How The Bobo Ruined Christmas! | Ep 45 | Bad Friends

[Music]. hi. boys and girls. [Music]. it's time for a christmas tale. how the bubble ruined christmas. [Music]. it was the day before christmas right.

here in l.a. the people delighted it's in the wrong. way. faces we're smiling stop stop it this is. terry andres they're never going to. understand you. you're you're too fancy be scoot over. scoot over move fine. move. [Music]. it was the day before christmas right. here in l.a. the people delighted each in their own. way. faces were smiling and joy filled the. air excited for gifts. that they ordered this year the people.

in town were filled with glee. all except one who could it be. in the hills of hollywood tucked just. behind the sign. stood a mountain of boogers a stockpile. of slime. a top booger mountain overlooking la. lived a mean yellow creature in his. gross booger cave. grumpy and cranky from gaming all night. he peered down on the city. he hated the sight he was so sick of. christmas.

so tired of it for 49 years he dealt. with this [ __ ]. the festivities the songs they're all. just so lame. it's that jerk santo he was to blame. he must ruin christmas he thought to. himself he must ruin christmas. but how bobo how he then had an idea. so vile and so mean he'd give this crap. town something. special indeed quickly he jumped in his. ramshackled van. he raced down to the city with a.

horrible plan. [Music]. at every house pad and condo on each and. every floor. the bobo white boogers on gifts at their. doors. when the town folks checked on their. presents that night they were greeted. with the disgustingly horrible sight. quickly they opened their santo claus. app to leave their reviews crap crap. crap crap crap back on the north side at. the christmas workshop. santos business was booming and growing.

non-stop. his orders were filled and delivered on. time suck on it bezos. this holiday is mine with peace of mind. without disconcert. suddenly his phone rang out red alert. red alert. christmas spirit was plummeting as fast. as it could someone in hollywood was. up to no good santo was enraged. how could this happen quickly he. dispatched his red elf assassin. rudolph the red blade boarded a plane. she flew to los angeles to investigate.

down hollywood boulevard and all over. town disgusting green boogers. were left all around rudolph the ninja. left through the streets searching for. traces of the boogery fiend. she found where he lurked yet he was not. there in the distance she could see. the bobo's green layer of course booger. mountain. overlooking la where the mean bobo lives. in his gross booger cave.

rudolph the ninja snuck in with stealth. where bobo was playing. video games all by himself she snuck. and she slung and she crept up behind. placed her blade to his throat. grabbed her phone and she dialed. facetime connected. and santos saw clear the bobo was done. for. his life will end here wait santo cried. out to stop rudy's blade. he knew something was wrong just look at. bobo's face. with tears in bobo's eyes santo could.

see. he wasn't mean at all he was sad and. lonely. santo's temper and rage was calmed and. subdued it was a miraculous thing. his tender heart grew. release him said santo this bobo's just. sad. instead we'll give him the best. christmas he's ever had. the bubble replied if i could have just. one wish i've always wanted a friend to. play my games with. so upon christmas morning to bobo's.

delight. santos stopped by the booger cave for a. video game fight. the bobo was happy but santo was a noob. gaming was not something santo could do. round one fight. [Music]. you win perfect perfect perfect. round after round it was much of the. same santro got his ass. whooped game after game santo had had.

enough. his temper irate this brutal assault he. could no longer take. that's it you scumbag santo screamed out. the bobo just laughed with a hollering. shout. santo's heart shrank down to its regular. size with a snap of his fingers. the bobo met his demise rudel's red. blade. splashed down with such might merry. christmas you bastards. and to all a bad night. you two are bad friends you are these.

two idiots. a white dude you two. are disgusting. [Music]. bobby must move for a mistrial now that. trial was an abomination. and proved everything wrong with the. judicial process in this country bobby. must move for a mistrial. and demand a proper trial trial the main. witness in the case. is a presiding judge here the judge.

happens to be a material witness. and cannot testify unless she recuses. herself as a presiding judge. over this matter if not bubba's motion. for a mistrial is deemed granted a new. trial. must be conducted merry christmas. i mean for a week i've been thinking. about this. you've been thinking about how the case. yeah. anyway i already lost and i paid i'm. sorry. i'm sorry thank you oh but i i want to.

say this before we even start. no we already started cause we got that. i'm sorry on there. i'm sorry but um case in point though. you know i showed up here right on time. and i had to wait you shut up you should. actually showed up five minutes early. exactly but it's now 8 00. yeah and we started two minutes ago when. you started reading that long thing. a minute ago no we literally started. when you started reading it. [Laughter]. one minute oh.

[Music]. can i just say something about your. outfit though yeah well i'm rudolph the. red. reindeer the thing is is that um what i. don't get about rudolph. can i just ask what i don't know much. about 100 percent i'll tell you. everything you need to know thank you so. much so um. um so rudolph was being teased where he. was teased and bullied about. having arrested this red nose right and. so at night probably rudolph.

went to sleep crying a lot yeah right he. probably couldn't sleep well because. every time he'd close his eyes. the bright shine of the nose probably. woke him up right. right imagine that yeah you're trying to. go to sleep and then also you just see. this red. glow in your face all right terrible. that's yeah that's how it is in my house. and my wife. he would wake up and all the other. [ __ ] reindeer would be like you. [ __ ] freak. yeah look at your nose you freak and. they probably [ __ ]. do what like dogs do with a [ __ ] uh. you know they pissed like this. on his [ __ ] face yep and then one day.

it's really snowy out. right the blizzard or some [ __ ] santa. santa is uh. he's like scared yeah how am i gonna. navigate. and then he realizes the freak yeah he's. right. yeah because a rudolph the freak. you're your head and rudolph why. right right because if your freak knows. right. right and rule goes okay and he doesn't. and then all of a sudden everyone likes. him and he's cool yeah.

that's [ __ ] a [ __ ] story what. they don't tell you is what the next day. they still went back to beating the [ __ ]. out i know that they bullied him again. that's what i always think that they. bullied him afterwards of course they. did. yeah yeah he got his little moment in. the sun yeah but then after that it was. like that's it let's beat the [ __ ] out. of him. because i don't know if you know but um. donner and vixen. before they were in a gang it sounds. like it yeah donner and vixen were in a. game. yeah yeah yeah they were crips they. probably had tattoos on their bellies. they were crips. little little underbellies yeah they.

were crips and they hated that he was a. blood. rudolph was a blood you know he was a. blood from south that's. what freak what's the only what's what's. your least favorite of all of these. songs or limericks. and i was just in hawaii and i was at an. abc store you want an abc store yes i do. they're like they're 7-elevens. same thing much better yeah they're well. they're cleaner they're a little bit. higher end than our 7-eleven i think. it's more like um.

what would we call it it's like between. cvs and and. it's like an upgraded you know how they. started upgrading star boxes. yeah it's like it's kind of like it's. like a high-end high-end seven eleven. seven eleven yeah it's a 911 so i was. there. at 7-eleven or their abc store yeah. and this is like in the beginning of. december yeah and. they started playing mute christmas. music which is always bizarre in hawaii. yeah well it feels like here too when. you hear it here you're like. then they start singing this song. let's get it yeah frosty.

the snow oh man right and immediately in. my head. frosty hates hawaii you can't stand it. he would die. instantly instantaneously he'd get off. the plane. it would be a puddle it'd be frosty the. puddle just his nose and his eyes. he would be just be dead he hates hawaii. who likes hawaii that's in the. but no none of them none of them yeah. santa claus. hates hawaii do you think he's over half. the pacific ocean.

for 30 kids how many kids are in hawaii. yeah. 40 tops maybe right imagine imagine. santa claus right. he thinks it's his last house in. cleveland right right all right. five in the morning right he just drops. it off and then elf calls him. yeah that's fast and sadness is like. yo yo what i'm almost done hawaii oh. [ __ ] he's gonna get in it he probably. doesn't have the presents. right he has to get to look around what. are they like coconuts.

