Bobo’s Magic Calf Cream | Ep 20 | Bad Friends with Andrew Santino and Bobby Lee

you two are bad these two idiots bad. friends people in my house that live. what they treat me like I'm a [ __ ]. ghetto son of all sons could you a man. what would you sell door-to-door if you. could tour the country and sell stuff. what do you think you would sell I will. sell I would sell point mints oils just. for the Cavs like when a calves calves.

and get yeah when you know what calves. sometimes get Soros or fool I daily. activities like hauling rocks or mining. or whatever you do was this a lot of. kicks. is this the pitch yeah here okay pitch. me um do you ever I will go hello hi my. my name would be Robert hello I'm Robert. Jung Lee that's my middle name hi Robert. hi I'm Robert young Lee and may I ask. you some questions sir absolutely I've. got nothing but time are your calves. sore how do you know yet because do you.

every day as we go on to our daily. businesses and we um we walk mountain. top so weekly I'm cliff solo open clear. I'm in a lot of care and we you know we. also do reverse kung fu kicks to the. suplexes to be a yes and do you ever. also do sidestepping x' when you're. dancing yeah you know in the country. line when you're in the country line and. you do side steps yes you ever do that. do you ever um do you ever like go when.

you instead of saying no you do like you. know me you lift your leg up yeah yeah. of course it when somebody says have you. ever seen a jungle book the movie you go. no but instead of saying you put lift. your leg up no yeah yeah yeah well I. have the greatest oil for you okay what. is it this is called green stuff green. stuff yeah and it's made from a low and. tree bark and also if you go deep in the. Amazon there's a mysterious tree called.

the carnivore a tree the kind of aura. tree yeah so it eats meat the treats me. yeah but need you let me tell you my. friend we have a technology in hand okay. we take a machine right Bunsen burners. you take a machine you take Bunsen. burners. it's a machine based on the Bunsen. burner technique got it right and then. what we do is we slice over the artery. of the base of the kind of or tree so. the tree has veins so it has a blood.

running through it mm-my okay a. technical article tube and oh a tattoo. yeah yeah we call the technological -. sorry I shouldn't shorten and over yeah. thank you. but over a six month period right we. slowly ionize the juices from the. khawarij whoa right along with aloe and. also along with angel wing dust where. does the aloe come from tell you what. the angel wing does come from mm-hmm did. you know that some of our we have a crew.

of people who died everybody dies no we. flatline on purpose like in the movie. Flatliners yes and what we do is we. flatline for spent for a second we only. let them flatline for about 15 minutes. because if you let them flatline more. than that they'll die or they'll become. brain activity dead for an activity. night so what we do is we flatline some. of our scientists teams right and in. that 15 minutes they're in heaven and. they hunt down angels to create the. angel wing dust so we shoot down angels.

so you kill angels yes we killed. okay my company just listen sir III dude. let me tell you something sir I was you. gonna stop I wasn't even gonna stop by. this house so why I'm busy I had to go. to the corporate Center and sell my. product to business Jeff Bezos yes you. were selling his product if you're. selling it he wants it I don't know I. haven't decided what I want it Hodgins. but my point is is that you're lucky to. have so let me finish this mm-hmm.

so for 15 minutes my scientists right we. flatline okay and then we we hunt down. angels and then we do with delicately. with the same technology as we do as the. carnivores the Bunsen burners yeah well. yeah and we have a clipping mechanism. called yeah alright Y all right y'all. right clips oh you're right clip yeah. because they're very gentle on the. angels we don't kill the Angels it's. already dead anyway they're dead yeah. okay but we clip there um we clip their. wings right and therefore very small.

angel folks you don't realize how small. angel people think the angels are human. size they're not they're the size of. little fairies sometimes angels are the. size of mosquitoes so they're very. difficult to catch how do you delineate. between an angel and a fairy how do you. know which ones which then well fairies. because I'll tell you why because. fairies live on middle-earth of course. with some sections of the earth of. course right and they're not angels. angels are dead there they live in. heaven but are fairies dead but what. fairies die they turn into the mosquito.

sized angels oh right okay and those. ones we did we capture as well and you. clip the ear we clip the wings mm-hmm. some years mm-hmm right but mostly wings. mostly for the dust and we get the dust. right with the carnivores tree extract. right and the aloe mm-hmm we combine. this ointment called we call green stuff. the green stuff I remember I write and. you just gently inject them in your. calves into my calves yeah you don't rub.

it on the surface okay we stick it a. syringe oh it was inside my yes and the. muscle you inject it okay right now I'll. tell you what in the beginning you won't. feel well I'm gonna be sick no you won't. you won't be able to walk for six months. six months so 1/2 year 1/2 1/2 year I. can't use my leg your calves will. petrify a bit they'll turn actually a. lot of people think that they'll turn. stone now Petric they'll turn into stone.

yep but almost like a hard quartz rock. huh do you ever see the movie or the TV. show um Chernobyl yes those little. quartz rocks they find on the yeah. that's my legs that's what it'll feel. like nobody radiation as well Wow and. people around you might get cancer okay. yeah but it will it make my calves feel. better but in six months yeah tell you. what you'll run like that like that. African American runner Carl Lewis Carl.

Lewis yeah are you a Salesman from 40. years ago. do you mean hussein bolt Hussein bolt. well I run like him okay sir sure there. you go there you go I have not told you. the price Oh mah 4.5 my friends four. dollars and fifty seven point five. million yeah how many injections do I. get one.

so one that's it one injection and in. six months you will run like Usain Bolt. Hussein are you saying or whatever. Hussein well you're not from where you. from Jamaica I'm from Jamaica. yes well I'm from the section of Jamaica. where he is from oh you are yeah. tactile village and in that a village we. call him Hussein because this isn't. common that's the common tongue Hussein. that's right like Saddam much like it. okay yeah much like so for full five. point four million yep four point five.

million and we only receive cash or you. only take cash do we go only take cash. even during the Pandy yeah can I just. venmo you what's usually twelve point. five that's the thing you're giving me a. discount off more than half off yes. percent off yeah well where do I sign up. green stuff here's you and you don't get. it right well I need to cash up front. you know get it right away. well then get it we're still we have two. scientists oh sure it's not you don't. have any heaven right now caching ain't.

no we have some but we sold out. besos besos has all of it desert says. one yeah yeah he paid fifteen million. but you know how have you turned your. Jeff Bezos into a Spanish guy Bezos. yeah before you go can I can I talk to. you about something yeah go ahead you. have to need to sell me mm-hmm. what is it have you ever been introduced. to your Lord and Savior Jesus Christ no. what is that I've never heard of that. you don't know who that is no he's a. wonderful little man is he little he's. very tiny is he a dwarf smaller oh he.

