Jake Paul Plays Volleyball & Our Worst Episode Ever | Ep 81 | Bad Friends
you two are bad friends you are these. two idiots. why dude i'm an asian dude. you two are disgusting. well you two or something we're bad. friends who's begged from hawaii who's. back from spending. dude i heard you raged huh partied hard. huh yeah tough guy huh who's a tough guy. did you get tan tough guy. yeah yeah look at her super woman. superwoman so brown.
wow you had some fun i saw on the. internet how much fun you had yeah did. you love hawaii or what i want to move. there you want to move to hawaii i want. to move to wine baby. what job are you going to get in hawaii. yeah i don't know um a life guard a lot. they pay well they do you can buy a. house with the lifeguard you can buy. anything you want if you're a lifeguard. yeah. can you save people. i'll try you'll. look at this this is this this is jules. at the party someone sent this this is.
uh. this was at the party in hawaii yeah. everyone's having a good time and rudy. first of all who the [ __ ] sleeps like. that that's insane yeah to sleep like. that. do you always sleep like that on your. stomach yeah yeah i like it really is it. like a thing you did when you were a. little kid or something when you were. like a baby maybe maybe. have you you've always slept maybe when. you're the before life you were a turtle. oh yeah yeah yeah.
that's why you want to move to hawaii. what did you do you went deep sea scoop. scuba surfing you guys saved you guys. saved a turtle no do you saved a turtle. they served a turtle we saw a monk seal. dolphins. and kept was it meditating how do you. know it's a monk. because what they call it. was there a temple i mean i i don't was. there. [Laughter]. yeah yeah. so they call they're called monk seals i.
wonder why are they peaceful yeah they. are they're very peaceful is that what. it is they don't fight they used to be. violent the regular seals are violent. and monk seals don't they have no. violence whatsoever they're buddhists. wait. there's a video there was a video of you. online. where you went diving. and you stayed under water for like a. good two minutes no that's what it. looked like yeah you can hold your. breath for a long time i was actually. surprised and then you went kind of in a. little cave was that scary no see that. would give me so much money no but. kalila and them they're real sea people.
well yeah they're well i mean the the. islands they're islands even beyond that. i think it genetically they're just sea. people you think you were born in the. sea yeah i'm a land guy. for sure without a doubt without a ton. of land you're a landlord yeah yeah yeah. deep land deep island. not even highland you should move to the. highlands maybe you don't like the water. no but they've made me go in there. before do you go do you dive down i try. what i'll do is i'll go i'm gonna do it. and then when i see them at the bottom.
yeah i'm already back in the car. so i'll go deep yeah deep during the. bottom i'm in the car playing some game. on my phone. yeah yeah that reminded me when you when. you dove down and you were it was like. in slow motion yeah it made me fee it. reminded of me of or made me feel how. long the guy an octopus teacher used to. hold his breath for you watched that. didn't you yeah and then two nights in a. row i ate octopus. good it makes it tastier good it makes.
it tastier it's so good yeah yeah we. went to the korean barbecue place that. you suggested and we had no did you go. to chosun yeah we did and we had we had. um two kinds of octopus and then. because i was with my friend emmy you. know emmy yeah yeah from the movie yeah. yeah she asked for this thing it's like. a um. octopus um potato pancake you you know. what i'm talking about yeah yeah i don't. know the name of it but you know do you. know what have you ever had that wow did. you like that korean so good you like. that korean restaurant yeah what are you. talking about. yeah yeah.
korean barbecue. is genuinely one of the best up there of. my favorite meals really oh yeah thank. you because i just i love i love that. they tell you what different kinds of. meat and she cooks it at different. temperatures love you finally the only. thing i don't like is the people is the. people. the people are annoying no the only. thing i didn't like of all the korean. stuff was um. i don't like the uh um. the macaroni salad the side bowls.
ah i don't like i don't like mayonnaise. okay yucky that's like but they bring. out a bunch of different plates no i. know the kimchi was good yeah yeah the. pickle the pickles the spicy pickles. yeah oh that stuff was so good. i love korean barbecue i do take me. whenever i see um and i maybe you can. take this the wrong way but um the truth. is that if i see him like like that the. the movie the cove. where the dolphins are being slaughtered. in that bay yeah i get hungry for.
dolphins. dolphin fish really weird it's like i. mean get hungry yeah look at all that. look at all that you can just put that. into a soup you scoop it from the bay. right boil it right there or you just or. you learn how to make a. cut a hole it really is sad have you. seen that documentary. it's not that sad no it's pretty sad. it's really sad but you know what i. i don't like hurting dogs but here's my. argument though but you can heard a lot. of other things when they say dolphins. are the smartest sea mammals they are. right they have sex for fun then why.
like for me it's like if i'm. swimming into a bay. and it's blood. there's blood yeah i'm going the other. other direction like it's like walking. down an alleyway and you see blood and. allergies you see a guy getting stabbed. yeah you would you know he's like go the. other way. just keep walking walk the other way 100. so how bright are they really well. they're going to save their friend they. want to know what is he okay yeah. they're there can they do a different. noise. yeah i don't like the kick.
do a different noise yo. what do you want don't. how's that urban. all right maybe they man maybe they. won't hey man that hurts dog hey what. wait what's that dog see don't add dog. it's a dog doing it a dog is killing the. food yeah that's why it's in it. yeah i don't know they do need a. different noise do your dolphin. that's really good that's wow that was.
really good guess what don't laugh who'd. you swim with. dolphins. did you. yeah. you swam with dolphins and there was a. baby. could you stand on their nose can they. push your feet right isn't that what. they do yeah but we didn't i did that in. mexico one time yeah i mean i don't i. was with them you know what i do yeah i. ride them you get on top oh yeah they. let me they'll stop. right now. and i'll get on their back right did you.
do. in the blowhole. well that's how i get locked into the. seat. you ride it backwards yeah you gotta. lock in yeah yeah i get locked in yeah. but dolphins are fun to ride but anyway. wait wait tell me how you rode did you. hold on to the fins. yeah you held onto the fins and it's two. dolphins right. in mexico i know this was illegal i know. this was wrong. in cabo one time or puerto vallarta. wherever we were the guy was like he's. like. okay he pushed with your with your foot.
you put your foot on his nose he pushed. you and i was like oh really is that. that's not gonna hurt and he's like no. it's okay it's okay he's okay yeah and. then i slammed my foot like against its. face why. no not on purpose yeah but like to like. get in there yeah imagine a pale red. foot. being pressed against your face how. insulting oh by the way and then what i. had to put out all this sunscreen and. the dude was like no you can't get it in. the water it's bad for the dolphin and i. was like i have to have it he's like no.
no maybe a little beat and i was like. okay. like 10 minutes. yeah yeah then i get in he's like oh. it's bad and as soon as i get in you. know the oil you can see it pool on the. top of the water yeah and he was like. he's going to kill the dog and he's. going to die yeah so he's dead now dude. i killed a dolphin i wrote him on the. nose and then i blinked dipped my [ __ ]. in there and now he's dead people are. positive sorry he's alive good now he's. dad dude he went to the cove. yeah i drank my well um.
i have a story that people don't believe. that i did because yeah i think how dumb. are you. right and um. but it's that's why i'm afraid to tell. the story because it doesn't seem like. it's real what did you do. so i was with kalyla. and we were in a hawaiian trip. but then we. ran into. a school of jellyfish. so then i had bumps from the top of my. head down to my feet where you swam into. it yeah you can see it or they're.