uh coffee here you go kids. santa claus hates hawaii hates him yeah. does that does it like southern. california. no it doesn't well it's in the it's in. the mainland. i guess it's easier it's simpler to get. it's easier to get easier for him to do. it. do you think santa judges the people he. goes i don't really give better gifts. because of this area i don't like this. area. he probably is yeah that's right. probably like he sees he sees when he. goes i don't like. he goes he looks he goes albuquerque. yeah. i don't know rudy what's the best gift.

you ever got for krimas. um i don't know. shoes shoes that's the best that you've. got i gave you shoes. on the show i gave you shoes [ __ ]. [ __ ] what she's saying. and the kind of [ __ ] garbage that. comes out of this ungrateful lady's. [ __ ] mouth well hold on. i gave you shoes show your shoes right. now because i know what's going on lift. your feet up to the camera. because you have one of ours on that i.

got you the sandals i got you. i'm wearing two different yeah why i. forg. i didn't see what. what do you mean you didn't see because. little bobby was yelling at me to go. because you were late again were you. late again no because dude is this. because of her yeah no i'm saying she. was like. it sounds like that's the truth that. really is no genuinely so i'm. yelling at her right yeah let's go i. don't want another trial.

i say right you don't want to know right. yeah and she's like but i'm sleeping or. whatever she's doing right. and she she's not wearing the right. shoes or her eye is the sleep in her. eyes i mean it's. it's a [ __ ] you know but what you. said there shoes is the best thing. you've gotten. that's the best thing didn't i give you. a [ __ ]. ipad you got an ipad oh but. you didn't give that it was like a game. and then i picked. the ipad but i bought the ipad right. yeah. and you picked it out of the [ __ ]. thing right so so.

so he gave you an ipad yeah so that's. wait no. so shoes are better than. an ipad no i forgot about that did i. ever. let me ask you let me ask you this you. [ __ ] little one did i ever buy you a. computer. oh yeah oh my god you got an ipad and a. computer which also is a computer. yeah but i bought them both i bought you. a computer no yeah what kind. a couple of thousand dollar computer uh. macbook pro.

wow yeah do you know anybody else. macbook yours. you know i didn't get a macbook pro. until i was in my 30s. yeah she has no idea is it an ipad pro. no it's a mini ipad oh those are cool. yes i got a mini ipad and i also got a. a a computer did i get it for you for. christmas or your birthday. the computer yeah no it was the first. time i got here. and then you gave it to me because i was. taking care of julio. yes so basically i gave you a [ __ ]. computer.

just for funsies for fantasies you know. you got a funsies computer yeah yeah. and yet okay i get it wow yeah and. you're grateful. and so i said what's your best favorite. gift and you said. shoes right it says a lot it says so. much to it it breaks my heart. what's your favorite gift that you've. ever gotten oh i've gotten some good. ones. um or what's your favorite not really. that funny but what have you given that. that you love. i i give what i don't give what they. desire i give what the most expensive.

thing is. like what do you give your mom like i. got my mom a house. yeah that's amazing. i got her house you bought her a house. in arizona yeah her house is yeah it's. your house. yeah i paid the mortgage well when she's. a merry christmas here's the mortgage. when she dies it's your house again yeah. so you have two houses. i actually have one how many houses do. you have bob i own a. apartment complex too where in marina. del rey area. do you really yup i don't want to talk.

about it we're talking about it what. happened you're under your right eye. there's a cut what is that from. let's talk about it it's a sad story. well i'd love to hear it. it's not exciting it's not podcast. fodder. hey make it up oh. a tarantula a tarantula yeah. we tried to have sex with your friends. it's not ours it was there before ours. and.

we didn't know oh really we didn't know. there was a tarantula farm downstairs. underneath the house i mean what what. really happened okay so. um you know that we're fostering animals. yes a puppy yeah her name was sora. and when sora sees me she gets so. excited that what does she do when she. sees me. she pees she pees cuddling yes she loves. it. yeah yeah yeah she doesn't pee really. when she sees the other ones. only me yeah which means i'm a beast. master.

i pee sometimes when i see you i know. you do i get excited here yeah no i. get excited i go bubbles here. so um i went in you know sora. stays in juliana's room and um i. come i visit every once in a while yeah. and i came in and she went wild. and i laid down on my back and she did. that to my face. oh she called at you she bit it oh she. that's her mouth she was biting and then. one of her teeth. scraped it like that yeah yeah and it. was bleeding pretty bad. but i forgave her what do you do do you.

discipline or no yeah i just gave her. one. right back yeah you bite her back no. there's a stark scar right. on sora's face like this you bite them. back i did it with a nail i just like. it so it's precise but today um we did. something very sad we gave sora home so. we went to a house and there was a white. couple. apparently one of them works at netflix. and they're um oh oh [ __ ] are you okay. what was that. i don't know something came up wait so.

the white white folks and they took. they were on the lawn we showed up. you know i mean to make it seem like. they weren't serial killers did they. know who you were. i don't think so and um we gave it to so. we gave the dog. and then rudy cried she started crying. rude. it hurt huh yeah what did you say did. you say goodbye. yeah i gave her kisses oh what did you. say to her did you say something do you. say i love you forever and always and. we'll be reunited one day. no i just said bye sora and i love you.

oh it's cute but it's a little. that's a little that's it huh yeah. goodbye love you yeah i was telling her. i go i don't want to do this anymore. yeah because given away the dog is tough. yeah i don't look at her. she's emotional now oh yeah i don't want. to do this anymore because. because it's you know it's not only i i. think because. because kalila's like we're we're. helping a dog you know i mean. you know kicking you know in trouble. you're doing the right thing.

the right thing yeah but i what i think. it does though is. yeah we're doing the right thing but i. think there's some scarring when it. comes to. the dog i think the dog goes hey i love. this house. yeah i love these asians yeah i mean. they're feeding me nice clothing and. with it they're with me 20 they're. feeding you nice clothing. food i mean i just i just woke up from. it now i know. i'm a little i'm not fully there it's. okay so so what yeah. and you think it you think it's hurting. the dog that's interesting it might.

and i think the dog kind of just walks. around going. oh i'm in this new house but where's mom. where's mom and dad. yeah where's mom and dad and the little. one the little one yeah and um. rudy i'm sorry that and i just think. that it's uh yeah if she's not. and this is this is scarring for all of. us well he let me put it like this i. think maybe it does something. better for the humans than it does for. the dog the dog might be confused for a. little while and they get its bearings. again but like for rudy. i think it's a good thing because then. it teaches you lessons of life. right what lessons that things are going.

to come and go in your life nothing. lasts forever. that's going to happen with. relationships both friendships you know. yeah but usually when that happens it's. like either um like relationships. usually when those end you're glad. no no no no no sometimes you just as. you've gotten older something she will. learn. your friendship circle sort of changes. right and over the years like. people come and they go and you don't. see people as much and yeah but death is. the only thing that's i think equivalent. to what we went through. no because you could still go take her. back steal it.

yeah why wouldn't you just go steal it. back yeah yeah. if you really missed it i would steal it. back yeah by the way that'd be a great. heist movie. going back to get the dog that you gave. away for adoption yeah that's hilarious. yeah it's a fun movie that'll be really. fun yeah to watch rudy sneak back in and. steal it. you know where they live let's go get it. yeah but the dog would have to be in. peril. you mean you'd have to be sad and gross. what they're going through yeah like. they have to be in like in a well like. in a buffalo. like buffalo bill's dog oh man i mean.

yeah like just. on top of a you know what i mean well. barking at a. scared remember the scared fat lady. that's. under you know in the well yeah yeah i. mean and then she tricked her with the. bone. so sad that's a good trick though it was. a good trick when she was doing that. i was like in the theater go yeah yeah. yeah get in there what is it weird it. was weird because you were rooting. for her to hurt that dog in the movie. but the dog didn't do [ __ ]. for some reason you were like wanted it. i don't know why i wanted it to happen. yeah yeah because i love dogs. but in that specific it's like because.

