Call of Duty: Emotional Warfare | Ep 24 | Bad Friends with Andrew Santino and Bobby Lee

you two are bad friends who are these. two idiots. white dude i'm an asian dude you two. are disgusting oh you two or something. we're bad. friends hey who went to joshua tree. did you have a fun time oh my god you. know it's like in the movies. you know there's uh a bunch of [ __ ]. cars ramming into each other in the. desert. white dude bald white dudes with [ __ ]. chrome. oh yeah yeah yeah joshua.

tree man oh no it's out there you do. some mushrooms man yeah yeah. and then there's um a lot of dirty. whites out there a lot of dirty whites. yeah that's what goes to the desert. dirty whites i love it i like the desert. man it's. it's uh there's nothing to do that's. number one. no there's so much to do well there you. could look at rock formations. you could go you could go hiking rock. formations you could go swimming i can. go hiking here. where in uh like the hollywood. the hollywood hills yeah but you won't i.

would i've never. i know that's my point yeah i have never. at least if you didn't i didn't go. hiking. there as well i know but what i do love. about it it's. alone time with me and my family so it's. not alone at all. it's completely alone it's like the most. alone i've ever felt. and you're with six other people well i. have to i'm there with the old man raj. you were there with all then raj. kalila's mama and papa. i went with uh do they like you it's. like is not the word.

i would use it's um they tolerate. love they love you you are loved because. i'm. i'm a special one yeah you're a special. i'm a giver oh really you're shaking. your head i'm not. who won chiki-cha what's chiki chow is. that like a filipino carnage asian. who won chika-cha i took second and one. tournament roger. i took second in that tournament and. then who who won the four man. chikicha you yeah do you know why what's. the song.

and chicago for the mind my friend i'm. gonna win the battle of the brain. a cheeky job yeah pick up your card. check it out. yeah yeah so we did that what else did. we do i saw. the family went hiking and you didn't go. i heard and you brought your hiking. boots. well no i bro somebody bought me brand. new hiking boots. that have never been worn who bought. them kala yeah why you say somebody.

[Laughter]. like it's a mystery who else would get. you hiking boots sometimes i get hiking. boots underneath my pillow from the. magical ferry. so they all went hiking you did not. would you did you sleep when they were. hiking. for the brain yeah in the mind of the. brain. the first the first iteration is mine. yeah. um did you enjoy the nature did you soak. it up bob i've been there before. what we also did was um we have some. hippie friends out there.

shane d yeah yeah yeah. burning woman burning woman and uh she. has a. boyfriend his name is. linus. [Laughter]. if i've never met a guy named linus is. linus the stinky one. yes the one that has.

and linus owns a coffee shop. slash pizza place slash cbd. emporium yeah so we opened it up. necklace maker slash. 311 uh international disc burner. yeah yeah i know this guy i know linus. yeah. and linus opened up his coffee shop. pizza he made pizza for us it was fun. that's awesome did you make pizza no oh. would he let you make hand make pizza or.

no oh no no i don't know how what's his. shop called should we shout it out i. don't know linus. i'll go to linus's pizza and coffee. coffee yeah linus pizza coffee. yeah there was a you know there's a show. called i like it's called. body bazaar no i don't know it. body bazaar is a very interesting show. it has every episode has. three very unique physical conditions or. abnormalities or deformities this is. where the the thing came from that you. taught me about.

what this is where that crazy deformed. disease person came from. a different one. not progeria the other one that you. showed me uh. the one where it's like pre-pose that's. it. which one you you you showed me a. picture of someone on the internet do. you remember yeah that one that's. called uh harlequin harlow harley quinn. harlequin ichi. there is somebody with harlequin in it. but there's other diff.

crazy ones where um they have ones where. they have a skin disorder. they do they have a skin disorder where. um. you know they they're born with um no. skin. what do you oh i've seen that yeah it's. it's almost like you can see their veins. and you can see the inner workings. yeah they're translucent yeah i saw this. one where um. the mother in the mornings have to wrap. you know his son. like as like a mummy before he goes out.

before he goes to school. like a mummy and then at night he has to. take a. three-hour bath to take the bandages off. and every layer it takes off and he. screams because it fuses to his skin. yeah and he has to live like that. every [ __ ] day don't you feel lucky. yeah i want it you want it yeah i do. want it. do you see my freckly freckly i got more. sun yesterday and you know what my. babysitter used to do. my mexican babysitter she used to take.

me on the roof when she was. tanning what was her name lisa. mexican alvarez oh there we go she'd. take me on the roof. and um she hated my freckles and she. would make fun of me. and she says freckles are ugly and i and. i got self-conscious you know what she. used to do. she just put lemon juice on my freckles. to see if they'd go away yeah. she tried to burn them off my body yeah. freckles are. are ugly why why not.

what's ugly about it it it gives me a. little bit of style it just for me. um i just don't i used to date a girl. with freckles. yeah yeah and i used to like when she. was sleeping at night. i'd connect the dots yeah. yeah it's just a freaky little thing. that. humans have it gives me texture you can.

call that. in the same way in the same way that. your skin tone is. is yellow it has a yellow undertone. there's no yellow it's so funny. you know what you do have yellow i'm i. have a red red or orange i'm red and. orange undertone you have yellow. underneath. if this was let me ask you something if. you pulled out a crayon. with my skin this it wouldn't say yellow. yeah. it wouldn't say yellow on the thing. you'd be closer to yellow than you would. any other color in the. brown no you're not brown oh my god.

you're [ __ ] ridiculous. you have an undertone of yellow skins. have have undertones. look it up i have an undertone of. reddish and orange. so what does julia rudy bad rudy what. does she have. understood undertone um uh. taupe it's a taupe color it's like a. it's like a yeah. poop yeah yeah. so i have undertale well does my you met. my brother he has it too. he's a deeper he's his yellow is deeper. than yours deeper yellow.

it's almost burnt yellow burnt yellow. isn't that a yellow. yeah sun crisp sun crisp yeah yeah. he uh it's uh he's he's like a heat. miser yellow like it's. it's really intense but it's it's the. depth of you know how the middle of a. fire the hottest part of a fire. you know what i mean it's like d it's. like guttural and deep yeah it's deep. your red is um very deep as well i know. this well it's more orange i think i'm. more orange beyond my hair.

yeah it's like um my tone is orange. it's like the color of you know how a. dog's dick comes out. the lipstick yeah the lipstick part yeah. yeah like this. you take that yeah and you you chop that. part out. if i was gonna make your collar i would. chop that part out. yeah and then i would probably take a. really. strawberry starburst yeah yeah smash. that. right grind it together yeah and then i. would take um.

just a big steamy pile of [ __ ]. you know and that's the my color yeah. yeah here's what you are yeah what. you're a uh i'll take a couple of glass. noodles. yeah and i mesh the glass noodles. together with your urine but urine. dehydrated urine. hot bright yellow dehydrated i didn't. drink water for a week urine yeah okay. then i mix that around for a while then. i take fingernail clippings. okay fingernail clippings mash that. together inside of there. a couple of a couple of the butts of.

cigarettes a couple of cigarette butts. for texture and and and uh absorbency. yeah smash that together yeah and that's. you. ah you know what i would do for you. you're a noodle cigarette butt toenail. yeah that's your. if that would that would be your scent. that would be your scent if someone said. what does bobby smell like i go. noodle cigarette butt toenail what is. mine. dog you sink you think i'm a dog dick no. yours is um if you took like.

a fat karen okay you know in the park. a meredith any yeah no a karen's. complaining but a meredith is the fat. cat yeah yeah yeah i'm meredith. yes and she's complaining right but she. happens to have a yeast infection. right and i tackle that little meredith. down right. and i you know put a hazmat suit on. whatever because i don't like meredith. meredith the smell down there right and. i would shave off. you know what i mean bits of that yeast. yeah stick it in one of those like. those little you know in asia we would.

we crunch like nuts and stuff in a. little medicine bowl that's right yeah. i'll stick that in there right. and i was sneaking in the white house. right what are you doing in the white. house. to get trump i need trump [ __ ]. okay yeah and i would take i had lunch. with him yesterday no you didn't. and that would take the tears the taint. hairs of trump. yeah because it's redder than most yeah. and it's also. mixed in with like lies yeah and deceit. yeah yeah i'll clip that out yeah stick.

it in with the meredith ease. right and then i would take that um. what's that animal in chicago the. grizzly animal. in chicago your mom. it's funny that grizzly animal it's. don't don't talk about my mother well. it's just a joke. relax yeah my mother's very pretty she's.

a beautiful woman unlike your cross-eyed. mother. don't you you don't have to [ __ ] get. i'm not bobby mudder. i'm i'm bobby mom you're so [ __ ] mean. dude. that's your skin color anyway um your. mom you know what your mom looks like. what your mom looks like you know when. kids dress up as old people. yeah and they're that's what your mom. looks like a kid. that's wearing a mask you know kids are. dressing up like old people to buy booze. with. uh during covid this is a real thing.

