Caveman ADHD | Ep 309 | Bad Friends

HEY! EVERYBODY, WE HAVE NEW MERCH. WE. love it, man. Uh Check it out, baby. Check it out. >> [laughter]. >> Yeah, yeah, yeah. We've got this uh. beautiful uh this beautiful sweater here. uh that's uh in in gray. We've got the. yellow one for Bobby. Mustard. Mustard. And this is what color is this? The. what? Pink. Very good. >> Salmon. Salmon. Salmon. >> Salmon. Yeah. >> So, we got new merch. Go to. badfriendsmerch.com. badfriendsmerch.com. to grab this stuff right now cuz like, you know, everything it's always a.

little bit limited. When it's gone, it's. gone. Go to badfriendsmerch.com. Hey, bad friends. I'm doing a couple of shows. before I take a little break. And Bobby. and I Yes. >> March 14th are going to be at Thunder. Valley Casino, which is basically. >> favorite casino, Thunder Valley. >> It's Sacramento. It's Lincoln, California, but basically Sacramento. March 14th. Uh then I'm going to be the. 21st of March I'm going to be at the Win. Casino in Vegas. I'm doing the little. Roadie Fest out there in Providence, Rhode Island in March. Then we make up. that Borgata date in Atlantic City April. 3rd. And then finally, the Bad Friends. uh we do a show for Netflix Is a Joke.

Fest May 8th uh at the YouTube Theater. right here in LA. >> to May 8th. It's going to be a fabulous. >> Please come. You can go get tickets at. andrewstantino.com for my dates and for. ours together or also badfriendspod.com. >> Do it. Do it. >> Come see us. >> Do it now. You two are bad friends. Who. are these two idiots? White dude. and Asian dude. You two are disgusting. Well, you two are something. >> We're bad friends. God, I love this guy. Well, congrats to.

Michael Jackson posthumously getting a. movie released here. April release date. >> What do you do in the movie? Uh you. don't What I play? Who do you play? Bubbles. >> Oh, you're Bubbles. Little tiny Bubbles. He He is like, "Don't Don't bite that. Bubbles. >> Don't bite that Don't bite that kid. Bubbles, get down from there. Bubbles, cut that out. Bubbles still alive? >> You want Bubbles to stop? >> [laughter]. >> You know he's still alive? No, not. >> Yeah, Bubbles Yeah, cuz they. they live as long as humans.

Wait, Bubbles is alive? Yeah, he's like. 63. Where does he live? He's in Florida. >> West Palm? >> Let's go down there. Let's go see him. What? Let's go say hi to him. He's He's. hanging out with Coco. >> 42 years old. He's my age. You Bubbles. and I are the same. >> [laughter]. >> Yeah, yeah. He looks way better than you. >> 100%. He resides at the Center for Great Apes. in Wauchula, Florida, sanctuary that. provides care. We got to go down and see. Bubbles. >> Yeah, we got to see him. Look at him. He's so much happier. He was miserable at Neverland. Look at.

[laughter] he went Look at he went bald. cuz all the stuff he saw, thinking about. all the. All the trauma he had, he went bald. >> Look at Look at his face there. Look Help me with Michael. Look at that face, what he's seen in 42. years. >> I can I've run into this guy on the. street before. It's like he was in 'Nam. Look at his face. [laughter] He was. Yeah. Oh he God, he What a cutie. Bubbles. doesn't need to see that. Yeah. Do you think when he dies he'll he. sees Michael, he'll be happy? No. Terrified. >> Yeah, he'll he'll run to a different.

cloud. >> Yeah, terrified. >> Are there clouds in heaven? 100%. Yeah. >> That's what it is up there. I wonder. what these clouds Can you chill on it? Do you can? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I can? Yeah. It's so much different than Dude, if I was in heaven I was chilling on a. cloud and you floated by you you with. your little angel wings. >> Mhm. You know what I mean? At first I'd. be like, "Oh my god, there's a porg.". >> [laughter]. >> Yeah. fly, you know what I mean? Porgs. in heaven. That was a Clapton song. >> Porgs in heaven, yeah. Uh-huh. And I'd. be like, "No, that's Andreas." Would you. talk?

No way. >> many people to see. No way. There's so. many people to talk to. All right, that's work. You guys wouldn't be in the. same part of heaven. Uh-uh. There's no. chance. You'd be sexually You'd be. nowhere near each other. You'd be in the. VIP. Oh yeah, definitely. >> not getting into the suite. >> Yeah, dude. >> Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's in general. admission. >> Cleopatra. Who else am I? Paul Revere. Yep. >> Yeah, yeah. King Tut Tutankhamun. I'm trying to choose my clown. You are. You are. Cleopatra, who else? Um.

Um Judas wouldn't be there, right? >> He might. He might be there. >> You never know. He might have snuck in. He's sneaky, Judas. >> Saint Nicholas. Yes. Santa. Yeah, yeah. I have to hang with Saint. Nicholas. [laughter]. He's a saint. Yes. >> fat. He knows where the good food is. He. does. Yeah, yeah. I'll get me a. gingerbread. >> Right. You know what I mean? I'll get. it. >> Eggnog, get it. >> Saint Nick, he knows all the good [ __ ]. He knows where to get it. >> Yeah, yeah. No fancies in gen pop. Gen. pop. >> Who's your Who's on your cloud? My Who's. in my cloud? In heaven. Bundy.

Bundy's not [laughter] there. What do. you mean? Ted Bundy's not there, dude. Why is Why would he not be? He's a. serial killer. Oh. >> He's in hell. >> Okay. >> [laughter]. >> All right. >> clouds in hell? >> Yeah. Maybe he could I get a pass. Day pass? >> You got him a A fast pass? >> pass. >> [laughter]. >> And he he has to go back down at night. Yeah. >> But during the day he can go. >> What about like Ted Kaczynski? He's not up there, dude. >> Come on. >> No. Tell me people that would be up. there. That would be with me? >> Guaranteed. Guaranteed up there. Okay.

O.J. He could be. >> He could [laughter] be, for sure. >> he won a Heisman Trophy. >> Yes, dude. That's a ticket to heaven. >> If you're a sinner, you can still get. into heaven. >> Yeah, so if you accepted Jesus Christ as. your lord and savior right before you. died. Or in limbo, you can do it, too. >> By the way, speaking of death, let's be. honest. Catherine O'Hara. [ __ ] annoying. It was awful. She was. so cool, man. You met her? Did I never. tell you this story? >> [laughter]. >> No. I've never met her. We hung out. No. No, we never hung out.

>> You never? No, I never told you this. story. I thought I told this story on. the show. I have to tell this on the. show. She went to your show. >> She went to see me at the Improv. This. is a quick quick for the fans, but No, this is great. >> No, no. I didn't Here's the crazy I. didn't get to meet her. >> Yeah. When I did the Christopher Guest. show. some reason somehow she was around and. had said she was wanted to go see me. live I guess after I did the show with. with guest and she came to see me the. improv and the sound guy the old sound. guy was like Catherine O'Hara is here to. see you. >> Oh my god this is crazy. >> And I was like no she's [ __ ] not I.

swear to god. Obama Taylor Swift. Catherine O'Hara all my god. I never met. her but I was sad to not meet her. because I was such a she was one of my. favorite. >> Wait you performed and she was in the. audience? >> Did the improv she sat there and then. the sound guy came back down after I. went upstairs and I said is she where is. she and he said she was loving it she. laughed the whole show and then the. moment you got off she got up and left. and I was like no way he's like yeah. Oh. my god you never saw her after? No but. she came to see me which was kind of. rad. >> You don't quickly. Yeah I try I dude I. got nervous so I I didn't know what to. I don't know what was I going to say?

Yeah. Hi I'm you're the best. Yeah. And. then she would have been like that's. great bye. She wanted to go home. Well I. got a three fingered squeeze on my hand. from Steven Tyler. Wow. >> [laughter]. >> Yeah. So he I was with Josh home. Was this recently? Yeah like four days. ago. Okay. At the comedy store. Mhm. And Steven. Tyler walked in walked out of the club. There's paparazzi up you know where uh.

the On the ramp? On the ramp. >> Yeah right. And and Oh she looks pretty. Yeah so. it's like Britney Furlan. I had met him. before. and I go hi Steven and he doesn't look. at me he takes his three fingers like. this. right? Mhm. Like a pterodactyl. >> [laughter]. >> right and squeezes my hand as hard as he. can like this. Like a chameleon. Yeah. like a chameleon and then just and then. he just kind of walked away but three. fingers is fine. He didn't say hi? He didn't look at me. You go hey you go. go you you. you know how the rock stars they can say.

whatever they want. And he's like hey. Coco bear bear no no. >> [laughter]. >> Oh Coco bear no no. Yeah yeah hey Coco. bear bear no no no no. So you you. respect that huh? What? I think [ __ ] that dude say hi to. me, you [ __ ]. There's a lot of people around him. Did. you He He came to see you. You. >> No, no, no. He was there doing his. benefit show. Oh, this I thought this. was a him and Josh Homme were there to. see you. >> Bobby's nicked him in the crowd. >> Yeah, oh yeah. Were you just like a. random fan? Yeah. >> [laughter]. >> Oh, wow. >> No. I thought about this way differently.

