Don't Bring a White Girl | Ep 277 | Bad Friends

You two are bad friends. Who are these two idiots? A white dude and an Asian dude. You two. are disgusting. Oh, you two are something. We're bad friends. Oh, what a night. rate in May about the 31st. I put together a show of. hymns from Asia. What a night. I'm going to get the lyrics. Oh, what? Oh, what night lyrics? Oh, what a night.

Oh, what a night. By the way, I was in an interament camp. I was full. of glee. What a lady. What a night. Oh, what a night. Late December, uh, 1945. A look in the sky. And what that night.

it was so unbelievably bright. Was it 45? I don't know. I. 45. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. How about uh similar time too from from. the Germans perspective? Yeah. That would have been a terrible night. actually. What? Just you're out, you know. I mean, you're you're you're like, you know, I. mean, picking rice. I don't know how. they do it. Yeah. And all of a sudden, you look in the. sky. I know. What a dreadful. It doesn't even make a noise, does it?

Dude, did you see Have you seen the. rehearsal with Nathan Fielder? He. learned to fly a commercial plane. It's like one of the craziest things I. think I've ever seen in my entire life. Yeah, I think I saw him in a news. interview saying that. But he really did. Wow. Like I thought I was a bit and then I. was like, is this a bit inside of a bit. inside? Cuz he's very layered. He digs. down as deep as he literally flies. He looks like one. a 73. He does look like a pilot. Yeah. Yeah. Does he land? Obviously. Smooth, dude. really. He does a great job, but he had tons of. hours of training. He did all the. training. Wow. So, he flies a a he has a commercial.

airline pilot's license. You need to. watch it, man. That's incred. I want to watch. The guy's absolutely brilliant. Oh, he's so He's top level. He's I know. Can you imagine the. difference between guys like him and us? It's unbelievable. Yeah, he's at the top of it. Like I met another one of our. You think what do you think we're bottom. dwellers? We're Yeah, we're uh What are the What. are the fish at the bottom? Carp? What. are the bullheads? Whatever feeds on. dirt. Yeah, that's us. Dirt, dust, and grime. No, we're like uh. that's us. Yeah, we are that. Yeah, that's you for sure. That's me. That's for you for sure.

That's absolutely me. And go with the. What am I? I'm the black one. That's me. I'm not even the black one. You're an angler fish. Oh yeah. Where am I? I'm That's me, dude. Yeah. Yeah, for sure. That is one of the ugliest fish I've. ever seen in my entire life. I know. It's unbelievable. Would you eat it? Would you eat it? It depends on how hungry I am. See, this is the thing about food. Food. has to look good for me, too. You I. would if I was a chef, I would slice. that up, dude. You I bet you can make it look nice. I would chop the nose off. I did the Ice House last night with and.

I went back to back with Arsenio and I'm. telling you, man, still to this day, Arseno Hall is a jokewriting machine, a. cultural icon, still up on his game. He's on his aame. Not just a game, he's also kind. He's the sweetest guy, man. He's so And. but he's genuine. It's not his. generation like right above you. His. generation has a lot of Well, he's. He's three generations before me. No. What do you mean? He's one class. above you. You're 53. He's 68. What class are you then? Two below you, pal.

No, you're one below me. Two. There's no way. Yeah, there's people in between you and. I. You're 40. I'm 41. You're 53. There's. that. That's the same difference between. me and our singular. You're not listening. There were less. comics back then. The classes were. smaller back the people that made it. back. Are you even reminding that was. the boom of comedy? Everyone's nodding at me. There's way. more comics now today than there was. I was around back then. There was triple. the amount. Not. And then the comedy death. Successful comedians. There's way more. now than there's ever been. Oh my god. This is the most insane thing.

I've ever heard. There's way more comics selling tickets. now on the road than there was when your. generation. You had like 10 guys selling. tickets. There's like 30 people selling. tickets now. Like real tickets. Eddie Murphy. selling tickets. Go on. Martin Lawrence selling tickets. Okay. Jerry Seinfeld selling tickets. Who's that? Okay. Carlin. I mean, the list goes on. I'm telling you, Cosby, there's got to. be more comics now than ever cuz the. internet. There's guys that we don't. even know that sell out theaters that. we're not even aware of. Yeah.

Because comedy is just so broad now. I would have hated to being Bill Cosby's. assistant. I mean, imagine the errands. You go get it. Okay. Like it's like here here's that medicine. that you That's what I'm saying. Why so much? Did you see Rick Jerves got. a star in the Hollywood Walk of Fame and. he and he goes I'm here next to so many. legends. Michael Jackson, Bill Cosby. It. was great, dude. It was great. It was a great speech. He's the man. He just did the Hollywood. Bowl. He sold more tickets. I'm sorry.

Not more tickets. He had the highest. grossing sale at the Hollywood Bowl. because his ticket prices are set. differently, but he had the highest. grossing Hollywood Bowl sale. Wow. Isn't that crazy? Is it crazy? He's so funny though. So famous. So funny. I love all the specials. I know. I begged him to be on this show. and he I think I wrote him a DM one time. and I said, "Would you come on Bad. Friends? I'd love to have you on the. podcast." And he and he just wrote, "I'm. all right, mate." And I was like, "Great. That's good.". Did he really respond? Yeah, he did. Yeah. You know him? No. Oh, he knows us. He knows. We know him. We love him.

He likes us, right? Here, I'll try to find it. Oh my god. I try to find it. I hate I hate rejection. Oh, right. He. just wrote cheers. Oh, cheers. That That's good. No, it's nice. Cheers is Yes. No, I don't think so. Yeah, cheers. Cheers. You know what cheers is? Cheers is the. British thumbs up to a text. When you. just get like a thumbs up, it's like. saying, "Yeah, sure. Whatever.". No, Liverpool won. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers, mate. Yeah, but. Liverpool won cheers. That's a different. cheers. That's a Yes. But otherwise, like they say, um, uh, have a good day.

to me. Go have. give you something else. Huh? I stubbed my toe. Cheers. See what I mean? It's it's applicable. for everything, right? It's kind of like our uh. What's up? This Jamba Juice line is too long. Oh, yeah, it is. I see. Because you could be annoyed. I understand it. I understand. Are you getting geared up and excited. for London and Dublin? I'm actually so. excited to go over there. Yeah. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Yeah. Yeah.

So, on this show, Yeah. what we do is we banter about stuff. And. what I do is I find ways to like lead us. down new conversations. It's so it's so funny what you're doing. right now because a lot a lot of times. you don't agree. Last episode you didn't agree. You negate it. So I just negated you and. don't ever talk to me like that, son. I'll talk to you how I want. All right. You're one generation below. me. Two. No, dude. Listen, old man. Yeah. I'm two below you, pal. You look older than me. Okay, let me. just say this, okay? If no one knew who. we were and we lined us up, right, and.

go, "How old are these guys?" We'd be. the same age. That's not true. Yeah. And that's the sad part. I mean, they do that to be nice to you. cuz you're Portley. They do that to portly guys to be nice. Anytime you see a portly guy, you're. like, "You look young.". Okay. I'm not Portley anymore. It stays with you. Do I still look portly? I What? Carlos, what? You look great. No, I look portly. Be honest. You're like, you're 70% there. You're skinny fat. You're skinny fat. because your body is skinnier, but. they're still fat.

I know. It's the level of health. I looked in my. mirror today. Oh no. You just got to change your diet. Stop. eating trash. I know you're eating. trash. What' you have for breakfast? Nothing. That's not trash. That's not good. That's not bad either. All right. What'. you have for lunch? I didn't eat anything yet. Okay. This is bad. Yeah. You And by the way, there's got to be. something else. It's not intermittent. fasting. You're intermittent. I woke up at 3. What can you eat from 3. to 4? I raced over here. I had to I had to do. things and then come over here.

What did you have to do? I had to look. at my body in the mirror and go, "Oh my. god, I'm Portley.". You're not Portly. You actually look. better than you've ever looked. I'm. shocked. What the Why would you say that even out. loud? You got me all paranoid on a. comedy show. Yeah. Yeah. Oh. Oh, you know what, dude? I'm tired of you lecturing me about. comedy, dude. Okay, say that again. Why don't you Why don't you lecture me. about comedy? Just say get You're excited about. London. Start there, man. I'm so excited to go to London. Me, too. Oh my god. Cheers. My god. What. are we going to do? We going to get some.

[ __ ] crumpets. Yeah, we'll get some crumpets. Yeah. Yeah. I watched a clip the other day. You know what? I see a nutcracker. Are. there nutcrackers out there? Oh, they got them. Okay, good. I watched a clip of a bunch of uh what I. assume to be female footballers and they. were asking them what their favorite. biscuits are. Now, biscuits here, different story. Biscuits there are. cookies, right? Yeah. This is this is interesting. Look this. up. Look it up. Um I don't know. It's a. team. It was like a Tik Tok, but they're. like about to go on a bus. But the point. my point is look at they all said the. same thing. They all said.

chocolate digestives. That's the name of. a cookie. Oh, you have to have those. So good. But they're so good, right? But the name digestive is so offputting. Have you ever noticed though? It does. digest better. It does. It goes right. It goes in and. out. Yeah. Chocolate digestives. Milk chocolate. It's a weird name. Everything about this place is goofy. Zoom in. Look at that. 266 g of. chocolate digestives. Yeah. Wow. Be normal. Look at the name of the. company. Mc Victis. Yeah. Yeah. All right. Get some McVickies there. These guys are cartoon characters,

right? Like they haven't caught up. Look at that though. It They are very. good. I mean, you know, my favorite. the candy Anastasia. A candy Anastasia. Yeah. Would you like a candy anastasia? Yes, please. With a glass of warm. copilosu. Yeah. There it is. Mc Vickiy's digestive milk. chocolate flavor coating waffles. I. mean, it's insane. It's crazy. Since 1839. It's very Japanese, actually. It is quite Japanese. It is. That's also. that that is exactly what Japan. what are they called. Japan people do.

