Fancy is Back! | Ep 76 | Bad Friends

so hey guys we have some new merch new. merch this merch is very special yeah. it's special to us and it's G to help. somebody that we love so much and she's. going to she created a little written a. little monologue a little monologue for. to pitch it go ahead so go ahead please. no no no what the. [ __ ] please buy the merch so I can pay. for college and I can go to parties look. sad look s say please buy I I if you.

don't buy I don't have party and fun if. you don't buy then I can't go to parties. and I can't learn anything okay show the. shorts show the shirt and show the. shorts Rudy yeah go to go to bad friends. merch.com and buy that stuff for Rudy. jewes so she can um go to parties and. have fun also uh I'm on tour Andrew. Santino dcom I'm going everywhere. everywhere ino.com come see me baby you. two are bad friends these two idiots a.

white dude and an Asian dude you two are. disgusting you two are something we're. bad friends I was in a good mood coming. here no I'm being real I was in a really. good mood coming here where I was. singing songs Be Free together every day. be free together right and I was singing. these songs I was making up yeah and I. come in here and as soon as you you. opened your mouth it was. like I like how higher up you are in the.

chair now yeah you did this no I didn't. do it I didn't do it Pete did it cuz he. said Bobby's getting longer he's getting. wider this way and shorter this way I. think the more your belly. grow the lower you go to the Earth baby. let's do some of these. comedy Pete Pete what the [ __ ] man come. on dude the thing fell off the wall. again oh [ __ ] sorry sorry sorry dude I. asked him to screw oh my God where's the. remote I thought the screws were work.

that we had I'm sorry no they did I said. give me they give me 1/8 of an inch and. then what did you get me I got the quar. inch yeah you got a quarter inch dude. it's not even that hard to do Pete no. offense but but now now we have to be at. Home Depot in the middle of our shoes. I'll be better is that fancy no. way no. way. fancy fancy get over. here what are you doing.

oh hey guys what are you doing here fans. andas well you guys fired me from the. show and I I fell on hard times but I'm. I'm working do you guys need any no we. don't need any yes we need help at the. show get in the car get back to the show. get in the car I don't get in the car. say goodbye to your friends and get in I. will do if you want my friend okay we. can get him instead you want me to get. him okay I get in get in say goodbye.

hio fan welcome back. fancy but I have no are you excited. fancy is. back fancy I'll be honest with you I'm. being honest with you I didn't even know. he was gone you didn't even miss him a. little bit I'm going to tell you the. truth right now I didn't even know he. gone fancy I missed you so very much. Rudy did you miss the fans yeah I missed. you Andre thank you guys I honestly you.

know I didn't know you were gone so I. didn't miss you but by seeing you now um. it's good to see you again well you. definitely missed fans well when's the. last time I saw them cuz all we had we. had Pete and Bryce which is like but I. understand that but it's um when I was. did fancy leave after I got back from. Hungary yeah so I got back from Hungary. then he left he was gone I think I think. and then for a couple of weeks you were. gone and now where' you go where'd you. go.

I went to Spain to see my family oh for. cuz you hadn't seen them in a long time. in two years yeah yeah yeah and what. does uh Papa Andreas look like now he. looks good he looks good now how come. you how. come how come you don't look good. fancy y it would I think no it skipped. the generation oh it does that it's. always like really handsome right and. then just ugly ugly yeah and then it. goes back to he's a cutie patootie I.

missed him so very much and also I want. to make it aware Rudy's wearing her Rudy. University shirt Rudy show the shirt for. the fans there it is uh these Rudy. University shirts are available now and. Rudy is going to get this money for. college and what did we say the money. from the shirts is going for college no. Coca-Cola no Coca-Cola in the in in the. nose in the Coca-Cola in the nose none. of the fun if we find out that they're. using the money for something else. you're done for pal we'll sue you and. then also also you can't take the money.

and go on vacation with. Diego what all right is this is this. like popping off you have a real. relationship now with Diego no I don't. have any. relationship I kind to tell you what. happened though yeah so we're at the. beach right and uh Diego's there selling. coconut water no no no Diego was there. with his family selling coconut water. yeah yeah and some sort of weird. mushroom that he collected you know what. I mean and then um so he was there and.

these are chant no he was actually like. a cute very handsome how tall young man. tall guy 5'9 510 um just like kind of. got keano reevesy hair oh good nice hair. yeah yeah and he kind of comes up and he. goes hey dude it's not my fault that. you're famous he comes to me that's what. he said yeah yeah that's a good line. that's a great line hey man it's not my. fault you're famous I got to get a photo. dog this guy's great great right I love. this guy I got half hard yeah ooh right.

ooh so you know I'm looking at him and. we take the photo and um young cute and. he just kind of walks away smooth and. goes he he he does a he go drives into. the ocean he does he does his you know. the butterfly oh he can swim yeah he's. butterfly does he swim do is it. something he does I don't know you said. the back muscles shimmering in the ocean. right are you sure you're not into no. and like you know how like the the the. bathing suit gets wet so you can see the.

ass cheeks better so he's doing strokes. and the ass cheeks will come out son. would how old is this boy legal. definitely legal right ass chicks would. stick out of the water right and I would. like all right and at one point I didn't. know where he went so I kind of just. walked around the beach to locate him. again yeah there he is now he's on his. back and you know his not that I was. looking but his little pee pee was. sticking out of the ocean out of the. ocean right and it was kind of like a.

buoy his way to me it was like a buoy so. I could follow the buoy yeah bobbing. back Bob almost like a like a shark. like anyway. um. then what's a crispy what is that noise. what's crunching fancy your mic chewing. or are you um oh yeah turn your mic off. [ __ ] piece of [ __ ] dude you're this. guy this what happened I'm in the middle. of a thing because he gets fired and he.

thinks now he thinks he's You're Not. Safe You're Not Safe dude what are you. eating into the microphone you cannot. fire me again oh oh my favorite candy. what is it it's called kitas It's. amazing give it to me give it to us so. you can't have it anymore I want some I. feel like a teacher bring it into the. office right now or you're go or you're. going home. pal is it really your favorite candy is. this real what is. it give it to Rudy.

what is it. [Music]. called it's got do you see it let me see. it might be the most racist thing I've. ever seen oh my. God oh my God so the audience can see it. at home. oh most racist fancy I yeah fancy. conitos means what uh like let me just. say something this do you want to guess.

can I also say this right it's like when. they when they were designing the M&M's. right the little M&M's and they went to. the brown Eminem some guy said just. don't put red lips on. it you know what I mean and goito [ __ ]. it you have to put red lips on it red. lusious lips on it this couldn't be more. racist it's the most racist thing I've. ever seen it's so funny Pete bring up an. image of conito so people can see what. is it it's chocolate what again it's. chocolate yeah it's peanuts oh it's just.

peanuts. yeah oh my God these are oh my God oh my. God oh my. God. conitos oh my God. conitos the delicious racist treat oh my. God oh my God holy [ __ ] did you like. chocolate cover. racism I know I can't that is insane but. can I be honest with you these are so. good so [ __ ] worth it sometimes it's.

just like sometimes it's that's how. confident they are right we're going to. put this racist thing but they'll still. buy it you know it's so [ __ ]. delicious they're confident they're so. good they can be racist yeah yeah yeah. fancy did you honestly like bring those. in and make the noise so you could do. that bit. no such a good actor. no such a bad actor that is so funny. though by the way because but but I'm. just saying this is the way that worked.

to me now thinking back was perfect so. he's in Spain yeah you know he's at like. a a store he sees Kito C how do you say. 11 on C he's at the 7-Eleven there the. and he looks at the thing I think this. will be good for bad friends right oh. this is a good beat yeah so he brings it. back M right he eats it live in front of. Liv he makes makes the rapper loud turn. his who the [ __ ] eats like that he does. yeah yeah yeah so I get out how how it.

works but you know what it worked for. the program so thank you fans 1 two 3. thank you fans thank you fans Rudy I. watched did you post on your story in. Hawaii of you Swimming with Sharks yeah. did you why didn't you keep that video. up I oh I just posted it on my story not. mine it was so cool did did you swim. with sharks I did it the the last time I. didn't do it this time oh it looks so. cool it was scary do you still have it. on your phone the video I think send it. to Pete and so we can show it the the. time before that I did it I was with.