What's going on today, dude? Everything. I'm saying is not good. >> Coco Bebber. Coco Bebber, dude? Let me. tell you something, guy. Yeah. What Go. ahead, rip on me. >> [laughter]. >> Let's get it out Let's get it out. >> to? I didn't say anything. >> a part of it. What did I do? I just said. >> going on. >> Oh my god, here we go. All right, anyway. >> Speaking of conspiracy, show the Epstein. list. Let's see them. Pull it up. Pull it up. You know who is on the Epstein list, by. the way? A bunch of comedic friends of. ours because, apparently, I talked to.

DeRosa about this, he went to go see. Dave Attell was doing a taping at the. Cellar, and his buddy gave him the lineup that. night. So, it was like Big Jay Oakerson, like a bunch of guys. that he went to go see for a Dave Attell. taping. It was for Attell, and he's. like, "You're going to love tonight.". And he listed the names at the Cellar, and a bunch of people that we know are. on it. And then DeRosa goes, "It's kind. of bummed I wasn't on it.". >> [laughter]. >> One of the comments were following that. night. >> to a party of his, or Dave Attell had a. taping at the Cellar. >> Yeah, yeah. >> were doing a TV taping for like a small. quick stand-up taping thing that he was.

doing. >> Yeah. And Epstein was emailing someone. his constituents about the show that. evening, and he was saying, "You're. going to love it tonight. Here's the. guys who are on the lineup tonight.". >> were on the lineup? You can look it up. It's got It's on there. It's like It's. like Big Jay Oakerson, Was DeRosa on the. lineup, but he wasn't mentioned? >> No, he wasn't on the lineup. But, he did. the show the next night. I see. >> So, he was bummed about that. >> Yeah. I don't know if you're going to find it. I don't know where DeRosa found it. He. said he got pushed around a little bit. >> Like, so many people were on that thing. The Epstein list? >> Yeah. Yeah, it's wild.

>> not the list, but they're just mentioned. in the emails and this and that. It's. like. Yeah. >> a lot of people, turns out. He knew a. lot of people. Turns out knew a lot of. people, [laughter] dude. You know what's even crazier? I said. this today in the car. All these tin foil hat people that we. said that Remember the Remember. Pizzagate? Yeah. And we were like, come. on, they're not pizza. What is that? They're pizza. It's all real. It's like 50 pages of people going, "Can't wait to get more pizza tonight. Pizza party was so good.". >> Wow. >> You didn't see this? No.

>> Oh my god, dude. There it is. Comedians. in the Epstein list. Go ahead, zoom in. Uh Comedy Cellar, Jeffrey E. >> [laughter]. >> Luis J. Gomez, David Tell, Russ Meneve, uh Sabrina Jaleesa, Jay Oakerson, and. surprise guests. Wow. >> [laughter]. >> Wow. Yeah, he had a good lineup. Russ Meneve. >> Maybe those comics influenced Epstein. Maybe before this he wasn't even. interested in having an island. >> Wow. So he went to the show? He went to go see those guys live, yeah.

He went to go to the Comedy Cellar. Crazy. Yeah, but pizza was real, dude. The pizza thing is crazy. It's all over. the files. All you see all the time is. like, "Starving for more pizza." Hey, that. >> to the pizza parlor. They went down. there and there was nothing there. No, dude. No, no, no. >> Pizza was code. Pizza was code. >> Oh. Yeah. >> But the But But the Pizzagate thing was. an actual place. >> but they were using it because they were. using that code. They were saying the. place wasn't real, but it was an It was. a code for Yeah. nasty [ __ ]. >> Yeah, yeah, yeah. Nasty. Look at this.

"Mention a pizza a thousand times in. Epstein file, documents reveal." By the. way, nobody likes pizza that much, so you. know that You know what that is. >> Yeah. That's nasty, dude. >> Yeah. But pizza is delicious. Not like. that. >> [laughter]. >> Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, I I don't cuz From now on, I. DON'T LIKE PIZZA. >> [laughter]. >> I HATE PIZZA. What did pizza do? They. chose the name. If I was a HOT DOG. >> [laughter]. >> DUDE, IF I WAS A HOT dog and they. started using hot dog, yeah, Why are you.

guys bringing me into this whole thing? >> [laughter]. >> I'd be like, "BUT WHY DID YOU CHOOSE HOT. DOG?" THAT'S YOU KNOW MY POINT. PETE, do. you know why they chose Pete? Like a. empanada. You know why they chose pizza. Why? Pizza pizza party, it's what young. people like, pizzas. That's what they. refer to them as pizza parties. And you. know what's gross? They probably did get. them pizza. >> Yeah. That's even more [ __ ] up. What about ice cream? I don't know what you're doing here. Yeah, I don't [laughter] either. Yeah. Yeah. Let's try to find a replacement. first.

Perversion food. Yeah. Yeah, the files are the files are just. mesmerizing. I can't stop reading stuff. I can't stop. It's so much nasty nasty [ __ ] dude. Yeah. Well, there's millions of. documents. I can't go through it all. Every time a Twitter post. >> through the two and I was like, "I can't. do a million three million." [laughter]. Every time on a post pops up on Twitter, I sit for an hour reading it. I can't. stop. It's I'm addicted. And to see the. The one that made me laugh the hardest. was about Elon. Mhm. Where he's like, "Get this [ __ ] dork out of here.".

Like Elon wanted to go to a party and. they wouldn't let him in. Wow. Look at this, probably just. Tallulah and me, whatever. How many. people would be Well, his assistant, right? He like handed off to his. assistant was like, "Get this guy the. [ __ ] out of here." Elon tried to get. into the party and they wouldn't let. him. Just like a He had like a house. party or something. >> Yeah. What the lake one? You know the. lake one? >> What's the lake? Where he. Right? He threw a threw a He threw a. baby in the lake. >> Lake Michigan. In Lake Michigan. That. one's pretty dark. >> It's pretty dark. Is that me? >> [laughter]. >> I was the baby in the lake.

It's a redhead throwing away. Yeah. Oh, the world's falling apart. How do you. feel? I feel great. I'm on I'm on. Lexapro. Yay! The fall world's falling apart, get on. Lexapro. >> [laughter]. >> You know, I got my a little bit of. Ritalin, some Lexapro. I think it's. pretty good. You're grooving. I'm. grooving. I feel pretty good. I feel. great. I'm on I'm on uh. Are you on anything? >> I'm on creatine and I'm on ashwagandha. [laughter]. I'm on CoQ10. I'm I'm working out every. day. I'm feeling good. >> Yeah. But I mean, do you take any.

medication or anything? Uh. for my brain? Yeah. No. I take statins. for my heart. You know that. >> Yeah, I do. Yeah. Uh nothing. >> did your therapist doesn't say. you should get on. >> No. I tried You know, I tried What's the. one? What's the main one everybody does? Uh. What Zoloft? Zoloft. >> Yeah, yeah, yeah. I tried that once and. it gave it it made me so much worse when. I was young. Oh, yeah. >> I hated the way I felt on Zoloft. As. soon as I got got off of drugs, I felt. kind of normal again. The panic was.

still there, but I felt more human. I felt very. robotic. Doesn't that mean you need. them? Doesn't mean I need them that I felt. terrible on them? That like as soon as. you got off them, you felt good. That's. like how That's what crazy people say. Oh, when I stopped taking my medicine, everything was okay. Huh. So. I just worry. >> [laughter]. >> We've had friends that stopped taking. medicine. Yeah. Yeah. >> [laughter]. >> I guess we'll see, Carlos.

No, I feel so much better when I got off. of them. I took them when I was a young. lad, when I was in college, my senior. year. And I don't want to take anything else. You know what I take? I take Jesus. I take big doses of Jesus every morning. Mhm. I pray to my God that you're going. to be okay, that you're going to be. okay. And I pray that you're going to be okay, too. What did caveman do without. medication back in the day? Like if you. had like ADHD? You know what I mean? Looked around a lot. No, he's just kind. of like, you know, paint like cave.

painting and. I think he's distracted by a spider. >> [laughter]. >> I like that. Imagine. >> a question. [laughter]. >> This This Lexapro is working. >> you know or or like, you know what I. mean? You had anxiety, there's no Xanax, you know what I mean? >> How do you explain that to another. caveman? >> [laughter]. >> Right? I mean there there was no. medication back Let's explain Let's.

explain you're a caveman. Give me cave. talk about trying to tell me convince me. that you have depression. Oh oh really? Yeah. >> [laughter]. [laughter].