young teenagers. will put on a ton of like makeup in like. a bonnet. and they wear the mask because it covers. up the majority of their face and their. hair yeah and they wear old people. clothes they're going to thrift stores. and they're getting canes and they're. walking in they're buying booze they're. [ __ ] geniuses. they caught a bunch of teenagers doing. it just the other day wow how smart. when you because i haven't been to a. store since the pandemic i know. do you have to like how do you if i give. them a credit card and they go. um id please nobody asks for id they.

don't i swear to god i have mine. but i don't get asked for id when i buy. booze or anything anyway anymore but. i've i've never seen them. but now everyone does apple pay you know. you have this really. weird like um because you know sometimes. when i look at you. i think to myself here's a really good. bro. a guy that i could be ch. pals with come around you know i mean. it's almost as if. you and i are two children that really. didn't grow up with each other but we've. it's almost as if a couple neighborhoods.

away i've no i've known you for all my. life. yeah and that we we've been doing this. from the dawn of time yeah being. reincarnated and doing it again and. again. right but then sometimes i feel like i. don't know you at all. and that you are an evil piece of. garbage human. and i just don't want to be there with. you. where i want to be is with the chummy. you know. whimsical when we're having fun having. fun but that's only like that's only.

when you want to have it the parental. you know oh you don't like to be told. what to do you're disappointed. you got mad at me because i didn't. [ __ ] play video games because i just. couldn't admit. the truth yeah which is i [ __ ] don't. want to play video games with a group of. people. i don't i don't it's fine i don't want. to play with a bunch of strangers. if you said let's sit in a room and play. super nintendo together i'd probably be. here for 10 hours. but instead i don't want to be online. you don't have. number one we we don't have to stream it. it's on the internet. i've seen it all i've no know i know you.

my brother doesn't like when people. stream you guys stream every week i know. but there are people that. he'll go on and say he'll go i don't. want to stream and they'll turn it off. my point is is this. how do you know they turn it off how do. i destroy them what do you mean can't. they just record it without you knowing. what they're gonna listen i play with a. kid. named raymond i know raymond i've said. i've heard about that or this kid right. yeah if he put on if he streamed. because sometimes i'll go my manager.

will call. and i'll go put everyone pause the. stream they all pause it. because i want to talk to them my. manager about things you're just. trusting all these random strangers from. the internet. no they're friends now you don't even. know them i do know them i know them as. much as i know anybody else. all you know about them is that you. enjoy playing video games together. when you're playing listen it's not as. if you're when you're playing you're. gonna give me some philosophical depth. about you playing a video game makes you. like best friends with somebody no. no but i'm just saying that what you. think to yourself is is that.

when i'm playing it's not as if we're. constantly strategizing what are you. talking about we talk about how was your. day at work. you know this happened but you don't. remember what does remy do for work he. used to work at a car dealership but. then he got fired now he works at a. four-star hotel as a receptionist. because he's moving here in september. he's trying to save his money. why is he coming to l.a because he wants. to do he always he used to work for like. a. um a sports local sports show in his. um hometown of georgia and um.

he he was doing their social media. and and he also was producing some. segments he's always wanted to live in. that world. he's a huge fan of yours he huge fan of. mine he's a huge. podcast fan he knows all of them so he's. become a real friend he's. i'm friends with all of them but the. other people you don't know as well. yeah i only play with people that i know. in the beginning yes. i'll be at yes but the ones that i'm. playing with now so you're developing a. relationship with these. they're my friends you're falling in. love with these people on the internet. yeah. that's not f it's not people from the.

internet they're just kids. that are always on how old are they. ramy's. 20. how old are the rest of them i play. with this kid named um. josh price nice kid from denver 14. 15. no he has like a little deficiency. oh he's disabled. just inside his mind and yeah and then i. play with a guy named. matt who lives in wales and he's a um. he's a taekwondo. instructor but he's missing an arm. that's got to be tough. yeah if you look at his instagram he's. just going ha ha.

the whole time with just one arm and he. uses his legs. and then this one it's like ah only is. right he can only do it it's a knob. it's a nub yeah he's like get over here. yeah but he doesn't wear those. prosthetic things. yeah he just uses you know he's a the. nut freaks people out with a knob. well then you know you know what nubs to. me need to be. perfected do you do you pilot do you. polish a knob or do you color it i would. you know like you know a pool cue i. would use that. yeah we use that blue stuff yeah yeah. for my nub because you want more.

attention on the nub i feel like most. people don't want any attention on the. knob yeah or you know when um gymnasts. they use that powder. uh chocolate chocolate yeah i'll put. that that and. then well it dries it out but now i'm. not done. and then i would scrape it with [ __ ]. sandpaper i would go to home depot get. just a sheet of sandpaper just scrape it. so it just evens out you know smooth. smooth it out. yeah you know what i would do i would. get a prosthetic yeah with with skin on. the outside you know that it looks like. an arm. but i want it twice as long as my other. one so i just want one arm like this and.

one arm like this at all times just. yeah just a huge left arm yeah and the. other one's like this i just have a. string where you just kind of. yeah yeah control it or you could. probably get a. you know a tattoo well i know a friend. who has a who has. and has a missing limb and he has. tattoos all over it. like the first joke he got was you. should see the other guy on his nub. and then underneath he wrote um uh don't. play with knives. and then he's got all these he's got. tons of tattoos joking about the nub. and then just to like give shape and art.

to it yeah it's an art nub. his name is make it so it looks like you. know. it's infected you know i mean. yeah like it's almost like you know like. people are like that just happened. and you're like oh yeah you could go in. and do that. pretend every time yeah we just walk. into a bank. you know people go i would constantly. you know how they can have those those. fire suits you know how they can they. can put enough of that stuff. on to i would constantly light it on.

fire and just wave around that's. that's how you could get free [ __ ] walk. in somewhere go call the police they. would run out. take [ __ ] blow it off and then go out. the back. if if you could lose one of your limbs. what would you lose. if i could if you had to if you had to. choose. both or you got to choose a limit like. these are the kind of games. these are the kind of questions that you. play when you're i remember in high. school you'd go camping for the first. time. with your buddies and you would uh.

you know there's nothing to do there's. nothing to do you set the fire. there's nothing to do so you just kind. of you guys want to play a game. mm-hmm and then be like yeah it's like. all right so. who would you [ __ ] bobby me or randy. well i know where that's going yeah. you're because you're like both. i'd [ __ ] both of them no this ends up. being an orgy this is what you're trying. to say you're trying to do one of these. trick things on trying to get me. involved in something that you did. i didn't have sex with my friends like.

you did you weirdo i didn't have sex. with you. you know when you go out to camp and. your buddy's like show us your penis we. should kiss him no no. you did do a lot of weird stuff like. that when you were a kid you had weird. moments of doing weird i guarantee you. you had a moment in the woods with a. friend. who made you do something uncomfortable. didn't didn't they. maybe yeah yeah you're trying to make it. seem like. everyone had that experience the. weirdest thing we ever did was. a leg yeah a leg you'd lose a leg yeah. right or left my left leg why.

it's the weakest out of all my limbs you. do have a bad left leg yeah. the knee is not good um you're just. talking about arms and legs correct. yeah but you can't get a prosthetic what. no left arm then left arm. yeah because you use your right arm too. jack off mm-hmm. i use oh also the guy the guy matt who i. played with from wales. lemmy i don't know is his name matt. limby. no matt nubbin nothing yeah he has one.

arm matt nubbin yeah he. i don't know how he plays but he plays. with the nub. is that on is the nub on the joystick. and then the buttons are his right hand. i think he uses his knob i don't know. what nub and then he plays. but he is very good on a computer. desktop or this is on ps4 well you know. with warzone you can put people. most people play a lot of people play it. on computer how many is it ps5 now. it's all cross platforms what do you. have a ps4. is five out coming out when does it come. out soon. are you excited not really well i get it.

do you get i don't get excited about any. technology i do oh my god the new. iphone comes out i was like i'm not like. oh what can well you play video games so. much wouldn't that be. it's like saying a new piece of golf. equipment comes out i do get excited. because i'm like that would be cool to. use. yeah but when a new console comes out. the games aren't really necessarily the. first generation of that console games. are always necessarily that great. because they're beta. yeah um but yeah i i'm not that excited. you know.

but in terms of war zone let's go back. to that um i've only asked you to play. because. it's just pure joy and fun. i want i want to have fun with you my. problem with video games is. yeah when i play them it's a personality. trait. i feel like i should have been doing. something else my brain goes. you should be writing you should be. working out you should be um. cooking you should be talking to someone. you should be. but in my mind it feels like i'm just. killing a clock.

