Hut, Hut, Straight Up | Ep 303 | Bad Friends

You two are bad friends. >> Who are these two idiots? >> A white dude and an Asian dude. You two. are disgusting. >> Well, you two are something. >> We're bad friends. >> Yeah. What's up? >> What's up? >> Yeah. Your energy today, dude. I don't. know, dude. >> What's wrong with my energy today? >> It's not mindful. It's not grace. There's no grace in it. >> All right. >> Yeah. Yeah. It's aggressive. >> You come with your hat down. You know. what I mean, >> dude? I'm not Taylor Swift. You have to. act like that. [laughter] You know what. I mean, guys? What's up? West side.

Englewood, huh? Shy town. You're That's where. you're from? >> You've never been to Englewood once. >> Genuinely. >> I know where it is, though. >> Where? >> It's south from here. >> Is it not? >> Yeah. >> It's by Watts, dog. >> I've been to the Watts Tower uh Watts. Towers. >> No, you haven't. >> Yeah, that's where I get my water. [laughter]. >> Have you ever Watts water, dude? >> Mm-. >> Yeah, dude. >> Is it good? >> Yeah, it's filled with all kinds of. juicy things. >> Oh, I love this is a big thing. the. Watts Towers. This was, you know, this.

was built by. >> these were actually um people thought. they were an art piece, but it turns out. >> I thought I thought there was water in. it. >> That's what I thought. Did you think? >> No, no, no. I knew that you thought. that. >> You thought it was a water tower. >> Yeah, I thought it was a water tower. Tower. I've never really seep into the. watch tower. I was lying. >> This man collected. >> What is that? >> Loose pieces of the Cuz the train runs. behind it, right? Isn't it from He took. parts from the train. >> and then I think the [snorts] rumor was.

it was it was art, but it turns out it's. actually the meetup point for Epstein. people. [clears throat]. >> Uh core steel rebar and wire mesh. covered with cement mortar decorated. mosaic of recycled found materials. >> It's one of those conspiracy blacks. You. know that movie with Julia Roberts? Was. that the movie? >> Oh, the Pelican Brief. >> No, no, not that one. Not that one. where Denzel plays like the Conspiracy. Black. Is that him? Dave, did he ever. play Conspira Conspiracy Black? >> What is Conspiracy Black? >> You know what I mean? You know what I.

mean? >> Exactly what you think it is. >> Exactly what you think it is. >> I don't know. I don't think. >> Yeah. You go inside their house. Everything's tin foil. >> You know what I mean? >> That's just normal for That's. conspiracy. >> Yeah, but he happens to be black. >> Oh, >> yeah. Yeah. There's conspiracy whites, too. >> I got it. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> I think there's majority are conspiracy. whites. I feel like more conspiratorial. >> You can find that movie. I think it's. called Conspiracy Theory. You know why. Bobb's in a good mood? Do you want to. tell everybody or should I tell. everybody? >> Nothing. >> Come on. >> What? >> I'll say it. Bobby has been or has gone.

on a few. >> No, no, no. That's not it. >> A few dates. >> That's not it. >> With Erica Kirk. [laughter]. >> She's grieving. And, you know, to me, I'm so empathetic, right, that I need to hold her. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. I'm grieving. Dave with her. >> Have you seen some of those like videos. with her in her eyes and stuff? It's. wild, dude. That's not what I'm talking. about. >> Man, you're in Canada. Another banger. Yeah, Siege. There's only so many movies. where conspiracies come up and Denzel's. in them. Really? >> Did I tell you he's That's like every.

movie he's ever done. >> Yeah. >> Did I tell you that we tried to watch. Benjamin Button? >> Well, you would try You have to watch it. backwards. It's better that way. [laughter]. >> We tried. It's normal that way. You know. what I mean? >> It's so [ __ ] bad. Like, watch it. again in this era. It's I remember back. then we were like, "Oh, it's wild. It's. groundbreaking." Because when I saw it, I I was I was in the theater. I was. like, "Oh my god, we're in the future, >> dude. It's [laughter]. >> remember. I can't believe it. >> It's so bad." I mean, look at the. >> Fincher.

>> Yeah, but look at It's so [laughter]. bad. >> It's so weird. It looks like he's. wearing a Donald Rumsfeld mask. >> Oh, yeah. >> It doesn't look real. >> It doesn't look real. >> It dude, it's so weird. We tried. Look. at that. >> Look at that. >> We watched this. This movie won an. Academy Award. >> Wait, wait. You saw it with whom? >> We watched at the house. It was just on. and I think it was on like HBO or. whatever. You know when they're like you. and I was like we haven't I I don't this. movie was so long ago. I was like I. haven't seen that. I'm going to watch it. again. Yeah, >> dude. 20 minutes. I was like I got to.

get out of here. It was trip. Look at. that. It was tripping me out. >> That's insane. >> How am I supposed to come with that. going on? [laughter]. >> It's insane. >> He turned into Mitch McConnell. [laughter]. >> It's little Rudy. >> Here's another one. Meet Joe Black. >> Oh, dude. >> Do you like that one? >> I used to. >> Yeah. Yeah. Watch. >> You know what? If I rewatch that again, it's like you're He's an angel, right? >> Yeah. >> You like peanut butter? >> Yeah. What is that? >> What is that? >> What are we talking about? >> It's a little quirk. You know what I. mean? I just. >> Yeah. How about almond butter? Why not? Why peanut butter? >> Why peanut butter?

>> He's so hot though. >> Yeah. He's still Have you seen him now? >> He's even hotter. >> He's hotter now. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> Cuz I saw like some new girl he's. dating. They had a picture of them. together on. >> on the internet and I was like, "God, it. never breaks, huh?". >> Yeah. Look at him. He was born that way. >> That guy is built. He is built. different. >> Built for speed. [laughter]. >> Yeah. Oh my god. >> Vroom vroom. >> vroom vroom. Look at that, dude. >> I would just literally It's like a. [ __ ] futon. Yeah, man. I would lay on. him like a futon. >> Yeah. [laughter]. >> Wouldn't you? No. Pete, really, Pete? I.

know you're not gay, but. >> Absolutely. >> Yeah. Right. Would you? >> We don't know. >> Yeah. Yeah. If you walked in your house, Brad Pitt happened to be naked laying on. your couch, you would lay right on top. of him. That's your instinct. >> I'd get naked immediately. >> Immediately. And I'd go, "Let's compare. bodies. [laughter]. Stand up, Bradley. >> I think at one point I'll be like, "What. are you doing in the house? >> What are you doing in my house?". >> After But that you say that after you're. Yeah. After you have sex with Brad Pig, you're smoking a cigarette in bed and. you're like, "How'd you get in my. house?" [laughter]. >> Exactly. You don't ask before. Never. No. You just do.

>> You just have to let it be. >> Yeah. >> That was from F1. Did you watch F1? >> No. But do you think he knows he's hot? >> Yes. >> Brother, do you know you're Asian? >> [ __ ] I do. >> Yeah. Well, IT'S THE SAME THING. >> OH, [ __ ] IT'S THE SAME THING. HE KNOWS. IT. >> Here's what it is. Yeah. Yeah. >> I forget sometimes I have red hair. [laughter]. >> It's the reddest hair I've ever seen. >> But I have red hair. >> I know. It's so mutantike. >> So like he must forget sometimes he's. hot, but then look in the mirror and go,

>> I'm hot. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> I'm so. >> Every morning you must look in the. mirror and go, I have red hair. >> No. I get out of the shower, I see my. little red penis and my red pubes and I. go, I have red hair. Like it makes me. laugh. I have little I have red hair. >> Dude, do you The shock and awe of me. being Korean all the time. [laughter]. >> It's It's shock and awe. >> I look in the mirror, I go, "Holy [ __ ]. I am Asian." [laughter]. >> It's like It's startling because you're. in I'm in a white world. >> Yeah.

>> I'm around a lot of white people, right? And then every night I look in the. mirror, I go, "Look at that." [laughter]. >> But it's. >> Look what's going on there. >> No, it's positive. >> It's not. It's pure negative. Koreans. are the best. >> because I'm not like, you know what I. mean, like leading man Korean. Those are. hot, right? >> You're next door neighbor. >> I'm next door neighbor. I'm the guy that. you don't trust in the movie. You know. what I mean? >> Actually, I think you're the guy that. turns out to be. You know who you are? >> Yeah. >> But the I don't What's the character's. name in Home Alone that they think he's. evil? The guy with the shovel, the old.

man, but he turns out to be the best. >> Marley. >> Marley. You're that because people are. like, I'm weary of that little Korean. guy. But guess what? Yeah, >> guys have got a great heart, great soul. Turns out to be a great guy. >> All right, I want you to Google this. All right. >> Half naked guy in Kung Fu Hustle. I'm. that kid. [laughter]. >> What? >> What? >> In Kung Fu Hustle. Yeah. One of my. favorite movies. >> That's a bad. >> Yeah. Yeah. No. No. But that's who he is. in the movie. You know what I mean? >> Every time I watch that movie, I go, I. think I'm that guy. >> It sucks.

