Bobby's Sober Birthday | Ep 153 | Bad Friends

two are bad friends who are these two. idiots. [Music]. or something we're bad friends so I uh I. woke up and those cat vomitable you know. I haven't lived alone in so long. so I know how to function like I don't. know how to clean things yeah. are you doing that again because you. know you're one of my best friends. you are use it hard yeah yeah and I just.

51 years old I understand that 51 I. called you seven times today. I'm trying to or I'm leaving from two. months and I've called you seven times. and you can't pick up you're a movie. star that's right all right so what I'm. saying is that you know I'm going. through a hard time so you do a movie. that's what it is I don't do movies sir. you're I don't get invited you just so. you're bragging you just did the movie. with Jamie Lee Curtis and all those. people nine years ago. I shouldn't I know it shouldn't but let. me say this yeah.

can I just express how I feel nah you. know I'm leaving. and you didn't answer the phone before 3. P.M because I okay and you know I'm. trying to coordinate stuff so all day. coordinate and I know you're not. coordinate I was trying to coordinate. huh and I know you're not sleeping I. know you're on Rye or some [ __ ]. am I right the band I know you're on. Raya all right I know you're swiping. when you see my call and you flick me. away because you're trying to get punani. and that's not okay. yes you [ __ ] dude I do.

how many girls came to the store last. night or to The Improv couple. you had a harem and where were you when. I'm Asian I need concubines you don't. know you don't know we need coffee where. were you when the show was over gone and. where was I in the room yeah and they're. all like where's Bobby yeah you're. supposed to take care of my concubines I. don't want a [ __ ] concubine they're. my concubines under your concubines you. have redheaded white ones I have white. content I know why could I just tell you. what's going on with me yeah please.

don't roll your eyes dude because I want. to be your friend I didn't roll my eyes. yeah you went like that all right ask me. again. can I tell you what's going on with me. yes okay. I have a sore throat no great and I. can't and I I'm losing my voice and I. cancel my spots tonight why are you. losing your voice you think you have. covet no I swear to God I was screaming. yesterday why I perform. at The Improv and The Comedy Store did. you like your spot. at The Improv yeah. did you.

no they were [ __ ] terrible but you. know why because he brought 35 students. dude when you bring your students it's. always bad it's nighttime USA bad joke. nightmare I mean Nightmare Night night. time. nightmare USA not night time it was. night time it is do you guys think. you're not funny for that age group dude. yeah I just feel like I'm offensive this. [ __ ] this [ __ ] guy you cut. your [ __ ] out right now yeah we're. not Seinfeld no all right and we're not. Carrot Top we don't do [ __ ] props why. don't you say Carrot Top what does that.

have to do why why pointed you yeah why. why I'm sorry we're not Ken Jong and. keraton yeah that's what I meant to say. okay we're different we're different we. have our own voices whatever way of. doing it. don't I'm by myself yeah right so I. don't know how anything works like I've. never used the washer and dryer you're. right so I'm trying to figure out all. the code you know the buttons like what. does this deep hot one do it says right. on it it's like Home Alone why are you.

[ __ ] talking right. he brings students here and he thinks. he's a comedian to them comedian you. know they don't even know his name's. fancy yeah his name is fancy and can I. say something students he has no power. here none. he has no power here powerless Spanish. turd yeah I can make one phone call gone. who by the way yeah needs to button up. his shirt that's so gross so gross hey. could I say students he never does that. when you're not here that's right he's. doing it because he's completely. buttoned up to the top but with the.

students it's out like [ __ ] and you know. what sucks about your that you're that. move you're not Burt Reynolds you have. no hair there you're not so it just. looks like a little boy burnt Reynolds. you're burnt. your burnt Reynolds your scumbag no. you're like uh Bert Culkin yeah your. book. you're one of the Caulkins ones but. you're young so a cat grew up although. no not just. it's a trail of throw up ah right see I. I wake up my throat's sore right don't.