So um what I'm going to say to you is is. that let's start over. Start over. Don't be negative. Yeah. Be positive. Yeah. Yeah. Cuz since we've been here, you've called me um portly. right. I did. Since we've been here. I take it back. You do. Take it back. Okay. I just took it back. You see that I negate jokes. Careful with that word. Yeah. Why? So, you saw MI. What? Do you see Mission Impossible? No. I I We Let's go see it together.

Tonight? You want to see it tonight? Yeah, I have tonight. But it's got to be IMAX. Let's IMAX tonight. But there's only four IMAXes in LA. Let's go tonight. It's the only night I. can do cuz I go to Hawaii Wednesday. Let's do it. Okay. Okay. Tonight. I've heard it's. dinner and and I heard it's not that. good. Yeah. I've heard a lot of different Oh, you. didn't like it? You saw it? I saw it. I think it's pretty good. But. well, the first the first hour is. flashbacks of the previous movies and. I'm a f I've seen every single one so. that'll be very nostalgic for me. I haven't missed one.

It's some white girl that's never seen. it before. Like what the [ __ ] is going. on? You know what I mean? I mean that's not. as you know what I mean HD as you know. you know what I mean? Is that going to be an is that going to. be their promo is like don't bring a. white girl. Yeah. Mission Impossible. Don't bring a white. girl. Yeah. I can't I can't wait to see it because. it's his last one. I hate romantic movies. Anyway, I saw it. last night. Because people are on Tik Tok. You saw what last night? Taken. The original Taken. Yeah. I never seen it before. Oh my god. It's such a good movie. I hated it. What? That movie is so good.

It's after you see all the equalizers. and John Wick and you go back to see. Taken, right? It's like, what is this [ __ ]. This is the problem. It doesn't make any sense. Well, because it's old, dude. The movie. came out such a long time ago. It's not. going to stand the test of time cuz. there's so many better versions. You go. to Paris and all of a sudden there's a. guy that like puts you into [ __ ]. human trafficking. That's [ __ ] That's. never happened. I know, but what? That's happening right. now all the time. at LA. I I have had it twice at LA. Yeah. You've been kidnapped twice. Yeah. Yeah. And I've I've come back. every time though. You have. without a [ __ ] father who's part of.

the CIA or whatever. You know, back on my son. Yeah. I crawl through the mud. I will kill you. Right. Recent grocery. If you have Bobby, I will find you. I will kill you. Dude, the Asian version of Taken would. be so [ __ ] funny. So funny, dude. But they would turn him in right away. Yeah. Can you imagine how quickly they if he. was ever capted, captured, how quickly. would they give him back? If I was in the story, if I was in the story and my dad went to.

the what the brothel, I would have been. like, I want to stay. Leave me here. Leave me here. They have opium. Right. Right. And I'm [ __ ] a lot. You know. what I mean? Leave me here, papa. I would I would stay there. So, you're. telling me that MI is not going to be. worth it to go see? No, it's worth it. It's worth it. It's his last movie in this vein. Yeah. What are we going to do without Tom. Cruz? I'm not even kidding. What are we going. to do? He just did a movie with Ariana. What's his name? Alejandro.

Yeah. Did he do that? Don't ever do that again. Yeah. Don't ever do that. That pissed me right off. That pissed me off. Number one, he he's. doing he already did that film that's in. the can, right? He's thinking about. doing another Maverick. Yeah, I know. But this is something. MI. is so special. There's something about. it. It's like Bond. It's special. It is pretty special. The first one was so good. So unbelievably good. Yeah. I' I've seen. it maybe a thousand times. Me, too. It's my go-to movie to feel. relaxed. What's that song? Oh, Hot Betty. Oh, that's what you look like. Mone.

Yeah. Oh, yeah. Back. Oh, Black Betty. Bangabang. Oh, Black Betty. Yeah. Look at that's mone. Oh, what's. going on here? That looks like you doing. an impression of me. That face he's making. But is that the look you're going for? I just like long hair. I mean, yeah, I. like a 70s vibe. Yeah. Yeah. For. Yeah. Yeah. I think that's what it is. Yeah. Talking to the mic. Why is the mic so. low? I can't hear anybody today. You like a 70s vibe. What are you complaining about all the. time?

I mean, have you seen him today? Everything. Oh, this. You know what it is? I'm anxious. Okay, let's talk about it. Well, I'm. leaving tomorrow for two weeks and I'm. like I'm I'm all every time I got to go. packing the suitcase and my dog sits and. she cries by the suitcase. No. She sits and she she literally puts her. head next to you and goes, "Oh no, I hate it so much. I hate it so much. I hate suitcases." When I roll it out of. the closet, immediately she goes, she takes a breath. Oh my god. She knows when you're gone,

dude. It's It's awful. Not only does she. know when I'm gone, this is something. And look, I know I'm being a dumb dog. guy right now. Yeah. She has no idea when the [ __ ] I'm. coming back, right? She has no clue, right? For some reason, the energy probably. conveyed by my wife in the house or. something. Yeah. She will just sit by the front window. that day. and wait for me to come home. Oh, wow. It's like she know I swear to God, it's. so stupid. I know I'm being annoying, but like it's one of those things where. she won't do that any other day that I'm. gone, but the day that I'm coming back, it's not like she How would she know?

She will sit by the front window. Wow. It's creepy. Their intuition is. You know what my dogs do when I'm. leaving? What? [ __ ] all over the house. No, they go I go, I'm leaving. They go. they go, "Yeah." Yeah. And they just they they. walk away. They don't They don't give a. [ __ ]. That's cuz you have too many foreigners. coming and going in your home. I have three foreigners in my house. Got to get rid of those people. Yeah, I know. Maybe it's the foreigners. [ __ ] them up. They are. They're manipulating them. I have seven animals. No one gives a. [ __ ] And when I come back, they're. like, "Oh, you again. You is this you? You? Is this your. place?". Yeah. I honestly believe my cat Bojo.

doesn't even know who I am. No way. You Bojo loves you. No. Every morning I go, "Good morning, Bojo." And he just, "Where am I?". Maybe he has Alzheimer's. I No, he's always been like that. I've. raised him since a kitten. Yeah. Every time I Every morning he he. pretends like, "What's going on?". Do cats get dementia and Alzheimer's. Do they? He's 6 years old. It starts early. Oh, yes. Cats can develop a form of dementia. called feline cognitive dysfunction, similar to cognitive decline seen in. humans above 52 to 53 years old,

especially those that are Korean. No, that doesn't say that. That says that right there. No, it doesn't say Korean, man. Well, cats with dementia. Dogs don't get. it, though, right? Please tell me dogs. don't get it. Do they have to get it? I don't know. Yeah, dogs can get it. K9. cognitive dysfunction. Yeah. Come Max doesn't know, is it? By the. way, look at this. This is This is what. all your animals do. Signs of dementia. Not responding when called to. Forgetting house training. Yeah. Your dogs piss and [ __ ].

They all Yeah. Yeah. This is all you're. on me. Do they have any play? Do they. have enthusiasm to play or no? No. By the way, getting stuck in corners is. like the saddest [ __ ] Seeing a dog. stuck in a corner. Yeah. Yeah. Oh my god. Nobody puts puppy in a corner. Well, when cats are about to die, you. know what they do? They disappear. Yeah. Well, dude, that's like a nobility. thing. They don't want They don't want. you to see them die. Yeah. That's kind of rad. It is not. Dogs are like, "Look at me. I'm dying. Look at me.". By the way, I saw a cat fight on a walk. the other night. Two cats in the. neighborhood. There's one my neighbor.

has an outdoor cat. You know, he just. roams around and comes and goes as he. pleases. Yeah. And I was walking and he was on the. street over and I was like, "Oh, what. are you doing over here?" And he like. looked at me and then he slowly turned. and and I saw there was another cat. underneath a car tire. Yeah. I was like, "Oh, is this his [ __ ]. enemy, dude?". And he was slowly creeping up to him. And it was like And I'm encouraging. I. was like, "Get him.". Cat fights are so fun to watch, dude. They beat the [ __ ] out of each other. cuz the paw can go up when the paw goes. up and they start smacking each other in. the [ __ ] head. What is that, dude?

Coyote killing a cat. Oh my god. Carlos, see that, Carlos? God damn it, Carlos. They're be They're in my [ __ ]. backyard. I can hear them. You need to be careful though. I know. I have a fence, but still. Yeah, you do. I got to be careful. I hear them. They You know what I mean? A coyote. Yeah. They talk, dude. That's how they talk. They. Asian coyote. What? Asian coyote. They're not Asian coyote. [ __ ] you. What's going on today, man? What is going Hey, why was everything. Asian today? Yeah, let's cut this out. Yeah,

I'm sick of this [ __ ]. I'm sick of this [ __ ]. Sick of this [ __ ]. Yeah, but the thing is is that um. Will you cry when your dog dies? Why are we doing this? Who would you though? It'll be the saddest day of my life. That's what you get. I get more. I know, but if I get more then then more. of them die. I know. But the less you feel. No, I don't think so. I think you probably. feel even more. I think so, too. Like we had a we have. uh in our family a extended family. member they had they did it smart. They.

had the dogs have puppies so when the. older ones died then the next one that. had puppies. So they had they still had. the same like generation. They had like. four generations of the same family. Oh my god. I thought that was rad. That's rad. I was like we should have done that but. we snipped her too early. I have a dog that's 17. Blind crooked spine. Remy. is 17. Yeah. Blind crooked spine. You know what. I mean? You know, and he's like, [Music]. you know what I mean? Good morning, Remy.

You know, I mean, like. crooked spine. Yeah. Crooked about to die at any. second. I want to ask you a real question. Do. you take your dogs and I know the. answer? Have you ever taken your dogs to. the dentist? No, dude. Never. He doesn't go by himself. Can I go first? You got to go. Yeah. Why? Because it can you can cause. brain damage from not having your teeth. Bro, I have so many techniques at home. You have no idea. To cleaning your teeth. Yeah. I don't want to reveal certain. things, but.

reveal. Okay. Um, do you water pick? What? Do you water pick? So, I'll tell you what happened. I don't. I have a toothbrush that shoots water. into my mouth. That's a water pick. I have one. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. So, I bought on TikTok. You know what I. mean? One of those mouthpieces. I was going to buy that. It doesn't work. Of course not. Yeah. Yeah. So, I bought one. But what. you have to do is you have to heat it in. water. No. No. Really? I'm not doing that. All right. Before I. brush my teeth. No. To to have it formed to your teeth. as mouthpiece. Oh.