it was buffalo bill's dog. right in silence for the lambs that you. wanted to get hurt but the dog didn't do. anything wrong. i know he was just being playful like. hey fat white lady. like just being joyful yeah but she's. like no i'm gonna take this. you know pale or whatever stick a. [ __ ] chicken bone to it. and then she did it jerk it down yeah it. broke its leg i think. yeah yeah and you're like yeah that. little [ __ ] that. dog but that dog didn't do [ __ ] that dog. didn't do nothing yeah. i think you can't do adoption anymore i. think that's gonna hurt rudy too much.

she's already scared it hurts me i just. don't cry. you don't know how to cry at all i i i. had to go. you know you know i told you that when. my dad didn't cry yeah yeah so. i had to cry when i had to go to a. therapy like. i had to go to arizona to an institution. i remember for me to cry yeah so it's. like i don't really i cry like. that disney movie was that disney movie. about the dog mulan. the dog um okay. foe in it uh the way home or whatever.

what was that called the dog's name was. norbit or something like taro or. taro tarot zotero i think. taro is a fruit it's delicious. [Laughter]. wait was that the movie that was the dog. movie taro yeah yeah i cried. hard really in that yeah and there was a. couple of instances. in uh queen's gambit where i kind of. teared up a little bit. it got me a little together together. coco was good by the way one of my. college buddies used to sell weed out of. um the drive-through window at togo's.

sandwich yes yeah that reminded me yeah. uh. i cried so hard and i'll do it every. single time at the first vignette of up. you know the vignette before up oh dude. that i can't even watch that video. it makes me so emotional bawling yeah. they should end the movie there. yeah that was the best part yeah yeah. that was the most beautiful thing i've. ever seen because whatever happens after. that. right his life might get a little that. little fat [ __ ]. with that little fat group yeah with a. fat [ __ ]. a little fat chubby [ __ ] they don't. ever say what it was the kid.

he used a little fat china fat. that's what he was little and he was. like yeah constantly in the boy scout. he was a he was a boy he was a boy scout. right which. there are no fat china's chinese fats. you're saying there's no fat chinese. people. in the in the boy scouts no there's. gotta be. i've never seen any fat china china in a. [ __ ]. hey guys to keep on this uh holidays. shut up you're in a flow you've worked. on a [ __ ] flower because you got.

good reviews last week's episode [ __ ]. uh. andreas did he get good reviews people. were like i saw some tweets like saying. oh he was really funny he said this one. line so now he's trying to interrupt. upstar there is a lot of economic. chatter right now. about the state of the market is it. recovering. how long will it take they say have we. seen the worst but if you're struggling. to pay off high interest credit card. debt. you can't wait for those answers you. need to take action now. with upstart there's actually something.

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professional uh so many people they're. hiring right now so. go to betterhelp you can find out more. about that special offer for bad friends. listeners get 10. off your first month at betterhelp.com. offer that's ten percent off your first. month at betterhelp.com bad friends bad. friend. andres what's up papa oh i was just. saying that uh since you guys are in. this holiday. spirit maybe it's time to do a secret. santa oh. secret santa i didn't bring a gift what. do you mean what. for a secret seller i have to give i put.

a we all brought a gift for secret santa. what are you doing we agreed to do. secret santa didn't you bring a gift. no one told me about george you never. told me about secret santa. are the names last week what do you mean. we picked names live on the air i have. proof. what did you get one yeah yeah what are. you talking about you we. just picked the names we just did it i. never. i hope i'm i never got a gift. george thank you you forgot what even. name i got. andres i got your gift oh awesome.

come here this is for andres what it's. under here where is it let me see it. this is. this is yours so you got a gift from me. i never saw you bring anything into the. [ __ ] car no but i um. delivered it to george's house so that. you won't see it. wait a minute oh wait are you lying i'm. not no we all got gifts. why didn't you who who's yours i don't. even remember. bobby who's yours bobby who's yours.

i swear to god well i'm giving a gift to. andres. thank you yeah and rudy's got one for. you. yeah and then george yeah so who do you. think yours is. yours and what did you get me merry. christmas. [Laughter]. you didn't get me a secret santa i. forgot. i just forgot. and then you get a gift yeah before i. open it what is it. open it no tell me what it is i know.

what it is. tell me what it is because i don't want. to see it tell me what it is. chicken hot pies chicken pot pies. chicken hot pie chicken pot. oh you got it from uh uh belly yeah. congratulations. that's really nice cool. you're so you're so annoying.

oh my god you got really upset. george make sure the are those frozen no. no no it's still frozen it's cold. all right i'm sorry i forgot i forgot. about i would. if i would have remembered i would have. gotten you something great we pulled the. names. literally like somebody else i don't. know [ __ ] i don't know what's going on. who did you pull i think it was you you. know wrong.

i don't remember but i did with you. george. you should have [ __ ] reminded me no. that's not his fault we just pulled in. george you should remind me. if you had me it would have been fine no. no but listen come here. come in here for a second just i'm sorry. just back up first hold on just take it. for a second hey uh andres where's the. video. uh let me send it to you just stay right. there. send it to my email okay you know all. right. i'm forgetful about things right.

you know you also knew right that i you. you also knew. i know but you also knew that i wouldn't. forget. well there's a chance yeah yeah so the. reason why you didn't tell me because. you wanted the drama. that you know i mean of me. it doesn't matter you should just remind. me whoever your person is you should get. the gift you should remind me. no one else needed a reminder i know i. don't know what i don't know when my. dude. and i have to remind you to get yeah.

because i know what christmas is on the. 25th i know that. right so my point is is this okay. my point is is that no i'm being real. okay okay the point is. this okay um i don't know i. forget about the little things that we. do here i first i was so enraged by the. trial. did we do did we pull it before the. trial just after we right after. literally right. now i was still in my emotional distress. over the trial right. you were yeah you were emotionally.

distressed from the trial that we did on. yeah so my point is is that you knew. i wouldn't show up here with a [ __ ]. gift you knew. that this would cause some sort of drama. between me and andrew and. i know that it's my fault i'm sorry it's. my fault and i'm sorry. thanks all right but i gave you the four. dollars and you [ __ ] flicked it and. that's [ __ ] rude. you really four dollars yeah thank you. andrew this is a really nice gift. yeah yeah you're welcome thank you. george i really love it yeah. oh i'm like heartbroken now.

it was so well everyone show their gift. and show what they got what did you get. andres. i got a bunch of film books really nice. what did you get rudy i got a keychain. and this. that's all what is that it's um inosuke. from. a favorite series i watched in a soke. yeah what does anisoke mean. i don't know but it's his name and it's. okay it's a pig purse it's a pig person. no uh he wears a pig head.

like he chopped he killed the pig and. then he wears it. that's what she's into and then george. what did you get oh my god my favorite. japanese notebooks and i don't know what. this is it's probably a pin from the. context. but it's really hard to open are you. going to love your pot pies. yeah yellow puff pies really thoughtful. thank you. it is thoughtful yeah and i'm happy you. thought of me why didn't you remind me. i thought you knew because you were.

buying gifts. no no no okay were you online buying. gifts yesterday and so you didn't think. about this. just how crazy this is yeah yesterday. right. i didn't even get kalylah anything who'd. you buy gifts for. that's right so yesterday i wake up i'm. like should i play. let's just let's just let me talk this. through. okay i wake up and i go let me just uh. should i play ground war on warzone. today.

i'll just grab some coffee i'll grab. some coffee yeah and then goes. what'd you get so and so for this other. thing that we have to do next week for. the family sure. i go what's next week and she goes it's. christmas i go it is. that's what i it is yeah so you forget. the sun oh [ __ ] it is. right and then i'm thinking what. did i didn't get clean nothing right so. then i'm thinking.

