Fish Butt Dog & White Eyes Bucko | Ep 227 | Bad Friends

hey we're going to Australia you that is. such a good accent Dan andite Dan andite. Sydney Brisbane Auckland Melbourne. Adelaide Perth and also adding shows. we're adding shows we're adding shows. we're adding seats bigger theaters. bigger theaters we want to see you guys. so come buy our tickets come see us go. to badf friends pod.com badri pod.com. and also at badri merch.com we have this. beautiful shirt designed by this kid. yours I love this album but I always. thought the the baby should be me and it.

is you now it is me now it's a little. baby Bobby it's a legendary album and I. think you should get this shirt so go to. bad friends merch.com badf friends. merch.com you two are bad friends who. are these two idiots white dude and. Asian dude you two are. disgusting you two are something we're. bad friends this is not this is not a. play you know what I mean this is not. like you got to get in the costume your. feelings I mean this is I'm playing me.

Bobby Lee yeah this will go in the show. you know here's the thing you don't want. to wear your own merch because right now. I don't because it's his town If he if. he said hey as an option I would have. done it who said that this guy but if he. was he forced it like yo sew those Nikes. back in the sweat shop days that's what. he said you know what I mean like Kathy. Lee gford attitude attitude made those. kids SE those Nikes yeah yeah sew those. Nikes I'm Not sewing Nikes for you white. man Bobby would you wear your not. anymore that it's over now that that's.

over going make money off by we're going. to sell it. out we're going to sell it. out you're doing white eyes on me yeah. I'll do white eyes all day to you dude. we're going to sell them out all right. buddy all right bucko cuz you love the. whites huh Okie doie. bucko your attitude too I come in here. dude frown face negative you I mean. aggressive not nice projecting. projecting exactly you're projecting it.

onto me no he's saying you're projecting. it you're projecting onto me your bad. energy dude what did I. do what did I say you earlier I was. sitting there you go what do you what's. your Vibe about or some some aggressive. thing what did I say I. forgot I didn't like. it oh welcome back Rudy. Jud we oh we love you my God it's family. coming home it's so long it's been so.

long and what you been up to where have. you been um I lost my passport and. Visa so you came crawling back to bad. friends can someone please get me. passport and visa when when does it run. out I don't know cuz it got stolen so. I'm basically. illegal oh so we can call somebody right. now and get you in trouble yeah call I'm. calling call Daman you know Daman from. ins can you can you phone on them no.

it's got to be email that's not. efficient no wonder we got so many. illegals in this country hey forget. about it forget about it all right so. who stole your passport who do you think. stole your passport where did you get it. what nothing go for it you blame me why. would I blame you who stole it who stole. it no I was I was just going to say some. like random say somethingand how did you. lose it what day did you know it was. gone it was on June 3rdd it says it got.

delivered by the front door and then. when I I arrived at 5:00 p.m. it arrived. at 2:00 p.m. and so when I arrived at. the house I just saw the envelope. already open whose house at his house no. your house your house someone stole. it no that's not a Filipino. passport he's sacrificing his own yeah. wow that's that's good immigrant dud. that's good immigrant stuff dude yeah so.

we're going to what are you show throw. it to me are you showing off you know. how funny that is that. you're close wow dude does this me wait. oh this is. mcon damn dude that's such a bad photo. that is such a stupid photo of you I you. know I'm going to be positive I haven't. seen it yet but I love you dude I want. to be positive I'm going to be real with. you dude all right take it. out so. good dude honestly how many tries no.

tries no tries you said the first you. said the first take was good they only. give you one try mhm yeah yeah dude let. me just say. something. what do you know how to smile on command. no this was no he was like one half. yeah I'm a CO I'm from. Minnesota I'm an. American how do we get back your. passport I have to appla all over again.

I have to apply for my tourist visa my. student visa and my passport well we're. we're going to try to help you here. sounds like you need us more than you. ever thought yeah yeah but can I just. say something yeah go ahead why is it so. unfair that for a Filipino passport you. can only go to like certain countries. and for a USA passport you can literally. go anywhere USA USA us that's why bud. that's why bud we have a good chance we. have a good chance you can't chance.

Filipino. Filipino it doesn't work but I want to. go like where do you want to go like to. Europe no they don't want you though. that's the problem they don't want you. they don't want you baby we have enough. what we have enough we have enough yeah. yeah yeah wow that seemed a little too. real but do they have hospitals in. Europe no they don't no well then they. don't want you yep hotels and hospitals. even to go to Japan I need a visa for. Japan yeah yeah yeah the Japanese are.

weary they're weary of you and why. wouldn't when you're. weary feeling down when tears are in. that's the Japanese oh that's not even. Japanese why we there it is when you're. we we feing aside when a tear in your. eye right I don't know the rest very. good thank you so much what have you. been up to you nerd are you still dating. that guy.

yeah he is yeah I me wa and we [ __ ]. already Jesus Wa dude that's an easy way. to say it like but why did you buy. another oh God [ __ ] what are you talking. about lady you was cleaning you bought. three more jerk machines mhm wow why. like I I I'll tell you why and you know. I I i' I've been at okay so check this. out okay Western Bagel just listen to. what I'm saying no listen to my logic.

here I know sex to no no they don't they. don't just let listen to my logic okay. Western Bagel Noah's Bagels right. there's a bunch of bagels places I go. every day different varieties every day. different right right cuz I like a. change and I like different you know. companies that make certain things so my. my point is is that you know you don't. watch just one. movie right like if I watched a quiet. place day one a thousand times that' be. bored you know that's a day a thousand.

for me right this makes sense it makes. complete right so I okay what I'm saying. is I like a variety of things and I'm. going to tell you this too I found the. brand that I'm going to stick with I. found my diet coke I found my diet coke. wow yeah yeah so clap for that and and. that was the reason why I know the brand. and I found the thing is because I tried. all the other ones right and I compared. kind of like you kind of like you you. tried girls and guys and you found what. you liked now his is machines he likes. sex machine I love machines he's a big.

machinist Lola that's what her name is I. named her yeah Lola and I kiss I was it. first and they kiss it I go good night. Lola and put it yeah does it respond. by so anyway you're you're you're what. are you now what are you done with. school no I'm already a senior in. college oh that's great God and I. graduate next year amazing oh my god. dude that's so weird on this show the. course the show you went through college.

I was in high school when I started you. were a senior in high school here when. you started is that incredible yeah and. now look at you now you're old and. Haggard you do look older you do look. older yeah you do you look Haggard yeah. when I first saw you I thought it was. Kila K what you and oh Rudy I'm not. kidding yet that's a compliment well. okay depend on who yes yeah so um anyway. you do look older and your face I can. tell what stop you're going to say I'm I.

got fat no you're never going to get fat. no yes you will I know. yeah I know yeah but your I can tell now. the evolution of your face and it's. going to get scruncher and scruncher and. it's going to be like a [ __ ] box like. like. yours yes I have a scrunchy face yeah. okay and I I'm that hurts so bad but I. be so nice to her because I want her to.

come back so you're right I have a. scrunchy face okay I have to ask you. something you have a girl that cleans. your house that isn't this girl what are. you doing I I need reposition yeah you. have a girl that cleans your house it's. not this. girl and somebody cleans your house and. you gave her a bunch of merch from the. fully loaded to. her how do I know this how do you know. this do you know how insane this is yeah. how do you know this dude this is such.

like this the world is so small oh my. God so my cousin who you. know his friend is staying with someone. who cleans your house that's not that's. not what happened he sent me a text Mage. and he goes Bobby gave away all his. fully loaded merch and he and her bed. was a display of Osos poor. O that's not what happened yes it is I'm. going to tell you how that happened how. happen Okay number one you get when you. get a gift bag you don't want all of it.

m so I. Puck it start over when you get a gift. bag right you. don't okay I picked the I picked the. ones I wanted and you gave the rest to. so there's two things I wanted all right. the you know the the Apple ear. headphones great great great the little. button I like it right there was a neck. thing where it blows air into your neck. love you have one of those yeah they're. the best they're the best they're the. best okay and then the rest I was like I.

I don't need it so you gave it to that's. not what happened so I called Janna. she's my emergency right so she's my. number one but lately she doesn't want. to clean my house anymore you don't you. you it's you it's you and you know it no. I keep it's you and you know it and. let's let go let's go past it all right. it's you and you know it let's go past. it okay but I love you like a family. okay but you I can tell you don't want. to do it as often and it's fine so I've. had to resort to other things I have.

