Boiled Hamburgers w/ Brad Williams | Ep 316 Bad Friends

You two are bad friends. >> Who are these two idiots? >> A white dude and an Asian dude. You two. are disgusting. >> Oh, you two or something. >> We're bad friends. >> Somebody's back from out of town. He's. tired. He's sad. He's down. He's. drinking coffee. Coffee. >> Great. Thanks for coming out to s. Lincoln. That show was great. >> What? >> Exactly. >> Oh, thank you for And you were great. >> Oh, Sacramento. Lincoln, California.

>> What? >> What a good show. >> Exactly. >> I didn't know what you were saying. You. were like, "Thanks for s lacking. >> Lincoln." Well, cuz I was trying to. think, is it Sack or Lincoln? >> It was. They said it was something else, didn't they? >> Didn't they say it was Lincoln? >> Lincoln. >> Oh, Lincoln. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> Lincoln Logs. >> Yeah. So, um, thanks for coming. It was. a great show. You were on fire that. night. >> What do you mean you killed it? >> And, um, >> Okay. >> What do you mean? >> You just shrugged me off. >> No, I didn't. >> You did? >> NO, BECAUSE. >> CHECK THE TAPE. >> I KNOW. BUT I'LL TELL YOU WHY. >> WHY? Because I'm Because I know if I.

said what I was gonna say that was gonna. start a fight. So I didn't say what I. was gonna say. >> Say what you're gonna say. >> I didn't think I had a great set. And. now here we go. That annoying. So that's. why I edited it out. >> Okay. Well, let's go to something. better. Fancy was wasted. >> That you were wasted. >> I've never seen you that drunk. >> I've never seen you drunk at all. Ever. >> Hammered. >> Yeah, >> you were hammered. >> One drink. >> One drink. You're alive. >> No, no, no. I I I I poured you whiskey. You drank that. >> Bobby poured you a full glass. But I. have to say on stage though, you had the. two biggest laughs out of even both of.

us. >> C right C was that's a home run. >> Perfect. >> The timing of it. >> It was so good. >> So good. What was the second punch line? It was a big one. >> Yeah. You got one more big pop. You got. two pop. >> It was based on somebody that was on. stage. It was a guy. >> Personality. >> Oh yeah. Personality person. Yeah. Personality. >> I'm one more. Uh. >> yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And I looked at you as. if to say, you know, congratulations. >> Sometimes.

>> you hit the ball. >> Sometimes he really hits it hard. >> Really huge rippling laughs. >> And because of that, we got a little. gift for you here. This says, "Hey, bad. friends. I found this Fancy Be special. while thrifting and just had to send it. along. Thanks for the making all the. best podcast on the internet. Your. number 69 fan, Mike." Shout out to Mike. He of course gave Fancy a shirt I'm sure. he owns. Oh, that was an Israeli flag. >> It is. >> Wow. >> Yahoo. >> Do you own this shirt? >> I do not.

>> That does not look good. >> Do you think that looks good? That does. not look good. >> Desi. Yeah. >> It's also double XXL, which looks It. looks. >> Is that a Deselle? >> I think so. >> That's a Desi. >> What? >> From a thrift store. >> Oh, from a thrift store. Oh, it's a. antique. Like what? A thrifty dis. >> Imagine on Antiques Road Show somebody's. like, I found this in an attic. It's a. digidual shirt. >> Yeah. >> And they're like, "These things are. amazing. They're very valuable." Uh, almost. >> You mean a 100 years from now? >> Oh, yeah. Almost nobody wore them. >> No. No one wore them. Only one guy from.

Spain. He was their man and clientele. >> Dizzy was founded in Barcelona in 1984. by Swiss businessman Thomas Meyer. The. brand originated with the aim of. creating a different meaning. Desi. affordable fashion style that stood out. characterized by vibrant colors, patchwork, and bold Mediterranean. inspired designs. It was founded on the concept of. upcycling, starting with a jacket made. from reassembled patches of used denim. So, it's old [ __ ] that they threw. together and then sold to you at a.

premium. >> Mhm. >> Yeah. I mean, >> brilliant. >> Conceptually, it's cool. It's just I. think they're using the wrong patterns. >> Execution. >> Yeah. The execution is bad. I think the. idea is good. >> It is very. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> But they've. >> like I can take this right and then this. and put it into a shirt, but necessarily. it doesn't look good. Doesn't look good. like that. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You got to find the. right combination. I think. >> you haven't found your groove. The. emperor has yet to find his new groove. >> I'll keep trying. >> But it was incredible time up in. Sacramento. >> Incredible. >> And then you immediately come home and.

you jumped on a flight to go across the. country once again. You you you got to. be. >> I'm exhausted. >> You're Airhart, dog. You're flying all. over the place. >> Well, also it's like um so we finish the. show Saturday and then I get we fly back. that night. >> and then I show up to the airport pretty. early and then five hour delay. Five. hour. >> Yeah. >> I'm going home. >> TSA. >> Yeah. So, I'm sitting there at the. airport. Had had not slept. >> Went to Philly. Then shoot. >> Are they still on strike? Or is it bad. on the way back?

>> It It's bad. >> Really? >> Oh, it's bad. Yeah. >> Hit Houston really hard still for weeks. It's 5 hour wait. I don't care about. Houston. But yeah, but out here. >> I told Honey to buy me 5,000 smart. waters, which is what we're doing. >> Mhm. >> 5,000. >> Yeah. >> Smart. Why do you you like smart water? >> No. No. It's not that I like it. It's. just that um I have this fear that the. world is ending, >> right? >> So, I'm going to get seeds. I'm going to. do the whole thing. >> You You're going to get seeds. What kind. of seeds? >> Sunflower, >> barbecue, ranch. >> That's all you need to eat.

>> No, I mean to plant. >> to plant to plant. Sunflower. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> You could chew on those for days. >> Yeah. Yeah. I'm going to get that. You. know what I mean? Chili lime. The the. Hispanic one. I like those. >> If you plant those, maybe a chili land. sunflower seed will. >> just just a Mexican guy grows in your. backyard. What I'm going to do is I'm going to. convert my backyard because I have the. um that that um not asphalt but the fake. grass. What do you call that? >> Fake grass. >> Is that what I call it? >> I think so. >> I mean, what do they call it? >> I mean turf. >> Turf. >> Yeah, >> I have turf. I'm going to take that out. Put real American soil on there.

>> American soil. >> Yeah. Yeah. I'm going to put American. soil on there, man. I'm going to get. American seeds. >> You know what I mean? I'm not growing. hummus. >> I'm growing hummus, dude. >> Okay. >> You know what I mean? American [ __ ]. Tomatoes. >> That's a net joke. >> That's a Netanyahu joke. >> Yeah, it is. >> No, it's not, dude. >> Yeah. Okay. >> Yeah. I'm not doing that. I'm not doing. [ __ ] Goya. Is Goya. It's Goya thing. >> What is Goya? I don't know. >> Okay. >> It just sounds like a Greek thing. I. don't know. Is Hispanic? Yeah. I'm not.

only American. You know what I mean? Vegetables and. >> hot dogs. Cheese. >> You can't grow hot dogs. >> Pretzels. >> No. No. I'm growing vegetables and. fruits. >> Well, you don't grow hummus either. >> You don't grow hummus. Chickpeas. >> It's a bean. >> It's chickpeas. >> It's a chickpea. We're How do you get. chickpeas? >> You grow it. >> Exactly. That's what I'm saying. No. chickpeas. >> No chickpeas in our house. >> Not Well, no. I mean, I'll eat it like. if I'm with, you know. >> No, it's American. We're not doing that. >> No, I love hummus, but I'm just saying. >> All right. >> I do love hummus. But. >> But look, chickpeas are very easy to.

grow. >> Nutrient-dense and drought tolerant. legumes that thrive in warm weather, maturing in 90 days. >> All right, I'll get chickpeas. I'll do. I'll do chickpeas. >> We'll be hummus boys. >> Yeah, we'll be hummus boys. But I just. think that I have this fear that. something's about to happen. So I'm. going to Y2K this. >> So you think a global. >> is that the right? >> Yes. >> Y2K. Yeah. >> And you know what happened there? Nothing. >> Yeah. I know. >> So it's going to be the same result. >> It doesn't matter though because it. could have happened. >> The global food source will be depleted. in your opinion in the next couple of. years. We're about to run out something. >> The straight herus is closed. We don't.

know when that is going to open up. So. it's. >> Well, just make it crooked then. Crooked. the hermoose if we can. >> Yeah. >> Stop straightening that thing out. >> Yeah. You know what I should have done? What I should have done. should have done. I'm so tired. Um, >> you know, 200 years ago, they should. just widen that thing. But they they. have more foresight. >> You know what I mean? But I'm like, hey, you we could make it wider. >> What? The straight. >> Yeah. Wider. >> Be good. >> Bigger. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> You should have been a civil engineer.

>> I know. >> I watched Plurbus again last night and. that is literally what we're kind of. what we're talking about. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> Did you finish it? >> Mhm. >> Gosh, it's pretty good. I got one left. I think. >> it's a really good show, >> but we got to watch it in chunks because. it's anxietyinducing. So, I can't get. through the whole thing at once. >> You have no anxiety, >> huh? >> You have no anxiety? >> I have all of it. >> about the world. >> Oh. Oh. About the world? Yeah. >> No, I'm comfortable, dude. I'm. comfortably numb. >> Oh, you're numb. >> Like the song? >> Yeah. >> I. have become comfortably. >> comfortably numb.