to me it's not that i fight i feel the. enemy. are you i feel the opposite i feel like. i'm really accomplishing something but. you're not. he looks asleep you guys um andrew and i. got. um a couple of months ago helix sleep in. our mattresses yeah mattresses. and we opened it up and we used them and. um i'm telling you right now. wow wow we've had sleepovers with them. which is kind of nice bob will come over. sleep on mine i'll go sleep on his. because. we have different helix sleep numbers. you get online and you take this little.

quiz and they tell you your body type. mine was obviously. athletic firm tight and and uh you know. young and vibrant bob's was large um. uh lopey and yeah what is it lopey. lopey mumpy mumpy and bumpy yeah but. it's still good yeah. uh you know what sleeping to me is you. know. your whole life it's your whole life and. if without good sleep it could just. dictate. the direction of your life that's. exactly right helix is going to take. care of that get online take the quiz. they can ship you exactly the mattress.

that you want it comes in a box to your. front door. you don't have to go anywhere and go get. it it's like a personalized bed guys. it is it's literally personalized make. it the way you want yeah it's awesome uh. don't take our word for it they're rated. number one overall mattress pick. 2020 gq and wired magazine it is pretty. incredible. the way it comes to your front door. sleek and cool they keep you so nice at. night. and comfy i love it very much go to. helixsleep.com. bad friends take their two minute quiz. and they'll match you with a customized. mattress of your choice the best sleep. of your life it's a 10 year warranty 10.

years yeah. it's coming uh we're offering up 200 off. all mattress orders and two free pillows. listen seriously you get two bucks three. pillows two yep you want one for your. neck and one for your legs. uh our listeners at helix sleep dot com. slash that friend go to helix leap dot. com slash. policy genius there's never a bad time. to save money guys. yeah that's right but not more than ever. finding smart ways to put some cash back. in your pocket. can make a big difference yeah that's. right you can simply save on things you. already pay for.

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um it's like watching a movie like you. know kalila will. watch a korean soap opera from season. to the beginning all seasons in a row. right i don't do that either i know but. she does that and i don't really play. like this. during if it wasn't a pandemic but it's. like i don't know how long this is going. to last but when the pandy wasn't. happening you were playing. all night long instead it wasn't you. weren't playing in the middle of the. night. there would be months where i wouldn't. play at all because you were working.

no it depends on what game it is like if. there's a game out. it's not like if i like movies i'm gonna. watch every movie. ever made why not you know. but like i will watch i've like seen. every christopher nolan movie. mm-hmm have you i guess i think i have. i've seen probably almost all the things. that he's made i'll yeah i've seen. every west ham tarantino yeah. but there are some people that i have. like like most movies that come out. i don't watch and that's like like that.

in video games you're saying when you. get hooked on a game you're hooked for a. while. like there's a company called bethesda. they make my favorite games they make. fallout and they make um elder scrolls. skyrim you know. and every time a fallout or a sky or an. elder scrolls comes out i will play it. from beginning to end. because they're the type of games that i. like right. what i'm saying is grand theft auto if a. grand theft a rock star if. grand theft auto came out the new one. obviously i've only only played them.

through one time. but i will play it through one time. because it's cultural. people make references to it and it's. important. it's important to you yeah to everyone. no to you. no you think i can get by without. knowing anything about about. skyrim yeah listen i'll be fine you and. i. just because you can do duos in in in. war zone. just two people okay so you and i. parachuting down parachuting down right.

do you know how much fun. we would have where are you going oh my. god. you're right that would be it the whole. time and no why are you doing that. no but it'd be one of those things where. it's like also. i believe that you're going to be so. good at it. that you're going to be an asset to my. stats. oh i improve your stats you might. and um if i come over to the house can i. do it with you there or no i have to. have my own [ __ ]. you have to have your own [ __ ] but um.

i'm telling you. right now that you're going to be like. we have we play with the same guy named. kung fu nick. and kung fu nick he's a black guy no. he's asian huh kung fu nick. you know he when his wife is sleeping. you can hear him going all right she's. asleep guys i can play a little bit. he only plays for like 45 minutes and he. goes back to sleep. you know that bothers me so why it's. just the idea that a guy is like. sneaking away to play video games is. like why can't. you aren't you an adult is kung fu nick.

a grown-up yeah he owns it he has his. own dojo. oh he owns things he owns his own so who. the [ __ ] is telling him he can't play. video games. his wife that's the craziest [ __ ] i've. ever heard. if my wife ever said i don't want you. playing video i don't play video and my. wife said i don't want you playing golf. i'd be like bye. yeah i you can't tell me that what's the. point of golf it's the same. thing no there's no point to it the. difference is i. like physical activity and getting up. and getting out i don't like being at. home. at it i know but it's still pointless no.

i ca no it's no no it's not possible. first of all putting a little ball into. a hole is pointless you're a nihilist. now now anything's pointless. that's what i how i feel about video. games it's like i'm not saying video. games same exact thing. right out of playing video games as you. do with. golf yeah no don't diminish it it's a. great sport. it's good warzone it's a great video i'm. not i just don't find that it's ever. gonna help me. it will no because my anxiety is so high. i haven't tried it. i can't finish a movie try it i can't.

finish it free. what i'm saying to you it's free yeah. don't you. don't you have to pay to play no it's. completely free so i buy the game. you don't buy it they give it to me for. free yes. why would they do that because they make. money. off of like when you play warzone and. you spend you don't spend any money. you get you get what everyone else gets. right but if i buy special weapons no. there's no special weapons. no but you know you can buy an operator.

because if you if you don't get an. operator. you'll look like just a regular soldier. on the battlefield but. he had that no one has a different. abilities. how much money have you spent on the. game. couple grand. no wonder it's free no because you spent. a couple of my bros. my brother hasn't spent any money zero. that that would be me but when we fly. down right he's just like this regular.

white guy. where i you know you know i mean does he. get to design you can't design your guy. no but you can get get operators and. they're not that expensive they're like. three bucks but i have to get all of. them how did you you spent. over th you spent thousands of dollars. because you bought how many operators. all of them over time. how how long is this dude how long has. the game been out. four or five years oh okay. what do most people spend nothing.

so most people like yesterday we were. playing with raymie and raymond's like i. need a new operator. and i venmo them 40 bucks what is an. operator. it's just whatever your character looks. like when you're down a new avatar. yeah when you're running around yeah. yeah and you spend thousands of dollars. on operators. yeah operator yeah yeah really why not. i don't know i just think it seems yeah. obviously. have you spent thousand dollars on golf. yeah but that's a real thing. no war zone is a real thing no no like.

like a golf club i. physically have to use yeah with when. i'm physically doing this. yeah but you don't have to change your. operator your brother doesn't you don't. have to get great golf equipment you can. just get shitty coffee equipment. you have to pay for it either way your. brother does it for free. yeah i don't want to i know but i don't. my brother. doesn't get operators because he doesn't. have the money to get it so why don't. you give him the money instead of venmo. and the other guy 40. because i already asked him i go do you. want to get a new operator he goes nah. fine bob. i don't want one he wants one he doesn't.

want one because my brother doesn't like. fashion. my brother's never liked fashion so. you're saying it's about fast if i go to. if i go to like. uh vans right and i go i'll buy you i. could go into a vans right now. and go you want a pair of shoes you go. yeah. he doesn't even have to point it out i. can go in there and just. pick one because i know what he likes he. wants. the plane all black vans no it's like. always brown plain.

nothing cool right if you get jeans hey. i'm gonna get some raw den. how much do i spend money on i i spend. me and nick youssef and all these comics. right kevin christie. will go to self edge and go hey so. you know did that double ply um. okinawa raw denim come out yet oh yeah. but we only have two. they're like 600 bucks you spend 600. bucks yeah. per pair yeah see you don't like fashion.

it's not about fashion it's about. getting if you wear anything. but raw denim aside from raw denim. japanese raw denim. don't even lock eyes with me really yeah. you're really pretentious oh yeah about. jeans yes who gives a [ __ ] i do. why because if you're wearing jeans you. know how sometimes they make jeans that. are dirtied up. yeah and they put the lines in it it's. not organic it's factory made it's. corporate it's i don't like it right. you're wearing a shirt that's factory.

made you know what this is. a black sabbath shirt no this is made. worn. look it up look it up. and if i took you there your eyes would. get boggled. it looks fine no i'm just saying i only. wear yeah that's probably. what is that a two 300 shirt hello. you see this jefferson indoor gun range. from new orleans louisiana. free i shot a gun they gave it to me i'm. fine with that that's fine. but that's what you're like my brother. you don't like fashion i like fashion.

and that's why i buy operators. when i [ __ ] play warzone you're cuz i. want to look good you're a little asian. prince. you're right i like fashion you're a. pedophile you're not a [ __ ]. little white peasant you're you're. making up for something you have to have. nice fancy clothes because everything. underneath doesn't work this is the. emperor's new clothes. what's underneath is broken this is the. emperor's new clothes. well the black sabbath 400 shirt and 700.

