Bobby Uncorked ft. Stavros Halkias | Ep 148 | Bad Friends

hey what up bad friends I am here in New. York City baby the big schmapple uh I'm. running around promoting my new special. my new special cheeseburger drops. tomorrow tomorrow on Netflix it is out. please watch it tell a friend tell. everyone you know sit back relax and. enjoy a cheeseburger with me on Tuesday. night on Netflix tomorrow please watch. it January 10th share with everybody you. know cheeseburger on Netflix also bad. friends just added a date go to. badfriendspod.com we're doing uh the.

Nashville Comedy Festival to start off. our tour it's the only day that we put. up so far outside of the three that. we're doing in February so go to. badfriendspod.com to see us come see us. in Spokane in Seattle and Vancouver and. then uh we are going to be starting the. bad Friends tour out there in Nashville. baby on 4 20. badfriendspot.com is where. you're going to get those tickets and uh. please watch cheeseburger on Netflix now. hey all you bad friends out there it's.

juicy jet ski Jeffrey ski mask whatever. you want Johnson. anyway after you watch Andrew's special. cheeseburger on Netflix come check me. out San Jose Improv January 18th I'm. headlining my own show. Do You Know the Way to San Jose. if not it's a really easy Google search. that's how I got directions to the club. okay hope to see you thanks for all the. support love you guys bye you two are.

bad friends who are these two idiots. [Music]. we're bad friends God has certain. prototypes body wise body wise. prototypes and this is the Maddie. Matheson you're a man it's a timeout. timeout first of all that's a friend of. mine but don't compare stop to Maddie. Matheson yeah no he took the body not. all fat bodies are the same. although he's explained he is a little.

titties big belly guy oh God that is. that is there's a I I think that is the. you know what actually I'm gonna do a. full 180 I'm actually on Bobby's side. here thank you because because I do. believe this is the best fat body to. have is little titties big stomach you. don't want to be too fluffy you want to. be hard yeah you want to be compact. smooth right look at my [ __ ] oh sexy dog. no ripples yeah and I weighs three. pounds are athletic I am shockingly. athletic yes yeah you can't run far but.

you're not fast yeah yeah yeah right. this guy he runs quick not fast quick. yeah is long-term like Gimli remember. the Lord of the Rings yeah he was like. catching up with Legolas that's the kind. of guy I am in a video game yeah yeah. the hammer the guy with a big hash. first of all shout out to stop so. Stavros is on the show today. who's got a calendar out right now 2023. that's right get it right now you. [ __ ] [ __ ] stommy.biz stop business. damn it's perfect fire I need to work. okay if I didn't look at the face like.

is that kick Moss no I need to work on. my yeah yeah no also stab's Mom baked us. cookies shout out to Little V a little. bit little feet little VC rules and. Bobby initially said some dumb [ __ ]. Bobby. no no you didn't I don't like homemade. cookies I'm not gonna eat it oh come on. lame you think he looks like that from. from not you think my mom doesn't make. good cookies whoa okay so explain this. to him because he doesn't know what. these are okay so we have three. varieties there we've got your classic. baklava baklava baby but actually and.

that's a that's a standard but actually. I think the other two are where my mom. really shines uh we have the kurabier. which is the little powdered sugar one. that's a butter cookie that's that's. just awesome. I am you know Stamos I wish I did that's. my he's your leader I know dude no. absolutely wait a minute Giannis Papas I. don't know how he's got to connect but. you and Giannis know each other we do so. he's talking Stamos yo.

it's [ __ ] Greek. you know Stamos he does he knows he. knows all sorts of weirdos. you watch your mouth about John Stamos. no no I just mean people. he's not gonna pick up for me of course. let's see if he does he wants to wakes. up say the correct way to say this stuff. yeah. there it is all right should I FaceTime. it yeah he's not gonna answer so you do. whatever you want these are so good.

they're really good and that's not even. our best cookie the brown one called the. Melo Market I don't know careful dude. yeah. wait What's this called stop. melocano it's an almond that one is that. one is a orange peel olive oil cookie. you're gonna love it damn bro tasting. this oh soak that [ __ ] in in uh. honey that's that's your magnum opus. [ __ ] John no no no no no. dude. he really embarrassed you he's a [ __ ] he.

diminished you in my eyes man he's not. the leader man you're the new leader. thank you you're the new leader dude I. appreciate that yeah can I tell you. something is this good I'm not kidding. so good it's so [ __ ] look at people. she's out of she's um this one that's a. great one no no the the brown one is her. best cookie though which one this one. right here just tell them how to say it. okay let's see.

that's not bad dude you were closer to. the end yeah I'm out time out. Drew Jan pop Yan pop you're on bad. friends right now Stavros is here okay. yeah sure yeah I should feel it the. Greeks are taking over bro this is their. thing this is their thing we're talking. in code that's true it's Kanye stuff. guys Jan I'm gonna say something real. fast and I love you to death. we just ate Mela.

mechanicanov made by his mom he's on. he's on some heavy Greek [ __ ] it's so. [ __ ] good I'm gonna throw this out to. you and I know you're with your family I. know it's late what time is it in New. York it doesn't matter midnight. Yanni answers for me you got a child. for dinner that's right sure that's true. yeah I gotta know real talk cause I love. you we're old friends how come you. haven't introduced staff to [ __ ].

Stamos. [Music]. do you hear me yes topless who's the. Trojan Horse that's coming through be. honest I just called you why didn't you. switch over. I just [ __ ] called you why don't you. switch over did you get my calls did you.

get my call I saw it I saw it coming in. I saw it coming in I saw it coming in. Bobby but I didn't even know you were. there I mean when you're there are you. even there. by the way let's be real how far how. close is Italy and Ireland to Greece. much closer than South Korea it's not. even yeah nice try and the thing about. Greek is they do have a very rigid. ranking of the races right and you're. not up there oh you in my personal. ranking Koreans are way up there okay. good give me give me the Greek ranking.

and I'm gonna I'm gonna give you the. Korean rank timeout. Giannis I love you I'll talk to you soon. you know what I don't actually think. ranking race is just another way to. start the podcast I think I've changed. my mind no no no that's how we start it. is on this spot yes he's great by the. way no no no no let's be honest the best. be nice to Little V be nice to love you. some of the best cookies I've ever had. homemade in my phone I'm trying to. convince you to go Bakery mode with it. 100. I wanted to open up a bakery it's. so good I'll I'll be honest with you yes.

please okay yes did I say it right you. close there you go he's never gonna get. it yeah I got it he nailed this I'll. never try the last name though no it's. not that hard give me give me a shot. hockey is Stavros. no even still you say it. Stavros. he rolled the r wow. Korean tongue dude I can't do that. [Laughter].

[Laughter]. does that affect you eating [ __ ] what. do you mean if you can't roll an R. that's not a good sign for how you eat. [ __ ] I don't mean yeah no no I don't. want to start our relationship.

you're right you're right but you know. what you know how about this though let. me make it a car analogy okay please. some cars have faster shift right what I. don't think. [Laughter].

some cars have stick shifts okay right. there you go like a uh Mustang. right sure sure right yeah and some cars. are automatic they're a smart car right. right I'm just going to say yes. one car goes faster than the other right. but they both get there. dude honestly.

there was a lot of like there was a lot. of scenery around there that was. unnecessary. we didn't need the stick shift there was. mainly a speed analogy yeah but I can't. roll the tongue but um I can do stick it. in the hole is that good show how you. eat boxes. are you being real though yeah all right. I need a thing then can I make a vagina. out of this yeah whatever you want all. right you know what you know what's cool. this is what I'm gonna do imagine like. you know David Fincher sometimes like.

you know like if Brad Pitt's legs are. pretty good it's looking he puts the. camera in the sink to look up right. right so imagine the camera's in the. vagina are you guys are you getting into. uh filmmaking yeah. so imagine that right so okay. oh. [Laughter].

