Heated Rivalry w/ Rick Glassman | Ep 306 | Bad Friends

You two are bad friends. >> Who are these two idiots? >> A white dude and an Asian dude. You two. are disgusting. >> You two are something. >> We're bad friends. >> You know I You know what I love, dude? >> Yeah. >> I love dried noodles. >> Oh yeah. >> You know what I mean? The Chinese where. they have the dried noodles and some. sort of gravy like some Chinese gravy on. top. So you get some of the like soft. parts, right? And then the hard part. >> Sounds good. somehow like like my my me. I'm hard and soft at the same time, you.

know? >> Well, you need to be soft before you can. get hard. >> or vice versa. >> Be hard and then go soft. >> Yeah, that's what I do. >> Okay, good. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> Can I tell you what's bothering me about. the internet and Chinese? >> All these Brits posting about getting a. Chinese. We're going at We're getting. ourselves a Chinese. They call getting. Chinese food. Yeah. >> Getting a Chinese. Yeah. >> Look up getting a Chinese. In the UK, getting a Chinese is common. Non-offensive slang for phrase meaning. to order or buy a Chinese takeaway meal. Why is it okay for So Brits are the. first people to get mad at people for. saying something incorrectly on PC. They.

say go get a Chinese. Yeah. >> I mean that sounds pretty scary. >> in this day and age. >> Yeah, I get a Japanese. >> That's easier. >> Much easier. >> Yeah, they're easier to catch. [laughter] The Japanese are easier to. catch. >> They really are. >> Are they not? >> Well, they're more patient. >> Yeah, they're they're like in their. suits. You know what I mean? Just out. with their briefcase out there. >> Well, you can't. >> and they get drunk. They get drunk. >> Mhm. Mh. >> That's when you get them. >> You can't run. >> You go to Tokyo 2 in the morning. Bunch. of businessmen. They're drunk. That's.

when you get a Japanese. >> That's when you get a little Japanese. >> Going to get myself a Japanese. >> Yeah. You don't get a Chinese. They're. harder to catch, dude. They're ninjas. >> They're very evasive. >> They're in the trees. >> That guy's easy to grab. >> Look at that. Yeah. >> That's such a great culture. When we go. to Japan, I want to We should do a late. night walk and talk video where we find. drunk Japanese men sleeping on the. street. >> You're the only one. You're the only one. that texted me on my birthday. You're. the only one. >> Well, clarify what you mean by birthday. >> My a birthday. >> That's right. I'm the only one. >> You're literally Sunday the only one.

None of you bastards, right? Came to my. special. Thank you. [snorts]. >> Came to my special. >> Yeah, we were there. >> But but yeah. Yeah. What? >> Who? >> Who didn't? >> Who didn't? He's busy. >> No, but let's. >> Andrew's a busy man. He's in that magic. movie, >> right? [laughter] He's hanging out with. >> You know what I mean? >> You know why I didn't come to the. special for? >> Because you have your own shows. >> No. >> Yeah. >> Carlos knows. I even said to those guys. when you weren't here, I said, "I should. cancel the shows." And then I thought, "You probably don't want me there." And. you said to me off air, if we're going. to be honest about it, you said, "It's.

probably easier if you're not there cuz. >> I cuz you're going to give me notes. >> I would never give you notes.". >> Yeah. I said, "You don't need the. pressure of me being there." And I and I. was honest with the guys. I said I was. going to call my agent, cancel, and I. said, >> "He probably doesn't want me there.". Yeah. And you said to me off air, >> "I didn't want you.". >> That's right. Okay. So, thank. >> I I I don't think we should go. I mean, you know, if there's a wedding, like if. I'm married, getting married, obviously. you should come. No, you don't want me. there for that. >> No, no, you got to come. >> I will. >> Yeah. Yeah. So, you can go, "No, I don't. agree." You know, with the vows. >> Object. >> Yeah. Object. You I want you to object. >> Imagine I object. And it's because I.

want you to be my wife. >> Oh, yeah. Yeah. You do a speech. >> Mhm. Yeah. >> And I'm Everyone's crying. It's that. moment in the movie. I pick you up. We. run down to the ocean. >> Yeah. >> We go swimming and everybody It's a. beautiful moment. Then the music stops. and everybody realizes it's just us and. the ocean together. >> God. >> Waiting away. Heated Rivalry. >> Mhm. Heated Rivalry. >> Yeah. >> Revivalry. >> No. Heated Rivalry. >> Okay. >> Do you know about it? >> No. >> The show. >> It's my jam. >> What's Heated Rivalry? >> This show is my jam, dude.

>> What is this? >> Gay hockey. >> It's a gay hockey show. >> This is why everybody online is talking. about Yeah. When did they kiss? People. are going to hockey games and going, "When did they kiss?". >> Dude, it's so hot, >> dude. >> It melts the ice. >> It melts the ice. It's so hot. I've been. watching it, dude. Right. There's a. scene these two rookies in the. beginning. Okay. >> This is where I'm gonna be a little I'm. gonna be a little rookies. Take that. off. I don't want to see that. >> Yeah. Yeah. There's Yeah. >> Stop it. >> There's these two rookies, right? >> And they find the themselves in the gym,

>> right? And they're also like, you know. what I mean? Not nemesises, but they're. rivals. >> Okay. >> Hence the name. >> heated [laughter] rival. >> Pretty on brand. >> It's pretty on brand, right? And one guy. goes, "Can I get a drink drink of your. water?". >> He pisses his mouth. >> No, he doesn't. And they he hands him a. white water bottle and he does a light. a little brush of the finger. >> And that sets it off. It turns into a. gay porno after. >> Dude, I'm watching it going, I'm in.

[laughter] I'm in this. >> So, this is a gay love story. >> Yeah. >> What is this on? >> Bravo. >> No, it's on HBO. [laughter]. >> It's on HBO. That's right. >> I'm going to call my local uh I'm going. to call my local congress person to get. this removed. >> Yeah. And here's my only problem with. the show. >> is all the gay [ __ ]. >> No, it's not the gay [ __ ] right? The. Asian one, right? When they first hook. up, >> he's the bottom. >> He comes too fast. [laughter]. >> He just He comes Do you see it? >> He comes way too fast. >> Oh, boy. >> Yeah. And cuz cuz the Russian one, there's always a Russian one.

>> Well, they're hockey. >> Yeah. And he doesn't know what his. sexuality is. The Asian one. >> I think we figured it out pretty quickly. in the show. >> Yeah. But he doesn't know, right? And. then when he blows them, Right. He comes. so fast, right? And I'm like, too fast. >> PTSD for you. >> No, I just want to see the left. [laughter] What do you mean? What does. that mean? >> A little uh what do they call that when. you have an acid flashback? You got a. [ __ ] [ __ ] flashback. >> Yeah. But anyway, um dude, half Asians. Wow. >> So, heated rivalry is your favorite new. gay show.

>> Yeah, it's my favorite gay show. >> I can't watch that kind of stuff. >> And can I say something? >> Crazy talk. What are we talking about? >> What do you mean? >> I don't want to watch that stuff. >> See, that's why I watched it [laughter]. because I don't want to be that guy. I. says, "I don't want to watch that. stuff.". >> Oh, yeah. I don't want to watch that. >> Yeah. Yeah. I don't want to be that guy. I want to be open, right, and go, "Oh, he's, you know what I mean? He's an open. book. >> He's in touch with this feeling.". >> I don't want to see sex scenes between. straight couples on shows. I want to see. shows that are more creative than just. sex. >> Yeah. I only saw one episode. I'll never. see another one. [laughter]. Yeah. I I You know, the girl I'm seeing. made me watch it. I saw the first.

episode. I was That's enough for me. I. know what happens. >> When you brought up a gay love scene, like two g like two men in love. I. thought you were talking about Free. Bert. I thought it was Bert's new show. [laughter]. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> Honestly, I watched it the other night. >> Good, >> brother. It's great. >> I heard it's good. >> It's not good. It's great. It's. fantastic. It's so fun and it's it hits. all the notes. >> It's a great show. Great. I'm not saying. that because it's our boy. >> So happy for her. >> It is fantastic. >> Yeah. >> And she and uh um. >> Oh god, what's wrong with my brain?

