Immortal Kombat | Ep 64 | Bad Friends

hey bad friends uh bob is not on the. road right now but i. am go to andrewsantino.com for dates. andrewsantino.com for them tour dates. i'm gonna be in atlantic city at the end. of the month then i go to. houston and madison and boston and. nashville. and we're adding dates as we go be on. the lookout but go to androsantino.com. for tickets you two are bad friends who. are these two idiots. white dude i'm an asian dude you two. are oh you disgusting or something we're.

bad. friends you know the comedy store is. opening they call you they call they. send me text messages and phone calls. yeah they're opening up. i'm not coming back next week i'm not. coming back why aren't you until after. the panda. after i come back from europe right well. because you want to go to. right that's why i haven't written. anything in a year i have not written. anything. a year i don't think. [Laughter]. that was a good one it's a good real. good one it's a good joke you're in a. bad mood. no i'm not a bad i can tell you know. what you get more i can tell it's in.

your eyes. and your cheeks be honest what's going. on. are you annoyed that we're late no not. actually i wasn't i didn't even did i. mention it and i'm annoyed that she's. yawning so what's going on. people couldn't stop asking about rudy. at the show. i'm not i'm not i'm literally not making. that up yeah yeah. i'm not i'm not no that has nothing to. do with what my i'm not saying i'm in a. bad mood how many people do you think. we're in the room now how many people. were asking about rudy if i'm being. genuine after. the show i took some questions out of. the show yeah yeah. 13 people every single show.

what's rudy gonna do what's are you guys. gonna get rudy gone. who's gonna fill in yeah yeah oh. everybody asked and i said it's none of. your business we'll figure it out how we. have to figure it out it's so funny. because today we have. we had dinner for the first time at a. restaurant and um kalai lemon. which one jinya oh i love jinya ramen. no not ramen no hamburgers do you have. offshoot hamburger oh they did. yeah cheese were delicious wow yeah they. put some umami sauce on it.

cheeseburger yeah it's delicious. actually the time the ramen plate the. ramen was good. was it good yeah but anyway who um can i. finish my story. a bad mood shoots a bad mood i'm not in. a bed how am i in a bad mood hey i could. deal with your eyes. i could tell with your eyes what's going. on you to sleep well you know me well. i know what's going on i haven't been. getting any sleep. yeah you'd look tired and just like on. the edge i'm having night sweats. oh and i think it's because of the. vaccine i'm being serious. night sweats night sweats that's nice i.

looked it up it's part of it. oh night sweats and one of my testicles. disappears into my body in the middle of. the night it'll go. up into my body that's happened to me. and i'll have to go i know that happened. to me. all my life it just disappears it's just. gone it's never been there which one. right or left. both of them are just tucked inside my. [ __ ] dick do you know how they feel. like they're on strings i feel like. it just crawls up the string at night. and yeah let's go sometimes. yeah but it feels so strange in my body. too many how many wrinkles do you have. on my nuts yeah it's the it's i mean. it's my nose just so. wrinkled like you can't i can't count.

how could you i counted 962. 362. yeah mine looks like a brain it's. just like yeah it's just. rolls up like see yeah it's see. mine's like uh is your stretchy i call. it dune. because there's like a little jagged. sneeze snakes you're that little monster. a little snake comes out. yeah no too many people asked about you. that's all i want to say it was annoying. and and then everyone was like tell us. what school she's going to go to. and it's i said we're going to reveal it. on the show yeah yeah just wait till we. get to we're going to reveal it do you.

want to reveal it. we haven't decided yet yet anyway so we. were at the restaurant can i finish my. junior story or what yeah thank you. bad mood um i'm not in a bad mood. i can tell already i love it andres am i. in a bad mood. absolutely yeah yeah yeah go ahead. so um we're at junior and kalella goes. you know what. um juliana that's her real name yeah. rudy. rudy rudy juliana yeah rudy juliana um. you should have a waiting job and i go.

please oh that'd be cool i'll tell you. why i'll tell you why. because you have you waited tables dude. i've done overview. i did busing i did serving i did hosting. i did dishwashing. yeah you i didn't get slammed right yeah. for like an eight-hour shift. i mean you're just you know especially. at a busy restaurant yeah you get a. section right yeah as a waiter yeah. and it's like ketchup here tabasco here. i got an order coming up here. i said no tomato they want their check. and you're running around. in a circle for eight hours like losing.

like a. mania yeah what the [ __ ] what the [ __ ] i. mean. and then at the end of the day you get. 90 maybe maybe maybe yeah right. this ungrateful little i i don't. right she she but you sit here you yawn. yeah right you say three things like i. agree tito andrew or whatever yeah and. then sometimes i don't know where she'll. go. the jews then you're like whoa oh crazy. what too far.

but my point is is that i want her to. have a waiting job yeah you need one so. that she can just realize how lucky she. is how lucky she is. all right well let's do it right now i'm. a customer we might my husband and i. just sat down to eat. yeah why don't you serve us yet hello. hello hi do you have any specials yes we. have. the apple cider salad oh you love. apple cider vinegar. yeah i love how they pigment you eat the. lettuce.

they dip it right they dip it in the. lettuce that the apple cider yeah. there's not like 24 hours. there it is delicious is that a real. salad that's an. autumn chopped apple cider salad yeah. yeah what else do you have a salad for. uh we have the carnitas. carnitas i love carnitas what does that. come with. tacos oh so you get you get tired you. get tacos with the carnitas. what kind of taco so do you get carnitas. just a plate of carnitas and then two. things you get tacos.

and carnitas wow wow all right what's. how much is that. we'll split the apple cider salad and. then we'll also split the carnitas on. the tacos. anything else on the uh special special. menu uh do you want drinks. yeah what do you have what do you have. to offer we're not really into. we're a couple obviously clearly yeah. and. him i like gays.

what she said i like gays and you know. what. that's so we're fine with that you're. lucky we're fine with you yeah but. generally you shouldn't say that if you. were a black couple. right you you shouldn't say i love. blacks right even if you do and that's. fine that you do but you just don't go i. like blacks. and internally you can feel that right. to outwardly say that. right we're cool with the gay comment. though more fun how can i show that i. like you. just be nice to us just be nice and. because we're normal we're just regular. people.

yeah right so um don't treat us any. different. so you have we ordered those two things. so in terms of drinks. we're not into sugar right now we're not. on a sugar cutting sugar right out of. our diet. and so whatever well it said well we. want to fancy it up because this is. what is this restaurant called again. this is uh what. was the menu oh yeah what was it um. [Music]. i love tokyo this is a chain right yeah. yeah yeah great change yeah it started. in el paso.

there was two in el paso and then one in. albuquerque and then i think that's why. they came here where we are. in southern california delicious well so. here at tottatinoanis do you have. anything else to drink that wouldn't be. water yeah. um we have something similar to water. which which is what. which is what um um. spraying water oh spring water spring. water here how fancy that's cool. we do like really we love spring we'll. take a bucket of that we'll take a. bucket of. [ __ ] spring water please yeah okay.

and yeah do you have any desserts. yeah actually we might we like to order. dessert when we're ordering the whole. meal yeah. because they like it on the table to. look at what's coming what's coming. to give us a reward yeah we just have. chocolate pot pie a. chocolate pot pie perfect perfect so. um so it just seems like a lot of sugar. we are cutting out. we're cutting out sugar but desserts are. full of sugars. well we've been to plenty of restaurants. that don't have sugar desserts.

i mean something like you have anything. lighter than a chocolate pot pie. oh yeah and what's in the chocolate is. it let me ask you can i ask you a. question chocolate is it. a chicken pot pie so it's basically the. crust of a pie. of a pie inside it's just pure chocolate. chocolate. melted chocolate the chef will give you. a surprise. and put potatoes and oh yeah. like they do that winning combination of. potatoes and chocolate that everybody. strives for yeah yeah potato chocolate.

okay. well listen listen that's fine do you. have something lighter because yeah take. a look. he's not but i'm on a diet and i'd like. to shed some pounds and. that's why he agreed to do the sugar. thing with me which was sweet well i. mean just because you like gays um he's. literally the the bottom. yeah i mean he's the bottom so he. doesn't really need to lose the weight. we like to call it the first layer i'm. the first lady. i'm the first layer so i i just would. like to lose a little bit of weight okay. so what else do you have that's lighter. dessert wise salad ice cream. ah salad ice cream just salad with ice.

