Chilly Chill and Mr. Hollywood | Ep 78 | Bad Friends

what's going on here. i can read things man what's going on. here. um well what's happening is uh. you're not we're not gonna put this out. is andres abandoned us so everybody. needs to go to george underscore kimmel. and follow me on instagram. because. andres he's a he's a clout thief. everybody knows he's a cloud thief. that's my clout that he's taking. i've slaved away for six years to build. up that clout.

i've slaved away for you for over nine. years but you know. and uh andres just. made you bro yeah. i've made you bro yeah that's true um i. slaved a way to help. i know we helped each other but i'm just. saying without me there is no you. without me there's a 75 percent you have. oh. that's online that's fine 75 that. doesn't hurt. you think you think he's do you think. you think you think you think 25 of you.

is because of him online you online you. not the not anything else. that's a quarter of your yeah. on the internet he thinks he built. i found those fans you're the one that. told people not to follow him is this. his defense right now yeah this is. defensive well what do you want to do. you want to tell the fans to not follow. him still. well i told i told um the fans that we. want to bring his [ __ ] followers to a. thousand how many are you at right now. um i went up to like 17 18. what is what's fancy at. uh he's at 20's.

27 now i think that. he had he does not deserve any of those. he deserves 2 000 followers he didn't. even know what instagram was when. instagram you know. when instagram came out andres thought. it was a filter app you never know other. people ever seen the photos you're never. going to he did not even know people. could see the photos and now he has more. followers than me i have to take a shot. how does that i think how does that. [Laughter]. you two are bad friends who are these.

two idiots. white dude i'm an asian dude. you two are disgusting. oh you two or something we're bad. friends. what's that for my tito cheeto tour. shirts. guys is this. you're just blowing up huh the uh the. i'm the t-shirts i'm selling on sale i'm. just selling my image on the road but. you're there you're doing projects with. other people you're i'm not doing. projects with anybody else hollywood. stuff and you're leaving me in the dust. huh you went to you're going to hawaii.

again you went to new york again you. keep going ever you're jet setting i'm. staying in la. begging for work. please please no no you're bro please. currently. on a show as a regular a show it's over. but are you not a regular on a show yeah. but who knows if it ever comes on a. regular on no show dog who knows if it. ever comes back i do two lines here oh. mr meester you want me to carry the. laundry. yeah those are the kind of parts i get. first of all you need to turn the light. off is that what you do in magnum pi.

yeah is that your role. magnum. i drive your car. thanks a lot wang here's the keys and. sometimes i i like uh hold on to the car. and go. like that what's the name of your. character on the show ching chong is it. ching chong plural oh. there's multiple of you yeah i'm like. five ching chong than one it's like the. olsen twins they had to get two yeah so. one of you gets tired yeah the [ __ ] that. i do when i was in hungary. when you were when you were in hungary. shooting a massive kevin hart movie bro.

grow up i wasn't in the movie i lied. i was eli roth's shoeshine boy were you. yeah shine him up boy like because he. needs to wear every between every setup. when he's setting up the camera he needs. new shoes he you recycle shoes and i'm. scrubbing and he says do the accent. i started me wrong. right. wrong. right do you really do that for yeah man. you think i'm blowing up dude you're. blowing up i got. when i was in new york yeah what were.

you doing in new york bob i'll tell you. what i was doing yeah let me know. streets cleanings. street cleaning yeah with a machine or. by yourself by myself just with your. hands jeans broke. all the street cleaners bro yeah and. they go use your face. but i i go. but i have do the accent bought a hab. right you have to do an accent yeah and. then i they go um. i have to dust. right use your [ __ ] [ __ ] face oh my. god they say that right so i'm like.

why would they ask your face like i'm. like a rickshaw oh you rick there's some. guys. pulling me like a rickshaw i'm like. [ __ ] it. hey why do they say use your face is it. because it's. that. exactly because it's flat. so what i'm saying to you is that all. these things that i've been doing yeah. are all lies so you've been lying to me. about all the work you've been doing i. apologize it came it's so weird it came. out this way because it feels like. you're doing hollywood stuff i'm not. doing hollywood stuff i'm not doing.

anything. my [ __ ] but the tv show is in its last. and final week but you got another thing. with another guy i do i'm developing a. thing with another man a pretty big guy. will you ask him this too. ask that guy yeah if he has a problem. with me. i'll text him right now because yeah. text him right now honestly well he's. not going to text back right now yeah. just find out yeah if bobby thinks that. you have a problem with him why do you. why do you have an issue because when he. was a young kid. this is 15 years ago wait you know him. from that that many years i know when he.

started yeah. he used to have these the best parties. of all time. how like house parties what the house. parties you mean yeah yeah yeah i'm done. and what did you do it i sent it all. right people by the way. was on his phone only when he asked me. so um he said. and then we like every year or two twice. a year i would go to his party and i. would do i'm the dancer well yeah at. every party i'm the dancer yeah. you know i mean i just get into it you. just have a stroke. no no but i get my shoulders into it oh. you're that kind of guy yeah i i you.

know i do the noise. you know and the music goes right and. everyone there's always a see that. there's a crowd no they part oh for you. yeah like a moses oh wow right and think. moses moses. moses moses they don't do the accident. they don't do that with that i don't. know why they right so they do the part. and i do the you know what like back it. when they did. solid gold. yeah i remember that yeah of course yeah. back back and get it done doing it right.

and i do that and i go down the [ __ ]. with the sea of people. do it again i i turn around pop pop do. it again make it why are you pinching. your tits what does that have to do with. it why are you do you pinch your hat. when you dance breath on when i do it oh. you have big fat tissue yeah i'm a woman. oh. yeah and then um so he used to have. these parties and and then when he blew. up. it was just an i got nothing from him. like he never texted you or called you. again yeah. that's just because people get busy i. know i do you think so well also how.

okay other than me for real who else do. you actually text other than me who do. you really text with the kalila doesn't. count she doesn't count george doesn't. count eric griffin sometimes okay well. let's look at my text now yeah let's. find out who else your phone's up there. by your squeezer who else do you text in. real life all right so um. let's look at my phone how about this. when was the last time you sent a. genuine what's going on like hey what's. up text so this is juliana oh that's her. it doesn't count but i go let's go. doesn't count.

so my mom doesn't count why it's not. it's not like a friend that's like a. family or work because my friend jean my. friend janina. who are those people janina was the. actress i was in hungary with i shined. your shoes too you shined her shoe. yeah yeah yeah who's gene. gene is uh. a producer on matt magnum pi okay who's. my friend oh right. um ari shafir what did you say to him. he's just like let's have lunch next. time never going to happen.

why because you don't like jewish people. you've said that before on the show i i. like i like jewish people when they look. a certain way. if they look like liam neeson i'm in but. r is your fear yeah you don't like him. when they look um when they look like. ari no it already looks like if you drew. a cartoon of a jewish person. like everything's exaggerated and long. yeah yeah yeah no text back. i know sorry yeah sorry i know i told. you that's okay i don't care it's okay.

but um so yeah i text people what was. the question oh yeah so so you don't. you never really send out hey what's up. how are you text you don't do that you. never do. and you complain when i text you. unless. unless what. unless it's like you gonna you're gonna. get something out of it. then you don't say anything. what do you mean get something out of. that you know exactly you said on the. episode last week you were a weasel or a. rat or what what did you say yeah yeah. paulie short i like you bobby.

oh god yeah yeah so i have some friends. all right anyway. let's get back to the matter at hand. which is why we are excited to announce. george has been shut down on instagram. he's plummeting to the bottom of the. grandmother look at this 18 000. followers boob he was above 20. weren't. you above 20 george dude i know. boys with more followers 100 we do what. is it what what how many were you at. i was at 21 and now it's down to 18. um but i.

i mostly met at andres for being such a. clout thief but a little bit mad at bob. do you think he's a clown bobby you're. mad at me about what. i gave you a job dog oh. no this is purely about instagram bobby. yeah it's not nothing absolutely. followers yeah but you know what it. means a lot to him and you know it does. i know it does it means it means. something else because he put his he put. his baby up look at that stupid picture. with this baby and and a tiger belly can. i also say i'll tell you another thing. that he does that's i know for a fact.

salt mines of cloud i'm in the assault. you're done talking now producer. this is what he does and it's so gross. give it. so if we have a local shows like if i'm. playing the brea improv or irvine or. like even if like annie letterman is. doing great or like whatever if there's. an event right a stand-up event let me. guess. go ahead it's so gross go ahead. he asks for does he ask for tickets for. other people that you've never met. before no it's worse what. he goes and hangs out in the lobby.

to fish for recognition. george. that's yucky literally i'm not kidding. you i've seen it dude george you wait in. the hallway to try to see if fans are. going to recognize you and they do right. and then he that feeling that feeds his. ego it feeds his ego and he's addicted. to it and he like does selfies and. whatnot right george do you do this. well i get stuck in the lobby when. people see me stuck in the lobby you.

come into the back of the green room. you're even there there's no purpose. we're not filming it we're not recording. it i just wanted to go and then like so. many people came up to me to see me. that. i got stuck yeah yeah george you're. allowed to be in the green room with us. and you know you can go to the back he. doesn't you go to the lobby on purpose. yeah don't you know what he does too. he'll like be in the showroom. and fake take photos or like fake work. oh right right so that people look at. him. right so he'll get on his knees and like. do a shot.