Hispanics right so that's my number one. two good my number three is Jenna she. sounds white but she's not right she's. not she's not Mexican thank you kept in. the Hispanic family then exactly so why'. you exclude her from. Hispanics because there's two different. kinds right right and she goes I can't. do it but because I'm seeing somebody. yeah and. she she keeps saying how nasty my house. is MHM okay because of Ming oh you know.

yeah pees on everything right right and. Jen Jenna goes I can't do it so then she. goes I have a friend you remember bloop. bloop and I go I don't know well bloop. bloop is available I go who's bloop. bloop and she's like well she's. trustworthy she comes over now I had. gotten the box from the BR thing and I. had you know when you get a box you. don't fold things you do this yeah dig. through it you dig through it and I. throw right I'm digging through it right. oh earphone dick neck you know dig dig.

so it was like an ID went off in there. she comes over and I go you got to. organized she goes oh and I go but you. know what just throw it away she goes uh. well I can take it I go you want this. stuff great stuff by the way great. company Os Os yeah OS whatever porosos. right great company and great tour and. great people I'm just not going to wear. it because you know I mean and I want to. promote liquor right mhm right smart.

very smart let her promote it so she. goes she took it all yeah and that's the. last I thought I would ever hear from it. until now it's amazing how the world. goes around isn't that crazy how small. the world is C the other day you know. what I ran to your family yeah you did. I'm at a coffee shop right and then I. hear hey I look over it's your a family. member of yours it's my sister yeah I. don't want to you can say my sister your. sister I have a sister yeah and her. hunky. [Laughter].

I'm be honest honk machine he's sharp. just like the Northman right you just. standing with a [ __ ] Alfred coffee. right hey hey I go you know and I when. I'm around guys like that I do I do a. half hug yeah you do right and I put my. hand against her chest I. go right just to have the leverage yeah. unless they get so they if they get. aggressive right just in case just in. case see my mom and my dad I saw your.

mom I saw your wife's parents too mhm. and it was like I ran to them did they. tell you yeah I ran to them as if they. were my own family it's very sweet hugs. you did give a lot of hugs I heard I. hugged everyone okay people were shocked. to see you in public my mom was like. Bobby goes. outside that's literally what my mom. said does Bobby go outside often I I. know because when you because when. you're dating people they want go. outside you have to go outside you're.

like I don't want to go outside and. they're like well then I'm going to see. somebody else so I go I'll go to the. beach or whatever it might be I've been. doing all kinds of weird [ __ ] you're. outside I went to Universal I did the. wind machine what because of her you. went to the you went to Universal. Studios I took a class and. everything I was sitting in a class. taking notes about like what to do and. what not to do like you're not ready to. do the flips and the. rolls put your hands out like this feel. the air you know what I mean and then. all the symbols of like I mean the hand.

gestures of did you really fly yeah I. flew but my point is is that when at. Universal City the mall you got. suspended in a vacuum machine it's not a. you didn't. fly go ahead no I don't do it go ahead. you starting it yeah gu guy I'm I'm. going to tell you this right now dude. and before there were jokes before there. were jokes okay this is not a joke okay. I will not do your. [Laughter].

this is not a joke this is not a thing. in fact anyone listening right now when. you watch his zombie movie you will not. see me in it because of what he just. said just now that's right all right I. will not I refuse to you fly beautiful. no no. you you can't you can't it's over anyway. I did fly I'm a flying machine you saw. my family and got coffee it was nice my. really nice to see everyone was in my. house for Fourth of July it was a little. overwhelming I'm not going to lie when.

you have a lot of family yeah having. everybody over at your place is tough. it's like one and everybody wants. something everybody wants something and. you don't want to you just what do they. want give me the three things they want. I I'll be the guy food I'm I'm your. assistant okay food we'll get food I. don't have an assistant let's just say I. am food call me. [Music]. um just. Jiminy hey Jiminy. boss boss hey boss hey Jiminy hi Hi boss.

what I have my notebook why is your. shirt still on oh sorry boss I was you. know I want your shirt off when you walk. around the house bud I know I I know but. the marshmallows the marshmallows you. told me to put on my body right I mean. you already licked them off so I just. thought I could I ask you to get new. ones why do you think I want you to go. to the grocery store you supposed to put. marshmallows all over your body every. day I'll be right back boss thank. you look at my little stay puffed. marshmallow man hey boss I got the not. pack what where your family need here.

food food if food f o o d food good yes. alcohol lots of. alcohol yeah that one you can't spell. can. you good yeah that's good yeah I know. what that means the a yeah yeah yeah. yeah and then c b c. three sunscreen sunscreen oh cuz the. white albinos albinos the Albin okay I. I'll be right back bus thank you Jim.

that's not a lot it doesn't seem like a. lot no that's not it's just that. everybody you know you got a host you. have to be a host being a host is hard. you'll never hosted your house I've. hosted have I not hosted Christmas at. the kalila hosted. boom you didn't do. [ __ ] I hosted you tried to help that's. hosting how what did he. do. like be honest be real for once your. energy dude that's you know and look up. hosting dude and no don't don't I was.

just kidding right but I assume that. hosting energy has a lot to do with it. you need 60% energy 60% when you're. hosting no how many percentage I have. zero energy because I'm you're doing for. others the whole time oh I say I I save. my energy for the host and that's why I. don't leave the house that's right every. year I'll help the host I just save it. you help the host but now you have to be. the host cuz you're home I host I do. host you're home alone kid I [ __ ]. hosting then you're. right anyway are gone now yeah uhhuh.

everybody's gone and it's so quiet and. nice but I had to remove a couch cushion. last night because my dog had anal. secretions all over the couch cushions. oh our dogs do that I hate it so much. fish Butt Fish butt it stinks it's the. worst why dude it's a brand new couch. why what she she she's only done it when. she's like in her little bed or. something but for some reason she jumped. on the brand new couch the fireworks are. going off for the 4th of July and she. was. cuz she was scared I know dude but SC be.

scared in the bed secrete on the bed now. it's all over the couch so what what'. you do with the I got fish butt couch I. set it on fire no you didn't I burnt my. house down because I because of Ming and. the pee I'm fingering I I I want I want. to know what I I have to do okay so I. had to call the manufacturing company. that made our couch and we just bought. it from and they have a special solution. that I have to use to clean it you can. just spray it no dude no you can't that. [ __ ] is in the [ __ ] it's in the C but. dries out and turns into flakes little.

fish. flakes but doesn't it that's just okay. no it's in there you got I just spray. yeah I think that's the right thing yeah. I don't even wipe I just spray and. that's why people are coming over saying. this is gross you it's pretty gross yeah. you need to clean this up but. isn't I want to ask I'm being real I. haven't Googled it yet isn't there. something that comes over with equipment. and just [ __ ] clean your couch yeah. but that's a but that's like a big deal. that's like a whole couch clean that's. like a you talking about when they uh. when they uh when they yeah want that.

someone did that to your other couch TI. Bobby don't you remember yeah Stanley. Steamer you got a Stanley Steamer over. there but let me tell you something yeah. I got a I just am learning about you. know it's called expressing the anal. glands of your dog you have to express. the glands when they clean them did you. do it on your own I did like you went in. I was in an I was I learned how to. express online wow what do you have to. do well wait what is that is that it. yeah wait a minute go.

back that's it yeah zoom in did you do. that cuz if you're not doing that you're. not doing it well see I oh you use your. penis I you don't use your. penis wait wait wait seriously is that. really it yeah that's it because it said. on this one thing that I read that if. you just put your lips up to it and you. just. go oh yeah that. yeah yeah look at what a dog's face look. look like when you have to open up its. tush look at how embarrassed that guy is.

I know look at how embarrassed that poor. guy would they wear pants guy yeah it's. not our fault you're naked dude I know. you guy yeah I learned how to express. the anal glands it sucks let me see if. you were expressing my anal glands I. want to see my look yeah look at what. your face would be. look yeah same look side by side what do. you think I do yeah it does suck so you. did it on your own yeah we fish but we. got that fish butt gown you have to we. tried it with our dog but it was too.

hard it is hard but the woman who does. her grooming she's going to come and she. said she's going to do it this end of. this week but what is because of stress. why H why did they do it dogs have it. for all sorts of reasons some people. people at home send in your suggestions. of why your dog has fish butt some some. dogs cuz they're stressed some dogs get. it cuz they're old some dogs aren't. expressed enough dude what if fish get. dog. butt I thought right what if fish get. dog but when they're stressed out yeah. they might yeah yeah interesting they. really might in the in the ocean yeah.