What's her name? >> Artemarine. >> Artem Artem. Yeah. Artem. Artemis. >> Artemis. Foul. >> Yeah. No. Uh Ardan. Ardan. She's Ardan, right? >> Yeah. >> Ardan Mirren. Yeah, she's great. >> Ardan is um I have to say something. >> You've known her for a long time. >> I've known her. She We're on Matt TV. I. know. >> Yeah. Ardan looks so good for her age. >> Okay. >> Is that bad to see? >> I don't even know. >> Yeah. Yeah. No, I mean. >> she What is she 106? >> No, she's my age. >> You corrected it by saying sexy. That's. >> Is that Is that mean for me to say is. that. >> I didn't need the for for her age part.

>> I didn't just say she looks. >> Let me get that again. >> Big too. >> Yeah, she looks sexy. A little creepy, but yeah, that's fine. >> No, as a friend, I don't I There's no. Come on. >> I know, man. >> Yeah. Okay. Well, then. >> just teasing. 52 years old. Yeah, she. looked great. You look great, too, for. 54. >> Yeah. >> And I And I look. >> I remember when I played John McCain, she played Cindy McCain. >> A. >> I remember. >> That's pretty sweet. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> Wow. Look at that third picture, babe. Third third photo. There it is. Zoom in. >> You do look like John McCain. [laughter].

>> That's incredible. >> Yeah. Yeah. It's incredible. If you're. ever wondering why not a lot of Asian. guys get casted in sketch comedy, that's. it right there. >> Why? >> I mean, >> it's hard. >> You look nothing like Johnny. [laughter]. You just like an old You look like an. older Asian guy. >> Yeah. >> You're playing your dad. >> I look like Mitch McConnell's wife. [laughter]. >> Wow. Look at how much taller she is than. you. Why Why' they make her wear heels? >> Yeah, >> you have grown since then. >> Comedically, physically. >> Yeah, >> you've grown. >> So, anyway, you guys, January 25th is my.

AA birthday. >> Okay. So, just text me how you had a. happy birthday. Happy birthday. >> I did. I did. >> You're the only one. No one else in my. life. >> Oh, it means a lot to me. >> Yeah, dude. What a friend, dude. >> And I'm And I'm happy. I was really. excited to see you today. >> Why? >> I got therapy this morning. I feel. great. >> Yeah. >> I feel great. I got a great lesson out. of it. I I used it my. >> Tell me your lessons. >> Well, I'll give you one called joy. I. told the boys today, joy. The acronym in. the lesson today was joy. >> Yeah. >> Just observe yourself. >> Yeah. >> He's like, just be in it a little bit. Just. >> stop trying to go full speed ahead and.

look for just be in it a little bit. >> Yeah, I do. Yoge. >> Yeah. What is that? >> What? >> What is it? >> Joy backwards. >> Yeah. What is it? >> What? Yourself, right? >> You always jerk off. >> I'm not done. >> Oh, [laughter] no. >> Joy backwards. >> Yeah. >> Yourself on Jeremiah. [laughter]. >> Okay. >> Yeah. What do you think? Anyway, yeah. Um, now I feel good. >> Did you get Do did you Cuz I felt after. my special I felt like um. >> postpartum.

>> a little bit. >> Mhm. >> Is that real? >> Big time. >> Yeah. >> Especially when you're writing the new. hour. I am in postpartum hell. >> Yeah. In fact, today I got on Lexa Pro. because of it. >> No, don't get on that. Yeah. >> Please, dude. >> I'm so depressed. >> How many pills are you on now? >> So many different kinds. >> Ozie Lexi. >> Yeah. Yeah. Bluetooth. Where's the blue. >> Bluetooth? Yeah. You got to eat that. >> Blue. >> He loves it. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> You do really use that a lot. >> I do. Does that balance okay with your. medication? >> Oh, yeah. >> Good. >> Yeah. Everything works. But yeah, there. So, so you're saying that there is a. feeling of a little bit of it. >> There's a postpartum special or a.

postpartum shooting, but I feel the same. way after I film anything. Anything I. always feel a little sick and and bad. >> just cuz you you you put some you put so. much into something. People that don't. know, you worked so hard on the special. Yeah. >> No, you did. I saw you every night, multiple times a night. And then when. you put it out, it's it's hard when. you're done cuz then you're like, >> "Yeah, >> it's just weights lifted, but you also. feel a little empty. >> cuz the night was magical." I mean, you. guys were there. You know, you mean? So, it's like um. >> we were surprised. >> Yeah. See, that's another thing. Why did. you So, this is what he's This is what.

these I get off stage. These guys are. like, "Oh, you're actually funny. >> You've seen him before.". >> I know, but that was the energy that you. were giving me, >> right? >> Why? >> Because you you took it to a different. level. >> Yeah. You were taping. You did it. >> Yeah. You have to though. >> Mhm. Because when there's cameras on, you're like, I have to mug and you know. what I mean? And milk it. >> You gotta milk it, >> right? >> These guys don't know anything about. showbiz. >> You know what I mean? When you're doing. a live show in front of people, it's not. that I do 50%. But you don't really do a. lot with your face and this because they. can't really see it,

>> right? >> Right. It's all about tone. >> But you're doing it big in this one. >> Yeah. I'm doing you. >> white eyes. >> Yeah. [laughter] I did white eyes. I did. >> Oh, Asian eyes. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> Yeah. Uh scared eyes. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> Oh, just came eyes. >> Yeah, I did all of them. >> Yeah, you got to do them all. >> Full range. >> I did the full range [laughter] of eyes, dude. Yeah. >> I think it's I think it's a good thing. that you're feeling this way because. then you build something new again. >> I can't think of anything to say. [laughter]. >> Come on, talk about. >> I really I literally don't have.

anything. I don't know what I sit there. and I go I don't know what else to say. >> Well, >> yeah. >> There's a lot going on in the world. You. could talk about any of it. >> Oh, I see. >> You know what I mean? >> Yeah. >> Oh, by the way, this was amazing. Carlos. sent me this. I died. There was a this. in in uh how do you say that fans? >> Khalif Khif. as Stephen Hawkings. So like I saw that. they all dressed up. Look at that. Roaming the streets as Steven. >> Yeah. >> Take me to Epstein's island. [laughter]. Take me to Epstein's island. Take me to. Take me to Take me to Take me to Take me. to Epstein's I I I.

>> The footwork on the guy in the middle is. dead on. >> It's impressive. >> You got to do a crooked foot. >> You have to have the lean. >> Yeah. You have to do lean. Yeah. Um. >> this is a celebration of life more than. anything. >> It It's a celebration of life. Yeah. >> Whoever has the best technology, I'd be. I'd be more impressed with whose. computer actually worked. >> Yeah. >> And then next year they're doing Michael. J. Fox. [laughter]. >> It's going to look like an earthquake. [laughter]. And I'm going to do it that way. Give me. your Michael J. Fox. >> Uh-uh. Uhuh. Uh-uh. [laughter].

>> No way. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> What's on your hat? >> Oh, the flower. >> Yeah. What does that mean? It just I. think it's like a Japanese like version. >> That's cool, dude. >> Let me tell you something. Show Otani. has us on lock. >> What do you mean? >> Everything is Japanese now. Yeah. Go to. Dodger Stadium this next season. It's. all Japanese. All the advert It's. brilliant. >> Yeah. >> You know, they start I know you don't. love baseball. I want You're going to. come this year with me? >> I'm going to come. >> This All right. Pause. This this guy I. think they said the Dodgers have already.

made their money back on him already. because how how sellable he is. >> Yeah. I mean, he's an he is a it's a. meastar beyond meastar. >> Yeah. >> It's mindblowing. >> Yeah. It's not as big, but LAFC getting. Sun on the team, too. Yeah. Everything. is Sun. Everything. >> Even I know who that is. >> That's how big that is. >> But that's money. It's all big money. If. they just Let me tell you something. >> Yeah. >> Knock on wood, dude. >> Asians are here. Open up. >> We're here and we're here to stay. >> That's right. >> We're here. We're here to stay, dude. You know what I [laughter] mean? >> I know. >> You don't mess with us, dude.

