Egg Roll Takes a Ride | Ep 302 Bad Friends

Happy New Year bad friends. Well, 2026 I. got a couple of shows I'm going to be. doing Windsor, Ontario, Canada January. 16th. Right after that, I'm in. Bethlehem, PA. Come out. Also, Hanover, Maryland. Then I'm in Atlantic City. Then down by San Diego, Bobby's. hometown, Valley Center, which is inland. a little bit by San Diego. Then I'm in. Canyonville, Oregon, and then Bob and I. are doing a show in Lincoln, California. >> Yeah, Lincoln. >> Bad Friends live over in Thunder Valley. Casino up there by Sacramento. Then I'm. doing the Win Casino in Las Vegas and.

finally the Little Rody Fest out in. Providence, Rhode Island in March. Go to. Andrewsantino.com for those tickets. Andrewsantino.com. You two are bad friends. Who are these. two idiots? White dude and Asian dude. You two are disgusting. You two are something. >> We're bad friends. Your mom fell and you. didn't help her, Rudy said. What? >> Rudy said you didn't help your mom and. you. >> Because she was next to her. It's her your mom. >> I know. I understand that, but when your. mom falls, everyone knows this rule.

When your mom falls, whoever's the. closest picks her up. >> [laughter]. >> Everyone knows that. >> That sounds like a good rule. >> Yeah, yeah. She fell over and before I. could respond, Jules was already picking. her up. And and and also it's like when you're. falling off of a chair, >> [snorts]. >> dude. It's embarrassing. >> Yeah, it's what's going on. Well, when. you reach a certain age, you're going to. fall. And your mom fell while we were in. Phoenix and and I felt. a little bad. Why? Because it's sad when old people fall. It is fall. Cuz they said it.

>> [laughter]. >> It's fall. It's winter. It is a. It is a fall. >> [laughter]. >> No, she fell over and I saw Jules do the. movement of picking her up, so I didn't. bother. But Jules did Jules did the fake. where you're like, oh oh oh, but you. didn't really she didn't really No, she. did. Oh, really? >> Yeah, she's a caring person. She is? >> And then my mom goes, "I like her." Yeah. Yeah, yeah. We had a great time in Phoenix. We were.

opening for Shane Gillis. Amen. >> who probably once again cracked a record. of ticket sales out there in Phoenix. The guy. >> incredible. 20,000 something like that. >> Normand, you, me, McCusker. Nate. >> What a lineup. It was an unbelievable. lineup. >> guy. >> [laughter]. >> Nate. Nate. Yeah, same Nate. He's awesome. When I was on stage, I was just like, "Round of applause for Santino, McCusker, Normand.". I forgot cuz I forgot that black guy's. name. >> [laughter]. >> Did you really? >> I would Yeah, I was going to say black. guy, but I.

in front of 18,000 people, I don't. think. You're just so calm up there. and in control. You have to be. Yeah, yeah. I think if. you go up there and you show any. semblance of like nerves, I was more. nervous yesterday for the Special. Olympics. Oh, dude. Bro. Let me say something. about that. What's so funny? You're a great catcher. >> [laughter]. >> You were a really good catcher. >> Yeah, yeah. I'm a good catcher, dude. I. dude, no. And he was throwing it back. with like some heat on it. >> Yeah, yeah, yeah. >> It was pretty good. >> face, he was like No, he was genuinely. in there. I'm a little style, dude. Yeah, dude.

>> I'm a little Shohei, dude. >> You're Well, they're two different guys, but you have. >> [laughter]. >> That's Shohei Yamamoto. Yeah. It can be. No, dude. I Yeah, I have those Asian. baseball skills. >> You really do. Yeah, yeah. >> It's like It's in your blood. I can tell. the way you set up to the ball, the way. you throw. >> Yeah. I didn't want to back cuz I didn't. want to like bury Bill Burr. Yeah. Oh. Yeah, you didn't want to say. >> Cuz Kreischer and Burke showed up. Let me Can I just say something about. the Special Olympics thing event you. did? >> Yeah. I was I felt I was sitting there in the. stands watching you coach them. Mhm.

I was like, and then it's your event and. I was like, "What a good guy he is.". You're a really good guy. I just It was. No, no. You're a good person, dude. >> It was fun, man. Yeah. >> it's a rad thing to do. >> For you to take your day out like that. and and get everyone to go. Kreischer was there doing the. announcing. >> Nick was killing it. He was killing it. And I will say and shout out to the. people that showed up and and Frankie. Quiñones came as Creeper. As Creeper Cholo Fit. Did you Were you. there? No, where was he? >> Oh, bro. It was so sick. He came later.

cuz he had something to do in earlier in. the day, but. >> Okay, I missed him. And Creeper showed. up and he was like he was like walking. up to the mound. HE'S LIKE, "HEY, BRO. PITCH. I'M A PITCHER." AND HE WAS he was. throwing pitches and he was dancing like. robot in between pitches. >> Oh, he dude. He's one of the nicest. guys, funniest dude. I love Frankie. >> him is so so dope. And and then he went. up to everybody as Creeper and like took. photos and was talking to them and. stuff. Yeah. >> It was dude, it was such a fun. >> He's a good dude. >> a super fun day. >> Yeah. But did just the. um. that you do you do care and I um Oh,

yeah. >> to get involved. I I I got to do a. charity. I think we should we should do. more. >> No, I want to find my own charity. What. do I do? What charity would need Who needs the. most money? Yeah, I just want to be able. to participate here. You know we you know what we should do? We should do Big Brother. Where we like cuz we don't have kids, so. we should like adopt You know you like. Big Brother like you take them on the. weekend to do cool [ __ ] Young kids. without. >> times? Huh? How many times do you do it? It depends on the person. It depends on. the person. Every weekend? That's not.

every weekend. It I could. >> a commitment for a few years. It is. Until they Can we choose Can we choose. the kid or no? You're usually assigned. >> You spin a wheel. Really? >> And then click click click. OH, PUERTO RICAN. FLIM FLAM FLIM FLAM. OH, THAT'S COOL. Puerto Rico. >> Yeah. I think it's awesome. And you and. you take them out and you kick it with. them. You take them to go eat food, to. play video games. Like dude, we are big. kids, you and I. We're essentially just. big kids. >> doing Big Brother. I think it's huge. >> Yeah. What.

Do I get a weekend alone? You take the kid You take the young. >> No, because what I'm going to spoil the. [ __ ] out of the kid. I know. Well, no, no. They tell They do tell you you got. to be careful with that. Why? They do a. research on the people, you know, and. back on background checks and all of. that. >> Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're the foreigner. Who are you. talking to? >> talking to? Who you talking. >> no criminal history. I had I I have no. criminal history. >> had one for a long time. So I We would. take her I mean, it was Big. Yeah, yeah. Do the same with girls. Mhm. And we would take them Disneyland and.

things like that. >> Yeah, so if I took. our little brother our little brother. >> right? To Disneyland, the the foundation. would be like, "Nah.". >> No, no, no. It's all good, but there but. there I think there's. >> do the VIP thing that you like to do. I'm doing the VIP. >> [laughter]. >> Yeah, yeah, yeah. Lightsabers, the whole. thing. You know the lightsaber? You get three. of them. I do think that's the move. Yeah. Like you break all those rules and. give them a magical day. I think Big. Brother Big Sister's rad. We should. Yeah. Um no, we should do it. I got you. a little gift, by the way. This is from. my friends. Okay.

My friends at at Bettinardi, the putter. guys the putter company that I love. They They made you custom chopsticks. Look at how sick they are. >> Are you being real? 100%. Take them out. Look at how sick those things are. These. are so sick, dude. And they're like high. quality. I think you'd like the purple, right? I. do. They're a little heavy, though. Yeah, but heavy is good. >> Yeah, heavy is good. Mhm. Smooth, baby. They look so natural in there. >> really mine? [laughter] Yeah, they're. made for you. Okay. Thank you. Custom. The leather You can smell the leather. Love the smell of leather.

>> Yeah, I really do. And then it says B on it. Is that That's. B for Bobby. >> No. Yeah. Are you being real? That's a That's your. name. Yeah. Wow. Thank you so much. That's going to be there for 6 months. >> [laughter]. >> At least. One of the guys will take it home. Yeah. They'll take some of the scraps. Are you. drinking coffee right now? It's 8:00. p.m. Yeah. What's going on? Are you got. a set tonight? No. So you want you do cuz you I go down to. the hallway I go down to the uh lobby at. Phoenix to go get the car. He's already.

down there. He's cruising, but he's wide. awake. And I was like, "Oh, someone's. Someone's nice and awake." He's like, "I. never went to bed.". I do I didn't sleep I I'm not kidding. you like 4 days in a row. I would get like a couple hours, but. it's like not you're not dreaming. You're just laying there, right? And you're having horrific. thoughts. Like what? Like drowning, you know, on. fire, all that stuff. You know what I. mean? That's not normal. Yes, [laughter]. it is. No, to have like just negative. thoughts while you can't sleep? Yeah, where I'm trapped in a mine.

You know what I mean? TONY! TONY! AND LIKE, you know what I mean? Rubble. up to my neck, right? Tony? Yeah, yeah. Tony Hinchcliffe like, "What the [ __ ] do you want?". >> It's not that Tony, but yeah, it could. be. >> Death in a dream may not actually be. dying. Instead, it often represents. change, the closing of a chapter or the. end of life as you know it. Mhm. It could be. I don't think you're even. close to dying. >> Yeah, yeah, yeah. You I have death dreams a lot. It's not. healthy. Who dies in your dream? I'm. always close to death. I'm always. usually on a plane that's crashing and. it makes my They say that if you really.

die in a dream, you die in real life. Is. that true? I don't know. I'm not Yeah, Google it. >> What? You wake up. No, no, no. Yeah, but. you but you but if you really die in a. dream, that means you die in real life. That's what I heard. How would we know. that? >> [laughter]. >> You wouldn't. That's the thing. So who. would know that that's true? What? Dying. in a dream does not mean you die in real. life. It's a common myth. It's a. >> [laughter]. >> huge myth. That was a movie. >> It's a common myth. Yeah, yeah. Well, I. believe in. Dude, I'm a myth guy, dude. You're a. huge. >> I'm a myth guy, dude. >> [laughter]. >> You know what I mean? I love fables. I. love myths. You know what I mean? I love.

stories of all kinds. >> Give me a fable. What? Give me a fable. Well, long ago, Idi Amin Malo from um. What? Idi Amin Malo. >> [laughter]. >> Idi Amin Malo. Yeah. You know the story. >> I've heard it. Yeah, once. He was a farm. boy. A farm Oh, he was a farm boy? Yeah. Yeah. In a little island, indigenous. island. He was farming on an island. Indigenous island. So he's farming for. indigenous people on an island. >> He is indigenous. So he's just getting. food for himself. >> [laughter]. >> I could have said it that way. Yeah.