line up a shot dude. and then people go hey bro. you know those hispanics at the show oh. hey what's up. there he is right there yeah yeah and he. feeds on it and he loves it it like. warms the soul. it's it's sad it is george why do you. think what do you need in the world that. you have got a beautiful wife a. wonderful baby why do you need this. attention attraction from the pod fans. no i'm just i'm just envisioning what it. would be like to shoot something there. so sometimes i get lost in my own rocks.

you're gonna go back and enjoy you're. gonna shoot a sketch at the comedy club. george. can i ask you a real serious question. and let's be real for once i know in. podcasts we [ __ ] around and this and. that yeah and that's all for show i want. to ask you a real legitimate question. and we'll edit it out if you know i mean. we're not too real i know we're not yeah. but be honest for once in your life and. your life depends on it. does it feel good. to get recognized people from people. oh yeah i was recognized just at the.

panda express the other day. uh the guy even waited outside the panda. express to take a photo with you to god. yes what did the guy say to you at the. panda express uh he said he's been a fan. uh since uh. shoot since bo uh since when bobby was. on jk news. wow and he's followed the all the all of. the podcasts but did he say he was a fan. of yours. he took a photo with me. yeah because. he can't get to the real thing it's one. degree of separation right all right.

it's like when people take you know if. you go to so he's going to photoshop. your head on george's body right look i. met bobby. bobby kimmel at the or when people go to. like buckingham palace they want to take. a photo with the queen but they can't. but they can't so they take a photo with. the soldier. [Laughter]. you know that's what you are george the. guy with the you're the guard. puffy yeah by the way the next time you. take photos you're gonna have to be our. soldier guard you cannot smile and you. cannot you cannot make any emotion just. like the soldiers do you're not allowed. to smile or talk you just stand there.

stoically fine uh but do i get to be in. the photos yeah but you have to stand up. absolutely that'll be the new thing i. want to see fan photos with george. stoically stan yeah so this dude you. know it's like and it's because at in. reality you know. he would never get this kind of. attention otherwise i'm going to say. something very. mean go for it. no i can tell you why i don't want to. let's let it out i i want to see it but. i feel like it's going to turn into a. cancer.

yeah if you let it sit it gets worse the. kind of attention. that he is getting. would never be based on his skill set. yikes. did you feel that george. no because it's not real yeah yeah oh he. says no it's not real. right so you think that if you weren't. the producer of tiger belly or bad. friends or any of these podcasts and. stuff that you would be able to gain. notoriety on your own skill set.

i'd be producing something else that was. also great oh interesting and that's why. i like it that's interesting can i say. something george confident i was being. mean. right. jokingly mean. but by you saying that right now i. believe you do you believe them i don't. i don't either. i don't i don't. i don't i was just trying to i don't. know i'm working at cvs cvs i i i can't. and when i say working on tv it's not. one of the good jobs i i i know what job. you would do night crew with the carpet. cleaner no even worse even worse.

you know how sometimes you go to like. the toothbrush section or you go to the. aspirin section hit the button not the. button but you have to have the guy open. up something right yeah right right roll. gate so he's the guy with the key yeah. and he opens up here's your guerrilla. game he's a keyboard he's keyboard. keyboard you'll be the keyboard at cvx. your new name is keyboy by the way key. kid yeah although the cvs i have to say. george you are very skilled and talented. we like you you're going to do perfectly. fine in this career when we fire you in. a week. we should just fire him just to see how.

he how he lands yeah what do you think. about george ruid rude i'll be honest. though rudy i like george. but you don't like pete or andres. george. okay. give the order from number one two and. three okay okay. who and you can't be even you know it's. not even. so let's go third third places last. place is the one that you. like the least and this is not because. no i like him but not as much as the all.

right so let's go number three two who's. three who's three. come on. george. george be honest andreas damn you like. george damn what is it though it's. because he panders and does whatever you. say and he doesn't ever create any. conflict no i think i have known him in. him longer she has loyalty about how. long she's known but george is just a. white piece of [ __ ] don't you like.

andres he's a foreigner he like you he's. a foreigner just like you he's an. immigrant like you i was gonna say equal. no no no. you went for george you you went for a. white and look at him by the way that's. like hitler's wet dream this blonde. blue-eyed i mean this is the cause of. all the issues in america is got a guy. like george a white privileged upper. middle class never picked up anything. heavy in his life. this is the problem in the united states. rudy and you like this guy i'm going to. say something if hitler.

was let's say you know those. hacky he would have loved george you. know those have been a pretty great guy. george. i like i like so many things about him. he would love george no you know those. hacky scenes that they have where you. know it's always about a nerd and in. school where they're picking a baseball. team of course and they pick the last. the nerd sometimes that's the guy 100 i. think hitler would pick him last you two. yeah so like there's let's say there's a. hundred people right yeah and uh is. choosing like a kickball team yeah how. about this he needs a hundred people.

right and there's a hundred and one. people guys you're gonna be on the right. right to choose and it'll go down to. right george. and some guy scolios some scoliosis guy. you're eating you could barely stand up. right yeah and he spends 20 minutes on. it he's like listen both of you offer. kind of the same thing. a high level of unathletic ability that. i just can't decide which of you is the. worst. i guess i'll go with scoliosis boy. oh and he's like the joy and scoliosis.

is like thanks hitler no though didn't. school this guy he dies right on the. walk oh and then he's like okay yeah no. no hitler's like i guess 99 is good for. me. i don't needs a hundred yeah yeah it's. funny george you know what you love you. jewelry we love you to death inside and. out and and you know what should we. reverse this following because the fans. are. no no we gotta get them down to a. thousand through we gotta follow so guys. let's get george down to a thousand. please unfollow him rapidly rapidly. right now in fact you know what what if. you've liked any of his photos go ahead.

and unlike his photo please. click the heart and unlike it i'm going. to try something mean turn it black i'll. try something mean yeah this is george. george. yeah we'll get we'll get you followers. right now but what are you going to do. for us oh my god. what do you mean bobby. i'm here now so fancy is not oh. oh you're trying to say that that's true. and you know what he has the ability to. fire fancy beyond our behind our backs. he could he really could yeah because. he's stomped in here with a little bit. of confidence george can you show your.

camera down there that you're wearing um. a snakeskin cowboy boots do you see this. he's wearing snakeskin cowboy boots. today oh yeah. is it real snakeskin it is you sure is. it real snakeskin george it's alligator. skin yeah alligators. what country made the shoe. uh i think they're made in mexico. the philippines. i think so are there alligators in the. philippines jewels gotta be yeah what do. you mean. they eat people all the time where i see. them in the zoo.

you're gonna go to college. george yeah. get into google okay i want you to i. want you to google how many people are. are killed by alligators in the. philippines a year i bet you it's gonna. surprise you. can i make a guess yeah let's both guess. two. seven a year seven a year seven two two. seven seven how many people he'll give. about alligators a year. uh does crocodiles count as well yes. okay. um. ten ten two seven and ten i'm telling.

the zoo some zookeeper no dude this is. in the wild there's alligators there. let's see let's see. crocodile attack. br look at that brazen crocodile praise. on a philippine town. yeah but. that doesn't necessarily mean anyone. died well go well that was it's not even. it's not even google oval crocodile. crocodile des in philippines there it is. he's got it down. well. well. oh philippine boy eaten by crocodile in.

latest attack. there's one i guess it doesn't happen. that often. twelve-year-old girl survives a. crocodile attack and if you're alive. uh that's two in 2019 then okay two in. 2019 crocodile kills high school student. in palawan is paloman in the philippines. yeah okay there's three 2019 20 19 19. so not same that's a different year. different year no these are all 2019 no. they're not yes george are they all 2019. uh yeah all three of those were 2019. look at that crocodile each 10 year old. boy alive in front of a siblings. 2019 that's four so far.

oh [ __ ] go to page two this is good this. is good so you're already out but jules. and i are still in yeah i'm out. go to page two baby boy. crocodile died in the philippines huge. saltwater croc ladies what kills. fishermen in latest attack. what year 2019 that's four five that's. five yeah uh boy eaten by saltwater. crocodile latest philippines attack. six it's the same kid that you're. [ __ ] reading over no. no articles but they're all the same. guy. i think there's only two so far no. that's not true they're the same kid.

george are you taking note of this how. many people are dying by the hands of. crocodiles uh i lost count because it. was so many all right let's call it. seven and i won very good. yeah. better help is there something. interfering with your happiness or. preventing you from achieving your goals. bob oh well there's a lot and you know. what i do wow i resort and i use better. help yeah because it um it's the best. online um therapy i've ever had when you. start communicating in under 48 hours. look we talked about this on this show. it's not a crisis line it's not. self-help it's professional counseling.