[Laughter]. because Andrew was telling me that you. get a lot I do yeah yeah how is that. possible you just gotta believe in. yourself time out take a second take a. second go and insult my friend. I wasn't insulting it awesome here's the.

thing it was coming from a legit place. of Wonder from a little fat guy yeah. in your head you're asking me how do I. get girls right yeah well yeah I can see. it I can see originality I could see it. with you as well yeah I just wanted the. people to listen okay so let me be the. moderator as a not fat guy what do you. think he had what do you think he does. to get the puss and what do you think he. does to get the puss what do you think. his strengths are with the puss and what. do you think his strengths are this is.

good oh this is good this is good that's. a good exercise and I'm gonna be real. not funny please let's go real right. you're always not you're always real. [Laughter].

sometimes the pods have a really fast. do you believe that because of your. comedy and what you do for a living you. know stand up and potting this and that. gave you confidence enough to get the. girls. um it just it just initially probably.

thank you yes initially yes I'll give. you that yeah yeah but what I'm asking. you is is that the flow before your. Stavros yeah right probably was average. I still [ __ ] more than I should have. dude okay good but not much how many. times a year you think how many times a. year did I [ __ ] before the staff ask a. month how many times a month. oh [ __ ] month year yeah year a week how. many times a month is it more accurate.

how many times a month would you uh okay. let's see here. there see I started there was a there's. a real turning point when I got when I. was getting [ __ ] when I I moved out of. my family's house right that college I. had a college girlfriend I [ __ ] one. girl right the whole time red hair. [ __ ] freckles probably I wish that's. enough. college girl I did fantasy. they're always redheads.

long stockings Pippy long stockings. um let's say before I was popping I. could tell you actually I'll tell you in. the year there was one year before I. moved to New York yeah that was the. first time I lived with my friends not. outside of my house and I [ __ ] 10. girls that year and that was a nice one. a month almost. and that was a nice one for a fat guy. that's a great number I was any guy any. guy and he's dating two of them so I. slowed down you know dude let me tell.

you something I'm gonna it was a nice. year I'm gonna level that was the first. year of getting [ __ ] for me I'm gonna. bring this back down to earth oh let's. go ten guy ten ten girls. almost one a month for any dude good. looking dude even still a good nap still. a really good number interesting that's. a really good number yeah if you're not. if you're not gonna get [ __ ] let's get. specific yeah but even the go out and. get [ __ ] guy he's so aggressive he's. he's maybe getting three in one month. and he sent two three months you're. right right. yeah yeah you're consistent for my. information how many of those is raw dog.

oh boy well this was a while ago right. it's a deep cut this was. what years ago oh dude ten years was. they were no AIDS then no yeah I'm gonna. say I did buy a couple plan B's oh. actually you know what you know what I. had a very scary thing happen this is a. great this thank you for reminding me. this Kevin I was with uh so in that year. I dated two girls like kind of on again. off again regularly may I ask what race. uh they these were both white women [ __ ]. yeah I'm trying I was trying to go I was. trying to go white free 2022 and that.

blew up in smoke I was dating a Korean. girl actually and then she got a. boyfriend while I was on the road oh. [ __ ] yeah and I was dating a different I. was I was in a Mexican Korean Zone where. I had a little roster well because. they're kind of really I don't think so. yeah what do you mean Filipinos are the. Mexicans of of Asians yeah the. disappointment meter of your parents is. like more no no leaning one his mom's. busy making these cookies she don't give. a [ __ ] about who he's piping my mom is. very is actually very uh Progressive.

woman she would be happy if I Little V. Little V doesn't care if I came home. with a woman of any race she's so happy. stoked she wants me to have she wants. grandkids she doesn't care what color. they are God bless she's the [ __ ] she's. the best God bless move on. um so yeah. yeah so uh I was dating this girl and we. were watching that this was the year. that Jenny slate movie about getting an. abortion oh yeah I remember yeah yeah uh. Problem Child Obvious Child Obvious. Child obviously yeah Problem Child was. the little that was what I was in yeah. yeah that was my movie yeah yeah that.

was my foreign yeah so I had been dating. this girl for like two months and it. come in fully raw dogging her yeah just. fully didn't bust in because I was still. a little I was a gentleman I was a. little skit too scared when you say. fully is there a half way of doing it. yeah it's like what you do you put a. couple you took a couple swipes you're. like half him. what does that mean you're fully erect. penis only reaches half in I think is. what he's getting is that what your main. my dick size. Jordan.

there is there is a way to it was it was. a joke and you missed it no no I got it. yeah no I got it yeah yeah yeah yeah. well how big is your piece Bobby what. are you mad at Andrew for here that's. Bobby's penis is that not your penis is. that not your penis okay can I say. something is that or is that not your. opinion say yes or no fast yes okay. thank you. but in one step like is Bruce Banner. Hulk.

[Laughter]. all right so you're so by the way so yes. collect more information so you know all.

right well let me finish this one the. plan B the plan B Store yeah we'll. Envision so you're fully raw dogging. fully which by the way there isn't such. thing as kind of raw dog and that's when. you get like four pumps in before. putting the condom on shoot yourself to. a couple pumps. you're like come on you can't catch. [ __ ] I feel like yeah you feel like. Europeans do it that way yeah you know. what that's like that's like trying ice. cream at the shop. just a little yeah yeah. [Laughter].

I said I've just been maybe even a maybe. even I nutted once anyway. um. she we're watching this movie and it's a. Jenny slate has a you know and she's. like oh my God I just I could never do. that like I could just never have an. abortion but you just never had this. conversation I assumed I'm dating an. alcoholic in Baltimore we're both in our. early 20s like of course you're getting. an abortion and then I'm like oh well. that's kind of [ __ ] crazy that you're. telling me this but thank God you're on.

birth control and she was like I'm not. on birth control. and my life flashed before my eyes Bro. [ __ ] I was like she was Christian she. wasn't even she just like she probably. had Christian parents yeah probably some. something got into her head to be like. abortion is wrong and I'm not taking. birth control right right right anyway. that my whole [ __ ] life flashed. before my eyes oh my gosh that's crazy I. have just been absolutely no condom. whatsoever yeah just no event I wasn't. even thinking about writing on a condom.

for months so so this guy now though. he's being a good boy now but now I'm up. to 85 condom usage oh that's pretty good. number yeah. I literally don't know even know how. they work yeah I open it up I blow on I. don't know. I generally do yeah wow yeah he does. well Koreans don't get it well in Korea. I've never been a Korean with a thing. well you know in Korea comes with award. or anything like that condoms are. illegal they treat condoms in Korea like. menthol cigarettes here. right yeah they're illegal yeah they're.

against the law I don't have sex with a. lot of people no no why not. you could be having sex you could have. sex with many people as you want yeah. but you know what I have a ethic no you. don't is that how you say it you don't. have it I just sounded so you don't even. know how to say it I have ethic you. don't have anything yeah that's not the. way you use that word and you don't. that's not how you use that word I have. ethics I guess right and immorality yeah.

