Eric Andre Goes Full Korean | Ep 326 | Bad Friends
Hey everybody. Um, so our friend of ours passed away. This. is we're recording it the day after. Um, it it hit us hard and it's for Oliver. tree. Um, he was a dear friend of ours. and I just don't I really just don't. know really what to say about it. I'm. still processing it. >> Yeah. It's uh we don't know what to say. So, we're not going to say much other. than we loved him so very much. He was a. good friend of ours, a part of our. world. his um.
he'll be on the uh an episode of the Bad. Game Show in a couple of weeks, but uh. he was uh near and dear to us. We loved. him very much. He was a really good dude. and we're going to miss him a lot and uh. we love you. >> We love you. >> and uh he'll forever be a bad friend. >> Hey. >> Hey everybody. Andrew is the best comic. on planet earth and he's doing shows in. San Diego. The sound Delmare. Um. >> June 28th, two shows. We're doing an. early show and a late show down in. Delmare, Bobby's hometown. Please come.
out and see me. San Diego. Uh, I love. you very much. And then I'm playing St. Charles, which is St. Louis, Missouri. there. August 7th. Go to androantino.com. for those tickets. Andrewsantino.com. >> You two are bad friends. >> Who are these two idiots, >> a white dude, and an Asian dude. You two. are disgusting. >> Well, you two are something. >> We're bad friends. >> Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you.
Happy birthday, >> dear Men. >> Happy birthday to you. >> Um. >> guys, >> it's [laughter] it's funny because um. you're dressed in a suit, wearing a tie. because you're going to a big event. You're going to. >> an event where Steven Spielberg is going. to talk about Disclosure Day. And I told. you, let me finish. Um, I told you. before this podcast, just go now. Go now.
because you're not going to be here for. the pod. And I realized why you stayed. for the happy birthday song. [laughter]. >> Cuz also I wanted to cuz you didn't know. it was my birthday. >> Yeah. >> Nor did I care. >> I know. [laughter]. >> That's fair. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> Blow out your Ralph's cake. >> Happy birthday, kiddo. >> Thanks, Bob. That was crazy. My wish was. I wish Bobby cared about my birthday. And right when I blew it out, you said. happy birthday. >> Dude, it's so weird that you just said. that because my my [laughter] my. emotions just changed about it. And I'm.
going to give you a hug. >> It was like obsession. >> Wow. >> The wishbone. >> Yeah. Yeah. Come here. Wishbone. >> The wishbone. >> You saw it? >> I saw it. >> And I'll say this. Are you drinking? You're not drinking this? No. >> So you got this just for me to drink. alone? >> Well, for I want a mone to drink. >> Okay. I'll I'll cheers you. >> Yeah. >> And you know what pisses me off about. this kid? I sent him a text this morning. and in the text uh it said, "Happy. birthday. You continue to let me down.".
Um here. Cheers. >> Cheers. >> All right. >> Cheers. >> Okay. Oh [laughter] my god. What kind of. operation are we running here? >> I sent him a glasses at least. >> I sent him a. >> real glasses. >> They're from RS. >> Okay. >> Happy birthday. You continue to let me. down year after year, and I know this. following year will be just the same. >> Love you. >> I I didn't text you, but I like to do a. live text. >> Yeah, live text them.
>> Yeah. Um, you've grown enormously over. the years. >> Thank you. >> Um, I've realized you do have talent. >> You really do. >> Thank you. >> Yeah, you're a creative kid. You have. talent. And I, you know, being a. Hollywood piece of [ __ ]. >> is going to I'm going to treat you nicer. because I believe I believe one day you. will get that opportunity. So I'm going. to change, right? And go, kid. Kido, dude, you got it, kid. >> And and you're talented and I embrace.
you and I want you to have a good time. tonight. And whatever you need, I got. you. If he gives you money, I'll give. you double. >> Wow. >> I g I gave him five grand. [laughter]. I'm going to give you 10 grand. >> No, but I'm giving him five grand today. and five grand on his birthday. Which. for why? >> Birthday party. Huh? >> Why'd you give him five grand today? >> Because I Well, he needed the money. He. said he can't pay rent. So, I gave him. five grand and then I said, "On Friday. at your birthday party, I'll give you. another five." So, 10. >> I'll give you. >> So, 20. >> Yeah. Yeah. But then I have to see the.
receipts first to know that you got the. money and then I will do. >> It was cash. I gave him cash. >> I'd like to see the cash. [laughter]. >> Yeah. Yeah. Do you have the cash on you? >> It's in my car. >> It's in your car. Go grab grab it. >> It's it's it's redheaded trickery. >> He's not a redhead. >> I know you. >> I'm not a trick. >> You're a deceiver. >> You're a treat. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> Well, what annoys me about the kid is he. saw me get out of my car and he stared. at my hand like an autistic little an. autistic little spy. >> And he was like, "Oh, what is that? Is. that a gift for me?".
>> And it's annoying cuz it is, but it's so. annoying that you stared. You didn't. even say hi. You just stared at my hands. to see when I walked out of my car. Like. he's just like such an little autistic. weirdo. He didn't say hi. He just looked. down at my arms to see what I'm carrying. and then looked up at me. That's why I. pushed him as hard as I could. >> What? What did he give you? >> He hasn't given it to me yet, but I. believe it's a record. >> Oh, it's a record. >> Based on the shape of the package. >> Two records now. >> Oh, two records now. Okay. >> Well, three, including the two that. [laughter] Bobby will give me. >> No, I'm I'm not going to give you. record. >> Double. >> I'm going to do something better.
>> Whoa. >> Yeah. I'm going to double down on it. >> All right. Get the record. >> Okay. Happy birthday, bud. >> This is a uh very special. And so, let. me warn you something before you do. this. Know that this is. graded and rated twice. Okay? >> If you know anything about collections, >> and rated twice, >> this guy. >> Okay. >> You're so annoying. >> Okay. >> You're You are so [ __ ] annoying. >> I learned it. I learned it this morning. [laughter]. >> You learned a lot. >> I don't know anything about it.
>> It It's like the cards he gave me from. Arsenal. [laughter] You know what I. mean? >> What? Those were super valuable. >> I understand that. That's why it's in a. safe. I didn't know anything about. cards. >> I I understand. So, tell me how much. this is. >> So, all I know is that this woman told. me. >> these are graded the the cover is mint. It's M. It got a mint cover and it got. two pluses plus on the physical. >> like air1 water. [laughter]. >> It's very special. >> On the physical. >> on the physical album itself. is graded.
>> This is sick. >> That is so sick, dude. >> It's the a Japanese a Japanese press. Now, check this out. Be very careful. Open it up and show the record. This is. the sickest part. Look at that. People. can see it's a it's it's red vinyl. >> That's amazing. >> That's Don't take it out. >> How much? >> They said that is. >> If you take it out, she said make sure. you play it. If you're going to take it. out, play it. >> Yeah, but don't like take it out and. pull it out of the. >> No, no. I take my records very. >> Can I be honest with you? >> What? >> This is a copy. It's 96 cents. I I.
bought it. I got it on Amazon. >> Thank you. That's very nice. It's very. rad, right? >> Well, I I'm just going to let you know. that I knew I know how much it is. >> You do? I know. >> Cuz I Googled it, right? And so I'm. going to Venmo you later. >> And I want that receipt. >> Yeah. [laughter]. >> That's a receipt we need. >> Okay. >> Um, >> it's not a competition, but. >> it is. You made it. I don't make it. >> YES, YOU DID. YOU. >> ENERGY. EVEN WHEN I CAME IN HERE, YOUR. ENERGY WAS like [ __ ] angry and like. >> I had a tough day. That's why. >> Tell me about your day. >> No, I had an ocular today. I had an.
ocular migraine today. M I. >> But what happened? >> I haven't had one in months and months, but there were You go blind. I go blind. in my eye. My left eye. >> Oh no. >> I know. It was really It sucks. It. sucks. [ __ ]. >> Did you have a dizzy spell in the. bathroom again? [laughter]. >> Remember? >> Yes. >> The little slip. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> I can't wait till you have a stroke. [laughter]. >> And when you do, I'm going to walk into. the hospital and be like, "Oh, you. [laughter] have a little [ __ ]. stroke.". >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You're going to. be like,
>> "Yeah.". >> And you'll relearn how to speak again. >> Okay. Well, that's. >> Yeah. I. >> [ __ ] you. >> [ __ ] you. >> WHAT ARE YOU DOING TODAY? >> YOU STARTED IT. >> NO, YOU WERE ANGRY BEFORE. >> And then I came in and then I'm just. trying to have a talk with the guys and. here's you. Can I say something? Can I. say something? You're Trump. Can I say. something? Can I say something? And I. couldn't let I couldn't get anything. out. >> Yeah, we're living in a simulation. >> I believe we're living in a simulation. I'll tell you what's happened. Okay. I.
was in Toronto. >> I was in an elevator with this tall man, white hair, glasses, and he was. particularly hip, but old. >> Mhm. >> And you know, when old people get um. they they stop turning sexy, they start. dressing weirder, >> you know what I mean? Like loud. sweatpants. You know what I mean? >> So you now? >> Yes. >> That's you now. >> Yeah, that's me now. I don't care how my. hair goes. Right. Yesterday I I I I did. all green with socks. >> You've never cared how you how you. dress. You always dress funky.
