He's a Rat! | Ep 323 | Bad Friends

You two are bad friends. >> Who are these two idiots? >> A white dude and an Asian dude. You two. are disgusting. >> Oh, you two are something. >> We're bad friends. >> Finally, I saw an eye doctor today. >> What did the doc say? >> He We took a bunch of tests. >> Yeah. Like what? Like a a bfq. >> No, he he said there was one word called. hov. >> Hov. Yeah. >> Yeah. Yeah. He goes, "What does that say. >> there?" It said hotov. >> Yeah. Hotov. Yeah. Yeah. And I go, "Um, amlim.". >> Yeah. Yeah. And he goes, "That's way. off, right?" Both eyes. Then he scanned.

the inner tal of all where all the like. um. >> That's only an Asian cell. That's only. an Asian thing. >> Yeah, I know. >> They don't have to do that for us. >> And what you know what the cells are? They're squinty. [laughter]. >> The cells were squinty, dude. >> Even the cells under microscope. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> Wait, get up that get that test up and. let me see if we can do it. Ready, Bob? You. >> I already know. Okay. >> Okay. Well, that's not Do the other one. you just had. There it is. >> This one. Okay. What are you going to. do? >> No, I want to do. >> Well, you're I'm closer. Your eyes are. way better than mine. >> No, I just want to see what line you can.

get down to. So, the first first. >> from here. >> No, one, two, and three are fine. Do the. fourth line. Fourth line down. >> T H V O H T O V. >> Next one. >> Here we go. >> H V T O T V H V T O. >> Great. Next one. >> Now I'm done. Q2 N. >> No, Q. It's O again. I mean, the letters. are the same in every single. >> Okay. My point is is that. >> and the bottom one. Can you do that one? I can't do the bottom one. >> V O T H T O.

>> Wow. >> Wow. >> That one's teeny tiny from here. >> Yeah. So I. >> But but the doctor said you have. >> you have long distance. >> He's got little Asian eyes. [laughter]. >> I love that. >> You have long distance. And he goes, "I. want to show you something. It's a. miracle." And I go, "What is it?" He. goes, "Walk outside with me." So he was. Asian, by the way. >> He's like, "Can I get a picture?". [laughter]. He was Asian, by the way. And he goes, "Look over there. What do you see?" I. go, I don't know nothing. And he put. these glasses on me. I go, those are.

trees. [laughter]. Like literally, I saw nothing. And he. put the glasses on. This is across the. street. I saw trees. Dude, >> you act like this is crazy science. It's. just glasses. >> I know, but I've never had them before. And then. >> this is like when babies get colear. implants [laughter]. and they can hear. >> So, what I'm saying is that. >> 19 What? What is that? Glasses were. invented in 1268. They've been around. >> I know. I HAVEN'T CAUGHT UP YET, DUDE. [laughter] OKAY. But when you you know,

BECAUSE I'M YOU KNOW, I know, >> dude. Since the 13th century, we've had. glasses. >> I know. I There's an Asian guy wearing. them. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. They've been wearing. them for years. Yeah. Yeah. >> It's amazing. >> So So, um I'm getting I don't know what. they're called, but I'm getting the. distance one. You know, all my cool. glasses I wear, >> I'm getting both lenses. >> prescriptions. Yeah. I'm gonna The top. is going to be long distance and the. bottom is going to be so I can read up. front. >> Yeah. >> Oh, so you really you'll be data. You'll. be actually data. >> I'll be data. But it's so funny. After I.

took the glasses off, >> everything seemed blurry. >> Well, Christ. >> So, right now everything seems blurry. So, maybe I can't see. >> Well, did they do the drops in your. eyes? >> No. >> Wait, don't they do that right when you. dilate your eyes? Dude, let me just say. something to you. >> because I'm not in the best mood and I. would like to say something to everyone. Not you. >> to these three. Okay. >> Mhm. >> I don't do drop by. >> Okay. [snorts] I went to. >> You have drop by? >> I have drop.

>> You don't do drop. >> I don't do drop by. I have Drop by. Yeah. Yeah. >> So why can't you read them? >> No, I'm saying. [laughter]. >> Dude, >> you take [laughter] it. You know what? Unbutton one more button. >> Yeah. Yeah. Unbutton one more button. >> Unbutton one more. Little pork. >> with a deru shirt. I don't know what. it's called. >> That's a [laughter] good thing. >> Now, let me just say something. >> Why don't you unbutton one button? >> All right. So, I went to I I called my. assistant and I said, "I don't want I.

want future shit.". >> Oh, yeah. Yeah. >> So, so they had me in a lab with. machinery. Yeah. >> And And you know what I mean? You know. what I mean? >> Give me what NASA does. >> Yeah. That's what NASA did. So they they. were able to see the interior of my eye, the actual thing. And guess what? He. goes, "Your eyesight is going to be fine. until your 80s.". >> Cuz you have good eyes. >> Yeah. He says, he asked me some genetic. questions. There's no blindness. >> Does your mom have glasses? >> No. >> My dad did though, >> right? >> And my brother does.

>> Steve does. >> Yeah, he does. Yeah. Cuz he caught it. early. >> Yeah. Once you catch it early. >> Yeah. Yeah. But so now what I'm going to. do is I'm going to do everything with. glasses on. [laughter] Even make love. >> You have to have them. >> Yeah. Because I don't think I've seen. it. Right. >> Right. >> Yeah. Everything's been blurry. >> That's where all your confusion. [laughter]. >> That's my BELLY BUTTON. WHAT? >> WHAT? >> YEAH. YEAH. I'm going to see it. He. goes, "You're going to see life in high. death. >> HD.". >> Yeah. For the first time. But then I go, "When I get 3 weeks?".

>> Well, yeah. It takes They got to make. them, right? It's got to be. >> Well, I want my style. >> Yeah. >> So, I'm taking my you mean the glasses I. wear. I'm going to punch out all those. you mean lenses and put those lenses. >> They'll do They'll do custom. >> Oh, they're doing they're doing custom. work for. >> Give me Give me the lyrics to the song. Uh, Betty Davis Eyes. [laughter]. >> Betty D. Yeah. Well, it's spelled wrong, but that's fine. Betty, it'll get there. Yeah. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> His hair is bre. [laughter]. >> Wait, don't do it in an Asian accent. >> I didn't. >> Yeah. >> I don't even know. >> Marlo,

>> what does that even. >> Marlo Gold? Yeah, but it's I just like. this part. She's got Betty. She got. Betty. >> He's got little Asian eyes. Yeah. And. he'll tease you. [laughter] He'll you. >> all the better just to please you. >> Bob's precocious. Yeah. >> And he knows just what it takes to make. a pro blush. I love it. Yeah. >> She's got Greta Garbos. Greta Garbo. standoff size. Bobb's got little Asian. eyes. Beautiful. >> She's got Genghask Khan standout. Right.

Let's change it. >> Standoff size. Genghaskhan standoff. size. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> You have beautiful little eyes. I went. to the dentist this morning. What? And. let me guess, >> brother. They say the same thing every. time. >> You got two? >> No, I got zero this time. >> Thank God. >> But but they say the same thing every. time. And she's so nice about it. >> Do you are you have you been How much. are you flossing? >> Uh. >> I said I am flossing. She said, "How. much?" I said, "Almost never.". [laughter]. >> YEAH. >> I'm honest about it.