>> No, trust me. I'm learning Cantonese. right now. >> Are you really. >> late at night? Yeah. Uh. >> my [laughter] buddy My buddy who you. know is teaching his son uh Mandarin. right now. You know my friends. >> speaking. >> He's they're speaking. >> No. Speak. Speak to me. >> He did it this morning. What's W water? He was doing it's like. >> No, it's like it's like. and he said he knew coffee. What's. water? Does that literally say water? Yeah. It was that. >> with a little kid this morning. Cute.

>> Yeah. >> So cute. What's ice? How do you say ice? [laughter]. >> I'm just curious. >> What is it? >> I can point. You know what I mean? If. I'm with my Mexican friendsing. [laughter]. >> and they run, you know what I mean? >> What is that? >> Yeah. >> Oh, [ __ ] I sayising. Ping.

>> I'm going to Minnesota right now. I'm. going to be yelling that in the. >> ping is the cool. They would make a hit. song out of that. >> Yeahing. >> That's so [laughter] good. >> That's [ __ ] Ice. >> Yeah, >> that's great. >> That's great, dude. >> That's so funny, dude. >> Yeah. Anyway, >> that's so fun. >> They can make anything fun. >> They can make it fun. The language. >> Hey, you know what I saw this morning? What? >> I was actually a little proud. I almost. sent you a little photog. >> What is it? I saw a billboard of our. movie Goat that we're in. Wow. A huge.

billboard. I was like, "Holy [ __ ] it's. a big deal.". >> You going to go to the thing? >> Yeah, we got to go. >> We have to. We don't have a choice. >> It's not this weekend, but next weekend. >> Next weekend. Yeah, we have to go to the. premiere. Look at that there. Yeah. I. don't know which one that was. But it. was just cool to see cuz we've never. been in a real animated feature. I have. never been in an animated feature. Have. you? >> That's hu. Look at that. It's. threedimensional, too. Look at it. >> But zoom in. Look what it says. From. K-pop demon hunters spiderverse. Spider-Man. >> Yeah, >> that's pretty cool. >> Huge. >> I hope so, man. >> Yeah, I think it's going to be huge. I. will say we saw the movie. I'm not. >> You saw what movie? >> We saw this movie. I'm saying.

>> we saw bits of it. >> No. What do you mean? We sat down. We. saw Well, we didn't see it fully. animated. >> We didn't see it. Yeah. Fully. We did. see it though. >> But they showed us the It was so fun, man. >> Yeah. It's fun. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> I don't know. It's cool to be a part of. that kind of thing cuz I've never seen. animation come like that from. >> So cool. >> Yeah. 0 to 100. >> You've been working on that for a year. >> Yeah. Oh, it takes forever. >> It takes forever. Willy Wonka's here. You want to bring in. >> Bring in Willy Wonka. >> Yeah. Yeah. Willy Wonka. >> Willy Willy. Willy Willy. Willy willy. Willy. >> What's up, dude? Dude, >> let me say something, dude. >> Outfit.

>> steel. >> WHOA. >> Outfit on fleek. >> Wow. >> Yeah. Keep it getting. >> Look at that. Let me say something. I. didn't recognize you when at first. because you lost so much weight. >> Thank you. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> I'm not going to lie to you either. I. 100% didn't know that was you outside. I. was like, "What the fuck?" When I met. you, dude, you were much bigger, >> dude. like 80 lbs every This is my usual. weight that I'm usually at. >> That That's the one I miss. [laughter]. >> No, I'm kidding. No, >> time that picture, dude. Thanks to Jam.

in the Van for this picture. I look like. a goblin. >> Yeah, >> you do. You do look sickly there. >> Yeah, that's a pale man. >> Yeah, >> tell me how you lost all the weight, >> dude. I just I eat scrambled eggs and. [ __ ] exercise every day. I dance like. James Brown in my house for like 3. hours. >> That's amazing. Scrambled eggs. >> Amazing. >> Scrambled eggs. Dance like James Brown. You look like this. America. Well, I. mean, you know, you. >> like incense. I feel like you like. incense. >> I do. If I have time. >> I used to go to. >> You like things around the house. I bet.

you I bet you money, >> dude. I walk around the house naked. every day. Yeah. >> That's how I live. >> And so like if my girlfriend's niece. moves in, it's like, "Oh, [ __ ] You got. to wear clothes.". >> Amen. >> Never again. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> Don't let your girlfriend's niece move. in. Is that a life lesson? >> It's a life lesson. >> That is a life lesson. Yeah. [laughter]. >> Yeah. Why not? >> Her ghost is right here. >> Do you know Jules? >> Don't know her. Seen her on the show. >> I was of her. Are you an AI guy?

>> No. It's strange to see it come and go. because a year ago everybody in the. comments would go, "If you're not into. AI, you're going to get left behind.". And that's totally flipped. Now in. [snorts] the comments, people are like, >> "What is this AI slop? >> What is this?" So, I'm kind of stoked to. see the public reception flip, >> right? >> You know, because. >> I think it's cool. They They still can't. get green screen to work perfectly. Like, when you go to. >> Yeah, we're working on it every day in. here. >> Yeah. >> Just can't get it done. >> It'll never have the uh the human.

emotion of comedy or the nuance in. songwriting, you know. >> Yeah, that's true. You got It's you. It's going to be us. It's got to be us. Yeah. >> But there was a song on TikTok. >> Oh, so good. >> What? The AI song. >> It's an AI song. >> I know. >> It's a live song, you know, live the. band. >> I can feel it. Is that. >> Yeah, that that song, >> right? >> It was like an R&B version of that song. and I tried to find it on my iTunes and. it does it's not available. It's AI.

>> Yeah, it's fake. >> But it sounds good. >> There's AI. >> Are you scared or No. Oh, yeah. >> Cuz when I I love that. >> I'm scared. They'll never They'll never. come close, dude. I can write you any. genre in the next five. I write like. five 10 songs a day when I'm locked in. >> But I collect all the gear from like the. Mottown days and I'll record you a. Mottown song and write you something. that'll make you cry. AI only exists. because it's copying. It's a reflection. of the human emotion and all the stuff. that's trained it, >> right? >> But will it continue? Will it get so.

good that it will then train us? >> It's at the fingertips of human command. So no AI thing is existing without a guy. firing the command. So it comes down to. a laziness on the writer's behalf, right? I entered in write a song in the. style of steel beans. And I'm not like. that famous, but my lyrics are on there. And it wrote a song and I looked at the. lyrics and I was like, damn, this is. kind of some lyrics I would write, but I. would never say this. It's hacky to put. this sentence like that. I was like,

it's it's the finetuning that puts the. eyebrows in the idea. Did you say that. to AI? Cuz if you say that then it's. going to good. I'll just get better at. it then. >> Oh yeah. >> That's the problem is that people go. this isn't good enough. And it goes. working on it and it just continues to. like what you just said into that. microphone now it's being recorded. It's. put out into the app like it AI is going. to know now. >> [ __ ]. >> Yeah. You [ __ ] up. >> You [ __ ] up, dude. >> I purposely did that by asking those. questions. [laughter]. >> Damn it. >> You're done, dude. >> You got an album out now. >> I do. Uh, I didn't come here to promote.

my album that came out on October 9th uh. on uh Anderson Pax label, Apeshit. Records. Awesome. >> I got uh Troy Van Leuen from Queens of. the Stone Age on three of the songs. And. um. >> let me ask you about that part of it. Right. You're playing the guitar, playing drums at the same time and. singing. >> Yeah. >> Right. >> Seems difficult. It's like chewing gum. and riding a horse at the same time. Is. that what it is? >> Yeah. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know if you. >> chewing gum and riding a horse with the. same. >> riding a horse with gum. >> Done that. [laughter] Throws it throws.

both you and the horse off. >> It's just tough rhythmically. >> Christopher Reeves, >> that's what happened to him. He was. chewing gum. Yeah. Yeah. Mhm. Yeah. >> I don't blame him. >> So, is that I mean you you're thinking. are you thinking though or is this. organic? >> I'm not thinking at all. I'll be honest, the lame answer is it's not that hard. Cuz I played drums since I was two, got. into guitar in middle school, and I was. texting the band, "Fuck, when are you. guys going to get here to rehearsal?". And I sat down at the drum set with my. guitar on. I just went bangle.