>> Yeah. Yeah. I've always been like that. >> You've always been a funky person, >> right? So this guy had a specific look, right? And he had this smaller wife, very pretty, right? And I just go, "Dude, I like your style." He's like, "Thanks, dude. You're a comedian, right?" I go, "Yeah." And that was. pretty much the conversation, right? I'm. in Chicago. >> Mhm. >> At the hotel and they just walk by me. >> The same couple. >> The same couple. And he goes, "Hey." I. go, "What the fuck?" And he goes, "What.
do you mean?" I go, "Didn't we?" He. goes, "Yeah." And I went, "Simulation?". He goes, "Maybe.". >> Dude, you're telling me he didn't go to. Chicago to see you? I assumed. >> he did. No. No. He was just randomly. there. >> No [ __ ] way. Yes way. >> Here's what happened in my mind. This. guy's trying to play it cool. >> No. No. That's not what I play it out. >> Gets back to the room with his wife and. she's like, I love Bobby Lee. And he's. like, "You should have said something.". She goes, "Oh, I don't know. He's. playing a show. It's all sold out as it.
always is." And then the guy goes, "Oh, there's tickets available in Chicago. Chicago, Toronto, very short flight.". And he goes, "You know what? Let's go to. Chicago and see them." And it just so. happens that the kind of people that can. pull the trigger last minute would stay. at a hotel that you'd be staying at. because it's five-star. I know that. >> Okay. And that's what happened. >> All right. >> And I believe that's exactly what. happened. >> That's not what happened. >> What happened? >> It It's a simulation. [laughter]. >> Okay. Here's another thing that I. experienced that my girlfriend could. even You know what I mean? Tell you.
>> She can attest. >> We're walking down the street. This is a. couple weeks ago, right? There's a car, a Lincoln. >> Continental. >> Yes. A old school car, right? Black. >> Yeah. Love them. >> Lincoln. So, we're walking down the. street. On the left side, there's a. Lincoln Continental parked, right? There's four black guys, right? The. windows roll down. There's a woman in. the driver's seat, but she's parked. >> Okay. >> Right. And they're dancing. >> They're always dancing. >> They're always dancing. And And And I. love the freedom of dance. [laughter].
You mean I don't care what color you. are. >> We're pro dance. >> Yeah. I'm Yeah. River dance. >> You know what I mean? The ice swing, whatever you call it. Break dancing. I. love it. Right. >> They're [ __ ] dancing that we're. walking by. Right. Boom box. Yeah, >> boom box. >> Guess what? >> Yep. >> No music. >> They were in sync. They were in. complete. >> There was literally no music and they. were dancing and she's dancing in the. car like bobbing her head and [snorts]. there was no music. And as we turned the. corner, I looked at my girlfriend. I go,
"Are you real? [laughter]. >> Did she hear music?". >> No. >> And and I don't even think you're real. >> Do they have headphones? [laughter and clears throat]. >> What? Did they have. >> They had no headphones. >> Silent disco. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It It was so surreal. >> You know what it is? They were shooting. like a Target ad and and you can't play. the music while you're filming and he. just saw a scene from a Target ad. Or. can you imagine if we are in a. simulation and there's a crack and. they're letting you see it? [laughter]. >> I know. I think they're letting me see.
it. >> They're letting you see it cuz they go, "No one will believe Bobby. He says. crazy [ __ ] for years.". >> 20 years he's been saying nonsense on. podcasts. No one's going to believe him. Yeah. >> And so they will tease you. That's what. the aliens would do. >> They go, "Fuck him. They'll never. believe him. He's crazy.". >> Okay. Last simulation. >> I'm at a restaurant. >> Okay. >> Yeah. >> But I don't get a menu. Okay. No menu. Right. So I just walk up to the host and. I go, "Can I get a menu?" And they go, "What are you doing here?" "What? That.
what they say?". >> Like you're in Truman Show. >> Yeah. Like I'm in Truman Show. What? What? Like it was almost as if Right. I. wasn't supposed to approach this person. >> You weren't supposed to be there today. >> Right. >> Another day you could have. >> I could have been there. Like he was. rehearsing. >> Right. >> Right. [laughter]. >> Okay. >> The cooks were like, "Oh [ __ ]. >> Oh shit." Right. And I looked in the. kitchen. No vegetables in the You know. what I mean? Nothing's going on. We're. just want Right. There's a cast chair.
[laughter]. >> Someone gets up. >> The guy just You mean reading a. newspaper? [laughter]. Yeah. Yeah. And he was almost as if like. um I wasn't supposed to be there and he. didn't even know what I was talking. about. >> Well, he wasn't. >> and he was kind of looking around for it. was really [ __ ] weird. >> Let's play the logic card. >> They're probably switching from lunch to. dinner and he's like, "What do you We. don't We're unprepared.". >> Okay. >> If I'm If I'm going to play. >> very I want you to because I don't want. to lose my mind. >> Well, you should. I mean, we don't want. to lose. Yeah. So, what you're saying to. me is this then, okay, that the two.
people I ran into from Toronto and. Chicago secretly. >> fans, >> right, are fans. >> Not secretly, they're fans. You have. millions of. >> He has no He I had to tell him what I. did. >> You said he said you're a comedian, right? >> Right. And I go, "Yeah." He's like, "Oh, >> which is him playing Koi.". >> Okay. Okay. >> He's a rich guy playing cool. You're He. doesn't want to in front of his wife go, [gasps] "ARE [laughter] YOU THE. COMEDIAN?". >> THAT'S THAT DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE. It. does. People do that all the time. People try to act cool all the time. And.
>> all right, so let's. >> you're you're a standup, right? >> All right. >> And then they know everything you've. done. >> Let's let's just say let's Okay, so Lou. Reed, for instance, if when he was. alive, right? He did a poetry reading. I. went to it, right? Right. And if I ran. into Lou Reed on the street, right? It. wouldn't be like I would pretend, right, that it wasn't [ __ ] Lou Reed. >> But you're in entertainment. You're. talking about a guy who's probably in. finance. He doesn't do this for a. living. >> All right. Exact. So, and you're a guy. WHO. >> AND WHAT YOU'RE TELLING me is the black. people dancing is a Target commercial.
[laughter]. >> Yeah. I mean, they are I just happened. to walk in from a shoot. >> Could be Walmart. >> Could be Walmart. >> It could be Walmart. Uh, >> interesting. >> Costco. [laughter]. >> Let's go. Costco. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> Kmart. Is Kmart still around? >> Yeah. And I I came in the wrong time at. that restaurant. >> Yep. >> Okay. >> These three things. >> those all three things can be true. >> 100%. >> It's not a simulation. I mean, I'll give. you the I I had one. I'm not going to. lie. >> Okay, give me a simulation. >> Something [ __ ] me up in a The garbage.
the garbage can, the garbage truck came. I sat at the front window. >> Yeah. >> I was looking out having coffee in the. morning. >> I watched the cuz my house was asleep. >> No one's awake with me. I'm up early. Yeah. >> I watched the garbage truck grab my bin, my black bin. It's so loud. It's unmistakable. >> What time? >> It was about 7 in the morning. >> Okay. It was an Italian garbage. Yes. >> Oh, >> yes.
Okay. >> And I see it happen. >> Yeah. >> I go back. I sit down. I'm on the. computer. I'm doing some stuff. She. wakes up. Dogs up. Dogs need to be taken. out to poop and pee. >> Yeah. One dog. >> Huh? I said she wakes up. Dog wakes up. >> You said dogs. You said plural. >> Oh, so we're correcting each other's. English. Well, when you say dogs, you. imply there's more than one dog and you. have one [ __ ] dog. >> Maybe there is. >> No, there isn't. >> Maybe. >> Oh, so you got a new dog.
>> Maybe. >> It's so funny because it would be. something that you would tell me. >> Maybe. >> Okay. >> But the simulation hasn't communicated. whether or not I should tell you. >> Continue the story. >> I go outside to take dog for poop. >> Your pack of wolves. >> Well, they're might as well just. embellish. >> Okay. The [laughter] herd. >> The herd. And my garbage can is closed. >> Yeah. >> So I grab it to wheel it up to the house. >> and it's full of trash.
>> Oh my. >> dude. That's so annoying. >> No, but I was like somebody switched. trash. Somebody didn't take out the. trash or some [ __ ] and they just moved. theirs where mine was. >> Okay. Did you look. >> Wait a minute. >> Okay. >> My [ __ ] address is on it. So it was. mine. But what you have to do then is open up. the trash can to see if those are your. items. >> Cuz if you look at my trash can, you. know it's my trash can. >> There's banana peels. >> Wait, what? What else? >> What? >> Banana peels.