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have you ever seen a chicken's butt wait. what a chicken's butt yeah what it does. the mouth the it does that what do you. mean let got lips whoa what is that no. not that just a tiny one is that a sack. what is that what is that a hemorrhoid. yeah it's a swollen yeah no go to a. regular one do not a [ __ ] swollen one. that's the chicken's butt that's it. what's wrong with that but looks like a. butt no I'm just saying in the. Philippines we would like phpp chickens. here we go here we go what happened.

Philippines with chicken butts cuz we. had chickens and then like my uncle. would like show us like oh look at this. and then he would grab the chicken and. he would. like on the butt and then blow on its. butthole yeah and then the lips would. and then the butt would be like a lips. like do. that I know can I just say theoretically. though I think all but holds when. somebody's blowing does that well come. here let me try no I don't we've done.

that before right yeah yeah yeah but uh. like look at the chicken's. but but who's the first Filipino dude to. do that and this got have been going on. for centuries yeah yeah some guy had to. try it the first time look at this this. is a Filipino girl this what happened to. you blowing a chicken's. butt let's see it let's see so okay I. want to do all the people okay that's. that's the no you got to get. rewinded yeah we want to see it we watch. the blow we want the style. for you Victor no okay here we go all.

right okay okay that's that's. the yeah oh I see it's doing it it's. doing it now yeah yeah yeah I see it. okay so you have to blow on it okay. watch okay no don't zo come. here oh oh it did an extra thing that's. you guys have toys whoa whoa whoa whoa. whoa whoa whoo dude that's incredible. that's like a popular thing in instead.

of [ __ ] Xbox you guys have that in. the Philippines and you're wondering why. you need a passport to go to Europe This. is why that's what you guys do huh why. can't I get into Japan and Europe. because you guys blow in chickens. [ __ ] you lunatics it's lunatics. that's insane to do that that's a fun. game it was until now that's interesting. I wonder why the chicken does that their. butthole yeah well it's ready for. something I know I wonder what happened. if I put my penis in there look he.

kissing me blow me kisses but also can I. just say something what a large butthole. for a bird well it got big oh yeah yeah. it stays tight but it gets. big what have you have what have you. been doing have you been blown in butth. holes nothing just work where are you. working now still at school you're. working at that school yeah I thought. you quit that job I'm still doing it can. I just say something wow. you work hard at at work right I'm the.

best you're the best right yeah it's. such an easy job and I'm getting paid. for it oh so mine's arduous and. rough yeah it's like 10 times worse why. cuz you have to move you have to clean. [ __ ] you have to do everything yeah okay. that sounds worse that's fair that's. fair yeah now is it also that you like. that school job what is it though it's. it's at the bookstore no it's. Administration office yeah you like it I. bet it's it's just so easy it's just. like you don't do anything not do.

anything how many do you get. recognized a lot no but it's like the. chairs of like. departments and then watch bad friends. the chairs yeah they know about bad. friends and then they're like old people. and they're like are they nice to you. yeah they're nice not old old what's old. 50 yeah like obob not old not old look. at me dude 80 is old well don't do that. don't shake your tits that's a do seem.

old you. did yeah but they they know the podcast. they well that's good and do do you get. do you blush or you like do you step. into the rooll I blush oh you do and I. just like try to hide what color are you. when you blush I'm still yellow and. brown just more yellowy Brown yeah. yeah what I've what I've enjoyed about. you over the years you've got more. confident though. in every area of your life cocky even.

yeah yeah CU you used to be like so. timid like we talked about the one time. you sang that song at Christmas and you. cried yeah I don't think you would cry. now I don't think so yeah yeah but it. took a while like I was so scared of. you you came out of your shell yeah yeah. you were scared of him for a long time. why I'm just a little guy cuz you have. so much energy I do it's like. overpowering very overpowering energy I. get it well when you sleep for 15 hours.

you store up a lot of. energy he's like like a Pokemon he's. just waiting to explode anyway you have. no summer plans you're going to work all. summer let's give you a gift to go. somewhere where where do you want to go. where do you want to go can you just pay. for my surfing classes or when they. import you back to the Philippines learn. there that's also true yeah yeah yeah. when they kick you out of the I don't. want to go back let me tell you. something Buddy Donald Trump's going to. get in and kick you right back to where. you pal he's going to win really there's.

no doubt there's no doubt now no doubt. so Joe Biden lost a tooth in the last. week he just like tooth. fat got falls out of his head yeah yeah. it's incredible it's crazy can I ask you. guys something yeah not politics but. anything else that yeah what have you. guys heard of. soaking I keep seeing it on Tik Tok are. are you soaking. no do you know what it is yeah why are.

you asking about it do you not know what. it is I kind of know what it is but I'm. asking you guys cuz you guys are older. we're OG's we know what soing is dude oh. I invented. soing I get so tired I can't pump. anymore so I go let's just soak for a. while that's Mr soak right there I'm so. dog dude yeah 2020 dude soak dog so you. have someone to have you ever so wait. wait wait let me stop stop what do you.

think soaking is because you she's right. she's talking about a. bouncer what you're talking about a. bouncer oh yeah yeah bouncer bouncer. yeah you need oh I let me check your ID. wait I thought I thought soing was. something else no you do know what. soaking is but when you put it in you. let it soak you need someone on the. other underside of the bed to push up. someone's got to be someone's got to. raise the roof I I see right yeah yeah. the Mormons do this and Brad Williams. my legs won't touch the ground anyway um.

yeah so what so why are you doing this. no I just see it so much on Tik Tok but. what they show on Tik Tok what do you. mean what like like they go to like a. Mormon like school and then they ask. like these um like college students like. oh do you know what's soaking oh so what. is soaking on Tik Tok it's when a couple. yeah they don't have sex MH they just do. that like on the position on the bed the. girl is doggy yeah the guy is standing.

and they're close and then there's. another person who's doing the bouncing. or like that's not soaking no soaking is. when you put it in but you don't move. yeah it goes in and doesn't move look it. up on [ __ ] what do you call it yeah. yeah so soaking is where you put it in. and you don't move that's what I think. soaking is right well I just learned it. this week yo but that's that's not. you're learning it wrong it's not. getting your information from Tik Tok. and YouTube man all right we'll tell you. the truth truth on YouTube yeah I looked.

at them in PornHub all right stop let's. not talk about well can we yeah no not. no all right anyway anyway we're not. going to show it anyway yeah um soak dog. you're wild dude you're wild right now. you're [ __ ] problem here sexual. practice on Wikipedia yeah I like edging. my favorite I Edge and I soak sexual. practice of inserting the penis in the. vagina but not subsequently thrusting or. ejaculating report reportedly by using. some members of the Church of Jesus. Christ latterday Saints LDS Mormons. uh they don't it's not common but.

obviously it's enough to be on Wikipedia. so clearly wait wait wait wait the. Mormons support it then no they just all. do it and they just stick it in and then. they I mean what do they say to each. other we be. soaking oh Joseph Smith was a known. Soaker oh really I think when he found. the tablets he was soaking oh really he. was soaking then he was soaking back. then who he been soaking yeah yeah my. dog been soaking yeah anyway um well. that's what I've learned are there other. things things you've learned you know.

what I you know what I soak pans after. I've used them that's what I soak okay. pal you perve I soak a pan after I cook. in it yeah okay perv perv say it again. Bob perv what else have you been. learning um I've learned on Tik Tok. about rat Boy Summer rap Boy Summer rat. like rat Boy Summer yeah what's a rap. Boy Summer it's like car it's like. Carlos's face like what like okay now. we're getting I'm I'm getting on like.

that's like that's like Carlos yeah you. do kind of look like a rat Carlos and. that's like trending right now like. white boys who look like I thought it. was handsome and they're like really. like attractive to girls so who's a good. rat Timothy shal those guys from. Challengers I mean the guy the guy in. the back legitimately looks like a rat. but he's so hot let me guess rap boy a. rap boy with Lionel Messi rap boy no not.

a rap boy okay I'm just throwing it out. there he's too old it's a mouse he's a. he's a mouse very good so uh is Pete. Davidson a rat Boy Summer yeah he's rat. boy why why him it has to be like their. bone structure is like like they're so. skinny and just like that kid uh what's. that kid Barry. kogan he's a rap rap Boy Summer yeah rat. Boy Summer you're not a rap Boy Summer. we're [ __ ] old we're rat men we're. Splinter you're Splinter I'm oh I'm.