takes away thank me dwarf. well they it's a new name now it's not. called pygmy anymore because that's. offensive to pigs. oh my bad it's called it's called a. muskrat dwarf a muskrat roar flus gret. dwarf. I retain that later you can yes he has. very little sharp pointy ears he hears. and sees everything he takes away all of. your pain and all you. to do today is to commit to me all of. your secrets mmm and I'll take away all. of your pain forever. great so may I give you some secrets. please it would do is there a because. I've seen movies yeah are there booths. are there boots for the secrets is there.

a booth that I can go in where I can. close the door and there's like a little. curtain thing it'll do you know you're. being protected right now by an. invisible booth literally nobody can. hear you within five feet yeah watch. this okay say say to her say you suck. just say it out loud right now you suck. didn't even hear it she didn't hear it. didn't hear you're in a movie you're in. a private booth okay here we go that. tell me your secret alright so in not a. big deal no not about a big deal well ii. yeah yeah I have to just record this on. my phone go ahead in 1997. yeah I decided to become me I got a job.

offer for being a school bus driver in. in Thailand okay yeah and I signed up. applied went to Thailand and the bus. look it wasn't a yellow school bus it. was uh color are they this was a white. it looked like a van like a van with no. windows yes a van with no windows it's a. bad school but I would go to this yeah I. would go and because the kids school. okay yeah and and you think in the jam.

about 60 kids in the back of this van 60. will lay them down like sardines on top. of each other at the crying it doesn't. matter yeah it was a unbeknownst to me a. human trafficking business yes yes for. that uh well once I found out it was one. I quit after that first job okay. yeah well then delivered the kids one. second yeah let's go the grease the.

grease saleman Adam hey uh you know what. I watched all night last night I got a. new show for you guys oh my god what is. it alone oh do you know alone on Netflix. ten people are put out in the middle of. the Arctic in the middle of nowhere. hundreds of miles of miles north in in. northern Canada why in the Arctic Circle. why there are given a hundred days to. survive on their own using ten items and. if they can do it they get a half a. million dollars it's like naked and. afraid' way cooler are they naked no. they got clothes on it's cool.

why does naked and afraid' have to be. about name. because it's because it naked and afraid. first things first your penis gets bit. I'm out I'm going home that's it. the first mosquito yep what I'm gone. wait let me is this oh so this is a. reality show it's real people this is. real it's a documentary it's a docu so. it is yeah oh well then there that's. cool it's awesome you said that there. was a movie no no show a new show listen. I think you said alone. I thought you alone was kind of like a. lost like a scripted show no and then so.

in my head I'm like how is that cooler. then because that's what's real is naked. and afraid but you're saying that alone. is real people real people going out in. the Arctic with clothes yep. ten items of their own they get ten. items and they set to survive a hundred. days through the Arctic winter and it. can they bring their own foods no will. they eat polar bear polar bear blubber. polar Polar Blair blabber what do they. eat well there's all sorts of stuff up. there there's elk there's mountain lion.

there's deer there's a muskrat a guy ate. a muskrat. there's squirrels there's do they bring. their own tents they can bring tarps not. tense so you can make a tent the. difference between a turban - big. difference between a carpet of the house. or you go hey Bobby where do you live a. house but then it turns out to be a. condominium same thing it's not even. remotely close to being the same thing a. tarpon a tent or two different things a. tent is pre-built as a tent a tarp as a. tarp what is a tarp it's just a big. piece of material that you can use in a. million different ways a tent is it it's.

a [ __ ] tent could a tarp turn into a. teepee tent like the back and back and. my boys dead can can't but is the teepee. ten to tent teepees a teepee no they. call them tents at what sometimes no. they don't see Pete sub-tribes do which. ones a maken Omaha kids do yeah yeah. maybe done so what you're saying is is. that they take a tarp they take a tarp. and turn it into it to turn it into a. 1080p. they can start a fire a fire mechanisms. em hmm so they have Flint's you know. firestarter not getting with you one guy. forgot one and he had to do the bow and.

arrow you know the bow thing yeah. didn't work forever no it's so stupid it. was really funny to watch it oh yeah and. he's like my hands yeah I know they. always do that too. yeah because it gets sore from this like. a naked afraid of data they don't have a. flint yet there was always one guy that. goes bro. I've tired. 10,000 fires with a stick and a piece of. bark can't and then when they get out. there I don't know why it's not working. they're higher and the partner just. looking at them like there's like you. [ __ ] yeah it's so I just bring the.

fire starter thing so they can bring ten. things yeah and then they can only. survive off of the land yeah I also love. and they get afraid when like because. everyone gets to choose you know mean a. survival thing. what do you mean like you get a pot I. guess and like you know but then you get. one choice oh yeah you can bring along. writing so one guys like I brought my. machete right and the other partners. like they're like why in case we need to. take noises I'd like to draw some of the.

leaves and when you get a fetch I can. draw the blood yeah I mean like and then. there you have to get upset ya know. everyone's bringing like an ax or a. knife or a machete. I do love making afraid because they. give people PSRs your primitive survival. rate is one six yeah what would yours be. 0.7 0.7 what do you what would yours be. way higher than you out of time you have. no [ __ ] survival skills whatsoever. insane insane alright so you don't have. to very start I don't know start a fire. yup. with a lighter probably in gasoline yeah.

no but what I'm say you could I can. start even a flag dropped you off in the. middle of the Amazon with nothing. mmm-hmm you be able to start a fire. not with nothing no I can't [ __ ] can. no they can't they always have to have. something to start of you need some. something I've seen dudes go I don't. need it cuz I could I have a [ __ ] I. can get a stick and I know how to do it. I know I know what I can't do the smoke. thing I can't within that then either. can I so that that goes against okay but. I okay let's do my points then I'm at. let ik which which helps tremendously. cuz you're gonna do survive longer no.

they don't you have to hunt game how can. you hunt game if you're fat bro a lady. on [ __ ] did too [ __ ] arm naked. afraid's yeah vegetarian no yes to one. lady did the 40-day challenge yeah. vegetarian and she refused to eat any. fish she's dead now. no she's not she's dead now she had. sepsis and died I read that article he. doesn't exist anymore no she did exist. but but now because she has no nutrients. you could just in and out of she floats.