>> All right. I'm going to show you. something. All right, guys. >> I mean, I'm trying. >> I know you're trying. >> Okay. How about this? I'm going to get. in one maybe two days a week. >> I always have. >> You do? You're good. >> Yeah. Yeah, but I've been using this one. for a year. [laughter]. >> It's the same one. >> It's the same one. >> But it doesn't even have a string on it. anymore. It's gone. >> It's the Yeah, string's gone. But. >> how many days a week are you flossing. for real? >> Every day. >> Every day. What about you? >> Every day. >> Three times a week. >> Three. >> Four. >> Four. >> Mhm. >> Wow. I'm way behind. >> Rest on the weekends. >> Yeah. [laughter]. >> Well, God needed I do one to two days a.

week because it's like on the move and. and you know what it really is? It's. usually after a big meal out. But if. like today I had smoothie and a [ __ ]. It's like. >> I'm going to I'm brushing three day. three times a three times day. No, you're not. >> No, I brush in the morning when I get. home and then before I go to bed. >> Okay. I don't think so. >> My mom No, my mom did it to me. My mom. did midday. >> What about this? Morning floss and then. night. >> Morning floss instead of. >> Yeah. The midday one just floss. >> I like the midday brush because then in. case my wife and I have a midday hookup, it's a nice brush cuz then you have. fresh breath in the middle of the day.

>> I do a midday poo. I do three. >> I do that while I'm pooing. Brush. Okay. Okay. >> It's one of the same. >> Yeah. >> But I that don't see he's agreeing. A. midday brush is really nice. >> You you know what the dentist told me? I. have so many missing teeth. He said by. the age of 60, all of them are going to. fall out. >> Congrats. That's huge. >> So then I don't know what to do. >> Well, your vision will be good, but your. mouth will be [laughter]. >> perfect vision with gums. >> Yeah, >> I can see everything. [laughter].

>> I'm [laughter] [ __ ]. >> [ __ ] I'm [ __ ]. >> Wait, what? By the way, you're just. going to get end up getting what. everybody gets is caps. Everybody gets. caps now. >> No. What? No. What they have to do is. drill into my bone. >> But wait a minute. Veneers are different. than um caps. You can just get caps on. >> No. He said that my teeth are so weak. >> Why? >> I don't know why. >> You have, let me see. You have great. teeth. >> I know, but they're weak. The. foundations and the root, it's all. [ __ ]. >> I have like gingivis number five or. whatever. >> But Koreans usually have very strong. teeth. You can look this up. Koreans are. actually known to have some of the. strongest teeth in the world.

>> Yeah. So, how come you didn't get that? I. >> I don't know. Genetically, I got the. armpit thing, but that's it. >> You did get the armpit thing. Yeah. Yeah. >> Look at this. Yes. Look at this. Zoom. in. Many Koreans have strong, healthy. teeth. A culture of meticulous oral. hygiene. Prevalent 333 rule. Brushing. three times a day. Told you. >> Three minutes each. I'm telling you, in. Kore Koreans are known for having. phenomenal teeth. This was an exception. >> This one was an exception to the rule. And that's why he's the most famous. Korean in the world. Watch your [ __ ]. mouth, Spaniard. >> Yeah, you bastard. You know, the. disrespect is out of and out of control. today. >> You've been nuts today. Yeah, he was.

came with an attitude this morning. >> I know. Hey, he was on the phone in the. parking lot. >> I saw. >> and he waved ME OFF. >> I SAW I SAW I saw. >> waved me off. >> I This is what he did. Okay. I saw I saw. I saw everything. Okay. [laughter]. >> He comes out of Right. goes towards your. car. I left a space for you cuz I know. how angry you get. >> Thank you. >> If I'm park close. >> Well, cuz the doors hit cuz our parking. spots were made were made by Brad. Williams designed our parking lot. >> Yeah. Yeah. So, I put a space between us. and he comes out and he's the the door's. literally between our cars and he goes.

towards you for some business. information. >> Andrew busy, >> right? Then I and you're on the phone. You're busy. So, I'm available and I. turn to Andrew and I go, "Is there. anything I can help with you?" He goes, "Nope." [laughter]. >> I go, "Can I help with something?" He. goes, "You can't do.". >> What were you on the Who are you on. [laughter] the phone with? Who are you. on the phone with? Hot shot. You're. being a hot shot. Who are you on the. phone with? Hot shot. You don't want to. say. >> Yeah, it's a business. It's a secret. business thing, but he goes, >> "It's something I can talk to you. about.".

>> And I'm like, "Okay.". >> All right. So, I guess I got nothing. >> You explain. >> Is Yeah, I got nothing. >> I told you you're not going to do it. [laughter]. >> You can. >> That's true. But still ask. >> But still, he wants to know. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Still ask. >> Dude, my hands are cramping up so bad. >> Drink some drink that other water. >> Like everything's cramping up, dude. What do they do to you at the eye. doctor? >> No, I haven't been drinking water all. day. >> We got to have some water. >> Okay, I'll tell you why I'm in a bad. mood. [snorts]. >> Ow.

I swear to God. I swear to God. I am. cramping up everything. >> How do you solve hand cramps? Here we. go. Gently stretch. Get some electrodes. Massage the affected area. Uh mone, will. you come massage his hands, please? >> No, I'm being real, dude. Everything is. cramping. >> Do we have those heat things you put. your hand in? Do we have that hand heat. thing again? Where's the hand massager? Didn't we buy one of those? >> I think I'm fine. I'm fine. You don't. you don't have to shake it. >> or massage it. So today, just now before. I got here, I'm gonna tell you what. restaurant, but I was sitting at a. restaurant, right? And there was a girl. and three guys sitting at a table right. next to mine.

>> Okay. >> Do you imagine? >> I've seen that movie. >> Okay. The whole table goes high. We're. big fans. >> Yeah. >> Right. And the girl goes, "Yeah, I'm a. big fan. I have bad friends this." I go, "That's fine." I go I go, "But one of. these guys your boyfriends?" And she. goes, "No, no, no. They're just friends. of mine." I go, "Uh oh." I go, "What are. you looking for in a guy?" And she goes, "Not Asian.". >> Wow. Did they laugh? >> I WASN'T EVEN HITTING ON HER, DUDE. [laughter]. >> WELL, if you say to a girl, "What are. you looking for?" Okay, >> I just. >> Time out. You said, "Do you have a. boyfriend?".

>> Cramping the [ __ ] up, guy. [laughter]. >> That she got me all cramped up, guy. >> Do you have a boyfriend? I don't. What. are you looking for in a guy? It seems. like you're maybe saying, "Are you. interested in I?". >> No, because they First of all, >> he was just being. >> Oh, you're an What's ank? You're a king. >> What is uncle? >> Unk is like what the kids the kids call. us. >> Like uncle. >> Yeah. I was I was being polite. >> Yeah. >> Right. I go, "Oh, are any of these guys. your boyfriend?" Which is And they're.

like, "No, we're just They were like, "We're just friends.". >> But that is an encline. Like ank says. something like, "Uh, man, that is a. that's a short skirt for a day like. today." That's an encline. [laughter]. >> Oh, really? >> It's an encline. >> All right. So, I did. That was an enk. >> Youked it. >> Yeah. But could she say something? Oh my. god. Could she say something different? >> Okay, I'll be the girl. Ready? Yeah. Go. ahead. >> I go, um, you have to approach me first. I'm eating. >> Hey, we're huge fans. I just want to. tell you we're huge fans. >> Thank you. >> Yeah. >> Oh. Um, are these. When are you these guys your boyfriend?

>> No, these are all my friends. We're just. friends. >> Oh, cool. Oh, so you're single? >> I am. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. What kind of guys are. you looking for? >> Tall guys. >> Oh, cool. Much better. >> Tall guys. guys who you know guys who. are like Mayflower material. >> What do you mean by that? Like who can. build a ship? >> People who came over on one of his first. couple boats. >> Oh, I see. I see. >> Yeah. People. >> like Amastad. >> People who own people like you. >> Oh, not Amastad. [laughter].