Splinter sum you're Splinter I have a. splinter summer yeah yeah yeah yeah okay. these guys are rat boys I see they're so. handsome no that Barry Keegan guy looks. ratty too yeah I see it now all these. guys are. rats wow yeah that's a rat for sure so. it used to be white boy summer now it's. rat Boy Summer rat Boy Summer that's. trending but you don't like white boys. anyway but that's the thing oh [ __ ] are. you starting to like white dudes yeah. they're rat boys wow D I'm waiting for. the panda. summer cuz at Panda summer then I'm.

going to be in and I'll be the red panda. summer I'll be in right after you yeah. why can't there be an animal that I. resemble that's going to have can we. have a summer yeah why can't you guys. have an orangutang summer for. me I'm just throwing poop at girls yeah. yeah this is a this is a hot trend for. you now yeah that's on Tik Tok your. whole life seems to be revolving around. Tik Tok now I Tik Tok like almost every. day how many hours go to your go to your. usage or whatever and see how many hours. you're on Tik Tok on average a day does. your generation go to the movies yeah me.

and my boyfriend go so what have you. seen with your boyfriend um the studio. gibly one boy in the. herin it's like a re yeah but still she. went and saw it something to do um. inside out how cute was that you saw it. no I want to go see it looks so cute I. like the first one they're all great. everything they make was at Pixar they. always they don't miss they don't miss. they don't what's your favorite one what. do you mean they don't [ __ ] what are you. shaking your head at there are a couple. misses give me a give me a Miss they.

nowhere Cars 2 they're nowhere near as. consistent as they once were the good. dinosaur the good dinosaur Miss they. made two of them they made of them I. know you ever saw I never saw the first. I saw cars the original I didn't see the. first it was so cute yeah OG's good yeah. what's your favorite one I know mine of. all time of Pixar I mean bring up the. Pixar movie so I don't cuz sometimes I'm. confusing Pixar with what's the other. one Dreamworks Dreamworks cuz they do. the same [ __ ]. I me my I'm going to look at the list my.

number one Wall-E yeah I know my number. one for real and my number two is. probably the first Incredibles yes. insane you didn't like them no I did but. I'm just saying Toy Story is is the goat. of all goats it's the greatest [ __ ]. story ever told that's a good one yeah. okay and Finding Nemo home run a [ __ ]. okay here's a Miss you're right. Lightyear stinks monsters yune amazing. okay there's a lot of bangers although. I'm not a Ratatouille fan but a lot. which one with the fish was like where. am I that's all of them that's every.

movie no there was one with where Ellen. was Finding Dory Finding Dory Finding. Dory that's one right that where am I. that's a followup okay that wasn't as. good I like that one Nemo. okay. Luca that was a Spanish one right. Italian same same yeah close up yeah oh. loved I mean the we talk about it we. talk it's it's too good it's too good. it's the best of all time was great and. you know what even though she's red I. know no one like Brave I get it yeah.

that's the junk that's junk one well. it's proof that red people can't lead a. film they can't no I know I'm looking. right at it yeah neither can there's no. Korean leads on there either Bud yeah. there is man which Korean film that they. made the fat guy from up he's not a lead. the fat guy from up kid he's. Filipino he's Filipino bring up the fat. kid from up he's not koreano he's not. Korean yeah he's Korean look at him no. he's not. look at look at he's first of all if.

anything do you have any kimchi look at. that face that's that's that's fancy. he's Spanish for sure there's no doubt. you think he's Spanish for sure 100% you. don't have one then huh you have Mulan. that we have the whole movie Mulan. that's not Korean I know but it's Asian. no you got to have Korean Koreans can't. lead redheads and Koreans can't lead. that's why we're doing this [ __ ]. podcast for so long I you're right. you're right we're stuck wait what is. this turning red turning red and then. there that short film B turning right. what do they drink a beer what what is.

that about she turns into a a furry. monster yeah the guy again that's me and. you yeah I never saw I never saw that. did you see that that's you and me dude. that's literally our movie I'm going. make artwork with. that yeah that D that is 100% us why. haven't we made that artwork. yet somebody online make that that. couldn't be obviously more us that's. insane that's us that's bad friends. that's real good all right so you you I.

will give you surf lessons for the. summer that's fine Mone has to go out. there and film it and surf with you. though cuz I want to see it I don't want. to pay for something and not be able to. see it I want to know that you're out. there doing it and you're trying oh so. MCO is going to surf with me no he's. just going to film you surfing because I. want to see the progress I want to know. you're doing it and I'm not going to. [ __ ] go to the beach okay I can't go. to the beach can come with me and surf. no he can't film and surf oh you like. Mone. good guy right yeah.

yeah that doesn't sound good yeah yeah I. like him he is nice he'll he'll go out. there he can't surf no you can't swim. MCO I can swim dude you should see he's. such a bad swimmer he looks so dumb when. he swims yeah he flails his arm we don't. have oceans yeah have you have you been. watching the worst roommate on the. second season no why I just not. interested what do you mean I just it. doesn't appeal to me roommates yeah what. do what you like about roommates I don't. have any you've never had roommates in.

your life yeah I want to try having. roommates when I stopped having them you. have a roommate no like my age and then. like fight with them and just like go. crazy I want to try that okay or like if. you no you it'll drive your crazy you. should get someone your own age you. should live with someone your own age. cuz my friends they had roommates and. it's always like chaos yeah because. there's always there's money and Cohen's. got roommates how many roommates do you. have I have three other roommates and. you hate them I'm tired of living with. other people I know I I get it D are you.

making enough money now that you don't. have to live with other people I. actually just got the keys to a to a one. bedroom are you serious so we got you a. one bedroom. mhm thank you yeah that would be the. nice thing to say I had a roommate. Kalisto Hernandez kilo's full name was. Kalisto no no Kalisto Hernandez him and. I lived in Silver Lake together right. and he was he he was this kind of guy. now back back then I wasn't on mad I was. a struggling Open Mic comic what year is.

this 90 97 six seven yeah you're not. going to find him on online so Kalisto. Hernandez we would walk into a bar and. women this is how handsome he was women. would just walk up to him and just make. out with him without not even. introducing him was he an actor or. something no he was just like this. Hispanic guy that was very handsome back. then where did you find him I met him in. San Diego back in the day doing he was. an actor we were kids we played chess so. he was an actor yeah.

how. do no he's one of those okay he's one of. those guys where I always told him I go. he's good at everything but not great so. he was in a band he was an actor he then. one day was like I'm doing oil painting. you I mean he was like one of those guys. he's a jack of all trades master of none. master of yeah that that jack of all. trades master master of none but I used. to tell him I go dude just focus on. acting you're a good-looking you're a. good actor suon a play Balo was good you. know what I mean but he would what no he. wasn't yes he was no he was I mean as as.

a kid I remember buying tickets and. going to the B with you in San Diego and. watching him do this Hispanic play and. he walked out I was like and he had a. bunch of kind of Hispanic lines I was. like oh that's pretty good magusta. magusta whatever M Maga you me he came. out yeah and I was like oh he he has a. future boss boss they playing they. playing they play they play yeah and. then um we moved up here and he just was. FOC and too many women he so he was. hooking up with to many chicks he had no. I could I've never seen anyone with no.

money dirty right but get so many I got. I got. nothing so I get on Mad TV right so I. move out and then he. goes hey dude um my dream is to open up. a skate store he goes he goes can I have. money I go you know what I'm going to. help you with your dream I gave him 10. grand right and then I walk into the. state skate SC store six months later.

and I pick up a shirt and I go umy D I. want I want this shirt he goes okay dude. that's $ 39.95 whatever and I go dude I. gave you he goes I know but that's not. you know I'll pay you I go but can I. just have it he like no no no you got to. pay $ 39 you're right so that's the. first thing what so funny that is that's. hilarious would that make you mad yeah. so I go all right here's 39.95 right so. here's here's what really made me mad. mhm the shop closes and my brother was. working there at the shop right it.

closes then a year later he found his. dad on like ancestry.com or something he. was adopted in Mexico his dad was super. rich and then like a year after that his. dad just died his you know right and. left Kalisto hundreds of thousands of. dollars right what where's your 10. grand then three years after that I run. into him I go dude I heard you got the. you yeah I drank through it. he's alcohol yeah nothing oh man and I.