in and out of. Universal University okay I'm also. athletic is a huge thing that not just. cause a big fat is a huge thing I've. seen fatty fat is concentrated into one. area yeah it needed to be spread out. your arms aren't fats on my dick baby. it's on my dick. babe a your dick fat looks like a lava. lamp it's like fat here skinny fat here. fat skinny skinny fat oh my god you look. your penis looks like an anal but you. know what you're [ __ ] if you opened. up Trump's dick and you just took out.

one of his veins is what your dick would. look like okay that's me okay what do. you mean it's a big thick vein no not a. thick vein thick vein look at the tick. yeah Trump's dick look at Trump's dick. right fine. those little dicks those little dicks. but the little veins in the dick that's. what your dick looks like he's got a. bigger dick in his dick she hates this I. know she's so grossed out yeah Rudy I'm. sorry. grossed out by his talk about Trump's. peepee offensive no less yeah I tried to. go bowling yesterday where and they are. closed down in it because the country's.

closing down again I mean you know they. know the cover you I've reopened. what if really oh yeah I've gone to. three raves where up in the [ __ ]. Temecula you would seriously have you. into a rave and three of them I was the. only one there yeah well got mad at me. because I said I've been I've been. really good during the Pandy the only. thing I've been doing is I've been. playing on Craigslist I'm part of this. group and we play tackle football with. strangers in the park and it's no pants. it shirts but no pants is that bad.

people got so mad that like really [ __ ]. like that's your responsibility but it's. just a group of buds yeah and we just. meet up every Sunday. mm-hmm right here Balboa Park and we. just hang out yeah and it snow in spent. you know why it's no pants by the way. because you can't run in jeans it's. impossible to play football in jeans. yeah can I have no pants also we we used. to have a rule where you couldn't tackle. by the dick you can now well people are. mad at me because I do a every Saturday. I do an escape room I do I do an escape.

room where is it what it's over there in. Los Feliz I do an escape room with 100. people you're right it's all my friends. under people right you know them all. right and we were masks when we get. there but in the escape room you can't. because hit the communit. yeah you need to talk you talk like how. did we get into that [ __ ] opening up. there right yeah I hate Raul. you mean right let's solve the problem. this puzzle together have you so fifteen. of us will huddle together and solve it. right and just stare at a little. mechanism and just figure out what what. buttons to press. is it really hot in there super hot so.

you're sweating too crazy yeah yeah and. there's no because it's in the scale. room there's no ventilation. people get so mad about that if I don't. know why but yeah yeah and we it's a one. escape room it took us 12 hours to get. out of yeah right and the last bit of it. is us about 30 of us at a time have to. shimmy yeah in a tube right together. right we get you have to put take your. clothes off as well of course right and. you get the shimmy right and they blow. smoke in there oh right I think it's a.

fire like a [ __ ] it's like a um like. backdraft kind of a theme oh I love that. riser you love bed right so the smoke is. in the II cough right yeah are you. shivering shimmying yeah naked right but. you know we stopped doing it last. Saturday it's over now because of the. you know the hysteria yeah I know I. trust me it's correct it's crazy can I. take you guys to a restaurant that we. went to a new restaurant. it's [ __ ] phenomenal what's it called. it's called mama bird there's no way. you'd have you heard a mama bird do you. guys know about this I just said there's.

no way how no no it's it's delicious. it's so good is it the chicken no mama. bird is like it's like a I take. americana Bistro and what happens is the. chef comes out greets you she takes your. it takes your order as well she. recommends stuff and she cooks it brings. it back to the table and then she chews. it and spits it in your mouth it is the. best restaurants some of the most. delectable none of the nutrients are.

gone you still get all the nutrients. it's so good okay mama bird that's mama. bird Wow so good because apparently the. reason that she choose pre choose it for. you is because is because a lot of times. P do you know how many people choke and. die at restaurants the United States of. America 30,000 Bert wait this restaurant. it's in Arizona right yes it's in. downtown Phoenix. yes go to mama mama bird downtown. Phoenix and her name is Gladys the chef.

and she will chew and spit in your mouth. your food because so many people choke. and die on on in restaurants 30,000 a. year she's cutting that number down to. nothing yeah he can't choke on when it's. pre-chewed pretty cool. Oh what is it yeah it's called the. exotic the exotic yes. what it's a great restaurant what it's a. pretty far it's a little van in China.

yeah oh I love that spot it's called the. exotic and they only serve bats really. yes but what's great about it they cut. they catch bugs get the catch bats. oh they catching that stuff right right. uh-huh. and while they're alive they just they. sliced meat like a sashimi they don't. cook it why would you cook it they boil. it no no need you do it in the belly of. the bat.

it's where the fact that the belly beat. is your maybe fattest you're like total. right like the ROE you just look be. right. wow the best still alive you still like. saying stuff like what does that mean I. don't know okay that's the noise I don't. know if you know but that's the noise a. bat makes oh go to this restaurant and. when you cut open the bats belly it goes. [Music].

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tell you a really weird story about a. choking on food by the way this is so. mean we have a family friend this is so. mean is this real or not sort of god no. this is real okay no more joke alright. his wife from now on let's be real okay. no more no more lies all that stuff okay. go ahead. his wife was eating lunch in his office. right in front of him and choke to death. on a chicken bone that would have died. it was eating chicken wings and died in.

his office came to see her husband for. lunch and died and this this is crazy. and one time someone in my family forgot. his name right mm-hmm and she's trying. to reference him and she's like you know. dad's buddy I'm like I don't know who. you're talking about. and she goes chicken bone no really and. I was like yeah whose wife died from a. chicken bone and it got lodged in her. throat hmm so you know what we don't we.

don't have chicken anymore in our house. this is not a lot. we have a cousin yeah I'm serious but we. bomb seriously yeah and my dad call that. calls us smash why because a [ __ ] was. smashed in a [ __ ] car accident and. died like flattened yeah I should he. didn't know the name so he goes you know. smash good dad you can't afford me I.

made that story metaphor I made this. story up that's a fake story. I'll idea look into the camera and say. it wasn't real it was a real yeah [ __ ]. it car acts and stuff is creepy and. gross I don't know what I did to them I. apologize sometimes I lie about. Jennifer's but sometimes I do deceive. sometimes. the song was good last week huh oh my. god people love this so let's talk about. it you know what's I hate about the. comments what sounds great but when.

