Fancy B. vs George | Ep 77 | Bad Friends

you two are bad friends who are these. two idiots. why dude i'm an asian dude you two. are disgusting well you two or something. we're bad. friends speaking of money who just got. back from new york. wait you didn't you fancy yeah i did. yeah. new york the city of dreams. but it's like a big peach you fly in. statue of liberty you stay in your hotel. room. do you get five o'clock in the morning.

call time and you go. you work 16 hours then you fly get back. kind of flight and fly back back and fly. i'm working on impressions you want to. hear one yeah i want to hear no way i. guess what it is okay let's hear i'ma. close my eyes i'm not gonna look at you. there's no such thing not yet. [Laughter]. there's no such thing as political. murder. political bombings and political. violence. there's only criminal murder.

criminal bombings and criminal violence. gavin newsom current governor of. california. no no who is this a woman caitlyn jenner. potential governor of california it's. political. criminal bombings there's this thing. it's a current pr someone no dead oh. he's dead oh dude. she's dead do it again there's nothing.

there's no such thing there's no such. thing as. political murder political. bombings of political violence oh. hillary clinton. no that's not hillary clinton dead i. said. hillary's alive she's alive yeah yeah. she just looks dead. yeah she looks dead yeah yeah margaret. thatcher oh is that margaret thatcher. yeah that's in a british accent. that's how she talks though no she was. british yeah but she talks like that. let me hear it one more time what's so.

funny. yeah guys i don't think that's funny at. all that's me you know how i know this. huh. because i watched four seasons in a week. of the crown the crown people yeah i. know i could tell that you watched the. crown that's where that goes why. because that's where that came from that. well you saw that show yeah i watched. the crown yeah i love the crown. not only do i love the crown i want to. be the crown you want to be in the crown. no i want to be a. i want to be a prince oh you don't mean. in the show you mean in real life. like in real life i want to be a prince. and live in a royal family in the whole. thing.

but i would do my own things can you. imagine if a princess kissed the frog. and then he turned into you. and how upset you'd be and she'd. probably kiss me to get back to the frog. holy [ __ ] she's like no no no no no no. no no no no yeah. no because i would love to um you could. be a pr could he be a prince. oh that face yeah i don't like that face. i don't know why i don't think you could. be a. he couldn't be a prince like right now. yeah right now right now. he's got prince hair he definitely has. princess prince hair i would like i. would probably be born the last.

you were the last prince no no like if i. if my dad mom was the queen. i would be the last kid so it's like. there would be five kids ahead of me. so i would never be you'll never be king. yeah so then i would just be like. [ __ ] around. that's a really good idea by the way. that's a great idea for a movie as the. last i would spray paint. like little symbols on like vases and. stuff around the castle. well like swastikas what kind of city no. no i would probably do like a chinese. face. oh oh oh on the cat oh right right two. line chinese eyes thing and a big smile.

what dynasty would you be a part of. royal england. but yeah but yeah what do you mean but. you're not that's what's great about it. well because it's like oh something. could be a mystery oh right someone. slept around with somebody. somebody did something someone from the. meeting somebody did something and. and now it's like i'm in all the. tabloids because they maybe in the. beginning they think. asian prince born to the royal family no. he's white but he looks asian no you're. they're unmistakably asian. no no i look white no i know i look.

asian but i'm white. sir sir you do not look white no but can. i just say this yeah. what if like queen elizabeth had me. right. and she had me at like 50. they would be. like she cheated. on an asian guy right right before i was. born right. she she's old and she tumbled down the. stairs. and just rolled on her belly a bunch of. times i just listened right. right and then all of a sudden like um a. butler came didn't see the queen there. and they tripped on her an asian whoa. whoa. there's no asian involved in anything.

that's my point is that you're not here. yeah i'm just telling you why i came out. and then like she. and then all of a sudden i'm able to get. the ball um. i'm about to get bored just let me. finish all right you're about to get a. morning and then go we gotta do it now. let's do it outside. they take the queen out they're in. buckingham palace. in a courtyard right go to the fountain. right no yeah the fountain the baby. comes out and. like the sun is so bright you know i go. ahead. ah right and it just stuck like this it. singes your face yeah like this.

and then i'm like the one that looks. asian. but i'm really a windsor you're really. truly a winner i'm truly 100 of windsor. do you buy that. why not he's asian. yeah you're asian yeah you're so asian. look that's what they could tell the. tablets but the truth would be the queen. slept around with somebody but we would. never reveal the truth how funny would. it be though. yeah if they're like we don't really. know who we'll never be able to know who. and that's all we're saying and then the. press walks away and cut to one of the. vendors selling. like little british flags and it's just.

one asian one so little old. asian man that's come funny or. i'm like you know how like you go to. different rooms and there's different. photos. and i'm wandering around and i'm just. you know maybe i'm 16. yeah i see it and my older my older. brother my older brother charles is. already. yeah i mean no better name no charles is. a guy already. no but prince charles i'm a part of the. windsor family so prince charles is my. older brother you're the next generation. you're like the new generation. oh you're saying that i'm william's baby. correct.

you're william and kate's baby oh i'm. william and kate's baby yes you got to. be the new ninja generation. right yeah so william and kate had a. baby right it looks asian they blamed it. on the sun. and i'm walking around right the castle. just moping mad. everyone calls me asian but i'm not i'm. a windsor. right and i go to this one room there's. a bunch of photographs yeah right. yeah and i see my mom kate right yeah. beautiful. beautiful and she's like in a pool. splashing around. with ken chung. [Laughter]. right and then everything just kind of.

right and i'm like. the guy from the hangovers baby that's. your dad yeah that's your papa. right and now you're on a journey to go. find your dad right. i don't want it to be ken jong and the. movie can be played by ken jong but the. real guy is. um all right fine it's a pool party. hirohitos. right emperor hirohito's grandson. grandson right right. great great great grandpa yeah toshi. toshi and he's jacked. together toshi yurihito he's jacked out. of his mind. like right right so then this is what. happens and you have to go on a journey.

to find tokyo. this is what happens there's a scene in. the movie yeah where. i go to the bathroom and i take off my. shirt. and i do a thing what like cause he's. jack right he's so strong so i go. and i do a thing and i do this and a. couple becomes 16. a couple little muscles right and i go. that's my dad that's your destiny. because i could see a little pet your. little ass when you squeeze really hard. and then abs come out yeah. like right and i'm like this and i'm.

like that's my dad. just a little fart comes out as the abs. are forming why why because that's the. comedy part of you. you're gonna you're gonna flex and be. like that's my destiny and the scene. goes. [Music]. right and the muscles go down they go. down right as you focus just fart. bubbles fart air in my skin that makes. it it's not even. it's not even muscle. right right and we cut to you on the. airplane going to go see your. father yeah but do i is there a scene.

where i go to kate. no you forget about them she's a. princess so. i go to she's the yeah she's not queen. yet because it goes charles is going to. be king and then he has to die. they're both dead at this point they're. totally both dead oh so william is king. 100. she's princess she's not a queen yeah. i don't know how that works it works. that way i think like queen elizabeth's. um husband is prince philip right. okay wait wait wait he just died who. gets to be remember that guy. yeah and they drove him home yeah yeah.