>> Good. It's a good song. >> Yeah, you nailed it. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Uh, the doomsday. clock January 27th, 2026, as of this. year, was set at 85 seconds to midnight. Closest the clock has ever been to. midnight in its history. Wow. >> Well, speed it up. Push the seconds. over. Let's have fun. >> Yeah. There's a lot of anxiety I feel in. the world. I think maybe I'm just like, you know, I mean, a sensitive guy and I. just can feel things. But like, you. know, when you walk into a coffee shop. and you look at somebody, right? What's. wrong? >> I'm a sensitive guy. I can feel things. >> You're an empath. Is that what you.

you're thinking? >> Well, I'm dating a witch. You are. dating. >> Yeah. So it rubs off on me. >> I know. My eye I I can't I can't see out. of my right eye. What are you guys. doing? >> Yeah. Yeah. Like she she told me the. other night that she can see into the. future and stuff like that. >> What does she see? >> She goes she stopped doing it because. it's like too much. She gets tired. >> That's a reason. >> I mean she got taught it. You know what. I mean? Not also not just look into the. future like like look into people's and. communicate with like spirits and stuff, right? And she's like, "It's.

>> I could run a three-minute mile, but I. just don't want to do it.". >> Yeah. Yeah. No, but it. >> I just don't feel like doing it. But I. can. >> That's pretty much it. >> Yeah. It's ridiculous. >> That's not ridiculous. You can do it, but you just won't. >> No, you literally can't. >> You can though. >> Physical limitation. >> Can you a threeminute mile? No. >> Okay. >> No, nobody can. >> Okay. No one can ride do a three-minute. mile. >> Not you or me. >> I know. But there are people out in the. world that can. >> Yeah. Maybe like Mafongo Babango. Yeah. Yeah. Mafunga mong. He can.

>> do it. Well, the girl that I'm dating is. the mafunga mafongo of witches. >> No human has ever run a 3-minute mile. >> Okay, >> wait a minute. She said she could look. into the future. I need to hear the. rest. >> Not the future. It's more like um she. can um. see things, communicate with spirits, and see things in the past. And um. >> that's the opposite. >> She's going the wrong way. >> She's Oh, yeah. >> She's She's in Wait, dude. She's in that. other universe. communicating and she's. going backwards and they're like the.

information's up here. She took. >> I don't know why you guys are laughing. at this, you know, I mean, religion. >> It's it's absolutely mindboggling, >> dude. [ __ ] you. >> It's absolutely mindboggling that you. would take one's religion and mock it. Witches and magic practitioners often. use divination such as tarot runes or. scrying. >> She's crying all the time, dog. >> She's crying.

>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. One time her dog. actually started crying. >> Do I believe. >> they they cry different? They cry. >> Oh, they cry. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. They don't. Yeah. It's. even more painful. >> Yeah. Yeah. So. >> they float when they cry. They cry. >> Yeah. So, you know, to We live in a. country where we have freedom of. religion. >> That's right, baby. best country in the. world. >> And for you to mock one's religion is to. me absurd and offending. >> Time out. >> It offend It offends me. >> You're allowed to have the freedom to.

religion to any religion. >> Yeah. >> I have the freedom of speech to mock. your religion. >> Which religion is this? >> Yeah. >> Which witchcraft? Witchcraft is a. religion. >> It is a religion. >> But I have the freedom of speech. >> Buddhism is a religion, is it not? >> Yeah, it is. But we can mock it. That's. the whole point of freedom of speech. >> Wikah. Like how. >> Wiccans. >> Yeah. Wiccans. Yeah. >> Jetski grew up. >> Yeah. But you know. >> what you're saying is contradictory in. of itself. If it's protected religion, then so is speech. So we can make fun of. it. That's the point. >> But it's kind of my religion. >> It's not yours. >> I know.

>> I know it's not. But I want to defend. the right. >> that people have the right to have their. own religion. >> and people have the right and I'll. defend. >> And you're laughing. You guys are. laughing as if like it's not real. >> No. Could be. >> No. No. We're laughing. >> It could be. >> We're laughing because it's real. >> That's the god she believes. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> Yeah. That's the goat god. >> Yeah. And tell me, >> I've seen that guy on Labraa before. >> Yeah. Now tell me, Carlos, you you were. at the drawing room at 1:30 in the. morning and you saw that. >> Yeah. In Los Felis at the drawing room.

at 1:30, right, Makone? >> Yeah. At the end of the [ __ ] bar. You've seen her or whatever that is. >> Hey, can I get a drink? >> You buy me a drink. >> Somebody buy that girl a drink. >> I walked here from Echo Park. >> You know, the horned goat lives in Echo. Park. I I got a great one bed, one bath. >> What else does she tell you about the. future? Did she tell us what's coming? Has she given you any insight? >> Well, you remember I told you that I. found your name in my freezer, right? >> She was putting it in there. >> No, that's not Did I tell you that?

>> You told me. She made you put it in. there to cool me off. >> Yeah. Yeah. To cool you off. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> It didn't work. >> No. >> You're hot. >> The freezer spell involving your name is. typically used in witchcraft to blind. stop or banish a person from causing. trouble. >> Exactly. That's what I was doing. >> Freezing their negative actions or cold. was banishing you, dude. >> Didn't work. >> I know it didn't work. You're I know. I. realize that. I realize that you're. unbanishable. Also, I realize that, you. know, I mean, >> you can't be binded. >> You can't bind me. >> Like in Lord of the Rings, that ring. No. Nothing on you. No bind.

>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know what race. you are in that world, dude. But you. cannot be bound to that ring. >> Unbound. >> You're unbound. Yeah. So, that didn't. work. You can be stopped. >> You could be stopped. You know what I. mean? But it would take like, you know, I mean, a Russian army, I think, to stop. you. So, >> don't tempt those guys cuz they'll do. it. So witchcraft to bind, stop or. banish. >> Yeah, banish. >> Two, three of those you can't do to. Anderson. You know, I tried to freeze. your negativity and it didn't work. Also, it was in there for like months. >> It was between um you butcher box. butcher box meat and a frozen pizza.

>> Didn't work. >> Yeah. I put it between like, you know. what I mean? And then like one day we're. like, "Well, eat a pork chop." And we. lifted it, right? And there was like. Andrew, get a [ __ ] piece of pizza. >> Just my face. >> No, just get your name. >> Oh, yeah. >> Yeah. And I I ripped it up. I got. >> Oh, you ripped it up. >> Yeah. Because that vanished. >> Oh, that's why I was having back pain. that day. >> Oh, you got black back. Maybe that was. like ow ow. >> Ow ow ow ow ow. >> Bind this [ __ ]. >> Unbound. >> Yeah. But uh you know who is a huge.

soccer fan? I just had no idea. >> Is Gillis. >> Oh, is he? >> Uhhuh. >> Love soccer. >> Yeah. We were in the van. We had lunch. and um you know I was watching the um. Arsenal Champions League game on my. phone. He's like, "What are you. watching?" And I go, "Arsenal playing, you know." And he goes, "Fuck Arsenal.". I go, "Fuck you.". >> Of course I would say that cuz I defend. myself. >> That's your argument. >> Yeah. That's an argument. >> That's my argument. Yeah. >> Yeah. You know me. >> Who does he follow? >> Can I just finish our conversation? And.

I go, "What' you say to me, man?" He. said, "You said that this Reuben was the. best thing on the menu wasn't." Cuz he. was like, "You got to try the Reuben.". It was okay. Anyway, he's a Manu fan. >> He's a Manchester United fan. >> Thank you. >> And then I asked him like specific. questions. He knew. >> everything. It was I was mindboggled. >> He's a big sports fan. >> No, but he was like, I've been following. them since I was a kid or whatever. I. even historically I was asking him. questions. And Gillis is a Manu fan. So. is Give me Give me another comic that's. a Manu fan. Do you know?

>> Uh I feel like we do know someone that's. a Manu fan. They have the They have. tatted on them. Oh, Ian Edwards. >> Yep. >> Yeah, >> exactly. He has a tattoo. Doesn't he. have a tattoo? >> Uh, yeah. >> Couldn't see it anyway. >> I knew I could. >> It was about to come up. Dude, you're so. fast today. >> There's only one. >> I'm so tired. You can't be quick today. >> Okay. >> Yeah. It's just too, you know, >> Yeah. It's too You know what I mean? You. talk so fast sometimes. I'm not there. >> Using the laser gun.

>> It's like those Greenland sharks. You. know those [ __ ] Have we talked. about that? >> Greenland sharks. >> Yeah. They they they live to over 400. years old. Some of them 500 years old. >> Really? The Greenland shark, the uh. longest lived vertebrae on Earth. Studies estimated live 400 [ __ ]. years. They're found in the cold, deepest part of the Arctic and North. Atlantic. These shark Hey, is my ex up. there? These sharks grow at a glacial. pace for only 1 centimeter per year, reaching maturity around 150 years old. So, they grow up at 150. That's when.

they're like an adult. >> What happened historically 400 years. ago? Just Google that. What do you mean? Like what happened right from today? >> From today 400 years ago, a Greenland. shark. >> was born. >> Just say born. >> Google. >> Yeah. Yeah. Google that. I want to see. >> what happened today. 400 years ago. >> Yeah. What happened today? 400 years ago. or this month. >> No, just say today. >> 1526. >> Uh 14 uh 400 m get hit by a bus. Um. August, what is this? Around 400 years. ago, the first recorded Africans arrived. in English colony of Virginia at Point. Comfort Rutro.

>> Rutro marking a pivotal tragic start to. slavery in North America. Roughly 20s. late people were traded for supplies. >> Yeah. >> Uh okay. Okay. Greenland shark. Not a. good time. >> I KNOW. NOT A GOOD BIRTHDAY. YEAH. TIME. YEAH. I mean people are on the you know. I mean on the. old baby's born. >> Wow. Not good. >> It's not good. >> Not good. >> I'm just saying though that they've been. around. I mean imagine there is. something on live today that witness. that not witness. He wasn't online going. oh my god THIS IS AN ATROCITY.

He wasn't like, "I got to check this. out." You know, as a baby, you know what. I mean? But he was still a lot deep in. the ocean born when this [ __ ] was going. on. >> What are you GUYS DOING? >> WHAT ARE YOU GUYS DOING, MAN? >> ARE YOU GUYS TRADING and buying humans? I'm going to go back to the depths of. the ocean. That's crazy. Imagine. interviewing one right now on his. deathbed and he's like, "Do you guys. still buy humans?". >> Like, >> yeah, >> that that's what they look like. >> Yeah, that's what they look like. They. look 400 years. >> They look old. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> 400 years. That's crazy.