>> Oh, yeah. That's 100% it. Yeah. Getting. cracked around. >> Getting cracked around. Yeah, that's me. Yeah. [laughter]. But you know, somebody has to be that. >> That's right. >> When I look in the mirror, go, "Somebody. has to be whatever that.". >> Someone has to be us. And why not. [snorts] us? >> Or have you? When I look in the mirror. naked, when I see my naked body, oh my. god, it's pure shock and awe. >> The dog walked in on me taking a shower. I stepped in the shower and I heard her. coming up behind me, heard her, you. know, chain. >> Yeah. >> And I go, "Oh, hey.". >> She then looked up, saw me naked, and.

went [snorts]. >> and walked out. >> Yeah. >> Not happy about it. >> Wow. >> Well, I gained a little bit of weight. You have gotten a little a. >> little porky. I'm 206 right now. >> I kind of like it. >> 206. >> cuz it thickens out like you're a. football player almost. >> I'm getting a little footbally. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> Straight up. >> Yeah. >> I. >> I walked out just one I know you're. going to say something. I'm so sorry. Straight up is good. >> I have nothing else to say. >> Yeah. Straight up. >> Straight up. >> Yeah. What is that? >> Hut hut. [laughter]. >> You think they yell straight up? >> That's what you just said. >> Travis Scott, >> didn't I say hut hut?

>> You did. >> Oh, you [laughter] did? I thought. >> Yeah. I thought they said straight up. >> Straight up. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> Straight up. >> Aren't Isn't it a move that they're. saying out loud? >> No. >> Yeah. Go to the right. [laughter]. >> Right. Go around me. >> Yeah. >> They don't Is that a move? >> They're not telling the other guys are. right there. >> I know. But it's like him because he's. the captain, right? >> Yeah. >> He's the leader. The quarterback's the. leader, right? >> Is the captain, >> right? So, isn't he going, you know what. I mean? Natron, go to the right. >> No, he doesn't yell out the plays. Oh,

he doesn't. >> Well, then they would know. They're. right there. >> No, but it's their own code word. >> Well, they do have codes. You are you're. halfway. >> Pelican Town 260. >> That's [laughter] a good That's a play. >> Yeah. >> Pelican Town 260 is a play. >> Downtown Magoo. Turn around. >> Turn around. >> And then they're like, "Oh, I got to. turn around. I'm going to do downtown. Magoo. [laughter]. >> Don't Isn't that what they do?". >> Yeah. >> Okay. I don't know football. I don't. watch that sport. But anyway, um, >> you know football. >> I know the real football. Yeah. Yeah. And Arsenal won today 4-1. That's why. I'm in a good mood. [applause]. You beat Aston Villa and there were.

three punts below us. If they had won. that game, they would have tied us for. number one. >> Nice try, Aston Villa. >> Nice try, Ollie Watkins. Anyway, um. >> Aston Villa, by the way, is that a name. of a city? >> No, but it's the same of a football. club. It's one of the oldest football. >> Terrible name. >> Yeah, >> Aston Villa. >> Yeah, >> that's a symbol. >> How British does that [ __ ] [ __ ]. sound? >> Aston Villa. >> I play for Aston Villa. >> Yeah. >> How about you? What' you get for. Christmas? >> Nothing. I'll tell you this. I'm going. to say that what I was going to say. before because of the dog thing and then.

I'll go to the Christmas. >> I'm a little wired up. Sorry. >> I like it. >> Okay. So, um. >> I love it. >> Well, there's three things happening. >> Go. >> I want just say all the things that are. happening. Give it. >> Okay. >> Um number one, I I I walked out a movie. last night and and it's like. it's Park Chan Wuk, the guy that did Old. Boy. I think he produced this movie, Korean movie. >> It's called um I had Google I [ __ ]. >> Wait, but you w you went to the theater. to see it. >> I was I went to the Grove. You know how. busy the grove is right now, dude. No. other choice is what. >> No other choice. Turns out you had a few.

and one of them was to leave. [laughter]. >> And it's it got What is the um rotten. tomatoes on it? >> I never trust tomatoes. >> 99%. >> I don't trust it. >> I think 99%. [snorts]. >> I just don't trust that it's too 98. That's way too high. >> Yeah. So, and it's the guy from Squid. Games. Great actor. Beautifully shot. Beautifully shot. Right. Um, it's a dark comedy. The. comedy really works. They're just so. talented, right? Koreans ain't how to do.

it. >> Mhm. >> But there's one moment. So, I'm going to. just tell you, I'm not going to give any. spoilers. Okay. >> No, we're never going to see this. It. doesn't matter. [laughter]. >> Really? >> Well, I mean, maybe. >> All right. So, >> that moment, >> this guy, right, the guy on the right, right, happily married, two kids. >> He's a paper man. >> He work he works for a paper processing. plant and he's been there for 25 years. Makes a good living. and he gets fired. Okay. From his job. >> for stealing paper. >> No. [snorts]. >> For,

>> you know, the Americans bought the. company and they're doing some. readjustments like that. Yeah. So, anyway, um there's a point where it's. like he won't get a job, right? So, he. they're running out of money, right? So, the first thing they do is they get rid. of their dogs. >> What? >> Yeah. They had two dogs. They're like, "We can't feed this whole family." How. hard is it to feed a [ __ ] dog? >> Yeah. That's the weird. >> It's It As soon as that happened in the. movie, I'M LIKE, I'M OUT. >> I'M OUT. >> I AM OUT. >> I'M OUT. >> I WALKED OUT.

>> You got rid of the dogs? >> Yeah. Yeah. You And the kids are crying. Look. Yeah. It's It was. >> I got rid of the kids. >> I'd rather give one of the kids. >> They're so much more expensive. >> They're way more expensive. Yeah. How. far How expensive is dog food? >> I mean, dude, you can get You can get. like a 50 lb bag from Costco for like 10. bucks. >> I know. Exactly. I mean, they're not. going to be the healthiest food for the. dog. Keep it alive. >> It'll be dude. Dogs live on the street. Street dogs. >> Whenever something like that happens in. a movie where I'm like, I wouldn't do. that. I have to leave.

>> I I you know, I saw a [ __ ] thread. today. Was it yesterday morning or this. morning? That pissed me off. Someone was. like, I don't care. I'll say, you know, like hot takes, you know, this [ __ ]. >> I hate hot. >> And they were like, hot take? I don't. [ __ ] care. Uh, if you're a dog. person, you are stupid. Just accept it. And I was like, what does that even. mean? person. >> And when I say, "What does that even. mean?" It's cuz I'm stupid and I don't. get it. >> Yeah. [laughter]. >> Cuz I'm a dog person. Yeah. >> I I don't trust people that don't like. dogs. Weirds me the [ __ ] out.

>> I I don't trust a president that doesn't. have a dog. >> He's the only one. >> I know. It's crazy in history. Yeah. Have a cat. I don't A gerbal. >> Actually, if he had a honey badger, I. don't care what it is. >> Honey badger would be sick. >> That'd be sick. >> I got my little badger here. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And he's gnawing on. Steven uh Miller's ankle. [laughter]. All of that. He was like, "Oh, yeah. Yeah, >> Donald, come get your honey badger. [laughter] [ __ ] I have to go to. school and bring my honey badger.". >> Yeah, you have. Yeah. I. >> I don't get it. You got to have some.

kind of animal. >> Yeah. Here's another Tik Tok video that. I can't watch. When did they start of a. I don't know who needs to hear this. Nobody. Nobody needs to hear what YOU'RE. SAYING CUZ YOU DON'T KNOW [ __ ]. >> YOU DON'T KNOW [ __ ]. >> WE DON'T CARE ABOUT YOUR OPINION. [laughter] YOU'RE A REGULAR GUY. >> You're a regular guy. >> You know what I mean? It's like. >> you're a regular guy. >> Yeah. Degrassi. What? The scientist guy. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> What are we talking? Oh, Neil. >> Neil. Yeah. Yeah. >> I thought about the TV show. >> No. If [laughter] Well, whatever. >> Neil Degrass Tyson.

>> Yeah. Yeah. Need grass. Tyson. You know. what I mean? If he says I don't need I. don't Then I'll go, oh, I think I'm. going to I I want to hear his opinion. about this. >> Yeah. >> Or anyone professional like Scott. Galloway. >> Nah, let me pause on Scott Galloway. >> No, don't pause on him. Push play. He. says some [ __ ] that I'm like, >> I know. I love it. >> The [ __ ] are you talking? >> I'm reading his book right now. >> He does this whole skip about like, you. know, people are drinking less than. they've ever drank and they're having. less sex and men aren't talking to women. and all this [ __ ] [ __ ] It's like I. don't Is that true? How do we know.

that's true? >> It's called statistics, my friend. >> Who's filling out those forms? What the. [ __ ] do you mean? >> In the Midwest, they do it. >> where they pull people on the street and. they go, "Who's [ __ ]. >> Yeah. >> I don't buy it.". >> They don't do it in Studio City cuz I've. been around. You know, they don't. >> Here's why I don't buy it. We're friends. with a young man here. What's your name. again? >> Mone. >> Mone. >> Yeah. >> This guy, he's in the height of his 20s. He's in the in the center of it. >> He's not a normal. >> He's [ __ ]. >> I know, but he's he's not an average. white dude. This.

