to him do yourself. check. yourself i know that about you i know. you're the fun-loving guy on the thing. and i go i know.

i'm the fun like the loving guy on the. thing i know i'm the i'm the bride. the joy right i'm the joy of the show. right and i go i'm the one that like. gives people the the warm feelings all. right and he gives the cold pricklys and. so i looked i. i grabbed the thing right and i stuck it. right in my [ __ ] front pocket. and i gave the guy like a little you. know coveted hug you know i mean a. little yes. he had his mask on and whatnot yeah and. go thank you for doing something that. andrew would never do. and uh we departed and that's what i. love about human beings let me tell you. something what i love about human beings.

when i was in. denver comedy works i was at uh yeah. it's a true story. it's a hundred true story i was moved to. tears because a man who says he suffers. from mental. health issues because i've spoken very. honestly about my mental health issues. i've said it openly i have depression i. have anxiety i suffer from it severely. and i've gotten help over the years and. it's been very hard i've connected with. my fans and i've said. my truth about it and it's very hard for. me and a man came up to me. and he was a veteran a veteran for this. country fought for this country okay. not a tattoo neck crew guy from a. [ __ ] movie shoot this is a veteran. who fought for this [ __ ] country for.

the freedoms of this country. okay yeah and this guy gave me his patch. his patch. uh he gave me a patch off his [ __ ]. jacket no a patch. no a patch that was awarded to him from. the military u.s [ __ ] military okay. piece of [ __ ] a patch that he gave to me. and he said this meant so much to me to. get this. and i want to give it to you because. you've meant so much to me and that's a. reflection of how i feel. can i finish my [ __ ] story not a. patch but go ahead uh. everyone gets a patch no go ahead not. this not this patch that i have in my. home not this not everyone gets this.

pass. every boy scout gets a little patch and. let me tell you something oh your. defendants are you're comparing the boy. scouts to the us military that's smart. um smart move and uh and what he said to. me was this means a lot to me. and i said oh thank you and he said and. you mean a lot to me and what you've. done for me. has helped and i said i appreciate that. and he said uh particularly what you do. um you know with bobby i think the show. is really great and i said oh thank you. so much. and he said i want you to take this. patch and remember me every time you do. the show think about. think about me and just remember.

that i would have killed that. [Laughter]. when i was over there and i gave him a. big hug and he kept walking. and i'll never i'll never forget that. the korean war huh. korean war yeah yeah it was green more. vet. and that's what he said those are not my. words he said that you know that you. know. the americans were in cahoots with south. korea right so they were working. together yeah but he's fighting the. north. he just knew you who you he just knows. how what kind of he made an assumption. that i was north.

uh-huh that sort of didn't happen i. think by the way you look more than. anything else. and by the way that story did happen. that's where it didn't happen and the. medal that i got from the guy. did happen this story is real okay this. is a real thing yeah. okay what he said at the end and i i. have a story after that. right i'm bummed that my grandfather. didn't kill that guy. yeah well he was too weak he probably. would have never got it done. there's hostility no there's none at all. in fact this is a very fun episode.

ellen degeneres got covered i know she. did but i sat down the car today. i was with the girls getting christmas. trees um. which is something that jules the judge. you know i mean. didn't really remember judge jules did. you guys get a real tree. yeah how many four hundred dollars a. [ __ ] a tree but why do you say it's. so negative. i'm just saying that you would think. that when you do good things to the. people that you love that's in your. house. that they would defend you in a court. situation. okay okay let me let me make a side note.

that story i told was. 96 percent true what was false about it. i'll leave it up the audience they said. he wouldn't kill me i don't know what he. said yeah that's what it is anyway um. uh he was a great man that gave me a. patch off his jacket and uh. uh so anyway to today wait two two real. trees. yeah when we find out that uh um we got. a fakie covet got. coveted got ellen ellington covent. no i thought that doesn't surprise me. why why do you say that.