just was like yeah [ __ ] you. dude I love him I love kalist though I. had a roommate yeah so then then we go I. had a roommate who who swore like lived. and died by the book the game from Neil. Strauss you know who that you know what. that is dude I I know you remember that. book dude I met Neil Strauss huh George. is like that George read that book he. looks like a guy that read that book he. was obsessed with it dude that validates. everything I thought about George dude.

dude I read that book I read the book. right not one girl I I all the tricks. and then I did a I did Mancow in Chicago. Neil was on the show with me and I. looked him in the eyes I go you're. [ __ ] garbage you book didn't work. [ __ ] man I got nothing but some people. it worked for George for people that it. didn't work for George either no no he. failed i s failed so many times for. people that don't know Neil Strauss. wrote this book called The Game and it. was basically a way. that of neing it's the secret to negging.

truly it's like pretending you don't. care kind of insulting girls it's neing. them so one of the things in it is you. know I mean if you see a group of girls. at a bar and the one you like right. don't pay attention to her right right. be nice to the other three right and. then kind of rip her apart a little bit. Yeah you that hairsty is 80s huh and. then go back to the girls right right. supposedly that's going to get their. juices flowing it doesn't work they spit. in your face well the key I had a girl. spit in my face is to be goodl looking. then he works.

all there it is [ __ ] him up no no don't. leave [ __ ] him up just beat his ass I. was how many [ __ ] Slams are you GNA. do this [ __ ] episode dude how many. slams it wasn't about you H it wasn't. about. you I'm tired it's late it's like you. know what I mean so many slams dude. that's a lot of slams a lot of slams. dude I'm saying Brad pet is doing it it. works you're the slam King today yeah. this roommate I've told you about this. guy so he read the game he was incessant.

about the game a very interesting dude. he owned vending. machines lucrative no lucrative yeah. dude but the back of his station wagon. would have boxes of chocolate and potato. chips in it and in the summer the. chocolate would melt in his trunk it was. just [ __ ] insane dude and he would. just have cases of [ __ ] so he had he. bought these vending machines with a. with like other guys and he would go. around and he forget to fill them up and. then he had a guy that came stayed with. us for a while one of his closest.

friends and he won a Toyota Matrix in a. gambling in like a Texas holdom. competition and then they kick it the. best part was one time I came home this. kid was Maniac what we had shitty old. carpet this this was a this was a dog. [ __ ] apartment in Culver City and we had. carpet and one time I came home and half. of the living room carpet was ripped up. all the nails were like ripped out of. the floor. and I was like what are you doing and. he's like there's hardwood floor under. here man and I was like okay yeah yeah.

yeah well you have to [ __ ] fix it. he's like no way man I'm gonna get this. that landlord that woman I'm gonna get. not what was her name n I'm gonna get. her to [ __ ] do the floors I was like. no you're not dude you idiot now they're. going to charge us for this [ __ ] I'm not. paying for this [ __ ] so he goes fine so. he ripped all the carpet off and then he. redid the wood floors he had. them they looked real good yeah good I. mean it was I mean for how shitty the. place was yeah yeah yeah he was dude.

such a weird animal I came home one. night late after being what if you saw. like the a Riddler's. Napp yeah oh I would follow it yeah one. night I came home after doing shows and. and I smelled something really like I. smelled gas in the house I was like man. something smells weird it's like it's. gas I go into the kitchen we had an old. 1930s those old big stove tops the. burners were on two of the burners super. high burning like you could hear it. hising yeah I go to turn it off and I'm. like yo yo is anybody cooking yeah I go.

in his room he's almost naked he's. almost butt naked reading a book with. candles all around him and I go dude you. left the [ __ ] and he's like oh sorry man. I lit. candles yeah this is the guy I lived. with for [ __ ] two years okay when I. live with when I live with Kalisto my. brother calls me from ASU and my brother. goes dude I'm moving to LA right I go no. no no you're not I'm com coming my. brother ends up at my house and he's I.

go where are you going to live he goes. with you so he built this Cambodian like. Hut in my closet he got bamboo from. somewhere he built like a little thing. your brother turned into alien. Gonzalez yeah and my brother would just. sleep for years on this like bamboo Hut. um thing that he built in the ground in. your closet in my closet like so I'm. laying in bed I I didn't have a um a bed. frame it was just a mattress on the. floor you know what I mean and and and I. see my brother's like head sticking out. of the closet at night right but then I.

had this girl I had a girlfriend her. name is Amy esakov and I can St talk. about she she was some one I was seeing. yeah and she lived with me for a couple. of months and it was the worst and your. brother yeah my and my brother right cuz. me and Andy me and Amy would start. making out and my brother would go I can. hear. you nightmare nightmare and with this. went on for years and also then you're. like you're also hitting open mind. yeah and you're going you know it gets.

to a point where it's like I can't do. this for another year or I'm going to. I'm going to have to quit or I don't. know what I'm going to do yeah it just. got to that point and some of us go we. do everything we can to get out I think. that's what I did you know the breaking. point the breaking point like I got to I. got to do something you know what I mean. yeah I had roommates for so long man so. then but to the worst roommate ever the. show is four episodes you know what it. is yeah and and these nightmare roommate. situations and they're really. interesting dude they're really fun to.

watch I mean it's endless the amount of. stories yeah I mean first of all I. shared a bathroom with a couple one. bathroom with a bunch of other guys oh. my God it was like a [ __ ] it felt like I. was in a hospital bath right bath yeah. you should have seen it dude it was. disgust it was repulsive people would. come over like we'd have parties like. girls would come over that parties and. girls would wouldn't want to stay cuz. they had to pee but they didn't want to. pee in our bathroom it was so [ __ ] oh no. one cleaned it they don't have.

the no not everyone is a rich little. Filipino immigrant okay yeah yeah not. everyone is spoiled rotten don't you. just need a brush and then water and. then just brush and scrub it sounds easy. it sounds easy but it's not you could. you don't want to pluck another man's. pubes off the [ __ ] right if I lived. with you i' see red pubes I'm not going. to scrub that off and I shed I shed like. a golden retriever these things fall off. all day long yeah there's a freckle.

on like I don't know can get you know. what I mean it'll be a nightmare I get. off the couch there's pubes and freckles. everywhere yeah yeah and a little bit of. sunburn would you wouldn't be a to live. with me right would I be able to live. with you yeah a two bed yeah in a 50,000. foot house no but where we have separate. wings but do you think we could live. though a year think about it easily at. this stage in your life a studio. apartment right two beds studio. apartment one bathroom sounds like a. Japanese game I know two many one one a.

bathroom I studio apartment I know but. do you think you could do it oh no. because because of how we are now yeah. years ago no I don't think we could do. it now we could day four we would be at. it we wouldn't see each other oh that's. right you're always on the road oh we I. would book myself on the road we'd be. gone yeah it we'd be fine yeah and then. um you know what [ __ ] it I think you and. I should do at least we should do a year. of living together yeah for the sake of. the show you think if we if we have a. final season of this show it should be. you and I living together but I bring my.

three cats and you bring your dog fine. see what happen love it in one studio. apartment I think we should add more. dogs and cats it should. be oh four dog like a doct do little. situation I see I'd love that yeah like. have we call it arc Arc the ark yeah all. the animal the Covenant of the Ark yeah. that would be we would we we' be dead. you need to get yourself some roommates. and learn you have to learn those kind. of things. yeah those are like the building blocks.

of life of learning to go through the. [ __ ] of like dealing with other people's. that you didn't replace the toilet paper. why did you buy you know what I mean the. the all that [ __ ] you need to learn cuz. now you're just getting anything you. want from kalila yeah and I [ __ ] I feel. like I don't say what I what I want to. say so I feel like if I had roommates. I'd like learn from that did she make. you pay any money for stuff just my own. stuff like what like your cell phone uh. no t Bobby for you still pay for that. [ __ ] cell phone yeah rucking money.

yeah oh yeah I do don't I but at you my. [ __ ] house then so what do you pay. for of your own I don't know at K is. always in Hawaii so I pay for like my. food and like so she's never paid rent. she's been to America ever okay it's. American Dream yeah and then you my. Prius you you drive right how much did I. charge you for. that 3,000. 500 what an innocuous number why did you.