>> He is the most average looking white. dude I'VE EVER SEEN. [laughter]. >> NO, NO, NO, NO, NO. You don't get about. this McCone guy, right? He's a shifter. >> He's He's He's got the gift of gab. You. know what I mean? He's slimy. >> He's got Hollywood quality. What is and. then what's. >> to have him when I first met him to just. directly walk up to me and talk business. >> is insane behavior. And I'm like, "Oh, a. little mover and shaker, this little. one. Slimy mover shaker.". >> And then he gets into here, moves up. He's a [ __ ] climber. >> You want to fire him?

>> No, I love him. Okay. >> He's like a pesty little brother. >> Yeah. Yeah. So, he stays. But what I'm. saying is I'm on to you. But he's not a. normal, you know, I mean, a average. 20some year old man. >> All his friends are [ __ ]. >> Yeah, cuz they're not. Have you met. them? >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Half of them are. >> But the ones that he has in Minnesota, those ones, they're not [ __ ]. >> Yes, they are. >> No, I met them. >> What do you mean? >> They don't even talk. [laughter] They're. come to like a catatonic. They're like totem poles. Whenever you.

introduce me to them, they're like, >> "Well, they all they they're big fans of. you, by. >> They're not big fans, dude. a good smile. then. >> Do you ever Do you ever tell someone to. meet you at a nice spot and you never. show up? >> No. >> You've never done that? >> No. >> That's like a move that people do where. they bail on a date? >> Yeah. [snorts] I can't do that. I don't. I've never ghosted anybody on a date. >> Have you been ghosted though? >> Oh, yeah. >> Yeah. See, that's why it burns. >> It hurts, huh? >> Yeah. >> But you still remember the person. I bet. you it sits in your memory bank. >> You know who did it. >> It seeps deep in my soul. >> You know who did it. Yeah. That's why.

they do it. I think. >> you know that. You know somebody that. did to me. >> Do I? I know who it is. Do you? >> No. I'm asking you. Do I know who they. are? >> Yeah. >> No. What the [ __ ] Who's on first? >> Who's on second? [laughter]. >> I don't know, dude. >> Straight up. Straight up. >> Straight up. >> Wait. Wait. Who did it to you? >> Ble room back dash. >> Got it. [laughter]. >> There will be a college football team. that uses Bickloom back dash. >> Yeah. Ble room back dash. You know what.

I mean? >> BLE ROOM BACK DASH. >> UP THE STRAIGHT. >> STRAIGHT UP. AND then the wide receiver. knows what to do. >> He does. >> And he does a little bickle room like. move. >> If you're a college football player of. any kind, please use a bad friend's uh. call at the line. >> Yeah. >> And let us know. >> Ble room back dash. >> Well, what are you doing? How to. properly yell as a quarterback. >> Yeah. There's like a specific. >> blue 42. >> I got one. I would do this. I would. close this one and open this one. [laughter]. >> Sing along. >> Yeah. Yeah. That's a good one. Give me.

one. >> Air lick. But don't do this. Don't be. hacky about it. Come up with your own. >> Imagine if you saw a quarterback at the. line and he went 449. [laughter]. >> And I would know what that is. Slither. >> Slither. Slither. >> Slither around the defensive linebacker. >> That's a slither play. >> Yeah. Yeah. That is. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> That is my. >> Oh, it's a hook route. >> Yeah. It's a hook route. Hook. >> on both sides, though. >> Yeah. Double hook. >> One hook round. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Single. hook. >> Yeah. Single hook is one side. You know. what I mean? [laughter]. >> That'd be fun to come up with. should.

coach a team, >> dude. That'd be great. >> Let us coach your local team. >> We should just co We should coach like a. inner mural team. We should have a bad. friend's inner mural team. >> And the thing would be what some of my. coaching would be direct like that. It's. exactly what it means. >> Direct. [laughter]. >> Yeah. Yeah. Headbutt the guy twice. >> It's exactly what that means. There's no. hidden agenda, right? I just headbutt. You know what I mean? [laughter] Looks. like you got water in your ear. Oh, there it is. Finger flick. Yeah. Yeah. Right in the face. >> Arm finger. Yeah. Flick in the face.

[laughter]. >> Right. And then some of them would be. like, you know what I mean? Not obvious. >> A little bit more secretive. >> Yeah. [laughter]. >> What is that? >> What? >> What was that? >> Click of the nose and focus. >> Oh, focus. [laughter]. >> Hey, boogerhead. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's what that. is. >> I get that. >> Yeah. Yeah. I think we should do it. >> I'll do it. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> I would love to. We'll draw up some. plays. >> Yeah. Now, with your knowledge of. football, >> is there plays in baseball? >> Uh, yeah. I mean, that's a hard It's not. the same. >> It's harder. Well, there's there's.

there's signals from coaches this, you. know, like you know, signals. They do. that the third base. >> Yeah. But what does that all mean? >> Well, they're signaling to the runner uh. the next move what the what the batter's. going to do. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> To swing swing away or to take the pitch. or or to try to steal the base or. there's Look, well, there's a bunch of. different signals there, but they all. have different uh signs. Signs. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> Pitch These are pitch call signs. >> Wow. That's amazing. >> They don't do the same. They use an. older hand. >> Is that my hand? [laughter].

>> That's my hand. I'm not kidding. That's. my hand. >> That's the oldest hand I've ever seen. Um. >> I have an old hand. >> So this is something. Upside down piece. >> Yeah. >> This twice. Yeah. They got to get more. creative, dude. >> Oh, they only have your hand. You have. one hand. >> I know. But you could still, you know. [laughter] What about this move? >> No, cuz this one has a mitt. One has a. mitt on it. >> Oh, it's a mit, right? >> Catcher has one mitt on it, >> right? And then do they do this? >> Yeah. >> Meaning catch it. >> Catch it. [laughter]. pitcher does that. Catch the ball, dude.

You know what I mean? >> That's from the pitcher. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> Draft King Sports Book, an official. sports betting partner of the NFL, makes. every playoff moment feel bigger. DraftKings has your back with early exit. protection. If the player in your. eligible NFL prop bet goes down at any. point in the first half, you still get. paid in cash. >> And I'm telling you, I'm hoping my. Chicago Bears continue to do what. they're doing. Let's close our eyes and. pray. Please do what you need to do to. do what you got to do, baby. Download.

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You can get yourself 10 free meals and a. freeze willing knife. That is $144.99. value on your third box. Offer valid. while surprise last. Free meals applied. as discount on the first box. New. subscribers only. Varies by plan. >> Wow. >> Would you be a pitcher or a catcher? >> Oh, I'd be a catcher. >> Yeah, I know. >> I catch. Yeah. Yeah. >> Yeah. I don't pitch. >> I'm a pitcher. >> Yeah, I know you are, D. And I like. catching your balls. [laughter]. >> It's my favorite thing to do. >> Yeah. What if somebody has like. Tourette's all of a sudden? Not. Tourette's, but like goes into a.

seizure. That'd be fun. >> That'd be terrible. [laughter]. Yeah. But he's going right. And you know. what I mean? And the He's like, I don't. know what to do. You know what I mean? [laughter]. >> What? The batter. >> The batter. They see the coach. You know. what I mean? And the looking at like, I. don't know what move that is, but I'll. try. >> Swing away. >> Yeah. took away. [laughter]. >> What do you think? >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> That's got to That's That feels like. that's in a movie. [laughter]. >> I feel like that's Daniel Stern Little. Big League or whatever. >> Yeah. >> I I feel like [laughter] gang members.

could probably do it. Well, >> hey, Steel 30. >> Throw up some [ __ ]. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Hey, dude. You know. what I mean? Do this, right? >> Well, you know, they have gangs. They. have g uh not gangs, but I mean like in. prisons, they have like inter mural. leagues in prison. M. >> and longest [snorts] yard, man. >> Yeah. >> All gang sides. Whoa. >> Well, let's not throw any of these up. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> Wait, let me see. >> Compton [ __ ]. >> This one I can do. I like. >> I don't think we should do these. >> Why? >> On the air.

>> Yeah. >> It's probably a bad idea. >> Yeah, but this means different than. whatever that means. This means antlers. >> Sure. [laughter]. >> Deer gang. >> or hunters. >> Get the antlers, dude. You know what I. mean? Yeah. >> What do you Yeah. >> Japanese girl gang. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You know what I mean? >> I like I'm not going to lie, the hand. signals for gangs are incredible. You. see them throw them up, you love them. Oh, geek gang. What is that? >> Yeah. >> Geek gang signs. >> Now, how could you take Okey dokie and. turn into a gang sign? That sucks.