she just seems like she would have like. you know. these social distancing gatherings that. are like she's still having parties. yeah yeah you mean like every hollywood. person is doing yeah some of them. are you know i mean and like some of. them aren't you know i mean i feel like. some. you mean are um isolating. yeah but here's it's a reflection of. what people are doing in america a lot. of people. you mean are still going to you know i. mean. shin digs and and gatherings and some. people aren't right. yeah but i mean she seems like somebody.

that would oh you think so yeah. she claims she does she has no idea how. she got it yeah that's what they say i. mean i. you know i was supposed to do a movie. yesterday right. you can't go because what he got can't. covet cancelled yeah wait who. oh dermer you know durmer direct is. directing this movie everybody shout out. to everybody brandon dermer. and um i was supposed to do he wrote me. a scene in it. yeah and um i was about to drive over. there and he calls me. late wednesday night and he goes. somebody tells you. lead actress's sister that who they live.

together scott covet and. i can't you know yeah that's great but. at least they're doing testing. yeah i didn't get to do his movie you'll. get to do it they'll pick it back up no. no no they're not done what do you mean. it's never you got somebody else like. that's in the bubble to do it. oh right they don't want to bring you. into this thing oh my god. do you think there's going to be a movie. or a tv show that shot with all actors. that have covered. what if they would have been like an. all-covered cast that had it or have it.

at the same time. both whatever if you're like [ __ ] it. let's just do an all cove let's just. cast people that have had it or have it. right now. [Laughter]. you should the whole crew should have it. everyone should have it and then you're. like well we're doing an all covered. movie. they should do an all hiv movie then. they did philadelphia yeah but they. didn't actually have it. tom got it tom hank scott oh he did it. yeah he got it for the role yep. oh he's doing that died that guy commits. yeah he's so good. speaking of which tom hanks was the. first guy that got covered when this. remember that he was like the first. oh you know how shocking that remember. we were like he's gonna die we didn't.

know much about it so annoyed. [ __ ] hank yeah and then i remember. mikhail arteta got it he's a coach. anyway um no i know i know who that is. yeah. i know who that is he got it and he. lived can we answer answer the phone no. but my. my mom her text is she texts me every. day. and it's like i don't know what the [ __ ]. to say what does she say. sorry i'm a little late i watched. davinci code. good night love mom wait did you have a.

conversation plan and she just bailed. oh she's saying sorry i'm late texting. you she texts me every time. right at around six yeah right. and she goes i'm a little late and a lot. of this is like. it rained today just enough to cover the. ground. love you good night two dreams and i. never know how to respond i'm like i. love you too mom. that's sweet i know but every every. single one today. partly cloudy cloudy christmas hey hey. say crowded please. okay today partly cloudy currently.

the high temperature was forecast as 81. degrees. the very good weather for me to go. outside where does she live. arizona but what part phoenix i thought. she was in northern arizona. no i mean this the watering today. the watering day oh the watering day. maybe this is the only day to go outside. freely. and enjoy it love you my son i miss you. i mean they're. that's so sweet but they don't make any. sense do you have a text chain with your. brother and your mom.

no you don't have any of those no whoa. what is that about. you don't have any communication with. your brother and your mom at the same. time. you don't have like a i haven't talked. to my mom in a year. you just she just texted you now we text. only no phone call. we haven't talked since the bts oh since. the since the bts. since the bts problem yeah why. i don't know we text every day you do. know. was it embarrassing for her like did it.

put her in a place where she felt like. i'm. i'm i'm embarrassed and mad i i think. partly. it's i think that her bts obsession has. even. gone further down the road where she's. like doing some creepy [ __ ] like she has. cutouts and stuff and she's kissing them. and dating them yeah maybe. yeah i mean so what i'm saying is that i. think she doesn't want to. talk about it so she doesn't call and i. don't call. why don't you call and just break that. ice because she texts me every day. yeah i know but call her and say like we. should start having conversations. instead of just these weird texts about.

