I Love Titanic and I Love to Bowl | Ep 4 | Bad Friends with Andrew Santino and Bobby Lee

we're taking iphone pictures while your. dad was dead so we're dangerous well III.

was thinking I was meditating you know I. meditate every night you meditate every. single night I know yeah so in my. meditations last night I thought to. myself. Bobby Lee has no social cause I want to. be a social warrior you know because on. the internet and on the gram. I want to influence what do you mean.

what you what social cause what social. cause do you want oh you know Joaquin. has that like you know did the cows you. know I mean the Milky kids you know the. whatever you don't mean like he wants to. save a mother exactly he's saying we. shouldn't drink milk anymore yeah. whatever right so he'd and he's Adam. about it he's Adam about it he's adamant. adamant about it. he's agging Hindman about it yeah what's. the word he's adamant adamant about it. is adamant about it but he's thinking.

about it cuz he actually cares he he did. I wouldn't care about something I don't. know why I don't care about [ __ ] but if. you cared it would already happen you'd. already care I know but I would have. forced myself to care because I feel. like I wouldn't check a mark okay what's. a social issue that you think you want. to have as your new social issue to care. about let's do it today it makes me sad. that like but not really no you're not. sad at all yeah but like you know the. dolphins and the end and the turtles. with the straws and what's going on with. the dolphins they're I don't know how. they're getting straws in their mouth. dolphins are getting straws in their. nose okay there's no there's no cocaine.

dolphin no but what do you want whoo. what do you think what do you think you. want to say what's important to you um. what do you think what do you think. matters the most. for me personally yes it the things that. I think that matter like people don't. this is not a thing you know it's not a. it's a thing that like people are gonna. be like what would a stand behind what. is it um I don't even know that's the. thing I have I I literally have no.

there's no thing care about anything. homeless people. health care I guess kids kids what aids. kids age kids oh I care about no oh you. know what I care about is the kids that. are like starving in Yemen. can you help them no you don't want to. help them I want to but it says oh it's. a war stricken area and I can't get in. there okay let's skip over then the war. kids from yelling Southwest they don't. fly there you know no they don't they're. not gonna go to Yemen no but so I'm.

trying to cause I'm trying to have. social justices all right why don't you. ask the fans - I have one though what. but it's my own personal to social. justice about my own point what is it. well what it is is this is that um so my. brother and I we're having a Korean. barbecue the other night not surprised. did you go did you go to parks finest. parks finest is a yeah we did with the. parks fire well there's the parks that I. went not parks downtown out the parks. downtown the one in Echo Park that you. and I went to but that's a Filipino.

barbecue place Filipino / Korean there's. Koreans - food there - right no no these. it's racist why because it's like saying. like you know I went to Italian. restaurant you go to Taco Bell. no that's Mexican food yeah it's they're. two different things Filipino food and. [ __ ] Korean no what I said was. basically going hey I had I had Mexican. last night and then you said did you. have Taco Bell and I said that's racist. I went to El Pollo Loco. that's what that's saying that's not. what that's not what it is because the. for Asian food is Asian food that's that.

true yes it is they all had to google it. but Asian food all has the same. ingredients right I had Thai last night. they have noodles and rice and meats and. curries yeah I went to an Italian. restaurant they had noodles mm-hmm and. rice there no we don't have Renta they. don't have rice lenta polenta is not. Italian first of all I know he knows. polenta. don't you yeah yeah yeah you know he's.

Mexican her we got it we have another. mine or two for the fans at home two. minorities in the room so in case. anybody's checking the social justice. meter yeah two four two four four no. because I honestly think that it would. help if I if I was like a comedian that. had something to like that's not that. you are name a famous comedian that has. a that a thing that you approve that. you're like damn I wish I was like them. that they have a movement they like that. Australian lady the lesbian lady with. the glasses hey Hanna Gadsby yeah what's. her thing she's lesbian and she would. quit and she's lesbian that's her thing.

so you think she was meditating one day. and she was like I'm gonna I don't know. what you're doing it I don't know what. you're trying to do right now I just I'm. sure I'm trying to help you find. yourself a every time you call me yeah I. have a good day every time you call me. about anything right it ruins my day. yeah puts me to bed my neck starts. hurting and I suppose getting spasms and. my [ __ ] front though I won't call you. anymore but just beat nice about it okay. how would you like the phone call the. girl can't [ __ ] believe what you did.

you [ __ ] did that and I'm like what. say whatever cuz you [ __ ] up stuff all. the time but there's a nice way to. [ __ ] do it anyway um what I want to. say I have a social thing what's your. what is it what's your social thing well. my brother and I we're having parks on. Vermont got it not the Filipino place. that I took you to from okay you're. [ __ ] it racist no I'm not it was good. food either way it was very good I go. that's why I go there but I know I um.

cuz of kalila I Bose I did they're. really [ __ ] you on that on what I'm. gonna get into it I know I'm sorry go. ahead. yeah God dude they're really [ __ ] you. on that I go what and he goes ah hey. high school did hall-of-fame you're not. on it you're not on it right so I went. to high school at paui high school yeah. poet waited in 1999 tea yeah 1990 a.m. I.

wasn't even born yet I know I was born. you know what i won i Nate Bryan Callen. was 49 years old. so follow a high school yeah let's see. who's that Joe Biden was Bryan Callen. for like I'm not kidding you every time. I see Joe Biden I go coughs killing it. highway high-school let's see the. notable alumni so yeah that's what I'm. saying so what then I went no not not no. go don't go there cuz I'm on that I'm on. the Wikipedia comedian on MADtv yeah.

there you go I'm on that but go to Maui. high schools Hall of Fame they're their. Hall of Fame but I want to look up some. of the people that are on here before we. go to the one because the other one is. hold on let's see some of these names. Aubrey Aubrey battle former American. football defensive lineman okay killing. it Jud Buechler look at Judd yeah those. pantless hits dude nice pits went to. show none Kelly Cash American musician. beauty pageant titleholder yeah but. there's other cause Oh Tom DeLonge. blink-182 exactly so he's the most.

famous from your school for sure white. without a doubt you're not even close to. Tom DeLonge Tony Gwynn oh dude he's more. famous than you too Wow oh dude Alice. Dickerson Wow look at all these guys. that are more famous. that's not whoa Hector Maldanado dude. this there's some legit people that once. your school exactly right Wow yeah. Stephanie Seymour model remember she had. a baby with Axl Rose she did they have a. kid Yeah right. okay so whoa so to even Brian Rass the.

professional poker player. everybody knows rasty you don't know. whatever you're doing is not gonna work. you don't know him they call nasty rest. no no that's a real thing nasty rest. he's like one of the top poker players. in the world of them he's incredible. bets fine now go to the [ __ ] power. high school alumni site they go fast -. bye nasty rat CD takes the pot home. begets Emma go to the [ __ ] site go to. what Poway high power high no he says. Paul my alumni. go power high hall of fame Google that. Poway High Hall of Fame a Hall of Fame.

yeah Paul Paul way Poway high school. Hall of Fame Poway High Alumni. Association there we go that's it oh. three new names got entered by the way. right look at this hold on one second. let me see this it says three new names. just got entered into the Poway High. Hall of Fame oh my the red carpet. they're two of the thing right they pay. for red carpet so. the Hall of Fame inductee Sean Tom. Murray class of 79 nice yeah. Oh an Air Force guy I get that okay and.

