Bobby’s Stinky Little Secret | Ep 82 | Bad Friends
you two are bad friends who are these. two idiots. white dude i'm an asian dude. you two are disgusting. well you two or something we're bad. friends. bobby lee. ladies and gentlemen right before we. start. look at this a good uh of um i forgot it. was in my travel bag. but there was a man who came to the show. in denver comedy works shout you out he. was a he was a little frantic because he.
was drunk. he was wasted he was like i i love bad. friends and i and i give you something. for rudy. and so he gave me this to give to you do. you know who this is. that's from my hero academia. is my favorite too my hysterectomy what. is that academia nut my hysterectomy. macadamia nut yeah yeah what is his. power. um. he's like the strongest he spreads new. he spreads. it he spreads.
come from him yeah he also looks like he. like he mixes fentanyl in a in a lab. right this is the fentanyl king yeah the. fentanyl king snored it um uh this guy's. great what is his name. midoriya oh midori sour. good drink all right i don't want to. throw this too because i don't want it. to break but i do want you to open it up. so i can see it. so thank you to the fan that gave that. look into your camera and thank that man. wikipedia thank you to the drunk man.
yeah wikipedia says right what do they. say the first 10 minutes of up is a. montage. yeah you wrote that on wikipedia i don't. even know how you wrote that no i don't. even know how to do that you wrote that. on wikipedia how do i know george do you. believe that i know how to do that. um that is the only saving grace you. have sir that i. do you know that i have no like skills. or tech wizardry to even do that you. paid someone to do that no that's how it. go that's how it goes. you snaky little shirt.
i bought i last night i was coming home. late i bought a box of. captain crunch peanut butter. yuck bro good so good. i haven't had that in years bro and. sliced up the roof of my mouth i was. bleeding while i was brushing my teeth. it was worth it um what's it the. cinnamon what's the cinnamon toast. crunch that thing. [ __ ] up the bottom of my eyes yeah it. slices up your mouth it's up my mouth. love it um but i'm a big.
the wheat thins guy. you like the wheat fins i like the thick. cubes with the frosting on one oh no. that's frosted mini wheats. what's that called frosted mini wheat i. love frosting mini wheats man they're my. favorite i like those because the milk. soaks in the [ __ ] thing i know yeah. when it gets when they get soggy and. they get heavy and fat yeah they get. like fat and heavy yeah like they get. they got diabetes that they're gonna. give you and then you pick it up out of. the milk and it's falling over your. spoon i love that yeah it reminds me of. because i have to shave my pubes because.
all the juice when i'm making love. absorbs into my pubes like that. right so then like a day later like i. could squeeze the pubes and i can get a. little bit of juice out you don't just. do that in the shower you don't just. shower it out. how thick is your jungle oh real good no. but i shaved it already. i shave it at the spa yeah which so what. i do is i'll at the cr. what yeah you shave at the spa they have. razors in there and yeah even korean spa. i get the razors but. the korean men. they hate it why because i sit in.
because there's two types there's the. shower and then there's a japanese kind. of shower where you're sitting down on a. plastic. chair a little plastic chair everybody. shares the same plastic chair no there's. six chairs around this kind of thing. right where it's a sit-down washing bath. right right and i i'll put you know um. shaving cream on my pubes yeah and i. just start like. shaving and then the cream and always. walk by me and they go. are you good you'll say something what. is that what's the word.
hey we got invited to somebody's wedding. who. courtney and james. that's the loving couple right there let. me see courtney and james hold on it's. saturday october 30th 4 p.m uh in. kentucky there's no way what do you guys. think do you want to go i'm free she's. free. should we do wouldn't that be fun for us. to just fly her out there just her just.
me yeah yeah yeah so funny. can andres come. i don't know because to be honest with. you he hasn't been here in let's see do. you don't know them imagine no no no. dude their fan they sent it to us uh. they sent it to the bad friends crew and. they invited the whole crew to the. wedding i think i wonder. what would that be like if we showed up. to that wedding yeah i mean we would run. it it would not be about it it certainly. wouldn't be her special day it'd be our. day well you know what now we have to go. that's james courtney and james yeah.
i think we'll go courtney and james. we're gonna be sending rudy jewels to. your wedding mm-hmm rudy jules is gonna. go to. yeah. what are you going to give them as a. gift rudy. a rice cooker. appropriate. that makes sense why why not. people love rice yeah but to them it's. going to be like you just probably found. it around your house. but what do you think they think she is. she shows up and they're like the. mexican girl gave us a rice cooker yeah.
that's definitely they'll go not a. tortilla you don't want to give us a. tortilla maker. i guarantee you if we put her in they. probably think it's like an armadillo. without the scales. they just ripped off the stairs scales. and the rudies showed up rudy if we did. that hurt your feelings no no okay make. fun of me now go. come on. no i can't. shave me right now i want you to learn. because i want you to survive in the. world yeah go ahead you got to you got. to shame me i shamed you i called you an. armadillo without scales.
um you don't have eyebrows. oh burn oh i'm not going to be able to. sleep for a week. all right well take that okay so use the. idea that you know he doesn't have. eyebrows just okay but make up something. about that like use that for the joke. that's not the joke but use that. i don't know how to make a joke all. right all right. we're teaching you right now right okay. your eyebrows are you know what your. eyebrows look like they look like what.
what's mean that looks thin and and and. almost not there aside from that right. why don't you try something where. just. i know that you're a nice person. but. say something that you think is going to. really hurt my feelings yeah. right and i think that's where you. should go me too right so say something. that's you think that's really gonna. hurt my feelings but i'm okay with it. to just try go ahead i can't yes you can. what would hurt my feelings go ahead.
you look. like yep. [Laughter]. and old there we go. [Laughter]. fat there we go i love it warmer. getting warmer stupid that's good old. fats. it's hurting. it's working warmer. stop.
first of all. first of all. she went that is she took an angle. that's not what i meant but that's what. i meant i know that's what you meant but. that was great. okay. that was. i look like an old fat stupid. you know if somebody said that had a. roast right. i would be mad but it'd have to be that. slow. it had to be that slow yeah right you. say it outright it's just not that good.
it's the balance of everything that she. did that's really amazing now um i want. people to listen at home right. she was forced to say that. yeah yeah yeah and you know she was. cornered yeah like an animal we bullied. her and we bullied her to say that yeah. yeah she didn't have a choice and it. hurt it did but i'm proud of you. proud of you and everybody did that feel. bad saying it yeah yeah it did. oh. it didn't feel good a little bit just a. little bit no. really it's mean.