do that face man I'm agreeing with you. watch. I'm just on your team all right your. throat is sore my sore throat throat. sore yeah and the cat cat vomit I'm. cleaning cleaning cleaning cleaning. right yeah did I realize I didn't eat. you haven't eaten yet yeah well we're in. Mexican food hello why do they look at. me because you're Mexican. what was that is that Carlos yeah what. are you doing here I'm not yeah come sit.

in the chair for a second so we can. stranger danger danger stranger stranger. danger stranger danger yeah yeah let me. ask you something legitimately yeah did. you offer the kids anything to eat like. candy or anything no but there is candy. out there where'd you get the candy are. you growing out your hair dude of course. I am like a [ __ ] molester dude no he. doesn't you know who likes this hair. well what children look at me Ray. you have to bring up bloomy Ray huh oh I. heard you brought her up on tigerbelly.

and me I had to hear from kalila you. hang out with Lumi Ray I I have before. yeah yeah we talk good she texted me. today nice person yeah all right yeah. ooh this bad there's something's going. on here what's going on this I could. just feel some peace there's no heat no. you guys are good me and we are just. friends me and Lumi are also just. friends yeah yeah any penetration. penetration I'm asking. uh no Just Energy penetration you think. you have more energy penetration than. that oh no that's not what I meant are.

you trying to say that your energy. penetration is more when it comes to. [ __ ] energy penetration I'm [ __ ] a. Jedi number one number one number one. energy penetration I can't beat him I. can [ __ ] you right now with my energy do. it. dude. [Laughter]. yeah you see whoa well both I do like. this kimono that you rocking today. yeah it is this is a kimono what is it.

not what is it it's a baseball shirt. it's a jacket it's not a jacket yeah. Google picture of a jacket and we'll. show you what a jacket looks like just. so I can teach you a jacket that's. jacket yeah all right now do kimono okay. do kimono watch this come on I wanted to. see if you could spell it right. kimono yeah whoops looks exactly like. what you got no that's that looks. nothing like nothing show me the. difference look at that and what you got. on that one's more floral yeah this is a.

more of a chef's jacket. oh that is a chef shirt right that is a. chef shirt yeah Chef yeah yeah. everybody from today moving forward all. day today there it is I want I want to. Let's refer to Bobby as yes chef all day. today. okay yeah Chef yeah Chef no you don't. say you're the [ __ ] Chef why can't. you be a chef I'm not a chef oh I'm I'm. a uh. uh I'm the boss boy you look like a. baker I'm a baker yeah yeah yeah yes. Baker what is he huh what does he do the.

guy who collects all the the the oil. that changes the oil Vats at the end of. the night I don't know the Mexican I. don't know I didn't want to say it but. you said it I guess we had a restaurant. right you're the baker yeah I'm a chef. he's dishes 100 that's what I said the. same thing I tried to do that once they. wouldn't let me in Beverly Hills I went. to a steakhouse near because I have to. work there first well I could just ask I. wanted to work there and I was like can. I wash dishes and they're like. absolutely not absolutely not I wouldn't. let you touch the even the dirty dishes.

I wouldn't let you touch that's what I. was applying for to touch the dirty. dishes and they said no yeah can I tell. you why looks no because that's a big. one that is a very big one but I was. gonna say that that's mean oh you're. gonna okay what my race but wrong color. exactly you're one of the light-skinned. Mexicans and they want the dark skins. and they work harder no there's no. attitude there's no like hey you know. it's my I mean sisters Quinceanera right. I mean I gotta go yeah get the day off. like they would have the quinceanera at.

the restaurant that's how dedicated they. are yeah we'll just have it here yeah. working and having it have you had a. quinceanera I've been to a couple but. I've never what about yours I'm a male. what's a guy version called there's no. quinceanera for men no why what yeah. guys we gotta do that because there's a. bot Mitzvah and a bar mitzvah for Jewish. kids right but for the boys there is. none what does it say the quinceanos for. a boy also follows the same traditional. I didn't get that reasoning as a modern. quinceanera so you present the child to.