jeans aren't going to help. it but it makes me feel good why listen. when i grew up. i asked my dad can i get a [ __ ] game. console. no can i get clothes no right. can i eat no right. no it's always like you know on their. terms. and so growing up i was like this is. just retaliation in my early just let me. finish. in my early 20s i went to. i went to thrift stores right.

at first not out of you know because. it's cool. to look retro because that's all i could. really afford right. right but then what i found was. old i got old rock teas before all the. rock tees. were you know we're cool right. so i've always liked these type types of. clothing right but it's like. um you know but then when i started. making money i was just like. you know i would go i want to i remember.

walking up to kevin christie one day and. he can admit this this is what this is. when um. you have heard of apc yes what is it. a pc. it's uh you don't know just say you. don't know a full uh. awful primer correctly apc is like. they they it's a clothing company yeah i. know they do beverly hills and it's i. know where they are okay. and um you know have you heard of golden. goose. no okay so i wear you know the tennis. shoes all the tennis shoes i wear.

they look like 20 30 tennis shoes right. but they cost way too much. 1200 bucks and that's so dumb i'm just. saying look at this. yeah 7.99. look at this montclair okay how much is. your sandal. how much is your flip box hundreds of. dollars yeah. same function yeah eight dollars but it. has the montclair on it. what does that even who cares if it's. montclair they make jackets no you don't. get it so what i'm saying i i. i can't now what i'm sounding in the.

podcast it's like an ass. as an [ __ ] because it cut all this. out no yeah yeah no because this is real. it's not real you really feel that way. you think that that's gonna make up for. whatever annoyance that you have about. anything that's not why would a. montclair sandal. i'll tell you why yeah okay because and. this is the truth. and i like nice [ __ ] by the way that's. the truth you know dean. delray del rey yeah dean darrell went he. called me one day. he goes hey man i'm over at hey. hey man i'm over here yeah yeah yeah i'm. over at um.

oh i go yeah he goes yeah man there's a. montclair jacket here that i can't. afford. i go take a photo of it what is. montclair i didn't know where it was. ah see i know he's like yeah just rich. you know french people were. so he sends me and i get it right the. montclair jacket. and now i'm wearing this camo. vest montclair jacket at the comedy. store. and i know it i've seen it yeah and.

david spade walks up to me. i don't know him at all never talked to. me before. yeah he walks up he sticks his finger on. the montclair. logo he goes what's up man you're doing. good like what do you mean i love that. company. and then we became friends. so you bonded over expensive jackets.

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you're the most likable you're my dog. the most the most. market marketable likable character. that's that's shaggy no that's not. shaggy hey he's scoob yeah. everybody loves shaggy he was a pothead. yeah he was scooby's best friend. unfuckable he was the original original. incel. scooby no shaggy no shaggy wasn't in in. cell. he's he has to hang out with a dog 24 7. his best friend his other friends won't. even hang out with him those friends. suck that almost sucks those guys suck.

the guy where's they have raves in that. van and they're like [ __ ] you shaggy you. just go. hang out with your [ __ ] dog and we're. going to go on an adventure you're right. you know what i was doing with the dog. what. you know what i was doing with the dog. sucking its dick no i'm making you d i'm. making you. i'm making you suck my dick i [ __ ] you. i [ __ ] you scoob you want some scooby. snacks. chomp chomp chomp oh you're getting. tired i [ __ ] you scooby you know it. makes. you know okay yeah you know i'm not i am. an elitist i guess. yeah you're yes in many ways look i like.

fancy stuff too. yeah i just never understood the word. you challenged why. i buy operators in warzone that's where. this is giving. you no i didn't challenge it i said why. did i give you an insight well the. bottom line is you like. you're you think you think it's. important to look good. to wear nice [ __ ] yeah it's. you know and generally it doesn't really. matter i get it in at the end of the. things especially. this is going to get a lot of backlash. because i know why people aren't doing. well in the pandemic. i don't spend that much money right now.

but you know i have in my life. i have in my life i spend money on. stupid stuff too like what. my car is very expensive yeah that's. right yeah you drive a piece of [ __ ] and. i drive a nice car. yes but but that's a thing i use all the. time i think clothes to me are like i. take this off i get naked at the end of. the day at my house. these things mean they just i only wear. clothes because i we have to. because legally the law says i can't. walk around otherwise. i would put on just swim trunks and walk. around like that all day yeah i don't.

ever want jeans or shirts or. i don't like it i live in california so. i don't have to have lots of clothes. when i lived in la jolla i knew this kid. named tom. his dad was a. multi-multi-multi-millionaire. i was broke and um his dad also was like. hipster-like he looked cool his dad yeah. like effortlessly cool. and he drove up to this his dad one time. drove up to this. coffee shop he used to work at um in. a clunker like the window was blasted.

out. you know the hubcaps weren't there and. he walked out of there just looking like. a degenerate. right and i thought to myself. yes so that's why i always have a. clunker the car. it's always beat up there's always a. window missing right yeah i don't give a. [ __ ] about cars. yeah but that's what i'm saying you care. about fashion you're that's why you need. operators. yeah but i don't you know but when i you. look at me it's not because it's not i. i look i like the the. heroin chic look yeah you look like.

homeless plus. yeah yeah i like when it's like huh. but look i'm jealous of the fact i've. talked about this but. i can't that's a cool shirt i [ __ ]. love black sabbath. whether or not you even like the band is. a debatable thing do you like black. sabbath i love black sex okay. but people wear those shirts a lot and i. resent it because they wear. like the kardashians will wear a [ __ ]. a metal shirt like a pantera shirt i. know they don't like pantera yeah. okay that's my problem with the culture.

that took over wearing cool [ __ ]. all right dude listen so because of it. i'd rather wear a jefferson indoor gun. range. new orleans louisiana i'd rather wear. this yeah because it's fun. okay when i'm at maid of warning made. war. made worn made worn yeah oh it's called. made. worn made worn is it a replica or it's. an actual. vintage shirt it's the guy that does. like all of christopher nolan's like. clothing and stuff with his movies. especially the history pieces this guy. is um.

he's friends with dean but he owns a. factory not a factory. on fairfax and he sells these shirts. what. he does is he collected rock t-shirts. all his life. and um he created a company called. years ago called junk food which was a. clothing brand. and he made rock teas there as well but. they were factory made. in asia and stuff like that they didn't. look so he decided he sold that company. and decided to. make a real vintage clothing company but.

he took. he takes this is a brand new shirt. no one's ever it's never worn never worn. so it should be called made never worn. and he has a crew of people dipping in. oil. putting it on the sun you know i mean. stretching it so you pay for the fur to. be worn. yeah and um so when i go. there it's like um i don't pick out. shirts. like he'll go look at look at this one. you go i go i don't know that band so i. don't like them. so i won't can't wear it right right so.

it's like if it's a class shirt or. i love the clash or the sex pistols or. whatever it might be i'll get that. you know so they spent they have little. people. ruining the shirts so you can not. dwarves not like that [ __ ]. i thought you said they had lps there. leprechauns i thought you said they had. little peas. no so he employs only lp's no no no no. no so a bunch of lps they'll wear out. the shirts. and they run down to the river and they. wash it but also if you go. there right if i brought you there.

you'd be like oh cool not just cool. his that factory that he has in that on. fairfax. is like a [ __ ] museum well then let's. go. it's ask anyone that's ever been i i. don't. you know because of your attitude. because i have to call and make an. appointment. because of your [ __ ] attitude they. may not. uh right now or in general right now oh. okay yeah in general could i is that. okay. in general yes but right now the frame. that i'm in right now i don't deserve no. you don't deserve.

anything oh really you're a game. combative and nasty. i'm being um first of all i'm not being. combative nasty just play warzone. [Music]. fight stop being a [ __ ] [ __ ] and a. [ __ ] okay. you're not a man of your word here's the. deal yeah i am if it's something i care. about. no no i'm asking you. as a friend to play one time okay so. then i have here's the problem i have to. go buy a system. i think you said that you had an xbox i. have an xbox you said please cross. platform i want to play it on the one.

i'm supposed to play it on no no no. half the people i play with play it on. other. i said some people play it on the. computer it's cross platform. all right so the game's free i'm gonna. go you have the [ __ ] i download it. yes i need to go get my headset well. yeah make sure you have a mic to it. i need to get my headset with a mic yeah. and i log in i create a player. then i have to spend hours learning the. the triggers and the buttons that's not. it's literally so self-explanatory.

there's so many buttons on the xbox. thing now. oh my god listen it's i don't know right. trigger left trigger. top top. all right so let's say this is the let's. see this is the control. i have it right in your. little mind just make an assumption what. would be. shoot uh right trigger exactly. yeah what about the top and right. buttons what about the buttons.

throw grenades both of them make you. throw grenades it depends on what your. um. this is where it gets dumb dude. i just i don't i don't have the capacity. to yeah you do to care yeah it's more of. it's more of it's hard for me to like. invest. i used to play you know what i used to. play yeah what tiger woods golf. i loved it simple i'm a simple man. i'm going to be playing in tiger woods. could you. you go on a tournament you play tiger.