then another guy and you're not in the. Hall of famous I said go to the [ __ ]. thing man how many times I have to tell. you right there the first one I don't. need the I don't go down first now I. don't need all that okay here we go now. these are the names yeah okay Wow okay. so um. now you know let's make an argument sure. do you think that they're more famous. than me um well your class doesn't even. in here 1990 I know no one because no. one in my class got into it.

well what they're saying is is that yeah. you're not famous enough to be in it and. I will say that that's true cuz to look. at Tina Ghul she just got in from a. class of oh four yeah everybody knows T. hey you don't know tdawg Tina goes. internationally renowned cellist being. honored for accomplishments in the arts. Grammy nominee partner with Bentley. Motors in the ritz-carlton classical. electrical cellist dude she's heard on. hundreds of soundtracks all right go. back hundred go back click on some man.

on actually go back I'd like to see how. famous is Tina goooo. by the way Tina goooo was how famous. they do you really think how many plays. do you think she has on Spotify on her. most famous song this will kind of. dictate whether or not she's actually. that famous okay but I Wow Tina your. hold on you're supposed to be on my side. doing and money like you're like on that. [ __ ] board there's no way I'm on that. board this week we have a meeting Tina. cool there you go look whoa yeah every. month she has two hundred twenty three. thousand listeners her most famous song.

she did the Wonder Woman theme okay she. deserves to be on it. that's [ __ ] mine but look at the. other names I don't know I think some of. these people might be know because. they're choosing people based on a. Christian ethic right right Oh cuz you. knocked you're not Christian any no. because I'm a filth hmm I'm a filth. monger with no Poway hi a Christian high. school no said the boy so why are you. putting everywhere not what I'm asking.

bad friends fans to do yeah it's good to. the public high school okay let's do it. let's look all of. Fame site right here everyone we're. gonna put this in and then I want you to. submit my name so here you go guys we. want you to go to Poway high school's. website really easy to find it's Poway. USD and once you watch our website just. go to the Poway Hall of Fame thing okay. go go there go go to one that you were. just at can we get into the computer. guide this guy Poway high hall of fame. organization so all you need to do to.

get Bobby into the Hall of Fame is go. ahead and go down to scroll down on tact. the school knows it's right down there. it's right let's see it says have a. question no they go down a little bit. see down there nominate accomodate a. candidate so guys everyone go here and. go nominate a candidate online we're. gonna do it right now live on the show. yeah yeah yeah sorry this forum is no. longer accepting submissions look at. that they're full the Hall of Fame is. full damn that sucks. do you know why because your have been. doing it in 19 other podcast why do you. even care about Poway high so much. anyway. I didn't care it to my brothers that I.

should care you shouldn't care all right. well then I'm gonna let it go because. there's nothing about pop oh my god one. of the most prestigious high schools in. the world anybody who's anybody is a. Hall of Famer here well like it says. what it is dude I'll tell you what it is. what you know you're not an ally yes I. am no you're not yes I am you're like. I'm I'm Japan I'm I'm borough here rito. and you're mussolini but you're not. first of all you're not Japan. you're not Japan I'm Tim ask George I'm. 10% Japanese I think that [ __ ] 20 for.

me at 23 you do you might have an extra. gene but it is 23 he's at 43 yeah you. might have one I did 23 of me okay and. you're Jupiter jet you Japan I temper. I'm tempers and Japanese you're tempura. Japanese you're tempura Japanese yeah. you're tempura % yeah um I want to say. this what you deserve to be in the Hall. of Fame and you know I mean that I. genuinely do I also want to say I. apologize to David Attenborough because. on last week's episode we said that he. was dead and he's alive so I apologize. to David Attenborough and all of his. friends and family because we I thought.

he was dead I'm sorry about that. did you really people complain David. Attenborough's estate reached out to us. and threatened to sue us if we didn't. take it down I swear to god you swore to. God they sent us a cease and desist and. said David is alive if you keep putting. out this stuff we will see you in court. oh look he's definitely alive alive yeah. we. you he just looks dead here's what I'd. like to do we got a dead we got a dead. dad excuse we got a Facebook user Justin. Morris who Santino has to guess how many.

times Bobby used his dead dad's and as. an excuse just this week and we have to. guess the reasons how many times we've. used your dead dad as an excuse to get. out of things I would I would say you've. gotten out a to podcast by using your. dead dad as an excuse the past this past. week I use my dead dad for a lot of. things yeah did you get out of podcast. this week by saying that stuff I get out. of a lot of things okay suggestion one. for one I would also think you got out. of having sex with Collider doing. something sexual with kalila button you. quote a dead dad stuff yeah okay perfect.

two for two there's got to be one more. somewhere in there I think you got out. of a I think you got out of doing a set. or doing a dinner with somebody either. stand-up or dinner because of dead dad. you said use dead as dead dad as an. excuse did you. kalila just text you text me what if. she's high school website just broke. from all the submissions that's. fantastic that's all I wanted that's all. I wanted Buffy Buffy makes super soft. earth friendly betting because comfy. night's sleep is even comfier when it.

doesn't harm the environment. now here's my personal endorsement on it. when you gave you that Buffy bed. sheeting. I um I took it home and Mike now kalila. and I only use that blanket it is one of. my favorites of all time here's this. here's why though you don't sweat I used. to sweat all the time and I don't sweat. cuz I sleep naked because I know you and. kalila sleep in full our armor you guys. sleep in full armor head to toe and you. don't you won't sweat whether you have. clothes on or whether you don't have. clothes everything is made from ultra. smooth eucalyptus fiber that feels. softer than cotton it really does it's.

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enter the code that friend that's right. why would I say the power high school my. dad died yes dad is dad guys why don't. you put him in the thing you know it's. funny but I'm in the things your dad. alive I have two dads I have two dads. yeah I have two dads um would you. consider Buffy's or dad who buff eyes. who's buff eyes Logan you think he's my.

dad yeah is he my dad you get like a. little like you know I mean you look at. him like your dad guy why don't why. don't you like Rogen I love them hmm. interesting. what what's so funny what you're doing. right now because obviously I love what. you called him my dad my daddy like he. oye impressive like you don't like him. you love him I love Rogan but I I'm. intimidated by him every time he comes. to the store do you get nervous well. okay it was three weeks ago his wife was.

there I love her yeah she's cool she. noticed the shoes I was wearing which I. really liked. and then um Rogan pulled me aside and he. goes okay so scared around me it's a. legitimate question and I go I'm not. scared I go because he what you you. white people don't [ __ ] understand is. that in Korea don't ever look like that. again man you kind of did like who you. talking you're not Joe George Oh George. Amit he did it like a little squinty. like confused kind of like George said.

that you know what it is he's got that. hit he's behind that Hitler used that. Hitler Youth in him he is not having it. he's getting a little cocky not cocky. there's something he's going like. megalomaniac ego crazy. you know he got engaged. did you congratulate him anyone any. white dude can go to China and get it or. whatever and get away okay did you see. her the ching chong be she's not Chinese. is she what do you know she's not she's. not shining what is she what is she dude.