cream on top. yeah what flavor ice cream is on top. yeah strawberry strawberry salad. it's like it's let me ask you this so. it's a lettuce cup. and you scoop ice cream into it yeah it. tastes good. you know there it is there's that salad. ice cream that you like so much so much. well okay i guess we'll take those items. items okay and now we're done. we're done now okay ready and can we. have the check please. here you go ah thank you very much whoa.

what. excuse me 425 well how. how could we have we got literally a. salad carnitas tacos. yeah we got the and the ice cream salad. the spring water is oh. oh here we go you ordered a bucket yeah. we did yeah of. spring water so [ __ ] uh let me ask. you so a. bucket of spring water at this. restaurant it's pretty is that. 129 30 135 55. 135 wow i guess and where's this water.

from. from mount everest oh that explains wow. that explains it i wish you told us that. up front we probably don't know what. the regular water maybe you said you. wanted fancy. we did want fancy yeah it just okay i. don't the one thing i don't like on here. you know sometimes servers will sign. their name they'll write like. thanks margot with like a heart in it. right yeah this one says thanks you gays. i know why i try to re-pass that but. look. yeah it's fine that you feel that way. and that you're cool with us but.

you know listen we i'll be honest with. you we're not. we just didn't realize the tea of. tijuana was it to to tell you what. you wanted to this is so expensive and. we only have four hundred and thirty. dollars. yeah yeah so we're gonna we're gonna. leave you whatever the tip. whatever the la just whatever changes. left over is that okay is it okay. it's fine i support gays. just you know what can i talk to your. manager honey honey. honey honey honey i want to talk to your.

buddy no because. we know the third time she said that i. don't let's call. let's not talk to the manager we'll just. call corporate okay that's fine we'll. call corporate. uh i just want to say something sweetie. oh sweetie yeah you just you crossed the. line. that's the first time the first time. right. was okay we were gonna let that pass. then you. threw one in there you know in the. middle of the middle of everything right. and now to add a third one is offensive. not necessarily i was just saying it's. fine.

no let's talk to the manager let's talk. to the manager please ah here he is now. there she is. there is there here's the manager now oh. there he is. any problems yeah yeah your. waiter mentioned you know we we. we mentioned that we were a gay couple. oh and she was the poor guys in this. restaurant we understand we know that it. comes from the top. it comes from the top i know you can. feel it trickle down trickle trickle. down. racism yeah all right so sir. she multiple times during our meal had.

mentioned that she liked gays. which we understand that's a cool that's. fine we like that but. i don't think she needs to bring up our. sexuality during the dinner also because. i just was a side note why. is spring water 125 that should have. been my first question yeah that should. have been. it comes from mont everest. well i guess that's that i guess that's. that makes sense anyway so and then so. she threw in a gay bomb yummy in the. middle three times three times. the third one was a little offensive oh. i'm so sorry. rudy jules can i talk to you for a.

second okay you don't. tell them that you like them you just. like smile. and that's it that's right but you said. to express love. yeah but uh with a smile you know good. service. that's it okay okay okay is there a. is there like a gay discount that you. guys might have to make up for some of. the. what you just did like do we we do have. a gay discount 20. off if you can prove that you're gay you. know what you can i just say something. if you can prove you want us to prove. that we're gay.

can you imagine this restaurant can you. imagine this restaurant you have to. prove your by the way i imagine a. restaurant a couple walking a couple. sitting down enjoy and rudy comes up and. just goes i love gays. yeah no we're something we do a lot of. gay stuff and i just feel like that. whole scene. we don't do a lot of gay stuff we do. we're always a gay couple we're always. [ __ ]. right and we're always doing something. this is a fantasy i understand that but. let's. you know can we be something else like. hermaphrodites or. sure fine or what isn't her from raphael.

you're born with both genitalia. let's just do that okay. let's try that but not right now because. we already did this scene what if we're. like. the next i know but the next scene okay. the problem will not be gay. okay good luck yeah we're we're brothers. but we both happen to be hermaphrodites. and sometimes we kiss. yeah sometimes but that's just you know. either family that's a family stuff. that's right. yeah yeah yeah that's like to say. goodbye yeah we [ __ ] kiss but that. that's family. that's family stuff that makes sense but. for us to always say that we're gay.

i just feel like we don't want to. stretch our lives it's not that it's not. that it's just. because we're two guys that host this. and rudy jules is. the resident queen of the pod here yeah. when we're in a relationship. on the uh but why aren't we pirates ah. you know i mean because we're gay guys. oh yeah that's right. look at this by the way look at look at. what uh look at what gaps gaps is. brought up on the screen. yeah um i honestly um.

you i look like a girl that just is a no. you. look [ __ ] yeah you look. like somebody that like um i'm a let's. i'm a heroin dealer i'm in a small town. right somewhere in massachusetts right. and you look like somebody just says. i just don't have the money. [Laughter]. right and i'm like you know i mean what. are we going to do about it. and i'm like you know i need to get. something out of it that kind of a. situation like well. what do you want and then you you. propose something that's like out of.

control. like i'll i'll stick gerbils in my. vagina. right right and i'm like i didn't offer. that but i did. yeah yeah so can i have the yes i'll. throw i need the h bad. yeah this actually these two girls go. out together. these two girls go out and party at. night if you were a drug addict what. um what drug would i be no no but like. like if you and i were on crack. what is your line what do you mean we're. like we're street people. yeah you and i are three people right.

right we're living under our tent yeah. under bridge under the freeway on the. freeway yeah. we we need heroin eight hours a day. every eight hours we need it yeah our. kick we gotta get our fix oh we start. going to detox right. right so what are you willing to. honestly though what would you be. willing to do. kill you would i don't want to do. something would you suck dick. or kill i don't want to do sex favors. i'll i'd rather be the murderer you. i know you're not killing anybody i'm. not killing no no no. no you're too much of a sweet boy i'm. stabbing for sure for heroin.

but then you go to prison i know but. it's better that well and then i'll have. to smoke. there so it's like i'll get over it at. some point yeah yeah i don't want it i. just don't want to do oh my god that's. rudy as a duty. oh my god wow car there's carlos. centilius. he's one of the members of the band yeah. rudy look at what you look like as a. dude. why do you look like a mexican guy you. look like what. we have gilbert you look like gilbert. yeah a little bit yeah. i think you look like a mexican guy. there yeah.

wow let me ask you something last night. um we were watching the fights. yeah yeah we did but there were there. were many nights ago. two weeks ago a couple weeks ago three. weeks ago. okay yeah and you're watching the fights. we're only watching the fights. and um i kind of got to fight with the. people in the house because let me just. say this i got slapped in the face by. the way. who hit you in the face like backhanded. my face. hard she she was gonna go really hard.

but she kind of. held back a little bit but i could tell. but there was an anger you saw it right. yeah. yeah yeah and it's because um. you know rose nami yunus fought wayley. yeah the chinese one correct right love. chinese people. yeah i'm asian stop asian hate i'm not. doing it okay go ahead. but i was um rooting for rose. why because rose does things that. she seems like she does the impossible.

like um. when she beat johanna young and jay. check the first time. right it was it was there's no in in. your mind you would. she was never going to beat her right i. mean because johanna was just. tearing through that division and um. you know johanna fought not johanna rose. fought people like. paige van sant and people that were even. in the sim. in the same category category yeah. johanna was the queen of the strawweight. division right on. beat her yep knocked her out yeah in the.

first round. and so in this one it's like you know. here we have waylee who's like. this buff monstrosity jacked jacked. right. so she's you know you just think that. her work ethic is. probably out the window you know i mean. right and. and rose is you know obviously not the. betting favorite you know she. people think she's gonna lose and she. was able to. knock her out in the first round with. the kick you see that kick it was pretty.

it was pretty. amazing it was incredible right kicks to. the face. oh my god she falls over she gets she. loses whaley and i. yeah you know i go you know i'm a poor. woman you love it. i'm a poor winner you are a poor you're. a poor loser you're a. you're just as poor of a winner as you. are losing i'm a poor in everything. you're poor. yeah yeah yeah yeah i went. you know you're rubbing it in yeah and i. i think i. i did a you know i mean i did a [ __ ]. dance move like a swirl.

yeah yeah you know what i mean and i i. told you. and i went crazy i told you i joined it. yeah yeah yeah and. yeah you know i in their face i went to. people's faces. yeah you know went crazy right and then. she just went. pep in my head good and she goes and she. goes. you know are you white are you white. yeah because i supported the white one. ah. you know what i mean like in a situation. a lot of whites. now when she said that right i go maybe.

