Bobo's Big Head and Rudy Wins an Oscar! | Ep 30 | Bad Friends

you two are bad friends who are these. two idiots a white dude and an Asian. dude you two are. disgusting you two or something we're. bad friends so um I would like to open. up this podcast by saying I appreciate. you me yeah I think that I think that I. honestly know I you know I've been. thinking about you laying in bed when I. lay in bed kala's asleep usually and I. just kind of lay in bed and I think. about you.

and I get warm fuzzies and I think to. myself what a lucky guy I am well I'm. lucky to have you as a friend yeah I'm. lucky to have you um to work with you. because you're one of the top comedy. talents that I could I it's like a if I. had a wish list of the best people I. could do it with you be in the top of. the list I'm very lucky in that way uh. we have great chemistry I just am. blessed to have you in my life and um I. just think that you're a great guy man I. love you Bob I love you too man I love.

you too and um you know I think that. you're just so talented you know what's. great about you as well yeah is you are. um you're. handsome huh you're a good-looking guy. as well where's this going nowhere this. genuine yeah you know what dude it's no. honestly dude bro I've just had a. rebirth man really you feel yeah and I. have other things I want to say I want. to say the Jews oh wow are you done with.

me there's so much I can say no I just. want to say thank you not only that I. just think that um your wife is a super. it's like a superb human yeah like she. was made you know almost perfectly yes. yeah you both were thank you and I think. that you come from great stock Bobby no. I really your parents dude I don't know. much about them yeah even your OG dad. you know I'm sure he was crazy and. violent and whatnot yeah but I'm sure. that he is just um to legit genetically.

one Too Legit to Quit one of the. greatest yeah well can I say something. about you please you are by far my. favorite comedian thank you sorry my. favorite Korean. comedian okay I take that I you know. what I take it and I mean that and I. think it's great name another Korean. comedian that's as good as you Ken. Jong [ __ ] yeah I didn't think about but. yeah all right you know you're probably. making listen to a bit but.

toere let me be sincere all right you're. one of the most talented people I've. ever known in my entire life appreciate. it I love you uhhuh I'm so happy that. we're doing this show together there's. only one problem with this show. what yeah is Rudy I know and um she's so. spoiled and I told you guys in the. parking lot she got a gift someone sent. you an amazing gift and I don't know if. you deserve it and Bobby actually said. don't give it to her yeah but can I just. finish my thing or no may may I because. I want to move on from it.

okay I do I want I want to say what my. piece I want to move on from it before. you say anything are you are you still. smoking or no I've gone to three a day. it worked it's working it's working yes. it's working feels good I feel great I. feel great about life and I feel good do. you feel better genuinely I do and I. feel like breathing let me hear you. breathe into the mic feels great sounds. good uh-huh um Jules you know um if I. had a daughter I probably would want you. as my daughter I think that you are.

um what a great lady mhm she um cleans. vomit cat vomit she does yeah she does. and you do it perfectly you she does she. I I love your animation your anime um. likes. animation anime like you you've. recommended me some I love them all yeah. I think that you're pure at heart um. Andreas you're um you're better looking. than pu uh you're better looking than. puol who's puol he was a defend you know. puol yeah he's a Defender for.

Barcelona I think that you're uh you. move like uh Iniesta you another another. [ __ ] soccer player soer I think that. um when I smell you I don't smell you. know nasty. beans fancy beans I smell fancy beans I. think you're a great guy George if. you're listening you're one of my. favorite people in the world world yeah. I really do and I'll tell you why I'm. doing this and I'll tell you why there's. an explanation to all this you know I'm. tell.

um you know I got. a sometimes I go on the Graham mhm I go. on the Graham yeah what was on the gram. and. um you know this guy just you know I. don't you know I get a lot of um direct. messages you know and. um God you're such a massive [ __ ] to. Santino that's the first sentence that. CES out of it is that what he said yeah. God you're such a massive C stina you. have all these ball gaggling Copans. around you that validate your shitty.

Behavior are you 50 [ __ ] years old. and he leaves it at that you're 49 48 48. yeah and you go it's not a Saar anymore. dude it's just. bullying and you know what usually I. don't know this guy but you know. I I went at first I was in a rage when I. read. it I threw the phone this [ __ ] son of. a can I see it I want to see his name. yeah I want to see his profile don't say. his name of course not no Need No need. no need yeah no need so no need but I.

want to see his profile yeah look at his. profile so I can thank him no yeah so um. and you know when I got that message I I. did some introspection yeah and I. thought to myself um this guy has a. point um what a piece of [ __ ] I. am and I need to be better around the. people around me because the people. around me love and they don't need my. toxic poisonous you know words to hurt. them and slash them down every day.

you know I need to be more uplifting and. so for the rest of this podcast my. friend I am going to approach it right. as a Christian I am going to approach it. in the purest form I can I'm not going. to degrade anybody okay I'm not going to. make fun of anybody I'm just going to be. Mr positive okay and I think that that's. going to be my new route in life I Found. A New Path you know so um but okay let. me let me ask two things one this guy is. a fan of you obviously right sure and.

thank you for being. one but he's obviously a fan I love him. so maybe he's taking it too serious when. we joke around with each other I. appreciate the um the notes and I. appreciate your criticism and I took it. to heart thank you friend you took it to. heart yeah well I'll say this I love you. to death love you you're the greatest. guy I've ever met okay this is not it's. working but can I tell you what you said. can can I say what you said after that.

no don't read my response well no you he. said are you I don't read my response. well he said are you 50 years old years. old yeah effing I say I say effing now. I'm changing I don't use the f- word. anymore yeah yeah uh and you said 48. yeah you just wrote 48 that's what I. read it's not satar anymore dude it's. just bullying I get unsubscribed yada. yada. yada what is he saying there oh he's. going to unsubscribe from us yeah from. our show yeah huh he's defending me but.

he doesn't want to see us together. anymore yeah he just want to he wants to. break it up he wants to break us up yeah. no I I think that he just doesn't find. um the way I approach the podcast is um. positive and he thinks it's he later. says that whatever everything I say is. cringeworthy so um and I really took it. to heart so I I don't want to say. cringeworthy things and I want to change. I'm getting too old to be combative and. being I'm just think I feel like I'm too. mean this is positive I guess so I want.

to be positive and I want to change my. stuff so U I think this podcast is going. to be completely just positive for me. and I'm not going to say anything. negative and I love the way you Bobble. your head it's cute I really do um I. have to say this that I saw the. documentary you recommended which one. John and Aliens John talks to John tries. to talk to aliens how fun was. that you didn't like it I mean um I wish. I could get the 17 minutes back it's 17.

minutes it's hard to do this positive. but um this is what that guy was talking. about I know I know I know this is what. the guy's talking about so let me just. uh the reason there's a beautiful love. story I think the love is good you know. it's another bad you know it's another. bad uh documentary you shouldn't watch. and I mean it what Netflix is U uh I am. a murderer released it's about a guy. that had a life sentence he did 30 years. and then Texas overturned his death. sentence and he got released and I'm. thinking this is going to be good they. introduced this woman he goes to live.

with this woman he calls mama and I. think they're sleeping with each other. and I think right away well I want to. watch it so don't give it away I'm not. going to but I think right away with. this woman he goes to live with what do. you think he's gonna kill her I'm like. he's got to kill her or does. he does he nothing fun nothing fun. happens nothing no oh nothing happens. it's not worth watching no I texted netf. I emailed Netflix what is what is this. what can we go back to John go back to. John yeah yeah um so um I found it. watching and I go this is very.

interesting you know this documentary. right and it's about a guy right who um. he no let's start with uh let's start. with he had a traumatic childhood yes. and um he was I gets beaten by his. parents they were drug addicts or what. think by everybody yeah yeah yeah and. his grandparents I love grandparents. like this by the way so nice they go. well um I'm going to take you out of. this toxic situation and we're going to. raise you ourselves yeah and then so at.

that point I think that's when I lost me. and he you know and then John goes um um. can I talk to aliens and they were like. what do you mean kiddo I just can I have. a half a million dollars so I can buy. the equipment and they're like well. we've been saving all of our Lives yeah. and then so they what they do is they. they're sitting in their living room and. this piece of [ __ ] starts building you. know what I mean you know he takes over. the whole house he takes over the whole. house building all this equipment to the. aliens you know and I just think that it.

would have been a little better that if. the grandparents said uh half a million. dollars and he goes yeah and they said. NASA we they do. it they have it yeah but he wants to be. no no no no no they have it they talk to. aliens they've been up there yeah but in. 1977 they launched the Voyager 2 which. reached what they all the planets it. went circul all the planet all the. planets that's insane in our solar. system yeah they went to Venus they saw. the the off moons as well they didn't go. to all of them yes they did they took.

they used the rotation of the my point. is is that can you name the planets yeah. Mercury very good mother go ahead yeah I. don't know that in order but Venus. Jupiter Saturn right Mars yeah um Venus. said that already what what about. Serena um Uranus Venus Serena Serena. Uranus urethra yeah Venus and and. um.