>> Yeah. Let me see if I can do it. >> And you got to move rightly. >> You got it. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> Are we about to start the first twoman, one man? >> Got to do it two times or not less. Yeah, >> you can do it. >> I Dude, this is a twoman band. [laughter]. >> Yeah, try it.

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listeners. Get 10% off your first month. of Bluetooth gold with code bad friends. >> Yeah, that's promo code bad friends. Visit bluechw.com for more details and. important safety information. And we. thank Blue Chu for sponsoring the. podcast. You know, Longfoot's here. >> Yeah, >> Long Foot's in the house, ladies. One of. our favorite. >> Look at those feet. >> One of our favorite guests and friends, >> comedians. Amen. >> Lovers. >> Praise the Lord. >> Rabbel rouser, if you will. It's Rick. Glassman. Huh? >> Yeah. >> Thank [applause] you. Thank you, [cheering]. Ricky. What's going on?

[sighs]. >> Where do I begin? >> That's the show. Thanks, guys. >> Thanks for coming in. >> Can I plug my tour? >> There's a tour. There's a tour. >> What coffee shops are you going to play? >> Hello. [laughter]. >> San Francisco, Denver, Houston, Cleveland, Dallas, Portland, Salt Lake. City, Austin, Indianapolis, St. Louis. There it is. Go to punch up. >> He's going to be at the San Francisco. Starbucks. [laughter]. >> Well, it's a reserve. >> on Main Street at Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. The. Denver coffee uh coffee bean, the.

Houston Alfreds, which is good. It's a. really good coffee. You'll be at the. Houston Alfred. >> People say they love it. >> Yeah, it is good. >> Do what? The Denver Coffee Bean. It's. one of the [laughter] I love it. >> It's a Yeah, it's a great gig. >> Coffee Bean. I'll be in the Cleveland. Oh, they're gone. >> You excited or what? >> Um, man, I've never loved stand up more. >> Yeah, you're very good at it. >> Thank you. >> Yeah, >> thank you. Um, I uh think I want to fill. my hour. I've been working on this hour. for like about two and a half years now.

>> And there's reverb from the headphones. that are coming through the microphone. >> You can just put in your ear. It's. >> too loud. It's too loud. You put in your. ear. Yeah, >> that head was too loud. Yeah, he. >> could you bring the cans down. >> And uh and now let's get into it. >> Let's [laughter] go. >> Could you bring the can down? >> Bring the can down. He asked you twice. >> He did. >> The Red Bull. Thank you. The Red Bull. >> Someone's got to bring the can down. >> Ricky, this hour is going to be. fantastic out of you. I know that. because you're really killing it lately. >> I just got it. [laughter]. >> Ah, play on word. It was a plan word.

That's how you laugh. >> It was a play on word. >> What if that's how you laugh? [laughter]. >> Yeah. Uh, Richard, >> what if that's how he actually laughed? >> That is. >> That is actually how I Yeah. Yeah. Can I. say something? You like eccentric socks? [laughter]. >> You tell me. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> I got these at a museum. >> Oh, which one? >> Uh, it was the It was the one where the. the cows go to. I'm sorry. A museum. >> Burn. >> Sorry, dude. You asked for it. Let. >> Can I think about it? [laughter]. >> I get it. >> Okay, let's get into it. >> I really get it. Yeah. Yeah. You know,

>> and their stance, no less. >> Yeah. You know what show I've been. watching though that I really like? Have. you Have you seen this show The Pit? >> No. >> Have you heard of it? >> The show about Rothsberger? [laughter]. >> The Pit? >> You watch that show? [laughter]. >> No. >> Can I say something? >> Yeah. >> Yeah. I've never seen a medical show. before. >> I never saw ER. I never saw Grey's. Anatomy. Never saw Scrub. An any of. that. Right.

>> And I've been watching The Pit. Right. Why would you want to be in the medical. field? It's so. >> Have you seen the bloopers? >> The bloopers on the pit. >> Oh, they're insane. We pull up the pit. bloopers. [laughter]. >> Just Ben Rothersberger getting tackled a. bunch. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> Very funny. >> It's such a stressful job. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Have you ever been a mother? >> You mean the sitcom? >> Yeah. Have you ever watched The Mother? >> Did you do that? An episode of The. Mother? >> No, I never What's The Mother? >> The CBS show, The Mother. Actual hardest. job in the world. >> by far. >> Is that called Mom?

>> No. Well, the mom mom the show mom is a. spin-off of The Mother. The Mother was. an original show on CBS. >> Okay. >> Do you remember how successful Bad. Friends got after people talked about. started talking about your mom? >> Yeah. >> Isn't that crazy? >> That was a big piece of our puzzle. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. We learned. >> I put that in the special. >> Oh, yeah. >> I heard. I heard. >> And you know what? I might sue you. [laughter]. >> Why? >> It's copyright. >> YOU SAID IT ON THIS SHOW. >> I'M BOBBY Mom is mine. Okay. >> It's my phrase forever. >> But isn't it yours's impression of Isn't. the original IP his mom? No, but I.

caught it. >> Doesn't she actually say that. >> the phrase is copywritten? >> She doesn't actually say I'm Bobby mom. >> She's never said it once. >> Do you want to edit that out? [laughter]. >> Is it worth you getting credit for. something? Because people love it cuz I. thought. >> No, [laughter]. she's never said it. >> Okay. >> I'm suing. I'm suing. >> What's up with the Groucho Mark's. eyebrows? [laughter]. >> Do I have Groucho Mark's eyebrows? >> Yeah, a little bit. >> I don't think so. >> Okay. Is that the black guy from Full. House? >> Yeah. [laughter].

There he is. >> There he is. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> I think it's the wideness of it. You. know what I mean? Not not the thickness. >> I don't know what my eyebrows look like. I haven't looked in a mirror in 3. months. >> Yeah. It was a slender didn't work, actually. >> What happened to those mirrors? [laughter] You got the mirrors out of. your house. >> Yeah. >> No, I just don't look at them. >> They're there, though. >> Mhm. >> Self-restraint. >> Yeah. It's tough. Every time I walk by, I go, I want to take a [ __ ] look at. this guy. >> I want to see what it looks like. >> because I when I look in a mirror, I end. I go like this. I don't know how to do it, guys. >> That was great. [laughter] I felt I felt.

like like I had Botox or something. I. felt like I I couldn't do it. >> Hell is other people. >> Yeah. I don't know. Get it. >> Like, sorry. This is This is a. nightmare. >> Oh, I we I'm just saying. No, but I'm. going to say this, right? If we died and. and we were all three stuck in a room. together. Oh my god. >> I would cl I would I [laughter] would. >> imagine for us then. >> What do you mean? >> Oh, this is what you see. >> every day. >> Okay. Okay. Well, you're welcome. >> Yeah.

>> You're welcome. >> What? What's up? >> Uh, not much. What's up with you? [laughter]. >> That's what I mean. >> That's a pleasure. >> You have what's up on your shirt. >> You're supposed to say what's up on your. shirt. >> What is going on here, >> Bobby? No. Shut up. Shut up. You make. it. >> You make it. >> Very successful podcast when when you're. very very successful together. So what. so basically what I'm saying to you is. that no I I don't think it's me. I think. it's you. Yeah. Yeah. No, it's up.

>> It's not that's a that's a chicken. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> Bad friend. >> Yeah. >> Tiger belly. >> Oh, really? [laughter]. You think so? >> I don't know. Why don't you pull up the. analytics? >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We don't have We don't. have to have huge celebrities to up. >> What is that noise? >> Yeah. Yeah. That's going up. >> That's going up. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> So So if the stock. >> We understand We understand what this. is. You think this is grifting? You think. that's Hollywood grifting? >> No. >> Okay, >> congratulations.

>> Because he's making it sound as if. you're grifting. Why? What? We've had. those people on the show. >> I know. [laughter]. >> We're grifters as well. We're grifters. as well. >> Well, Paul Rod, I mean, what an. coming back on, but. >> Well, he's dead, right? >> He was left uh I don't think he was. dead. No, >> he was severely injured. He got [ __ ]. up a couple of times on my podcast. Yeah. >> And. >> I felt bad,

>> but he told me I could post it. And then. he told me that he was upset that I. posted it, but he didn't know that. >> He said because he was he was on pain. pills. He didn't quite understand what I. was asking him. He didn't really. remember it. >> Did he block you on platforms or. anything? >> I I only connect with him through his. publicist. I don't know. I don't think. he's on any social media. M. >> He's one of those guys that it's like. like you know people like social media. is stupid but like they're on it all the. time. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> Yeah. He's not on it. >> What's your screen time on your phone? Does it register?