>> Beautiful though. >> It's beautiful. >> What's the longest species that What's. the longest age length of a species on. Earth? What species the longest? >> That one. >> Yeah, that's it. >> Longest living vertebrate. >> Vertebrate. Yeah. >> Yeah. Vertebrate. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Longest. >> I'm sure there are plants or trees that. are longer, do you think? >> Trees live. Yeah. The longest lived. individual invertebrate uh is the ocean. quahog. A clam that can live over 500. years. >> No. >> Wow. >> Wow. >> Oh. Or the immortal jellyfish. They put. it right there on the. >> So cl What happened five year 100 years. ago? Google.

>> 500 years ago today. >> Yeah. Yeah. I'm I'm a clam. >> What did he What did we see? >> I'm a clam. I'm We're clams. We're. clams. >> What did we What did we see? What did we. see? >> So, tell us what the world was like. Well, it was shaped by the height of the. prot the Protestant Reformation, expansion of Spanish Empire. Boo. >> And the flowering of the Italian. Renaissance. Yay. >> Oh, this be this painting is beautiful. >> Gorgeous. >> A clam today was just like, wow, look at. the artistry. >> Well, look at that for me. So, a clam. saw me.

>> Whoa. On the beach saw me. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> What is he doing? >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Or me. I'm. I'm more of a Columbus guy. >> No. >> Right. >> Yeah. >> You know what I mean? >> Yeah. >> Yeah. You're happy about Mellin. No. Uh. >> I like I like Columbus. >> That was their soccer teams back then. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> Are you a diehard Columbus fan? I'm a. Mellin guy. The Inca civilization at its. peak in South America stretching from. modern day Colombia to Chile just before. the Spanish conquest in 1533. Another. bad thing you've done. So basically what. we're finding out through the history of.

invertebrates and vertebrates is you. guys are no good. >> Pieces of [ __ ]. >> Pieces of [ __ ]. >> Well in the Philippines you guys. Oh my. god. >> Oh my god. What did you do? >> You lapu. >> Okay. So Google zoom in real fast. I. immortal jellyfish. A glass sponge lives. up to 15,000 years. >> Whoa. What? 15,000 years. >> What happened 15,000 years ago? >> I'm a GL. We're We're glass sponges. >> We're We're glass sponges.

>> All right. Around 15,000 years ago. >> BE A GLASS. YEAH. Be a glass sponge, dude. >> The world was transitioning out of the. last ice age, bringing warming climate, producing glaciers. >> Man, IS IT GETTING WARMER? >> I CAN FEEL MY TOES. >> I CAN FEEL MY TOES FINALLY, DUDE. >> WHOA, DUDE. >> HUMANS BEGIN transitioning from purely. nomadic foraging to living in. semi-permanent settlements. >> Yeah. What? Oh, they are. >> And the suburbs were born. No, I'm. kidding. >> The use of clay for artistic expression. began. beads, pendants rather than. utility. Children and adults were. shaping clay reflecting a forgotten. chapter in social development.

>> Wow. >> It is cool to be the first person. >> WHAT DO YOU CALL that hammer? >> We witnessed. >> Yeah, we saw a hammer. >> We saw a hammer, dude. And getting. invented. That's insane. >> Hammer in the morning. >> Is that insane? >> There are glass jelly. What are they. called? >> Glass sponges. >> Glass. >> Glass sponges that were around when a. [ __ ] hammer was invented. >> Wow. >> Yeah. >> The same guy. >> What do you mean? >> Glass sponge. Same guy today. Same guy. today. Same dude. Yeah. Yeah. >> Same guy. >> Same dude is still around.

>> Crazy. >> Is it boring? >> I bet he's having a good time. >> No. No. All he's doing is this. >> Depends on who's visiting him. >> Have you done this? >> How long can you do this? >> 15,000 years. >> That's insane. But there's no thought. There's no. >> This is the funniest thing. He literally. Googled Glass Bunch's daily life. As if. they have like a n, you know, 9 to5. >> Y'all brought it to life. >> Yeah. Yeah. Give me daily life of of. >> Bobby. Bobby, he's got the glass sponge. as a get ready with me Tik Tok. >> Get ready for me to float in the ocean.

again. >> I have the answer. >> Sitting in one place using their silica. glass uh spicules. Oh, whoops. Sorry. To. filter vast amounts of water for. bacteria and plankton. So, they're. filtering. They're living fossils. They. can live forever and ever and ever. Show. me the video of the glass sponge. I'd. love to take a look. You know, this is. the thing about this show. Is it a poop. fart show? Yeah. But do you learn? You. sure do. I sure do. You. >> sure do. Acorns. Acorns is a smart way to give. your money a chance to grow. Acorns is. easy. You can sign up in a minutes and. start automatically investing your spare. money, even if all you've got is spare.

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such as customers accounts age and. investment settings. Does not include. Acorn's fees. Results do not predict or. represent the performance of any Acorn's. portfolio. Investments results will. vary. Investing involves risk. Acorns. advisors LLC and SEC registered. investment adviser. Give you important. disclosures at acorns.com/badfriends. >> Shopify. >> Yay guys. If you have an online business. like we do here at Bad Friends, then you. got to use Shopify. Get started with. your own design studio with hundreds of. readytouse templates. Shopify helps you. build a beautiful online store that. matches your brand style. >> Here's the best part. You can accelerate.

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support and also we talk about it all. the time. Purple Shop Pay button, baby. That button is used by millions of. businesses around the world. It's why. Shopify has the best converting checkout. on the planet. And it helps you boost. conversions, meaning less carts are. going to go abandoned and way more sales. for you. >> It's time to turn those whatifs into. cha-ching with Shopify today. >> Sign up for your $1 per month trial. today at shopify.com/badfriends. That is shopify.com/badfriends. Shopify.com/bad. friends. >> Maybe this thing.

>> Okay. >> Which is filmer. Well, most sponges are. classified. >> Is this fancy? Did he do this? That is the. >> my previous job. >> Glass sponges are classified in the. class hexakin. >> They're actually beautiful, >> dude. >> They exist in all ocean. >> Is he a deer? >> They're Asian and white. >> The only two colors back there. >> We started it all. >> Poor sponges, >> dude. We started it all. Asians and. whites. >> And you know why they're so pretty? You. know why, Bob? Cuz they're untouched, >> right? >> Cuz no one's [ __ ] with them. That's. why they're pretty. >> I want to kill one.

>> Okay. >> Strange life. Survival in the dark. depths. >> Oh, look at that. >> They beautiful geometric shapes. They. get to form into the silicon structures. are so well formed that they can. transmit light similar to fiber optics. Amazing. >> Yeah, but there here's my argument. against this. >> Yeah, let's find something negative. >> I'll say well because the difference. between that and obviously the uh the U. Greenland shark is there's no. consciousness. It doesn't have a brain. >> as far as you know. >> But it it doesn't like you know I mean. it doesn't have thoughts like you know I. mean you know I mean why did dad leave?

>> Where did all my friends go? >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. or you know what I. mean? Or you know what I mean? God gas. prices are so high. I mean they don't. have thoughts. >> and he's like well they are doing well. you saw what they're doing to Iran. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I mean there's no. right. So. >> they're not on Twitter. I get it. >> Yeah. A Greenland shark. You know I mean. I don't know what they're thinking. about. Probably food first. >> Food for 400 years. >> Yeah. Yeah. It's the second Coachella. tickets. >> No, I'm kidding. That's. >> Do you think they got backstage passes? >> What? >> The Greenland sharks got backstage. passes. >> You think so? It's like when Greenland.

shark watching Harry Styles. just popping. No. Uh, so I mean I'm. Greenland shark has a brain and is right. >> hunting in the brains. Greenland shark. >> All they do is hunt all day. >> And they have brains, right? So they. have thoughts. >> They don't think much. >> How do you know? >> It says. >> they're instinct. They're they're living. purely by instinct, focusing on slow. motion, scavenging, opportunistic. hunting in the dark. But that every day. is a new day to hunt. So it must be. fascinating to them because they're. approaching new [ __ ] all the time. They. don't stay in the same place. Do they.

stay in the same area? Right. I thought. they. >> but also far and wide. >> Swimmers of their size, they have. stealth mode. >> Stealth mode. >> But also this, right? It's like they. have to know what to eat and what not to. eat. So they don't they eat everything. >> That's instinct. You don't have to know. it. >> Garbage dispos. >> It's just like, you know what I mean? A. diet Pepsi can, aluminum can, they eat. I mean, >> that's what instinct is. You don't have. to know it. >> They literally say, >> so that's not a thought process. >> Listen, that's an instinct. >> Despite Despite being apex predators, they're primarily scavengers or garbage. disposals with diets that include seals, polar bears, reindeer, anything. They'll. eat anything.

>> Reindeer. They'll eat [ __ ] anything. >> Reindeer. >> Yeah. Reindeer. >> Wait, wait, wait, wait. Where does it. say reindeer? >> Right there. Right. I just. >> Yeah. Yeah. Go. Where? >> Reindeer. >> Reindeer. >> Santa's after, you know, they drop. >> Oh, he crashes into the ocean, >> right? And then Greenland sharks are. like. >> ho ho ho. >> Every year he kills them. >> Every 300 years he does this, right? And. he just eats one. Huh?

>> What the [ __ ] is that? >> That lives on most Greenland sharks. They just don't care because. >> Oh, on their eyeballs, right? They Yeah, they I saw a documentary where they live. on the eyeball so they can't even see. >> Tocoiraidita. is a monotopic genius of corps, a soul. species being. However, the specimen has. been found in the skin of the great. lantern shark, which has been assigned. to the to the genus, but not the. species. But they live in the eyeball.