So indigenous, right? Not indigenous. Idi Amin? Idi Amin. Idi Amin. Are you. saying Idi Amin? No, not Idi Amin. That. guy's a bad guy. What did he do? He slaughtered people. How many? I don't know. Millions? Idi Amin. Yeah. What? I like how you're. >> know what I mean? What? >> know that was a real person. >> Yeah. Look up Idi Amin. How many people. did he kill? >> made a name. I didn't go to college. No, Idi Amin was a. I don't know. going on today? Oh, he.

wrote Idi Amin. Yeah, yeah. E D I E D I E D I. Yeah, there he is. Oh. Look at him. E D A M I. >> Dude. Idi Amin. Yeah. How many people did Idi Amin kill? >> Kill count is so funny to type in. Fiv- 500. a half a million? He's good. It's pretty good. In Not the best. Not the best. Pol Pot. was better. Way better. Yeah, yeah. Pol. Pot was somewhat better. >> President while he was an 8-year ruler. of the president of Uganda. He. approximately killed That's a huge gap. 100 grand to 500 grand 400,000 people is. a big gap. But if you do it.

incrementally, not at one time. Yeah, it's like it's like what's his name. sleeping with all those women Wilt. Chamberlain? Yeah. It's kind of like if. you did it over time we did the math. it's like seven a day. Yeah. Half a million people do That's crazy. Yeah, but for what? Power. Yeah, it's power. >> That's what he was doing. He wanted. power. I'm so guilt-ridden there's no way I. could even do one. For power. You. couldn't kill one person. There's not. one person you think about. >> on what they did.

Let's say I'm. I'm a. I'm a general of some sort of small. country. somewhere far away. You're my lieutenant. and you ask me you tell me what happened. and I'm going to say if I want them. killed or not. Yes. Sir. Yes. Uh. one of our en- What's your name? Mokhtar. Mokhtar, what's up, dog? What. >> [laughter]. >> What is up? I'm a senior round a long. time, Mokhtar. How's the family? >> Very good, sir. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Mokhtar. Yes. I don't want that. That's. your Make up something. Oh. >> Make up. Mokhtar. Mokhtar. Mokhtar. Mokhtar. So. any Anyway, anyway, what's the problem, Mokhtar? Somebody came to our barracks while we. were sleeping. Kill them. >> [laughter]. >> Kill them all. His whole line. His. family line. All right? Uncles, aunts. He's dropping off food. DoorDash? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, kill them. all. >> [laughter]. >> In fact, kill everyone that's doing.

DoorDash right now. No, no, it would have to be like. they destroyed a village, right? And. they you know, for no reason Yeah, for no reason or something. >> Imagine being a soldier and DoorDashing. something while you're like waiting for. war. That'd be amazing. And some guy some. Russian guy is like DoorDash? Drops it off. He's like I have to get a. picture of you with it. >> [laughter]. >> Why the hell do you have to get a. [ __ ] photo? I was like I you handed. it to me. And like he's like I need. photo. The guy dropped off last week. dropped off pizza. I was like thanks,

man, cuz I saw him at the front gate. Thanks, man. And he's like wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. And I was like what? He's like I need picture. And I was like. of He's like a picture of delivery. I. was like okay. So then I. then I was like well, I don't want to be. in it. So I put the pizza back out and. like closed the door. So it's just my. hand holding the pizza That's your funny. for [laughter] the photo. And I was like. good? He's like okay. And I took it back. inside cuz I don't want to be holding. the pizza for in his photo. Yeah. I. don't know what they do with it. They. upload that to the app for proof that.

they dropped it off. And in my neighborhood now there's. [ __ ] robots everywhere. >> them. I hate them. They don't go to your. neighborhood. They can't get up there. >> can't get up there. I live in the hills. >> [snorts]. >> Yes, he does. But. I got a pizza from. >> The hills have slanted eyes. >> [laughter]. >> THAT'S GOOD. THAT'D BE A FUNNY MOVIE. >> [laughter]. >> THAT'S A HORROR MOVIE. >> The Wayans brothers present The hills. have slanted eyes. I got a pizza from Prince and the dude.

left it on the ground and I was playing. video games I'll get in 30 minutes. Mistake. Tell me what happened. It got eaten by a. coyote? No. Ants. Oh, yeah, dude. It got. in there, dude. I opened it up it was. just filled with ants. Gross. Oh my god. You waited 30 minutes? >> Yeah, but I there's a little table. outside my. What? No. I threw it away. There's a little table next to my front. door that you put the [ __ ] on. Did he. just put it on the ground? >> Oh, yeah. Yeah, it pissed me off. You. should say in the app you can say please.

leave on table. Yeah. You can put it in. the notes. Yeah, I should do that. >> I give them notes all the time. What are. your notes? Um don't come near my house, drop it off on the sidewalk. >> [laughter]. >> Pick up the dog [ __ ] in the yard on the. way. Yeah. No, I give them notes if it's like. hey, I'm not gate's open, I'm not there. Just drop it off inside the gate. >> Yeah. Cuz a lot of times they like if. they see sometimes I'll have like a. delivery and if the gate's not open, they'll just leave. I've seen them just. like leave. I'm like wait, wait, wait,

what where are you going? >> Yeah. It's the weird I'm like just throw. it over the fence or whatever it is. Yeah. Do you do priority? Oh, I don't. know. That's a scam. What? Dude, I'll do priority and not to. test that theory out. We did this years. ago. Yeah. Or not years. Whatever. When. it first started we tested it. It was almost the same time and you just. pay five more bucks. It doesn't even. make sense. So they don't go to your. house first. >> No, they don't. I They do not do that. That's a lie. Cuz I've done both ways. >> know. It's been the same. They definitely. >> You can tell if the food's warm or cold.

I feel like it's always cold. Yeah. No. matter what I get it's cold. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't ever get a warm and you. you wait 30 minutes. It's always cold. for you. Yeah. I don't think I've I got. something today that was so [ __ ]. cold. You know what it was? Ice cream. >> [laughter]. >> I'm on fire. You're killing it, right? >> Dude, I'm on fire today. >> Settle down. Yeah, yeah, yeah. [laughter] What kind of ice cream did. you get? I like butter pecan, rocky road, mint. chip is in my top three. That's top. three? Yeah. Hm. I don't do this new [ __ ] like you. know what I mean? Goat cheese, you know.

what I mean? Dandelions and you know. what I mean? Baklava shavings. So good. >> You know how they do that? Yeah, it's. like [ __ ] off. So good. >> No, dude. You never had coffee toenails? >> [laughter]. >> I don't do coffee toenails. One of my. favorites. You got to get over to What. is it? Salt & Straw. They're the ones. that do that. Sometimes they'll put one. out that that is genuinely it's like. lavender fart and you're like sorry? >> Yeah, yeah. And they're like it's one of. our college kids made it this morning. Yeah, it's like they experiment which is. fun, but Pit pear and blue cheese. I had. that. It's actually [ __ ] good.

>> That's good. >> The one you're talking about is black. olive brittle and goat cheese. Yeah. Get. the [ __ ] out of. >> Get the [ __ ] out of here, dude. >> It's not ice cream. Duck skin? Wow. Duck skin? Yeah. You think that's good? I mean it's probably from a Chinese. restaurant for sure. Yeah. Creepy. crawler critters? This is all Salt &. Straw. Yeah. Which is you know, probably. one of the best ice cream places on. planet Earth. It's got There's a lot There's a lot. more. But I'm more old school. Like I could just do Like a Van Leeuwen. guy? No, I could just do [ __ ]. Baskin-Robbins, dude.

You get a banana royale? You're out of. That is Have you had a banana royale? There's so many good new ice cream like. McConnell's. >> McConnell's is great. McConnell's is. great. Van Leeuwen. Van Leeuwen's pretty. good, yeah. I mean these are all better. than Baskin-Robbins. >> Yeah, but I can still just do a banana. royale. Look at that thing. Nah. You okay? I'm not [ __ ] with. Baskin-Robbins. Especially now cuz you can buy those. good ones like Jeni's. You can buy them. at the grocery store. Yeah. Why am I. going to Baskin's if I can go get better. [ __ ] at the at the grocery store for the.

same price now? Because Baskin's there's. more of them. Like for instance, if you want to go to. um. um Salt & Straw, all right? You got. there's three locations. >> And there's th- and there's 30 people in. line. >> And then there's a huge line, you know. what I mean? As if they're getting. Taylor Swift tickets. You know about. that. But my point is is this. >> [laughter]. >> It. Yeah, but um. with Baskin-Robbins there's never anyone. anyone there, you know what I mean? The. worst is when there's a gigantic family. That's their slogan. Baskin-Robbins,

there's never anyone here. >> [laughter]. >> Come on in. There's never anyone here. Yeah. There wasn't. There used to be one. on Magnolia in Burbank I used to go to. Yeah. It's literally So you have been. >> It's empty. You have been. >> I had been. Yeah. >> And I stopped cuz I was like this is not. good. And the one teenage tweaker that's. working there not in I didn't like it. Yeah. He He just his vibe was weird. I. hate those energy. those meth vibes. Those meth vibes, dude. I'm like what the [ __ ] dude? I've just. gotten here.