oh that's true it is but it's fun. i know why is that fun because mean. stuff is fun yeah it's because it's all. in good fun you don't really mean it. yeah i was at you know. i i forget that like. when you're. around comedians. you can say certain things. but i made the mistake one time of. making fun of. a guy that was in line. at so i was opening for carlos mancia at. the ice house and the guy was in line.
and and he i i literally thought he was. making a face. right so he's standing like this. like that right and i walked up to my. way hey. and he goes. and it was oh it's his face it was his. face. and i went oh [ __ ] what do you say to. that nothing i just walked out yeah i. keep going yeah you got to keep going. he's still a fan he's listening to us. right now he's like. i love you anyway. yeah tell tell everybody what you said.
to. somebody's son at the comedy store. how do you know about that you told me i. wa you walked into the green room of the. main room oh yeah so um. i feel so bad about it it was very funny. to me it was not. me and tom papa were laughing i know so. um. i'm standing there with uh shane gillis. yeah and tim dillon and we're in the. parking lot. and sherry shepherd if you don't know. sherry sheppard she was on the view very.
funny very funny lady i've known her for. 25 years. we've always been friends yeah. and she has her son. so she comes up to me goes and she's. wearing her mask so she has to say out. loud hey it's sherry sheppard because. it's like i mean i would already know. who she was. it's either her or you know. right. so i give sherry a hug we have our masks. on right and her son's wearing a mask. and he's a shorter black guy when i go.
young he's like he's 14 years old yeah. he's a young boy so i go what's up kevin. hart. right and he he he does this. he like. tenses up he tenses up like this. and then she immediately goes well he's. 14 he hasn't been in the club before you. know he's just she's trying to like you. know i mean and they kind of walk away. and i look at tim i'm blushing oh yeah. and look at tim and shannon go and. they're like. wrong thing to say man.
yeah wrong and i i till this day i don't. i don't feel like that that's a bad. thing you just what you just said was. hey short black guy. that's true. that's what i said but i thought i. honestly thought right that you know. because when you see a comic yeah. you see someone like fahiman was perfect. so femi fahim anwar will always be. around guys i've never seen before but. you just make this assumption that. they're either writers or a comedian. yeah it's [ __ ].
10 30 on a school night yeah so in your. head you're like he should be in bed so. you're just crossing off these things in. your head really quickly yeah right that. can't be that that can be exactly it's. got to be it's got to be. right or her boyfriend i don't know i. don't know her situation. well in the mask i couldn't tell he kind. of looked 14. okay. so i threw it out there. and um. it reminded me of the [ __ ] thing i. did at the face no the river at. in budapest. where i was with cheyenne and those guys.
i told you that story on this podcast. what. i never told you that story i don't. think so. well the first day i was there just real. quick i was there. i get a letter from jamie lee curtis. saying tomorrow meet me at noon. so i don't know anybody so we're having. lunch. and jamie i'm with this guy named. cheyenne jackson and. penn teller. penn jillette yeah and there and. jamie curtis goes we're going to go by. the river i want to show you something.
see we go to the river do you know the. story y'all want to see a dead body. yeah yeah so we go to the river and. along the side of the river there's. these little bronze shoes. and they're like kind of. cemented into the the side. and there's probably 60 of them paris. and back in. during the holocaust. hitler and his gang his boys his boys. yeah they just lined up jews on the side. of the river and shot him and they threw. him over the river right which is really. sad yeah.
and um. then. jamie lee and cheyenne and a bunch of. people are around this pair of shoes. that were like a little boy's pair of. shoes. and. cheyenne goes oh my god because he has a. son that's young yeah and he goes um. a little boy. yeah. and then i go. as loud as i can. it could have been a [ __ ]. [Laughter]. and then.
the group they don't know me yeah i had. one lunch with them. they all collectively turned their backs. on me i would and walked away yeah. i'm still staring at the shoes. trying to figure out if it was a [ __ ]. or not no no trying to figure out. what in god's green earth i was thinking. about saying that i mean it's funny i. know i understand that if i was with a. bunch of comics it would have worked i. think it would have worked right but. around actors and the social people were. like emotional and crying.
i was just like yeah you read it wrong. mm-hmm did i read it wrong. a little bit yeah yeah you think i read. it wrong. okay well that's you know but you got to. try no you don't because then what. happened after that is there was 12. times. i was there for like a month and a half. yeah 12 times where i stopped myself. from making jokes for making it a [ __ ]. up job were there no other comics there. at all no like i would have lunch with. all these people right and it'd be a. window and my gut would go now. right your gut just goes this is it say.
it and my body just went no you can't. and so now every everyone on the show. now thinks i'm kind of like a clean. comic or a nice guy could i show up on. time smile yeah but they'd be friendly. what they know i think maybe deep down. they don't. they can feel that you have that dark. sense of humor. it's not i don't even see it as a not. dark but it's just. raw it's not even raw it's just like the. way i survived as a kid yeah you know. people would attack me. physically or whatever and i would.
defend myself by saying the most [ __ ]. up thing yeah. and that's just the way that's kind of. what comedy is a little bit. i guess but it's like um. i should just know better. you live you learn i mean look dude. you're a young guy. i'm 50 and. [ __ ] you you [ __ ]. i'm 50 in um two a month one no a month. a month. no for three weeks two next friday next. week. yeah i forgot what it is yeah next. september yeah next friday i am oh yeah.
speaking of which look at this what does. that say i feel like we're all much. closer bad friends now that bobby has. flaked on all of us now uh we know he. does it to his closest friends it's good. to know he does it to his bad friends. oof and the reddit thread bobby's. birthday party is canceled. well it's not our fault it's not bobby's. fault what are you supposed to do. well why'd you even show me that. i don't have control it's so hurtful hey. [ __ ] face why'd you show me that it. hurts me well it was a good segue from. me talking i know but i just want to. apologize to people but it was because. of the delta and all that stuff and no. it's not delta it's a new one mu.
mu the move iris is it mu what is it. called w yeah virus yeah mu mu but they. don't know like it's it sounds scarier. yeah yeah yeah yeah right doesn't it. coming to theaters this fall right the. move virus. move over like the movie before that was. like a disney delta yeah welcome to the. delta virus yeah yeah ooh they went. darker this is this is really dark yeah. and the next one will be like an a24. film it'll be like really subversive and.
weird yeah yeah off and. people who get it will like lose a limb. like your eyeball will just fall out of. your [ __ ] head yeah nether. the nether world the nether virus the. nether virus yeah yeah. nether presented by a24 yeah then. another virus and you have to double. mask. triple mask triple mask six vaccines and. you can only 69. yeah you have to 69. that's the only way you're allowed to. sex with people. yeah genitals can't touch genitals. anymore only genitals to mouth that's.