okay oh really really my mom won after. your heart my dad died I need to swim oh. he's poking him up I want to do I want. to do something real fast because. everybody loved it when we did a little. scene reading and I'd like to do a scene. reading right now but I don't know what. movie it is it doesn't you'll figure it. out almost right away I want you to put. on this if you could and I'll put on one. of these things so we're gonna be doing. a little classic scene reading and put.

on you have to put on that you put on. one of those around your neck as well. I'm gonna be doing a little little. classic scene reading here for Bob this. is one of his favorite movies he said. this so we have to abide by what Bob. likes and wants I forgot I have to take. my headphones off but we're trying to. get dressed here you let Andre let. Andres do the directions that would be.

great all right give me those scripts. are right there what do you mean what. are the beads for yeah you got to put. them on okay okay put them on and put. you are you gonna put back on your. headphones or no yeah you don't have to. if you don't want to give me a script. and give him a script this is something. that the fans really wanted and also. it's something that you love with um. what is it alright so you're gonna be. the role of rose and under this is gonna. read some of the scene direction okay go. ahead on today's what what what movie is. this you'll figure it out almost right. away is it the notebook it would be. almost impossible for you I figured like.

their notebook nope but you'll just. figure it out almost right away. you're close okay so guys ready interior. Rose suite 1912 like in a dream the. beautiful war work cut just project a. little bit more need to project a little. bit more. good you know you're acting as if you're.

the director you know he went to they. went to film school I know they did. sorry there's got to be more right slow. it down a bit okay start from the top go. ahead okay here we go. interior hold on one second my phone's. ringing hold on. it's Rogan I'm not gonna answer it yeah. yeah. no he won't want to be on the show okay. okay hold on why let's start from. scratch here we go let start from. scratch go ahead okay. interior rows sweet like in a dream the.

beautiful war work and satin upholstery. emerge from the rusted ruined. deck is overwhelm by the opulence of the. room he set his sketchbook and drawing. materials in the marble table with this. light you don't always need good light. that is true I am not used to working in. such variable conditions a Monet crisis.

he crutches next to the painting stacks. against the wall isn't he great the use. of color I saw him once through a hole. in the scarred in fence in given Airy. she goes into the adjacent walk-in. wardrobe closet he sees her girl he sees. a go to the safe and it starts working. the combination he's fascinated insists.

unlocking this thing everywhere should I. be expecting him any times sure not as. long as the cigars and brandy hole out. clunk she unlocks the same glancing nap. she met his eyes in the mirror behind. the safe she opens it and removes the. necklace then hauls it out to Jack who. takes it nervously you hold it to me. give me. [Laughter].

what is it us what is it is it a. sapphire what is it what is it is it. what is it is it a sapphire a diamond a. very rare diamond called the heart of. the ocean sad gaze has had well beyond. his compensation he looks on her.

surprise and then we cut to endear. Bedford daggit laid on his fences like. surgical tools his sketchbook is open. and ready he looks at us she comes into. the room wearing a silk kimono the last.

thing I need is another picture of me. looking like a china doll as a paying. customer I expect to get what I want she. hands him a dime and steps back part in. the kimono the blue stone lies on her. creamy breasts her heart is pounding as. she slowly lowers the Rope Jack looks so. striking it is almost comical the kimono. drops to the floor tell me when it looks.

right to you she poses on the divan said. in like a cat into the position we. remember from the drawing almost uh. just bend your left leg a little and. lower your left your head eyes to me. that's it text - the sketch he drops his. pencil and she stiffly sir laughs I. believe you're blushing mr. big artiste. I can't imagine. Mangiamo knee blushing he does.

landscapes. tied on Jack exercise can apt to look. out of here over the top edge of the. sketch back we want him to finish we. have seen this image half hidden before. in her memory it is an image she will. carry in the rest of her life push it. slowly in unfroze this face Wow. you still don't know what movie it is. how can you not know what movie is it.

Jack Rose a draw me like one of your. french girls when I will never see what. movie is it. Titanic I've never seen it you've never. seen the movie Titanic. no how have you never seen the movie. tight I don't like a boat movies it's. not a boat movie I mean it's a boat. movie but you know what I mean it's the. [ __ ] it's a great film it's a. beautiful Fred don't know what it I I. know that can't be Leonardo DiCaprio's. in it I know that James Cameron directed. it how have you never seen Titanic just.

because it's the same reason why I. haven't seen Beauty and the Beast. I refuse the Disney movie Beauty and the. Beast whatever the new one or the old. one either one. why what are those those things have. nothing to do with one other yeah they. look like classics that people like I. don't have as an animated Disney movie I. like main street's Scorsese's [ __ ]. first second movie okay I like you know. Apocalypse Now gritty [ __ ] okay both I. don't like over 30 you know I mean some. dude on a boat doing this the whole time.

you don't like that no how can you not. like that it's is that my [ __ ] big. beautiful okay it's a beautiful love my. [ __ ] day it's a beautiful love story. you don't [ __ ] believe that. I love the Tilted yeah you like it I. love the Titanic yes I do. Oh what do you like about it I like I. like I like when the boat sinks that's. my favorite part. yeah when everybody dies is the coolest. thing in the world you see guys. ping-pong off the bang bang bang bang. bang all the way down yeah yeah like. that yeah you don't like to watch death. scenes yeah maybe the ending part I'd.

probably watch that part it's a it's a. finale you know why I didn't like it I. didn't want to watch it because I. remember wimp chicks going uh we love. that and then it's like you remembered. women liking it and so that no but they. wanted it because people liked women. liked fried green tomatoes. - you didn't like that movie either so. I'm like so I saw fried green tomatoes. and I'm like that's not for me I don't. like vegetables and I don't like women. walking around and talking about things. like that is that what you think the. movies about yeah. just vegetables and women oh and here's.

another thing that I'll and now I will. never watch it because I got shushed by. somebody on that [ __ ] [ __ ] movie what. so I did Pauly Shores movie last summer. what was it called I don't remember you. don't remember the movie you did last. summer he goes did my movie did and I. showed up and I couldn't did it so you. don't remember at all no okay go ahead I. mean I remember doing it because I have. a story about it all right L I'm saying. yeah go ahead so I show up and you know.

some girls like you want to go to the. sad like I like fine so we're just. talking and then but we're just talking. look eating and talking listen this lady. that's bringing me to the set but she. walked me into the set while they were. shooting what do you mean like watch you. on in middle take they were doing a take. but I didn't know that I was just. following this girl so you got in. trouble no and then Billy Zane he's in. it right. Titanic Billy Zane is in it yeah you.

know what he said Billy Zane's in the. Polly movie what's a movie I want to. know what movie the so that Billy Zane. goes like this he turns to me goes in he. goes at this to me hmm and then I didn't. you know I got rage eyes yeah like [ __ ]. don't [ __ ] shoot me don't [ __ ]. shush me [ __ ] then I just talk to. myself I was gonna it was on my. checklist to watch Titanic but now no. more the guest houses I would've thought. yeah I'm in that what's your name I. don't remember dude guest house is a.

newly engaged couple finds the home of. their dreams and it clearly becomes a. nightmare when the previous owners. friend continues squatting in the guest. house it leads to a turf war Bobbie Lee. was in this Billy Zane Charlotte. McKinney Aimee Teegarden Pauly Shore. Bobbie Lee you played Benny you got. played Benny your character was Benny. can you name any lines from them no I. don't remember even doing it I don't. remember the scenes I remember I got. naked at one point no [ __ ] Nolan I'll. tell you how much [ __ ] can I tell you. what yeah all right you can tell me. there was a scene where Paul.