>> That's amazing. >> Yeah, >> that's how much the Greenland shark. does. >> Both eyes. So, the Greenland shark can't. see. You mean cuz they got little dudes. on their eye. >> Just clean it out. >> Well, they have no arms. That's the. problem. >> They don't have arms. >> Oh, dude. No. >> What is going on down there? >> Yeah. >> They can't wave or anything. >> Well, what if one shark. >> They can't even wave to their friends. like, "What's up, dude? I haven't seen. you IN 300 YEARS. HEY DUDE, I HAVEN'T SEEN you in 350. years. >> WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN, DUDE? >> OH, I WAS OVER THERE. He says. >> there. They could blow bubbles. What if.

they blew bubbles right on the parasites. and got it out of there? >> Then they can't do it. >> I mean, I would rub it against like a. rock or something. Can you do that? >> Yeah, >> just gently rub it against a rock. But I. guess they don't even know how to do. that. >> Yeah, they're dumb. They run on into. >> Yeah, they just don't know. >> They have a brain though. >> Yeah. Wouldn't the brain tell them to. rub their eye? >> No. >> No. Because it's like, you know, you. don't It's so dark down there. Who gives. a [ __ ]. >> Hey, that's what Google says. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's so dark. down there. You could have whatever on. your eyes. >> It doesn't matter. >> I mean, you could put peanut butter on. your eye. It doesn't even matter.

You know, >> they do have peanut butter down there. >> Yeah. I know they do a lot. >> Yeah. But you can do whatever with your. eyes. >> You know, I mean, they can be Asian down. there. They don't. >> No, they are kind of. >> Yeah. That's not even. >> Asian Greenland shark. That out. >> No, I'll leave it in. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> Asian Greenland shark. >> Wow. Uh, they live forever. >> They live forever. >> Who? Okay, let me ask. >> Oh, look at that. He's eating udon right. there. >> Yeah. Let me ask you, what's the a Don't. Google it yet. What's the apex predator. in the ocean?

>> Probably. >> the one that no one [ __ ] with. >> The killer whale. >> That's it, dude. Yeah, >> you're brilliant. Brilliant. >> No one can No one can bind him. >> The killer whale. Isn't that the. >> No one can bind him or banish. >> Can't be bound. >> Yeah. >> Can't be bound. Can't put me in a. freezer. >> Yeah. >> Can't put me in a freezer. >> But yes, it's the orca. >> It's the orca. Yeah, the killer whale. killer whale. Dude, those guys are. insane. >> But not as cool as a sperm whale, which. gets up to the size of like, you know, three school buses or whatever. >> Yeah, but an or have you seen an orca. pop his head out and look at you? >> No. >> Yeah, >> I've never had it look at me.

>> Well, I mean, me either. I just saw on. YouTube, but I'm just saying they do it. >> They'll just pop up right with their one. eye and look at you to see if some it's. something that they want to eat. >> [ __ ]. >> You know what I mean? And then they go, "Nah." You know what I mean? And then. they pop back down. >> Can you imagine being eaten by one of. those things? >> Oh. Oh yeah, >> cuz sharks bite, but they don't always. consume. These things eat you whole. >> Yeah. They're not saying hello there. They're going, "Can I eat? Should I eat. you? >> I'm going to eat you.". >> Yeah. Yeah. >> How many people get eaten by orcas every. year? >> Not a lot. >> No. >> Let's guess. Let's guess. Let's guess.

before. >> Seven. >> You think so? >> Yeah. >> I'm going to go 16. >> Oh, okay. All right. Uh, orcas kill zero. people a year in the wild. >> No documented cases. >> Wow. They don't like us. We don't taste. good. >> Wait a minute. For sure. I feel like. we've heard a story where someone's been. eaten by. While hum while orcas are. powerful apex predators, they do not. view humans as prey. >> We only taste good to Jeffrey Dmer. >> That's the only apex predator that we. taste. >> Sitting in the ocean for a long time. >> waiting for you to take a swim.

>> There have been no confirmed records of. wild orcas killing a human. Not even. researchers that are in the wrong place, wrong time. >> How many How many people are killed by. polar bears every year? >> Let's guess. >> One. It's got to be more than that. because researchers get killed on act. I'm saying five. >> Between 1870 and 2014 there were 73. confirmed polar bear attacks resulting. in 20 human deaths. >> in that all that time. >> Yeah. It's not a lot. >> That's not a lot. >> It's not a lot. >> Yeah. >> It's not a lot. So it's probably less. than one percentwise. >> How about dogs?

>> How many people die by dogs every year? >> Oh my god. >> That one's got to be high. >> High. Guess guess. like a hundred. >> No, I'll say 1,200. >> Holy [ __ ] That's a lot. >> Yeah. I think Bob's right. >> 30 to 50. I was right. >> Just in the US. >> Oh, not just US. In the world, we said. >> world. >> 25,000 to three 30,000 human deaths. annually worldwide. >> I was closer. >> You were way off. We were way off. >> I know. >> The majority of these fatalities are. caused by trans. >> Well, does that include. >> Oh, rabies virus. People that get. >> ah no, I'm I'm not like, you know, we're.

talking about like mauling. >> M to death is way less. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> Way less. India accounts for a. significant portion of these deaths. where high populations of stray dogs. contribute to the risk. Right. Those. videos you see, there's just dogs. literally. There's like every human. there's another dog next to them. >> Yeah. Dingo uh probably kill people, too. >> They don't. It's a lie. >> Dingo. >> No, that was like an old weird You know, the dingo ate your babies of falsity. >> Okay. >> The dingoes are just like small dogs. >> Oh, they are? >> Yeah. They're little little tiny. You. didn't see one when we were over there? >> I start dingo.

>> God, I love dingoes. I love me dingo. My You're going back to. Australia. Are you excited? You're going. to go see our boys Brad and Shrimp? >> Yeah. I can't wait. >> It's going to be fun down there. >> Um. Okay. Well, that's all all our um. >> animal talk. >> Well, no. I mean, because I've been. because instead of um the war, I've been. trying to like get my algorithm to. change to more animal. >> I've only been watching war. >> Yeah. Yeah. I'm trying to do it more. animal, you know, around the world. So, it's like, you know, >> trying to change my algorithm on my Tik.

Tok because it depresses me, >> you know. Open up your TikTok right now. What's the first video that you have up. there? >> I don't want to. All right. What's your. >> I want to see what my algorithm is. Sean. Penn and Zack Alfan. >> rentree in my mind. I'm going to be 37. this year. And I like to think about. when my parents were 37. >> Like stuff like that. >> Yeah. Sick of Greenland shark on her. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> Let me just Yeah. I'll open up and let. me hear what this says then. Ready? >> Yeah. >> Just here and I'll see.

>> Oh, it's a guy jumping off of a cliff. doing in skydiving. >> Yeah. Yeah. We're in LA trying supposedly the best. shawarma in the city. >> Kill yourself. Everything is kill. yourself. Jesus Christ. >> And whenever you hear those like Tik. Toks, I go. >> and I never I I disagree. >> Every time I disagree. I've never went, "Yeah, that guy was right. This is the. best burrito." No, I've never happened. Well, that's like I saw one today that. was uh uh boiled hamburgers from 1903.

and like they live, you know, I was like. doing an advertisement for this place. and pets. That's it. Boiled hamburgers. in in Wisconsin. Look at the video of. them boiling a hamburger. This guy can't. even explain. That's not it. I wish that. was the video. >> The guy can't even explain. They were. like, "What do they taste like?" And. he's like, "Well, good." He couldn't. even tell you. >> Yeah. >> Boiled. >> Oh my god, that sounds soggy. So soggy. >> Oh my god. >> There it is. Right there. Do that one. Seven. Celebrating down. Celebrating 115.

years of boiled. >> Yeah. This is the guy. >> This guy right here. >> No, no, no. That's the new. >> He looks like a boiled hand. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> The firefighters the burgers and from. there. >> they pour water on them the whole time. >> Oh, what you're saying is that they. don't boil the bun. >> They boil the burger. >> I thought you said I thought you thought. a hamburger. No. No. Stop. Push. Pause. Okay. >> Boil the bun. >> You just lied. WHAT? YOU LIED. What are you talking. about? >> A hamburger is with the bun as well.

So, you're saying they boil the patty? >> Yes, that's the point. >> Well, then just say patty. >> They also don't boil the the cheese or. the lettuce. >> That's what I thought, though. Well, then that's not a hamburger. What? >> Are you the dumbest guy alive? >> No. No. Are you a liar? >> When I just said it's called a boiled. hamburger, that's what it's called. >> Okay, now I'm getting the context of it. So, the meat I'm sorry, I'm tired. Don't. even Don't try to like backtrack. >> I'm not backtracking out of it, dude. I.

need to defend my [ __ ] life here, dude. Please. >> All right. It's just in my mind, it's. like they boil the hamburger. Now, in my. mind, you envision a hamburger, >> right? Which Let me finish. >> You envision A HAMBURGER FULLY COOKED. LET ME FINISH. Let me finish. >> And then they boiled it. >> Yeah. Yeah. So, they So, they put the. [ __ ] bread down. That's how you put. the meat, right? Then onions, cheese, you mean relish, ketchup, right? And. more bread, right? And then they boil. the whole thing. >> That's what you thought a boil. >> In my mind, I'm like, it's so soggy. >> Oh my god, dude.

>> So, if they boil the meat, that doesn't. sound that bad. >> It looks Look at it. That looks. disgusting. >> Okay. >> Sloppy. It looks like a It looks like. >> I mean, it's better than boiling the. whole thing. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Shouldn't boil the. whole thing. >> So good. >> Yeah. >> Press play. Watch him smash it in the. water. >> Okay. >> I mean, it's it's ludicrous. >> Was that Is that dumb of me? Really? Yes. >> No, I don't think so. >> Yeah. >> Look. Look at that. Look at that. Press. play. Smashing it in the water. That.

looks disgusting. >> Oh god. Dude, >> can you push pause for a second, please? Can I defend this? >> Can I still try to defend it? >> Sure. Wiggle your way out of this one. >> Um, sometimes, cuz this is 115 years. he's been doing it, right? >> Right. >> Did Did they not say that? >> Mhm. >> Okay. So, sometimes this. All right. Just listen to my logic, please. Yeah, >> before you like mock me and laugh. >> I already laughed. >> All right. So, because if you do, your. name gets back into the.