[laughter]. >> They speak a little French. A little French. >> [laughter]. [laughter]. >> Yeah. >> They speak a little bit of French. That's how we learned it. >> [laughter]. >> Yeah yeah yeah. So they you know, I'm.

sure language was developed that way. What was the first word? >> [laughter]. >> When you're going to get attacked with. some wild lion. Yeah. It was emotions. It could be. Ow. Ow. Yeah, pain. >> Yeah yeah yeah. Nobody knows the first. word. But somebody had Look. >> What? Instinctive sounds. Many believe. that ow and ah surprise. We literally. just said that. >> it because we know. No, but that's. amazing. >> Yeah because we're smart. >> Yeah, we are. >> Yeah yeah yeah. Simple request. Food. This.

Yeah. Without hands can YOU DO IT? >> [laughter]. >> OH DUDE, CAN I DO SOMETHING FOR you in. caveman speak? >> Yeah, go ahead. >> Imagine we're around a a fire pit and. I'm telling you you're my buddy. Yeah. >> Not you. I'm talking [snorts] about you to. another guy. >> Yeah. >> You're a different guy, but I'm talking. about Bobby. >> Okay. Okay, see if you can get this story. >> Okay. See.

>> [laughter]. [laughter]. [laughter].

[laughter]. >> Okay. That's good. That's good. >> [laughter]. [laughter].

[laughter]. [laughter]. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Dude, imagine for the. people listening to podcast on. and not seeing it. >> [laughter]. >> Just in your car. Oh my god, dude. So funny. >> a good one. >> You and I would have been great cavemen. I would be the best. >> The best. But, you know, would we um It would just.

be you and I. >> Because of warmth, would we be able We. would be using. our body. >> heat. >> Yeah, we would never go for women. Yeah. We would never go for women. >> would I would. >> No chance. No, cuz you'd have back then you got to. and then drag them by their hair. You. wouldn't do that. You were liberal. before you were doing it. Yeah, you're a liberal. Well, you know. what? I would provide. >> Okay, I'm a woman. Ask me out then as a. cavewoman.

>> [laughter]. >> Well, that hurts even in. Holy [ __ ] That hit. That hit hard. That's what I mean. We wouldn't want We. wouldn't want that kind of rejection. >> Why did he do that laugh again, right? Yeah, yes. >> [laughter]. [laughter]. >> Yeah.

Yeah. [snorts]. Wow. We would have been great cave people. Cave [snorts] would have been the way to. go, man. How do you teach kids in cave? Like can you life lessons? Can you do. that? It's just like animals. They see. and they and they they see and they. repeat. Monkey see, monkey do. Did you. see the Did you see the cave. in Kazakhstan that they just found that. looks like a [ __ ] door? Looks like a. 50-ft door. I want to see it. Do. Kazakhstan. cave door.

Good luck spelling Kazakhstan. >> Yeah, there I GOT IT. KACHAVA! [snorts]. LAST night guy Mhm. for dinner Yeah. Kachava, dude. Good dinner? It was a. good dinner. Delicious. Energy Yeah. digestion. >> Yes. strength. >> Mhm. metabolism. What's the other one? These sound like. your superpowers. Cognition and. immunity? I mean seriously, if you had. superpowers, it would all be because of. Kachava. >> of Kachava. >> Kachava is phenomenal. Some of the best. flavors they have, they make eating. healthy delicious, okay? They got.

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parker.com/badfriends. >> After you purchase, they're going to ask. you where you heard about them. Please. support our show and tell them that we. sent you. There's an image these guys. found of like a dat. That's not a door. Brother, that looks. like a door to me. >> pretty dory. Yeah, dude, that's a It's. more of a hobbit door. >> Yeah, it's a Lord of the Rings. Lord of. the Rings door. I don't know how old this is, but I just. saw it on the internet. >> How? You say friend in Elvish. [laughter]. So stupid. No, but you know, do you. remember? No, I don't see it. You don't. remember? I didn't see it. I can.

explain. Yeah, please. >> Okay, in Lord of the Rings, right? They're trying to get in the mines of. Moria, and there's a door that looks. exactly like that, but they don't know. how to get in. So, they they all sit out. there for like hours, and then Frodo has a suggestion, say right say. he he goes say friend in Elvish, and she. he says it and the door opens. >> [ __ ]. Friend? Yeah. See, look, look at that. door. Now, go back to the Kazakhstan. door. Yeah. What it was just found this. last year, right? Isn't that what it. said, 2025? Yeah.

Bro, you're telling me that's not a. [ __ ] doorway? Zoom into the one on. the left. That is a That's a man. standing outside of it, by the way. Oh, that Oh, yeah. That's So, what is that. got to be, 50, 75 ft up? That's a door, dude. It's just it happens to look like. one, but. >> That How is that naturally occurring? They can't even explain it. It doesn't. look like it's naturally occurring in. the rock. Well, then knock on it. Look. These are two Kazakhstanis. Yeah. We have to go by the door. We will knock. on door. Yeah. Friend in Elvish. OH,

IT'S PRETTY. >> [laughter]. >> IT'S FALLING IN. LOOK AT THAT. >> [laughter]. >> YEAH, YEAH. >> THAT'S A [ __ ] DOOR. >> YEAH. DUDE, that's not a part of a. mountain. That's a door. Yeah. Wow. That's a creepy cave door to something. that we don't want to know. >> Yeah. Just knock on it. I would never You. would never. >> I would knock. >> You'd knock and then you'd run and leave. me there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 100%. Yeah. >> [laughter]. >> Some giant comes out.

Imagine he goes, "Bobby mom?". >> [laughter]. >> Like how do you see the show? >> Yeah. I'm getting we have to do we should do a. bad friends abroad where we explore. these hidden gems. >> There's no way that's going to happen. You know how far it takes to get even. get there? It's Kazakhstan. You'd stop. >> That's No, but to get to that door. you have to take a donkey, you know what. I mean? You know what I mean? And the. paraglide. >> [laughter]. >> Right? And then zip line and. >> He's getting flights. We can do a. non-stop one-stop 20 hours. >> Dude, how boring is Kazakhstan? Oh. Oh,

it's supposed to be beautiful. >> Really? Yeah. It's a tough place. >> tough people. Hey, let's be nice. There's about 40 people that listen to. us in Kazakhstan. >> Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I love Kazakhs. Shout out to Kazakhs. I love Kazakhs. Look at that. They got a [ __ ] Look at. that. They got a thing with a ball on. the. >> Ooh. >> Ooh. OOH, LADIES. YEAH. >> OOH. THEY'RE KIND OF ASIAN LOOKING, WHICH IS. LIKE what I like. Eastern European has. this like right on the border of. Mongolian. looking.

>> Kazakhstan is in Asia. Yeah, it is in. Asia, but it's still so far Eastern it. still grasps a piece of Europe, right? Doesn't it feel like Europe? >> between Eastern Europeans and Asians, I. think. >> Look at where it is. Doesn't that feel. your Eastern Europe and Asia at the same. time? It's the center. It's huge. Like wait, wait, go go go Can you zoom in, please? >> It's right next to Mongolia, so it's got. that But look, Western Kazakhstan, go. way west. Look at up Look, it butts up there to. what? What is that? What country is next. door? Georgia. Georgia. Yeah, man, that's.

you're Eastern Europe, dude. You're. kissing it You're kissing it. >> Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. >> It's Russia. Like if you look at some. parts of Russia, too. Well, Russia spans. the map. >> If you go like way. Let's see. East is Asian. West is. European. Yes. That's right. Yeah, yeah. Western Russia might as well be. uh uh. you know, what is that? Like um. Even bleeds into Finland. Imagine if the. Finn Russians. The Rush Finns. Like in certain parts of Russia, they. would think that I was probably Russian. >> Mongolian.

>> [laughter]. >> 100% Mongolian. I've seen Russians look. completely Asian. Yes. Yeah, the. Mongolian one. >> Mongolian. >> [laughter]. >> That's a zinger. >> [laughter]. >> Like that. How do you do a Russian Asian. accent? I'm trying to do it right now. I can't. even do a Well, yeah, from Russia, we. will come from the. >> From Russia, we will come. From from. Russia, they come to this place. >> [laughter]. >> That's really hard to combine. Yeah, from Russia.