woods yeah you hit the ball. and then and then you [ __ ] about 12. other women yeah no way. tiger goes to waffle house after his. round right if you win a round you're. allowed to leave go to waffle house. and you [ __ ] darla in an afford galaxy. uh look i've never [ __ ] a black woman. by the way yes he has. tiger woods you think during all that. escapades he didn't have sex with a. black girl you're insane. give me one huh maybe one geneva johnson. oh. geneva jennifer johnson charlotte north. carolina. 4 30 in the morning outside of an ihop.

my bad but um. look look look i'm going to play i. promise why not no look at me i don't. want you to. i oh you don't know what. [Music]. what i am is. what's kikimore i mean you don't know. who kikomori is obviously i just asked. you i don't know what it means. i know you don't but do you know what it. is. [Laughter]. yes akikomore is a guess what it is i. know what it is what.

uh kikimori in japan are these little. tiny they're almost a muskrat. size and they no seriously they're. little tiny muskrat. uh rodent creatures and they've got um. bulbous bellies and cute little noses. and beautiful little eyes. yeah and they roam around uh northern. japan you're describing japanese people. oh right yeah they roll around no you're. a kiko mori is um is a servant of a. korean. um uh fighting instructor a martial arts. instructor. it's a servant and he no yeah isn't that.

a kick of more i'll just tell you what. it is. kikomori is the guy it's the guy who. hand makes. um you know the guy you know. [Laughter]. he hand cuts out uh dim sum. is a japanese shut-in i was so close. i was gonna get that one you're getting. that so it's a it's a it's a recluse. there are kids in middle class homes.

even um. upper class kids who have never left. their room. you're a kikamore i could have been i. think i think i'm hikimori. they never left their room and so that. basically what happens is they go. okay that's just them yeah you know what. i mean i hear mine yeah. they always say okay yeah they just set. up the at their own because they have to. go. okay and then the next thought comes. right okay here we go. they always say here we go here we go. okay here we go my friend. um and then my friend why do uh why do.

people always say my friend. from from different lands my friend. because it's a no matter where you go. my friend my friend my friend my friend. one yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah. yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah. yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah. yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah. yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah. yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah. yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah. yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah. yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah. yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah. yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah. yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah. yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah. yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah. yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah for while. you're riding my friend yeah because. they want you to. think that they like you or they go mr. meester. eastern yeah whenever i was when i would. go to mexico mexico and the kids would. sell chickens yeah they got me. they're. you know what i would do i'd steal the. chiclets yeah i put them all in my mouth. yeah.

let's spit them at the kid yeah yeah. or i i wasn't til was shopping at. tijuana once shopping. yeah and there was a man with no arms. and low legs. and he was just sitting there like on. the side well don't do that with your. arms because you didn't have any. i know but this is people with no arms. yeah. they have invisible ones they're fake. they wish they yeah yeah. so he was actually doing this right. right yeah and he was like. you have money mr right so i didn't know.

where to put it he didn't have a cup. he stuck it right in his mouth. you have to put it somewhere yeah where. do you put it between the eyelid i mean. you got. to put it right on his head yeah right. no he had it i just stuck around his. mouth he's like he's there yeah. yeah yeah i want to ask i want to talk. to you about something for real. oh no i want to tell you about kikimori. real quick oh yeah tell me okay. come back i have something to ask you. because i'm so interested in what you. think but i'm like finally we go back to. kiko let's start with kikamore so there.

so i what was it okay okay. remember yeah that's what he's thinking. okay so let's go these kids go. okay so i don't want to talk to nobody. i don't want to work i don't want. nothing. right so they basically just sit. in their [ __ ] rooms and their parents. put food. you know sometimes in a little slot. through a slot. because they don't want to see anybody. they see them but they take it and.

they're always on computer like one kid. made a lot of money on like the stock. market. uh-huh but he just never left the house. so he just gives his parents money and. he just says give me whatever i need and. leave me alone. right but then most parents they just. enable it. and these kids stay in they're never. living never seeing the light of day. yeah so there's a big academic uh. epidemic. so it's and it's kids they're playing. video games that's it's amazing. again but some of these they ring like. manga and and.

you know watch anime are you a kikamore. yeah she could have be what does. kikamura directly translate to. shut in shut in kikamura sounds so much. nicer than shut in. i know it sounds like it's more noble i. i came up with the movie idea a long. time ago. about like me as a shut-in. or like i l i grew up here though in la. in l.a. my dad dies so my mom just tells all my. friends that i moved back to korea. oh and then like 25 years later. you remember she she's sick now.

right uh-huh and she calls all my. friends but now. all my friends are like adults with. families and stuff and they go. uh he didn't go back. and they're like what yeah he'd be here. the whole time he lives in garden grove. so it's all my friends coming back. to comedy yeah right and trying to get. me to live. life again as a grown up but now but now. i'm like i don't know how to. really speak i haven't talked to anybody. right in 20 years this is like a.

autobiographical thing for you this is. almost a little bit. this is like your life a little bit no. man i'm a. go-getter mm-hmm ask me the question. that was rude ask me the question i. didn't mean it you are shut in with. video games though. are you gonna play today though i'm. gonna i promise do you know what a. conservative. conservatorship is conservatorship. conservatorship no britney spears is. under a conservatorship do you know what. this is. when she had her public meltdown there's.

like a hashtag going around called free. brittany. people think she's like being held. against her will. ever since she got publicly you know she. shaved her head and freaked out her. you can put someone in a conservative. ship which means like you have a. guardian taking care of you to make sure. you're not. losing it going off the deep end and. hurting yourself or others right. so her dad is her conservatorship. overseer. and a lawyer and they get salaries and. she's only allowed an allowance. this is a 38 year old woman or whatever.

she is. so i go on our instagram because i'm. seeing all these conspiracy theories. online. and i'm like let's check this out this. is this real is just [ __ ]. but here's what's wild listen how she is. this is what's great two things. one how old do you think she was when. him baby hit me one more time came out. 16. 16. was she 16. she was 16 in that. video with like a school girl outfit. dancing all sexy and [ __ ] yeah i've seen. that video many times so they trap.

so they trapped it was on mtv i was on. mtv the whole time and i loved it yeah. yeah yeah i didn't like it. i loved mtv no i didn't like the video. yeah you did you love the song. you love getting it did you like the. song love the song. my loneliness is killing me. yeah so i love that yeah so she she was. trapped in this child. world of being exploited and now. she speaks like a child listen how crazy. this is this is not real. this is all real this is her that's her. instagram i want to show you this is her.

instagram i saw the dancing one of the. dancing you saw this one the one where. she dances yeah i'm not mocking her by. the way because i think this is mental. illness like. and i mean that because [ __ ] the. house though what kanye's going through. is the same thing he's having a public. meltdown. right yeah but like i'm not mocking or. dancing but this feels okay here this. feels strange. feels strange it's beautiful i literally. almost cried. what it's i think it's great it just. feels something feels awesome. something feels off it's the opposite of. freedom do you this feels not free. if you something feels off to me what do.

you mean i feel like. another one i don't know this feels okay. here you go answering question questions. and by the way she won't answer all the. fans are like what's up with the. conservatorship like people are worried. about you hashtag free britney. and she won't answer any but like listen. also listen how child she sounds like a. baby. listen to this her baby voice. hi guys so a lot of you have been asking. me more questions in the comments and. i'm here to answer all of your questions. so the first main question that you guys. have been asking me is what's my. favorite disney. movie my favorite disney movie is.

probably frozen just because i really. like the fact that the two sisters. um their relationship and then one goes. off and lives in a castle just because. she can't deal anymore. um my favorite movie movie is probably a. ferris bueller's day off. um what time do i go to sleep i go to. sleep between 11 30 and 12. it's it's like a babe it's like a child. ah. it's it's the same thing it's just it. feels like. what happened to michael j fox. no he got it that was a shake michael.

jackson michael jackson oh. [Laughter]. michael j fox you know yeah yeah but no. um. it feels like this this is the honest. truth yeah. is i feel like when you're developing. yes in your child development years yes. especially. you know in your teens early teens. you they're just i feel like those two. was they were just exposed with fame. exploited exploited they were fortunate.

yeah. they can't um that's where you learn. you know who you are development you. know. yes in your mind this so they were. trapped they were trapped. and that's why michael talked like a kid. and he would play with kids and like. they just don't know how to function. but this is so this is another one this. is a let me show you just this one more. the way she says stuff is just. okay so a lot of my fans have been. asking me a lot of questions during my.