Kila and her. sister and there was one point where me. and Cinda kila's sister was clinging. onto the boat like scared of sharks yeah. because it's like they have all these. rules right like you know mean don't. what was the rules don't lock do you. lock eyes with it or no you have to lock. eyes you lock eyes with it so it knows. that you're not afraid it then you have. to be above it right is that one of them. swim above you can't flounder flounder. what it was it flounder what don't. flounder no don't don't be a cool little. cute fish in the sea no look let's go.

don't don't move your limbs erratically. yeah but what is that word Flander. floundering floundering don't whatever. that is whatever that is do that fler. but it's like but let me say. something it's like that in the human. world as well you look people in the eye. no you do all those things you stay. above them above them and you don't. don't flounder right but and then the. human beings that you live amongst right. they they act accordingly right but you. always have Crazy Ones yeah right you.

always have the ders you have the guy. that show up Virginia TCH you I mean the. you know the the you know couple Ed. couple of loose sharks out there right. so when you're out there and they tell. you the rules that's that necessarily. doesn't mean that you can't get eaten. right there can be Rogue there can be. Rogue sharks right so me and quinda were. out there and one shark was looking up. at us and he goes nah oh he was over it. yeah I was doing all the things like. this you know what I mean I just locked.

eyes and I could see him go no you know. how they say that people cuz they they a. lot of times Surfers get bit they say. because it looks like a fish cuz the. surfboard is is bowed like this and then. your arms are out so it looks like the. limbs of a turtle or a fish for you they. look up it looks like a a perfect little. dumpling just floating a beautiful. little like a piece of bow you know a. piece of dim some just a beautiful piece. of of fried pork and veggies you could. have said something like um a seal no. like a pudgy seal I had to make it Asian. thing I know but you do look like a seal.

thank you no but in a good way yeah yeah. anyway I probably don't look like the. humans like a regular yeah like you know. like a lean you me I kind of you know. what I mean I do this like a turtle they. think you're a turtle yeah yeah so I'm. out there like this they think you're on. this literally what they see right and I. and I I I'm doing this with my face I'm. scared right and then they're like nah. so they so one shark went up and then. Quin and I went to the surface we clung. on to the boat and we tried to to climb. on the boat did it come near you near.

you yeah it was like right by our legs. waiting for you to slip up so when they. this time when they went I was like no. no you're not doing it you weren't. scared at all were you Rudy I was kind. of scared but when I got just lie just. lie were you scared no I wasn't scared. perfect wait you were a little bit. scared when you first got in yeah you. were yeah what calmed you down when I. got in the water and I saw them I just. didn't care anymore you just didn't feel. threatened no wow is this is true is. this true this is stup I'm being aumb.

guy but is it true that they don't allow. you to go in if you're on your period do. they ask women if you're on your period. no it doesn't matter it doesn't matter. why blood blood and water they can smell. much blood no no no but they can just. smell any leakage of blood yeah so if I. have like I bite my nails seriously if. there's blood in the water they can. smell they can smell blood from miles. away I have like blood farts like if I. farted in the ocean blood fart guys. can't go in that's their rules they said. people with their periods blood fart. guys and if you got maybe that's what it. was cuz I always do blood farts the. water in the water a bubble like a red.

bubble in the ocean so you're swimming. and it's a red bubble and the Sharks go. yum oh oh that guy looks good yeah yeah. I'll just gobble up the Bob bubble you. know what I mean but can we blood fart. blood fart but back to Diego I know you. want to go back to Diego you thought I. was going to go away from it I knew we. he's a nice guy we're not making fun of. him right so he's how old is he 20 21 20. or 21 he was there with his family he's. from San Diego. his so we go Jules Jules he's in the go.

swim right cuz she said that he was cute. and yes Diego she thinks you're cute. wake up wake up obviously she thinks. also Diego right she's the co-star of a. very popular podcast no no no the most. popular podcast one of the most popular. podcast the most popular let's quit it. to music back in the late 60s it would. be were mama and the Papas we're BG's. we're the BG's we're the bgs right and. she's Starship she's morce. 100% so who who am I you're Barry you're.

Barry I'm Barry you're you got to be. Barry yeah and you're I'm the one with. the [ __ ] up face you're the one with. the [ __ ] up F the tee with the teeth. yeah yeah so but you're Maurice right so. we're the be's um anyway um she was too. shy to do it we kept pushing her well. the pushing her is not going to make her. go do it but her sister came up whose. sister Diego's sister oh Diego's sister. you know I mean how old are they Diego's. sister was 23 yeah a little bit older. little more confidence right she just.

comes over and she goes my brother said. that you were famous I just don't know. who the [ __ ] you are oo little cocky. yeah but I liked it though yeah smooth I. liked it I wanted first my first. reaction I wanted to go like just right. off the face that right right but I went. good good that was confident very good. yeah so so she says you my brother says. you're famous I don't know who you are. and you say yeah [ __ ] I'm no I go you. know you have to play humble so I go. yeah not a lot of people do it's I don't. know it's a cult thing so it's a cult.

thing mhm so then um Diego comes out of. the water looking like a snack oh just. wet looking like a. conitos looking like a chocolate covered. peanut here comes the kitos it was Diego. not Ian. Edwards all right it was Ian Edwards it. was okay it was Diego not Devon I. understand right all right she comes up. and um they exchange information. right are you embarrassed right now no.

I'm being genuine when I say this how. does this go in your generation now when. you say is it right away like let me get. your number or is it like let me get. your Instagram or how does that work. Instagram yeah it's Graham see that's so. funny gr like but our generation when. you it was it was always like can I have. your you'd have to ask the girl for her. number your home number right can I have. your home number can I have your home. phone number right that you can never. get them at home either right you just. you would call 20 times a day this is. what happened literally it was and the. dad would answer hello hang immedi I.

would hang up immediately I was so. scared or I always wanted like answering. machine I loved answering machine and. here's the thing I would leave a message. like if I met a girl yeah and then I. wouldn't leave the house for 3 days just. waiting for them to until the phone call. right dude this is so funny and back. then you had no Postmates or anything. like that right so You' just be sitting. there you're like I'm not going to eat. food for a day and a half you even go to. the another room cuz you you want you. miss the call I can't miss this call. yeah so you're just staring at the phone. for like 24 hours God you that's so. funny you guys will never know that. feeling of like when you leave a message.

so if I called a girl and her mom. answered then I could handle it but if. the dad answered or theang or the. brother oh my God I'd throw the [ __ ]. phone if the brother's like what's up. I'm like [ __ ] this I would hang up. immediately yeah cuz the brother's. already hated you they [ __ ] hated you. so you weren't going to be like hey man. what's up because they're like what did. you want what did people do when they. were like late for work you like you're. in the car right you were just allowed. to be late are you sure well then you'd. show up and you'd go sorry I was late.