>> No. No. Opposite. >> Opposite of Amastad. >> People who own those boats. >> Oh, the people that own the boats. >> Those are the guys I own. >> Oh, okay. >> Yeah. Do you own a boat? >> Uh, a yacht. >> You own a yacht? Yeah. How big? >> Pretty [ __ ] big. >> How many feet? >> Have you heard of haunt virus? >> Is that you? >> That's my yacht. [laughter]. >> You guys are at it again. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> By the way, don't get me started cuz. I've You're the fourth person today. who's talked about it. >> Freaking out about it. >> I'm going to tell you about it.

>> Don't do a conspira. It's not. >> It's a con. I'm going to tell you about. it. >> Bring it up. >> No, you don't have to even bring it up. Don't bring it up. I will tell you about. it. Ask me. >> Don't bring it up. He's going to bring. it up. >> Yeah. Ask me. Okay. Is the haunt virus. going to be the next uh plague, viral. plague? >> Nope. >> Why is that? >> Because uh. >> because we've gotten all of the bad food. out of the way. [laughter]. >> No. No. >> He's going to take respect. >> I'll tell I'll tell you why. Okay. Um. there's different strains of this virus. >> Just like CO. >> Just like CO,

>> but most of the Don't look it up, man. >> Don't look it up. >> Don't look it up, guy. Most of the. strains you get are it from rats. >> So if I No, I'm being real. So if I'm in. Brazil, I'm just an arbitrary country. >> Seemed pretty pointed. [laughter]. >> I was gonna say Argentina, but I went. Brazil. Sure. >> I'm in Colombia. Right. [laughter]. >> Right. >> It's all. in the same area. [laughter] I'm in Peru. now. Listen. >> He's just naming South America.

>> Yeah. Yeah. [laughter] All right. So I'm. in Peru, okay? >> And I'm You mean I'm mopping, right? always mopping. >> a hallway. >> or an alleyway. There happens to be rat. [ __ ] and rat piss. >> or right this the particles go up by the. air. I sniff it. You can get it mostly. that way. >> That's how they get it from huffing rat. poop particles. >> Now there's one called the andis strain. which is the one that's on the cruise. ship which is human to human. >> So this is like if you had it and you.

were kissing a girl she gets it. >> But see the odds of getting it. >> smelling the poop. You want to leave that bit in? [laughter]. >> Yeah. Keep that bit in. >> Keep that in. >> Yeah. Yeah. Cuz sometimes we need anti-. comedy. >> when he bombs. >> Yeah. Yeah. Cuz it makes us funnier. >> It's perfect. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> So anyway, the um. >> loser. >> loser. You're a [ __ ] loser. But. anyway, >> unbutton another button. >> Unbutton another. >> So it's so human to human. >> Human to human. And even in that it's. very difficult to get apparently. >> Really? >> Yes. >> Wow.

>> Because the couple that got it on the. cruise were sleeping together on the. same bed. >> Well, they were husband and wife, right? Yeah. Yeah. That makes sense. Yeah. So, so that makes sense, right? The only. scary part is this. >> Who got it first, by the way? >> Did the guy or the girl get it? And they. got it from a rat on the boat. >> No, they got it from bird watching in. Argentina. >> I've said it once. I'll say it again. Stop watching birds. >> Stop watching them. >> They don't need to be watching. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. They need to be. perceived. You have to perceive them. perceive a bird is fine because if a. hawk is going to come and attack.

[laughter] your eyes perception and I. don't have the eyes to even witness the. hawk. >> until you get the glasses. >> right until I get the glasses right so. don't poke up my eyes hawk correct. >> right so my point is is that um they. were out you know you know these there's. different kinds of cruises. >> I had an image of you between the time. when you leave and you're getting your. glasses and you don't have hawks just. [laughter]. smashing you in the eyes. >> I NEED GLASSES [laughter] yeah. >> there different kinds of cruises. Yeah. So when I this kind of crew like I.

did a cruise with the Adam Divine folk, >> right? >> Right. That's max go back. >> Ah, >> right. But there's certain cruises, adventurism cruises. White cruises. >> White people cruises. >> Yeah. Yeah. White people cruises. Like I. need to get go to go to the top of that. mountain. >> Right. You know what I mean? I need to. see the the top of that Mayan temple. >> I must get to Kilamanjaro. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. [laughter] Yeah. The explorers. I'll go deeper into the. cave. You know the ones that go in the. crevices. >> Why are you in there? >> Yeah. What are you doing in there? >> What's in there? Nothing's in there. There's nothing. And they get stuck. They're like, "I can't move." I GO, "CUZ.

BLACK PEOPLE DON'T DO THAT. [laughter]. They don't even go. We don't go to caves. like that. >> You've never heard a black guy get stuck. in spelunking in a cave?". >> No. No. You There are like [ __ ] caves. in Asia, Vietnam, and whatnot that white. people discovered before the Asians did. >> Yeah. We didn't know that was there. >> I'm sure the Vietnamese knew that it was. there. They're like, "We're not going. near it.". >> No way. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> White people love spelunking. >> They love spelunking. So, this is white. people's fault. >> This is. >> Yeah. So they went on an adventure. They. caught it. You know what I mean? They.

brought it back on the um cruise and um. I think it's but the scary part is. somebody that was flying to South. Africa, right? Who died. >> brought it. >> brought it to South but died but the. stewardist. Is that what you call them. now? No. A flight attendant. A flight. attendant got it. >> Oh no. >> You know what I mean? So that's a little. weird. Well, cuz airplanes are the one. That's the one where I'm like, you're in. a contained space and they're like, the. hepailters are really good. You're like,

not when the guy next to me is GOING. >> cuz I've sat next to that guy many. flights. >> Oh, dude. I have a rule and I I I have a. message to everyone listening. If you're super have a cold and you're. super sick, don't get on a plane and. don't go and don't go to work. >> Don't get on don't you don't need to go. to work. If I say food industry, >> I've had waiters, you know what I mean? Super sick. >> Like, fries. >> Your fries. Super sick. It's like, what. are you doing at work, dude?

>> Take a day down. >> Yeah. Not I understand the economy. >> People need to work. >> They need to work. I understand. And I'm. for that. >> I'm going to I'm going to be the. opposite. I'm devil's advocate. I think. everyone should go to work as sick as. they POSSIBLY ARE. [laughter]. >> YOU [ __ ] [ __ ]. >> You know who does it every day? Who? >> Fancy. >> That's right. >> Has never not come to work. Don't take a. day off. You're sick now. >> But we go on the road, we get it from. him and then all of a sudden we're in. Denver Saturday night. All sick. >> Yeah. And we're all sick. And it's your. [ __ ] fault. And. >> you've got everyone in this room sick. multiple time. >> You're a [ __ ] [ __ ] dude.

>> You're a carrier. >> I edited this show with like 110 fever. [laughter]. >> Okay. >> But I bet you money if I get the haunt. virus. H virus. You gave it to me. >> You did. It's got a 30 to 40% mortality. rate. What? And there's a 21 to 40 day. incubation period. >> So you don't even know. >> But here's the good news. >> You don't know for a month. >> Here's the good news. You want to hear. the good news? >> Please.

>> Even if you have it and I I have it, but. it's it's it's not like I'm u it's. incubating. >> Mhm. >> You're not going to catch it for me. until I have symptoms. >> Ah. >> Right. So it's like if I'm if I have H. Ha. I don't know how you call it. And I. sneeze. >> What does it prefer to be called? >> Yeah. You Spanish [ __ ]. >> H. >> H. >> Sounds like a good car company out of. Japan. >> Yeah. >> Hunter. >> Hunter virus. >> H. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> Yeah. So. >> the all new Hunter. [laughter].