Cal Williams up. Williams but anyway so um I would said I. would no I would have said that and then. it's like and then you know he found. another fatty that he [ __ ] hey hey I. love it I love it be positive I love the. love I know you're right he found the. love of his life he found the love of. his life and they made no just they. right you're right you're right you're. right I'm trying to correct myself found. the love of his life right and at the. end he um makes out with her him well. they kiss because they're in love they. in love and uh you don't want to see men.

kiss I love it I love it I love it I. love it and I was watching it and I. turned to kila I was blushing yeah you. know I mean and I did a tremble you know. what I mean I think it was a love. tremble okay it wasn't negative what did. kav say she goes oh and I. went like but you know what I think that. was a love um ggle I think the problem. was because they both have big heavy. beards yeah and anyway so good luck to. them yeah good luck and thank you so. much um all that equipment by the way. that all the money they spent is now in. a warehouse it's in a warehouse and no.

one's using it yeah because it doesn't. work I know but it's the only thing he. likes oh can I just say one last thing. sure right it's like um so he what was. he he was sending music up there right. yes he was like broadcasting he Nigerian. afro Funk right he's like he's sending. Nigerian an afuck up up in space right. and what I want to ask him is just put. up some Adele sh that people like a. little bit of AD yeah yeah Adele yeah. yeah yeah some tunes yeah yeah don't put. out like you know what I mean this is um. albino country music from [ __ ].

Argentina they don't want to hear that. yeah well maybe they do they want to. hear pop how do you know what aliens. like but that's the thing you don't know. that they like Nigerian afro Punk they. might but also throw out some stuff that. we all like right a little bit of Beach. Boys yeah some Whitney uh Whitney. Houston yes some Whitney I get it you. know beat it whatever if you're going to. send if you're going to send music to. space What are you sending what's the. top three things you'll send I would. probably send um um some sort of Opera.

oh okay because you know it shows um. vocally a Maria probably a Maria yeah. right very good song right I would. probably send also some um I would send. something poppy like Whitney or. something okay you know how will I know. yeah I would probably sell uh probably. the Eagles o yeah pass no what hotel. California not Hotel C like um easy easy. take it easy take it easy can I tell you. something I'm being genuine right now.

yeah yeah when I was going through this. this um my ocular migraines in college. and I was having really bad panic. attacks and sending me to the ER because. I couldn't see out of my left eye and I. thought I was dying take it e that's not. funny I just no you're right are you. okay no are you okay don't pretend no. I'm not trying to pretend I like I want. [ __ ] change I like old Bobby I want. to [ __ ] change I like old Bobby no I. don't want I want I want this new one. you're supposed to make fun of me when I. say something like that no I'm not going. to are you okay really I'm going to keep. tempting you are you okay I hit my face.

on my counter when I passed out during. an earthquake what do you think and I. you know what when that happened I was. it was sad funny no you thought it was. funny I wanted to go I wanted to go to. the hospital I wish I was there with you. at the hospital okay so anyway I did I. used to listen to the Eagles take it. easy because it calmed me down but I. don't even like the eagles I know I. think I think they're great what three. songs would you send to space or three. bands um. one would be an anime song and then I.

that's why you're not in charge of it. just one that's why we would never put. you it will never be a documentary. Jewels talks to aliens because that they. would talk back actually they probably. love anime you know what Kila did she. spent $5,000 or something to put her. name on a plaque that's on a satellite. that was sent to the thing oh yeah yeah. and 50,000 people did it you think the. aliens going to grab the [ __ ]. satellite and go Kila yeah no yeah they. are no they're going explod it no.

they're going to take it and go and. another [ __ ] thing K did is one time. one time she you know what she did she. goes um I go where are we going it's 4. in the morning mhm we're going to go see. the the launching of the. satellite into the the plaque into space. whatever and I go okay I'm going to. sleep that's the old me the new me would. go thank you where are we going I got my. binoculars let's go good boy yeah yeah. I've got my little [ __ ] antenna hat. well now that I have you in this good.

mood yeah I think I think but got to. tell you what happened tomorrow morning. we should go for a walk together I love. it and let's go you want to go hiking. I'll bring my shoes 9:00 a.m. will you. go I'll be there and we'll look at the. butterflies and the trees well there is. no butterflies whatever it is but. there's trees is there fresh air 9:30. are you going to be there I'll be there. that's the most important thing you. didn't even tell us the songs we cut her. off an anime song and what else let me. just finish this thing right just give. her two more let her have two more. um maybe a rock song so that aliens. would be curious what rock song um maybe.

like Nirvana okay pretty good I like. that a that's a good choice pretty good. what song what song though um Teen. Spirit. or lithium lithium lii very good I would. do rape me yeah yeah that makes sense I. would do rape me cuz that's a signal to. tell them come on down it's just a good. song and it's also teaches them about. you know bad things too life right right.

what else what are you looking for on. the floor did you lose something no I. thought I dropped my um rubber band oh. and then maybe a a classic song or a. classic song like. what I don't know yes you do throw it. out there yes you do I don't know. anything she doesn't know any yeah you. don't know any yeah you don't know one. classic rock song not a rock song No. classic song you don't know any classic. songs do you know a beetle song maybe a.

beetle song what's Beetle song um hey. June hey June he June hey June's a good. song Hey jun. j when is it. April yeah it's a good song so that's. good you'll send hey June up there yeah. yeah hey jun's a good here's my three. ready yeah go. ahead Otis reading great Sitting on the. Dock of the Bay unconventional song. there's a lot of different but I like it. because it's a song he wrote before he. died so I like it he died Otis died oh.

crashed in a in a plane crash that with. Richie Richie Richie Val Valley bro he. died uh in Lake manona which is in. Madison Wisconsin oh [ __ ] you know those. two lakes that surround Madison you. course the wake wake monono lake lake. Monona yeah yeah and he died in one of. them one of them crashed Otis reading. anything really about Otis reading uh I. would send them. uh really any radio head that's really. tough but I would send them something by. radio head I just put you know what I. would send them the whole Okay computer.

computer Al you like that do I like Okay. computer yeah cuz you don't seem artsy. in that way oh Bobby but you are you're. creative thank you thank you see that. that's just you judging you don't know. enough about what I like because you. just white D stiff white um I'm a stiff. white dude no no I'm saying I'm friends. with hip-hop artists I know I know some. too you know who what one friend do you. have in hip-hop I have a friend named. Marshall he's pretty good is he who what. Marshall what I don't know he's his name.

is Eminem or something like that you're. not friends with Eminem I did his video. so that he because he like he because he. wanted a chunky Korean guy in the video. that so you're were friends with him now. we talked and we hung out really dud. text him call him no why do you have his. number no not friends also you I need to. have the number to. have to be friends with somebody yep. you're right I I you know what I [ __ ]. up you're have a gift oh great what is. it.

I have a gift for Rudy. yeah so this is from our friend small. plate blades and this is maybe one of. the coolest things on earth go ahead and. there you go oh my God open that up wait. till you see how cool this looks look at. the handle on that thing how beautiful. is that that's handmade that's a. handmade kife now take it out of its. sheath be careful just pull there you go. look at that thing how beautiful what. does the handle look. like here give it to me I'll give it to. Bob let me see how incredible is this.

knife handmade look at that it's. absolutely stunning is [ __ ] stunning. dude and it's Sharp As [ __ ] well yeah. could be careful be very care I just. want to do this no yeah yeah don't cut. yeah go AC but you know it's down the. street not across the road if you're. going to do it ah definitely don't yeah. go it's a great knife this is your. beautiful knife what do you think it's. really uh. beautiful say thank you thank you to. whoever whoever made it small plate BL. blades all right let me go back to you.

want me to go back to myself yeah of. course is it not working I just I want. you to be you and he made us one Bob. look at this and what does that say bad. friends bad friends me dude dude dude so. um it's I'm I'm so glad that this we're. doing this ad because number one you. know I say I when I say I love something. yeah on these it's not just because. they're paying me right because check. this out it's so funny cuz I didn't know. we're going to do it today I'm wearing. me now those are cute little pandas yes.

little pandas cutesy honestly honestly. meundies is my favorite underwear of all. time I wear and I I I have other ones. yeah in the in the in my underwear. closet or my I mean drawer yeah and you. know I wear them because it's like you. know I don't have you know a thousand. meundies I have maybe 12 pair I have 25. that's great and I and I cycle them over. and over and but what I'm thinking about. doing is I want to throw away the rest. and just use me that's how much I love. it well why would you at some point you. should be throwing away underwear in.

general you should be replacing your. underwear okay uh because that's well. let's talk about meandi because it's a. great [ __ ] um are you ready for the. fall okay it's going to get colder out. uh meundies their underwear grows on. trees seriously they're made from this. irresistibly soft soft natural fibers. from Peachwood trees baby and you know. what those fat fibers mean they're micr. modal it's not only super soft I've. never even heard that word before I. didn't know what it is either they're. super comfortable everything meundies. does is to help you feel truly. comfortable from head to toe outside to. in um honestly they have super cool.

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second one I've tried uh and honestly I. was a little I was surprised cuz it. feels and they customize it to you you. go on the website you take a quiz it. takes like two minutes it's future [ __ ]. man it's future [ __ ] man it matches your. body it's you tell the weight and the. height how you sleep what side you take. this quiz and you literally can get. matched up with what you are I took the. quiz uh and I think I was the sunset the. sunset I think they sent me the sunset. we match you with the dawn uh and.

honestly it surprises me how comfortable. I've been sleeping now because just. simply because of it and Helix. recognizes that everyone has kind of. like a unique body type so that's part. of this quiz you should go on it'll. it'll show you even if you don't buy. you'll just know what uh what to use. just just guys if you're looking for a. mattress just take the quiz you will. love it Helix was Award of the number. one best overall mattress pick of. 2020 and the GQ and wired mag magazine. they both had articles about it and it's.