>> That's it. >> [laughter]. >> From Russia, we have. We maybe And and you say say in Russia. >> In Russia, we In in Russia. >> I'm trying. FINISH [laughter] IT. [ __ ] FINISH IT. >> HEY, MAN. SORRY, my I'm aggressive. It's. Lexapro. In Russia. >> [laughter]. >> Yeah. In Russia, car drives you. In Russia, in Russia, car drive you. >> That's That's good. >> That's pretty good. >> That's a guy that's there. >> Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's a man that. exists out there in Russia.

>> Somewhere out there, yeah. But there's. like look at all that land up like where. there's no big Like what happens up. there? >> That's the polar vortex of nothingness. I mean, there can. >> But but people do live out there. No, rarely. >> Yeah, yeah. No, people live out there. They I saw this Tik Tok where there's. this rickety train that's cold still. >> [laughter]. >> We should make a movie called Rickety. Train. >> It's a rickety train with cold still. right and the tracks Sometimes they have. to go out and they fix the railroad. tracks, right? And it's in Russia and.

it's like these small towns and they. they herd goat and I I mean, yeah, there. are people way out there. >> Yeah, the Polar Express, yeah. Did you Yeah, did you save your bell? Did you take your bell? [laughter]. On the rickety train? You feel listen to the bell, you can. hear train coming. >> [laughter]. >> Train is bringing new goats. Yeah. That's incredible. >> is incredible. What happens if you're like out there. and you're and you you're like a.

good-looking dude? You can't model? Yeah, you can. Train model. >> [laughter]. >> Train model, dude. You model on the train. They'll let you. walk around from car to car. >> Oh, I see. What do If you're a hot guy. will Like you're a hot guy, you have. let's you you know you're a good actor. Right? Like you're you you just That's. your dream. >> it. You have it. >> it. You're like the Philip Seymour. Hoffman, but you look like Brad Pitt. Right? Damn. Right? And you got Daniel. Day-Lewis skills. You got Daniel. Day-Lewis skills. You know what I mean? And you got Haley Joel Osment feet.

>> [laughter]. >> Why not? Little feet. Yeah, that's. little feet, right? And you're like um. You're so so dressed well and for for. what you And you live in the smallest. town in northern Russia. >> There's no hope. I guess you, but you got to be the. hottest guy in a small town. Yeah, but. does he go to Moscow and try to do. theater? >> Oh, yeah. Oh, that's what you would do. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Become a dancer. or an actor. >> Yeah. What is that? An international. actor's agency up there? >> a Russian town agency, but it was it. looked like it was going to spy on us. >> I could use that. My agents aren't doing.

[ __ ]. >> Yeah. I could really use a bump. I might. as well go to a What if they wouldn't. sign me? You know what I mean? I called and I'm. like, "No.". >> The Mongolian agency would. >> [laughter]. >> You're killed down there. Yeah, yeah. Why don't you go down. >> a commercial with an eagle ON MY ARM. EAGLE INSURANCE. >> YEAH. Those are like dude, Mongolians, dude. I mean, did you see um. Physical Asia? Yeah, we watch that. We talked about. that. >> Yeah, yeah, but the Mongolians, they're. tough people. Yeah, they're nuts.

>> They're nuts, dude. Well, Genghis Khan. was nuts. My dog. Yeah. >> Miss you. RIP. RIP RIP Gengy. >> Yeah. Physical Asia. Yeah, the. Mongolians are You just thought they. were for making fun of. >> [laughter]. >> Yeah, yeah. You thought they were dry Eskimos. [laughter]. That guy's huge in the front. >> Yeah. My god. I think when you live out there, you just you just toughens you. What's the slang for this Mongolian.

team? What's the slang? What's the. slang? What's the What's the phrase for. this team? What? The promotional phrase. What would their phrase be if this was a. poster for the Mongolian team? What an ad agency? What the [ __ ] is. going on? >> it. Loaded up. What? >> Mongolia. We got the beef. Oh. That's good, dude. Mongolia. Mongolia. Where's the beef? Yeah. We got the beef with you. Yeah. Also, try Mongolian beef right now on. special at Panda Express for $9.99. Hey,

see if there's hot Mongolian women. For. sure. There's probably not. Hot women. all over the world. I don't know. I. don't think so. >> [laughter and gasps]. >> Yeah, hot Mongolian women. >> [snorts]. >> Bingo. >> [laughter]. >> I mean, you think? Yes, they're very very pretty. >> For the region, yeah. Yeah. No, what? Look at me right now, dude. Yeah, dude. >> [laughter]. >> Give me another one. Give me a couple. >> Yeah, give give give me a couple. There. we go. Yep. Isn't that your aunt?

>> [laughter]. >> Yeah. That's Yeah, I'm I guess there's. got to be Oh, there's Oh, there's one. right there. That's how you This is Asia, not Europe. Jesus. >> Yeah, that her? Gorgeous. Gorgeous. Gorgeous. That's AI? Okay. There we go. >> go. >> [laughter]. >> HE TYPED IN HOW. IT CORRECTS IT USUALLY. HOW Mongolian. woman. [laughter] Yeah. Oh, there you. go. That's Mongolia. >> Yeah, that's pretty Mongolian. Couple of mountains there in the.

foreground. Let's move on from the. Mongolian. Yeah, let's get off of Mongolia. >> Yeah, let Let zoom in on that girl. Walking down the street. She's just carrying trash. >> [laughter]. >> Severed head in that bag. Crazy. >> Yeah, what is going on there? Um Get off. of that. >> Get off it. Yeah, I'm going to watch. Goat. Goat, please go watch Goat. >> out. Goat is out. No, when this comes out. it'll be out right now. >> It's out. >> Please go see Goat. >> guys taking us to the premiere? Nope.

Okay. It's just me and Andrew are going to go. >> That's crazy you thought that we would. take you to the premiere. Are you going. to wear a suit? I thought about it, but it's a. basketball movie. So I then then thought. I should just wear like casual clothes. Is that what you're going to do? Yeah, cuz we got to have pictures together and. I figured we should just wear street. clothes. >> I'll wear a sports coat. But we never wear sports coats. How. about like jeans, t-shirt, sports coat? I don't want to wear a collar. I don't. think it [ __ ] matters anymore. >> Okay. Look, what. what You're just going to dress regular. Well, yeah, because who's it for? The. photos. Our moms?

Oh, yeah. Do you know what I mean? Like. at this point in my life. >> everyone's wearing a suit and we're like. wearing, you know, I'm how much more rad. could that be? I guess so. I'll wear a. dress. Would you like to wear a dress? >> Because you know that Nick Kroll is. going to wear a suit, like a purple. suit. Yeah, he. that's but he's they're more. professional than us, dude. Okay. He's a worked actor. >> going to go buy buy a suit tomorrow. >> Okay, buy one. I'm telling you I'm not. going to wear one. >> Like a black suit. Nice. >> no interest in that. >> With a black tie, like look, you know. what I mean? You're saying black a lot. Yeah, I love black people. I'm going to. wear a white suit, white tie.

>> [laughter]. >> Yeah. You have suits. I dude. >> Let's do suit. Let's do suit. >> Can I tell you what's a bummer? What? I. tried to put on a suit the. what? A week ago Yeah. for my sister's. wedding coming up. Yeah. Too fat for that suit. So you got to get another one. I would. have to get a new brand new suit. I'm. too fat for my old suit. I'm 205 right. now. >> Where are we going to go? Where should we go to get a suit? Yeah. Men's Wearhouse. Oh. What do you mean? I go to Jimmy Aus. Jimmy O. Yang has his own [ __ ] suit.

store? >> for little people. Oh, yeah. >> Yeah, that one of Yeah, yeah. Jimmy Tom. Ford will like fix it for you. I'm going. to Ronnie Chanks. He's got a suit. >> [laughter]. >> Yeah, yeah. Wait a minute. You're Where. would you really go to get a suit if. you're really going to get a. >> Jimmy Aus the. It's right down [laughter] the street. Shut up, dude. >> to god I did. >> It's a little people store. It's No, it's for the small actors like Seth Rog. Green Goes. >> [laughter]. >> Seth Green Goes Elijah go like. we go.