You boil it and then you chomp down on. it. So, it's like formed like a mouth guard, right? But what happened? It pushed this. tooth into my gums, right? And then I had a [ __ ] boil above on. the gum that was like gigantic, like a canker. It was bigger than that. Like I couldn't. chew on this side, right? This happened for months. Months. Yeah. Yeah. And I thought I literally. thought I had mouth cancer. Like I'm dying, but I'm not going to I'm. not going to go to the dentist because I. already know I'm going to die. You know. what I mean?

You're not going to die. So what happened was I went and got a. bunch of two gigantic bottles of. hydrogen peroxide. Oh, that works. I use that a lot. And it's no longer there, baby. Yeah. HP. So I have my own systems at home. You do? Yeah. Yeah. Simply save. I'm scared. I'm scared, too. What do we do? I don't know. But what does safe at home. mean to you? For a long time, we thought. it was enough to have good locks, maybe. alarm, you know, make some noise if. someone broke in. But after people uh we. know were broken into, we've realized. security takes a little bit more uh.

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And it's crazy. This doctor was like, "Stop getting this.". What What does it do when it gets to the. brain? So So Botox is a thing called botulism. It's actually It's actually a bacteria, right? It it it kills the muscles in. your face. That's why people with Botox. look stiff as a board. It's dangerous. because it can seep into your blood and. into your brain. It co causes brain. damage. Brain's ability to interpret. emotions. Altering unconscious mim. mimicry of facial expressions. Neurobiology and learning and memory. Research suggests Botox have cognitive. and emotional.

uh this says cognitive emotion. alleviating depression. Oh, sure. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Wow. Yeah. Sure. Yeah. Because you feel. better because you look better. But it's. in your [ __ ] brain. What if it goes in your brain and your. brain looks younger? Yeah. That's smart. Yeah. Takes away some of the wrinkles. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's actually a. really good idea. I mean, you're stabbing your face with. botulism. Yeah. I mean, think how crazy that And that's. this. Everybody does this [ __ ]. Wow. You and I should get Botox. Where do you I've thought about it. I've never thought about it.

Where do you want it done? I don't. Okay. Well, then why did you even say. that then? It's for the show. All right. But now I feel like a piece. of [ __ ] for saying get it done. Where would you get it done? My whole face and my [ __ ] arm. You don't have any wrinkles, bud. You're. wrinkleless. Well, then why would you? Oh, like that. There you go. Yeah. Yeah. My 57year-old sister got a fa full face. lift. How do you look? She looks great. Yeah, she looks fancy. She looks like a Remy. That's your 17-year-old spine crooked. dog. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. She doesn't look good. How do I look?

Yeah. I look good. She looks like she's. wearing a mask. Yeah. Hannibal Lectctor when he put the other. face on. Yes. This is what we're turning into. now. Oh my god. Just get old. Look old. I'm going to Washington DC tomorrow. Really, really excited. I get to walk in. the streets by our president. I'm going. to the White House, baby. I got invited. Congratulations. I got. invited. Yeah. Great. Wow. I got invited to the White House and I'm. going to go over there and hang with my. dog. Who's your dog? JD Van.

In the house. In the house. Yeah. Yeah. What? I wonder what he's like. JD. Yeah. Hanging out with. I mean. fun, huh? So much fun. Fun. You think he's fun? His Indian. wife's sexy. He has an Indian wife. I know nothing. about anything. I'm so stupid. You've. never been to India. Would you ever go. in what? How much money do I get? I would I mean I would go with you for. like a bit. a gig. Yeah. No, like a a video.

I would to film it. Yeah. But do you know what the You know what? And they're vegetarian. A Most people. are vegetarian now. Yeah. Yeah, they are. They really are. No, seriously. It's. Well, the cow's not good. Sacred dog. You can't do it. Can't eat the cow. Yeah. No, in fact, the the McDonald's there. doesn't have like. burgers. No, look at that. Only chicken. Okay. 39%. So, just under half. That's a lot. That means approximately 39 of 100. Indians don't consume meat. That's a lot. of people. That's a lot of. How many vegetarians in the United. States? 6%. Nobody. Wow. Wow.

Would you ever switch? I I think I I've been thinking about it. I've tried so many times. I can't do it. Every time I do it, I get really. depressed. I can't function really. When you go to a restaurant like. Crossroads, have you ever been there on. Melrose? Oh, yeah. I got Neil took me there. Yeah. Yeah. It's I' I've been there. It's phenomenal. It's phenomenal. Yeah. So, I could do that every meal. Yeah. But then you got to eat highend. So, this is the different This is the. problem. Are you eating a five-star. vegetarian restaurant every day? No. A. lot of times you're going to have to eat. at home. That's right. What am I You know, I don't even know what to do. Let's say, let me see. I can get bread. Got Yeah. Check.

Yeah. Avocados. Check. Check this out. Bo choy. I don't know. Check this out. Look at this. Check this. out. Anything but meat. Okay. But I I have to rattle through all. of them. I know. You know what I mean? He's like, "Is apples meat?". Yeah. Or pear. You can't even have eggs, right? That's if you're vegan. Oh, but you could have eggs. That's a. good thing. Yeah. Most vegetarians eat eggs a lot. Yeah. Fish. That's pescatarian. Okay. But let's be pescatarians then.

I mean, I I'll be honest with you. I eat. a lot of sushi and fish. And then. So, I do do that. I could do that. But. do they have feeling. fish? Yeah. Like when you stab them, you know. what I mean? Do they go ow? Okay. How about this? I feel bad if they. look cute, right? Like a clown fish you would never. eat. There's no way. No. I saw those hole. Right. Just right from the lake. Yeah. There. Like if you I can't eat I. can't eat nemo. Yeah. No way. Would you eat that?

No, you can't. Too cute. Yeah. Too cute. Ah, that's cute in a weird. ugly way. Yeah, but it's also. But look up tuna. Look up tuna fish. Look at how [ __ ] unattractive these. things are. I mean, look at that big. dumb idiot. I'm eating that [ __ ]. Yeah, that's a cow of the sea. Those are like white walkers of the sea, dude. They look dead. I mean, they look they looked dead. They. look dead in the eyes. Yeah, they look dead in the eyes. Yeah, like sharks. Yeah, we're eating the blubber fish. I've eaten that all day. Going back to that, dude. Get the [ __ ]. out of there. I typed in ugliest fish. Yeah. Yeah. All right. Well, let's do this. You want. to feel good? Do you want to feel good?

We got a bunch of submissions for Carlos. replacement. because, you know, you wanted him fired. like 10 times. Yeah, the Trump thing. No, Andrew is. going, but. Okay. What do you mean? I'm going I didn't. trick him into an invite. I'm actually. going cuz Trump invited me. I mean, JD. invited me. My my dog. I know. I think it's more like jealousy. of things like that that it's getting me. fired. I don't think so. I think you're getting. fired because of your behavior. Yeah. I'm sorry, Bob. All right, let me see these submission. videos. Let's see what we got coming up. Is this really to replace Carlos for. real? Do you think we have any prospects. that are legit? We got some good ones.

Wow, I like that. Oh, this guy. I'm already in. Start auditioning for Carlos's job. I don't have any. Push pause. What's going on in the. background? Oh, there's a dead girl in the. background. There's a dead girl in the background. Wow. Wow. Well, at least. he's also a hoarder, right? He's super. messy. This He's perfect. This is Carlos. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Go ahead. Um, I do know what dos is in the bios.

means. So, I think I'm pretty qualified. for whatever the [ __ ] he does. Um, I am. a single dad, unemployed right now. Uh, uh, children of three. Mother just passed away. So, damn. Uh, I think you should give me a chance. I think I might I might help you guys. out a little bit. You know what I mean? I'm not gonna go to Japan and bring you. back. change out of my pocket. I think I'd.

bring you back. Okay. Definitely some porno push. Hold on one second. He's a raccoon. He's had me and lost me about six times. I know. He He had me. He's funny and then he. lost me and then he was like. then he was cool again. He was like, "Hey, I'm a single father." I was like, "I'm in." And he's like, "And the mother. passed away." I'm like, "I'm in. This is. And then he's like, "But I'm, you know, I'm going to I'm not going to bring you. back stuff that you want from Japan. I'm out." Yep. I'm out. Bring me back. Next submission.

Well, let's What's his name? He just wrote his name was Sharky. I got to say, I like this guy. Especially if he would be in the booth. with his shirt off. Yeah, Sharky's a high contender. Uh, he's up there. Yeah. Yeah, he's up there for sure. We can move on. Shark is the man. Sharky, you're you're. gunning for. I'm going to write this down. Yeah. Can you write it down, please? Yeah. So, I'm going to put Sharky. What. are you ranking on a scale of eight out. of 10? Chances that he'll take over the. job. Yeah. Hold on. Um, what are you gonna give him? Like seven. and a half. So Sharky, Hold on. How do we get one fly in here?

I don't know. I hate it. Why is he on. me? On your wrist. What would you. Sharky? Seven and a half out of 10 to. me. Okay, this is Let's do a half. Let's do. seven. All right. Seven out of 10 for sure. Okay. All right. Go ahead. Next. Who's. this? Okay, we got Matthew Roman. Full name. Oh, look at this. Hey, Carlos. Just finished the latest. episode of Bad Friends. saw your job was. up for grabs, so I want to make sure I. got my application in early. Um, as for. my qualifications, I'm not sure what a. producer of a podcast does. Uh, but I am. good at standing in a window.