>> I can look. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> I know. Mine. >> What is it? >> Depends on the week. >> Yeah. >> I I go between four hours and eight. hours. >> All right. So, um, you know, I'll tell. you. You know what my daily average is? >> H. >> 4 hours and 10 minutes. >> How do you find Oh, >> that's like my low end. >> Yeah. My daily average is 5 hours and 44. minutes. >> Is that bad? >> I think. >> five hours of your life on your phone. That's pretty bad. >> Yeah, I think it's bad. I mean, I don't. think I think it's typical and I think. it's bad. >> Carlos is seven hours.

>> Is it really? >> Oh my god. A day? >> Yeah. >> That's insane. >> What's yours? >> Between 4 and 8, but also it's tough to. know because sometimes I like I'll put. stuff on like I'm listening to YouTube. on my phone or something, you know? So, >> yeah. Let me see. Instagram is the most. >> and Tik Tok. >> Three hours of only fans. That's what it. says here. [laughter]. >> Posting or watching? >> Posting. Feed pics. Feed pics. >> Um, >> messages takes up most of my time. >> Do you think that's reading or writing? >> I can't do either. It's probably why it.

takes me so goddamn long to get through. that app. >> I open it up, I scroll forever. It's. impossible. >> It It does say Only Fans online. 15. minutes. >> Yeah, it's not that bad. >> No, that's not bad. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> What do you do on Only Fans? Do you. watch stuff? Do you send them messages? I watch. I'm a um supporter of the arts. [laughter]. >> You look young when you smile. I don't. think I've seen you look smile before. >> Yeah. I love anything creative. [laughter]. >> How much money do you put on Only Fans? >> How much do I spend. >> a month? Yeah. Do you think? >> Couple hundred bucks, I think. >> No, way more.

>> Couple hundred bucks. >> a day. >> No, couple hundred bucks. >> Do you buy Do you buy the videos like. the extra ones. >> sometimes? I do. But it's You know the. descriptions though? I I I want to sue. Oh, I know. >> You know what I mean? Yeah. Like to this. video, you're going to see it all. >> It's some girl in a [ __ ] bikini. >> But fool me once. >> Shame on you. >> Fool me twice. >> Knock it off. Don't get fooled again. Don't f again. >> Give a man a fish. >> Okay. >> Fool me four times. >> I'll teach a man to fish. I used to do. that as a bit. I think I'll bring it. back. >> Fool me five times.

>> Shame on me again. [laughter]. >> Fool me six times. >> Well, can't fool me again. >> Can't get fooled again. >> Can't get fooled again. >> You fool me. Can't get fooled again. This guy's a hound dog. >> You ain't nothing but a hound dog. Crying all the time. >> We get caught. >> You're a h You're a hound dog. >> You know how I know. You. >> remember my at my BIRTHDAY PARTY. >> YOU SAID YOU was. ain't nothing.

so bad. >> Look. [laughter]. >> I could do it too, pal. >> Did you say it looks like it's ble. Pauly? That's [ __ ] great. That is. true. >> I went to school with a bell's pausy. >> Yeah. What do you do? >> Mr. Mrs. Pauly's kid. And you [laughter]. cops asked him to freeze. He said, "I. will halfway. >> I see. His name was Belle. That's a joke. His last name is Pauly.". Still, do the [clears throat] can thing. again. [laughter]. >> He'll be in Denver.

>> Yeah. Yeah. Coffee Bean. My point is is. this. Welcome to the show. >> Thank you, man. >> And really having you on is what a. pleasure. >> Are you reading this? >> Yeah. Yeah. We'll be right back. I'm. doing one of yours. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> What else? >> I know. Exactly. >> We're back. >> Yeah. >> We are back. >> We're back. [laughter]. >> We're back. >> Uh you like going on the road? [laughter]. >> You just want to make this a short app. We can just call. >> You like going out? >> I have. I've sincerely been loving it.

>> Yeah. >> You get nervous or [laughter]. >> you bring openers? Who do you bring? >> Mike Leno. He's been coming with me. >> Oh, good. Has he really? >> Oh, love the Love the Leno. >> Love the Leno. That's good merch. >> Yeah. >> This is like a first date that is uh we. both realize we're not attracted to each. other. [laughter]. >> Is that why is it you and I? I mean, do.

him. >> He's. >> vibe with him. >> All right. >> Yeah. Yeah. I want to see you guys vibe. >> All right. Would you like to host host. me? >> I'd love to host you. >> How have you been? >> Uh lonely. >> What's going on? Are you dating right. now? >> Yes, technically yes. I would call it. dating. I am making an effort to meet. people and to go out with them. I have. not been dating like there's somebody. I'm dating that I'm like, "Ooh, I found. my person.".

>> But you are searching. >> Yes. >> Okay. When we say this, you're dating. right now. Do you do this thing where. you take uh multiple women to the same. restaurant? Like you'll go back to the. same restaurant with a different girl. >> I don't think I've ever been to a. restaurant in the past three years. >> Good. >> Uh I I've been doing that and I hate. when the host. >> One sec. I'm so sorry. It's just I was. vibing with [laughter] Andrew. I was. just seeing how that was going. Remember? I was just trying to see how. that goes. Give us a sec. [laughter]. >> Andrew, what were you asking? I was just.

saying when you go out on a date to a. restaurant, will you take a different. girl back to that same restaurant later. in the week or a different week? >> I don't know, Bobby. [laughter]. [laughter]. >> Oh, I hate bringing the same girl back to. like a different day. It's because the. host. >> because the host will go, "Welcome back, Mr. Lee.". >> Yeah, >> another one. >> But you've done it. >> It's as if they say that. >> I have a question. Is the host [ __ ] I. hate when I can't remember things. Thank. you. [laughter].

>> Excuse me. >> Is the was the hostess DJ Khaled? >> So when when a host when a host says, "Oh, welcome back. Why don't you go to. your date?" I've only been here with. friends before. >> Yeah, that's I've I've never been here. with another girl before. Just do that. And then she'll be like, "Oh, f.". >> I've gone to a restaurant where they've. told me they go, "Yo, your boy Bobby. come in here. He brought a different. bunch of different girls like the same. week. >> Anyway, let me take your order.". >> Do you go out with different girls with. like. >> I'm seeing one person now. Yeah, this is. in the past.

This is in the past. >> Also, take off your notifications on. your Papa iPad. That's what I've been. doing. >> What does that even mean? Because. because you get text messages from. people. >> You're watching the pit with with your. with. >> on your iPad. >> Yeah. Yeah. Watching the pit, right? Are. you guys on a plane? >> And all of a sudden, you get like a nude. photo. >> He lives on a pit, [laughter]. >> right? On your messages. And she's like, "What's that?" Is this my cousin. Sabrina? >> You have to make a lie. You [laughter]. know what I mean? >> Oh, she has nice breast. He sure does.

>> Do you really get random people sending. you naked pictures? >> But you take off the notifications, they'll pop up again. >> But that's real. You'll just randomly. >> I got the UF like a UFC fight pass or. whatever. I That's fine. You know what I. mean? >> You know what I mean? Dustin Mcoo's. fighting Natty Breart. You know what I. mean? That's fine. That's a good fight. It's a good fight. Yeah. >> Google should win that fight. >> Yeah. Yeah. But. >> those are made up people. >> Yeah. >> I wouldn't know. Yeah. >> That's a those are good names. Yeah. >> Yeah. Name name some [ __ ] fake US. >> I know Marcus Monroe.

>> Marcus Monroe is very good. Bantamweight. >> What's that? >> We still that was a while ago and he's. still fighting still. >> I'm into female fighting. Uh Sarah Mfino. is bigfitch. The Phantom's good. Good. boxing lineage. >> Let's talk about that. >> Her dad died in a fireb. Her dad died in. a fire. Yeah. >> Kia Sturban or Sturban? >> Stbin Sturb. >> Kia Sturban. >> Yeah. But her sister, my god, >> I when she fought Ashka Malloy, I. thought I'm not kidding. I thought she w. I thought they was gonna end her career.