how you fight the nether virus. it's constantly gonna mutate yes it's. never gonna go away but are they gonna. get worse these mutations yes we're. [ __ ]. we are [ __ ] up we're never gonna get. away from no we're gonna die where. everyone will everyone's gonna get it. though everyone will get it yeah a. version of it yeah i cannot wait for you. guys to get it. why i can't wait. because you gotta experience it dude you. know you went through it already yeah. you gotta live it you gotta do it acting.
like it's like a ride at magic mountain. or something it's a rite of passage. do you see you know did you ride the new. [ __ ] blue virus i waited in line yeah. yeah trying to get the [ __ ] skip pass. to get up no. i feel like it is a rite of passage. somehow some way you know what we got to. do you and i when when when um when you. guys get it no when um amusement park's. just open oh let's go. but she. has never been no she has. she just won't go on it on him because. of fear a fear of one so many times we. had to go i'm falling.
you're not gonna fall what do you mean. i'm just scared. dude when's the last time an accident. happened at an amusement park probably. 50 years ago yeah. last time last accident at amusement. park rudy it's got to be so long ago. before the technology. uh three months three months ago. three months ago. three months ago no looked out yeah what. list of amusement park accidents the. united states yeah but when they have a. list like that on wikipedia or whatever.
right it can't be a lot what's the. biggest fear upside down you don't want. to go upside down yeah in case you slip. out yeah that thing was someone ever. diarrhea. oh i diary every time has someone ever. diarrhea i mean yeah bobby squirts a. little bit but i mean you mean someone. had like a real bad diarrhea accident. yeah has someone [ __ ] on a roller. coaster perfect. did a tourist get diary on a roller. coaster and splash 14 people. wow wow. that's i mean kudos to the ability yeah.
would you be mad reports of a truck i'd. be like 14 of us got it that's. impressive. i imagine the ride's over you have [ __ ]. all over your face. yeah well you would do that because of. the photo yeah they always do a photo so. you're like i know i have diarrhea in my. face yeah but i don't want to wait back. in that line so i'm gonna go hey you do. the face. if we do send you to um kentucky for the. wedding andres can't go cause he's busy. look at this picture of this guy by the. way go to andreas's page. look at this dude.
who the [ __ ] does this guy think he is. this [ __ ] song andres rosende. director of the quinnipiac los angeles. program born in spain raised in los. angeles. look at him andres has directed multiple. successful short films that have played. in more than 200 film festivals yeah. look at the oh my god he won the. international award included the dj for. best latin short but he is a talented. guy andres also produces the hit podcast. bad friend starring comedians bobby lee. andrew santino is that real.
it does say that. andrew also produced the hit andrei. andreas. starring comedian bobby lee and andrew. santino interesting george is not on. there george is not on there. oh my god oh how does that feel does he. is he the sole producer i mean it feels. like betrayal that's what i know but. george who's the executive producer of. bad friends. uh me and bryce andres rosende novo it's. andreas according to this according to. this article yeah he's he's using me. just for for now more about clout for.
his regular job too pete zoom in on that. face look at this smug little scene yeah. look at that just look at this look at. that look at that oh yes hello i am the. sole producer of pep friends and look at. his lips when has it ever been that. color never. when this dude put gloss lipstick so. much lip gloss on his [ __ ] lips and. he even painted a little bit of facial. hair which i think was cool yeah he. can't grow that but he you know what he. is wearing. those shitty [ __ ] european shirts he. wears yeah yeah you look at that look at.
the inner lining of it i know flowers. the more the more patterns the more. expensive bud. oh but he's cute there he is a little. babe yeah yeah we miss our little andres. yeah where is he. uh he's out uh out east we're doing a. thing for the school he's like he's like. teaching school something in school. good for him. better help oh my god andrew better help. is something that i uh a service that i. um partake in and it's uh. really helped me is there i'm gonna ask. you a question andrew is there something. interfering with your happiness or is it.
preventing you from achieving your goals. is there yes actually well then better. help us for you my friend thank you very. much i start communicating in under 48. hours we both use better help uh all. joking aside it's not a crisis line guys. i just want self-help it is professional. counseling done securely online there's. a broad range of expertise available. which may not be locally available in. many areas but the service is available. for clients all over the world you can. log in to your account anytime and send. a message to your counselor yep you can. you get timely and thoughtful responses. you can schedule weekly or video phone. sessions you won't ever have to sit in.
an uncomfortable best guys you guys you. guys have to do this we do recommend uh. therapy it's yeah it's a little bit. cheaper than traditional therapy and i. think if you're looking to talk to. somebody better help is the way to do it. visit go ahead yeah go ahead. visit betterhelp.com bad friends that's. better h-e-l-p and join the over 1. million people who have taken charge of. the mental health with the help of an. experienced professional also visit. their website and read their. testimonials that are posted daily yeah. you can see them right there at. betterhelp.com reviews uh in fact so. many people been using it they're.
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the robert e lee statue was removed from. virginia your great great great grand. wait great great great grandfather. robert e lee his statue was removed from. virginia street they took it yeah it's. funny because it's like people make. these jokes on twitter and stuff going. you know. how dare you put bobby lee live statue. down what it's just number one we don't. share the same middle name his name is. robert my name is bobby he's white and. i'm [ __ ] a fat asian guy i mean still. think you might have some blood you. think so your principles are similar.
what do you mean what they mean some of. his principles. he was again he was pro slavery. czech. [Laughter]. check he was pro railroads in the asians. check. and he was pro. um. like pillaging and raping chad yeah yeah. don't even have to finish that check. yeah you're the same you're just like. robert e lee but they tore down a statue. oh that's sad i'd be people bummed.
i think certain groups of group people. are very bummed this is the problem with. me i'm not. i don't statues are really. who gives a [ __ ] i'm not really who. gives a [ __ ] guy. yeah there's two things i hate statues. or i don't give a [ __ ] you know also. fountains yeah what the [ __ ] yeah look. at our fountain look at all this water. yeah i hate it we're showing off the. third world countries that's all that is. it's like a middle finger to the third. world country my mother look at all this. moving water. we used to go to this mall and there was. a fountain in the middle of this mall.
and. i went to the bathroom i came back and. my mom had taken. taken her pants no yeah and rolled it. all the way up to her [ __ ] ankles and. she's waiting. in the [ __ ]. the [ __ ] fountain and i'm as even as. kid going like you're not supposed to do. that like who does that it's not for. that is it though but in her korean mind. she's like picking up the pennies yeah. yeah like look at the money i i found i. mean it's like all these wishes going. away you know what i mean yeah but she's. getting all the wishes that's the.