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get 10 off plus free shipping this is a. special offer for our listeners at. hellotushy.com. bad friends for 10 percent off. hellotushy.com. either way get imagine getting your lit. they rip you know they first of all you. know what they do right yeah they they. or those alligators or crocodiles that. spin you they both do it so they spin. you yeah and then they rip your limbs. but you know your body when that happens. give up no you spin with them oh you. just like you're dancing yeah yeah like. what the problem is is you go the. opposite direction.

right so like if there's if he's going. clock counter clockwise then you go. clockwise no you go no you don't go. clockwise because you get ripped you go. with him oh you go okay and you go. you know it's. and eventually about 23 spins he gives. up he gives up yeah that makes sense. right and then what i'll do is i'll. attach myself and go the other way. sometimes what if he just stops at some. point he's like i just want to have sex. and you're like fine just ask. yeah just get concerned. and then she's like where's your [ __ ]. you can i'm a guy.

oh okay fine you're fine who cares at. this point yeah they they roll you. around and they rip your limbs off when. you see at the zoo. a little kid fall into the cage love it. i love it. i wrote for the animal of course i root. for the animal every time every time and. i want the mom to jump in there too two. for one yeah yeah get it and then when. they shoot the animal. i always go cheating. i always yell cheating. yeah i mean wait do the video this is so.

mean do do raccoon in um orangutan cage. did you see this video of the on the. internet this week no oh. wait there's a recording. dude it's like seven of them and they. you dude it's mean but it's hilarious. they grab by the tail and they whip it. around. feel bad it's so funny i would feel so. bad it's so no that's not the one it's. very it's got it's brand new but he gets. in there this poor raccoon yeah yeah and. you know like orangutans they're strong. so strong dude they grab by the tail and. they're all like watching like oh.

they're all like laughing and kind of. and the guy he swings it in the air i. swear to god. yeah he laughs around and throws it's so. awful with the raccoon what are you. doing in the kitchen and when he goes. he's really saying hee-haw. yeah. orangutans you're not going to find it. man you're not going to fall on the. youtubes you don't know how to do it. it's fine. um how was new york didn't you just got. back. i went to new york and i shot um. i'm on sex in the city it's great yeah.

that's great and my you know what i'm. playing. um some not definitely not someone she. has sex with. just a guess it's just a guess. why do you say that do you have sex with. someone on the show. no it's a good one yes i've never had. sex with anyone on the show neither of. i've never been in writing no no i when. i was on spleen up together. they've tried to write a love scene for. you right what they did they had to see. with me and lindsay right on the bed and. she said right and i got too close to. her in the bed where he was having a. conversation and the director goes cut.

bobby a little bit more separation. it's like oh okay and i went to the. other side of the you know she called. him to her trailer before she's like. about this love scene. do you think we could what if it's just. like a buddy scene like we're friends. but but in sex in the city you don't. have sex with anybody do you. i mean it's a good guess yeah dude. they're not going to hire someone that. looks like you or looks like me or looks. like you're me. or looks like me i'm including myself. yeah to be the hot guy that comes to. have sex with someone sexy that's not. who we are. we don't get hurt we're asexual yeah.

fine we're not asexual we're sexual. beings well maybe we could be gay. characters. yeah we're definitely not gonna be the. guy that comes in the cameo the hot guy. cameo you can't compete with those guys. but you know who i love those guys are i. did a scene with i did a commercial with. jane lynch yeah where we make out. yeah and she went for it. yeah because yeah she has no attraction. to men she doesn't you oh is that what. it is. well she's gay she is. bobby i didn't know so i thought she was.

like oh she's into me no oh good god no. maybe she thought i was a woman you do. look a little feminine sometimes like a. butchy little dwarf if you pulled your. hair back and wore a dress you could be. a cute korean girl. i look cute as a girl you do actually. i've seen some photos you do so on on no. but. i play um. i play podcaster. oh right yeah you said that that's right. yeah oh there you go with jane lynch. yeah yeah no attraction she's not into. that at all oh she's not look at this do. do list a list of list of um.

list of sexy guys on sex today or what. would that be list of uh hot guys on sex. in the city i mean you look at the. lineup that you have to go up against. it's insane dude it's insane just do. images and let's see what comes up oh. there you go second c's 15 hottest guys. okay you can't make this list but i'm. gonna you think one day you can make. this list 15 probably there's no. pictures. go back to images maybe it's good images. i mean look at some of these guys okay. you can't compete with these bros.

well those are the bad things it looks. sick that's a bad cop looks sick. yeah he doesn't look. he doesn't look great he looks hot cute. you can't compete with these guys bud. yeah this guy look at that guy i don't. even know who that is yeah. that's smith jarrod. oh look at the [ __ ] are you a second. city president of smith jared's fan club. over here love sexism you do love sex in. the city you know pete's a big fan do. you really pete i really do oh wow which. character are you. who uh pete.

you know all the girls that watch it. they name themselves after one of the. characters oh they do i'm probably uh an. aiden i'm not i'm not a i'm not a girl. so i'm going i'm an aiden. pete the joke is everyone that watches. the show identifies with one of the. female characters on the show just. because but i'm not i'm not a girl. pete oh. oh god i see why he put him at three. now i see why she put you at three. i mean the the unwillingness to just go. along with the [ __ ] [ __ ] i'm sarah. all right bring up the girls cause i. want to see which is which cause i'm not.

i'm not smart oh you think you're sarah. jessica parker. i'm or i'm uh carrie bradshaw that's. sarah jessica parker right yes so this. guy thinks he went from being an. ancillary character being the star of. the [ __ ] show. how delusional must you be pete. pete bring up the sex and city girls and. we'll see who each of us are in this. room do you know the sex in the city of. the show yeah which one are you i don't. know the names but yeah. there they are there they are i'm i can. obviously only be this is miranda i'm. miranda for sure this is charlotte. charlotte. harry and samantha samantha samantha's.

not on the show anymore what happened. i don't know you do it seems like you. know and you don't want to tell me. because your face looks like you know. well i. because i told you the story what. happened between her and i. no. i never told you that story i don't. think so what's the actress's name. um her name is um i'm just not good with. this stuff and i know i already let me. get it. what's her name pete. i don't know i don't know oh you love. the show. i just know the character i know the. name's at the top of my head her name is.

um. oh rudy knows what's her name. barbara palvin bob rappeller. that's barbara powell yeah yeah no. what's her name because i have a story. about her. what is barbara palvin's real name. by the way i want to tell you something. yeah yeah he's going to look it up the. other day i was wearing my bad friend's. greatest rock and roll band of all-time. shirt. and a dude goes i love that shirt i was. like oh thanks and i'm thinking he's a. fan of the show i go thanks a lot man. and he goes.

who. wait who what's wait what band and i was. like oh he's not a fan and i was like. it's a bad friend the bad friends band. and he's like oh sick where. i thought it was another i thought it. was something else i go yeah and he's. looking at it and then he sees the the. names and he goes. bleith mulave. who's that and i was like oh it's george. trinidad they're all the members of the. band and he's like. oh that's that's cool. so this guy's gonna be googling peter. blight blight's new lava george trinidad.

trying to find out who the band is but i. realized i forgot the names are at the. bottom that you made up because at first. i'm like he can just tell this is not a. real band yeah yeah and then he's. looking deep into it is that a bad. friend's shirt that's a whiskey ginger. shirt oh that's a really cool shirt. thanks you can have it do you have a. medium yeah i'll take this off and give. it to you i don't know i'm not gonna. wear that one wait what what do you mean. i'm clean i just shower skin i can't do. skin the skin are you out of your mind i. won't disconnect my i just got out of. the shower i will not do your skin to my. skin why because i'm white. no if you're such a racist it's not that. it's if it was like if it was a korean.

guy would you do it you have a dry flaky. body you and you have a you have a. shitty gross body too i'm moist. all right go ahead kim control give me. your king control story i met his this. is how i met eric stone street. i auditioned for a commercial it was a. um. pepsi commercial for the super bowl or. something. and it and michael bay directed it. so it went down to two people. and they and kim control was in the. bathtub.

and they were looking for one towel boy. right so we were downtown i didn't know. who eric stone street was and we're. sitting in the lobby and we're just. sitting next to each other. and they put eric in first. and the key was crushing. [Music]. so i go. i should just go home. you were that discouraged because you. could hear the laughs yeah i hate when. you can [ __ ] hear the laughs i could. i couldn't do it but then i went in. there i did okay i did good then they go. all right leave but wait in the lobby.

we're gonna bring the other guy back. they bring the other guy back to give. him another shot yeah then they bring me. back in. ask eric and then they brought us both. in at the same time no yeah and you guys. do it together see what happens and they. were laughing. because him and i were just kind of. so we both got it. so i should i've never been really on a. shoot before so i didn't know what a. mark was or anything like that so there. was this scene where kim control was in. the bathtub and there was a mark and. there was like one light shining toward. the entrance entrance when i was walking.

into this thing and i had 15 towels that. was stacked. so the joke is i'm like as a towel boy. coming in with these towels right and i. walk in and i hear cut. the lie. the lie. [Laughter]. to from michael bay. holy [ __ ] and i go what line. i don't know what that means you're. blocking the light i know but i didn't. know what it meant i know right so he. goes see the light and i go yeah he goes. you you have to feel that light on your.

face or we can't see you. so i go okay. i close the door i have this [ __ ]. towels too and i'm like trying to go. maybe if i could like you know i mean i. just couldn't get the towel in and you. know right so i go in. stop stop stop stop die. i'm not kidding you he's even intense on. pepsi commercials yeah yeah that's. inside the light the light. i did it probably eight times did you. ever did you get it right never never so. now what happens.

is he's now. right here. and he grabs my face. i'm not kidding you. he goes like this. here. he turns you into the light yeah here. meanwhile kim could show us freezing in. the time in the tub. she's like you're freezing right. and the whole shoot was like that oh. what a miserable and so she hates you. she hated me yeah because you're the guy. that kept [ __ ] it up right and then. eric would nail everything yeah right he. seems very professional he knows.