God in front of their family and friends. gross we should do one now continuous. what's it called. continuals No I feel like that's not. like a popular one it's more the. whatever I think it's pretty [ __ ]. popular you probably look at the photos. 2.4 million results I think uh yeah I. mean I'm Mexican and I never heard of it. yeah because that's why you're not the. Washington you also don't speak Spanish. so yeah oh [ __ ] that's a big one that's. sad I want to say this I want to say. this go ahead it is your sober birthday. so happy birthday oh well finally.

something. oh my God something you know you're. that's that's something okay can I tell. you something do you know you didn't. even wish me happy birthday on my. [ __ ] real birthday this year it's not. the same why I was born into the [ __ ]. world yeah we all were. and I wish you Happy Birthday on your. [ __ ] birthday yeah and I think I mean. it was thank you but. I mean what yeah exactly he wants a gift. like this Gucci or something no no he.

does no well we got you a gift no that's. not what I want gift number one come on. in we got you gifts for your sober. birthday here we go I've always wanted. one. how many wait sit down sit down. [Music]. when you said you always wanted one what. what were you talking about a token a. token what. a chip a token chip yes what it said you.

weren't referring to a kind of person at. all what's your name Sam Sam I love Sam. when you said token. did you mean chip this is a lot of chips. man yeah thank you so much why don't you. look Sam in their face and say thank you. I apologize say thank you what I'm sorry. for what why are you apologizing to him. oh Sam for the years. [Laughter]. just for his history history yeah that's. what I mean that's Bob you don't know. Bobby every day and in one hand are you.

part of the class yes I am okay cool how. old are you 20. [ __ ] yeah he's one of us. he works on the inside he's our intern. he's one of our you're part of our. family minion well I can see whatever I. want. he's not a [ __ ] wait let's stop. what's up he's an employee no he's not. an employee we're not paying him it's an. intern so all right yeah he's working. for free can I ask you some questions. Sam sure good to be listen so much okay. I mean you know it's great can I tell. you something you know you know we're. all on that pond right now and you can.

see that it water is going to come right. through at any point we're walking on. oh it's a cold Pond no it's warm it's. getting warm I can tell with the ice is. frozen well you can tell there's a. couple of bubbles popping up there like. at some moment we're gonna fall right. through the ice we're not you know that. game when you hit the ice cubes out of. the thing yeah. what was that called uh break the ice. break the ice stupid game name yeah uh. it was sort of like um in the Dark. Knight when there was the punishment.

right whether you if they run across the. eyes yeah and then people fell through. Sam did you like The Dark Knight. what that is dark Batman Dark Knight. you don't know any Batman movie. you've never okay. I just educate yeah yeah um open your. eyes. if he was Asian that would be weird. how do you know I'm not.

bro here we go no no no that that is. true Woods. complication. yeah how do you identify black there we. go. I knew it I told you. Caribbean is that what you said yeah all. right family's from the Caribbean yeah. I'm from Haiti love them I love it. Haitian close to French yeah yeah the.

only reason I picked up on any of that. stuff is because I listened to Wyclef. Jean's the carnival for like 75 hours. when I was a kid do you know what that. is of course do you know what that is I. haven't listened to what you said. there's no idea because I'm focused on. him. can I ask some questions please so did. you let me ask you is it because of the. genre you don't like superhero genre. movies well I wasn't really a moviegoers. kid but I can't adapt to it or you can. adapt a movie. so when you're in a movie theater you.

have to change that no figure it out my. parents ever took me to movies as a kid. but why is that they're just boring and. strict okay sorry Mom but. pry some more no because see if you can. crack this truck I can hear the eyes. cracking beneath my feet I feel like. yeah and I'm when I I you know what I. want to fall you know what I'm doing I. want to die I'm going you know what I'm. going to die walk out further I'm gonna. go further walk out further I'm going to. go further go for it here we go here's a. go for it baby it's gonna be so.

comfortable come on Sam okay so ask him. what you want to ask him what I want to. ask you so um you weren't your your. parents didn't take you to movies but. she didn't move. um grow up with movie culture right not. really so what's the top three movies. you've seen the top three movies I've. seen yeah like in my opinion or just. your opinion yeah yeah not with critics. opinion or whatever you know what I mean. um let's do it I gotta think can I do my. most recent movies yeah. okay I just saw the new Whitney movie. love I look you know Whitney Houston the.