Yeah, because she had her in a fourfine. >> Yeah. Yeah. The four fine was great. Yeah, >> for fine lock. >> What is for fine lock? >> The four fine lock is when the your. >> you know kumora, right? You know kumor. hold into a. >> 360 on the kamura, right? Spin it. around. But spin it around. >> 360 kamura brings you right back to. where you started. >> Exactly. They just call it nothing. >> Oh, that would [laughter]. call it nothing but they they have a. name for it. Oh yeah. Crazy. >> Her first fight though when she fought. Tatum Tatum. [laughter] Dude dude dude. insane. >> That was insane. >> Because she's a heavyweight.

>> Exactly. >> Why they let them fight in that same. way? >> Tatum almost died. >> Almost died. >> That was incredible. Yeah. Yeah. >> The paramedics were like next to the. ring like waiting for them to be done. >> Are you saying there were two medics? The paramedics? >> Yeah, the paramedics were there. Yeah, >> the paramedics. >> Four lock half moon. Have you ever seen. that move before? >> Show me how that goes. >> Right. You take both of your legs, right? >> Both of your legs. You take you take. your own leg. >> Yeah. Your own legs. You lock on their. legs, right? You look at the moon, [laughter] right? And then you go 360. >> So you end up back where you start. >> Exactly. So I don't know why they named. that either because a lot of Muay Thai A.

lot of Mu Thai does go back to start. >> That's when you you eat Muay Thai. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. Exactly. >> Well, you have to order it before the. last round. You won't get there in time. >> Right. And if you want Muay Thai, >> but Tatum Tatum Tatum Tatum does it in. liquid form. >> That's Jason Katum's son. >> Exactly. >> I thought we were talking female. No, no, it's Casey Kasem's daughter. >> Yeah, yeah, yeah. Twice removed. >> What does that mean? There's twice. removed. I feel like a cheeseburger. without I have it twice removed just to. make sure they don't put cheese on it. >> Well, you got a twice removed means you. were kicked out of the family two times.

Not you said something bad twice at a. dinner. >> So, you're twice removed. They You're. still blood, but they don't want you in. the family anymore. Twice. >> Do you ever play poker and somebody bets. a lot of money and you want to call, but. you don't and you let them know because. it's too much money. And the way you let. them know you say too rich for my blur. >> Well, if I'm playing with a bunch of. crips. >> Yeah. >> You You say too rich for my blood. >> Yeah. Crowd show. [laughter]. >> What happened to the Crips and Bloods? You don't hear much about them. >> They're still around. >> Yeah. You don't hear much about them. >> They have a podcast now together.

>> Yeah. >> What? >> We have the same publicist as the [ __ ]. and Blood podcast. [laughter]. >> Yeah. >> What? Show Show me the [ __ ] and Blood. podcast. Oh, I like that. I like the. map. >> Hey, [ __ ] and Blood podcast. See what. happened. [laughter] Imagine how good it. is, dude. >> Wait, go back to the map of LA. I'd love. to see where the divides are cuz certain. neighborhoods that I need to go in. >> This is what Gavin Newsome has been. trying to change, right? >> Yeah. Yeah. >> What do you mean? Is he a [ __ ]. >> He's been just trying to change the He's. redistricting it all. >> Yeah. >> Good for him. >> That's what we need. Zoom into that map.

That's great. The gang map. I love a. good gang map. >> Yeah, >> this is a better one. >> I want to know where in my area. What? >> Mostly rich. >> Yeah, it's mostly Airwan. [laughter]. Great gang by the way. >> Oh my god. One of the best one of the. toughest gangs in the valley. >> Yeah. I was talking about their hot bar. gang. >> Yeah. Air1 [laughter] gang. >> Shopify. Hey ladies and gentlemen, boys. and girls, welcome to the um Shopify. And let me say something. We have an. online business here at at at Bad. Friends and we um we only use the best. and we use Shopify. Get started with.

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you know why you don't get to it? Because Shopify is always around. They. share advice with their award-winning. 247 customer support. >> That's right. You need them, they're. going to be there. Okay. And also, uh, Shop Pay, uh, that's a button that's on. there used by millions of businesses. around the world. Uh, it's why Shopify. has the best converting checkout on this. planet. We haven't pulled other planets, but this one for sure. It's time to turn. those whatifs into. >> with Shopify today. Sign up for your $1. per month trial today at. shopify.com/badfriends. Go to. shopify.com/badfriends. What is it one more time?

>> Shopify.com/bad. friends. >> Quint. >> How do I look good? >> Well, it's a well-built wardrobe. It's. about pieces that work together and hold. up over time. And you know who has that? >> Who? >> Quint. Quint has it. That's what they. do. And that's what they do best. Premium materials, thoughtful design, and everyday staples that feel easy to. wear and easy to rely on even as the. weather weather shifts. >> Do they have organic cotton sweaters? >> I'm pretty sure they do. >> Polos? >> Yes. >> Oh my god. Lighter jacket jackets. >> You better believe it. >> Oh my god. They have everything then. of. almost everything you could ever dream. of. Quim works directly with top.

factories and cuts out the middleman. So, you're not paying for brand markup, just quality clothing. >> Plus, they only partner with factories. that meet rigorous standards for. craftsmanship and ethical production. >> That's exactly correct. Everything is. built to hold up to daily wear and still. look good season after season. Quinn. sent us a bunch of stuff and thank you. so much to Quint for doing that. And. they are so comfortable, so nice and. stylish. By the way, that's a big thing. A lot of times you're like, "Oh, it's. cheap. Am I going to get something that. looks cool?" Quint has got you covered. Refresh your wardrobe with Quint. Go to. quint.com/badfriends for free free.

shipping on your order and a 365day. return. >> Now available in Canada, too. Our. brothers of the north. That's quint q i. nce.com/badfriends. Free shipping and 365day returns. quint.com/bad. friends. >> Oh, real quick. I want to just. acknowledge the people. >> We know Houston, Seattle, St. Louis. [laughter] We'll put the [ __ ] I just. want to say here's a good spot for every. San Francisco. Just be as mean as you. possibly can. If you haven't written. those comments yet, just be as mean as. you possibly can. >> now. >> How do you deal with comments?

>> How do you deal with it? >> Are you being crazy right now? Everyone. [ __ ] loves you. >> Uh, how do I You are the most beloved. guy on the internet. Your show is a hit. You're a handsome tall Jew. Things are. going good. >> Joe Rogan, I'd like to come to the. mothership, but I do what you think. >> There it is. >> I actually want to come there to. perform. >> Nice. M. >> What did you What did you No, it's not. going to happen. What did you ask him? You just asked him an important. question. >> I have no idea what's going on. >> You think people are going to be mean to.

you? I ask you about comments. >> Oh, yeah. Yeah. >> Yes. Um I don't read com I mean. sometimes, but I don't really read. comments when I'm guests on other. people's pods anymore because when. people watch my podcast, they have an. idea of what they're getting and they've. decided that they like me. >> Uh when I go on other people's podcasts, I think they think that that I've. hijacked it. And they're uh they're mad. Some of them might be a little bit mad. at you, too. Why would you let that guy. on? >> We we we we like we like that people. that you raz people.

>> I like that you're a rabble rouser. >> Look at you. >> Here's what I like about you. >> You little bad boy. Look at you at your. little snarl. Who's a little bad boy? >> I'm not I'm not trying to. >> You're a little bad boy. >> He's a nasty little boy. >> You're a nasty little boy. >> I have a good heart, >> but I really believe that. I think. you're you're a very nice guy. I've. always thought that. A little lost and. confused, but. >> I think you're found. >> Yeah. >> Lost, confused, and found. >> Yeah. >> Good. Good.