charge her that I don't think I did. charge her just give it to her I don't. think I did charge her you did you paid. him for that mhm how you know when the. car broke and then I had to pay for it. and you said you pay for it and then you. have oh so that's how I paid for it yeah. it got fixed yeah fix it and it's yours. okay yeah that makes sense yeah yeah. that makes sense yeah that's I'm not. going to you know what I mean come on. yeah like I would grab a check and I've. never done that you're not going to. you're never going to live with. roommates you've been spoiled I don't.

know maybe when I have an actual job and. then leave you are going to and know. this for a fact 15 years from now you're. going to be stressed out right you're. going to lay down in your bed and you're. going to close your eyes and you're. going to think of us I'll tell you what. you're going to be like I had it so good. then mhm you know what I mean I just. talk on a podcast get it now that you. what do you want to be when you grow up. now you're going to graduate college cuz. life is going to come at you fast I. still don't know you don't have any idea.

of what you might want to do maybe. something in like Marine Bio cuz I like. diving and I like animals so marine. biologist maybe something you got to go. to school for that again yeah well maybe. be like bubble Gump. Shrimp get a shrimp out yeah you want be. when I watch that movie I go shrimp out. M you want to be a shrimp B Captain I. mean you can make money though get all. the shrimp I just don't want to deal. with shrimps why all right well clams no. there's other things down there right.

other stuff scallops you go scallop SC. SC scallop hunting no I want like whales. you can't hunt whales I'm not going to. hun. dick I'm not going to hunt them no what. I'm saying is is that well you just want. to observe and like write down you know. what I mean oh the scallop you know mean. reproduces every four she wants to she. wants to be my octopus teacher yeah oh. that's what that there's no money in. that I know we you to get a shrimp out. you please for us yeah for like make. some money you be the best at it I don't.

know anything abouty Jewels shrimp you. don't know anything about shrimp neither. did [ __ ] Forest Gump you figured it. out you figured it out dude can it be. something like like fun no no life is. not fun yeah or you know go up to Alaska. with those boats and do the crab boat. fishing yeah dude that's fun would you. do that king crab isn't it isn't it just. all like white people though yeah yeah. yeah that's usually our thing okay yeah.

yeah that's that is true that's our. thing we are the best at that no one's. better at that yeah then the Japanese. not not a k no king crab no you guys are. good at fishing not king crab okay good. thank you yeah okay good I said you guys. you're not Japanese what am I talking. about I mean when you say you don't get. to take credit for them yes I do no you. don't I'll tell you why why because then. I get to take credit for all the good. white stuff Jan January 6th um yeah and. I do give you those that credit okay. okay Santa Claus that's not you we stole. it you stole it well success.

okay I mean I mean okay you're you're. GNA so you're going to be a marine. biologist well maybe we'll help you get. to that school I'm still not sure just. just that's just what I'm thinking yeah. well you got to try something yeah I. just feel like I don't have any interest. in anything that's a tough place to be. zero interest in anything were you in. well you were interested in we're. different we always wanted to be comedy. was so was the thing we knew we wanted I. don't I don't know anything how old do.

you know 22 I didn't figure that out. until I was. 23 the same [ __ ] she has a year was. that a bit no that's insane it's the. same age it's not she's 23 not too long. at 22 I had no idea is what I'm saying. so at 23 was like. poof yeah I took an improv Classic on. this is fun all right well a lot of. people uh start to think of what they. might want to like undress knew what. what he was going to do like we don't. even know what he wants to do like what. does he do oh he he does a movie that.

you're not going to beat him yeah yeah. speaking which get your students in here. and come say hi go ahead and bring him. in here he's got his students with us. again are these students from quak yes. he's [ __ ] every year this guy hello. hi sit in that chair if you don't mind. oh I remember you I remember you from. out there yeah yeah yeah you don't mind. put the mic close there to Carlos all. right car hi Carlos. that was aggressive what are you doing. dude say [ __ ] sorry oh say sorry or.

something say I'm sorry for that sorry. no don't touch people nobody wants to be. touched back up dude F anyway what is. your name uh I'm ve ve wait how do you. spell it VI I Vic yeah you say VEC sorry. sometimes I say things wrong no you said. it right it's how you say it's your name. Vic ve did you this is Rudy by the way. say hi hi did you change it VEC uh what. did your parents name you Victoria see. that's what they do what the whites the.

whites do this that's our thing yeah. like you know you're you're margarate. right and then like 20 years later I'm. Mar well they would just say Mar Margot. Mar I don't know Maro whatever I'm am or. whatever you Vic is cool yeah Vic is. cool sorry my bad no it's fine my. friends start calling me and it's kind. stuck uh Vic what do you what's you. you're you're a Quinnipiac you're in. film school I'm not no what do you do I. am a game design and development student. hell yeah who I love games. that's why you're wearing that that. specific bad friend sweater cuz to you.

actually I have not played started. Valley oh wow no what do you play um I'm. more of a tabletop gamer so uh I play a. lot of D and D dungeon and Dragons yes. oh video games like on a. table yeah kind of cards on little. Marvel no that's a card game it's not a. video game it's a card game yeah I'm. trying to get to it it's a dice game. it's a dice game with cards there's no. cards there's no cards. and I'm playing it wrong you know I'll. I'll tell you what about D and D people.

a lot of it's in their imagination no. yes so you build it in your mind yeah I. need to see things I'm a visual guy we. have. Maps like my friends will actually make. like full on maps so that way for us. can't picture things we have Maps but. wait a minute what if somebody makes a. map that you don't agree with yeah uh if. I'm a player it doesn't matter if I'm. the GM I can tell them they're wrong you. if you're the what uh game master person. who's and do you do you walk into the. room I'm game master today um not.

necessarily it's more of a each of us. have different games you'd run different. days I run every other Saturday so. you're the GM every other Saturday yes. my friend does it every Sunday afternoon. do you have a little bit more of an. attitude on. Saturdays yes yeah you're a little bit. more a little bit more pointed don't you. think yeah yeah like you wake up that. morning you go I'm the [ __ ] GM dude. yeah you know what I mean you got a. little bit of [ __ ] [ __ ] umping your. step right it's a great confidence. Builder it must be to be a GM you get.

you you wake up excited I do I'm going. to I'm GM today on Saturday GM day. what's breakfast for you Vic oh [ __ ] man. that's cuz that's a big [ __ ] day raw. egg you eat one raw egg yeah no uh yeah. definitely SL like Rocky like Rocky. slurpa y it's a little weird uh it is a. buttered Bagel made in the microwave. buttered Bagel that you put in the. microwave yes it tastes like it tastes. like a soft pretzel oh that I this is a. great idea by the way I do like this no.

wa I what it tastes like a soft pretzel. you just microwave a bagel probably. tastes like a soft pretzel oh okay you. put salt on it but it's wet right is. that why you wet it yeah you dunk it in. water no you just you just put you just. you microwave it and you put butter on. it you don't do Water Bagels not do. water bag should I have a question did. you like stranger things I watched the. first two seasons I did not like how. they portrayed the game wait what how. does D and D have do with stranger thing. because that's what they like to do oh. in stranger thing yeah okay my bad the.

whole of the. show did you never see that show I. refused okay it's such a good show I. told you why right why he was going to. be no just stop stop of representation. no no no no what happened was what' you. say is that the four slam what is it. four or five yeah yeah what is it tell. me what it is I just said lack of. representation lack of representation I. don't want it's a boring story it's a. boring story G just do a quick ver just. all right so I you know my agent calling.

me though there's a show called Oni an. right or something right oh no monok it. was called. monok right and I go talking about squid. game no stop stop all right so I go okay. and they go um there's a role and I I go. I have to go in I went in I got the part. nice on Mon talk right then they then. they called me and they said there are. no it's a period piece from the ' 80s. they don't there were no Asians in. Indiana or what whatever I don't know. where it was right I go okay but then. Andrew Daly got it right that part and.

then he couldn't do it so they called me. back they go do you want it I go yeah I. want to do this pilot and then like two. days before I'm up to fly out they go we. we're going to give it to a local I. don't know something like that they. changed the name to stranger things wow. and then drive around had nothing then. right I was so anyway are you happy I. said that story I don't want to [ __ ]. say anyway vex hi hi so let me ask you. something Vick's Vic it's not Vapor.