translucent it's a school you can see a. lot of them i don't open my eyes when. i'm in the water you don't no i'm like. you know i get scared do you open your. eyes under water. yeah we wear a mask yeah i didn't wear a. mask oh you should i was just like you. mean. you know and we but everyone ran into. them. like you carlila everyone right yeah so. we're with these two white dudes and. they're like ocean photographers mm-hmm. you know like you know like the ones. with the. with the abs the hot guys that's what i. wanted to say yeah hot guys sexy hot.
guys like surfer bros right so we were. all standing around they're like i go i. i'm so itchy. like we're all yet to do just urine. right you have to pee on yourself. but i didn't it's no so what they they. pulled their dicks out these guys yeah. and they started peeing into a cup. drink it well that's what happened so i. so what happened was no yes no so i go. oh i'm not going to do it with you guys. i'm going to go behind so i went behind. like a tree.
and i peed in the thing. and then i drank it. no and then when it came back i saw them. putting it on their body. and i go oh it goes on the body and. they're like what'd you do with it i go. i know a lot came out you know me so i. didn't even do it it's in the body it's. in the body. yeah i told that story on stage and no. one believed me i mean i believe it. knowing you i believe you believe it. yeah okay. yeah right away good yeah. i saw someone get out of the water with.
a jellyfish sting and it was so bad one. time it was huge it like welted up their. body you're lucky you didn't get like. you well the manner what what's the big. one called mana raisins that's not a. matter it's not a manta ray there's a. big one called the box jellyfish can. kill you not a box one there's one. called with an m. look it up. no yeah yeah i'm a paul manafort yeah. that's him what's it yeah paul manafort. you know him yeah. jellyfish. jellyfish m m.
jellyfish. what oh man of war man of war oh yeah. that's what i think of the man. portuguese now click on that image look. at how beautiful that is i feel like you. die from that it's cool no that one. you'll die well they call it a man of. war for. you should throw that in war at people i. don't know why do they call it that but. it sounds scary why do they call it man. of war. that is beautiful look at the colors in. that that's beautiful but if you touch. that you'll die right rude don't you. like that yeah well no if you touch the. stingers if you touch the up top itself.
it's not that bad if the stingers get. you you know what that looks like to me. uh. donald trump's penis. i always thought that donald trump's. penis was just like a man yeah yeah by. the way he would take that and spin that. he go of course it is man of war is the. most powerful jellyfish just like my. powerful penis. most powerful penis. yeah type why is it called man of war. it is very beautiful the colors of the. purple and the blue how beautiful that's. what they say right like the most. poisonous things are the prettiest.
uh it gets its name from the uppermost. polyp a gas-filled bladder or. pneumata is it dangerous man well the. the part that sits above the water and. the resembles. an old warship oh. that's cool that's pretty cool is it. dangerous the tentacles are the man of. war's second organism. sting is rarely deadly to people no see. it's not do do most deadly jellyfish the. most deadly jellyfish i want to know. which one that there it is. the box see yeah the box is the one that.
kills you instantaneously it does. yeah man look at that. this thing from a box elvis could be. enough to send you to davey jones's. locker a watery grave. [Laughter]. [Applause]. that's in that's these things are so. these things are so deadly that they say. most people. die from a small little sting yeah but. it looks deep in the water though. well they'll come no it'll come up i. mean yeah it'll come off it usually goes. down look at its eyes. those little eyeballs huh.
so wait a minute timeout though back it. up. you spent all that time in hawaii. what did you do you were gone for so. long. diving snorkeling. every day just diving and snorkeling and. um spear fishing. yeah you guys love spirits what you did. what'd you do i got three fishes which. kind of what kind. of favorite three. wait what are they called coles coles. yeah what is a cola what is that.
you can just search it up but it's like. a small one cole fish oh like that they. look so cute and you killed that guy. yeah did you eat them yeah was it good. really good yeah really good they look. here's the cutest. sea creature what is on the beach tell. pete so he can pull it up spider shell. wait spider spider spider shell eyes. spider shell eyes yeah. so look at okay so there's a shell right.
there right. not that one. how cute. it's just a shell and a pot little. eyeballs come on bro how [ __ ] cute. what does it look like look what it. looks like outside of its shell you know. i don't want to i don't want to i just. show them what it looks like. no i like it in the shell do spiders. no do outside of shell we eat that you. do [ __ ] why. look at how cute they are you can't eat. them look at little eyes out there.
oh what that it's just it's like a conch. shell it's a conch shell but they have. little eyes coming out of there i know. what but i want to see the man inside. it's probably just the eyes. that's it's just the eyes it's just two. floating eyes baby no body attached to. it yeah so you eat are they good yeah. really good yeah what you in the. philippines. really yeah so how you crack them open. and then they're like no you use like a. needle and then you stab it ew dude oh. that's the spider [ __ ] that's what they. look like is that what they look like.
what is it called the thing that we're. looking for. it's not it's not called a spider shell. just look at the eyes. just focus on the eyes and forget what. the bodies look like what the body looks. like that is cute just imagine you're. just walking. along the beach you see a shell and you. see the two little eyes sticking out. there you wouldn't eat it. no all of these i know but they're. savages map timeout yeah let's say. goodbye good night farewell adieu to the. wonderful incredible amazingly talented.
ed asner yeah he's gone do you know who. that is the actor from up do you see my. photo with him oh yeah you did the thing. that i hate when people do when they. post a photo when somebody dies like you. ever gave a [ __ ]. bro stop so annoying stop stop stop. here's here's the guy who died in me. hey this guy died and i'm also here. so annoying what i do is annoying it's. so annoying when someone posts a photo. of the guy that just died like they were. best buds.
but can i would you have ever posted. that photo if he didn't die. no well you're holding on to the photo. until he dies no no stop. stop that's dead stop stop the way the. reason why i got the [ __ ] photo right. yeah. okay there we go there's the photo bobby. with with dead ed okay so did the reason. why i got the photo this photo is off. with my twitter uh so i had already. posted it sure and i screenshot it and. repost it yeah that's number one okay. number two that wasn't my only encounter.
with the man when did you how did you. see that again i saw him before this. when so one day i get a call from the. country music channel. cmt cmt listen here a little coleridge. cmt goes we're trying to do sit cups. how about you dave tom arnold and ed. hesner perfect brothers just three bro. but. but three men and a baby one no no no so. we were in a hardware store uh-huh okay. and ed asner i work i have an accent in.
it this is back in the day when they. made me just do accents yeah i know my. name is tosho or whatever my name was. which you love by the way i love it yeah. so they had we only did a pilot but the. story lines with me and ed were like him. and i would do like they wanted to do it. edgy so him and i would do a cocaine run. and relate to work that's awesome yeah i. mean in this hardware store so i worked. with him for three weeks on that wow and. then i did that talk show with tom green. so i feel like i did know him. did he ever say anything or reach out to.
you ever again. no he didn't give a [ __ ] about no but. can i but can i say this who. no. be low stop who's bobby low can i say. can i stop i don't like booby loops stop. stop stop do i know him. but oh that little noodle. will you stop that little noodle. booby-loo. yeah no no no i like him he's good he. knew but he i love boomi. that dirty little noodle.
he remembered my foot. what. so there we go remember your foot. he remembered how disgusting your my. left foot was fungi yeah so what so when. i did the pilot he knew right and then. when i did tom green's show with him he. remembered he remembered the foot he go. and he in the show he goes get that. [ __ ] foot away from me i love that. dude okay and then afterwards we went to. um smokehouse. love smoking right that's my you know. and he had beef stroganoff. so am i allowed to [ __ ] post a photo.
no. well still no. never then so if i if i died. would you post a photo i would post i. would immediately post something and. write looking for a new co-host of bad. friends asap. i don't think he would yes i would. that's ridiculous that would be my. homage to you no what would i do post. all the photos we have together on my. phone that's what it's that's insane i. would post a photo of you and just. underneath my caption would be end game. end game yeah that's it that's it and.
the r.i.p bad friends oh no yeah yeah. but honestly rest a piece to ed asner. you of course you could post a photo it. actually was so cute and heartfelt and. sweet to. to know that he was a big comedy fan a. bunch of people have said he was big in. the comedy like knew a bunch of he loves. it. um and also i saw this video that i. wanted to show this is the best ed asner. send-off that i've ever seen okay go. ahead now go ahead look this is perfect. his nephew po i think grandson posted. this. i literally just saw it pop up.
today and it made me laugh so [ __ ]. hard. that sad look at that. oh you have any any choice words to say. [ __ ] you. you want to say it again [ __ ] you. i love you too. what a cool guy what i like about it. yeah [ __ ] you he's that guy yeah he is. ship station oh my god without ship. station we wouldn't be able to get our. merch out today how would we get the. gears to you guys yeah but because of. ship station we will rely we rely on.