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with my girlfriend you want to just. drink water yeah people do 30day water. fasts and I want to do a water fast I. think one guy died one guy died one guy. died yeah one guy died but um I want to. do what today I haven't eaten all day. cuz I watch that fast documentary so I'm. going to um try not to eat. really yeah I don't know if that's a. good idea I got to figure something out. I have to read I have to I you know I I. I've been stagnant maybe you need I'm. fat and I just want to eat pizza so. [ __ ] badly all the time it is the.

best I have six [ __ ] Lum Mal natis. pizzas in my freezer and they're just. been sitting there because I'm trying. every time I eat a pizza my neck hurts. and I want to [ __ ] I do I know but. your neck hurts from eating pizza yeah. and my neck hurts my do you eat I eat. the whole thing and my whole my blood. pressure shoots through the roof my neck. hurts and I can't move and I feel like. [ __ ] it like cripples you yeah and but. then I yesterday I'm like I'll go to. [ __ ] um um I'll go to men the C farms. and get the impossible salad you know.

the impossible meat sure so they SL it's. not good it's not good for you they put. it in there and I shaked it up I ate it. I'm like oh that didn't feel good and. then I so healthy food doesn't feel good. either well it doesn't feel like you ate. anything it's like eating air so then I. and then um last night um I didn't. really eat much and then today I'm. getting out of fast so I need to change. my life and so they're doing um I was. watching that documentary well and then. there's another episode about um tantric. oh I want to do that maybe I want like.

somebody's fingers on my belly and I. want a orgasm without you know. ejaculation but you know how hard that. is they they have to you have to last. hours and hours and hours without I want. a two-hour orgasm with. you with me I don't know why I said that. wait seriously are you being serious no. I don't know why I said that to you I. would love it I would love it I would do. two do you want a tantrick I would do a. two two hour tantric orgasm how much we. could open an only fans and see how many. people would pay for us to tantri well. there's a lady in in um in Mexico that.

we could stay at her place H yeah I. would do a 2our her name was last name. is. Cobra real May it's like Sasha Martha. Cobra or something Martha Cobra and she. uh no she's white oh okay she's white. what's going on in Mexico she has her. own Institute a tantric sex interest why. it's illegal probably to do here I don't. know but you and I could get naked and. um she put she puts her fingers on your. belly why in your belly I don't know in. your button maybe sometimes do you have. an in or an Al and she goes goes you. know just Giggle and then in the.

documentary they were giggling so I. would love to get naked and giggle with. you and then and then and then what she. does is and then cry if you want to so. they. cry and then they go laugh and then they. orgasm together so I would love to lock. eyes with you and just orgasm without. being gay what do you mean how is it gay. I just don't want and that to be thrown. in why they're just no gay what's I. don't it's just friends it's just two. two guys naked laughing orgas or.

together what's there's nothing gay. about no it's fine that's cool yeah we. could touch each other yeah yeah but not. like like hold hands well but don't they. say you also you T we can tickle noses. we can we could tickle noses we we you. know what we also could do yeah cuz. we're laying side by side together right. yeah our dicks aren't out yeah they are. they might be in in my mind they are. yeah yeah but but in the in the document. they they have a blanket over which way. is it dick your dick laying you know how. lays sometimes straight up I'm hard oh.

you are yeah straight up how soft for. the whole thing yeah oh you are well. tantri says you have to really calm. yourself and pace yourself so I would. lay next to you I'll have it'll be doing. this you know when it does that you know. when it's going down and it's popping. getting heartbeat back yeah and then out. of nowhere some's like whoa and you're. like oh and it comes down and I would. lay next to you and I would just um you. know giggle come and then cry and I. think that would you want a snuggle at. the end you want a spoon nah come on I. walk away oh you're going to leave me me. the way I am I might even take a plane.

without you and just leave that's kind. of hot yeah yeah you leave me you smoke. a cigarette and you go see you back in. La no don't even do that flick it on me. don't even do that Bobby no we we do the. session right yeah I literally like a. zombie get. up get up pack my [ __ ] and get out and I. just take a Mexican Uber and I'm out of. there you want to fast with me yeah no. no I can't drink just water I can't do. it but what it says it resets your your. body but you can reset your body in. other ways like how uh by doing. stretching exercising mindful meditation.

you know I've been trying to do that. really difficult to do yeah because my. water heater went out and I was two. weeks without. water I don't know the name of the. company but I but I do want to defame. them on our podcast I will defame the. home owners insurance company that. screwed us over so the water heater at. your home I was going I was went out had. two weeks of cold showers you pee in the. shower I pee right outside of the shower. do do you really PE you don't pee in I. pee in the shower every time yeah me too. don't doesn't everybody do you pee in. theer PE in the shower of course you pee.

in the shower yeah yeah yeah fancy do. you no fancy doesn't pee in the shower. yeah of course cuz he's fancy why why. don't you fancy you go in the toilet of. course loser are you afraid to pee in. the shower it goes it's the same drain. do you pee in the swimming pool I pee in. my pool it's my pool but in a public. pool have you peed if it's in a public. pool I'll get out and I'll stand up and. I'll I'll pull it out and I'll pee right. into. it I won't pee while I'm swimming no but. I I I I always pee in a public pool. you're supposed to that's they're public.

that's the whole point of a public pool. is to pee in it but can I so I would. love to take a poll of how many people. pee in the shower I'm offended you don't. pee in the shower fancy that so so. stupid but one time I went to Splash. Mountain Six Flags yeah you not that's. Splash Mountain they have a water park. attached to Six Flags did you know that. yeah I think water slide that's what I. mean yeah right and around the Waterside. Park I swear to God I did this around. the water Light Side slide park there's.

a river Lazy River it's like a lazy. river right yes and 10,000 kids are in. this River oh yeah right oh yeah and I. went in the river and my friend laan I. have a friend named. laan I know my friend laan he's a skater. okay L goes dude Duna in there bro and I. go why it's it'll be funny I'll take the. life ra Duna in there broh I wouldn't go. in there I go why he goes you know how. many kids [ __ ] in there and piss in. there mhm and I go dude look at the.

river that's like I drink that water. you're like dude I'm going to sh and. piss in that water I might that's why. I'm getting in I went to the. hospital why I went straight to the. hospital you got an infection I had to. put they had to drain my body I had an. effect I had diarrhea I almost died dude. that water is [ __ ] like rancid it's. so gross it's it's all by it's all. bacteria peeing all day because what I. did was I was I wasy trying to be funny. I was on the tube my friend laen was.

like dude get out of there bro right and. I was like drinking the water oh God. like just to be funny you know what I. mean like dude what look next. thing I I swear to [ __ ] God dude that. place should shut down yeah but just. don't get in that water you're right let. little I love water slides though you do. yeah I don't like them I love them I. don't like. them why because I went I I fell off one. in high school did you really yeah yeah. I I went to a I went to a fair once in.

delmare. and they had roped off a section I go. and then I looked at this roller coaster. and there was a father and a kid. dangling they had fallen off the roller. coaster shut up yeah and I remember. going hurry I want to get on it not I. being real I would cuz I thought that I. didn't know what it was at first you. didn't know they were in danger yeah. they didn't die but they were about to. did they I don't know but I was like.

hurry up you know what I mean let's go. cuz I was waiting in the line I think or. something I I I went to Six Flags one. time when they shut it down it was. called Six Flags Great America in in. Chicagoland and they shut it down. because one of the rides got stuck and. the people were in it sideways stuck. sideways sitting in the in the chair. sideways oh wow on a on a like on a bank. an embankment curve yeah and they're. like help help and honestly I stared for. like five minutes and then afterwards I. was like. let's go yeah really I don't want to see.

if they get K if they die her family. yeah they build water slides cowards. yeah we went to Disneyland right every. ride Disneyland yeah it's not Magic. Mountain I rode everything the no. yeah we go to the Guardians of Galaxy. Light ride awesome did you see it we. ride it yeah it's awesome the it's. awesome right I don't want to why why. why I'm scared what are you scared of. what of the roller coasters and like the.

up and down nobody dies on them other. than Kyle Schmidt 10-year-old boy four. years ago most people don't die yeah I'm. not I'm not scared of them at all some. people just don't like one out of 100. people die maybe maybe a little bit more. maybe one out of 70 but you're not going. to be one of the one yeah you think. you're going to be the one that dies on. a roller coaster are you scared of. planes no cuz you guys took a boat to. get over here I think I feel like you're. what are you scared of other than roller. coasters just that I just don't like um. the gForce but your father and your.

mother wouldn't go on the other ones oh. it's a family thing you know that right. yeah yeah you don't like the G's you. don't like to be pushed back in your. seat does it make you well they don't. have that in the Philippines you don't. have roller not us not they're not used. to it life is a roller coaster in the. Philippines I know their whole life yeah. getting through the day is tough they. don't have fairs in the Philippines do. they not have like a summer fair just a. few just like a ferris wheel have you. done a ferris wheel yeah that's okay I'm. okay with that what about the one where. you stick to the wall That's the GeForce. one what's that called I know that one.

you know where whips around so fast I. love that one what's that called do you. know what I'm talking you don't know. what this is you're in like a in like a. circular room yeah and it's it it just. starts going and you get sucked against. the wall and sometimes you people see. people vomit and splashes right back in. their face yeah it happens a lot. actually go the guy next to him and you. and then you see the funny guy like the. jackass guy like the kid he stands up. who tries to stand up on it the carnival. riding the Gravitron the Gravitron. Gravitron there's people that will stand.

