Is It Poo Or Is It Cake? | Ep 187 | Bad Friends
hey hey everybody bad friends live and. we're at the tail end of our tour guys. and we're dude we've got a special show. yeah if you don't go dude you're dumb. dude you're dumb dumb dud we're coming. up in Washington DC Denver then Denver. Denver Colorado you got to get tickets. now that's right Milwaukee Wisconsin yep. Chicago Illinois my hometown Minneapolis. Minnesota where you're from Minnesota. happened to me there man and the very. last date is Madison Wisconsin yeah go. check it out dude so let me tell you. something DC you're up next then Denver.
get ready baby we're strolling down the. line coming to the Midwest we love you. guys go to badri pod.com for those. tickets badri pod.com if it hits my face. from there right I'll promote if I can. spit it Nick and hit your face you'll. promote tomorrow yeah I'm going to I'll. blow my back out doing this ready yeah. please. [Music]. guys shoulder shoulder [ __ ] try try.
what I said it just hits my head I'm not. promoting tomorrow I'm not promoting. tomorrow you're not going to promote any. day you [ __ ] fat there we go there we. go there we go there's the hostility. dude you don't know how to take a. [ __ ] loss dude I should just learn. from you. dudes yeah I'm the L King yeah great. great musician that's that's that she's. great you two are bad friends are these. two idiots a white dude and an Asian. dude you two are disgusting W you two or.
something we're bad friends well here's. the here's the deal about Halloween yeah. we're not going to be here this year and. last year where were you I'm going to be. I'll be where we going to be I won't be. here where were I going to be well. you'll be here kiddo you'll be here bud. oh no I'm going to be here wherever. you're going to be there's still going. to be Halloween yeah but I won't have to. hand out candy this year I've never. handed out candy you I Turn All the. Lights Off well kids don't go to the. who's going to the hills to get [ __ ]. candy you live Hollywood Hill I still. turn off the lights for who your. neighbors I do for Jehovah Witness and.
Halloween you don't want to talk to some. J wits no dude really yeah I'm always. like in the dark like this seeing them. walk by see I like I like to hand out. candy don't you think it's cute when the. kids come through yeah my last place was. such a trap house I didn't want anyone. coming up there you didn't want to give. them some some fentanyl on the way home. yeah no let me why why candy though huh. we should switch it up no it's easier to. lure them in with. it yeah yeah you know I mean I what. wouldn't a dollar be cool or do you want.
a king size huh come on in wouldn't a. dollar be cool yeah there there were. always that's so funny you say that. there were Asians in my neighborhood. that handed out money that's right. that's why we did you hand out money. yeah a dollar what is that with you guys. we love it we money is better than candy. I'll tell you that right now cuz money. gets you candy dude for [ __ ]. Christmas let me say something let me. say something about Christmas dude okay. growing up when we were 6 years old my. dad goes no more he goes no more. Christmas tree because the LA the when I. was five they put one up and it stayed.
in the house all year round yeah the but. to the point where all the pine fell off. needles is that what it is the needles. yeah yeah so it was just branches yeah. right yeah so all your and then my my. mom would put squid on it what you to. dry the squid what yeah yeah and like. laundry well laundry makes sense yeah. yeah yeah but it was like laundry and. like dried squid on this [ __ ] Branch. tree and my dad one he goes no more.
that's really The Nightmare Before. Christmas that's what that yeah yeah. what's the most impressive thing you. ever got for Christmas yeah I mean my. dad would give me those Visa gift cards. but I was like like I wish you put some. thought into this yeah what is about you. guys and thoughts I don't know you white. people with your thoughts your brother's. not white I want feeling with it yeah we. do no no every year like Kila right I. would just go here's an iPad and she was. she's like you know you every year I get. an iPad but she's I know but that's 800. $1 She's mixed right yeah but she's.
still white the white side was like the. white side was like I want thoughts yeah. it'd be nice to get an iPad and a note. no note what's the note for show some. love yeah no I say it verbally do it to. me right now give me a note okay dear. wait who are you. me do you have to be you I'm me all the. time I don't want you to be you who you. want me to be be just some my neighbor. John I'm John your neighbor okay Dear. John.
what a beautiful neighbor you are. thanks are you okay John oh yeah. yeah and you know it's so what a joy. this time of year to share my holiday. greetings with my neighbor John anyway. happy Christmas I have. cancer yeah and I go bye oh here's our. iPad I'll redition hos Bish yeah but. what I'm saying is is you guys about. especially women with their I want feel. you know it's like yeah we want some.
emotional attachment no no like that's. more important than the gift yeah no yes. it is oh so you rather have okay you'd. rather let me say something all right. you'd ra you okay I'm sorry a lot of. white women in the studio today care. [ __ ] and why it's getting me crazy I. know and enough of the pumpkin spice. it's not a good flavor I agree with you. this is [ __ ] pumpkin it's not a good. flavor it's never been a good flavor and. go [ __ ] yourself you're never going to. stop that stop no business why people. stop crocheting no no no that one I'm.
cool with and your bat Mitten we need. bat Mitten love it I'm tired of your. white ways you don't want to smack a. shuttle cck once in a while it's called. a shuttle [ __ ] you don't want to smack. that thing around you don't want to. smack a [ __ ] in the backyard I'm sorry. but so no more pumpkin spies and no more. thoughts no thoughts are nice because. let me say something and this year for. your birthday because you did such a. great job on my birthday thank you I'm. going to have to put some thoughts into. it yes but I don't want to.
that's why it means something that's why. it means something but you're the only. one I'm going to give you thoughts I. like that yeah yeah like I'm I'm like. I'm we're I'm going to Hawaii with a. young. lady. okay all right private jet no first. class Spirit. yeah oh yeah you give her the window Z. yeah yeah um West. ched wested back right and you know you. going to step by Canada first yeah so.
you're going to Hawaii with a nice young. sweet one I'm saying is and you're going. to rebuild. houses that's no we're we're going to. find kids first what are you going to do. with them no I mean there's some people. missing so we're going to go to Maui and. find oh you're going to search for the. UN sure oh that's sweet that's why we're. there that's nice but then we're going. to tan too and eat nice food. okay and this is how I tan right here. like this but anyway um that alone right. is a thoughtful thing that I'm doing. someone to Maui yeah if if like when I.
take you to dinner and I pay for it. right yeah do I pay for it you always do. I always do right yeah that's thoughtful. I love those but I don't have to say it. and I don't have to put any thought into. it right yeah but you know the gesture. is nice I do every day I do generous. gestures of love give me a GG of love. right now what did you do today what's a. generous gesture of love that you did. today to you in general that you did. today what did you do today you said you. do them every day what's today oh I I.
know I okay today's. Tuesday you got your nails done that's. not it though you got your hands. shortened they no no no I mean no I got. no I got my nails done oh right right I. don't know if they're shrunk so I go to. a place you know with a bunch. of hold on let me see yeah Beverly Hills. housewives yeah oh they've got work done. yeah right and they're always the is. like the is like.
wel right right right and I give the. $100 tip hands and foot separate $100 a. piece yeah that's insane that's but. that's generous is that thoughts yeah no. that's just is that thoughts that's rich. guy [ __ ] yeah yeah but still dude I'm. telling you right now I'm going to all. right I'm going to call somebody out. right now I'm going to call somebody out. right now dude all right okay well I'm. not going to say his name but you can. guess okay he's a he wrote a bunch of.