everything yeah and he's just he's like. improvising he's like twirling you know. what i mean the whole crew me. they're like the light yeah cut. why is your back turned to the camera. [Laughter]. yeah and over your shoulder where's the. camera right there. that's what you did but that's what. happened so this is what happens. so now me and eric are talking and i'm. like in complete shame. yeah right rightfully so.

i know you [ __ ] up i know and then. eric's oh don't worry about it buddy. he's a nice guy right. and kim control walks up to us. and she looks at eric in the eyes. and she goes. honestly you're gonna be a very big star. to eric yeah wow and you're right next. to her literally next to each other. she looks at me and she. goes she just walked away. [ __ ] you. she really just kept walking what a. sweet now i love this girl yeah so what.

is her name on the show kim katrina i. don't know her real name samantha i'm a. samantha yeah that's me. and so it's it was my bad 100. i know i was green i didn't know i. shouldn't have been. i shouldn't even been there no you. definitely should have been there but. that's what happens you get your lumps. you do dumb [ __ ] you learn when i did it. when i did my episode of the office. um they were done like they were so. tired of doing you can tell they were. all kind of like. krazynski was directing he was very nice. and josh groban josh groban josh groban.

love him josh groban yeah the singer. josh groban josh groban i have a story. about him he's he's i literally have a. story about he's in the episode oh. really and him and he's kind of like. improving in the boat a little bit. and i say to john i was like hey do you. want me to like. you know whatever the improv was i don't. even know. and he goes yeah that's fine. and i was like oh i mean. do you and he goes hey man. whatever you want to do i i i don't care. i was like oh all right all right so. then i'm like i'm thinking in my mind.

i'm thinking he trusts my [ __ ]. instincts but really he doesn't give a. [ __ ] yeah he's like hurry up dude we. have other [ __ ] to do today is the tenth. [ __ ] season uh we're done we're gonna. go home. wrap it up right. so then i do the scene where i'm. smacking ed helms on the hand yeah on. the boat. and. it was it was my first it was my first. like gig i did he goes presents he's. like hey man make similar to this that's. why i'm saying i'm in we've been we've. all been here yeah he goes hey man use. your left hand because your right hand. is going to block that lens on the other.

side right and i go you got it. not hard at all yeah what do i do what i. use the wrong hand he goes. dude he goes also. when you go to smack him make it look. like you're going to smack him like act. like you're going to hit him you know. like like he's like you're like tapping. like go to hit him you know i go okay he. goes also other hand right so in my mind. i'm like but don't hit him too hard but. i don't want to really hit ed hems on. the hand that hard okay again wrong hand. again i'm blocking the lens oh and then. he said this is how i know he goes hey. bud hey bud hey bud.

same wrong hand remember that and then. now i feel like a child. hey bud remember that like a like a. little boy like a little tiny boy hey. buddy that's like when you say to your. kid at the playground hey bud don't eat. the wood chips. leave it on the playground right bud oh. my god so then i go i go oh i'm sorry. i've got it nobody on the crew at this. point you know sound guy's like let's go. you [ __ ] [ __ ] it's your left hand. you know i can feel him being like left. hand dude let's go it's not that hard. and then of course on the third take. same exact thing and i use the wrong. hand and i miss his hand and i hit the.

wheel. did i miss his hand compared to this. thing yeah and now he and then he and ed. goes let's go just go to the other piece. and john goes yeah we'll go to the other. piece. moving on yeah so i had to get it i had. to use it from the first take when i did. the first time because i [ __ ] up. and i felt like such a like dude then. the rest of the day yeah i sat on the i. sat on the boat yeah this is me in. between takes. sitting on the boat everyone got off the. boat yeah i just sat on the boat by. myself. in the marina yeah i was so embarrassed.

it's so embarrassing because i didn't. when you're young you don't know any. better yeah and you don't want to you. don't want to upset people and when. you've already made some mistakes yeah. you feel dumb you really feel dumb and. you're like well i'm not any good this. is so [ __ ] embarrassing and you and. then you start going well this is going. to get back to my agents and then. they're going to be like you [ __ ] up. and you're dumb yeah but then you learn. as you get older nobody [ __ ] cares. nobody cares nobody cares everyone's. making mistakes nobody gives it nobody. cares as long as you're nice nobody. [ __ ] cares. i think you're done yeah yeah you you. imagine all these things well that's it.

but it's also what when you're doing. these things even if it's a big thing. even if you you don't know your lines or. you [ __ ] up. because i've seen the biggest people me. too not know their lines yeah what is it. and then have to read it again and then. get really crazy notes i mean it's just. the part of the process totally yeah i. have josh groban's story what happened. by the way i never even got to i barely. got to meet him he was in and out so i. did a break dancing movie called kicking. it old school bring it up.

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kicking it old school yeah. jamie kennedy yeah i don't remember any. was that marina. [Laughter]. who are the other two right. uh ralphie may no is that ralphie and jb. smell the spot i forget. but um they'll put them on the spot. who's the girl maria manunos that's what. i thought it said that's.

so. okay sorry i'm sorry chilly chill so. when i was in canada there he is i took. like six months of dance dancing classes. right. and six months yeah so they're the the. dance teachers they go everyone do it. you guys were training and when i did it. they were like. they pulled me aside and they said. listen chilly chill we gotta we gotta do. get you a body double. because your dancing was so bad so bad. so they i go oh okay.

right so i show up on set. and they couldn't find. a man. with my body. so if you look at the movie it's a woman. it's a woman it's a korean woman it's a. fat korean woman that's amazing right so. if you if they cut away you know i mean. it's a it's a woman. right do chilly youtube chili chill. dancing. please. please we have to see this i want it's. not going to be online but chili chill i. hope so chili chill dancing oh there you. are chili.

do you dance here. guys come on. this is the first step on the road to. becoming. whatever the hell we want white guy. korean guy black guy super overweight. mexican guy yeah that's like this is. like nbc's dream yeah.

i want to see chili chill dance so bad. you gotta know when you come no i don't. man come on chilly. it's red yeah he's in red there's chili. there he is what do you say chill i. don't know man. chili chill. popcorn. the funniest thing is they assumed. because it's break dancing right. that if all these guys are like well the. korean guy and the black guy got this. down. because they're like the black guy's got. it and they look at the korean guy and.

they're like come on man this is like. this has got to be i don't want to watch. this right now let's watch it. i do want to see it chilly chill. let's hear your josh groban story chili. chill but congrats by the way. chili chill yeah very tight please don't. call me chili chill man what do you mean. chili what are you talking about. you're my chili chill boy oh my god i'm. blushing. what's wrong with chili chill anyway all. right chilly tell us your josh groban. story so brilliant is the movie so she. she invites me to her christmas party.

i'm not being rude i'm looking up the. box office mojo for uh. for kicking it old school i want to see. how much money it made. what do you think of this i don't know. let's take a guess let's do our guess. how much money do you think kicking it. old school made in them and this is not. a slight because jamie kennedy i'm not. making fun of you or you or anybody he's. a good rebellion huh. three million three million domestic. worldwide what are we talking domestic. okay domestic three million and. international how much 12 million 12. million all right what do you say rude. domestic. 1 million.

international international. 5. oh well all right. domestic has 4.5 million so 4 million. international yeah is [ __ ] gonna blow. your mind what. ready yeah. 189. 000. a hundred thousand dollars overseas. that's like eight people went to go see. it. yeah because when my. when my chili when my dad was still. alive rest in peace he went to the eight.

o'clock showing with my mom opening. weekend in arizona. my dad called me at eight o'clock and he. and his this is i can this rings in my. head yeah when i go to bed he goes. there's nobody here. that's so mean i know any left there's. nobody here they never played it oh man. they just left they got their money. refunded and they left. did that hurt a little bit bad. don't nobody because in my head i'm like.

because. this is so embarrassing come on. because. when i was shooting this movie this is. before this movie came out. i was. shooting um were you on mad at the time. yeah pineapple express oh. so when i went to pile up express they. were so busy one day that they didn't. really have a trailer for me and i. complained like well i mean kicking it. old school oh bob. [Laughter]. they're like listen chilly yeah they're.

chilly chill just stay here for the day. you're in pineapple express with like. five huge names huge and you're like. james franco everyone right like you. guys know i'm i'm so embarrassed anyway. i don't know why we took this detour. let me hear josh groban. this whole show should be called detour. i know. what happened with josh groves i met. maria i don't know anybody i don't know. what music is i don't know anything the. only kind of music i like is fugazi and. punk and whatever i love fugazi so i was. at i don't know who john may i know who. john mayer is i know john mayer but i'm.

not really familiar with the music sure. okay. so i'm at a party no one will talk to me. everyone's there and i'm sitting there. at like on a like a bench. and there's this guy there. drinking string. he goes hey you're a comedian right. yeah yeah yeah i am. he's like what's that like. and i go. because at the time i was playing clubs. but like sack punch line. what's wrong with that but it feels 200.

seats. it's fine yeah but i was bragging. oh you thought you were hot [ __ ] yeah oh. yeah i was like yeah like last saturday. i sold out the sacramento punch line 200. seats that's pretty that's pretty cool. though right and but i kept bragging. yeah it's like tour money it's like i'm. pretty killing it you know i do like 150. 200 people a show. you know i mean i had to comp half the. room but still cool and like still cool. yeah i'm killing it you know i mean. chilly chill and i talked for like 20. minutes. without even letting him say a word.