Uh, I'm pretty good at laughing at other. people's jokes. I uh can't laugh on. command sadly. Hopefully in the future. maybe I can I can show you more of my. laugh and how good it is. Um, push. pause. We have to do it. Dei. with the DEI. Is that his nickname? I mean, he's mixed. Yeah, mixy. Yeah. Yeah, he's cute. Well, I like that we don't know what. kind of mix he is. That's my favorite. But his lip proportions are perfect. Okay. Yeah, I agree. For kissing. No,

we must kiss our producers. Okay, that's right. That's a part of the job. Yeah, his lips are good. I'm going to. give him a nine. Roman's going to get an eight. Okay, an eight. That's insane to go nine. Nine. Okay, go. ahead. Next one. This is McKenzie McNelte. Hold on. McKenzie. Yeah, maybe we do need a girl in here. Hey guys, McKenzie here. I am from right. outside of Philadelphia, so I'm a Philly. girl. Um, hell yeah. Which I think is what you guys need. I. think you guys need a little bit more. feminine energy up in that joint. Jewels. ain't always there. There's too many. men. That's the problem. There's too.

many men in there, and you have nothing. to break up the monotony. I get it. All right. Second off, Carlos, leave the [ __ ]. Leave Bobby the [ __ ] alone. Soul, dude, she's a 10. Don't tell me about. that. What I think needs to happen here is I. think. some of you guys just need to be smacked. up a little bit. Oh wow. Here we go. She's aggressive. I'm from Philadelphia. I'm half. Is that weird? Oh yeah. Okay. If you guys handle some [ __ ] for you, I. will handle it with a smile on my face.

Okay. Um but in all reality, you know, uh thank you guys for everything that. you do. You definitely get my work week. going to the podcast. Push pause. So that's a nine. That's a nine. That's the difference. She's a nine. And let me say this, Mackenzie. Yeah, Mackenzie. Yeah. Multiple levels of grade. She said, "Leave Leave you alone." She'd. call out Carlos for his [ __ ]. Then she said she'll smack up some. people if we need it. She does look. tough. Okay. And then on top of it, she's. recording this while she's driving. presumably with kids in the car or. something. So, it's taking on danger. I like all.

this stuff. And it's in the rain, no. less. Yeah. Yeah. So, she's This is very dangerous. Okay. I'm influenced by you. So, nine nine. I put it nine. She's up there. Hey, bad friends. Hey, Andrew. Hey, Bobby. Okay. Push pause where he's out. You don't like he said hi to. I don't like the hi. Yeah. Hey, you don't like he said hi Andrew first. That already every day we do a podcast. Hey Bobby, give him a chance. Okay, go ahead. Um, this is my application to replace. Carlos on the show. Um, I feel like I. meet the only two requirements that are. needed to be in the role, which are.

being good at Googling things or I guess. being okay at Googling things and being. Mexican. Um, I also don't do drugs. Uh, so I had that as an added bonus. You. know, if I were to pee in a cup for you. guys, um, you'd probably be able to drink it. Unlike with Carlos, you know, you'd. probably like die in like six days. Um, I'm also a big fan of soccer, so I.

have that in common with Bobby. Although, I'm not going to say what team. I support just cuz I think he wouldn't. approve. He's out. He's out. He's a Manu guy. But here's here's like him. Here's the thing. He's a seven, but. what's his name? Jordy. Here's the thing about him that would. have made that he. if he zoomed out and he was naked from. the bottom down. So funny. would have been so funny. I would have loved it. Let's see again. Maybe just in case. No, no, no. Seven. This is Ethan Vo.

What's up, Andreas? My name's Ethan. I. live in Orange County. Close. California. And I'm auditioning for. Carlos's job. Um, I'm sober. I don't do. anything. I can stand there and uh not. say anything. I like them. I'm fans of Bobby and Andrew. I'm seeing. Bobby in Brea coming up in June. I can't. Yeah, I'm excited to Carlos. I can drive. up to LA and. that's pretty much it. I love this guy. He's I love him.

Precise. And let me say why. He's quick to it. He's He's good-look. Yeah. And also, go back to about 2 seconds. One of my favorite things, he strokes a. beard that isn't there. Watch this. Watch this. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Ethan, I live in Orange County, um, California, and I'm auditioning for. Carlos's job. Ready? Yeah. Um, I can't. Guy strokes a beard that isn't there. [ __ ] unbelievable. He's stroking a beard that isn't there. Dude, I love this guy. He's lost his mind, dude.

He's a nine, dude. Bro, I love this guy. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He's a That Bro, strokes beard not there. I. That's amazing. Let me watch it again. real fast just for fun. I mean, that's. incredible he did that. Yeah. It's not even there. Yeah. Look at this. Yeah. Um, I don't do anything. Incredible. I liked him so much. Nine. Yeah. By the way, he lives here. Yeah, we might. And he's good-look. Yeah. So, what you going to give him a. nine? Abs [ __ ] L. Yeah, he's great. He's also not. annoying. Not annoying at all. Yeah, he's just going to be there. A.

part of the wall. That's right. Yeah. Yeah. We'll have to say that you. can't do stroke things that aren't. there, though. I don't like that. Well, the assumption you're giving him. is that he's he's got to earn camera. time. So, he's going to be in the back. back, right? He's a mime. Oh, he's a mime. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He's going to be back there. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I I don't know, dude. We'll see. Yeah. Okay. Who's next? This is Ernesto Gonzalez. I already like him. Hey, Bobby. What's up, Andrew? Heard you. guys are looking to replace some of the. booth boys. You know, hopefully I could.

uh do that for you guys. Or, you know, my therapist has been saying I got some. some anger issues I need to find out. Is what was that? Well, first of all, take whatever's out. of the microwave, take it out. I know. It's done. It's done. It's done. Yeah. Yeah. But I love this guy. He's got anger. issues, which I like. So, because he. looks big, he could be our muscle. Yeah. Unless because the. He could also be 51. I know. The up angle. Yeah. Up angle. Yeah. Yeah. So, I'm. observing that. Let's see. I think Oh, that's one one last. observation. I think his eyebrows are. way too spread apart for me.

You like them closer? I want them way closer. What do you. think? That's an aesthetic thing. You like what. you like. Okay. Okay. You like what you like. I like what I liked. Yeah. Anger issues I need to find an outlet. for. So maybe I could just be uh Bobby's. henchman, maybe security guard, you know, I could really uh kill two. chickens with one rock here if you guys. let me uh. pause it. And. so it is two birds with one stone. Not in Mexico, but in Mexico it could be different. Two. chickens with one rock, right? Right. It could be different.

I understand. Well, look, chickens are. birds. So he did say the same thing. Yeah. Okay, keep going. I like it. the booth. boys whenever they start acting out. and uh help Bobby out at the same time, you know. Um my name's Ernesto. I'm 23 years old. I am uh I'm 6'4, 300 lb, so I'm a pretty. big [ __ ] guy. I feel like I could. handle those guys no issue. [ __ ] yeah. Yeah, you could. You know, and I I never even I'm I'm 23, never been pulled over before, so I could really be like Bobby's like. personal driver even.

Yeah. Turn the bike. Yeah, you're right, buddy. Take it out. Take it out, dude. Yeah. Yeah. Push. pause for a second. All right. Also, yeah. Yeah. I've never been pulled over before. I I. I don't know what that has anything to. do with it. It has nothing to do with it. Also, what. I don't So, it's a little weird is I. don't even think he's from our [ __ ]. time. No. Oh, he's from the future or the. past? Past. You know why? Henchman. Oh, he's a henchman, right? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Save bodyguard. I mean, henchman is like, where did you. come from, guy? He's another time period. He's posing as. a current day guy. Smart, but he's doing. it right. And they built him in a good.

frame. 64 300. What do you want to give him? I say nine. I say eight or nine. Yeah, I'm gonna give him nine because of my. he's gonna bodyguard me. I like that. Yeah, go ahead. Uh AJ Nicholas, the name. Yo, what's up, bad friends? My name is. Anthony Nichols and I reached out to. Carlos the other day to see if you guys. would be interested in a birth chart. reading for me for your uh your. astrology birth charts for Bobby and. Andrew. And actually, I would do. everyone on the podcast if you guys were.

interested. Push pause. My only question. is where were you at January 6th? Here's the first question I would ask. Show us that chart. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Uh I I like I like the guy. Let's hear a. little bit more. How much more left? Let's hear. I like. astrology is essentially. just at the moment of your birth, wherever the planets were in the zodiac. at that moment you took your first. breath, that is supposed to have. something to say about your life. and I. study ancient Henistic astrology, which.

is like the original form of astrology. Pause. Okay, look, he's not going to be. in the booth because I don't want want. him to know where we do the podcast, but I do want to call him. Mhm. Because he is worth a call cuz he will. give us some astrological insight. Yeah. I don't think we can work because. he's everyday. Do you want a reading? He'd read a lot. You know what I mean? Yeah. I got these crystals for you, buddy. He read me last week. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No, something else changed. Well, I do like him and we do want a reading. from you, Au, AJ. We like you. Let's give him a six. Six and up. Okay. But that has nothing to do with how much.

we like or dislike. Yeah. Yeah. It's just. you're our reader. We like you. Yeah. Go ahead. Sam. Sam Wackman. Sam. What's good, guys? Oh [ __ ] Airpods just died. I'm at work right now. I just watched it. one episode. Pause. I'm at work right now. No [ __ ]. [ __ ]. Yeah. Can buddy. He's like, "Hey guys, just. woke up from a nap.". Yeah. I have to wear this otherwise I pan. that paragliding or Yeah. What do you. I love this guy. Sam, come on.

But Carlos is being an [ __ ]. True. To Bobby. True. I've been watching the podcast a little. bit and I just turned 18 on May 8th and. I moved out on my birthday because my. parents were hella strict. I'm out of. there now. [ __ ] yeah. And I lowkey need a job or else I'm. joining the Air Force and I don't want. to do that [ __ ]. Okay, pause. He needs a job. He's at a job. He's auditioning for a job while he's at. a job. I don't know how much he gets. paid there though, a guy. He needs another job. But I do say. I want to say because what if he goes to.

the Air Force and he dies in a war? What war? We don't know where what wars are coming. up. I do. You didn't get that email? Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Are you not logged in? It's like a young Mike Young. I like. Once I signed up for Kla Harris's. donation uh emails, she tells me what. wars are coming. Yeah. Yeah. We did it, Joe. We have another war on. the way. So, don't you get so much from them? The. amount of spam I have, not from them, from [ __ ] politicians. My phone, my. email, every politician, Republican, Democrat. Oh, I'm all different. Democrat.