spiritual books very popular spiritual. elron Hub some someone like that all. right and I so I used to work at a. restaurant way way back we know okay. yeah and the spiritual guy used to come. in there and he wouldn't tip that well. and we knew that he had money oh we. talked about yeah what Romas or whatever. his name is not Romas what are you. [ __ ] talking about romdas would tip. yeah yeah Jesus Romos they would all tip. what's going on with you yeah yeah Romos. was that a joke or was that an honest.
guest no I thought it because he's by. San Diego sometimes so I really thought. when's the last time you jerked off uh. you look you feel like you're built up. days ago no I'm not I hooked up with the. girl last night come she had a shirt. that said I did you come yes I can okay. all right we'll get to that in a second. give me back to the famous guy who T. didn't tip four days by the way huh four. days for you yeah someone's holding out. I'm holding out that thing is going to I. know it's so hard and last night was the. toughest one I know last night pumping. up that balloon it's going to pop I was.
playing Starfield right you were just. coming during star no no no I was well. yeah so exciting that game no I'm. playing Starfield and I'm on a planet. and I'm like you know at a uh weapons. installation got it well let me finish. yeah right there's too many details just. what Happ yeah and also like the Crimson. Fleet there so I'm going around right. with my [ __ ] gun I got a new guny. that I you know what I mean upgraded and. stuff in my house in uh um God ailla. City I have a house in a.
city let me. finish and so I'm like you know snipe. snipe snipe snipe yeah yeah but my dick. is like snipe snipe too oh see what I'm. saying got it do you understand you're. ready to snipe right and I'm like hello. Toki you know what's my penis's name to. dum dum the Dum Dum the Dum Dum sorry. apologize what the [ __ ] dude I know I. know yeah don't want to offend the guy. Toki the Dum Dum right was up.
ready to go right man this story is like. your sex life like is he ever going to. [Music]. finish that's a Zinger dude thank you. that's a Zinger dude I like it Montreal. next year. theyre next year new faces anyway. um uh oh we'll be right back I take back. what I said I'm sorry did you do that I. hope not when you give him a good Zinger. that's like when you poke a poke one of. those voodoo dolls I'll never choke. again so any I'm fine this guy didn't.
tip very well down Rich guys oh yeah. yeah yeah yeah yeah well no I pinched. the head of my dick let me finish last. night I like how these two things are. kind of well it's like a I'm like a. Tarantino movie dude really are yeah. yeah yeah so um I pinched the head of my. dick to and he. went you're right CH out but then he. went back to sleep I did like a well he. tapped him out I did a rear nicked choke. dude I did a rear Nick choke to my dick. dude you tapped out your dick I tapped. out my dick dude and he's like tap tap.
tap tap tap right right there no ref. yeah there's no ref no that's it he let. let him pass out wow yeah you know cuz. my fingers are like you know black belt. and. Jiu-Jitsu so I yeah I pinched him out he. F anyway back to the spiritual guy he. didn't tip that well every time and I. know a lot of guys that don't so for you. do you know when I went to. the nail salon yeah so don't do that. don't not tip no I'm just saying don't. say that it's because I have a little. bit of money and I tipped that was still. generous on $100 is more than generous.
that's rich guy [ __ ] $20 a person would. have been. generous can I tell you why I do that. though because you only have hundreds no. well that's true yeah that's true yeah. let me look at my there is no there's no. small bills that's the problem let me. look same thing we were what we were. Ving somewhere I said do you have any. money I said just give me a couple bucks. $100 bill it's like I can't give that to. the valet that's ins why would that's. that's too much money he would have done. that though look hundred hundred. hundreds hundreds yeah oh yeah they're. all hundreds right so that's what I'm. talking about oh yeah but do you know. why get smaller bills no but guess why.
do you know why because you get paid in. Huns from where shows yeah yeah I know. so it's not but go to a thing and break. it you're right you're right you're. right what was I say give that money to. the girls no I don't want to give it to. the girls they have enough look at home. they do not yeah look at them they do. not show they're Pumpkin Spice Girls are. they Pumpkin Spice Girls the Pumpkin. Spice Girls they're the look at them. they're Cru they crochet well one of. them nits yeah yeah yeah guess which. oneit you probably have an ottoman do. you have an ottoman what do you mean I. have an ottoman at the house G gay who's.
gay here right well it's easier to blow. my boyfriend when my knees are on the. utom I don't want to go on the ground. hard I bet I bet you money you girls. right have Nooks yeah they have a Nook a. reading Nook a reading Nook a breakf. Nook and you probably have candles that. smell nice right that I don't I refuse. and no candles these are all great and. you probably have a barrel of rice. somewhere I mean yeah we all have our a.
we all have our things okay all right. all right anyway you don't have good. smelling candles at the house I actually. do I I have I just bought some uh I. bought a gigantic santel one love those. it's a gig santel 33 from La you the Lao. I got a Gigan was so expensive give me. we're what $6. $700,000 I don't want to talk about it. now because of the tell me how much tell. me how much the big well I bought two. candles and a gigantic one and then two. sprays I SP about 400 bucks maybe oh.
that's not bad I I mean it's a lot of. money but I thought it for some reason. in my mind I thought that was going to. be one of those just FYI I don't really. have a lot of money let's thow out okay. okay let's move. [Laughter]. on I thought by the way I thought when. Oliver was here he was going to get you. to put down the Vape he did make it seem. like he was going to get you to stop. vaping well this whose fault is this. guess in the room whose fault was Jewels. wait who whose fault is the why I'm. smoking Jewels again Carlos thank you.
well I mean I know thank you you [ __ ]. me up again well you know you [ __ ] me. up how do I [ __ ] you up okay I'll tell. you this okay you tell me everything. gave me 100 milligram edible it got me. whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa a. couple years ago I'm sober now almost. two years yeah but it lifted me into. another level of weed use and I've never. gone back so he forced you to eat it. well he offered it to me and you know I. didn't want to deny it which I put you. at another level of Consciousness yeah I. like it. like you've and you're probably dreaming.
better that night I did dream really. well you're welcome and then he employed. you and pays your bills emplo employ you. and pay your bills and and whatnot and. such thank you for everything did you. get your car fixed you know he got his. car keyed oh [ __ ] the first [ __ ] week. this guy's got a car it gets keyed yeah. this guy you got it fixed no no you're. never going to get fixed like my you. know my car that's what I said well. you're never going to get that fixed I'm. never going to get my fixed everybody at. The Comedy Store there's a running bet. on if you're if you're going to are you. really. over there like just let me fix it for.
you no he yeah he wants he wants to fix. it I feel like I wish we could just show. a photo to the fans of your car it's. sterical you know when you see a car. people at home you know when you see a. car that's in one of those junkyards and. it gets smooshed from one of those. machines his is like if they did it to. the sides they smashed the sides and. they picked it up and moved it well I. know it's not your fault but it's. hysterical it's been that way for what. six months a year yeah I just okay I. mean I just don't know what to do well. do you want me to do it for you cuz I I. know you you gave me a then I had my guy. call the guy we made an appointment and.
they go okay come at 3:00 or whatever. whatever right I just never showed up. well that's a [ __ ] what the [ __ ] so. by the way my gu have to show up my. guy's so good he'll fix it for I mean. it's I know the guy we contacted that. guy that guy was like he yeah and when. we go on tour the next time this time. we're getting it fixed we're getting it. fixed I like it all right tell us about. your little Expedition the other night. oh I went on a date with this girl yeah. and she shows up wearing a tank top that. says I love [ __ ] stop and if in public. yeah in Echo Echo Park oh man I get back.
in my car and go home no she's hot why. she's Italian that means she you're. going to walk around with a girl that. has shirt on that says I love [ __ ] let me. say something okay if I'm a smoothie huh. if I'm a smoothie you're not I I know. but let's suppose I was a smoothie. hypothetically I see it now you see it. right and I'm like you know a banana. smoothie yeah right and um chocolate. lovers and I want someone to drink me. right I'm going to drink it and I'm on. I'm on a hinge uhhuh match with a girl. Oh I thought you said unhinged right so.