josh groban. just stepping on his toes what's your. name he goes i'm josh groban. and i go bye. did you that's it you just that was it. you were done walked away because you. didn't realize i got in the car and. drove home because you were like i don't. know who that is i don't really care i. knew who the name you just didn't know. anything about him though yeah but i. knew that he was a big star at the big. star like houston's doing stadiums and. [ __ ] yeah but your 200 seats are cool to. you. i know that's cool to you but there's so. many like moments.

in my past where i wish i could take. back. like social moments or situations no. because those make you what you are i. know but it's like there's so many of. them in my life yeah i've still like. when i was in hungary i was at a [ __ ]. burrito place it was a place called. chimichanga they have burritos yeah i. know it's terrible yeah and these two. girls walk up to me and they go at all. they go hey. and this guy in back of me goes not you. me oh bob right and i they walk by and. i'm still oh.

you know i mean i still have those. that's when you turn and engage and go. no you say hi to me i'm bobby lee i'm. chilly. and i start sweating and i go why did. you do that. there's just so many instances in my. life does that happen to you do you get. embarrassed like that rude yeah all the. time. yeah. recently. recently no no who are you texting by. the way. diego are you playing with tape that's. how we keep her entertained yeah she. doesn't.

let me ask you. no honestly. what the [ __ ] it is funny i'm listening. but you are a fixture of the show you. can add whenever you want. pull the mic towards you god dammit you. know what. here's what we'll do to get her to. get into the um episode not episode but. like to get her you know. to become a better podcaster. is to add her own information she. doesn't know how to do that i know but. so what we'll do is every episode there.

has to be three incidences. throughout the episode where he she has. to just. bring up a topic or ask a question or. something yeah and be involved be. involved. it's like anything it could be anything. hey do you guys see the olympic or. whatever it might be right. but it's got to be something out of the. blue. and it's got to be something that like. um don't laugh a topic that you want to. talk about this is real. we might have to fire you. speaking of bands yeah josh groban and. such rudy wants to show us that she's uh.

she's she knows her knowledge about. bands as well. so we're gonna go through your favorite. band one direction right rudy. yes all right let's hear it okay. hello everyone hi. i'm gonna be presenting introduce who. you are. yeah we don't know who the [ __ ] you are. we walk in i would just have it ladies. and gentlemen um to do her first ted. talk i mean we have from. the.

from northridge university from the. philippines from the philippines yeah uh. julianna kuhn aka rudy then you come up. on stage. hello hello. i'm gonna be presenting about one. direction my favorite. boy band great. i hope you're your name. i'm julianna kuhn wow. [Laughter]. when she does that on on stage and.

imagine a thousand people are watching. she goes i'm julianna and everyone's. like oh [ __ ] i would go like this i go i. love this. energy what is going on here all right. let's hear it okay. okay so the members of one direction. is harry styles. zayn malik okay liam payne. and louis tomlinson. do you want me to show. witches harry styles i know which one.

harry styles i know which one here is. the bottom right okay who is zayn malik. bottom left oh who is liam payne. uh left the top no no top right. who is niall horan in the top left with. the blonde hair who. louie tomlinson is in the middle that's. right. okay do you know that to be true. yeah. oh that's right you're the one right. what kind of ted talk is this are you. gonna ask her. she asked me. okay i just responded.

i think you should do all this without. any of this on screen yeah take this off. the screen i feel like you're ready. because you're cheating you're cheating. i feel like. go ahead but then there's no pictures of. them there's a we'll put up a photo how. many albums have they sold they have. solved. sold. four. four albums. four or five yeah you mean they've made. four how many have they sold. i don't know five. five or five albums got it.

the biggest boy band in the world. the names yeah of what of the albums. yeah okay okay up all night up all night. all night one of my favorites. um. four. four. the number yeah four oh okay that's. their four is one of their albums yeah. they were lazy that day yeah no because. it is it was their first album i know. but what do we call it i don't know it's. our fourth album you'll see four [ __ ]. fine yeah made in the am.

made in the in in the morning. in the morning. am is the morning you know that right i. know what does it stand for. i don't know okay what does it stand for. anatomically motorized. in the morning the sun is anatomically. motorized. did you know that. yeah of course he did. in the evening prematurely motorized. it's prematurely motorized it's been. prematurely okay let me. finish please we want to know what i.

know but it's like you're missing out on. no i don't see wrap it up because i i. don't even know if she knows anything. about the band i'm feeling like a little. bit let me finish all right all right. okay so i'm a fan and so you also need. to be a fan of the one direction we are. we want to be why because i love them. but what what is it about them where are. they from they're from england how do. they meet their british how did they. meet. they were from x factor. and even though they didn't win. simon.

cowell. made them into a ban. what are their favorite foods. louie likes carrots. that makes sense. no i'll give you like some facts about. them sure okay louie likes carrots. and he likes girls who eats carrots. liam is scared of spoon. of the band spoon oh no spoons. oh spoons. harry why.

i don't know something happened to him i. got to tell you i get it the shape is. weird. it's a weird change it's a weird like. what yeah what is that it's just a tiny. ladle give me a big one. i don't like little baby ladles give me. a [ __ ] [ __ ] give me a big ladle you. don't you no one's scared of a spoon. are you serious that's a. google it right now people are scared of. spoons i bet you my life people are. scared of spoons no don't finish the. [ __ ] presentation phobia are we. googling phobia of spoons.

are people scared of spoons let's find. out. i don't know what people are doing their. spoons i don't want to know but liam. isn't the only one with a spoon problem. it turns out there actually is a name. for his phobia. zoom in. it's. say it out loud rudy. which liam is well aware of defining. extreme and often irrational fear of. spoons. okay. you'll find that for any eating utensil.

are people we are forks. our people you're a force are people. scared of forks. no that's no yeah right there what is. that. aggro embryophobia is the fear of. glyophobia silvery things especially. silverware oh so that's so it's a whole. all the silverware yeah. our grayophobia argrif. argeophobia like being pork by. pumping by a fork. that does scare me a little bit yeah. yeah because i get so when someone's. eating aggressively in a restaurant i.

think they could just throw a fork i'm. just saying there's a fear of everything. there's a fear of um people are fearful. of guacamole people are fearful of like. what's your roosters what's yours what's. your irrational fear i don't really have. one you don't have any irrational fears. avocado anxiety first world problem yeah. that's got to be a white guy thing. yeah. yeah i don't have any you don't have any. irrational fears do you. i'm scared i'm. i'm not. i'm scared of.

i guess i just don't drowning it scares. the [ __ ] out of me oh yeah i'm scared of. being buried alive right. yeah but that's everybody no. really imagine being buried alive all. right you you're getting knocked out you. wake up and you're now in a casket. that's fun. eight feet. underground six isn't it but my mine's. eight oh you're two feet low oh yeah. and the first thing you would do is. you can't see. well you can how well your your eyes.

would adjust at some point right there's. no light at all though you would never. adjust your eyes. your eyes would never adjust there's no. light what about your cell phone in your. pocket. you don't have. you you wake up in a casket okay i'm. fine you wake up in a casket completely. naked with nothing they don't bury you. naked yes they do do they yeah no you. have clothes on when they bear no that. it depends on where you are el salvador. no problem okay i'll salvador all right. so now you you wake up right you're in a. casket you're completely naked right. there's no light so you what would the. be the first thing is like where am i so.

you would use the other senses which is. your hands first you would feel and you. would feel the wooden box. you go holy [ __ ]. i think i'm in a casket i'm going to. cask it right. and then is it a nice one. no it's not even it's one of those. makeshift it's not padded it's not. padded it's just wood. it's like. bad wood. what's better to get splinters out yeah. yeah where am i wow yeah. right that would hurt and then the.

oxygen is slowly running out in that. little thing. and then you would probably go. hello. quietly. hello. you would hello hello. anybody. but you i i bet you because of all the. dirt it's so muffled you only you can. hear it that you could you realize like. oh [ __ ] i'm buried i'm buried alive. what do you do then.

you try to claw out well then you're. gonna let the dirt in it doesn't matter. i mean you would have to figure. something out you would do what. um thurman did you mean. and then. you're dead and then you're dead yeah so. would you rather just would you rather. how about this would you rather just die. of being buried alive and being in the. casket. or would you rather try to get out and. die that way i'd if if there was a yeah. right there right there so if but she.

had a light in this. right right so it's like because they're. not going to do a scene in pitch black. so kind of tough to shoot harder but. wait a minute would you would seriously. rudy would you just let just sit there. until you're until you die until you die. or would you try to get out and die that. way you're going to die either way. i think i'll sleep and just wait until i. die yeah you guys are big sleepers that. would be easy for you to just sleep yeah. i think i would go like all right you. don't. panic. you're gonna die anyway right. and just stay still cause who knows.

maybe. in eight hours someone might get. somebody might get me you could last. more than eight oh you think the air is. just gonna run i think the air won't run. out yeah see i'd rather just i wouldn't. want to break the box and let the dirt. in i'd rather just let the air run out. because you probably just when you run. out actually probably just get dizzy and. go to bed okay would you rather have. that or this this is what my dad said. they did the japanese did to the koreans. during the. occupation yeah so what they would they. would go to a village. and i guess they had these gigantic.

pots of boiling water. who's how are they carrying around. boiling pots of water they just would. they would get a big pot of boiling. water okay i don't know how maybe that. people just had them around in a village. just boiling pots of water all over the. place right got it. i'm just trying to understand the. logistics of it yeah but it also it's. like you're not probably the culture you. don't know. are there a lot of gigantic boiling pots. of water in the philippines just hanging. around. no i don't okay so in korea there are. fine fine so let's just suppose in your.