what is this tell them read it what it. says okay ethics is Right moral. principles that govern a person's. Behavior or the conducting of an. activity. you have some government Behavior. person's behavior of the con and by the. way guys stop using the podcast just. launched you're going to want to. subscribe this world you think you're. leaving you're not leaving it no no no I. know yeah you're getting more you get. the plug-in right up top establish you. don't want to be in a relationship. though uh I do I mean I was in one I was.

in one for a while how long we broke up. we were dating for like two years yeah. and then we broke up and I was on the. road right after the pandemic and I just. got my little titty socks from see the. shining sea for a little bit Yeah and. for me when I go on the road I can't get. it because I'm gonna close I can't open. and close in one night what do you mean. yeah you can no I can't I could open. hard but I can't close what I'm talking. about like I I because it's for me it's. like you know hey like let's say you're. a club okay all the all this stuff is. done for the work is done you were so. funny tonight oh you think so yeah what.

are you doing after this. um you want to be Instagram friends I. always do that yeah that sucks I mean. harder I make it more challenging I was. just gonna suck your dick yeah yeah okay. can I really let's just cut to the chase. right can we role play though or no I. want to play the girl. I love ship station because we Andrew. have an online company we expect station. and we rely on we want efficient yep.

trustworthy yep thing yes we do and. that's why we use shipstation to get our. merch to you guys we've been using it. for a long time and I got to tell you. something uh they have the best rates in. the industry and they just got even. better with 86 off USPS and UPS rates. it's not a question of if you should. switch to ship station but why you. haven't already shipstation helps you. get there faster whether you run a side. hustle or a giant Warehouse keep. customers happy and fulfill more orders. than ever all while cutting down. shipping costs and managing it all from.

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delivery fees with doordash subject to. change terms apply no. I thought he gets into character. actor Studio yeah just tuck your penis. into your balls. no no. yes. sir Korean women's ass are flat so I.

want to do the flat walk guys she didn't. have a flat Ash no she had a nice ass. she was shot he's saying she's hot act. hot this is. somebody get this frumpy [ __ ] out of my. line. hi hey how's it really Finance Dave. thank you I'm song hey. that sounds like a really cool not. racist name. I love your humor it's edgy. what's so many kids.

I have a little uh lychee fruit tits yes. you think maybe I could put those bad. boys in my mouth or what. both of them one at a time whatever your. preference is yeah but we're like we're. at a club at my hotel room I'm actually. staying right around the corner yeah yep. um how about tomorrow I'm really I'm not. gonna be around. it's all good it's tonight or nothing. but either way Knock knock hello.

could you never tell me your hotel room. number so I knocked on every single door. and this is the 40th door and I'm so. glad because I was gonna be like my last. one you see what he does yeah yeah. that's how he gets to suck on tits right. so it's true you want to suck on the. tits yep okay A little dirty why because. I just [ __ ] worked out pretty much I. went to every floor knocked on. everything so they're sweaty not dirty. yeah yeah oh yeah can I sprinkle them in. the faucet no no I need it.

all right like all the sauce yeah okay. let me get some fun all right first tip. you want to start with uh. oh man they're kind of smaller than I. was expecting yeah anyway with this one. yeah I guess yeah hey you want to just. go ahead and just suck me off. well that's how you do honestly yeah. that is legitimately though yeah I am. just like hey do you want to come in my.

hotel room dude they say no get rejected. yeah we'll get rejected and in the hotel. room hey you want to suck me off do you. get rejected there in the hotel room I. do not care but you say that directly. hey you want to suck me off if someone's. coming to your hotel at [ __ ] midnight. what do you what do they think is. happening yeah they all know what's up. they know and here's the other thing. Bobby that you that you should do put. out a sexual Vibe look at the calendar I. handed you oh I mean that's a guy if. you're coming to that guy she'll tell. him you don't think you're sucking his. dick. oh I get it see I've put it up animals.

exactly you love the animal yeah yeah. I've put it out into the world that this. is what I'm into and if you're if you're. responding to it you you're that's all. about the score let me ask you Andrew. but don't but don't you get it though. like this is what I say to you he I was. once like you his yeah I was as a youth. I don't know why the [ __ ] I honestly I. would expect you to [ __ ] so much more. I'm saying I see it in you I see [ __ ]. getting in you yep I really do you know. but I'll be honest with you can I say.

something please I'm more of a. relationship guy are you or is that. where you're telling yourself oh. interesting interesting. interesting interesting you might be. ultimately you might be but I think also. you wouldn't mind getting [ __ ] a lot. for six months well does that sound bad. you know that's okay. 24 different tits in a six month period. does that sound bad to you. [Laughter]. um but can I say something it's just. that um I think it's me like I don't I.

get weirded out by people you know I. mean and like you know they'll say. certain things and they'll just get. weirded out and I can't do it okay I. just I think that's just a weird guy. what do you mean that's you are a weird. guy for sure but yeah you can't [ __ ] no. it's like you know I've never seen Star. Wars that'll throw me off. oh here's a good dude you're in luck the. internet is flooded with like autistic.

girls that just realize you could be. horny yep that's everywhere Spectrum. it's big oh really yeah the trans girls. a lot of trans people we're like can we. get you on Love on the Spectrum would. you do that show do you think I have it. no you got something but I don't know. what do you think I have Down syndrome. Down syndrome I'm not racist. I know you don't have Down syndrome I. don't know dude yeah you I watched that. show none of them yeah deal for me yeah.

are you into trans girls at all a lot of. like there's a lot of sci-fi trans girls. on the internet I'm serious would it be. describe well you guys started it it was. an Asian thing what trans or sci-fi no. sci-fi combination honestly both. the combination is your style of Asian. but yeah yeah you guys started it that's. on you guys uh yeah like a like a chick. who's a horse with a dick and like five. heads that's you guys dude oh wait we. did it in animation style though but but. you wanted it to be real you think so.

yeah that's why you animate stuff you. wish that was real argue that is there. is there a is there a like a Korean. hentai culture too but it's not that far. away so you know I mean Japan so it's. pretty close yeah but those guys Japan. [ __ ] your asses you guys don't like. them right like I saw I saw an anime. where the an octopus was [ __ ] you. know I mean six Japanese girls with each. you know what I mean yeah right that's a. classic and if I saw that in real life I. would just be like cold anymore.

[Applause]. right I don't know you don't know until. you're in that situation yeah. all right right once you've called the. Coast Guard then you're like all right. they're on their way all right. I've already I've done my due diligence. they come at the same time whether I. bust or not right who am I hurting. sometimes you just want to see it in. anime I get it yeah yeah all right so. how about this let's get back to square. one okay well let's get an off course. enough information yeah what do you.

think is the the key nugget for why he. pulls and what do you think is a key. nugget for why he pulls I got it for. sure all right stop give it to him do. you want to go first go ahead okay thank. you I think by just being a cute little. guy cute little guy a little statue no. no I just mean uh spiritually he could. be six eight he'd be a cute little guy. right you know what I mean he's got like. a especially the relationship thing now. is it maybe a bit of a crutch because I. was that guy when I couldn't when I was. I didn't believe my I didn't want to put. myself out there I'm telling you I.

listen uh could I just say something. right now dude yeah stop right there. dude okay you're beginning to piss me. off because of my accuracy. [Laughter]. we're the same guy I'm trying to tell. you you're acting as if you're above me. I a little in terms of getting your dick. sucked I know but this is my [ __ ]. house. I'm gonna allow it but you're saying. there's feelings being aroused okay all.