i am yeah maybe you are. no no but am i. a little why well because you support a. lot of whites. yeah but it's like why do i have to as. an american citizen. as an american citizen why can't i. choose whoever you want yeah why can't i. root for the american i'm an american. you can. right but i freak because i'm an asian i. have to. vote i have to root for the [ __ ]. china china it should be your angle. yeah you should you should just want to. go with the asians right so what i'm.

saying. for like if you're watching a sport i. have to root for conor mcgregor. i don't have a choice you do every time. i had to. i don't know even when i thought i. shouldn't no really because it's like a. thing you're like ah it's a pride for a. country a little bit. that's why they waved the flags at every. ufc event they always have their flags. there. yeah it's just it's like you're supposed. to a little bit huh. i i don't know why i don't like it but. it's like something inside you was like. i guess i should root for. my own squad yeah you know what i mean.

if it's racist if it's like if it's like. all about the race of it but if it's. about the nationality. um then you kind of got to root for your. national team i mean. you're american but like but like what. but you know you're you're also asian. like i'm i'm american but i'm also irish. so like you know yeah. i got it you're italian i'm both but. yeah but there's no. italian who what are the ufc italian. fighters that i'm rooting for i i want. to live in a world where that's not a. factor i would love that to put.

put your hand down i would love that. don't do that i would love that. [ __ ] you but that's not possible i know. you're talking about utopian society. yeah i think can't we because let me. just say what are you a liberal. no what are you a libby cuck listen. snowflake that's why i loved star trek. babble. for most of us andrew learning a second. language in high school or college. wasn't exactly a high point. in our academic career i failed it was. very difficult i failed uh spanish once.

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it's so good it should just be coming. out of our taps yeah because i want to. shower in it because. it's so nutritious it's delicious if you. don't know what it is i have it in my. bottle right now it's a liquid iv plus. immune support yeah it keeps you uh. feeling good it's first thing in the. morning before a workout when you feel. down. hanging over hanging over or you're. feeling like you know like you're. getting sickly. yeah which i do often yeah it's a great. tasting functional product makes you. feel awesome i'm glad you said great. tasting because what i like about liquid. iv. is also the flavors yeah they have. really good flavors they have very very. good flavors like vitamin c.

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know everybody. people people don't people on planet or. there's no more money anymore right. right and people just try to strive to. better themselves. but you love money just listen to what. i'm saying okay i know and. maybe these are aspects that i hate. about myself correct so just listen to. what i'm saying right okay go ahead so. it's like you know. um you know in that world you know we're. our old. objective is to explore to grow. and um to discover things about. within ourselves and also on the outside.

right but who's paying for the gas for. the spaceship. just the planet earth right and i don't. think it runs on gas. what does it run on you think there's a. gas station up there there's gotta be. in the romulan [ __ ] well well what. what. what force does it run on hope. no no it probably no dilithium crystals. who gets who's mining the dilithium. crystals aha uh. mexicans for sure mexicans. yeah even in outer space in space yeah.

you're right. you're trying to get to a point yes. you're right yeah but i just want to get. to a point where it's like you know. i understand what you're saying i don't. think you do no i do i think you're. saying that you. you wish that stuff didn't mean as dean. mean mean as much as it does no. there's also a sense of guilt of like. you know am i not. supportive of other like when i'm i'm. not. when asians get beat up on the streets. it's offensive to me. of to me sure and i want to fight that. right and maybe and maybe if it was. happening to another.

you know ethnicity it would still be. appalling to me but not as appalling. yeah well it's not going to affect you. unless it literally so that you know. that you know but i still. would be you know i mean it would affect. me still you know but um. you know i just find it interesting that. it's like you know i can't. you know support a white person you can. but then i get backlash. but you do it privately within myself. right you do it. so when so publicly so when whaley got. knocked down. correct i should have went oh oh.

what that no of thing that's so bad. wow yeah okay you have to celebrate uh. uh you have to celebrate internally who. did you support did you like the fights. rude yeah i liked it. you liked fighting everyone when whaley. got defeated everyone was sad except he. to bobby. that's why i got really mad what did i. do what did i do. you were screaming and jumping yeah and. then. kyle said that rose said something.

racist too. what did she say oh before all right. here we go so. what she said her i guess her great. her grandfather was um lithuanian. okay and died by from the communists. that's terrible you fell off a tower. what did the communists push him off a. tower i get yeah like. game of thrones cool yeah it's a cool. way to go. and then his you know i mean his her. grandfather fell. off the tower and became a war.

and you know we could fly with through a. crow yeah yeah pretty cool that's funny. that's kind of cool but no um. she was like i want to defeat communism. oh that oh oh yeah it was about better. that was her like thing to get behind. i'm sure. yeah i mean but it's like but that is. kind of [ __ ] because it's like. what does whaley probably has no i mean. you're born into a system. yeah right where you know you have to. abide abide by. it's like it's like you know i'm sorry.

this is a comedy podcast i'm just. go for it baby. but it's like you know you're saying. she's she might not be communist no it's. like. you know that or agree with 76 days. where it showed. the first 76 days of you know i mean the. covid epidemic in wuhan uh yeah yeah and. you know these villagers and these. townsfeed people they don't know what it. is. they didn't have anything to do with. right right this outbreak. they're just born into a town.

you're now a fisherman or whatever you. might be working at a market. all of a sudden you're sick you know. what the [ __ ] is going on whaley is the. same with probably kind meal as. communism i mean she's born into a. system yeah system. and the government knew by the way what. do you mean the chinese government knew. about what about corona i know but they. didn't do you think that they it was a. they created a lab and they they didn't. tell the people. not to tell anybody they just didn't. tell anybody when people were dying. they were trying to find a way to cover.

it up yeah yeah which is what our. government does the same [ __ ] up [ __ ]. when they're like. uh we'll figure out a way to cover how. weird that the government now is. acknowledging aliens do you not see all. these reports now that they're like. they're open now about it for all these. years they were like that's a ufo. that's a [ __ ] ufo and the. government's like no it's not. and now look up any article they're like. yeah okay it's a ufo well the little. grays have been living with us probably. about 70 years. at least you know the little grays at. least yeah. at least look look up look up little.

grays. little tinies i told you about my. yeah have you been abducted nobody had. an experience. well what is it and you're not gonna. believe me. i'm gonna i'm in and i'm being i'm. really sorry i believe in aliens first. of all let me just say this. no today obviously my tone is very. serious uh it was for a minute but we. can get back. no no but this is that's why you know. that when i talk about the little grays. that i'm being serious i can feel it. thank you i can feel it.

so a long time ago i was 17 years old. and i was in a rehab for first or second. stint. it was my second one right third one it. was my third one third time's a charm. yeah yeah. i was at the mcdonald center and i met. this man. wait what i didn't hear that mcdonald's. center oh the mcdonald's center. yeah like the mcdonald's sponsors a. rehab. yeah how's the food delicious yeah. they're like while you're kicking heroin. get diabetes.

so anyway um i met this man there and he. was like. a 50 year old man he was in the so i was. in the kids award. the teenage drug reward right you're. there for 45 days. and then it was an adult ward but. sometimes we would get together and go. to meetings and whatnot. right so i met this man there and um. his name was tom he's 50 years old or. whatever. and i would go to these men's meet i. would run into this guy all the time he. looked like a. just a white accountant vibe.

yeah right and one day uh you know. sometimes. there's this thing after an a meeting. where they go you know um. the meeting after the meeting which is. like you know all the guys or. girls they go to a restaurant and they. socialize it's drink coffee. smoke cigarettes eat all night yeah you. eat right i've seen you guys at swingers. they used to do it all the time yeah. yeah yeah yeah yeah you don't like it. i just i i just it just uh i i can just. you can. go ahead i just when you walk in in. there i'm like hi can we get the table. in the back you know that corner of. swingers i used to love and they're like.

there there's a group back there i'm. like [ __ ] addicts. they're always back and they're drinking. coffee all night so they're never going. to give them they're never going to. leave their hands. no i hate it they always have the good. taste is fine [ __ ] addicts it's fine. [ __ ] addicts i knew every time i like. there's a group back there i'm like god. damn. so anyway so after and sometimes when. you go to a meeting. um you go around to people and go hey. you guys going to go out and eat. no oh some people are like that right. and so one. the day i was at a meeting and that.