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america's number one meal kit oh oh dude. up is the it made me cry. so hard that montage scene you mean. you're talking the vignette at the. beginning the montage it's called. they'll call the vignette it's called a. vignette it's a montage it's a vignette. google it. montage is a montage is a compilation of. of scenes a series of scenes yeah a. vignette is what a vignette is something. that's good it starts the film it's a. little vignette a little small slice. a brief but what i'm saying though is.
look a vignette it was a small what i'm. saying though is a montage right. here's a bunch of scenes a vignette is. one singing the the the up. can i can i tell you something yeah. we're both wrong. can i just defend my point but we're. both wrong. there was a montage in that vignette but. it's a vignette. i know what you just did i know what you. just did hello it's a montage go [ __ ]. yourself no no no there's a bunch of. scenes right through their life right.
but a monster is a montage no no there. was a montage in that little short film. that was a short film up top yeah it was. a short film it was a short. it was a short it was a part of the. [ __ ] movie it's not like the movie. like there was a short film and then the. movie started that's why it was a little. vignette. i love that one i can't believe it no no. there's a montage in that in that anyway. whatever it is. that thing the vignette the montage was. incredible it was incredible the montage. is a hotel.
it's a met the vignette is a thing is. like a sauce that you go on salad. so far off okay the vinegar you're. talking about i don't know. i don't know. but what i'm saying though it made me. cry. can we just go with the thing that the. point was the point was the point was it. made me cry it was an emotional little. journey the most emotional vignette of. the best montage ever best vignette i've. seen in a film. it made me cry yeah yeah anyone rest in. peace ed asner [ __ ] that no i love it no.
no rest in peace but let's go back to. the montage vignette you fans right. let's let's do a [ __ ] poll. is is that opening thing right a. vignette or a montage we would have to. ask fancy he'd be the only one that. would know you can't these people. they're not film students it's see how. denigrated and he how he looks down a. word a word that you don't know right. see how degrading how it looks. so what does denigrated mean putting. down. ripping apart. pushing down. listen okay see how denigrated he is to.
you all right so. you heard it you heard that somewhere. right on the radio no so i see what you. do what you're doing right now you hear. words and then you take you here because. i know you can't do that anywhere else. can you imagine on stage bobby being. like when bobby was a little boy he was. denigrated by his neighbor can you. imagine doing your set and using big. words yeah yeah. if you did your stand up and use big. words make me laugh so hard. it's so sad that when you're wrong you. have to attack in that way.
it's so you using words sad by the way. that's a comedy i'm gonna pick yeah you. just using big words okay stop. that's funny to you jules you're. grounded now listen. oh what the [ __ ] she'll go back to. hawaii she doesn't care i don't care. rest in peace ed asner we love you we. love you man. i'm so jealous that you got to work with. that [ __ ] guy. even if it was a shitty pilot. there's only a group of guys of actors. that i like want to work with because i. think they're cool or funny.
what do you mean you said it was shitty. i know but don't say it like that it was. a shitty pilot it wasn't shitty did it. go it didn't go it was shitty yeah who's. you think the country music station is. gonna pick up a show with me tom arnold. and ed esner yep. that seems like a home run it does it. seems like i would buy that in a second. yeah what shows are on cmt by the way. what's this i think it's dead now the. network's dead it is yeah there's no. more cmt how could that be country music. channels huge no dude nashville look at.
that that was a big show is cmt still. around as a network. is cmt a network i it's got to be or. well just someone bought it maybe and. they just own it. wow what. as of january 2018 approximately 92. million us homes. received cmt that's a [ __ ] load. yeah it's still around 92 million people. have cmt that means it's cancelled. country music is fun go back real fast. okay zoom in and let's just try to guess. what these shows are about this is how.
little we'll know zoom in more. what's nashville about jules do you know. rich people. that's it say no more you got it. dude perfect oh that's got to be new. because you know who those guys are. you know those guys dude perfectly like. throw a basketball off the wall and kick. a [ __ ] golf ball through a hole. okay what's sun records what's that. about. go ahead. i bet you it's a lot like music city. sun records was a historical record. company let her tell the name the show.
sorry. it's about. teenagers. trying to be singers. yep and what's music city about. get ready it's going to be a similar log. line it's about adults. trying. what's broken skull about come on let's. go three for three here. gangsters gangsters it's such an easier. joke there the easy joke would have been. ex-inmates trying to be singers. come on come on gangster is trying to be.
single thank you. dallas with dallas cowboys cheerleaders. what's wrong with you i'm on one today i. know you're hyperactive my leg is. killing me is that what happened my. sciatica is going nuts. did you sleep good last night. a little bit i was thinking about you. last night like what because of. yesterday. we can't tell anybody what happened. yesterday let's talk let's just talk. about a little bit we can. so yesterday me and andrew showed up. here. exhaust both of us exhausted for some.
reason well i would shoot an all [ __ ]. day i'm so tired and we turned the. cameras on. and fancy fancy sat there and turned. them right off yeah. are we gonna use some of that. um yeah let's cut to it right now let's. introduce. today's rudy. only be out of default. yeah because we tried we tried somebody. to find someone but we could a little. the little one we should ask the little. one again we should but instead we got. um in-house.
yeah yeah this is like reusing something. yeah this is like uh you know i was like. you know i was watching um america's got. talent today. some reruns and i thought to myself. andreas. he looks like a ventriloquist. like the dummy or the person that does. no the guy that does it like a guy that. would like focus all his attention on it. okay like let's you can can you do some. ventriloquism i don't know. that's pretty good pretty good that was. actually okay can you do it i think i. can do it hey everybody my name is.
are you ready to party what's your name. my name is. morgansen i'm hearing mo poo morgan says. mo poo yeah. all right all right. hi my name is no you're losing your lips. too much lip hey everybody my name is. andres hello fancy me. that's good is that good yeah this is. this one girl named darcy lynn. darcy lynn i don't know who that is.
she's like some. young girl that want that got the golden. bloods or years ago on um america's got. talent but she. sing there she is. she's oh i've seen her she sings through. the puppet yeah. everybody wants to rule the world that's. really good thank you can you imagine do. that do that. everybody. at the time she was like when she won at. 12 but now she's like 17. now she's 48. yeah what a weird what 16 years ago.
she's gonna start dating people at some. point then do you think she brings the. doll to the dates. well she's like she's like i'll have. spaghetti and oh. so i know but you know so there was a. black. a black ventriloquist one of the most. famous ones. willie tyler and lester oh yeah tyler. willie lester willie tyler lester are. you being real yeah being real yes so. willie tyler and lester right one time i. was on the road with them when i was. young were you open for willie tyler.