And there's headshots of like. >> [laughter]. >> all the little actors. Dude, the little. people suit store is so funny. >> Yeah. EVERYTHING'S HALF OFF. >> [laughter]. >> YEAH. >> HEY, DO YOU HAVE SIZE SIX IN THESE? LIKE, "WHOA, BIGFOOT, slow down.". >> Williams goes. I think Brad Williams. goes. >> [laughter]. >> But it's We've looked it up before, right? >> Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a. real What's so funny? You have people like you have. people that go to like, you know what I. mean? Big and tall. Will you go to a little people suit.

store, please? Will you Google little. people suit store? Just the idea is so. fantastic. >> that I go to, Jimmy Aus. You're like, "800 bucks? There's half. the fabric.". Little people suit store. Jimmy Aus for. men in 5'8" and under. Yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah. I've seen this. WHY. >> [laughter]. >> WHY IS THAT FUNNY, DUDE? I'M YOU'RE. pissing me off. It's so funny cuz 5'8". you know is like, "WELL, YOU'RE TALL.". >> [laughter]. >> 5'8" IS IN THE TALL SECTION. >> NICE STORE, THOUGH. YEAH, it looks.

amazing, dude. >> they have EVERYTHING THERE. >> [laughter]. >> LIKE A DOLLHOUSE, YEAH. >> [laughter]. >> LIKE a what? A dollhouse. That entire store fits IN MY CAR. >> [laughter]. >> DUDE, JIMMY AUS. Let me see Jimmy. Give. me a picture of Jimmy. >> he? There he is. He's there. Every time I go in, "What's up?". Who Where are the who are the. uh the the. the small celebrities that go?

>> [snorts and laughter]. >> Look at that. Is that Seth GREEN RIGHT. [laughter] THERE? YEAH, VERN VERN. >> VERN, YEAH, VERN. >> [laughter]. >> Our dog. RIP. Yeah, Vern goes. RIP. Vernie. >> Yeah. Yeah. Oh, [snorts] man. Yeah. Yeah, so we all go. >> [laughter]. >> I love it there. Yeah. Also. Dude, dude, WHAT'S WHAT'S YOUR [ __ ]. PROBLEM, [screaming].

DUDE? WHY [laughter] IS THIS SO FUNNY? >> I DON'T KNOW. YEAH, YEAH, YEAH. >> Little ties. It's just so cute. Everything's small. [laughter]. It's just cute, dude. I like Jimmy. Owens. >> Yeah, yeah. Oh. [snorts] I was going to. go tomorrow, but uh. >> Do celebs that go to Jimmy Owens. I want to see the list of celebs that. are. celebs that go. It's the Wonder Years. guy, what's his name? Who? >> Fred. Fred Savage. Fred Savage goes. >> Yeah. Wait, zoom in. Oh, dude, Martin. Sheen, Al [clears throat] Pacino, Wahlberg, DeVito, Pesci, Seth Green,

Jason Alexander, David Spade, and Bobby. Lee. >> Yeah, Spade goes. There's a headshot of. him. >> [snorts]. >> Yeah, so I go there. >> [laughter]. >> But you you can you understand the. relief when you go into a place like. that and you are 5'4" and you're like. oh, this is for me. >> It's got to feel good. It feels good. >> that you admit that you're 5'4". For years this 5'6" game you were. playing. Spade. Hey, you're on you're on Bad Friends. with me and Bobby. Where do you go to. buy suits?

Um. Oh, I don't know. I probably Be honest. If you're going to get a suit, where do. you go? Be honest. Um I would probably go to Theory or. something. The Prada ones are too tight. But what about if what if. >> your arms. But is there a is there a is. there a shop that you would go to that's. not brand name? Don't say. like the little short play. >> [laughter]. >> Do you ever go to. >> I I went into Jimmy Aus. >> go to Jimmy Aus? >> say Jimmy I don't know how to SAY IT.

EITHER. >> [laughter]. >> I WOULDN'T GO INTO THAT I WOULDN'T GO. INTO THAT [ __ ] [ __ ]. >> [laughter]. >> So wait. >> 4 5 dude. I'm 5 11. Be honest. Be honest. Have you ever shopped at. Jimmy Aus? I swear to god I would never go in there. even if I had to. Your headshot's on the. wall. You just go. I saw you I saw Bobby walk out with. [ __ ] two full bags. >> [laughter]. >> He got a couple of quarters in his while. he was in there. All right, love you buddy.

Love you. Bye. Uh Spaid. Stuff. >> [laughter]. >> We're plugging Jimmy Aus, man. This is. good. >> Yeah. This is good thing. Marcelo. Hernandez would probably go there. No, he'd have No, [clears throat] he'd do. custom. >> Yeah. >> Yeah, he'd do custom. All right. >> I'll wear a suit if you want to wear a. suit. Okay. >> I'm excited about this premiere. I'm not. kidding. I hope the movie's good. >> Yeah. I'm like actually excited for it. >> I am too. And I also that's why I got nervous the. other night cuz I saw the billboard for. the new Pixar movie and I was like, oh.

[ __ ] that's going to bury it. But it. comes out end of March I thought. We're. good. >> Oh, we're good. >> We're good. We'll have some time. >> Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't even know what. it's called. That one. That one that it. looks great. >> looks great. >> Coppers. I know. >> Yeah, that one looks good. Yeah. It. looks so cute. >> Yeah. God, Pixar they don't miss, do they? >> They don't miss at all. >> They just don't miss. >> Yeah. They just don't What? What's the. shrug face? Yeah, what have they missed. They have missed a couple times. >> They've missed a couple times. >> What? Yeah. What? If you're talking. percentage-wise. Elia What's Elia? Elia. >> Elia, yeah, yeah. >> Cars 2.

>> Yeah, yeah. >> Cars 2 was fine. No. Yeah. You're crazy. Cars 2 was fine. Good Dinosaur was fine. Like Your Brave was good. That's people. don't like that cuz they're racist. Uh I don't know. >> ahead. Go to Go to Go to Go to Pixar. movies. Just Just do Pixar movies. >> Yeah, yeah. Their OG was so perfect. Brother, you can't Not everyone You. can't go. undefeated. >> one was the jazz one they did? Oh, I. like. >> The The Eric Griffin was in it. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I like that movie. Well, he looks like the guy from Eric. Griffin looks like. >> Okay, look. Toy Story, all of them.

phenomenal. Finding Nemo, Inside Out. The amazing, I mean, Inside Out, I mean, it's a. Up, classic. >> Coco, Incredibles. Uh Ratatouille. >> zoom in a little? I can't see. >> Soul. These are all bangers. Yeah, bangers. Turning Red. Wall-E. I love Wall-E. >> Incredibles. My point is Stop there. A. Bug's Life. My point is. >> To have that many Stop it. They're. unbelievable. So, they make one or two. that are like not as fun. They're good. They're on fire. They're on fire.

>> But, you know who's going to be on more. fire? >> What? From the creators of the. Spider-Verse comes Goat. >> Yeah. The The littlest to make it to the bigs. in Goat. Can you do your voice that we. do on the movie? I don't remember. >> We do announcers in the movie. We played. two announcers. >> I know you're Yeah, go ahead. Do yours. UH WILL STEALS THE BALL. YEAH, that's. it. I sound like that. I sound It's a. It's I'm stealing from uh. Marv Albert. I sound like Marv Albert. Can you do yours? >> What What was mine?

You're uh yours yours like uh You kept. going like Oh, yeah. >> [laughter]. >> You were like Hey, yeah. Yeah, that's. it. Yeah, that. YEAH. WELL, TAKES IT to the lead. That's. exactly right. >> Yeah, yeah. Also, um remember every time. we would go in, I would go, "Hey, can. you play it again?" So, we could hear. it. Like what I sounded like, because I. forget. >> Well, it's easy to forget. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Cuz you do the sessions every. three [ __ ] months. So, you don't even. know when they happen. Great fruit. plates. They really did knock it out with the. fruit plates. I mean, you know,

sometimes you do ADR, right? >> [laughter]. >> Or and it's like ghetto. Yeah. >> Yeah, but those short little bottles of. water, a brand you never even heard of. But, this one was beautiful cheese and. fruit plates. >> really nice. >> Yeah. Yeah, some of them you go on there. it's a pack of Newports. Yeah. [laughter] Yeah, yeah, for your throat. Yeah. It was way better. It's way. better. >> Doing it together was important. >> it together every time. You know they're. writing a second one right now? No. I. mean I think they make them do that just. in case the first one does well. Doesn't.

mean anything. It just means like if it. does really well, I think they're. writing the second one. Yeah. Those guys. wrote a good book. >> you feel if you got recast? I'd feel like it would be appropriate. No, I think that. >> You killed it. >> No, for big they'd want a name. This is. the thing. If they want a big name, they'd recast us for like they'd be like. and the announcers are played by. >> big. Key and Peele. No. No, we're not Key and Peele. Right. >> Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, we're not Key. and That's what I mean is like if they. wanted to upgrade, they could easily. upgrade. Yeah. And that's fine with me. Not for me.