comments. i listened and so now i'm gonna answer. all of your questions. the first question that you mainly asked. me is what my favorite song is. my favorite song is toxic that i have. done and i have no idea what my favorite. song. stop for a second stop for a second i. can't see the way she's shaking back and. forth. yes she's on medication my favorite. place to visit is hawaii and turks and. caicos. turks and caicos is a little bit more. jungly and more. um tropical um there's not that many. people. there it's a small island and it. basically has the cleanest.

food the most beautiful ocean the spot. is amazing hold on here we go my. favorite place to visit yes. okay what's my favorite food is a chili. hot dog. and then um if i had three wishes what. would they be. for love happiness and a world supply of. designer clothes. that's it love my three wishes love. happiness and a world supply of designer. clothes. yeah that like this is strange. mine's love yeah happiness yeah and.

warzone so i mean if you you know i mean. if you. you were and japanese raw denim you were. also an abused. young yeah trapped exploited person yeah. i just feel something's wrong it feels. strange. it feels like like this even this photo. that's like a scary f. that looks scary yeah it looks like i'm. like i'm ever i'm not okay. but just imagine being here yeah. right at 16 being like the most famous. thing on earth because i remember in.

in one of the michael jackson. documentary where he was just kind of. like. can i meet her like he wanted to meet. her. yeah and do so that's how big she was. yeah when michael jackson. wants to meet you either you're a boy. that's it or you're a boy or yeah he. thinks he can make you look like a boy. or you know you're super like famous do. you think i can make your girl turn into. a boy. [Laughter]. yeah yeah so and she was that big.

she was massive massive where but then. when she had a breakdown. she she she publicly had a meltdown and. they put her under this conservatorship. and they say it's not a big deal usa. today did an article new york times did. an article i mean this is very this is. like. a a known thing her family is like this. is being exploded out of proportion this. isn't true. but you look at a lot of this stuff it. looks like it's a cro it's like a weird. lonely. it's strange it's like amanda bynes. right that was mental health too.

right this like the kanye thing did you. watch kanye with dave chappelle on the. ranch. no what it's the saddest it's the. weirdest. did you know did you know about this no. chappelle went to go see kanye to go. like just. see how he's doing because kanye had. that do you see all the presidential. he did like yeah but did you see like he. did like a speech and was like i almost. killed my daughter and he was bawling. and. no i'm sorry you gotta watch all this. stuff but dave goes to his ranch. [Laughter]. trump's senior advisor he's.

but he dave goes out there to like check. in on him flies flies in. and they're standing in front of the. video and they're just like he's like. dave say something funny and dave's like. what what do you mean he's like do. something funny we all need. we need happiness right now yeah and it. just i know anything i don't know i know. this i was in the desert so. i know it just it's a it's an. unfortunately weird video and it's like. it's on his twitter it's really weird. man. here we go all right dave can you please.

just make a smile the world needs some. you know we need some. some joy yeah we need a smile. brotherhood is real love is real. wait a second i still not smiling bro i. was. we need some kind of some joke something. like just something to like lift our. spirits. oh [ __ ] [ __ ] i don't know. i'm still on my first cup of coffee.

[ __ ] all right let me take a good joke. he's losing his mind. hey what's up what is this what is going. on like bringing a new guy. is it arsenio. [Laughter]. it's not even a photo.

uplifting joke you know i don't right. now. okay that's a laugh. and they walk away and he literally goes. all right man peace like he gets on a. plane and he leaves again. yeah it was like a photo op i mean like. yeah. to kanye dave was going there to. probably genuinely check on and be like. bro are you okay. yeah i'm wondering about kanye is does i.

mean i don't know the dynamics between. kim and kanye but you know it's obvious. to me that he has. you know mental health mental health. health issues yeah he needs to be on. medication. i don't know what his diagnosis is is it. bipolarism. i think he said he was bipolar bipolar. he gets his manic episodes yeah yeah. right. yeah so um i'm wondering i mean if let's. say. kalila had these mental you know. yeah i would and we were that rich right. what would you do. i would hire somebody just just that.

you're. the pill guy you're the guy yeah that's. what a conservatorship is that which. britney spears. maybe yeah yeah yeah i go tito. frank margot it will be a woman margot. yeah. yeah margot you're she takes the pills. in the morning yep at night and if she. doesn't you have to see it go down her. [ __ ] throat. yeah and if she doesn't eat that [ __ ]. you're fired.

and margo's gonna be like all right yeah. and that's her job. and i'll pay her 200 000 a year just to. be the pill girl i don't give a [ __ ]. that's. that's how important it is yeah if. kalila was in the public eye. right and i'm in the public eye. and it's our job to have a certain. presence an image yeah right because. kanye. starts going into these mania and that's. when he goes to trump. where's the make america you know well.

it's attention seeking. it's he goes and then he goes when he. went into a [ __ ] remember he went to. an. iphone uh mac store yeah. walk on stood on one of those tables i. know if i stood on a table at a mac. store. security right imagine well everyone. would pull out their phone and go what. is bobby lee gonna do. right if they wouldn't know they're like. what's this fat asian guy they don't. know bobby lee. yeah they do yeah they don't know bobby. lee yes they don't. they don't yes they do you walk in the.

apple store they go bobby lee. i have two dudes i'll have two dudes and. okay if i go to mac store. two two asian nerds going oh big tiger. belly fans and they just hide in the. corner no. i've had this yeah hey man. you should have had more than one line. in the wrong missy because it's true. that's the kind of recognition i get. that that's real fans. no that's real things that's not real. fantastic that's real fans. but um so like i would have. a [ __ ] if i was kim i would have just. a pill guy.

yeah but this is an issue this is an. issue that's greater than we could ever. imagine why because it goes deep like. this is a deep weird cut. kanye is kanye is. more famous than famous he's he is. he he is a name that's synonymous with. our industry not just. music anymore so he's a shoe mogul he's. like. people that know nothing about him know. him he's. baton there's layers of that i know. there's so much to unpack it's hard and. this is gonna be a very difficult thing.

to say but um. and people are gonna maybe argue with me. but. time will tell like for instance there. was a time when. britney spears was kanye. in terms of that kind of fame no. britney spears was super famous not like. kanye. kanye and especially because now kanye. married the most famous family. in hollywood right you're right so there. now he's the roof right. okay but i would have to argue that. britney was up there she was she would.

go to nigeria. and just go into a village and go do you. know who britney spears is. like we have her shirts yeah they would. have been there right so. i don't know now we're talking you know. so who's fame who's my family i don't. know 15 years from now. yeah there might be a time a moment in. life. where most people don't know who he is. yeah. time will tell i don't i don't think i i. don't think so i think he's i think he's. going to last for a long time i just i'm. afraid that. this is the kind of stuff that hollywood. does and they don't give a [ __ ] about it.

they did this to this guy the system. this weird game. also i think marrying into that family. is the most toxic [ __ ] on earth. i think being a part of that family is. what ruined him 100. 100 what a crazy backwards family of. people that are billionaires. for being popular. well let's i want to i've never really. said this but. what is their talent the kardashians.

i'll tell you is captivating america. with looks and presence they're able to. sell uh themselves as a whole i. i am the look that you want i do the. things that you want to do. they're images that's a talent they sell. images okay. it's i i'll obviously it is talented. because it worked because there's a. there was it's not a talent like your. stand-up comic. i'm not saying i'm not i'm not it has.

something to do with me i'm just asking. a question yeah no no. because i you know one day this is what. happens. you wake up i remember one time this is. a long time ago maybe 15 years ago. yeah where i was i went to this a. meeting. that's in um cedar which is you know in. that hospital. yeah and but next to it it's like rodeo. and all that stuff right. and i was getting when you go to cedar. sinai the hospital. this this amy is on a sunday if you walk. two blocks.

on robertson there's a [ __ ] starbucks. there i know it so i would go to that. starbucks. and one time i would i saw. these three girls walking down and then. paparazzi taking photos. and then i remember going to another a. guy going what the [ __ ] who are they. oh those are the kardashians you don't. know them i never at that time i'd never. heard of them. yeah and then over the years you just. kind of go you hear the name. and then you see the billboards yeah and. you turn on the tv. and it and they're the center of the.

universe almost yeah. and but still the whole time you're. asking what do they do. what how do i see their talent. it's not it's not for me for me to. become a fan. it's not a tangible talent it's not like. something so weird i know look i i spent. time hating it years ago. being like ugh gross and now i just go. no. that's no it's a talent they're selling. something that people are buying so. who's to blame. so sure if i had that i would do it i. just don't have it. if you could just sell being bobby as a.

look and be a billionaire if i could. just stand. like on you know rodeo drive. bobby over here bobby over here bobby. bobby right here. and then they sell like i'll do some. hand thing like this right. and they'll sell like photos and then. maybe moldings of the hand. yeah and this is a thing if you if. anybody on earth could sell themselves. just as who they are yeah uh i guess. that is make a billion dollars doing. or is it luck no there's.