Rub Jesus. Christ that's what I heard I know or. I've never played D and D okay so him. and I come over right yep you know me. you know hey I'm Eugene that that's we. change our names why I don't know why. okay Eugene yeah what's your name tell. me my. name. Robert okay okay I'm Robert that's. Eugene Eugene we're here to play D and. we we've never played D and D so what do. we how do we start all right start by.

making a character all right so you'll. be given a piece of paper yeah has some. lines and boxes some bubbles well I. already know it Leonard. mpai all right um start by I'm Chooch. start by roll's Chooch I'm Leonard mpai. all right you start by rolling your. stats you get okay I rolled it's a zero. what do it happens okay uh pick it. number between three and 18 that's the. oh three okay I got a three oh you got. three um so the best way I can do this.

is do you have any snacks yeah I'm. starving yeah we came all the way here. we biked all the way from our house you. have snacks I I didn't bring anything. sorry you're the GM and you didn't bring. snacks so my group what the [ __ ] are we. doing here my group plays online yeah. but we're here we heard you had the best. wet wet Bagels in town yeah make us a. water bagel we want a wet water with the. butter [ __ ] you think we came over here. godamn they're like a right yeah pretzel. yeah Water Bagels so you don't have you.

already ate them yeah I okay okay anyway. so what's up you ate an entire sleeve of. bagels without us yeah there's six in. there hey calm down Chooch I got hungry. Eugene [ __ ] off oh Robert I mean yeah. yeah oh no your charact anyway it. doesn't matter it doesn't matter um so. um three is for the lowest you can roll. so I guess you start by what stat you. don't want to be good at oh we we we can. we figure out what the stats are all. right let me guess physical strength.

mental strength. mity Constitution intelligence wisdom C. Constitution was historian you have to. rewrite the whole thing uh Constitution. is they better not touch my [ __ ]. Constitution I'll tell you that I don't. care if the dragons or the dungeons are. involved another way saying is physical. for look at there they are right. strength dexterity no magic that's. that's what that's what. wisdom or Charisma determine Magic based. on your class okay good oh we class I'm.

Korean lard monai Korean uh can I not. pick that profession more or less okay. well give me the professions uh fighter. Rogue monk Barbarian artificer wizard. sorcerer Druid you're a druid for I'm a. druid for sure very Druid want a high. wisdom stat okay so I'm rolling with my. wisdom first all right I got a three all. right keep rolling thre I have no idea I. don't know it's it's weighted or. something these.

things all right. um so uh J Wisdom means you're not going. to be able to cast a lot of spells okay. but you but I'll think about them think. about it think about the Spells yeah. probably work on uh having a high. Constitution because High Constitution. makes high hit points and okay what is. Constitution you have to go to the gym. it is your uh physical it's physical. mental fortitude it's how well you can. resist poison how much HP you have oh. Health points yeah how uh how good you.

are at concentrating on your spells okay. wow wow wow all right so I got I'm going. to throw that for that con I want to go. home I know D I know I know a great B. she do any [ __ ] Bagels I want I know. a great on the way home when we're. riding our bikes all right I know it's. 45 miles all right yeah so okay so my. Constitution is at a 60 Constitution 16. 60. not acceptable why can't I get a 60. seems like so oh your attitude as game.

master I swear to God D so does feel. like a I am not explaining this in the. proper. order oh okay when you're rolling for. stats you roll four six seted Dice and. you keep the highest three so your. numbers will always be between three and. 18 so you want to develop games is that. where you're going to school for yes. yeah do you have a game you've developed. I work I've made a couple of games. that's what the program is usually. focused on and then I have another game. I'm a tabletop game I'm working on with.

a couple friends of mine that I can't. really talk about because we don't want. to you don't want to leak it yeah talk. about the games we talk about do you. like Andre do you like him yeah it's. pretty cool cool is not the word that. pretty cool shut up look at your [ __ ]. face right. now he's okay to you he's nice yeah yeah. he's never said anything inappropriate. is he one of your favorite. teachers oh I've never had him as a. professor actually yeah well that's how. are you here then because I filled out.

an application and they said yes they. Shi these kids out here okay their. parents get rid of them for the summer. this is Camp they get to come out here. and have a good time which one are you. how old are you uh 21 21 how old are you. 22 wow look at this huh look at that you. guys uh I'm done you want to go surfing. or yeah do you want to surf we're paying. for surfing lessons I'm not much of a. surfer okay says whom. says my I'm a figure skater actually. oh I've won I think silver in States you.

you won silver in state competition in. what state Connecticut no [ __ ] that's. huge you are a famous state state. champion uh SK yeah that's incredible. you do the little Twirls the Vick's. Vapor Rub twirl yeah I like that you. triple axle can you do that no I end up. having to leave figure skating because. of the pandemic and I haven't been able. to go back what do you mean China took.

over skating too those [ __ ] those. [ __ ] dude wait what do you mean you. had to quit because of the pandemic um. they shut down the RS they s shut down. the ranks and then I had a coach who was. teaching me and she couldn't uh travel. to the state where I was practicing oh. because of she was essential so she had. to actually go to work every day as well. as will you ever ride again. can we see you slicing up ice ever again. I plan to.

I I tried to get into it at school and. then the day I was supposed to go like. for the intro meeting there was a fire. alarm and I ran out without my shoes on. and it just ruined my night. Jesus I just haven't got. back Vic Vic thank you so much for being. here thank you for being here thank you. for having me give Vic a run of that was. great you want to get one more in here. let's get one more of the students VI. you're the best no one's going to beat.

that thank you Vic thank you Vic number. one literally number one yeah yes oh we. got a brown guy [ __ ] oh this a this. guy's a player dude I can tell dude when. I walk in here dude look at him what's. up man how you doing yeah yeah Brown guy. let's do ites can I just say something. yeah and it's an observation it's a good. thing from your eyebrows up it's very. long. long what do you mean by that I don't. know like like eyebrows like here yeah.

just you have a top your head is long my. head is long yeah yeah he has a lot he. has a lot of hair okay that's that's. just all hair are you are you Indian. yeah do you watch Amir Khan's movies do. I watch what Amir Khan's movie yeah like. three idiots yeah love that movie I love. it too yeah it's one my favorite ones. keep going this is good rude keep going. and um dangal yes yes the wrestling one. yeah my favorite that was good Amir. Khan's my so hot I just he's.

Daddy I mean only thing I know is nonan. so keep keep. going yeah yeah yeah yeah good mangoli. one of my favorites yeah I like this. saled I I just had I was in India like. yesterday you just got back from India. get him out of here right. now what were you doing in India um look. look. look that's good you're going cousin's. wedding yeah I just got back how many. horses rode in uh zero no one was on a. horse so the the weddings last like very.

long so I was only there I got there. late I can only go for a week because. I'm here so I went I there there was. like two different cities they did the. wedding in they went in Mumbai and they. went in Goa which is like Southern it's. like beachy more tropical M um and I. missed the entire Mumbai part of it so I. like that was the actual Wedding part. and then I got there for like the. reception and celebration dancing all. that I I I don't know there might have. been horses I don't know there's got to. be horses there had to I've never seen a. horse in India what they what do you. mean I've never SE I've never seen an. Indian guy on a horse before they do.

that at weddings all the time okay I. didn't know sometimes they ride in. elephants and [ __ ] dude Indian weddings. are bananas I've seen this though yeah. that's. it he loves that um you're like the new. version you're like the upgraded you're. like the iPhone 14 of Indians right. though yeah like you can tell he's got a. shine to the outside of him monkey man. he takes a different plug doesn't he. would you would you just call him dude. you just call him a monkey man dude no. like the movie monkey [ __ ] dude I was. like [ __ ] are you talking about I just. watch monkey man he's like Dev Patel.

he's like a handome you could have just. said he's like Dev Patel call him monkey. man dog Dev Patel it's insane [ __ ]. weirdo that guy is really rad yeah I saw. this last week you just saw this yeah. well so you are like monkey man I yeah. all comes back now um when you get is it. going to be an arranged marriage for you. for me yeah they that's what they were. all talking about at the wedding they. were all joking about it I don't know. how much they were joking but do they do. that um not as much still no are you. single me yes my parents were arranged. they were so did your parents want to.

arrange for you uh no they joke about it. all the time maybe they're not joking. maybe they're not joking yeah but if you. would did have an rrange would you do it. would I do it that's a good question I. guess it depends but then what if I like. I showed. up we would make it work I think yeah I. don't. know you don't think I could make it. work I just don't think so okay he's. kind of out of your league I know you're. right you're right he's a handsome man. yeah yeah what how old are you uh 20 20. yeah too young so young you're [ __ ] 2.

years older what you you like you said. you were a senior right yeah I'm a. senior well I will be he's just smarter. than you he skipped grades well he's. Indian that's why well while you were. blowing in chickens. buttholes he was learning math and. science can't be mad at him yeah you had. to skip a grade um I started early your. my mom put me in school like four. where are you from Connecticut no I'm. from Jersey oh Jersey Boy what okay.

right straight A I bet no no one b a lot. what a lot of bees have you tried. C's every you trying to C I've had some. c yeah yeah what you have a c in they're. [ __ ] delicious I think I had a c I. had a c in uh in in math no way one year. it was it was um it was pre-cal what did. your dad say let me hear what your dad. said I'm going to close my eyes and hear. what your father yeah I want to let me. hear go ahead he he no I'm I'm I'm you.