>> I have banana peels. Yeah, >> right. I'll probably empty bottle cans. of red. >> Sugar-free red bowl. I'm sorry. >> Kimchi. >> Yeah. Old bottles of kimchi, Bob. >> You know, [ __ ] you, dude. >> Some flour seeds. >> Yes. [laughter]. >> I think your That was. >> No, it wasn't. There's your bin was. >> Yeah. Yeah. I also have empty bottles of. uh um instant coffee. >> I buy 15 empty bottles of instant. coffee. >> Why are we buying instant coffee? >> You have no idea. I have a factory at.
home. >> You're making instant coffee? >> No, I have I have 15 bottles. My my. Okay, so my pool my pool asked honey. today. They said, "Um, your swimming. pool is black.". [laughter]. And I go, "Yeah, it's pure black." I go, "Yeah, it's fine." But how is it black? Instant coffee. [laughter]. >> Why are you putting that in your pool? >> It's none of your business.
>> Trying to crack the simulation. [laughter]. >> Yeah, >> I get what you're up to. >> It's a simulation cracker, dude. >> You're trying to crack. >> you you you add weird. You You buy olive. oil, which I have. Not olive oil. White. vinegar. >> Okay. I I I bought 15 boxes of white. vinegar. >> Uhhuh. >> Yeah. The simulation doesn't know what. to do with it. [laughter]. >> Ah, >> yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's going Why is a. human being? You know what I mean? What? >> In your pool. >> What? >> Why are you putting coffee in your pool? >> It's for my t-shirts. [laughter]. >> It is.
>> What? >> It's for my t-shirts. >> You're dying your shirts with coffee and. chlorine. >> The fonts. >> The fonts. >> Yeah. Although today, >> have you lost your [ __ ] mind? [laughter]. What is going on? >> Trying to recreate Maidworn. >> Google. Oh, you want to do what Maidworn. did? >> Yeah. So, >> Google instant coffee. But why is it in. your swimming pool? >> It's not It's not literally that. So, this is what This is what happened. >> Just put it in your tub. >> I know. I I know. This is what happened. Okay. >> Who told you how to do this?
>> I'm making it up. I'm experimenting with. different things. Okay. So, this is what. I did. Okay. >> [ __ ]. >> Dude, you're bored. >> I'm so bored. No, I have hobbies. >> I'm so busy. Yeah. This is what. >> And you get to fill up your pool. [laughter] with instant coffee. >> All right. So, check it out. This shirt. I got yesterday. >> Uh-huh. >> Brand new. >> It was white. >> Yeah. It's right. So, it's like you put. >> Right. You put like little paint, right? >> Got it. >> Right. See all the. >> That's what my daughter does. >> Scrubbing. >> Yeah. [laughter]. >> Yeah. Yeah. I do with sandpaper.
>> You sandpapered it. >> Yeah. I sandpaper the whole shirt. >> So, you buy new [ __ ] and make it look. old. >> Yeah. I I I I do experiments. So the. swimming pool thing doesn't work. [laughter]. You You need probably a truckload of. coffee for it to work. So you I mean 15. bottles of instant coffee does not work. in a swimming pool. >> Yeah, dude. Swimming pool is so big. >> It's so big. Yeah, it was too much. >> Do the tub. >> You're right. So I go I'll go tub next. time. [laughter] Right. But I do I do. things when I not bor It's not boredom.
It's not boredom. What it is is. >> too much time. It's not the time either. because we've been very busy, you and I, on the road. All right. >> At home, >> I know. So, at home, it's either I play. video games. >> Okay. >> Right. Which I haven't played in four or. five months. A single video game. >> Girlfriend guy. >> What? >> He's a girlfriend guy now. >> I'm a girlfriend guy. And number two, right, I haven't drolled. >> Oh, that's great. >> Right. So then to occupy my my time, I. have a hobby which is distressing.
shirts. >> I like it. Okay. But are you planning on. selling them? >> No. >> You should. >> Yeah. Today I bought. >> So I have 20 shirts coming probably. [laughter] over the weekend and then I. have 20 more shirts coming next week. >> Well, this is your only sweat shop. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I have a sweat. shop. >> CLA. Pay now later or overtime, whatever. fits your life. I have a friend named. Alex, right? And he wants this. tracksuit. >> I go, do use CLA. >> Yeah. >> You can do four easy payments. And he.
has the tracksuit now. And it looks. terrible. >> IT DOES. IT DOES. BUT HE WAS ABLE to. afford it. >> Well, because I tell you, they have a. lot of flexibility. You can pay now, later, or over time, which is great. You. have the options to do that with Clara. And they have value, transparency, and. control without any surprises. This is. the problem nowadays with these payment. apps. A lot of people are like, they. throw something at you that looks big. and good, and then they hook you and. they do the bait and switch. But Clara. does not do that. Here's the thing uh. about uh Clara, which is very helpful in. this day and age. A lot of people are.
noticing uh shrinkflation. Do you know. what that is? Things are getting more. expensive and they're giving you less. And you know what the way to fight back. is only get stuff that you want and only. get stuff that means something to you. You can pay over time. You don't have to. pay it off right now. So if you're. really looking for something that's. important to you, CLA helps you get what. you need and or want and not have to pay. now. You can do it later or overtime on. your schedule. Flexibility. Pay now, later, or overtime. Like Andrew said, value. Transparency, control, and no.
surprises. >> That's right. Download the Cloner app. today or visit cla.com to learn more. California resident loans made or. arranged pursuant to a California. finance law. License NMLS number. 1353190. Clara balance account required to be. eligible for cash back points. Limitations, terms, and conditions. apply. Ethos. >> You know what? I'm 54 years old and. >> you're getting up there. >> I'm getting over there. >> I'm sorry. >> And it's okay because I'm taking care of. my life because I I have life insurance. now through ethos. Yeah. >> And it makes life insurance fast and.
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>> That's ethos ethos.com/badfriends. Application times may vary, rates may. vary. >> Anyway, my point though being is that. it's not boredom. It's just me having a. hobby. >> Yeah. >> And I get obsessed with things and this. is just what I'm putting my time to. >> I know we all have an obsess. Yeah. >> Yeah. Yeah. I mean, you have obsessions. as well. Golf. >> These guys, I'm obsessed with their. health and wellbeing. >> Yeah. Thank you, Andrew. >> Yeah. And as me as well, like for. instance, that bad friend shirt you're. wearing is a great shirt. It's one of my. favorites. I could distress it for you. >> Actually, that would be cool distressed.
>> You don't want to distress? >> I definitely want to distress. >> Okay. >> He wants to de-stress is what he he's. very stressed out. >> Cuz to me it looks brand new. Too brand. new for me. >> Well, do you want to tell Bob the. unfortunate news? His child is leaving. him and his wife. >> Yeah. >> His kid is getting a divorce from her. parents. >> legally. >> Emancipating. >> Emancipating. >> Wait, wait. Your child. >> Yeah. >> is leaving your wife and you. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> Decided. >> And your child is what? One years old. >> Three. >> Oh, three.
>> One. >> I don't know how old this kid is. >> She She's been around, dude. >> I've never met her. >> She's big. She has a bank account. >> Oh, she does. >> Yeah. >> Okay. And she just said, "I'm leaving. >> I'm leaving.". >> Yeah. So, this is what you do. Cuz I. know this is what happens. >> It's happened to him before. He knows. >> cuz I did it. >> Yeah. And my parents were too weak. What. you do is this, right? You [snorts] let. him leave. >> Yeah. >> And so I left. I packed all my stuff as. a kid. >> Me, too. >> I go, "Daddy, mommy, I'm going to go. leave home now. Come back." And then And.
my dad was like, "Okay, go. Go." I made. it to the driveway and I cried and I ran. back inside. Right. >> You don't do that. You lock the doors. >> Lock. Change the lock. >> Yeah. Yeah. You change the locks. You. lock the doors. You give it a week. >> I never do it again. >> I say lock the doors. change the locks, call the police if they try to come. back. This is this is someone as a. >> B& because what it teaches them is. strength. >> Yep. >> You know, and that's why I've been able. to win Uno.
>> So, in the how Sorry, >> I like it. >> No, I. >> You're the Uno king, babe. >> I I'm going to show you some photos I've. that I have. >> How many games of Uno have you won in a. row? >> I'm four in a row right now, dude. >> Wow. >> Yeah. And I'm going to just show you. And I've been trolling anyone that plays. Uno with me. I troll them with this. And. this says Uno King. Four in a row. Four. in a row. Uno. >> Four in a row, guys. Okay. And um I. played with me, my girlfriend, Honey, Jewels, and her sister, Issa. >> Do you ever let your girlfriend win?