I don't care, dude. >> Yeah, not for me. I'm I'm entry level. I'm down there. I'll take it. Hey man, I'm I'll park the cars. No, you. won't, dude. >> I'll get out there and park the I used. to love valeting. I valeted at some. point. You try to play this like I'm a. struggling guy and then you're at the. highest level. I'm not a struggling guy. I just don't mind that if someone. replaced me, I wouldn't care. >> most high-class guy I know. He's. down-to-earth though. I'm on the earth. >> Who's the more down-to-earth, Andrew or. me? Andrew. You You walked right into that.

>> [laughter]. >> And you're being real. Oh, stop it. No, dude. Stop it. >> way. Stop it. There's no way. It's You. know what? We both live so You both are. really, really down-to-earth. >> No, that makes me so mad right now. All right. >> Especially with the way what McConaughey. did. He knows the truth. Relax, Billy. Eilish. >> I'm not I'm No, I'm No, I'm No. No one's. illegal ON STOLEN LAND. >> [laughter]. >> YOU'RE RIGHT. NO ONE'S illegal on stolen. land. >> You're not. Yeah, you're right. >> [laughter].

>> Yeah. Yeah. That's the funniest That was the. funniest [ __ ] insane because then her. house is on stolen land. >> I know, that's a fun They found out her. $14 million house is on a stolen land. Whose? Billie Eilish. >> Oh, really? >> No one's illegal on stolen land. >> Yeah. Really? Her house is on a [ __ ] plot of land. that's, you know, whatever. But they you. knew they were going to find that. That's what she said. Billie Eilish. uh sign over her $14 million mansion. If. it's stolen land, hand over the keys, says Tongva tribe Tongva tribe. That's.

funny. If the tribes are coming at you, that's trouble. Be careful, dog. Quince. >> I like looking stylish. I like looking. good. I like looking good fine. And. that's the slogan for Bad Friends for. Quince. If you want to look stylish, good, and fine, a well-built wardrobe is. about pieces that work together that. hold up over time, and that's what. Quince does best. Premium materials, thoughtful design, and everyday staples. that feel easy to wear, easy to rely on, even as the weather shifts. >> Organic cotton sweaters, polos for every. occasion, lighter jackets that keep you. warm in the changing seasons. The list.

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last 5 days? What? I've been playing video games till 9:00. in the morning. And I I woke up 45 minutes before I got. here. I know, you look like it. It. sounds like I can hear it in your voice. >> Yeah, I I'm a lost. >> What game? I revisited Starfield. Oh. What? That's just Yeah. Yeah. And I've just been grinding, and it's I. need help. I [snorts] need help. Why are you doing. this to yourself? Grinding is. it's not what most people.

think. What do you mean? This is what. I've been playing. What is it? Ratchet. and Clank. Oh, yeah. It's really good. People are playing Arc Raiders. Like, Eric Griffin is like, "Hey, man, you. Have you downloaded it yet?". And I'm like, "I don't want to play with. you." No. What? You guys got to You got. to get up, get out, AND DO SOMETHING, >> [laughter]. >> THIS IS CRAZY, DUDE. OH, DUDE. IT'S TOO. much time dedicated to a thing that. doesn't mean anything. >> It means everything. >> [laughter]. >> IT MEANS EVERYTHING. WHEN YOU GO TO A PLANET, YOU GOT to. survey the whole thing. You got to you. you you you You what I mean? All the.

minerals and rocks. >> Okay, but how about it? How about this? How and analyze all the animals and. stuff. How about do it at times when. it's helpful for your your uh circadian. rhythm? Not during How about doing it in. the middle of the day? Okay. What I'm. going to say to you is this, all right? What else is there to do? What do you. mean? Write your next hour? >> [snorts]. >> God, your tone right now, dude. You want. to get defeated? No. >> [laughter]. >> I'll crush the bones in your face. >> some stuff for you. >> What? Meet up with people. Hang out. Go. have a lunch. Go do a writing session. Go exercise. Go see things that you've.

never seen before. >> Yeah. Get up. Get out and do stuff. >> my fifth VR thing the other day by. myself. I'm in the VR suit, right? You know what I mean? I'm trying to do. things. >> is that at? >> in Sherman Oaks somewhere. >> [laughter]. >> By myself, I'm. You know what I mean? >> Why don't you ask anybody to come with. you? >> No one wanted to go. And they were like, "You You're solo? You're spending hundreds of dollars just. to buy yourself." And after about 45. minutes, I eat alone. You know what I. mean? At that little plaza there. This. is self-induced. >> This is me, right?

>> Self-induced. And then I'm like, "What. What else is there to do?". >> [clears throat]. >> Um I'll go to a We Spa. I'm alone, naked. in a spa. I'm alone. Call anybody. >> ALL THE TIME. NEVER calls me. Yeah. Every once in a while Jean will be like, "Let's go to you know what I mean? Young. King.". So we go to Young King, eat sweet and. sour pork. >> Why aren't you trying to go meet up with. chickadees? >> [snorts]. >> Nobody wants to hang out with you. >> That's [ __ ] dude. I've seen your. [ __ ] riot. >> saying is is that, you know, this is me.

for life. >> [laughter]. >> A 13-year-old white boy in the mall? >> Yeah, yeah. My point is is that um what. else is there to do? Go hang out with people. You just don't. reach out. You don't want to reach out. You want people to reach out to you. I mean, the texts I get today, it's like. I mean, there was one thing Marcelo. called and it was like, "You want to eat. dinner at 6:30?" But I had this. You. know what I mean? So you know, but I. wouldn't have done that. Tomorrow night. I'm going to hang out with my my you. know, >> [snorts]. >> the girl that I'm seeing. You know, everyone knows her. And then. um Nobody knows her.

I mean, you know her personally. >> Yeah, but I'm saying. >> I haven't said that. >> don't need to know. >> Yeah, I don't want anyone to know. But, my point is is that So, I do some. things, but it's like And then this. weekend we're going to go to the um. premiere. That's going to be fun. That'll be fun. That's me getting out. But, at night, I'm going to go home you. know what I mean? If that's what you. need, that's what you like, that's what. you like. >> I I I don't know what that I don't know. what's going on, but I'm. >> reporting Does she like the video game. thing? Well, this is what I do. You wait till she goes to sleep. And I wait. I know you. >> I lay there and I wait. >> bad boy, I know you.

>> and if I hear a. right? I slowly get out, right? And I go. to my little cubicle and I start. playing. And they still wake up and it's like, "It's 7:00 in the morning. Want to have. breakfast? I haven't slept yet.". Right? And then there's that thing. And. then does she get mad? People get mad. People get mad. >> I I think it's destroyed every [ __ ]. relationship I've ever had. >> here you are. Yeah, women women don't. get it. This You get it? NOBODY GETS IT. >> [laughter]. >> HE TAKES care of a baby, this guy. He's.

got baby hands, man. Well, are you going. to have another baby? Too much work. I feel like it's coming. No, it's too much work. I feel like it's. coming. Cuz you feel. >> to have two. Yeah. >> to have two. Well, they can watch each. other. You got to put one make one stare. at the other one. Then I need a raise, Bobby. Okay. You do such a great job here. We'll. we'll consider it. Would Do we really? We're not going to. do that, are we? Yeah. Give him a raise. This guy's. editing. I don't want him to [ __ ] I. know, but there's no one that edits.

better than. >> You think we can't find someone? I don't. think that's good as. >> Hey out there in the Bad Friends world, let's. >> [laughter]. >> Let's get a good editor. I think that. you're right. Don't email us. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, don't email us. We won't. open Carlos. I'm deleting every I. I couldn't imagine life without being. growing up with my brother. Mhm. My would say Steve. Yeah. How about your. brother or your sister? >> Yeah. You can't imagine life. You were much older. Yeah, but I imagine. I I I imagine life with I can't imagine. life without it. >> I can't. Yeah. >> Yeah, yeah. And were you saying that the. same with Fancy? Yeah, I I I think that.

No, he's not saying he cannot imagine. life with me. He's saying to have. another kid. >> Yeah, I. >> [laughter]. >> can't imagine life without you. I'll be. real. At this point in our lives, I can't. imagine life without you. Huh. I love. you that much. Thank you, buddy. >> Right? You me and [snorts] me, but I. love you that much. >> [laughter]. >> Right? I did fight for him to get a. raise today. He has no idea. No. I did. You did? I. did. >> And then what happened? We're going to see. Okay. We're [clears throat] going to see what. happens. >> Yeah. I I I I I. >> And you. I I Yeah. Thank you. Not you.