there was an accident and because they. couldn't check it on social media they. were like oh there must have been an. accident oh you could say anything you. got away with everything yeah there was. a gigantic lizard like I thought it was. Godzilla at first but and and everybody. your boss is like wow lizards are out. again all right well good luck in the. office better help Bob oh my God we've. talked about this on the show it's it's. honestly it's the best service yeah that. we we could ever promote because it's. something that we use in our own lives. um I'm going to ask you Andrew is there. something interfering with your. happiness or preventing you from.

achieving your goals probably a lot of. things a lot of things and I'm going to. tell you this right now better help will. help right it's uh it's your own. licensed professional therapist and you. can start communicating in under 48. hours and it really is really cool it's. not a crisis line it's not it's not. self-help it's professional counseling. done securely online and and everyone. that I know in my personal life uses it. and it's just a great service yeah I. mean look traditional uh in-person. therapy tends to be pretty expensive and. also people don't like to go to the. office is especially because Rona um I.

think this is amazing because you can. use it uh worldwide clients can use it. worldwide you log into your account. anytime anywhere send a message to your. counselor and you'll get thoughtful and. timely responses they want you to start. living a happier uh happier life today. visit their website you can see the. reviews affordable than it's more. affordable than traditional offline. counseling and financial aid is. available yeah go to betterhelp.com. badri that's betterhelp HP join the over. 1 million people who have taken charge. of their mental health with the help of. an experienced professional this podcast. is sponsored by better help and friends. listeners get 10% off their first month.

at betterhelp.com badri that's 10% off. your first month at betterhelp.com. badri B oh this summer get the most out. of your travels abroad by learning the. language of your destination with Babel. the number one selling language learning. app from ordering in restaurants to. asking for directions gaining a deeper. understanding of the culture Babel makes. the whole process of learning a new. language addictively fun and very easy. bite-sized lessons you can actually use. in the real world B it's 15minute. lessons it makes the perfect way to. learn a l language on the Go Guys and if.

they use you know things that you would. normal people would say you know real. phras real world phrases right they. don't have stuff they don't have stuff. you're never going to use there are so. many ways to learn with Babel in. addition to lessons you can access. podcast games video stories and even. live classes start your new language. learning Journey today with Babel um the. best part is uh Babel lessons were. created by over a hundred language. experts and with Babel you can choose. from 14 different languages Spanish. French Italian German all of your faves.

plus Babel's speech recognition. technology helps you to improve your. pronunciation and accent and accent I. love this look I'm using Babel right now. because I'm trying to get to Italy but. who knows if Italy's still going to be. open when um I'm time to travel but. hopefully so right now save up to 65% of. your subscription wow when you go to. babel.com bfri that's Babel b a BB. .com/briowfc. I remember going to the movie theater I.

never forget I was meeting my friends. Matt Brent um Shawn at the movie theater. and something was miscommunicated the. timing or something right I get there. nobody's there yeah nobody's there yeah. my mom dropped me. off this is the thing I couldn't text. mom come back no I'm there alone yeah at. the movie theater what did I do I. watched the movie by myself yeah yeah I. went and I watched the movie and then. when I came up my mom picked me up and.

she was like how was it I was like. nobody was here yeah I was here by. myself and then I realized when we I got. home I called them and they're like no. tomorrow we're going tomorrow okay I. already saw it so now it's I can't go. there was no way to go oh [ __ ] we. screwed up it's tomorrow no you just. have to like live through those moments. oh the you you were you around when when. you got auditions you had to show up at. your agency to get the sides please and. also you had to [ __ ] do this the. stupid like slate videos in their office. and hand them a head shot you'd have to.

go get your head shot printed out hand. them the head shot stand there and they. would take photos and you just gave them. a [ __ ] photo yeah and then they would. do a video of you going hi 6' one and. then turn to the side and then turn to. the side and then you'd give them all. your [ __ ] read your [ __ ] and then get. out well we would they my agency had a. filing cabinet in an Alleyway outside. the agency and they would say you know. we're the office is closed but go to the. filing cabinet so then you would show up. you drive all the way to Beverly Hills. or wherever right you'd wait in line.

with other actors to get the sides to. get the sides and some guy doesn't know. his last name jski I where's the day you. know what I mean and then you would it. would spend You' spend two hours doing. this that's insane and then you would. get it finally and your line is yes I. can or whatever it's like one line and. then you're just like super salad and. then you don't get then you don't get it. either of course you're not going to get. you show the next day you don't get it. it's the worst uh those days are all. gone now you have the easiest venience. of let me get your Instagram so he gets.

your Gram back to Diego our favorite. conitos so he gets your Instagram and. you go hit me up on the gram and I'll. talk to you later and then he goes away. yeah you weren't chatting a little bit. um he just asked if I was related to. Bobby and you said yes yeah and then. that's what else we're not yeah but for. the but for this it doesn't oh oh but in. certain in circumstances some. circumstances you use that of course but. in other circumstances you don't like. we're at a restaurant and I'll go that's. my daughter and she'll go no he's not.

we're not blood related she'll just say. that out loud I don't know he I just. happen to live with it you know what I. mean she like goes into an explanation. but when it comes to [ __ ] Diego you. go yeah we're related I get it I totally. get it you got to use it to your. advantage you would do the exact same. thing anyway they've been doing messages. back and forth okay so you DM Instagram. no but no phone number exchange yet no. phone just d right does it ever go to. phone number or no I don't know she. doesn't know to do it that's what we're. going to is this the first time dming. with a boy like this kind of oo yeah he.

lives in San Diego so I was telling her. to to just go here's something Rudy. doesn't know we've hacked your phone. we're going to bring up bring up the DMS. Pete we have them right here we'd like. to read them out loud yeah no but what. she has to do is take a risk and go at. least hey if you're ever in La let's. hang out or something like that or. invite him up to La yeah yeah why don't. you invite him up be like come up here. and let's watch a movie or have dinner. on a movie would you do that.

uh no it doesn't seem can you do this. and this would like really show me if. you if we're think if you think we're. blood related and we're really close. yeah there that means trust and there's. like a you know a bond trust that you. and I have and it would really show me a. lot if you just gave me your Instagram. right now no I guess there's no trust no. trust and just just listen and we won't. I promise you we won't send it until we.

get your Okay the message I think that's. let's do it yeah yeah I don't. try come on just doy Rudy I promise you. I promise you I won't send it this is. for the show and if I send it how about. this if I do send it without your. approval we keep mama okay okay okay oh. my God now you now she wants you to send. it yeah yeah all right so throw the DM. over there and we're not going to be. able to put it up to show the so you. have to dictate everything cuz we can't. show them I dictate I'll dictate it yeah.

yeah don't start deleting stuff now I. won't go hand him the phone yeah give me. the phone this is great this is a. breakthrough moment for you guys I know. bring it over here all right Slow Down. slow down you don't want to be that kind. of parent you know give me the [ __ ]. thing when are you not in pajamas by the. way I it's said thater I said that wear. some adult clothes so we need to buy you. some. clothes okay I just we one thing that. like makes me want to vomit already do. you do you want do it so it's l for you. she knows I'm not going to text him no.

no I just someone say you just said. George is the. best. what what does that even mean so you're. lying I like George he's not the best. he's not even close to being the best. yeah he's middle he's fine he's okay. he's fine he's normal George is the best. I want to see what you typ in it he's. not going to type anything yet can I. just say this right now and time out. real fast George George has George has. 16,000 followers I want to I want to say. this for my fans right now cuz fancy and.

I went to lunch today yeah George has. 16,000 fancy has 15.9 he is about to. pass George on Instagram and you know. how mad George is going to be please. follow Fancy please follow fancy and. we'll put it right down here it's fancy. b period one fancy b period one please. follow fancy we love you go D dude so I. just want this is the kind of she's. playing a game what just let me finish. we'll cut this out if you if you're too. uncomfortable about it all right Bob. we're not going to cut it out I know so. I just want to so at.