You are? Yeah. Loser. I know. I get everybody. It's honestly, it's. shocking how many I get. I got two phone. calls the other day. What are we going to get Sam? It's tough. I don't think he can be in. the booth, but I do think. Why? Um, he's a runner. He could be an assistant. Yeah, he could. help us out. Just 18 is quite young to. be in the booth because you got to have. a lot of technical skills. Oh, so McCone will be threatened. Yeah, that's You know what? Then he's an.

eight. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I think he's an eight. I think he's an eight. Yeah. Good call. Yeah. Yeah. [ __ ] Mone. [ __ ] M. Yeah. You'd be threatened by. that guy, dude. He's better than you. He But he doesn't have as good a hair as. MO, that's for sure. I mean, I don't. even know what's underneath that hat, but it ain't that. Okay. Tell you that. Next one. It ain't that. Cody. Cody James Christian. Hello. My name is Cody Crystal. I'm from. Knoxville, Tennessee. I work at Oakidge. National Laboratory. Uh in Oakidge, Tennessee. Uh but yeah, I just wanted to. submit a video. Uh yeah, Carlos has to.

go. You guys got to replace him. True. Um and I'll. I'll role play like I. He's a 10 for me. Hold on one second. Bob's going off on a rant. He's a 10 for. Things that we like already. Nondescript apartment. Yeah. A lot of closet stuff. He hates artwork. except for this Mcsher tattoo he has on. his right arm, which I imagine is that's what that is. He's also willing, just based on what he. looks like, to do anything. Yeah, the puka shells give that away. Yeah. Yeah.

You don't [ __ ] put those on your neck. unless you're willing to do anything. under the sun. He can do anything for you. And the gauges guy who gauges I'm. gauging him by his gauges and I I like. him a lot. Like, hey, get me some mircat feet. He's like, what do you mean? Right back. here. What do you think in that? Two hours. You're catfree here, man. Here, buddy. Done. Well, name anything. Anything. He can get it for you. Yeah. Name anything. Anything? Yeah. Yeah. Get me Lincoln's top hat. He's like, I have it. Yeah. Yeah. He already He already has. it. I'll ship it to you right now. Yeah. Get me, you know.

Yeah. Give me the gun. Give me the gun. that we used to assassinate Martin. Luther King Jr. Got it. We don't even know where that is. He got. it. He has it. Yeah. Yeah. A toenail clipping from. Cleopatra. Got it. Got it. Absolutely. It's a part of my necklace. He goes, "Give me a give me a bag filled. with Gandhi's pubes.". Yeah. Got it. Who got it? He did. He has it. He's got it. But he has it in those closets. They're right there. Yeah. They're all stored in his closet. He has everything. All right. So, 10 for the nine. Nine. I'm going to give him a nine, dude. What's his name again? Cody.

His name is Cody. James Christian. in love. In love with Cody. There's one big hiccup. What? Knoxville's very far. It's the other. side of the country. He'll move. God bless. Yeah. Yeah. Do you want to watch any more or move on. to the next one? I want to move on. Yeah, we're going to move all of them. Yeah. Yeah. I think there's very. there's got to be a 10 in there. Arsenal. Ariselli Esparza. Oh, I was close. Oh, okay. Friends, my. name is Ariselli. I am inquiring about replacing Carlos's. job. I have zero experience in show business, but I have my bachelor's degree in. sociology and I have my master's degree. in social work. I have quite a bit of.

few years of professional experience. outside of college. Also, please don't. hire me. I love Bad Friends. I love. Andrew. I love Rudy. I love Bobby. I. love the whole crew. Please, Bobby, forgive Carlos. Love you guys. Pause her. We are going to hire her now. The fact that she was like. psychological. Yeah, that's always she's [ __ ] good. That kind of [ __ ] always works with me. Don't go to the party. I'm going to go. Yes. Take her information and log her cuz we. need to FaceTime her. Also, we need Adora.

Yeah, we need a Dora. Yeah, we've That's the element that's. missing here. Adora the Explorer. Hola, bad friend. You do need a Dora. Yeah. Hello, Bad Friends audience. So, what are you going to give her? Can you find the racism in this episode? Yeah. Nine. It's everywhere. I think she's a nine. Okay. And she doesn't want the job. That's why. I need to give it to her. Yeah. Yeah. What's the next one? Well, the last one is Aaron Lopez. Aaron Lopez. Another good another Latino. name. And by the way, okay, love them. Let's go. Let's see him. Bobby, look up. Hey, what's up, guys? My name is Aaron.

I'm 29. I'm from Chicago. I currently. work as a real estate agent and for. Progressive Insurance, but I have a lot. of sales experience. Since I used to. work at Foot Locker and T-Mobile for a. lot of years, u my party trick is. shoving my fist in my mouth. Oh, wow. Wow. People love it when I do that. I have a. lot of creative ideas. I currently help. my girlfriend with the Tik Tok page. We've been doing it for a few months now. and we're almost at 50,000 followers. Uh. we've actually gotten John Cena to post.

one of our videos and we get a lot of. interactions and a lot of reposts from. other wrestlers. It's mainly WWE. content. are. he took this very serious. It's too serious for me. I like it. He's. very resume. I work at Nike corporate. and. but it is funny to give a professional. resume and then put your fist in your. mouth. Yeah, I think that's what it is. The justosition is awesome. It's. awesome. I like that. Open phone. If you're running a. business, you know that every time you. miss a call, you're leaving money on the. table. When every customer conversation.

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because you need to go get seen. And I love it because you can filter out. for doctors who take your insurance or. located nearby and are a good fit for. any medical needs that you might have. Like. here's the problem. People go, "Hey, Bobby, how are you going to be able to. find a doctor with that that can do that. near you?" Well, guess what? How do I do it? Zachdoc, you can book in. network appointments with more than a. 100,000 doctors across every specialty, mental health to dental health, primary. care to urgent care, and even arm care. after falling down on the ground. And once you find the right doctor, you. can see their actual appointment. openings, choose a time slot that works.

for you, and click to instantly book a. visit. Helped me out when I moved and I'm. thankful for Zdoc for getting me a new. doc near me, takes my insurance. Stop. putting off those doctor's appointments, Bobby Lee. Go to zdoc.com/badfriends. to find and instantly book a top rated. doctor today. That's zdoc. zc.com/badfriends. zockdoc.com/badfriends. Can you do it? No. And I won't try. Okay. Cuz I don't want that screenshotted. Yeah, you will. No, there's no chance. I.

don't want to do it. Yeah, I can't do it. That's incredible. That's a It's an eight. It's an eight. Yeah. So, what it's boiled down to me, we have three nines. The nines are whom? McKenzie, right? The Philly girl. Arceli and Cody. Yeah. So, here's my debate. I do think. we need female energy in the booth. because these three pigs have been up. there doing their [ __ ] [ __ ] for. far too long. I think we need another female. submission. I agree. We need Okay, so how about. this? We're logging these in. Please. submit females only on the next round.

because we have to get one or two more. females because then we can then we can. call them all. We can get down. I think you're right. We need female. energy here. We do. Yeah. Yeah. Shark Sharky with the shirt off was. cool. He's single dad. I don't know. The Cody for me. It's a home run. What about the big guy? What about the 6'4 300lb guy? Yeah. What was he? Ernesto. Ernesto. Ernesto got a nine, too. Yeah. So, put him in there. Yeah, we had a lot of nines. We have. McKenzie. So funny. You're like, we already Cody. and Arlli. All right. Yeah.

We're locking that in. You guys remember. that. And then we're going to we're. going to whittle it down. And the next. time we're together, we have to FaceTime. these candidates and see what we can do. Someone will have an opportunity to come. up here by the fall, end of the summer, the fall. Carlos, how does that make you. feel to see your job kind of going up in. smoke? Well, because of y'all, I'm actually I'm. pretty qualified for a lot of really. good jobs that would probably pay me. more. Damn. I'd probably get a job at any talent. agency. [ __ ]. You going to make him throw a water? [ __ ] [ __ ] dude.

Let me tell you something. It's true. When you want to go, you're more than. welcome to go. Yeah. Don't even say goodbye. And this is something. this is something that I'm going to. share with Bobby right now. I'm going to. share something with Bobby right now. that I probably uh shouldn't. I know a lot of things but please. a little a little piece of privacy that. somebody bestowed upon me and I'm I'm. going to blow up their spot. Please. Andreas the other day Andreas the other. day goes uh I'm ready for the next phase. of my life. I don't want to do the show. too much longer. He said that. Speak your mind.

Did he Did he [ __ ] say that or not? But it was like in a Spanish way. Probably more. Bobby. Listen up. Interesting. Tell the truth. Be honest. Stroke the beard. Stroke the beard. Interesting. I was saying in a philosophical way, not. in a practical, not in a literal way. Exactly. But eventually, you do want to leave. Let's be honest as a family. Yeah. Let's get it out on the I think. that's the problem here is that we're. hiding what we really feel.

Is that what you're doing? What? Hiding how you really feel? We're so honest here. Wow. He's taking so many shots at you. today. I'm with Andrew for life. For life. As long as he makes you money. Wow. You know he's doing You know what he's. doing? He wants out. He's wants out. Yeah. Yeah. No, that is so like you doing some mind. trick on me to quit or something. Well, let me tell you something. I have. a buddy that drugs. It is a drug, but I have a friend that I. know that worked at Foot Locker and at. Progressive. I got a buddy.

Yeah. So, we can get you. I didn't say I wanted to go. You said before this whole thing. started, you literally just said, "I. have enough qualifications now. can go. do get another job. I have a friend that that has a cyclops. eye. All right. He got fired. I could get another job is. what I'm saying. Okay. Well, that sounds like you don't. care if you do get fired. No, I do care. And you know that. Well, see now. No, we don't. We don't. He got. We actually don't. We don't know that. Do you know that? I don't. Yeah, we don't. So, convince me that. Damn, dude. Damn, dude. Bro, I'm enraged today. He's. honestly [ __ ] good.