>> Like, cuz if you're like seeing a guy, you go, "Hey, hey, Bobby, I'm going to. go to the gym, right?" And I go, "Okay.". [laughter] That's what I'm saying. That's unfair. >> Yeah. It's not. You can't steal. They. stole it. >> You can't do okie doie anymore because. it's a gain. Well, >> yeah. Yeah. >> You know. >> Okay. I know. [laughter] I know. I get it. I. understand. >> I understand it. >> A lot of things have been taken over. >> Yeah, that's true.

>> A lot of things have been taken. They're. just, you know, >> like the swastika. >> That was ours. >> No, that was um Indonesian, right? It. was like Buddhist almost. >> Well, it means peace. >> It means peace, right? >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> You know what's so crazy? The marketing. is great. >> on the swastika. I mean, because to take. to take peace and turn it into a a. symbol of hate, >> it's like taking the peace sign now and. turning into hate. >> Well, it's almost poetic. >> You're taking something that means peace. and turn it into absolute hate, which is. kind of odd. How. >> good marketing, that's all. >> Phenomenal. Good team over there in.

Germany. [laughter]. >> So, check it out. We're branding. We're. going to rebrand the peace symbol. [laughter]. >> Hitler, I love it. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> Now, give me some [ __ ] math. [laughter] Yeah, they did a lot of math. >> He loved math. A lot of them did. >> What would If you had terminal cancer. and you're on your way out, would you do. would you ride the horse? Would you do. heroin? >> I mean, I would do what the doctor. prescribed, but much more. >> Mhm. >> Um, you wouldn't go street drugs?

>> I might. I don't know, dude. I might. want to face it head-on. Clear. >> death. >> Yeah. What's so funny? >> Carlos does not want to face it. >> Like Rahm Doss says, >> I don't want to face traffic. Oh, that's. true. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> But don't you want to be in the present. moment of death? >> No. >> I don't know. Well, I definitely don't. want to die in my sleep. >> A Jane Goodall. >> That's a huge fear. >> She died in her sleep. >> The ape woman. >> Yeah, >> she did. >> Yeah. >> I thought she died from an ape, wasn't.

she? >> Well, ape was next to her probably. I. don't know. I don't know if she sleeps. with him, but I think she died in her. sleep. No. >> Famous people die in their sleep. James. Gandalfini, John Candy, Heath Ledger, Bernie Mack, Britney Murphy, Jerry. Garcia, Reggie White. >> Wow. >> William Howard T. >> Why not die in your sleep? >> I want to know what's coming. >> Oh, >> like when I die, I want to go, okay, it's happening. >> Oh, I see. >> I don't want to go to bed and being. like, "What a great day.". >> Yeah. >> Honku, honk. And then I And then I never. wake up. >> Wow. >> I want to be alive when I'm dead.

>> Hey, >> no, dude. >> You want to be asleep. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> Well, you sleep so [ __ ] much. going. to happen. [laughter]. >> I. >> from a percentage perspective. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> Like it has to be for you. >> Yeah. >> By the way, I talked to a buddy today. who says that he's gone up north and. eaten reindeer before. >> Oh my god. This. >> No, he says they're [ __ ] awesome. >> This [ __ ] guy does. >> What? >> You don't eat reindeer dog? >> What do you mean? You can eat reindeer. meat. >> No, it looks good. It's like.

>> It's too gy probably. >> No, he said it was actually pretty good. because it was because it's fatty, right? Because it's so cold. They have. to eat a lot to stuff up for the winter. So, it's it's it's fattier than um. >> Oh, that does look delicious. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> It's fattier. >> I think I think of Rudolph and stuff. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> Well, no. Rudolph. >> You can't eat Rudolph. >> Somebody did. >> Oh, no. >> Somebody did. Reindeer meat. See, it. looks good. >> Dude, that's like I told you when I was. in Australia and I had kangaroo. Phenomenal. >> I loved it. The guy was like, "Yeah, you.

might not like it, mate." And I was. like, "I'll try it." We went to like a. little bar restaurant thing and I was. kind of like I'll have a couple bites. Ate the whole [ __ ] thing. >> Wow. >> It was delicious. >> Wow. >> But they needed they need to get rid of. them because they outnumber kangaroos. outnumber Australians. Like what is it? It's crazy. I think it's like 3 to one. or something bonkers like that. How much. could you charge for Rudolph's nose to. eat? If you actually caught Rudolph, right, and you're like, you know, Rudolph has one nose and it's probably. original because it's red. Bright red.

>> Yeah. You probably could eat it. >> Well, I'm sure you could lick it. >> or you could boil it or something. >> What do you think it would taste like? >> I don't know. I mean, probably. delicious. Like candy cane and. >> just [snorts] a sugar. >> Like a a sugary meat. Like a Korean, you. know what I mean? Um meat that's been. like, you know what I mean? Um what do. you call it? >> Marinated. >> Marinated. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> Marinate that. >> You could probably charge a million. dollars for Rudolph's nose. >> Well, it's one nose. You'd have to. charge way more than that. It's only. one. >> Yeah. Or Daffy Duck's duck like beak. How much could you charge for that? Oh.

my. >> duck beak. >> Daffy duck beat. >> Right. [laughter]. >> What do you think? >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Be so expensive. >> Yeah. Tinkerbell wing. >> Just one. >> Tinkerbell wing. Dude, it's not a. filling. >> No. >> But you could probably charge a good 20. grand for one wing. >> It's a delicacy. >> It's a delicacy. Yeah. >> What about a Mickey Mouse ear? >> Ooh. >> Just one ear. >> One ear of Mickey Mouse earier. >> Oh my god. >> Oh my. I mean, a lot of people would be. upset. >> So [laughter] what? >> Right. >> Oh god. But what if Mickey's walking.

around with one ear? You know what I. mean? >> See, we didn't kill him. We just took. the ear. >> Just one ear. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> Big deal. >> Yeah. Some Korean guy and a redheaded. guy took my ear. I was sleeping. >> Say that again. I can't hear you. >> What? [laughter]. Oh, yeah. Good one. >> Okay. What is that? Kangaroos. Oh, yeah. It's one to two for every person. Yeah. There's too many of them. There's. [laughter]. >> crazy. There's too many Chinese. We. don't eat them. We.

should [laughter]. >> That'd be good. >> What is that? Like the old slogan, eat. the rich. It was just eat the Chinese. [laughter]. >> Dude, we went out. We were out uh. >> What' you do? >> And we're out in the mountains and there. was literally no snow up in Utah. It was. crazy to me. >> When you say we who? >> My wife and my well and her family. >> Great. What do you I'm not accusing you. of anything. >> Well, you say like who was I with? I was. with the whole. >> Well, you could have been with your. family as well. >> Oh, yeah. We switch years. We do the. this year, that year, this year. >> Well, that's all I wanted to know. What. year was it? >> Which we're It's their year. You're. right. But we're no longer doing that.

again. I think I think every year from. now on, we're going to do double downs. >> You got to double down it then. Yeah, >> I think I got him. My parents are. getting older, so I got to do it. I want. to see them more often. But we went up. there to to Utah and it was no snow and. I didn't care. I wasn't going to ski. this year. But my god, you feel bad. These people that like go up there their. whole year they wait to go up there. They get their kids. They spend all this. money going on vacation. No snow. It's. rain. >> You can't ski on no. >> Oh, there's almost no There was almost. no snow up there. Huh? >> You can't ski without snow. >> Yeah, that's what they say. >> It's a big component. >> Yeah. Why can't you uh water ski?

[laughter]. >> The legs are frozen. >> Oh. Oh, they are. >> Yeah. >> Oh, this is double. >> You could ice skate. >> There we go. Why can't you do that? >> I would love to ice skate with you. >> I'm pretty good. >> Yeah. >> Well, don't be Oh, you know what? I. fall, you laugh. It'll be the end. >> I would love to go ice skating. >> I'd love to go ice skating with you as. well. >> Speed skating, though. We would race. >> You can you ice skate? >> Mhm. >> Okay, I can too. No, >> we'll see. >> Is that Minnesota in you getting you. that still got you?

>> We shall see. >> We. >> shall see. Dude, I hate your challenging. [ __ ] vibes. [laughter]. >> It's so Yeah, [clears throat] cuz he's. Mr. Sporting Guy. What's going on here? >> That's speed skating. >> Yeah. Yeah. I can't do that. But. >> we should try. How funny would we be in. those outfits? >> Oh, that'd [laughter] be so funny. >> with those long blades on. Well, the. Winter Olympics are coming up. Ask us to. host something. Winter Olympics. >> Yeah. >> Where is it at again this year? Where's. the Winter Olympics? In Italy, I think. in like Milan, maybe. Milan. >> How [ __ ] cool. Invite us NBC.