12:52 today right p.m. p.m. today post. meridian he goes how does it feel like. to be back in La how does it feel like. to be back in La her right okay no. response from her let's hear what it. sounds like from a Spaniard what is it. let's hear how he would say it go ahead. fans how does it feel to be back in La. Rudy right okay but no response from her. o cold so now he's kind of waiting. around he's like ah no response so he. gives another thing uh-oh Diego Diego uh. oh Diego Diego actually um how long have.

you been in La for oh let's hear it. fans how long have you been in a l for. oh it sounds desperate so desperate it's. so desperate right so and then you. haven't responded back why not cuz I. just don't want to yet we're really. blowing up your spot so let's respond. then yeah um yeah because you know byit. by the way we're not making fun of Diego. or your DM change and if it was very. private we would never talk about on the. show that being said we're showing Diego.

live on a show how rude you are for not. responding rude I'm not no that is rude. yeah it's so rude so rude um let's. respond. Bob how long have you been in La how. about like. um you know for a while but I haven't. really met anyone quite like. you yeah for a. while hold hold on hold on hold on make. a make a joke first all right make a. joke first like uh the boat sunk after I.

got over here so something like that. yeah wait how's it how actually how long. La for um long enough they'll say like. 80 Sons or something like that 80. Sons a really lame Miss 80 Sons no how. how long how long have you been in La. almost 3 years three years three years. but it feels like you know no don't say. three years how how look three years is. what 365 times three is say over a. thousand Sons okay all right over a.

thousand over a thousand Sons let's see. if he gets that yeah a thousand Sons. over a thousand Sons because in the. Philippines that's how they refer to a. day as a son now do I have my permission. to yeah to send this over a thousand. over a thousand. Sons she going have to do so much damage. control I sent it over thousand sons and. since he did two what are you what do. you do agree agree I agree I think it. should be back to back TI T and because. now and you should say now you're going.

to answer the first question and the. first question was what can I you did a. thousand Sons i w to do my own message. go ahead yeah yo son yo son you looked. hella rip on that beach. BTW btbs yo son no no no BTW what's BTW. by the way by the way BTW you looked. hella ripped yeah by the way you looked. hella ripped hella ripped.

H ripped on the beach da ripped on the. beach and then what's another good. phrase um B cuz I just want to say c c c. is C it's like a bruh it's like a new k. c c c yeah C you look hella ripped read. it by the way you look hella ripped on. the beach. C can I send it yeah yes what yes you. want me to say I can send that she's. having fun yeah we're having fun by the.

way I sent it but this this doesn't mean. I'm keeping [ __ ] the dog because it's. sending it if you know what I mean if. you disapprove so we did two he goes how. does it feel back to be back in La space. actually how long have you been in La. for and you said over a thousand. Son by the way you looked hella. ripped give it. back yeah he's never respond he's never. going to respond to that oh my God [ __ ]. the arm BR wait when does this air let's.

give it up for Rudy by the way for great. job when does this when does when does. this air the second Monday the 2 right. August 2nd oh we AUST you're fine with. you're fine with the thing yeah all. right August 2N what's why what's wrong. what was what there was something was. there a problem but no here's what she's. going to do now though is this the third. arm no no no it's it was already broken. and it's all the way over there yeah so. the third message she's going to send. the third message and she's going to go. that was just that was last two messages. were from Andrew Santino and Bobby Lee.

but at least let him let let's see if he. can play with it like let's see if he at. least has fun yeah yeah because because. let it sit for a second yeah right. because you could do that third message. even if he doesn't respond he thinks. it's weird yeah three hours from now and. then he'll be like oh that funny keep. the keep the um DM open to see if he's. seen it okay yeah and just let us know. if anytime during the POS wait wait it. shows you that you can see it it says. seen yeah I don't know yeah I know. because when I text you it says read. yeah yeah and then you pretend like you. didn't know and I was like I saw you.

read it I saw you read. it I don't I I think I'm a weasel yeah. no no no let's be real am I kind of no. what are you talking about well let's. take a vote let's take a studio vote. yeah yeah yeah everyone come in here no. they can do it from where they are I. can't to see their faces all right come. in. here I'm to I have to turn this on it's. so hot in here so swe are you are you. warm now yeah you were cold yeah yeah. all right okay well we're not going to. be able to see them on camera but you. just want to be I want to see their. faces right all right get in here fans.

I'm Pete I'm looking at you right now. bud and I before you even answer I have. to say you know what I mean I have to. say it's been a pleasure. work he called you a weasel right away. okay you can leave no no no no no let. him stay let him stay no he already said. a thing let him stay this is a real. confession I want to hear the real deal. Holyfield so um you know it's been a. pleasure working with you you show up. here on time you do a really good job. and you know here's another thing that. you do is you have a trustworthy kind of.

energy about you like I feel safe I feel. like um Rudy safe we're all safe in your. in your presence and I just think that. um I'd really like to work with you for. the rest of my life am I a weasel you. know what you got caught up in it. happens to anybody no thank you. dismissed a no from thank you dismissed. thank you I'm going to change my. answer okay sit there right yeah. you know I think that.

um the the exchange we do back and forth. and the energies exchange it's like two. people two Souls that's been doing that. for. eternity it really does feel like okay. all right it's like um we were sort of. your you're my ying and I'm your yang. you know we're you're more of yeah you. are more of a Yang I. guess you have to say that I feel I've. always thought I was you're very much of. a yang I've been more YY you've been so. much more Yang you're more Yang than any.

Yin I've ever met but here's the thing. he's super young as well he's. remarkably yeah so if he's more Yang. than I am I have to be the Y I got to. tell you you're a lot of Yang we're both. yangs okay F that's why yeah yeah and. that is why um I think that since I feel. like we've been doing this eternity our. souls and that it's we're two pieces in. a pot as I say and um I feel like I've. known you forever and I I just really. think that I feel comfortable with you. as well more than that fat piece of [ __ ].

that was just in here. whoa oh ask him already yeah yeah come. on the buffalo with tits that was in. here oh my God mean come on I'm sorry. ask the question ask him do you think. I'm a. weasel um I don't really know the. meaning of that word oh that's great. he's using the cop out of the second. language that's really smart you got you. got to let him go on that yeah you're. dismissed good luck. thank you fans thank you yeah I I think.

I have weasel you're not a weasel dude I. do have no because I've done stuff like. you have weasel Tendencies for sure no I. did that at the store once what I did a. big weasly thing what' you do so I was. at the store and um we had this Thai. manager you never met him and his name. was Kirk what do you mean the the the. guy that ended up owning that restaurant. down in Santa. Monica didn't he open up a tie place. down in Santa Monica yeah that's that's. that's not him that was was um Tony Tony. yeah yeah okay so Kirk was this like he.

was in like the Thai military oh so if. you should up a minute L you're fired I. love it right if you went over your time. you never got spot again wow like he was. militant legit legit I like it but. nobody liked working with him cuz he was. just too much yeah everyone hated him. and so but that was a time when I wasn't. getting any sponse because the talent. coordinator didn't like me who I can't. tell you fine right anyway Tommy no W. before Tommy no I was just fing that's.

funny so so and everyone hated Kirk but. Kirk because I was Asian Kirk would walk. up to me go hey buddy you want some time. he loved you I go you put me up there I. do well for you for you anything oh he. loved you love me so he would put me up. it would enrage everybody why why you. weren't good enough yet no I was okay. but it's like you didn't deserve the. spots yet not really you know I mean. that's fine every time someone was late. B. you want to go up do some do sometimes.