I'm experimenting. That's who's there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I can't do it, dude. Al- Also, by the way, they don't have 31. flavors anymore. That's also a myth. Yeah, it's not It's. 18. Change it to 18 flavors. They don't. even I don't think they feature 31. They. don't They don't They don't. >> When I'm ever in there it's always like. 10 flavors. They have 31 flavor at any. It says about 31. Yeah, [ __ ] Cuz. that one that I'm talking about they. never had They had like maybe 10 max. I give them 12 on a good day. This is quality control that's gone. downhill, by the way. This is why.

they're getting beaten by the other big. dogs. Wait, what's what's the ice cream. Handles? Have you been to Handles? I don't even. think that's right. Handles? Yeah. Handles? Yeah. >> It's Jewish. Oh, oh, oh, Hendel's. That's how you SAY IT. SHUT UP. >> [laughter]. >> IT'S A HENDEL'S. IT'S JEWISH. HENDEL'S. YEAH, YEAH, YEAH. It's the last name. Yeah, Hendel's. Hendel. You know why I. like that place? Howie Mandel. Oh, I. see. Mandel. Hendel. Okay. Yes, homemade.

ice cream since 1943. Hendel's ice cream. We're also a bank. >> [laughter]. >> Hendel's is really good. I'd like to. make a deposit and also get a rocky road. to go, please. It's a bank ice cream store. >> [laughter]. >> Hendel's ice cream. It's kosher, I. imagine. What does kosher mean? Huh? What does it. mean? Kosher means like the It's blessed. No, but it also means two things don't. touch. Like two meat and cheeses don't.

touch. >> Ah. Right? Like kosher means fit and. proper refers to according Jewish. dietary laws which dictate permissible. ingredients, preparation, separation of. food like meat and dairy that cannot. touch. Ensuring items are ritually pure. and fit for consumption. Which is. [ __ ] crazy because meat and cheese is. like my favorite [ __ ] on Earth. Yeah. At. at the house I'll roll up some meat. on some cheese and that's a snack to go. I love that. One of my faves. Not. kosher. Oh, pig is not kosher, right.

What else? Uh Is that a falcon? What is. that? >> All scavenger all scavenger and. predatory birds are not kosher. Ah, like. you can't have eagle. Should shouldn't. >> Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Very [laughter]. good. I think it's it's so good. >> to catch, but you know. You know how hard it is to get those. eagles? Oh my god. >> Okay, and then if something doesn't have. both fins and scales. Oh, so you can't. have. >> be crustaceans, mollusks, water. >> platypus? >> [laughter]. >> There's there's a lot going on there. >> Can't do it? >> Yeah, yeah. You can't Why? Can't do it?

>> Okay, you can't Not kosher. All right. >> Meat and dairy together and then loin, sirloin, rump, flank and heel steak. So. anything behind so they can't have the. back half of the cow. They can only have. chuck, rib, shoulder and plate. >> No gay stuff. >> Yeah. Yeah, no gay [ __ ]. >> [laughter]. >> DraftKings Sportsbook. >> DraftKings Sportsbook, an official. sports betting partner of the NFL, makes. every playoff moment feel bigger. DraftKings has your back with early exit. protection. If the player in your. eligible NFL prop bet goes down at any.

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sponsoring the podcast. Boiled and. muscles from a shell. Squeeze. Great. song. Such a good song. Squeeze is such. a good band. Isn't it really though? >> Yeah, yeah, yeah. >> It's one of those bands that's. underrated. I think. people don't people don't really know. >> is such a good band. Oh dude, I heard a. song yesterday I was going to text you. >> Which is it? Um. because I was like, you know how. sometimes you don't hear a lyric. You've. heard it for years. >> Mhm. >> But then you don't think anything of it. and you hear it again and you're like, that's what the [ __ ] they were saying? >> Yeah. Like you know what they're saying, but um it's a song where he says uh he.

says um. and uh uh uh. I've never seen you do that before. That. was scary. >> [laughter]. >> Something happened. No, but you know it's like uh but get. behind the wheel get. >> [laughter]. >> What the [ __ ] who does that? Dude. >> [laughter]. >> Like it's like a a chess master would do. that if they lost. >> a a finger going like They go checkmate. and you go. >> [laughter].

>> I can't think of the name of the song I. was thinking of too and it goes get. behind the wheel of a thing and. it's like after you're drinking. It's. talking about drinking then after you. after you then you get behind the wheel. and crash into a [ __ ] something. And. it's and it's that's not what the song. is about. >> Yeah. I'm so bummed that I can't think. of that. >> what song that you got me stuck on? Mhm. And I'm I [ __ ] mad that you. influenced me in this way. >> What? Oh. Give me. >> Let's Black Eyed Peas let's get it. started. >> No, no. Oh. >> [laughter]. >> Guess what it is. Guess what it is. Um what song did I get you stuck on?

Ooh, I'm thinking what I just recently. gave you. I'll give you the gist of it. Yeah. What? That's not it. That Bill Nye song is so. good. Wait, play this real fast. This. makes me laugh so this. >> [music]. >> Closet. They can't say Bill so they say. beer beer beer. >> [laughter]. >> It's the funniest G I Shin Kon Chin. Chow. The Chinese. they're so [ __ ] fun. Look, you guys. are great filmmakers but you don't do.

fun [ __ ] like that. That's fun. Yeah. >> G I Shin Kon Chin Chow. >> When you say you guys. When you say you guys what the [ __ ] do. you mean, dude? >> Koreans, you [ __ ]. >> [laughter]. >> Koreans I just said you guys make great. film but you don't do goofball [ __ ]. >> I can say beer. Beer beer. But this is what the Japanese and the. Chinese do the best. >> you the song. >> Weirdo stuff. Oh, give me a hint. All. right. It's about um. it's about a guy who's in a different. country and he needs something from his. dad. He's in trouble.

Lawyers, guns and money? Warren Zevon? >> Yeah. Every day I listen to that song. >> It's such a good song. >> Dude, that song Warren Zevon Lawyers, Guns and Money I listen to it every day. because OF YOU. >> SEND LAWYERS, GUNS AND MONEY. THE [ __ ]. HAS [laughter] HIT THE FAN. >> YEAH, another one is the werewolf song I. like too. >> Oh, Werewolves of London? >> yeah. Great song. Oh, that kind of sounds like your stuff. >> [laughter]. >> beer beer beer beer BEER BEER.

>> [laughter]. >> WARREN ZEVON. Uh that album will get you. it's uh uh. Oh, not relatable boy. Why can't I think. of the name? Excitable boy, sorry. >> Oh, so good. >> It's funny it's like you discover things. like you know, I'm a music guy, yeah. But it just I never was introduced to. him. until I met you. It's so funny cuz this is exactly. something you would love. I know I like. I can't believe it like I you know. when I listen to it now I'm like it's so.

interesting because maybe I You know. another band that was like that with me. is Joy Division. >> Oh, I love Joy Division. >> Yeah. I saw. I didn't like Joy Division until I saw. 24 Hour Party People. You ever see that. movie? >> Mhm. It's about the Manchester music. scene and. Joy Division's in it. There's a there's. like a club scene. where um Joy Division is playing and. you're going, what is this? And they're. playing in the movie as themselves? >> No, they're not in the movie. They're. just actors. They're playing Joy. Division and the guy does such a good.

job at portraying Ian McKay. Ian Curtis. Ian Ian Curtis. >> Mhm. And I'm like, holy [ __ ] who is. this? And then I Googled it and I was. like, oh [ __ ] it's Joy Division. And. then I just became obsessed. But it just. never was something that when I. initially heard it. You know, it didn't land. >> It didn't land with me until. >> Steve Coogan is so talented by the way. It's like one of the one of the. funniest, smartest dudes I think. It's. so funny how like American culture. doesn't really know Steve Coogan. Yeah. I would you'd argue most Americans don't. know who that is, right?

>> Damien Cockburn? Yeah, Mr. Cockburn. >> You see these? The trips are great. That's why Americans might know them. because of the trips, but I just think. they're so popular in in England and not. as much here. Yeah. >> But those movies are so good. The. original trip is the best. What is it? It's just like it's them two it's. literally like a kind of like a loose. it's like a loose concept film about. these two. It feels docu-style but it's. not. But it is. Heightened versions of. themselves. They're in Hollywood still. like It's them but it's not. It's it's.

very brilliant and it's just two best. friends on vacation and they just get. themselves into some [ __ ] Other. movies? Yeah. Yeah, there's a series. >> Are they good? They're fantastic. >> We should do that. We should do We. should do our version of the trip. >> Yeah. I went to a Christmas party last. night. Who Who? >> Arden Myrin. Oh, I know I heard you told me this. But. it was her and Bert? >> Bert was there, yeah. It was her party. but Bert was there. >> At her house? At her house and I ran. into one of my favorite people of all. time.

Who? Wait, hold on hold on hold on. Let. me guess. MH is his initials. Kevin Spacey? >> [laughter]. >> MH, man. There's a lot of young boys. here. Michael Hitchcock. I don't know who that is. You ever see Best in Show? Love Best in. Show. >> Yeah. Oh yeah, he's great. Yeah, Hitchy. was there. So he was there at Arden's. house? How was the How was the party? I. was there for five minutes. >> [laughter]. >> So it was a good party. >> like a five minute whenever she has a. party I do five minutes. I'll I'll do a. round.

hug and then leave. Why? Why go then? Because I Cuz my therapist my cuz you. know you know I'm a loner. Yeah. And I. don't leave the house. So my therapist. is like, you got to just try to. participate. So I try to participate. Yeah, but I see I disagree. You're 54. years old. At this point don't do. anything you don't want to do. >> if you look at my mom, that's where I'm. headed. She looks great. >> she looks great but she doesn't like. leaving the house and she only plays. iPad games. What's wrong with that? >> There's nothing wrong with it but it's.

like I you know I I want to be able to. be you know, how do you you. you got to be social. That's a part of. the human condition. No. It's not? No, you already did it. Oh, I did it. >> For 54 years you've did it. Oh. You paid. all your dues. You don't owe anybody. [ __ ] You can go or don't go. Yeah, I'm. just I think I'm like my mom. It's. great. Yeah. She looks happy and. healthy. But by the way, she got. frustrated because she logged out of. YouTube. That was like a huge debacle. Oh, yeah. She was like, "YouTube, YouTube.". >> Yeah. And you're like, "Mom, we'll do. it." And she's like, "Now." You're like, "We're doing the podcast.". >> That's another thing that I have. I want.

it now. Yeah. She wanted YouTube now. I want. mine now. >> exactly how you are. >> Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's. >> Do it now. funny. You want it right now. >> I want it right now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But but you're not a guy that if you say. you're going to do it, doesn't mean. you're going to do it now. What do you mean? You want things done. right now. >> Yeah. But if you say you're going to do. something, doesn't mean you you're going. to Oh, I don't do it now. >> Right. Yeah, yeah. No, you have to do it. now. Yeah, yeah, [laughter] yeah. I do. it when I want to do it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. >> I'm that guy. I make up my mind and I'm. going to do something, I just do it. And. even if it's like even it's.

it's chunking time out of something. else. If I really want to do it, I'm. going to do it. I don't give a [ __ ]. I was like that with tennis rackets and. ice skates. >> [laughter]. >> What? >> Not enough. What? Not enough. No, the other day I. was like, "I need tennis rackets." I. went and did I woke up and I went I'm. going to get tennis rackets. See, I like. that. Yeah, yeah. I want ice skates, I'll go get ice skates. Yeah, yeah. Right. Yeah. I'm going to do it. I'm. going they just stay in my closet for. like years. But you got them. I got them. Just in. case we need to skate. Yeah. Cuz I've had a lot of people go, "Do you. want to play tennis?".