i gotta get this guy that's on the you. know that that i [ __ ] drew. right i gotta say i don't wanna say what. it is and then. while i was doing that i go i might as. well just buy a bunch of [ __ ] for. kaleido right now. right so they got but the guy who you. drew the guy's name that you drew. do you remember drawing my name out of. the thing forever because. reminded me i would have completely. forgotten about it you did but you do. remember the moment you drew his name no. i don't. i don't even know i go who's my guy you. told me it was so sorry do you remember. the moment you drew my name. out of r i don't remember let's take a. look [ __ ] man.

yeah we'll do secret santa let's do this. yeah well here we're doing a seat we're. doing secret santa this year. bobby's first who'd you pull let's look. at bobby's eyes. don't tell anybody literally looks right. at me. twice three times. four times five times put in your mind. look at it. why that's how you know it's good. look at how many did you see how many. times bobby looks me in the face. look at this let's watch it again right.

as bobby pulls it look at this. yeah we'll do secret santa let's do this. we'll do some secret santa here we're. doing a seat we're doing secret santa. this year. right here right now okay look at. bobby's eyes ready one don't tell. anybody. two three four. five. why that's it that's how you know it's. good luck no in my culture we put in we. put in red bull. put it in red bull red bill so here's.

the idea i remember putting in the red. bull you do. so bobby we knew that you were never. going to remember. thank you so every name inside of the. cup had my name on it. so on purpose we devised this plan are. you being real yeah. every name every name inside of it let. me finish. every name inside of there had andrew. written on it because we knew bobby's. never going to remember. in fact i said to george. i said to george i said to george george.

yeah yeah what if. what if he remembers and george oh oh he. won't remember. and sure enough you didn't remember i. didn't remember. so not only did none of us those gifts. were all arranged by george thank you. george you did a great job. you never got chicken pox no she did no. yeah george guys. no when you made up that you you were. shipped to george did you make that up. on the spot. yeah it was good that was a very good. improv she really did kill it you did. very well that's how well we knew you. weren't gonna get me a gift so we put. george put your my name on everyone's.

paper. it's so good it worked it was really. working it didn't work. and you made you i was feeling pretty. bad yeah. you should have seen what you were gonna. get what was i gonna get. no i because when i [ __ ] up like that i. double down. yeah so you would have gotten something. great i don't need anything from you. just your just yourself that was really. a good trick. oh god i was so scared so that's why. george didn't remind me because it was.

that serious george would have reminded. 100. he knew yeah george knows better to. remind you with real when real life. happens yeah yeah. okay good thank god well [ __ ] you. merry christmas i want to show you one. thing by the way there's a famous. um of uh this guy alex tanello. this guy pointed this out to me you know. run dmc's christmas in hollis queens. do you know that song christmas in. hollis queens you never heard that song. well we can't play it because that we'll. get sued but i want to show you.

something you are in this music video. i get what you're saying because there's. a there's a little photo that says. you've seen this bobby leona people yeah. i get it i've been getting tweets about. it for the last 10 years. it's insane i've never seen this look at. that there's bobby lee. just because my name shows up but it. said you were nice. that's you yeah bobby lee hong kong. naughty or nice yeah bobby lee hong kong. but nice yeah but if i looked that cute. i would have been a comedian.

that kid obviously by the way that kid. so cause that says bobby lee hong kong. yeah is that does that kid look like. he's from hong kong you could be from. hong kong yeah. i don't know let's let me see another. frame of it. real fast he looks like a hong kong kid. i who [ __ ] dude everybody knows what. a hong kong kid looks like no no. when i'm honest you just talked about. him before. jules if you're on a plane yeah.

you sit by an asian person do you. immediately know where they're [ __ ]. from. no exactly it's very difficult really. yeah. you can't tell i can't i can't see a. japanese guy some. sometimes japanese i can get but. sometimes i'm wrong i go eight japanese. they go. cambodian and then you're like oh [ __ ]. my bad well maybe we should have you. guys start to wear something to identify. it doesn't the reason why we shouldn't. do that because it doesn't matter. it doesn't work well we want to know. which ones are the good ones together. there is no good every place has good.

ones and bad ones. i don't know yeah dude i think some are. bad and some are good. no we japanese good korean bad no no no. no no no no no there's a lot of great. like i just saw something right now a. bunch of [ __ ] south koreans what they. do is they go to this. river by the dmz the the line by the tn. by the tmz. the dmz huh the line the demilitarized. zone exactly. and what they do is they either put rice. check this out i'm not kidding no i know.

but you said check this. this out check this out they put rice. inside like a bottle of water. yeah they take the water out and then. little messages like money. or they'll put like your little um usb. like. memory chips in there so that people can. because they can see news and stuff like. that yeah. and they put it in the river so that it. drifts and maybe lands on the other side. or they'll take balloons. and they'll put different things you. know what i mean like messages and stuff. and they'll float it over the thing. and so that the north koreans can get.

some stuff that's incredible. right but then that south koreans just. illegalized it. why because they were like because this. is what happened was they were. they're afraid of a war no south koreans. were like drawing pictures of like. kim jong-un like as a like a fat crazy. monster that's what i'm saying they're. afraid of a war right and so that. and then i guess they're getting annoyed. by it because now all these north. koreans are getting like. you know i mean these pictures of kim. jong-un like eating [ __ ] you know. white people and babies and stuff.

they're like it's completely illegal but. they've been doing it for years well no. so those are good people. of course i know that there's many go. i'm making a joke that is incredible. that they would do that. yeah would you give a [ __ ] okay let me. tell you something. we live in los angeles right let's just. say. right outside of valet people people had. to be. enslaved basically you would feel. terrible for them. knowing that they're right next to you. and they have to be enslaved. without without any chance of really.

getting out or having a future. but okay let's if they were right next. to you you'd feel it more. i i don't know because um let's suppose. it's mexico. okay let's just say mexico was a. authoritarian you know country. dictatorship. yeah and they were enslaved and a lot of. bad [ __ ] was going on. and they they had no um means for um. to get any kind of news you know and um. they're getting fed this propaganda from. their own country sure.

and um i don't know if we would go down. to you know. the border and put up balloons and. giving them i think citizens would. you think so i think people have good. hearts i think people really care. i would do it too. what's the nicest thing you've done this. year how about that have you done. something nice. yeah but it's not stuff that you would. think it was nice well tell me what you. think is nice. well there's this comic that i don't. really like that much and. i had heard that in the pandemic.

he was struggling yeah so i venmoed him. just out of the blue. 500 it's very nice why would i not think. that's very nice. because i think when i think about it. maybe it was a power play on my part. yeah you're gonna use it against him. well maybe it's something to use against. him or. to show him hey i know you know me we're. frenemies. right but you're not really enemies yeah. but we're not like. like if he called me he goes i think. you're inflating it you think so.

i think you're making it out to be a. thing that it's not the fact that you. even did that to him shows how good of a. heart you have that you really do care. i did that to like maybe four or five. comics i'm saying you really care. that's i don't like comics or friends of. mine. struggling struggling especially. talented people it's it you know it. sucks see that's what i'm saying so you. do care i guess that's a really nice. thing. yeah doordash oh. andrew i would have been dead without. doordash me too you should drink this. pandemic it's helped me out so much. i get all my foods from doordash i get a.

lot of deliveries through jordash it's. very convenient you want chinese you. want pizza. they got it baby what do you like. ordering through doordash bob i like. panda express i like the good stuff. you do like the good stuff look we've. counted on restaurants and now they're. counting on you. um dining rooms are closed but they're. still open for delivery with doordash. please support your local restaurants. man it's struggling right now. to keep everyone alive it's an easy app. if you don't know what doordash is. it brings your food your craving right. to your door with over 300 000 partners. in the u.s puerto rico. canada and australia you can support.