>> Remember Leslie Jones did what? >> Look at these [ __ ] SKIING IN. THIS [ __ ]. >> NO, but was didn't she do like the. Brazil or [snorts]. >> DAMN, THESE GIRLS GOT BIG OLD ASS. [laughter]. BACK TO YOU, [ __ ]. >> YEAH, >> that's such a crazy pick to host the. Olympics. >> Yeah, there she is. >> With Al Roker. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. This is, you know, by the way, this is my petition for comedians to not. host anything ever again. >> What? >> We're not right for this. We try to do.

these things. It's insane. What do we. Why are we doing this? >> Also, you have to edit yourself and. >> you want to make so many inappropriate. jokes and you can't say anything for. >> you can't say anything. >> By the way, we rewrote that made me We. just watched the We were talking to a. friend at the house and we were talking. about vegetarian meals like giving you. farts, you know, >> and Portland had like the best sketch of. all time. They go to a vegan restaurant. Have you ever seen this? >> No. And while they're in the middle of. it, the woman's like, "We notice some. flatulation. Would you like to go on our. fart fart patio?" There's a patio just. for people that are farting, and they're. in full conversation as they're farting.

It's It's so dumb. >> Um, if you do need to flatulate, we have. a designated area. >> Wait. [laughter]. So dumb, dude. [laughter]. [gasps]. Dude, fart patio is brilliant. Wow. [laughter]. >> A little mustard seed. >> Apple for some reason. [laughter]. >> They are two of maybe the funniest. That.

show was so [ __ ] funny. It was like. ahead of its time. That is so good. >> We're. >> I love him. >> Armison. Oh, yeah. >> I think she's [ __ ] brilliant, too. I. mean, they're both geniuses. >> As a person. >> Oh, >> I don't know her. >> Famous guy. Drop. [laughter]. Oh, Fred and I I. >> Wait, wait, wait. [ __ ] off. >> I like him cuz I know him. >> No, that's not what it [laughter]. was. Was that Is that what I was doing? >> 100%. Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah.

>> What? I can't say. Oh, then how Let's do. a doover. >> Dude, this is so funny. >> Let's do a doover. >> I do it and he's like [snorts] he. doesn't use it. [laughter]. >> I did not do that. >> Oh, really? THERE THERE'S NOT A DIFFERENCE BETWEEN. FRED ARMISON, a comedian, right? that we. all know, right? >> Or a [ __ ] or um Taylor Swift. Different. [laughter]. >> Different. Yeah. >> I've never brought I don't bring it up. You bring it up. >> Yeah. >> And I love to bring it up.

>> You name drop it. [snorts]. [sighs and gasps]. >> I don't THINK SO. >> YEAH, YOU DO. [screaming]. >> I DON'T THINK SO. WAS THAT HONEST? Let's. Let's analyze. >> You [ __ ] name drop people. Yes, you. do. >> Aside from that, where have I been name. dropped? Ketus. Uh, you know, >> Michael Bay. >> You know who from the the meeting, the. men's meeting? >> Yeah, dude. You name drop all the time. Stop it. Stop it. >> So do you, though? >> No. [laughter]. >> Yeah, you do. >> No. Who? What do I do? You just name. drop when I tell you in private.

Somebody. >> told me a story. I don't want to bring. it up. >> Go ahead. Do it. >> No, I don't want to. >> Do it. >> Oh, I was at a restaurant and Baitman. was there with Jennifer Aniston and this. and that, right? You brought that story. up. >> on this show? >> No, not out loud, but to tell. I just. said I tell you in private and then you. bring it up on the show. [snorts]. >> I literally just said that. >> Yeah, but I'm just saying the act NO NO. NO NO. THE ACT OF name dropping is. something that you do. >> Okay, so time out. You name drop in. private way more than me [laughter]. >> when.

>> we just don't talk about it on the show. >> I DON'T NAME DROP at all, dude. >> Yes, you do. >> ALL RIGHT, SO LET'S. >> obsessed with celebrities. >> Oh god, Portlandia. I love that show. I. don't know, Fred. [laughter]. That's what you should have said. >> Is that what I should have said or. >> No, I just said he's a genius. And you. go he's a great guy. >> Yeah. >> Like I know him. He's a guy I know. >> We were saying how funny. >> Well, I did a movie with them like 6. months ago. >> Another drop. >> Mhm. >> Another drop. I did a movie 6 months. ago. I work. >> IS THAT OH, [ __ ] YOU, DUDE. IS THAT WHAT.

IT IS? >> YES, it is. >> You know what? I don't like that about. myself. I'm never going to do it again. >> What was the name of the movie? >> Is it out? >> Green Day's movie. >> Yeah. Oh, right. That's a huge one. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> No, there's a lot of people in that. >> Yeah. >> Like a ton of people are in this movie. >> Yeah. So, um. >> what's it called? >> New Year's Rev right now. >> When does it come out? >> I don't know. >> Well, they missed their opportunity. It's New Year's. >> Maybe next New Year's. [laughter]. Maybe next New Year's. But um. >> I see a lot of clips going viral by the. way um from our our good friend Logic's.

movie that you were in. >> Oh yeah. >> Like a lot of clips on the Have you seen. this on the internet? A lot of them are. being bounced around. Particularly the. conversations with him and his father. because his dad is a crazy character. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm barely in that. I. have no lines. >> Shout out Logic though. We love him. >> I have no lines in it. I love Logic. >> He's a great dude. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> I was on the I was on tour when you guys. were filming that thing. I wish I could. have come up there. >> Well, you know what happened was I um. >> Spokane. Where was it? >> I had a bigger role. I showed up. I had. [ __ ] co. >> Oh, that's right. >> Right. And they go, "You can't show up.

on set." I go, "What do I do?" They're. like, "Just stay." So, I stayed in this. hotel room for like 5 days. I remember. you were stuck. That's right. >> And then I was flying out and they're. like, "Can you just be this kind of. background guy since you're here?". >> Call Santino background guy right here. Background guy. >> So, I just kind of did it. But, you. know, I love Logic a lot. >> No, he's a great dude. >> Yeah. Yeah. He's a great dude. >> You got so much work lined up on the. horizon, Bob. I'm so proud. >> So, do you No, I don't. >> Well, you you decline work. [laughter].

>> Decline work? >> Yeah, you do. >> No, I don't. There's nothing comes my. way. Un. >> the stuff that I'm in is bad. I still do. it. >> You should read it first. >> I don't read it. >> If it's bad, don't do it. >> But it I just do tell you. How about. this? >> You think I read Karate Ghost? [laughter]. >> I got something big. >> They go karate ghost. Yeah, I'll do it. >> I got something big coming up and I want. to announce it and I'm very excited. about I'm going to brag right now, guys. Big time. >> Go ahead. >> Big time. >> Go ahead. >> Huge for me. >> Go on. >> It's January, end of the month. My best.

buddy's gonna be shooting a special at. the Balboa Theater. >> Okay. >> Four shows. >> Sold out. >> They're not sold out. >> Yeah, they are. They're all sold out. >> Are they sold out? >> Everything is sold out. Bobby Lee Live. sold out. Baloa Theater. Four shows. My. guy. They're all sold out. I looked. They're all sold out. >> Click on them. They're all sold out. How. amazing. >> Okay. >> Are you excited? >> Well, here's the thing. Okay. I'm trying. not to think about it. >> What do you mean you're not trying to. think about it? Cuz I have what I have,

right? What? Why you shaking your head? >> No, >> it's not sold out. >> Yes, it is. >> Look at those little blue spots, >> brother. That's gone. That'll be gone in. 2 days. Those are like reserve seats. It's sold out. >> Yeah, I I don't care about the back. either. Is Is the Wait, are the whites. the empty seats? >> Yeah. >> Oh, [ __ ]. >> No, dude. He's kidding. It's the other. way around. Get off of the ticket, master. >> Okay. Okay. >> No. Are [clears throat] the whites the. empty seats? >> Sold. Sold. >> Okay. Thank god. >> No, you're sold out. the [ __ ] god.

>> Are the whites the empty? [laughter]. >> Yeah. Yeah. And only the back row they. bought? What the [ __ ]. >> A a guy who's never bought a ticket in. his entire life. >> Oh, which ones are the ones I have? >> Yeah. It as Okay. Can I just say this. about the special event? >> Doesn't that drive you nuts, by the way, when somebody's in your seat when you. get to a place and you go, "Oh, those. are our seats." And they're like, they. are. And you're like, >> "Yeah, come on, man. Let's not do this. dance.". >> Yeah. >> And they're like, "Um, >> I don't I think let me see. Let me. look." And then they look and they go, "Oh, you're right. Oh, you're right.".