the watering outside. i know let's call her right now no i. love you call her right he's sleeping. just call her you're texting her right. now. no i'm this is from a couple hours ago. she's she's sleeping just call her i. love you hey look at me. yeah call her right now and just go i. just called to tell you i don't want to. do it right now i'll do next episode say. hi call to tell you all about. next we'll do neck episodes well for the. fans that want to know we are planning a. trip in the new year. that that'll be great so once once we. get a vax to bobo's mom. we're doing a road trip out uh to. phoenix does judge. judge rudy get to come or no i don't.

know. [Laughter]. can i show you can i list right so my. brother and i and and and. so kalila almost broke up with me last. night. shut up i'm being real no this is. annoying because now you've been [ __ ]. around all day with this stuff so. what do you mean you've made a ton of. jokes about. [ __ ] i'm depressed with tough week. what did she. is this real yeah she really tried to. break up with her she was really upset. last night. what did you do so downstairs um.

when i played war zone at one in the. morning did you hear it last night no. i went crazy you turned on the was that. you weren't no so my brother and i. and my friend um dylan who's a drummer. who's very talented 18 no 19. 30s and dylan my he's in the band. maangchi with my brother. right your brother's band your mother's. band okay so. um so we're playing war zone and. we were at the the last circle.

sure okay so there's five people left on. the board. okay don't do this no i know this i'm. listening just go. i am i just talk slow okay no no i know. but you're like saying like even the. listeners might not know so just you're. in the last stage with dylan yeah so. dylan and. you know dylan's now down he's dead and. it's between my brother and i. and another guy and my brother every. time. right when he's in that situation he. does something like. he'll shoot at a cloud you mean. or he'll go you know he'll face the.

opposite direction and the guy will. shoot him in the back. or my brother will do something because. he can't handle the pressure. he gets nervous under pressure yeah he. goes but he always says bob. where are you that's the main thing. where are they. where are they right he doesn't know. right isn't it show you on the map where. they are yeah but he doesn't know right. but this last night he did something you. know i mean that was like. miraculous what he goes i go oh it's. steve um. it's between us and another guy but in. thinking in my head.

he's gonna die my brother and i'm gonna. have to [ __ ]. finish this guy off totally right so i. go i see my brother. you mean you know oh what going on right. right. and i see this guy come from a tree with. his gun. and my brother just goes and downs them. we win no yeah and so then we have it. recorded if you want to hear it the last. 10 seconds of it i absolutely want to. hear it so okay so um. by the way by the way by the way yeah uh. uh uh side note.

um can the other guy hear you guys. what other guy when you're like when. you're like when you're like oh there's. one guy left can he hear you guys. talking [ __ ]. you mean the other guy that we're. killing yeah no okay. so he he right so i'm gonna fast forward. this to the end put it up to the mic. we're dylan i'm.

yes. i triumphed i didn't fail. upstairs 1am.

yeah right just absorbing these screams. right. i get it that's annoying it's annoying. yeah so i go up there and. i'm like yeah i always go about when i. we win i always come up with a smile on. my face right you're gonna be like. right and she's so immediately like. she's in bed by the way. yeah so immediately my joy yeah i mean. because she doesn't really understand. you know she doesn't understand that a. 49 year old is celebrating and whenever.

one in the morning i think she gets it. it has no it has to do with it has to do. with like my brother stepping up. and growing look as your friend i think. that's an incredible moment. relationship wise relationship rise it's. terrible it's annoying she's right right. it's 1am. right so you know i mean it was a. feeling of complete joy. and freedom and being proud punished. right and then all of a sudden being. punished for feeling that. and then what was you but but did you. not say i'm sorry. we were just having a good time it was. me and steve and she was no i mean you.

have to say. stuff stuff like um well i guess the. next time i play. i won't say nothing yeah i mean. you tried that you know i mean i said. it's you say that. she goes you say that you keep doing. well i'll just be more mindful. about you know i mean my vocal range did. she say she would end the relationship. because of it. and she goes i mean she goes if this. continues i can't do it anymore. it's that type of thing really yeah. that's serious it's pretty serious well. can i offer a suggestion. stop playing no of course you're not. going to stop playing thank you that's.