the mother is the great puppeteer she's. the master manipulator he's the one. she's the wizard she's the wizard she's. she's behind the curtain wizard. yeah yeah i'll sell my daughters to. playboy i mean that was the whole thing. is they sold her sex tape and then she. got famous after the sex tape and then. the sisters got famous because they. transformed on camera into like these. these uh uh then they then they were the. ones that started doing the butt. implants and all that that became like a. thing because they were part of this. it's crazy yeah yeah it's just um.

because there's no way to like. there is no what sucks about that you. know yeah. it's there's no like there's no road to. that. like for instance it's an accident if. you want to become like you know you can. be a kid and go. i want to be in a cool [ __ ] band yeah. so then you just. you're in your garage playing riff and. getting your car all night practicing. all night long right and you get other. people to do it. and you experiment with sounds right and. you just. hard work you're on tour you know and. that's a path right as a stand-up.

we have a path as an actor there's. always a path but with them. it's like i want to be known. yeah and how do you and you just stand. well now kids want to be social. influencers that's what it is. oh i just found out about that social. influence you're an influence. ago i didn't really know what an. influencer was well you're an influencer. you know what you're really you know. today i've been trying no you're an. influencer i've been trying with you. dude but you're really trying to [ __ ]. get at me i'm saying. people like what you do so that so.

that's i'm not an influencer you're an. influencer. influencing people to do what nothing. yep i influence people to do nothing. no you influence people love your. hairstyle that there's a bunch of kids. online that are doing your hairstyle now. what are you on your mind there's a ton. of kids there's little korean kids. they're doing your hair. oh it's they're probably your influencer. there maybe your kids are too [ __ ]. going to cats and like taking off cat. hair and just putting on their eyebrows. right that's what they're doing get. gluing into their eyebrows and they're.

looking in the mirror and you have a. tangible putting [ __ ]. real weird freckles little poop marks. yeah poop marks right. and then also doing this like how do i. become like that. i want to be angry like him i ate me and. [ __ ] you you know man they're doing that. you're influenced people as well look. you have a tangible talent no i don't. yeah you do all right fine extremely. funny it's hard for. it's hard for people to understand what. their talent is and that's fine people. don't like them. my point is it's pretty brilliant that. it worked okay pretty brilliant that it. worked.

i i get what you're saying here's all. right so let's just get into it. all right you know when i because i. sometimes ask myself. um like what is my talent. and you're a [ __ ] kid no but listen. when i'm doing this like right now. right what i have to remind myself is. just just be yourself. just it doesn't matter because you know. you can't in podcasting. i know people listen to some people. listen to my [ __ ] and they go. yeah he doesn't really know much or you.

know he says words wrong but that's just. me just saying. [ __ ] it i just i don't care no filter no. say words wrong. yeah i don't know how to pronounce. certain words but i guess their. the kardashians are just being. themselves. or what they want to or what they may be. that's no i think that that's. essentially who they are maybe. you know their father was a huge lawyer. mm-hmm so they come from money and he. and he rep. probably the oj yeah right. right didn't he rap okay amongst many.

other cases yeah. yeah many other huge and the oj thing. crazy he was crazy yeah he never did. anything anything wrong he's just a nice. sweet dude. he played football what he is that is he. in prison for a heisman trophy. that's probably what they got him for. being too good. yeah he didn't do it do you think oj. killed his wife rude. i don't know about that i know wait wait. she doesn't know who oj. i know get closer to the mic. do you know who oj simpson is no.

wow wow you never heard of o.j simpson. at all can i see his face. no no no you can't see his face no. that's going to then you're just going. to take it. let me ask you this just by based on the. name you think he's. a white guy black oh wow why is that why. is that. i don't know so oj oj. what do you think oj stands for i don't. know. orange juice no do you know what oj. stands for. aren't all james james yeah aren't all.

james now if i told you aren't all james. simpson was. does that sound like a black guy or. white guy white guy yeah. what do you think he did. you just said that he killed his wife no. he did not not. kill his wife it's hearsay and it's. [ __ ]. all right let's how about all right. you're 18. you're 18. so. 911. yeah i know but you know but you. you weren't here. that's crazy let me let me ask you about. this um you knew who rodney king is.

no no that was the night wow it doesn't. matter it's like i know who rosa parks. is. i don't that happened who's rosa park is. that our landlord no. that's not the old puerto rican woman. that's right you know the triangle the. musical. oh the triangle the triangle yeah she. invented that. nice no so um so no you don't know who. that is so. what else is another big thing well i'm. trying to think of something like. obviously. obviously oliver north no that's. probably you know who martin luther king. was. yeah i mean there's names that she'll. obviously just recognize historical. names that are.

where were you when jfk got shot. do you know who jfk was yeah but i was. on my dad. i was in my dad's testicles testicles. yeah yeah. i know a female comic yeah so she was. playing at a club the san jose improv. love i love that room great room and. when she showed up at the club. very popular comic she goes where's the. gum. like she has a writer yeah she has a.

list of 10 things. that if that's not in the room she's. going to lose her mind. she goes where is the japanese gum. they go the club goes the japanese gum. you asked for they don't. sell it in san jose and we had to we. we didn't have time to go to san. francisco to get it she's like well i'm. not doing the show. really sort of got because you needed. the gum to do your comedy bit. that's not me no i'm saying that out i. know but i'm just telling you this i. don't know and i'm just saying it to the.

universe. right and so they go please do the show. it's so loud. in my writer it says i need the gum yeah. right and my writer says i'm an [ __ ]. no yeah i'm an [ __ ] no. you're not getting the point of it no. the point is you do stand-up comedy. and you don't need gum to do it you. [ __ ] brag. [ __ ] brat all right go ahead so they. go okay. if you do the show tonight right mm-hmm. we. if you do the show tonight we'll get. we'll get the go so the next she does a. show.

they had this [ __ ] guy kid drive to. san francisco drive to san francisco and. it's one of the rarest japanese gum. you could ever find he went to like 30. different places. and he finally he finally found it sure. it was a six-pack it was the last one. they had. he rested it took him eight hours to run. back she sticks it in the. green room monday when they cleaning out. the green room she didn't even touch it. yeah that's so [ __ ] rude and. disrespectful to the guy that had to go. get it. the moral of the story is get the gum.

get the gum [ __ ] that yeah that's the. gum. that's the moral yeah let me tell you. let me and when i in fact when i went. there. a month afterwards i went to the green. room because my rider. has zero on it nothing no good. all i need i don't even need a green. room i need. a bottle of water and just have like the. mic working. yeah right we're comedians yeah so. that's what my writer is. so the manner was like oh man last month. tells me the story and i looked him.

right in the eye and i said. you she got the gum huh she got the gum. i go no when before she got there you. should got the gun before. she got there huh he's like yeah i go. yeah. no yeah i disagree wholeheartedly fine. if what you're asking for if what you're. asking for. has nothing to do with your performance. yeah that idea of babying people has to. go away. no but my point wasn't just that i think. what she did was ludicrous.

yes and insane yeah but. their reaction right could have been. different. no they could have been laughed laughed. it off that's just the way it is. what they should have said was it's just. the way we're not gonna go get you your. gum some things will never change. because you don't deserve it it's just. the way it's cause you're not even that. good of a comedian something's what. that's what sells more tickets than i do. doesn't matter she sells more tickets. than i do. so that's you know how about this how.

about this. if i was a club manager okay you're. you're the person. okay ask me about the gum you coming hey. how was everything are you ready for the. big show tonight and we're excited that. you're here. oh i'm playing her yeah um. i'm not really that excited because oh. my god is something wrong what happened. yeah yeah i. have a writer yes and we got we got. everything that you had on your rider. there is the uh ph balance bottle of. water that you asked for. uh over there is uh laffy taffy's we.

know you love laffy taffies and we only. got your banana cause you're a big. banana girl. well they're banana girl yeah it's funny. and also we got you down we left that. off you left that off but. what on the writer it does say banana so. that's why you got it. yeah we know you're a banana no it's not. you know that i am it's just it's on the. [ __ ] right right on youtube [ __ ]. okay we know if you want a job uh-huh. and i. lose the attitude oh there is no. attitude because i make sure we also got. you tonight. no i'm talking stop don't talk to me. like a child.

really i'll call robert hartman and you. will be fired. call him see that you wouldn't be a good. manager no. i think he wouldn't be a good man no. because i don't couch that this is what. she would do. okay so here we keep going you have so. we got you everything that was on your. right except for where's the japanese. gum. what japanese gum was there japanese gum. on the right look at the writer okay let. me look real quick. we got that it's the tenth thing it's a. ten thing it's the ten things yeah. dang we must not have got it can we get. you other kinds of gum there no i'm not. doing the show cause i want the gum. oh wow you you won't do the show just.

because of the yeah and guess what. i'll play all the other impromps there. are no consequences. right because i make you guys so [ __ ]. much money. and this attitude is what needs to. change no no i wouldn't let's because. not only let's get into the scene. not on the scene stay in the scene okay. stay in the scene i think you're super. disrespectful. yeah i think that's really how about. this as disrespectful. i could call all the powers of b. judy brown all the people i can right. who have anything to do with levity live.