I true you know I mean they don't have. leg smoothies no right but I you know I. mean I get to the house I knock on right. and the door opens and she goes I love. smoothies or I drink smoothies or. whatever I would be excited that's what. I'm saying right but in this scenario. it's to real you have come inside you. yeah she likes the [ __ ] right you like it. when the [ __ ] is being retrieved from. your body mhm you know yeah you don't. like it when it's released from your. body no but it's more fun when I don't. really know how much she loves it yeah. but what if she didn't like it at all.
let me give you a better example okay go. all right sorry that was when I go to my. family's no it's a great example when I. go to my family's house yeah right like. my extended family yeah and they cook a. dish that I like yeah that's a fun. surprise uhhuh I don't need to know the. whole time that the dish is on its way I. like to be surprised right I like to get. through but what if they bring out poo. what see that's what I'm saying oh. you're thinking they might flip it on. you yeah they might flip it on you right. so what it be what what's your favorite. dish of all time no the dish that you're.
at home and you you you know it's a. surprise or whatever lasagna great love. lasagna so you're sitting there right. you smell lasagna right you're at the. dinner table right they light the. candles you know what are the candles. for oh they smell good in the room the. whole house smells like lasagna what are. you doing yeah and there's like the. flavor of the candles pumpkin spicy no I. don't like the whatever okay okay I'm. blowing them out and you're like you're. you're looking at the Nook and you know. what book am I going to read and you I'm. want to put my feet up on that ottoman. right look what she knitted right and.
then in your head right and you're like. I smell those anas coming right and then. they bring out poo so what I'm saying is. is that wait a minute if your aunt had. lasagna coming on her. shirt you had some weird dates. Bobby wait a minute is it poo or is it. cake that's a good show is it poo or is. a. cake I think I don't think my I don't. think it could you got it what I was. saying no one else on planet Earth.
understood what I was saying but I you. know what imagine if you had to eat it. first is it poo or is it C you're not. allowed to cut it eat right I know what. you're saying I know what you're saying. let's hear the rest of this [ __ ]. same date a girl who wrote I love come. on her shirt which by the way it's not. sold that's you know I can't scoop that. up at American Eagle that's a custom. shirt she had made well yeah she told me. she went down to the Santa Monica Pier. for the same guy that does like. caricatures and he's like you want a.
shirt what do you want it to say yeah. she liked it it said I love Comm and it. it did get me a little excited but then. to be fair you do forget about it after. a while you forget that she's wearing a. shirt that says I love [ __ ] yeah because. she has a jacket and like it just says I. love C for a second so you could kind of. forget about the whole thing yeah I. wouldn't forget oh so the C's in the. middle of the shirt yeah it's a cu the. goes up no it's vertical it's CU M oh. it's oh okay okay okay okay okay so what. I also want to know is where did you. take this human on a date oh so we went. on a walk with uh Archie my dog at a.
park oh my God and then not to a. restaurant or a facility a bar that was. that was her [ __ ] idea I'm normally. not the oh let's go on a walk guy like. that's crazy that's not crazy I think. that's a nice date so I never do that. I'm just like meet me at a bar. restaurant no no no Take a Walk okay. yeah so we go to a bar I can't bring my. dog in so I go why don't we just go to. my place oh trick little trickery. trickery no no it's a little trickery. that's Wizardry at hand yeah well she. invited me to her place I was like no.
we'll go to my place I knew my place. would be nice that's expus seus you you. did a little [ __ ] trickery on her. right there Potter thank you dellia seus. dellia seus here's the problem now. you're going to employ this in the. future because you know you can take the. dog out and go we can't bring the dog in. here oh a million per right so it just. taught him a new move yeah now he's. going to take the dog on all the dates. and go you guys don't take dogs here and. they're like no is it a service dog and. he's like well yeah and they're like I'm. sorry we don't he's like this is. embarrassing yeah and this is my best. friend you're not going to let me and my. best friend and this New Girl I'm dating.
I mean this is a [ __ ] move dude know. this is a huge move for you so you guys. went right back to your place and that's. it what if she says what if she says. we'll just drop the dog off and then. we'll go no no no we I was like let's. just go to my place she was all in no. he's asking you a qu an alternative this. he's calling an a alternative what's the. question if she says drop the dog of the. house I want to go back to the. bar that's a lot of driving to go all. the way home okay okay good good I'm. just I'm just trying to be dilig I got. to tell you you're you're you're if you. say that to her you're kind of cutting. yourself out keep in mind she.
loves oh yeah okay let me you're in the. place now yeah cuz I have certain moves. okay well don't give them away on the. show I'm never going to say any moves I. no I'm going to write a book one day. yeah you mean Bobby's moves yeah you'll. write yeah you'll write a book you're. going to love it yeah you know you'll. write a book vroom vroom vroom vom vroom. vroom vroom V you guys vroom is the only. way the only way you should buy a motor. vehicle I got my mom a car for crim it.
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I know but still weed is a drug well. they're not going to be sober yeah know. all right so you smoke weed you gigle do. you tell a joke yeah we talk about. things we go oh you probably Google like. um dwarf skeletons no that's only right. that's a good one no I can't do give us. a topic on a date that you bring up in a. conversation yeah you're the girl yeah. yes I am yeah oh man this is a nice deck. oh thanks I just moved in here cool yeah. what do you pay for rent here uh like. 3,500 that sounds right.
yeah do you want to smoke a joint um I'm. going to light one okay cool that's cool. do you want some no I'm okay you it's. pretty good I'd rather have. [ __ ] right this way okay wow I guess that. worked yeah wow did she keep the I love. C shirt on while you guys were hooking. up no that would have been funny yeah it. would have been but no she you're taking. each other's clothes off she what if she. smoke the [ __ ] Jes I read like [ __ ] right. smoke it time I did go to a girl's place.
and out of nowhere she lights heroin on. a spoon she start it starts bubbling. like Pulp Fiction out of nowhere let me. tell you something I bet you it wasn't. out of nowhere you're right it was an. escort it was Hollywood yeah yeah an. escort in Hollywood it was an escort. night no regular Joe Schmo is just. lighting up h on a spoon like whoa where. did that come from I bet you the. circumstances LED themselves to know. this person's going to do heroin can I. say I was on I was at the Korean spot 2: in the morning the other night and it. was on so I was on Western and Wilshire.