>> All right. I will I will try to banish. you again, dude. Where's mine? Anyway, >> expellious Asianist. >> All right. So, just can you just listen. to my theory here? Sometimes you have to. think about it in context. >> Okay. >> It's everything. >> It's everything, right? So, it's like, you know, people go um you know, like. music from the 60s, right? I put it in. context like this is the beginning of. you know I mean stages of rock and roll. you know what I mean and so when you're. listening to it you listen to it with. that context right it's not as well.

produced as like a Harry Styles album. for instance or whatever right so it's. like when you go to Filipe's downtown. >> love great right right great right but. you put in the context that this has. been around for so long and they haven't. really changed their menu that much so. you eat it with that context like oh my. god this is like you know I mean the. same as it was in the ' 40s. And it's cool. >> Greenland shark might have had this. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Or those clams. Right. So what I'm saying Yeah. So what I'm. saying is these boiled hamburgers is the.

same thing. It's like a nostalgia thing. It's a context thing. You and I. >> when they boiled bread back then. >> I just. All right. He thought they made the cheeseburger. and then they boiled it. >> IT'S INSANE. >> I KNOW. I I KNOW. NOW, ALL RIGHT. NOW, OKAY, NOW THAT OKAY, now that I think.

about it, >> by the way, I agreed with him when he. goes, "It's got to be soggy." I go, "Yeah." I'm thinking, "Yeah, the meat's. got to be soggy." BUT I WAS. >> HE'S LIKE, "NO, the whole thing is. soggy.". >> And you know what? bad friends at home. Somebody please make a boiled hamburger. and send us a video of you boiling an. entire hamburger and send it to Carlos. in the booth.com. >> Anyway, we, you know, went to Lor's. >> Lies. >> You said it like a southern black man.

We're down in Lis. >> You know me and Lis. I love Lis. >> Have you been to Lis? >> Lowries? Yeah. Yeah. Lis. >> Have you been there? Oh, I am. >> Yeah. >> So, do you know what Lor's is? >> Right. >> Have you ever had had the seasoned salt? Lies. >> Lowry seasoning salt. You know that. restaurant. >> So, the same year, check out this. information. >> Larry, >> right? The same year that he developed. the salt. You mean the guy that invented. the salt opened a restaurant in LA.

called Lis on Loiaga. >> I could listen to you say it all day. >> He opened up Lis. Oh, so this is day. seven of me not smoking cigarettes. >> Wow. You made it. >> So a week of no smoking. >> I'm so proud of you. >> So, >> but wait, you went to Lowry's, >> right? And so, you know, >> like cow. Yeah. Yeah. Went to Li. Yeah. >> Who that? Cali. >> Anyway, um. went to Law's and she's like, "What?". She goes, "There's these, you know, the.

tin.". >> Yeah. >> What? Explain it then. >> I've been to Lowry's. >> What is it then? >> The tin? >> When I say tin, what do you mean. >> the tin? >> No. What does that mean? You know, >> when they cart out the tent. >> Yeah. Yes. >> Yeah. >> Yes. Exactly. >> I've been there. >> So, you know what you're talking about. >> I've been there. I told you four times. >> By the way, by the way, I've been there. and then I never went back. >> I don't like it. >> I like it. >> You do, >> dude. It's also 60% Asians that go. there. >> Well, that's why I don't go. >> Yeah, we love it. >> Yeah. And. >> once a once a race takes over a place,

I'm out. >> Okay. Well, that's crazy. >> I want it diverse. >> Okay. So, anyway, we go to Lars. >> You like that? I backed right into it. Right. Right. Wiggled my way out. >> You wiggle your way out. >> Escape room. Racial escape room. >> Yeah. >> I don't like it when there's too many. Asians cuz I like IT MORE DIVERSE. >> ALL RIGHT. Let him out. >> So when you Right. >> So normally when you go to any. restaurant, right, you know, you order. your prime rib. >> Sure. >> Right. And it just appears from the back. of the kitchen.

>> Right. Somebody prepares it. >> Somebody boils it back. >> Yeah. Boils it back there. Somebody boils up that prime rib. Go. ahead. I'm. >> Well, okay. It turns a wet bread. This. is a good a good example. What about. York pudding? That's a wet bread. >> Yeah, it's not our thing. >> I know. I'm just saying. So, in my mind, a boiled hamburger. You mean it doesn't. sound that preposterous. >> I'm going home tonight and I'm boiling. >> Okay, let's let it go. >> All right, you're at Lowry's. >> So, we're at Lars and and and she goes, um, and what happens is you order your.

prime rib and there's there's different. cuts that you can get. >> That's right. There's a California cot. There's a regular cot. I get the um. Tokyo cot, >> of course. >> Yeah. Because it's small. It's a smaller. price. >> Catering to their audience. >> Yeah. Yeah. And so they So you order. your cod and ultra sides and they bring. a little tin cart. >> and they bind your feet. >> No. No, they don't. They don't bind. So. they they they come with a tin cart, right? They open it up, right? And they. slice it in front of you. >> Right in front of your face, >> right? And they pour all the sides in. front of you.

>> A lot of juices. >> A lot of juices, right? They juice the. [ __ ] out of it, right? M. >> And you get Yorkshire pudding. >> Yeah, you do. >> Right. Which is a wet bread. >> Wet bread. >> It's a wet bread. >> Yeah. It's boiled bread. >> It's boiled bread. >> And then, you know, and then she goes, "Why do we they do it like this?" I go, "It's the nostalgia of it." Yeah. >> They've been doing it like this since. like whatever the 40s and stuff and. that's why um Asian people like it. because it it it there's some elegance. to it. It's also reminiscent of the. past. >> It's it kind of reminds you of The. Shining Ballroom in the movie The.

Shining, you know what I mean? that kind. of a vibe, you know what I mean? Gigantic chandeliers, kind of goddy a. little bit, but also dark and dam. It's. a really cool place. And the food's. great. >> It's good. >> Yeah. It's Yeah. And it's like, but it's. the it's the the ritual of it, right? So, when you said boil hamburgers, >> you thought about lottery. >> No, I'm just saying to me it's like, you. know, you know, if they've been if. they've been doing it whatever this. region of this country for 115 years. that way, right? >> Wisconsin.

Yeah. >> Can you imagine? This is the longest uh. this is the longest. >> rebuttal. >> Yeah. Like a court case. The judge would. be like, "Sir, sir, sir.". >> Yeah. >> It's We're throwing the case out. >> I'm sorry. I'm sorry. >> No, it was very good though. >> I think that the reason why Have we. talked about me quitting smoking yet or. no? Last time. >> Thanks. >> Go ahead. >> Just briefly. >> Let's hear it. >> But why I quit? >> Cuz it's going to kill you. >> That's not why. >> Good. >> Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That is why. >> That is why. Yeah. Yeah. That is why. Yeah. Yeah. But. >> Oh, the black. >> Cuz your dog died. No. No. No. The. reason why I quit smoking is cuz Remy. died. My dog.

>> Lung cancer. >> No, man. Bob, >> go down to the college store. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> How about your smoking and [ __ ]. >> Let's have a stick together before we go. to the grocery store. No, that's not. what happened. Yeah. You have [ __ ]. lung cancer. >> Your dog has stage four lung cancer. >> That'd be insane. >> How many packs does he smoking a day? >> Yeah. Yeah. But anyway, um Hey, man. Hey, >> that little William. That go that Brad.

William. >> What's up, man? >> Go that go that go that go that go that. Brad William. We thought we'd bring in. your furniture from home. Make you feel. comfortable. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> I uh I I I like it. I sat in a blue. chair in case we're doing a gender. reveal. >> Yeah. >> All right. So, some stuff. >> Is that a This is a boiled boiled. hamburger. >> A boiled hamburger. >> So, so we've got this stuff. Carlos. brought us this stuff. Carlos, why did. you bring us this? >> What is this for? >> So you could see what it's like to be. like brat. >> Oh. >> Oh.

>> So this is what it's like for a. toothbrush. >> Yeah. Okay. >> So then, man. So. >> Wow. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> It's tough, isn't it? Are big. >> I realize how tough it is. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> But you can still write with this. >> Well, but you got to use a toothbrush. with two hands. >> Oh, I see. I see. A really hard scrub. >> That's the only way it works. >> Exact. Exactly. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. That's how they polished the. pyramids. >> Remember back in the day? >> Dwarves didn't. >> Yeah, I wasn't there, but I'm just. saying. >> Wait, dwarves didn't do that.

>> No, we didn't polish. >> There was one dwarf that worked on the. pyramid. >> How do you the the top one you got? They. send you up there. No, >> something tells me the dwarf was at the. bottom. >> They were like, "Yeah, get the bottom. Get the get down there.". >> It's like, >> yeah, but you can lift him to the top to. put the little, you know, I mean, the. temple part at the top of it. >> If you see a dwarf window washer, he's. not doing the top part. >> No, he's on the bottom. >> He's on the bottom. >> Oh, you're on the bottom. Yeah, I'm. >> I'm just saying you could be on the top. >> I've always been a power bottom, Bobby. You know this, you know. Yeah. Yeah. >> On top is fun for you. Is is is top fun.

for window washing or sex? What are we. talking about now? >> Have you ever been to Jimmy's? >> Wait, what? Jimmy? >> Jimmy Yao? >> A U S. >> It's for men 5'8 and under. >> Cuz that's where I get my suits. >> That's where he gets his suits at. Jimmy. >> I didn't know this was a real place. This was never discussed in the. meetings. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, >> Jimmy. >> I would like to highly recommend Jimmy. They would love you. >> I'm going to have to go there. >> Yeah. >> Holy [ __ ]. >> I go there all the time. >> So like I will walk into Jimmy and just.

be like, "Wow, I have a challenge for. you guys.". >> Yeah. >> You say you you say 5'8 and under. Let's. Let's hit the. >> No, they have it all. They have it all. They do. >> They have it all there. >> My dwarf ass. >> Yeah. Go to Jimmy, dude. >> They have a section called your dwarf. ass. >> in the back of Jimmy House. >> Yeah. >> We already plugged this guy so much. We're giving him good business. >> I know. I mean now now he's going to get. >> probably Dinklage goes. >> all my money. Yeah. >> Wait, Dinklage goes. >> He hates Dinklage. Don't know. I know. >> Arch nemesis. >> I can't. >> Well, you're not going to go at the same. time. But you guys have like, you know.

what I mean? A schedule. >> Aren't you guys on an app? >> Yeah, an app where it's like a We can't. be here at the same time. >> Two dwarfs can't be. >> cuz there's only one section for you. people, right? So that's a lot of. traffic. >> Isn't there like an eye? >> You have to make an appointment, you. know, of like when dwarfs can come in. >> Yeah. >> Okay. So what what what's your. Go ahead. >> The the Dwarf app actually uh is the. same as the car app. Lift. >> Lift. >> Very good. >> Good. Go ahead. >> What store has the best dwarf clothing?