>> So if I had it and I was showing. symptoms and I sneezed in front of you, >> then. >> then Yeah. But. >> bring that back up though. That says the. rattia cities. I didn't say that. >> No, but look, most ratinfested cities. are LA, Chicago, Paris, New York, London, and Dishnoke, India. Known for. its Karim, Manta Temple, famously home. to thousands of rats. Considered holy. Oh, holy rats don't get it though. >> Yeah. So, did I get the facts correct. about the hent virus? >> Y. >> Yeah, you did. And can I say this? This.

is a temple dedicated to rats. >> That's crazy. >> Wow. >> Just don't go there, white people. >> Yeah, don't go. Well, that's it's in. India. >> I know. But they go they do the cruise. We got to go to that temple. >> Gotta go. >> Yeah. You But not you. >> I would never. >> No. No. No. You're You're more. >> I'm a landlocked guy. >> No. You're more ethnic when it comes to. decision- making. Thank you. >> Yeah. You're not You're Yeah. You're not. going to bungee jump. Nope. >> Have you bungee jumped? >> Never. I would skydive or anything. I'm. way more ethnic when it comes to white. mountain biking. >> Yeah. Mountain biking.

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thousands of dollars a year. >> It's actually comical. Most people uh. most people save a good amount of money. Bobby saved a ton of money cuz Rocket. Money tracks all your subscriptions. Has. the ability to cancel unwanted ones. within the app and saving us users over. 880 million overall in cancel. subscriptions across the board. Why not. be one of those people? Okay. It. consolidates checking, savings, loans, and investments into a single dashboard. to give users clear view of their. financial picture. >> It's very simple, man. You can you can. set budgets and set goals. And Rocket. Money is going to help you with.

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rocketmoney.com/badfriends. >> My point though being is I don't think. the hent virus is that scary yet. But. >> here's the thing that we need need to be. careful of. >> All viruses. they want to survive. >> They're looking for a host, >> right? And the in order to survive they. mutate. >> Oh [ __ ]. >> Right. And co has mutated many times. thousands and thousands of times. >> This thing's is a better mutator. >> Yeah. I don't know. We don't know yet.

That's why you know who is getting. upfront. >> You know what I mean? The World Health. Organization, >> WHO. >> Yeah. They're getting upfront on the. messaging. >> By the way, this does say kidney failure. can happen within 4 to 10 days after. symptoms. You can just lose your kidney. >> Yeah, it's bad. This one is bad. And you. know what's going to happen is. >> people are going to die. >> No, because of if this becomes like CO, what's going to happen is they tricked. us last time. >> Yeah. Are they're not going to do it. again? >> Yeah, they're not going to do it again. I'm going to the [ __ ] country music. festival. >> I'm going to go. >> Right. Not that it could be Coachella.

>> Come get you a rat. >> I don't want to be regional about. >> Come get a rat on [laughter] you mean. >> get a rat on a stick. >> Yeah. Yeah. And then all of a sudden. it's like the mortality rate's worse and. it's going to get bad. >> I think we're good. Knock on knock on. >> I think we're good. I think we're good. >> because I. >> I mean we're going to go into a. recession. >> God bless. >> Yeah. And and the economy is [ __ ]. >> Let's go. No, >> we got to go into a recession. >> Why? >> Because they have to go down to go back. up. That's the only way it works. If we. don't do a recession, it's then we go. into depression.

>> Ah, >> we must recede before we proceed. >> Oh, like a wave. >> We must hit the wave. >> Oh, I see. >> As of May, the US economy is not in a. current recession. Faces significant. material headwinds and mixed signals. Some analysts foresee a 40 50%. probability of downturn due to high. interest rates. It is, >> but there's an AI bubble that could pop. You know what I mean? And if that. happens, You know what I mean? Then you. know. >> I don't want. >> what. >> it just scared. >> It's like. >> who knows what's. >> Who knows what's happening. >> Are you feeling better? He said he was.

feeling better earlier. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> The head feels good. It looks good. >> Thank you. >> Your head feels good. >> Yeah. It just hurts in the back a little. bit. >> You know, I can't see a It's got I mean. from afar when I look closer I see. little redness. >> Yeah. >> From afar it looks normal. >> Yeah. I mean it'll. >> dude how funny if he turns into like a. male model when this is over. >> Oh, that'd be awesome. If we shift him. into modeling now in his. >> He is handsome. >> He is. The kid's handsome. >> Yeah. Yeah. You do stink. >> because I'm always busy and. >> No, I know. Can I just say something. about I You're handsome and you have a.

cool vibe. >> Thanks, bro. >> You know what I mean? >> Setup. Set up. Set up. >> Oh, yeah. >> Here it is. >> Anything before the butt doesn't count. >> The butt's my favorite. >> Why can't I be honest? >> Yeah. No, you're No, we like it. Be. honest. >> Yeah, you smell always good. >> Ditto. By the way, I smell [snorts]. >> I know. I smelled a girl last night at. the [ __ ] restaurant and I was like, "God, what is that? That smells. incredible." She sat next to us and my. wife was like, "That's that's Bobby's. cologne.".

>> Yeah. >> I smelled you on someone else. >> Yeah. >> And it made me get. >> I ran up to her. I did an Asian accent. to her. [laughter]. >> I missed you so much. >> She because you wear a lot of unisex. >> You some sweet. You know what I mean? Woody sweet, you know what I mean? But I. go. >> She had your cologne on or your perfume. >> My perfume. Yeah. Why do you think he So. you think he smells. >> at times your breath? >> You know what I mean? >> What I use? >> Yeah. >> Malon and goats rum. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> I don't know if Don't put goat in.

>> It's too goat. It's too goat. >> Goat. More. >> Yeah. Do more. Yeah. >> Founders are gay. [laughter]. >> Less goat. More. >> Less goat. Yeah. In fact, how about. this? Only Mullen. [laughter]. >> For a smell good set to have goat in it. is crazy. >> It is crazy, dude. >> Is there a little bit of sheep in there, too? I mean, [laughter]. >> I'm using Marcus and farts right now. >> More Marcus. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. More. >> Wait, that is that your That's your. That's your go-to. >> That's your scent. I use this. >> Yeah. What is that one? >> What is that?

>> Tom Ford. >> Tom Ford. Yeah. Um, do you use it? >> Yes. >> Okay. All right. Use. >> I come to work so stressed that I'm. >> This is what you need to do. >> You do need to chill on the stress. thing. >> Yeah. This is what you This is what I. do. >> I can't take meds before I come here. Why? >> You see me raw. Uh, >> Andrew will know if I'm high. >> I will 100% know. Well, you have tricked. me a few times. >> I just always forget to tell you the. truth. >> Okay. >> So, this is what you do. Okay. This is. what I do. >> Yeah. >> Spray on the wrist.

>> Always rub. >> and do a rub. >> Must. >> Right. I lift up my shirt under. >> one spray underneath. >> Now, do you do skin or do you do shirt? >> It's I I I spray upwards and it gets. both. >> It gets all the way up. >> Yeah, it gets all the way up. I record. myself doing it to prove it. >> Okay. And then this is another one I do. And this is a little gross, >> but I lift the sack and it hit the. taint. >> How's that gross? That's per That's. exactly where it's supposed to go. >> That's where exactly where it's supposed. to go. That's where it's supposed to go. Right. Because if you know what I mean, they don't want you you don't want them. to taste it. >> No.