>> I say I help her, but I sabotage her. >> You do? That's smart. >> Yeah. I play mind games. >> That's good. >> Yeah. >> They If equal rights, man, if we want to. be equal, we got to we got to play it. out. >> For instance, if I'm sitting next to my. girlfriend and she she wants to plus for. me. Huh? >> I look around right and I I go, "Didn't. we have a nice dinner tonight?" [snorts]. >> Oh, you manipulate. >> I manipulate. >> Smart. >> I look at Honey. >> She's weak. Yeah. >> Yeah. Not No, >> she's weak. >> Okay. And uh and you know, like those. mystery cards, you know what I mean? I.
always whenever she looks at me like. exchange your hand with my hand, I'll go. like this. [laughter]. >> Right. And she won't do it. >> Go ahead. >> You know what I mean? >> Smart. >> That do. >> Yeah. Yeah. So when I play Uno, I I use. games. I use mind games and um. >> manipulation. >> Manipulation and power. >> Power and bullying. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And bullying. Yeah. Yeah. >> That's how Uno was. [laughter] That's. what it was meant to do. >> I mean, bring up Uno. When did Uno. start? Cuz I got to tell you, buddy, the.
origins of this were were using the same. tactics that Bobby's using to win this. game. >> Yeah. >> Uno was invented 71 by Merl Robbins, a. barber from Reading, Ohio, created the. game in his kitchen table to resolve an. argument with his son about the rules of. crazy eights. >> Yep. >> Original decks were the Robins family. That's crazy. So, it was another game. they were fighting over to make a new. game. >> And anyone that says that Uno is um pure. luck is out of their minds. There is. skill involved. >> Tactics. Yeah, >> it's tactics. >> Tactics. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> It's using what you have.
>> It's what you have. >> Oh, he died, huh? >> Yeah, he died. And And God bless you, Merl. What a great game. You. >> Great game, bud. >> Yeah. Merl Robbins, what a great game. And he probably made a good chunk out of. that game. You think? >> No. This is one of those things I bet. you he never made a lot of money. You. know these stories where they're like, you know, like that chick who who did. the Nike swoosh? >> They gave her 35 bucks. That was what it. was. And then he gave her a bunch of. stock, but the stock wasn't worth. >> Oh, wait. Did make money. I know it, right? >> Uh sold the game for $50,000 upfront. plus a royalty of 10 cents per game.
sold. >> Well, that's good then. >> That is really good. >> That's good. >> Well, let's see this. Uh Google um about. how many decks of Uno have been sold. since its inception. [laughter]. I'd like to know. >> I want to know. >> I mean, I want to know how much Merl. made. >> Yeah. 10 cents was low. >> 500 million decks. >> 500 million decks. >> times 10 cents. >> Was it 10 cents? Is that what it was? >> Yes. A dollar. >> He got [ __ ]. >> He got [ __ ] I mean, he he probably.
didn't know inflation was going to be. what it was. He had no idea. He had no. idea. But I would have done a dollar. instinctually. >> Mhm. >> You know what I mean? Highball it. Jenga. What do they sell it for? [laughter] Let's go. Jenga. >> Who made Jenga? Who made Jenga? And And. what do they sell for? >> And now I'm telling you, Jenga, I'll get. you every time. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> Oh, invented by British board gaz. >> It's a great Quinton Tarantino. Oh, [ __ ] Go get it. >> It's a great Tarantino movie. Anyway, [laughter]. >> Jenga Unchained. >> No. Yeah, cut that out. >> No, [laughter] leave it in. >> Jenga Unblocked.
>> Lesie Scott in the early 1970s developed. a game for a wooden from a wooden block. stacking actively. Her family played in. Ghana, West Africa. M it's got. interesting game in London Toy Fair in. 1983. >> It originally came with mosquito nets. included in the Jenga set. [laughter]. Sold millions of copies. >> They launched at the London Toy Fair. What do we have a a toy fair still? Is. the Los Angeles toy fair still a thing? We should go. >> No, but let's see. 1986. Okay. It. brought to 96 and sold millions of.
copies worldwide. >> So, how much Let's see. How much did. Leslie Scott make from Jenga? Can we. make. >> Yeah, I want to know. How much did. Leslie Scott make from Jenga. >> Michael Scott's uh first love. How much. did she make? Five cents per every $10 in sales. So a. 20% royalty rate on the game. That's. really good. >> She once upward So how many what? >> No, no, no. It says it says uh Scott's. initial license agreement was not highly. lucrative in the beginning and she once. owed upwards of 238,000 early debt.
before it became a global phenomenon. Then I'm sure after the fact she it. worked out just fine. >> Okay. Because the super Soaker guy, the. black guy in that got stolen that got. stolen from him. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I. don't like that, you know. I don't like. I don't like it at all. >> Well, what are you going to do? >> Well, he got didn't he get some money. back from him? >> We looked that up. Remember we talked. about. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But anyone that. invents a game that's like cultural and. you know they should reap the rewards, but these gigantic companies gobble them.
up. >> Well, yeah. >> In the beginning, they're like, "Great. idea, bud. We'll give you 10 cents a. game. >> And that sounds pretty good. >> Yeah. No, it doesn't. >> No, but at the time you go, "Dad, oh my. god.". >> In 68 1968. Yeah. >> Right. >> Yeah. But right now, like what? You. invented a game. >> Yeah, I did. >> Yeah. I'm Mattel. >> Oh, hi. >> Hi. I'm Dr. Mattel. >> Well, I I'm [laughter]. Mr. Dr. Mattel. >> Hello. Hello. >> I know that you love the game. >> I love the game. >> And it's uh it's called Catch Them While. You Can. >> Catch them while you can. I love it.
>> Right. And you see the game here is laid. out very easily. Yeah. And I love the. figurines. A black guy. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. [laughter] Yeah. Yeah. And the. white police officers. >> Those are those are actually ICE. officers. >> Oh, these are ice officers. And there's. a brown guy, too. >> Yes. He's working. >> What a great game. Catch him. Yeah. Yeah. >> And they can never catch him, can they? >> They can't. No. Much faster. >> And the buildings that you have. Yeah. I. love it. They hide in the buildings and. this and that. What? >> The buildings are all owned by those. guys over there. >> Oh, the ones with the little funny hats. on. [laughter].
>> Yes. I love that. >> It's a good game. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And they're in. the sky for some reason. >> They're always up top. >> Yeah. Yeah. Clouds and they're in the. sky. >> Unless they can't be in those buildings. cuz something might happen. >> Exactly. Right out of the Exactly. Yeah. Anyway, I love the on the catch me if. you can. But anyway, is that So, um I'll. give you I will give you um $1 every And. and every um game sold. >> Done. >> Really? >> Yes. >> $1 for every game? >> That sounds incredible. Yeah, we're.
>> I made this in my garage. >> We're selling this for $100. Uh. >> $100 for for the game. >> For the game. >> Oh, >> we're charging $100. You'll get $1. >> I'm just a humble man from Mansfield, Ohio. [laughter] So, I just I think I'll. take the deal. >> You'll take the deal. >> I will. >> Okay. >> 30 30 years later, broke living in a. >> Yeah, that's what I'm saying. You You. got to go higher. >> Well, you got to get a lawyer. >> You can get 25% 50%. >> 50 They'll never do. >> 25. >> 25 will do. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> 25 I'll take it. >> 25% of every game you should sell is I. think is fair. What? I Let's You know.
what? We should invent something and see. if we can go to patent with it. I had a. I had an invention. Uh you know, it's so. funny. My wife had one today. We were on. a hike and she goes, she had like a. little sling backpack, the ones that you. have, and there was a a dude with an. umbrella to protect him from the Asian. guy, son. They don't, you know. Yeah. My. people. And she thought, wouldn't it be. cool if there was like a umbrella in. this little like sling backpack you. could use for the sun or something. changes and then folds back up into the. backpack? Okay. Don't say that out loud. [ __ ] Is that a good idea? >> Yeah, it's a good idea. You don't say.
that. >> Can I give you one idea that I never I. thought of in high school. We had in. like economics class, they were like, "Invent something.". >> Yeah. >> I played tennis like one time in high. school. I never played in gym class. >> And then every time you hit it into the. net, it bounces, right? It just will. hit, stop, and bounce. Unless you're. good and you never hit the net. But I. thought, amateurs hit the net all the. [ __ ] time. How come it just stays. there? Like, how come there's not a. quarter pipe on each side of the net? So. at least when it hits, it would roll. back some of the way to you.
>> In fact, you could invent a you could. invent like a wheeling system to kick it. back to you a little bit more. >> Yeah, but you stand there. >> Not at the net. You almost never are. that close to the net. >> Yeah, but your toes are sometimes at the. net. >> Almost never you that close to the net. And also it would only be used in. amateur practice, never for like play. >> I don't like that idea. >> cuz it's good. >> No, it's not good. >> It's very good. Because if you've ever. played tennis, you're like, "God, I got. to go.". >> Yeah, I play tennis. >> But it it would help get it halfway back. to you. I Okay. So, it hits the net and. there's a curve. >> There's a quarter pipe on each side.