all these in this bungalow and he's just. kind of like his character is just kind. of just walking around is he the guy. that's squatting he watch the squad and. I'm and whose house was a billy Zane's. house obviously no but what happened was. um there was a scene work he just got. just sit on this hammock and read a book. and you just gonna be in the background. I didn't be funny okay and I just say. it'd be funnier if I was just completely. naked for no [ __ ] reason I totally. agree that's the go-to so I just did. that. she got butt-naked in the back of the.

scene yeah no explanation there's no. lead into it no one talks about it he. just walks into his place and he's just. like talking somebody I'm just in the. background swinging on this little. hammock complete with your little dick. out no I got cross my legs tuck it I can. tuck my dick when you cross your legs. I could tuck it right now do it Oh God. that chair oh look at that mangina hold.

on let me get that get a little photo up. there we go perfect this is why you have. like a Fupa you know what that looks. like stand up first like that looks like. you're with me and that looks like you. have a [ __ ] stand up stand up for a. second isn't that look like he has a. [ __ ] cuz it's like thick right there. that little bump that's so good do we. have a marker can we sharpie like a clip. yeah I want a Sharpie draw like a little. clip oh my god wait a minute let me get. close cuz it here come here it kind of. looks like you have like if I jet hold. on one second if I just I'm gonna send.

that be like look at this babe send me. your [ __ ] bro Galia well look at that. look at that looks like a [ __ ]. yeah it's look the stomach looks bad. though no but I'll just go just as heavy. girls spray is sending everybody DMS of. her naked you know what I mean can we. draw a little [ __ ] on you let's draw a. little tiny [ __ ] all right here we go. let's draw a little clear here.

you and then you're kind of lippy look. at that you have big puss lips you look. good. that looks really good hold on one. second you gonna suck in your stomach. 1 2 3 you have a cute little puss-puss. looks like Oprah's [ __ ] you have a half. any half Audi all right no no I just. noticed that it's either an Emmy now D. or it could be a butthole with a.

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zoom in on that man that's your belly. button it's not that big of a deal we. were stuffed [ __ ] it your belly but you. showed me your you show me your [ __ ]. your foot I just forgot why I just did. that why I don't know why what what. prompted me to just do that again I hey. with you it's anything I think you said. that you could I think you said that you. could tuck your dick ah that's what it. was and there's a pube now on your Mike. look at your Mike has a pube on it on. the other side oh he's gonna say it was. red I thought that was mine I did watch. Titanic I think it's I think it's a. phenomenal movie I mean look at let's.

let's like I say something to you yeah. I've seen it I know what did you think. about it though I liked to have seen it. like 10 times. what do you think the rating is for. Titanic only the rating seven out of ten. can you believe that seven point eight. out of ten damn 900,000 people rate it. it's a [ __ ] phenomenal movie it's not. a masterpiece it's not like absolutely. as a masterpiece it's okay you know what. a masterpiece is is like the hidden. fortress you know it's a Kurosawa film.

I'll tell you why that's more important. than Titanic even though Titanic made. more money is that the hidden fortress. influenced Star Wars you know like in. the hidden fortress in the beginning of. the movie they have an r2d2 c-3po but. they're samurais but the same kind of. like okay you know I mean and it end the. way it shot like the panning and when. you see the scenes Lucas took that from. you know the Kurosawa film ah the hidden. fortress my point is is that it's.

Titanic isn't an influential movie in. terms of wow what look at all of these. [ __ ] awards Wow a Best Original Music. Screenplay Best Picture Best Director. Best holy [ __ ] when does it end I don't. does it end of it an Opie white dudes. like you look at me right now look at me. right now cuz you're like you know how. I know you're a dopey jock dude you know. how to bowl I love bowling.

I know but when we bowled and I saw your. technique yeah you actually cared and. you actually practiced your form the way. you whip to spin the ball yeah and you. did a thing and you turned around either. I got a yeah I mean and I was just kind. of you're a [ __ ] [ __ ] yeah for. even doing that yeah because that means. you spent time as a kid I remember a pig. imagine you as a kid with a coconut or. something mm-hmm little coconut in the. backyard your little Chicago. Irish [ __ ] yeah well there's always.

coconuts laying around Chicago yeah go. ahead and coconut tree yeah whatever you. you use okay okay yeah and you're gonna. set a potato I used a potato do I need. to write your jokes for you. okay so what I'm bored on the phone I'm. gonna go there yeah because you know. what you're mocking me and my boat might. like for bowling no I can't [ __ ] you. I'm just telling you what kind of guy. you are and I'm good because you're. you're so adamant about defending. [ __ ] Titanic as it's a great movie. and you love the bowl and I love to bowl.

guess what's who you are I love Titanic. and I love to bowl hi I'm Andrew Santino. welcome you're Bobby Lee you like. Kurosawa and making your dick look like. a clip that's who you are this is why. it's working okay are we fine don't make. fun of Titanic or bowling anymore you. could be a tear about Syria said that. got serious for a bother I'm gonna be a. good pop I'm in a good pop up and that's.

it my nickname is gonna I don't like. daddy I don't like when girls say when. they call their father daddy I think. it's gross I'm gonna be called pop up or. paps did you see the documentary up sea. trials of Gabriel Fernandez yet I don't. think I can watch it why because they. did they beat the [ __ ] out of that kid. they torture him they feed him cat food. which is normal for you guys but they do. all that stuff they didn't feed them cat. food they fed him cat litter with pee on. it so it's the woman and it's her son. and it's her boyfriend and they just. torture him why for shits and giggles I.

know what the real reason why is it. because that they suspect the kid to be. gay oh is that really what I. she knows definitely I wanna watch this. is so gross and sad yeah the boyfriend. admits that he did it doesn't care. no you can't he's on trial and he just. his defenses I did it but I didn't. intend to kill him. what is that how is that that's insane. that's like saying I know and to death. but I didn't do it for me is is that.

every time you brutalize a boy you know. that death could be a concept riled by. the way not a boy that's eight-year-old. boy yeah that's a little little tiny boy. right so the dudes on trial right and. the jury all of the jury is like yeah. guilty guilty yeah except for juror. number seven. a Chinese man no and he this fools is. like I don't know you know from where I. come from. I swear to God you know I don't know if. it was like antequera because the thing.

is I don't know his heart no way it. heart could be you know dark and evil. but a nun literally called you check I'm. literally [ __ ] you mean yeah oh my. god but they finally flipped them they. both got the death penalty right well. yeah I'm pretty sure one of the jurors. got he Ching Chung look at me right I. don't think they said that yeah don't. focus right we gotta get a bigger Gong.

yeah we have to get rid of the Gong I. didn't have to get rid of the guy didn't. put this in here and I didn't put this. issue with the gong there somebody bug. somebody did Oh somebody all know he's. pointing down there he got it from down. there no he got you a gift over there. oh you did what is it serial how do you. not know what it is how do you not. understand this joke that he George. George put this stuff in here as a bit. he thinks this is there I am there I am. on the box.