happened are you guys going going yeah. but no. no we're going somewhere else you know. and nobody but tom was there. this old guy he goes ali with you. [Music]. and i'm 17. okay all right where do you. want to go he's like i love eating with. little boys. let's go to the delicatessen or whatever. a deli. yeah yeah let's call it delicatessen. delicatessen so we go to the delegate. essence. and we're just sitting there eating and. he goes um. you know what i used to do right and i.

go what he goes. i used to work for the military you know. and i go oh and i'm just eating like an. omelette mm-hmm i go oh that's. interesting. you know i mean i can't wait to get out. of there he goes they're after me. i love this guy why i love this guy. because they're after me. why is it only white guys i don't know. why it turns out. i'm scared now because you're i'm from. the suburbs yeah. at this point i've never seen a black. person. i don't know so you think black people.

are after no i don't know anything. i don't know anything i don't know. anything if i saw an american indian i. would probably. you mean cry with joy right pick up your. uh yeah i'm just like. no no i'm just like i'm innocent. you're yeah yeah because all my drug. dealings and stuff happened in. san diego from where i'm from tiny. little neighborhood right a little. neighborhood so i don't know anything. outside this world okay right. so i go oh cool and he goes um in fact. uh. they're after me i go oh you know i'm. eating yeah okay and he goes.

i'm living under my van and i go. and now i'm scared because i've seen tv. shows. yeah i mean this is where you die yeah. and i know what happens to little boys. and vans. right right he's like finish your omelet. he goes uh. did you hear about the little grays i. know about the little grays he said. and i go and i'm like what is it now. you're interested i don't know what. what's the little gray he goes. they live they've been living amongst us. for many many years.

they live underneath one i don't know i. don't remember which one i was young so. i don't remember which. which military you know i mean compound. area 51 no it wasn't miller area 51 it. was some in somewhere in virginia or. whatever. and he goes they live you know i mean. amongst themselves they're little they. can read. that telepathy they have kinetic. powers and whatnot right yeah and um. they live amongst us and i go. oh and he goes i stole. uh files from the military that's why.

they're after me. right that's what he says to me right so. i go. oh and he goes i could show you. why is he shouldering inside a 10 year. old boy i do right it's during the day. though too. and the parking lot's like you know i. mean okay. packed so you said come out today it's a. very popular delicatessen come on out to. the van yeah so i'll go to the van. let me show you the files in there yeah. so it opens up the back door. right and i see a mattress right and i'm. not now i'm in a point where it's like i.

know i can run right you're outside yeah. he also he's an a. he's a nice guy so um now i'm not. kidding you. on the side of this [ __ ] van right. there's a shotgun. guns ammo inside yeah inside yeah. there's files right there's like a suit. yep right there's clothing and in the. corner of the van. right um i think there's like a little. stove yeah he's got to eat he's got to. eat right. but it's like you know it looked like.

you know a zombie apocalypse. van he looks like a crazy person who. steals little asian boys and takes them. in the van and says. that's not true and he goes in the van. comes out with these. military documents as far as you know as. far as i know but you know i've never. seen a military document before that's. right they looked. legit with the stamps gotta have a stamp. what did we get. military always stamp stuff yeah there's. photographs if there's anything you know. about the military. they stamp photographs and photographs. cut to. so i see them right and i go anyway i.

gotta go home i'm in school. right so you know i go home. and then maybe a year later i don't see. him for a year. tom's gone yeah i see a year later and. now. he looks different his eyes are like. bug-eyed. he's got like hair like this drugs no. okay right and he just looks skinny. drugs. and he looks fearful drugs okay i don't. know right. don't make assumptions well he was in. the night yeah he went you're just mad.

about the swingers. go ahead you're mad about swingers i. know what happened okay go ahead okay. i go hey man how's it going he goes i. don't have long left. right drugs i and then i never saw him. again. yeah yeah this is drugs no the probably. he died of drugs not everybody. got him no the drug the alien heroin the. military. and was like the military the military. you think the military little guy's got. him yeah yeah look up ufo look up. government. government admits ufo don't hold your. breath for a breakthrough. but still the department of defense.

confirmed. just they're here but isn't it [ __ ]. they're here don't remember we were kids. when we were kids yeah. all we ever heard was they were like. that's [ __ ] it's fake the government. shut it down constantly right yeah they. should be like that's not true. yeah there is no ufo the moon landing. was real you know they told us all these. lies the earth is round all these lies. they've given us over the years. i know look at she's yawning again i. know you need anger management classes. sure yeah see what i'm saying here we go. you're there. it's right here it's pouring out you're.

gonna cry you're gonna cry rage. i wish i could cry yeah yeah i've i. haven't cried when was the last time you. cried rudy. last night yeah why did you cry. a movie what movie is a movie mortal. kombat. no sub-zero what did you cry for. it was a love story oh a walk to. remember. oh i love a walk to remember you see it. yes have you seen this movie. are you kidding me yeah what a cute. movie what it was good.

it's really sweet it's mandy moore it's. mandy moore and what's the guy's name. what a movie a walk to remember do you. want. do you even know what it's about i don't. like love stories this is. beautiful mandy moore and what's his. name shane west. shane west so mandy more. mandy moore mandy moore is mandy moore. is paralyzed. from the neck down why is it always the. neck down why can't it be from the ears. down.

well because you can still feel your. ears usually because this is two. separate uh. oh it is i'm not a doctor so mandy mandy. gets mandy more this movie gets in a. tragic. a tragic car accident right after high. school this is her high school boyfriend. right yeah yeah. she gets paralyzed from the neck down is. this true yeah okay she gets paralyzed. from the neck down mandy moore. okay yeah this everyone goes off to. college and does their thing meanwhile. you know she's. you know she's totally bugged out in a. wheelchair she's stephen hawking. basically. okay and everyone goes off to college. now now this guy moves back into town.

because his mom is sick right so he. comes back and attacks years later. years later how many years i think it's. like five what is it five or six years. five or six years he moves back into. town comes back into this small little. town yeah. okay in tennessee yeah and he comes back. and sees old mandy and. yeah okay and he and and they form a. love connection. because of the loss of his mother and. that mandy herself had lost her mother. as well in the car accident okay. so then what happens this is insane.

you're not gonna believe this. you're not gonna believe this he gets. her to walk. he actually gets her to walk how he. could he creates us like he's a he's a. he's a um why are you laughing nothing. it's just. he knows the details because i did love. this movie. oh you so he's i feel like he's making. it up no. this is the movie yeah it doesn't seem. real to me it. he's an engine it doesn't because i'm. saying he comes back he falls in love. with this girl he's an engineer right he. he was a he was an aerospace engineer.

right he comes back he builds her a. contraption to get her out of the chair. and it physically makes her walk on the. beach for the first time let's be honest. though so it's a walk to her and she's. physically walking on the beach together. can i just ask. the most beautiful movie i've ever seen. what. um let's suppose i've never seen this. movie. but i want to see it though you've never. seen it. yet so you were lying yeah yeah. that's a great but imagine her on the. beach walking and he's machine.

operating that was really good. that was really good so you never saw it. no i yeah i have no idea what that movie. is. i have no idea what is it about roots. yeah the girl has a sickness. cold told you well you knew that did you. know that these movies are all the same. poppy. these are written these are written in a. form andres knows what this is because. he went to film school with a guy that. probably wrote it. these guys all write the same movie. she's sick or he's sick and there's a. family and there's a love connection and. there's a guy that comes in the middle. of it. or or someone else or her brother. doesn't like him these movies are.

there's a billion of them they're. hallmark you've seen hallmark films yeah. there's a hallmark film the guy goes. there's a girl in the big city. and she moves back to small town or vice. versa and it's like oh what's going on. big hutch. hot big city hot shot it's all the same. and then they find out that they all. they need is love and you don't need. money or work and whatever and. look at that when landon shane west. decides he wants to make this activity. serious he asks jamie mandy moore to. help. uh and begins to spend most of the time. with her we start to develop strong. feelings for the two-star relationship. with the heartbreaking secret becomes. known that puts their relationship to. the test.

which is of course she's sick she's. gonna die yadda yadda this is the same. as. uh uh [ __ ] what's the macaulay culka. movie with the bees when it's stung by. the bees my girl. orbeez my girl killer bees. uh so let me let me ask you it's all the. same movie but to me. just the premise in itself i'm going to. sound so bad right now. but just let's be honest with ourselves. i'm here. all right it does it's like if you're. dating somebody. right in high school okay you don't have. the you know or even early early 20s. and your girl like i'm your girlfriend.

let's suppose and i said are we gay for. this party no no i'm a girl. all right fine fine all right so can we. be half of hermaphrodites. yes that's what i like okay no so you're. dating we're dating in high school for. real go. yeah and i think i should be the guy. because this is my point. okay that's fine that's fine i'm secure. enough. hey baby yeah what's up how did the. doctor appointment go wait a minute i. don't want to play that character like. that that's. cheesy yeah yeah go ahead do it again. all right hey sweetheart. hey what up no why i don't like her.

she's post-op i know she's had it no no. because. why can't i play the girl that i want to. play can you just play your post-op. you want to play post-op just go again. all right fine all right. i got to go deeper though that's fine if. you're going to go deep i got to go you. don't have a deep voice. i'm going to try it all right go ahead. station. usa you know how we ship products uh. here on the show like this very. beautiful shirt that. we've got every business i have i use.