Andrew kicks in that's when it becomes. really funny mm-hmm you got another song. you want to play no I'm not doing. another song but I'm just saying you're. not doing it I wrote the music of that. song not that hard yet daddy why you die. Danny why your daddy why do I write the. music yeah you did right I'm the one. that you watch I tell Jules I ask you I. was in the car right like before you got. there cuz you're late and I go you know. trying to compose the you know I mean. yeah and then you come in and you kick.

in with pretty good improv better than. yours. it's true Bob you're better than me. don't be sad you're all better than no. we're not. yeah I get a call the other day mm-hmm. ding ding ring a ling ding ding ring a. ding ding hello it's Mike you know my. agents it ca mm-hmm. you like to play video games I go yeah. and they go well they want you to play.

effects legends and I go what is that. it's a they say it's like war zone but. it's more cartoony yeah there you go. okay and they go you're gonna play with. a bunch of other comedians Ron Funches. love Eric Griffin love you know Jackie. Kashian yeah she's great I love Jackie. um Brian Posehn yeah and maybe some. other they were thinking maybe Sarah. Silverman and I go okay how much you. have to play 11 hours I'll love it. straight yeah why what would be the.

purpose of it streaming it Oh their. lives training at our live streaming. which uh which I think and then you're. playing a a fix legends for 11 hours and. I do that anyway with war zones yeah. that [ __ ] it let's just do it 11 hours. straight yeah but you know what I think. there's breaks like I have to take a. [ __ ] I might take a [ __ ] on break yeah. and then so they'll play me probably. cigarette breaks. Despres yeah they definitely have sigrid. you out of your house which is gonna be.

cool if you're you're filming it on your. computer no in my house they're gonna. dirt coming over to Center install a. bunch of [ __ ] technology Wow I know. if we're able to keep that technology. but that'd be [ __ ] cool it's just. it's a dream situation yet to get paid. you can eat the [ __ ] sleep which is. kind of it we're gonna come over and. just hook up some mechanisms in the bed. you won't even feel it you do get paid. to sleep you should sleep in for the. most of the day you're getting paid for. some of that day from what who's paying.

me everything that you've ever done oh. that is true in the sense we have shadow. money coming shadow money. dude you get checks like you know you. did an El Pollo Loco commercial you know. me and they kind of did a snippet of it. in Brazil here's $10 it's nice little. $10 yeah yeah I mean you get like we're. money I get a couple I have one on the. way from what from the disaster artist. good yeah it's a little money it's not. bad what's the most what's what's up the. biggest residual yeah what's a movie. that you get still get residual checks.

on not movie but I still get checks from. this is us that TV show oh you do I did. the pilot. I still get checks Wow like five years. ago I don't even know what it is now and. it they're bigger than they should be. they're bigger than when I really was in. something right oh it's just a little. get star I want to ask you something. yeah how come you haven't brought up. soccer at all this is a big isn't this. big for soccer right now what do mean. Liverpool won the EPL yeah isn't it. amazing I try to watch I think man you.

played I forgot what they played but I. was watching it and it just because. there's no audience and because there. was a disruption to the season and. because we already knew Liverpool is. gonna win the whole [ __ ] thing. doesn't matter it I was just like I'm. done I want to wait until the EPL starts. again and then I want to see what. happens in the transfer window I also. want to see if there's gonna be actually. an audience probably not and I'm gonna. say that let's talk real for a second. mmm-hmm you know what it regardless if.

you feel like you know we should open. everything up or if you're like me who. thinks that it was a little too soon I I. listen I want to listen to everyone's. perspective everyone has a right to have. their own opinion sure about any issue. right yeah but facts are facts and we. are at a rise right now it's bad in LA. Texas it's bad here we leave the Train. okay so no [ __ ] and saying in Florida. it's bad it's bad in pockets in.

different pockets of the country yeah. and there's no let-up no and when they. say that the world is it could change it. has from now on we don't know now when. comedy clubs are gonna open there's no. way to know probably never all the way. yeah all the way who knows two years. three years four yeah especially in LA I. mean they were thinking that July was. gonna be I know I remember that they. remember what July you like the store. will open to the holiday will be.

yeah yeah and we're not not even close. right yeah so um that's why I like when. they called me for this video game thing. I'm also doing like Howie Mandel called. me and goes hey you know usually you. know he's so proactive yeah he's like. hey I'm doing this other you know I mean. reality show I'm like I'll just do it. what reality show you do is not reality. it was like a game show kind of a thing. you know I mean what is it I don't even. know what it is but it's like with you. Eric stone students the other lady. that's on Modern Family. what's her name Julie Bowen no the.

Hispanic lady Sofia Vergara yes a. vehicle. wait what's her what is it Sofia Gagarin. Sophia he goes yeah it's Sofia Vergara. and Eric Stonestreet for mother family I. go it's just me too and they go yeah and. it's one of those just like game shows. that's fun do you normally I would be. like I would like not do it mm well I. would ignore his call maybe I love Howie. Mandel but every time it's something. it's a business thing but but isn't that.

good if so I have no idea. yeah you jo koy you know Santino you're. naked you're in a bucket yes yes yes. score points yes yes in the Eva Longoria. Hong Kong right from Modern Family right. they're judging you but they're doing. accents you have to pretend what they're. saying you have to figure it out. hi Mia the audience choose and it's. always something like that and I'm. always writing notes. okay Puckett Santino right and I'll see.

you a week later and I won't understand. the notes you know say bucket Santino. evil uncle got it and it'll say proud. and points yeah I have no idea what the. [ __ ] that is right so it's always I love. him yeah I know all those old school. guys I have to say out of all those old. school guys you know I love Louie. Anderson Louie is you know Louie come on. yeah he's the best. honestly yeah his role in baskets was. one of the coolest things I've ever seen. him out he was so funny as Zach's mom. but let me take it back one step out the.

reason I respect guys like that like. Howie's work ethic like you're talking. about you're talking about a guy who's. been in the game for so [ __ ] long am. done so much. Jesus Holly you're Bobby's world I know. was what just so good was. so was so unique for a guy to do like. that that was a stand-up that could do. ten different other things that was. pretty incredible there is also a kid in. me that's like I remember when I was I. think in middle school and I was. watching HBO or something and I was a. kid and I remember watching like Howie.