>> Right. Right. And and Yeah. But but a. tennis ball bounces, >> but a lot of times it hits the net. because of the give of the net. It holds. it. Right. So, it would hold it and then. slide it right back down. >> I We'll We'll How about this? >> I want to do it. >> Let's Let's try it. I think I think it's. not going to work. >> And guess what? We can And now And now. Well, yeah. You You. >> engineering and physics wise, I don't. think it's going to work, right? Am I. back me up? >> Let's test it. Let's test it because it. might. >> Let's test it. >> Cuz how about this? You would We would. toggle with it to figure out. >> I have another idea for us,
>> please. >> Yeah. Profess I was in Chicago. >> and these are all copywritten. You can't. steal these. >> You can't steal these. All right. Professor Pizza. >> Yeah. >> wants to do a frozen pizza with us. >> Really? >> Mhm. >> Yeah. >> Interesting. >> Wait a minute. >> Yeah. >> Like a bad friend's frozen pizza. >> Yeah. With in conjunction with Professor. Pizza. >> And what is the what's the what makes. ours like unique different? What do we. do with it? >> Bugi meat, >> kimchi, stuff like that. >> Phenomenal. >> Yeah. And it's some of it's deep dish. >> I think half and half. >> Half and half. Right. And we do it on. gold belly. Start there.
>> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> That's a G. You know, can I pitch. something? Yeah. >> I don't know how hard this is to do. >> He wants to do it. >> I don't know how hard this is to do. >> But I've told you before, deep dish. isn't what we don't really eat that in. Chicago. We do when you guys are in. >> I ate it there. >> I know, but we don't. What I'm saying is. >> And so you do. >> When you live there, you just people. don't eat it that much. It's just We. usually eat thin thin crust tavern. style, which is square cut pizza. >> Detroit style. >> It's tavern style. It's style. Chicago. >> Yeah. Yeah. Detroit. >> It's ours anyway. Tavern style. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> It's tavern style.
>> Eminem has something else to say about. it. >> Eminem's wrong. >> Yeah. >> Eminem's not even from 8 Mile. He's from. Six Mile. >> Okay. >> I've been over there. >> Yeah. >> Mom's spaghetti. They don't make that on. 8 Mile. >> Okay. >> That's only on Six Mile. >> I've been there. >> Okay. >> Let's move on from. >> Half of the Pizza is tavern style thin. and half is deep dish. >> Okay. >> It's a monster mashup. It's a monster. >> It's like a Taco Bell KFC. >> Here's the problem with that if I may. >> Sure. >> You put it in the oven. How do you cook. it? >> Well, once Well, the deep dish dough is. going to be You're going to It's going. to be layered differently. It's It's You.
could do that. >> Yeah. Because by the time it comes out. of the oven, the the thin part is going. to be black. [laughter]. >> No. >> Address part. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Your yours is going. Your part's going to be black and burnt. >> Check it out. I mean, check it out. >> Yeah. >> You cook that half separately. And you. would join it with cheese. M. >> And you would join it with cheese. What's the binding agent? Cheese. So. they're half moons. >> I see what you're saying. >> So So the frozen pizza comes to your. house. >> There's a side of sauce and cheese.
>> Yep. >> Right. Yep. >> You put the whole thing in. >> Correct. >> Right. >> You cook it to a certain point. >> That's right. >> Then you pull it back out. Then you add. the sauce and the cheese and some. toppings on top of that part. >> at your leisure. >> I love that word. [laughter]. I love the phrasing of that word. Right. And you put it back in. >> Yep. >> That I can think. But we'd have to test. it. >> Bad friends mash up. We would We would. get in the kitchen and we'd have to eat. >> Can I say something else? Yeah. >> Yeah. The tennis thing. [ __ ]. [laughter].
>> It's [ __ ] It doesn't work. >> I like it. >> Yeah. Yeah. I don't like it at all. >> But the but the bad friends pizza. I. like. >> bad friends pizza. We can do the monster. mashup. We'll do. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But he really said. that. So that's something that maybe we. can talk about. >> I'm down. I would love to do that. actually because every time I go there I. eat his pizza. >> Yeah. Um can I just say um the tour with. Carlos there was no real hangup. >> really. >> And there was one thing and that's all. >> Wait a minute. Time out. Before you play. anything. >> Yeah. Before you play anything. Yeah. >> What? What? Give me your grievances. Air. out your grievances.
>> There was only one grievance. It wasn't. really a grievance. Um grief. >> is it was at the airport and you were. being. >> Andrew. You would have been on my side. >> What happened? >> Um [snorts]. >> a lady got in my. >> No, no, no, no. That's not what Can I. say? >> Well, I feel like you're not [snorts]. going to tell the truth. >> Let him finish. >> It's his birthday. >> It It's what? Whose birthday? >> McCone. >> He's gone. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> So, someone gets to pick up the. birthday. >> All right. Right. So, um that that could. quite possibly be true what you're. saying. Someone got in your way.
>> They did. >> Yeah. But then you said, "Excuse me.". >> Yeah. >> They didn't say anything. >> Yeah. >> And then you said what? >> SAY IT BACK. >> SAY IT BACK. >> YOU SAID THAT to him. No, he said it to. the lady that he said excuse me to. >> Oh, he's right. Yeah. Say it back. >> Yeah. >> Are you kidding me? >> Say it back. >> Then don't say excuse me in the first. place. >> No, cuz it's a cordial. Two people were. at fault. Who was at fault? >> She was. She was in my way. I'm. >> But that's that's arguable. >> She was in your way while you're. walking. >> Yeah. She like did a cross like a like a.
45. >> What was the tone? It What are your. excuse me? >> All right. So, all right. I'm walking. >> Let's hear it. Yeah, let's hear it. The. excuse me was fine. It was excuse me. It. was very. >> No, the excuse me was perfect. >> Thank you. >> Yeah, it was a perfect excuse me. And in. my mind, I'm like what a mindful. thoughtful person. [laughter]. >> Right. >> Regardless of who was at fault, right? >> That's a sweet very traditional way of. saying I'm sorry, my bad or whatever. >> Excuse me. >> Right. >> Then she didn't say anything.
>> Right. And then what did you say? >> Say it back. >> That's not how you said it. >> That's how I said. >> that. There's no way that. >> say it as if she's walking away. Go. >> say it back. Yeah, >> that's how that's how he said it. >> He's right. Yeah. Say it back. When I. hold the door for someone, they don't. say thank you. [ __ ] I go, you're. welcome. >> You're welcome. Bobby would be mad at. you on the road. >> I would be mad at you on the road for. that. >> You don't get to tell me what to do. >> You specifically know, but you work. [laughter] for me. >> So, whatever he does, right, is a. reflection on. >> you. Unless she has no idea you're. together. Cuz you could go, I don't know.
that weirdo. Someone goes, "This [ __ ]. guy go, I know he's a piece of shit.". >> Listen, I don't have any grievances. I. thought that everything was actually. perfect. meal was good. Yeah. He didn't invite. any strangers, you know, I mean, into. dinner. >> How was You got up on stage now. >> The 12 minutes. >> Oh, yeah. How much did 6 minutes? >> Six. >> Let me But it. >> was an eternity for. >> But I'm going to say this. >> Very good. >> Really? >> I thought for a guy that doesn't do. standup and and to stay on stage for six.
minutes in front of that many people. >> Is a big deal. We got to get you on now. >> What? >> What venue are we watching? Uh, Minneapolis. The Orfium. >> Yeah, the Orphium. >> We're gonna get him on Kill Tony now. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> Yeah. I'm serious. You should go do Kill. Tony. >> Now, you did open in uh which All right. So, I'm just going to say this. >> Can we see? >> Well, before we even see in Chicago, the Live Nation rep walked up to me and. goes, "Interesting." I go, "Why?" We. opened with Israel.
>> Okay. Yeah, >> it's topical. >> Yeah, I know. But it was like. >> I said, "That's where I got my hair. done." Yeah, people. >> It was cheap. >> Yeah, >> kind of a joke. >> It's funny. I have to survive up there. I'm not a comedian. >> Yeah, he's trying. He's swinging. He has. to swing. He's got to swing. >> Thank you. >> Do you want to play his or. >> I want to see I want to see some of it. Yeah, for sure. I mean, we could watch. the whole thing. >> I do like your black people, though. >> Hell yeah. Hell yeah.
>> They're They're different from the ones. in Texas and California, though. I. noticed they're not all like Anthony. Edwards. >> Anthony Edwards is the ones I expect. Um, they're more like the I am the. captain now kind of. >> Wait, stop. >> Huge pop. >> Stop. >> That's awesome. >> Wait, wait, stop. Stop. >> Stop. Stop for a second. >> That's so good. Can I see? >> No. No. Hold on. >> Wait. Let me play that again.