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first month free. keeps dot com slash bad friends k-e-p-s. dot com slash bad friends. hey what's up man i love you boo i love. you too. so what's going on oh what was the. doctor's appointment like. pretty bad. i got three letters for you.

that's what they said holy man because. we've been we've been we were [ __ ]. without going. yeah baby well i'm your girl you love me. hold up so stay right here okay i want. to make a phone call you got it. all right ring ring hello doctor. let's play the duck hello hi i think i. need a hiv. test okay tomorrow okay you can come.

back. 2 p.m okay i'll be free okay so um okay. baby yeah i made a doctor's appointment. okay. yeah so anyway you dying. clearly wait a minute what was this. about at the beginning. we got away from it real bad wait you. said. he said no one in high school no one in. high school would okay. even in your channel i got to get okay. here's what is the hiv. it can't be hiv i'm dying of cancer i. can't be hiv though.

why hiv people you can still live with. hiv. this isn't when did this movie come out. when this movie come out oh too that was. it was still maybe yeah there were still. people though getting the cocktail. maybe but there were times tougher than. they lived back then can it be a. different disease. fine all right and the voice can we. alright we'll switch up the. voice is driving me crazy okay go ahead. well let's do voices but let's just. figure what that is going to be. let's surprise me okay perfect all right. all right. hey baby yes.

tell me what this scenario is like well. let's improvise it. i know but what i'm at what i'm asking. telling you is is that i don't think. that a young couple right. i think that if you know a guy you know. is dating a girl and she's like you know. i have this. rare disease i'm gonna be dead in six. months right yeah right. i think that he'll stay with the girl. out of guilt. what if he's in love i don't know rudy.

well that you're a hard person yeah. women are different. i'm being real it's like you're okay. okay if kalila got into that's different. because kalila got sick right now it's. different. because you because you're older not. only older i understand what life is. much more sure you mean i you know i. have more days. you know i mean behind me than a head. let's ask gabs then she's another woman. that's not. rudy then yeah but women have a. different point of view i i feel like if. i. like if i had some terminal disease. and koala had to take care of me it.

would be far different than. if it was vice versa why my feeling. because i just don't know how to do it. emotionally. like a woman does you're saying her. strength they're stronger than you. yeah it's like you know um i need to go. to the appointment to get you know i. mean my spine. you know what i mean you know re. regeneration. right and i'm like where do we gotta go. every we have to do regeneration therapy. monday wednesday friday and it's in. santa barbara. noon to two yeah and we have to get up. at seven in the morning and then it.

would just be one of those things where. it's like fine regeneration yeah. it's gonna be one of those things where. it's gonna be like i'll go i'll. obviously go yeah we'll do it. right but it's gonna like i think it'll. show on my face. you you're like in the morning let's. just be like all right let's go so. so if kalila needed spine regeneration. and she was i would do it i would do it. begrudgingly. but you're lazy to bobby there it is and. that's exactly right that's exactly. correct a lot of guys are lazy maybe. andrew isn't lazy that's right all right.

no i would take her to do it i wouldn't. even think about it. either would i but you just said i'm. being honest you said you i'm being too. i don't think i. think i i don't think you're being. honest no i'm being genuine if she said. i have every monday you have to wake up. six months that you. wouldn't even no because i wake up on. monday night and she's gonna die anyway. in six months oh sure. yeah yeah because then you're right then. it's a countdown how exciting. six months then every month i'm just. like five more months. yeah yeah how about this if kalala got. into a tragic car accident she was. paralyzed from the neck down. would you stay yeah you would stay 100.

because it'd be easy to leave. i wouldn't you couldn't even how could. you catch you. no there's no way because your house. isn't a wheelchair ready. no because her and i have um i mean in. history. no no it's not just history it's a. clearly i'm kidding of course it's a. it's a um. a connection that's far beyond just the. physical right if you if. if i can say it's probably more than. it's probably almost never because she. was today or she was talking about how. your relationship is maybe not physical. at all anymore we are physical but.

uh today she was talking about how when. she was born or. growing up yeah growing up um there was. these two. teenage girls that were murdered in the. philippines and they had their titties. cut off. right and she knew a guy that was. accused of it whatever it might be. you knew the guy no she didn't she. wasn't born yet so lyla did. but i was like she's like it could have. been me and my sister right that got her. cut off right and then my response after. that was like. oh well then my life would have been.

completely worse than it is now. because she didn't have tits no if she. had died. you know me in the 70s or 80s right. right. then and i'd never met her i don't know. if i. would be here with you right now i don't. think i think my life would be. completely different. butterfly effect for sure everything. would be different i think would be way. worse. because it's like well that's hard to. say i'll tell you i'll tell you why. though. i think that's true is because um. everything that's positive in my life is. because of her.

is a direct result of meeting her that's. probably. in terms of just um just the trajectory. of. my career the trajectory of you know. wanting to get better as a human being. the trajectory of like just. everything you think if kaleido wasn't. what didn't check you down when you. relapsed if you didn't have heard that. would have been. i might have still been out there you. know but it's not even just that it's. like. when i did years ago when we lived in. that apartment in on beechwood. [Music].

she was like um we should do a podcast. and i'm like. no she goes well i'm gonna do one on my. own then. go ahead she went to the guitar center. by herself. right she set it up in the room and she. did it on her own for like a month. right and then one day i walked by her. the door was open and she was just. sitting. there in a mic and just didn't know what. to say. you know she's just sitting there she. had done it right. and i just kind of went all right we'll.

do one so i would go let's just call. tiger belly and she's like. why i'm like because no one's gonna. listen to this anyway it doesn't make. any sense it's a non-sequitur. right right and we started doing it and. then. here we are you know i mean i i'm a. podcaster. yeah right because of that experience. they're correct. yes so it's like everything she has had. a positive effect everything everything. so without her you'd be worthless i. might be truly who knows i could have. found something else in life but um. i think i might have got it covered.

because she's so you know i mean adamant. right she was very strict about this. pandemic and yeah. and i followed her you know the rules of. the house you sure did. what do you mean no you did i did and i. didn't get it. no that's good yeah i got it i know you. did a little bit cooler than you. no cooler than you irresponsible. it was a little bit cooler than you and. you got your wife. sick at the oh not only to her i got 55. other people sick. when i found out i had it i went out i.

didn't stay at home. i was out out and about starbucks no. mask. coffee thank you please next trader. joe's. you know what i mean everywhere i went. dude i was was spreading it. i was so i loved douchebags i loved it. you're a douchebag. and people were like oh sir you're not. wearing a mask i'm like so what. i came up from huntington beach i was. coughing dude spitting and coughing. i wasn't irresponsible i got the mat i.

got it with a friend outside how do you. know. we got it from christie i know from. chris's friend. his mexican friend is his mexican friend. you misquoted what he was like a. thousand times what's the matter he's. not mexican i know he's a stand-up. yes does he feel bad about it he does. uh-huh he should. it's something about me that like won't. let certain things go. like what like i have this thing where. it's like. and i i want i want to change this about. myself where like.

you know like my falling out with the la. jolla comedy store mm-hmm. you can always bounce back but you know. what happened right i do. yeah you want to talk about it and i'll. never yeah i'll talk about it. i just can't forgive this guy sure you. know maybe. but why can't you forgive people that's. the thing i it's something that i have. within myself. whereas i have a i get a grudge. yes you can hold it in my heart it's. gross forever. get rid of that i know but it can't but.