hey that's Asian privilege Asian. privilege right so then um Eleanor and a. bunch the whole staff even the comics. all wrote a petition no to get Kirk. fired because you were getting stage. time no no because they just didn't like. them they just hated them they hated. them okay but when I caught wind of this. petition mhm I went to the top oh you. went to Mitsy holy [ __ ] and Paulie the. whole family oh wow you're your weight. to rat these ins subordinates oh my God.

what were you ratting on them about I. was warning them about this about this. list of this people them signing and. then I was like I was also krook's a. great guy you yeah like a weasel you are. a little because I'm a Survivor you are. I'm trying to survive cockroach but then. everyone found out that I did that right. of course and then everyone for Years. hated me for years no one would say hi. to me who hated you the most Elanor did. she did she hate you now no we love each.

other but she did there's a deep love. now what did she you think what what got. her over the hump like what made her. stop hating you I don't know what. happened um about okay so that happened. over 20 years ago a long time ago yeah. so she didn't talk to me for 20 years. holy [ __ ] in fact when I saw her in the. hallway I'd have to go around cuz she. could beat the [ __ ] out of you by not. that it was just the [ __ ] her energy I. [ __ ] she could beat the [ __ ] out of you. that's what it was yeah. so one day um maybe three years ago.

there was a party like a like a. Christmas party or and I was downstairs. you know where the podcast room is at. The Comedy Store yeah and a bunch of. people were down there and I walked in. there I didn't know El was there and. then there were so many people there I. got just kind of got stuck near her I. couldn't get out and then I turn around. like this and Elanor is right here. perfect right and she looks at me and I. look at her and she. goes do you want to do my podcast oh and. I go yeah it was all gone no we had to.

do it at the on the podcast oh you. hashed it out on the podcast on the. podcast we hashed it out but it was. cathartic it was great oh that's good it. was great but you know I have done a lot. of weasly things in my life but only out. of survival right it's fight ORF flight. and you're going to fight you're. fighting yeah you don't have a choice. and and I'm generally only like that. when it comes to my career career yeah. that is true I agree with you on that be. spoke post this is my favorite thing in. the whole world awesome this summer if. you're if you're an outdoor person that.

likes to get Adventures under your belt. you got to use bepoke post because their. lineup of Essentials in their box of. awesome collection for guys is. guaranteed to upgrade your life guys. guys box of awesome is the greatest box. you'll ever open because it has stuff. everything that you pull out is. something that's like you're going to be. like in a wow moment it's wow moments. you know what whether you're uh in the. wilderness or at home uh that you're. taking your bar to Pro levels you do. from style and groom Goods to barware. cooking tools and outdoor gear box of.

awesome has collections for every part. of your life every single one just go. online uh at box ofawesome.com take the. quiz your answers are going to help them. pick the right box of awesome for you. they release new boxes every single. month a ton of different categories it's. free to sign up you can skip a month the. best gift too a great gift you fill it. out your buddy you you know your buddy. you know your buddy what they like and. what they don't like and then you get. the box you give your buddy the thing. the Buddy will be so happy so happy it's. it's only 45 bucks but it has over $70. worth a gear get 20% off your first. monthly box when you sign up at box.

ofawesome.com and enter the code bad. friends at checkout that's box. ofawesome.com codee bad friends for 20%. off your first box Buffy oh we love our. Buffy I think it strengthened our. relationship cuz I remember a couple. years ago you gave me a buffy sheet and. this is the same comfort that I use. today it's one of my favorites of all. time it's comfy you can snuggle up it's. the best No More Night sweating dude I. used to night sweat it was disgusting uh. you don't night sweat because this. thinging is so cooling on your skin or. day sweat when you're taking a nap.

taking a mid day nap it's 100%. plant-based design is breathable and. keeps you at a comfortable temperature. in a way that polyester and downfill. comforters cannot do it's softer than. cotton and naturally soothes the skin it. does it's so nice on my skin it's Earth. friendly too eucalyptus uses 10 times. less water than cotton to grow its fiber. produced using recyclable Earth friendly. solvents look it's hyperallergenic it's. crueltyfree there's no down in there. we've said this a ton on the show we. love Buffy Buffy we both use it we both. love it why not choose a 100%. plant-based betting it's better for you.

and for the Earth there's a free trial. right Bob oh check it. out say it I can't read it it's so it's. so small get a big form there you go. bigger oh you can try a comforter in. your own bed for free if you don't love. it return it at no cost come on that's a. no-brainer for you if you don't like it. give it back or just give it to me and. Bob for $20 off your Buffy comforter. visit buffy.co and enter code bad. friends that's $20 off your Buffy. comforter when you visit Buffy . and. enter the code bad friends I'm sure. you've done stuff in your career that's.

a little shady to save my own. ass or to good ahead oh how about this. okay I've actually been my agents weasel. and lied about a thing that they appr. approve that I got in trouble for when I. can't tell the whole I can't I know it's. hard but there's a lot of incidences but. what they did was weasel and so what I. did was rat them all out I showed the. emails yeah because denied it they're. like we never said that that was okay. for him to do yeah oh yeah send send.

send I sent all the emails they all. approved it all of them yeah yeah yeah. CU they were trying to agents are just. they all they do is go we never said to. him we didn't say he could do we didn't. do that yeah yeah you did I sent that I. can't tell the story it's all it's not. fun but no I do I'll do it to protect. you do it if they're backing you into a. corner and you don't have a choice yeah. you didn't have a choice if you didn't. have a choice why did you paint your. nails by the way show the audience. so um well hold it up to the camera so. they can actually see it so the girls so.

the girls were were going to Hawaii yeah. and they you know how they do their. little girly things and they go around. the table you felt left out no they had. all the stickers and stuff right and. they were like. um Tito Bobby paint your nails and I go. why cuz we're going to Hawaii like okay. that's pretty much it did you want him. to paint his nails yeah you did after. all these time after all these years you. still can't can't put the mic near your. face it's almost shocking it's insane. it's insane it's at this point it's.

almost like. scary wait so did you ask him or did. Kila push for it I think I told him you. said he had to do it did you paint them. or did he do it he did why don't you. have the girls do it look at how much. better of a job they would have done. that's nicking and scratching and. chipping I I have another thing I want. to cash out with her oh go ahead is so. this new guy Diego oh let's check in. with Diego did he yeah yeah yeah welcome. back to check in hey let's have fancy. say checking in with. checking with Diego checking him with.

Diego anything nothing damn this guy you. know what it is though he probably sees. that youve dm'd him but he doesn't want. to open it because he wants to give it. time well I have I think let me see if. he befriended my friend request because. I could also do a second thing you know. what I mean yeah yeah yeah so let's do. this oh wait you requested his. friendship yeah smooth yeah so let's go. to cuz his his his is his profile. private is that why it mhm yeah he. befriended it so I can now message.

okay so sa BR sa yes and give the Shaka. give this give the. Shaka r a b r ah what's up bruh BR and. then shakka and then shakka give the. shakka Emoji can I do a thumbs up is. that the same shakka is way better. shakka is bra and I know but I can't. find it oh there it is right under the. hands right under the hands yeah s br. what's up bro yeah can I see a picture. of this guy I want to see what he looks.

like the he doesn't have any photos of. him well let me. see that's his dad just give me the. phone so there's no I'm I'm. looking that's his mom that's his sister. well I can compile what he looks like. through those two people I guess oh. there we go that's him cuz he took a. photo with. me oh he is good-looking yeah yeah he's. a goodlooking guy wow. DS uhoh spaghettio. I think this we're off to uh a little.