your local go-to's or choose from your. favorite national restaurants like. chipotle wendy's. and the cheesecake factory a lot of. favorite local restaurants are still. open for delivery so check them out on. the doordash app. and it's all contactless contact lists. baby. keep communities we operate in very safe. uh right now our listeners can get five. dollars off and zero delivery fees in. the first order of 15. or more when you download the door dash. app and enter the code bad friends. that's five dollars off and zero. delivery fees on your first order when. you download the doordash app and the.

app store enter the code. bad friends don't forget that's code bad. friends for five dollars off your first. order with doordash. policy genius hey the holiday season. sure knows how to. lighten your wallet many families. december is one of the most expensive. months of the year not to mention it's. the busiest if you're looking to fast. and easy way to put some money back in. your pocket. why not reshop your home and auto. insurance rates with policy genius. policy genius combines a cutting edge. insurance marketplace with help from. licensed experts. to save their home and auto consumers.

and auto customers an average of. a thousand dollars per year better yet. it's really simple to use. very easy to use go to policygenius.com. answer some questions about yourself and. your property. and policy genius does the rest they'll. compare rates from over 30 top insurance. from progressive donation. insurance for my house insurance you did. for your home insurance yeah my home is. it does home and auto did you get a good. deal because a lot of people say good. deal. thousand dollars that you can imagine. well because it's bobby lee. and uh people now our fans can take. advantage of this they've got a. five-star rating over 1600 reviews on.

trustpilot and google. if you're feeling the picture in the. holiday season find out how much more. you could save on home and. auto insurance you don't just have to be. a homeowner. they've saved their home and auto. insurance customers an average of a. thousand a year. by re-shopping policy genius when it. comes to insurance. it's nice to get it right i adopted. three teenagers. for the holidays i adopted three. teenagers usually it's a family but we. did teenagers this year. it's just gross that you would say it. out loud sometimes when you do a good. deed you should just keep it to yourself.

no because when you announce it it felt. really good i know but when you announce. it you announced giving someone 500. you asked me okay you you never ask me. questions. but i got to fill it in myself. but you hear yourself talking and i gave. each of them 10 grand. see that's it's so gross i'm kidding it. was 25. no. did you really adopt teenagers or is it. a joke no we do. every year we usually do families are. they. what are they like what color are they.

yeah they don't tell you so you don't. know their names. mario lopez no no you don't know their. names or what they look like. uh no because they don't want to create. they don't want to create this weird. they tell you their name and they tell. you. the things they need and then they tell. you um how do you know what's going to. them that's my problem. because it's a community program that. we've worked with in the past yeah but. still. in the past they probably never told you. who they were what if. what you'd be saying what if these. people steal from yeah maybe i always. think that how.

how how do i know that all my money is. going to go to them is going to go to. these well it's gifts it's gifts. it's gifts it's not physical cash it's. good can't they take the gifts and then. sell that [ __ ] on etsy sure but if they. did that then they're the ones that are. going to burn not me you know like i did. the right thing. like i did the right thing what do you. want me to do right you can only do so. much. when you it's like saying when somebody. gives a dollar to a homeless person. they're like yeah he's probably. expanding on drugs like what do you care. it's over you did the right thing yeah. yeah. the rest is out of your control well you. don't piss me off today i read the news. that said.

bezos his wife mackenzie bezos yeah she. gave away 4.4 billion dollars. and then people were tweeting like yeah. but. she made 26 billion during the pandemic. yeah. but it's like yeah but what do you. wanted what's when is enough enough like. what. you're mad that she gave some money what. if she gave zero. you wouldn't have said anything some. people don't say give any that's what. i'm asking my point like what do you. want her to do. okay if you had 4.4 billion dollars you. had 20 billion what would you do.

i'd probably i'd invest as much as i. could to know that my kids kids kids. would be set up forever. yeah yeah i would tell my business. manager i go how much do i need to put. away until everyone in my family. all my uncles and aunts and cousins and. everybody everyone in my family. extended family yeah are they good yes. okay. with the rest of it i'm gonna have fun. and i'm gonna give some of it away. how much 20 billion i'd give away. a million. i don't know i don't really know maybe. i'd probably give away one uh one.

billion i'd probably what about whatever. if you spend the money for yourself but. you let. unfortunate people come party with me. yeah come. and come along like i rent a g5 jet and. i put a bunch of homeless guys on it. yeah something like that that's right. yeah i got a a playboy boat. yeah with a bunch of naked ladies right. homeless come on. on we'll give them a shower scrub them. down right yeah and get like. get a nut off here's some cocaine. there's like whatever you know and then. when we're done when we get back to l.a. go back to your [ __ ] get to the hut.

yeah you get right to the top the. dungeon yeah. no i don't know how much would you would. you give away a bunch of money if you. got a bunch. if you got that if you okay look if you. got like rogan's deal. if you got 100 million dollars tomorrow. would you give any of the way to charity. yeah that silence says everything i'm. thinking i know but to think about it is. pretty heavy no because i don't want to. give you a lie i want to give you an. honest. answer respect respect i respect that so. give me a second. i'll go to rudy right now rudy would you.

give away any money if you've got 100. million dollars. yeah how much um. 50 50 million dollars you'd give half of. what you made. wow that's really generous. 50 million dollars you give away i get 5. million. of 100 million yeah okay no. no judgment don't judge me no judgment. i have [ __ ] to do i know. no probably 20 million that seems fair.

yeah. 20 million is good 20 yeah it seems fair. it seems. good okay but where would you give it to. no i would probably do um. i don't like you know what breaks my. heart is when i see like um. young children get cancer it's. disgusting i hate it it's disgusting so. probably something you know when it. comes to that like children's hospital. or like hope and all that stuff. something like that yeah and then i. would probably. um i would probably go to an island or a. place where. these brown people come from yeah and i.

would go i really would because. and i would probably set up um you know. two things you know um hospital. no not a hospital right um because you. have a lot of stray dogs. yeah we talked about this so i would do. like a you know a dog shelter. a ranch for straight dogs to just live. on. right on and then we could feed them and. jules can take care of it i'll pay her. to do it. would you do that yeah if i paid you. good money go this is your ranch. take care of these dogs yeah and then i. would probably do.

um something for like uh. you know what you know i feel bad. dwarves little people. yeah but i want them to get the little. leg extensions. we have friend like brad williams is a. friend he doesn't want to have asked him. he doesn't want legs no i go you want to. do the lug extension he goes i'm fine. buddy. you know what i mean so how do you what. do you mean leg extension well in china. what they do is they operate. they they take the bone shut up i sort. of go they do they build them legs. no they see the bone the leg bone yeah i.

don't know which one. they they cut cut it yeah. and they leave a space and the bone. grows whoa right and it takes like a. year so they can't walk for a year. so a wheelchair yeah but you can um you. can gain like five. inches really yeah why don't they just. take the legs out and put fake legs in. people want their legs man people do. want their they wiggle their toes. yeah yeah yeah yeah i've never heard a.

leg extension yes but then their arms. are still short what do you do with the. other you look weird. okay so yeah yeah so just really good. they're like t-rex. but they have they know what they're. going to be for halloween. that's great that's true but they do. look it up. leg extensions yeah chinese leg. extensions okay i'll look it up right. now surgery. little little person leg extension. little person leg. lengthening yes limb lengthening is. meant to help little people born with. dwarfism the most common form is uh.

achondroplasia a genetic condition. afflicting one in ten thousand newborns. people with the uh contraplegia have. average-sized heads torsos but. abnormally shorter the operation just. isn't about the physical though. that's crazy so this is a real thing. dwarves divided over limb lengthening. god is that a great headline. yeah say that ten times dividing over. limb lengthening doors. [Laughter]. that's gonna be the name of my next. album dwarves divided over limb. lengthening yeah. uh that's one that's wait should we call. let's call brad and see if he would do. it. should we call him i think that's.