>> Oh, the best dwarf clothing. >> Yeah. >> Like Brad's going to go shopping today. >> Aside from um Gap's kids. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Frotos. >> Um what called Frotos? >> Let me tell you. >> He can't get. >> Let me tell you. >> That's Dude, that's a great clothing. Bro, dude. >> Yeah, a bag ends. >> or the Shire or whatever you want to do. Let me tell you, that's a I think that's. a good. >> clothing business. Tell the best. clothes. It's at Plantain Republic.

>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> You guys, >> Plantain Republic. >> That's really funny. >> Well done. Well done. Yeah, >> I I will say. >> all right. >> The selection. >> at Build-A-Bear. So great. I knew it was coming. >> Is so great. I can be an astronaut.

>> I can be a dancer. >> That's so funny. >> I can do whatever I want there. >> And then we can put a little button in. you so you have somebody's voice inside. your stomach when we press. >> I finally have a heartbeat. >> You don't have hearts. >> No, but where cuz remember the other day. you were at the store a couple months. ago and I was like, "Where'd you get. that jacket? It's dope. >> Yeah. >> Build the bear. >> Build the bear. >> I did ask him that. >> Why'd you laugh at that? >> They're not They're not for you. >> I KNOW. I KNOW. I know. But. >> that's why Bobby asks, >> did I not? No, I was really like I I I.

liked your fit that night. >> Yeah. >> Right. So, I was asking like where do. you get like I I feel like I go where'd. you get all that? You know what I mean? >> And you were explain to me like you mean. you know a guy. >> that shirt that shirt is great. Where's. that shirt from? Uh, this shirt is from. a uh a uh kids bowling team. >> That's dope, man. >> I just jump I I just jumped them after a. match. >> Imagine. >> I know what it was. >> I could take them. It was the pants. >> Oh, the pants. >> You remember the pants? You go and you. and you bought a bunch of those. >> Yes. >> Yeah. So, that's what it was. I.

remember. Yeah. >> Yeah. If you find something that that's. good. See, I do that anyway. If I find. something I like, I'm buying is a bunch. of them. >> Let's go. That's what you do. I buy all. the colors. >> You have to buy. If I like it, it fits. Cuz I don't like how certain jeans fit. or pant. I'm like, I'm just going to buy. a few of these. >> cuz cuz you have the opposite problem of. me. You have like long legs but then no. ass. >> I got a nice ass. >> It's no ass. >> Out of your [ __ ] mind. >> You're out of your [ __ ] mind. >> You kidding me? That is. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> But you're bending over. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's a really good. ass. >> You're sticking it out. >> A good ass, dude. >> That's booty.

>> Yeah, but now the pants are pushing it. up. >> What about mine? What about mine? >> All right. Hold on. Let Let me judge. >> You asked for it. >> I asked for it. >> No. Stand straight up. Look at it now. Look at my ass. I got you know what this. You know what, >> brother? I got a great [ __ ] You're. out of your mind. >> I stand corrected. >> I have a nice [ __ ]. >> I I stand corrected. Only hair at the. bottom. >> Yeah. >> How'd you do that? >> Well, look at this. Look inside. >> It's so pink. >> Dude, you have the pinkst [ __ ] I've. ever seen. It's so pink. >> I won an award in 06. >> You did. >> You definitely have a virgin [ __ ].

>> I do, brother. >> It's like a piglet's [ __ ] this guy. >> I just never been touched. It's never. been touched. It's never been abused. >> Is that what I'm saying? The color has. nothing to do about [ __ ] abuse. It. has a lot to do with it. Really? >> Yours is darkest night. >> I know, but that doesn't necessarily. It's not a black eye. Somebody's. punching my [ __ ] [ __ ] I'm just. ethnic. >> They're punching with their wheel. >> No, they're not, dude. No, they're not. It's. >> not in your [ __ ] It's the Greenland. shark down there. >> Who has a darker [ __ ] The Greenland. shark or me? >> By far you. >> Okay. No. Like I I literally You have.

the pinkst [ __ ] I have ever seen. >> It's so pink. It's insane. Do you [ __ ]. out your mouth? Cuz there's no way. There's no way [ __ ] COMES OUT. >> BRAD, YOU'RE A GENIUS. >> You must [ __ ] out your mouth. You've. seen what I do on stage. Yes, I do [ __ ]. out of my mouth. >> Are you a little bisexual or no? >> No, I I I've had a I've had a male male. female threesome. >> Yeah, the devil's threesome. Devil's. three. >> Yeah. Yeah, I've heard of that. That. move. >> The uh Yeah,

>> devil's two and a half. >> Yeah. >> Uh it was a lot of fun. >> Oh, yeah. >> We didn't do an Eiffel Tower. We did a. leaning tower of Pisa AND. >> it was a tall guy and me. >> Yeah, >> there's a tall guy me. So, I've done. that. I I don't know where that puts. you. >> But did you touch the guy at all in any. way? >> Yeah, but it was accidental. >> Oh, yeah. Yeah, there's always. accidental rubbing. >> Yeah, there was. >> Well, like we had to like we had to. switch positions at one point and this. is back. I'm going to just tell you.

right now, if I ever had sex with you. and another girl, I would be laughing so. [ __ ] hard. I would not be able to get. hard, dude. You know how funny that'd. be? Oh my god, dude. Oh my god. >> You would you would be hearing the sound. of Mario getting a coin every time I. thrust. >> I mean, >> oh my god, dude. Oh my god. It's so. funny, dude. >> How All right. How scared would you be. if you were having a threesome and and. the and the other male was a dwarf of.

the of of the male having the bigger. dick than you? >> Oh, >> cuz that that's why I got to give this. guy props that had the threesome with me. >> because like he was very confident and. then it turned out I found out why. But. uh he had a big old hop. >> Yeah, he had a big old hawk. >> Can I ask you a serious question at six. if I may? Cuz we're [ __ ] around but. you know what I mean? I want to ask him. a serious question. >> Of course. Do you think as a comic like. sometimes I think you know like the. reason why you know I had the upper hand. in comedy was because I'm a smaller. Korean dude.

>> and I looked the way that I do right. which sets me apart from other people. I. mean do you think that the um dwarfism. helped you in your comedy? >> Oh at first it helped. >> Yeah. >> and then later it hurt. >> What do you mean? >> Because at first it helped because. >> because of his joints I mean they're. really. >> that's hard. I had to walk a long way. Those comedy stools on stage are high. >> You know how high the stage is? >> Oh my god. I had to get a sherpa for. those things. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> They had to make one of those. >> Get him up on stage. Go ahead.

>> So, it helped at first because then for. the exact reasons that you described. that people wanted something different. on the show. They didn't want to just. your average straight white male like. like just a straight redheaded white. guy. Like that's so boring. That's just. so horrible and boring. even if they do. have a nice. >> because I believe that it was harder for. you. >> Let him finish it. >> But and then so that got me on shows but. then it was harder to get past the. threshold of people think I was a. gimmick. >> and people to actually like pass me on. to the next stage of like oh no but he's. he's actually funny like actually funny.

on stage. >> Oh no, dude. I think that's your own. head saying that because it's like you. know I mean. >> there's a lot of space. >> There's a lot of space. >> Yeah, >> that's an echo. >> Oh it's an Okay. >> Yeah, >> that's a big old head. >> Yeah. When I was on the cruise, when I. was performing, I thought to myself, Brad, you would have just disappeared. because it was shaking back and forth. >> Oh my god. >> I love Yeah. Me and gone to the other. side. >> Dude, I love comedy on cruises. >> Fun, right? >> Fun. He loved it. When it's a theme. cruise, did you do the do the Joker's. one BS cruise?

>> No, I did the um the Workaholics guys. >> Oh, yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Okay. >> That was really fun. >> Yeah. It was me, Schwarz, and it was so. much fun. >> That's so cool. Uh I do the Chris. Jericho rock and wrestling rager at sea. >> Wow. So that's pro wrestling comedy and. heavy metal on a boat. Wow. >> Do you do you get to wrestle? >> Oh, there's clips. >> Oh, really? >> Yeah. There there is a clip of me giving. Hornswaggle a Stone Cold Stunner. >> You can find that. >> [ __ ] way. >> Yeah.

>> Oh, he took off your hat. >> He stole my hat. That son of a [ __ ]. >> Gives me the finger. >> Oh my god. That was the moment when like. Sonic the Hedgehog gets hit and the. coins just fly out of him. >> Yeah. >> Me giving another dwarf a stunner. >> You got to go down there. It'll take him. an hour to get back up. >> Wow, that sounds so. >> That was so much fun. So like at So like. >> as a wrestling fan, I can tell you like. the holy [ __ ] chant is like a one of the. best compliments a wrestler can get. And.

and we got that just staring at each. other. >> Oh wow. Wow. Wow. >> I I didn't have to go through like a. table of thumb tacks or anything. >> It's a very Look at that. That's a very. holy [ __ ] moment. >> Did you practice that? >> No. >> Oh, instinctual. >> Felt it in the moment, man. >> Yeah, that's a dwarf on dwarf crime. >> Okay. >> Wow. >> I'd love to know those stats on dwarf on. dwarf crime. That's my Look at my. favorite thing. You You did it, but it. was the same height as before. Nothing. >> as I'm sitting down. It's the same.