romance and he lives in SD let me can I. finish this message or what bro yeah. sapra I think SAA is all we need to say. to this guy really well sa BR says a lot. sa BR sa BR all right s you could be. trying to fight him you could try to. hang out sa BR sa BR send right and then. if you messages back that'll be good so. this was a one-time love story in Hawaii. yeah no there was another one right. Jesus another one right. no damn she got a lot of Hawaii lovers. huh I don't there's the GU that you.

asked for surfing instructions. uhoh it was. nothing but you liked him yeah it was. cute yeah but did you get the. number DM the DM no my aunt got his. number D the Filipinos are. aggressive give me your number for my my. my KN I know but we just need her to get. open up a bit you know she's getting. I think if you look back on the episodes. that we started the show you've.

definitely changed your Vibe you've. definitely gotten more open more yeah. you're getting more confident more. confident yeah you know like look Bobby. in the eye right now let's see your. confidence level tell him to go [ __ ]. himself look him right in the eye and. say go [ __ ] yourself do it go [ __ ]. yourself whoa that was so. believable I love it man this is good I. like this new rude do more do more do. more do more tell her look him in the. eye and say you're a fat piece of [ __ ]. move the mic down so the camera can see. you move below your mouth there you go.

look him right in the eye and do it. you're a fat piece of. [ __ ]. [ __ ] ready ready for another one look. look him right in the eye and say you're. not my blood and I don't respect you at. all you're not my blood and I don't. respect you at all oh my God it looks so. real when she says. it wo. oo that was a good one that was a good.

one no one one more one one last one one. last one for the I like it I like it I. like. it say look him in the eye and say I. can't wait I can't I can't wait till. aunti Kila leaves you I can't wait till. AE Kila leaves you oh my god oh that one. hurts that one's stung he's getting hit. a little bit [ __ ] wow woo W that was a. good one now say I'm sorry I mean none. of it I'm sorry T Bobby I don't mean any.

of it that I don't believe I believe. believe that that's the thing I didn't. believe that last part that last part. was a lie it was a lie all the other. stuff was truism wait a minute wait a. minute let's look him in the eye again. and say I'm I I didn't mean any of that. I didn't mean any of that no the. inflection I. didn't yeah yeah yeah you meant a lot of. that. stuff wow but you know what um what did. you smell in the car ride from the. airport to home all farts all farts.

that's what you get that's what you get. that's your you going to say that today. all farts right so yesterday you I did. preemptive farts in your face you loaded. up yeah they were nasty play that clip. Pete what is that. [Laughter].

really funny this guy's great I love. this guy shaking but I like that it. fills up his belly look it fills up his. stomach. yeah this guy's great would you go out. with this guy yeah is this guy datable. is this this like Diego or a datable guy. too fat all right get rid of it get rid. of it hey so so I I want to ask you if. you've seen this show and this clip is. from the show it's called Uh oh we'll do. this first uh this there's a show called. sexy beast do you know what that is I. saw the movie but not the look at this.

so it's a dating show on Netflix yeah. and you get dressed up like a furry yeah. and you go on a date yeah to see if you. fall in love and then if you get through. uh Like Love is Blind in all these shows. then you get to take off the makeup and. everything but they have to go on a date. and look like this that's hilarious can. you and I do this I'm serious we can. hire professional makeup people to make. you and I go out when we go do our date. date who though you and me are going out. on a date oh okay let's do it I want to. do a first date with you yeah and look. like look at how good the makeup so good.

is it all guys or no no no no no there's. there's that was that other that was a. woman there look that's and they go out. on dates like this that's insane I can't. wait to see the show I just saw the clip. today look at how good the makeup is. it's so good that baboon look at that. look at that amazing but they have to I. mean it's not as if they shoot this in. one day no it takes forever takes months. so every morning she get this person. gets a 4:00 a.m. wakeup call yeah they. do three hours of this makeup no that's. six hours makeup dude it's insane it's. insane that's I love dating show have.

you seen this show do you know about the. show no show that clip show that clip of. the one from the one look at that guy. show that clip from the old dating show. the old the the the first kiss. show I'm hoping that he's a really great. I think my strategy is just go for the. kiss maybe I'll be able to like slip. tongue who knows maybe she's my first. girlfriend maybe she's his first. girlfriend yeah there he is all right. walking towards her get ready to make. that move how's it going good how are.

you good what's your name em I'm Josh. hi um can I kiss you can I kiss you. sure. hoping he doesn't go back to just the. part he kisses her on the cheek. it's so uncomfortable but something. happened well he I mean he got so scared.

you hear when he walks in listen turn up. the volume when he walks in listen he. audibly goes H. listen yeah yeah yeah yeah that's a good. sign hello hello how's it going good. good what's your name Emily he's smiling. he's like murder. smiling yeah got to kiss you oh yeah. stop stop stop stop hold on. oh got I kiss you.

you oh my God how does she not feel. threatened immediately I would just turn. around and just walk away walk away yeah. yeah what go ahead or say no no. go sure. sure. okay the way the way he had to hold her. shoulder I feels so [ __ ] bad for her. I feel so bad for her for her because.

she she said yes you can kiss me imagine. the amount of rejection she feels she's. way prettier than this guy yeah yeah and. she's like I guess you can K imagine. this can I [ __ ] you. yeah he just smacking his penis against. it but then he holds her he hits it and. then hugs her no he comes he comes he. goes he comes and then. just I mean this dude I love thisy he.

you know guys like this she just be like. I I'm a monk I'm a monk now and just go. out into the mountains live other monks. yep and do the Kong and make the thing. pick things yeah yeah yeah do do the. thing you right you Kong every day you. know what I mean and just go to sleep. meditate like the incense right and the. candles the candles right make a routine. at night you blow everything out right. do more of this go to sleep and then.

just die you got to yeah no you don't. think monks jerk off they might but are. monks allowed to masturbate are monks. allowed to masturbate Google that cuz. wouldn't you think you'd have to you're. not allowed to see people right it's. like priests priests can't have they. can't have sex are monks allowed to. masturbate uh Buddhist monks are. forbidden from any sexual activity. including masturbation and watching porn. strictly enforced how would they know. well you'd have to go in the forest. imagine how that's what we did when we. were kids we weren mons we'd go jerk off.

in the woods yeah you couldn't do it at. home you'd get caught if you had. brothers and sisters you were going to. get caught brother Elias where are you. going oh just to the woods for a. moment that that gets that's a dead. giveaway why because you have to be. specific ask me keep talking to me I'm. trying to cover my own story all all so. Elias give me a monk name yeah yeah um. what's a monk name but he's Brutus monk. right I'll make it out right okay. tongo where are you going to the woods. to meditate we have a temple right over.

here where everyone else is meditating I. understand but the Lord is closer to me. with the trees but since we're Buddhist. we don't believe in a. Lord you got me. [Laughter]. there so so brother Togo what again I. ask again I ask. going I ask why are you going in through.

the forest because I want to be one with. nature you're jerking off again okay I'm. jerking off you got me there you got me. there this mon always says you got me. there every you got me there every day. every day every brother too right is out. of the forest Jing and he has some sort. of weird conversation with these guys. every [ __ ] day he tries to make other. [ __ ] excuses he tries to cover up. every day just next about next day. brother.

too brother too where are you going to. the woods to. meditate I don't know why that makes me. laugh oh that makes me laugh so hard. every day every day by the way come I. come back and I I clearly have seamen on. my on my robe ask me what it is. yeah Circ let give air I come back from. the woods I clearly have SE go go yes. what's that on your rope oh this must be. trep from one of the trees Tre it's trep.

from one of the trees I was rubbing. against thank you for telling me I now. tell me it's jiz now tell me it's. clearly. jiz oh oh my Sor I don't know why that. made me left so Hur tell me it's clearly. J right no it's just Tre from one of the. trees brother Togo it's obviously jizz. you got me there. oh how would you cover it up how could. you even do it I I don't think brother.