Mandel like a young comedian special or. yeah like that and he was you know I. mean yeah I got a black head he would. pick up a black mannequin head and stick. it on his face. and I remember like as a kid just cut. crying yeah right and then it's just. like how does it sound cheesy but you. know so when he calls right there is. that kid inside me yeah he goes there's. that guy that I watched you know I mean. there's I thought it was so he was so. great and then um I loved also um.

dice too because I just kind of grew up. watching him well they they reconnect. with a point of your childhood yeah. that's like so like that makes you feel. so happy like dude when I worked with. Jim Carrey on the Showtime show we were. having drinks in dinner one night yeah. and I'll never forget in the middle of. him talking yeah I was like just buzzed. enough where I was watching his lips and. I was watching his lips and it looked. like he was doing the Ace Ventura mouth. you know like yeah and it like. reinvigorates that that memory from your. brain as a kid it is weird - it's weird.

when you yeah that's where when you get. to work or befriend people that you love. that you loved when I mean you're so. intimidated by him that remember when. they were like doing audition I'll just. he came to the comedy store yeah I see. people perform I was on the lineup know. I know it so it showed me and he came. out to me and he goes hey buddy [ __ ]. hilarious. right and when you sink you change yeah.

yeah and then when it's his funeral in. Mitch's funeral I so al Madrigal goes. you know everyone's there right yeah so. al Madrigal goes on hey man let's just. sit over here to the side but for some. reason when we sat down like all the. cool comics sat with us mm-hmm so first. bill burr right and a couple of other. people and then Jim Carrey walks and. there's a gap between me bill burn a. bunch of people do. Carrie sits right next to me right and.

he takes his hand and he puts it on my. back. it kind of just rubs it oh nice and I'm. just like oh this guy is so [ __ ] cool. he's very connect is that really a. really cool connective Connor you can. tell he he you could tell he's very in. the moment he's very present yeah yeah I. embarrassed myself when I asked him one.

time I said Jim where do you uh where. you living now. yeah yeah why yeah and he was like um. I'm kind of everywhere man and I was. like no asking a billionaire I live you. ask that wherever they need to live yes. he can live here he can live there. mm-hmm he can live [ __ ] he can live. in LA for half the year you can live in. Canada for half of the year yeah it's. funny nerve I get nervous like a lot.

socially I don't know what to say. well it's also cuz you worse I think you. can I get nervous around people that I. really respect yeah it doesn't matter if. you're famous yeah if I respect your. work and I know that you've done stuff. that I'm like wow you're very good at. something yeah whatever it is musicians. athletes you know someone that's just. anybody who's great at something I'm. always like I don't know what I'm. supposed to say to you cuz I know they. don't want to talk a lot yeah there's. some guy that's like hey dunk a. basketball LeBron and he's like yeah and. you're like basketball the Brawn what am.

I supposed to there is we don't have. anything in common or when you're. sometimes what happens is when you're on. a TV show hmm. and sometimes it like an actor will. direct oh yeah that happens a lot Fred. Savage directed me a few times right so. when I was on splitting up together I. just show up on set on a Monday and I. realize I go I know this director it was. Helen Hunt. shut up no I'm like a wild and so I. walked up to where I go I love twister I. don't why you love the [ __ ] tornado.

I love twister how stupid yeah that was. a tough job like yeah I've done a lot of. moms yeah and for some reason like I. would like she was a little distant well. after the twister comment yeah no yeah. yeah she was very distant to me right. and then like got to the point where her.

notes would just just say it faster or. whatever it might be didn't want to talk. but then what happened was she took my. so she I guess one of the producers Greg. who's a friend of mine right um had his. office and I'm just I had the kind of. relationship where I could just walk in. sure right so but she had he had told. her you could just have my office while. you're working here so I just barge into. his office like what's that and she's.

sitting there with her assistant and. they're on the computer and they're on a. conference call and they're taking notes. and they're really serious and I go like. I had to switch it like improvise cuz. Greg was there yeah and your mind she's. like I'm working get out okay I'm Bobby. yeah yeah oh my god working I'm Bobby. turn get out it was terrible yeah those.

moments are only because you're when you. respect someone you feel you feel stupid. you wouldn't feel stupid if you didn't. really care yeah if it was just a. regular nobody that you're like I don't. [ __ ] know it's fine I'll just feel. like oh my bad sorry I made a mistake. yeah it's when you respect someone you. feel foolish when you make a stupid. mistake like that one of my dreams is. this is like if I ever die that's it. there is a heaven if you ever die your. diet but if I die when I die and my. brother dies yeah. and we're in heaven hmm what am i. dream'd this is never gonna happen but.

maybe i would love to go to God or. whoever is in charge or pop but there's. probably like a point person but there's. a committee or there's probably somebody. that's designated for like an angel. that's designated to you yeah you don't. get a direct line to God. hey Zeus right and you go on I wouldn't. want to go hey is there any way that I. can look at my brother's best of tape. what do you mean like all his just. awkward mishaps yeah it comes out yeah. just a compilation over the years and my.

brother and I just want to sit there and. watch it mm-hmm I know that my brother. and I yeah well laughs so [ __ ] hard. hmm. and then my brother would say the same. I'm gonna see Bobby's best of tape. yeah just all the awkward all the [ __ ]. up saw the gun from moments how he tried. to like your blue the wheel yeah. [Music].

pockets and I'll tell you something uh. you know who raised me Andrew uh wolves. no my cousin Paul oh I have a cousin by. the name of Paul Troy Oh Kurosawa films. he taught me about The Velvet. Underground this is back in the 80s love. and he raised me and so about a year ago. I was at that he lives in Oregon he I. was at the helium comedy club yeah and. he came and he said he invented. something yep he invented this thing.

called pockets dancin looking a cool. that is yeah an amplify sound amplified. sound right and it's designed and he. worked very hard in this and what it is. it's a soft plastic but it fits. perfectly around your own it's nice and. it's snug and you you can watch movies. and the sound is great there's a little. pocket here where sound comes out yeah. and take it with you where you go you. can take it on airplanes and and. normally they're ten dollars but we're. selling it here seven dollar seven. [ __ ] dog for the bedroom with the. man's promotion comes in a variety of.

colors. tons of colors it comes in teal and blue. and green and black and peach like BA. because she's a sweet little PA yeah and. this is uh this is the future people. this is the future go grab one of these. bands lock pins go to Pakistan calm use. the bad friends promotion because you'll. get 30% off and free shipping they'll. send it to your house it's only seven. bucks come on man help out the Bobby Lee. fam right yes my family is my first. cousin help out you mean the bad friends. family and friends family pockets tan. calm and pay Lonnie is really [ __ ].

cool - I'm proud of them dude this is. amazing. way to go Paul we love you bud and calm. baby I wish we all got to see our own. blooper reel to just laugh at like right. before you die if you saw all the. dumbest dumb [ __ ] that you've ever done. yeah. like what like like you want to talk. about it here I'll just remember an. embarrassing moment the other day. yeah because we were when we were. watching a loan yeah the guy almost fell. into the fire that he made yeah right. and it brought me back immediately to. when we were camping in we're in. northern Illinois or Wisconsin somewhere. right there was a girl I was probably in. junior high there was a girl that I was. had a huge crush on okay and everyone is.