6th like in that area right and then you. know there's a string of prostitutes out. there and I had a I I stopped and I had. my window rolled down and I see a. prostitute and she looks and I I went. hi she said hi I did why I don't know. why you were you were playing with fire. you wanted no I I didn't know what to do. so I go hi and she's like she did. something with her friend like move on. cop cop cop cop right away really yeah.
you'd feel like a cop I'd be like that's. a cop hi and I rolled I was like why'. you say I like that I've never been. propositioned I had I had a girl look at. my car then like look at me and then. go and then look the other way I've. never even had a you look like a cop. then too I look like a cop 100% yeah I. rolled out my window once in Hollywood. and just stopped where they all are yeah. and I had my door unlocked and I just. wanted to see what would happen waiting. for one to get in yeah and one did get. in but it was not a woman what it was a.
man dressed like a woman and I went oh. I'm good I'm good I'm good he was also. wearing an I love [ __ ] shirt but same guy. but I was really lucky he she got out of. the car they got out of the car teach. yourself the right [ __ ] right I have a. story to tell yeah please so one time I. I got to say this guy's name so there's. a comic named do you remember him I. remember that guy right so one night he. was like after a show we're at the store. and he's like let's go down to Santa. Monica I go is there a restaurant there. it's like 1: in the morning there's. stuff to eat down there I know and I go.
where is it no no no let's. get you know prostitute oh I go but. they're all guys down there he's like. dude you're not going to know the. difference you might right wait really. you're not going to know the difference. well some of them are really hot I've. seen some really hot trans I mean I. would know the difference I think I. would know the difference I think I. would know the difference yeah sometimes. I don't know the difference no. no no we wait sometimes you don't know. the difference what you don't see the. Adams Apple I don't look there I'm not.
looking at your throat when I meet oh. you don't look at the throat that's the. key never look at the throat look at the. throat that makes sense it's more just. like hands you don't look at the hands. either no and that's what happened so. the guy who got in the car that it was. like a black guy huge hands I was just. like dude this is not a you got to be. careful letting people into your world. like this I know it did you see this cop. that hooked up in the backseat of his. Cruiser did you see this no they have it. on video it's like what the [ __ ] are you. doing he's like hooking up with this. chick and then they get in the backseat. of his cop car in like broad daylight it.
wasn't even like trying to be discre you. saw this fans it's crazy no but then. apparently he says it was in the news. apparently he said that it was. consensual and they had done this before. he stopped someone and then but it. looked like yeah it obviously looked. like he was being bad boy bad boy what. you going to do what you going to do. when they come for you those are good. lyrics you should write a song seriously. yeah that's really cool bad boy bad boy. what you going to do what you going to. do when they come for you like that's. like like a lyric you know like a Vibe.
yeah man what is it say it bad boy bad. boy bad boy bad boy what you gonna do oh. this is great Britney Spears dancing. with knives let's take a look at this. real. fast [ __ ] yeah. dude hey can I can I tell you I already. made a joke about this a long time ago. spinning on this. show we were all like free Britney free. Brit Britney and I said on this show are. you sure remember are you sure you're.
saying she's too free are you sure you. want her free yeah she's a little too. free right people like she doesn't need. a conservative ship are you sure yeah. you're right are you sure you're right. she's wielding kitchen knif look at her. dogs in the background one of those. things is going to end up at a. restaurant look at the way she's waving. around those kives show play the video. again it's. Bonkers I feel I love this girl I feel. bad there's no way this is. Chill started playing with knives today.
why. Brit don't worry they're not real knives. Halloween is soon yes they are those are. knives what what would be like hooking. up with her you think scary I like that. he's pretending those are not real. knives those are definitely real knives. they are real those for sure real those. knives are definitely not fake says the. internet what would it be like to hook. up with her or is that what you're. saying well just the date her no no just. the after hookup talk you know you have.
that talk the chat yeah the chat you're. naked you know you get the. towel I'm a towel guy so you stay naked. the whole time I do after you hook up do. you put on any kind of clothing is most. most times you put on something yeah not. me not me I put on a. costume oh really yeah I used to do that. I used to do that I used to do the. robin you mean yeah I'll just put I'll. put on a costume I'll put on Iron Man. mask just butt naked Iron Man. man honestly I feel like you and Britney.
Spears would be perfect yeah yeah now. that I think about it but what would she. talk about do think I imagine just her. legs over you you you're sweating she. feels like oh that was great she might. sing to. you I know a new song though not even a. Bobby oh Bobby Bobby how was I. suppos. now yeah and then you probably do a. dance too right hit me Bobby one more.
time time you're like I got to. go I have to leave my cars here wait you. haven't seen my knife Dance come see my. knife dance oh you're going to love it. yeah in my living room I I wave knives. and I Tick Tock G by the way I called it. on the show a long time ago if this. leads to something crazy like they put. her back they 5150 her I should have. made a bet on the on our fans cuz people. were like what's 5150 that means it's. the for for uh mental health uh what is. it called what's the cops come and take. you and take me to the mental 5150 is.
when you are mentally unstable that's. when you um what is it called uh allows. a person with a mental challenge to be. involuntarily detained for 72 hour. psychiatric hospitalization so you can. 5150 someone to be like I'm worried. they're going to hurt themselves or hurt. someone around them yeah like we could. 50150. you please don't you could 50150 me yeah. I would never do that though of all the. people in here that we would 50150 let. me guess 1 2 3 Carlos I mean what the. [ __ ] wait you think I'm like losing my.
mind no I just think you're a threat to. society yeah yeah like I feel like you. could cause physical harm to society I. do when I leave the house I definitely. like I know I want you inside more than. out but you know what though can I be. honest with you he's the only one I. really trust here 100% I agree he knows. that and he know I I you would [ __ ]. if I called you and I go you got to help. me buy this body oh it would be so fun. see that's what I'm saying see that you. need a 5150 in your life you need 15150.
you need 15150 in your life get 150150. around yeah like I honestly there's a. like let's say I relapsed mhm already. excited well see I'm n see this makes me. mad yeah cuz they party together yeah. party party dude's not going to help. you's honestly if I relaps and I called. you I'm like dude check it out I I want. some old school a sheet of acid do you. know where to go my my closet oh Noom.
yeah and would you bring it over um be. honest honestly I would call. Andrew it's about love dude thank you. that's [ __ ] [ __ ] no it's not dude. no that's huge that is such a big50. though dude he's changed dude he's. 5149 now all. right you know what I'm so glad you said. that cuz I was about to [ __ ] get. really mad and then okay so then you. call him M then you know what happens. I'm coming to get your ass and what are. you going to do if I decide I'm going to.
relapse I'm going to relapse no you're. not not around me can help not around. [ __ ] me or not in Mexico then Andrew. runs to have dinner okay I don't know. what the [ __ ] you just said dude let me. tell what did you just say what did you. say slow it down I said unless you're in. Mexico then Andrew runs to have dinner. with some friends and bobby gets dropped. in my lap yeah put him I put him in your. lap well no you already showed up [ __ ]. up in Mexico you were already [ __ ] up. when did wait you were babysitting me in. Mexico yeah you got [ __ ] up at dinner. you don't remember.
this oh yeah you I I remember you tried. to order me like a a Sprite he tried to. start a fight with me because I ordered. him a a mocktail yeah he's so you're so. stupid that day I'm stupid yeah because. I'm like I'm going to get what you're. getting and you come back with a. mocktail you have alcohol no I don't I. didn't have alcohol in mine nobody had. nobody had alcohol you [ __ ] but you. were pissed off cuz there was no booze. in it you were mad you were throwing a. big fit and then you went I'm an. alcoholic I know dude we were trying to. stop you and then you went and got. [ __ ] booze anyway and you pooped all. over the room there's a will there's a.
way I know it's unfortunate so if I'm. going to call him he doesn't pull. through I will call somebody yeah but. but at least when he calls me I'll be. over at your house to [ __ ] get in. your way to make it more annoying for. you to use but would you I'd get in your. I'd roadblock you from I know I know but. that would be a nightmare if I relapsed. huh oh yeah I would not be happy about. it no no let's not let's not do it what. are you going to do about it I would cry. you would cry yeah cuz I've never met. you in that state and but I've heard all. these stories and I feel really lucky. like when we I you came into my life and.
you're like on this good track up and it. would be kind of devastating to see that. thoughts see and then I'd 5150. you that's thoughts that's thoughts. that's pure thoughts dude that's pumpkin. spice right there yeah pumpk In the. Flesh dude you know what dude I'm. grabbing toting toward it I'm going to. get that next time at Starbucks let's. get it let's all get it together yeah. pumpk let's all get it in fact you know. what order pumpkin spice right now I'm. being real get delivered here.