that's gonna kill you faster than it. kills them it doesn't hurt me. i don't it doesn't it does. subconsciously you don't even know it. but it does. things like that do hurt us it's like um. i'll tell you what happened i. you know that club got gutted and closed. at one point did you know that yeah i do. okay so that that club so no no no no no. no no no the manager won. the manager when i was a kid yeah right. i. and i went into that club right and. mitzi. one day said i'm closing it down. right okay who's losing money no she's.

like i'm moving it. she moved the comedy store to the beach. oh i remember that yeah yeah on the. coast of la you weren't around that no i. heard about it. yeah i know the story so then that. comedy store the one that we know is. yeah was completely gutted it was going. to be like a furniture shop. right right the beach there was no. parking there. so she they started freaking out and the. last second she's like let's go back. right but now the club was gutted right. so me freddy soto guys like johnny.

sanchez when we were kids. we went in there and we put the bamboo. on the wall in the bamboo. yeah right we built the stage we were we. went in there. put carpeting down we we did it all. right. then i worked there right as a doorman. yeah right. that place it was my [ __ ] home i know. every crack of that club. right right it's like you know it's like. um. your hometown house that you grew up in. [Music]. do you can you imagine that burned down.

oh i'm sorry it's all right i did it. really funny but i know what you mean. yes it's like so anyway so now after i. was in. man tv or whatever right maybe after a. little after that. and i had to do a special not special. but a stand-up set. on tv i forgot what it was sure so i. wanted to work out a set. so i called the la jolla comedy store. and i i talked to a doorman and i go. yo what's going on tonight he's like the.

best of san diego. so i go oh i'm going to drive down. because i don't want to work it out here. in hollywood and i just want to work it. out there he said come on down. so i drive two and a half hours or. whatever it is. right to la jolla i go into the club. and this manager who i didn't even know. he was new there. right i go all right when can i go up. and he goes you can't go up here. i'm gonna go why because we're doing.

pretty funny women. right yeah so i go all right well i'll. wait and i'll just go up at the end. compromise what year is this. this must be 2 000. you're on mad. yeah okay right so you say i want to go. up the end of the show that's called. pretty funny women yeah. which just gives women opportunity that. usually they didn't have a lot of spots. exactly but right i meant that i'll go. up at the end but i want to go at the. end. yeah the headline the pretty funny women.

show. special guest got it okay you're making. me mad right now i'm agreeing with you. i literally just said got it i don't i. don't think so i just said got it i'm. just trying to figure out. the the context i need context oh if it. was like an all. hispanic show right you pretty funny. bees. yeah and you. and i popped in popped in at the level. that you're at now. right imagine the talent on the thing. there's no name that these are it's a.

basically open mic night right i walk in. and they're like hey it's hot tamale. night right right now and you go. yeah i'll go up but then you know it's. like okay so just go back you said i. want to go up at the end. yeah the manager said no right so i got. back in my car and it drove away but i. told them. um maybe i do maybe i sound like a baby. what did you say i said if you don't put. me up right now i drove two and a half. hours. right you know i'm never gonna play this. club again can i can i and he goes fine. really yeah did you did you call anybody.

and say i'm coming down. that i just told you i did who who did. you contact i called the door. the the phone guy during the day and the. phone guy was like. come on down right miscommunication so. did you you should've said the manager. didn't the phone guy tell you i'm coming. yeah i probably said that and he was. like no he didn't tell me. yeah and then you're like oh okay well. then fire that guy because that's his. fault. that's fine i'm not gonna all the. doorman and the phone guys are all stand. ups right. yeah so i'm not gonna [ __ ] um let. ruin somebody's dream sure but then.

well then so but it's not the manager. it's not that big of a deal for la jolla. just put me up okay but it's not that. big of a deal it's not that big of a. deal so go back. no no because but it's all i already. said. if you don't put me up yeah i'm never. coming back here and he go that's fine. with me. right so i go at that point i'm like. now i can never come back but what i'm. telling you is it doesn't bother him. it's. bothers you doesn't bother me this is. going back to my original point we. harbor those things. and it doesn't hurt him he doesn't lose. any sleep about it it doesn't he.

he's never even thought about it since. it happened but it does bother you. because it's you know still know it so. well. so what you want me to do is go i'm back. i want you to go hey i want to come back. and then he i see the guy and he'll go. dude it's so great to have you here we. haven't. wish you came over the years i'm sorry. that that [ __ ] thing happened you're. making me so mad right now but it's so. real. but i'm telling you what you you're you. can fix something that. is not even a problem no i will refuse i. refuse you know what it is. because i'm going to give you a. parallelism when rogan told the story.

refuse. i'll tell you why i refuse okay when. he's fired what if he fight he gets. fired or quits. then will you go back oh yeah okay so. it's all him yeah. uh huh oh yeah i'll i'll go. or he could call me and go listen i'm. sorry. but what did he do for not i'm sorry for. not putting you up. on the pretty funny women's show but. that is a funny quote. i'm sorry for not putting you up on the. pretty funny women's show right. if it was like in la right yeah and it's.

like but it's not l.a. just listen what i'm saying right right. if the lineup is like. sarah tiana sarah silverman you know i. mean whitney cummings and they're. and i can always 100 i'd be like you. know what. i can't be on the show but why not. because i'm not a woman. but but why could you be on the other. show because it's like a packed room and. it's like you know because they weren't. famous enough the other women exactly. right and you understand my point of. view right. i don't i mean i know why you feel that. way but i don't think you're right.

right i think you're wrong i love you. but i think you're wrong okay. i think the manager was put in a bad. position and then you. now after all these years you're big. bobby lee you're you're in space right. now of comedy you can do whatever you. want. why don't you just go well then i wanted. to ask. is there any level that you can be yes. to get put up on that stage yes if chris. rock let me just say. if chris rock drove down there right.

could he go up there. he wouldn't do that oh no that's not. true because i've seen. i was a doorman at the la jolla company. what i'm saying is if chris. chris would call and go i'm coming to. come to come down and i'm coming up and. they would make it a thing. right right so my point is if you were. more famous. they would have been like yo chappelle. is coming and the whole show would have. shut down so what you're saying to me. right now is that i just wasn't famous. enough. to make that happen well to make the. thing a thing. yeah you weren't famous enough to try to.

bump someone on the pretty funny women. show. right so there's a level that you can. though and i still don't think you. should but is there it happens all the. time. it happens but but it's like but it only. should happen if like. but like i think all headliners know why. would you need it you don't need to go. no because i remember one time i was uh. the circumstances listen i was a doorman. i was a doorman. right at the comedy store in la jolla. and on tuesday nights. fred burns gave us the room so they go. it's all six of you. we're doormen you guys work your ass off.

to pack this room so we would take these. tickets flyers and go to back then it. was called jack murphy stadium. and we and when there was a padres game. right we would pass out these tickets. free tickets and we sold out this room. oh no it was paid no i mean we it was a. yeah it was a pay-per-view room yeah but. we got the pool tuesday night it was. packed dope right yeah our show i love. those right. we showed up and chris rock was in town. cool this is before bring your pain. though bring the pain bring the pain.

right all right. and they go chris is going to go up. yeah in the middle of it he gotta do an. hour that's awesome. right and there's nothing we could do. that's right he went up that's right did. it. right and then some of us weren't able. to go up yeah. you know what i mean and some of us got. [ __ ] and we worked really hard to do. the show. my point is that's you know i mean but. you're not chris rock. but i was but i i know. i understand that but this is chris just.

let me defend myself but you're not. cause right i understand but. this is chris rock right chris rock. was became huge. huge after bringing the pain huge right. yep. before bringing the pain but before that. we knew. it was chris rock he was [ __ ]. phenomenal right but so it's. so what you're saying is arguably i. could have you so what you're saying. your point is. i could have bumped right yeah pretty. funny woman.

if i was chris rock yeah and i wasn't. big enough. that's right okay and since the since. that the since the circumstances were. because it's also i want to add this. little thing into it it's also my home. club. i know i i i that's why i think you. should squash this and it'd be. no i will not i refuse to how about this. no no i refuse to do it. how about we do a bad friend show though. i'm gonna double would you do it with me. no i'm not refused i'm gonna double down. now right. now i'm gonna do everything i can from. that from this point forth.