little pea brain. right your little pea brain there was a. big pot your dad is making this up. okay you know what my dad's dead and. that's rude. when did he die a couple years ago you. know he did we did the song seriously. yeah you would die you remember this. that was for your yes it wasn't for. anything else but yeah okay so anyway. a lot of boiling water and he goes they. used to. make it up. now you're realizing it's not what are. you saying. as my dad it seems like he's still here.

bobby let me tell you a bedtime story. all right you're like sick okay dad yeah. i mean. back in the day when the japanese so. they used the boiling water. they used to tie accordions by their uh. what do you call. here feet. ankles ankle right right how does he say. ankle uncle uncle right and they go. upside they hang outside from a tree so. they would hang. koreans upside down no way from a tree.

and dip them in the boil and they would. dip the [ __ ] body in the boiling. water and every time the body would come. out it would be. losing a layer of skin oh my god right. and they would dip it ten times until. they're dead. but apparently it was like the most. painful thing did he see this no this is. the case. will you google dipping koreans. [Laughter]. there is no dip in korean what do you. mean. dipping koreans in boiling water all. right there you go dipping koreans and. boiling water water the dip in korean. sounds like a baseball team.

five to four out here the dip in korea. before you do that let me just go to the. back to my quest by boiling there it is. death by boiling bro that's so awful i. see death by boiling boiling liquid is. there a reference to it for in the. during the occupation historical. practice in europe no asia for sure yeah. look at that look at the size of that. big pot. [ __ ] i told you. i [ __ ] told you yeah but they. wouldn't go town to town they brought. you to the pot they had to bring you to. the pod yeah look at that pot bandit.

ishiga ishigawa go iman was boiled to. death for the attempted assassination of. warlord. toyota hide yoshi anyway so i'll give. you three options so. buried buried alive mm-hmm dipped by. boiling water. right. or or. do you see game of thrones where they i. think it was game of thrones you put the. bucket on the stomach. no so they put a bucket. right. tied to. somebody's stomach. but in the bucket is like eight rats oh. and they're gonna so they burn this end.

so that the ratchet would burrow through. the human body to escape what do you say. rudy so you have those three options. that died so buried alive uh boiling or. death by rat chewing through your. abdomen buried alive buried alive what. do you say. rats rat you want to feel it huh i don't. want to feel it you're going to feel it. the claustrophobia is that how is it. claustrophobic claustrophobia of the. [ __ ] buried alive i wouldn't be able. to do it psychologically you're okay. it's a slow it's a slow down but now you.

feel the rats eating away your body. that's slow but i always feel like. somehow you i could survive it. you might because if they bury around. like if they avoid the organs if they. were smart rats. right that's not that's the heart go. around it right right that's the liver i. mean they just went through non. so they just then then they make a home. inside of you. or they or they just bury burrow right. through you to your butthole not to my. butt up through my back. they go around the spine they don't [ __ ]. with any of the vital organs they hit. nothing no they put nothing they're.

smart rats okay right and. come on guys. and also he's not gonna die either so we. did two good things so they we're both. alive well i guess that's the right way. to do it right and then then i would. probably. would probably hold both with my back. like this like this. and and tell the my torture that was a. good one oh you would say that's a good. one yeah but now he's going to go now. get in the casket. so now now you're going to bury a lot. and we're going to dip the casket in. boiling water. yeah by the way yeah which one would you.

do i think i would do the casket for. sure because i think you run out of. oxygen and you otherwise the boiling. i couldn't do boiling it it would suck. but the only way what but every time you. come up because they dip you and then. they bring you up yeah it would only be. fun if you could every not fun but. if you every time you came up you made a. joke. all right so right right if i tie you so. if they dip yeah i pull you up dip you. down and you go. it's not that warm it's not that hot at. all and then tip you back down yeah yeah. you go let me take another look i think. it's down there somewhere. you know what i mean all right are there.

supposed to be apples in here or what i. thought i'm bobbing forever if you do a. hacky throw. right then it's then at least at least. the guy lowering you is just like. best. this is a this is kind of a weird spot. what do you think and then they dip you. back in yeah the rope guy might go it's. pretty funny yeah they might let you i. know but then but imagine this though. every time you get popped up a layer of. something is gone now you're a skeleton. what a weird spot. jaws this is terrible terrible terrible.

it's so terrible we're even talking. about this yeah but once we get here. again we're talking about it in present. in present day how did we get to this. though george that back to george. something unfollow him it's unfollowing. him. no no hey hey hey no hey. um you must unfollow him um. yes so um by the way so but but my dad. was right though. yeah it's a real thing. okay good but your dad did make up a lot. of stuff because he was kind of a crazy. drunk so who knows. yeah you know sometimes people make up. [ __ ] and it turns out to be true you've.

done that before where you guess and. it's right. what do you mean yeah where someone's. like what year did that happen you're. like i think probably the 50s and you. look it up and it was and you and you. yourself go. oh yeah yeah i didn't i do that all the. time where i'm like i think and then. what year was. in what place was this invented you go. albuquerque new mexico and they go yeah. yeah it was did you know that and you're. like and of course i did yeah and you. have to be out back now you have to go. back go through of course of course i of. course i know okay now add information. give us a different ques that steer the.

oh yeah you should oh yeah we have to. keep funneling her you know we'll do a. thing i'll go like i'll raise this every. time i raise this you have to come up. with a different thread of questioning. any topic. what's something. 78 weeks we've been doing the show. 78 dude honestly 78. no [ __ ] be in our shoes. let's just talk about something else. yeah right and then i will lift this i. really want this to work because this is. going to help her life because truth be. told i don't know why we have her on the. show sometimes people love her so much. and she is just sitting there not.

contributing not wanting to pay. attention not adding anything. oh you just hear what she says when i. say we have to get in the car to come. here so bummed yeah jules get ready why. we have to do back. you don't have to you know what i don't. do that. why don't we just not have her on the. show anymore. do you want to take a break for. a year. she does you want to take a break. no. you like it. it's okay no she doesn't like it's okay.

what is it how can we make this better. for you jules. where's diego by the way did he hit you. up. uh are you done with him yeah oh boy oh. boy did he see the episode. yeah. a lot of people are like asking him to. follow. oh. because he's private do we give away his. instagram. no but i follow him oh and they just. look up you. yeah let's just talk about something. else um no it's fine have you bunched. watching the olympics. it's way over by now yeah but wasn't the.

olympics amazing yeah it was great yeah. yeah we did the olympics last episode. yeah yeah. how have you. have you seen. outer banks on netflix. no no what is it what is it it's a teen. movie. yeah me and bobby love teen movies what. is it about. these teens like go on a quest and go. find like treasures.

look at what these kids look like these. days oh my god. where are the ugly kids. remember how ugly you were as a teenager. i know i was so [ __ ] i was so jealous. of these kids too i hated these haters. hated them yeah yeah they had nice skin. good teeth yeah i had pock mark pimple. face. bulging teeth big huge [ __ ] my. grandfather used to say because my hair. is so uh orange and my ears were so big. he's like you look like a taxi coming. down the street where the doors open. yeah my [ __ ] family so. yeah.

you look like a taxi coming down the. street with its doors open yeah yeah and. i was so skinny and i had [ __ ] big. feet i have 12 and a half now when i was. like in high school i had 10 and a half. or 11's my grandfather goes jesus christ. look at those [ __ ] things and i go oh. yeah i got big feet he goes you can. water ski just without you water ski. without skis. my dad once said you know i walked into. the room right in his bedroom he goes. you look like you did a 100 yard dash in. an undiyar gym. [Laughter].

that is so good. my dad face was that flat. your dad is very funny yeah i'll bring. him but these so one time um in la jolla. you know do you ever see um what's that. one with fred savage that um wonder. wonder years winnie. so i guess her grandmother i used to. have such a big crush right i lived it i. invited i i i um auditioned for mad tv. with her look at her. but her grandmother or something. i was walking by i was a kid in high.

school i was walking by her. grandmother's house and my friend goes. oh you're that girl from one of yours. her grandmother lives there and i took. it i don't know why i had an avocado. but i threw it at the house why would. you because i just didn't like you know. what i mean. you didn't like just winnie cooper's. just i just like you know i mean anyone. that was doing well oh right yeah yeah. how old were you. 16. cool yeah yeah there's winnie cooper. there. yeah she's very pretty she's still. pretty she was so cute as a kid she's so.

nice. the side bob the side ponytail. yeah. we'll look at that picture of her is. that dancing with the stars that's got. to be right up up. up to the right yeah that's got to be. dancing with the stars isn't it yeah of. course it is. would you ever do that show huh dances. with the stars. i would do dances with wolves if they. bring that and then would you dance if. they make dances with wolves a tv show. yeah you actually have to train and. dance with wolves i would do that. i would 100 do that yeah but what. welcome back i'm tom bergeron welcome.

back to dances with wolves. [Music]. who's going to die this week on dances. with wolves. people just getting mangled and [ __ ]. dealer celebrities getting their [ __ ]. heads ripped off by wolves that kind of. show i'm into right i would never do. some [ __ ] like this why. and i don't i'm not [ __ ] on the. people that have done it why would i do. that. why would anderson because i feel like. you can dance i can dance but why would. i do i think that if you trained with a. real guy and i think because of that's. the fear is that i fall in love with my.