Mone go get me some pumpkin spice dude. I'm I'm a chang man dude I want a cold. do you girls want pumpkin spices yeah. get pumpkin for everybody dude you know. what I mean Carlos give them the card. Carlos but I want also an ice version I. have money pumpkin no just come here he. give him cash come here give me get cash. get cash here Mone will you give me cold. is is pumpkin cold fo no give him 200. just in case thank you I think Bobby. will want that too he wants ice I don't. think I don't think it cost $200 it does. it does they do now they're expensive. pumpkin spice yeah it's a really limited.
spice yeah limited it is he's going to. text M thank con you know Starbucks is. right down the street y great yeah so. get me but I want mine iced whatever you. get me and add two shots to it espresso. he'll text you okay good and you get. these girls they want stuff too ask them. what they want Mone well you guys just. tell Carlos yeah tell Carlos all right. are you getting hot or cold. pumpkin okay uh let's get let's get back. to where we are this is so exciting I. know yeah yeah but now you're anyway.
thanks for the thoughts and I'm leaning. toward pumpkin now I like this a lot. pretty good changing me dude it's great. I love it power of thought you know. Ottomans and Nooks I don't know yet but. no you'll get to trust me by the end of. the episode ottoman you think so ottoman. you'll be there yeah Nook is a tougher. one to get you on but ottom never going. to happen never going to happen you know. one of the flight attendants on the. flight back was was knitting something. yeah and uh it reminded me of how I used. to get knit stuff from family members so.
lucky and uh how much it means to me. when you get that that that's why the. whites do that stuff because you get a. knit thing from somebody and you go I. don't even it doesn't even matter if I. don't love it it's so wonderful somebody. made it and then guess what it goes. under the bed in a rubber Tupperware I. know yeah you don't ever see it again. you never see it again well it's like a. lot of gifts there's a lot of things I. get you don't see it again but at the. moment it matters it's nice that they. made a thing like some one guy gave me a. SCA with my face on it yeah that was so.
dope no that was one we made oh oh he. actually took a board and just drew art. on it I go that's cool and you that's. good thoughts well how about this the. toys that I got you those custom toys. where did you put those in your house oh. like right in my living room you'll see. right right right right where everything. is that makes me feel really good but. that was a that was real good thoughts. good sometimes the thoughts aren't good. well give me an example when thoughts. aren't good what's the worst Pres I've. gotten well you you mentioned any kind. of card yeah yeah of anything of at all.
I don't even know what it is they'll go. here here's CL climp andales climp. andales the restaurant climp yeah I'm. just making climp andale climp andale. yeah climp Andale yeah I've been there. right and you're like what is this oh. it's you can get yarn oh right right and. you're like oh thank you well and it. goes in a drawer I get it and then 10. years later like well clemdale car you I. mean what are we going to do with it. yeah um so I don't like that I don't. like [ __ ] like socks or tie any of that.
well what who's giving you socks my. brother used to give me spa socks every. [ __ ] year that's cuz he's you know I. know I know they love socks but they put. them on their hands and their feet right. right what they put them on their hands. and their feet yeah yeah oh this the. reason I got that image in my head is. because a guy that's helping out around. our house right now he had I I think he. was trying to like he didn't have GL. maybe one glove was missing he had a. sock on on his. hand and I was like talking to who did. we hire he had a full-blown sock well he.
one hand had a glove the other one had a. sock I think maybe it was for it was I. don't know I so I did he put holes to. the fingers or it was just a sock it was. like a mitt it was gloves it was a glove. in a it had the color Stripes at the. bottom it was yeah it's like old school. gym sick yeah yeah wow yeah cuz we're. getting our yard dug up in the pipes or. can you help me with something though M. I need somebody I don't know where to go. I Googled it I I just need somebody to. put wallpaper up in my house oh I got.
the guy I have the guy and then also. wood paneling and stuff like that yeah I. have the guy who I'll give it to you. I'll give you is a good guy he. unbelievable I don't want to give too. much of a story away because it's not my. business but he was at one point someone. of a name that people know it's going to. blow your mind off the air and he he can. help me yeah he literally fixes he. builds houses he used to be somebody you. know like an architect like J no no no. he was anank was an actor he was an. actor that was oh so it's an actor that. I would if he came. overly [ __ ] you're good in SM young you.
would when he was young he was an actor. smid part two dude you were so good at. that that SM Small Wonder yeah yeah. small yeah so it's somebody I know you. will you might recognize the name yeah. really and he fixes stuff can you do. this and just tell me now I'll tell you. off the air okay I got the guy you do. 100% he's great okay and he's meticulous. and he's slow and sweet and he listens. to um Jazz while he does it he puts a. little jazz music on what's wrong with. that I actually really enjoyed it I. don't have to be there though right of.
course not. okay oh man we love door Dash so much. door Dash Bobby uses door Dash literally. three times a day let me see something. right now this is my door Dash don't. show them I'm not going to show look at. all the things I get oh my God it's my. favorite thing it says load more and I'm. not going to do it but my point is is. that when you're on the road or you're. at home wherever you are in the country. if you want groceries y you want. delicate food yep you want elegant food. y you want something fast Tac Taco you. go to Door Dash you got to go to Door.
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that's BF Mar for 50% off your first. order up to $20 when you try door Dash. get some door Dash try it I don't like. jazz as like you know like that goes. crazy I. like see that sounds like jazz that. going crazy that doesn't sound like good. jazz what no that's like you know I like. you. like no that's fast too fast it's Smokey. it's Smokey I know what you don't like.
where it's like yeah and I'm walking in. I have my suit on yeah yeah and I I I. lean with my cane I pull out a cigar. right I do a little Jiggy I do little. right and then I fall over and I die. right yeah but I like slow jazz slow. jazz yeah or I like the you know what's. the the your people do like a not a. boson NOA but like oh yeah the what's. what's the kind of music the impina mean.
uhana Flamingo Flamingo no girl girl. from. impas I like. that I'm walking through an airport the. 1960 yeah that's how that's how yeah. that's good what kind of music is. that you would know that's your people. Brazilian. like a Brazilian that's not your people. my bad you would like one of us the.
social club I love that Cuba very good. still not his people by the way but it's. adjacent can we learn to do Capa that's. one of my favorite things you said is. that the spinning martial arts yeah can. we learn to do that I already know how. to do it dude get [ __ ] teach us do it. right now can you get up and do I can do. Ka a yeah show me some cap. I need a opponent yeah Carlos is going.