Oh George good one see very good Bobby. yeah put it right there it's fine there. I am this looks like we're sponsored by. them what do you guys like clothes so. much clothes cigarettes you know like. the clovers. we don't like what do you mean we don't. like them yeah you do. nobody dunno what you're left Green why. do you guys like green because it's good. Ireland is green it's a very green. country there's a lot of places of green. you know what else is green [ __ ] West.

Covina no it's not the same [ __ ] do. I'm gonna sign that let me sign the but. you decide it's not you that is you me. he is more famous than you you want to. go into Fame okay. artificial person that's not even real. that was drawn you it has more famous. than you Sheamus charms he I know who. he's a very famous guy yeah you know. where he went to highschool Poway high. he's in the Hall of Fame good call back. in fact I'm gonna [ __ ] have everybody. vote for Sheamus charms you guys when.

the website goes back up by PI way high. why don't you go ahead and vote for. Sheamus trends Sheamus charms that's. what I want I want the Sheamus lucky. charms guy to be voted on yeah. Jorge got all this fun stuff for you. Jorge got that he got this this is. racist he got you the ouya hands watch. the documentary I just don't think I can. oh yeah cuz I can't watch kids get. abused do that [ __ ] Sinestro's oh but. you know what it is no but if the. conversations about the abuse that. [ __ ] me up. it's like those documentaries like don't. [ __ ] with cats right that was another. Netflix one two three huh I hate it out. you see it that Jorge right you what you.

learn it's repulsive it's repulsive but. I feel like um it's better to be. knowledgeable about these incidences no. I don't disagree you live in a dream. like steak well it's not a dream I just. don't want to know I wanted to live in a. white dreamlike state I don't want to. know the extent in which they abused. this human cuz I think that's [ __ ]. disgusting they like how much deep how. much depth do I need to know other than. what you told me that they abuse this. kid so horrifically because the system's.

broken rights social workers and the you. know they didn't even do anything about. it that's what I'm saying is is the one. you want like I wasn't even aware of. this and now I'm aware of it and I know. that and now if there's a campaign and. there's a measure on a ballot right to. like I want to know what happened to us. but you can't you can't tell me. girlfriend is the mother who's just as. guilty and but she copped. you know me and a plea a deal yeah so. she's but um some other lady on Twitter.

some girl was like. um my mom's in prison with Perelman. Fernandez at this woman's prison whoa. and she was saying that yeah. Perle friend has just gets beat down. every [ __ ] day Oh correct gray can't. go on the yard great yeah yeah yeah. great because you know what if all those. women that are in prison I bet you most. of them are in for some [ __ ] not for. child abuse yeah child abuse as though. it's the you know the thing about prison. is if you if you touch her you arrested. huh. was I molested not no I was never listen.

no I was never molest you act like you. were you have an anger you you act like. you were molested was molested I know so. we don't act alike at all what do you. mean you're the one who whips out your. dick all the time and tucks it in your. butt and does weird stuff molestation. signs me you know but you have some sort. of like you know anger issues III know I. have anger not what this is uh about a.

fight I don't want a fight we're not. fighting not fighting just discussing. you seem like you were molested is all. I'm saying. break it down for me how do you think I. got molested well because you're you. have this anger but you don't have any. anger and you were molested you're so. you're the happy case of molestation is. that what those different people get. molested they react differently to it I. was not molested I promise okay will you. beat probably no will you beat by your. dad no so you never beat at all I mean.

we got hit but like a normal kind of hit. then what happened to you um honestly. yeah I gotta be honest I got molested I. think I didn't get so I didn't what do. you mean what happened their anger in me. is just a part of that's a symptom of. them Who I am. I have just a hive run hot and I know. it's like a genetic thing I run hot. uh-huh daddy runs hot did your dad run.

hot we all run hot. did your dad run hot of course so if I. hung out with your dad for a weekend and. he would never hang out with you and he. would never go to Tahoe when I go to. Tahoe with your dad do you want me to. call him and see if we go to Tahoe with. you I mean but could you set it up here. just that be a fun experiment your dad. and me one week in Tahoe Tahoe you would. know our last you would never last what. he'd rage out on me. he'd rape you no he wouldn't he wouldn't. rage out on you know but it just said. that that's a pairing out whatever were. [ __ ] you would annoy the [ __ ] out of.

him he does drunk he would have a stroke. yeah yeah you would kill my father not. with your own hands but China your own. volition yeah I can't watch. documentaries like that that make me sad. I did watch the McDonald's thing he's. that good because I want to watch it. it's fine it's it's ask it's all about. the scam of the monopoly pieces and. that's that's fine to me. it's not it's nothing that you're gonna. go whoa it's not that big of a deal but. you're but you are you are gonna go wow. they could have done this in one you.

know I don't wanna fail cuz of my trauma. because of the way I was raised and. because you know I had to mention my dad. again he died support for bad friends is. brought to you by Matt's gay and escapes. are the best right the best I literally. use it I used to use a drive saver Oh. like in prison now really like a prison. dress the shaver and even just like a. razor little Nick's and it used to bleed. and then I went to the store and I got.

like another one and didn't work that. good but then when I started using this. it's perfect. everybody is tell them more it's great I. just use it buzzer is one of those and. it nicked up by nut sack so bad and you. when you bleed in the shower it's so sad. but the first time I used the electric. trimmer from the lawn mower from them. I'm telling you I you can get right up. against your sack it's not gonna cut it. it's incredible when I'm telling you. this is premium I mean pretty even the. battery will last up to 90 minutes so. you can take a longer shave 90 minutes. dude 90 minutes is a long time to shave.

your nuts I don't know if your nuts are. that big but if they are you can go the. full 90 minutes they're third-generation. trimmer has cutting edge ceramic blade. to prevent manscaping accidents millions. of balls are gonna be Nick free thanks. manscaped there's a 7000 RPM mount motor. with quiet stroke technology yeah it's. not loud so if your shield library. shaving your nuts you can do it in a. lime juice when there's just always. shave their nuts with a lawn mower 3.0. me and Bob both use it we. really enjoy it listen listen up listen.

very closely. trim the junk Bob and I know Bob trim. says he didn't use to but now you do. right yeah so for 20% off and free. shipping you go to manscape calm and. type in the code bad friend your balls. are gonna thank you once again you can. get 20% off free shipping with the code. bad friend and escaped dot-com by the. way I saw your dad over at your. brother's house that he had the box yeah. your brother's so heavy it was so heavy. with so much the box yeah it was so.

heavy I have the other half is it heavy. - yeah or is your box the same box I got. was a fatty did your did your mom get. any no she didn't want any actually want. any of it. don't keep me know yeah it was the. weirdest thing because it's like when he. died and then we went to the funeral. home or whatever we sat in his office. yeah like what do you want to do what. you know so we want to set up a no we. just just cremate him just put him in. the box they want to put him in a coffin. in the ground no they did they wanted. some sort of service you want to do a.

service and us three were like no no. just put him in the Box put him in the. mob put him in the [ __ ] box and now. how much money do you want the cheapest. spa there's like a target bag that you. can get yeah yeah yeah maybe I'd trade. it draws one really nice or one but okay. yeah you could do that but then the. second step is the brown box that we got. how much is it just so I know but but. what engraving and then the actual photo. on it that's a little money I saw that. yeah how much I know it was like how.