original dreamcast yeah my mom used to. do that with the wish dealer she also. used to sleep. just on the floor. yeah it's so good for your back like in. the middle of the mall. oh what yeah when you're out at the mall. yeah she would just sleep. take a nap in the middle of a [ __ ]. mall. it was so embarrassing like she doesn't. know the rules were you with friends. when this happened no no i didn't have. friends then. really yeah. they don't have.
my dad used to be with golf clubs no we. know we know but seriously. your mom would just lay down in the. middle of the mall and take a nap yeah. yeah. my mom backhanded me once i um. i i was dropped off i went to a um camp. right concentration no summer. oh yeah we applied before concentration. didn't get excited you needed more focus. yeah. and i remember this. the yellow bus coming back to the school. drops we'd gone for two months.
and all the parents are there how big. was the bus. it was a little kind is that a problem. no it just wasn't enough to wear a. helmet. is that weird bobby yeah. and i remember the kids would get off. the bus and their parents would be so. happy to see them. and they would pick the kids up kiss. some you know i mean this and that. i don't know why i did this but um when. i saw my mom she goes bobby i pushed her. you. pushed her out of your way.
because i thought it was embarrassing oh. yeah well how old were you. nine. yeah that's that age yeah. and then i remember on the car ride home. she backhanded me. 25 times in the car yeah just pop as. hard as you could by the way yeah while. she's driving yeah while she drops the. fact that parents could be like. yeah yeah you'll still be able to drive. yeah like 25 times. wow and i remember looking at the the. rear view and wouldn't that that what to. the window on the mirror oh no the side.
mirror the side mirror. and i remember looking at my face it was. just like bleeding and i'd like [ __ ]. think my mom's finger like marks on my. face. that you deserved it didn't you. i think i did. i think i think that um. another time my mom another time my mom. we were gonna go to um an amusement park. and i was at my cousin andy's house and. i said get me these pants because i was. i spent the night at my cousin andy's. house and she was gonna pick us up and. she didn't get the same the pants that i.
wanted. right and i go [ __ ] you mom this and. that what and we ended up not going. yeah no [ __ ] yeah you don't get to say. that kid how old were you though. 11. and you were saying [ __ ] you to your. mom yeah bad boy yeah you deserve to get. hit i was a bad kid but you squared off. it it worked out somehow. what do you mean well you're fine you're. not a bad person. yeah but um you look you you didn't do. weird things growing up a lot of weird.
[ __ ] growing up yeah but mine was always. like uh. we got in trouble for like stealing. stuff i got we got in trouble for. fights or or like uh. i brought a gun to school. and that guy got in trouble for that. yeah yeah that was bad this is. pre-school shoot no. it wasn't a real gun you if you and i. were like friends back then. and we got drunk in a tent mm-hmm right. do you think we'll be getting a fist. fight. we'll probably do some gay [ __ ].
if you and i were drunk in a tent. we'd probably do some engaging that's. exactly what i wanted to hear we would. do geisha today yeah if you can't go. again on this [ __ ] podcast we always. go that's what this show is exactly so. let's talk about it we're in the tent. [Laughter]. did you but you did you are you did. experimental gay stuff when you were a. kid did you ever have a circle jerk. yeah i remember um where you jerked off. i had i can't say names but i remember. my parents were going out of town they.
were going to san francisco. and i remember that night i called my. friend allen and i can't. i don't know where allen went. right but he didn't do anything he's. just hiding behind the couch. but we had a bunch of people. and somebody brought over a vhs tape of. a porn. and we also got my dad it was alcoholics. who had a wine like a a liquor you know.
i mean uh in the cabinet yeah in the. living room. with shots of whiskey and stuff like. that next science next thing i know. we're all in each other no we're not. [ __ ] each other but we're all kind of. jerking off like somebody just pulled it. out and they said. you didn't even get like a blanket no we. just all just started doing it gotta get. a blanket but and then i blew then i. blacked out. right it's coming so much no i don't. know i don't know what happened but this. is i distinctly remember five in the. morning.
so you have my bedroom right. and when you walk out my bedroom if you. take a left and a quick right. is a where the washer and dryer is but. also there's a bathroom to the left and. if you open up at the door there's a. [ __ ] pool okay somebody please draw. that so in the. in the bathroom to my left i hear. something. right and i'm kind of sobered up a. little bit. and kind of wandering the house. and i see a figure. one figure. right. it's a [ __ ].
shower right so i open up the shower. it's a friend of mine. he looks he locks eyes with me he's. completely naked right. his penis is erect. right and he looks at me. and he says something that. anywhere i want to get a laugh. or a giggle and i don't know why it was. funny to me. right. but instead of going you know what if. you if i'm naked and i'm in a [ __ ]. shower. and you open the door i'm going to cover.
up that's not what this fool did maybe i. don't know this fool looks at me. locks out him and he goes. i can't come. that poor guy. that's what he said to me that poor guy. and i remember closing it right and. going back to my bedroom sorry and i. remember like giggling. right going how long was he in there. for four hours right i don't know come i. can't come i can't come yeah you didn't. help him or nothing or at all no i just.
went right to my [ __ ] so funny if he. was like i can't come and you're like. [Laughter]. yeah yeah. boys do just such gross [ __ ] because. you're such a horny yeah we're weirdos. one time i rode my bike home i was. riding my bike home and the way my my. balls were rubbing on the seat i got a. boner on the bike ride home yeah and i. pulled i pulled over behind this like. shed and i just jerked off yeah just. outside yeah i had to i was it was like. it was like dusk and it was like near a. field i just jerked off near a field. and the shame that you feel the moment.
that you're done yeah you just want to. jump into a [ __ ] hole and disappear. yeah i don't know why the universe makes. you feel bad after you come it makes you. i know what is it because you just. everyone's dead. i think it's because it's like. you're doing something animalistic. right. and um there is an empty when you. when you unload there isn't i think a. physiological thing that goes on within. the body where it's like there's an. emptiness or you just know that.
it's out of you it's gone and the desire. i think god made it that way. yeah so that you're not constantly but. you still are constantly doing it yeah. but yeah i guess yeah you're right as a. young guy i could probably do it two or. three times. in a day. in a row maybe what dude if i was 16 and. you put a hot chick in front of me i. could do it probably four times. in a row i could do two maybe. dude imagine just a super model a. supermodel.