like goofing around by the fire and it's. getting late and we're all young dumb. teenagers and people are like jumping. over the fire or throwing stuff in it to. make it get bigger. you know but you know I mean well it's. like just to get it lit up or throw. kerosene in or something yeah and I and. this girl was there and I was like I can. jump from like outside of the rocks all. the way across like it was it was a. bigger gap. I'm not kidding at all okay the parents. are like inside the house whoever we're. with yeah and I'm trying to show off.

this girl and I'm like no I can [ __ ]. dude I jump and my foot hits the rock. one of the rocks outside and I faceplant. into the fire into the fire yeah. luckily I'm I roll out as fast as I can. everyone is diamine dying laughing. no one's concerned no one's everyone. what's happened to you. no I was fine just I was the biggest. [ __ ] loser for the rest of time. everyone laughed nobody tried to help me. I would have burned to death and they. would have laughed the whole [ __ ]. time yeah because I thought I was gonna.

be cool in front of the girl to jump. over the fire yeah like I'm more of them. yeah is that impressive when boys try to. you know when boys try to do dumb stuff. to show off yeah yeah boys do that. they're like when you're younger right. like low like 12 13 year old boys you. think you're cool and you want to do. something like that and then for the. rest of time right for the rest of time. you're like that guy's a loser right. yeah see that's what's at a restaurant. see years ago and I was at a restaurant. I was by myself yeah and this beautiful. this is a waiver for kalila mm-hmm this. beautiful group I don't know why I. remember this because it was so.

embarrassing yeah so this girl walks in. and she looks right at me and she goes. hey like that so I go I do a silly high. they go like I do a finger everybody the. fans you hey yeah yeah like I know you. you mean yeah and it's one of those. situations where she was obviously. waving to somebody in back of me alright. so I do this and I turn around and. there's a guy that stands up.

hey or whatever I'm standing like this. right but in my mind right I go I'm. going to pretend someone's behind her so. I got and she looks at me I go no not. you right but there was no one I was no. one behind. tuturro there was literally no one. behind her so I was like. there's a ghost you guys are gonna do. cheese like that poor schizophrenic. asian boy I looked so crazy because not.

only did I do that but I like that and. there's no oh God hey me no you her yeah. but now when people wave to me even if I. know them you know what if I know them I. don't do or thing right away. why just I just go you get nervous. there's been 10 times in my life that. that's happened where because also when.

you get maybe I'm narcissistic uh-huh. but especially when you're a comedian. yeah because people come up to you all. right you're right you're at a star. bottle often will supply of buying a. weird job dude I'm fan of your podcast. or Mad TV or whatever I might be a. writer and I'm cool about it go thanks. dude or whatever right but I'm sick. sometimes so people will just go smile. at you and you don't wanna be rude so. you smile back but yet what you do ya. know I smile back yeah yeah I smile back. you have to you have to smile back but. if if it now I'm a little more your.

weary no if they smile I'll just yeah. there is an awareness have you ever had. it where you somebody knows who you are. be at like a coffee shop or a place you. go to all the time and you don't know. their name you know when you go enough. oh yeah and you don't know their name oh. yeah yeah and it feels really bad when. they're like err I Bobby take it easy. man and I'm there all the time. no because I'm there all the bad about. that [ __ ] I say what thanks dude you. could say I should know his name no you.

don't know I see him every day do you. know his name now yeah it's probably no. II did he hears this next time I go in. he's like what yeah what do you want my. brother worked at us a [ __ ] coffee. bean on sent Sunset Boulevard and. Ardmore oh yeah I know yeah I think our. no Las Palmas yeah so las yeah I know. though yeah yeah Hollywood yeah. Hollywood right and he used to work with. this guy named Donny [ __ ] Donny Donny.

right Donny would always like [ __ ]. drop names. like famous people yeah that's huge for. that guy oh my god it's big for Don I. hate this town. no you don't love this town do you own.

this town I met [ __ ] Raul Jenkins. dude it was the stunt man for the. Nickelodeon show blue wave man hey. you're like oh [ __ ] this town no it's. fun it's great no it's really frightful. I love it you do love it here. mmm what are you looking at you looking. at your texts massages yeah man you're a. busy guy you're blowing up lately man. you got new video game contracts dude. you have a game show you got video game.

contracts you're killing it what aren't. you doing what's next for Bobby Lee huh. a memoir you know why I don't take that. serious could you ever write you could. you want too much I don't yeah you do it. you you're ever you're sarcastic no not. yet you're not you because you know that. you're on Davey you know right yeah yeah. you know you've done you know the. disaster artist stop it I mean I make. funny gig feature films mm-hmm you mean. like I you know what I was really hurt I.

was so disappointed when they didn't. [ __ ] nominate you for the sisters you. gots money yeah I really I called my. agent I called the Academy I go how can. you not huh the acting mm-hmm did you. know what you know what you were better. that you're a better that when Bryan. Callen was in the Joker he was really. good in the jail he was so good in the. Joker hey how many weeks are left on. your game show a couple more weeks.

are you watching no why not why it's so. good. no you're being sarcastic I've seen I've. seen every episode what what did i do. last week oh my god with the. what I do less I know you did what the. the one where you eat the bugs where you. know about what that was the first. episode Oh was yeah how'd it feels like. it was last week no oh no last week was. the tournament of the tournament at all. the time. you don't watch it I do watch it what I. what maybe one activity I did last week.

cuz I know what I did last week you ran. in you ran up the dollar didn't you run. the gauntlet wait you ran the guy I. watched it you ran the Garlin no no wait. what did you do last week here's the. thing you don't watch any of my [ __ ] I. don't watch any of your [ __ ]. that's the truth because we don't that's. not true I watch love we know each other. not from that yeah I know that's true we. I saw you when you were like a young. comic yep and I remember me and uh. what's-his-name saw you. yeah yeah how's Leonard crowing he's.

gone he's in the neighbor's yard is he. dead now no you don't check in do you. not check in on Leonard Cohen no we. checked in but then we didn't saw him oh. no so he's dead for sure he's dead right. there's literally no chance he couldn't. be dead it pissed me off too it's like. she is the poop cell on your patio yeah. but when the crow left right I go um all. right guys I'm gonna go sweep up the the. balcony no one helped me and I spent.

hours out there sweeping you know I mean. trying to get you the [ __ ] [ __ ] it's. it's still [ __ ] all over the place you. gotta use a hose I know I understand. that but it's like not that I can love. crows I love and Amelia oh my god they. don't want to hear that what what was. that I don't know was it before it it. was a fart like oh yeah like a fart came. out of your mouth I don't I haven't. eaten all day dude. why because I woke up at 2:45 and I.

realized holy [ __ ] I have bad friends. today and so Jules was like what were. you reading something she was reading a. book on the couch. and I go let's go okay why don't why. don't you just make a we have non prep. why don't you have a me ate already. I'm not eating I don't you know what I'm. gonna get I'm gonna get an acai bowl. delivered that's not food. it is I say you bulls like a hundred. calories I'll say it builds our site who.

is it. nobody you remember him I love him. hi sweetheart oh hey you're on the potty. ovulating you're on the BOD Kelly how. are you remember you did that movie and. you made me audition I am doing my.