up when the grav that's what I'm saying. you always see guys trying to do that. how to ride it like a pro watch this guy. watch this. guy okay there's all the GeForce see. they're on the wall yeah look at this. dude he's standing. up oh my. god oh they're moving oh he loves it he. doesn't care at all. yeah oh there's another guy doing.

it I was never that guy yeah I was. always this was me right here yeah. that's me just arms up panic the whole. time yeah and look at the carnival ride. guy in the middle here look at this. freak I love this dude I think it's a. cool life to be able to just move towns. they call them cars that's what we're. that's basically what Comics are we're. cars yeah I think I would I would do. that I would do it why you just travel. around have fun yeah man uh I eat you. know I eat uh fried Twinkies fried Oreos.

for breakfast lunch and dinner and uh I. get to look at the girls look at the. girls they never get to [ __ ] them though. no of course not no well maybe they. never get the [ __ ] what about the people. that work in the freak Show maybe they. maybe they're fun to party with oh dude. dude that's barn barnab and Bailey baram. and Bailey dude that's I think I did. that in the previous life you were a. Barnum Bailey no I was a I was in part. of a show oh you were like part of the. freak Show yeah yeah what was your freak. no no legs yeah you you were fin arms. Stumpy fin arms hairy face Stumpy fin.

arm hairy face and I would sit there in. a a cage right yeah and people would pay. a dollar just to walk in 50. cents 75 7575 75 cents right and they. just they would go like this they would. look at me St right they would yeah they. would walk in there it is they wouldn't. say he there it is and you they would. look right at me yeah and they would. go and spit right in my face everyone. lugie right and I would eat them out of.

the air catch the yeah yeah yeah yeah. and no one ever taught me how to speak. [Music]. oh that's how it say people would spit. in your mouth yeah yeah you would just. catch I think that I was yeah I think. the scariest movie I've ever seen by far. cuz I was a kid when I saw it was David. Lynch's The Elephant Man oh my God oh my. God image burned into my brain burned in. my brain. [Laughter].

well how did he sound. a I mean this we have to play the you. sleep for a week do you know what the. Elephant Man is animal The Elephant Man. Mooney I'm a human being I'm not an. animal human being yeah I'm not an this. is scene this is Rudy do you know what. elephant man is no it's a real guy by. the name of John Merrick that's right he. really existed he had elephant titas of. the face but back in London or whatever. right yeah he um he was a circus.

Sideshow guy but was whipped and and. treated poorly I mean they they. basically they beat they beat him him. into being they like enslaved him in. John hert played him John Hurt yeah the. actor John Hurt oh hurt I was like not. John herd hurt yeah John Hurt yeah John. herd had passed away yeah good actor by. the way great guy so John her stop that. man stop him. now did he just get go go golfing what. is that a golf club what is that oh.

oh oh no oh. no looks like Tony. Hinchcliffe oh no the cage oh no oh the. [Music]. cage oh. how.

heartbreaking what do you think Rudy. it's sad it is they treated because look. different you know what's so funny it's. not okay 20 years ago right yeah 20. years ago I was watching this going chop. his head up you know just you know how. you know back then you a mob mentality. get the B you know what I mean yeah get. him you're not you're an animal you know. what I mean whatever right and now when. I just saw that dude I got [ __ ]. emotional bro right that's so sad what.

people used to do doesn't that tell you. something about what's going on I. changed I think doesn't that tell you. something about what's going on now. think I think what's going on now is. helpful some of the things that you know. the social you know the social mob I. think some of it it has you know some of. it some of it some of it's a little too. far some of it's insane all right but. it's like um that really cuz as a kid I. was just like get him you know yeah. even when he said that [ __ ] you you.

[ __ ] freak you know and just jab you. know jab the [ __ ] in his eyes you. know what I mean the boy SL you know. what I mean whatever you know but now. it's like I want to go come here you my. bigheaded friend help him out and hold. them and hold them not too close yeah. not no not his head to the side yeah. yeah but I like you want to be my. roommate right and have him come in they. really they really ridiculed just. because the way he looked this is how. people treat people see that Rudy what. does that teach you be nice just in the. Philippines do they have things like.

that yeah oh dude I feel like the. Philippines has probably what have you. seen there um faces that are burned like. like half like full or half that's crazy. wait why did they get burned they burned. of fire there's a lot of fire accidents. that happened there why are there so. many fire accidents in the Philippines. um like the gasoline it's not. um how do you say it it's not um hot no. is that really hot no the gasoline is.

just um you just buy a gasoline the the. tank yeah and then some people just. leave. it um on like oh so they I don't know. what you mean like I know what they mean. they buy the tank of gasoline yeah they. light it on fire and they go to sleep. and they just leave it they leave house. on their house right next as a pillow is. that a normal thing to just be like I. left. to light it and walk away no they don't. light it but do you mean propane yeah oh.

prop gas propane gas they have propane. accidents prop so it's a tank yeah and. what's it connected to like stoves. stoves right yeah so so blows up a lot. yeah and then and then they all my have. you ever had a close friend have a gas. have a propane accident no nobody you. know nobody I know oh just you see. people though and do people are people. mean to them in the streets they do they. do yeah what do they say to them what's. something that they would say like like.

ugly or um they say it out loud they. just yell ugly yeah or wow my God yeah. society change that's bad they just yell. ugly yeah and they make fun of them like. like push them around what really what. they [ __ ] shoulder check them [ __ ]. [ __ ] hockey check they hockey check. yeah they tackle them is that normal is. that normal to do do people not say. anything when someone's mean to somebody. who has a burn uh um is there a nickname. do they call them something yeah Bernie.

no I don't I've never heard of nicknames. they just they're mean to people in the. streets like that yeah God that's so sad. sad that's so sad that you would just do. that to someone probably cruel like for. Halloween right they know a guy that was. in a fire so then you dress up as an. egg right and you just kind of stand. next to him bacon you know whatever you. I mean just [ __ ] [ __ ] up [ __ ] right. [ __ ] up [ __ ] that's funny though yeah. but hey guys that's not me being mean it. was just a hypothetical thing okay don't.

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first month when you download the door. Dash app in the app store and enter the. code friends don't forget that's the. code bad friends use it help us for $5. off your first order with door Dash Okay. so Rudy wants to take acting classes. yeah baby and we want to get her into. the biz well yeah I I think that she has. the uh the bug right now she's got the. potential for sure to potential right a. great actor because I wish like how old. were you when you first started I was uh. 30 yeah like like didn't get a job until. I was uh 27 or eight or something if I.

started at 18 that would have been like. I would have been the next uh Leo you. think do you think so yeah man do you. think you would have been Leo the next. Leo yeah Titanic tube righty Titanic the. boat comes back no the whole movie is. underwater baby oh that's tight yeah I'm. still living down there baby Aquaman. stuff yeah I do so you're you're living. Anda still I'm still you know what I. mean you're Jesus no I'm in the the. front of the boat you know what I mean. I'm the I'm the king of the king of the.

world I'm the king of the. under. under water world and then Kevin Cosner. is gonna be there and he'll be there too. he'll be there yeah yeah and then Josh. Jason Mamoa was he in Underwater World. well he is the Aquaman oh yeah that's. right yeah yeah yeah he's hot and then. you know who else is going to be in my. movie who else I'm gonna have Nemo the. fish yeah nice Nemo SpongeBob. okay okay it's great who else Titanic 2. right Titanic 2 um who else is going to.

be there is um Nemo SpongeBob yeah Bobby. Lee Bobby Lee well do you get build. higher than those guys or does SpongeBob. get top billing SpongeBob goes first so. sponge featuring SpongeBob it's it's. three headline oh goes SpongeBob. SpongeBob Nemo Nemo Bobby Lee right and. also featuring featuring Kevin Cosner. Kevin Cosner you I mean as Jason Mamoa. Jason moamoa right The Little Mermaid. the priest from The Little Mermaid who. gets a boner yeah and Sebastian the crab.

yeah and then and a special special. appearance super special appearance John. F Kennedy Jr and Jimmy haa and Jimmy. hofa cuz they're both at the bottom of. the ocean right yeah yeah yeah together. at last together at last in Titanic 2. and what's the subtitle Fun funwater. World funder waterer funder waterer. funder waterer funder funder waterer I. love it did she get a role in the movie. no no she well she has to prce well she.

auditioned five times she didn't get it. screen tested her oh you did yeah what. do the audience. think yeah well they couldn't understand. what she was saying yeah what does the. little brown girl say again yeah I can't. understand a word she's saying is that. Dora is that Dora the Explorer now. listen I like Mexican stuff yeah like. their food and their music but I just. don't like her as it's like it's like an. underwater Apocalypto I get it right. right there's Temple she's [ __ ]. killing but how the Mexicans get in now.

did they swim under the wall. underwater yeah yeah yeah I have a scene. for you I'd like you to read a very. famous movie called on the waterfront do. you know what that is you've never heard. of it in your life no okay Bobby's going. to play opposite of you okay so we're. going to see I my L do I have lines. we're going to put them up okay good but. I want to see your acting ability okay. and I want you to take this no no no no. don't do that take this serious do that. no laughing don't do that please take it. serious okay say I'll take it serious. I'll take it serious hell yeah and you. don't you it's a scene from a movie it's.

from on the waterfront oh we're doing. three scenes but the first one we're. doing is from on the waterfront the. because everybody wants to know if you. truly do have what it takes to make I'm. also scared because I've never seen the. movie you've never seen it no Brando's. in it. right this is going to be good Brando's. in it right all right so look so so uh. Am I who am I playing well you've. literally never seen this movie one time. no do you have any reference to what. it's about yeah I think it's by a it's. let me just guess let's have a guess. it's the docks it's about what do you.

mean oh about the docks the water docks. yeah yeah yeah it's not really on in the. middle of the ocean the movie I just. remember it being in the docks you know. Brando's in it and it's kind of black. and white yeah and it's uh. dreary okay is it dreary yeah okay good. Dre's good good uh so here's the deal. I'm G to read the the I'm going to read. the uh action yeah who am I playing well. you're going to be Charlie and you're. going to be Terry. okay rude okay and and I want you I'm.