I'm so enraged. Why? Go toward more toward him, I guess. No, no, no, no. You can't really do. that. I don't know. We got the submissions in there. Carlos. obviously is threatened. He's getting. defensive and a little mean, and that's. fine. Here's the biggest trick of all. I don't know. You know what my opinion is? What? Oh, you want a real [ __ ] watch? You. want. Give me a watch, dude. All three of these schmucks are gone and. we get three new people from that list. Oh, it's so fresh. The fans would love it. That'd be great. We should try for a bit.

Yeah. Yeah. Because. you're ungrateful, Andreas. Fact. You should never leave this. fact. Right. Yeah. Cuz if you leave this, guess what? What. happens? What happens? No zombie movie. No zombie. That's right. No. A lot of the things you you lose. access to us, right? Cuz I'd be furious. You'd be mad. Yeah. What about McCone? He's your [ __ ]. He is. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know what happened. He's my little toy. And the reason why I. turned on McCone all those years is.

because I saw him go towards you, right? So I can't he can't get all that love. That's right. I do love the guy. You know what I mean? But it's like um it's too much love. Too much. Yeah. And you Carlos Oh, you just blew. that [ __ ] smoke in my face. You're vaping on the show and you're. blowing it at us. Yeah. Yeah. It's so rude. I only smoke joints. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You know what it is? He got celebrity. from this. Yeah, he did. We [ __ ] it up. Yeah, we [ __ ] up. That's awesome. And I will say. something. These guys are all irreplaceable. We. love them so much. They're our brothers.

We should do it. They're our brothers. We love them so. much. But we do want to bring in. somebody. We're interested. I really. want this to take place. It's good fan interaction for. celebrities like you to interact with. normal. He's being facitious. It's so funny when. he takes shots. I know. Well, let's bring in some of the. students then. How about that? Yeah. Cuz maybe someone in the student pool. Maybe. Yeah. Yeah. Let's grab some. Does anybody want Let No. Let's see. Incentive. Don't grab them yet. Just don't grab anybody. Go back in your. booth. Don't grab a woman. Here's I want them to have incentive.

Incentive. Right. Incense. You want. I can't you do that. Well, I can't hear you. Okay. Incentive. I want them to have incentive. I want to. be incentivized. So, they need to volunteer themselves. and walk in. Okay. Volunteer for someone to walk in. Whoever wants to be on the uh first up. Go ahead. Who is. Hi. Hi. Take a seat there. You want both? We get both. Oh, both is fine. Both is fine. Both is fine. Uh, do we have a camera for two or no? Yes, we do. Did you get your pants from Target? No. Urban Outfitters. Actually, I'm kidding.

Is that a shot? I don't know why I did that. That was so. rude. Very weird. Oh, yeah. Because they're nice cuz pose. pancakes and fries. Somebody had to serve breakfast this. morning. God bless. Serve it up, girl. Go off, queen. Yeah. Put. serve. She's serving. She's serving. She's serving. Yeah. Uh, what's your name there? Uh, in the. blue chair. I'm Sophia. Sophia. Put the mic up towards your. mouth so we can see. Try to be a little. louder both of you if you. Sophia. Sophia, do you broke the mic? What's going on? 5 seconds. She breaks the mic. Yeah. Yeah. No, it's fine. Sophia, what is going on, dude?

Sophia, what are you, Johnny Rotten? She's. [ __ ] destroying the set. Rotten. It's very funny. Yeah. Yeah. What does this say today? God save the. queens. Yeah. Yeah. Hey, so Sophia, leave it alone. No. No. Have her fix it. I want I want. her to work under pressure. Fix it. Sophia, fix it. I'm trying. Yeah. What's your name? Amanda. Hi, Amanda. While you're fixing that, we're going to talk to Amanda. Okay. Yeah. Amanda, you guys are both at Quinnipic? Yes. Are you both East Coast kids?

Yes. Where are you from? Jersey. Central Jersey. If you believe. in Central Jersey, you don't. I'm a big believer. It's a real place. Yeah. I honor it. Sophia and Amanda. Yes. Sophia, where are you from? Long Island, New Jersey. You. You didn't fix the mic. Yeah. Yeah. You. got to fix it. I don't know where it came from. Trying to figure it out. Don't worry about it. Okay. Don't worry. You're from Long Island. How far out? Middle. What town? You're both from Middles. Middle Jersey, middle middle long. island. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Like, you know, Suffach County. Yeah. SuffK. Yeah. Yeah. I'm like right in the middle.

Give me your home address. I'm driving. there in 5 days. I'll be driving. through. I'll say hi to your parents. I'm not even kidding. Wouldn't that be. fun if I stop by? Cuz I'm going out to. Long Island. So, I'll be going out way. out. So, I could stop by. I'll never stop by. No, that's true. So, what year are you. guys at Quinnipic? I'm a junior. I'm going to be a senior. next year. I'm going into my third year. What? So, but you guys are what, let me. guess, 21. No, 19. I'm 21. You're 19. 19. Yes. She's about to be a junior. Okay. 19 and 21. So, you're you're almost on your way.

out. Yeah. Do you have any hopes for the future? A lot, actually. And what are they? I want to work in the music industry. postgrad. Music. Oh, that's why you had Bad Friends, huh? That's good. Exactly. Yeah. What What do you want to do in the music. industry? Something like like. I want to do marketing for a record. label. Ah. Oh, very good. Yeah. What about you? Um, kind of whatever can get get me on. my feet. And. yeah, you're my kind of person. Yeah. Already. Yeah. This is so funny. She's you. She's me. I know. This is the weirdest thing. She's you.

She's me. What What are your skill sets? Just say nothing. Nothing. Yeah. Yeah. Good. You're me. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And you have a litany of skill sets. You. can do a lot of things, huh? You're a. good student. I can. You work very hard. Yeah. This is. interesting. Did you get straight A's? Yeah. Oh, [ __ ]. No, you did. Yeah. Not me. No, I don't. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. See, that. right there is me. You You You don't. stand on anything. You go back and. forth. That's great. Flip-flop. What do you watch? Um horror. Oh. What's your favorite horror movie? I. be a huge.

top three horror movies. Go. Uh Scream the original. Um. I guess the Fear Street series. Yeah. Yeah. What are you guys best friends? We're going to be after this. Cuz you look at her like you she knows. your answers, huh? Yeah, we do. We're both horror fans. Oh, are you guys close in. What's a Fear Street series? What is. that? It's like. It's like a Netflix original series. They just came out with a fourth one. Yeah, Fear Street. And it takes place in like a long time.

ago. They're like kind of spoofs on the. original slashers. Cool. Yeah, that's cool. Okay. Like what what does Arl Stein have to do. with it? Arl Stein is the one who did Goosebumps, The Haunting Hour. I know that, but I'm. saying why is that? Is he have anything. to do with Fear Street? Oh, RL Stein wrote the original Fear. Street. Yeah. Prom Queen. Oh, look at that. Well, is it It's campy then. Very. Yeah. I don't like it. Oh, that's not real fear. Cuz RL does do campy stuff. He does like.

kind of like kitschy. Yeah. Isn't Right. Yeah. Kitschy. Yeah. I. mean, you don't like The Exorcist. Not really. Right. You like it to be like light and. goofy and kind of like joking of it in. and of itself, right? I like it to look fake. Yeah. Right. Exactly. like kind of he's. right behind you, right? Spaghetti western type of. goofball whackadoo. Hereditary. loved hereditary. Now we're. parasite. You like that kind of. I did not like that one. Right. They don't like. Parasite's not a horror movie. I know. They don't like gross, weird to. psychological [ __ ] up. They like on.

these goofy. kind of makes me mad. That's all right. Oh, it makes me mad. No, they they. That's not real horror. I'm not saying parasites are I'm saying. they don't they like. No, not you them. Oh, Fear Street. I'm not going to watch. that. Give me Fear Road and I'll watch. Yeah. Yeah. Do you know this show? Have you ever. seen this show? Yeah, we've seen it once or twice. Oh, cool. You've heard of it, but. Jesus. Okay. You're not nervous here. They hate us. I know they do. I can tell. I know. Yeah. Yeah. Fear Street. Uh, we've seen this show.

series. It's sophomoric. Well, wow. Sorry. I'm sorry. You hate us. So, you want to be in the music. industry. We don't know what you want to. do. Something that involves Entertainment. Yeah. Like a producer. Can you write? No. Okay. What can you do? Give me one thing that you do very well. Photography. Okay. So, photographer. Okay. That's a good start. Yeah. What do you have? Like a a bunch of. cameras? I have one. Yeah. What is it? Uh Canon Rebel T6.

Look it up. I want to see what what it. looks like. The Canon Rebel T6. Rebel T6. That's a camera. Now, that is. that's a real camera, right? How much is that camera? Look, it says it right there. $1,200. Wow. No, it's uh 400 bucks. It was It's very old. So, you bought it when it was cheaper. than that? Yeah. All right. Like 2016. Good for you. Is it digital? They are digital. Yeah. Everything is. now. Okay. I don't know. So, you're out there snapping pics? Yeah.

Yeah. And what you is this is your hobby. or you you're trying to slow Is this. something you really want to make your. career but you're afraid to tell. everybody? No, it's more of a hobby. So, you have no future. Exactly. Actually, no, I think you do. I just don't know. what it is. I'm trying to figure out. what. I want to do something like with social. media, but I also want to do managing. managing of. talent. Yeah, you want to manage talent. That's what you're going to do, right? Why don't you move out here and become. like a. Do not move out here. Do not They don't want to move out here.

They're East Coast kids. They're going. to stay east. Lionsgate has that job open right now. Manager social media, WWTV Marketing. Yeah. Also, you could get it like a mail. room job at an agency. Yeah. Very hard to [ __ ]. Yeah, that's a hard gig to get now. We have connections. We don't [ __ ] know her. That's right. I can't vouch for something we just met. for the first time. I mean, she doesn't even know if she. wants it. I know. That's right. You just have to. want it. I'm willing to try anything, though. You have to work hard, though. And it's. it What? Are you calling me not a hard worker?