Batman did he get the part no I didn't. do it huh were you in the movie I was. yeah. Nick did you make did you did you make. me audition Nick I know but I want to. ask Nick I love you so much but did Nick. didn't it did did Andrew sent you to. audition for your movie No uh-huh but. he's my best friend and I wrote the. report him that's right okay what was.

the what was Bobby going in for remember. who got it who got it was it Adam loss. next thing think it was that I'm what. may be one of the funniest people on. earth he's on a show corporate on Comedy. Central he's so [ __ ] funny I think. he's bigger than me but he's skinny no. oh no God your network I see you're a. game show guy now you're yeah if I would.

have read for it would I got it yeah. dude oh you should have auditioned. what's up that goes I love you hey I was. just kidding. no jokes on me because the movie didn't. do great do you know any of any of the. sales numbers of the film no I think we. came close to getting their money back. which that's good let's promote the. movie what's it what is the movie called. Nick little Babel [ __ ] little [ __ ].

can they get it on iTunes Nick Amazon. right I filmed an Amazon Bunny. we have a very big audience. here I love Nick Nick and I've worked. with Nick before yeah he's awesome he's. one of my love he's one of my favorite. people no I love you you're so right. I was not watching the Father's Day. thought oh yeah oh yeah yeah hey hey who. had a better verse Bobby or me I love. you a little bit just a little bit just.

a little bit right on iTunes and [ __ ]. Amazon Nick is my boy and then you know. what dude next time you do a movie I. will read for it. I'll read for it next time next time. okay don't worry I won't get another. movie yes you to get another [ __ ]. you're so [ __ ] talented yes you will. you're a [ __ ] talented [ __ ]. all right Nicholas want me to call you. I'll call you later I'll call you after. a b-girl Oh baby. what a good guy he [ __ ] made me read.

yeah. he told me he was gonna make you read. yeah he goes I don't because you know. because that what tells me that he's and. that he thinks that I can't act no it's. not that he doesn't think that you can. act he knows you can act I think he. didn't know if you could do that. character ah yeah well it was the. character was a blind black guy in a. wheelchair oh yeah I had to read there's. a way that's very difficult there's no. way yeah I was gonna do a show that.

where they said that I had to be in a. wheelchair yeah and I was like I don't. think I want to do that if I got a movie. deal Yeah right and I I wrote a part. yeah right I'm casting it mm-hmm. and I I gave an offer to Theo von yeah. man right and Alfred one to Bryan Callen. but then your agents here you have to. read it's a yeah do you mean if you gave. roles other people would you read for. you would you read for me no no no. chance so why is it that I have to read.

for him because you're because you're a. wild card we don't know where you're. coming with you know you're gonna read. from me cuz you said that you have to. read from me no yeah you're my friend. but you understand how that feels off I. know but I wouldn't make you read I. think you would know I want a wild card. you are a [ __ ] wild card yeah. but I wouldn't make you read but I would. [ __ ] with you a lot on the set of. something without a doubt I give you. wrong call times you'd show up way too. early because I know you'd be late right.

I'd make sure that you only had access. to certain amounts of food certain kinds. of food certain amounts of food right. what do you think I just need [ __ ]. and I would have gone and I would have a. translator for you on set because no one. can understand you oh my god just. speaking of translator hmm you know Neal. Neal Brennan directed a movie called was. with Will Farrell produced it it was at. but the cars Jeremy Piven Piven right. yeah this car salesman he gave the part. to dr. ken but anyone who auditioned for.

that. yes oh man and he got it over you yeah. yeah I know and I give him [ __ ] about. every time I see him I'm being genuine. you didn't audition for The Hangover. right no they wouldn't see me God how. would have been crazy for you ha no we. wouldn't been doing this show you'd be. so big you'd be doing it with somebody. bigger I shut the [ __ ] up anyway like. Joel McHale I remember being in the. audition though yeah and doing a pack I. did it I did a hole I did a scene couple. scenes yes Neil gets up from I swear to.

God he does this he gets up from [ __ ]. you know made the couch or whatever and. there's probably eight people in the. room mm-hmm he he comes to me and. whispers this is what he whispers and. now he wasn't even kidding no one can. understand what you're saying why I have. no idea you're mumbling I don't know I. thought I did it good but because no one. can understand what you're saying how do.

you take that note speak up. no I did I did I did it again and then I. thank you yeah you're probably mumbling. now was it [ __ ] mumbling in my mumble. now I knew mum in a business they call. you the month with the bubbles yeah I do. I mumble I do mumble little bit. sometimes you mumble your way through. words or you say words so incorrectly. that it might sound like a mumble yeah. but I do that purposely for comedy huh. I got it is Panda Express bad for you. number one is it the best Chinese food. I've ever had no no number two PF Changs.

is oh it's the number one PF Changs is. so good so authentic Chinese the lettuce. cups. dude if you [ __ ] went to the most. Ching chongs town in China yeah what is. it is right and you opened up a PF. Changs they would be like oh my guy this. is it this is high quality you'd close. down all the way who is PF I want to. meet him. do you know who PF is Paul Frank the. clothing designer yes he owns that I. know Paul Frank Tom Frank Qian Qiang. Qiang that was his name yeah he made.

shirts and let us come yeah he did he. was good yeah Paul Frank Chang nobodies. but I but one don't eat Panda Express. you know what I love [ __ ] uh you know. what here's that my qualms about Panda. Express everything it's bad it's gross. no there's a couple of good things in. there mm-hm and they have their eggplant. so if you live in the Midwest. and you might not offer this but in some.

cities they they do is you have a select. menu of panel there are some cities that. have eggplant tofu eggplant tofu yeah. fried egg but what I hate about eggplant. tofu is people don't get it right so. it's like well you'll go to a pen. Express and it'll say eggplant tofu you. know gets the window yeah but there's. nothing in it and you go give me a plan. tofu and then they get angry because it. that they have to make it say they. always have to go oh why didn't the.