right so go ahead okay what I'm telling. you is I when I college girlfriend why. did I only [ __ ] one girl in college. could I [ __ ] more yes I didn't want to. put myself out there I didn't want to. get rejected so I slowly built up this. this relationship and yeah was it. meaningful because I you know I fell in. love all this stuff yes but also it was. safer my feelings didn't get hurt I. didn't make a move until I was like a. thousand percent sure this girl like. that right and there is a little bit of. that to being like now some people are.

just serial monogamous right is that. what you really are or do you just not. want to because rejection does hurt bro. I was at The Comedy Store a month ago. he's asking there was a girl in the. audience right she was super hot right I. wrote a letter a letter. you took out a pen yeah I went to no I. went to the office and I wrote the. letter you typed it no I just wrote it. down Bobby what you don't write yes but. I swear I gotta you you can you you can. one of these guys Carlos Carlos wrote it.

for you no no no no no Carlos you penned. it [ __ ] oh you can call Ari Madness. right now and ask him about the letter a. handwritten note I'm gonna say a letter. I put boxes okay. oh that's cute do you like me yes or no. whatever you know what did it say it. says Hi I think you're cute do you like. me yes or no who is this to the girl. from the audience all right so go on and. I go here's my phone number you know I. don't normally do this. and ask Ari I gave it to her she went. she gave me a face like yeah and I see.

her reading an audience she folded back. up and I'm sitting in the bath back. booth and I saw her drop it on the floor. brutal did that hurt yeah no yeah you're. lying yeah. but you know what I still gave it a shot. yeah you have to okay so I do do it. that's step one though oh there's more. steps yeah look her in the eyes when you. ask that's right oh so I thought the. letter was bad letter was bad but. because you know what I would have to. wait to the end of the show you know you. don't want any weight no sure or you.

have to sit by the women's bathroom you. tried to get her to you tried to get her. in the middle of the show she paid money. for you were like hey do you want to get. at it I was first. you watched 12 minutes of Comedy no. that's why I give her my number that's. why I just gave her my number I go like. later yeah right I mean and I go and so. she never called and she dropped the. thing well I would say a lot of in it's. okay if you're not a conventionally. attractive man a conventionally handsome. man but you are some women think I I. think I'm very handsome okay my friend.

Holly is here she thinks Holly. do you think I'm handsome. thank you do you employ her by any. chance no no no no she's she but she is. blind no. Holly thank you no she thinks you're. handsome he or attractive he wasn't. saying that he's saying conventionally. which means a vast majority of the. public would agree that means like like. Brad Pitt is conventionally hot we just. all know no matter who you are no matter.

how straight you are you'd go that guy's. hot it just doesn't matter what I'm. saying is you are your cute guy but also. what's going to put you over the top is. your Vibes yep okay you have you have uh. uh isolated you've basically taken away. your biggest Advantage with that letter. because the [ __ ] the person to person. contact is what you have going for you. listen up dude that's true [ __ ] you okay. he's right he might be yeah [ __ ] you. because you're a magnetic person can I. make an argument though please sure all.

right I had already crushed she got the. vibe no no no but that wasn't for her. that was for everybody he's saying you. got attention on her and you're right. though you you need to convert that. you're exactly you've done the hard part. you've made the the nice first. impression you just going with any kind. of [ __ ] conversation you'll know if. she wants to [ __ ] you or not yeah have a. have a [ __ ] hey what's up how's your. day anything I don't want to [ __ ] first. night she may not want to either but. maybe it's just putting out the five. it's weird okay that's fine that's fair. fine yeah I don't know I don't know.

we have a philosophical difference here. also some women are crazy you don't know. on the surface you're like oh this is a. Christian but like she's a crazy person. and behind the closed doors you know. what I mean yes they'll spit in your. face and like you know what I mean choke. me and like every every girl I find like. wanted to be choked in the last in the. last year that choking is a that's a. cultural standard it's an American. culture it is yeah is would that still. be considered Christian now right oh.

yeah all right joking are you a big. Christian huge Christian no but I love I. love missionary that's my favorite. position sure is choking in the Bible. ask if choking's in the Bible I bet how. many choking how many girls are into it. 80 of women want your hand around their. neck at some point are you being real. that's what the internet says and that's. never wrong. I know but here's my thing it's like let. me okay I'm okay. through it right okay I'm doing my. favorite position missionary oh yeah. right and I'm looking at her not her.

favorite but go ahead yeah yeah it. doesn't matter no I know it's what you. want yeah I get it in you know how you. do yeah no you do it not me two. different guys. you don't stick it in well you've got to. be so close to get it all the way down. there you're in do it again sorry go. ahead sorry you're [ __ ] right so I'm. [ __ ] right all right right do you. have a secret moving missionary do you. do anything special I do this move. yeah is that what they call it yeah.

so then I'll do that move right and then. I'll go and then so my mind I'm like. okay I'm gonna do the token 80 I mean. what could go wrong. let me ask you my question do you go. right in yeah or do you like kind of. move your hand up on the shoulder you do. a shoulder and then you just okay they. got I got her on the neck and how hard. do you squeeze pretty hard as hard as. you can yeah. wait you squeeze as hard as you can wow.

my father was a carpenter his father was. a construction worker my dad was Blue. Collar as well what did he do he hit you. yeah. he worked on him and his mom all day.

long yeah. yeah yeah no but he what he's saying to. you is go crazy go crazy have fun first. night missionary choke Bobby you deserve. it I'll go to prison. no jury on Earth is convicting that. little face. you give him those puppy dog eyes. ready say what I'm the judge I'm the. judge yeah yeah and you're defending. yourself right okay Mr Lee we saw that.

you choked out a woman nearly to death. how do you how do you please. not guilty look at these hands do with. an accent how do you played oh I have. access how do you plead Bobby Lee. I'm not guilty oh get him out of here. he's good why am I hyping he's good to. go no cause you I you all got to go high. pitch that makes you sweet and innocent. right because there's at several. different Asian accents let me try to. blow pitch see how that works all right. Mr Lee you choked a girl almost to death. how do you plead look at these hands.

more like. [Music]. I know something's off there. I want you to I want you to try a stove. method in fact I've said this to you. before we've had this conversation I. wish stav wrote a book on the stove. method of how to do all this [ __ ]. sexually and I want people to try you. know you know the game thinking about it. the hard dick Warriors way. I'd read it I'd be the first guy.

remember that the game Neil Strauss yeah. we talked about this yes I was like why. would hasn't someone done that that was. 20. I met that guy right Neil Strauss I. met him but that was 20 years ago how. come no one's done a book like that. since. mine is not uh the the it's not like. focused around tricking women right. that's psychological yours is just. here's a here's a way to do this and to. do it cool without being annoying yeah. yeah absolutely like in this in that. book right that stuff that's Frost book.

yeah my roommate my first roommate in. L.A read the film there's a thing where. it's like if you're at a bar right and. you see four girls you look at the one. that's hot but then you make you but. then you make fun of the one that's hot. to the to the right and then you hit on. the other ones right is that one of the. moves yeah no that never works fine. listen listen that's not in the hard. dick tell them what the hard dick. Warriors was just go up there you start. having a good time with the whole crew. whoever gives you the vibe you [ __ ] her. yeah that's it you let them decide for. you right I was in Seattle and I hung.