>> Bobby. >> Yeah. >> Thank you for saying that. >> Huh? >> Thank you for saying that you see me in. a way that is nice. >> Uh-huh. [sighs and snorts]. I think your penis is dribbling. I think. your penis is dribbling goose. I can see. it. >> Always has to go back to that, huh? [laughter]. >> You're right. >> You're right. It's a sickness, dude. It's a sickness. I have rabble rouse. syndrome. >> You are a rabble rouser, buddy. And it's.

really tough. >> Try not to snarl. >> Don't Don't do it. Ricky, don't be a bad. boy. Don't snarl on this show. >> Fiasco. >> Please don't, Ricky. Please. >> That's what girls say when they see me. naked walking away. They say word. fiasco. >> Fias word freasco. And I say, "Where my. ass go?" And I say, "It's running down. my pants." Do you remember that joke? >> Do you really remember it? [clears throat] You all remember it? All. right, let's try to tell it. You start. it. >> No. >> Okay. Absolutely not. Yeah. [laughter]. Yeah. >> I want to see. >> Yeah. We're not doing this. Yeah. Yeah.

[laughter]. >> Do you really know the joke? >> No. >> The pee is running down my pants. >> Yeah. How? There's There's pee running. down my pants. The uh the kid asked the. teacher to go to the do you need. glasses? >> I just I have no idea what's going on. >> The kid the kid it's an old kid. >> Can I go to the bathroom? There's pee. running down my pants. [laughter]. >> And she says. >> and she says, >> "Why are we laughing?". >> That's a quicker way of getting to it. No. The teacher says, "Sure, you can go. to the bathroom, but first you have to.

sing the alphabet.". >> Kid says A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O Q. R S T U V W X Y and Z. Teacher says. that's close, but where's the P? Teacher. says kids. >> running down my leg. [laughter]. My dad got pulled over the other day. >> I love your dad. >> He got pulled over the other day. The. cop asked for his driver's license. And. uh it says correct a vision. Cuz he. needs to have corrective vision. And the. uh he says, "Where's your glasses?" To. my dad. My dad says, "I have contacts.".

And the cop says, "I don't care who you. know. You need to wear your glasses. [laughter]. I don't care who you know. You need to. wear my glasses." That's a joke my dad. used to tell me a lot as a kid and I. always just thought it was a story he. told me. >> Such a good joke. >> Yeah. >> I love your father. >> Me too. >> You tell your parents I said hi. >> If I remember. >> Come on. It's me. >> Your parents like me? >> I don't I don't know you. [laughter]. >> My parents. >> You came to my birthday party. >> Yes.

>> Yeah. >> Only private people that I know well. come to my birthday party. >> So we don't know each other. Is that. what you're saying? Stating out loud in. public that we don't know each other. >> [laughter]. >> You know me. >> Why you laughing? >> Cuz you're getting real upset. >> Yeah, >> you know me and that's why I was. invited. >> Yeah, but you know me as well. >> Did you bring your cousin? You know me. >> Yeah, I like that when I get. >> still the same OG. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> I haven't seen him in a while. >> Yeah. Well, you know why? >> He's been lowkey. >> That's right. >> He's also hated on. >> So, [laughter]. and I can't say the next line.

>> You could say that he has no wheels, no. keys, and no snowmobiles and no skis. >> [laughter]. >> What's that from? >> No boats, no snowmobiles, and no skis. What's that from? >> Me cuz I could finally afford to provide. my family with. >> groceries. Funnier. Sorry, >> it rhymes. >> Yeah, you're right. >> Got a crib full of tracks to add to the. wall full of packs. >> that I keep in the back of my house. house. Like. >> trophies cuz y'all think I'mma let my. dough freeze. >> Oh, please. You better bow down on. >> both knees. I know this. Okay, now.

[laughter]. I like the game. Give me another one. Give me another one. >> I know the game. I puke, eat it, and. freak you. Battle, I'm too weed to speak. to. The only key that I see to defeat. you would be for me to remove these two. Adidas and beat you and force feed you. them both. And on each feet is a cleat. shoe. >> His glasses get really foggy. >> You know what that you know what that. sound is? >> All the people at the coffee bean when. you're performing, [laughter]. >> they all stub their toe. >> and they're trying not to be disruptive.

>> What is your. >> That's a espresso machine. What's your. coffee? [laughter]. >> I haven't drank coffee since December. 23. >> They're steaming it a lot. >> Why? [laughter]. >> I did a cleanse for 10 days and I stayed. off it. >> I'm super sensitive to drugs and like. weed. I only do a little bit. Coffee. So, I drink now. Free plug. No joke. Magic mind. I'm I love it. >> Yeah, it's great. >> You keep bringing that up. >> It's really It's It's I take it. >> you every time I see you about Magic.

Magic. I'm not. >> I drink it almost every day. It's my. coffee. Do you have some on you? >> No. Okay. >> In you? >> Yeah. I mean, I had one today. >> How much How much weed are you taking a. day? >> I do weed probably between two and four. days a week and I take around 5. milligrams. >> That's it? Yeah. >> That's good. Yeah. >> Something low. Do you ever do the the. little micro dose mushrooms too? >> I bought them. I haven't done them yet, but I'm going to start trying them. >> Phenomenal. Yeah. >> You know what I take them? I take them. when I go golfing. >> You micro goes that? >> It's my favorite thing in the world. Really? When you when you micro do them, do you think you are phenomenal? Do you.

ever say I am phenomenal? [snorts]. Throw it up. >> Depends on if I'm making a movie or not. Uh, I love the way I feel on them in the. morning. >> Do you guarantee it? >> I can't. >> Well, have you tried doing it in a suit? >> I will. [laughter]. >> You're going to like the way you feel. I. guarantee. >> I guarantee it. [laughter]. >> It is really good, though. It It starts. my day off great. If I go out there and. I stretch and exercise a little bit, it. feels amazing. [snorts]. >> Rick Glassman. I'm phenomenal. One of. the best music videos of all time. >> And who produced this? Rick Ross. Is.

this a Mayback music hit? >> That's um a Mayback music hit. >> God, look at the hair. >> I remember you then. I know you then. >> You know, I recently had um uh I won't. say who, but it was an ex-girlfriend who. I I talked to every now and then. >> Say it. >> And she said uh I miss you when your. hair is long. I miss like your hair. She. saw that my hair was shorter. And she. said, "I like your hair longer." And. even though I have no idea if I'm ever. gonna see this person again,

>> I think I'm growing it up. >> Wow. >> Maybe for her, maybe for you. >> And Mayback for Rick Ross. >> May Mayback music. >> Do you ever mix miss your ex-girlfriends. or No. >> Uh yeah, >> you do. >> Yeah. Some of. >> you think to yourself, what I I [ __ ]. it up or maybe I could have done this. better or. >> I think about what I could have done. better in not exclusively in. relationships, but also in. relationships. Sure. Cuz I I I would. find that it'd be a nightmare dating. you. >> I believe that. >> Yeah. Yeah. With all your little rules. at your house.

>> Take your shoes off. Don't touch that. >> Don't touch that. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> I wouldn't date somebody who I would. care if you touch stuff. I just don't. want you touching stuff. >> Unlike dating Bobby. That's. >> Oh, so it's it's a personal thing. When. I go to your house, you're like, "Don't. touch that. You don't want me touching. it?". >> Well, you do touch everything. >> When I'm at your house, I'm very [ __ ]. polite. >> You are very polite because I don't. touch anything. >> Well, you know, I'll yell at you if you. do. >> Okay. Yeah. >> So, I don't touch things. He's actually. he's actually gotten better at not. touching. >> Yeah, >> because we do say that when he walks in, I go, "Don't touch. >> Don't touch." I [laughter]. >> remember, "Don't touch.".

>> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> There's a cow in the living room. Treat. it like a. >> Terry. >> museum. >> Don't touch. >> You know, when I was shooting my. special, I lost my voice the Friday. Did. you hear about that? >> You told me you got steroids. You showed. me wink. >> and I got steroids. >> He will. >> And I was really aggressive after that. >> Yeah. The steroids amped you up. >> Yeah, a little bit. Yeah. >> What did you take steroids for? >> My throat. You want to get your throat stronger? >> No. I was losing my voice when I was. shooting my special and I didn't know. what to do Saturday. I woke up in a. panic. >> Oh, wow. I. >> I lost my voice and so I had a doctor. come over and inject me with some.