Not you. Scum. Trash. Pig. But you know, I would fight for you, McConne, even. though you don't fight for me, I would. fight for you. McConne has Not only has. McConne not fought for you, he goes. against you often. >> I know he does. >> As much as he can. Yeah, yeah, I know he. does. >> Now, if you call him to go play video. games, he would be there. >> He would be there in a heartbeat. You. know, I saw a guy I watched a guy get. his car keyed get his car keyed. yesterday and it it was like crazy to. watch. That doesn't bother me. A guy keying his. car? He key I watched the guy key a. guy's car.

>> own car. Like who cares? >> Well, yeah, you did. >> [laughter]. >> It's insane. >> That's the thing about you This is what. what you guys with your cars. Huh? I'm. talking about macho men. You know what I. mean? The Steve. >> [laughter]. >> McQueen. Macho macho man. Macho man. man. I'd. like to key a macho man's car. I'm just. saying but a little fender bender, a. little key, you know what I mean? You. guys go ape [ __ ]. >> No, this guy scratched the whole of his. car. >> Then what? It. It doesn't Does the car still run? It bro- it broke the engine.

>> [laughter]. >> It's just a It's just a shitty thing to. do. >> a shitty thing to do. >> But but but it's crazy to see it. >> But is that fighting? Huh? >> Like if I you. My name is Let's have a guy. >> [laughter]. >> Yeah. All right, we'll pretend. My name is Tango. Hello, Tango. >> Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you catch me. keying your car. Yeah. Yeah, with a. razor blade. Okay, interesting choice. >> [laughter]. >> All right, well, um Usually you'd use a. a raw mule in life. Or a thing that's in the word.

>> [laughter]. >> Perhaps a key? No, I don't use keys. >> All right. >> Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I use um. You know what I'm going to use? A. tweezer. Then I might [ __ ] it up. >> Yeah, cuz it's two. Yeah, double. >> You get two scrapes. >> Mhm. And I'm. I'm doing it. Is that Was it Is that. fighting? Do I fight you? >> Yeah, do you fight me? Do you physically. assault me? Well, here's the problem. I. know you are mentally unstable. NO, I'M. TANGO. >> [laughter]. >> CORRECT. NO, TANGO I WORK AT KINKO'S.

Tango is in a of sound state of mind. Yeah, and I I'm a manager at Kinko's. I. have You know what I mean? I have a dog. Oh, you're bummed because. Kinko's is closing down. So, obviously. you're upset. >> Yeah, I am a little upset about that, but I just didn't like your vibe. >> No, you key my car. >> Yeah, so I just keyed it with with. tweezers. Is Are they fighting? No, I like the. Kinko's on fire. Oh, you do? Yeah, I come back. >> store. I just manage there. >> No, I know. You don't have a job there. anymore, then. Yeah, yeah. And then. every time you get replaced to another. Kinko's store, I light that one on fire. >> I'm sorry. Um I got a job offer from.

Michael's. I go to Michael's. I light. that whole [ __ ] thing up. That's. flammable. It's all It's all, you know, paper. >> Yeah. I'm going to light I'm in the. Velcro section. Okay. >> [laughter]. >> I'm at Michael's. I'm lighting every. business you go to. >> marker. >> on fire. Every business you work at I'm. lighting it on fire. Okay. To make sure. that you never work again. >> know those. Then I steal your dog. Oh, now that's wow. >> While you're at work at Michael's, I. steal your dog. >> Really? Yep. You know what I do? What do. you do? What? >> What? I steal your coffee machine.

Brother. [laughter]. Yeah, not not good. You got me. Yeah, you got No, I steal. >> You got me good. >> Yeah, yeah. No, you key my car and I'll. steal your dog. >> I break your wife's ankle. Which one? Left or right? Both. That's good. >> [laughter]. >> Yeah, one would have been. >> going to do? >> easy to deal with. >> Right. What you going to do, dude? I'm going to kidnap your brother. >> [laughter]. >> Wait, you Now we're getting personal. >> YOU SAID MY WIFE. YOU'RE. OH, THAT'S TRUE. >> YEAH. >> [laughter]. >> TANGO'S SAYING IT.

OKAY, HOW DOES TANGO KNOW? YEAH. I [ __ ] Wikipedia you. >> I'm famous. Tango has a wife? Yeah. I. mean, Tango has a brother? Yeah, Tango. has a brother. >> Mango? Yeah. I kidnapped Mango. >> Mango? I don't like Mango. Well, good. I'm going to kill him. Sell him for. parts. Yeah. Steal his organs. Yeah. Yeah. >> [laughter]. >> Yeah. Okay. Is that okay? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm going to sell his organs. >> to let I'm going to light. the wedding on fire. Your sister's. wedding. Really? >> Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. >> Why why don't go to arson? That's my. thing. Oh, that is?

>> I light fires. >> Yeah. You know what? Agent Orange. That's I No. My thing again. I'm going to fly a little tiny plane, a. Buddy Holly plane, >> [laughter]. >> over your your sister's wedding, Agent. Orange it. They'll think it's a wedding gift for. me. Yeah. Uh the discombobulator. That's right. Neutralize Russian and Chinese radar. missile systems. Is Is it orange? What does it do? Well, it was it was it killed it killed. a lot of people. It was awful. It is. terrible. Yeah, it like seized up your.

whole body. It's like shut down your. organs, right? It affects multiple. systems leading to various cancers, prostate and lung, nervous system. disorders, Parkinson's, neuropathy, heart disease, diabetes. It was. incredible. It was just like huffing the. most like toxic chemical in the world. >> the smell of napalm in the morning. Yeah. What movie was that? Platoon. No. >> No. >> No. Apocalypse Now. Apocalypse Now. Apocalypse Now. Yeah. What are you going. to get me from What are you going to get. my sister for her her wedding as a gift? She does expect. >> think I'm invited to the wedding. Yeah, she was going to invite you. Are you. being real? Mhm. If I get invited to the. wedding, I'll go.

Will you really? Yeah. What kind of gift. would you give? What Don't they have the thing where you. I go to a website? Yeah, I go to a. website. You know where they're. registered? Where? Jimmy Oz. >> [laughter]. >> Yeah, well then I'm going to get a lot. of things for [laughter] their child. >> [snorts]. >> When they have a child? She would flip. her [ __ ] if you showed up to the. wedding. >> I would go. It's so far away, you're not. going to do it. >> Are you going? To my sister's [ __ ] wedding? >> [laughter]. >> Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I think so. Yeah, [snorts] it'll keep me away from the. video games. You [ __ ] funny [ __ ].

Yeah, I want to go. >> It's going to be amazing. The resort is. sick. I want to go. Okay. Yeah, yeah. Like I don't want it to pass and then. you go you go. you're going to say, "Oh, I didn't think. you were going to I'll talk to her. She. would never think you would go. I would. 100% go. And I'd be polite. Of course. you would. You'd be the best. My my. family would lose their mind to see you. there. I would love to go. Yeah. When are we going to go to your wedding? Mhm. I I I am excited to walk you down the. aisle. You think that you're a my best man? Your dad walks you down the aisle, you're the bride.

>> [laughter]. >> Your dad's dead. I'm. You think the best man walks you down. the aisle? That's so funny. >> know. That is a Bobby wedding. >> Yeah, yeah, yeah. What is a best man? >> I First of all, I would be a 100% one of. your best men. How many is there? Six? You can have as many as you want, it's. your choice. >> Yeah, yeah. Oh, you'd be a part of the. six. >> Your brother would be in there. Yeah. Me. Yeah. Gene. Yeah. This is right now at this date, yeah. Any celebrities? Steven Tyler. Michael Bay. Michael Bay.

Maybe I would ask Michael. That'd be. cool. He blow He blows up your wedding. >> [laughter]. >> Yeah, who would be my best man? It'd be. Gene. Um. McConaughey be the ring bearer. Probably my sponsor. Yeah, you'd have to have him. >> Yeah, get him. Bring Also bring Danny up, my old. sponsor. >> You have to bring Danny. >> Yeah. It'd be crazy if the bachelor. party is just us watching him play video. games for 7 hours at night. We just sit. in a hotel room. We get a really nice. hotel suite. Where do I do it though? Your wedding? Yeah. I know.

>> Something exotic. No. And that people. can afford to go to. Uh exotic affordable is tough. It is. It's usually not affordable if it's. exotic. But to go to like an island, like you know what I mean? Like like. >> Topanga. Right. Right. Topanga from Boy. Meets World. >> Well, we'd have to pay for it. I'm not paying for Topanga. I mean you. got to pay for yourself. You know how. much the wedding's going to cost? >> I You know where you should do your. wedding? Where? Soul. Mhm. >> Soul. In my heart. In your heart?