they're going to be laughing 20 years. ago he was dead. look at this left the hospital feeling. good. that's that one the middle photo that. the one in the car where is oh we'll go. to the far right. yeah they won the car look at this one. feeling good. feeling dude he's not dead there he's. dead they're dead there. he's got to be dead there because his. eyes are stitched open. they put in stuff to be like hold it. yeah hold it hold it. yeah do you think he looks in the mirror. like just uh. you know what they gave him they just. put smelling salts like we did under his.

nose. just for the picture my god he lived. forever 99 he was. 99 99 years old he was there's the. there's another one where they try to. really doctor him up there do you see. him in the suit with a blue tie. i mean oh my god it's like dude zoom in. please. yeah pick that up yeah you know what. they did. they photoshopped his eyes and just put. it on the emperor's eyes in star wars. that's what it looks like cgi just use. prince philip's eyes.

apparently if you're a part of a royal. family. yeah that has hundreds of years of. incestual mating. you live long because they're all they. all live a long time. yeah how come when there's how come when. there's a sexual mating like in the. south. it's really sad and some some reason in. england it's. because i don't. the ones in the south you know me just. [ __ ] their brother or their mom or. whatever. never mind it's always brother i think. it's brothers or sisters or it's never.

mom. i don't think it's ever the mom i don't. think the mom has ever probably. sometimes no. if anything it's the dad yuck i don't. want to talk about yeah it's gross. anyway well that's what the royal family. so this is what so you came from. that's my grandmother that's my great. grandfather great. great grandfather right wait that's my. great. yeah great great not my grandfather my. great grandfather your great grandpa. yeah yeah so look at that rudy that's. your great grandpa there's a scene. maybe we shoot this in oh this is he's. already dead but maybe in the movie. he's come back to life no a ghost oh and.

he haunts you. yeah no he and every time i see him he. wants to say something like. encouraging but whenever i see him. because he looks like that i. i just run yeah you freak out right so. he's got all the advice and you just. but so i go to japan and i find toshi. yeah yeah. but guess what what what happens toshi. doesn't want anything to do with you. so you say well i'll fight you to the. death drop.

what you'll fight him to the death he. goes because he says he's like you're. not. my son and you're like i am your son. yeah. look and you show him the muscle thing. right. he sees it yeah and then he's like yo no. to my son. no he could go back on he could go like. this you can go you're not after i go. right yeah he can go you're not my son. see and he doesn't do an accent when. you're gonna if you're gonna do the job. you're not my son you're not on my side. no not on my son yeah. see and he does it and what if he did.

a fork comes out for him that's the. connection i told you dad [ __ ] i told. you they're not muscles they're fart. bubbles. those are front bubbles on your skin you. [ __ ] bastard this feels like a. a short story from like roll doll or. something like that. out of where the sidewalk ends anyway i. love the crown it's good. it's a pretty good show it is a good. show didn't like the fourth season the. diana stuff uh it's sad. because it's depressing as [ __ ] cause. they put up because they had her killed. it's nuts dude i've been so i didn't. have them come on 100. she was killed she was not killed do you. know anything about princess diana.

yeah i saw the documentary do you think. that they had her killed or do you think. it was a total accident. i think they have them kidding they had. their kids the family no they didn't she. was a commoner they didn't like that for. me. they didn't like her dude they didn't. know you haven't you think that like. henry's wife. meghan markle's gonna get killed no it's. because it's too late. also meghan markle also meghan markle's. not gonna become. she's not anything all right because. she's the one she's the princess of. sussex. that's nothing dude i'm the princess of. sussex i don't know i'm the prince of. essex.

i'm the princess of muppets of muppets. and she's a buffoons yeah yeah no see. that if they're going to kill anybody. they would've killed kate but they love. kate because she comes from she comes. from high status. see what i'm saying well no they all was. checked off on her. and they all encouraged it i know but my. point is um. uh uh uh charles uh cheated on. what's her name with you know the girl. he was with who was he just went. camilla yeah with diana so the family. hated her because they were still like. going back and forth yeah in the middle.

of all this [ __ ] yeah that's why they. had her killed dude they had her clip. they didn't have a kill. did they have her clip rudy you voice. your opinion on it she saw the. documentary. yeah they had the clip they had her. clipper they have underwear. they have a clip they have a clip where. they have her they had her clip let's. roll the clip of the murderer. let me what did you say can i just see. what you did the other day. just i always have to do um a little. alert she's more she's. she's here less and less and less. mentally i know. but yesterday was the worst what. happened so they they came home from the. beach.

beach malibu uh santa monica. yeah man when they're going up the. stairs i go here's my chance. so i um pretend i was dead. i go here's my chat so i laid on the. ground right. why would you do that dead you just laid. down i just laid down like i was dead. did you put any blood out or anything no. no but i just i made my body like as if. i was like. fell in a weird way right down the. stairs no. just up in the living room well they. wouldn't buy that how would you.

would you had a heart attack maybe i get. it maybe you could so i'm laying there. and i can see her she can see me from. the kitchen who can. her oh right she's putting stuff away or. whatever right. she looks at me she still does her thing. then she eventually goes cheeto bobby. like no no are you okay nothing. is everything going is everything all. right nothing nothing. absolutely nothing wow so let me ask you. something. you didn't believe it at all i didn't.

what did you think he was doing sleeping. i saw his eyes open and closed no you're. not good at playing dead. bro you're not good at playing dead. andrew do it right now do die right now. that's what she saw that didn't look. good. no that's not what your face does. yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah that's more. like it like you're sucking a little. penis or something no. yeah yeah trembling lip you're dead i'll. go i'll go dead for you ready. this is me dead no no.

no that's motionless you're falling. asleep in a movie theater this is me. falling this is me. that is me no you're drunk you're drunk. i'm drunk. yeah this this is uh this is me dad. yup you're dead so anyway she didn't see. my eyes and my point is is that she. she doesn't care she did see your eyes. didn't you why don't you care if tito. bob. um passed away i would care. oh wait a minute rudy update did what's. his name hit you back on instagram.

yeah and what did he say he thought it. was me. what he thought it was me saying it yeah. oh what bob said. yeah yeah wait what did you say again. what did what did we say bring it out. again yeah i want to see it. was he mad no did you are you guys still. chatting. um ningo adi have you been chatting with. him what's his name. diego diego diego diego you guys aren't. chatting anymore no. why not did he blow it i don't know he's. just busy. he's busy this girl you're a famous.

podcast star how is he busier than you. bro what does he do i i have a feeling. yeah she's gonna be living at her house. for the rest of her life yeah forever i. feel like she's going to be just. that girl i'm okay with that. what are you getting angry for read what. he says. you have every opportunity to meet guys. but anyway go ahead reread what. reread what y what bobby said that we. that he thought. you said okay okay bobby said. over a thousand sons oh yeah how long is.

it good. i like that by the way you looked hella. ripped. [Music]. you lying yeah you lying and you should. have wrote back no cap. i don't say that do you know what no cap. means wait let's see if bobby knows oh. did you know lie you didn't know it. didn't matter. i didn't know but let's move on all. right so what else what else what else. no cap dog so what did he say. he said you lying and then i said t to.