right. and i'm 16. imagine right i see it i've. never seen a naked body before right and. it would be like. i would do it three or four times yeah. yeah i guess that's possible did you. ever you have a time when you masturbate. and nothing came out. well. talk about 50. the other night i. close your ears. she's not even here so i talked to my. girlf my therapist with my girlfriend. yesterday.
and i'm going to reveal something that. i've never revealed to anyone before. i feel like my age has caught up to my. sexual drive sexual drive oh man yeah do. you not want to have sex at all i can. feel it no it's just like this like. certain things like. like before if i was at a at the comedy. store and i see a group of girls. walking in let's say where they're. wearing summer dresses or skirt love. summer dresses and they're just yeah you. know i mean they're just like comedy. you know what i mean.
and they're just they do twirls. they just do a twirl with this and the. dress is kind of i love comedy yeah yeah. yeah yeah that happens all the time and. i before i'd be like i would do a. memorization. of what she would like what they wore. their smiles i just get you know. certain things right and then later in. the night right i would probably jerk. off to that right okay now it's like. like i'll literally do three steps back. and be.
i would be i'll be sick why. i just because i just know number one. they they would even if i was single. they would have no interest in me. because i'm old now right. and um it's just like i don't want to. deal with the voices and there are. people okay but even with the person you. love you still don't want to have sex no. i do like you know but it's like i can. see my body yeah not doing it so i think. i need to be on something testosterone. maybe should we get you some tea on the. show. i think i need testosterone let's get.
you some testosterones on the show. because i um. i can feel it zapping away does your. penis not stay hard anymore. it also does something weird and i. don't even know if i should talk about. it on this please. okay um. you know when a penis is uh. uncircumcised i sure do are you. no. so the skin. around my penis. um. the loose skin around the head is now so.
loose the sleeve the sleeve right the it. it's a long sleeve now it swallows the. head yeah. but and if i don't constantly untuck it. right. a smell occurs oh boy yeah like a cheesy. smell right you gotta clean it bud i. know but it's like i'm circumcised. so i don't know how to do it wait what. you're circumcised yeah and you still. have sleeve skin. now because the [ __ ] skin around my. shaft is so loose oh no it's now.
wrapping over your rapping over my head. that's what i've never heard this in the. history of anything well i'm telling you. it's happening. like if i pull my penis out right now. it'll be wrapped it's wrapped around the. head yeah it's keeping it warm. no it's just that maybe i played with it. so much the skin's just like. you mean we're not trying you know i. mean that's so sad it's so sad so now. i'm getting this like. cheesy smell out of it. what do you mean yeah i don't know. but please let me spread it on the. cracker.
all right so. so now so now constantly on stage i did. it last night. what where i i have a technique well. there's two things i've been doing. i shouldn't be. yeah okay so last night i did it on. stage without even and there was a. packed room. i took my two fingers like this i stuck. it on my pants and i just. you know i mean what yeah i went. to show people no i no i just. to adjust you to adjust it because i.
could see it being engulfed yeah and i'm. sweating on stage i don't want it to. smell that's that's why bad friends is. excited to announce sleeve backs sleeve. backs pin back your penis skin. but here's the second thing i've been. doing yeah i was trying this and it was. working but then it's like i was. suffocating my penis oh he couldn't. breathe so what i was doing was my my. girlfriend's um headband. you know the the little thin. where they put tony hair tie hair tie. so i've been doubling up the hair tie.
and stinging it between the head and the. shaft get the [ __ ] out of here. no you're really doing it i'm doing this. well then we need sleeve backs right so. then but it's getting so tight. that. it's cutting off you suffocated. yeah yeah yeah right and it's turning. all purple and like not getting any you. know it's getting too much blood or. something it's already purple there's no. doubt right right so it's like i'm like. i don't think that's the right way you. gotta let it we gotta invent this maybe. like a sweater or something if there's. any guys out there that have this. problem please write into the bad friend.
show because we can we can help maybe. you can create a product cosby sweater. imagine. you don't need that type of style 80s. like a coochie sweater right i just put. it around the thing so that like. his head is constantly yeah you know i. need something but we got to make little. arms coming out yeah yeah yeah imagine. us pitching a shark in the hand a little. pudding pop. welcome to shark tank. hello sharks yeah today we have an. investment.
today we have an investment for you we'd. like. we'd like 10 million dollars for two. percent of our company. sleeve backs. hi sweaters sweatshirts to pull back the. loose skin on your penis bobby i'm ceo. bobby lee hi um so i'm 50 and i'm fat. fat a fat asian. and um you know as you know when you're. a fat asian right you masturbate a lot. yeah right and then you also have to you. do a lot of tugging down there if i may. say cut to mark cuban.
and so um and what i realized through. time right that the skin around. in the shaft area. troops it droops oh oh. right they'll yeah. lori's writing writing it down right. yeah troops penis so what occurs you. know i mean um. is that the skin engulfs. the head good word right right that's a. good word we'll show a slide of it right. engulf let me just show it we just we're.
showing it happening right and maybe. we'll show like in star wars you know. that creature. yeah i mean that sticks his head out of. the dirt sand you know what i'm in and. then we'll put in reverse yeah maybe. reverse yeah i don't know something like. that right. and then we might have to get the rights. or something we'll borrow it we'll. borrow it right. so anyway a cheat you like you guys like. cheese. yeah. yeah we have some samples. no i mean gorgonzola yeah and they're. like yeah imagine that but 10 times. worse oh no yeah around the head of the.
ppe we've got a solution yeah bobby yeah. show them what it looks like. you'll pull your penis out he'll be. wearing the cosby sweater. right. then there mark cuban would be like why. are the cosby sweater. and then it's like well it's. fashion that's yeah it's fashion but. it's fashion mark cuban it's yeah. there's different no we have different. eras yeah that's that we have a gold one. that's like um sparkly for the 70s right. right disco disco dick do we even have a. michael jackson glove right michael.
jackson glove right and then we also. have um. what else do we have hip-hop oh hip-hop. yeah we have a hamper it's a hoodie. and notice the little chain around the. gold chain around the you know. something like that would you think. they'll buy this okay what do you think. uh sharks. the well by that time is she a shark. yeah yeah what do you think sharks. sharks what do you think. can it have a harry styles.
and he has like a watermelon. like a watermelon sweater wearing his. own yeah his own thing so will you buy. it yes. easy money. yeah but you're not you don't have to. deal with because you're in your 30s. still. yeah just almost over though i know but. you but when you're 50. yeah loose penis. skin is not a when you're 50 it'll. happen i feel like you don't believe me.
can i show you. yeah but rudy can't be in the room yeah. get out of the room get out. let me see what it looks like when it's. hiding. bespoke post i love i gave you one of. these box of awesome you know what it's. a love box of. awesomes because when you wake up wake. up when you open it up and you wake up. in the morning yeah and you open up this. box there's stuff in there that makes. you it's just. it's well it makes you want to live life. because there's a lot of stuff that i. use and i get surprised there's funky. fun things in there.
there's knives for rudy uh there's. kitchen tools i like the bar set up. stuff uh scarves they have little tents. they have tons of stuff uh to surprise. you with this this is how you get. started okay you take the quiz at box of. awesome.com and your answers will help. them pick the right box of awesome for. you right they release new boxes every. month across a ton of different. categories it's free to sign up and you. can skip a month or cancel any time each. box costs only 45.45 bucks but has over. a 70 dollars worth of gear inside that's.