mul why are you why are brother magul. why are you leaving the temple I would. just be on BR too thank you for asking. where are you going I would just be like. I would do I would say anything to get. away from not answering the question. right right just keep skirting around. ask me brother magul why are you leaving. I the the mushroom stew we had this. morning was a little too salty oh oh. you're going to [ __ ] in the woods yes. all right sis.

sister oh all right that's so funny by. the way it impossible you know this is a. lie what they have to masturbate Bobby. it's a it's natural it's ornate it's in. your body it's a part of your so your. your being it's like what they when they. say like um you can't repress. sexualization no here's the thing this. is that when you go to essay meetings. right or you go to a place like I went. to a couple years ago right yeah and sex. and and and pornography and sex is an.

addiction it's substance abuse yeah you. know I've talked to friends of mine and. I go did you masturbate you go we're. allowed to Mex masturbate but we don't. think of anything or we don't look at. porn what do you do then they're just. basically. unloading just getting relief I think. that if you didn't masturbate for six. months or or six months or yeah or or. get it out of your body I think that a. couple of tugs and it's out and it's out. think about it like this.

though this is insane no because I I my. the longest I've gone is 47 days without. jerking off without ejaculating or. sexual contact nothing 47 days when did. you do this and why I did it with my. friend Charlie about nine years ago what. do you mean with my friend Charlie no we. no we we're at Starbucks we're Starbucks. and on the 47th day you're like we're. [ __ ] each other know he he lasted. seven months he did have no sexual. contact no but I lasted 47 days and I. just couldn't do it wait a minute wait a.

minute hold on hold on no sexual contact. with with somebody or is it no. ejaculation like could he kiss could he. kiss or yeah but those little those. things will always lead to [ __ ] so. you're saying no kissing no touching. another wow holy [ __ ] seven months no. physical interaction people do it for. years Steve O did it for. years for years no sexual interaction. for years why because of addiction. because his sponsor said that like let's. you know set a time and he goes all.

right I'll do a year and then a year. went and then he did another year cuz he. used sex sexual sexual and then he got a. girlfriend yeah a wife now right a wife. and now he [ __ ] her but my point is is. that you know it's doable you went 47. days yeah it was so hard though how how. long how many years ago like 10 years. ago okay today Bobby Lee right now today. 2021 how long could you go without. sexual release well if it was a. competition between you and I mhm. forever forever. do you want to do it yeah you really do.

yeah how how will I know that if you're. lying or not well we're going to live. stream each other 24/7 Pete's gonna. follow you and Andre will follow me. around with the camera in our beds with. us at night honestly let's it's. impossible it's not impossible I think. we can do it if we wrote a contract and. then if you just said listen it's not a. if you said to me this is the Seinfeld. episode yeah four days from now dude I. did it then I'd be like okay cool I won. that's it's just I don't I what I'm. telling you is I don't think you can. laugh last like you think you can last. dude I lasted 47 days I can do it 10. years ago yeah what's the difference I.

was 40 times change no I can do when was. the last time you jerked off two nights. ago okay but my libido right is much. lower now I know you're older now yeah. so it's like I think I can do it you. really do yeah I can beat. you no that's only because you think. because you want to beat me that's not I. that's just the thing cuz you're in your. little brain you're like I just need to. beat him so you'll just hurt yourself. just to think that would be hurt either. I think it' be good or what are you. going to tell. Kila what if she's like I'm feeling I'm.

feeling like I want to hook up I would. tell her tonight I I would tell her. tonight I go me and Andrew are doing. this thing absence thing right M and. we're going to see how long we can go I. think she'll be fine with it fine my. health okay will you tell your girl yes. let's do it all right so you guys heard. heard it here first we're going to do it. let's see how long we can hold out all. right I'm going to jerk off the moment I. get home are you really no yeah yeah no. I'm gonna hold it out cuz I go to New. York Tuesday. that's good the longer you're out of. town oh no that's that's bad because. that's hotels are jerkoff friendly jerk.

off City the moment I landed a new city. for comedy I'm jerking off and the hotel. too I jerk off what else am I doing. there yeah I poop I take a big chug of. water and ier I like I like unload on. like the the she the like the [ __ ]. the walls L Shades lamp shades. everything everything everything because. it's like um it's Freedom it's not just. Freedom it's marking oh territory like I. was here phon that's that's funny you. don't want to hear any of this stuff do. you no no well tell me if Diego hit you. back already will you he did didn't he.

nothing did he see it no did you ever. see did you ever um stay at the condo at. the Lo hoyya Comedy Store yeah that. condo though is fascinating well cuz the. amount of seen that's been in that c. it's no it's more seen than you would. know because I'll tell you why because I. stayed there once with Brian Bradley I. don't even know who that is you don't. know him andad and these were 1980s gay. the first gay comedians way before Jason. Stewart these were the first gay.

Comedians and they were old men and I. was a young kid right and I was staying. at the condo with them and late night. they go hey kid you want to hear a. story and I go I was scared yeah I think. I didn't think you know but I go I I. like stories and he goes in 1979 or 78. Brian was it 78 or 79 right I think it. was 79 because you know and then they're. like anyway we went to we were staying. in this condo and went to this gay club.

and we just got so drunk we just. announced I just stood up and announced. RG at the. condo so they we all right just 80 guys. in the condo The Comedy Store condo yeah. it was crazy we did an 80 man train. right Choo Cho choo choo right and then. right right right right and then we. would just sometimes we have to un you.

know unload the steam take out the steam. take out Ste un take the steam out right. all over the apparently there was a. come like it was just like. rainfall mean like it was a storm just. you those popcorn ceiling yeah you. needed an umbrella yeah and just walk. through right rain rain and so once they. told me that story and ask anybody else. I've never stayed in that condo again. Hotel I always asked for a [ __ ] hotel. that place is could sleep not I have.

nothing against other people's come sure. you do just I don't want it in my mouth. or my skin or anywhere near me yeah yeah. yeah I don't want it anywhere near no. but if there was like let's say you're. standing there and you see a puddle of. [ __ ] right here you'll be okay with it I. would not if it went like that that. would yeah that would be immediately go. Andress get in here yeah yeah yeah who. who did this and Pete you know Pete. would go it was me that well how could. how could that's what's so cool about a. gay community that's totally kosher you. can walk into a club yeah and you can do.

that today they could be like orgy back. at our place people would go you can't. be at a bar and be like orgie back at. our place you'd be in prison You' be in. prison they immediately the cops are. like get out of here you [ __ ] I mean. I mean there is a thing where I've. thought about I wish I was gay mhm. because it just be so especially being. little and Asian you would get tossed. right around I would just be they would. call me the hole the hole the the hole's. here upstairs and I'm just going to come. in my [ __ ] so big I just walk in like.

this and come on the hole right they. when I show up they go the big Angry top. is here yeah yeah yeah well I think that. you would have gained weight would the. bear be red bear is here big red bear is. here big red. guy yo I would gain like 150 lbs but but. but by be we would [ __ ] so much so much. much so much easier I mean come on we'd. go I would go troll down Santa I've said. this before on here when Justin marale. used to take us out to those those clubs.

yeah oh my God I could lay I could get. laid by so many of those dudes I I felt. so confident it was great guys would. come up and they'd find out that I was. straight and they'd be like [ __ ] out of. here yeah but it was hot I was like in. the 80s I would have got the thing yeah. you would have gotten HIV no that's not. what I'm saying yeah you would have. gotten HIV for sure because you would. have just been the hole you would just. laid there people would have just come. run trains on you yeah and they' let you. up sometimes like I wouldn't even care. I'd be like sleeping yeah literally I'd. be sleeping and people would just be. just unloading on my back right on my.