or the improv. and you'll not work here again let me. let me okay. and that's fine. a nice person i um only asked for time. not a nice person because we didn't get. you gum and now you're throwing a fit. about not going on stage because you're. a [ __ ] baby now act like a [ __ ]. adult. now act like a [ __ ] adult and go do. your goddamn [ __ ] comedy bit. that isn't that [ __ ] funny because. you'll burn out in [ __ ] 10 years. your dog [ __ ] as a comic i've seen 30. 000 of you pieces of [ __ ] come and go. this thing doesn't last you mean nothing.

go do your jokes [ __ ] or go back to l.a. [ __ ] off that's what i would do wow. that really got to you no but that's the. kind of that's what needs that's what. people like that need to hear. you're not important [ __ ] you mean. nothing you will go away. your comedy thing that you think is so. important is fleeting [ __ ]. you're a fleeting thing they all quit. they all die. you go away your little [ __ ] gum that. has nothing to do with your bad act. is worthless and meaningless like you so.

shut the [ __ ] up. go do your jokes take your money and go. back to your [ __ ] house. and [ __ ] off that's what i would say wow. and if a comedy club and if a comedy i. gotcha and if comedy club had that kind. of owner and manager i would respect the. [ __ ] out of them. because anyone close in two weeks no no. it wouldn't because top. top owners they know how to treat talent. well without being disrespected. wendy at comedy works would never put up. with you treating her staff like [ __ ]. never if you [ __ ] with her she'd go. [ __ ] you're out.

you'll never come back you treat someone. in their staff like [ __ ]. bye [ __ ] you don't come back to my club. because every other comic will who does. treat people well. will keep coming back and we'll do fine. without you this little girl that you're. talking about who means nothing in the. grand scheme of things. there's thousands of other better comics. bye you don't come back to my club. bye i love it i got to you didn't i yeah. i didn't i get you i got you there. that's how i feel i know that's how i. feel.

that's all i wanted to do with gets that. story is to get you there. i don't like people that do [ __ ] like. that i know i do [ __ ] arenas with joe. rogan i've never. ever once seen him complain about what's. in the [ __ ] green room. never guess what when we show up he's. had the same rider for 20 [ __ ] years. he doesn't even care what's in there. they'll go joe we got you the um. this the deli meat and the um sam adams. can i get you guys anything else and. he'll go no man we're good. we usually don't even [ __ ] touch the.

[ __ ] in the it usually gets untouched. unless someone comes in. after the show and goes hey can i grab a. red bull or can i have a. whatever and he goes yeah yeah whatever. it doesn't it doesn't matter. it doesn't matter i did a show real. common. i did a show once it was a theater show. and i can't tell you who was. involved but they wouldn't let me in the. green room there was too many people. the the headliner wouldn't know it was. six it was one of those shows there was. six comics and stuff. oh right and it was just so many people. and i just.

hung out just outside in this alleyway. on a stool smoking a cigarette. they wouldn't let you in because no they. did they would but it was so many people. it was so congested. and i remember they're coming out going. somebody worked that working for the. theater goes can i find you another. i'm fine back here but you want to go. but didn't it bother you no. that didn't hurt that didn't bother you. to know that like you couldn't be there. be there with your peers. that's disrespectful bro i have a story. that i i can't say it. i know but i can't i don't want to get. this person in trouble.

say it this is going to drive you crazy. maybe. yeah well i want to hear it there's a. kid that opened for me. and he goes um and they're doing a. documentary about his life. yeah so i was playing the ontario. improv and gosh that burp. yeah comes through clear it's nice pull. up. so um he comes with ontario improv and. he goes. he brings in a crew of five or six.

people. what do you mean friends no they're. shooting a documentary on bottom oh okay. so he's sitting in the green room and. then they all order. from the restaurant so they're all. eating in there yeah the server comes. and they go can you get you guys. anything and they're not drinking drinks. they're shooting sure and i walked in. there i was just like hey what's up man. he's uh just shooting man okay. can you hey and then he goes hey man. we're shooting can you close the door. and he's opening for you.

yeah there you go okay and i closed the. door. and i just sat in the hallway in the. back. it's your green room i know why wouldn't. you say you guys just can't shoot in. here did they ask you or talk to you. then i remember. at the end of the night the manager was. like dude they spent like. eighteen hundred dollars worth of. [ __ ] food and drinks. i could just take it out of my thing you. paid for that yeah. bob yeah that's not okay well he was. dying. but he's not dead is he no so you should.

send him a. i bill that's that is not okay. i know but he was dying apparently from. what i heard. that's why i did it he's dying yeah but. that but. but people need to know that that. stuff's not okay and i want to go to him. now and go hey man i thought you were. supposed to be dead. you know he's like nah he has it you. were supposed to die you're supposed to. [ __ ] die man. if you don't die yeah.

just the people's you know god you got. me with that story. you got me i did it just gets me amped. up about people who have attitudes in. this business for no reason oh well you. know what's worse. is eddie griffin's thing you know his. no eddie griffin has a thing as every. show. you need to give me number size 11. nike shoes brand new before. every show why that's isn't his writer. they buy him shoes yeah but then what.

happened was. when he this is when he was at his. height and over the years he would do. the road and people would get from. and then one day some club owner said. nah. yeah that's correct we're not doing that. yeah because the shoes don't have. anything to do with anything he's like. yeah man but it's am i right. they're like hey you're not drawing yeah. you know. you didn't sell out the room yeah so and. also it's ridiculous. so apparently now he gets only one pair. for the whole weekend.

that's so stupid i know but why see that. the nerve of people that think they can. ask for it and the problem is. if he did something great if behind the. scenes we found out he gave those shoes. away to people in need. i would [ __ ] love it right but that's. not the case yeah. he just wants the to take advantage of. it the system steve mcqueen. uh he would ask are you sleeping no i'm. not this is that sorry. i'm so tired dude go ahead be right i. swear i'm. steve mcqueen would ask for the.

wardrobes in every movie he ever did. okay people would say well why do you. want all the clothes and they used to. make fun of him because he would take. men's clothes women's clothes. and they're like why what's his deal. like that's weird they would. label it as strange steve mcqueen was an. orphan and literally those people know. steve mcqueen would take all those. clothes that he would end up getting. from wardrobe if they said yes. and he would go to orphanages and donate. the clothes to make sure those kids had. new clothes. more particularly hollywood clothes from. a guy really. so he's an adult yeah.

and he he wears he's a lawyer in a movie. he's not just. he wears a [ __ ] lawyer suit on. a lawyer goes to the [ __ ] orphanage. to go here's a full-grown. men's [ __ ] business suit steve. mcqueen was five two a hundred pounds. yeah he was the average size of a what. do you mean why do you make up stories. that's a true story steve mcqueen used. to go he has a period piece you know i. mean. yeah he here's a medieval armor yeah. yeah where's that you don't think a kid.

of the orphanage wants to walk around in. chain link armor get your [ __ ]. together man get my [ __ ] together. i'm just trying to for you you're trying. to piss me the [ __ ] i'm getting there. you already know that the story already. got me yeah i'm getting you there i love. it you're battling me. i know can we say rest in peace to regis. feldman who's that. regis died regis philbin died. regis kept. regis from the morning show he's like a. newscaster.

i don't know about news regis do you. know who regis is. regis philbin. regis philbin he died. you know regis. you've never seen this guy bob you've. never seen regis philbin he did the. morning show or whatever i don't know a. lot of. newscasters i know who um. he's it says he's the hardest working. man in show business wolf blitzer he. holds the guinness world record for most. hours on u.s television you know him.

i know wolf blitzer holds the guinness. world record for most. hours on us [ __ ] television you've. never heard of this guy. regis philbin regis and kelly lee. i'm losing my [ __ ] you know who he i. really don't know who he is why are you. trying to shame me wait no hi you have. to it's is he a movie it was he in a. movie i watched movies. no he's he's like on tv every day if he. died i'm sorry. it's not your fault you didn't do it god. bless you him.

him i mean was he good though he was so. lovable oh. jimmy kimmel put up a picture on his. instagram of him kissing on the mouth it. was really funny don't know him. jimmy kimmel you know i know who would. we just film it as. a son of a [ __ ] i knew you knew. i know but that was fun though rest in. peace recipes dude i love you man i. really am. that's so sad well we were in the trip. right i turned to you don't. she doesn't remember but i turned to. kalei and go oh regis film and just died. so so sad but he was 88.

about to turn 89 next gunned down in his. prime. yeah he was a shootout dude that's how. he died yeah no he seriously it was a. gun shootout. you don't know that he died in a. shootout he didn't yes he did i read. he did i [ __ ] read it if it was a gun. shootout. what it would be all over the news what. thank you for being a bad friend. [Music].

bad friends. you.