bobby and tito andrew said that. and then what and he said i'm honestly. kind of surprised it sounds. like something you'd say oh see we. formulated that's so good. and then what'd you say after that high. five and i said i would never say. anything like that. haha imagine. reading that i would never i would never. say anything like that you know how bad. he felt how many has two hours huh. that's so lame it's so long and that was. the end of this conversation.

there's more but is there any. discussions of like. coming up to la and hanging out there is. he said that if i was in. san diego then we should hang out and if. he's in la we should hang out. no [ __ ] what a stupid no he should make. the effort give. give the guy a break no i don't give a. [ __ ] get on the [ __ ] train. listen up diego get on the [ __ ]. pacific coastliner okay it's the train. that comes up here. take your ass on the train get to. downtown la get in a [ __ ] uber and. get your ass. over to their house you understand me.

pick her up in the uber. go to the movies do people go to the. movies right now they do she went to a. movie. you do quiet place too take her to the. movies go see a movie that's out. drop her back off and get back on the. [ __ ] train get the [ __ ] down to. oceanside. doordash i'll tell you what bat pal. what's up my baby. um i'm going to hawaii in a week and i. can't wait because. i only use doordash in hawaii but this. is funny because people might think. we're kidding every time we talk on the. phone he's. literally just ordered something to his. hotel room.

they literally are the fastest one in. every place that i go to the fastest one. the most. used i like the app because i think the. app is the easiest to use i don't like. some of the other apps are annoying. um so if you forgot something if you. need snacks drinks household assessments. deodorant. 30 minutes or less now pizza chinese. whatever you need. no matter what you're craving uh. doordash can give it to you they connect. you with the restaurants you love right. now right to your door. you can get grocery essentials with. doordash get drinks snacks and. everything else that we said. over 300 000 partners what what do you.

get. foot fungus powder cream foot cream yeah. you do get like whipped cream. so 300 000 partners in us puerto rico. canada australia you support your. neighborhood go to. from your favorite uh local restaurants. like popeyes chipotle cheesecake factory. and many many more. for a limited time our listeners can get. 25 off and zero delivery. fees on their first order of 15. or more when you download the doordash. app and enter code badfriends2021. that's 25. off up to a 10 value and zero delivery. fees on your first order when you. download the doordash app in the app.

store and enter the code bad friends. 2021. don't forget that's code bad friends. 2021 for a 25 off your first order with. doordash. subject to change terms apply top start. up start. hey if you're carrying a credit card. balance every month. feels like you're in a never-ending. cycle of debt it stinks me and bobby. have been in debt before oh my god. so much what was the most debt you were. ever in 250. dollars are you joking that's insane. what did you do i didn't pay. taxes anyway sixteen thousand dollars. you dread looking at your credit card. statements. and i wish i had uh upstart back then.

when i had yeah. right um you're not alone debt can feel. crippling but upstart can help you. on your path to financial freedom and. that's it's such a great kind of freedom. yeah it is great. americans experience financial hardship. last year because you know what. and i'm sorry it's going to help you. regain your footing man yeah that's. exactly what i was referencing. whether it's paying off credit cards. consolidating high interest debt funding. personal expenses over half a million. people have used upstart to get one. fixed monthly payment consolidate into. one. upsert knows you're more than just your.

credit score and is expanding access. to affordable credit yep unlike other. lenders upstarts considers your income. and current employment. to find you a smarter rate for your loan. with five minute online rate check you. can see your rate up front. for loans between one thousand and fifty. thousand dollars my god that would have. been great for me i was 16 000 in debt. you can receive funds as fast as one. business day. after accepting your loan find out how. upstart can lower your monthly payments. today when you go to upstart.com. bad friends that's upstart.com bad. friends don't forget you. use our url to let them know we sent you. loan amounts will be determined based on.

your credit income and certain other. information provided by your loan. application go to upstart.com. bad friends you hear about that tick. tock girl that got shot in the movie. theater in orange county. yeah two of them it was a man in a way. it was a bu imagine like being in a. quarantine and for a year. you finally go to a [ __ ] movie and. you get shot you get shot oh it's the. worst story. let's move on but also no wait but let. me say this what. but they were this is why i don't like. this stuff and i'm being genuine they. went to see the purge right. it was the purge they deserve to get. shot is that what you're saying.

i mean you said that that movie is all. about. killing off people who cares dude no but. i'm saying that. it gives the impetus to psychopaths to. do something oh really so if i'm. watching like. you got mail and then there's going to. be a bunch of like white karen's in. there. i mean probably that's what goes to see. you got mail no just a bunch of people. watch different two dead and random. shooting at purge movie yeah i was at. the pur it was. going to see the purge but the purges. whole film basis is about clearing out. society watching a lot.

whatever movie it is i'm saying usually. these happen in violent violence you're. right because the one. there was one in batman batman was. batman yeah man they're usually. violent films you're right unfortunately. so don't watch the violent films. i i don't let me tell you something in. the movie that shouldn't be the world we. live in but. disgustingly i would stay at home to. watch these films. matt damon was just complaining about. how there is no such thing as. kid the next generation is not going to. know about movie theaters and it's like. yeah no [ __ ] a home entertainment.

systems now are so nice. why the [ __ ] would i pay 25 for a movie. ticket right well i'm not leaving my. house like she saw the quiet place too. at the movie theater i just saw it on my. [ __ ] paramount. plus i watched it on my on my ipad yeah. yeah yeah how much was the tickets now. how much are they now. uh california is different by the way. than other eleven dollars. that's it yeah cause because you're like. under 12 or something no. she can get away with that she's like. can i just ask you this though this is a. real question. but it's like it's like there was in the. 90s when.

television you know was showing a lot of. stand-up comedy yeah that's when comedy. clubs started dying in the early 90s. do you think though that and now people. are starting to come out to live shows. because there's a difference between. watching a live show. and stand up is a pro live performance. but live performances will never go away. but you're watching a film is going to. be tough but isn't there something to. watching a scary movie with a big crowd. not not when there's the fear of getting. shot in the head that's true. because stand up live performance will. always be good theater will always be. good broadway will always be there.

live music will i mean did you see. lollapalooza did you see uh. covid ii look at look at pictures of. lollapalooza in chicago. you know like one of the biggest musical. festivals they just did the one bro. shoulder to shoulder neck to neck look. at the images they just had. dude it's no look at this nets. that was recently this just happened no. over this past weekend no. yes dude it just happened this is rona. dude ronaldo look at that dude.

right there my god oh my god that is. ventilator city. right there yeah yeah yeah no they're. back we're back. shows are back and stuff i'm saying this. will never die live show live music will. never die. yeah you'll never take that away but who. played at. you know who did um at la la palooza i. don't know look up the line up there. click on one of the posters right there. pete you have 20 21 up. foo fighters post malone tyler the. creator miley cyrus the baby. marshmallow millennium journey megan the. stallion. roddy rich k tradonna okay.

biscuit modest mouse jack harlow polo g. trippy red suicide boys alice in. wonderland. slander steve brittany howard and band. of horses. jimmy world dermot kennedy young the. giant. lav javon angels and airwaves i am dior. saint john all time low mount joy mark. ruby. mark rubio who's a good friend keep. going you're going to do the whole thing. i have ocd whitney dominic.