>> I'm telling you right now. >> That's so good. YOU GUYS ADDED YOU GUYS. ADDED [screaming] LAUGHS TO IT. I SWEAR. TO GOD YOU DID. YOU ADDED LAUGHS TO IT. THERE'S NO WAY THAT WAS A POP LIKE THAT. >> PLAY IT AGAIN. Let me [laughter] hear it. again. >> Wait, >> what do you mean added laugh? >> Dude, there's a added track. There's no. way it's got a pop footage of the show. >> I WAS THERE. SEE WHERE THE DARKNESS IS? I'M STANDING IN THAT DARKNESS. >> WELL, probably cuz he's ripping. Let me. see. Say it again. Do it again. >> In California, though, I noticed they're. not all like Anthony Edwards.
That's a good pop. >> Anthony Edwards is the ones I expect. Um, they're more like the I am the. captain now kind of. [laughter]. [applause]. >> Dude, you ripped. dude. >> Did you get laughs that loud? >> No. No. No. Dude, he never got an. applause break. >> It [laughter] sounded like. >> he never got an applause break. >> Bro in the pudding. I was going to say,
>> did you edit it? >> Wins. Oh, the Oxford shirt that I have. almost did went to the golden Gallao. Awards, right? But I still wear it and. it looks smooth at night. In fact, I. used it um I wore it um with some. slacks, right? Tucked it in with a belt. and I went and saw the movie Obsession. >> Oo, a little dress. >> Yeah. Yeah. Quint is it's stylish and. people go, "Oh my god, this guy is, you. know, I mean, high level." Well, because. Quint's European linen pants and shirts.
are perfect warm weather upgrades. >> Say that again. I love that. >> Well, they're European linen. >> Oh, l Oh, European. >> European leather is [laughter] European. linen is nice. Uh, you add it to your. rotation. And by the way, it starts at. just $34. Their tees are soft, easy to. wear. I wear them all the time. I do. love them very much. Lightweight cotton. sweaters are perfect for cooler summer. nights. >> Everything. >> Everything. Say it. >> Everything at Quinc is priced 50 to 80%. less than similar brands. >> That's insane. You're going to get so. much quality for a more affordable. price. And it's not cheap. I don't like.
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returns. quint.com/badfriends. >> Hello, wild one. >> There's the wild one. Wild one. Wild. one. Wild one. Wild one. >> Whoa. Look at those pants. >> Oh, dude. You got a shirt with rats on. it, dude. >> Yeah. >> Sit down, you [ __ ] homeless chic. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> We're in the presence of a movie star. John Cena. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. >> The star of the new movie Little Brother.
with John Cena is here. Him and John. share the screen. >> I saw the poster. >> Proving I watched the movie. >> They sent it to you. >> I have it on my Netflix. I watched it. >> Oh, baby. I love to hear it. >> Homework. I'm never going to see it. >> Okay. Weird start. [laughter]. >> No. No. >> Weird start. I'm going to see it. I'm. going to see it. You promise? >> Me and Bobby almost did a Comedy Central. show together. Yeah, we did. Yeah. Back. in the good OLD. >> OH MY GOD, DUDE. >> BACK IN THE GOOD OLD DAYS. >> What was that called?
>> I didn't say anything bad. It was called. the Bobby Lee Bonenza. >> Wow. >> Wow. >> And he played You played a sue chef. It was the predecessor to Chef. >> Yeah. >> And what were you? >> Um I was a very racist character of a. >> You played me. >> like a [ __ ]. >> [ __ ] Okay, buddy. like a Al Jolson. kind of a [laughter] thing. >> Okay. >> Yeah. Everyone Yeah. >> Literally wasn't. >> It was like a blast. >> You were my best friend.
[laughter]. >> All right. You were literally my best. friend. You're. >> still my best friend. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And that's what it. was. There was no [ __ ]. >> It was a bit, you know, it didn't age. well. Let me put it that way. >> It never got picked up. >> Give me Give [laughter] me one of the. lines. >> It never got picked up. Give me. >> the one of the lines. >> YOU WILL YOUR SHOE SHINE, BOSS. >> YEAH. [laughter] CUZ MY SHOES WERE. DIRTY. His shoes were dirty in his. defense. >> No, those No, he was just like a regular. guy. >> Oh, soup's ready, bro. >> NO, THAT'S [laughter] THAT'S NOT WHAT IT. >> And when we And when we shot the pilot,
we were having a ball. >> It was a good time. >> Yeah. >> No, he cast Donald Glover instead of me. >> No, I didn't cast Donald Glover. >> Word around the campfire. >> Smart move. Yeah. [laughter]. >> Hey, if you want if you want a good. career decision, you're going to cast. Donald Glover. >> Donald Glover. >> You know, there's a couple of things. that you brought that up before in front. of me. Bobby, I'm trying to GIVE THE AUDIENCE. >> I UNDERSTAND. >> THE AUDIENCE NEEDS CONTEXT for our. friendship. >> When you look at me like that, I feel. like you're look at me like to calm. down. >> No, go ahead.
>> Okay. I. >> You're very sweet to me in the. beginning. You took me out to dinner at. the farmers market. >> Yeah. And we used to go to You used to. have those great parties. >> He still has great parties. >> Block party. >> He's a big party guy. >> Why are you making it weird? >> Yeah. Weird. I I know. But there was. there was. >> I think it's the [ __ ]. >> I understand that, but there was a. 20-year uh gap between parties. Wait a. minute. You took me to dinner when I was. a very young kid. >> Treated you like. >> a king. >> A king, right? >> Didn't cast me in the show, but that's. okay. >> Okay. See, there's these little.
[laughter] tiny That's what it is with. this guy. With this guy, he has he has. he's like a Korean. >> You're very Korean. >> Yeah. No, you have little like. resentments that build cuz this business. business is hard and it comes out in. weird ways, right? And this is the way. it comes out with him, RIGHT? [laughter]. HE HAS ANOTHER one about resentment. >> Yeah. Yeah. Holding on to resentment. about how he's perceived this, which is. [ __ ] [ __ ] that he auditioned for. Matt TV. He didn't get it and he thought.
that I treated him differently after. that he didn't get it. >> Is that true? >> No. >> He got a little Hollywood. >> Is any of it not true? >> I don't know what he's talking about. >> Let's just say um the text, the. responses, they didn't come back. Oh, brother. >> Yeah, but I don't text anybody. He. doesn't. >> No, no, no, no, no. There was the There. was texts were flowing. >> I didn't get on season 14 of Matt TV. Known as the best season, >> best season of last season. >> It was It was the one It was the year. that buried.
>> So good. >> That was the year that it buried the. show. [laughter]. >> I think it got cancelled. That was the. last season. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You. know, and that's God's work cuz look at. your career now. >> Yeah. >> RIGHT. SO, [ __ ] YOU. [laughter]. >> It is true. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> It worked out for the better. >> [ __ ] you, dude. Yeah. [screaming]. >> He told me crazy stories back in the. day. >> No. Yeah. You can't say them. >> Bonus story. He told me he tried to quit. drugs cold turkey on the show. >> Yes. >> And weird [ __ ] ooze started coming. >> Yeah. I [ __ ] my pants and when I played.
Connie Chong. Yes. >> And our [laughter] Spears was going damn. it smells like. >> Yeah. So that is a true. [laughter]. >> It's not funny. >> It's very funny. >> You told that to me I was like, "Hey, isn't that funny?". >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Years ago I know. I. something happened where I was detoxing. off of Vicodin, >> right? >> Oh, you were Vicodin was your thing. >> Yeah. Yeah, that's an opiate. Right. Yeah. You don't want to get. >> two days before I did Connie Chung, right? The show. >> quit cold turkey. >> Yeah. The show goes you're you got to. get off the drugs. >> Taper though. >> No, I didn't know anything about it. So.
I So on. >> how old were you at the time? >> [ __ ] I was 32. >> Okay. So you're on Matt TV. You get Matt. TV. But you were before Matt TV. You. were. >> second season. You weren't on T. television before this. >> I did commercials, >> but like you were. >> and I had done I had done I also had. done Harelon Kumar. >> I thought he was gonna say heroin. So. Harland Kumar. >> So this was big for you. >> to be on that TV. >> Yeah, it was pretty big. >> So the pressure is immense. You're. you're going down to LA. You're getting.
pills. >> Yeah. Yeah. No. >> And you're having a good time. You. [laughter] told me. >> So where no where I got where I got the. where I got No. No. No. There was a. Second City guy, right, who had. >> everything. He had um Vicodin for. horses. >> Oh, Jesus Christ. >> They were like these big blue They were. big blue Vikodin pill. >> He had Vicodin and Ivormectin. He had. both. >> It was something. It was a specific big. blue pill. >> See, this is a good story, >> right? That he would because a lot of.
the cast members was from Second City. He [laughter] would give me these big I. would. spend all my money on these big blue. Viking and pills and he um. he knew writers and cast members, right? He would go be backstage. >> They're like, "Stop selling this [ __ ] to. Bobby.". >> No, no, no. It was secret, right? So, I. would give him like three or four grand. That's why Ari. >> Yeah. That's why Ari Shafir beat me up. because one time I asked Ari for four. grand cuz I I was on it mad and I had no.
money left. >> You asked He beat you up because you. [laughter]. >> That's not what the context of that is. >> Ari the real cont Yeah. The real. >> I can imagine his like arms swing. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He beat me up at the. end of the day. >> Is that Hong Kong? >> No. [laughter]. >> That's Do you have any qualms with this. Mr. Andre? >> No. We've actually got along [laughter]. great. There's no. >> We've actually called each other and. [laughter] we we talked about how much. we love taking this out. We really Yeah.