>> and and and it worked. >> like four or five hours later it did. work. Yeah. >> Because you could just do subtitles for. your special. >> Mhm. Another Asian joke. >> That wasn't an Asian joke. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> But. >> or maybe get my voice dubbed. >> Is that what it is? Get my voice dubbed. >> Are you doing subtitles? >> Do it. >> Are you doing subtitles? >> I thought we were doing a bit. >> Go ahead. So I'm. >> kid asked teacher if I could use the. bathroom. The teacher says first you. have to sing the alphabet. Kid says. okay. >> A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O Q R S T U.

V W X Y and Z. And the teacher said, "Oh, now I know my ABC. [laughter]. Next time, won't you?" And the teacher. says, "What happened to the P?" And the. kid said, "It's running. >> down my leg.". >> The coffee house Denver. >> Yeah, that's crush. >> Go get the tickets right now. coffeethousedenver.comick. rick. >> Yes. [laughter]. >> Express. >> We'll put the link the ticket link in.

the description. >> Yeah, >> we'll do. >> It's going to be great. >> But we're going to hide it. You have to. find it. >> It's right by the hi ho. >> Ah, [ __ ] It's hidden. >> Which is what Mrs. Claus said to Santa. Claus the first time they met. >> Mhm. [laughter]. Oh, put the cans up. [snorts]. All right, so uh I I almost forgot to. bring this up. >> Okay, >> so I was driving like a little over the. speed limit. I got pulled over by the. cop. >> Okay, >> my driver's license says [laughter].

uh it says here you need corrective. eyewear. I wasn't wearing my glasses at the time. I said, "I'm sorry, sir. Uh I have to. pee and it's running down my pants." Cop. says, "I know that joke.". And then I forgot how the rest goes, but. I will text it to you. [laughter] Okay. Okay. Rel. [laughter]. your podcast is number two. [snorts]. >> That's why my podcast is number two.

>> Mhm. >> Are you saying it's [ __ ]. >> No. >> Just But that would be a good [ __ ] joke. if you wanted to stick that landing. You. should have just let that one. >> Hey, your podcast is great. And I hear. it's it's not the it's not the best, but. it is a number two. >> Heard your podcast is doing well. Feels. like it's running down your leg. >> When was the last time you guys pooped. your pants backwards? >> Yesterday. >> Really? Or are you still talking about. your love of the Beatles? >> I was clinching it and I I barely missed. I like 5 seconds in my eye.

>> Yeah. >> Did it get in the underpants? >> I ran into my room and it it just a plop. came out. >> So it didn't get in your underpants? What? >> And a question. You ran into your room. >> Yes. >> Not the bathroom. >> I went into the room where the bathroom. is. >> So the bathroom? >> No, I entered the room. Plop and then. bathroom. >> You pooped. >> Got it. >> Exactly. >> I have a funny story about. >> But 5 seconds just I just needed 5. seconds. >> and God didn't give me that. >> Were you delaying it? >> Yeah. [laughter]. >> Yeah. >> I like that feeling.

>> Did it get in your underpants. >> a little bit? Yeah. I want to tell you, speaking of. ex-girlfriends, I was dating a girl who. uh lived in London and my mom always. wanted to go to London and flew her out. and this is her first time visiting and. I was at my girlfriend's place and my. mom walked over from her hotel and she. had to use the bathroom and she walks. in, she goes, "I have to use the. bathroom. I have to use the bathroom.". She had only met my girlfriend one time. and she walked to the bathroom and then. she came out after and she said, "I had. a little accident on your rug. I might.

have to take this out." I had a little. accident on your rug and uh what do you. want me to do with it? She had the the. bathmat and my ex said throw it away. But [laughter] my mom, you know, took. her started taking her pants before she. got to the toilet. So, you know, so it. could be just a smooth sit. >> and much like what Bobby said, it just. kind of popped out a little on the rug. >> Embarrassing. >> She wasn't. >> Yeah, >> she was embarrassed. I don't know if. she'd love that I said this here, but I.

do have an animation. >> Oh, Ricky, WHY DID YOU DO THAT? >> I CAN HEAR HER. >> That's on. >> Ricky, >> let me ask her if it's okay if I talk. about it. Oh my god. >> She'd [clears throat] be [ __ ] living. >> God, please don't. >> She going to be so. >> I got to talk to her now. Please don't. [laughter] I don't want to. >> Hi, Mrs. Glassman. [snorts]. >> Yeah, I like that. Put her on. Mama, I'm. on uh the podcast with Bobby Lee and. Andrew Santino, and we were talking. >> Hi, guys.

>> Hi. [laughter]. >> Bobby. >> Hello. And we were talking about the. last time we pooped our pants. And I was. wondering if I have your permission to. talk about when you pooped uh in London. on the rug. >> Sure. It's such a happy, mature story. I'm very proud. [laughter]. >> Also, we. >> you could bring. >> Will you ask dad a quick question? Didn't dad get pulled over recently and. they said that he needed his glasses? Dad, what happened? >> Well, he looked at my driver's license. and he said [laughter] it's it says you.

need glasses and I said I have contacts. [laughter]. >> I thought that's what happened. All. right. I love you, Dad. Talk to you later. >> All right. >> Love you. >> I love you, >> Bob. Show them the trophy that I gave. you. Show them the thing that I got from. Howie Mandel for you. This was a gift. Pretty cool. You like mosquitoes? [laughter]. >> You ever gotten one of those? >> No. I love mosquitoes. >> How he gave it to me. >> Really? How he did? He loves mosquitoes. >> I actually stole it from his studio for.

you and he told me not to take it and I. did anyway. He was really upset, Bill. >> Yeah, but he does that [ __ ] He [ __ ]. with us all the time. So, I figured I. should [ __ ] with him on your behalf. >> Yeah. So, how this is mine forever. >> He actually said, "Is Bobby still mad at. me?" I said, "You better believe it.". >> Yeah. >> Really? >> Yeah. >> Good. >> He thinks we're still mad. >> It's fun. >> Well, you are. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> But yeah. So, I stole that and he asked. me he asked me to not take it and I did. >> Okay. >> [snorts]. >> You got to talk because I gotta go. All. right. Do you maybe want to not do that. by the microphone? [laughter].

>> No, it's. >> he it is uh um. >> Exactly. >> It's a child, right? And we all have our. weak points. I know I have plenty. >> I have so many. >> But Bobby is really like he's looking. for candy in his bag of toys. He's he's. he's probably his blood sugar is a. little low right now. >> That's his backpack. He went to. [laughter] school. >> Bob, say say um say goodbye to Ricky if. you want to go. >> I love you, Ricky. Um thanks for you.

know I mean um [laughter]. >> I do know what you mean. >> Yeah. Thank you for um attending. >> our podcast. What a pleasure. Um it was. a surprise. I didn't know you were. coming. >> Are you eating a little candy while. you're telling me? >> Yeah, I am. >> Or there's original. >> It's Milky. Yeah. Yeah. So anyway, good. luck. [laughter]. >> Take care. [laughter]. >> I'm sure it's going to be great. >> You You reach your limit, huh? >> I have I can't do this anymore.

>> What do you think it is about resist? >> I'm completely out. So have a good time. You can continue doing it. You know what. I mean? I'm just not going to. participate. >> Okay. >> Okay. >> Could I see what it's like to be like a. co-host of Bad Friends? >> Would love it. >> a little bit. >> Thank you. >> All right. So, uh, what we normally do. toward the end of the show is we think. of some of our favorite hopes and. dreams. >> That's right. >> And we give hints to the other person. and we see if the other person could. fill in that hope and dream. And it's a. fun activity to see if they know what.

we're thinking. But it also it lets us. feel like, oh, they're helping us with. our hopes and dreams. So, I'll I'll let. you start. >> Uh, something that I'm feeling right now. is a need to be in a place. >> You have to take a poop. >> All right. Am I right? >> Yeah, that's my hope. I'm going to hope. I can poop. >> I also learned um from an ex of mine. that when you're sitting on the toilet, you could take toilet paper and you. could place it on your butthole or um if. you're beas bung hole and you just corn.

holio, right? Uh and you kind of press. with your fingers and just kind of. massage your butthole. >> Yeah, sure. And then also I shoot water. up my ass uh with my bedet and then it. pours out and I have to assume as it's. coming out poop is coming with it. >> Not always. You'd be surprised. >> All right. Well, thank you for being a. bad friend.

Woo! Yeah! Woo!