insane. no way that's insane can i offer a. suggestion. sound proof the room yeah george it's. the podcast room how come you haven't. soundproofed it yet wait a minute wait a. minute time out. get in here george george get in here. get in here right now. no. george are you trying to tell me stand. over there so we can yell at you on. camera. or sit down so we can yell you on camera. yeah are you trying to tell me that. he's doing the game out of the pod room.

and it's not probably a quick to. equipped to be soundproof so he can play. video games in their after hours is that. what i'm hearing. oh i've never uh heard a request to have. a sound proof no no no. no no no no no no that's that's not. what's happening here you don't need an. attorney. these are assumptions that you should. have already what i'm hearing is. bobby's relationship is getting no. there's cracks in the concrete and. it sounds like you're the you're the. construction worker that should be. fixing them. no bobby when you broke your own screen.

who bought you a new one. that's not the point you see him. pointing his finger at you real. aggressive. let me ask you a different question let. me ask you a different question george. okay. um cubs isn't isn't um. like tiger belly and bad friends. your two biggest podcasts that you. produce yes. do you make money from those two things. yes it sure does now do you think that. if kaleila broke up with me. um right um that we would have to we. would continue tiger belly i don't think.

so and i think that i would be so. depressed. he couldn't do that can't do this show. so um. where would that leave you financially. i'm gonna buy i'm booking a uh. are you uh. i mean be real i mean think about i am. brown you're right so this is this is. straight up an emotionally abusive. relationship yeah and i'm here. for it yeah i love it so soundproof the. room that way george. we don't have to have bobby getting in. trouble for things that he shouldn't be. getting in trouble for.

because to be quite frank with you this. falls on you pal. this falls on you pal i mean you may. leave. i'm sorry i want to see what i want to. say so mean. to our listeners though too george. you're the best can i see something from. my listeners what. you know a lot of listeners i know that. they think that i'm a man baby which is. true. and um i know they they do they say all. the time you're a. baby and you're a little you're 49 and. this is you know i mean and they accuse. me of like you know i mean um. just behavior behaving badly and saying. but this is the reason why.

this works look they know it's a comedy. show i know but some people don't they. they literally think grow up and all. that stuff and i want to tell those. people i will not i will not change. yeah it's a comedy show right and i'm. going to do what i'm going to do we're. going to continue to be fun working. right so go [ __ ] yourself yeah this show. is fun because we. uh love to poke fun at all this stuff uh. people aren't taking it serious and if. they are [ __ ] not my pride no. that's.

no honestly that's rude i don't give a. [ __ ] that's so rude so rude that you. wouldn't even. come up with that [ __ ] i didn't my. attorney did. you [ __ ] your attorney i didn't have a. choice and he's not gonna be returning. at all he's going to be in spain in a. week. but you know what uh i wasn't going to. call you out on this but i'm thinking. i'm going to throw you under the bus. i caught her eating a booger today when. i. [Laughter]. oh boy yeah oh boy and i wasn't gonna. say anything. and and i looked at you and go okay i. get what you were doing.

there was no chips there were no chips. in my mouth there was no chips no chips. there's no chips yeah what kind of chips. hold on what kind of chips. yeah potato chips yeah sure but what. brand. i forgot yeah yeah chips huh chips chips. chips you don't remember what chips you. ate yeah. i remember every chip i've ever eaten. they were like chips like salty but you. know not chips. they were air chips. [Laughter]. [Music].

me shut the [ __ ] up i'm being real rudy. don't listen to him. such a piece of [ __ ] you're such a. [ __ ] intimidated mean person right. you're so mean that's right right right. now i'm just saying right now there are. no consequences but you broke my heart. you broke my [ __ ] heart that you were. side with him okay. right yeah.

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