Ser take it serious do you need to take. a beat do you need to step outside. that's what they say in rooms you want. to step outside okay Char Charlie. continues looking at him he does not. deny it they stare at each other for a. moment then suddenly Terry starts out of. the cab Charlie pulls a pistol Terry's. motionless now looking at Charlie take. the boss Landing kid for God's sakes I. don't want to hurt you hush gently. guiding the gun down toward Charlie lap. Charlie Charlie. wow I wish I didn't have to do this.

Terry Terry eyes in beaten Charlie leans. back and looks at Terry strangely Terry. raises his hand above his head somewhat. in the manner of a prize fighter. knitting the crowd the image Nicks. Charlie's. memory. wow what do you weigh these days. sluger 87 88 88 what's it to. you g when you tip one 175 you were. beautiful you should have been another. Billy con what that skunk I got to.

manage you brought you along too fast it. wasn't him it was you Charlie you and. Johnny like the night the two of you. come into the dressing room and says kid. this isn't this ain't your night we're. going for the P for the prize on Wilson. it ain't my night I I've taken Wilson. apart that night I was ready remember. the early rounds throwing them. combinations so what happens. this B he gets the title shot outdoors.

in the ballpark and what do I get a. couple of bucks and a one-way ticket to. Pal pille Palookaville it was you. Charlie you was my brother you should. have look out for me instead of making. me take them Dives for the short short. end money I always had a bet down for. you you saw some money see you don't. understand I try to keep you in good. with j. you don't understand I could have been a. contender I could have been I could have.

had class and been somebody real class. instead of a bum let's face it which is. what I am it was you Charlie wow oh my. God I might need to go home oh my God I. might need to go home is there an Oscar. here did you have we have a we have an. Andreas oh yeah we have an Andreas yeah. you me the. statue God that was incredible. Ming yeah com. Nation I mean you know when people read.

that on the script right you know as a. regular actor or whatever it's just the. average actor I would I would have read. it combination you read doing those one. two combinations you know the great. actors they take a word and they make it. their own like a like an like a balloon. animal right right like a balloon at. that she and you know normally people. would go you know how should I say this. right combination right but and they. they process it she didn't even process. it that's how fast it happened. yeah yeah oh my.

Goden that's that's incredible you're. going to be a superstar yeah yeah next. scene okay you and I Bob are going to. read a scene yeah yeah uh I want you and. I to read a scene and it's uh from it's. a great scene from Step Brothers which I. really love I haven't seen it uh they. were at the dback house at night Dale. and Brennan are laying separate beds to. each other you can pick whoever you. wanted I'll start with Dale then okay go. ahead yeah no Dale has a lot of lines. I'll be br and remember this I'll we're. laying in separate beds in the middle of. the night I'll be brenon and this is.

more for me than it is for anything go. ahead I'll be brenon okay go ahead hey. you. awake yeah I just want you to know I. hate you and so does my dad well that's. fine cuz guess what I hate you too and. this house sucks. ass well the only reason you're living. here is cuz me and my Dad decided that. your mom was really hot and maybe we. should both just bang her. and we'll put up with the [ __ ] in the. meantime who's the [ __ ] you hey you.

don't say that. shut shut up you wake up my dad and get. me grounded just shut up you and your. mom are Hillbillies this is the house of. learned doctors you're not a doctor and. you're a big fat girly headed [ __ ] oh. yeah yeah I'm a girly headed [ __ ] yeah. and you better not go to sleep as soon. as your eyes shut I'm going to punch you. square in the. face I hope hope you stay still when you. sleep cuz I'm putting a rat trap between.

your legs I'm going to take a pillowcase. and fill it with bats bars of soap and. beat the [ __ ] out of you I want you out. of my [ __ ] no way zimoi this is my. house. now kimosabi oh I couldn't read. it cuz my eyes are dude I can't read my. my eyes I need glasses that's good yeah. yeah pretty good I like that scene yeah. pretty good I like that scene Jewels now. though yeah we have one more. that was really for me another uh this.

is the big Labowski this one is this is. great this is awesome so I want I I'm. gonna be okay yeah you you do the lines. now I I already did it so I'm gonna do. it with Rudy yeah but I want you to be. um smokey Smokey is gonna come up at the. end of this scene okay and it's two. lines all right so um she should play. the D she should play Walter no cuz I. want her to get. intense I want to feel her because. because we saw the int inity Oh no. you're right we saw intensity out of out. on the waterfront should we see her play.

the dude a stoner stoner or intens yeah. so the dude is a stoner yeah you know. what Stoner is he smokes a lot of weed. he's a man in his probably mid 40s late. late 40s yeah who lives in in in Los. Angeles and can't get his life together. he wears like he goes to the grocery. store wears like bathrob you know with. sunglasses is you yeah yeah yeah yeah. you're playing me this is you and and. and the other guy's a Vietnam yeah he's. like hey dude you know you're going to. [ __ ] do it I think you're going to do. it I think you're going to do it you're.

going to do it all right so you're. playing the dude you're a pothead and. I'm going to be Walter and well. depending on how it goes we can swap we. go we can switch it around are you ready. ready I'll let I'll do stage stage. direction do stage Direction he lets a. small yapping dog out of the carrier it. scoots around the bowling table sniffing. and bow at Bowlers and wagging its tail. hey man if my [ __ ] ex-wife asked me. to take care of her [ __ ] dog while. she and her boyfriend went to Honolulu I. tell her to go [ __ ] herself why can't. she board it first of all dude you don't. have an X secondly it's a [ __ ] show.

dog with papers you can't board it it. gets upset it it its hair falls out hey. man [ __ ] dog has papers dude over the. line Smokey huh that's that's you that's. you your stage direction oh yeah Smokey. turns let's start it again let's try. again yeah yeah and let me say Let me. say something yeah yeah yeah we get you. note we'll going to give you a not right. you're I think you're rushing through. the line right more weed more weed. you're high settle in man if you [ __ ]. exwife you nice and slow slow you don't.

have to rush through it it's not a. [ __ ] contest this isn't this isn't. anime yeah yeah yeah okay there is no. rapid scenes of shooting lights and yeah. yeah all right you ready okay okay. really stoned you're Stone keep your. eyes low too yeah there it is perfect. okay go ahead go ahead go ahead oh he. lets a small yapping dog out of the. carrier it scoots around the bowling. table sniffing at Bowlers and wagging. its tail hey man.

come on stop do the line again ready one. two action hey man if my [ __ ] ex-wife. asked me to take care of her [ __ ] dog. well she and her boyfriend went to Hulu. wait stop stop stop it's way too fast. slow you read the line first no no the. first line was perfect yeah you keep. that and right and that's what you keep. okay do you want me to do a reading for. you yeah yeah listen how this sounds. okay hey man if my [ __ ] ex-wife asked.

me to take care of her [ __ ] dog while. she and her boyfriend went to Hana Lulu. I tell her to go [ __ ] herself why can't. she board it see what I. mean nice and slow smooth right and. action hey man if my [ __ ] ex-wife. asked me to take care of her [ __ ] dog. while she and her boyfriend went to. honululu I tell her to [ __ ] herself why. can't she board it first of all dude you. don't have an ex secondly it's a [ __ ].

show dog with [ __ ] papers you can't. board it it gets upset its hair falls. out hey man [ __ ] dog has papers dude. over the. line Smokey turns from his last Ro to. look at Walter it's you Smokey huh you. again over the line Smokey I'm sorry. that's a. foul that's you that's you you're Smoky. [ __ ] eight dude excuse me market. zero next frame. [ __ ] Walter this is not n this is. bowling There are rules Come on Walter.

it's just it's Smokey so his toes slip. over a little it's just a game this is a. league game this determines who enters. the next round robin am I. wrong yeah but am I wrong yeah but I. wasn't over give me the marker dude I'm. marking it on eight Smokey my friend. you're entering a world of pain hey. Walter Mark that frame eight dude you're. entering a world of pain I'm not a World. of Pain look dude I don't hold with this.

this guy is your partner you should has. the whole world gone crazy am I the only. one here who gives a [ __ ] about the. rules Market. zero very good very good I think I think. uh they might do remakes one day I think. you have I think you have a future in In. The Biz but if there's anybody out there. listening if you guys are acting coaches. uh with any Acclaim yeah yeah how about. give her some free acting lessons but I. but I honestly think that she should. take some sort of improp class to get. you know like a UCB or something. something like that like you know you.

know I have a friend named Colton you. know Colton dun something like that yeah. he's he's an actor now he's a big guy. he's on U Superstore but um he's an. actor and a very funny uh improv. comedian well he was a writer at matttv. for years was he a standup at some point. too no no but he also taught at UCB he's. a really talented guy but like I would. like somebody like that to teach a class. and have you know her enter it so that. she can um cuz you know she's shy yeah. you know so it'll get her out of herself.