much does a grand dad cause that grand. maybe a thousand yeah when you die soon. do you want to be cremated or do you. want to be put in the ground I think I. want to service yeah I want to be I want. to be in a coffin you want to be put. into the earth yeah really yeah I don't. see that for you. why you know I just think that's like. it's just it's it's you know I know you. want a big show I know you like a big. show but you want to be in the earth. creepy earth bugs creepy crawling into. your eyeballs yeah because if there was.

like some sort of apocalypse and like. you know zombies came out and you want. to be able to come back that one can you. imagine everyone's like and then you pop. out you like a. [ __ ] your dick yeah a little and you. walk around with your little [ __ ] out. with little zombie copy do that yeah. someone's inside the house who is it the. zombies have broken in here they're. trying to eat us. except for that one who's supposed to. show us his weird penis yeah did you.

like The Walking Dead sure I never saw. one episode and I never saw one episode. of The Walking Dead you want me me angry. about the walking dead though but I. loved zombies and the Korean dude why. Steven Yeun you because it was a role. that you said no no I look he's a friend. of mine huh okay I know yeah what made. you mad about him though he didn't make. me mad okay what you said in in the show. he is he marries a white chick ooh God.

and then Ryan Seacrest on his radio show. God he tried to go that guy couldn't in. real life date that girl really yeah and. then he let it go because he realized. that nobody else was like I'm bored of. what he was saying that's really [ __ ]. up to say it was [ __ ] up to say writes. his name again. what Steven Yeun steai Steven Yeun by. the way I know him he's so very handsome. good god is no handsome Jiminy Cricket.

him jiminy crickets is he good-looking. yeah he's good-looking yeah I would. definitely hang out with Stevi own right. wow he's a sexy guy he has that little. kind of he's got that cute that little. asian mustache the little. non-threatening asian hairs the guy do. yeah. little non-threatening ones what are we. non-threatening you know like beards. kind of make men look like men and Asian. beards just like it just looks like a. carton cute and cartoony yeah that's why. I wouldn't make I wouldn't make a good. pioneer do you know why because you.

would you would never last out in like a. wagon you would never a pioneer like. discovering new land no like Abe Lincoln. the odd the Abe Lincoln so a president. what are you talking about because we. were able to grew up in the you know in. the pioneer days where he in a log cabin. sure right and they had these gigantic. beards mm-hmm I would look weird out. there could that have a foo Manchu. [Laughter]. you know me yeah I never full on full. Manchu but don't wouldn't you love that. you know because they're people like. Izzy chopping wood or gonna kick me in. the face you know why can't you just -.

why couldn't you just you could just. trim it up a little bit. no it would just be look I think we. would look weird I think honestly if. there were ages he's good-looking he's. cute there were Asians in the pioneer. days and the days where Pioneers existed. well in Deadwood yeah like no Western. towns we had opium dens opium opium. don't correct the way I talk cuz you got. you got what I said opium dens opium. deaths there's opium dad dead dad's. there's opium dead dead opium dens.

there's a Dell BM dead dad den and. Pasadena you can go to and just do opium. because you're dead dad do you know that. you know $35 an hour. stop doing that sorry but look so that. Justin young guy is a cute guy Steven. Yeun sorry. whatever yeah sorry whatever but but he. looks like this kid Justin shown that I. know you know justin chon yeah. yeah he kind of looks closer but this. guy secret said couldn't date a white. girl that's what the discrepancy was yes. I think Cygnus goes he couldn't get one.

no he goes he would in real life that. guy wouldn't be able to get that girl. and so that was on the show wasn't she. was average she wasn't like you know. means stunning what was her name I don't. even remember what was the show The. Walking Dead what are the biggest hits. of the last decade I didn't see I don't. know anything about it. yeah but um I did a good job is it. really yeah The Walking Dead and it was. it Walking Dead what was his name again. Steven Yeun yeah Steven Yeun girlfriend.

yeah that's the easy way to check in our. life is that her no wife and the show oh. it's wife on the show yeah okay where is. she there no this is all his wife in the. real real life yeah that's the problem. that they're gonna show all this stuff. yeah yeah there's him with the bat I. don't know I never saw the walking dead. but I know a lot of people liked it a. lot. Laura cohan is that her yeah that's her. so now you would you would he could get. her okay I don't wanna I don't want to.

offend either of these people cuz I. don't know them in the real world okay. good. based on the photo they seem quite. comparable exactly yeah right so it's. not it's not a stretch not even remotely. yeah but [ __ ] stupid Ryan Seacrest. right yeah you know first of all he's so. white he's white. right yeah he says I want to have a. message to Ryan Seacrest it'll add yeah. we're here dear Ryan Seacrest here. Rambam fat.

I'm misshapen you're not you're not a. girls wet dream your body is your body's. probably average I would say you're very. ever I'm pretty fat you're not fat right. now okay. yeah but I'm but I'm not like yeah but I. you wouldn't think that I would be able. to kill it with women that's not true. okay well I want to have a messenger. Ryan Seacrest I my message is that I've. dated girls comparable to her or even. harder that's right right Ryan mm-hmm.

and you know and you [ __ ] on the. internet go you look at girls because. you're you do stand-up and you have. money or whatever yeah yeah yeah I got. no [ __ ] it when I when I was 23 years. old. zero none I know your brother told me. that he was a virgin till he was 20 yeah. yeah so none none right and I go I'm. gonna have to do something figure it out.

and figure it out so I'll just go do. stand-up. that was why yeah and then four months. in hmm Jennifer field there was a white. girl named Jennifer field Jennifer field. walks up to me she goes hey you want to. eat my [ __ ] in my mom's house in. Oceanside I got why for free yeah your. field what do you think she is now by. the way I don't be please don't google. her because she's probably whoa yeah.

that's her no she was white did all this. girl is white that's Jennifer field. she was an F Asian she was she an. actress now you're never gonna find the. Jayce is the girl that said that to buy. that's not the girls is the girl okay. but my point is is that she lived in. Oceanside and I. remember going into her mom's closet. need sixty-nining her you did yeah and I. remember so check this out. Wow so she's on top of me like this okay. and her cheeks on my face like this.

mm-hmm. and it looked up at I literally did this. I looked up at the sky and if God could. if there was a camera you just see tears. these tears and I did a little wink to. God to the Lord and you think he was. watching I'm pretty sure what you think. God was watching you go Jennifer I. always thank God for things like that. are you becoming more religious now I. believe in God yeah you believe in God. or you believe in a thing like God do.

you actually believe in God I don't. believe in Jesus Christ Jesus Christ. yeah I believe in that we're all. connected by energy and that there is. some sort of loving optic omnipotent. loving and I'm the force. yeah force do you did was your before. your dad died did he pray you would see. like big I'm a completely atheist. see they always say a guy a man always. finds God on the deathbed your dad had.

no nothing like that. well my brother I don't know why he did. this but my brother would take photos of. my dad dying what why what he goes as he. was dying what my but my dad was in a. hospice for seven days nap chatting your. dad's death you know those photos where. someone does a a picture every single. day your debt your brother was doing I. never saw you showed you these photos. all these are gonna [ __ ] boggle your. mind I don't wanna I don't do I want to. see him are they [ __ ] up it's so hard. to see like that like when people also. you know when people did you look at.