We don't know. I have no idea. Yeah. You don't even. I can't tell. You don't even know what. you want to do really. I can't tell if you're ext if she's like. very uh smart and astute and good at. stuff and she's playing with us and. she's just toying with us. But this is my energy, right? You like this. Yeah, cuz you look at me. Ask me with. something. What do you do? I don't know. Oh, right. Same. Yeah, same thing. Yeah. Yeah. That's who I am. All right. Well, Jersey knows she wants. to be in the music industry. And has. Quinnipic been great? We visited your.

school. Yeah. I actually came in as a criminal. justice major. So, I'm like I I made the. switch my freshman year, but it's been. great to me. What are your What does your mom Excuse. me. Yeah. What does your mom and dad do? They both work in the steel industry. Vague. I like vague. Well, my dad has an engineering degree, so he does all the engineering kind of. stuff, but. he definitely wanted me to be a doctor. And then your mom, what? She works in. more of the clerical side. So, she does. a lot of. I thought she was.

Do they work together? They used to. That's how they met, right? Yeah, I could see that. That makes perfect. You're that you have that kind of. energy. Are you an only child? Yes. Yeah. Saw that coming. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I could feel it. Now you you're. definitely not an only child. And you. [ __ ] hate your older sister. I am an only child. You are. That's why I was like, why? What do you think? You're psychic. I was trying. That was the biggest fail I've ever. seen. So embarrassing. I tried. Our guy gave me influence. The. astrological guy was making me feel. so You don't have the talent.

No, I don't got it. Yeah, you don't got it. I don't got any [ __ ] talent. You're. an only child. Yeah. What does your mom and dad do? Mom's an accountant. Dad's a mechanic. Car mechanic. Yeah. He owns his own shop. Yeah. Blue collar. Well, shout out his shop. I'm blue collar. I come for blue collar, too. What's your dad's shop name? He comes. for blue collar. Get [ __ ] dude. You live You went to a. country club. You lived in a mansion. growing up. Yeah, but my dad had a blue collar job. It's not blue collar when you own a. shop. [ __ ] liar. Fashion gal. His dad. owned. My dad owned that. retail. That's not blue collar. You. don't understand what blue collar means.

It's that's laborers. You lived in the richest town in. Minnesota. Yeah, you [ __ ] liar. Shut up. Oh. yeah. Blue collar. Uhoh. Her father works with his hands. That's. blue collar. Yeah, but he owns his own shop. How is. that not apply? He uses his [ __ ] hand. My dad worked. He had no employees. He. worked every day. That's cuz he was a cheap Korean [ __ ]. He didn't want to hire anybody. Okay. But see those mannequins? He put them together. Yeah, I know. Okay. Do you know why it's called blue collar? No. Seriously?

Don't. Please don't do this right now. I'm being serious. Yeah. I look like a fool. No, but think about it. They have a collar. and it's. blue. Right. And versus white collars, usually. guys who wear suits. Right. Right. Right. Okay. Right. So people Right. Okay. My dad didn't wear a suit. That's right. He wore a blue collar shirt. No, he didn't. No, he wore a blue. t-shirt. No, blue collar. He didn't wear a collar. Yeah, I did. No, he wore t-shirts. Fashion Gal t-shirts. Okay, that's what he wore. Okay, that's what he wore. Okay. Anyway, let's go back to. What's the name of your dad's shop? Can. we see it? We We can cut it out.

Old Nickel Service Station. Old Nicholls Service Station. If your car is broken down, go to O. Nickel Station. in Long Island. In Long Island. Is that it? Yeah. Yeah. That's [ __ ] awesome. That's obviously your last name, Nichols. Nope. Who's old Nichols? Huh? I Yeah, it's clever. By the way, it would be better if it was. nickels. Like the coin nicke like old. nickels. I think someone died outside. Oh, who died out front? Family member. plants.

Oh, they died. That's a death burial. That is a burial. Who died there? Old Nicholls. It's on Old Road. Okay. Well, thank you. We're going to get the. next group in. You guys are great. You guys are great. Thank you. Give it up for them. Yeah. Yeah. Give them a round of. applause. Long Island and Jersey. Very nice. Two of the best. Two of the best in the. game right now. Old Nichols Auto Center. Old Nicholls Auto. Bing bang boom bam boom. Is that your. car making a noise? Boom. Boom. You got. to take it down to the boys. Boom. Boom.

Old Nichols. We'll fix up your car. Next. Boom. Boom. Boom. You'll go far. Old Nichols Auto Center. Incentive. Yeah. Back up. Incentive. Incentivized. Back up. Yeah. Whoa. Yay. Yay. Hey, two more students. Yeah. All right. What's your name? Where are. you from? You do? I'm Judy. Judy. Judy. We love We love Judy. Judy, where where.

are you from? I'm from North Carolina. Which part? Carrie. I know Carrie. You do? I do. What's there? My dad's from North Carolina. You know. that? My dad's from a small town called Vald. You don't know it? Nope. It's near. Hickory. You do know Hickory, though. Yes, I know. Hickory. Is that where from Hickory Cheese comes. from? That's exactly right. It's No, it's Hickory Furniture. Okay. All right. Judy's from from North. Carolina. And what's your name? I'm Zoe. Hi, Zoe. Zoe. Zoe. Very calm. Where you from? Where you from, Zoe? I'm from Long Island. Long Island. Do you know about Old.

Nichols Auto Center? I don't, but now I do. Yeah. Yeah. Let's play a game. Guess the race. Guess the race. Here we are on Guess the Race on. Guess the Race. Yeah. You're half of. something. Yeah. I'm a quarter of something. You're a quarter of something. Quarter. A quarter. Hm. Let me guess. I already. know. You got to be a quarter Asian. Well, yeah, dude. But which one? That's. that I anyone know. You can't guess quarters of what? It's. watered down. There's no way to know. I can I can tell. Okay, which one it is? My instincts says Chinese. Hey, can I just.

Am I right? God bless. Wow. You do have psychic abilities. I told you, dude. He has it. I know my Chinese. Did you know your Chinese grandmother or. grandfather? Um, no. I didn't. They before I knew. them, but yeah. My mom's half Chinese. So, your mom's half Chinese. Yeah. Yeah. And your dad is what? Wait, boring. You have Chinese, Judy? Are you Chinese? I did want to guess. Did you guys Did. you guys want to guess? I know mine. might be hard. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Judy, I feel like you might be Puerto. Rican and uh and uh Puerto Rican and um.

Moroccan. and Moroccan. Yeah. Yeah. Did I get it? Yeah. You got it. 5%. Yeah. Knew it. Knew it. Yeah. All right. So you guys are Quinnipiac. and you're what ages? What years at. Quinnipiac? I'm a grad student. Yeah. You look more mature. You look. like you're you you've you've been. through the gambit. Yeah. And what about you? I'm going into my third year. Third year. You know, you know, it's so funny. I was going to. wear my Brad Pitt t-shirt. Really? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So Pascal fan.

that he is the man. Yeah. Yeah. This guy's a [ __ ] mega baby. Why? This guy thinks he's Pedro Pascal, by. the way. Yeah. Yeah. Stupid Spaniard. And Judy, what year are. you? Is this your first year in grad. school? Yeah, it's a one-year program. So, you're in and out. I'm almost done. Yeah. What do you want to do, Jude? Judy, I want to be in uh sports media. Sports media. Like, you want to do on. camera stuff? Yes. Easy. Easy. You got it. Caitlyn Clark, you know, another three. That's you.

That's me. Oh, yeah. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, you are She's very personable. What do you want to do? I'm studying film. Film. You want to be what? Do you want. to be on camera or behind it? Um, probably behind it. Behind it. I can tell you want to be a director. Yeah, actually I I could see that. I can see that. Yeah, I can see that. You want to be a director? You think you you think you'll Oh, you. like editing. We need an editor. cuz we're about to lose one. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, we do. Andreas. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You think you could edit as good as he. does? I mean, maybe.

Dude, I like that. You seem like you have deep film. knowledge. What's your top five films, my friend? I can't do that. Top three. Oh, give just give us a chunk. of films that mean. Well, just give me a chunk of films. I'll say My Cousin Vinnie. Oh, such a good movie. Good. Fantastic chunk. That's it. That's it. Okay. That's a movie she likes. I have some more. Okay. My Okay, give me some more. Okay. I I could go Singing in the Rain. Singing in the Rain. Singing in the. Rain. It's a classic. Yeah. It's very sweet. And then. it was shot in about an hour and a half. I don't know if you know that.

Yeah. Yeah. Singing in the rain. Quick, quick film. Who's in it? Sinatra. Who's that? Fred a stair. Fred. What? Jean Kelly Jean Kelly. sing. just. it's so white that movie I can't even do. it. I get like trembles when I watch that. movie. I'll do your version then. Yeah. Me? Yeah. Screaming in tsunami. Yeah. Yeah. That's that's a movie I want. to see. That's a good movie. Yeah. Screaming. Have you guys ever seen this show?

No. Okay. Good. Have you heard of the show? No. I've like seen like online. Tik Tok. Oh, so you're vaguely aware. Yes. You nothing. No. Something like every Tik. Tok. Well, lock in. You'll you'll you'll. be one. You'll be a Tik Tok here in a. couple of weeks. I mean, you're on the show now. Yeah. Yeah. How do you feel about that? Uneasy. My favorite thing about this show is. people who get on this show because of. this stupid program that he does, they. don't want to be on this [ __ ] show. You know how many millions of people. want to be on this show? It's the.

funniest thing in the world. People who. [ __ ] are like, I don't know these two. dummies. Yeah. Yeah. But it's great. I call them dummies. We're us dumb. Oh, okay. See, that's how dumb you are. You don't. talking about you. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm dumb. Yeah, I am. dumb. Yeah. Dumb. Yeah. Yeah. Judy, what's a dream job? ESPN. Yeah. Yeah. ESPN. Listen up. Disney, ABC, Hulu. We have We're working with Hulu. Give this girl a job. Yeah. Give her a job. Now, what's what sport would you want to. cover? Basketball. Can you give me like a wrap-up of a game. just as best as you can just give me. like a wrap-up like, you know, like do. what Doris does sometimes or something?