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pounds of ground beef for free in every. order for the life of your membership. log on to butcherbox.com. bad friends to claim this deal. beef. let me see what it looks like when it's. hiding let me. see. holy [ __ ]. that's so weird. it's cover it's engulfing your whole. penis. [Laughter]. i've never ever seen that i'm not. exaggerating for the sake of the show. i've never seen that before and i see me.
nothing nothing it's it's natural state. you need to go to the doctor about that. i have a lot of things i have to see the. doctor about well there's like six. things are we doing your teeth. that's even that's eighth i mean you're. not gonna go to the i thought we gotta. go back to the dentist soon no yeah but. sorry sorry. yeah but um i have a list of six things. so i i gotta figure it out like i'm. getting older so i feel like scariest. thing i've ever seen i'm not gonna lie. why it doesn't hurt no but it looks like. it's wrong. it's definitely wrong it's wrong it's. not right yeah yeah it's like somebody.
drew it and you're like that's wrong. yeah that's wrong something's wrong yeah. something's definitely wrong there well. i gotta untuck yeah untuck it right now. two fingers and pull yeah paul i'm gonna. show you one of my favorite videos on. the internet show him show him ferrari. look at this guy. talk about overcoming adversity this guy. my dear fragrance army jeremy fragrance. here that purchased his ferrari in cash. after being in a gay relationship that. he did not enjoy after a woman tried to. sue him for rape after his father died.
after was totally destroyed. and now. phoenix from the ashes guys. listen to that confluence of events yeah. i was in a gay relationship relationship. he was accused of right sued for rape. sued for rape his dad died his dad died. phoenix from the ashes phoenix from the. ashes bought a friend i love this guy. this guy is unreal this guy is unreal. unreal what's going on with his eyes he. has plastic surgery plastic surgery a.
lot a lot play one more time for fun. just so i can hear this guy. hey guys. my dear fragrance army jeremy fragrance. here that purchased his ferrari in cash. after being in a gay relationship that. he did not enjoy okay after a woman. tried to sue him forever. after his. gay relationship he didn't enjoy maybe. he's not gay i know but she's trying i. like you maybe that's what i like a. relationship which i did not enjoy yeah. yeah after a woman sued me for rape.
right which i did enjoy probably that's. the concept that was the kind of right. yeah and my dad died that died we don't. know if he enjoyed that or not he might. have enjoyed his dad's death yeah yeah. but but click on it he bought a ferrari. mother died after was totally destroyed. destroyed him destroyed and now. phoenix from the ashes guys. that's the american dream yeah that's. the american dream yeah what this guy. had you try a gay relationship you get.
sued for rape your dad dies you get to. buy a ferrari america. greatest country on earth that's what i. do love about this country they that all. that can happen a lot of things like. that can happen insane that's insane. that is insane yeah but he's also you. know i had to say jeremy i've been. watching. there's a show on netflix a series. called untold have you seen them. no okay but i've watched so much [ __ ] on. netflix that i don't remember there's a. series called untold right on netflix. and there's like one on caitlyn jenner.
there's one but there's one called crime. and penalties. what is the one about caitlyn jenner. about what's untold it's amazing it goes. into when she killed that no no woman no. no it wasn't about the murder no it's. about her olympics. when bruce was in the montreal olympics. when she was bruce and he was in the. olympics right it was it follows her all. all the documentaries. follow a sporting event. oh right then i would love it you would. but there's one called crime and. penalties i think is that what it's.
called. crime and penalties oh i saw malice at. the palace that's that's untold that's. untold that's why oh i watched that yeah. i didn't know it was untold but this one. right here dude yeah is the funniest one. who is that i've ever seen it's this kid. named aj galante. when he was 17 years old his dad was. like the head of the mafia right in. connecticut. and he just decides to buy him a hockey. team. wait what yeah the dad buys him a hockey. team a hockey team a pro hockey team no.
there's a league before like the b. league sure right. but there's a whole. you know league there watch this right. and he starts googling like he doesn't. like look for like. stats in terms of how good the players. are right he he. sees what kind of crimes they've. committed yeah if they're violent enough. oh that's great right that's super smart. for hockey yeah right so he. so the first match they ever play. his dad. the mafia guy.
tells the center for i don't know how. the positions are sure as soon as the. ref drops the puck. take your gloves off start a fight and. start beating at the [ __ ] out of the. other guy. and like clockwork. throws it down so it's ripped [ __ ]. chaos that's amazing it's the one of the. funniest documentaries but it's real. they're called those yeah he had one guy. named the nigerian nightmare. some guy that was in the nhl but too. violent for the nhl right i mean it. started working somewhere else and then. the i i don't know i don't know the. story but he just loves to fight it's so.
good i want to watch this you should. watch it but all these ones right very. good i watched malice in the palace that. was a great one you didn't see that did. you i love that one um i want you to. look this up real fast yeah. actor. uh. um. pled guilty 650 million who i got sent. this today who this is insane you don't. know this man but this article is going. to blow your [ __ ] mind. actor pleads guilty zachary horowitz has. agreed to plead guilty to operating a.