Yeah. Because you seem to always have. like a little thing with me. >> But wait, maybe it's you. >> I don't think it's me. >> You think it's him? >> I don't have a thing with anyone else in. the comedy community. [laughter]. >> I get along with everybody. When we were. at that Netflix brunch, >> Yeah. >> Santino goes, "You talk to everybody. There's people here not so fun. You talk. to everybody. You got something." I go, "Well, >> there's one guy here. You know, we kind. of ruffle [laughter] each other.". >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I talked to everybody. too. >> on that Netflix lunch. >> Yeah, that's not what most people say. >> I talked to Odin Kirk. I talked to John. Stewart. I talked to.
>> Okay, you can name a few. >> Okay, I named a few. [laughter]. >> FYI, I was very social. So So. >> I was very social. >> So So Paul Shear selling you the pills. and then Ari [laughter] wasn't Paul. Shear. >> Why does Ari did Ari punch Why did Ari. throw a punch at you? Okay, this is all. old news if I rehash. >> I love you guys have been a guest on. your show and all we do we spend the. time talking about Bobby the whole time. It's like talk about your movie. How was. the movie? [laughter]. >> She's a movie star now, dude. >> Yeah, this is kind of like I did one movie.
>> It's pretty big. [laughter]. >> Netflix is top. It's going to be the top. movie on Netflix. >> Top movie on the. >> 100%. >> You think so? >> There's no doubt in my mind. >> I'm flattered by that. I hope so. I hope. so. When you did the when you did the. scene at the golf course naked, you had. your [ __ ] out, huh? >> Yeah, they give you a little uh. >> No, no, the mkin. >> They give you a little bag, but if it. flew off. >> I wanted you to be butt naked for that. cuz I knew I was You had fun. Yeah. >> Well, you know, I try to keep it on. >> Yeah, >> but it it the thing the thing, you know, with the water it slips off,
>> John, good guy, dude. >> Good guy. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He's a he's a ace. >> He is an ace. >> Sweet guy. Total pro. Like. >> nice guy. 100%. >> like shows up early, always prepared. >> Yeah. >> Just like a total pro. Like WWE is. actually, in my opinion, the greatest. acting school you could ever go to. >> We've seen it work. >> Well, think about it. They have to have.
a monologue that they got that afternoon. on the plane. They have to deliver. something out of their mouth that's five. pages long. uh in front of 40,000 people. >> They can improvise. >> Yeah, but I I mean. >> it's not like it's not an Aaron Sorcin. project where you have to do it word by. word. >> Yeah, but he's saying you have. >> I'm making a larger point. I'm making a. large [laughter]. >> Sure. That's besides the I'm just saying. what they have to do. They had to go to. Dublin, you know, one night, deliver a.
monologue that's exposition about the. next fight in De Moines that the. audience isn't even connected to. And. then another wrestler comes out and. like, you know, they do John Wick stunts. for like 45 minutes. Then they got to. deliver more exposition about it's like. if you could go through that for. [snorts] as many years as he went. through it, a movie is like nothing. Like, you know what I mean? >> [ __ ] right? [laughter]. It's like. >> he's like do it again. That's fine. Yeah, we can take it again. [ __ ] that. >> Another take not in front of 40,000.
>> I mean that's why if you like you know. what's so funny about that when you when. I watch the Hogan documentary it it. showed many reasons why he gained. popularity Hulk Hogan but like one of. them also was his delivery his character. delivery on those pops whatever they. call them like the promo pops. >> He was flawless. like he wouldn't miss. and they got it so tight, so good and he. was then they watched guys you watched. guys they did out takes on that. It was. wild to watch because people get.
defeated. >> like if they [ __ ] up they're like [ __ ]. do it again and they would do it again. and you watch these guys like lose the. character. >> and then they have to take it was kind. of powerful to watch. So the more people. that could stay in it like what you're. saying that's how they got like it was. so organic. Very there's very few guys. willing to get that jacked and do that. much. wrestling and stunt work and also have. to deliver pages and pages of dialogue.
and monologues like in an instant. >> and also committing to the character. >> and commit to the charact. story line and in front of 50,000 people. impossibly hard. So it's like you only. get one of those guys a generation. It's. like Hulk Hogan is like the guy for 10. 20 years. Then you get Dwayne the Rock. Johnson for another 10 20 years. Then. you get John Yes. >> for another. >> 20 years. Who's next? >> I I don't know. Cody Rhodess. Who? >> Yeah. He seems like the guy.
>> He's the best. I just did Street Fighter. with him. He's the best. >> He's the guy that everyone I think has. pinned to be the guy. >> He's the And his dad was Dusty Rhodess. and his and his brother's Gold Dust. >> Yeah, Gold Dust. >> Gold Dust. And you know, so I just I. last year I got to work with John all. summer and then I went to Australia and. did Street Fighter with with uh Cody. It's like I love working with wrest. And. I grew up I grew up with Hulk Hogan. Macho Man Junkyard Dog sheets on my bed.
>> So it's like working with. >> John Tonga the Kid. Yeah. This was shot. in New York and I don't know Tonga the. Kid. >> This is Sorry. This New Jersey. >> Every time I bring up Tonga the Kid, knows. >> this is New Jersey. >> You don't know Tonka the Kid? >> This is before my time. >> Okay. >> Well, let me tell you something. >> You're much older than me. >> We're on his land right now. [laughter]. >> We're on his Do we do a We should do an. acknowledgement if we. >> Do we do a sacred land acknowledgement? >> We're on Bobby's land. >> Okay. I don't feel comfortable.
>> All right. >> I don't feel comfortable at an AAPI. panel. >> I'm Polynesian. [laughter]. >> I'm polyamorous. >> Yeah. Yeah. I haven't told my wife, but I'm Paul. >> Is Tonga still alive? >> My god, I hope so. >> A lot of these guys are not alive. It's. like they're big guys. They did a lot of. crazy steroids and drugs. >> He's alive. Good for him. >> Tonga. Big fan. Samu. >> Sam Fatu. I'm going I'm going to Top. Golf tonight. >> Why? >> I'm Korean. >> Yeah. >> Oh, smart. Yeah. >> I'm fully I'm fully getting I'm fully.
getting plastic surgery to become. Korean. >> Yeah. I can't wait. >> Yeah. >> See, most of us are turning Chinese. That's the new trend. me. I'm turning. Chinese. >> Not me. >> Yeah. >> What were you going to say? Am I what? >> Were you serious when you wanted to You. said you texted me. You go, "You want to. go on tour together?". >> Yeah. It's [ __ ] serious. >> Do it. >> I love you, man. You're [ __ ] funny. >> I would do a show with. >> You gave me one of the best pieces of. advice one time. You said, >> "Make them laugh before your first joke. on your walk to the stage.". >> You gave me that advice very young, and. I I was like, "That's the [ __ ] best.".
because it shakes off the jitters so. that that first like taking the mic out. of the stand, all that [ __ ] isn't. awkward. So, I always I'll sneak up. behind the audience and do a bunch of. [ __ ] goofy ass Andy Kaufman [ __ ] So, >> yeah. >> Yeah. I love you, man. >> It's It's um. >> It's smart because then once you do. start talking, they don't laugh. So, I. [laughter] think that's a good. >> It's a very good one. >> Well, here's another note though. >> I also I want to steal your material. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> On tour. >> All right. Yeah, do it. I'll do yours.
But honestly, you can do we should do on. Halloween on Halloween. That's I gave. you full permission to do the frown. base. I don't know. What am I? >> Yeah. Here's another is there's a. difference between writing funny and. being funny. >> You understand what I mean? >> Oh, yeah. >> Yeah. So, a lot of new comics will just. memorize whatever they wrote. >> Hey girl. >> Hey girl. Hi. >> Being funny. >> Yeah. Shut [laughter] the [ __ ] UP. >> I'M NOT GAY. SOME people are funny, some.
people right. >> Okay, dude. >> Spill that tea, [laughter] girl. >> Tell us. Go off, queen. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> I really want I want your belly back. >> No, >> I know you're trying to do the Kumo. thing. You're probably doing peptides. >> He's getting jacked. >> Don't. Please don't. >> Remember Australia? >> You with that pop belly when you really. had the dad bod. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> Every before you told a joke, I was. laughing. >> Okay. Cuz [laughter] you look you looked. like human comedy.