singer. no. no stop. I know I know. I got it can I have it listen I'm all. part of planet Earth. okay I know who Whitney is okay died in. the tub all right so Whitney that's one. of your favorite movies recently you saw. it what else what did you say my recent. yeah go ahead it could be a favorite. um what did I watch I don't I'm trying. to remember put him on the spot I. watched black panther I feel like. everyone's watched that well no not all.

of us who's not all of us. the wakanda foreign. I haven't seen either it's just too many. black people for me for some reason it. was just. no I saw no I have seen it I have seen. it I didn't see the new one I think I. don't think I wanted to see the new one. I thought the first one was so good I. don't know if I wanted to see a second. the new one is sad and I also I didn't. want it to ruin how I liked the first. one because I I knew I was going to be. like this isn't as [ __ ] good yeah and.

it wasn't was it well it was good it was. just really sad because you know the. lead died yeah Chadwick Boseman what can. you imagine anyway so Whitney um what. kind of forever give me the third one. wait you're putting me on the spot how. about some over the years the TV shows. that you saw uh well you're oh I was. just talking about The Parent Trap today. because I was writing a picture about it. that's good you're writing a paper by. The Parent Trap Yes Man school is dog. [ __ ]. yeah no not first class I'm in a history. of film class I'm a film major but.

movies for some reasons I'm a niche. here's the video about Sam I like what. they just said that was crazy yeah I'm. in film class but movie's not my thing I. said it's not my Niche oh near the. difference well what's the difference. between Niche and things. and Niche is like okay wait wait his I. love his attitude he's fired okay you're. hiring it's just like it can be like. your thing but I feel like a niche is. like that's really your thing right and.

the thing could be multiple things like. give me like let me give you an example. for music I can say my niches r b but. for one of my things music is one of my. things and the movies could be one of my. other things yeah I agree with almost. nothing he just said I don't even. understand any of that but I gotta tell. you but I was just talking maybe one of. the best lawyers I've ever seen yeah. yeah presented a case without any. evidence but still as a judge I'd go. [ __ ] it fine this guy did great yeah. right so he literally did this yeah like. this ready go ahead the color blue yeah.

it's a color but it's also a thing of. its own and doesn't have to be is it. still yes yes I think that's what he. just did yeah and did it work no no but. it but it was a good try Sam once Sam's. out of school and Sam's going to school. for the audience who wants to know Ed. Quinnipiac with fancy. right can we say this yeah yeah okay. Sam's going to school Sam Sam wants to. come work with us maybe you do he's got. some [ __ ] demands what is it what are.

your demands he wants to put him put him. up in a house he said he has to have a. house to live in an apartment I was. gonna say Transportation but I didn't. look too needy right but I I can't do. the buses and the I need my own wheels. okay you don't have a car now so we have. to give him a car and a place to live. and he'll come here. think about it can he live with you no. can you have your old car yes you can. live with me can you have your old car I. just thought about it. I want him to live with me do you know. how to work a washer and dryer. absolutely. absolutely. I just told him I was oh.

I'll clean but not the cat vomit I don't. even like cleaning human vomit right I. get that I get that yeah but will you. clean everything else of course okay so. look clean can you cook absolutely cooks. and cleans what could he cook. um I had to make chicken parm the other. day I love you man thank you can I say. that of course yeah Sam Sam is one of us. what do you mean by that one of us one. of us one of us I actually like him on. the mic yeah he's great yeah you're. weird.

yeah yeah well how about Sam stays there. for a minute and then we swap out Carlos. and bring in so. let's bring it let's bring in somebody. that hasn't been around in a long time. for a myriad of reasons and we we're so. happy that this person is back ladies. and gentlemen it is the return. of the ever famous Rudy probably the. real star of the show Rudy Jules Rudy. Jules come on everybody. Rudy this is Sam say hi to Sam hi Rudy. nice to meet you nice to meet you I like.