touch of me you ass freddy gibbs the. front robot. the front bottoms did they steal that. from us the front bottoms. the front bottoms big wild kim petross. yellow claws subtronics oliver heaton's. cash oliver tree omar apollo ash lp. arizona surprises zade crowd. earth gang rico nazi jamaica jacob banks. white reaper peekaboo olive o'brien. overpacked princess nokia okay princess. nokia cautiously slay. day glow trevor dan you flow me bop beep. bop breath. okay but can i just ask you and last on. the list jake.

dooby okay how bad does jake do be. feeling. sucks like he gets called you're gonna. be in lollapalooza really. yeah yeah he looks at the poster and. he's like. out of 10 000 names let's see him yeah. yeah there he is. right there yeah click on him there's. jake dooby yeah jake doobie. jj right so then he shows up at lala. they don't even give him a trailer. right so he's just kind of standing. right next to the bathroom just in an. empty porta potty yeah and he's leaning. and people are like who's that guy. that's doobie oh is that jake doobie is. that you what is he doing here i'm set. to go on in 20.

no wait look at the real dude if he's. the last on the thing. he's at three in the morning well he's. in one of the far tents oh yeah. yeah is that where the bathroom is but. that's just where jake doobie is doing. his show. this is so mean poor jake find out he's. a huge fan of ours. oh my gosh wait let me find out find out. the real jake doobie because that. obviously is not him. clearly just take jubi musician yeah. music. oh i guess that's jake duby right there. yeah. i mean it's when you okay i'm disgusting.

that's really him when you google's an. artist names and there's only three. photos of him. it can't be good no i do but that i feel. bad. but like what is that woman who's that. woman down there that's jake dubois. that's his sister yeah that's jacinda. dewby here's jake duby that actually his. and here's his. whoa okay this this makes no sense oh. yeah his one song on spotify. has 2 300 plays that's it. 2 300. that that's that's and the alive.

has. what daddy why you die has more way more. i know we're gonna have to blank this. out but let's hear. for a second of it this is jake dubia. we'll just play some other music over to. the listeners. [Music]. we'll play daddy while you die over this. daddy i love you. daddy why you die i would run to this. this is the music i run to when i go.

running oh really so you're oh i thought. you were. this is what i thought. [Music]. shout out to jake doobie i like your. music jake tooby this is what i thought. you meant. i see you in a coffee shop i thought you. meant i'd run to him. that you're watching the foo fighters. but then you hear that song. and you ran to the tent to go see him. jake dube is playing everybody i'm. coming jake jubie. i see you in a coffee shop yeah he owes. only one song. so you show up it's like the last and.

then and then. wait and then it's i see you in the. coffee shop. thank you as i get to the top. do it again can you do it again do me. one more time. i feel so bad for chick dude i like jake. jake download his [ __ ] song you know. what let's promo jake dude. go download jake dooby's song i see you. in the coffee shop is that the name of. the song. no the song is called run into you yeah. yeah oh how weird i said i would run to.

it run into you. let me see that a lot of palooza on the. list again if you show it i'm going to. read it off. no don't do it laundry room zoom in at. the down at. jake doobie the aqua dolls i know who. they are. oh tyler and post malone foo fighter foo. fighter's still killing it. dude see how dominatory he is the foo. fighters are. still relevant it's been 30 years. incredible well nothing yeah maybe 30. years now right. incredible wow yeah some of their albums. are just like just. classics i mean classics dave girl might.

be the most talented musician of our. generation that i've been a lot since i. was. alive who's lasted longer than that it's. also funny it's like he's the drummer of. you know who dave grohl is no take it oh. don't tell her. dave grohl is in the band foo fighters. show a picture of dave grohl. but he's a multi-talented musician i. want you to guess what band he was in. first because he was in a. he was in the most popular i know what. nirvana. yeah how'd you know how did you know did. you see it he read it you read it she. wrote it on the phone.

because i listened to nirvana and i saw. his face. really what song do you like from. nirvana lithium. oh lithium is a good song yeah hop would. you like smells like teen spirit. you do down and out. sing it down and out sing it right now. we know the chorus. when the lights up. [Applause]. [Music].

we do gotta help you with your english. accent. try it try to try really with it that's. how she sounds marvelous. dude she sounds like a british woman. that's not. there's no such thing as political. murder. political violence political violence. yeah that's pretty good a little violent. violence. yeah try south africa do one first i'll.

do it. south africa it sounds like this south. africa. is it significant. [Laughter]. now do hawaii you know hawaiian dude. you're there all the time. i always go to jamaica yeah yeah there.

is no such thing as political violence. bro. should we do our chinese portion now. we've been learning mandarin we've been. learning mandarin. we want to apologize have one lesson. i'm doing my best john cena we're. apologizing to china right now because. they're mad at us do you know this. chinese government wrote us a letter to. cease and desist this show. why fancy what did they say the chinese. government wrote us they didn't want us. to do the show anymore. what did they say fans bad friends yeah. yeah. they say bob is very disrespectful to.

her towards the chinese people. what what did i say i don't know they. have apparently they've got. ching chong stuff that's what they said. you said that one time and then i think. they got really mad about it i never. said chinchon. we've got a couple really you know how. many times you've done an asian accent. on the show out of respect for you no. not respect. you go oh you [ __ ] you man i've never. done that yeah you just. oh you've done that i've never what are. you actually seeing that seems racist. what you're doing that seems racist. that's what you do no i do that. when i'm impersonating you yeah and then. you had that one guy call me.

right what guy i can't tell you the. guy's name but there was a guy that you. made do an asian accent on the phone he. was asian. he wasn't yes he was i found out who it. was and it was a [ __ ]. hispanic guy it is a hispanic exactly so. you do. but if you say the letters towards you. but china doesn't care about me because. i'm not saying. what did the ching chong say. was the email going ching chong ching. chong ching or is it in english it was. in english. in english uh would it could read it to. me that it's broken english so i read it.

read it fans i don't have it here i have. to paraphrase. okay paraphrase okay but friends you. guys are gonna be uh. prohibited in in china we're not gonna. we're not gonna be able to stream in. china we'll be fans here. youtube we're gonna have a few a few. people there yeah. we do we do we definitely get china. streams dude yeah i'm gonna look it up. mostly because. of bobby lee's uh attitude towards. asians in general. that's bad to hear bob is that how you. want us to live our.

rest of our careers stop stop okay i'm. looking right now so here we go here you. go. top listening countries to bad friends. us. canada australia united kingdom. sweden new zealand ireland norway. germany netherlands denmark. finland puerto rico iceland south africa. mexico japan. france austria belgium philippines. philippines. spain singapore spain singapore. switzerland south korea india saudi. arabia italy portugal poland hong kong. iran brazil. united arab emirates israel malaysia.

romania czech republic taiwan thailand. guam estonia hungary vietnam indonesia. kuwait. chile greece russia slovenia latvia. turkey serbia egypt argentina costa rica. qatar croatia morocco iraq slovakia. ukraine colombia bulgaria lithuania. kenya peru panama jamaica bahrain. guatemala. dominican republic shawn is not on here. yeah because you guys were ben we got. banned because of you. so thanks a lot now china can't stream. us can i regroup you guys i can save it. well then try to apologize and regroup. okay.