[ __ ] right and I would just wake up. every I go hey Charlie go back to sleep. Dad yeah you I saw a. dude I'll just say this I saw Dad fan. once on um in New York he was doing um. what's his name show um he was on Comedy. Central it's what's that guy's name um. um the older guy he's kind of like Jimmy. Schubert but New York Colin Quinn so.

Colin Quinn had that show on Comedy. Central one of the greatest shows of all. time yeah so Dad fam was on it right. right when he won Last Comic Standing. and it was Voss Patrice O'Neal oh my God. and they ripped him apart it's a firing. squad yeah they ripped him apart to the. point where I felt bad for him right for. that and Patrice kept making Asian jokes. I'm sure right so bring up that clip if. you can find it when I saw that I went. that's not going to be me right yeah I. I'm going to fight them back and I'm. going to survive and I'm going to win.

right so that's why I have the style. that I do is because I just don't want. to be a victim dude tough crowd with. Colin Quinn with that fan yeah that fan. it's brutal dude if you see it they. light him on fire it's well Patrice was. so good at bral dude I don't I can see. it even it's so sad D D D D that fan D-. a t p h an that fan. oh boy uh yeah that's it right there the. first one it's got to be it tough crop. Patrice O'Neal D fan Rich Voss yeah how.

long is it 16 but we'll scroll through. and they'll edit it let's see some of it. folks I think he's just smoed by trying. to move a war around he's like okay. we're just going to move it over to Iraq. now I mean that doesn't do anything I. mean it's like in Vietnam it's like what. if they go like okay the war is getting. too crazy here we're going to move it. over to Cambodia yeah now that work out. well what what would uh what would your. mother say about. this look at his face did you just do. your hack Korean Mama as Osama B not.

Korean is Vietnamese no say last Comic. standard shut up Dad he was doing wait. I'll explain you were doing Paul pot. moving the wall right pot your mama from. last Comic standard can he do the rest. of the show hiding behind a tree. please that's racist in the. tunnel now dad fan what who was. complaining about this was it Asians or. other people you think idea people the. people that paid them. oh. yeah come on he knew he needed one go.

ahead need one here's the deal I I spent. an hour and a half afterward signing. autographs and 90% Asian students were. were were in line so don't you think EIC. if an accent is isn't comedy about. heightening or whatever they call or. accents or differences too you know yeah. I mean it's it's the culture that I grew. up in my family has accents you know I. mean if black Comics make fun of you. know their own culture or race they. don't make fun of our culture but. okay show or if you see like Rich B you. do some Jewish jokes right I do maybe.

one I I usually talk about my life uh. you know I talk about my Vietnamese. mother a. lot but you know the thing is if if. Asians do it then all of a sudden it's. like oh okay this guy he crazy you know. like I we're just this is what we do you. know what I mean we're basing it on the. yeah I mean the stereotypes are part of. thehead I'm just saying I read that. article that complained about him the. thing that pissed me off is they. referred to him in an article as a comic. and I was really. upset you know now all I'm saying is.

that it's 514 and that fan got one more. minute left on his Fame so I think that. he. should what don't we just have like. Vietnamese coaches that's right in the. middle you. get Patrice was ruthless though yeah but. I'm just saying that when I. did open Anthony with Patrice they. couldn't do that with me cuz you were. because I just became. Wilder yeah I I when I saw that I was. like I'm never going to be.

him just taking it on no yeah [ __ ] you. got to fight back [ __ ] you yeah you. gotta fight back you gotta fight back. Dad yeah you know what I mean it's so. sad but I. mean you he knows better that's the. Lions Den that show was so hard to I. just wouldn't do it no you shouldn't do. it unless like if you don't come in with. [ __ ] like you got Deadpool you got. deadpol [ __ ] be like I'm here and cut. them all up and then what happens is. when you start making fun of them and. combating them they just stop doing it.

well or it becomes part of the rhetoric. of like that we all are [ __ ] on each. other what you and I do on our show we. make fun of each other that's because we. love each other but that disarms all the. chaos you just [ __ ] on each other yeah. but if you're not willing to have the. get [ __ ] on stuff then it's you're in. trouble yeah and I just think that you. know instead of focusing on this is a. message to Asian performers I guess is. that I don't focus more on that being.

rep representing my my ethnicity I I. focus on being better than all the other. people right right I don't when I I'm at. the store people. go I've heard people go well you're on. the lineup because you're the Asian guy. no I I believe I'm on the lineup oh is. you're good no it's not that I'm good. it's just that nobody you can't say like. if you know Rogan goes up or anybody. else goes up up right that I didn't do. as good you know what I mean right and I.

don't want to be up there just because. of my color of my skin well you're not I. know I know that right I feel that right. you're saying that exists and yeah so. I'm just saying that like you know um to. Asian performers or whoever you're. saying and you know if Tiger Bell is not. considered an Asian show I don't give a. [ __ ] is it is no it's not apparently to. them who was that a credible Source I. mean it was only the New York Times what. do they. know you know I mean but it's how about. this about this yeah do top Asian. podcasts top Asian podcast what is this. what are we doing here what are you.

trying to do I want to I want to try to. see Tiger Bell on there we're not on. there see scroll through all the way. keep going down to the right up at the. top that bar up there Pico all the way. to the right all the way now click on. that Arrow no show with George can be. consideration right George he's married. to an Asian woman he's got a half asian. baby. nothing but how about this oh I've got. the fix top Asian comedy podcast there. it is top Asian comedy podcast now it'll. be there no doubt same. list same list mhm keep going there's gu.

is there any way to do this though it's. not there see look at it wow so let me. ask you something let me ask you. something does tiger Billy do better. than these yeah yeah for sure all of. them right yeah for sure then why aren't. we on it because this is being we're not. Asian no this is being promoted by. something that's being promoted by a. machine if we go top comedy podcast. would we be on it maybe I don't know but. that's top comedy podcast it depends on.

who promotes this thing yeah top comedy. podcast there you go where are we there. no we're not on there yet no no nope no. nope doughbys is on there no n NOP Noe. nope nope we're not on there that's it. now do you feel bad no because that's a. machine no that's a machine I don't know. who I don't know how that gets [ __ ]. arranged by what is this this is made by. what what's the article who's by good. house keeping this is by [ __ ] Good. Housekeeping they arranged that what. does that even [ __ ] mean yeah Good.

Housekeeping yeah what the [ __ ] is that. no I don't care we dude I know how much. our fans love and appreciate us and I. love and appreciate them that's what I. care I don't care about [ __ ] an. article in Good Housekeeping doesn't. mean anything to me aren't aren't you. happy about the fans Rudy now you're. getting boyfriends from it let's check. in with Diego Andre say it let's check. in with dieo come on please say he. looked or texted or said something back. come on. come on come on nothing wow all right so. how about this Bobby to end this Diego.

thing I want her now to write you can. write it not Bobby be write no response. qu did he respond to you no okay so I. want I want her to write no response. question mark [ __ ]. you how cool would that be no response. [ __ ] you no because she he texted her. and she didn't respond for 6 hours 6. hours yeah give him six hours at the. sixth hour this evening right no. response [ __ ] you poor. Diego we love you Diego wherever you are.

you beautiful um what was the name of. that racist snack Kito. Kito all right Bob thank you for being a. bad. friend $20 off your Buffy comforter when. you visit Buffy friends that's $20 off. your Buffy comforter when you visit bad. friends that's $20 off your Buffy. comforter when you visit buffy. and. enter the code buffyo.

[Music].