>> [laughter]. >> Is that what you mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, Korea. Yes. >> You thought I MEANT YOUR SOUL? [laughter]. ACTUALLY, YOU KNOW WHAT? >> WERE GOING to have it right in here. [laughter]. In my heart. >> That's beautiful. >> You would I know for a fact you would. have a wedding in Hawaii, 100%. I think. Hawaii. >> There's no doubt in my mind. >> no doubt. >> Yeah, yeah, yeah. You would have it in. Hawaii. It's easy. People can get there. West Coast for sure, yeah. >> Yeah, yeah. But you don't you wouldn't. Who would you know on the East Coast. that you would invite anyway?

Do you have any friends that live East? I would invite A-Town. He would never go. >> I know he wouldn't. >> In a million years. Yeah, I would. invite, they wouldn't come. Comics, you're saying? Yeah. Yeah. There's other. com- yeah. The East Coast comics, a few a hand Like. Chris Stefano? He would go 100%. >> Yeah. Yiannis? Yiannis Pappas? >> Yeah. One of the best. What Yia- Yiannis. for sure. He'd show up. Yiannis. >> Greek freak. >> Chris, um. let's see Austin guys. Rogan. >> Adam Eget? Would you invite Rogan? I. would, he wouldn't come. I bet you he. would. If he got invited, I guarantee.

you he'd come. Adam Eget? I love Eget. >> Yeah. He would go. He would go. Um who else from Austin? Shane, [snorts] you'd invite Shane? He. would Yeah, he wouldn't come. Yeah, why. why do you wouldn't he? But I would. invite him. Why wouldn't he come? He's too busy. >> Yeah. Tom and Bert. Yeah, Tom and Bert. Which. one first though? >> [gasps]. >> Don't put me in this situation. >> [laughter]. >> Don't put me in this situation. That was. a good one. You almost said it. >> Huh? Do you want I would send it out. exactly at THE SAME [laughter] TIME.

YEAH, YEAH, YEAH. AND NO GIRLS? OH, YEAH, YEAH. >> all guys. Yeah, I would invite Esther. Andrea Jin. Andrea Jin, Khalyla. Yeah. Um I would invite. um. >> Khalyla should do the wedding. She. should do the uh. Yeah. What is that? Be the pastor. >> Pastor, yeah, whatever. Yeah. Or the. ceremonial person. >> Probably Catbird. So new to you. Yeah, but she's pretty. close. So yeah, right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. >> Um I took her and Joey Diaz down to San. Diego. Fantastic.

>> Yeah. She did great, right? >> did great. He did great, too. Do you. know that kid? Yeah, Joey's great. Yeah, yeah, yeah. >> Yeah, they both did great. >> Yeah. Shout out to those guys. Comedy. Store is is on the move. Got a lot of. young talent down there. Oh, in Hollywood? The Comedy Store in San Diego. There's a. lot of young. >> good There's some great people there. >> guys. There are a lot of door guys. Some. great ones. >> I think it's funny that the girls call. themselves door guys. Yeah. I mean, they. all they choose to go, "Hi, I'm a door. guy at the Comedy Store." Yeah. It's. like a fun little title I never had. I wish I did. >> you what happened the other day at the.

store? No. And it's it's crazy. Yeah, [laughter] yeah. I CAN'T. I CAN'T. I CAN'T EXPLAIN WHAT HAPPENED THROUGH. CAVE. RIGHT. YEAH. This is crazy. >> Comedy Cave. We should start a comedy. club called the Comedy Cave. And you got. to do that up there. So I'm I'm at the. Comedy Store and there's a door guy. there I've never talked to in my life. And he comes up to me and he goes, um.

"Can I talk to you?". I go, "Yeah, sure." [snorts]. I don't know his name. You don't know. who this person is? >> him around. He seems very nice. >> Sure. And he goes, "Hey, if you want to ever. get together and talk about Jesus. Christ.". >> [snorts]. >> Shut up. Shut up. Who said that? I swear to God. it happened. You don't know who it is. though, you know? >> I do know. Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah. And I go, "What?". >> [laughter]. >> That's I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm right? He. goes, "Yeah, I mean, if you you you want to. get together and talk about the Lord, you know what I mean? I'm I would really.

like that, you know?" Sounds nice. Yeah, and I go, "Okay.". You don't want [snorts] to do it? And I. I came this close to calling Peter Shore. and getting him [ __ ] fired. >> [laughter]. >> No, I don't know. It It felt. um intrusive. Yeah. Because if you don't have a like a. relationship with somebody, and that's. your opener, that's your opener. Like, we've never. talked about anything, but Yeah, but. maybe that's means a lot to him, and he. you mean a lot to him, so these two. things can combine. >> you're saying to me is I should I should.

take him up on. >> Give it a chance. Let Jesus into your. heart. >> [laughter]. >> Into your soul, South Korea. Let Jesus. into your soul, South Korea. >> All right, so you're at the Comedy. Store. Yeah. I'm a new door guy. Yeah. I don't I I don't know you at all. Yeah. Santino! >> [ __ ] away from me. Say [laughter] it. No, no. No. >> Say Santino! Hey, what's up, brother? I'm Bobby Mom. Oh, yeah, what up, man? Yeah, it's fun, right? >> It's good stuff. Yeah, thanks, man. >> [laughter]. >> I love it. Yeah, good. >> Yeah, yeah. Thanks. You have my keys for the car? Yeah, I. do, but can I talk to you about. something first? Oh, what's up?

>> Yeah. Um. do you know Allah? >> [snorts]. >> Yeah. Yeah. I'm I'm a Christian, so I don't. >> [laughter]. >> I'd love to tell. As a Muslim, I'd love to tell you about. him. >> this way now? No, man. >> Do you still want to do it? Diversion. Diversion. Yeah, yeah. Smart. Yeah. Do. you know Buddha? Yeah, I know Buddha. Yeah. I don't. Christian. Oh. You want to talk about. the Lord? Jesus. Yeah. Love to. Yeah. Tomorrow? Today. Like tomorrow, like you want to have. lunch? >> No, I'd like to do it right now.

Let me stay I'm going to stay. Come on, get in my car real fast. And you would you would. >> Take your shirt off, get in my car. Let's talk about Jesus. >> I There's no way you would allow that to. happen. I would he was interesting. enough. If he If the dude was interesting. enough, I'd chat with him. >> dude. Do you guys believe that he would. do that? Be real. No way. >> no way, dude. >> Running out of there. >> There's no way. [laughter]. >> [ __ ] you guys, dude. What are you trying. to [ __ ] put out there? That you're an. everyday man? I would would. I'm not. going to talk to a door guy? What are.

you talking about? Of course I will. I. talk to the door guys all the time. >> Unless Unless the door guy's name is. Taylor Swift. You would do it. Yeah, yeah. [laughter]. If Taylor at Yeah, you would do it. No, I would talk I talk to door guys all the. time. If someone said I want to talk to. you about Jesus, I said, "What do you. want to talk about?". I would talk to him. What do you mean? WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT, DUDE? >> IF HE SAID THAT, I'd go, "What do you. mean?". >> intimidating guy at the store. How. That's not [ __ ] true. >> go They tremble. That is You're making. up [ __ ]. >> remember that one.

Right? No, but the store guys I'm nice. to all those guys. Ask any store guy. Ask any door kid. I'm nice to all of. them. Like okay. >> There's not one of them that I'm that's. like, "No, he's mean." Yeah, um I'm. excited I will say I'm excited for the. Goat movie. So please this will be out. So please go watch Goat. It premieres. out in theaters. uh uh February. 13th? Is that right? >> Yep. I think that's the date. Yeah. >> February 13th all over the United States. of America and it's going to be all over. the world. So if you're in China, please. go see Goat. >> Yeah. They got into China. That's a big.

deal. Mhm. Yeah. >> Cuz right, they don't let anybody go. over there now? Well, let's hope and let's hope that you. like our our performance. We're in it a. lot. We're in it a good amount. >> I'm also listed on the IMDb. I'm listed. as you. I think it says Andrew Santino plays. Bobby. >> [laughter]. >> It might even list it at all. >> You are, but you said yours has your. character. >> Oh. I don't know why. For some reason. Bobby Lee plays voice. Andrew Santino voice. Oh, they must have. fixed it cuz it originally said Bobby. Yeah, they fixed it. Uh Jennifer Hudson. Jellyroll. Hey, look at the people that.

are in there, huh? Wow. >> Ayesha Curry. Go up [snorts] top though. to the Those are the other ones that are. Nick Kroll, Gabrielle Union, Caleb. McLaughlin plays Will, David Harbour, Stephen. Jennifer Lewis, Patton Oswalt, and Steph. Curry. Wow. So cool. It's a pretty cool combo. >> It'll be fun. Well, please go see it. >> it out. >> Thank you for being a bad friend.