I got I got to get rackets. >> Who? Kirk? You know other people. Just people just. random people. You want to play tennis? I'll play tennis with you. But you. don't. Cuz I didn't have any rackets. Now I. have them. Now you got how many rackets? Just two. Prince. Red ones. Two Prince. So you bought two rackets even though. you need one. I always have two. Over. prepared. No. In case you break one. I. hit so hard. >> [laughter]. >> Dude, I was on the tennis team in high. school. I told you that. I got those red. ones right there. Tell me your your What. was the food at Arden's house? Tacos.

A taco truck? No, just tacos in the. house. Who's got Who made tacos in the. house? >> So I was there with Andrea Jin. She. came, too. And she started eating the. tacos. And I You never I I don't know. about you. You probably do it. Here Here's what I like about your. parties versus other parties. >> Sure. Okay? So. at your parties, you have a dude making. it. Correct. Yeah. Right? Yeah. Like. I've been to Carlos Mencia's house at. for his parties. He has a guy You pay. for someone to make them. >> Yeah, yeah. So he's. Then you can enjoy the party.

You know what I mean? [laughter] How do. whatever they. Beer, beer, beer. Right, right. So, but. then you go to some houses and there. it's just there sitting in a. cylinder. >> Like it was ordered or they made it. earlier. >> how it came about. I don't know how it. manifests itself. >> like it either way. Yeah, I but I need. to see it made. >> Uh-huh. On the spot. >> I understand what you're saying. So, if. it's sitting there, who knows? It could. have been there yesterday. Right. They. had Do you know? You had two party You.

had day two party. Yeah, so then Andrea. took ate a. taco and I was like, "I wouldn't eat. that." She goes, "But you're weird.". And then 30 minutes later she goes, "My. tummy hurts." I go, See? Yeah. See? You're going to see the. guy make it. Well, that's like remember. the Tims to when Tim had his house here. and he had when Dylan had his Christmas. parties? Mhm. He would literally have a. staff of 10 people cooking. Yeah. He had. someone [ __ ] He had just a baker to. make desserts. Yeah. He hired a someone to bake. just desserts a pastry chef. As I'm.

dumb, I can't say it. A pastry chef just. for desserts. And then four chefs. Yep. Regular chefs. Yeah. And they were doing. the yes chef. I heard the sous chef. being like, "Do you need this?" And. like, "Yes, chef. Right here, chef.". >> Yeah. I was like, "This is a kitchen. He's He brought the bear to his [ __ ]. house.". >> Yeah. You know what else I like? >> an extravagant guy. He is. Yeah, yeah. I also like places where it looks like a. lab at a restaurant, for instance. You're at Din Tai Fung. Right? And there's a gigantic open. window and you see they're all in white.

with masks. Yeah. And they're folding. the dumplings. >> Oh, I love it. Buca di Beppo, you see. them making the tortillas. Home style. They make them They make them there in. front They make it right in front of. you. Right. So that I like that. >> Right there. Yeah. No, that's Like it's a lab. >> That's the Wuhan lab. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's the Wuhan lab. >> No, they're making dumplings and COVID. Well, that's. >> [laughter]. >> That's where they put the COVID. They're. Asians. They have work ethic, right? They can do two things at once. One guy [ __ ] up, he's like, "Oh, I was. supposed to make COVID today.". >> [laughter].

>> Yeah. Wasted all of his time making. dumplings. But don't you Do you like Din. Tai Fung? Here's what I like about this. I can see them putting in the work. That's right. >> Like did you see that video of the guy. that restaurant here in Southern. California? They got in trouble. They. got closed down cuz he was breaking up. frozen ribs in the back of the. restaurant I saw that. I saw that. I saw. that. >> On the ground. >> That's so gross. Have you seen that? It's so gross. >> frozen slab of ribs. SLAMMING IT ON THE. GROUND. >> [laughter]. >> DUDE, IT WAS ONE OF THE FUNNIEST THINGS. THAT I THINK I'VE EVER SEEN. And then. then the Yeah, that's him out back. Look.

at that. Play that video. He's behind. the restaurant and he's just throwing. the ribs on the ground. This is someone like from their. apartment. >> [laughter]. >> Look at this. Hey. Just trying to break them up a little. bit. Woah. >> On a box. Yeah. >> He put the cardboard down. >> Look at it. Falls on the ground three or. four times. They throw They just fall on. the ground. Look at that. Gross. >> [laughter]. >> Now, here's my argument for this guy. You're defending him? For a second. Okay. Well, yeah, of course. >> He's not Asian. >> Yes, he is. No, he's not. >> he's throwing is absolutely. >> Let's pause. When it zooms in.

>> in? No, let them do it. Here. She'll. zoom in a little bit. There. That's 100% an. >> I guess so. There's There's literally no. doubt in my mind. The way he throws is. Asian. >> Yeah, yeah, yeah. What How do Asians. throw? Hiya. Oh, okay. >> Every You can hear it. No, but listen. Here. Foul Love. It was called Foul. Love. Uh and let me tell you why I'm defending. him for a heartbeat. Permanently closed. That sucks. Here's my only semi defense. They're frozen. Nothing is sticking to frozen a fro No. No You could literally dip that in.

trash, take it out, blow it off. It's. nothing It's frozen. It's solid. Then. when you cook it, you're cooking away. whatever would be. >> also wash it. 100% it's frozen. >> you're right. >> It's frozen. >> Yeah. And by the way, I don't think the. optics is good, though. [laughter] No. No, it's bad. Also, how much how much. other [ __ ] do they do that [laughter]. with? Right. >> Like Like And look at there's a mop. bucket right next to him. It's [ __ ]. gross. >> Yeah. But this is the thing. As Americans, we're spoiled rotten. This happens all. over the [ __ ] world [snorts] and they. don't think twice. I think you're right.

I think the reason why I like the lab. atmosphere, right, is you're you have. assurance. >> You're assured. >> You know what I mean? You look at Din. Tai Fung and you're like, "Okay, there. he's not throwing that dumpling on the. ground.". >> [laughter]. >> Right? And then some places when you don't You. don't know what goes Like I believe that. like I think that like if you go to Taco. Bell, something they spit in the [ __ ]. stuff. >> I don't believe that. You don't don't? I. don't think so. Cuz I worked at. McDonald's. I worked at fast food. We. never did that. Yeah, you cuz you're a. good guy. >> no. But I didn't Okay. There were some. other friends of mine that were there.

that were [ __ ] up to no goodies. They. never did [ __ ] like that. You know what. you would do instead? Because if you got. caught doing that, dude, that's also. against the law. You can You could go to. jail for that, right? You're spitting in. someone's food. You know how easy it is. to spit without anyone seeing? It's a. biohazard, though. Okay. That's bad. No, guys would do [ __ ]. like that. They would [ __ ] up their. order on purpose. Ah. That happens all. the time. >> Yeah. They'd be like, "Fuck this. asshole." And so they'd give them like. one less nugget. Yeah. Okay. That's like. such a good Because by the way, you get. the bag and most of us you go for fries.

on the ride home. Unless you're really. hungry, you're probably not going to eat. the nuggets until you get home. And you. open it up and see five instead of six. Pissed. It's a perfect. >> about that? >> I'd be [ __ ] pissed. I want six. If I. order six, I want six. What if there's seven? >> [laughter]. >> Are you extra happy? That's amazing. Are you not extra happy when an extra. nugget falls in there? You know what I. don't like? Mhm. When a random thing. that's in the nugget box. Like one fry. >> I love that. No, I don't like that. I. don't like. >> Give me a rogue onion ring all day long. >> want a rogue one. No.

>> What is he doing in there? He's on an. adventure. He's like, I'm like, "STAY WITH YOUR KIND.". >> [laughter]. >> ALL RIGHT. >> OH. >> YEAH, stay with your kind. Onion rings just hang out with onion. rings. All right? If you come over to. You know what I mean? French fry land, right? I'm calling ICE. [laughter]. It's big segre That's We should open up. a fast food place called segregation. >> Yeah. Sepa- Separate but equal. Yeah. Yeah. But they're not. >> like that? Yeah. Onion rings belong with. onion rings. All right, what about this? >> I'm going to let my ONION RING DATE YOUR.

FRENCH FRY ASS DAUGHTER? >> [laughter]. >> YEAH. [ __ ] ASS FRENCH FRY ASS DAUGHTER. What if you open your a nugget box and. there's something in there that's not. even on the menu? >> [laughter]. >> What is it? What? >> What is it? Like. Like Like, you know, sake duck. Oh my. god, how good. >> No, but you're at Taco Bell. >> [laughter]. >> I know. It's a new menu item. Okay. No, no. Something that's Like why would it. be there? >> egg roll? Yeah, like an egg roll. Yeah. You're at You're at You go to McDonald's. fries, you open it and there's an egg. roll in there.

>> Bonus. Bonus egg roll. >> Yeah, but where did it come from? Bro, who cares? [laughter]. Is it the same thing as you're talking. about? Like I'm going for a ride? I'm Imagine that adventure. >> [laughter]. >> I went from Panda Express. I took a DoorDash ride through [ __ ]. McDonald's. I hop out. I jump into the This does happen. Cuz. they have KFC Taco Bell combo places. now. >> That I can see. Okay, so that does. happen. And I'd be okay with that. I I I. don't hit your ride. We work different. in that way. >> I understand. >> Okay, yeah. If it's fast food and it's.

fried, who cares how it got in there? I'll take. Yeah, we used to [ __ ] with people in. that right. But we'd steal from that. McDonald's. That's why my buddies got. fired. Yeah. My buddy Chris. Because if our friends came, we'd give. them as much stuff as we could. >> Yeah. It was hard to steal money. You. could. We'd steal food, but sometimes. you steal money. Sometimes. You wouldn't. put in a late order. If it was super. late and they're in the window, you. wouldn't punch it in. You would be like, "Yeah, yeah, I'll I'll do it." And then. you'd make up the number of what you. think. You'd be like, "$4.75.". And then you would just go get the item. and not ring it up. Ooh, they used to do.

that at a comedy club I know. Seriously? >> Oh, yeah. Where? They had an old system and then. the waitresses they could like charge. somebody and then void it easily. >> Oh, they voided Yeah, yeah, and then. just take all the cash. >> See, the voiding is tough cuz it still. shows up in the system. See, I I've. worked in restaurants. I I know how that. goes. Well, yeah, because you can get. the manager and be like, "Can you void. that drink out that no one wanted it?". But then you'd give your buddy that. drink. I've done that, but they're still. traceable. With McDonald's, you would. take the order but not take it down. Just go back to the kitchen and be like, "Can I get a double double double to.

go?" And then they'll, you know, they. slide you that double quarter pounder. So, the matter They don't count the. patties. What I mean by that is. It's a box of You should see McDonald's. McDonald's gets a box of like 700 frozen. patties. Yeah, but if I was I'm Asian. >> One, two. >> Yeah, I'm counting. >> [laughter]. >> I'm going to do it all day. Kachava. You know, sometimes when I want. a meal, right, and I want all the. nutrients that I need, right? I go to. Kachava. Not not not not not Not only is.