Yeah, we're. >> we're way the [ __ ] we're all the way up. there. Yeah. >> You're like, "You're [ __ ] What are. you doing? You knew you were [ __ ] I. know.". >> Just just I've sat in other people's. seats. I've done that before. >> Yeah. But when you do it, you get up, right? No. No. I've done it. >> for years. We go to Dodger games. We. would sneak all the way down. We used to. do that all the time. >> Yeah. >> And then when they come to go, you guys. are go, "You got it. You caught us." And. then get up and go. Yeah, >> but you don't do the thing where you. kill time and you go, "Oh, is this uh. you [ __ ] know? We sneak down." You. know, that's like a part of the game is,

you know, >> on TikTok, I saw a woman. She was a. little drunk and she go she sits in a. first class seat. She's in college. The. first class guy comes up and goes, "Hey, I think that's my seat." And she goes, "Well, I just paid a lot of money for my. ticket and I decided I'm going to sit. here.". >> What? That's got to be a sketch. >> Talk space. No, I I'm going to talk to. you right now about it. Right. Um I've. had a lot of trauma growing up and if I. held that in my body keeps the score.

>> Okay. >> Body keeps the score. >> Yeah. Yeah. And what I did was I did. some EMDR through um Talkspace and um. I'm relieved. I'm lighter. Talkspace is. the number one rated online therapy. bringing you professional support from. licensed therapists and psychiatrists. that you can access anytime, anywhere. >> Anytime and anywhere. Take control of. your mental health. Okay? Better mental. health leads to better health overall. I'm telling you, we're big proponents on. this show of getting yourself some. therapy and speaking to someone about. whatever it may be. Could be big, could. be small, could be nothing at all. But.

Talkspace is here to talk to you. They. make uh getting the help you need easy, accessible, and affordable. Plus, most. insured members have a Z co-pay. >> Uh let us tell you a little bit more why. we like it. Why do we like it? Because I. tell you what, >> it's easy. >> It's simple. You can anywhere in your. house. >> Exactly. >> Yeah. Yeah. And as a listener of this. podcast, you're going to get $80 off. your first month with TalkSpace when you. go to talkspace.com/word. and enter the promo code space 80. >> That's space 80. S P A C80 to match with. a licensed therapist today. Go to. talkspace.com/word.

and enter promo code space 80. >> Shopify. Ladies and gentlemen, boys and. girls, whoever is listening, we use. Shopify for our products because we only. use the best here at Bad French. channel. the fresh start energy of the new year. and finally launch your business with. Shopify. 2026 is the year that you're. going to rewrite your story, uh, own. your future, and make your. entrepreneurial dreams come true. You. can start your business with Shopify in. 2026 and become who you are meant to be. >> Millions of entrepreneurs have already. made this leap from household names to.

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using Shopify if you have a business. Start a business or keep it growing with. Shopify in 2026. Stop waiting and start. selling with Shopify. Sign up for your. $1 per month trial and start selling. today at shopify.com/badfriends. >> Go to shopify.com/badfriends. >> That's shopify.com/bad. >> friends. >> Here your first this new year with. Shopify by your side. >> But no, but the video that I saw was a. white lady. She was a little drunk and. she's just like, "What would you do. >> if if she was in my seat?". >> Yeah.

>> I'd be like, "Oh, ma'am, I think you're. in my seat." But what she gave you're. the drunk white lady. >> I So I'm sorry, but you know I paid for. C2. >> Okay. >> And I just kind I sat here first. >> Oh, you sat there first? >> Yeah, I got on first and you were a. little late. So I'm I'm just going to. sit here and you can sit in wherever I'm. sitting and. >> No. Okay. So here's the deal. Yeah. That's my seat I paid for. So I'd like. to Oh, you don't want to move? >> I don't think I'm going to because I. can't here first. >> Oh, you got here first? Yeah. Are you a. little intoxicated, ma'am? >> Yeah. I've drank some brandy.

>> Well, how about this? You go to the back. of the plane to your seat where you. belong and I'll I'll give you drinks the. whole flight. >> I'm I'm not moving. >> I'll give you drinks all flight. >> Hey, Red. Can I call you Red? >> Please. >> You [ __ ] freak. >> Whoa. >> You're redheaded freak of nature. >> Listen here, Connie Chung. >> Are you racist? >> Yeah. >> Okay. [laughter] Okay. >> Okay. Okay. >> Listen you. What army is going to remove. me from my seat? [laughter]. >> Ice. >> The red army. Ice Army. I'm not.

>> They did eventually kick her out. >> You got to It's [ __ ] insane. >> But I But here's what I don't get, though. >> It It was a white lady. >> Okay. >> Right. It could be other races. >> You better not attack the whites. >> I know. What I'm saying is there was an. entitlement in the video, which bothered. me. >> that white women all are entitled. >> No, I'm not saying that. I just She just. happened to be. But but but when it's. mixed with white, >> it's a little bit more bothersome to me. >> Right. No, actually if it was any other race,

it would be bothered. [laughter] I think. >> you would find a thing to be bothered by. it no matter what. >> Yeah, I think that's how Yeah. Yeah. But. I just wanted to like couch your eyes. out. >> She's like, I'm not going to move. >> Yeah. I'm not moving. It's like I bought. a coach seat. Go back. >> You know what I mean? >> Or well or go, hey, you can have it. Just pay me the difference in the fair. >> Oh, that's Yeah, that's. >> And I'll go sit in my seat. Just give me. the cash if you got it. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> I'll go do that. >> You would do that? I don't think so. >> If they had the cash? No. >> Be a fun story to Yeah. You're you're. flying to Australia.

[laughter]. >> I mean, >> yeah. Yeah. >> Insane. >> Insane. >> I don't even know I could I could do. that flight again. >> Like I love it down there. That's so It. was so long. It was like. >> It's so long. >> You feel like you wasted a part of your. life. >> Like when you land you're like I think. I'm much older now. >> We were on a flight together and you. both first class. I never saw you the. whole time. >> Yeah. It's 15 hours. >> Yeah. 15. We never even saw each other. the whole time. >> Oh. Cuz it's exhausting. >> And then Burr was on the flight, right? Oh yeah, Bill was on. >> Yeah. Yeah. On a flight. And then it's.

like. >> I saw him one time he was going to the. bathroom and I I saw him get up go to. the bathroom so I can say hi. >> You got up to say hi? >> Yeah. I didn't have to pee or anything. I just like I'm going to wait in line of. the bathroom. When he gets up he. [laughter]. >> Well, I want to say hi. >> That sounds so creepy. >> I didn't have to pee. I just wanted to. say hi. >> because I knew that what was going to. happen is the plane's going to like cuz. he was in front of me, right? That he. was going to I know he gets an escort. Yeah. >> A group of people go come like this way. You know what I mean? >> It is funny how he does. We We don't We.

would never get. >> We don't have an escort. >> Carlos gets escorts. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Different. kinds. >> Yeah. Yeah. But um so I waited. He got. out and then I said, "Oh, I was. surprised too.". >> Bill, >> I go, "Bill, what's going on?". >> So nerdy. >> Hey buddy, what's going on? You know. what I mean? This and that. You know. what I mean? But I purposely did that. You've never done [clears throat] that. >> to say hi to Bill? No, just in general. like got up put Okay, >> but I can't but I can't believe I. haven't shared this story. >> Tell me.

>> You want the biggest name drop of all? >> Tell me. >> I think I told you. Child in the middle. >> I got to meet somebody for 5 seconds. >> I know who it is. >> I told you, didn't I? >> I know. I knew it was about to happen. You never told me that you actually did. it. >> I did it. I met President Obama. >> That's amazing. >> Wow. >> It was [ __ ] insane. My buddy who's. friends with him was like, "Hey man, when are you back in town from Vegas?". And I was like, "Oh, Monday night." He's. like, "Do you think you can come see me.

on Tuesday?" I was like, "Well," he's. like, "I'm playing golf with Obama." And. I was like, "No." He's like, "I swear to. God." And I was like, "Well, what. I mean, what am I going to do? Like, say. hi." And he's like, "Yeah, if you'd. like, I'll introduce you." So, I go over. there. >> Are you wearing a golf uniform? >> No, I'm [clears throat] just dressed. nice. >> Okay. because I'm not playing or. nothing, but I go over there to say I go. over there to say hi and they're done. and I'm kind of like hanging around and. this was like a moment in time that blew. my mind. He was like walking around the.

Secret Service. They're done. They're. about to leave and he, you know, like. Secret Service is everywhere. It's. crazy. And my buddy sees me, makes eye. contact because I told him, I said, "Dude, if it's not a thing, don't I. don't need to I don't want to bother.". >> You don't want to force the situation. >> [ __ ] no. And I don't want to make him be. like, "What. gives a [ __ ] about you?". >> Who gives a [ __ ] Yeah. Yeah. And then. he looked at me, made eye contact, and. he went like this. And then I'm not. kidding, dude. >> Well, your friend did that. >> Yeah, he saw me. >> I thought Barack did that. >> No, [laughter]. Dave. >> No, >> I seen him on Dave.