out with this group of friends I. couldn't I think I could have [ __ ]. like three of them and then we just. stayed out all night and I was like God. it's like [ __ ] it's 3am we're just. drinking in a public park you know it. was fun it was a good time and then I. just couldn't really I couldn't really. make a move we were all having a good. time and then we just were walking away. and just the one closest to me I was. like. when I come back to my hotel room and. she was like. yeah and that was it that's so good I.

had a nice night with all of us as a. master that's the hard dick Warriors. you're right you know what you're just. convinced me I love this we're gonna get. you so much can I say this yeah you're. the master okay and it can I be your. number one student absolutely so. basically when you have a class and you. people walk in the dojo I'm like next to. you yeah. also I want to like okay here's the. foundation is not it's gonna get in the. way you're getting [ __ ] what your need. for validation is going to get in the. way you're getting [ __ ] but just for. this one thing no can't do it yeah give. me a different belt too no you don't get.

a different Bell I see why you don't. [ __ ] now I can see it right now I'm not. asking for Blackness. with a stripe if I was a woman. here's what had just happened I was a. woman that was about to [ __ ] you yeah. and now I'm I'm out you know oh yeah. okay let me get that I'll just attend. your class I don't care what position. I'm in look at that also can I tell the. other guys I know him no Bobby what you. can't wait listen it's a risk if it gets. back to me you're [ __ ] all right. yeah don't tell them.

don't ever tell them don't [ __ ] me. a hard dick Warrior yeah yeah you know. this guy oh yeah okay hold on excuse me. Mr Stavros this guy says he knows you. Bobby OH ZIP and now you gotta do. something for me oh no. you got it.

[Laughter]. you're just a man maybe I'm 18. okay. yeah all right hey Master hey clip my. name's clip you're handsome I know. you've been in my class for months now I. love it thank you so much thanks for.

sending me book anyway um yeah you know. um women you know I've used I've applied. your rules to women situations you know. and um it doesn't take you know they. just they don't like me and I just wanna. I just want to bash them over there no. no. come on too much clippy yeah yeah but. you but what I'm saying is some of these. in cells right you will have them in. your class sure right and the resort to. violence what do you say well we kick. them out hopefully we don't get they. don't get the violence right right. here's the thing about the hard dick. Warriors Way getting [ __ ] is a small.

amount of it oh it really is you're. blowing my mind it really is is there. money you couldn't you learn you can. teach us how to make money with three. easy payments of 49.99 I can tell you. the rest wow. DraftKings hey the NFL playoff picture. is locked and my go-to place for Wild. Card round action is DraftKings sports. book and official sports betting partner. of the NFL to kick off the road to the. Super Bowl 57 baby new customers can bet. just five dollars five five dollars and.

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off when you sign up today that's a 14. ounce Port tenderloin two pounds of. ground turkey and four top sirloin. steaks free in your first box sign up at. butcherbox.com plus bad friends that's. butcherbox.com bad friends use the code. bad friends to claim this offer but. truly it's like if you feel depressed. and you feel like a [ __ ] piece of. [ __ ] you're not gonna you're not you're. putting out bad vibes it's all a Vibes. based philosophy right so you got to. take care of your own [ __ ] yeah man and. once you start progressing on anything. clippy right whatever clippy's up to.

what's up man okay what are you trying. to work on clippy hey man I'm just you. know what master I try to improve my. vibe okay and that's why I'm doing this. right here. you don't need hands up yeah yeah I love. rock we all do it that's the KKK oh oh. [ __ ] my bad yeah so I'm just trying to. work on my vibes your vibes okay but do. you have um. I don't know what do you read a book. okay here I read your book from my.

audiobook oh I don't actually read it no. oh okay but I love your voice that's why. good job on narrating thank you clippy. are you trying to [ __ ] the hard dick. I'm not gay man no no it's cool it's all. right if you are yeah it's way EAS if. you are that would help us out it's. getting [ __ ] is so much easier. you know what on a dessert an island I. would [ __ ] you can you imagine a book A. book about getting [ __ ] in the first. page you just said go out that's it yeah. yeah leave the house but like how do I.

improve my vibe uh Master well well. clippy and this is uh it's very. psychological healthy that you have to. keep doing characters to ask me. questions. clearly you're just wondering. is there something you want to work on. do you want to go to the gym do you want. to read a book do you want to become a. cinephile you know what I mean are there. other movies you want to check out the. more you start feeling like you're. improving in your life the more. confidence that'll give you and that.

will improve your Vibe and sometimes. give you something to talk about clip. you got some good stuff there thank you. so much no problem. 49.99. that's interesting that's how that's how. those that's how those big church people. work though it's brilliant like that guy. did you see this clip that went around. the internet about it one of the. Evangelical guys that he was talking. about how expensive his watch was he was. like dude it's so funny to their face. he's like this watch this watch is more. than my first house and they're cheering.

they're like the Prosperity Gospel he. goes this is this is 89. these guys. drive me a thousand dollars I know it is. it's insane I mean I respect it it's. such an incredible racket by the way. they bought into it I think it's that. guy Kenneth Copeland maybe that's the. guy but it's like I don't feel bad for. those [ __ ] people they bought into. the system yeah they're paying to be. there he's being blatant about it he's. just like listen I'm stealing money from. you and they're like yeah [ __ ] Jesus. Christ This Could Be You Someday but you.

know what I do want to do with you. though while they're Googling this yeah. is that guy that you know the guy that. um takes he's like an exorcist so he. goes to like you know you see that he. goes to the Midwest it's on YouTube and. they [ __ ] oh here it is look at this. [ __ ] demonic voice okay watch this. yeah I'm hesitant to say I don't want to. say God I'm gonna get all kind of crazy. I'll let people fight me you'll have. jewelry cost more in your house. I got them to their [ __ ] they're. clapping I'm telling you listen to me. I'm I'm telling you my first house costs.

14 700 I'm giving you a chance to write. your checkout fourteen Thousand Seven my. second house called 81 900 and this. watch costs more than that God he's. awesome. [Music]. no no. to laugh at it to be like this is more. than all of you making six years and the. laugh and then the congregation's like. it's the best that's the CR that that to.

me I don't blame them at all I don't. blame him at all if you're buying into. that you're a [ __ ] fool I mean that's. America [ __ ] dude I don't mean to get. all [ __ ] give it to me college give. it to me give it to me but that is the. thing it's like you know everyone every. poor [ __ ] thinks they're gonna. be a billionaire right so you never you. never want to hold them accountable. because you're like well when I'm ultra. Rich I'll do that I want to do that well. that's like that uh what's the guys. garyvee it's like there's there's a.

what's the other guy's name that does. that a lot uh Grant Cardone there's like. a group of guys online that are like if. you're not [ __ ] hustling if you're. not making [ __ ] six million a year. you're a [ __ ] worthless piece of [ __ ]. you're a [ __ ] fat loser [ __ ] [ __ ] and. your wife is ugly and your kids are. [ __ ] dumb [ __ ] make six mil or kill. yourself dog garyvee it was his dad's. liquor store that he like took over is. that his thing yeah yeah well but this. thing it's like he's like I was he tells. people I worked at a liquor store and.

it's like no you owned it you owned the. liquor store like that that is the big. difference I can't not make fun of this. guy because he's like no I mean here's. steel it's like [ __ ] you gotta. [ __ ] sell your shoes he was big on. nfts too which which turned out to be a. real [ __ ] fart yeah yeah that's a. real [ __ ] scam that dude that was. that I walked with a buddy of mine the. other day I was taking a walk having. coffee with a friend and he he stopped. me and he goes dude I ca I can't be. happier than realizing how good it is to. be behind the times when it comes to.

nfts because he was like he didn't buy. any crypto nfts and he was like man am I. a dummy I'm behind the times he's like. I've never been happier to be behind the. times type of a guy who didn't get. [ __ ] like people that bought like 50. Grand worth of uh board ape [ __ ] and now. it's worth like six bucks. that sucks and Justin Bieber and all. those guys are getting sued yeah you. know this FDX because they they paid. them right to to [ __ ] basically. promote it it's basically shorting a. stock it's like inflating inflating. inflating to be like [ __ ] you take all. the money and then they leave Paris.