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don't have time. >> If I'm the manager at I'm counting. >> so much to do when you're the manager. You're busy as [ __ ]. >> Like fries is one thing. That's insane. You know what I mean? You better count. >> We have 42,695. fries today. You know what I mean? You. better not [ __ ] steal. >> [laughter]. >> That's crazy. Here's why it doesn't. matter because at McDonald's, if you. ever work in fast food, so much stuff. ends up on the floor on accident. Fries, a nugget, patty. This happens. Cuz when. you're When people are moving fast, [ __ ]. spills. >> I stand corrected. I stand corrected. You know what You know my favorite [ __ ]. was? >> What? When we'd have to replace the Coke.

bag. So, cuz it's a perfect cuz. McDonald's has like the perfect mixture. of Coca-Cola. That's why it's the best. Coca-Cola in the [ __ ] world. Other. than Mexican Coke in a bottle. But the. go Coke is Mex- is McDonald's because. their sh- their syrup mixture is like. perfectly measured, but it's so dense. and sweet that you like hook up the. sugar bag the the the syrup bag. and it's got the then the carbonation. and the the the soda water. Sometimes it would leak out of the top, like the plastic top. And I'd suck on. that thing. >> that. Oh my god, it's so good, dude.

That's it. You can feel your teeth. falling out. >> [laughter]. >> Yeah, yeah. >> It's It's got to be like 1,000 g of. sugar per like because it's it's. condensed. Yeah. It's so [ __ ] Those are. so good, dude. And the smell of those. when you crack it open. I used Dude, I loved working at. McDonald's. It was [ __ ] It was the. best first job I ever had. I was 15. It was awesome. And I fed all my. friends. I got paid good money. Yeah. Like I I I got paid like a minimum wage, but it was like good when you could. still [ __ ] like Yeah, look at that.

Smoking a joint and McDonald's Coke. Hey, yo. Did they drug test there? No. I mean, this was a long time ago. They might now. I don't think they drug. No, they didn't drug test us cuz. everyone we was there was on drugs. Now, would you feel safer when Androids take. over like robot like if like. When you go to McDonald's, eventually. it's going to be no humans working. there. That's [ __ ] a bummer. Well, even now, I went to a McDonald's where. were we? And it And you have to order through the. [ __ ] Did you guys see the Tesla the. Tesla diner in Hollywood? All All.

robotized. Let's Let's burn it. Let's go. burn it down. Is it just made out of cyber trucks? >> [laughter]. >> That's it. [ __ ] that place. [ __ ] him. [ __ ] that whole place. Stupid. But that's the future, guy. No, no. There will still be a need for human I. don't know. No, we will. We'll want. that. Look at that influencer. Ugh. Hey guys, I'm here with my tits and this. robot. Yeah. Oh my god. >> He's making me popcorn.

>> [laughter]. >> The Korea Daily. Of course. So funny. What's so funny about that? I'm happy we made it all the way there. in their news. It's pretty cool. >> We go deep. Do you really think that. that's going to You're That's I think. that people are still going to want. people to run a thing. I don't know. I I like I like the niche niche of it. The niche of the future? Yeah. Well, it's going to be everywhere. So, the. niche would be humans making food still. But right now, when I see a Waymo, I get.

excited. What? Then eventually you get excited. >> [laughter]. >> Talking about. YOU GET EXCITED. >> [laughter]. >> WAYMO I MEAN, WAYMO. WAYMO SUCK. DUDE, they're the best. They stopped and. It's It stopped in front of us in the. hotel when Remember that? And it. couldn't get by us. I know. >> [laughter]. >> W- W- Waymo suck. You don't like that. [ __ ] [ __ ] that. >> it. No, remember what the guy said to us. in the car when he was like, "Waymos are. [ __ ] because what if you get into an.

accident, something happens, uh it the doors lock.". You know, you can't get out of those. things until you're at your destination. You couldn't just get out if you needed. to in an emergency. Like poo. Anything. Oh, wow. You'd have to poo in the Waymo. Oh my god. Waymo with toilet. Wow. Come. on up to the front if you have to [ __ ]. But it doesn't blow your mind when you. see a Waymo like It pisses me off. They're too slow, Bob. >> They suck. >> I know, but it's just being back It's. just so weird when you look at the. [ __ ] driver's seat, there's no one in. there.

>> Okay, let me get For someone like you, I'm going to prove why you you don't. need what you don't want Waymo. In the. future, if it's all Waymos and they're. all self-driving and no one gets to. drive, then you have then everything is. going to be on time. >> [laughter]. >> And you like that things aren't on time. You enjoy the fact that there's leeway. and there's wiggle room. I like that. about you. SCREW WAYMO. >> [laughter]. [applause]. >> I LIKE HUMAN ERROR, TOO. YEAH. Human error. Yeah, yeah. Human. error. Yeah. That's That's where the. magic happens. The ribs on the ground.

>> Right. That's [laughter] where the magic. happens, yeah. Yeah. Back to stores. closed down permanently. Full love. There's a nail in my breadstick. >> [laughter]. >> I love that. >> It's a fun story. >> Yeah, yeah, yeah. You eat it anyway. The. Think about that. The news is not going. to have anything to talk about if. everything is automated. How boring. How. boring. There is no chaos anymore. I. want the chaos. >> We love chaos. Anarchy, bro. We do need We need fucked-up stories. We. need wild [ __ ] to go down. That's why when you If you married an. Android, there's no human error there.

There's no excitement. >> anything you need it to do. >> Exactly. There's no fights, no nothing. You You want some You need some. combative We love drama. Think about a TV. >> I want to watch Pride and Prejudice. tonight. Right? And you know, that argument. Yeah, "No, come on. Let's watch Casino.". "No, last night was your movie night.". Right. "Tonight, Pride and Prejudice.". Ugh, I don't I hate Pride and Prejudice. >> watch it? Pride and Prejudice? >> Yeah. Yeah, I've seen it years ago. God, it's so crazy because. every girl that I know like gets angry. that I haven't seen it.

You haven't seen Pride and. >> I don't even know what it is. >> There's a million versions, too. Yeah, yeah. But they go, "You haven't seen it? It's a masterpiece.". And I'm like, you just said that about. The Notebook. Oh, that was. You think it's a. masterpiece? Can I tell you something? What? Never saw it. See, that's what I'm. saying. That's I never saw The Notebook. Yeah. There's films that I know I You. know what's funny? Like I never saw. Brokeback Mountain, but I got the gist. So, I never saw There's movies that I. just never saw. >> the gist, too, yeah. I got the gist. I. got the gist. Um Yeah, I've You know. what? Can I be honest with you?

>> It's funny. I didn't see Brokeback. Mountain, but I did see Moonlight. I love Moonlight. It's just black It's. just black Brokeback Mountain. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Blackback Mountain. Yeah. Broke Black Mountain. Yeah. >> [laughter]. >> I've never seen Brokeback Mountain, either. It's just I'm not interested in. in seeing it. I want to see it though. cuz I heard it's really good. >> We should all go see it. Doubt it. You've seen it? No. It's amazing. Yeah, yeah. Why Wait, why haven't you seen it? It's just one of those. I did I realized. I didn't even see the second Kill Bill. till today. Yeah. These guys went to. Kill Bill without us today. You know. what movie I'm trying to watch right. now? It's hard to get through. I don't.

know why. Barry Lyndon. Oh, it's so. good. >> I know, it's beautifully shot, but I can't get into it. Look at a. Chinese Look at it wearing a cowboy hat. Yeah. I like Chinese cowboys. When's When have. you seen them? >> There's so many Chinese cowboys. You. don't know that? There's a documentary. about Chinese cowboys. In China? Look, there's an untold America about Chinese. cowboys. You've never seen this? >> No. >> It's amazing. >> Oh, look look Go to the historical. photo. Um zoom in. Look at that, dude. Giddy up, doggie. >> [laughter].

>> Yeehaw. He's doing wide eyes, like he. Yeah, he is doing wide eyes on the. right. >> Yeah. Ride the damn cowboy. No, he just got an order he didn't want. to do. >> [laughter]. >> Hey, man, you're going to take that. piece of dynamite go in that hole and. light it up. He goes, "What?". >> [laughter]. >> Wait, this is not. That's Shen Yun. Yeah. That's just Shen Yun backstage. Is that. Is that in America? Yeah. What? Uh it's. in 1888. Wow, there were Asians back.

then. >> old days. Yeah, but I'm I'm sure they. were like I want to go back home. No, this is your home now, pal. But do. you think they were they were pretty. miserable back then? And one day your. great-great-grandson's going to open up. a Thai food joint Yeah. >> Jose and it will get closed down cuz of. health code violations. You know how I. know it was bad for them? When you watch. Tombstone, Deadwood, any of those. things, there's only one guy. One's If that. >> One's enough. You know what I mean? But. so where are the other people? I don't. know.

I don't know. Yeah. >> You got one. I watched Goonies again, you know? I watched Goonies on the plane the other. day. It's a good movie. >> It's a flawless movie. >> Yeah, it's perfect. >> It's exactly what a movie should be. It's an adventure. I watched back-to-back with Sandlot. I. went Sandlot, Goonies, and I was like, "This is perfect. These are just kids. going on an adventure." That was movies. at that era was just like put them in a. weird situation, have them go on a. whimsical adventure, you go along for. the ride whether or not it's realistic, it doesn't matter. And a lovely. >> I can't watch Sandlot. Why?