dear china is that what you say i think. dear china yeah yeah i think you say. dear china am i chinese i'm not chinese. so i can't say chinese people. i'm going to say dear asians yeah dear. asians who happen to be in china. dear asians who currently live in china. yeah which is. okay dear asians. who happen to be chinese who live in. china perfect yeah i mean yeah. i love you right. i love your sweet and pungent shrimp. love sweetened chocolate.

yeah i love your sweetened punch and. shrimp. i love the new york nukes new york style. egg worlds. new york style eggos are so good are the. best and i know that. i know that it's not you chinese people. that created the new york chinese. that's american that's american chinese. but still you. are the foundation in which that new. york. came up from it it has to be very. influential it's like um. the beatles like was influenced by some. jazz i guess or blues and stuff.

and so he the beatles played played. homage to. chinese people are the beatles of. egg rolls of egg rolls yeah right so. congratulations thank you so much for. challenge fat. chewing on fat shout out crouching tiger. so good yeah and uh whatever. everything everything that he's done. everything right he's done he's. phenomenal thank you so much for jet li. love thank you so much for jackie chan. love. thank you so much for um the martial. arts.

yep dude it's like without the martial. arts taekwondo yeah. it goes like i'll tell you in terms of. like self-defense. it goes guns guns are the best. best right it goes semi-automatic guns. rockets warheads yeah in terms of that. right right and then it goes to like. knives schwartz knives swords knives. those types of things. right cutlery yeah and then yeah it's. third third is. yeah yeah so if you're in a chinese.

village. somewhere my head fell off again i don't. know this is the fifth time you've done. it exactly. um here's another thing is i'm sorry. there's things i'm sorry about. what are you sorry for i'm sorry about. the earthquakes. well you didn't cause them i know but. there's a lot of people. damage from it you know there is oh. congratulations on the wall. in fact it's great in fact i want to. invite you to make our wall. because you guys made that wall. thousands of years ago we can't even.

we can get holes in there people are. climbing over it. why don't you guys make our wall donald. trump we'll get the chinese to build it. they built a wall a great wall yeah it. was long here's another thing about this. dear chinese people. china you want to get milo yeah. um thank you so much for the close close. close right technology technology. um sign off to china say thank you china. [Laughter].

um i love dude here's the thing let's go. back to the asian thing. yeah so there's. this new generation of kids that are. woke. sure right so i've had like people like. ali wong come up to me. yeah and go it's so crazy the kind of. [ __ ] that you used to audition for. yeah the stuff that was available to you. and you were able like. to survive in that world like 95. of the things that i was offered is with. um asian accents or some.

demeaning role sure and i'm getting way. better [ __ ] now. of course but um so there was a time in. the world where i had to survive in show. business. by playing this little game you know of. being like. talking about where am i raised and. making fun of it and this and that. and also like trying to you know. fight against it it was a weird kind of. place that i was in. right and um so a lot of my humor. like i like people like i'm not you guys.

like guys like ronnie chang probably. don't talk about the race and this and. that. but i still make fun of it and stuff and. i think is that really china mad or no. no of course not they don't even know we. exist less than one person why did we do. that. just for a gag oh then i don't know. forget what i just said then yeah no but. what you're saying is what we've said on. the show before. look when we make any of those jokes. it's just out of love. ship station oh i love ship station you. know i use ship station in my own. private businesses. bad friends bad friends and i also have.

my belly and. um it's it's just the most reliable um. service. it is man look if you're selling your. crafts online uh. this is the only place that you should. be using right now ship station they. make it easy to manage your orders. and get products out the door so you can. get back to doing what you really love. is growing the business. it's also the number one choice of. online sellers you can import orders. from any sales channel. ship with any carrier using ship. stations deeply discounted rates. and automate just about any shipping. task it's not a mystery.

over 100 000 online sellers are choosing. choosing shipstation. no matter how you sell shopify etsy your. own website they funnel. all your orders into one simple. interface that you can manage from. anywhere even. your cell phone you'll even get access. to amazing discounts with major carriers. like. ups fedex usps easily compare. carriers and choose the best solution. every time it's incredible man ship more. and less time for a lot less money use. our offer code bad friends to get a. 60-day free trial two months for free.

no hassle stress free shipping just go. to shipstation.com click on the. microphone on the top of the page and. type in. friends that's shipstation.com offer. code bad friends. make ship happen keeps you know i have a. private friend named. somebody who andres. yeah somebody all right and this is for. him. okay so keeps right right if you have. hair loss. yeah for men we all will save you it. does man yeah. two out of three men andreas will. experience some form of hair loss.

by the time they're 35 yep more than 50. andreas don't feel bad because more than. 50 million men in the u.s suffer from. male pattern baldness and there are only. two. fda approved medications that can. prevent hair loss. keeps offers both andreas they offer a. simple stress-free way to keep your hair. convenient virtual doctor. consultations and medications delivered. straight to your door every three months. so you don't got to leave your home. look every dude has thinning hair as. they get older we all do. that's what happens low cost treatments.

start at just 10 a month and keeps. offers generic versions so it's not. super expensive just street packaging. proven results they have more five star. reviews than any of its competitors. prevention is the key keep that hair. treatments can take four to six months. to see results so act fast. if you're ready to take action and. prevent hair loss go to. keeps that's k-e-e-p-s dot com. slash bad friends to receive your first. month of treatment for free that's keeps. keps dot com slash bad friends to get. your first month free. k-e-e-p-s dot com slash bad friends.

congratulate her or no what did she do. they won their first gold. the philippines won their first gold. what was it in weight lifting the girl. uh medals believe accused of being part. of plot against duarte. duterte what is duterte the president. oh that's the president the philippines. he's he is they were trying to get. bro bro duterte. is one of the worst leaders on planet. earth. the killer's own people he makes lists.

right and he he does it let's get on his. list you and i no no i don't want to be. honest because i want to go there. i don't you know so what let's get on. let's let's fight him you think we can't. fight duterte. we'll fight him and win no no no no no. no no no no no no no no no no no no no. no no no no no no no no no no no no no. no no no we're not how big is the. philippine army really dude. it's 17 dudes you don't want to [ __ ]. with duterte why don't you want to [ __ ]. with it. why not why can't i because he they do. [ __ ] like. you know i mean if like torture stuff no. but like if like for instance like a. social media. girl in the philippines right says.

something bad about him and then she. goes. like scuba diving they'll just find her. dead body floating in the ocean oh yeah. cool mafia [ __ ]. yeah that's cool we do that in america. we're just better at hiding i know. we don't hide it but like so she won the. first gold for weightlifting for weight. lifting do you know what she lifted. i don't know this is the pride of your. [ __ ] country and you don't know. anything about this. i know her first name what is it hi. dylan. hi dylan and what's her last name i. forgot.

good that's good the first gold medal in. the history of your country. but when she wins you cannot you you. have to shed a tear. it's it's she makes she made. like joe coyne went crazy nodded joker. went oh i. couldn't nudge it all over his belly. like he went people went crazy dude. is yokoya a hero in the philippines a. lot of people like him. when she won and he she came because. i think she was outspoken uh outspoking. against. duterte right yeah and um good for her.