>> Right. But that you want them to smell. it. >> Yeah. >> Right. Right. >> They want the aura, right? >> The aura. >> Yeah. And then um wait, I've got to. >> One on the neck. >> One on the neck. That was zesty that. last one. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> And that's it. >> That's it. >> What do you do? >> I do this. >> Two sprays. >> and that's it. >> Yeah, that's it. >> No. No. >> But that's what I because I don't you. now. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> I don't want to smell too cra maybe I. should. >> Spray some in your mouth too because. that thing What the What are you a.

dragon? [laughter]. >> LIKE WHAT ARE you trying to burn down? >> It's I USE THE NATURAL ONE. >> I MEAN IT'S SO SMELLY. >> It's the natural [laughter] one from. Air1 and I don't. >> YEAH. YEAH. YEAH. YEAH. DO MORE. I don't. eat. I I'll give you the money. What do. you think? >> Please eat food. >> You're not eating. Mone has commented. multiple times. Sometimes you'll skip an. entire day of meal. >> Smells like a vegetarian. >> I skip city. >> Don't do that. >> This is another thing he does on the. road. I didn't eat. >> Yeah, we haven't eaten all day. You. know, I'll have um four lettucees, one.

crouton, and half a shrimp. It's like. order a steak, >> have a meal. >> But you said I'm handsome earlier. It's. like that's why like. >> that has nothing to do with the food. You need to eat for nutrition. Yeah, it's [ __ ] up your breath. >> Your body's going to kill you. >> Yeah, but you can just have smoothies, too. >> No, you can't just eat smoothies. Smoothies. I've been eating uh avocado. toast and smoothies for a whole year and. nothing else. >> Oh my god. >> Oh, congratulations. >> Thank you. >> And nuggets. You look like [ __ ]. >> Give me the guy. Give me Yeah. And then. McDonald's.

>> Give me the guy that's that does the. cologne tutorials. He does like on on. YouTube. He sprays like he says like a. hundred sprays. That's what he does. >> Yeah, that's good. >> They do a 100 sprays. >> I'd rather have that than whatever he. has. This dragon, >> this guy. [laughter]. Here's cologne the right way. Let's see. how cologne Let's see how it's applied. the correct way. >> How to put on. >> how to put on cologne. >> cuz I don't I mean I guess I don't know. how. >> All right, here we go. Cuz this guy will. teach us. >> I already told you. >> the best time to apply your cologne. >> All right, push pause. Push pause. First.

of all, >> I don't believe it. >> No, HE'S. [laughter]. >> already turned the video off. >> It's too much AI. That's why it's AI. >> because I'll like turn that off for a. second. >> I'll take number two. >> No, I don't believe. Okay. >> Sports. >> Yes. Yesterday morning. >> Yeah. >> Mookie Bets. >> Yeah. Mookie bets. >> and Cam. >> Yeah. Cam the best. >> Right. They both smelled. >> unreal. >> Unreal. >> So good. >> Like when you smell Mookie Bets, >> it's cuz they're famous. >> No, that's not it, dude. Right. They.

just. >> intuitively know where to spray. They do. >> what to spray. They do. >> how to spray. They intuitively know to. put some sort of mint in the mouth. >> Yep. >> Not to offend the human beings around. them. >> I brought that to. >> Right. So, >> so what I'm say I'm I'm not done. talking. >> Well, I'm just saying for. >> Yeah. Yeah. So, it's like, you know, so. that they're not intrusive, >> right? >> You know what I mean? Like I don't want. an eyebrow burned off, [laughter] right? Cuz you're telling me something. >> You know what I mean? Do you understand.

what I'm saying? Like I want you I don't. want to get tan, [laughter]. you know? I don't want to get an Insta. tan when you're talking to me ON. your breath stinks, dude. You're [ __ ]. terrible, >> right? Yeah. Yeah. No, you need to tell. your fake pills or DUDE ON ONE. >> EVERY TIME I'M WITH YOU ON GO HOME. I. LOOK FILIPINO [laughter]. >> BECAUSE YOUR BREATH IS SO LIKE A DRAGON. >> He's had time with you. He talked to you. the other day and then he turned to me.

and he got breath burn. His whole face. has breath. [laughter]. >> That's what I'm saying. >> DUDE, I'M NOT EATING. HEY, LOOK AT THE. KIND OF VAPE HE'S VAPING. I'm not. eating. >> Yeah. Yeah, I know. It's terrible. >> What's in there? Rats. What's in there? >> Yeah. >> Tobacco. >> Oh god. I'm sorry. >> I love you. >> Yeah. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. >> It's the price I pay. >> It's the price you pay. But please, we're going on the road Thursday. morning. >> Yeah. >> Right. If you are going to eat, >> if you need Listerine packets, >> that's what I brought. >> or mints or gum or whatever you want. I'll give you thousands of dollars. [laughter] cuz that's what's what it's.

going to take. >> cuz I use the natural stuff. It doesn't. work. >> It doesn't matter. And also on top of. it, do the cologne routine and then we. won't have a [ __ ] problem. >> BUT I'VE GOT A homeless man as my tour. manager. [laughter]. >> I'll record it. >> Yeah, I'LL RECORD MY WHAT THE [ __ ] IS. GOING ON? >> ALL RIGHT, CALM DOWN. YOU'RE ON. >> All the stage hands are like, "Is he. homeless?" I go, "No, he's not homeless. HE'S A REAL HE LIVES IN THE HOUSE.". [laughter]. >> You're. >> I'm sorry. I. >> That's been pinned up for years. >> Yeah. >> It's How do you say that? >> It's not. You say it over. >> How do you say that to [laughter].

>> How do you say that to somebody? You. know what I mean? You just did. >> No, no. When you're You know what I. mean? Cuz you haven't I've never seen. you publicly acknowledge his breath. >> What do you in your mind think? >> I write about it. I have a blog. I. [laughter] write about. >> You do morning pages, the artist way. [laughter]. >> I have a Substack on it. You guys got to. read it. >> Yeah. Yeah. You got to read it. >> Go to morning breath.com/anderantino. [laughter]. [laughter].

>> All right. Well, any retorts then for. Bob then? Do you have a retort or do you. have. >> No, Bobby usually [snorts] smells good. and he's a good boss and uh respect is. at a maximum. >> Oh, smart dude. He's about to get some. checks on the road. >> Yeah, very smart. Excited. You're really. good. >> Sold out San Antonio. It's great. >> Of course. Of course. >> Yeah. Houston's getting there. And also. Dallas is there already. >> Doing well. Toronto. >> Good job from Texas. You're going to rip. up Texas to shreds. >> Yeah. So, um what I'm saying is is that. you're also being Last thing I want to. say. >> Oh, yeah. [laughter].

>> You anything? Yeah. Last thing I want to. say I cuz I I feel like people think. that I complain. >> or I'm being vicious. You know what I. mean? I think you're overcompensating. Let me say that again. >> Hit it again. >> You're overcompensating. >> Overcompensating. Yeah. >> Overcompensating. >> Yeah. For what? >> It's like cuz last time I said you're. not a good tour man manager, right? But. now you're being extra good where it's. kind of annoying. >> Oh, you're going too far. >> Yeah. Today. NO, NO, NO. THIS IS SO. TRUE. NO, NO, NO. >> Would understand. So, so we we're fly we.

fly out Thursday. >> Yeah. >> Right. To San Antonio in the morning, right? We land at 3, >> right? >> Right. He's already today going, "What. kind of beef do you want?". >> What is that? What do you mean? >> Like he I have to pre-order. meat. >> for our barbecue place. >> So they don't run out. >> So that they don't run out? >> What do you mean? >> They're going to run They're going to. run out of meat by 3. So when we go at. 7:30, they'll hold. >> Did they tell you that? >> They're They run out of meat. We're at a. barbecue [ __ ] place. Yeah. >> Excuse me. We'll order the corn,

[laughter]. >> right? And I guess THE CORNBREAD. >> THERE'S NOTHING GOOD LEFT. >> HOW DO THEY STEAL YOUR BUSINESS? >> BECAUSE THEY'RE LIKE A MICHELIN STAR. PLACE. >> THAT'S NORMAL, YOU. >> IDIOT. >> THAT'S [ __ ] NORMAL. >> GOD DAMN, DUDE. >> YOU'RE JUST CALLING THE barbecue. [ __ ] a barbecue place. >> Yeah. And they're all millionaires. >> Yeah. Yeah. YEAH. >> GOD, YOU'RE SO YOU KNOW, YOU DON'T. YOU'RE overating this. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. [laughter]. >> I mean, let's be real. Let's be real for. once in your life. Go in the middle. >> Maybe he's overcompensated.