learn she broken she's broken open on. this show I think she has you know. Colton's probably got the best job on. Superstore he's paralyzed so he just get. to sit in a chair all day there's no. standing at all yeah what a great gig. it's a great gig I want to be paralyzed. in my next role I want to be in a coma. that's what Eric Griffin says all the. time really he wants to be he says his. next show he wants to be a um he wants. to be a a detective a mental detective. who gives Clues to people from a coma so. just walk up to him and touch his chest. and it transfers dat you know transfers. information to them so they know better.

yet how about this better yet better yet. you you I I'm in I'm a character that. died yeah I'm in a casket but for first. all all five seasons yeah right and. eventually like my character gets so. popular that I eventually go yeah just. put a um a dummy in there you have a. double for your c yeah yeah because he. doesn't move anyway I don't want to wake. up like you know you know I love Star. Trek next Generation here what they do. they cut to you and it's just your. voiceover so you just have to record. from home that's right so it's just it's.

just speaking through your telepathy. yeah that's genius that's genius and you. do it like you know once a week yep you. wake up you just do you don't even give. a [ __ ] scan through it yeah you scan. through it you just cut you're in bed. still you do it on your. iPhone right [ __ ] 50 Grand how great. would that be I mean that's kind of like. what uh what's it what's his name uh uh. uh Wheel of Fortune what's his name why. can't I think of his name Pat s Jack you. know they record for like four months. and then he just disappears so four. months he works like every day and then.

for the rest of the year he literally. just goes and goes on. vacation four months that's it you're. like Boop done I'm done I have a. question for you yeah because you know. who Eric Olsen is I don't I don't know. he's on NCIS Los Angeles but he was also. you know he he played Jim Carrey and. Dumb and Dumber yes I know who he is so. he's a great guy him and Matt Damon. right Matt Damon was he the other guy. Dumb and Dumber no not dumb and dum they. were in stuck to you that was Matt. Damon's yeah but I don't think it's Eric.

Olen I don't really know you know what. you're saying yeah I have no idea what. I'm talking about yeah but Eric ol okay. [ __ ] fine why would you add that my. brain isn't working what what well I was. like er so Eric Olson I was doing NCIS. and you know he was saying that he was. doing community he was on community. guest starring oh yeah and he was doing. a scene with chiby Chase he he he pissed. Chevy Chase off dude I've heard he gets. so mad and chvy Chase grabbed him by the. neck and like tried to pull him off you. know what I mean like up the wall yeah. yeah if you if if an actor like Chevy.

Chase hit you in the face or strangled. you on set what would you do fight back. as hard as I i' beat the [ __ ] out of. Chevy Chase I on set I'd kill him I. would actually no you wouldn't if he put. his hands on me I'd hurt him immediately. I wouldn't even think TW I wouldn't even. think twice I don't give but the. director everyone's laying around. sitting care really if he put his hands. on me I i' punch him in the [ __ ] head. okay what if it was I put Chevy Chase in. a coma what if it was a um let's say. you're doing a movie okay the biggest. movie of your life you're doing a movie. with the Batman I'm the new Robert. patson got Co and they wanted me and I'm.

the Batman no you're more like the robin. fine the you're the Robin I get it I. take okay right right the robin right. and they get um scors to direct it okay. okay and. you're you know who's the Nemesis Bane. they get Tom Hardy to redo his in Bane. kind to be hard to not want to make out. with him when I see him in scenes right. so you're doing a scene yeah and it's a. scene where Bane is grabbing Robin by. the neck mhm and pulling up right so.

he's doing it yeah right you're in The. Scene scors goes cut but you're still up. there yeah and he squeezes harder and. harder and harder cuz he's so into the. character right you can't breathe at. this point yeah I'm dying you're dying. almost turning BL you're like stop stop. man seem's over right like stop. I I don't know how he sounds you know. and then um he goes I've got to complete. this yeah so what what would you do. honestly I think Tom Hardy's very. attractive so I'd probably let him kill.

me no really but what would you yeah. what I would take it you suck his. dick myself upside down Su 69 each other. you suck no what would I do if Tom would. you suck Tom yeah no no. no no no no would you suck no no what. would I do if you choke me up against. the hon honestly yeah you would for me. yeah. no absolutely. yeah no way no but if I was at a party.

though yeah no I'm being real if I was. using if I was using let's okay let's I. was sober I'm still smoking weed I'm. drunk right and I'm at a party and I see. [ __ ] there keo's there charl theon's. there everyone's there they're all doing. coke they're all doing everyone's doing. it right what's up Bob right everyone. doing it and Tomas what's up hello M I'm. like what's up man I love big fan you. know come over here SM do some cocaine. or hey Bobby you want to come over do. cocaine yeah so I do cocaine with him. he's sober too but let's see he relapsed.

and then he's just like um all right. here's a straw and I as I grab the straw. right as I grab the straw I realized. it's his. penis right it's just BNS right and I'm. and and at this point what do I do I go. a your normal guy would go amen that's a. good trick that's your dick man come on. yeah not me I would probably you know. it's add information m mhm right it's. always a yes hand it's a yes hand right. I can't deny it right so I would.

go and I would suck. it I would suck it so hard and he's like. dude it was just a joke right me too me. too yeah yeah just kidding. around you know how funny it would be. you know if if if if Tom Hardy put his. penis there and I would just nuzzle it. with my nose oh oh you would esimo kiss. it I would esimo kiss it yeah yeah yeah. and then flick his nut yeah he's no if. Tom Hardy if someone was in a scene. doing that cuz I've seen that kind of. stuff I thought this is really weird you.

say that cuz I literally thought of that. uh before we came today because I was. watching some of these scenes while I. was getting some of these scripts and uh. uh there's a scene where um fle is. Einhorn Einhorn is finle from Ace. Ventura where he proves that she's a man. oh yeah yeah and and he goes would a man. have these and he exposes her breasts. and he goes but what about this he also. pulls on her hair. so [ __ ] hard he's like it's a wig. dude when you see it I have to bring it.

up when you see how hard he pulls like. you're talking about because you know. sometimes when you're acting with. somebody oh yeah like I've gotten I've. had to do like fight scenes and stuff. like that yeah you it's it sucks I did. that to Daniel gther what did you do so. we were doing a war you the movie the. movie Warriors yeah we were doing a. warrior scene I'm I'm listening I'm just. going to bring this up and I had a scene. where I was playing a character that D. called The Blind Kung Fu Master yeah I. do a character called The Blind Kung Fu. Master yeah and you mean I'm like and.

this is you're not your real hair right. and I grab her head right and I think. it's U her re real hair it's not a wig. it's it is a wig You' got her real hair. underneath I think it's her real hair. but I grab it I realized oh it's her a. wig I'm I think it'd be funny if I just. pull it off oh no right in front of an. audience right but the wig is attached. to um your real bob hair Bobby Bob hair. bob she put a b a bunch of bobby pins. that's how they attach W right yeah and.

I say I pull it clumps of her hair come. out and I could see a bald spot with. blood and she's like what the [ __ ] are. you doing man you know I mean and she's. like freaking the [ __ ] out yeah and I. was like oh my God it hurts so much oh. my God I did that for real life I've had. people pull on it I've had people pull. on a wig when I'm I'm dying up here I. had people pull it they sew it into your. hair and they glue it to your face it it. hurts so much it so look at this scene. that's funny look at this scene you.

can't tell me that this. isn't uh that this didn't hurt there's. no way that this didn't hurt cuz it. looks too real oh here hold on hold on. hold on hold on let's just see who's. lying shall we would a real woman have. to wear one of these. ah boy that's really on there there's no. way that didn't hurt her head especially. when he puts his other hand on it that.

that that yeah yeah that but you know. what you know what she could have bro. she could have like they could have. rehearsed that that looks pretty good. yeah she could have got I'm just going. to go back but don't really pull it uh. you this is either good camera work or. great acting cuz have to wear one of. these oh that's that's pretty hard yeah. looks yeah I don't know. that looks like by the way tone L one of. the greatest underrated actors one of.

the greatest not only actors but. musicians and also personalities yeah I. forgot he was in this until I re skinny. is I mean he was a tiny guy when he did. this and and Courtney Cox super young I. forgot how many people were in this. movie dude that movie this movie Ace. ventur was changed changed me my life. when I went to I remember going to the. theater watching it to it changed me. this is why you know he's undeniably why. I became a comedian yeah and then you. became friends with him uh he was my. boss I wouldn't say friends i' say he. was my boss he was a great boss but. honestly him him him this whole movie.

talking out of your butthole I mean I. remember laughing so hard it hurt my. body hurt but I think Dumb and Dumber. steal the deal for me no it's the better. of the movies yes it's the best so funny. because it's joke joke per minute is. just like so many jokes yeah but this. had a lot you know the scene in the the. scene in the um the scene uh where he's. like put me in coach you know where he's. got the he's check trying to check into. the crazy house I mean that was. phenomenal the guano scene with the bat. [ __ ] I want to ask you this everyone.

loves a slinky I mean I've always wanted. to ask you this. yeah what's your top five movies I know. I know I hate top 10 list you know they. do it on the internet but I don't know. that about you comedy because when you. said um that um what album did you say. you liked Okay computer okay computer it. freaked me that that freaked me out why. cuz you just didn't think I because I. think that you're more of a creedy kind. of oh shut up now you're you're baby no. no I'm being no I'm not being I just. think that you like corn or Creed that.

type of guy first of all those two. things have nothing to do corn and Creed. are not either one you know what I. mean no I'm being real I you know how. much I first of all you know how much I. love hip hop that's crazy to me I loved. it I like it's crazy I us I used to rap. when I was that's crazy top five movies. uh of across the board that you would. you okay you looked at me right I'm a. guy comedy anything no anything I'm a. guy. yeah I'm an alien yeah right hello hi I. would like you I I've heard this stepen.