>> Why are in this Bad Friends circular. thing, why is it a a cartoon of you with. a Chuco community leader? [laughter]. >> That's Paul Rodriguez. >> Yeah, that's a young. >> Yeah. Yeah. I replaced Paul. You didn't. know that? Yeah. Yeah. >> Got it. Got it. Got it. Got it. Got it. [laughter]. >> Bad is really with him and Paul. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. The original. >> Yeah. I look like like a Cheich Marin. like Yeah. [laughter]. >> Yeah. >> We're going to podcast. But why do I. look like Salvador Dolly in this one? >> You have a Dolly style.
>> You think I have a Dolly style? >> You have a very Dolly bite. >> Hey, I liked when you guys popped up on. Happy Gilmore. That made me happy. >> Oh, that's cool. You know what? I'll be. honest with you. >> Huge for us. >> as a as a comic. I have to say. >> it was awesome. >> I think you're very funny. You You're. just You're You have my. >> I love you, bro. >> No, no. You have my kind of energy. >> I. >> I think we're similar. the other day. when you ever come by the house and. behind me when I see you in years and. you came up from behind me took my shirt. and wrapped it over my head. >> Yeah. >> You know what I mean? And I haven't seen. you in years. Right. That's my kind of.
energy. >> I know. [laughter] But you got very shy. >> What? >> You got shy. >> I got shy. Yeah. Yeah. Because I'm more. corporate. [laughter]. >> I'm more corporate and I watch what I. say. Okay. >> Corporate big corporate fans. >> I'm corporate. Yeah. Have you ever done. a corporate gig? I've never done one. >> I've never once asked been asked. When I. hear comics like I had to do a corporate. gig once and yada yada yada I'm like how. how did that not once. why would a single corporation look at. us and ask us.
>> but here's another reason. >> shaloo or something [laughter]. >> a compliment. >> is you've always even as a youngster. right has always been you've always been. fashionable. >> you think so. >> oh yeah yeah I've always yeah I've. always thought to myself Eric Andre is. fashionable. >> have you ever said it. >> I never said it to you, but I always. felt it like you're cool. >> Thanks, man. >> Yeah. Dresswise. Yeah. >> Santino's like, "Do you want me to leave. you two or?". >> I couldn't care less. [laughter]. >> He doesn't care. No, no, no. He doesn't.
care. >> We were going to do a movie together. >> Yeah. >> Wow. >> What happened? >> We were going to do something together. [laughter]. We're going to do something together one. day. >> We were going to do a movie together. >> Yeah. Yeah. What happened? It It went by. the wayside. >> You got You got a little sunburnt. >> I did. >> Yeah. >> Today? >> Yeah. >> Really? Is it in my face? You got a. little [ __ ]. >> I got a little color. >> You got Well, it's a little red. You. golfed it? >> No, >> you got to do SPF, dude. You're going to. kill yourself. >> I'm doing SPF, bud. >> Yeah, >> I'm doing it. >> I'm not I'm not joking. >> Look, Blue Lizard. Look up Blue Lizard.
>> I I hope [clears throat] I hope you're. getting moles checked and all that. stuff. >> I'm getting it checked. I got I already. got two. >> Yeah, cuz you're out golf. I know you're. always out golfing and you're you're not. you're careless. >> Blue Lizard, dude. >> You can look up whatever you want. I'm. talking I want to use that. Is that a. good. >> I love Blue Liz. >> Okay, good. >> Okay. Well, you're taking it in a weird. direction. [laughter]. >> Brother, I like Blue Lizard. Do you use. facial creams at night? >> No. No. >> Like when you. >> when I was in Korea. >> Yeah. >> All my platonic gal pals were like, "Go.
in every. >> store and buy me every lotion." And I. came back. It looked like I was like. smuggling lotions into. >> You do have the best [ __ ] and and. um. >> what. >> there's a. >> a beautiful people [laughter]. >> there's a new Korean. >> what are you looking at. >> I don't know where it is that's why. there's a new Korean store that just. opened for those face products right it. was like a two-mile line. >> yeah yeah and they're using like snail.
>> yeah look it up new Korean two-mile Yeah. >> this is a real this is a real pitch and. you're going to think I'm joking. >> and I don't know how good is your Korean. Wait, it's called Olive Young. That's. what it's called. All of Young. >> Can you speak. >> fluently? Why don't we pitch a super. duper lowbudget wacky comedy show to. Korean television. >> and speak only in Korean? >> Yeah, I can be the I can play the dumb. American and you give me like.
>> Yeah, I literally You probably know more. Korean than I do. [laughter]. >> That's probably. >> That's how little I know. Yeah. I know. that's all I can count to. >> No, he can say that's four. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I can say go to I can say. certain things. Hako is a school. [laughter]. >> Donell Rawlings. And I'm not making this. up. Fluent. >> fluent Korean. And I. >> He knows more than he can dunk my body. He knows more than I do. >> Well, cuz he hates me.
>> It's mindblowing. He hates you. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> Since when? Why? >> He just has a He has a little thing with. me. >> You told me no comedians hate you at the. Netflix comedy brunch. He wasn't there. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Donald was there. >> You asked Donald. >> So anyway, Olive Young is a mile long. I. want to go in there. >> Let's go. >> Yeah, let's go. >> Where is it? >> Yeah. Where is Olive Young? >> Pasadena. >> Pasadena. >> So there's a there's a there's a long. line. Can't you call and say I'm Bobby. Lee? And. >> it's temporarily closed. >> All right. Is it. >> You can call and say I'm Bobby Lee and. they'll cut you to the front line.
>> Yeah. They'll get you in there, Bob. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> Wait, click on the Is it closed? Is that. true? >> No. Century City was. >> You know, I thought that was your mom. the whole time. That really tripped me. out. This is why I don't like this chair. that much cuz I can't. >> First of all, come on. >> No, no, no. We have to. >> That's crazy. >> We have to for the sake of No, it's for. the sake of the show. >> Jack Black's out there. >> Jack Black. Those chairs have been sat. in by legends. [laughter]. >> Merl Haggard. >> Merl Haggard. Mortz. >> Mortz Saul. >> Yeah. >> Uh Shecky Green. >> That's not true. All of them.
>> Oh yeah. Mort Saul. >> Mortz. There's no. >> red skeleton. Skeleton. >> Red skeleton. [laughter]. >> Red skeleton. >> Caesar. >> Flip Wilson. >> Uhhuh. >> Uh-huh. We've had black. Did you do this. cat skills? >> We've had blacks. We've had some. Yeah. From. >> Have you had blacks? >> Yeah. Couple. >> Do the blacks go crazy when they were in. here. >> Blacks love this show. >> They love it. They love. >> the blacks. Just. >> The blacks love this show, baby. [laughter]. >> Your laugh is demonic. >> I love hog wild.
hog wild. Yeah. So, can you tell us about the. movie? >> Okay. So, the movie [laughter]. I play I play um Cena's little brother. >> Okay. >> So, he like did like a uh you know uh. >> genetic testing. >> No, no, no, no. It's not it's not um. what is that? Junior twins. >> 23 and me. It was like not biological. So, he like. >> 30 years ago when he was in high school. and I was 10, he did like a program the. big brother.
>> Oh, big brother. Oh, I like it. Where he. like adopt you know, adopted me for a. few weekends and it was he just did it. for like it looked good on his resume. for college, right? >> But for me, you know, this abandoned. lifealtering, you know, 10-year-old, it. was lifealtering. >> Yeah. >> Then I get in this horrible car. accident. >> He gets a call from the hospital like, "Oh, your brother's in the hospital. He. has a biological brother." So he's like, "Shit." So he runs to the hospital with. his wife. He opens the curtain and it's. me. He hasn't seen me since I was 10. So. it's just me. I'm all [ __ ] up. I'm in. the medical halo. Like blood coming out.
of my mouth. Yeah. >> And they're like, "Who the [ __ ] is. this?" And they're like, "Holy [ __ ]. I think that's my little brother from. the the program that I did, but I. haven't seen this guy in 30 years, and I. only hung out with him for a few. >> few weekends when we were kids." Yeah. And then I slowly, it's like a what. about Bob meets the movie Parasite. I. slowly like like the wife kind of. starts, you know, she's enchanted by me. The kids love me. His brother loves me. Everyone at work loves me. He's trying.
to be a real estate agent on this. reality TV show and he almost gets like. kicked off the show, but they love me so. much they want not only him back, but. they want So I like drive him nuts. >> That's it. I want people to watch it. So. that's You know what I mean? That's. great premise. >> This movie is on Netflix. Go watch. Little Brother. Also, Eric is on the. very first episode of the Bad Game Show. >> Yes. >> We You're episode number one. Episode. number one. >> All right, we got to we got to go. Um, >> can you look in the camera and say thank. you for being a bad friend, please? >> Thank you for being a bad friend.
>> Yes. Woo!