Carlos well Carlos Carlos is your. opponent okay all right well you better. film it fans hold on need. some all right go ahead no no no let's. see what's the copae to. music whoa you. you [ __ ] lost dude whatever whatever. that was you lost what that was dope.
that's it dude dude you lost that you. lost that ended so fast ended fast dude. don't you know how how dance battles. take place yeah dude once you get. embarrassed it's over it's over I'm. seeing Stars right now I'm just going to. say you're about to pass out I'm about. to pass out I'm seeing Stars right now. that was crazy dude when I put my my I. don't even know what to say it the. weight on your arm arm dude it started. trembling I started sing Stars I'm like. this is a bad. idea hurt my stomach hurts a little he.
got me that's what it is d i that's c. yeah and I'm going to tell you dude I. never even took a class get out of town. you never took one class no way I think. that honestly I think that some people. are born knowing the secrets of the. martial arts you think you've got it in. you I think I'm Instinct I instinctually. know all forms of martial arts. simultaneously going within my body holy. [ __ ] and my spirit dud wow oh my God.
careful with those ow do you understand. ow that's what I'm saying how did you. hit me from over there yeah and I don't. even need to take a class dude no you. don't I know how to Bow I love bow that. stuff's so good. I Pork yeah well they're pork veeg red. red bean red bean red red bean no no. that's sticky buns I like those that's. red be red paste no not bow the [ __ ]. pastry what else bow yeah I will yeah. I'll eat it I'll have. it no like before you don't even know.
what I'm saying what are you talking. about bow The Dumpling no no no bow the. actual gesture yeah like thank you for. the. bow what is the. gesture go come here Carlos. oh were you stretching back now kick him.
again. what okay sorry so much violence on this. show sorry I did hot yoga for the first. time oh [ __ ] it was really fun how hot. was it it's like 98 degre or hotter no. it's got to be hotter than that yeah is. that a boy band 30 98 degrees or hotter. yeah no isn't isn't it a boy like 98. degrees or something yeah 90 degrees. Nick Lee okay one of my boys dude one of. my top dogs how hot is hot yoga it was.
so hot I couldn't believe it I was. thinking about you Bobby though if you. were there and I just think you'd fart a. lot in that class between 90 and 108 I. was if you [ __ ] you go to one of. those things I'm calling an ambulance on. the way there no I'm good in do you've. done Hot Yoga no dude you guys don't. even understand my body dude I don't. know if you understand your body I. because don't even. comprehend. the temperatures my body can take dud. I'm going to you know what you're going. to come over to the house and get in the.
ice bath and let's see what you do let. me tell you something ice bath yeah we. got an ice I'm going to tell you. something right now okay at the Korean. spa that I keep inviting you to yeah. their ice plunge yeah is a legal yeah. because hasn't been cleaned in [ __ ]. 40 years it's dirty you're right it's. gross it's dirty but not getting in I. let me tell you something about the. Korean spa do you D just [ __ ] racist. dude yes I am I've said that on this. show for years I'm not going in a. [ __ ] Spa with thousands of use that.
go. there [ __ ] you dude you guys in there. don't don't dude you don't yeah let me. tell you something okay you want me to. go to a Korean spot I know they don't. sanitize that [ __ ] place that's so un. true it's untrue yeah you've never. gotten anything you've never gotten a. toenail fungus from there or a athletes. foot cuz I know you have you [ __ ]. told me person personally go ahead and. say it I don't know where I got it yeah. [ __ ] off where else I literally don't.
know I could it be the place where. people are nude and sweating all over. each other okay how about this dude give. it athletes foot athletes get it right. no no no no no no that they not get it. and they get it by running no they don't. no they get it from sharing in their. [ __ ] shoes from sharing showers. that's what that's from from from Dirty. Feet bacterial infections in public. places anyway you guys don't know about. my my body and my temperature how much. it well then let's go to hot yoga. together I'm down I'll do it my body can. take all kinds it was so fun but Pompeo.
I would have survived it did you tell. the story about the Pompei or Ellen. Pompeo are you talking about Ellen. Pompeo the actress no I'm talking about. the. politician okay okay is there is there a. politician named Pompeo yeah yeah yeah. yeah I'm talking about him dude what. about what about it go ahead babe did. you tell the story about the shuttle bus. at the airport no don't tell that story. okay no tell it we might have I I know. how interesting it was but it was the. hardest I've laughed in so long all okay. so we get off of there where was it what.
city was it oh God I don't even. Cleveland you guys were out without all. right so we're at an airport and we take. a shuttle you and I yeah we're the last. two on the last two and it's a packed. shuttle packed and you know it's one of. those shuttle it's all you you you girls. love it it's very All-American the. shuttle they love no but the people that. are in it it's like kids wearing. baseball they get just got back from a. tournament family old women grandmothers. MH yeah hey what they have just like an.
apple pie with them or something yeah. and a baseball the baseball was inside. the apple pie. Amer yeah yeah and it's like and quiet. and people and we have to stand cuz and. I'm wearing I'm listening to music but I. go I. go. uhoh it's a common you know how your. mind does that right and I don't know. how so I have my music playing so I bent. over a little bit no you walked to me. and bent over onto me onto her and I.
ripped one so loud whole loud right that. the whole bus heard it yeah right the. all- American bus yeah it was so Qui and. people were like you're like right but. one father an old white. gentleman along with her tears in his. eyes laughing so. hard he was laughing so hard the lady. behind you you didn't see her she was. laughing too oh she was yeah yeah it was. that loud it was. like and then the right after the bus. driver goes ladies and gentlemen are you.
ready for the shuttle so like no one. could react to it yeah no one could. really react to it but it he hear it the. bus driver didn't hear it everyone heard. the [ __ ] bus tremble yeah yeah yeah. it was like that but good you would have. laughed so hard and he was so quiet in. there and then he walked like then we're. on the bus it's like 2 minutes into the. ride and he walks over to me and goes. was that loud I have my headphones in. yeah yeah yeah just a little and she was. laughing so. we had what a moment you know you and I. have moments huh on the road we got some. moment some good good moments I'm glad I.
missed that one it was I can't explain. it that's one I'm happy I cuz I was in. Chicago with my family not getting. farted that good yeah cuz you know I. would have been like. Bob like a dad I was upset but guess. what did it smell it did there okay my. bad my. bad my bad my bad my bad my bad I. apologize on the bus side you thought. you were going to cruise right over. [Applause]. that you shot it right down it.
did made it so much funnier than because. it's like floating yeah you know I I you. know I miss our little meals at the. airport we're going we're going back out. I know but just thinking about the you. know tour the little meals you and I. remember that little wine bar restaurant. that we sat at 8 yeah that was really. nice that was really nice are you at the. store tonight I have one show tonight. yes let's get dinner before I'm at the. store let's get dinner from here to the. store yeah yeah yeah what time do you.
going up 10:30 I'm at 10:30 oh really. you're not in the same room we're not in. the same room don't worry how long have. you what room are you in the belly room. yeah oh yeah the small one the tiny. one she is small she's a small yeah yeah. yeah but that but that changes are. coming soon I know it the shift is. coming all right let's hand out the. coffee real fast let's let's get some. coffee in here mcone boney.