>> Ah. >> Wow. He's got me riled up, dude. >> How about we do a hygiene uh bump then? Financially, give him a hygiene bump. >> Okay. I'm willing to do this. Okay. >> We'll put aside a little bit of money. for hygiene. >> I'm willing to do this. Okay. >> Yeah. Thanks for the hair. >> Yeah. I give him [ __ ] hair, dog. >> That's not it. That's not what smells. >> Oh, yeah. That it will. [laughter]. >> You You think that's hair from the back. OF HIS HEAD? NO, DUDE. HE'S NOT GOING TO [ __ ]. [laughter].

SACRIFICE THE back of his head. That's. [ __ ] [ __ ] hair, dude. >> That's pube hair, dude. >> I love it. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> You know what? >> Imagine that hair. He's going to have. dreadlocks. [laughter]. >> He's going to have dingleberries up at. the front. >> Yeah. Yeah. It's going to look bad, dude. >> It's going to look so good. >> Yeah. Not only are you going to look. good, >> I'm afraid we're going to lose you. >> to modeling. >> I just think I think you're going to get. a full head of [laughter] hair. I think he's going to get a full head of. hair in a year and he's going to think. he's better than us. Do you not think. that's going to happen, Fancy? I think.

he's going to be up his own ass. McCone. saying yes. I think you're going to be. Mr. Hot Shot. >> and Mr. Hot Shot's going to go, I'm. late. I don't want to come to the shoot. anymore. I'm doing my own thing. >> I'm 90 minutes early every time. I'm a. killer. >> I know, but you don't have any hair yet. When the hair comes in, it might change. your perspective. >> Okay, >> that's interesting. >> He's two inches taller than me. >> One 11 one. We It's one or two inches. taller than me, right? with the hair. might be even. >> Right. >> Right. He has hunter body. >> Hunter body. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

>> Um the face is pretty good. >> Face is very good. >> Right. >> The eyes are. >> even with hair eyes. >> Nice car. >> Nose mouth are very good. Right. >> The women like the eyes and the face and. the nose. >> Right. You're right. But also women. don't like medieval [ __ ]. >> They [laughter] don't like no no no. They don't. >> They don't like Yeah. You know what I. mean? They don't like, you know, fire. coming out of the mouth. [laughter]. They don't like, "Is that an ogre?". [laughter] And with their senses, you. know, their smells, right? I mean, they.

don't like medieval [ __ ]. >> right? They like. >> Yeah. Right. Right. Yeah. Am I under a. bridge? [laughter]. >> Like, what is going on like a troll? You. know what I mean? >> So, what I'm saying to you is that it I. think it'll You know what I mean? >> Even off even out as an average guy. >> Got it. I see it. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Go ahead. >> No, I have nothing. >> Come at me. >> I'm not trying to go at you. Come at me, guy. >> Bobby Hinchcliff. >> I'm. >> It's Bobby. >> Oh, wow. [laughter]. >> Bobby. >> Oh, no. >> Oh, that's Dude, he's [ __ ] going to. piss me off, dude. This guy, [laughter].

>> you're beginning to [ __ ] piss me off. right now, guys. >> I love you. >> I love you. >> Yeah. First of all, I love you. >> Yeah. >> All right. So, I want to say this. I. It's not roasting. >> That's not That's honest. >> It's It's It's telling it how it is. >> Right. Structurally, it's not a roast. joke. It's not as clever as a roast. joke. That's true. >> Oh, >> yeah. And and I and I I'm the one that. said it. >> Yeah. >> So, I admit it. >> Okay. >> Right. Still got laughs. >> Yeah. Same with the roast the other. night on Netflix. >> Right. So, when my point is is that it's.

not a roast joke because I'm just being. honest. >> Yeah. >> Ogre troll dragon's breath. No. Look at. me right now, dude. No. I I I swear to. God on my mother's life. >> that those three things are true. [laughter]. >> All right. So what my point is. >> Bob if I said one thing. >> as soon I'm talking I'm the host of the. show. Thank you. >> I'm the yeah yeah yeah. Oh yeah. >> Yeah. >> Okay. So anyway, let me finish what I. want to say. Okay. >> What? [laughter]. >> Listen to what I have to say. Right.

>> Yeah. How how is that how is that. roasting when I'm just being honest? >> Was not a roast. I didn't see a roast. come out of that. Exactly. >> It was you dulging your. >> What are the three things I said. mythologically? >> Under a bridge. Troll. >> Yes. >> Dragon's breath. >> Yes. and ogre. Yes, exactly. Yeah. Now, will you defy any of those three things? >> There is no defiance. There's no. defiance. >> They're truisms. Correct. >> Truth. Truth. >> Truth. Truth. You're a truther. >> I'm a truther. Correct. Right. Always. So, case closed. Case. Yeah. Thank you. >> That's not how like court works. You.

can't just. >> It is if you if you own the court, it. does work. >> Yeah. And do you believe he just said, "I'm the executive producer." Did you. hear that? >> Is that what you said. >> to Bobby? Yeah. I've never even said. executive. [laughter]. >> Are you an executive producer? I mean, yeah, I guess I I. >> Let me ask you as a [laughter]. >> Let me ask you. Yeah. >> As a nonpartisan, right? >> No. No. You're not partisan. You're my. best friend and we do this together. So, I'm partisan. >> We're on the poster. >> Yeah. I'm very. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We're We're the band. We're the band. We're the band. Okay. >> I'm on the tour.

>> All right. So, UM [laughter]. THIS GUY DO IT. >> You make the poster. I take pictures. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So, let me ask. you as my business partner and as the. stars of the show, >> correct? Okay. Um, is he executive. PRODUCER. [laughter]. >> SLASHBOOKER? Let me think. >> Yeah, think about it. >> H. >> Wait, Andrew, I can just be producer. >> Oh, so you're you're you don't even want. the title. I was going to give to you, but I guess no. So, just producer then?

>> Yeah. >> Associate. >> AP. >> Not associate. No. No. >> What's Mone then? >> He's assistant. >> He's exactly what Carlos is. [laughter]. >> Carlos? >> No way. Blue. You guys, I'm 54 years old. I'm. about to turn 55. >> Congratulations. >> Yeah. I'm about to die. But my point is. I'm still sexually active. And what I do. is I have a girlfriend now as well. >> Yes, you do. >> Yeah. And still I use Bluetooth. I'll. tell you why. >> It's easy. >> It's easy. >> Cuz as you get older, you mean you have. ED? >> You do.

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KACHAVA. YOU. >> KNOW WHAT, ANDREW? Um I'd rather have. kachava than any other meal. >> ever. If if I had a choice, like if I. was on an island, they're like, "You get. one meal." I would go, you know what? I'll do every flavor of kachava. >> You know why? Cuz it supports energy, digestion, strength, metabolism, cognition, immunity. This stuff has so. much amazing stuff in it for you. And it. tastes very good. You know, your immune. system get a boost of vitamin C, zinc, and probiotics. And I'm telling you, it. is so easy to take your favorite. all-in-one nutrition shake with you,

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for risk-free with their love it. guarantee. Thousands of rave reviews, including those from your bad friends. here. We do like this very much. It's. delicious. So take your daily ritual. with you. Now go to kachava.com and use. the code bad friends for 15% off your. first order. >> That's kachava k a c hava va.com. code. bad friends. >> No, you're trying to break me and it. just won't work cuz you've been trying. for 20 years. >> I feel like he sounds like a broken man. [laughter].