>> same height, >> bro. I have watched dwarves get into. actual fights. It is so funny. >> Really? It is so funny. I So, every. summer there's a there's a national. dwarf convention. >> Oh my god, we got to go. >> We got to go. >> Where is it? >> Uh, this year it's. >> This year it's Mordor. That's very good. Uh, this year it's in New Orleans. >> Oh, we got to go. >> We got to go. >> Yeah. Little Rock, AMERICA, >> SMALLVILLE.

>> PEBBLETON. >> The Go back. Go back. The Little People. of America at the LPA National. Conference is an annual weeklong event. providing support, education, community. for people with dwarfism and their. families. And. >> that's a fun way of saying bon. >> last year. >> because that's all it's for. >> Last year was in San Diego. >> Yeah. Wow. >> I went to that one. >> So, um, are the tickets half off? So, when you. >> Stop it, dude. >> The only one is in Minneapolis. >> Minneapolis. Yes.

>> That's a good one. >> Very good. >> That's a really good one. >> Very good. >> Yeah. So, so this year. >> it it should not be in Ireland. >> If it's in Ireland, we're going to trip. some people the [ __ ] out. >> Yeah, dude. >> Someone's going to walk out of a pub and. go, "Holy shit.". >> This is like the It's like when the. crickets fell from the sky, you know? They It's happening. >> I [ __ ] sign of the apocalypse. >> So, click on that thing. The future. national. I want to see this. 2026, it's. happening. It's July. >> Yep. July, it's in New Orleans. And then. 2027, it's in New York. New York. >> Wow. >> Wait, why can't we go to this? Is it Is.

it. >> If we went, would it be weird or No. Yeah. Okay. I mean, we. >> Yeah, we'd be showing off. >> Yeah, we don't have security guards or. anything. >> Oh, okay. >> What if you guys need to grab something. from up on a top shelf or something? >> We need you guys. >> I mean, but but the people that are. working there are not dwarves, are. there? Or no, >> I mean, yeah, it's all it's all. everyone working there is dwarves as. well. >> Yeah. >> Wow. >> Yeah. So, like the. >> Is the building smaller? No, it's it's a. regular hotel, which always trips me out.

cuz there's people staying in this hotel. that don't know there's a dwarf. convention going on when they book it. and they just show up like I've hit the. [ __ ]. >> Some guy on a sales trip walks into the. marquee, walks out of the bar, they're. in the lobby, he's like, "Fuck.". >> I am. >> Could you Could you imagine if you did. drugs for like the first time and then. you woke up the next day, you're. surrounded, >> you're surrounded by dwarves like. >> tripping on mushrooms. >> I'd be like, "Holy [ __ ] I fell into. Narnia. So, how many people go to this. convention? >> Over a thousand, >> right? So, that's like 300 regular.

people. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> A thousand little people go every single. year. And now, is this raising money for. anything at all? >> Yeah. >> So, it's a charity. >> LPA. >> It's a church. >> What does that stand for? LPA. >> Little People of America. >> Oh, there is an organization. >> Little People of America. >> LPS in America. >> Wow. Yeah. And now now this is actually, let's be honest, >> this is similar to summer camps and all. that stuff. This is just a hookup. convention for young single.

>> Yeah. Yes. >> Yeah. You you you go all year and you're. and you're friend-zoned and then you go. to a dwarf convention and you're hot as. [ __ ]. >> That's pretty and it's awesome. Like. >> now were you getting laid to these when. you were single? When you were going to. these, >> bro? >> Wait, seriously. >> With other dwarves? >> Bro, >> really? >> Really? >> I've got stories. >> Give us a story. I've laid I've laid. waste to some little women. >> What was the. >> So little women turn you on? >> Yeah. >> Oh, okay. >> You're married to You're married to. Well,

>> what do you mean little women turn? >> Yeah. Why is that funny? >> Because you acted surprised. >> No, I. >> No, he inquired. >> No, because I'll tell you why. Because I. know some Asian dudes are are attracted. to white girls and not the same. >> Not It is the same. >> Traiers. >> No, it's not. >> Yeah, >> they're traders, right? >> Yeah. I love. >> He's married to a full-size Asian woman. >> I understand that. I know her. >> He's a traitor. >> He's a traitor, though. >> Yeah, he's not a traitor. >> That's That was. >> You cut are a traitor. >> Lot a lot of the dwarf women call me a. trader. This is. >> Do they really?

>> Yeah. >> That's insane. >> Yeah, this is very true. >> No. What do you mean? This is the same. as like. >> black guys. >> What? >> Like black guys with white girls? >> Yeah. >> What's up? >> Like black dudes when they're with white. girls that home. >> and vice versa. Hey, >> who's the traitor there? >> You going to leave him out there? >> Yeah, >> go ahead. Let him fly. >> Oh, no. I don't need help on this cuz I. know it's true. >> Okay. >> Yeah. >> Oh, he Oh, he knows about. >> black women complain that black men are. >> with white girls. >> Oh, right. Right. Yeah. Yeah.

>> Oh, dude. >> That's what he meant. >> I thought he meant he didn't like it. >> OH, NO. >> I was like, are you good? >> Yeah. No, >> I didn't I didn't read that. >> Yeah, but. >> but you understand that was my boiled. hamburger moment. >> Yeah. Yeah. But also but also he doesn't. like it. >> But he doesn't like it. No. Yeah. For. what it's worth. Yeah. >> Let's be honest. >> No. But but okay. How many. >> Mhm. >> And these are all You're all consenting. adults. How many little people How many. little women love that movie. How many.

little women How many little women? >> We should remake it with little women. >> Why do they not? >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> How is that not. >> How many little women in a weekend? It's. a weekend. >> Uh it's a week. >> It's a full week. >> Yeah, full week. What was the full. takedown number of a full week. >> of my. >> How many women did you sleep with? >> Of my best year. >> Your best year. >> I mean, we we hit two hands. >> No way. >> You're talking one or two a day. >> Yeah. >> Wow. >> Wow. >> It was fun. >> Wow. I told you it's a [ __ ] carnival. >> I was [ __ ] Matt Refe at that damn.

thing. It was great. >> Wow. >> You hooked up with Matt. >> You're the Matt Refe of Little People. >> The Matt R of little people. >> Yeah. Wow. >> He's doing ground crowd work. >> Yeah. No, I had a I had a very good time when. I was single. That's amazing. >> It was fun. >> But who do you find more attractive? Um. little people or. >> uh and and this sounds. >> non little people. >> or non little people. Like what do you. >> or reachers? >> Or reachers? Yeah. Can we call them. reachers? Yeah. >> Wait, what's our what's our derogatory.

names? Reachers. What's the other one. you call us? >> Biggers. >> Biggers. Yeah. Bigger. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So. >> big. Big us. >> So who do you what do you find more. attractive? I I say hard R. >> Okay. You have to say big. >> I can say bigers. Okay, got it. >> Don't like you bigger. >> Yeah, >> bigers be crazy. >> So, do you prefer bigas or um or do you. prefer um little users? >> Little Right. >> Little. Yeah. I'm just learning this.

>> It sounds crazy, but I truly don't have. a preference. >> Oh, yeah. I truly don't. >> Because he's been with both women. >> Yeah. It's great. I've just never had. the opportunity to date a a a little. person. Come on, you're Asian. There's. plenty. >> To many women, to many women, you are. the little person. >> Okay. >> Yeah. Yeah. But you know what I mean, though. >> Yeah. Yeah. Have you had the. opportunity? Like, have never been hit. on by a little person or Got to go to. the convention, man.

>> Yeah. I mean, I've never I never have. That's kind of crazy. No, I've never. been hit on, but but because here's the. thing. Every time I've ever seen like a. little woman, she's with a little man. >> Yeah. >> It's it's it's it's like I've seen many. little men in p little men. I've seen I. don't know. >> Slow down. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> I've seen many male dwarfs in public. without women like by themselves or in a. group, >> but I've almost never seen a dwarf woman. with a group of other dwarf women in.

public out on the town. >> Why did there need to be more than one? Do you have a selection? What do you. call that group of M&M's? >> What do I call them? >> Yeah, it's like a murder of crows. >> I like the green M&M's. I mean, >> what's a group of dwarves? Is it a Is it. a coaster of dwarves? >> I don't know. >> I don't know, dude. I've never seen. you. >> Look at those. A handful of them. >> I can see like 20 women coming out of a. Whimo,

>> bro. There there was one time at a. convention where uh there there was. there was a group there was a group. action go going on and there was there. was an orgy. >> Yeah. >> Of little people have little people. orgy. >> Yeah. >> And there was about but that loos. >> stop it Carlo. >> Stop it. >> Stop it. Stop it. Stop We all slept in. the same bed that night, but instead we. slept like sideways.

>> like sardines. >> We We We fit. >> You fit. >> We fit. >> Yeah. Yeah. Wow. >> That's the best thing about that. convention. You guys can all share a. room, huh? >> Yeah. >> Like puppies and stuff. >> Yes. Like litter. You call it a litter. >> He told you it's called a handful. Handful. >> Handful of one. >> Okay. >> And uh Yeah. Yeah. You throw a couple. pillows in the bathtub, you fit three. more in there. >> Wow. Wow.