oo thank you. ah did Jesse get one is it pumpkin o. cheers cheers to Pumpkin dude I'm. telling you right now very good you like. it oh man dude I'm in dude I'm white. you're white I'm in dude you're white. I'm white now dude one of us one of. us think mine's. vanilla oh I wasn't sure if I should say. something but it's kind of funny cuz we.
were talking about the pumpkin you're. all vanilla why did you get her vanilla. I just followed What Carlos tell it says. vanilla cold foam I didn't write vanilla. I said cold brew with cold foam it's. okay it's okay it's just funny cuz all. it was pum no honestly cuz I'm not going. to have it it's a waste please do it why. CU you can't you're not going to be able. to sleep tonight I'm allergic to. Pumpkin I should have mentioned. something this felt like a bad idea why. did I do this to myself imagine I just. turn into a.
pumpkin uh what did we learn today I. learned I actually learn I learned about. thoughts and you learn important you. might be white I might be white will you. do me a favor Carlos will you get on. like Wayfair and buy him an ottoman. right now and ship it to his house I. just want to see how you feel about an. ottoman once we put it in your house. I've never had one but I don't know what. to do with it I bet you do have one and. you just don't know what is yeah you. have a couch right yeah do you have. another piece of the couch where your. feet go on yeah that's an you have an. ottoman yeah oh that's what an ottoman. is oh you're white dude Oh I thought it. was more like an Ottoman Empire kind of.
thing I'm about to blow your mind what. what I'm about to blow your mind go. ahead you have a little I mean I've been. to your house you have a a formal dining. room right there's a place to eat right. there's also a little part off your. kitchen that's not really a dining area. but it's just kind of like a little. place to like you could snack right yeah. that's a Nook buddy dude you're so white. you're the [ __ ] whitest friend I have. you're so [ __ ]. white but I never go in there it's a.
Twinkie okay. okay oh my god dude that's a layer joke. that's so good holy [ __ ] give him credit. dude what the [ __ ] did you call me dude. you are the twinkie of this show holy. [ __ ] that's so good and explain Twinkie. for the viewers that doesn't know and. I'm a is peanut butter cup yeah yeah. yeah yeah so so you are yeah you are I. really am yeah so tell me what a Twinkie.
is my friend yeah what to the audience. what do you mean by TW buddy it's like. yellow on the outside but white on the. inside interesting interesting. interesting cuz I grew up during the. suburbs MH mhm wow dude Twinkie is. pretty good yeah Twinkie is a very good. thing and also kind of say something. then what do you call somebody that's. just full on just yellow. what about you what do you call it well.
what is full yellow i i i the reason why. I ask I don't know I can tell you tell. me I call you behind your back sometimes. what do you call me lemon. head that's full yellow that's full. yellow all the way through dude you're. right dude lemon head yeah or a lemon no. lemon head something about the lemon. head yeah yeah like bring up an image of. lemon head the guy you know the guy in. the Box how is that not you a that's my. little you're my little lemon head dude. I'm a [ __ ] lemon head dude when. people and I'm not you know dude let me.
say something to you I'm not mad at that. dude I know it's sweet yeah yeah you're. my little lemon head when they say when. people come to the studio and they go. what goes on in here I say me and my. little Lemonhead doe a showing from here. yeah this is me and my lemon. head it's great dude I don't like the do. you like that candy though no it's not. candy I think it's a. trick I think they [ __ ] put it out. just to [ __ ] with you no one ever likes. there's no chance someone gets a box of. look at that guy remember that guy from. the commercials W do him as a guy look.
at him look at that yeah look do you not. remember these commercials no I don't. dude a horror show go to YouTube bring. up lemon he this was insane they ran. these for a short amount of time they. were nightmare inducing dude that okay. this is one of the candies by the way. that was handed out sometimes if you see. someone at the movie theater getting a. box of lemon heads yeah leave I'm not. watching the movie with that guy yeah. yeah yeah yeah that's a sicko yeah and. what's a juju wa can't say that man it. was just yum kapor. but be juu be juu be yeah Juju be what.
is a JuJu be yeah I cuz I had it there's. no flavor it's just chewy they're gross. yeah I mean is. Juju. be it's a juu is Juju be good no they're. not no it doesn't even look it's no it's. that it's a colorful ones oh I was just. going to say I did get a really good. candy recently and it's these little. tiny gummies with mini nerds sprinkled. oh those are so good so good it's nerds. wrapped around like a gummy Squishy in.
the inside so the outside is a ball of. nerds and the inside is a squishy thing. so good I know all the door guys at the. mother sh are eating them nerds gummy. clusters they're so good wao dude I got. to get one of those dude top [ __ ] those. are top [ __ ] see they combine two things. into one let's do that right now with a. different candy you got it go yeah here. we go we take um you know I know what. candy. corn I'm already out yeah it's like the. worst it's the worst candy ever made and. you put it with circus.
peanuts yeah circus peanuts you're like. what if we wrap Juju bees with tic tacs. it's like well no yeah all right by the. way Tic Tacs breath Min white the orange. ones Candy yeah what was that breath. mints were the white one they said the. other ones were breath mins but the. orange ones were just candy yeah I never. used that wasn't a mint that was candy. yeah that's true what are the two things. you'll wrap okay I got one okay you know. the Chinese think speaking of. Chinese that. invisible that invisible.
communism what are you talking about. that invisible cloak sweeter than. communism no man I wait what let me get. it out all right it's that WAP that. melts in your mouth it's an invisible oh. the Listerine. strip they're like. listening more breath. yeah yeah wait it's an invisible You'. never seen this before the candy with. the. [ __ ] invisible I thought you talking.
about the it's like a clear dots on it. no there's a piece of candy a Chinese. candy and the on the outside of it is. like it's like a how do I explain it I. think you were scam no it's a clear [ __ ]. you man it's a clear like wrap and it it. melts in your mouth how much do you pay. for the invisible candy what does it. taste. like. give me another hundred I have some. here invisible Chinese wrap paper candy.
yeah yeah yeah invisible Chinese wrap. paper candy paper candy yeah what does. it taste like what does it taste like. Bud oh is that a 50 sheets of. transparent edible GL that's that no. that's rice paper that's rice paper are. you eating rice. paper they use that for baking I swear. to [ __ ] God man that no that's gelatin. it's a candy with um. put this out honestly right Chinese yeah.
candy yeah with. um it melts in your mouth like there's a. piece a it's. a a lay a layer it's like a sheet like a. sheet wrapped around a candy that melts. in your mouth before the candy what's. the candy inside oh like a Gob. stopper no those are Everlasting oh. right right right right oh no no that. that that White Rabbit cre White Rabbit. dude I never had that buddy yeah what in.
the [ __ ] is. this white rabbit cream yeah dude is. that the code name of the girl that came. over to Carlos's. house cream candy yeah it's a cream and. there's a yeah see see the outside it's. a paper and you just eat that you eat it. and the paper melts in your mouth first. see that paper yeah and then you get to. the [ __ ] rabbit you know what. happened these poor little Chinese yeah. these poor little Chinese kids they just. don't know how to they just forgot to.
unwrap it and then the company was like. yeah eat it fine [ __ ] it whatever order. a bag of that for us please yeah you're. going to love it I want to have a bag of. that for the studio I mean it does it. looks just like taffy yeah is that what. it is it's delicious though it's that. creamy and it's very light now do we. like taffy do you like taffy saltwater. taffy I never you know at when I go to. when I go to fairs I don't eat it what. do you eat at the fair then. you got to get T I get anything that's. fried like a like a you know deep fried. Oreos deep fried something something.