>> Look at me right now. >> Such pro. Don't talk, please. Cuz the. hosts are talking. >> Okay. Okay. [laughter] At all. Look at. me right now. >> Yeah. >> Does that sound like a broken little. bit? >> No. [laughter]. >> I want more love. >> I do love him. He's my tour manager. I. will not fire him. He will be my tour. manager to the end of my tour. >> What started this, do you think? >> How did this kick off? >> There was an energy transfer that. happened. I. >> I came in today because my hands were. cramping. >> Yeah. >> Right. >> Okay.

>> My hands were cramping and they're still. cramping. Okay. >> Um I had a miracle about the eye thing. But then that lady said, you mean not. Asian. >> That was rude. >> And so I was in this kind of mixed move. Also, when I was driving here, I was. going, I have nothing to talk about. >> Oh, it's the barbecue. He's mad that I. asked him to pre-order barbecue. I do. feel like the pre-order ask was what. started this whole role. >> Yeah. And I'm just order for him is what. I'll end up doing. >> Okay. >> I want you to be comfortable. >> Being on tour with like Nirvana would be. easier. [snorts]. >> Like it was so much calmer in the early.

90s with them. I bet [laughter]. >> it's crazier. Like Michael Michael. Jackson and his monkey or something. [laughter] Like it's insane. >> Insane. >> So you're saying he's a hard guy to work. with? I think there are levels of. difficulty and he's on one of the higher. ones. >> Really? >> Yeah. You have to really like. >> really crazy. >> Wow. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Now, the hard and the hardest part about. >> Let's Let's go back then. >> Oh, he's like, "Oh, I'm a man of the. people. That makes me easy to. >> Okay, let's let's if you want to get. real, let's get real.".

>> Oh, we haven't been real this whole. >> Oh, no. Because I was kidding about. that. You don't smoke. >> That's [laughter] such gaslighting. >> You're a [ __ ] gaser. >> I did that for comedy reasons. It's a. comedy podcast. Yeah. Ogres do not smell. like. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> Yeah. Dragons don't exist. >> Yeah. Yeah. Dragons don't exist. >> These are actually [laughter] all. mythological creatures. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> Yeah. Cherubs, mermaids, all fake. Such. a gas. >> Yeah. That's That's not gaslighting. That's a trueism. >> There is no dragons. >> There is no dragons. Is a truth. >> Yeah. There's no. >> is the truth.

>> That's the truth. Truth, right? >> So, take it back. >> There trolls. There are [laughter] some. mythological evidence. >> Yeah. Give or take. >> Give or take. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But. anyway, I was in justest saying these. things for comedy purposes at one point. or another. You took it personally. >> There was a personal take. I called you. those names. >> Yeah. Yeah. And then you snapped. >> You got angry. >> Snap. If I snapped, Andrew would legit. be like, "Get the [ __ ] out of here.". >> No, no, no. I would let you have your. peace. If you want to say your piece, you can say your piece. >> That's how you lose your job. I. >> No, no, no. You can't lose your job. I.

was just doing it in just Of course you. don't breath a dragon. [laughter]. >> You can't even say it. >> Yeah. Yeah. and know all that stuff, right? >> I was just giving, you know, light hints. of maybe, you know, I mean, suggestions. >> Small stuff. >> Yeah, small stuff. And you took it. personally. >> I wish that as my friend, you would just. tell me the truth and that you were. trying to break it. >> Would you rather him tell you the truth, not on the air? >> No, on the air. >> You want it on the air? >> You want on the air? >> Cuz it's because you wanted. >> Okay, I will tell you the truth on the. air then. Right. You have dragon's. breath. [laughter].

>> All right. You smell like an ogre and a. troll. >> Yeah. and all the things I I can't. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> back. Yeah. Yeah. >> You can fight back. >> You can fight back. >> No. >> So, let me ask you. I'm difficult on the. road. I'm like like Michael Jackson and. the bubbles or whatever you want. >> He said you were like bubbles. >> So, what's my writer? >> Um, Smart Water. >> No, no, it's not. It's not Smart Water. >> Sugar-free Red Bull. >> I have two I have two things on my. writer. >> Okay. >> All right. Tell me what they are.

>> Water. >> Yeah. >> And Sugar-free Red Bull. >> I just said smart water and sugar. Those. are the only two. >> Yeah. >> What is Michael Jackson's writer? >> Oh, it's like all like the nine-year-old. boy. >> Yeah. I mean, no, don't say [laughter]. that. No, but I'm just saying. >> Okay. That is not his writer. >> I mean, but what's you know what I mean? You two's writer. >> It's not about the writer. >> Yes, it is. It's about what the tour. manager has to do. >> to make the artist happy. Mine's basic. I want a stool on stage. Yep. >> Right. I want a meal. >> Yeah. >> Right. I want to pay my openers. >> Mhm.

>> And and I also want Red Bull and water. That's it. >> That's it. I don't want to STIR. ANYTHING, BUT [screaming]. >> ALL RIGHT. WAR. >> IT SOUNDS LIKE IT'S COMING. >> He actually said that Bobby is so cool. on the road that who you know he thinks. Andrew is really really difficult. >> I And you know that you've said that to. me before. >> No, y'all are very different. [laughter]. And answer. >> You've said that to me before. >> I would never. >> Yes, you have. >> I would literally. No, I would literally. NEVER SAY THAT BECAUSE YOU'RE SUCH A. [ __ ] RAT. >> YOU'RE [laughter] SUCH A RAT THAT I.

WOULD NEVER SAY THAT. YOU'RE SAYING THIS. NOW BECAUSE YOU KNOW THE [ __ ] FIRE. >> THAT'S WHY I WOULD NEVER SAY IT BECAUSE. YOU'RE SUCH A RAT. >> YOU THINK I'M the rat? >> He's the rat. >> I WOULD NEVER CALL if. >> I would never call. >> Yeah. Yeah. [laughter]. >> Andrew. Look at me right now. Be quiet. >> I call it for him. >> All right. Listen to me right now. Okay. >> You have to be more on top of things. >> Yeah. I'm We're good. >> No, I'm not worried about you and me. I'm worried about me and Andrew. >> I know. I understand. It's good. It's.

real good. >> No, it's not. >> Yeah, it's good. It's also my [laughter]. >> Yeah. Yeah, it's good. You know what I. mean? It's good. Let me look at my my. friend here. >> Yeah. >> Hello. >> Hi, man. >> Yeah. Don't take it personally. >> Hit me. >> Okay. Um, >> you're ready for a [ __ ] lie. >> Okay. Let's make play play fair. Fair. >> Play fair. >> What? What Andreas said. >> Mhm. >> What did he say? >> That I'm more difficult on the road than. you. >> Okay. Did I say that? >> You did not. No. Those facts are facts.

>> Fancy said that. Said that. Carlos. [snorts] said that. >> Yeah. >> Behind my back. >> I've never. >> Yeah. Yeah. So, so. >> listen here, Dragon Boy. [laughter]. >> I have never fought music ever. >> So, it's very interesting to me. You. know what I mean? I'm getting the heat. because I'm the easier target than he. is. >> Welcome to my life. It's like we're. mirror images. >> I I I know. So, what I'm saying is that. you're he's scarier than I am. Yeah. So, you have to stay on top of it with him.