your dad when after he was dead I was in. the room when he when he finally left. when he left and did your mom cry oh my. god yeah she was um so look at this but. your brother spent a good chunk of time. taking photos of your father as he. passed away oh my god is this hard to. look and your brother's crying your mom. is crying. yeah Jesus Bob this is sad this is very.

sad here's a [ __ ] you guys just show. your photo funny. that's not I hope it's not like that is. that that's not funny. yeah but then my mom goes my mom goes do. good she goes put that put the fall here. to the timer so you can be in the. picture I go what put the time on how. many seconds 10 seconds right and then. the first time I did it the thing fell.

over right and then the second time I. couldn't get around this like other. thing that was in up in the one. instruction yeah so then we did it like. 10 times but then we finally got it well. Bob yeah this is such a sad photo yeah. oh your poor mother yeah so then did. your dad know that you guys were taking. pictures was he conscious enough he's. dead here. oh that's he's out he's dead yeah yeah. holy [ __ ] Bob so yeah that was he dead. in the other one yeah you were taking.

iPhone pictures while your dad was dead. my mom wanted it he heard Korean people. are so that's so weird. that's wild because what are you gonna. do with that photo it's AI cinetic. Oliver and Kate Hudson why would you. send that to Oliver and Kate Hudson and. they were like don't ever send that. again no [ __ ] I don't know I'm Korean I. know you guys do yeah we do different. things death his death is a different. thing but anyway the week two days. before that yeah my brother was like I'm.

just gonna stay here like sleep in the. room with him yeah then I'm like as he. was dying yeah and like all right yeah. but all night long he just took photos. of him like stages and I texted him back. I go why is he doing this and then one. of them was this though huh my dad doing. this look. he did that that's so sad right so maybe. there is a god thing.

okay sure maybe there is a god thing but. your father didn't believe in God you. said yeah but maybe you think that was. maybe lying toward Oh going towards the. light maybe you think so yeah there was. a yeah he was doing that I'm sorry I. don't you don't being genuine with you. don't ever send people those photos ever. again that's an insane that's like a. literal insane thing to do no it's not. it's insane I'll tell you why here have. you heard of ROM DOS. I know ROM das so Westerners have this. skewed or different idea about death. right and ROM das you know when he was.

alive he died in December but he loved. being in the presence of death because. he's being in the presence of truth cuz. it's liberating. you know Securi is the most truthful. thing that you can witness okay right. and for me I believe that my dad moved. on to the next phase or at the afterlife. and I think that it's not I don't think. that you view it as some sort of weird. personal you know I mean private thing. that I think death is kind of pry it's.

not you don't think death is Mary that's. Ruth so death is truth but it's not. pride shouldn't so should we put should. we parade around death a little bit more. no but I don't think that we should like. hide same be shameful about it's not. shameful but it's but it's almost like. God like rest the dead type of [ __ ]. where you're like when they're gone. they're gone some countries they say. they have different ways of dealing with. it they celebrate you mean the right. party that goes sometimes they have a. party around the dead body yeah that's. what I'm saying is so it's like I don't. like - yeah but that's you're like angry.

Chicago no nearest [ __ ] lucky charm. thanks most you [ __ ] particle if. there's a rainbow. Seamus charms there's in Poway Hall of. Fame by the way most you don't do that. again. I really I was really adamant about this. people are gonna vote for you I mean. they're either gonna vote for you or. Seamus there's one of the two we're. gonna get in I can I tell you a story. real fast this is insane a guy at my. Bakersfield show passed out cuz I think. he was on too many edibles they said we. passed out in the middle of the [ __ ].

show and they to turn on lights and I. was like man what happened with the. [ __ ] lights and they said it was. probably because he was they were like. he was drunk but he was acting real. weird so I was like he wasn't drunk he. was [ __ ] high and he passed out in. the middle of the show slammed himself. on the floor this this [ __ ] poor dude. and they had to turn lights and drag him. out in the middle of the show and then. and then another weird thing when I was. in Atlanta maybe Atlanta was I just in. they tell people you know no cell phones. you know all the [ __ ] like no cell. phones all I like don't know record. another day whatever no pictures until.

after the show I got a grown man adult. male they had to throw out with her all. cuz he was drunk on his phone you know. like taking photos are [ __ ] around. and they threw him out and he cried and. he was bawling and I thought I'm not. kidding from the stage I thought I was. like in my mind he was so distant and. faint cuz it was up in the balcony I. thought that's weird that's like a thing. in might like I think I'm here it sounds. like someone but it could be something. outside yeah a grown man was bawling. because they were kicking him out of the. show oh I know it broke my fighter why. he was crying yeah because he loves you.

I know I know I'm what am i I didn't. have an angle that you probably like. saved all his money for - I had nothing. to do with this huge whiskey ginger. oh [ __ ] you whiskey ginger fan ya know I. either way I'm sorry I feel bad and he. like probably I don't know why he likes. whiskey ginger but he's like I love. whiskey ginger so much yeah yeah yeah. then he's just like being torn out of. there I had nothing to do with that he's.

going I didn't do it I didn't throw the. guy out I feel bad for the poor guy I. feel like they told me the security. guard was like laughing about his big. news I yeah he's [ __ ] crying like a. [ __ ] yeah that was like oh okay at a. comedy club. what are you okay so let me ask you. something I felt bad if they were if. they're if the club is rude to you what. do you do what do you mean like manager. treats me like I was in Seattle once and. when I walk arler yet the parlour yeah. and I did a show a couple shows already. that you know was a third I did show.

Thursday I did first show Friday it's. not there anymore is it it's not it. should and in the second show in between. shows I took like a 20-minute nap. because I was really tired I've done. that yeah and then I came back to the. second show and the doorman wouldn't let. me in to your own show yeah cuz he was. like I know who you are bro he goes eh. oh man we're all sold out. it's me no I didn't do that I just. walked in the club and then did they get. into a fight with you they he he he as. I'm walking forward he walked in front.

of me and started walking backwards it. whoa whoa whoa buddy. why don't you just say it's me I'm no. you do you think he should know is that. what that is I don't know if you're at a. comedy club he's a security guard he's. in [ __ ] care he gettin paid [ __ ]. eight bucks an hour to make sure drunk. people don't throw [ __ ] at you so you. would have just said I would have gone. hey I'm the guy nice to meet you I'm. Andrea what [ __ ] he doesn't care. that's what I've done. that guy doesn't [ __ ] care or [ __ ]. it up you know when he probably hates. comedy. he probably just like [ __ ] comedy after.

listen he's laughing at the helium in. Portland they had a little girl that was. reading a book it during the show no she. was a book she was the door woman oh and. as I walked in she goes ID I love that. and I go my ID. yeah I'm Bobby Lee ID she needs to she. needs to know you're of age so I had to. [ __ ] pull out my idea did you go I. need to go to my own [ __ ] show yeah. but you know what I mean what are you. [ __ ] you so like you know you don't. you don't take that personal here's the. thing here's the thing why do I care if. that guy knows who I am or not the.