Because my ex-girlfriend is married to. the star of Sandlot. It's cuz I think. about him. The stars are vague That's a. vague term because there's a lot of. stars in that. Okay. Scotty Smalls? The. other guy. The chubby guy. The red-headed guy? >> Yeah. Really? >> Yeah. I'm jealous of that. Of of uh of. uh What's his name? Porter? What's wrong. with me? Yeah. >> Ham Porter, yeah. Hamilton Porter. Patrick Renna. Pat Pat Renna. Yeah, go. to Pat Renna, right? Do you know what it boils me up? And. nothing against him. I'm sure I'm sure. he's a great guy, okay? Yeah. That he's.

hot. >> Yeah. Money. Who Who is that? >> Jasmine, my ex-girlfriend. How long ago? Many, many years ago. And when she I was the She was He was. the next guy she dated. And in my head I. was like, "Oh, I'm him.". >> [laughter]. >> You know what I mean? I'm like the Asian. version of him. You think so? >> Yeah, I think I am. He's got that. Sandlot money. I know. Well, I thought you meant you were him. for a second about about like What's. that Isn't there a movie Is it Ryan.

Reynolds or someone like he's the guy. that the girl After the girl sleeps with. him, they they get married and settle. down? What's that movie? >> It's with uh Dane Cook. Oh, right. >> Yeah. Yeah, it is Dane Cook. The. What is it called? She's very pretty, huh, Jasmine? Yeah. Yeah. Look at their family. Go to. the family. That could have been you. >> I know. So many. So many of my ex-girlfriends have kids. now and are happy. >> [laughter]. >> They're just super happy. >> them for happiness, which is good.

>> Oh, you think you think I was there like. the dark the dark dark I can't even. speak English. >> [laughter]. >> The dark chapter? No, the preparing for. happiness. The dark chapter. Is that Was it My Best Friend's Girl? >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So he would hire him. to try to. bone her in order for her to fall back. in love with him. Yeah, cuz yeah. Twisted. That Dane was on fire back then. That's. He was starring in movies, man. It's. crazy. It's awesome. Love him.

Anyway. Yeah, look. Yeah. She's happy, you're. happy. I don't know. Sometimes I What do you. want? Do you want a family? Do you really want. a family? No, he doesn't. Yes, I do. >> Yeah, he might. He would have had one. already. He can still have one. >> I regret some things. You got plenty of. time. Like the airport I was at the airport. LAX and I would Did I did I tell you the. story? I was at LAX. And I look What? You wrote another note to a girl? No, no, no. I was Did you hop off the plane.

at LAX with the dream in a cardigan? No, no, no. What? Sorry. Yeah. I was haggard. >> [laughter]. >> I I just did a weekend at some club and. I was at LAX and I was tired and. haggard. And I have like my backpack, I'm walking. through LAX. In the distance I see this. beautiful girl. with a young husband. and their kid and they're just laughing. And I realize it's my ex-girlfriend and. I run [snorts] into them. And she was like, "Oh!" And we hug Which. one? Not that one. >> Not that one, no. It's a different See, that's what I'm saying. I keep running.

into happiness. And what how did the. conversation go? Like I thought Oh my. god, you know, we hug, I meet the kid, you know what I mean? And the dude, "What's up, dude? What's up, man?" You. know what I mean? "What's up, homey?". You know what I mean? "What's up, homie?" Yeah, yeah, yeah. The black guy? No, it's just a white guy, but it's like. We. White guys can do this, too. >> I know, but you're doing the homey. thing. You keep going to homey. "What's. up, homey?" Yeah, that's what how I. talk. Why? >> [laughter]. >> I don't know. I'm urban. Urban Bobby is back. Yeah. "What's up, dog?" And I do, "What's up, right?" You. said what's up to the boyfriend. >> Yeah, and then they go, "Well, see you. later." And then they leave and I go,

"Oh.". You know? What did I do? What did What did you want? Were you in. love with that person? I think I was I. think honestly, I think. there are some relationship I maybe I. should have hung in there. Yep. Do Do you think? >> Don't say [ __ ] yep. No, I I I believe that. I think I should. have hung in there because in rough. patches, right? I go, "Mayday, mayday, I. got to get out." Right? But that's the. nature of relationships. You're going to. have rough patches. So of course. >> Yeah, and it's like the next time maybe.

stick in the rough patch. You know what I mean? And then you get. out of it instead of like pulling the. emergency cord. But sometimes it's for. the better. But I don't think so. I. think every relationship I've been in it. I should have just stayed in it. That's interesting. Yeah. >> The butterfly effect, huh? You could go. back in time and Yeah, because it's like. if I look back, they were attractive, good people, empathy, all the things. And then you see them happy, but then I. they would have been miserable with me.

How do you know that? I'm a [ __ ] [laughter] bro. Dude, I. I'm a creature of the night, dude. >> Yeah. You know what I mean? 5:00 in the. morning playing Ghost of Tsushima. What. are you doing? The sun is up. Shut up. You know what I mean? [laughter]. All right, I STILL HAVE TO LEVEL UP. At 54 I'm like that. So that's who YOU. ARE. >> TO LEVEL UP. >> BUT THAT'S WHO YOU ARE. Who cares? >> find that a special gem. What I need another girl like, "I'M. LEVELING UP, TOO.". You need a leveler. >> Yeah, yeah. Two We're playing two games. at one time, maybe that.

>> There's got to be a girl like this that. exists. >> Yeah. >> A girl that's obsessed with those kind. of things that loves her independence. >> would get nothing done. What do you need. to get done? Make bread, you know? You're big bread guy now? Well, I love. you know that show. Great British Bake Off? No, but you know. what I'm saying? You. I don't think you would want somebody. exactly like you. That's insane. You'd. want someone that has similar similar. interests. That's what I'm That's what. you're saying. >> I don't know because I remember with. Khloe it's like, you know what I mean? We're going to do this thing and I'm.

like and normally I wouldn't do it, but. when I do it, then you're like, "Oh, I'm. glad I did it.". If I'm with somebody that's like me, we. would never do anything. You know what I mean? You'd just be. sitting there. Kind of perfect. No, I I need I need someone to like lead. me into life. Be with a celebrity. What? Only person. you would like respect. You need to be. with someone in. >> No, and I respect common people. >> [laughter]. >> That's so good. It's like that song from. Pulp, Common People. Okay. >> It's one of my favorite songs. We call.

them civilians. We call them civilians. Well, they're. civilians cuz we're like we're weirdos, we're clowns. And those are civilians, those are adult humans. And we're. different. We're goofball [snorts]. [ __ ] Yeah. >> We're children, we're clowns. You know. what I thought about the other day after. doing last night after doing Friday. night after doing that big show with. Shane. Mhm. And you do this huge show and then you. just end up in a hotel room by yourself. Mhm. Naked after a shower on a chair. hunched over, right? >> [laughter]. >> Literally hunched over and just just. like, What the [ __ ] You could have gone.

Alone. Yeah. I think it's that you think that's going. to make you happy, but you've been doing. It doesn't. Yeah, I know, and you know. that already. You're just experiencing. >> every time I get reminded. Yeah, but. that stuff doesn't make anyone happy. I. know, exactly. Oh, there You're happy because you were. that you did it, but it's but everyone. does have that moment at the end of the. night of anything that you do or are. are. People that get home from a long day at. work whether they like their job or not, everyone has a reflective moment in the.

shower, on the [ __ ] just being like, "Mhm." Yeah. Because that happened. That's human nature. Yeah. It's just. that's the feeling of everything. It's. like when you buy something you've. always wanted then you get it and you. don't even [ __ ] give a [ __ ] That's. That's everything. That's every So, >> [snorts]. >> if you can't be happy now, you're never. going to be happy then. Yeah, I'm trying. to find it, yeah. Although I did hear. that quote today on [ __ ] TikTok. It. bothered me so much. Warren Buffett was. doing a speech and he's like, "If you're. if you're not happy with 50,000 or. 100,000, you're not going to be happy. with 100 million. It's not going to make.

a difference." Oh my god, out of touch. >> of dollars, you [ __ ] idiot. >> Yeah. What are you talking about? What. are you talking And then he does kind of. back it up by saying like, "Oh, yeah, and then there's a There is a threshold. of money that it at a that makes people. gives people comfort and everything.". But like he's trying to do this. Whenever somebody like that like like a. like an Elon Musk or like a Zuckerberg. does that thing where they're like, Out. of touch. "It's not going to make you. happy, man. And I got to tell you, you. just got to find it now. All right, later.". Then he takes off in a [ __ ] jetpack.

>> Yeah, yeah. And you're like, "What are. you What are you talking about?" Yeah, I'm I'm I'm I had a driver the other day. and it made me really like reflect. And I go, you know, I talk to the older. drivers. You love talking to the. drivers. >> "What's up? What's up, dude?" You know, you talk. I was getting into his life. He's like, and we got into his life. He's like, "Married, two kids." Mhm. And then I go, um, "You happy?" He goes, "Well, let me when I go home after this. shift, I'm going to sit in my driveway for an. hour. and just look at Tik Tok before I go.

inside the house." Yeah. And I go, "Why?" He goes, "I just don't want to be. there.". Oh, [ __ ] You hear me? I thought he. wanted some like self-time. >> No, no, no, no, no. He goes, "Because. when I go in there, I'm just so. unhappy." Oh, [ __ ]. >> goes, "I'm only with my wife because, um, we have two young daughters and I'm. going to stay together for them.". Andreas was your driver? >> [laughter]. >> And I was I was like, "Dude, just. figure that out. That sounds like a. nightmare." He goes, "No.". Well, cuz what is he going to do? Break.

up a family and then he. >> And that's what I'm saying, but that's. that's I I don't want that. I think that's what I I'm looking for. something perfect because I don't want. that. I don't want to, you know what I. mean? But perfect doesn't exist. But the. be dreadful going home. >> But I don't think that's I don't think. that's I don't think that's going to. happen to you, either. I think that guy. made his reality. >> Doesn't that sound like a nightmare? You don't know what else is going on in. his life. No, I I got into it. He goes, "What it happened?" He goes, "My wife,

um, doesn't want to compromise. She, um, it's her road or the highway, you. know what I mean? And what? Why are you. laughing at it? That's the saying. You. got it right. I was just Why'd you laugh. at it? Because I don't get it wrong? >> You said it a little funny, but that's. all. How do you say it? My way or the. highway. Is my high or the highway? >> [laughter]. >> And. No, he was like saying like, you know, I. I can't, you know what I mean? Do what I. want to do. It's always her way. >> say what he wanted to do? Oh, you mean. just in general? >> In general. Like it's like, you know. what I mean? She As soon as I get in the.

house, it's like, "Do the this, do that, do this." You know what I mean? And. also, he said that I haven't had sex. with her in 90 days or 100 days. Is he doing like a cleanse or something? >> No, no, she just doesn't want to do it. So, my point is is that it's just he's. trapped. Mhm. And I don't want to be in. a prison. You don't want to be trapped. in a loveless marriage. Or a loveless. relationship, even. I want to be free, you know. >> Right, right. Well, then then that's. what I'm saying. Then don't ever you. don't need to But I believe that there. is got to be somebody out there that has. that.