Hilton says it's good yeah yeah I got it. so I think it must be fun you remember. that video of Jimmy Fallon and Paris. Hilton plugging their board Apes no on. The Tonight Show yeah no I think yeah. for real and it was the most awkward. they clearly didn't believe it right. they did it on The Tonight Show it was. [ __ ] crazy dude but yeah this I mean. it's it's all such [ __ ] dog [ __ ] and. it's the only the only reason that. happens is because of life in America is. such dog [ __ ] that you're like well. maybe everybody wants to hit that. everybody wants to hit the lotto because. it's all or nothing here there's no good.

quality of life anymore right no middle. no middle class we gotta change the. culture then guys I agree you know what. though right this capitalism cannot be. the main oh shut the [ __ ] you're right. you're right capitalism isn't the thing. it's the [ __ ] it's the fact that. people are being sold so many lies. that's the problem it is religion used. to be capitalism right it's the thing. that controls the masses right dumb. people stop it what I mean religion run. people religion okay right and now they.

use capitalism to do it and to enslave. us all and we just got to figure out how. to just you know I agree with you Bob. become free yeah how do you become free. don't do the gadgets don't buy this. stuff you do all of it you're smart with. the [ __ ] shoes today yeah you're. smoking a vape with an iPhone. anymore you're not a slave yeah I am no. you're not yeah because it's like. there's somebody like you're free he's. in a nice cage. and watching Deep Space Nine on Star. Trek right the other day right so I was.

doing something else I was listening to. music online can you imagine how. offensive it is to slaves to say that. you're a slave while you Huff a vape and. play video games for nine hours a day I. don't sleep till 4 P.M. I want to wake up wake up yeah and I. want to be a zombie anymore I text you. at 2 p.m wake up you're not in the. Matrix I want to wake up though dude. lies I do okay you know what yeah then. you talk that talk yeah talk that [ __ ]. we're gonna go I like being slave. [Music].

it's so ridiculous when you say stuff. like that it's not I've been on the. Peloton so many times when how many this. week how many days I can't sleep without. it how many hours a day I do 45 minutes. what do you mean you can't sleep without. it. I need to exercise during the day or I. don't feel tired. okay I took myself out yeah we're gonna. go hiking this weekend I'd love to no no. pleasure okay we want to go one Hill.

we're doing the hard one me you and. Marin are gonna go do the hard one I'm. not doing the Maryland yes you are I'm. not doing the America yes you are no no. no it's a white one huh there's an Asian. one there's a Green Hill there's a green. hill over here yeah over there yeah. Korean [ __ ] out there in Korea Town. you can just go in Koreatown you can. just go from like uh driving range to. driving range to Korean barbecue place. no it's like Wilshire to you know. Olympic to you know what I mean it's. like there's a street you were from. chosen Gobi yeah yeah yeah.

you guys work for me too right this is. not the way to go about it yeah yeah I'm. trying to fix it you know we're working. together. so don't even know you're like I'm your. boss yeah you can't have thoughts but it. has changed here we go he's a morning. person now what he's a morning person. now oh wow I'm moaning person now.

that's what he said what time are you. waking up I woke up today. noon noon yeah no today I that isn't the. morning the morning's over by noon. morning no I woke up at nine in the. morning so what to piss no bathroom I. tried to lay back so I didn't sleep. that's because your body woke you up to. go hey we got we're supposed to get up. now that's exactly and you still were. like no no no no no no yeah I tried I. don't know but then he said yes yes you. know and I got up what's your schedule. what's your schedule stop it's all over. the place right now because I'm.

traveling so [ __ ] much but you're not. a guy who I feel like you're not like a. you're not you're not like a oh I slept. in till [ __ ] 2 p.m I can't anymore I. mean I've been sober on this leg of the. tour because the last one [ __ ] me up. so bad yeah so I try and get like today. for example got up [ __ ] [ __ ]. shredded my [ __ ] buys and tries. worked out in the at the hotel gym. and then I got a little smoothie. a little smoothie and then I've just. been doing [ __ ] pods and [ __ ] all day.

what's your okay what's your bad boy. meal on the road that you know you're. not supposed to have but you're but you. do have it you're like I don't give a. [ __ ] I gotta have it it's my bad boy. meal I'm a bad boy meal what's your. little naughty boy I love I mean. honestly this this trip I have fallen. off the wagon because the end is in. sight like next week I had so much I. launched this podcast I did Rogan last. week I did [ __ ] I'm I'm here to do. like a bunch of other La shows and I go. straight to Vermont to do six shows and.

then I have to do four [ __ ] episodes. of my podcast and then I'm off for like. four weeks yeah so it's like a busy. thing so I did Relapse I because I was. just so overworked and last night I hit. the the classic like. just make a [ __ ] up dessert out of. whatever's in the in the hotel mini like. front you know what I mean in the front. Zone. peanut eminent I did a little peanut M. M's Rice Krispie Treat like [ __ ] oh I. would I would purse I personally created.

double like Eminem and then I put a. little ball of Rice Krispie around it. how did they not sell that I was in. there doing fat boy you know. confectionary when you when you're. eating a fat boy confection after. hitting uh I was walking around the. neighborhood after hitting a Shake Shack. by the way good boy God bless you so I. did have uh when you single though when. you eat in bed like that you're in the. bed yes I was on the couch okay so you. can I say this this honestly I think. what what thwartz uh real bad boy fat.

boy stuff is being out of the bed gotta. be out of the bed if you can do it on. the couch or in the chair in the. computer chair it does something yeah. yeah yeah it changes how much more. you're gonna eat oh because when I would. be on the road at the beginning and I. gained like 12 pounds last what last. year on the road it's because I would. eat in bed yeah and in bed you're like. it's okay yeah it's okay yeah well it's. just comfort zone well once you've. crossed that Rubicon you're [ __ ]. you're [ __ ] you're [ __ ] and until. this week I did have like I was actually. pretty strict about my Road schedule. where I'd wake up early work out or go.

on a walk right I would actually prepare. and then I would [ __ ] take a nap look. over my notes again. and and do that but like the last last. like couple weeks I'm so but you're the. end is near for you the end is it's fine. you you paid your dues and then and then. we're getting another [ __ ] big ass. tour fat Rascal tour folks go to the fat. go go watch the fat Rascal we're in. theaters baby we're selling tickets out. there we're going too. the bad Friends tour is about to be. announced we're inches away in fact we. already have a couple of dates that.

we're going to do we're doing Vancouver. we're doing just for laughs in Vancouver. are you coming March and April no he's. not it's Carlos is coming who's our guy. Wilson Carlos okay can we say why you're. not coming yeah we said it already we. did right yeah small [ __ ] is about to. be a papa yeah congratulations I'd like. to be a papa Mazel Tov well I'll come a. couple days it's going to be legal it's. Davos yes. um what podcast did you do earlier today. I was actually on my uh friend Hassan's. stream oh really yeah yeah who else this. week what have you done.

um my Brogan came out today I did um Joe. Rogan yeah I did Fred Rogan oh yeah I. love that guy yeah he's a he he's he's. an eclairs podcast right so we talked my. question is it clear is this your. favorite one so far I'm having a blast. on this one yes no other you've not had. fun as much fun as this one no this is. this is so much fun we come in here well. because this we get you [ __ ] we figure. out okay I learned so much he brings us. cookies yeah yeah I want honestly I want.

you to [ __ ] so like it so deep in my. soul truly I really why did you roll. your eyes I've done it so many times. yeah I'm so good in there no here's the. thing I am dude it's so [ __ ] funny. that you say that because every girl. looks at me and goes that's surprisingly. good I didn't say one word yeah like. like Carl Lewis level Carl Lewis the. Sprinter yeah athleticism you know you. could you could have said somebody from. this from the last time.