because they could get. no money like before no before olympians. her training. she's training in a field there's no you. know i mean there's no facility. you already have the gold forget them. gold is gold and it would be good for. you to just let bygones be bygones and. dwell solely on your victory. that's what the philippine president. said ah it's crazy right he's trying to. say like. shut your mouths back i will kill you. and they're like. they gave her like 200 000 you know that. and some guy that owns like property. goes i'll give you this apartment. that's worth 250 000. so she got a bunch.

of [ __ ]. yeah i hope so she's the only gold. matters the gold medal they should treat. her like she's the queen. yeah there's they're mostly like murals. there should be they're just making. murals about her let's see how much. weight she lifted can i find out. just look at the video oh sure. overwinning just you know. hang on did she jerk it oh she's crying. it's gold for the philippines. the unbelievable the philippines. with its first ever olympic gold medal.

yeah when she gets on. to the flips she gets handed like three. chickens that's all she gets. [Laughter]. get three chickens and a boar sound that. impressive. so what why. and it's just heavy stuff above your. head bro. okay that's just heavy stuff above her. head okay have you seen. taekwondo i love taekwondo it's the. worst thing i've ever seen. what do you mean olympic taekwondo yeah. it's the worst thing i've ever seen.

clearly i'm joking that this is very. impressive yeah yeah thank you. we've got great news george kimmel. no longer has more followers on. instagram than fancy bee. we did what a great we did it you know. we did it bad friends family. we did it fancy b officially has 20. 000 followers and what does georgia what. is george. george has 17 000 oh and he'll never. catch up never guys we want to keep this. going. show the page because you know fancy.

beep. back rudy has almost 80 000. and i want. fancy to catch up let's get to 80. 000 with fancy fans we gotta post a. little bit more though can i just say. something else then. uh-huh i think anyone following george. listening right now. unfollow george please i want him to go. lower. right so that we can get him a little. cushion all right so. i'm telling you right now and i'm going. to say something right now i'm going to. look directly into the camera right. because i'm kind of like a shaman in. many ways correct right and i'm a good. luck charm.

correct so to to our. listeners we're very grateful for what. you've done. big time right we have the best fans in. the whole world. yep but i also have connections with the. spirit world. he definitely and what i want to say to. you is this. if you right now if you follow george. kimmel. if you unfollow him right good things. are going to happen for you in this year. you're going to have gifts that you. never thought you would receive money. some money if you're single something.

love some tang so a little bit of tank. tank is coming. right if you're a woman real good dick. real good dude like the high quality. like. we would suck it we would we would we. were gonna get that's what you're gonna. get. you're gonna get um you prosper. prosperity health. good health if you have a limp limp's. gone limp is gone yeah yeah yeah. if you have carpal tunnel you can play. [ __ ] ping pong now you can get back. yeah yeah get back in there right. so please i'm telling you and if you. don't unfollow him.

are you going to tell him what's going. to happen yeah you're going to have. joint aches. you'll have joint aches right you have. fever dreams fever dreams night sweats. night sweats right and you're not just. going to have. wet dreams they're not wet dreams it's. good you're going to piss yourself every. night yeah and what i've also. when i do some of these shaman. prophecies right right. and i don't know why but the your. eyebrow hairs fall off they all fall out. yeah they just start falling off oh no. like ash what happens what happens to. their toes you said something.

they crinkle they curl up they curl up. and crinkle like the wizard of oz yeah. like. yeah and they look real nasty oh great. they will look real nasty also what. happen. happens is indigestion problems well so. stomach tummy stuff yeah you want stuff. like it's like not crohn's but crohn's. it's clone crops it's. it's basically gross so please right i. don't want this to happen to you. me neither so please and also it's. hilarious it is very funny. so please it's hilarious. so please unfollow george campbell.

here's the goal yeah. we've got a we've got how many months. left in the year. four what do we got yeah august. september october november december five. months left yeah. five months we've got to get fancy b to. eighty thousand. eighty thousand and george stone and. george to a thousand. that's our goal fancy needs to be near. her and george needs to be near. an open mic an open mic yeah yeah or. below yeah. so please god please guys please we're. begging you we will begin.

so i'm gonna do a thing. now it's real wow it's real did you feel. that. yeah yeah you felt it right you did yeah. yeah i'll do one more. toyo oh that. made it that was real you found it in. your soul right here right yeah right. here your soul went jiggly. jiggle jiggly jiggle jiggles your soul. fancy you gotta post more if this is the. deal he's putting out all this.

no you know what my prophecy is this. right and my thing is. you don't even have to post fancy i. believe the fans are just going to do it. okay yeah yeah but i'm just going to do. it but also post more fancy maybe post. more. course a little bit more yeah yeah 66. posts is not enough it's. fancy b period one so keep rudy where. she is or gain a few more but fancy's. gotta get shoot up he's gotta get if. rudy's attitude doesn't change. oh then you're up next on the chopping. yeah i'll do another prophecy on you man. right but she doesn't care okay well.

then we'll delete your account. completely. yeah would you would you delete your. account. yeah if you want oh so we'll delete it. right now then. and you'll be completely fine with it. yeah she doesn't she's so cool for to. not care she's too young. the life life is so good nothing matters. it's such a great life yeah and we're. just older. clean cat pee good a lot dude. yeah a raccoon pooped on my front. doorstep.

unless that was you it was me. i clicked a raccoon biggest pile of [ __ ]. i've ever seen in my life. in your front door stuff front door and. i looked on my cam the camera on the. camera nothing it was me it was yeah. because can i tell you something yeah. you would play a good racoon no i do. ninja. shits you do ninja shifts yeah yes you. can't even see me on. yeah yeah yeah i flip flip flip [ __ ]. flip flip out. in and out you can't see me i cleaned up. the biggest pile of [ __ ].

today and my dog because i would be. funny you might have saw me. it's [ __ ] on your front it was. actually you shooting on my front. doorstep would it be funny well we'd. have a [ __ ] off. you want to do a [ __ ] off we would have. one yeah yeah kalila would be upset. i would have to clean it that's right. yeah. i did a [ __ ] off with ari shafir and it. i it backfired on me didn't he poop in a. car. he pooped in someone's car right not. just the car man so he. he saved up a month worth of [ __ ]. put it in the freezer that's [ __ ].

repulsive i know but he did he saved his. own poop. yeah in a double bag brown paper bag oh. my god. so what he did was he probably a month. worth of [ __ ]. and then what happened was he put it in. the handle of my car. so i did this [ __ ] in my fingers right. so i'm like what the [ __ ] i open the car. right yeah you poop on your hands right. and then he has. one on the windshield on the window.

just wrong window one little turd right. so i go i'll just do the [ __ ] wipers. it was all on the wipers so it wiped. [ __ ] all over it moved poop all over all. over the [ __ ] thing right. so i went to a 7-eleven down the street. and i went to a homeless guy and i go. dude if i get windex and paper towels at. 7-eleven will you clean this he goes. how much you told him it was poop it was. poop you said it was poop i go 50 bucks. nah nah i paid him 200 to clean poop off. your car yeah. you didn't want to go to professional.