i'm gonna i'm acting like a little baby. i love it all right from this point. forward yeah right yeah. i'm gonna do everything i can i will. never give up. to take the club down no not the club to. make the club i will never give up. i'm gonna try to get as big as i [ __ ]. can let's do it and let me say something. right now right. i'm in a very good trajectory right now. you're killing it. are you being sarcastic you're killing. don't make me mad you're killing it. and i'm gonna do everything i can to get. bigger and bigger. did you watch any of the pretty funny. women.

did you stay for any of it seriously you. had me in such a bad mood. continue you did this i didn't do this. you talked about it. you didn't agree with me what i agree. with you on is um. you know the show you know what the show. is eh it was a [ __ ] up situation. yeah it was not fair but i don't think. you should hold it out to your san diego. fans how about that. if you yawn again dude it's been the. whole show oh yeah. it's been the full shot and you don't. want to be here and the worst part is.

the fans like you and that's what's so. annoying. they're so annoying you don't even love. you so much this is doing so much for. your life. right so anyway um pull the mic up to. your face yeah yeah yeah. god it's so it's just a one rule it's. not this. ever it's never been it's right here. always listen guys i want to be here. oh okay all right so here's the deal all. right i just want to do a group apology. okay. all right you you have a tendency. because i love you so much. i love you like we're family we are to. really dig in. right and to get me there yeah you got. me there for the first time.

right but let me tell you something. right it'll never happen again you got. it i. no it's not that i got it don't even do. that right what i'm going to say to you. is. this i right i'm acting like a child. about it. yeah about that situation right and i. am going to grow i love the better i. love it and so what i'm going to say to. everyone in this room is. that listen up everyone everyone in this. room all right you know thank you. for being involved in this project that. we're doing right. um let's take one foot in front of the.

other and step into the future. and the bright future i like it and i. want to say that i really appreciate. everyone's energy and positive energy. here. right and i'm not going to let you right. god bless you yeah your. psychological mental attacks on me i. didn't do anything. i understand that but you know how to. [ __ ] you know my buttons right and i. know yours and i'm not going to press. them because i'm a good person. yeah you did and my point is is this. okay thank you so much. um gabby for being here thank you so. much um. fancy fancy b for being here you're.

yawning it's fine. okay do be you all right right. right you're rage eyes it's not going to. affect me let's move on you want to play. a [ __ ] program let's do another. program in the show. let's go what do we got let's do it. let's play games here man. i feel great okay okay. all right okay so andres introduce what. you've got yeah introduce what we got. so we because we love movies so much in. this show. we selected a few super famous popular.

movies in the u.s. uh for rudy to tell us what the plot is. about based on the poster and the title. this is okay but before we go into that. can i just mention something real quick. though of course. because i i am the co 50 of this. what i didn't say anything i know but. i'm just for for some reason i have to. i mean did right now it basically i'm. scorpion and you're sub-zero. i'm raiden oh no you're not writing i'm. ready you're not reading at all how am i. not raiden. because raiden's a good guy i am raiden. no you're not you're definitely like.

cabal. you're not jackson you're not black yes. i am i can be whatever i want. all right you're sub all right i'll be. sub zero you're chung li. oh that's right you're chung li for sure. yeah yeah and i first of all i would be. scorpion he's the only one that's close. to my color of red. that's true no no i'm uh i'm uh yeah. cause scorpion throws fire dude i'm. i'm scorpion you're chung lee yeah and. you. are um she's uh what's melanie what's. her name. milena yeah melina melena.

anyway what oh it's about movies is what. i want let's go back to the movie thing. that we're gonna do. i had a discussion with client all the. time because we you know we mentioned um. three amigos like and i go i can't. believe you haven't seen that to. to this one and the client goes well she. was born in this. time right but it's like i know who the. beatles are. exactly i hate that argument because. it's like when i was you know a kid. right i saw citizen kane that was in the. 50s. right yeah i saw um i know what um. frankenstein was. in my right i mean i i go for i watch. the classics if it's good.

everyone will know it for the rest right. so it's like you should have seen this. movie already. yeah and you haven't seen this film no i. haven't. okay so based on the movie yeah the. poster. tell us what's up what it's about. can you zoom in zoom in yeah. what's a shawshank well that you're. gonna make it you gotta. have to tell us tell us what it is it's. about. two guys yeah in the military.

correct that's correct that's actually. that's what i actually know how do you. know that. i don't know yeah what else and then. it's world war one yeah. yeah and then. they. yeah what do they do what's shawshank. that's a war that's the war okay. okay okay so two guys in the military.

and they the they are the ones that. defeated the enemy and. shawshank yeah yeah and they freed the. people who were. imprisoned exactly that's actually right. that's exactly right that's actually. right. yeah and and the guy on the right is. morgan free yeah you know that yeah the. guy on the right. his name in the movie is it's a dead. giveaway it's a nickname based after. what they used to call him when he was a. kid they would look at his picture they. would call him. the sean deshawn deshawn.

and the guy on the left his nickname or. well his name in the movie is his. nickname. and he looks like nick nick nick and. deshawn. deshawn during the shawshank war yep. right. they go in they liberate the town yeah. free the guys to the prison right look. in the bottom what happened see what. that right there is the moment that you. need what is that what is that. titanic it's the titanic exactly so. this is crazy you're not going to. believe this but that scene from the.

titanic. was actually in this movie first they. did that scene in this movie. yeah and then the titanic stole it so. it's an homage. to world war one he's actually on a boat. he's on the head of a boat. because you know shawshank right the war. the war is shaking is an island i don't. know if you know this. right so he's on the boat it's close to. where you grew up you know i. i'm the king of the world he says that. i'm the king of this world nick right is. his name. nick said it yeah nick goes i'm the king. of the world right. and right there does that look like rain.

it's not you know what it is. blood it's bullets and blood bullets and. blood bullets and blood. i'm the king of the rock crazy it's a. crazy stuff it's kind of like scarface. when he was like. you know he's getting she's never seen. scarface really. yeah holy [ __ ] okay okay have you seen. this movie this one of course is an. american classic called. the godfather yeah godfather of course. is about. what is it about i've heard about it yes. yeah. yes is it about like.

gangster yeah yeah there we go it is. and that and he is mafia. bi mafia and what what's his uh. name the actor's name. i mean that's next to impossible that's. what he is you do know he's that actor. you've seen him before he's european. um eastern european he looks like. joaquin phoenix his name is joaquin. that's actually good his first name is. joaquin but his last name is in phoenix.

his last name is. joaquin. cher cherlin cherylinger. sherlock and he plays. in the movie the father the father the. god. the godfather very good now now who. now at the bottom it says i'm gonna make. him an offer he can't refuse. who did he make the offer to who did. joaquin sherlinger make an offer to. [Laughter].

the father the other father the other. father because there's more than one. father of course. well you have the godfather right but. you know. other clans of other fathers so there's. another father and he goes you know. i'm going to make you an offer of the. camera for you do you know what the. offer was what's the offer. the offer was from the godfather to the. father what was it. to save the niece. or he dies save the niece or he dies. exactly. he did say i'm getting you better i i.

that in the movie he said i'm gonna make. him. save the niece or he dies and that was. one of the scenes that's very good. very good you're actually two for two ah. another classic. you know what clint eastwood is do you. know who that man is. no but is his son the one in suicide. squad i forgot. he's also handsome jared leto. that's right yes what's your son's name. what's his son's name. that guy that guy that guy that's.

exactly right that isn't that's clinton. it's also clint eastwood yeah his name. is clint eastwood. right eastwood jordan junior playing. these with junior so let's go back to. the goodbye the ugly. what is this movie about cowboys. exactly but what does this mean the good. the bad and the ugly. there's a good cowboy there's a bad and. then there's an ugly cup. this is exactly that right exactly. that's kind of like the show i really. like this show. okay next one uh this is.

this is what a classic what a good one. it was actually shot in another language. you know what other language it was shot. in and then it was translated into. english. you can see by looking at that exactly. exactly. and uh so the guy in the center what's. his name. um well there's there well there's the. names up there so. robert robert de niro so the guy in the. center's name is robert de niro yeah the. guy on the right. joe yep joe i don't i can't see that.

pepsi. joe pepsi. yeah and it's called goodfellas and what. is it about. also yeah what are the relationships. between these three. brothers they're exactly their brothers. triplets. and um what is uh i know you know it's a. mafia movie but what era what what's the. time.

give us a time frame time 19. 85 right just about pretty much just. about okay. pretty much 85.86 and um what city does. it take place in. new york new york new york where else. but new york. and so so one one quick question the guy. on the far left ray lada. him and joe pepsi had a falling out at. some point. during the film because the middle guy. rob bob de niro did what.