>> Your your mind is going to be blown. >> Go ahead. >> Because he [ __ ] he goes like this and. he like ushers him to me, which was like. I was almost laughing. He's like. ushering him towards me like around. people like people are kind of waiting. quietly and he goes, "I would like to. introduce you to a buddy of mine, Andrew. Santino, comedian, [snorts] Chicago, Illinois." And I said, "Uh, I loaded. this up." I said, "Mr. President, it's. an honor to meet you." And he goes, "I. know who this guy is." And I was like, "Get the [ __ ] out of here." He literally.

goes, "I know who this guy is.". >> Now, how does my Fred Armerson story. [laughter]. Can we [ __ ] compare to [laughter]. that, DUDE? ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND? [ __ ] OFF. [laughter]. >> It was so good. Oh. >> Oh my god. >> We chatted about Chicago for 5 seconds. and I said, "It's an absolute pleasure. and honor to meet you and I don't want.

to waste any any more of your time.". >> You said that? >> Yeah. >> Oh my god. I said it's an pleasure and. an honor to meet you and don't want to. waste anything. >> And now were you nervous? >> No, cuz it was kind of like he was his. he's extremely disarming. >> He's so like even though he is, you. know, this figure. >> he's a historical figure. >> No, but I'm saying he's so cool. >> It's like meeting John Adams or or you. know what I mean? Or like you Paul River. or whatever. [laughter]. >> I met Paul Rivere. Like who could say. that? You know what I mean? >> It's like meeting Obama. >> He was so fast on the horse. You know.

what I mean? I barely met him. [laughter]. There he goes. Bye, Paul. >> I met the horse. >> I met the horse. [laughter]. >> What? >> Just meet the horse. >> Yeah. Yeah. Just meet the horse. Yeah. Yeah. >> No, he he he was very cool. Just his. vibe. He was cool. He was very nice. He. wasn't like uh it didn't feel heavy. >> I mean, it's like the difference. >> Yeah. >> You know what I mean? Of caliber. >> Well, we're not friends. I just got to. say hello to the man. >> I know, but the situations that you're. in are so much different than situation. You know what I mean? I would like. trolls and stuff. That's who I'm. >> Well, if you weren't such a [ __ ].

recluse. Maybe. >> if you got up, get out and did. something, you'd meet people. >> Okay. >> But anyway, so Wow. And then you shook. his hand. >> Yeah. [snorts]. >> Soft. >> Uh, he dapped me up. >> Oh, [ __ ] dude. That's the real [ __ ]. >> That's [laughter]. >> right. Is that the real [ __ ] That's the. good stuff. >> What's up? >> But you have to be introduced. >> What? >> If you're pumped, >> if you're introduced to by another by a. black person, >> all your friend was black. [laughter].

Oh, did you assume he was white? >> Yeah. >> No. >> Is it someone that we know? Something. that I know, too? >> You definitely don't know this guy. Okay. Is this because you don't have any. black friends? Is that what this is? >> I have black friends. >> All white in your mind. [laughter]. >> The guy who you called him like Dani. Jones. You didn't even know his name. >> You were like, Jani Jones. I was like, what [laughter] the [ __ ]. >> All right. Anyway, [laughter] wow. That's a really that's a life experience. that you know.

>> it was honestly it was a it was a moment. in my day where I was like this is maybe. >> it's incredible. >> Yeah. Congratulations. >> 4 seconds of time and I literally said I. don't want to waste any more time. Yeah. >> And he was like oh man we got to go. It's all it's all good. But he chatted. about Chicago for a hot second. >> I mean I I had RFK Jr. on Tiger Belly. That's the the farthest I think I'll. ever go politically. >> It's a pleasure to meet you. >> Yeah. That's what it was. But u. >> No, it was incredible moment in my life. Wow. It honestly it was like one of. those things. I was [ __ ] awesome. Just got to all I want to do was say hi.

to the guy like, "Hey, man.". >> Wow. >> It was cool. >> Yeah. And then when you on the drive. home, >> what were you thinking? >> I called Well, I called my parents. >> Yeah. >> It's [ __ ] It was cool. It was a cool. moment in time. It was one of those. >> Congratulations. Yeah. Stays with me. >> It's huge. >> And you know what the best part was? >> Yeah. No photo. >> That's so funny. You knew what I was. gonna say. It was great because some. people were kind of trying to maybe get. a picture. >> Yeah. >> And I was like, he's not going to like.

that. >> So, they shut it down. Like, good. >> Not him, but other people were like, "No, no, no, no, no. Don't don't do No, no, >> yeah. >> Enjoy the moment. He doesn't like. >> He gets pictures probably up the kazoo.". >> Well, think about this. People take. photos of him everywhere he is. >> Yeah. >> So, you know how many times in public. you see someone like. >> Yeah. >> How many people do that all day? >> Yeah. >> So, like Enjoy the moment. >> It's a memory. >> I was nervous at the very beginning and. then he disarms you. You know what it. made me feel like?

>> You know when you're like when someone's. like someone go you get nervous before. you go on stage and you go well I'm. anxious. I'm not like nervous. I'm just. like excited and I kind of get like like. I want to jump out of my [ __ ] skin. Sure. >> And the moment you get on and say. something. >> it's like gone. >> You know what I mean? Like the anxiety. like is gone when you start doing the. job that we do. It felt the same way. Mhm. >> And then he got to me and it was like, this is going to sound corny, but you do. get why some people [ __ ] get that. kind of status. You talk to a guy for 5. seconds, you're like, I get it. This. guy's [ __ ]. >> Oh, yeah. >> He's got all the pieces.

>> You're born with it. >> He's got all the pieces. It figured it. out. >> You got to have the pieces. >> By the way, I I bet you'd feel that way. about any president you'd ever meet. >> There's a reason. >> Yeah, dude. It's to get there is crazy. >> To get there is crazy. That's the prime. level in terms of politics. Any. president you would meet, you'd go, "Oh, this is [ __ ] Except for Ford.". >> Yeah. Yeah. [laughter]. >> [ __ ] dude. Get [ __ ] nerd. >> Yeah. >> No. No. You would. You'd feel the same. way about anybody. >> Wow. >> Yeah. It was wild. I thought I told you. >> No, I knew you called.

>> I told told you I was going to maybe. >> No, you were on your way to go, >> right? I was telling you I was going. >> Yeah. You're not going to believe where. I'm going. >> But I did say to you I did say I bet I. won't get to meet him. Yeah. But then I. said to you, "Make sure you call me. after you do it." And you never did. >> I called my I CALLED EVERYBODY ELSE. >> YEAH, I KNOW. BUT YEAH, BUT I'M THE ONE. THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN LIKE, "WOW.". >> Why do you think I held it. >> for this? >> Yeah, for the show. >> Okay. >> Wow. I knew you were going. >> He goes, "Uh, I remember." He goes, "Hey, where's Bobby?". >> No, he never.

>> How [ __ ] amazing. If Dude, Also, when he said I know this guy, I. thought I got this. He's definitely got. to be plugged into the internet world. His kid's a director. His daughter is a. director, right? >> Aren't they both in the business? >> Yeah. Yeah. Malia is Yeah. >> A director. >> Yeah, dude. They're plugged in. >> Well, I just did a show that they. produced. >> Yeah, they're plugged in, man. They know. what's I mean, he was Yeah, he knows. >> And I I literally thought, you know what. I mean? When I got the offer for the. show, they go, "The Obamas are producing.

it." And I go, >> "I'm in. I'm doing it. It's an offer.". They go, "Yeah." and and I show up out. in the [ __ ] nowhere land and thinking. that they're going to be there. They're. going [laughter] to be there. >> It'd be cool if they did. >> I know, but they're not going to be. there. I just showed up. It was just. like a regular shoot with regular. people. >> Oh my god. Gifts. Gifts. Gifts. Gifts. Gifts. Gifts. Jingo. >> Whoa. >> Oh, dude. So, what is it? This is what. they were talking about. >> Yeah, it works. Just Wi-Fi anywhere.

>> You know what the best part about this. is? We bought these. >> No, you didn't. I promise. >> Who paid for these? >> We got it an amount and it's not going. to come from y'all. So, no way. >> We didn't buy this. >> Promise. No. No. We made sure that you. didn't. >> Who paid for it? >> 7X. >> Oh, >> yeah. >> Heck did. And so we paid for it. >> We paid for it. [laughter]. >> You Yeah, >> we paid for these. >> No, I'm kidding. This is so. >> This is a great gift. >> This is very nice. >> I don't know how to Do I just put my.