car wash it was at two in the morning. they have those car washes at the gas. station i don't know how to do that so. i just had the guy played a homeless guy. yeah yeah 200 bucks yeah. and did you say he was he was so bummed. doing he's like [ __ ] [ __ ]. [ __ ]. all this jew [ __ ] i think he said do. [ __ ] not me he knew he knew his jewish. [ __ ]. but wait a minute yeah yeah 200 bucks. too much. no it's pretty good it's a good painting. it feels like a fair trade. yeah how much would you would it take. for you to clean poop off of a car. if i threw poop on bobby's car and you.

had to clean off how much does it cost. i can do it for free oh that's a. filipino winner that is the filipino. yeah no charge no you have to charge. yeah. 100 100 that's a good rate less than the. bum. less than a homeless person yeah you you. know what. we got to build your self-esteem we. really do hey man you don't clean up. [ __ ] for any less than five hundred. dollars. okay okay yeah is everything okay. yeah she it's so funny because she.

doesn't like. she doesn't realize that she has a lot. of people out there. bad friends yeah that lover right. to death like if if like you played. loser right. i played kalusa yeah if rudy would have. walked up. in on that on that stage 800 people they. would have lost it. would would they have lost it dude they. all asked they would have lost it. for you and you don't feel anything i do. what do you feel grateful.

i don't buy it i don't buy you just. don't buy it yeah yeah i don't buy it. i am prove it prove it. why don't you do this a little message. and this is not comedy you know i mean. this is a heartfelt message. that you can give to our fans to the bad. friends family right so. please the floor is yours look into your. public service announcement. from rudy into your camera hello. everyone not a good opening yeah.

you gotta have something stronger than. yellow like what. from your heart maybe go european like. different language. that's right european yeah why don't you. say it in filipino. in uh in uh what's your life what's the. language. let's hear it hello. see rudy.

tiny bubbles. and yeah bye bye. bye bye is there no bye bye in.

philippines and. what's goodbye what's goodbye there is a. word but i just say goodbye. i forgot do people do adults say bye-bye. to each other in the philippine language. like in that language right do you guys. use american words because you just. didn't create. like like hot like what words hospital. is that. no emergency room do you just say. emergency room. you'll just say emergency room they. don't have a word for emergency i think. there is but it's like a deeper. um deep cut.

[Laughter]. yeah you have to really be a fan of the. language what are some american words. that everyone has to use. because you didn't make one because you. guys are lazy. there is it's just a harder word a. harder word to say. yeah it's your it's your language that. doesn't make sense. yeah but in school they taught us. english so. like like my dad right growing up he. would go. you go turn off iroquon aircon.

yeah air conditioner right aircon. orangey. what's orange orange juice oh oh oh yeah. is that what an orange is i don't know. i'll give him orange juice i like that a. lot i gotta i wish we said. yeah so there's just certain words that. he would like you know. he would just shorten up and throw in. there like i remember like. i went to my friend craig crawford's. house yeah and his stepdad like we were. going out one night. you and his stepdad were going out no no. but craig and i were going out so. stepdad you know how. white families they'll sit down with.

their son and say hey guys so i know you. guys are going to party. but like um make sure you have my number. don't drink don't drink and drive. um you can always don't do drugs always. call me i'm here all night you know what. i mean. totally bc wear your seatbelt the whole. thing right so i remember one time. craig came to my house. and my dad his speech was this don't do. don't do that's it don't do. don't do and was craig like oh we won't.

do. it we won't do we won't do it don't. don't do it don't. which is so ambiguous because it's like. no anything. he doesn't want you to do anything yeah. but if i do anything it could be the. thing that he didn't want. of course that's why he did it so like. what did you do tonight we went to. mcdonald's i told you that. right it just slapped me right right. whenever slapped craig do you think he. ever would have hit one of your friends. no. well my bro my brother so my dad my. brother steve was with his friend. david oliver.

[Music]. so my dad and my dad my brother had. gotten this casio keyboard thing. he was a sampler yeah okay so you go. hello hello hello. hello hello right so they're just in my. brother's room playing this thing. laughing and they were a little too loud. my dad was taking a nap. so my dad ran into the room shut up. right completely naked. [Laughter]. he takes the casio keyboard right slams. it on my brother's head. no keys are just flying right.

and then here's the best here's the best. part he's the best part yeah. throws it down that's just wires my. brother's crying. he turns around and david oliver my. brother. almost the human they almost got. murdered because what they found on my. dad. was the funniest thing they had ever. seen what my dad had. toilet paper sticking out like a. korean fl like like a kite out of his.

head out of his ass. because my dad always had really moist. ass cheeks. he would sleep with this toilet paper in. his ass so he turned around and then. like. my brother was crying but then they. tried to cover because they didn't want. to get beat again because it was so. funny. wait your dad would just put toilet. paper in his butt cheeky channel right. in his [ __ ]. ass cheeks do you have to do that is. that but i do have a leaky thing like he. does you do. yeah it's hereditary yeah yeah why don't. you sleep at night with a diaper. or a pad i don't refuse to do it why if. you're gonna get older it's gonna get. worse no i have [ __ ] stains.

you do yeah do most of your underwear. has poop stains yeah right now. me undies yeah yeah but i do have a lot. of [ __ ] stains. but it's hereditary that's i don't know. if that is yeah. well you think that i don't finish. [ __ ] or i don't know how to wipe no. i don't. i don't think you finish i don't think. you wipe properly it's not finished dude. i do. um hello tushy. [Laughter]. yeah wait do you use do you use baby. wipes don't don't be insulting. okay dude you told me that you have [ __ ]. in your door listen you're 50.

i'm telling you right now my 50 year old. friend just told me he has poop streaks. in his underwear what do you want me to. do i'm inquiring. i'm telling you right now cha-cho right. it's hereditary. it's not google is poop streak is poo. is is a leaky anus hereditary yes i do. is a leaky it is hereditary. google loves this fecal incontinence you. don't have fecal incontinence. i have fecal incontinence no you don't. that's your confidence that's the name. of your next special fecal incontinence.

bobby's album fecal incontinence. inability to control bowel movements. that's not true you can control all that. and leak and it forces the feces to leak. unexpectedly from the rectum you don't. have that that's i don't want 100. that's old people dude that's like. people in their 70s and 80s i have it. dude. you do you think you're frequently. encountered 100 i have it really. yeah i don't have a good diet too i. think that's what it is no no bad dyes. don't just make you poop. out of nowhere well if you eat like. reese's peanut butter cups love. and acai bowls every day that's all you. eat yeah it'll happen what did you eat. today. i say bowl i swear on my that's all.

you've had i swear on my mother's life. what do you eat for the day eggs that's. all you had today was eggs. rice rice yeah and. greens what salad yeah. that's not a bad diet i say ebola in. reese's pieces is not you can't dude. i have i know and i will i have and i. will. okay speaking of which yeah your 50th. birthday is coming up yeah we have to do. something important i'm going to be a. big party. i know but we have to do a bad friend's. thing.