what did he do to cause their falling. out those two guys on the other side. the middle guy killed that girl. but that girl is those are old men. no there's no there's no girl on the. phone. and we know you would serve them yeah. happily happily. uh what a film you've never seen this.

either. jesus great movie so jack nicholson. yep do you know who that is laker game. no. you don't know who jack nicholson is. courtside laker game crazy here i've. heard about his name but i'm sure you've. seen him in some social reference right. you can't name any other movie that jack. nicholson was in. um so one flew over the. the cuckoo's nest the cuckoo's nest the. coco's nest. now what do you think this is about he's. looking up there and the sky smiling.

yeah i think it's similar to a dumb and. dumber. yep exactly that's a comedy it's a. comedy. yeah right and he um what happens in. this comedy what's that what's the. setting. in this comedy like where does it take. they're in prison they're in prison. again. again and then he finds. someone who is dumber. pretty good yeah and they try to escape. and they're trying to escape the.

problems they do pranks they do pranks. to pranks to escape fart gags yeah yeah. yeah home alone fart gags. yeah a couple of bbs raining down from. the sky i like it next movie that you're. honestly you're killing it she already. saw it oh you did see sounds. great how about this one wait go back to. silence of the limbs what is it about. it's about she saw it huh we saw it. together yeah yeah. it's about a serial killer yeah. and wait.

wait i forgot no yeah it's a serial. serial killer and then this girl um. investigates the guy. uh-huh is it this movie. what i forgot the smoothie what do you. mean is it this movie. the girl interrogates the serial killer. and then. the guys caves i forgot already.

okay. you're not going to own the next one. yeah yeah i mean if you forgot that. movie. as powerful as that was something tells. me you're not going to be able to just. guess what casablanca is about you go. ahead do you know where casablanca is. casablanca is it a casino yes in what. city what city. las vegas las vegas vegas and if you go. to las vegas now. right there's the beautiful casablanca. hotel. and casino and spa and spa yeah yeah and.

um it's right there on the strip in the. middle of everything right right. mgm i think yeah and uh. who's in it. bogert's in it yep who birdman. burger man ferdinand's burger man's in. it birdman the rapper isn't it. yeah henry. oh and real and real soccer player. yep henry on rails zuckerberg.

so in this in this movie just a quick. little thing he's got a gun there you. see that. is he protecting all those people behind. him or is he out to get some of those. people behind him. i think he's protecting the woman but. not the other guys. very very good very good because the guy. in the top right is a. you can see him over his hat he's a he's. jay with a j jew yep yes. there it is yes correct. that's what the movie's about yep ah.

jeremy's store i've never heard of this. rear window yeah yeah you've never heard. of this okay it's it's a guy. okay wait the direction all right who. who directed it it says it. it says it alfred hitchcock have you. heard of him. no he this is the only movie he did yeah. he only did one movie. and then he died in a car accident yeah. right so alfred hitchcock we don't know. much about him almost nothing really. really no one really knows much about.

him he did one movie he got out of. film school yeah i mean um he. so 15 directors turned this movie down. right and alfred hitchcock this guy you. know skinny guy. brand new brand new young guy right he. directs this movie and that he does in a. car. accident and what do you think happens. in this movie it's pretty easy to tell. because this poster is pretty. is pretty they paint a good picture look. at the poster and what happens in this. film. the guy is stalking the girl yes exactly. and what happens to her.

look at that big thing on the right what. happens to her. where look at the big thing next to him. what is that tall thing a building. yeah so what happens what happens to her. she falls she falls. because look at the blue in that see. that up there in the blue yeah. right look at her blue dress. yeah he was a peeping tom he was spying. on. her her last line is i should have stood. so close to the rear window. and then dead but maybe he pushed her ah. plot twist don't give it away don't give.

it away oh boy oh this is a good one. we've talked about it on this show an. awful lot a lot of times this movie. okay you've seen this have you seen this. no what's it called. apocalypse now yes what happens what's. the setting. they're in africa exactly what part of. africa how'd you know from the poster. yeah it kind of looks like it that's. actually good if you name the country. we can move on what country does this. take place in africa. nigeria that's the one exactly that's.

the one and good thing you did. here we go look who's back. who's that actor look who's back look. who's cuckoo. who's the guy who's the guy here's rudy. i don't know no we tom before i know. i said have you heard of him before. alfred hitchcock it's alfred hitchcock. it's albert hitchcock there he is there. he is. it's alfred hitchcock and that's the.

shinnon yeah. that's yeah and now what's this movie. about. the shining the shin yeah shining. it's not the shine no it's shining. shining shining. no there's two ends in shining. you can tell right away it's so easy. look what's exposed on his mouth. you see his teeth right what's it about. [ __ ].

if you go get a shining you're going to. get your what's a shinning. do you try to make it up then what do. you think it is. look it's it this is one of those movie. posters. where it's so obvious what it is yeah. you just say it very simple. he either watches girls. yeah in the bathroom yes yes. or yeah he eats metal the answer is b.

yeah yeah he eats the metal it's the. metal what's shinning. yeah yeah you have to get to watch the. movie watch the movie yeah yeah. rudy that was incredible that's. incredible give him a round of applause. that was amazing yeah. did you ever see gran torino i loved it. now could that come out. right now is that that would be a stop. asian hate movie that would get i think. that. oh yeah that would definitely but you. know what get off my lawn you. asians did you say racial epidemic i.

brought my parents to that movie. you did yeah and my dad got halfway to. the movie goes. i don't feel comfortable yeah i'm being. weird no i mean i didn't like it. gran torino's looking good loved it. though uh denounces anti-asian slurs. well they use it in the movie. yeah so when we talk about this stuff. think about like this. tarantino says the n word in pulp. fiction. what do you do with this you're okay. with it do they need to cut that out now. because of what's going on. i i think that um but who says the. n-word and.

oh yeah they do he does he does say it. yeah pretty good. on the nose yeah he does say he said is. there a sign on this outside of my. outside of my driveway that says dead. n-word parking parking yeah yeah storage. dead-end. storage yes that's right yeah that's. right have you seen you've seen this. movie right. you did yeah but i forgot about already. it was a long time ago bring up the. picture of the four cast members there. please. who are they who are these people. the actors names john travolta.

very good and then the girl i know she's. in kill bill. yes another tarantino movie he got to. the right. is i think he was in a racing movie i. don't know. yes that racing famous racing movie. which movie. fast furious there we go. [Laughter]. [Music].

right there i honestly really does look. like yeah. did you fart no does that what. rudy i didn't fart so defensive. yeah cause it smells in here did you. fart for real i didn't. your eyes i didn't fight because i think. you did did you fart. be honest i promise because last night. we had a deep dip. deep dish pizza and i can't eat it. anymore why. because you know the one with the. mozzarella cheese and then the ricotta.

is so good it's so good i know but i'm. lactose intolerant. take a pill maybe take a lactaid but she. was taking a shower and i go i'll just. go to the bathroom downstairs she goes. nope i like it when you [ __ ]. when i'm taking a shower what yeah and i. go you do she. i do absolutely there and [ __ ] well. she's in the shower. she loves it no no no no no yeah yeah. yeah you guys are perfect for each other. yeah so i'm [ __ ] and i'm. eating and she's like oh that that was a. groovy one. yeah just she likes that in the same.

room yeah it's crazy do you take showers. together. we used to we have have you i today. oh yeah we have we do it all the time. but do you pee when you get in the. shower. oh yeah do you pee in the shower see me. too andres you pee in the shower. no we talk about it no we already talked. about this show yep. oh i didn't know what do you do gab do. you pee in the shower. yeah of course everybody everyone normal. pees in the shower. and i pee on her sometimes um thank you. for being a bad friend.

i wipe my ass from that back to front. you wipe like that don't you ever get it. on your balls. i think i said his dick's that's why his. dick smells like poop why don't you just. get baby wipes. no i i always for some reason i'm. getting fat now i don't i've never. i didn't always do that but you this. just started i know where you. because i'm getting fat so it's like i. can't get my little why don't you. lean up get up i can't you can't get up.

i can't get my. hand to my [ __ ] we should get a rail. for you to hold on. i can do this for some reason right. closer. my taint's very small small small tank. smaller so it's like yeah i can get. my hand to my [ __ ] that way right. [Music].

yes.