PlayStation? >> It's really easy. It's like setting up. an iPad. You know, I'm I'm nervous about. this. >> What? >> About using these now. >> Why? >> Did you see that clip about um. about uh Kamla and wired headphones? >> Mm-. >> Oh, this is going to [ __ ] you up. >> Thank you so much. This is great, >> guys. This is so nice. >> And you can play any PlayStation game. It's got the same effects. And. >> this is very cool, you guys. Thank you.

so very much. >> It's really good. Click on Yeah, click. on this. Listen to this clip. So, she. got a lot of [ __ ] for like wearing these. wired headphones. >> Don't be on the train using your earpods. and thinking somebody can't listen to. your conversation. I'm just telling you. that's a little bit more secure. [laughter]. >> She's laughing, but she's very serious. That's the creepiest part about that. She's like, I served on the intelligence. committee. >> I've literally never heard anyone's. music through a [ __ ] AirPod. >> No, she's saying people can tap in and.

listen to your conversation. How? >> Well, because it's W. This is Bluetooth. >> What are they? Mag Who are they? >> Professor X from X-Men. I mean, like, how do you do it? >> Professor X is down in the [laughter]. >> He does live in the subway. And you know. why he lives down there? >> It's not ADA compliant. >> Okay. Anyway, >> he can't get back up. [laughter]. >> You don't want them there. >> Unless you go down. >> You don't want those then? >> No, I do, man. I'm just having fun on. the show. [laughter]. >> Just having fun on the show. >> I thought you were being serious. >> No, dude. >> Yeah, cuz if you don't want them, I'll. take them. >> Just making a bit for the show.

>> Okay. Okay. Good bit. >> Yeah. Thanks for killing it. >> Yeah. Yeah. I destroyed it. >> No, it's okay. >> Yeah. Yeah. I'm sorry. >> No, no, no. >> Yeah. Good top stuff. >> You got any New Year's resolutions? This. is the thing that people, you know, people hate it, but we all pretend to do. it a little bit. >> Well, I'm not um I don't know, man. I. don't think I do. >> You don't want to change anything? >> Not really. No. >> I I think I'm pretty good. I'm on a good. path here. >> That's great. >> Yeah. You have any? >> Oh, yeah.

>> Give me one. >> I hope to find the cure for cancer by. March. >> Um, it's [ __ ] [laughter and snorts]. >> Did you say that's [ __ ]. >> Real. I wasn't. >> I know, but then I can make [ __ ] up. >> Okay, then do it. >> That's what this whole show is, is. making stuff up. It's kind of what we're. doing here, Dennis. >> Yeah. Okay. >> It's kind of what we're doing here, Dennis. >> Yeah. Um, I'm going to make short. stilts. >> [snorts and laughter]. >> See? Funny. >> Is that funny?

>> Funny. >> Yeah. I think they're They're too long. [laughter]. >> You know what I mean? When you see them, they're too long. Yeah. I mean, have. them be two feet off the ground. >> They are too long. >> Yeah, they're stilts are too long. >> Have you ever seen painter stilts? Yeah, those those are tiny. >> They have them already, Bob. >> They have what? Short stilts. >> Yeah, they're there. Yeah, paint. >> No, no, no. I'm talking about the way. you know. Oh, that that Oh, they are. short. [ __ ] [laughter]. Um, >> man, your ideas are just getting taken. >> They're taken. All right. Um,

>> what is she doing? [laughter] Like, oh, they have just a child on stilts for no. reason. And by the way, the mom was. like, I know you hate it. Just take the. photo. [laughter]. >> I'm going to do mayonnaise flavored. yogurt. >> They got it. >> I don't think they do. >> They have it. >> Yo. >> [ __ ] [laughter] Yo, they already have. it. >> God, everything has been on Shark Tank. already. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> Okay. Think let's think of something. else. Let's create something here. Let. me You got it. >> I got it. >> Yeah. >> Uh we're going to manufacture. We're.

going to let's do make a shoe company. and we only sell left shoes. No rights. >> Oh, that's good. >> And it's called no rights. You have no. rights. [laughter]. >> You have no rights. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> And all the pros right. >> Yeah. That's good. This is good. See if. I have that. >> No rights. Only left shoes. Just this. guy selling his shoes. That's already. He's already doing it, dude. >> No, he's just [laughter] selling. >> All right. >> Now, there's a website for just one. >> one foot. Oh, for people with just one. foot. >> Yeah.

>> Yeah. There we go. They already have it. [laughter]. >> See, though, you can't come up with. anything. All right. How about that? Shark, >> by the way. Yeah. >> That is so incredible. Cuz somebody at. one point was like, I ONLY NEED ONE. [laughter]. >> YEAH. YEAH. >> Just give me one. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> I DON'T HAVE A MY LEFT FOOT. >> YEAH. >> They call me loopy. I used to dance in. circles. [laughter]. >> Shark Shark skinned co mask. >> Oh, shark skin co mask. I guarantee you. that. >> There's no way they got that. >> Shark skin co mask. >> They got that. >> right here. [laughter].

>> That's the whole shark head. I'm. >> at Etsy Canada. They have. >> I got to tell you, Sharkhead is way. cooler. >> Yeah. You come up with another one. >> Wait, wait. Go to all and see if they. really sell it. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> Shark skin co mask. No, we could be. good. >> I think we're good with that. >> I think. >> I don't know it's gonna give it good. protection, [laughter]. >> you know, >> but still. >> Still. Yeah. Yeah. Um, >> uh, >> half a hula hoop. >> A hula. >> A hula. >> Just a hula hoop. >> Hoola, half a hoop. >> Hula, half hoop. Hula, half the hoop. >> Half a hoop.

>> Half a hoop. >> Yeah, >> like skip it. Remember? Skip it. >> Yeah. I don't think it exists. >> No, there's. >> I think we got it. It wouldn't work. though. That's the only problem. >> Somebody would find a way. >> You need the second half of the hoop for. >> Somebody would find a way. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> Where there's a will, there's a way. Uhhuh. >> Oh, look at this. Go back to that photo. Look at that. It's so. >> Martin Luther King. >> Yeah. >> I have a dream. >> Yeah. >> One day my brothers and sisters will be. hula hooping in the park. >> Zoom. Yeah. Zoom into that photo. [laughter]. >> What do you think that black kid's.

thinking? >> I can't wait to steal her hula hoop. [laughter]. >> Yeah, that's what he's doing. That's. what he's doing. >> He's looking at the camera. He's like, "Damn, they got me.". >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> I was just about to steal that bitch's. hula hoop. >> Yeah. [laughter]. >> Yeah. Yeah, he doesn't want [laughter]. to. >> Look at Zoom in. He's looking right at. the camera. >> Yeah, >> he's looking [ __ ] they got me. >> Or he's thinking the [ __ ] I like. wouldn't use a hula hoop. They're too. fat. [laughter].

>> That's what he's thinking. >> He's like an eight-year-old boy. [laughter]. >> Mama, why you got me? >> Yeah. Yeah. I've never seen a black guy. hula hoop. >> Can black guys hul He's googling. I knew. he was going to Google it. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> Black guy hula hoop video. >> Yeah. >> Okay. >> Oh, they they do. They do. >> They do. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> Uh oh. Let's see it. >> Yeah. >> Whoa. >> Wow. [laughter]. >> Oh, cuz there's dancing involved.

>> Oh, wow. That's why that's Yeah. Yeah. There has to be dancing. [laughter]. >> Black guys won't hula hoop. Unless. there's dancing, baby. >> Yeah. >> That's cool, though. He can dance with. it. That's incredible. >> That's so funny. >> That's so good. [laughter]. Whoa, dude. Yeah. >> Hey. Hey. >> Hey. Yeah. Yeah. >> Darnell, I heard your your cousin hula. hoops. Oh, but he be dancing hula. hooping. [laughter]. He hula dancing in that mother. Oh, get. it, boy. Oh, get it. By [laughter] the. way, of course, a black guy would make.

this look cool. >> Yeah, they look cool. >> It's unbelievable. Do a white guy. [ __ ] hula hoop it. Go to white guy. hula hooping and watch how insane a. regular adult looks when they hula hoop. >> Yeah, white guys got to be working out. while he's hula hooping. >> Yeah, there we go. [laughter]. >> Oh yeah. [ __ ] yeah, dude. >> Yeah. Oh yeah, >> that is pretty cool though. That is. pretty cool. >> I don't know. >> Yeah. [laughter] I've never seen a black. guy hopscotching. >> Black guys hopscotch. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> Well, they do when they're kids. >> No, as an adult. >> Adults don't hopcotch. >> Oh, hopscotch all day. >> You be hopcotching? >> Yeah, I be hoping all day, dude. Was.

okay. >> I hope everybody's having an amazing new. year so far. Uh we love you. We're. excited to see where this year goes. >> What a great episode. >> Okay. [laughter]. So, >> what a good time. >> Good chemistry, you know what I mean? Back and forth. You mean. >> cruising. >> cruise machine and and you know I mean. what's hut hut? We learned all that. >> Straight up. >> Straight up. You know what I mean? >> I hope everyone's having a great new. year. >> I want everyone to do that. >> And most importantly,

>> yeah, >> thank you for being for being a bad. friend. Woo! Yeah! Woo!