well you know how the loya comedy story. they just puts people together sure so. like i was just a regular and really so. this old you know old black guy. i mean who's um. if you go to any like back in the day. they had ventriloquist um conventions. what yeah there was like a meet-up. it was you know probably in a shitty. hotel like the hill there's really tyler. says well it's a willie tyler and lester. is his dummy yeah lester's a dummy right. but he was the biggest one so if you. would go to a ventriloquist seminar or. like i mean a convention yeah half the.
convention would be just. drapes of him photos of him because he. was the legend back in the day right. think of how much push that guy got from. like no so he told so he tells me the. story. the opposite no it's a pus. all story. so we're in the condo i'm like what do. you want to talk about it's like two in. the morning after the saturday night. after the show yeah. you go well let me tell you a story. did you do it through the dummy no no no. not lester snow lester's. in the case in this case how funny in. the middle of the story he wakes up and.
he's like let me tell you the story. so he's in his case propped up right so. he was he would tell me he told me the. story where he would go on the road back. in the 80s early 80s right and he would. meet a girl. and he had to have. lester propped up. watching him on the bed. oh my god right and just so. so just lester would just be. he's pounding away right and he's just. like there and like he goes some girls. didn't like it no [ __ ].
tyler yeah i would have just if i was a. girl i would just. throw like during just throwing it off. the bed no what if what if some girls. did like it though. what if they like talk dirty to me and. he's like yeah girl and they're like. through leicester no or would have. lester had a dick. oh my god like willy pulled it down a. little wooden pinocchio. yeah. and she starts blowing. she's just blowing leicester. he's like yeah you like it. yeah you like it yeah. do you like it yeah yeah yeah that's so.
creepy creepy to have that dog by the. way do your dogs ever watch you guys. have sex no we kick them out of the room. you do every time oh yeah because my. dogs sometimes they jump up and you just. got to let them watch no my dogs um are. protective over kalila so they feel like. you're attacking no so if i'm hugging. her. right yeah the dogs go crazy they start. biting at my ankles. well you do look like you might smother. her oh come on man what if i see you on. top and i'm a dog i'd be like i got off. of her yeah so if the dogs were in the.
room they'd be biting on my neck and. like barking it would be chaos do you do. you guys have dogs. i do do you let the dog watch you guys. hook up no pull the mic closer to your. face rudy yeah you don't even know what. to do i mean god damn i'm here for. [ __ ] time i feel uncomfortable here. it's like i'm i feel like we're. uncomfortable with you there as well. yeah yeah yeah you're doing a great job. though. yeah and we. meandered for for an hour and a half it. was so short and it got to the point. where like an hour in. we were both thinking it but like we.
never said anything. and then eventually it's like somebody i. don't know who said it but. this sucks we both did there was a point. in the same god this is bad and you're. like this is really bad. but we walked away from it i'm glad we. walked away from it i think fancy's. energy there was was he's getting. this whole this whole battle but this. whole battle with george thing that he's. got going on it's put him in a weird. place he's getting real cocky he's. wearing brighter shirts he's showing up. a little bit late pete's pete's doing a. pete are you doing almost all the work. now.
and all of it david's dumped on me. fancy's getting a little too [ __ ] you. know balloon-headed about the whole yeah. i trust pete moore. why do you think that is i always go. down to an apocalyptic moment. and you have your team your squad yeah. right and. immediately fancy would not be a part of. it yeah well he wouldn't be what would. he offer. nothing he's not going to hunt or bother. complaining right i mean all these the. zombies are. so crazy too many out there they're.
gonna buy yeah yeah my wife will eat a. lot you know oh he don't but he'll beat. me yeah yeah yeah he complained the. whole time he's like get the [ __ ]. logs like we told you dude we gotta. start fire. right you know pete pete pete would like. he'd come up with the stuff like he. would behead two zombies. right and walk around you know how they. did in the walking dead walk around with. them yeah. yeah he would come up with things yeah. he's a smart guy yeah and he's a thick. boy i bet he could take a punch. yeah if we got into a big fight you know. yeah could you take a hit.
oh hell yeah i used to box. did you really that's right you think. you can beat jake paul. i think so you know how you know jake. paul. fought woodley last night. you sad did you watch. it's a mockery of the sport. i mean is it i guess i don't know what. is it anymore for me it's it's you're a. big boxing fan. it's not just i'm a boxing fan but i. just feel like it's like. you know first of all.
he fought you know um ben askren askren. as well right and before that and it's. like you know that's not their skill set. right i think that if jake you're tough. mma. yeah but those guys would need to train. for 10 years to get to the training that. they did that's right so he doesn't he. he shouldn't win in a fight situation i. know but that's why they say it's equal. that's why they're saying it's equal. because these guys have boxing and jiu. jitsu in their training it doesn't. matter it because it's like imagine like. it seems fair it was a pretty fair fight.
it was a pretty fair fight but but. tyrone isn't using his skill set ground. and pound i know but neither but jake. jake can't do it so that's what i'm. saying so he's brand new so they're both. entering at a zero they're all both. centering zero it's like this it's like. taking a guy that's a professional. tennis player and another tennis player. going. i i don't know how to serve. no we're gonna take that out no that's. not true jake was never a [ __ ] it's. like taking it this is like taking a. professional basketball player and.
making him play volleyball because. that's an element of basketball's. jumping right and blocking yeah there's. a lot of similarities and then taking a. guy who's never played professional. anything and just trained to be a. volleyball player for two years and. you're like go head to head that's. exactly what it's like there's only some. elements of the sport. of mma that make it into boxing and jake. has none of the professionalism so he's. just been training just for one item so. it's pretty even keeled i know but the. fight showed how good it was tyrone. woodley is.
his whole career is focused on yeah he's. not focused on just boxing right right. he's focused on jiu jitsu that's my. point but you have to take that away. because then it would be unfair because. jake's done none of that so it's only. fair if they're both entering at kind of. an evening i guess my question is like. why does tyrone and ben ask when you. need to do it i know for the money but. that's why it's gross. but what are you gonna say if somebody. came to you. and said bobby we want you to do. um this corporate gig this corporate.
stand-up gig on a [ __ ] cruise ship. nobody there is under 75 and they're all. white and they all and they are so. [ __ ] racist they hate they hate. asians i mean this is called this this. boat is called the kung flu cruise okay. right so what are you asking me and. we're going to give you 50 million for. an hour can you come. and i know i'm gonna bomb you're not. just gonna bomb they're gonna boo you. they'll they're probably gonna try to. attack you a little bit. yeah you would. there's no way i would do it money.
they're gonna do it it's money those. guys i don't even know what they got. what did those guys get paid can you. google that i'm sure the the [ __ ]. check that tyrone got was like. insane. in i mean it was disgusting how could. you turn it down at some point yeah what. did tyrone woodley make. what is this one website estimates paul. is guaranteed a million and will double. that. uh with his share of the pay-per-view. money woodley uh half that he got a half. a million for the fight and then. doubling that to a million after the. pay-per-view money is counted so he gets. a million bucks.
not including all of the other [ __ ]. promotions those guys are making so much. money on the side. and i think that's wrong. it's not wrong it doesn't seem worth it. what do you mean they made a [ __ ] load. of money on that thing. tyrone woodley listen tywin woodley for. the last four ufc fights that he fought. he lost. right yeah. dana white was like he's done that's why. he needs this i know but it's like a sad. ending to an illustrious career but.
isn't that don't we all kind of have a. little bit of a sad ending no. i mean you you do you're gonna end up. doing bad [ __ ] when it's all over we all. are gonna make bad movies and tv shows. when it's all over. i do those now. you jump in the shark of your yeah i. wasn't doing it now but is it bad it's. not. um. it's like it's like what would you. rather him walk away maybe i okay. completely from this. okay so imagine you and i right yeah. right and um let's suppose a lifetime.
movie came up to you and we'll give you. a million dollars to this really shitty. tasteless. you know i mean. um. lifetime movie would you do it no. exactly that's what that is i'm not at. the end of my career he can figure it. out there's other things he could do he. tried that's why he's been a broadcaster. right so he could have started a podcast. are you his agent no he's he probably. tried a bunch of stuff and he was like. [ __ ] it i'll fight this he's not even. over he just ended his [ __ ] ufc i. know and he must be a little bit nervous.
why is he jumping in the ring with this. kid i don't know somebody has to talk to. him and go this is not a good thing. because he lost right i know but well. yeah that's yes yes but no but yes but. look at it like this you don't know his. private life he could be blowing money. he could be in such debt dude i just. heard a [ __ ] rapper on the radio. whose name was like. young blood yah or some [ __ ] and the. [ __ ] radio host was like do you know. he has eight kids by five different. women and he's under 40. how the [ __ ] do you pay for all those. kids. right you don't know he's like he might.