650 million dollar ponzi scheme fake. netflix and hbo deals he was telling. people investors that he had all these. deals with netflix and hbo and was. fabricating all this [ __ ] information. and he acquired. 650 million dollars how [ __ ] dumb my. god are the people that gave him that. kind of money that just shows you rich. people will just give other people money. if you're if you can sucker them. 650 million dollars. he's going to get 20 years in prison and. he paid back a quarter of it is what i.
read yeah if you read the article i hear. of like um. ponzi schemes or the pyramid schemes all. that kind of stuff yeah it breaks my. heart especially like old no no no no no. he didn't rip off humans he ripped off. bill multi-millionaires billionaires. oh he didn't rip off like street people. yeah but you would think that like you. know i'm almost okay with this. you [ __ ] the rich it's funny i know but. i don't understand how like for for me. let's say i was a millionaire right and. then you were like.
let's say i was one you are i'm not a. millionaire you're a millionaire look at. what bobby lee's worth that's not a real. yes it is look at what it what i'm worth. okay do what bobby lee net worth sorry i. got distracted with a little uh. something uh that actually affects uh. the bad friends family what andres. worked for this guy what. fancy b worked for this guy way to. [ __ ] man dude i have to call the fans. he might be on an airplane right now but. hopefully he's landing holy [ __ ] george.
please answer fans. the devil below he produced that movie. that fancy did. we promoted that on this show oh wow. [Laughter]. oh fans be off a plane. fancy please damn it damn it [ __ ]. oh my god fancy worked for this guy so. can we trust fancy. wait but did the guy come up with money. to do it. bob he would go to people and lie and be. like i've got a netflix deal for you. know a six picture deal for so and so.
so-and-so i need. third-party investor funding. for these movies and you'll get a. percentage kickback like a hollywood. producer yeah these guys gave him all. this money and he would use the ponzi. scheme he would use their money to fund. other lies but what i'm saying is is. that with he is he pocketing the money. and not doing anything with it or is he. doing a couple of productions to make it. seem like no no he it seems like he did. set up a production house and did one. thing with him that's what i'm saying so. he did so he did it so it looks legit.
right right but what you do is just push. the money around you go from one you. push the money from this project. yeah but in the meantime he's buying. mansions and ferraris and that was him. by the way that was yeah that was the. same guy yeah but what i don't get about. these people because enron was like that. too that what the ponzi scheme in enron. yeah but they were yeah they you know i. don't know what what they call it but. they would say that the company is worth. this much. like almost future predictions yeah they. would inflate their numbers right right. so it's like next year yeah i mean this. is what we're going to be working on. seven billion right and they didn't.
actually come up with anything they just. kept. right doing this that's for the market. and then it for the market and then they. obviously crashed right and it's um well. then those other people they pulled out. all their stocks and stuff like that no. but like a lot of people got [ __ ] like. you know [ __ ]. i mean but i just don't mind it when you. do this to the rich. i think this is funny dude. yeah go back you telling me he got that. many people to give him 650 million look. at this he horwitch acknowledged that he. has failed to pay he's he so he's paid.
all back but 231 million so he only owes. 231 million not bad you can probably. scrounge that up somehow my favorite. quote from one of these articles is one. of his friends said. i did not think he was smart enough to. do this. oh really yeah. how much time is he getting 20 years. maybe faces up to 20 years you know what. that means what nothing he'll serve. nothing yeah but what i would do with. zaful sam is like. because you you when you're starting a. ponzi scheme like this you know. inevitably it's going to crash of course. it's going to catch up to you well.
right so yeah so the smart guy would. what what i would have done is should we. do one. we think about it though. we take right and we stash. liquid in the cash yeah we bury the [ __ ]. it like physically bury it yeah and then. you and i know we're gonna get 10 years. in prison yeah and then when we get out. we [ __ ] uncover get we'll get the. cash that we how are we going to get all. that cash out. why don't we get it out like how are you. going to get out like 20 million from or. 231 million from the bank no you're not. going to walk you out of there with that. kind of no no but can't you get like.
like if i had 251 millions in the bank. mm-hmm right i can't get 30 million you. could but they would cause a thing it'd. be a big thing why because they'd be. curious as to why you want 30 million in. cash they would probably alert internet. they probably alert um. what's the internet uh interpol because. they'd be like this guy might be. skipping the country okay can you get. can you can you set up some sort of fake. charity or something that you can go to. that we could do yeah right let's set. one up so you have a limp leg. you've had one for years you've had one.
for years we have a charity for you and. your limp lag for good old limp lego. call it rudy's sunrise rudy security. rudy sunrise charity right right and. then get a leg up that's it get a leg up. it's our get a leg quotation yeah yeah. that's our phrase yeah our catchphrase. so rudy sunrise get a leg up donations. are going to go to fix her limp legs so. please send to the the name right here. we'll put it down with one leg you can. what you can still dance with one leg. maybe i know let's move on get a leg up. let's fight between let's stick with. mine no.
you can still dance with one leg. all right it'll be rudy sunrise yeah you. can still dance with one leg but get a. leg up on it that's it got it combine my. quote with your quote so that i can feel. like i'm contributing right fine all. right you named it rudy sunrise i know. all right well here we here we're going. to put kyron right here something to. donate please donate to the rudy sunrise. right so. so. is there a way do you know the right guy. that's going to be i can funnel all that. and make that happen of course so then. can we liquidate it in the cash all. right we bury it where we're going to. bury it well we can't tell these [ __ ].
people then they'll know but this is. just mock all right then we'll fake it. we'll fake it so where will we do it. where's it where's like a smart place to. bury i know where chula vista no where. we go to the philippines. oh. yes we go to the philippines because you. know they have six thousand islands. we gotta find it and we can go to. duterte. was that the name the dart day yeah they. go. you like money. i do i do right there we go. and i go we'll give you 5 million in.
cash. can we buy a small island. is that how much islands cost i don't. know we don't know how much do islands. cost in the philippines yeah 5 million. seems like a [ __ ] load of money for the. philippines it's an island though dude. by the time how much land is really. there a million i would say a million. islands for sale in the philippines. there you go let's buy one right now. yeah there's got to be one on sale look. at those beautiful wow. dao island how much is that. dao can we buy down i want to buy dial. uh 49 47 acres.
how much wait that says 117 acres. how come they see they're not going to. tell you they're going to tell you it. says inquire now top right yeah you'd. have to ask yeah yeah anyway we get that. island what a beautiful island that's. ours right. and then in the center of that we we. bury it okay but how do we keep the. money safe while we're gone. oh she lives there now we build her a. little hut. and with her knives it's a knife wall. mm-hmm right this sounds like the actual. pre-emptive beginning of bottoms of. turtleneck.
i think this is that's the prequel the. prequel this is the prequel of bottoms. and she we were going there to get our. money back and she wouldn't let us well. that died protected i don't know what. happened how about this. we're in prison of course right yeah. should we build a little shack you'll. have a pool and you'll have all that all. the trimmings right in this shack right. and you're bored you have dogs obviously. because you get bored right and one of. the dogs is missing let's see julio's. missing right nightmare you're going. julio right and in the distance here.