guy though no but mid-america would love. it i mean america will love you if you. if regardless because i i get this. sometimes now because because you're a. leftist. cuck because you're a left coast cuck. what do you get sometimes. what do you get. no come on finish the statement what do. you get i'm just teasing you no i know. it's fine um. well i'll get recognized for things that. normally when i was doing the thing i. was like what am i doing this for yeah.

but america loves it but like you know. you'll get like people that you normally. wouldn't. you mean like you or know about you come. up to you and go like black people what. do you say no no like midwestern people. like i've had old men come up to me or. women go a young man i. i loved you on that magnum pie of course. yeah what i'm saying is that. if i didn't do that show i wouldn't. ever. these people would never know about me. well that's great i know it's great but. because a certain kind of person. watches a show like that same with dance.

what does that mean what kind of person. just people with regular lives huh. what do you think what. do you think i'm getting at something. they just sound a little pretentious no. i'm not i'm not it sounds a little. pretentious no they're. you mean regular are you gonna you mean. regular americans good old-fashioned. americans. i love midwestern american americans me. i'm a midwestern american. i'm from [ __ ] chicago i couldn't be. more midwest no. what am i you're hollywood [ __ ] you.

i'm not hollywood bro i grew up in the. suburbs with regular christians and. everything too i agree with christians. too but i know but at some point right. you and i chose look at your [ __ ] if. i look at your phone. blake griffin oh there's so many [ __ ]. songs on your phone because that's for. work no it's not you live everyone. listening this. piece of [ __ ] is the most hollywood. scumbag i've ever [ __ ] seen which one. of us lives in the hollywood hills. which one of us lives in the hollywood. hills i don't live in the hollywood.

house which one none of us do because i. don't live in the hollywood hills okay. you live in the hills i live on a hill i. live in what does that make i live in. the flag you live in the flat i live in. the flats but in a nice i live in a. compound in a flat your house you're not. even in a house you're not you guys live. in the hills who's more hollywood him or. me. both of you jules you're [ __ ] fired. lift up the [ __ ] i have a question. thank god. where's the hollywood hills. throw that thing at her.

you've never been to the hollywood hills. no. have you ever seen the hollywood sign. yeah yeah that's where the hills are. look at that to the hollywood hills. right there in the mountain. you've been over laurel canyon right. yeah that's the hollywood that's the. hollywood hills those are what the. houses look like yeah. and and producer mostly producers yeah. mostly people that don't actually like. act or perform. we're sandwiched between two producers. yeah the guys the guys that move money. around the most that's who lives in all.

of these yeah. that's a nice house people that are able. to just know people and that's how they. make a ton of money. meanwhile we back we break our backs and. um. then one day they don't want you anymore. but those guys get to keep living up. there and we don't the hollywood hills. is for. uber rich. like that house has got to be 15 20. million dollars yeah sebastian money. that's the i mean what was his house. they told they said 26 million is that. his house no. sebastian montesso's house was at least.

20 million a good family friend of mine. just broke it's public knowledge so i. can say it yeah they broke the real. estate record of price per square foot. in. in malibu make no mistake this is not me. nobody i this is not my mind. they bought it's not even the number. it's the price per square foot what 11.8. they bought pamela anderson look up. pamela anderson's house it'll show you. to be top story 11.8 million dollars. yeah and it's about the size of it's a. little bit bigger. look at that look at the house. 11.8 million for that little bungalow.

yeah. it's only 2 600 square feet oh. my god 2600 square feet do you know how. small that is yeah look at this. eight million. okay yeah divided by twenty six hundred. square foot house though that's four. forty five hundred dollars per square. foot four thousand dollars per square. foot oh my god what's the average court. square footage in america google that. average square footage in america it's a. beautiful home it's beautiful beautiful. average average price per square foot in. america.

this is look at that four they broke a. record in los angeles real estate it's. insane. the average is 122 dollars. divided by 122. that's 37 times the national average is. what this person paid for 37. [ __ ] times that's insane. they're rich they got a lot it's malibu. mel gibson lives there. i mean his i think his neighbor is i. think their neighbor is um. harrison ford or something like that. yeah.

does that matter where is it see who's. hollywood. nice this worked so you love it i say. it's ridiculous and you go it makes. sense it's either harrison. or when i lived on beechwood that what. the lady next door did to me the one. that ate poop the one that like yelled. at me before not picking up dog poop. right and they put fliers all over the. town yeah i either get harrison or that. i pick harrison every time there's a. middle and if that makes me [ __ ]. hollywood you are. no you are hollywood george george it's. bobby holly who's more hollywood george.

can't pete uh interact a little. who's more hollywood. um. can i tell you something real fast. before you answer you're you're on the. talking plop you're chopping you're on. the chalk and glock you're on a check-in. clock you're on. so let me tell you something you're on. the chalking glock yeah yeah just know. that. all of you. george included you're on the chalking. glock as well yeah.

why does that sound racist you know you. hey that [ __ ] is a chalk and. glock you know him yeah yeah you're on. the track right that's our next podcast. the chalking glock the trucking glock. pete well who's more hollywood. um. damn it. pipe up kid let's go have a stance. andrew. whoa. do you know why he said that because he. because because he knows because he. knows the truth no honestly no because. because people literally because pete. works with me i drive.

a pretty. damaged prius that's because. fancy cars that's hollywood that's. because you're lazy i like nice cars i. walk into your house it's like a. showroom in there you walk into her it's. like a [ __ ] animal farm. my house has a showroom because we have. to rent it out we can't afford to live. in it. while we're waiting in hollywood nothing. is hollywood you hang out with hollywood. folks i do not you don't hang out with. anybody because you're too lazy no no. one wants to hang out with me yes they.

do you're lazy okay no they don't. tomorrow night let's go out you want to. go out with a bunch of people yeah. tomorrow morning i'm going to hawaii. exactly. for to do what to [ __ ] shoot a tv. show shine shoes [ __ ] you shoot a tv. show uh uh what's your name on the show. what else wong what is your name on the. show chiang chong's with plural yeah. yeah listen. yeah i am not there's you are definitely. more highlighted in hollywood who can we. ask you. have you ever gotten your nails done. never. look at how shitty my hands are have you. gotten a facial.

just from this guy i know in west. hollywood. this guy might have gotten a face no. i've never gotten a facial who can we. call to ask who's more hollywood i'll. call somebody right now who. i'll i'll call somebody right now we. have to settle the score of who's more. hollywood you're definitely way more. hollywood than me you wear shirts and. bands you don't even like all right. okay you wear golden goose shoes. pre-dirtied up shoes. do you talk hauling. griff you're on the podcast i need you. to settle the score with me real fast. it's griffin okay.

bobby and i are fighting about who's. more hollywood and i say clearly it's. bobby he says it's me and the the. cowards in the office won't take a real. statement no no they're afraid of losing. their jobs pete said that andrew was. more hollywood and really think about. your answer here eric griff who's more. hollywood me or bobby. oh man this is actually tougher than i. think. uh i mean if i'm being honest but bobby. is more hollywood yes. thank you griff i love you to death i'll. call you after. yeah please all right.

and he's our most honest friend. literally our most honest friend i don't. trust it you don't trust our our most. let's just call no one is more honest. than griff oh let's just randomly call. the comedy store and talk to whoever the. phone can't ever picks up the phone. all right. that's fine. you have to tell him you're on the show. i know. hey bobby what's up. hey what's up are you working the phones.

yes i am this is jake. hi jake i know who you are and i love. you um you're on the podcast of bad. friends right now. oh okay okay you may not know what that. is it's a i have a podcast you know what. bad friends is. uh i haven't seen it but i know what it. is it's me and andrew santino have a. podcast. yeah okay so i just gonna ask you a. question because we're just calling. random people. okay okay. who's more hollywood in your eyes. all right. me or andrew santino and be honest and.

there's gonna be no hard feelings. [Laughter]. uh. i feel like it's even but andrew seems a. little more like low-key hollywood. and then. yeah and whereas you are much more uh. seemingly outspoken and. out there hollywood right on he's out. there hollywood you're right dude he's. like ostentatious and annoying and. demanding and bratty. that is that jake that's your final. answer thank you jake.

uh yes final answer okay thank you jake. i love you. [ __ ] piece of [ __ ] he's right i gotta. get it one more i'll keep going. this is great keep swinging cause. everyone's gonna tell you the truth and. you're gonna feel what it really is no. they're not you're mr hollywood i'm not. miss shut the [ __ ] up. nothing about me and you have to call by. the way you have to call a source adam. egatt. great. great oh this is perfect great the guy. for people that don't know he's the guy. that used to manage the comedy store. before uh he became a uh prostitute in.

austin he's a male prostitute in austin. yeah. but he only does orals. yeah your call has been forwarded to an. automatic wow can you believe he did. that to you. he's probably doing something he's. [ __ ] hurt no what do you mean he's. probably busy let me see if i can get a. hold of him. adam egret let's see if he answers my. phone call well he knows where he's. going. fine. are you facetiming him he doesn't only. have face fight audio.

it's like a it's a race. [ __ ]. you both look so hollywood right there. your phone's up trying to calling famous. people george hollywood you're on the. talking glock. watch it okay. okay no one's picking up one more time i. got to get can i tell you something this. is how unhollywood we are none of our. friends are picking up our phone calls. this is the most hollywood proof that no. one wants to pick up our phone who is it. you'll see.