All right. So, the Indiana Pacers just. defeated the New York Knicks in game. six, and we had Pascali Akam as the. finals MVP. They'll be looking to go. against the Oklahoma City Thunder next. week. You're She's great. ESPN, what the [ __ ] are you waiting for? What are you waiting for? Right. That was incredible, dudy. It's in the bag. Yeah. All you have to do is not screw up the. next year of grad school. Okay. No drugs, no drinking, uh no dropping out. Okay. Stick to it and you're good. Yeah.

For three. Okay. And you do drugs, drink, make film. That's the only way to do it. Two. opposite ends of the spectrum. Sounds good. Give them that. You guys are amazing. Appreciate it. That there's no other students. We got one more. Oh, there's one more solo. Should we do one more? Yes. Put them in. Just do one more. Oh, Mike closer to your mouth if What's your. name? Rachel. Rachel. Miss Rachel. Miss Rachel. Miss Rachel. Where you from, Miss Rachel? I'm from upstate New York. All right. On. Albany. Albany. We've been up there. The egg. Yep. Yeah, we've been up there. Yeah. Yeah.

Have you have you gone to the egg to see. a performance? Not to do a performance, but when I was. younger, I did like drama classes and my. performances were there. at the egg. Wow. What roles have you done? I was like in middle school. It was like. Doesn't matter. I was in middle school. I did I was a Huckleberry Finn. I don't remember. I think. I was. They were like original plays. I don't. like one. I was like, "Can you sing?". No. Oh, but you can act. Not anymore. Oh, you've given it up. You lost a touch. What are you doing at Quinnipic? Um, I'm a media studies major. So I I'm.

also not really sure what I want to do. So. that's okay. We don't either. And he's. 53 years old. Yeah. I don't have you. I like your. whole look. Thank you. It's really cool. Where do you get. clothes? Thrifting. Um yeah, this whole outfit is thrifted. actually. It's amazing. Thank you, Miss Rachel. So what year are you? Let's. get Wait a little further. Miss Rachel, let's guess what year Rachel is at. Quinnipic. What What year? Freshman, sophomore, junior, senior. Let's on the count of. three. One, two, three. Junior. Junior. Yes. I'm good, dude. My psychic [ __ ] is on. I. only know sophomore and junior. So I. thank God.

And I can I'm psychic. Oh, senior and junior. Uh and freshman. Very good. Thank good. So I'm psychic. I can guess. I bet you. she's from I bet you're from Albany. Yeah. Pretty good. Where did she. upstate New York? No, we're going to cut it to make it. look like I just said that. Okay. Here's here's one. Let me guess. what? Your parents Your parents still. together? Mhm. Okay, good. Let me guess. Your father. works for the government. Yeah. No [ __ ] way. Yeah. What does he do for the government?

He's a mailman. Uh, that technically is the government. That's not what you were thinking. And your mother is a used to be a nurse. No teacher. [ __ ] Teacher. Oh. Oh. Oh. Your mom. Oh, yes. I know. She's dead. She died. No, she's alive. Thank God. Rachel, thank God. Your dad is a male man. and your mother does what? She's a computer programmer. Whoa. Whoa. Very cool. Yeah. Still working? Yes. Amazing. So you come from bright bright. people. Yeah. Good people. Good people. Very good people. Now a mailman would be.

what color? Blue collar. That's good. Exactly. Now you're getting it. [ __ ] you, dude. I love doing [ __ ] like that. Is your mailman the type of guy that. everyone knows? Mailman. Carrying the mail. I'm a Jamaican mailman. Yeah. Hey Melman. No. Like. did you open your mail? What's your dad's last name? Carzone. Carzone. Mhm. Oh, Mr. Cars on high. Are they? Or they. don't They don't know. They He talks to everybody. Oh, he does. Yeah.

And dogs love him. Mailman. Yeah. Yeah. Get that dog away from me. I'm the. mailman. Okay. So, good. I can see the character of Melmon. So, Melman. Yeah. Yeah. I got a little bit of mail. Get your dog. away from me. Melman, bro, Melman is on fire. Can somebody write a Mailman movie for. today? Melman. Yeah. Yeah. He knows everybody. He talks to. everybody. He's the man.

Yes. And you love him. Mhm. We go to a lot of baseball games. together. Wait. Wait. Time out. But you're So. Upstate New York, so you got to be a. Yankees fan. We're Phillies fans. What? Why? What the [ __ ] is wrong with these guys? You have a brother? No. [ __ ]. Upstate New York. sister? Mm-m. Your only child? That's what they're. doing lately. Well, they're all putting. them in the Quinn Quinnipc apparently. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Judy, are you an only child? It's okay. Judy's not. So, we got one. Okay. So, upstate New York, the Bronx is not. that far from you. And yet, you like. Philly. Yeah. My dad Well, the Phillies were.

good when my dad was a kid, so then he. just passed that on to me when. Yeah. You always adopt what your dad. was. I get that. His dad was an Arsenal. fan, so that's why he is. He can't even He can't even say Arsenal. Oh, no. Okay. That's how my dad said. Canon breast. Um, Melman. Yeah. Can you do an Asian accent? Jesus Christ. We can. Yeah, you're not going to. Miss Rachel, dreams and aspirations. Um, I'm a sports studies minor, so I. would maybe like to go into sports, too. Maybe baseball, but can I just.

Can you call a game? No. You don't want to call You want to do. data and analytics? Yeah, I like that. I can. And I I I love. learning like baseball history. Like off. the top of my head, I can go back to. like 1967 like in the World Series. winners. Are you [ __ ] kidding? I don't know. anything about you know Daryl. Strawberry. Yeah. That's the only name I know. Big Coke fan. Yeah. Jackie Robinson. Big Coke. I have a ball signed by him. My uncle. Oh my god. You have a [ __ ] Jackie Robinson ball. She's really into it. Yeah. So, wait a minute. You can name every. World Series winner from until back.

until 1963. Yeah. 1967 around there. And then. Okay. Look at me. Don't look at the. screen cuz he's going to pull it up. Yeah. Don't don't pull it up. So, I can't name a year and you can't. pull it out. I. like if I say 79. Pirates. Wow. Wow. Wow. 76. Um, I do know that. Give me the 70s. because it was like there were three. back-to-back winners and I think 76. was the Reds. Is either the Reds or the.

Yankees? I think it was the Yankees, but you. might be right if it's the Reds. Reds. Holy [ __ ]. It was Reds. Wow. How about Dude, she's great. All right, how about this? I'm going to. jump time. I'm going to time jump. Okay. 86. Mets. Holy [ __ ]. Holy. Did you know that? You know the game? Oh, yeah. The 86 Mets. You know Okay. All right. So, how about. God, this is insane. 2017. Astros cuz that was the. bang in the trash. Yeah. You remember, you know? I bang in the can. Who was the. year before though?

2016 Cubs. God bless. It's my hometown. Who was the. year before us? 2015. Royals. Jesus. [ __ ]. Jesus Christ. [ __ ] I don't. Are you This is not I'm asking this. Jen, are you autistic? No. You're just brilliant. Wow. So, cuz we have a lot of autism in this. room. And I'm This is just brilliance, guys. This is regular. Are there other people, you know, like. presidents? No. No. Okay. No, she loves baseball. Maybe she's one of those. You know what. I mean? She loves baseball. Favorite Philly.

of all time. Yeah. Ryan Howard. One of the best. I tell you, I played. golf with him a couple months ago. Yeah. How cool is that? Love him. Oh my god. Named wrong. She said she had a ball from. the holy one. I played golf with him the. other day, so what the [ __ ] off. He is He is the [ __ ] man. Yeah. Jimmy Rollins. You like Jimmy Rollins? Play golf with him, too. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. I'll just name a bunch of [ __ ]. Phillies. Yeah. Did you like Schwarber when he was on. the Phillies or No, he's still on the Phillies. I thought you guys got rid of him. No. No. It's his contract year. God, man. Look at her.

She's a big fan. Well, you know why I don't care about. him anymore? Cuz when we dumped him off. to you guys, we didn't give a [ __ ] He. didn't play that good without us. We're better without him. He's better now. Well, we're better. without him. Check the record. You know. what's going on. Would you take Shai Oranani? Would you take Show Otani in cosplay? If he walked up to Is he show good? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Would you take him on your team? Of course. Okay, good. Would you take him? What? He's probably one of the greatest living. baseball players. He's so great. I've seen clips. No, no, no. I don't I I'm trying to.

explain to you in the way that you talk. about like in the way that you talk. about I'm trying to give you the best. example I can. Enri No, no, no. Even better than Enri. though. I I'm saying like. the greatest. like Messi. Yeah. This guy is Messi to baseball. Wow. He's a He's unfucking believable. He's a. He is a He is a He's a statician's mind. [ __ ] He's a mind [ __ ] how good he is. It's like shocking. Wow. He broke a record. He I mean he. shattered records in multiple of.

multiple lanes. Yeah. And he's a pitcher who also bats. Yeah. He doesn't even have to [ __ ]. He had two home runs the other day. Yeah. They beat him 18 to2. He's so. [ __ ] good, Bob. Yeah. That he doesn't even have to pitch and. they're still beating the living [ __ ]. out of everybody. Wow. Is he a good pitcher? He's [ __ ] awesome. Yeah. Yeah. What? He might start pitching this year. Yeah. They said maybe, but I don't I. think if they're smart, they just don't. need to. I wouldn't do it. If you're on. the tear that they're on, why would you. do it? This is a lot of sports talk. radio, but I will say I do love that you. love baseball. I gotta say my favorite. Quinnipc student so far.

Do Mailman again. Mailman, by the way, there's How about this? Do. we have any fans that are Jamaican. mailmen? Mailman, please [ __ ] email. us. You know, there's a kid in New York. who's a Jamaican mailman. I bet my. [ __ ] life on it. And email Carlos in. the booth and give us a video of you. saying give us a video of you delivering. mail. I'm the mailmon. So, um, can can. you do me you're gonna close out the. show? I want you to look into that.

camera and say, "Thank you for being a. bad friend.". Thank you for being a bad friend. Miss Rachel. Amazing. Battered bastards of baseball. [Music].