Michael Richards the swimmer Michael you. do a Michael Richards bit right after. you come. but anyway I'm very good no no but he uh. I I'm sensing something what is it I. don't know I don't like it but I'm right. go ahead you know what you don't like is. the how accurate how I could have been. so far this whole time be honest I don't. even know you personally we just met. this is the first time we let's for the. viewers yeah and listeners the first.

time we ever even talked yeah yeah yeah. yeah and already we have this like we. have a bond it's a bond but it's also a. clash it's not a clash listen once this. is I this is I think this is how you are. right once you thrash around a little. bit you'll realize how close we are yeah. okay let me see let me figure that out. you know what he's doing you know what. he's doing all right what's that you. know when you know what they say when. somebody's like. um uh fallen off of a raft or something. and they and they they thrash in the. water because but if they realize if. they sit still they won't drown right. it's this that causes the drowning yeah.

or or the my feet can actually touch the. ground. yours know no chance that's right. yeah so I'm splashing around right oh. I'm not drowning but listen just stop. splashing all right relax now can I do. the splashing first though go ahead go. ahead. close your eyes close your eyes close. your clothes that's racist. close your eyes okay relax they're. closed.

that one yeah yeah now listen all right. so listen. you're the Lifeguard you're the. Lifeguard sure sure. stop listen to the hard dick Warrior. all I'm saying is Bob there is something. in you right you're not dictating the. amount you want the [ __ ] now the amount. you want to [ __ ] could be could be small. you might not want to [ __ ] that much but. I don't think you're deciding I think.

you're a prisoner to some outside forces. that I can't look at him wow you're back. stroking. you thought you were dying now you're. butterflying through the ocean. yeah water in my mouth can you believe. how good you're doing yeah you're doing. so good you're doing so good all it took. was words of affirmation. in my head that's great it's amazing. you're right you know we do have a bond. that will never be broken it will never. be broken never ever ever again for the. rest of time I love it.

um no after this can I get your number. yeah you can actually that's a real test. this is how it works you honestly can. and will you pick up if he calls you I. will I will yeah he's a law this dude's. a loyal [ __ ] yeah you know what. dude let me say something bud please. and this has only happened a couple. times in my life sure maybe 10 times but. I met a lot of people. instantly cheap. [Laughter]. weird bragging.

only 10 times right well I went. instantly instantly went you know what. this guy is somebody I'm gonna know for. the rest of my life that's what I like. to hear yeah yeah we'll be there yeah. it's pretty good because he's got it. like that I'll be your I'll be I'll be. there dude I love Harry thumbs I don't. have very thumbs no but your body is. like a hairy thumb. like it's just like one thing you know. what I mean. you know but with hair it's great he's. just sexy you know like the thing like. that what's that the cousin cousin is.

cousin it you've shave them down a. little bit cousin they yeah okay yeah. look can I show you I've always I've. been in love with style for a long time. and we've just gotten to know each other. in the recent years but I will say this. when I saw this look up Stavros. toothless. this is where I learned to fall in love. with this guy I'm judge I'm dead serious. we go images I saw him on the internet. post a clip like this oh yeah there it. is bald with his tooth out yeah had no. tooth for two years and I was like dude.

I love that that's a good look dude that. was a power tell them what happened I uh. I had something called tooth resorption. and the final thing that took my tooth. was I cracked it on the chicken wing. pretty pretty like Wing or the bone. Winger Wing was it a Winger I believe it. was flatty yeah I believe so because I. ate the rest of it by peeling off the. wing and like throwing it into the back. of my mouth and gingerly chewing like I. was in excruciating pain but I was only.

like three wings out of a ten Wing order. in so I finished them yeah. but when you lose a tooth like that do. you do you get upset like oh my God I'm. a comic I'm on TV I mean does that bump. you I don't know he put a bit up on TV. that's what I get that's what I'm saying. no I thought it was awesome I was I was. actually stoked to do it to have a bid. on with no tooth I was actually pissed I. was supposed to film my half hour in May. 2020 and it was gonna I was gonna fix my. tooth right after it and I was like. that'll be awesome my half hour I'll be.

yes and then the pandemic happened and. then you guys [ __ ] it all up but. otherwise it was good. [Laughter]. do you remember the videos from like. Wuhan like because they all followed. directions in a year and they're having. like music festivals and [ __ ] yeah we.

were like what the [ __ ]. it was like half the world was like dude. all you got to do is chill for one. minute and then you'll be all good and. we were like [ __ ] that [ __ ] yeah we. prohibitioned that [ __ ] we kept it. moving [ __ ] it dude sneak it under the. floorboards that's true this is when I. this is when I was like oh man I knew. exactly who you were in terms of like. how if there's something about Comics. some comics and you embody this for real. you are an extremely funny stand-up. comic I am kissing your ass thank you. brother but also because uh. I think not taking yourself that serious.

is is important so if you can kind of. [ __ ]. if you can get to a level where you let. yourself kind of not give a [ __ ] like. that yeah yeah and the great the great. you're in the Free World the great uh. the great the worst thing that will ever. happen to me is that I was never. toothless with a bald ponytail that's. that sucks that sucks that really sucks. yeah I'm never gonna get toothless again. I mean it was nice I had a nice run but. yeah one of my dad's buddies growing up.

he was balling a ponytail bald with a. ponytail is clutch power it's an inch. it's a kind of guy power move it's a. power move but by the way you do have to. then everything else your clothing the. car you drive you have to be that guy. you kind of have to be look at that guy. fart no no far should I do that dude I. would [ __ ] love it if you did that. I've always want to do that go down one. and over the left too uh up up that left. left that guy in the business suit. this guy business. so awesome big dick.

[Laughter]. it's almost like rude yeah yeah yeah. where women are like come on Michael. yeah I gotta stretch before we [ __ ]. every time yeah we can't just have a. casual [ __ ] this guy's like no way pubic. hair probably has beads and stuff you. know like. and stuff like he doesn't give a [ __ ]. this guy like that okay okay go straight. down the white shirt do you see the guy. down down one over the right three yeah.

okay so this guy I've been behind this. guy at a concert yeah and I swear to God. and everybody at home knows he he is. with the hottest non-white chick. age appropriate yes yes the hottest. woman his age like a Nigerian woman this. guy this guy is 64. she's 50 and [ __ ]. a smoker she's thin big tits she's. wearing heels on the grass she's sick I. can't even say she's a little older than. by bear she's like 58 right right right.

is it because he has money or is it. because dude Vibes we told oh yeah we. listen to the warrior listen to the. [ __ ] Warrior. can I say something I'll be real for the. first for the first time for the first. time I was born with vibes. exactly why are you blocking your own. time you're standing in the way of your. own Vibe that's right I walked around. places just wandering around you know I. like to wander yeah.

yeah yeah but you know what I mean but. you know I don't like exercising that. much so more wandering okay but I've. been in like malls and people walk up to. me and goes hey you want to be in my. movie stuff like that you have that I. have that ability yeah yeah it is sleep. in my eye you know I mean I'm doing a. little you know I mean a little you know. little jig exactly yeah yeah Uncorked. you're battling it up oh I am you are I. see with these little [ __ ] notes can. I tell you something what he just said. if you put out an album or a special in. the next couple years it's got to be.

called uncorked. let's do it again. love it it's one sound one sound. of the best [ __ ] right yeah yeah I. told you this oh I told you this off I. told Affair he wasn't here for this but.