deep fried Oreos are unbelievable we got. so many great snacks of that Cracker. Barrel also fudge you guys love fudge no. no no no not all the whites I'm not a. big fudgy guy me either what's up with. like big blocks of fudge n some whites. like that yeah some whites like that. yeah are you the type of whites okay. she's a little bit of a fudge girl yeah. yeah yeah you got a little Little Fudge. she'll pack a little bit of fudge in but. not much but here's but can I say what. guys. do is a true delight and thank you so. much caramel apples I don't like them.
wrong they hurt you're wrong that's. where you lost all your teeth okay oh. don't make fun of my dental [ __ ] Hy I so. you know what's going to make you feel. better about that bring up Johnny Depp's. teeth it just went viral the other day I. mean look at this guy this looks like my. fence it looks like my fence in my front. yard zoom in on that oh [ __ ] look at. that no that's the picture right next to. it that's the one right there no the. square one bud that's. one that's his teeth after the that they. just got a photo of him now look I'm not.
being mean but yes I am what's going on. are you eating mud that's so rude maybe. he did that for Pirates of the cariban. that's exactly what he did you know what. this was method he was shooting is it. poop He was shooting an episode of is it. poop it does look like meth was involved. yeah that I mean does. he I mean he's a millionaire this was. butt Pirates of the Caribbean he was. eating so much ass. yeah he's a multi. multi-millionaire butd pirates of the. caran he was on the high.
seas oh I forgot this okay can you do a. different give me go give me to do like. okay let's go to the Pirates one those. are prosthetic so those are fake look. look at that those are fake those are. nice though those are fake teeth that's. not his real teeth those look better. than his real teeth yeah yeah that's. interesting no it's not interesting it's. crazy yeah yeah what do you but but. ladies even though he has [ __ ] up. teeth you'd still hook not after the. Amber her trial they wouldn't yeah what. are you talking about no really honestly. if Johnny Deb asks you out on a date. Johnny Deb are you single are you sing.
are you single no okay [ __ ] it if you. single you are you're single right well. let's get a poll of all three if you. were single and Johnny de asked you on a. date what would you go out no what if. would you go out no that's a no from her. real fast this one's pausing not Austin. why not like why not she just wants to. experience right know she's she wants to. experience yeah it's that's how it. starts then a couple months later you're. pooping in his bed to get back at him. throwing a glass at your face in the. living room I wonder if there's a woman.
out there that's beautiful that has. controversy like Johnny de that I. wouldn't date uh. Ellen well there's a couple reasons that. that wouldn't happen would oh yeah yeah. I forgot about controversial a. controversial public figure. Roseanne yeah Roseanne would you date. Roseanne you know I mean I have a thing. for her she actually is I love her. Amanda Knox would you date Amanda the. Knox she just did our Show in Seattle. you know that right yeah would you date. her if you were single she's a nice. woman you we have to name a. controversial woman that you would go on.
a date with who's got some who's. controversial Hollywood female starlets. now Amber Her Amber herd right the. easiest one there you go because I. because of the trail I just know things. about I just we wouldn't get along oh I. know Amanda bin oh yeah I but I know. Amanda so no I don't wouldn't do it you. guys aren so famous we can't play this. game no I knew her because what about. Kim Kardashian oh yeah. yeah no thanks yeah yeah you wouldn't go. out with her I already have we dated a. couple years. ago you did right after Ray J okay yeah.
what about Kaylin Jenner she's got she. killed somebody oh yeah would I do it. you know I would do it for the optics oh. because it's good publicly or what about. um what's what's the one it be like. kayin Jenner and her purse show up to. one of. the imagine how small you'd be next to. her she like 6'4 65 she. [ __ ] one of the greatest Olympians of. all time oh you're saying that I would.
look like a purse yeah yeah I just mean. like she brought like like a little bag. like a mobile fetish she brought she put. like a string on you and carry around I. couldn't be like her like madx I don't. think so you might be her. ottoman adopted kid. no bag bag you're a little purse no then. I don't I can't there's no controversial. no controver woman love what's. controversial about her she killed kirco. Bain Jesus oh my God mcain [ __ ] McCain.
is it John MC John McCain dude his new. nickname is McCain 100% McCain here we. go all right Lindsay Lohan 100% 100% I. wouldn't even think twice yeah yeah I. would go out with her Britney Spears. 100% bring the knives yeah bring the. knives Madonna Madonna 100% dude Madonna. change accents while we're talking Nicki. Minaj oh wouldn't Nicki Minaj is not. controversial she's the [ __ ] yeah yeah. what did she do uh Kim Kardashian who. says Roseanne. Bar what about hararia.
Baldwin who's from America but says. she's from fancy yeah yeah yeah all. those girls all the way across and. halfway [ __ ] what did she do yeah. what she do what did she do just don't. like her I don't give a [ __ ] also can I. just say about her great actress yeah. [ __ ] so good no [ __ ] great actress who's. kangana. rut who is it who's this Ral. oh she's a Bollywood star yeah. no yeah she's Bollywood.
star now that would be a land what. marrying a Bollywood star yeah do you. know how successful those people are. over there it would blow your mind. they're were the richest they're they're. like our movie stars are [ __ ]. compared to people but can I say. something yeah they only want light. skinned Indians to make it well look at. how lightskinned you are yeah I'm not. Indian you could be what. you didn't know that no I'm I mean.
who you're right I am I am I am I am. idiot yeah because even in certain of. these countries they they prefer lighter. skinned of their people that's the same. thing in your countries we're just. lightskinned no but Japanese like that. no dark well that's why that's why. Japanese carry around umbrellas and. stuff for the sun they don't want to get. any pigmentation in their yeah but why. is that a thing in in the world that. like W it's racist it's racist but it's. also like even it's class it's a yeah. it's a form of class right it's class.
system because if you worked outside. your skin was darker this goes back this. is this is this is his old as time so if. you were a a a light-skinned Spaniard. right it meant that you were wealthy. enough to not have to work outside right. that's all it was and then if you're and. then if you're a guy that you know [ __ ]. hookers on Hollywood Boulevard you're. Carlos yeah you're Mexican yeah but it's. not Hollywood Boulevard Santa Monica. sorry he's mad at you today did you see. that I know I'm not mad at him you're. you're in a little bit of a Nook a Nook.
yourself right now you're in a little. eating Nook well it's cuz he kicked me. earlier are you still in pain from this. you knew it was going to happen when you. challenged him brother you don't. challenge Bobby and caea you're going to. get [ __ ] worse yeah no it's my. [ __ ] fault well I got to tell you we. learned a lot today and I'm happy that. you're white thank you it changes my. whole perspective on our friendship and. I love being it thanks for thanks for. having me what can I get if I I'm a part. of the club now what do I get drink some. more pumpkin spice latte oh yeah do I. get like a lake view house you get. anything you want baby I can get in a.
lake view house you'll be up I'm white. now you'll be near the lake you won't be. on can I go to the country clubs you can. you can come to the dinner functions. work there you. mean like poor water yeah yeah okay. thank you thank you for being white. thank you for being a bad. friend. [Music]. woo.
wo. [Music]. wo.