No, I mean I I I I understand about. compromise. >> Yeah, you got to compromise. >> And I I I understand about that, but to. feel trapped is a different thing. Yeah, that guy was a bad example of what. That that's not going to happen. That's. not you. That's that man's plight. Okay. >> That won't be you. Cuz I like going on. adventures as well. >> You're an adventurous man. >> Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't think that's. going to be you. Okay. You know? And I. But don't But you can see the fear. I think it's a real I think it's a real. emotion. It's a true feeling to have to. to be You don't want to be with someone. that you no longer are interested in.

Yeah. But this happens. >> Last night I was at Ding Tai Fung. Not. Ding Tai Fung. I was at, um, Soon Dong. which is a restaurant. >> three three word Yeah, yeah, it's a. Korean restaurant. >> a ping pong dong. And I was with Andrea. Jin and my friend Andy and we're we see. see this couple and you can see. the guy and we were talking about him. He was just like. and she's like doing all the talking, you know what I mean? And they were it. kind of it was like there was some like, um, a confrontation going on. We don't know. Couldn't hear it, yeah. You could just. see how he's just.

so sad, you know? And I go, "I know what that is and I don't want. that." What was it? Just trapped and bummed and like, you. know what I mean? Like I'm I can't get. out of the situation kind of, you know. what I mean? And I don't want that. I think that's the worst thing, you. know? It's It's also like sometimes. relationships you. they turn into your mother because I do. have childlike behavior. Mhm. So, women. want to mother me. Like, "Do this, do.

that because you're not acting normal.". But I want somebody that's accept the. fact that I'm just the way I am because. I'm not going to really change that. much. I'll provide. I'm fun. Da da da da da. da, you know what I mean? But it's. What's so funny? The da da da da da da. >> [laughter]. >> Is that on your dating profile? I'll provide. I'm fun. Da da da da da. da. You know You know what I mean? Da da da. da da da da da is you. Da da da da da da. Yeah, yeah. >> It's the [ __ ] Bobby Lee. >> [laughter].

>> Yeah, but, um, you know, I think it I. think it was. >> I see you and your wife, I don't feel. that. I feel like, you know, she's just. so cool. >> homie. Yeah, and, um, so you're you're. you're you're lucky. But we all have. [ __ ] We have [ __ ] Fancy and. his wife have [ __ ] There's just. stuff that happens. and you got to wiggle your way through. it. Now, if I was if I had that guy's. [ __ ] thing, the driver's like I sit. in my car cuz I don't want to go inside, I'm out of that relationship. >> That's I don't That's crazy. That's That. guy. >> But you you got to understand I'm stuck.

I have kids, you know what I mean? No, there's a way out of everything. You. think so? >> 100%. That guy shouldn't be in that. Also, that's worse for the kids because. he's probably not present. He's probably. They're probably like, "Daddy!" And he's. like, "You know what? GET THE [ __ ] OUT. OF MY FACE. YEAH. Get away from me. I. don't like you. But I see signs up front. I went on a date and she goes, Okay, you're not going to believe this. She gets in my car. She goes, "Don't drive yet." I go, "Why?" She. goes, "I want to kick connect my phone. into your Bluetooth so we can play my.

music.". >> Oh, god. Immediately stop it. That's the. first thing she said. >> Okay, but you could go along and go, "Okay, maybe I want to hear your tunes. Maybe she want to share tunes with me.". Do you know why my um. um sideburns are shaved? No. She went She grabbed my sideburns. This. is not going to do. Jeez. My sideburns. >> This girl made you shave those? No, this. A couple days later I looked in the. mirror and go, "Maybe she's right. Maybe. I should shave them.". >> [laughter]. >> Let me see. Turn No, I I just shaved. them. But what They. >> grey You know, they were long and. grizzly. Some of the white hair I love. it.

>> I know you do. But she did that and I. was like, "Oh, I can't do this because. that's the beginning." Yeah. That's up front, dude. What That's what. you're opening with? >> you What if she gets all the heavy [ __ ]. out of the way up top? What if that's. the only thing that bothers Sideburns. and I have to play my music. That's it. Those are the only problems? >> that's pretty good. >> That is pretty good in the long run. >> In their dating profile, it's like, "Look, I hate sideburns and I got to. play my music, but outside of that, [laughter] I'm a. chill chick on Earth.". >> Yeah. But that I mean, those are warning. signs, no? So, you're never going to. talk to that girl again. I haven't, no. Yeah, that's. >> Because it was like.

It just felt, you know, it's just hot, but that's nothing. They're all hot. Yeah, yeah. Every girl is hot with you. I said that to someone. Who was I. talking to? You guys? Yeah. And I was. like, "They're all hot. They're all. hot." But now it's like I can't do it if. they're like that. >> Well, it doesn't matter that they're hot. because there it that's not It's not it. There's more that you need. There's more than you need. There's more. that you need. >> There's more that you need. >> [laughter]. >> This is also the New Year's episode.

We're going to talk about resolutions. Are you a produ Can I be honest with. you? McCon? Yeah. Are you a producer on the. show? I'm your boss. I mean, what Let me ask you. What is. your job description? It's vague and it. changes often. But is it telling me what. to do? I just [laughter] throw out No, is that No, is that your job. description? Telling me what to do? Suggestions. I'm going to feed you the. feed you the ball. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Did. you come up with that segment? Resolutions? Yeah. Yeah? >> [laughter]. >> Yeah. You're new to this. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You know what? We're not doing that. That's okay. >> Yeah, yeah, yeah. You have any other. suggestions? Not right now, but I'll let. you know. Oh, yeah. Now, look what. you're You're getting mad. >> [laughter]. >> Yeah, you're right. You're getting a. little angry and rageful. >> Uh-huh. Right? Resentment. Yeah. Why the. resentment? >> [clears throat]. >> No, why the resentment though? Let's get. this out. Maybe that should be the New. Year's. Mhm. Right? Yeah. Yeah. What's going on? No, there's there's no resentment. Yeah, yeah, there is cuz you're hiding. I can. tell. All right, we're good? Yeah, we're all. good. I can see your face though. You can't hide your face.

When I see you sometimes, like, you know. what. last time we got into a little you did a. face. Yeah. When was it? When was the last time we got into it? No, it wasn't getting It was something. that happened in Phoenix. I don't remember. You got your camera in my face. Remember? No. Yeah. It happens a lot. I don't take these things you say. seriously cuz you're just you're you're. a funny silly guy. >> He doesn't take you seriously. Damn, he. doesn't take you seriously. >> I'm talking about, dude. the most. intimidating guy. He said that to me one.

time. He goes, "Bobby, I don't take him. seriously.". Oh, you want to get You want me to get. intimidated? >> [laughter]. >> You can try. Oh, [ __ ] You can try? Okay. I I love you so MUCH. NO, NO, OKAY, OKAY. I'LL TRY. I'LL TRY. YEAH, YEAH, I'm going to try. I'm going to try. >> You can try. That's my New Year. I'm going [laughter] to try. I'm going to try to be intimidating. Okay. >> Yeah, yeah. That's fun. What are you. going to do New Year? I'm going to try to stay more consistent. at the gym. Okay.

>> [laughter]. >> I was going to say. Chi I ching chong ching chao. Pew, pew, pew. I was going to say you should be. looking for a new job. >> [laughter]. >> Yeah. Might have to replace you. I mean, for your age, here's another thing that. you do that I it's crafty, McCon. Yeah. You got it's his, um, networking. I see. it. >> Oh, you're right. You know what I mean? Like when we're backstage and him. talking to Shane. He's always trying to. cham cham it up.

>> Cham it up, you know what I mean? Chammy. guy. >> And I wanted to go to Shane and go, "Oh, no, that's that's the camera guy.". >> [laughter]. >> He's just a kid camera guy. He did say. that. >> Yeah, I did I say that? You didn't say. that. I I I did say Yeah, I interrupted. them. And Shane went, "No, okay." Yeah, yeah, yeah. >> "He's not talking to me." Yeah. Ooh, you. see he's snapping on you a little bit. This guy thinks he's the [ __ ]. >> Yeah, yeah. I'm just saying what. happened. >> Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is interesting. >> It's interesting. >> Andrew gave him wins though. What wins? This guy. I know. So that's. >> him wins? You pulled him up.

Wings. >> [laughter]. >> Oh. I was like, I gave him wins. Yeah, yeah, I think you influenced him. He. thinks you're he's you. No. Yeah, yeah. He's an extension of your arm. He's an extension of my leg. >> [laughter]. >> Yeah. Okay. >> He's holding on to my leg. Daddy. Daddy. I gave him I gave him right, I gave him. lift. And so now he's flying at 35,000 feet. and he he belongs in a Cessna below. oxygen levels. Right. Where he He thinks.

we're peers. Right. He Do do you think we're peers? I. think at this point we're we're we're. we're. we're work friends. No, that's not what he asked you. Definitely I don't think we're peers, Bobby. I think he's. >> But also I'm not a comedian, so it's a. different thing. Ah. I feel like if I. was like an open micer I want to be a. comic, maybe. Ah. >> Okay, but I'm not I'm not in that world. We work together. >> this side, though. We work together. I. know, but it's like we're there's. different planes. I'm not even Do you. think that you have as much power as I. do on the show? No, be honest.

>> No, of course Yeah. What do you think. the power levels are, though? You're. 10,000 and I'm a you're 50 or so. Yeah. You know? Well, then tell yourself that. >> [laughter]. >> You're 50? Fift- I mean, it's a it's a weighted. scale. I don't know if you're 50. Yeah, I don't know you're 50. What do you think you if I'm a If you're. 50 and he's 100,000, what's Andreas? Andreas is like. 99,000. So he's I Don't make me one of these.

discussions. >> So you guys have talked about this. before, obviously. >> [laughter]. >> Doesn't that sound like they discussed. this? So you're 10,000 less than us. No, this has nothing to do with me. You're. 300,000. Oh, I'm I'm 100,000, he's. 300,000? >> [laughter]. >> 99, 75, 10. And I I 50. And he's 300, I'm 100,000. >> [laughter]. >> Yeah. O- okay, in what way, though? I did the. edit. There's so much control in the. edit. And the influence The original voice of. the show shaped into what he is.