insulting i know but we're somebody. calling me going hey. you want to get your eyes around do you. though no why i'd do it for you. i don't want it if i paid for it would. you would you get your eyes done. i'm fine yeah your eyes are pretty round. yeah yeah you don't know she has nice. eyes she has nice mine aren't nice. they're okay they're okay they're fine. they're good they're like they look like. a little cave i want to hide out in. okay that's good yeah it looks it looks. mysterious. do you know what i mean yeah that's good. let's call brad but you have to tell him.

because you're the one that came up with. it but i can't i don't i can't confront. him about it. you have to say it first well i'll say. it but he's going to be he's. i'll do it i'll give a [ __ ] you should i. love brad. well let me say hi first because he'll. you know can you hear me. sure this yeah what's up man hey baby. boy you're on the podcast you're on bad. friends i just want to give you a heads. up and bobby wants to ask. you something okay all right okay that's. so funny. because i know i know bobby if you have. a question it's. not going to be like hey i need a new.

recipe for something. but i just wanted to call you and say um. happy holidays i know. your people love it are you guys working. a lot. you guys working bobby is bad. yeah yeah bobby tell him tell him what. you taught me well um. okay well so um if. if hi you good. how's the kid the. kid is great bobby how much do you need.

i don't even. i don't need money no because we were. talking about like um. you know how uh you're are you a dwarf. you we've known him for years i don't. know i don't know i don't know what the. heck. he doesn't understand you know he's not. the smartest man he just. he doesn't understand terminology so he. needs to be informed. ah i mean yeah i was gonna say bobby. have you not seen five minutes of my act. i'm pretty sure i cover it i like having. fun. i like to party i don't know about you.

but when i party i like to drink. and one of the main reasons i like to. drink is because i never have to pay for. it. ever because everyone wants to know what. happens when a dwarf gets drunk. right now you're thinking like i wonder. what happens i would really like to know. that like. and i know it's like me and hot chicks. me and hot chicks have that thing in. common where we walk into the club and. everyone just looks at us and goes we're. getting that. [ __ ] up tonight i'm sorry to burst. your bubble but i i have tall friends. okay it's not like the midgets get.

together every sunday on the tree stump. and watch football. uh i ran track in the special olympics. now. if you have never seen a [ __ ] run holy. [ __ ] you don't know what you're missing. out on you wanna know what happens. when a six foot two guy gives a four. foot guy a chest bump a four foot guy. gets a dick in the face that's what. happens. yeah yeah yeah he goes over it yeah yeah. but because when i see you i don't see. you as anything you know i see you as. just. a comic my friend right i don't treat. you different we love each other.

we're brothers we're brothers i i. i treat you differently brad and you. know that i i look i look. i look down on you and you know it. absolutely. uh no how do you feel about let's get to. the. point how do you feel about you know. certain dwarves getting this leg. leg lengthening operation you know where. they separate the bone and the bone. grows in. oh god no uh yeah i'm not a fan of that. it's a surgery that takes like over.

a year and a half to get done you. separate your bone by. millimeters a day and then overnight it. grows back in. uh and the thing is is even when you do. it and it's all done. you still look like a dwarf but just. that went into like a taffy. stretching machine that's what we said. yeah that's what we said that's what we. say yeah it's just you're just a taller. dwarf. yeah no well have you guys heard that. now there's actually an injection that. you can give to. dwarf children what do you mean.

it's in phase three of trials right now. uh it's a shot. and you give it to them and then the. uh bad parts of dwarfism kind of go away. what wow like what do you what do you. mean wait wait what do you mean like. they could like they can. like the funny had. brad brad what does that mean what does. that even mean you give it to the kid. and it gets rid of what like like uh. uh or internal stuff like organ stuff.

they ten uh they tend to grow more and. uh some of the health the health. complications that are. associated with dwarfism are lessened. wow. wow holy [ __ ] would you would you have. taken that. as a kid no no i don't have to write a. new hour. [Laughter]. because you know for me you know when i. you know i used to think to myself. even just being korean and weird looking.

i always thought i was korean and weird. looking. and i would go to an all-white high. school and i used to think i wish i was. you know there was times where i would. pray i wish i was just a white guy. regular good looking. white guy you know i mean but right you. know as you as you grow in your own skin. and you and you. um develop a personality and you you. have these you know you have your own. thoughts and ideas about things. and then you know your self-esteem. builds you look in the mirror one day. and you go you know i'm just. perfect the way i am you know i i would.

not change. perfect but yeah no i i think that i'm. perfect well. yes okay you i'm not no no you're a. racist i'm a bigot not a racist. brad williams is perfect the way he is i. know look i i'm gonna agree with you you. said a great thing it's true when i was. a kid. red hair i like it was so repulsive to. me it was like the most annoying thing. ever and i shaved my head. i just wanted to not have it anymore. yeah and now that i'm older. i look in the mirror and i still i still. wish i had normal hair. yeah yeah but it's okay no you're right.

you're great you grow into it. andrew i'd much rather be a dwarf than a. redhead let's do it. are there any redheaded dwarfs. you guys there's no way they live past. they got to get taken care of. yeah a red-headed dwarf we have to look. one up and. we have to get one on this show now brad. you know when you take the injections. does that get. does that take away your mythological. powers yeah. unfortunately by the way we have one. look at this oh my god we have one i. found. i found a red-headed comedian dwarf i.

used to open for her you know that right. tanley davis yeah dude yeah she's a. store girl. wait a minute yeah yeah so all this time. you guys have known a redheaded dwarf. and didn't. yeah this is crazy but you know what the. word you didn't want to hook me up. no no no she's very funny. brad but i used to have to um open for. she used to. like she i don't know if she is but she. was married to like a six foot eight. like. giant guy of course right and used to. like carry her around like a pocket. [ __ ]. [Laughter].

right so one time like he wasn't around. and she's like mad. you know i mean let's open for me at. this casino. right so then i had to like like we our. hotel room was on like the third floor. and there was like no elevator. so i had to carry her up [ __ ] she was. heavy bro. really oh my god dwarves are heavy well. they're yeah. brad is bottom heavy because this kid's. a tripod do you know about his kid. okay i'm not gonna get into it but do. you know about brad his dick.

seriously do you know pretty big no. little no not no pretty big is not. large besides this microphone like. length and girth. your dick is that big brad yes i can't. see the microphone i don't know what. you know what the side these you know. how big these shores are. look at this this is it it's this is. your dick big though brad yep. no it it just looks big on me. okay let me ask you this your dick is. bigger than mine. oh definitely yeah let me tell you not.

let me talk to you let me tell you how i. knew how i knew brad and i went golfing. one time and he went to go take a pee. because when you're golfing you. there's no bathroom so you just piss. outside and he pissed outside and we had. had a couple of drinks and he came back. and he was a little a little sloppy and. i said oh brad you got pissed you. he shook you know when you shake and he. shook and he got pissed on his pants and. i'm not exaggerating. the piss shake is about this far out. from where it should have been. this far out it was like a foot away. from where normal piss would be. and i was like jesus how do you pee down. there when you golfed with brad it was.

the golf course did they have a windmill. brad go ahead and answer no. we play big boy big boy golf man. you know what you know that joke is okay. yeah it's fine that joke okay yeah i. mean it didn't do well but. i know i would like to set up right now. because there's nothing but love here. and brad knows we i love you so much. brad you know that. and uh obviously for the audience it's. all jokes this is our friend i do want. to set up a match between you and brad. to have a physical altercation of some. kind. because i cannot wait to watch him beat.

you no no first of all. i would bet my bank account bank account. i was. dude you know i was on the wrestling. team right i would love to watch you. fight brad. boxing yeah you got to fight him i would. kick his ass. okay brad let's set it up i would kick i. wouldn't want to brev i would kick the. living [ __ ] out of you. you're done dude no no no no andrew. here's the deal. because bobby just said that he was on. the wrestling team right yeah. i was also on the wrestling team in. college let's go let's. set it up so we gotta do this so we.