you know him barking right that's more. of a duck yeah yeah yeah yeah dogs don't. do that yeah but julio does. right so you're and then he finds right. what julio finds is. a [ __ ]. one what do you call it a tombstone. but with some ancient writing on it what. language. in not. um egyptian oh so it makes it weird yeah. very weird very odd place like there's a. there's even an egyptian.
breakthrough. no oh you know how they. yeah. what is this stupid. but no but you know a little. clyro chiroglyphic chiroglyphics is that. what they call it hieroglyphics. hieroglyphic hieroglyphic hieroglyphic. there it is they have one like this yeah. on their right serving food it's some. egyptian thing right right but in the. thing right. the hand sticking out of the tombstone. this figure right. this one if you push it down.
there's a lever. right. and there's a spiraled staircase that. opens. you walk all the way down there right. and that's maybe one of the portals to. hell oh [ __ ] right. and if there's even a sign portal. yeah it's pretty right right just so. that the people watching the movie but. what language. in english just to make it in english. you don't have to do subtitles the good. one right that makes sense portal to. hell right you go inside that.
it changes you forever. we get out of prison. we ring your cell phone what the [ __ ]. where the [ __ ] is she yeah we're trying. to get our [ __ ]. million dollars hitting that [ __ ]. stupid bow down. dao island right uh-huh we go. we go into the shack. all we see is skeletons of our dogs. she hates that dog yes julio's maybe. barely still going. she ate half of julio yeah. so half of him is dead maybe yeah maybe. he's barely alive wow and he's trying to.
tell us. she's a demon she's a demon there's a. neighbor yeah she's a demon that's a. parrot doing that is that what it is. yeah we will have a parrot there's a. demon forget julio is a parrot now. she's a demon she's a demon yeah and we. we're we're like. yeah yeah. right right and we're going something. back but we don't even what did you do. we don't even give the parent the. [ __ ] acknowledgement that he said it. we just go i think something bad's going. on she's a demon something's bad. something bad he's a demon i think. something bad we never acknowledged the.
parrot where are all the dogs that were. here she ate them she ate them. yeah yeah so then give us all the hints. right portal to health portal. yeah right. and then the is there a little mountain. yeah there's a look in the center. there's a little hill yeah right. you get you make it up the hill in five. minutes because it takes me 24 hours. because i'm fat for sure right physical. so you're like constantly going come on. dude like sisyphus i have to push you. yeah i see you you i see a thing here. you know i mean an empty you know. i barely finally get up there 24 hours.
later. and then what happens you push me in i. push you in the portal to hell right and. that's where. is that part two or what's going on here. i have no idea are we rewriting yeah we. have to. oh yeah we're right we've gone so far so. far yeah but i pushed you in the portal. hell that opened that's the beginning of. the film but when do. i want to know in this group right. before i put you in the portal of hell. no we way before as you're blown we got. out of prison right when i come i push.
you in the portal of hell we get out of. prison the same day. right before we go to dao island we. didn't do any gay [ __ ] in prison but we. do right we were different we're. different they don't wanna it's in the. same prison the moment we get out right. and the taxi rides and i learned so much. there. like in my prison because you were a. total i was a toy yeah i learned how to. do 19 dicks at a time right i know how. to jerk somebody off with my feet. like i am a master yeah and you. became a christian big time yeah so you. never did anything jesus christ so we.
call each other after we get our prison. and go you're like let's go to dao i. like no let's go to the hilton. no i want to go to dallas no let's go to. hilton no i want to go i need to say i i. i. don't you think you should we should. catch up. okay. there we go thank you. we meet at the hilton yeah and you think. there's two rooms yeah i go um no i just. thought because you know. we could talk all night i got two. different beds sure. they're pushed together though i know i. did that why because i want to talk and.
i have a bad earring. right right right. and then um. why are your clothes off. because you know. well. what the [ __ ]. i guess that's the giveaway yeah that's. a dead giveaway yeah i want to flock. which is fine but why is your penis head. covered. oh because i'm 50. yeah just push hard i don't want that in. the movie you don't want your penis head. thing i don't want to put penis i don't. want hilarious i don't want my penis how. could we not put that in the movie. because i want to play or younger in my. in the movie you're not going to be able. to but.
what does it matter you don't like the. cheese smell. that's exactly why i don't want that all. right i want to clean it up anyway okay. let's call bobby lee real fast then we. gotta go. uh hello can you hear me. uh can you what. yeah yeah i can hear you what's up bobby. bobby lee. yes yes yes this is speaking i'm sorry. that was a weird intro just talking to a. dude uh very very dark topic so i'm like.
on a curve right now what what was the. dark topic. uh. cancer stuff like that brain stuff we. love kids we love. trip so that was the great news actually. nice i see. bobby lee you're talking you're talking. about bobby lee obviously you're talking. to bobby lee. this is amazing this is uh. did you now did you know about. me as bobby lee before.
have you ever. did you know there was another bobby lee. out there that was a comedian oh no i've. known about you for like 20 years or not. like longer not 20 years but like 10. years wow or whatever the 2008 uh second. pineapple express oh. but let me say this were you were you a. fan did you really like him or were you. just whatever. well it's it's cool it's so cool it's. like uh i mean there's only however many. names in the world and like and i'm. sharing it with them so like that's. different you know i i i'm a huge fan of.
yours as well he's a big mma fan. um. what's your record now in the mma. my record in professional fighting is 12. and six what about what about street. fights. street fights ooh uh technically like. only want to know but there was like a. couple of that's right bobby lee we uh. we support you wholeheartedly as is your. career continuing about sponsoring you. yeah bobby we think uh we think you're.
the man we love your name. uh. and maybe we can maybe we can throw him. some bad friend stuff so he can wear bad. friend stuff we would love to do that i. think that would be the way where do you. live right now bobby. i'm in minneapolis i moved down just. this week to be closer to like this. really good gym oh cool you know i used. to live in edina. that's that's crazy i did not know that. yeah where where's your where's your. when's your next fight bob. it's uh six weeks out it's uh october. 16th in phoenix october 16th in phoenix.
watch out for bobby lee he's fighting. who are you fighting. nick brown. what weight class are you. one five five light weight one five five. amazing bobby lee versus nick brown. october 16th my birthday by the way. which uh i'm i'm excited for for you so. go kick his ass bobby thank you for uh. thank you for talking to us we support. you man i support you man. to a friend who uh who's listened to. every single one of your episodes um. austin halverson has listened to every.
single one of your episodes he's a huge. fan shout out shout out to austin austin. thank you give me my name [ __ ] yeah. thanks man all right bobby we'll talk to. you soon thanks buddy. have a good one bye. thank you for being a bad friend. [Music]. yes.
[Music].