>> You're good. >> So, how many people fit on the bed? I. want to do the math on this. >> So, and this is real. >> What size bed is it? A king. >> Wait, wait, wait. >> Let him. It's a king hotel bed. He's. going to tell you what is actually real. Tell me. >> No jokes. >> No jokes. >> No jokes. >> We always make sure there's either like. six or eight of us. >> Oh my god. There can't be seven of us. Why? >> The animals just start singing. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> We do that on purpose. >> There's just like a sleeping white girl.

in the back. >> We will literally look around be like, "Okay, there's six." If one guy comes. up, we're like, "You can't come in. >> You can't come in." Yeah. >> Find another. >> Oh, that's really That's lore then. It's. a lore thing. >> We don't like it. >> Yeah. Yeah. Oh, you don't like it? >> Yeah. We like We're There can There. cannot be seven of us in a room. >> Wow. That's so funny. But that's really. nine's fine though. >> No. Yeah. Yeah. >> Yeah. Yeah. Any none but seven because. Okay. >> totally cool. >> because of the movie. Yeah. >> Yeah. By the way, did did you guys see. the the results of the Rzzy Awards?

>> No. No. >> Uh the CGI Dwarf Actors. >> Oh, that's right. You you won an award. >> which I think is. >> I think that's great. >> [ __ ] fantastic. >> Yeah. >> That you know it was uh not actual. dwarves playing the dwarves. >> Yeah. >> Which I know you have a big gripe with. >> Are you still mad at that? Yeah, of. course. I'm still mad at that. Missed. out on a [ __ ] payday, dude. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> All All seven artificial dwarfs, all the. AI CGI dwarves got Yeah. >> Yeah. As as worst supporting actor. >> And Nicholas Cage was up there. Steven. Dorf, Greg Caner, and Sylvester.

Stallone. Wow. >> Who's Cage? Cage for what? >> Gunslingers. >> Oh, I see. >> Yeah, we Yeah. >> He phones it in. >> Seven seven CGI dwarves. >> Didn't used to. >> won for worst supporting actor. And. according to this website, uh, they took. home a joint Razie, stealing yet another. award that could have gone to a real. life dwarf actor. >> Let me ask you something. >> I could have won that Raz. >> Now, if they did use u dwarves in the. actual movie and you didn't get the part. of the seven, would you be mad?

>> Heartbreaking. >> Oh, yeah. That would be heartbreaking. >> It's like being one of the funniest guys. on planet Earth and not getting it. >> Yeah, >> cuz Right. That would be heartbreaking. >> It it it truly would be cuz it's like. there there there's not that many of us. Well, in the acting in the acting space. Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Like how many in that? >> I would argue there's too many of you in. the non-acting space. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> Gota get you down to one profession. >> Probably 20, right? >> I mean, you see the same guys at every. audition, you know? Like, >> so it's like 50/50 getting it for you.

>> Probably. >> Yeah. If they used warp. >> Who Who's your like Frederick Douglas or. >> like is there a historical figure that. you can go back to? Absolutely. >> Yeah. Yeah. Who is it? >> Billy Barty. Billy. >> That's what I want to know. Look up. Billy Barty here. >> Billy Barty. Uh, he was an actor and he. actually founded Little People of. America. He founded LPA. >> Wow. >> So we So all of those orgies happened. because of Billy. >> Yeah. Thank you, Billy Barty. >> That's your MLK. >> Yeah. >> Okay. Wow. >> We we we should at least get a half day.

off work. >> Yeah. Oh, yeah. >> For for his birthday. >> I had a dream. >> You're right. He does a speech. I mean, I'd make fun of you, but that's. kind of what he sounded like. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> Billy Barty. >> Yeah. That So that Yeah. So that's our. guy. >> Wow. That's your guy. >> And how And how and how long ago did he. pass away? How long has he been dead? >> Uh I don't know. >> Let me see. 2000 he died. >> 2000. >> Oh, so you never met him? >> Oh, no. I I I met him. >> You've met Billy Bardy? >> Yeah, I've met him.

>> Yeah, he was a great guy. >> And did you get nervous when you met. him? Like. >> No, cuz I didn't really know who he was, >> but then he didn't know his social. impact. >> at the time. You didn't? Yeah. And now. And now I know. >> you blew off Billy Barty. >> Yeah. >> He was in Willow. Yeah. >> Yeah. He was. >> I remember him. Willow. Yeah. >> He was the sorcerer. That's like the. power to control the universe is in what. finger. >> Was he R2-D2 or. >> No, that was Kenny Baker. Kenny Baker. >> I know way too much. >> Yeah. Yeah. No, that's good. You know. your history. I think that's important. >> I got to know my history.

>> They g they gave us some history. Yeah. So, >> it's more of a pamphlet, not really a. whole book. So he died at what what does. it say? 76. Is that what he was? >> But historically but but historically. who's your like you do you have a. Genghaskhan back then or Oh like oh like. oh like a dwarf. >> evil dwarf like an evil dwarf back then. like 200 3 400 years. >> I mean I think uh there was one dwarf. serial killer. >> Oh this is Dude uh I forget his name.

>> Well look at this. There's there's a. couple here. There's uh Tom Thumb. The. original Tom Thumb. Charles Stratton. >> Yeah. And then there was um uh Count. Joseph Burlowski, a 3-3 Polish born. entertainer, musician, author who was. welcomed European course, later lived in. England. The Oitz family, a Jewish. entertainer Romania. >> The o Okay. The Oitz family. I if if you. gave me unlimited power in Hollywood, I. make that movie. >> The Oitz family. >> Yeah. Because why? Why? Why? Why? They. were a family of Jewish dwarves from.

Romania, but they were taken to Awitz. and uh they were experimented on and. like they were did all and not all of. them survived. Don't do it. Come on, do. it. >> Don't do it, Bobby. >> Don't even What do you It's a hat on. your hat. Don't do it. >> I really don't have a drug for it. >> Yeah, you don't do it. Do it. Do it to. my face. Don't do it. Look at me. Yeah. Yeah. >> Remember, I have a child. >> Yeah. >> The little train.

Stop it. >> You want these are going to put you guys. in the toaster oven. >> Easy bake. Easy bake. You guys are in dog cages. >> Ding. >> Yeah. Yeah. You heard the ding of the. easy bake. You're like, "Ding, dwarves. are done. >> Oh my god. Those are the worst jokes.". >> The dwarves of Awitz. >> Yep. >> Wow. That's so [ __ ] up. >> So [ __ ] That's the documentary that. >> dude now the food in terms of No. No. I. want to ask you real though.

>> Can I be real about it? Right. It's just. like you mean, right? You They weren't. as hungry as. >> I knew it. I knew it. >> If they give you like less bread, they. give you less. >> Thank you. Everyone a slice of bread. We're sitting there like we're eating. good. You just getting like a crouton. >> We got to starve the dwarves. What? What. do we do? Croutons. Croutons. Make him a. crouton. >> Crouton is a loaf of bread. >> What do you got? A [ __ ] loaf of. bread.

>> Did you guys get the same amount of. food? >> I don't know. I wasn't there. >> Okay. All right. >> That old. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> Seven dwarfs of Awitz. The fact there. were seven of them. >> The seven dwarfs of Awitz. That's the. original story. That's right from. >> Oh, wow. That's. >> That is crazy. >> Really? And I swear to God if you if you. CGI people. >> seven dwarfs with That's a cool [ __ ]. Wow. that they got to make that movie. I. really want a movie that you should. produce. >> I want to produce it. I just don't have. them enough money right now. >> You know, you got to find the rights to. it is what you got to do.

>> Yeah. Who has the IP of that? >> Who the hell is John the Dwarf? >> Yeah. >> John the Dwarf. The desert father of. early Christianity. >> Yeah. John the John the Dwarf. >> Blame me. >> A Coptic Desert. Yeah. The Coptic Desert. Father. Yeah. >> All right. And then there was one dwarf. I know who who was actually the one that. actually mapped like uh the inside of. the human body. Like one of the first. >> Well, cuz he could crawl in there. >> Exactly. Get in there.

>> There it is. Make one slice and I'm in there. >> [ __ ]. >> Through where? >> How do you know where the liver is? I've. been there. >> Cuz I have been there. I can tell the. tale. >> We're so sorry, man. >> Why? >> I feel bad. I feel I mean, that's not. funny, dude.

>> It's so [ __ ] up. >> It's all right. >> I see him just crawling around, man. Just crawling around. Andrew, Andrew, you'd see the lump in. the chest like from Alien. >> In fact, that's what the motivation for. Alien was that burst out of the chest. >> East said that there are five ARTERIES. AROUND THE THERE ARE FIVE AROUND THE.

HEART. IT pops back in. >> THERE'S FIVE. THERE'S FOUR. THERE'S FOUR. CHAMBERS. God damn. >> Hold on. >> I'm going to find out how many stomachs. we have. I'll be right back. >> What does he think? He's been in there. for so long. >> Brad, come come in with a strong. >> Oh god. >> Brad, this is why we've been friends for. so long. >> So long. >> Cuz we have the most fun. >> We love you so much. >> Damn, dude. >> Oh god. >> And Brad, by the way, >> Brad, by the way, for people that want. to know, >> not just a great guy, great comedian, has a special out right now. Please go.

watch it. It's live. Listen to the title. of this. You ready? >> Yeah. >> It's real. Tell them the name of the. title. live on Short Street. >> It was filmed on Short Street. The. theater the theater he filmed it at sits. on Short Street. Lex in Lexon, Kentucky. >> And when does it come out, Brad? A. >> uh April 12th. >> April 12th. Check it out. >> April 12th on my YouTube channel. Go to. Brad Williams Comedy. You can you you. can watch it. Some might argue it's a. short film. >> Okay. >> Amazing. >> Yeah, that dude. If that ever won, like.

I should make that Seven Dwarfs of Seven. Dwarfs of Awitz. But make it a short. film. >> Oh my god. >> Just so we can win best short film at. the Oscars. That'd be so good. >> That'd be so good. >> He's a little funny. No, he's very. funny. >> Go see the man live right now. >> Brad, look into the uh and and say thank. thank you for being a bad friend. >> Hey everybody, thank you for being a bad. friend. >> Wow. >> So good.

Woo! Yeah! Woo!