gotta do this. nate nate robinson jake paul style. pay-per-view records and it'll be. bobby lee against brad williams in the. ball pit of a chuck e cheese. here's what's gonna happen though we're. gonna brad's gonna show up on a trench. coat and he's gonna be on my shoulders. and we're gonna beat the [ __ ] out of. here. brad we love you very much thanks for. picking up uh merry merry holidays baby. boy i love you i'll talk to you soon.

all right brother love you guys thanks. what are you doing. what what are you doing oh we've got he. yeah andres. andres got off last time on doing trivia. yeah. where's the [ __ ] where's your costume oh. it was getting hot out there oh it was. so we we've got some trivia andres wants. us to do trivia. yeah and he's got some trivia lined up. like he did last time but i i answer. questions and then. we're gonna hit the buzzer because last. time the problem was there was no. judgment over who. buzzed who could buzz in first okay so.

now this is. everyone's got a buzzer but what's if if. i get an answer wrong what happens. you get hit okay we've got some trivia. so andres once you set up the rules set. up the christmas trivia i'm excited. about it okay so let's do it. [Music]. the person who gets five questions right. wins. five the person who hits the buzzer. first. will answer the question you guys cannot. go. over like in the price is right this.

time so if you go over the. the number that's what it should have. been you go over it doesn't count just. like the price is right. and if you guys fight the judge you lose. that point. okay go ahead oh so these are just. numbers. what are these questions just all. involving numbers no he's just saying. he's setting it up setting up the rules. in case there is a numbered question. because you yelled about it last time. right right okay is it. there's an abc are they multiple choice. no just listen up. no multiple choices here all right who's. going to pay attention to the buzzers. i will and in case there is like an.

arbitration. uh i'll have a set of eyes here with. george uh calling it oh by the way and. if you buzz in prematurely before the. question is done you can't answer. yeah correct you have to wait till the. question is done being read. all right so first question. in the song frosty the snowman. what made frosty come to life. all right andrew um. the uh the hat and the scarf when she.

put on. she put on the hat and the nose and the. eyes and the scarf and that made him. come to life. anal silk hat correct yeah baby. boom all right one for one white people. question this is good. you don't know frosty the snowman. christmas it's all christmas. [Laughter]. okay who spies on kids and reports back. to santa. who's spice on kids yeah who spies on.

kids. yeah uh the elves the elf on the shelf. we'll give it to you. one one zero yeah she does get it yeah. she said elf it's part of the. you know what i mean what christmas. decoration was originally. made from strands of silver. i got it garland. the store on the top now strands of. silver.

i just thought about anything i know. rudy um. the balls the balls no. do you mean the ornaments tinthole. tinsel. it sounds like a tensile yeah yeah right. yeah we're dumb. who played george bailey in the. christmas classic. it's a wonderful life. [ __ ] what's his name bobby no that was. me that was you oh yeah. he doesn't have his name.

his name is uh. time time. anyone that's his last name jim. jimmy oh come on guys. well i know we all know who it is i just. i couldn't get it out. dimmestore damn it jimmy stewart do i. knew that but i had everything doesn't. the voice come forward. no death encounter jimmy store jimmy.

stewart. damn it what christmas beverage is also. known as. milk punch damn it bobby eggnog. yup [ __ ] okay. one of santa's reindeer shares a name. with a famous symbol of valentine's day. which reindeer is that. yes cupid yep correct. two points. you're a poor loser and it's ugly dude.

you're the poorest. winner you're the poorest winner when. you win you rub it in people's face. it's disgusting it's disgusting see when. you get gifts. get gifts you throw in three dollars. that's [ __ ] it doesn't matter with. the heart. you thought not about it at all shut up. go ahead george or andres. what southeast asian country boasts the. longest holiday season. starting with decorations and carols as. early as september. and celebrations that last sometimes. until january.

i was first ready i was first i think. rudy was rudy was first he's looking. yeah philippines. correct i swear to god i was it's only. appropriate though. i swear to god i was surprised look at. the back of the thing okay we'll we'll. do. we'll do. [Music]. two two one what christmas themed. ballet premiered in san pedersburg.

russia in 1892. we're out no i got it we both did it. before the question's over we both. no we no i'm doing it he didn't finish. the question i already know the answer. we both did you can't answer when he's. not done you can't do it she's the only. one that can try. i don't know well then it's not that i. get to do it. i get to do it right no yes yes yes yes. nutcracker. that since we said the question doesn't. count if we if we pause it. this is it yeah i can [ __ ] buzz cuz. she missed it. and i just got it the nutcracker two two.

two two go. [ __ ] yourself see you're the shittiest. you're the shittiest of all right i'm. not even winning yeah i know but you're. a brat you're a little [ __ ] fat you. see how angry you get for no [ __ ]. reason do you know because you said [ __ ]. you. therapy did you say [ __ ] you [ __ ] you go. ahead because of this bad behavior you. both. uh get one point uh taken away from you. so it's two for rudy one. one i hope you like what you did you did. that no you did you sh you couldn't let. go the first [ __ ] you said f you to me. you could have let that go you didn't. have to say it idiot.

that's a warning okay so. we're gonna lose this [ __ ] i know. what's the best christmas candy. bobby no it was me candy canes. now what's the best christmas according. to whoo. yeah bobby candy corn this place can be. it's halloween halloween rudy i don't. know. um god if she gets it uh. i'm gonna be so pissed off she doesn't. even know um.

snickers snickers yeah it's snickers. it's a snickers correct. one point for rudy so annoying that's. not it no it i'm sure it is. is it really it is snickers they have it. written down. okay uh in charles dickens a christmas. carol. what would mr scrooge's first name. okay andrew ebenezer correct. three wait is it three two one correct.

what traditional christmas decoration is. actually a. parasitic plant i got it. you didn't make any noise yeah it did my. yours didn't make any noise. yes uh bobby got it first but he didn't. make any noise but i saw it. so i bagged the first go ahead yeah. correct. three two two which fairy tale inspire. the first gingerbread houses. under hansel and gretel correct [ __ ] yes.

three three two i'm gonna lose i don't. know much about christmas. what animated 2004 film is about a train. that carries kids to the north pole on. christmas eve. andrew uh the polar express. correct what is it now. three four two um did you know that. answer. yeah but i forgot the name step it up. what's the most fun christmas tradition.

yes opening presents. just as long as she wins i'm happy. that's what he's doing yeah. that's a that's all i care ugh 4-4-2. where was baby jesus born. i got it rudy i got it. um um jerusalem. no no bethlehem he wasn't next yes.

yes i was next he was i was next. bethlehem. oh this jerusalem i don't know. jerusalem it's not wrong. it's not right it's not right yeah yeah. yeah close enough. jerusalem does he have more i do let's. do another one i won but let's do. another one. no no no no no no no you didn't win it's. not over yeah won five let's do best of.

ten. who was the star of the christmas movie. jingle all the way. andrew uh. tim allen ain't correct i don't remember. i i don't the [ __ ] is a jingle all the. way. it's a movie i know tim allen was the. santa claus. it was arnold schwarzenegger i remember. that what's wrong with me. which food do you leave for santa. go ahead rudy rudy cookies and milk.

correct. he loves when she gets it right correct. he does his little spanish correcto. correcto he doesn't do it for us. as the clock chimes midnight in the new. years a spanish tradition. involves eating 12 of what one for each. time. no can rudy go ahead. grapes correct.

why i don't know anything in the movie. elf it's not in my it's not. in the movie elf you know this movie. peter dinklage he's in it. you know he got leg lengthening really. yeah. which country started a tradition of. putting up. a christmas tree yes. i'm gonna say canada nope damn. bobby germany correct germany.