>> Yeah. Okay. So, you treat me shittier. You do because you're afraid of him. >> This is. >> Let's be real. Let's be real for once. >> That's not true. I'm not frustrated with. Andrew in the slightest. And it's not. redirected to you. That's insane. I like. working with Andrew. >> Not anymore. [laughter]. >> Hey, brother. We're going to be needing. to look for a new tour manager as the. run I have right now is a dragon breath.

troll ghoul. Please, >> I'm calling mine live. >> Matt, >> no. Abby, >> I'm kidding. I It was I didn't text. >> I'm doing for real. >> I would never do that. >> Carlos is obviously. >> Andre, please. Hi, it's Bob. >> Bob. >> Yeah, one of your clients. Bob Lee. >> What's up? >> What's up? [snorts] Um, I just want to.

let you know um you're on Bad Friends. right now. [sighs]. >> I am? >> Yeah, but don't you're not going to say. anything bad. I'm just going to let you. I'm going to say I'll do all the talking. and then you just and then I'm going to. hang out. >> Do they hear me this part? >> Yeah, they're hearing you talk. Yes, but. you don't have to Yeah, but you don't. have to talk anymore. Does she know what. a podcast is? [laughter]. >> Yeah. Okay. All right. All right. So, here's here's All right. >> Um, my tour manager has dragon's breath. Don't say anything. All right. Smells.

like a troll in an ogre. Right. If I. looked at my um my writer, none of the. [ __ ] that's in my dressing room is in. like the fruit play. >> Not true, Abby. >> Yeah. Yeah. Don't. >> And I want to let you know, but this. tour [clears throat] is fine, but the. next tour I do, he's out. Okay. >> I love him. Thank you. >> Okay. Bye. [laughter]. >> There's always. >> She's fired. She's fired. >> She's fired. >> I will say this. >> Yes. >> The fact that you went behind my back. >> It's insane. That.

>> and told Fancy. And McCone. Did he tell. you? >> Did he tell you? Mone didn't hear this. >> No. McCon. closer to the mic. >> McCone, have you ever tour managed? >> Uh, no. But I've seen a lot of. >> Well, you're about to. mone, you've told me this before. Okay. And I want you to be on on the record, right? Who's scarier, Andrew or I? >> Andrew. Yeah. >> Okay. Good. >> That's good. That's the way I. >> All right. But you have said that. before. >> But fear doesn't make me talk [ __ ] about.

him. >> Or does it? >> It does. Or or. >> No, I'm so much [laughter]. I don't tell you anything, Bob, cuz you. would tell everyone my business. >> Oh, I'm a gossiper. Interesting. I'm a. gossiper. I'm a witch. >> Yeah, you are. >> Salem's rich witch trial. Huh? You're. >> Wow. >> Well, I'm You know what's unfortunate, Carlos? I will be honest with you right. now. >> We love you. >> No, not yet. >> Okay. >> I thought, man, I make it real easy on. Carlos. I don't ask for much, but the.

simple things. >> You don't. >> I just want water and popcorn backstage. before [laughter] I go on. >> And you always have it. >> It's crazy. >> And I just think I don't ever call you. and bug you and say, "Give me this, give. me that, I need, I need this, I need. that.". >> Yeah. And. >> and also. >> for you to go behind my back. >> y. >> and tell fancy I'm difficult to deal. with on the road breaks my heart. >> and quite frankly. >> praise the Lord. >> I think I think that's it for us on the. road. >> This is sad that we're going to end over.

lies from our. >> Who's lying? FY [snorts] lying. >> I think Fancy is having a hallucination. from his one of his many colds. >> Are you lying? >> Yes. >> It's a fever dream. >> I'm lying. >> No, you're lying about lying now. So now. there's layers of lies. So now I can't. believe anybody in the booth. >> Yeah. >> So now we have a booth full of liars. >> They've always have been liars. >> Who's to believe now? >> No one. >> No. You're in no one to believe. >> So you are the only person I can. believe. So we have we have I can't. believe you. Don't believe me either. >> Okay. Well, >> yeah. Yeah. This is Game of Thrones. >> Oh [laughter] no. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> And whom is the dragon? >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Right there. I'm Kesi.

>> You know, for the record, I defended. you. I don't think you have bad breath. And I don't think you smell bad. Thank. you, brother. >> Yeah. I don't either. It was just a. joke. lies. >> The room full of lies. [laughter]. >> Yeah. Yeah. I'm a liar as well. >> Gosh, how do we get away from this? >> I don't know. >> Well, let me tell you something though. In all honesty, all jokes aside, >> all jokes aside, >> I love you dearly, Carlos. >> I do, too. >> But I will not be touring with you in. the future. >> He got a good beating today. >> Mhm. >> I took it like a like a. >> You know what the worst part of all this. is? >> What is it?

>> This is like an [clears throat] ex that. we have a kid with. >> We still have to see these people. >> What do you mean? You and I had a baby. Yes. This show is our baby. >> Yeah. And that's our child. >> No, no, no. That's that's that's the. that's our ex. These people are these. are ex Yeah. Yeah. >> And now we have to see them because to. create to keep the baby happy, we have. to see our exes, >> right? That's exactly what it is. >> And they're all of our exes. >> Yeah. I do that on Tiger Belly. [laughter].

[laughter]. >> A grand slam. >> A literal grand slam. >> Yeah. And that's what it is over here. >> Yeah. >> I'm disappointed. >> I'm disappointed, too. If you The way. you framed it. >> makes me disappointed. But I guess, you. know, >> I guess that's the way it is. >> The panic. Remember, what did I say. before? I went in hot, right? >> Mhm. >> And what did I say? When I walk through. the store, >> you have nothing to talk about. >> Exactly. But you know what that really. means?

>> I got something to say. >> I have to see my ex. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Toxic behavior. >> Yeah. Yeah. I have to see my ex and I. have to pretend everything's, you know, >> cool. You know what I mean? >> Yeah. >> So, it's like um. >> be cooler. >> Be cooler. >> That's great advice. >> Yeah, it's good advice. Right. >> Thank you, man. >> Yeah. >> And when you walk and when you walk out. of the door, right, don't go just to. Andrew, tell me some business. >> Okay. >> Lie to me. I I I just want to say this, okay? >> Yeah. >> And this is the truth of the matter. >> You're a great boss, man. I love you.

>> Okay. [laughter] Okay. This is the truth. of the matter. Okay. I'm going to I'm be. honest with you. didn't tell me I'm a. good boss. >> Tell Andrew He didn't say that. >> Thank you. >> He loves you. >> Thank you. >> Fancy. >> He didn't say that. >> Say you swear on your daughter's life. He didn't say that. >> SAY [laughter]. >> you swear on your daughter's life. >> On your daughter's life. >> Say it. >> No. No. No. Don't. >> No. No. No. Don't. You can't. What. you're saying, even if you're crossing. your little toes and your fingers and.

you're thinking something else, right? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. This is true, right? Say on your daughter's life that he. didn't say that. >> He didn't. >> On your on my daughter's life. Say that. Say he didn't say that on my daughter's. life. >> He didn't say that on my daughter's. life. Let's go. >> Okay. >> Okay. >> You get a phone call right now. Your. wife is like, "She's dead.". >> Yeah. [laughter]. >> I I can't believe you would let your. daughter die. [laughter].

>> Crazy. So crazy. >> for just the show. >> Yeah, just for the show. Yeah, >> that's to give the show. [laughter]. >> Wow. >> Call the hospital. >> Wow. Wow. >> Call the hospital right now. >> Call the hospital. Yeah. >> Um I believe here's the deal. Here's the. deal. >> There's a lot of bits. We're doing. >> We're lot doing a lot of bits. I was. ripping on you and and here's the honest. truth. Even with my notoriety. and some of my income, right, I still. don't do better than you when it comes. to the ladies. And historically, I.

haven't. Mhm. >> So maybe it's a little bit my of my. >> Yeah. So. >> you still have dragon's breath. [laughter]. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> I'm doing the camera. >> You still have that. You still have all. those things. But still historically. you've always done better than me when. it comes to the attraction of the. opposite sex. So but dragons breath ogre. troll. Thank you for being a bad friend.

Woo! Woo! Woo!