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you do right yeah i follow everybody but. today you know because it's like bobby. bobby doesn't even follow me you don't. follow fans i don't really follow you no. i will. i will you follow george and you don't. follow me so oh yeah oh what about the. [ __ ] [ __ ] i was doing for you for the. last month yeah that's true but he got. you so many followers. you're right you're forgiven wait a. minute you're forgiven wait a minute let. me see how many how many followers does. george do you just fancy have now can i. tell you what happens we can take those. away pal i know can i tell you what. happened today though yeah what so.
36 000. i was watching um cnn because of the the. hurricane. ida is it ida yeah i love disasters me. too don't you. well it's coming back right yeah it's. going to ruin the gulf is it maybe is it. in um i'm watching oh so i'm watching. the cnns and. um i hear. stubbo. what stubbo. stub hoe stubbo like not from the tv. though. right my dog stubs is like sitting next.
to me uh-huh and i'm completely naked. just on your floor. no just on it on a seat in front of the. tv in the living room. oh i know and i hear snow. right. so i go what the [ __ ] like i'm freaking. out. and i look under the [ __ ] you know so. we have the tv and there's like a um. cabinet underneath it yes. and on top of my playstation. there's a little white thing with a blue.
light on it it's a camera it's a camera. so they're spying on you with your. little penis on the couch but all. weekend yeah i was doing weird [ __ ]. what have you been doing no but i what i. do is i like put on the music. no put on the music right i don't wear. clothes right and i'll just start you. know what i mean dancing dancing in the. living room with the dogs and stuff well. who has access to this just kalila or. when i call kalala i go. she's. laughing and i'm like.
is what's. are you talking through this little. device like yeah we've been staring at. you all weekend oh my god and now i. turned it toward the wall good yeah wait. rudy had to see you like that i don't. think it was rudy i pray to god she. didn't have to see you like that but. it's like tell me what. now i think why did it happen there's. other cameras in there there's gotta be. why does she need to spy on you oh it's. for just for the dogs i don't know i. don't know man that seems. weird she misses you. or no i think it's that she thinks that.
i'm doing stuff that's like scandalous. what would you be doing. having people over having like you know. orgies no. [Music]. touching the dogs inappropriately. did you do something you weren't. supposed to do. well i do i mm-hmm. no well let's okay yeah it's not animal. cruelty. i'll leave it i'm feeding them let's. just say that. oh [ __ ]. is that your dog texting you. somebody but my mom it like i'll just.
read you it's texas don't make it like. it's a bad thing i love it. but it's like. she sends me these. because these are these poems. oh i like the poems however hard the day. must have been today go to sleep with a. positive attitude to make tomorrow's day. more fruitful good night that's. beautiful it's dumb. [ __ ] you that's beautiful understand. what that means really because it's in. english yeah oh what is it in korean i. don't know. but she sends me and then she sends me.
this. the world can be amazing when you're. slightly strained. in fact i know but. look at how [ __ ] like. i don't know who this these people are. that's the doors yeah and then it's like. when you're straight here's another one. imagine if someone would have loved you. the way you love them. it could have changed everything like. what the [ __ ] you. talking about you [ __ ] idiot that's. giving her don't say that. [Laughter]. that's giving her something to care i. love you mom yeah she doesn't listen to.
this she doesn't listen to this this. gives her hope for the new day no i love. it but it's like um does it do but i. never send her a like a thing back you. don't ever respond no i respond with. just texts send her back a poem i love. you mommy i love you so much let's write. let's write your mama poem right now no. way she's not. that's the best part yeah but it's got. to be in this style if you got to put it. on a car like a me me no we don't have. time let's just make one up for her. right now let's text her right now. something sweet all right what is it.
okay so let's say uh let's get this i. feel comfortable with this i don't know. why it's fine i'm not going to say. anything gross or mean. go ahead. um. when life. in. life when life. when life. interludes. interludes yeah. with your consciousness. yep. when life. interludes with your consciousness. you must persevere you don't know how to.
spell that yeah wait consciously yeah. but they have spell check if i'm close. it'll let you my life inter wait when. life interludes with consciousness you. must persevere you must. persevere. until the warmth wait hold on. yeah you're right i don't know how to. spell perseverance. you're absolutely right you must push. through no persevere how do you spell it. per. pe i did that already. sa.
oh there it is. when life. interludes with consciousness. you must persevere. and let the light and let the light. oh no i'm sorry no and follow the light. and follow no that's i don't want her to. die. is that a death thing yeah yeah to. follow the light and she's gonna go okay. papi and she's gonna close her eyes and. she'll follow like she's been dead. but i mean i don't if she dies from it. i'll be so mad if we set this and she. dies immediately yeah that's incredible.
all right let's do it yep so. it's worth it's worth it it's worth the. benefit it's definitely worth a bit so. when life interludes with no i can't say. it when life interludes with. consciousness you must persevere. this doesn't make any sense okay. baby. until. until the. lord. until the lord until the lord. confines you. blesses you so. blesses you.
until the lord blesses you so read it. out loud. i'm sorry for the sin i don't know why. when life interludes with consciousness. you must persevere until the lord. blesses you so. perfect. by the way that'll end up i feel like. that's in a t-shirt in korea somewhere. love you mom love you love you love us. say i love us love us what doesn't make. any sense say i love us i love us. yeah like you love her love for you and. she's not it's it's too impersonal get.
and do a kiss do kiss lips no that's. it's incest. it's his nest i'll do a heart. do like a do the i'm going to say love. you i can't do the eggs do eggplant. water where it's the wet water. like this. exactly right. okay. wow. [Laughter]. you know how good i am at that. the rhythm is good yeah one girl tried.
to hold me in just grab your butt yeah. she goes no she wanted my baby i could. feel it really yeah that's a and i. always announce it loudly yeah i'm about. to come well that's i go. yeah right before i i started pulling. out she and i got out you smoothly got. out i think i nutted on her inner thigh. like. and i got out i was like you try to get. me you're not going to get me. he doesn't young blood yo johan doesn't. know how to do that i don't know what. his name is.
obviously not or obviously he doesn't. give a [ __ ]. he just doesn't give a [ __ ] yeah it. feels good to nut inside i mean we. shouldn't be talking this in front of. jules but. let me say something i mean you said it. by the way his name is oh money bag yo. okay money back yellow all right so. listen up money bag yo wherever you are. i know you're listening. stop coming inside of these chicks yeah. but it's not only that there's a money. bag yo it's it's let me look at me look. at me right now does it feel good to nut. inside.