no one's picking up who is it who else. that's tom segura. oh yeah he's definitely not gonna yeah. yeah should we call rogan. no come on let's call joe. no he's not going to be he's not going. to say anything yeah you will. yeah whitney cummings sure. last one sure call whitney all right. last one. she's probably drinking blood or. something. what do you want bobby. something like that yeah. panic. you know how scrooge mcduck had a vault.

of money you know she has one of those. in her basement she swims in money in. the morning someone says how does she. how does she stay so young and active. swims and money in the morning. coins text me text me that's her. voicemail text me we're not going to get. anybody what does this prove. that we both suck. on hollywood that we're both not. hollywood that's what the oh there she. is. [ __ ]. hey whitney whitney we're you're on bad. friends real quick. uh oh god okay i just want to ask one.

quick question just real quick it's. we're just calling our friends oh yeah. no i do not want to do a television show. with you. that's not it no i do not want to. co-host your podcast when you're in. hawaii no no no. mediocre who do you think time out hey. first of all be nice be nice to bobby. we're giving you a boost right now. how about a guest star on dave. thank you can i tell you something you. want to know something yeah i can say. because the episode's already out the. first episode we were in korea i.

literally said what about bobby lee. for any character in korea and they go. why can't it be like a korean spa maybe. or like a. massage envy or like a like um. you know like comedy like a spa shooting. like hilarious stuff we wanted to put. him in i asked to put him in the korean. episode and and sonny you know sonny. yeah he said he said they actually. pitched it but there was no role for him. so they wanted you in there but there. was nothing funny they were korean armed. guards.

so yeah i did try to get them in wit how. many shows have you tried to get us in. how many shows have you tried to get us. in bobby i've ever heard how many shows. have you tried to get us in with i think. we're can we get to the [ __ ] point of. the [ __ ] we're off on a bad start. all right right because your black ass. normally has a point. we shouldn't have called her this is me. well no let's say something he's nasty. it means no let's say tonight well okay. this is my only chance to ever be on bad. friends that's exactly right but just. just be honest with us okay. who's more hollywood andrew santino or.

bobby lee. andrew santino hands down no way. i love you whitney [ __ ] you dude [ __ ]. you i'm gonna give you a nice gift go. drink more. she said anderson do you know hands down. bad source. eric griffin said you all right so we.

asked everybody to submit some videos. um how many do you have let's just let's. see a few sir who's gonna get invited to. bobby's 50th birthday party. oh i'm excited how many do we have we've. got a lot but we can play we can play. some now and some some later because we. have plenty of time. hey uh bobby andrew uh i'm just. submitting um an application elephant. trunk party with bobby on his 50th. birthday. uh i got two shots. uh. some double vax all that good stuff.

i believe in masks i think masks save. lives okay uh. i like uh i like your guys and your. comedy and everything like that i like. this guy i got a couple cats so you know. i'm i'm a wild guy i'm also sober so i. won't i won't be doing any crazy. drinking or anything like that. [Music].

irish my mom's nigerian and my dad is. irish so. i'm technically half ginger as well so. i've got uh like you know it's a full. dose of if it's a little worse. [Music]. i like them i like them um okay. i don't know a flag or a. check mark do a check mark next to him. so you like him yeah logan he doesn't. seem like he's gonna be intrusive. he doesn't seem like he he yeah okay. here's another dude here's me here's.

andrew. okay move the player. uh happy birthday bobby in advance happy. 50th you an old [ __ ]. um. i just wanted to. tell you why i should come to your party. um fun at parties uh you know i'm. probably gonna get [ __ ] up because you. know you can't you you know you want to. be lame when you're on 50th. uh which is cool i get it but you know. i'll get [ __ ] up for the both of us. you know. and uh you know it'll be a good time so.

uh. we out he's on the pooper i love the. pooper guys you think he's cute he's. okay okay cute what do you mean because. you're gonna be there i want i want. something. he looks like he's [ __ ] 30. yeah. you're right sorry my bad. i mean you can say he's cute i guess. what all right remove that move move. that play bar physically. there we go. what's up bad friends my name's kyle i'm. submitting this video to be invited to. general robert e lee's big 50th birthday.

party man whew hawaii five oh halfway to. a hundred man way to go. papaya yeah. there you go the slept king. andrew. jules fancy bee. pink dick. love to meet you all. i [ __ ] think we have a blast man a. little bit about myself um. sometimes i like to drink water while. i'm peeing and i pretend that it's going. straight through me. uh funny [ __ ] my favorite central.

position is trial and error. uh that's about it though um i'd love to. meet you guys i think i'd be a lot of. fun. i know how to party i like this guy so. let's give it up to you they're all good. being a bad friend i can't invite. everyone what's the criteria here i mean. it's your party yeah i'll have to go. through it again any women or is this. all dudes i mean it's probably mostly. dude. can i tell you an idea before you play. the next video yeah. when he said he wants to meet everybody. and i'm sorry i'm eating right now it's. only because we're doing this at an off.

time because bobby's got a bobby's. hollywood so he's got to go. um. i i do think and i'm being genuine when. i say this people are going to want to. come and meet people and say hi. wouldn't it be cool. if we put. george like in a cage or. what if we put george upside down. suspended by his ankles. in the boiling pot like we were going to. do before. and if people donate money the more. don't and it goes to charity.

then the lower he goes into the pot. of real pot. boiling water. so we hang george upside down yeah if. you donate all the money for that is. going to go to your our favorite. charities to support because you don't. need you don't need people's money we. want to donate. do you want their money yes oh okay well. we'll keep it and just tell them it's. for charity okay okay so can we do. something to torture george at your. party yeah. yeah we're gonna boil george all right. guys we're gonna boil george we're just. letting you know in advance we're gonna. be boiling jewelry george is this all.

guys adam eagan go ahead on the phone. yeah. adam hey buddy so i'm with ander santino. you're on bad friends real quick. oh [ __ ] oh [ __ ]. you just have to answer a question i. miss you i love you can you answer a. question can you ask to answer a. question. sure and you can be completely honest be. honest be honest between me and between. me and andrew. who's more hollywood. oh santino for sure.

i love you adam why i miss you and i'll. talk to you later okay i love you so. much [ __ ] you i love you stay in austin. you're peaceful [ __ ] real. this is real dude no by the way you know. why he got kicked out of hollywood he. got ran out of l.a it's a fact he got. ran out of la because he's he because. he's a kook bag and we don't want him. around that's right we don't want you. anymore hollywood let's go here shut the. [ __ ] up. i'm not it's so funny i'm so. not hollywood still hollywood i'm more. man of the people than you are by far i. play golf what's wrong with golf.

hollywood. everybody plays [ __ ] they're all. hollywood if you don't play golf you're. not hollywood that's not true yes it is. it's gross america plays golf not every. american it's a lazy guy's sport no it's. not yes it is it's it's way you and your. rich friends hobnob. right and create these projects and. stuff on the [ __ ] course i've been. busting my ass now you try to get jobs. for [ __ ] 15 years you've been sitting. on your little korean ass getting stuff. handed to you for 15 years let's see. what she says.

okay i'll make this short and sweet you. you've got to pick me. you guys live in my ear. all day every day. at work. like if it's not. tiger belly if it's about friends like. you guys live. in my ear okay so this is a [ __ ]. privilege to celebrate the 50th birthday. with you bobby with andrew with lyla. with rudy with everybody with all the. crew so say no more she's coming she's. coming push pause.

she's coming she's coming she has to. come i don't even give a [ __ ] what's. left mark her as a absolutely say what's. her name i can't read it. i think it's uh. yeah she's [ __ ] coming anybody that. has to deliver mail to people all day. long and tirelessly delivers like her. next person she's coming move the bar. dude hey bobby hello. hey klyla hey tiger belly family. bad friends family. my name is ashton.

i'm a registered nurse here in san. antonio texas this is my fiance soon to. be wife victoria. she's a music therapist right now. and so i think the reason why we would. be. excited to go. to your 50th birthday party would just. be hangout. i'm sure you get this a lot of course. that i've been a fan of you since mad tv. i used to. run home from middle of work on my lunch. break. just to watch episodes to see if you.

were in them. so you're my favorite comedian of all. time. so. why do you think we should go so i. definitely think we should go because. because he made me do this look forward. to your podcast. that's how he de-stresses from his day. you know he has a really stressful job. so to be able to listen to you guys is. like a big. you know relief for him this is your. birthday i want it to be as special as. it's going to be for you and you know. what you know what it's going to be your. birthday hollywood themed.

[Laughter]. thank you for being a bad friend. [Music]. tom. so me and andrew are doing bad friends. you're on on air. yeah i just have one question for you is. that. okay everybody. just in your heart of hearts and just. really be honest. who do you think is more hollywood. andrew or bobby lee. oh man.

that's really tough like you're both. kind of like pieces of [ __ ] in a way. yeah. but it's kind of like which who's like. the more rotten piece of [ __ ] yeah yeah. yeah you know who it is tom. tom yeah. i'm gonna i'm gonna side with my white. brother on this one. wait wait excuse me. i'm going to side with my caucasian. friend.

thank you tommy i want to just listen to. my words right now yeah listen to listen. to his words you break my heart yeah. it's barely there it's barely [ __ ]. there you break my heart love you tommy. i love you tom all right bye. bye. even is the great. [Music].