Hawking or are you an alien I'm Stephen. haing what is your favorite movie so. what um you know I don't know what film. is could tell me I don't have a lot of. time okay I have you know only three. days here and I want to watch five. movies give me the five movies that. would best represent cinema cinema or. just movies in general God uh Casino. The Princess Bride oh great big wow.

um I'm doing another Tom Hanks oh my God. there's like three everything he's ever. done I think Catch Me If You Can is one. of the greatest movies of all time great. story but it's based on something real. yeah um and I got to give you some. history I can't if I'm GNA you got have. to do something like know Tom WS saing. yeah I was going to go I would go with. uh um. uh uh platoon wait I said big I said big.

you want me to give you films no no no. no no I said big Schindler's List maybe. that's the one Shindler he's in that. right he's Schindler no Tom Han is not. Shindler no no he's not Shindler uh no. Forest scump I mean dude he's made how. many no but but getting away from that. seriously seriously let me do it Casino. Princess Bride M Big M um. uh bronx's tale wow.

and there's so many movies it's hard to. like recategorize and then. probably and I would say Star Wars and. that's not because I'm a big Star Wars. fan that's because what it did to movies. it's cultural it changed the world. cultural phenomenon it changed it still. does yeah you're like a you are a Creed. corn guy why he's a St I listed great. films you're a creating corn guy and I'm. trying to be kind to you I love you. they're very interesting choices I don't. like any of those bands I don't like. either of those bands they're. interesting choices and you can't.

compare music to movies you're right. okay here we go I just came down from. space b what are your five favorite. films that would depict Cinema I don't. have a lot of time here on Earth Debbie. Does Dallas Debbie Does Dallas yeah yeah. okay what else um probably something off. of PornHub uh um do my top five I don't. have much time all right so um I would. have to. go I would probably do a western. so I would probably do Blazing Saddles. no Sergio Leon's The Good the Bad and.

the Ugly great movie it's a great movie. yeah it's a great movie it just shows. you you know that era I don't have much. time okay number two I would have to do. go a cissal film for sure okay don't. roll your eyes that's so [ __ ] dumb. that you just did that recomend me a an. alien he's an alien that he wants to. know about the world you're going to. suggest infinite Jess to me next as a. book wa dude I'll rip your [ __ ]. you're basic you're basic what corn. album do you like I don't know. corn I don't know corn all right go. ahead go ahead a c can I do my [ __ ].

thing right yeah yes I will probably do. um I'll probably do. Ron Ron yeah it's a cile film funches. yeah no Ron it's called Ron R and it's. um it's it's it's a colored movie so I. think don't have much time okay number. three I would go. um I would have to do it's hard see. Apocalypse. Now okay it's a war movie I haven't done. a war movie yet it's a war movie I did. need one in there yeah it's also it's.

got some fantasy in it too a little bit. mhm you know it's just yeah I like it. okay that's four yeah that's three oh. what yeah yeah kurasawa kurasawa good. the. ugly and also um Apocalypse Now. Apocalypse Now Okay number four would. have to be. um our spaceship is warming up. you know I would do something a ComEd. comedy you know I would you know you. have to have a comedy in there yeah I.

would probably do this is gonna be sound. so stupid you're gonna hate this yeah. but it's it's a little Arty I just. really think it's funny and cute but um. I would do um the Royal Tenon. bombs okay the Royal Tenon bombs I like. that's not a traditional comedy to but. it's good it's good you would pick big. uh big is unequivocally one of the one. of the most fantasy SL reality. well-written uh it doesn't make any. sense big a a a a fortune teller machine.

turned him into a [ __ ] kid or an. adult what the [ __ ] is this perhaps it. was a metaphor do you think that. deeply anyway can I do my fifth yeah. please you [ __ ] [ __ ] big is a. phenomenal movie front to back upside. down some of the great some of the most. comedically hilarious scenes Tom Hanks. has ever done give me the ball Baskin he. gets into a fist fight over a handball. so funny it's that movie is so good the. piano scene in FAO Schwarz like one of. the most iconic scenes in film history. oh that's an iconic scene film Andre who.

went to film school is the FAO Schwarz. scene from big one of the most iconic. scenes in film history um it's a. wellknown scene yeah there not iconic it. is Iconic okay Andreas based on what. come in Andreas based on [ __ ] based. on the movies we just suggested Andreas. right what would they teach in film. school oh that's that's not what we're. going for you just said what are my five. you brought up film school he knows. movies did film school so he knows right. I'm just want to I just want to I'm.

curious I'm curious go ahead Andreas. they're pretentious [ __ ] in film. school first of all I know I'm. pretentious they are aren't they Andreas. they are yeah it's Andreas though in. terms of film school let him answer he. was just gonna say something kurawa. might be in there yeah yeah it would. would honestly Andreas listen to me. right now okay of course Penny Marshall. films aren't going to be in film school. would big be in film school would they. even say the movie probably not okay no. thank you but you didn't say you didn't. say what movies can I do my fif would be.

in film school I'm giving an alien what. I think is dope yeah the fifth one's. going to drive you crazy yeah I know. yeah Royal Tenon bombs by the way you're. a comedian and you think that's that's. the comedy you'd give them yeah because. it's okay I would probably do Paris. Texas as my. fifth would they teach that in film. school probably yeah yeah yeah. pretentious po good movies good movies. anyway corn uh what else do you want to.

it's so funny that you pretend like you. like high-end stuff but you're the most. low-end boogered person on Earth I. really am and also you yelled at me you. just yelled at me way louder than I ever. yell at you and and you said last week. take a poll over who yells first do you. remember that oh yeah yeah yeah we did. okay yeah we did Twitter responded let's. take a look at what this says Bob can. you read that yeah Rudy why don't you. tell me what this says just read that. out loud the fans can see it but go. ahead and uh tell me what it says there. uh rude T Bobby has 60 hold on hold on. sorry there you go what does it say T.

Bobby has. 60.5% and Andrew has. 39.5% wow the final results are in wow. that's bet 2200 votes it's betrayal no. no it's fact you yell first it's. betrayal from the audience how they just. know they recog they they don't know. yeah know they do know you know it. really is sad it really is I think. you've skewed this [ __ ] this yeah I. think the fans now I can see it I you. know cracked open not blind I'm not. blind and I'm not dumb and I I go on the. internet and I read things I read things.

one of two well then because of is that. an eye joke because of my SL eyes no. it's a dumb joke you're dumb but um I. think that you skewed the audience into. your favor and that's fine and it was. and it was a little bit of a slny eye. joke I'm not I can't yeah I know it was. no it was not so I do raise my voice. first you always do you do and and and. you put it on me as if I do and Andre is. laughing I do a lot of things like that. I do revers you know reverse psychology. I do a lot of that you're extremely. manipulative I'm very manipulative and.

you're good yeah I'm I'm cra here's like. you know what you can do you were late. today again uh and and that's okay and I. don't mind it because I prep for it I. know it's coming but if I'm late once M. who throws a. fit yeah I know me yeah you're right. you're right bad bad bad bad bad yeah. I'm a bad guy no no no no I mean I do. things but that recognize that if we had. a tally Board of who plate I'd have one. tally and you'd be a tally my neck hurts. so bad right now why what happened it's.

stressing me out oh I'm sorry don't no. no stress no stress no it's fine no I'll. have a stroke in front of you it'll be. great I'll do a full-blown stroke in. front of you it's fine I think in fact. that would be um if I was going to have. a stroke I would have one in front of. you is that how you want to die a stroke. no but I just think that because it's. just part of my family history but um. who had a stroke in your family my dad. but Di no he didn't he didn't die cancer. no stroke but with the stroke was from. something didn't he have anything wrong. inside of.

him yeah he couldn't walk because of the. stroke but I thought he was. deteriorating because of something. inside he didn't have any dises please. please no I'm not joking whatever you're. doing right now dude is really hurtful. I'm saying I didn't why don't you listen. then did he have something else no he. had a stroke so the stroke is the only. thing that killed him he was there. there's complications after a but he. didn't have anything else otherwise no. pre-existing conditions of Health like. AIDS he had AIDS okay that that's what. I'm talking. about no my dad died from a stroke he. died from the comp because of the.

complications of a stroke because he. lived through the stroke yeah my my all. my my grandparents were all paralyzed. from the neck down from [ __ ] Strokes. wow I had a I had. my I'm G to tell you a [ __ ] up story. I'm ready did I ever tell you about the. the when my dad discovered marks on my. grandmother's body no no I don't think. so so my grandmother.

um I'm [ __ ] sweating right now wait. what so my grandmother lived in Korea. and she was paralyzed from the neck down. from a stroke for like 25 years oh my. God and they never left she never left. the living room of this like imagine. this old korean house with paper walls. we're in it okay thank you and um she. would just sit there on this like kind. of colorful pad up against a you know a. wall uhhuh and she just sit there cuz. she couldn't move so she would sit on. the floor and lean against the wall yeah. but she would always be smiling you know.

what I mean and um one day my. dad discovers welts all over her body oh. no right he goes he why you Grandma have. we you mean we don't. know do why she you beating H with her. why is she bleeding oh he thinks you're. you're beating and we're like What yeah. we don't what the [ __ ] you're right yeah. so like two days later he walks in the. room and my brother and I have sticks.