with no condom yeah jules get out of. here get out of here. it feels good right let's let's do the. pg let's do like the pg. so does it feel good to ejaculate to. relieve yourself without a condom to. relieve yourself. peeing that's like peeing okay and that. does feel good. does it feel good to have unprotected. sex and and and finish inside orgasm. finish yourself it feels great. phenomenal let me ask you this no. another different question go ahead does. it feel good. relieving yourself with your hand.
when you pull out yeah of course now. what's the difference it's like. let's say um well the difference is i. know pretty big. i don't think so it's pretty big no. because the emptiness inside is the same. when it's over when it's over that's the. thing women don't comprehend yeah. there's a moment that we have emptiness. inside sad you know there's an emptiness. inside after i masturbate of course. every i'm just. what you know this is what i did because. you just killed 10 000 people yeah not. only that but this is what i do i do it.
and the first thing i do is i look at my. hands. and no i look like spider-man after a. bad day. yeah like it didn't work one day in the. [ __ ] web damn it yeah so it's like. you know like the thing was clogged in. this thing yeah right so it's that's. what it looks like oh it doesn't look. like the end of a soap dispenser has. like. yeah. right so i'm like oh it didn't work you. know and then it's like it's dripping. and i don't clean it right away what no. no. oh yeah what do you do you hang out with.
it. well it's like it's not like as if like. it's an interesting thing no it's not. yeah yeah yeah you put it on a. microscope no. so i i look at it and i sometimes do. this with my hands right like you're wet. like you have webbed and it creates it. creates like a bat wing. right and i'll just. like and look at it right. and then but the the feeling inside is. so empty yeah it's sad it's so sad am. there for like five minutes five minutes. yeah and i'll just do this empty right. [ __ ] dude but it's the same feeling when.
you come inside i mean ejaculate inside. a woman no it's not there's an emptiness. inside yeah but you don't have but you. don't have to no it's not what does that. happen is that every time do you a lot. of times. i don't feel sad or empty when it's over. like when i'm over and i ejaculate i. scoop some out and i still do it. [Laughter]. with my. it's a little it's it's but there's. something sad and empty about it. yeah you know what i'm saying i don't. know why you're arguing well no i'm.
saying masturbating is sad and empty. that's the like when you were young and. used to jerk off what did you do. magazine sock what did you do. well the the the wall. i'm sorry and my mother my partner would. shoot on the wall my poor mother of all. the places that would be like okay no. because i had this re i had this duran. duran poster. and you were really into duran duran yes. so you would go but it was the rio. poster. but it was framed. so if you saw my bedroom so you have the.
bed which is a twin single. a single. no it was a single it's a twin bed. okay okay. yeah so that that wasn't in the back. that was so your frame thing right. that's hot to you. but it looked like. she. was crying [ __ ]. oh my god bobby right so it's like i. would smear it like after i was done i. would just not even look i would just. smear it on there right gross.
it dries yellow no so like shut up all. right don't look at me like that right. she's disappointed yeah yeah so and then. my mom this is what you came back every. six months. would be like bobby what is why is so. yellow you know what i mean that's art. mom yeah and she would have to use a. [ __ ] uh like a [ __ ] like a. whistleblower no razor blade and chisel. it off oh my god. that's true though. i never used a sock. never no i was just.
like you know magazines always for me. always magazines. what do you mean. victoria's secret. i could not masturbate to that. really yeah when i was in high school. what were you dr what were you thinking. of. was the internet didn't exist we didn't. have the internet to jerk off no no we. there was a there was a we talked about. this before there was a rock. oh my god yeah. the community would you you know what i. mean and then my friend alan meadows. alan meadows my friend alan meadows.
parents god rest their souls. his dad had porn and him and i used to. i know but in your room. what in your room i would borrow his. magazines all those feelings. the excitement do you just get emotional. [Laughter]. missing the old porn days no it's not. just the porn days it was the. the feeling of like. um. just hanging out with your friends. riding your bike jerking off together. did that too yeah like.
or like my friend jason hill. he was in a band called um. louis xiv. you know them so he was the singer of. the but as a kid he lived right down the. street from me. so i remember jason um. he was in his garage he had never smoked. pop before. and i brought my bong over hell yeah and. i was teaching him how to do it. and i just remember those moments. as a kid you know yeah. and there's a feeling like summers were.
different there was just a feeling trust. me. i know i'm smoking weed in gara in a. garage oh my god's the best the coolest. sitting on a couch smoking weed. cigarettes yeah. talking [ __ ] talking [ __ ] mad [ __ ] i. missed those i missed those days now. it's like the end is coming it's right. around the corner yeah yeah. i mean it's well you're 50 soon bud. the end's coming. i don't think you're gonna die anytime. soon but i do think that you're reaching. your taiwan tyron woodley years.
i don't think so no you're right dude. you're feels different you're about to. pop. don't say that you're about to pop but i. feel like something different is. happening what do you mean in society or. you're my own life what is it. is kalila pregnant. no that would be. incredible it has more to do with the. business. you okay. has more to do with the business well. what is that tell me.
like you're booking a lot of stuff you. feel like it's wrong it's not just. booking it's just uh i don't like. talking about it but i will um. you love talking about first of all you. love talking about it i don't like i. don't love talking about it you loved. hyping yourself up. no it's just kind of like you know you. have always had great opportunity. no just don't. honest i've known you. bobby. bobby i've i've i'm i have. i have made everything i've got okay. nothing came my way.
nothing mixed drinks what was that a. show called mixology i had i i. auditioned for that i didn't even get. far i know but you're right. you got it you weren't right for it. that's my point yeah but right you you. always are right no you're always doing. stuff with seth rogen all these things. no one thing i got cut out of dude this. is a lie you're okay so what i'm saying. you've had a great life it's been okay. and a great career yeah and i just i'm. i'm just. i just want a little i've got a tough. road i just want a little for myself. that's all you've been.
go ahead that's so annoying no what you. annoy me no you annoy me. [Laughter]. yeah it's a [ __ ] montage it's a. [ __ ] video it's a montage for sure. it's a vignette all right. it made me cry either way yeah are you. happy to be back pull the mic towards. your [ __ ] mouth. i'm okay. are you sad to be back she's so bummed. you are sad to be back because let me. tell you something the response we got.
from having doc willis on the show was. great people love doc if you want to do. you want to take off and us make doc. fill in permanently. no you still want to be on the show. okay okay i saw you guys measure. yourself when i wasn't here. and you admitted that you were five too. i know but he was saying no but you. admitted it i ended to stop you admitted. i said he was 5'3. and i told him you're wrong because i'm. an inch taller than you. if i'm 5'2 you're 5 1. okay. but but how tall do you think you are.
now what's that. because we've got some old proof. this is proof that you admitting on this. radio show from years ago how tall you. are. and you also do a lot of work with. chelsea lately right yeah i do that i. was in crazy anatomy i was that girl. remember. you were a girl yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah. yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah. i was that girl in grey's anatomy that. was me bro. i was in the i was in the show heroes. remember. that was me. i was in the movie entourage right. i play basketball. right. insanity bro that's me bro.
i do all that bro how tall are you bro. what i'm a five two but let me see. the admittance you know you're five so. funny what you're saying what you're. doing right now you know you're five two. you said it for a year this was seven. years ago you knew it yeah yeah you. didn't get taller bub bob didn't get. taller bub bub bubby. what i say in radio shows and podcasts. are lies. okay.
and it's a fact so you've never said a. truth on anything no not really no. so okay say it again what i say on radio. shows is a lie that's a fact. what i say on radio and podcast are a. lie that's a fact it's a fact. print it because if you. like for instance everything i say is a. lie that's a fact is that what you're. saying yeah perfect. okay. perfect. but what i wanna. i can back it up.