people in the room all are there to see. you I don't care that the [ __ ]. security guard is like I don't know you. bro fine dog nice to meet you bud I'm. gonna go play a sold-out show for my. fans sorry you don't know me. I don't know you know what I mean so you. weren't molested. I was not yeah that's right that's. that's because a molester goes you wanna. know who I am yeah that's the difference. right yeah you don't get molested you're. fine I want to tell you one quick thing. to that do we do enough we did but this. blew my mind I want to tell you. something hold on I'm sitting on the.

plane I'm going from the plane from. Detroit to Atlanta the woman sees me on. my website checking the dates because. the the my [ __ ] dates were broke were. wrong it was going to wrongs pages so. I'm like kind of scrambling I'm texting. someone I'm dating hey man these pages. are not happening like something's wrong. it's sending people to the wrong page. and she's staring over my fight I can. [ __ ] feel her looking at my phone you. know and I'm kind of getting annoyed I'm.

like turning a little bit and then she. goes you're musician. no I go no I'm not a musician I'm a. performer I'm not a musician Oh what. kind of performer I just do a live. performance readings I do art readings I. do I read art art yeah I'm trying as. hard as I can to get out of it yeah she. goes hmm she sees me with a microphone. cuz that's my [ __ ] she goes do you Duke. are you a comedian I go yes yeah I get. like at some point like yes okay this is.

how you're reacting to these are a. little nicer right. no well just how you react no because. I'm feeling it's so invasive. all right like you why are you [ __ ]. looking at my phone that's that's. insanely invasive it wasn't organic at. all yeah and then she goes I'm I'm not. making this up she goes I love comedy I. said oh yeah like we haven't heard this. before I go oh yeah okay yeah um who do. you like she goes yeah white this is. white lady and there's a black guy to my. left okay black guy to my left white.

woman on my right going to Atlanta if. anybody knows Atlanta yeah very diverse. right a lot of black people this woman's. gonna Atlanta she goes Bill Cosby I go. bill cot Bill Cosby and I go oh okay and. then she goes yeah I like I like I think. he's he phenomenal and I go yeah yeah. bill was very good comic it turns out. he's a piece of [ __ ] and she goes what. like this yeah I'm not kidding what I go. I you know he raped women I mean he.

raped a lot of women he got caught. raping women. I'm not joking even a little bit yeah. well you know why I liked him cuz he. told blacks to stop complaining and lift. themselves up by their bootstraps black. out of my left I'm in the middle black. guy here is it for sure I'm sitting. there begging for the plane to crash um. please crash I was I please hit a bump. and let's [ __ ] tumble dear ma she.

goes blacks he told blacks to stop. complaining and lift themself up by. their bootstraps Rob that's what she. said. and by the way of a black out of my left. who now thinks I'm buds with her I'm. white. so right away he's like oh yeah. my god so here's me what do you say in. that situation I had to go oh uh I don't. know you know I'm not a huge. I don't not a you know I should have. pulled out a gun and shot my own [ __ ]. head there was no way out of it yeah and. the black guy I can feel his energy I. can feel him going huh that how you feel.

- and there's no way for me I'm at a. loss I can say this say it to me well I. like Bill Cosby because why why do you. like him well because he told blacks to. stop complaining and to lift themselves. up by the bootstraps yeah no I didn't do. it I try she made me so [ __ ] give her. a swastika pen huh a pin well when I say.

goodbye I said take it easy yeah it was. insane I didn't it was such an. uncomfortable [ __ ] I hate being put in. those situations that's why I don't want. to tell someone that you're a comic I do. it is what I don't yeah but when they. put a gun to you and it's like a their. grant they want to know it's it's hard. but the guy another guy on the way to. Detroit he I got um I got a snack thing. at a protein box and he goes I pay I. paid for it and I was like oh why and he. goes pay it forward man I think it's a.

cool thing to buy people stuff on planes. I go well thank you but then I realize. that's him kaboom sink in the bait now. he gets to talk to me the whole [ __ ]. time oh my iPad yeah this is me I had to. do this the whole time watching a movie. yeah I do do this but what's up all the. time I had to take off my [ __ ]. headphones go what's up and then he. would ask some question about what I'm. watching and then I go oh it's um love. his blah it's love is blind on Netflix.

okay all right yeah then I would watch. it again and no [ __ ] again what's up. yeah yeah yeah no I don't want to die I. don't want to drink thank you. that's why you where I put the sleepy. mask on I know I put the earphones on. your guy leet I'm not even asleep no no. you just disappeared I'm not even asleep. I'll just have my eyes open with the. mask on and just and just stare in the. darkness yeah but it's because it's. better than that thing it's better than. talking to people. I want to talk to you about the guy that.

you had me open for me who you requested. your friend are you gonna talk [ __ ] no. oh great yeah he's phenomenal. Matlock would ya yeah Matlock was a. great comic he did he did a whole. weekend with me well he he went to San. Jose with you yeah no we his family was. there right yeah and I had his mom and I. yeah you had to do the thing didn't you. I had to do I because I work two. different masks I have the dirty the guy. right here you're in the real authentic. real deal but then I can do a real.

suburban how are ya Oh your son you. raised him so well that's really not but. that's what I did you should do that. they're like oh yeah yeah because one. day they're gonna be gone yeah and and. they'll remember you as that nice kid. who just did the right thing by them by. just saying hey how's it going instead. okay you wanna see my dick no of course. that I know I know when to do that I. know when to pull my dick out and how. did he do he did great although it was. funny because the first show the host.

was really good the local host in San. Jose. he's from San Francisco's name is mark. smalls he's really good Nikki Glaser. uses him oh I know who he is yeah he's. very funny I've heard his name before. yes yes so he was killing it yeah so me. and Lockwood were backstage and he was a. little nervous he was like a vocally. sang to you Yahoo you would feel like. cuz he because he was pacing he's like. it's like I got this I cop you're gonna. eat it dude you asked fine his eyes why.

would you say that - that guy night he. goes what do you mean I go I don't know. man like robber Hartman's here he's not. there above no because I know we have. not yeah yeah but I'm telling him people. that are there just to make him nervous. yeah that like honestly dude it's like. oh if you don't do well you might not do. the next out of the show this is the. first show that's the first job the. sweat in his eyes vibrating and so then. he gets up on stage and me in the. manager come on let's go.

so we're in the audience right and you. could see him on stage kind of eating it. no yeah a little bit like he's starting. to struggle dry again and how I uses. what I'm doing. the back you know be just like tears I. have a great time right and the man the. managers like we're having a good time. but then five or six minutes in I could. see him gain come to resident the rhythm. yeah and then I was just like I'll call. the room cuz he did well yeah that's. good see you take my suggestions but. then we went to get tacos just real. quick because you said the thing and. then um we sat there any tacos and I had.

to do the whole how do you eat this girl. comes in how do I know you - you yeah oh. I don't know wait you've been in movies. right mm-hmm like yeah she's like. hangover yeah and I go yes no yeah you. were the guy in the trunk and hangover. that right okay okay stop Bob come on. Bob Bob Bob come say goodbye come here.

obviously it's finish the story though. so she says so she said stop she says. you're in the hangover and you go. obviously not you go no you guys now. everything I'm gonna see after that that. was the laughs no you know what you just. did it was how we she's closer look at. me look at me look at me yeah tell the. rest this story. I won't she goes no no I know what. you're trying to do just end it look at. Nikki why can you get me a napkin look. in the camera.

yeah and one two three thank you for. being a bad friend. [Music].