look at that. it's not germany yeah it is it weighs. germany it is germany. is it really germany it is they do have. a lot of um. they do have a lot of like uh german. terms in christmas. santa claus. you could use any word and put a german. accent through it. no but they did but like santa claus. that was like a big.

i think it was a german thing it is. right. isn't it yes what is the most popular. meal. for christmas in japan. yes uh noodles. no bobby chicken pot pie. no sushi no kfc fried chicken. i knew that they love kfc over there. have you never you know know about this. there's more kfc franchises there than.

anywhere else in the world japanese love. kfc yeah we turn into them into fried. chicken and [ __ ] hiroshima. all right next question okay. so do you guys know a lot about uh. presidents which president established. christmas. as a national holiday. yes teddy roosevelt no. yes eisen eisenhower no. is it still lincoln no. it's a ulysses s grant oh.

how many points does the snoke flake. traditionally have. andrew. seven no eight. no six. six six six. rudy rudy's catching up shut up. no but don't shut up but keep reading. [Laughter]. what bing crosby song is the.

best-selling single ever. bobby white christmas correct that's. good. what christmas movie sequel includes a. cameo by donald trump. i know what is it it's home alone yes. it's all lost in new york donald trump. is in lost in new york alone correct. yeah and he kisses macaulay culkin on. the mouth. when he says goodbye he goes i gotta go. merry christmas. yeah he kisses him what words follow. sadly night in the sun.

yes holy night correct. i'm running i'm running away with this. miracle on 34th street what a movie is. based on what real life store. uh department store yes. macy's correct okay it looks like so. only one person here. enjoys christmas i love it. okay i try rudy he tried so hard to. sabotage he took away points from us and.

everything. the spaniard you can never trust a. spaniard dude honestly. it's just you're just embedded in like. white midwest. ritualistic things like [ __ ]. christmas i was never exposed to that we. didn't have a christmas tree. everything that i learned is through. just like glimpses of media. you know same thing you're you guys. had the christmas tree and guys you. never had a christmas tree your whole. childhood. you guys had did you have a christmas. tree when you were a kid yeah yeah okay. all right so she's so what i'm saying i. know my point though is is that it's.

just completely unfair because it's a. tradition. that i didn't grow well let's do a. tradition that you grew up with that i. didn't then. there is no tradition alcoholism i i did. grow up with that. [Laughter]. wait a minute how old were you when you. guys finally got a tree. i think we got one but it was never. decorated and it stayed in our living. room for like a year and a half because. no one would ever. so and then my mom used to put like it. was like a real tree. yeah and then my mom used to hang. clothes on the like the. barren branches to dry yeah so it became.

like. a drying rack a drying rack and for like. a year and a half it was just sitting. there. you know i mean in the living room with. like socks and [ __ ]. drawing on it how long did you have the. christmas tree up for. for a couple years and then we're like. after that we find my dad finally oh. [ __ ] it. i'm gonna take it down he chopped it. down what yeah and then we never had one. after that. why did you ever get gifts though yeah. my dad would go. like christmas we'd sit around we. wouldn't have any of the traditional i. don't. even know what food you would eat but we.

would sit around and my dad would go. yeah. merry christmas and he would give you an. envelope full of cash. and i would go buy weed with it how much. money would you get in the envelope 300. bucks. and he'd be like that's it merry. christmas merry christmas no gifts open. up in the morning there was no like. you never had one merry christmas none. of this magical [ __ ] that you guys grew. up with. but when i watch it when i like right. now we have two trees in our house. real or fake they're real and we went. and bought it you know what i mean and. we went i picked we [ __ ] lugged it in.

the house yeah. and then her and klyla and juliana spent. all night. with all the decorations and i just sit. there and watch and i go you know i. wanna. i don't wanna be like you know um. i want to get involved you know made the. best i can. because i just don't but i don't know. much about. the culture or the rituals of it so i. just kind of like. i do the best i can but at the end of. the day. i'm dead inside when it comes to the. holiday season.

no you're not i am i don't care you. i don't care okay you know so when we. play games like this. um i i play along and the answers that i. have are just out of just. just stuff that maybe i gathered by. listening to a song one day or. at a mall right but like nothing that i. you know i mean grew up you know. learning does it make christmas movies i. don't i've never seen any of them. yeah you have i haven't have you ever. seen miracle on 34th street. i don't even know what it is but some.

movies fall into the category of. christmas movie even though they're not. right what home alone is a christmas. movie even though it's i saw a predator. once. that's a good christmas movie yeah yeah. like the first one what about like uh uh. what about like. planes trains and automobiles great. movie. great movie but that was more of a. thanksgiving movie i think it was home. for christmas. thanksgiving was it yeah it was you know. why. because the fat lady yeah that was at. that gobble gobble. you're right okay that was all right let. me think of another christmas movie by.

heart. die hard was a christmas movie die hard. too no die hard the original was a. christmas movie. yeah i did see that one but you can't. learn much from it. you learn how to like i mean what do you. mean like you could the only thing i. learned from die hard about christmas is. you could run on broken glass with bare. feet hell yeah yeah. yeah you can climb through events in. nakatomi tower yeah i had never heard of. the term yipikaya before. well no one had yeah didn't he make that. up on that movie i think that's a. yipikaya is. an old western term you have a.

[ __ ] isn't it yes. he combined the two yeah he made it. a [ __ ] yeah that's his but. yipikaya is a. yeah but you love westerns you said you. love westerns that's like i know but i'm. just saying though. that uh christmas movies i i don't mean. to bring anyone down when people are. say merry christmas or i've bought gifts. from people i just. my honest feeling about it is is that i. i've never gotten the christmas spirit. and i wish i. could get it but maybe you can try this. year i.

i [ __ ] it up by one of my best buddy. that couldn't eat you sure did. i couldn't even get you a [ __ ] gift. man you sure did i mean are you going to. make up for it at some point. [ __ ] you thank you that's my i don't. know i just did that i know why. why because it's a defense mechanism it. is it's sad for showing how much you. actually love me. i love you it's fine i love you too i. really do i love you i know it's the end. of the year. i want to say how much i love and. appreciate you guys this is the. christmas spirit. is giving and i want to give you guys. um a little gift uh if you uh andres.

reach under your seat there and see i've. left you a little gift under there do. you see it. oh yeah and george look under your seat. did you get it. it's incredible you're welcome what is. it. it's just a little something from me to. the crew oh god. wow i got a gift too what about from. bobby did you get the guys anything. yeah but mine is in the mail you know. you use ups is backed up right now. they are perfect they are so mine's.

arriving a little late. okay well i want to say thank you to all. you guys i also want to say thank you to. the fans because we mean it we love you. guys it's. uh we're we're not a year yet but it's. this has been. a fun journey i hope everyone has a. great holiday you know. um i mean that uh i have to be honest. with you. okay may i please christmas 100. christmas spirit. spirit um people are going to be. watching this around the fireplace with. their families. merry christmas to you and and loved. ones and may you have a jolly time. we should also say happy kwanzaa and and.

um. but i wanna say wait j2 plus is texting. me hold on. oh yeah that makes more sense. i want to say i want to say um. i don't know how long we've been doing. this podcast 45 weeks. yeah but um i remember you know. um i was thinking about doing one with. other people at one point. yeah and i just couldn't get myself to.

do it i don't the motivation wasn't. there. yeah and when andrew came along um. although my gut said no no i'm being. this is gonna come out good okay i said. no. and uh my head said maybe um. my heart said yes and. i said you know what i just for some. instinctually i think this is. maybe the way to go and once we started. doing it. um i was grateful.

for it because um i. i i don't know if that's love i don't. know if it's hate. but there's something there between us. that's bubbling. yeah underneath the surface and um. we could kill each other but um or we. could make love. you know that's the magic of it it is. you know um. but i'm really um really happy that i. did it with you. i'm happy that i did it with you okay so. look at me.

happy holidays happy holidays and your. family. and everybody else thank. you thank you for being a bad friend. [Music].

yes.