so we all decided without bobby right in. uh and we're gonna pick a winner to come. party with bobby for his 50th birthday. one of the bad friends fans. more than one let's do ten how many. people do you want let's do a 10. how about this yeah let's do a. competition. 10 fans 10 10 bad friends fans they if. they live. in southern southern southern california. because yeah. you can come up and we'll where you get. your mask. and you have to be also vaccinated sure. you have to have a vaccination card. yeah wait wait they don't have to live.

here they have to live close enough. where they can get here on there if you. want to fly. if you will fly here they'll fly here. for bobby's 50th for my 50th. and we'll because i'm going to have one. party should just invite them to my big. party. 100 so i'm going to have a big party. where i'm going to have all the comics. there. and some actors and and a lot of. filipinos can you imagine how this is. going to be so big for them what do they. have to do to get to your 50th birthday. party they know what they have to do. that's all i have to say huh.

they know what they have to do you're. not gonna give them an email or anything. so they how do they submit oh yeah they. have to submit that's true. you have to find out somehow some way. that they want to come to your favorite. birthday party do we want them to send. in a video explaining why they deserve. to come to the. to the party yeah get have a good. example why. i want to party with bobby at gmail.com. because i want to feel like you're. a real fan well we need to know i need. passion. right right and i need um because i. don't want you to show up and like you. know.

what's your favorite episode or whatever. and like i only seen two i don't want. that you don't you want a die hard i. want somebody that's seen. every week right you know what i mean. also somebody that um. will give us like helpful advice in. terms of. how we can improve at the show yeah okay. and what we need to keep doing okay yeah. yeah. just different things but the top thing. is positive analysis you gotta explain. why you think you deserve to come to. bobby's 50th birthday because that's a. monumental dude it's a half a century. it's huge. that's huge yeah so hopefully the email.

will be. i want to party with bobby gmail.com if. it's not. we'll put the real one right here on the. screen they'll find out yeah yeah the. real one will be right here right now. yeah and we'll let you know what it is. and do you think 10's a lot. 10 seems like way too many i said one. yeah that's my 10. well how about let. rudy pick. i think 10 is fine all right 10's fine. yeah but it's going to be. here's how about this we'll do four. you can bring a guest ah that makes. sense u plus one u plus one that's i. like that right because you want to beat. google there alone.

that that would be right but that'd be. five oh yeah so do five five plus one. plus one is ten yeah and also just the. person that you bring. right just don't bring any crazies don't. bring any crazies. in fact i wanna know in the video who. you're gonna bring that's fun. explain why you're why you're bringing. the person right that's really good i. need a little bit of a pitch. that's what they're doing yeah yeah yeah. he's a christian. right he plays batman for this call. whatever it might be. you love badminton players i love batman. that's a big thing that's gonna be at.

the party we're gonna have badminton. yeah and then i'm probably gonna do it. at a restaurant. well we need a room we need like a. banquet room for it no i want a. restaurant. i'll rent out a restaurant i know we. gotta rent the whole thing i will. mastros. no something like um weird obscure. obscure and weird but good food chili. that's a place that we. no no man chili's a good place. chili's is great like how about like. morton's. like one of those the palm just like we. think we get that it's so expensive.

so what yeah you know what we'll do. we'll take it from the rudy fund we'll. take the money from the rudy fund she'll. never know. ryan how will she know she doesn't even. know what's in there right now. yes take money from them what's the date. it's august. today's august today is not we're august. already it's next month. yeah dude that's what i'm saying we're. gonna make a reservation now now we need. to get on this right now we do have to. do it yes 100. and do in invites yeah dude yeah we. gotta do but we gotta do a big we have. to start now.

yeah who do i invite who do i invite who. do you invite to your party yeah just. name some people. uh griffin for sure eric yeah me. for sure um whitney cummings yeah. rudy yeah okay rudy right hey. pete yeah those guys come peed. yeah i like them pete please submit a. video to i want to party with bobby. yeah yeah maybe a video you got it yeah. i want pete to make a video yeah about. fans. yeah for sure and pd who's pd pink dick.

yeah yeah okay fine yeah then he can. come all right so outside of that who. else. some comics probably some actors i'm. gonna go highball it too who famous. i'm gonna try for jordan peele he won't. be able to he'll never do it yeah. i'm gonna try for jamie lee curtis never. she'll never ever come i'm gonna try for. um keegan will come. no won't won't come will not come sasso. he'll come he'll come. yeah you make a big list in my head i'm. like what women a lot nikki glazier. all the podcast people like burke rice. or tom sagura all those types of people.

bert won't come i will he's i'm saying. he's on the road those guys are all on. the road and segura lives in austin now. joe coyle invite would you invite joe. rogan he's not in town but i dare you to. invite him. i will invite him invite him and see if. we'll come for your 50th birthday i. talked to him a couple days ago. all right name female comics that you. want there a lot of my openers like jake. cataprida yeah. um nicole amy schreiber who opened for. me annie letterman. yeah nicole amy just opened for me this. weekend how great. so funny yeah i would go for mark maron.

bill burr. those types of guys yeah they won't come. [Laughter]. billboard definitely dude i think i'm. gonna come to your [ __ ]. 50th birthday party oh magical [ __ ]. two years but. i went to his to bills yeah yeah but. he's he's more famous than you. yeah he's not going to come i'm going to. invite him yeah but i know he's going to. throw it right in the trash. yeah um imagine he'll get the email and. he won't even open. the door paulie will come paulie will. have to be there i think he'll work. there i think he should.

he should serve drinks yeah it'll be. you'll know people can i be honest with. you we should have a dinner for our. family like our clothes the close. people yeah and your party should should. be at the comedy store. no be in the main room i'm doing a. 300-man. party at a restaurant okay fine okay. anyway thank you. bob i love you submit guys i want to. party with boba gmail. what does this. come on in a couple weeks. two weeks okay yeah and then so we'll. find out who submits those videos. uh excited to see them so excited i'm so.

excited all right. rudy sign us off in in what's the. language again. say thank you for being a bad friend and. pasaya on the in the camera there. salamat for being a bad friend. no no no no no you can't assume. how do you what does salama mean thank. you how do you say. bad naughty negative no.

how do you not know your own language. it's so sad it's hard to translate.

thank you for being a bad friend let's. see if it comes close yeah thank you for. being here. a bad friend all right see if this is. close rudy all right the machine. says. [Music]. that's tagalog though all right fine. then [ __ ]. go to google translate pizza we can get. her the one that she needs. google translate all right what is it. called. v with a v yeah okay see it there. no nothing wow it's not there that's how.

much it. it's it's a language only one island. says right a couple of islands. all right what's the closest tagalog go. to that try that one that's fine sorry. it's up there first top. so we'll just have to do it in tangalo. because you don't even know your own. language oh you don't like that. no it's fine no no stop pete type this. just type this in right where you're. typing. tell him how to spell your version we. want to do your justice. because philippines won a gold medal. this is the least we could do for the. philippines yeah but.

the the one that juan might be. might be um speaking tagalog so it's. fine. let me ask you something can you just go. back can you go back. can you can you go back to the. philippines listen guys. we're going to do one language yeah. not every island gets it their own. [ __ ] language no it's so small anyway. yeah type this in it's like vermont. michigan. all these states having a different. language okay is that close salamat. is good tell us how to say it.

great that's great so do that. and go go salam.

great. [Music]. woof.