i can back it up. please i don't know how. i'll show you because it's a lie. yeah even my backups are lies. okay. okay so i'm going to prove to you okay. please. there's a story. a lovely. and lady. had three boys. three very lovely boys girls oh with. three girls. i'm sorry. you have no nobody has no you know what. that's from no brady bunch pull the mic. to your face even if you're slouchy. pouch yeah no. [Laughter].
people are so happy that she's back they. get so excited where's jules where's. joe's and then she comes back and she. just gets to fall into her chair yeah. like those pot commercials when they're. like don't do pot and that girl's. smelling into the couch you know that. stupid commercial it was the first day. of college today. did you have class today. we lied everybody told them you were. going to what new mexico what did we say. yeah yeah everyone's not asking me about. new mexico if i went there. some people in albuquerque were so. excited to see you how was the first day.
of class school well you didn't go right. it was online. it was fine no cute boys. is it zoom. well you can't really see how cute. someone is on zoom can you. i think you can. how many you. not everyone's on one screen you swipe. to see the rest of the people you can. put them all on one screen right you do. the swipe to see everyone. interesting do you think that they were. swiping going oh that's a cute girl or. do you think any of them knew who you. were.
i don't think so is there a chat at all. yeah there's a chat does no one said. anything like hey rudy jules no [ __ ] but. she did get recognized at the airport. yeah in hawaii in hawaii really just by. yourself was collided there. well they said hi to her huh yeah i want. her to be alone somewhere and somebody. recognizes well that's why because she. was because we're going to. cancun oh yeah we're going to cancun by. the way but people need to go. she wants to bring kalila and i'm saying. don't why so she can have an experience. with us. oh yeah just us yeah the crew.
the crew cool face. i know if you don't want to do it. why you want to bring kaleila because. you want a partner in crime yeah yeah i. get that she wants her butt that's why. can we be the partners she doesn't like. us like that. yeah by the way but show that um do you. remember we talked to okay we talked to. a band called the bobby lee's. look at this this was posted on the. reddit. there's a guy there's an mma fighter. named bobby lee who's a redhead okay do. you know this guy no look at zoom in on.
this guy. he renamed himself bobby lay though he's. a red yeah for us. no. no that's his general name his real name. is robert lee. really sketch. but i feel like we should support this. guy yeah i think we should support can. we do can we bad friends can can we. sponsor a fighter. let's sponsor this guy. i want to sponsor bobby lee the fighter. so if he's out there anybody knows he's. 12 6-0 pretty good. there's an mma fighter named bobby lee. that looks like he could be related to. santino he's a ginge dude he's from the.
party. nation yeah. and and 12 6-0 is not bad. it's not great though. it's not weak he needs because this is. like 12-6-0 in like regional. yeah the scene yeah. he's like local bar fights 12 6-0 i know. if he went to the you know like he had. fought edson barbosa he wouldn't have. ribs left well let's see what. well what's his weight go go down what's. his weight class. let's see we got to get him in better. he's 155. oh he's lightweight not that's. not good that's not good no yeah he's.
got it you got it let's sponsor him. let's sponsor because look it says. career disclosed earnings zero dollars. yeah yeah he's fighting out of saint. cloud minnesota maybe he has a. event and venmo maybe. we can look it up. we can have george look into it to see. if we can do it you know but how bad how. cool would it be if we sponsored a. fighter and he has bad friends shorts on. when he fights. would that be awesome great on the. shorts this is bad friends in the back. but would be bummer as if he continued. to lose and then right and then those. bad friends there's blood on it and dry.
that's all they take pictures of yeah. two losers on podcast sponsor man whose. career is going down i hope bobby lee. does i hope he starts bucking up. what's the other one uh pete that you. were gonna show me. there's a slide guitarist named bobby. lee is there. oh this is a great so. last couple weeks ago we showed the. cambodian army and they beat the [ __ ]. out of you yeah okay in india they do a. live physical in front of everybody look. at this. okay. just want to make sure both are there. one.
one two one two good nice stick one two. nice thick one two there. one two right there nice good snake. right left there it is. how weird that this is their physical. yeah they want to make sure you got two. balls and a peen. let me ask you this if there was a woman. there. wanting to be a part of the you know i. mean the army. would he be able to do it he has to. he would that's part of the code oh. sorry he spent like 20 minutes down.
there yeah. like i still don't feel it. where are your balls. it is that this and by the way a guy. following him with a piece of paper. yeah. he's just going down the line grabbing. their peanut what a weird yeah i want to. see one move i want to see one get a. little i want to see one pop up so bad. how strange this is part of their army. routine huh. or he just says that to them oh the. other guy was like oh let me check it. out yeah i want to make sure yeah i need. to make it yeah yeah he didn't touch any.
of the other guys. oh there's my friend jim. by the way how funny is it yeah how. funny is it that these guys go back to. their oh my god oh my god these guys go. back like the barracks and they're like. it was hard him grabbing our dicks in. front of each other and then all the. other groups are like nobody grabbed our. team. that's just this guy that's just this. dude. yeah yeah his way go back go back a. little bit he points to him right there. he points to him. watch us he's like. oh he's just nice oh he's just nice just.
like my dad's. i guess he got to do this in some. countries just to make sure that i think. we should reenact this george george. come up here george you have to reenact. we're the soldiers we got to make sure. which one am i. i don't want to do this hey yeah you i. want we want to make sure yes i want to. see what your style is yeah we want it. here you're still built. go ahead come here george come here we. don't want to do it test out test out. bobby to make sure he's good enough to. podcast. there you go george make sure he's good. enough to podcast.
oh nice and are they both there. very good you're ready to go to war i'm. ready to go i'm ready to go well that'll. be a meme yeah yeah. can we make it barely touched it can we. make that an nft can we make you get it. like balls touch an nft. yeah we can do that right an fft i just. am learning i know what i oh you're. probably ft about property. non-fungible token. do you know what i'm talking about. google and nft you know what this is. rudy don't you don't know what this is.
it's like your generation nft look you. can sell buy and sell these things. look steph curry just bought the sad. monkey. look at that. steph curry the board ape that's what. it's called. and and it was 180 000. all it is is what you see right there he. bought that he bought it the the the. the digital writers. yeah you can also like buy scenes. yes and like and like youtube like. moments or. correct like somebody could buy like one.
if you and i say something they can buy. that moment well no we would own the. rights to that for they would have to. purchase it from us yeah that's what i'm. saying we own the copyright right right. but like we could sell a moment okay so. look board apes sold back in may for .68. ethereum. and now it's worth 180 000. i get it but it's like i don't know. because we're not because we're old er. yeah we're older. [ __ ]. like pansexual we are pansexual are we.
what does pansexual mean. i don't know i'm trying to learn all. this stuff can you google what pansexual. is. i don't know all those terms that's why. let's learn right now let's learn. pansexual not limited sexual choice. regard to biological sex gender identity. so pansexual means like you could have. sex with an ottoman or i i don't know. like could be not an object. no uh i think it's got to be human oh no. towards people regardless of their sex. or gender identity so you can like. another right but why is that. bisexuality no bisexual is. this this says.
emotional attraction romantic or. emotional attracting towards people. regardless of their sex or gender. identity. bisexual fall is probably under the. umbrella of pansexual. hmm because bisexual you like men and. women this is saying you can like people. if they don't identify as a man or a. woman. yep i think i think i think and what's. the binary one that they have non-binary. non-biological binary just means man or. woman non-binary means. you know non-binary means you're [ __ ].
you're gender fluid gender queer. it's an umbrella term for identities. that are neither male nor female right. you don't identify as a man or a woman. because when i was in hungary did i tell. you about this. there was one girl that is non-binary. okay and me and this other girl actress. is going to meet this girl and my. actress friend said. we're meeting them yeah you don't say. that you say right so i go. oh she's bringing her friendship no it's. just her. and then when we're walking to this. place she was like.
you know i mean explain to me i like i. didn't know right of course i don't know. and then when i saw her i did a joke and. she's five. what you said she her she she her oh wow. you did in the middle of telling it you. already violated her. i know exactly. [ __ ] but when i saw. them i said hey you guys. funny. right funny she's like no what. what i'm saying though is this hey you. guys is like it's like saying uh uh.