I'm you you're me yeah so you you're do. that right okay yo Dad what's. up Dad yeah yeah I'm sorry player uh I. you're not going to like here look at my. report. card this. own excuse me dad go leave you're done. get out wow wow that fast yeah no that. didn't happen he didn't not care he. didn't care at all no what a i well from. like from like what a switch is your dad.

from India yeah so he's not a jersey guy. he's not a jersey you didn't do an. Indian accent can I do an Indian accent. yeah but do your dad do does your dad. sound like that no he barely has an. Indian accent anymore he's been here. like in America for like 20 oh my bad. some people don't lose it he doesn't. have an accent no well the accent comes. out when he speaks like Hindi right okay. do you know any Hindi yeah speak some. what do you want me to say well tell him. he's an idiot and he [ __ ] up and he. shouldn't get a c tell my dad that. no this is your son what's your name. Arman Arman yeah this is you this is.

Arman you're your dad yeah Dad I'm Arman. dad why you keep forgetting me tell him. he [ __ ] up in Hindi and he should. never get a see what's up Dad what you. got to say damn. B that's wow did you like that L dude. that was what I was looking for dude. wait say that one more time so I can. hear it I can do it right now go ahead. hey babe. I'm the scat. [Laughter].

man what do you think I said it right uh. it. was the first word is b goof. right of course I did Fast you have to. do your head you have to do your head I. do it organically and real do your head. go like this b b you got you got Arman. Arman sorry yeah so you want to be a. writer and director I do want to be a. writer and director I think you're going. to be thank you do you have a movie. Pitch to us do any movie yeah and don't. pitch me Scarface cuz I know that's one. of your favorites yeah is it pitch a.

movie youve never seen Scarface scarf. pitches a movie Pitch you a movie. okay welcome um name is Cliff. Liberton my partner here I'm. steinson yeah Ste he just goes by. steenson well I'm so famous everybody. knows who steinon is just call me lion. okay yeah we're Jews. okay yeah um all right right so here's. the pitch right what's yeah so go ahead. so you got you got you got this guy. let's call him um Arman and uh and well.

you don't have the character's name I. don't really like that name we we can. switch it up give me any any word name. it doesn't matter well your it's your. movie you give us the name I give you. the name yes okay we'll name him Andre I. don't like that one that's fine we'll. take it where's this Andre from uh let's. he's from India I like okay we. like now yeah yeah and and right so his. parents set him up about an arranged. marriage right M uhuh so you you there's. a lot of words you can go with this. right so so he goes to the arranged. marriage and who's waiting for him but.

Bobby. Lee H oh the Mad TV guy the Mad the Mad. TV guy thead friendy I mean on our. list it goes Ken Jang Randall Park. Ronnie Chang Jimmy oang uh Daniel de Kim. um the list goes up in fact Ste yeah. he's not on the list he's not on give us. another name please any other name any I. mean is is your character Asian. he doesn't have to be I could switch to. how about a Barry con EG or somebody. that's relevant like a rat boy exactly.

we love the rap rap boy summer we love. the rap Boy Summer yeah go ahead wait a. minute time out for a second is he a rap. boy can you be a rap boy you said when. you described white rat boy was white. but they have to be white to be a rat. they have to be white even though rat. I've never seen a white. rat wow wait really what do you mean. there's white rats where in New York. there's white rat rats all over the. world what do you mean I've never SE I. did every every time I see a rat they're. like gray or like brown you've never.

seen a rat I've never seen that white. kind of rat yeah but that where have you. seen the rat the the brown rat in Jersey. in New York yeah yeah York but New York. this is a fancy rat oh these are like. bougie rats Hill okay got you I'll tell. you what I'll tell you what you I got I. have an idea yeah first of all we love. you you know this right thanks has this. been fun has this been a fun little. episode I've got someone I know that can. pitch us a movie okay okay hey Vic get. in here Vic get in here watch this watch.

this I want you to see this yeah yeah. I'm ready Vic see yeah okay will you. jump up real fast I want you to stand. over there yeah this is what a movie is. will you sit down there Vic and Pitch us. a movie I want Armand to watch that this. is a work of art this is a work of art. here pitch us a movie we're an we're. executive you're hi I'm leitz this is. steon steon Stein all right hi so this. is a futuristic Society planet we open. with a detective holy [ __ ] talking with.

their. wife this detective a little bit. disgruntled they just got back from a. three-year stint in our space they're. finally back home they're married write. the check write the. check [ __ ] check keep going keep. going um and then all these Crimes start. happening bad crimes bad crimes sorry a. lot of uh property is going missing oh. there's been. some accusations of bribery and then the.

detectives need informant gets murdered. oh my God what happened who killed him. what happened I need to know so there's. a couple more things that happens. eventually leads to the fact that it is. the detective's wife that she's the. killer she's been the one committing. this crimes because she was a charlatan. at her home on her home planet is's a. lower Tech Planet so she's still. figuring out all this technology my mom. was a charlatan she was I saw her I. remember her oh I it's kind of that I.

love you but you're putting me in so. much trouble yes yeah of. course and at the end there's moment of. like oh we're going to they're going to. have like a proper wedding like you know. for their family oh yeah of course an. arranged marriage an arrang well it. wasn't arranged but okay okay okay but. then they decide to not have that kind. of confirmation ceremony M and they just. end up sitting together and like holding. on to each other and saying I love you. and the movie is called of golden Glory.

yes sign a check not only that and who's. the detective you already have the. casting right who do you want uh I think. of Scarlet Johansson Scarlett Johanson. Scarlet Johansson can we get her yeah we. can it's pretty expensive yeah yeah yeah. and she's playing the detective. detective lock smith her name is lock. smith. clever forget it oh my God thank you so. much free picture deal free picture deal. $100 million best tip know your pitch.

before you do it I would play about. this in your face [ __ ] sit back down. Arman Arman Vic a [ __ ] honestly walk. off home run walk off home run the. game's over Arman how do you feel about. that and we didn't mean to pit you guys. by the way I just knew in my heart she. had something in the [ __ ] chamber. dude yeah I I think I got to go home and. no no ready come back no dude you're. going to stay here on the studio even. after we leave okay and I want you to. work on it I'll stay here till till the.

next time oh you're never coming back no. no no you're never coming back yes he is. he's never coming back but we love him. yeah yeah all right well thank you Arman. you can go back out there with the thank. you buddy you were so good amazing what. did we learn today Rudy you know I've. noticed Indians smell so good. mhm what the [ __ ] do they smell like. what do they smell like like they smell. so like flowery uh let me say what's. really going on okay you got she has a. crush on that guy no because my they're.

called phermones no because my. co-workers are all Indians and they. smell so good too yes they do smell good. but you also have a crush on like I saw. the way you were looking at them it was. a whole thing yeah I have a boyfriend. okay big deal he's so young huh he's so. young he's 20 what one year old younger. than you you're the same age no you. think you're you're way more mature no I. feel older you know why why because you. live you don't live with roommates she. thinks she's special yeah you think. you're above this kind of and you're. kind of like also a celebrity no I'm not.

that's right you don't know who you are. I'm not if I put you in front of a bad. friend's crowd thousands of people will. they cheer because they know it from the. podcast that's right that's what. celebrity it's for that's actually what. he's saying that's what it celebrity is. no yeah yeah yeah what else did you. learn today other than that all Indians. smell very good um but you did think he. was. handsome he's. cute okay okay whatever you.

say what did you learn and that soing is. inserting the dick to the van okay aside. from that well no that's true you learn. that that is something we learn we. talked about other things but yeah and. that also you're you missed us and. you're happy to be back and you're going. to come back am I wrong or am I right or. am I right you're right [ __ ] yeah we. missed you I missed having you around. well go ahead sign off for us thank you. for being a bad friend. [Music].