I have a I had a friend who told me uh. that they were offered uh a bunch of. money a ton of money to let a guy [ __ ]. him uh I'm sorry to [ __ ] a guy to Peg a. guy in the ass for a clip load of money. and she's contemplating whether or not. she should do it no physical touch no. nothing like that if your girlfriend or. wife yeah said hey this guy is gonna pay. me me it's me hey you what's your. girlfriend your girlfriend.

he's single right now yeah let's just. say you have a girlfriend Cynthia right. that's a beautiful name oh we love her. about it yeah I love Cynthia it loves. Cynthia you know I mean um can your. girlfriend put on a strap-on right see. she can be fully clothed right okay and. she can no touching no kissing she. doesn't have to cut touch no hello right. don't even acknowledge my presence right. come in and she'll walk into the room. I'll be bent over you're on all four.

25 Grand cash. oh wow. um this is your girlfriend personally. absolutely I don't give you you would. say you should go you'd go babe is that. chill if I do that it's for 25k. [Music]. the fact that you actually makes it. weird because if you come up to me.

you're like hey I cannot stop thinking. about your wife [ __ ] me in the ass. right now if we're strangers without. question I don't give a [ __ ] but if like. my friend is like who she's my wife. that's a little but let's say my wife is. just like she has gotten this email from. someone like they offer uh [ __ ] my ass. you can wear full you can wear. beekeepers outfit. bring bees. what about what about this she's [ __ ]. me right yeah I'm staring at your head.

shot. this guy's headshot is amazing yes one. this guy's headshot is so good though. it's a little would that be weird for. you or no no listen twice well again do. we know each other personally yeah I'm. Bobby Lee yeah yeah I don't like that. okay okay but if just some guy wants to. look at a picture of me like the first. one the very first one that one for sure. that's a good one I have that and your. wife is okay I get it but not you. because I don't want that would you know. the bond we've forged over this [ __ ].

my Sensei you're right you you know what. I mean that's just disrespectful all. right stop let me is that a stranger and. there's no kissing no nothing absolutely. yeah that's what I'm saying okay let me. say this stop I need to take you get. your take on this as a single man yeah I. know on the road you've been offered. threesomes I know it I know combos have. been like oh not couples you know what I. mean I mean like uh friends have been. like. how do you what's your line of with. kakary if a guy says listen bro I need. you to pump my wife right please come.

back I'm not going to touch I'm not. gonna do anything but I'm in the room I. don't need him and I can't but he but he. goes I have to be in the room closest. I'll come to his other room closed. circuit television but. eyes wide Chuck masks I can't do what. about Max I'm like a Phantom of the. Opera Opera how they do it I don't want. another. Christine I don't want to happen in the. moment the moment you come he goes. that makes it in the corner. so you're on the road and it's cut but.

so no cuckery for you I just I'll [ __ ]. another guy's wife yeah but he can't be. there I don't want him there but but. what is it though I don't need another. masculine presence no no he's not he's. beta beta beta baby they're still it's. still another guy okay. is it two lesbians her Butch wife can. stay if she's like even if she's we're. talking chewing stuff. right yeah yeah yeah we're talking off. the sitcom. that's just right Drew.

a shirt thick glasses she could be that. type of that's I think I could handle it. you'll be down but I just can't have. another guy in there for that could you. not do that how about this no no could. you do kakary if you're on if we're on. the road in the bathroom you and I we're. on the road you okay not me I can't who. are you I'm taken what's your name. Andrew Santee I know but in the scenario. we are on the road it's Andrew Santino. okay we're on the road here Bobby Lee.

[ __ ] she you see what I got on the road. Andrew Santino and Bobby Lee and a. couple comes up to us okay we love you. guys he's so fun yeah yeah you want to. go for you like a drink or a meal with. us and we say you know we're not. drinking but maybe we'll go get dinner. we go get dinner with this couple yeah. because they're both very I already know. the answer they're very good looking I. already know the answer and the guy says. Santino no disrespect I can't you know. you're taking anyone Bobby I want you to. [ __ ] my wife. and I want to watch okay.

what do you say. I say this. if you laugh. funny. [Laughter]. it's not that you're it doesn't matter. what it's not that you would say. something funny. bro be fair but be fair check this out. you take your clothes off he's. immediately gonna go.

that's how I'm doing that so that's. really disrespectful I'm doing a. seriously you're getting cucked by. cooking he's cooking you why but he's. laughing he's like this guy. if I turn around in any movie like. like. damn dude holy [ __ ] even when I'm real. let's see. yes I don't know man right that's who's. gonna get a laugh a little bit how about. this though this is supreme cucking yeah. if the guy has him in the room and every.

move he does he's like boom yeah yeah. that is a huge power move so you've got. your [ __ ] in a guy's wife and he's. laughing at you there's no lower low no. so you're not gonna cuck on the tour you. call that a stroke pal. [Laughter]. use your hips dude. he's got a foam roller he's he's. loosening up your quads I was in the. belly room and you know one of the guys. that works at the comedy store was with. the older porn star hot nice yeah and he.

kept going she wants to blame man there. you go that I could probably do I gotta. get my dick sucked yeah yeah so I just. was in the belly room green right now. they came up there I was there talking. to another comic yeah and then this. comic laughed and I was alone with the. the man this guy that works there yeah. and this girl and then she gets on her. hands and knees and she gets on her. knees like this okay right that's her. knees right like oh yeah knees like just. knees like you said it before what do. you mean well you said she got on her. knees then you did it it is.

barely changed. my point is all right you haven't been. sitting on your knees this whole time. he went on his knees somehow he's like. she's on her so she's underneath. all right go ahead. she had her knees like this and then she. went she opened her mouth right like. this I walked out of the room no yeah. because I didn't want him to watch I.

okay right that's you don't want that I. don't want him to watch I told you I'm. not gonna do it anyway although is that. her. I mean yeah I don't want a guy there but. I might in that situation I might just. pop my soft dick and just just to say I. did because I know never in my life go. in the oven I don't grow up but put the. dough in the oven yeah yeah that would. be really funny to just that's another. Alpha so beta it's an alpha move soft. dick [ __ ] put your soft dick in a. woman's mouth and be like nah and then. leave.

I got a [ __ ] suit how long is this but. let me say that I got a bunch of stuff. you're invited anytime anytime let me. say this yeah. please stavy's got a new podcast out yes. please go watch it yeah please do it's. funny as [ __ ] he is funny as [ __ ] plug. it stavy's World YouTube world's on. YouTube puts on everywhere you get. podcasts look at that camera go thank. you for being a bad friend thank you for. being a bad friend. phenomenal. oh thank you hey get this guy Akita.

[Music]. oh. foreign.