[ __ ] and you know. [Laughter]. it's like saying uh what what's up. you don't mean what's up i know i know. but what i'm saying is hey you good what. i'm saying is i want to learn i have no. prejudices and i will accept whatever. you are whatever these new rules are. yeah these new things i'm open to it. yeah i guess it's so confusing i'm sorry. it's like i'm telling this. what's your name. i'm gonna call you your name.
that's how i feel what's your [ __ ]. name cause i'm gonna get confused and. i'm gonna [ __ ] up you [ __ ] up four. times in half a minute. if they go you ha emily is gonna be. there and they are non-binary and gender. fluid and pansexual yeah and so and so. something something i'm gonna go listen. i can't wait to see emily all right then. you see emily what do you say hey em how. are you i want you to say plural emilies. hey emily's how are you oh there we go. over with right and then if someone. there's a weirdness there no and then.
i'm gonna refer to you by your name if. someone goes. um. what does she want to go emily wants. tacos ah let's go to the name go to the. [ __ ] you understand it's your generation. yeah you guys [ __ ] did all this [ __ ]. yeah i'm confused with it no i'm our. generation we don't. you know. you and i. we care we don't care. yeah i care i don't care no my point is. i don't care whatever you want to be i. don't care yeah i want you to love it i. don't [ __ ] care but we but it's i.
know we don't care so tell me your. [ __ ] name i know but we still i still. i still want to learn i know no rules. but we don't but by the way there's too. many [ __ ] rules. look go back one slide go back one slide. look uh look click on an umbrella. it's like a [ __ ] novel dude. it's a novel i don't know right queer. fluid poly pan other bi hetero. flexibility. lesbian flexible hetero flexible.
yeah i have to learn all of you your. name's [ __ ] emily no. all right no i'm not saying i'm i'm. being open-minded. you're allowed to be whatever you want. yeah i don't i don't the nuances are so. [ __ ] specific i'm sorry good fluid. what's this. zoom in a little bit because attraction. was changes or might change over time it. says heteroflexible that means. are usually attracted to people of. genders different from their own but. might occasionally be attracted to.
people of gender similar to their own so. maybe buy it's called maybe baby buy. that's the new one maybe. just say bye no no hey. no all right i'm hetero effect flexible. you're heteroflexible i'm heteroflexible. you can touch your toes and you [ __ ]. chicks i don't get it i. honestly all it means to me is you don't. make any sense. you touch your toes and you [ __ ] chicks. yeah that's heteroflex oh that's why. okay i get it honestly i'm being serious. when i say this yeah i have friends who.
are gay i have friends who are bi i. i l i love them all right i don't. [ __ ] but let's go let's read some. more above zoom up above fluid. attraction which changes or might change. over time towards people of various. genders this just means. you haven't figured it out yet yeah. people who are used okay homo. vegetable flexible is somebody who eats. veggies while they [ __ ]. [Laughter]. no it's called les it's called.
flexible people people who are usually. attracted to people of gender similar to. their own but might occasionally be. attracted to people of gender is. different from their own this is getting. too specific. yeah that's called sometimes bisexual. maybe yeah. it should say sometimes bisexual maybe. or maybe not again you know what the end. of this is you're emily. right you're [ __ ] emily you're emily. emily sometimes [ __ ] girls that's emily. sometimes emily [ __ ] guys. sometimes emily [ __ ] girls who wish. that they were guys sometimes. wishing they were [ __ ] girls but.
sometimes emily will decide to be chad. then say i'm chad today. all right and i'll go hey chad right and. then the ch and chad would be like. what's up whoa jack. but chad will go i know i was emily. yesterday about that. chad will go and chad will go don't call. me. he even though i won't go by chad and i. go. right i'm not going to call you a. [ __ ] uh he or they or them or she. calling you [ __ ] chat right all day. i'm calling you let me ask you this. though we should wear my name feel about.
it huh. i know this i i know that we're we are. willing to bend and learn these new you. know i mean sure but. how do you feel about it. how i just said do you really feel that. way of course. i don't care what you want to be because. what if they want you to care i don't. care i don't care about everybody that's. insane. i care about the people i know. but if i'm emily i want you to care like. emily i barely [ __ ] know you no let's.
say we're good friends and i'm lesbian. flexible. okay all right i want you do you care. about it. no yeah i want you to care i think and i. think that's the problem here's why. why do i care about your. sexuality because i want you that's the. least important part of our friendship. right you're my friend okay i care that. we have cool conversations we go to. concerts together we get high together. okay. i care that we [ __ ] hang out i don't. give a [ __ ] what kind of person you want. to [ __ ] suck and whatever.
do you see what i'm saying. do you see what i'm saying yeah do you. like you don't what your generation is. you don't care right you hope people do. their thing and be happy i don't [ __ ]. you're heterosexual right. yeah are you anything else. are you lesbian flexible maybe i could. be or heteroflexible i mean yeah maybe i. could be heteroflexible because you. might sometimes be attracted to women. yeah okay so she's heteroflexible i. might be heterosexual flexible you are. heteroflexible you're bisexual.
okay thank you for being about what you. are you're bisexual. i'm hetero i want to be hetero that's. you can't dictate what i am listen emma. i'm killing you where you are listen i'm. heteroflexible sure okay okay good i. want you to accept that and be happy. with that i would you know what i do. accept this for everybody but you. why because i don't accept you in my. heart. no. my mom again hold on oh what did your. mom say always find a reason to smile. she said well let's write her again no. because i think please use about this.
please bob all right let's do another. one here we go ready right. the waves of time the waves of time. may shift. the sands of our lives may shift. hold on. may shift the sands of our lives shift. the sands. of our lives. but they will never take. but they will never take they.
will never take our freedom. william wallace. william wallace you have to end with a. braveheart quote. is that a real william wallace quote. are you serious yeah never take our. freedom no. he said before that was just my head oh. so the waves of time may shift the sands. of our lives but they will never take. our freedom. by the way that's going up on a [ __ ]. shirt somewhere. good night mom.
oh and also will you write this to your. mom no no no please please well you're. right thank you for being a bad friend. to your mom okay thank you for being no. because she doesn't get. okay. thank you. i love your mom. hold on thank you being bad. okay oh we need to address two things. real fast and then we're done what one. bobby is turning 50 but we can no longer. have the party you have to say it the. fans want to be having a party but what.
we're going to do is the winners are. going to do a zoom call with us yeah. sadly sadly no the restrictions are. making it so we can't delta. [ __ ] delta [ __ ] delta thank you so. much for sending in the video. submissions. you know it's i we've seen all of them. we saw we did watch a [ __ ] load a lot of. them yeah and i really appreciate it you. know it makes it feel good that you guys. are um we appreciate you when we're. sorry that we can't have the party it's. no more party time um rudy now that. you're back you gotta end us again go. look in your camera and say it mama.
thank you for being a bad friend welcome. back. for 20 off your pulley nope all right. for 20. no i'm out of the left hold on let me. finish it i gotta do this last one sure. for twenty dollars off your buffy. comforter visit buffy dot co in her. bedroom. i got it right here let me just say stop. laughing right jewels for twenty dollars. after buffalo for twenty dollars off.
your buffy comforter. let me just do it you can do that all. right. you.