A legend. No, you're talking about Andreas right. now, right? No, I'm talking about why is. he 200,000 more? I mean, just planning stuff. Putting [laughter] stuff together. for. special olympics events. He's trolling. you so hard right now. It's fuck- I. think it's getting to you, dude. I know. Don't let him troll you. You you I'm really mad. I. >> [laughter]. >> What is it, dude? I'm really mad right. now. Cuz he's trolling you and it's. working.

Here's why. We we we come to this every. year. to this point where I get in this mad. and then I forget about it. >> [laughter]. >> That's why. >> The year goes on, I forget, but I think. my New Year's resolution is not to. forget. I'm not intimidating, right? And I have. no power. No, you have less power. >> [laughter]. >> God. >> Yeah, but if either one of us, right, leaves the show, the show's over. >> Of course. Right. So I would say that. we're 50/50. We're 50/50.

>> Exactly. Yeah, but not in your eyes. It Yeah, it's a weighted 50. One 50 is a. little heavier than the other. >> [laughter]. >> Dude, he is I I love He's logged in. Yeah. Okay. That's interesting. >> It's so interesting. That's very. interesting. >> interesting stuff. I feel like he's doing a very good job. and Carlos has stayed like eerily quiet. >> [laughter]. >> He doesn't want to [ __ ] up anything. >> he he's learned. Yeah, because you do. the forgetting thing with me a lot, so I. I have to I forgive. No.

With him I forget. For you I forgive. >> [laughter]. >> I Yeah, okay. Don't get me wrong. I. always remember, but I forgave you for. those things. Right? Yeah, yeah. But for you I forget. I go, oh, he's. he's not as as annoying as I thought. Mhm. Yeah. But then he is. He is. Yeah. I think I'm. just a little sad that you canceled on. Kill Bill today. He canceled as well. I had work to do. You canceled to sleep in. >> [laughter]. >> It started at 1:00 p.m. I had to work.

I hadn't slept in 4 days, I said. Okay. I was I went from Vegas to Phoenix to. here, all right? I I hadn't slept and in. my and tomorrow I have the busiest day. imaginable. So in my mind like Sunday's. the only day I can sleep in. I'm not. going to wake up during my sleep in day. and go, I'm going to go watch Kill Bill. I'd rather sleep in. What do I do, Andrea? I need your advice. >> [laughter]. >> I I we're at a precipice here. I think. Yeah, I would No, I honestly what do I. do? has the balls. You need to play You. need to take some sort of disciplinary. action. Now, is that like a temporary.

suspension from the show? I don't know. What do I do, though? I'm just I'm Be my advisor. I think perhaps a temporary suspension. might be there. I mean, not an. expulsion, but you know, I don't know if. he's terminated. >> Expulsion? You want to terminate? I. don't know. You're he's How close is he. for termination from the I I think I'm. going to do it because he he's not. intimidated and he's not He doesn't. believe that I'm going to do it. You know what I mean? And I'm going to have to do it so that. he believes. I I'm Look, dude, the power's in your. hands. Can I ask you something, Andreas,

real quick before I do what I'm going to. do, right? Who has all the cut footage. of of Bad Friends? You do. The black He. has no He has none of that to blackmail. me or to put it online? No, I have tour. footage. That's why he does have tour footage. Yeah. And I say a lot of things on the tour. [laughter]. Yeah, yeah. >> But that's our property. That's illegal. for him to We can We can We can Yeah, but I think he would if I fired him. You. think he would release something? >> leak that stuff out. He won't. Oh, he got fired?

>> [laughter]. >> IT SOUNDED INTIMIDATING TO ME. YEAH, YEAH. You're fired. Why are you blushing? Well, I just want [snorts] to know if. there's anything I can do to win back. No, don't don't don't No. Oh, that's. good move, though. >> Smart thing. >> Because with your networking, this is. what You're not playing it right. Okay. Yeah, yeah. The play is even if. you believe these things, right, you say. the opposite. Right? There's things that like, you. know, you Pauly Shore or back in when I. was a kid, you know what I mean, or what. Mitzi Shore would say that I like didn't.

believe or like, you know what I mean? But I wouldn't say it out loud. That's. insane. I got you. Right? So it's like. >> the pants on the podcast. >> [laughter]. >> Dude, that They Yeah. You have to do it subtly. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Not as overt, you know what I mean? Like, you know what I mean? You got to. train Take some acting classes or. something. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, how about this? You know what I mean? Do. you want to Do you want to dock his pay? No, just let him die. I don't give a. [ __ ] Well, here's This is fun. No, it's.

okay. What if we give. >> punishment. He doesn't care. I don't. care. What if he gives his money divided. in two? Half to Half goes to Fancy and. then the other half goes to Carlos. No, no, he needs money. So it's like just. let him do what he wants. >> No, he can sleep here at the studio. He. used to. He did it when he had asbestos. >> [laughter]. >> It's like, you know what I mean? I. I worked so hard to get to this place. and people still don't respect me. It's. fine. I'm used to it. He respects you. No, no, I'm I'm used to it. I've seen. it. Raise your hand if you respect Bob. in this studio. No, no, no, put your.

hand down. I don't I honestly, McCon- I. don't care. Any of you guys, all right? That's my New Year's resolution. I'm. just going to do what I do. You know? That's a good start to the year. Yeah. 2026 is off to a hot start. I'll tell you what I'm looking forward. to. >> Well, I want to hear everything. A long winter's nap. Me, too. With mama in her kerchief and me in my. cap. I can't wait. I can't wait to just lay down for like a.

couple weeks and. I I I need it. >> [snorts]. >> I'm going to go on my horse. I want to. go on your horse. >> And ride. and just ride around that game. Ghost of Yo Tai. Yeah. >> [laughter]. >> You know what I mean? Go on adventures. Let's get you a real horse. No. You could keep a mini horse at your. house. >> Yeah. You got room back there. >> what I realized about you the other day? Huh? If you're not good at it, you won't do. it. What do you mean? [clears throat]. So when we were backstage in Phoenix,

right, we're playing that video game. Mhm. And we're like, come on, play. Like, nah. You played one round and that. was it. Cuz if you're not good at it, you won't participate. Partially true. I also didn't care to. play. Yeah, that but I think that's a. part of it. No, no, no. I'll try I'll do. stuff that I'm not that good at. I play. tennis, I'm not that good at tennis. Yeah. But when it comes to stuff like. that, you're like, uh-uh, no. I just it. was It's cool to watch, but I don't care. about video games. I just don't care. I. like the competitiveness You don't like. the competitiveness of it? I love. competition, but I like physical. competition. It was a game where, you.

know what I mean, you had four. characters and you're just trying to. throw them off of a building. >> It's great. It was so It was so fun to. watch. I was more of a The spectating of. it was fun. Yeah. But no, I just I like. physical I like. I like games that I can play. Ah. And. that it's an exerci- it's an exercise of. my We talked about this before. ability. Twitch Twitch is on. I need to. You know what I need? It's either your. way or I need speech class, I think. Yeah. Don't you think? Why isn't anyone. told me I need speech class?

Well, we. >> And the thing is is this, I say that a. lot. Don't I say that a lot? And I say, let me tell you something. We. all We say the same things. >> Yeah, yeah. But it's a it's a habit of. your communication on the show. >> sometimes I'll commit to a word that I. don't know how to pronounce, but then. it'll just come out of the train. I. mean, the train will come out of the. Sometimes it'll come out of the tunnel. too early or whatever. It's a bad analogy, you know what I. mean? Um. >> [clears throat]. >> It's tretsy. Yeah, you do have a little Yeah, I'll. just say it and I go, oh, I don't know. the word. But it's coming out.

>> Let it happen. Who cares? That's the. beauty. That's the beauty of your. artistic mind. You let things fly. Where. I think so fast. That's not true. What you're saying, you're making fun of me? No, I'm say- I. just you doing this made me laugh when. you go, I think so fast. I didn't think. it was a funny. It looks funny. Yeah. I think fast, right, but then I want to get it out too. fast and then it comes out all weird. >> That's how I write. Have you ever read. with handwri- I can't handwrite because. it's there's too much brain going like. and I just can't get it out. Well, more. than anything, we hope everybody's 2026. is off to a killer start. And we are.

still going to be doing Bad Friends in. 2026. We cannot wait. Well, it's here. now. That's right. And 2027, and 2028, and. 2029. And for people that want to know, we in 6 years. the show will be coming to a close when. Bobby turns 60. We're going to throw a. big bash and. show will be done with the You really do. you want to do that? In 6 years. When. I'm 60, we should end it. Yeah. Why? Cuz. I'm going to die? No, I think that's I think you need to. retire. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You need to.

retire. >> from podcasting. >> Yeah. I think 6 years at 60 years old. will be I'll drift into the wilderness. You can just keep living the way you. are. I'll live I'll live. >> [laughter]. >> Okay, I'll go You just won't be doing. podcasting. Yeah, yeah. Let let let's predict where. But the way you I feel at 54, I felt at. 40. It's the same. >> No, no, no. You're You feel better than. I'm going to feel when I'm your age, for. sure. Why? Because I am I'm I eat. unhealthy and I still drink alcohol. Your back discs are hurt. I have back. discs that hurt. >> Yeah. How about this? Let This is a fun. little predictive thing real quick.

Yeah. At 60, when we say goodbye to the show, Mhm. where do you think your life looks. like? What do you think my life looks. like? I think I'll have a kid. That's Okay. By. then. All right. How many. >> I'll have one kid. >> is it? Like it's 18. >> [laughter]. >> I'm going to adopt. Good. I'm going to. adopt an You know what I mean? No, no, you might have a kid. You have At 12. I'm going to adopt a 12-year-old. >> You think at 60 you're you're going to. be in in love and married? No, single. father. Single father. Yeah, with an. 18-year-old Russian kid.

Okay. Yeah, yeah. >> I going to be? Oh, it's going to be great. What? Go on, yeah. You're going to make the stitching on. the on a baseball. >> [sighs]. >> See that baseball? That's going to be my job? >> Yeah, yeah, yeah. >> [laughter]. >> You you. do that red stitching on the So, comedy. I'm out, podcasting I'm out. >> Something's happened, yeah. Yeah, so I. need to go back to stitching. My original first love. Stitching. Yeah, but you're going to be. the best at it. So, I'm the best. stitcher in the world? >> Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, that's good. That's good. Yeah.

Thank you for being a bad friend. >> [laughter].