turns ago the chefs are like we have to. go get that [ __ ] in the back cuz no one. orders yes so they have to get the. [ __ ] eggplant and the tofu and you. can see them making it and not good they. don't cook it all the way and they just. [ __ ] you know I mean there it is. that's their slogan PF Panda Express. it's not cooked all the way the eggplant. over should be served in every [ __ ]. PF Changs Huey do you eat that extra and. Express do you like it yeah she likes it.

what just get just go to a mom-and-pop. Chinese place which one all of them. century dragon high hot high hot dragon. yeah um you know I want to I'm gonna. maybe we should get chin Chin's. chin chin a Lexington it's okay okay. yeah it's yeah no we're gonna go panda. again I also could. just say something I love Jersey Mike's. you do my bad. no I like it's fine it's a sub it's a. sub above its it better than [ __ ]. subway no I don't you know I need that.

stuff. what are you all really [ __ ] you're. so [ __ ] snooty dude mm-hmm why you. you have your own like meat cutting in. my hunting I have a meat slicing machine. in my house oh my god and then I say to. myself I hold it up and I go is that. thin enough sir and I go do you do any. fast food uh yeah I do fast food I just. don't like sub sandwiches fast food I. like I like a deli a mom-and-pop deli. that makes sandwiches mm-hmm. fast food for me my vice would be I [ __ ].

with a McFlurry I McDonald's it will. forever be a place in my heart. McDonald's its McDonald fist pump it's. the best and off with that [ __ ] does it. sit I don't give a [ __ ] it gives me. [ __ ] colon cancer I will [ __ ] does. it give you colon cancer whatever oh. you're you're [ __ ] betcha petrified. from eating too many Egg McMuffins are. they is there McDonald's nearby yeah. that's what that's it let's unclog that. mo time visit is it before 10:30 it's. all day now now it's all day yeah. remember before it was 10:30. yeah there's and you don't know about.

that did 10:15 your traffic and right. and you're like because cuz you and then. when you get there at 10:35 and they're. like sorry we switched over we switched. yeah yeah it's you have the material no. it's just I hate it. no but I'll fast food it I'll fast food. it but but but but I will say all the. options that we have around us there's. so many better burgers I'd rather go get. that burger Shake Shack.

it is a good [ __ ] burger it's a good. [ __ ] bar it's a pretty good place. it's very good yeah but but also but but. yeah but but but but but most of the. time most fast food I don't really I'm. not really I don't crave it mmm like I. don't crave Taco Bell oh my god could I. tell you we live in Southern California. when they first announced the Mexican. pizza did you know that I drove a. hundred miles together. why isn't there like on every corner but.

they they announced it but like we're. Mexican. Pizza and the in my area they didn't. have it where was this in San Diego or. something or when you were up here. yeah with San Diego oh so I think I. drove like to Irvine just to get a. Mexican pizza was it worth it no no a. taco but flat it's not it's not good no. it's not but you know what what's your. fast-food Rudy what you don't know.

Jollibee it's a Oh jolly be jolly be. right. I've lumped jolly be in the same. category as like Wiener schnitzel yeah. places I don't go yah Weiner schnitzel. you don't [ __ ] witness this is one of my. favorites ha you're no bun that's obonda. those are two words pretzel bun know why. I love pretzel bun. why because they don't it's like a. thicker boat yeah you know how you.

sometimes you see you like your nickname. now is a thicker boat yeah I love. thicker boats because you oh yeah you're. Chicago Doug yeah you go to a [ __ ]. ball game you get a [ __ ] you get that. [ __ ] weak-ass steamed bun it's. delicious and the chili seeps through it. and it gets destroyed in [ __ ] three. minutes for someone we both kill II dog. is in a half years they hold up yeah. that's not good it's good for your. stomach no it's not delete it so. Jollibee is your favorite route yeah. what do you get what do you get there.

[Music]. this place serves Italian and then just. chicken Filipino restaurant that's you I. wouldn't consider it spaghetti it's not. Filipino is with some sort of let you. know me suspects always why did you say. it's a Filipino place it's not a problem. charlie beers yeah and so what do you. mean they just do a plate of spaghetti.

what is this place any it's everything. it's burgers spaghetti yeah chicken. salmon empanada can you get an empanada. there yeah yeah that's you know you. never eat at a [ __ ]. restaurant that has has three different. [ __ ] spaghetti empanadas and a burger. ya know that's your favorite jollibee. what else nothing else is that the one. you like the most yeah everybody what's.

your order of McDonald's check-in again. he loves chicken chicken nuggets [ __ ] up. a chicken yeah I like chicken nuggets. too but I want everyone listening to me. hear this if you go to Taco Bell there. is something on the menu. that's not on the menu hmm but that you. can order and they have to make it for. you. what is it call gets one of the original. things that talk about made it's called. the insure ito enchirito right but it's. not on the menu. but they have the ingredients for it.

they're just hiding it no they just go. it's one of those things when I tell. them to make that [ __ ] egg black tofu. huh where they go and they have to make. it the enchirito yeah what is it a black. [ __ ] box it's like a black plate. really yeah a plastic black page are you. [ __ ] with me right it's called an. Torito okay basically what it is it it's. [ __ ] a bean burrito with inch with. enchilada sauce on it or whatever the. red sauce is a bean and cheese burrito.

with red sauce yeah that sounds so good. right and you have to eat it with a. [ __ ] spork because they have sporks. there yeah so what I do is I get the. answer you know and I'll just [ __ ]. front fire sauce on it yeah it's pretty. [ __ ] good man. maybe I'll go get your Stan enchirito. get in that tree no dude she might not. make it for you why because I look like. this baby why would you get it and I. wouldn't get it because they'll probably. denied they deny it at first domain let. them in you make the entry though is. there a secret password what you go make.

it. oh this [ __ ] make it you just flick. them off and they make it for you yeah. yeah well we don't want to promote. people flicking off people at Taco Bell. no please don't do that but fast food is. um best food it's a good thing I I love. it I don't fight I don't I don't I don't. eat it all the time but I I know if you. don't hide it if it's a daily thing. that's probably not good for it's not. good for you but it's good I've been in. Amer in an emergency before like. mando - I'll go by and not eat any fast.

food but like you know you have to be. somewhere at six yeah it's five o'clock. yeah you've been working all day like. meetings or auditions or whatever and. you're getting that headache oh I know. that I know you tried that sugar head. Atlanta right now I have a headache cuz. I haven't eaten all day. right yeah and thank you for being a bad. friend are you tired of baking cabs from. line-dancing rock climbing or karate. try green stuff our scientifically. patented formula combines the.

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