sticks. what you're hitting. her why because you couldn't feel it Bob. and she would just sit there and smile. right so with with sticks yeah you are. awful I know we're awful I have so many. stories like that are so [ __ ] weird. never on the face it shows on the face. you're right how can she go to work she. have to playing it. right yeah yeah you can't do it on the. face that's insane it's insane youd hit.

your grandma Yeah but and we I remember. getting in so much trouble yeah that. makes a lot of sense for hitting your. why you lying I CGH I caught you he saw. you guys doing it oh yeah you convinced. Steve poor Steve probably didn't want to. do it he Steve used to go to we'd go to. a McDonald's and even as a three. four-year-old 5-year-old as soon as he. could speak right he would literally. walk up to a fat person and go y you're. bad and just walk. away like he had one of those like he's. one of those kids that like just didn't.

have no filter yeah you you know you. walk funny and then just walk away like. he was a [ __ ] [ __ ] and then we had. to teach him not kids do that kids say. things they don't know any better and. they just say what they're feeling right. away right there's no filter yeah he. he's my brother's been doing that all. his life though and then we had to teach. him not to do it well yeah just to be. completely like I told I told this I. used to tell a joke about this a kid. when I we were playing basketball I had. really I had like horrifically bad acne. and we were playing basketball and it's.

even worse when I'm like in season I was. sweating and a little black kid in at. West Aurora at this high school he came. up to me in the hallway when I was. having to drink of water and he was like. man you pretty good for a white boy I. was like oh thanks and I thought he was. like a sweet little kid like a little. tiny kid I don't even know how old he. had have been maybe six seven I have no. idea yeah and as he's walking away he. goes hey white boy and I turn and he's. smiling already he goes what's all over. your. face yeah it I mean it like broke my.

soul what was it pimples. Bob oh really yeah I had such bad acne. he was what's all over your. face what did you say I said this is. part of the joke yeah yeah I said this. is what happens when your dad sticks. around. no he no but it it really hurt my. feelings when I was a kid it hurt my. feelings so much this little confident.

little tiny kid and I'm a teenager in. high school yeah what's all over your. face it hurt unbeliev like oh God it h. my soul acne I was acne ridden myself. you had it bad did you ever go on the. stuff no Accutane I did it I took it. even in my early 20s I remember like my. friends took it four times really and. that stuff like killed people really act. accan oh my God yeah people committed. suicide on it and they would they got. sued it was crazy yeah I would just go. go to work at like I worked at this. coffee shop called the panickin in La.

Hoya uhhuh and I would just have [ __ ]. zits and boils all over my face yeah cuz. I had no [ __ ] money dude I I I was so. stressed out well and had no soap I had. no money I had nothing and it's and and. and you can't take care of it yeah I. Accutane I I didn't have I I've never. seen a doctor at that time I didn't have. a dent that's why all my teeth are gone. because I was so poor for so long what. do you mean all your teeth are still in. your mouth no they're not smile no I. can't smile for me you know about my. teeth yeah but you your teeth are fine.

the teeth that you're seeing now I know. that yeah yeah are the only ones that. are there yeah that's the remnants. that's the have you seen back here the. back I've never seen I'll show you yeah. let me see but don't get too. close oh wow they're all gone yeah they. had left. town bye bye bye yeah yeah I mean I've. got this is you you can't see but my. teeth were so bad all I've got from from. here from the canines all the way back. uh what do you call them like crowns and. they're all yeah it's all fake nothing.

back here is real in fact one time my. dentist said to me uh he goes look dude. this is getting bad like he's I have to. keep fixing stuff because you just have. bad teeth and I was like well I don't. even eat sugar I'm not like a dessert I. don't do any of that he goes nothing to. do with that that's a lie it's a rumor. it's hereditary he's like you either. have bad teeth or you don't some people. have better some people never get. cavities yeah he goes just get veneers. and I said I don't know what I don't. know what that is I don't know anything. about him he showed me pictures of. veneers like if they're done right. they're good yeah but I scary because if. you get the bad ones if you get the bad.

ones you look like Matt Dylan from uh uh. uh from what is it called uh what's the. Cameron Diaz movie uh something about. Mary yeah I mean if you get bad veneers. you end up having these teeth the Matt. Dylan and this is all this I always. think of this whenever like I always. think about this movie whenever I think. about veneers yeah I love that movie so. good I love that movie you know the [ __ ]. was real in her hair Ben Stiller was. like I no he didn't want to do it unless. it was real that's not true yes it is.

he's a method guy he goes I don't I. won't do can I tell you what I did to. him. what so he liked this open micer yeah. like had a crush on her at The Comedy. Store yeah but I would I can't say her. name but um no should so he would come. just to see her wow and then he kind of. knew that I was like a regular or. whatever uhhuh and then so I don't know. why I did did this but one day you know. what I mean I wanted to wrestle him you. wanted to wrestle mat why I don't.

understand you were just in one of your. moods yeah you know how I do it yeah so. I kind of kind of got he's like get off. of me man he just kind of laughing yeah. but then like he started walking and I. clung onto his legs you got on the. ground no he was like I was on his legs. like this and he's trying to walk right. he go get off me and then he snapped oh. yeah he go get get off me. and I never saw him. again he never I never saw him there. again you know I mean there's always. those like little weird things he.

decided in your your mind like why did I. do that yeah why would you do that why. did I make that choice it's a really bad. idea yeah it was a bad idea it's a bold. leap but you have to try right mhm we. all have to try we all take shots yeah. see you're not you you're not old enough. to you're you're about to experience. these things in your 20s H you're about. to experience nightmar social situations. yeah get ready where you go where go why. did I do that you know what I mean. forget combination the way you said that. right I mean it's going to get it's.

going to get way worse way worse when. you start going to bars and meeting guys. and you start going out into the. workforce you know people are going to. be so awkward to you too especially now. that you're a superstar on the internet. um I want to show you a little gift that. was given to me some information that I. think you'll really enjoy honestly this. is really positive stuff um so let's. take a look at this little news report. that just came out moving on to a. different story now the average. headsight of Koreans has been supposedly. growing and growing over the past four. decades a group of researchers from a.

renowned local University claims to have. evidence to prove this phenomenon is. real Kim dami sheds light on how and why. this might be happening it's getting. bigger thanks to a better quality of. life and proper nutrition Koreans are. getting taller and bigger and so is. their head size researchers at Korea. University College of Medicine ran. magnetic resonance Imaging scans on 115. Koreans born in the 1930s and. 1970s and reconstructed their craniums.

into threedimensional. images so you guys are so Advanced. you've sped up to four decades what took. us two centuries you're six% that's. incredible in two in four decades are. you doing this honestly what no listen. in four decades doing are you calling me. a are you calling me a [ __ ] no I'm. just saying this is how Advance this is. not a slam or you're trying to POS it's.

positive Koreans obviously are more. advanced than us their heads are growing. at an at a beautiful rate the bigger the. head the better so your head they said. in the rest of this I don't want I can't. play the whole clip it's not that. entertaining but they said your head. right now as a Korean man will grow. before your death two to three times the. size of an average Western American I. just wish that like there are other. things that grew as well like your nose. are your ears. dick you're you had that shot and it. stopped no what I'm saying is is that.

why does it have to be the head oh why. does that have why does your why can't. everything grow um proportionately to. everything else well it sometimes does. for some people yeah but in this. situation it seems like the head is. growing get out of control it's the only. thing that's growing getting out of. control well cuz look I mean what we're. bigheaded people you're a little and you. are and but why is that even a slam why. would that's not even a negative thing a. slam I just wanted to show you this AR. but if you were like you know at a bar. and you walked up to you bigheaded lug. that would like people be like what you. call me it just makes me laugh to think.

if one day you do have kids and 40 years. from now if they get another 6% increase. how big your your child's head would be. I mean it would be very very very large. you already have a large Dome can you. wait what you're saying to me now is. what that if you saw me we didn't know. each other yeah and we were at let's say. um Wings some sort of wings Place uh. Buffalo Wild. Wings right right I'm at a table I'm. having a beer watching and you know come.

on let's go let's go tackle them hey man. keep it down Jesus Christ your head is. Big that's what you would was that is. that what you would. think no honestly is no I'd go hey man. what's up and I I turn to my friend I go. look at this bigheaded Korean [ __ ]. trying to talk I know but no but. honestly is that going to be something. that that you would think about sitting. down your head doesn't look big but. standing up it does all right so so what. you're saying is that I'm like a [ __ ]. wobbly headed gu I'm a bobble-headed guy. and have a very big head you don't have.

a very big head but it's big it's big. it's big proportion to your body Jules. is Tiny she has a small cuz she's a tiny. girl yeah yeah tiny body you're I mean. is Tito's head. big yeah yeah okay. okay okay you going be mad at her now. I'm a little mad all right you don't. think about it yet okay oh man you. should I mean thank you for playing but. also you're in trouble thank you for. playing but you're also in trouble so um. I you know I'm so glad that we did this. Voyage together oh this is you were done.

with the voyage yeah this is the end but. um but don't you think you need to carry. the voyage over no no I I think I. realize that you know cuz you know I we. talked about this guy yes on Instagram. and I realize that I don't give a [ __ ]. now I'm just going to be myself that's. what I like yeah because you know I. don't give a [ __ ] well you have to be. you it doesn't even matter we have to be. us it's going to be me and I'm just. going to do it look at me yeah I love. you I hate you hate you that's I'm. trying to be myself honestly yeah thank.

you for being a bad friend. [Music]. do.