your shirt notice thank you did you. notice what she did are you wearing. makeup a lot of makeup are you wearing. makeup yeah oh rude Rudy's got some. amazing she didn't shake his hand yeah. do it it was deliberate deliberate he. went to shake your hand and you didn't. oh I didn't see I wasn't hi sir. very good Rudy Jules I haven't seen you. in so long how's uh how's school it's. good busy I already have a work you. already have all work yeah what you mean.

homework work work what job would you. have now I'm a student assistant at like. a college like a College of Arts in. Northridge. what does that mean I don't know is that. a real job what are you doing are you. getting paid money or not how much tell. us 15.50 per hour 15 and 50 cents for. one whole hour. amazing good no that's good it is very. good modern work study oh no it's just I. take calls I greet people you take calls.

to the what's that what is it the like. the phone and then I just answered yeah. no I know it's a [ __ ] phone but I'm. saying what are you making who are you. taking calls about like anyone if they. have questions then I just have to. answer okay here we go. [Music].

what do you say again we don't. understand what you're saying. College Dean's office is this the Dean's. office. are we in trouble. hey so listen uh we're curious to know. about uh maybe one of our uh one of our. kids applying to come to school there oh. did you put down the phone no sorry. okay so um Jimmy and I yeah we're.

together yeah we're together and we have. we adopted the kid back in the 80s yep. yeah I mean I I don't need to know. personal information just tell me what. you need that's rude oh that's so rude. because we're trying to tell you about. our background yeah why. hold on one second except these girls. are fine [ __ ] I [ __ ] we should ask. for the manager yeah the dean ask for. the dean yeah can we speak to the dean. the dean. um unfortunately the dean is unavailable. right now you sound like a liar no. anyway our kid right Simone Simone.

Samoan he's Samoan he's Samoan and. that's what he named him too okay. because we were just kind of like we. don't know what the name of them so we. just named him Samoan yeah so um he. wants to play football at your school or. Russell yeah or do you have or shot do. you have. um badminton. okay so this is College of Arts the. department of art Samoan paints he does. his water Simone loves painting he loves. the watercolors so what does he want to.

do football or or okay yeah you could. just add it hold on one second yeah this. [ __ ] I cannot say it's called pervert. I know I think we should go to Harvard. we should because Mike Mike Curb is not. going to get it yeah anyway so listen we. want our son to go there he does paint. with watercolors yeah so what's the deal. are you interested in our son Samoan. Simon Lee okay so I'm just a student. assistant but I can transfer you to. someone that knows more about this could.

have said that at the beginning yeah. could have said that right we can't get. that five minutes back right okay I'm. sorry what's your name I'm reporting. yeah what's your name Andrea smart very. good see your Survivor you are surviving. you do know so that's what you do you. you you you you link up calls yeah wow. and do you like it have you worked yet. yeah I've been working for the past five. days and then the first day I was so. scared so every time I would take a call. I would just. right she's growing up she's growing up.

look at her are you still dating that. same guy yeah whoa this is getting. serious how long has this been now. um. you look at your hands when you figure. out how long you've been together like. eight months how long have you and I. know your hands are like an abacus. It's A Beautiful. Minds on her hands. um I saw your show did you Andrew what. do you mean what show cheeseburger you. saw my stand-up special yeah did you. like it yeah but I don't remember I.

don't need any more yeah you like it I. was laughing good she didn't like it but. she laughed yeah but I'll take one of. the two if you laugh and don't like it. still fine with that. so thanks for watching can I ask you. some serious questions so you know they. moved out. so kalila and Jules move it out of my. house. we're happy about it do you miss me. yeah. oh man that's not real yes it was it was. it actually looked real where do you.

live now. somewhere some [ __ ] [ __ ] scum rat. [ __ ] do you notice that I'm not around. or I do I do it's more cleaner. what did she say it's cleaner no yeah no. it's not it's not it is that's why I. missed it because it's it feels. different oh you want it to be dirty. yeah. and how the dog's acting they're good. they really like the place they're like. having fun like in the backyard so they.

don't miss me at all you don't think I. don't know oh my God why are you doing. this to him just lie and say okay yeah. they missed him yeah they miss you buddy. they all miss you a lot they all miss. you a lot to Bobby so much and it's like. [ __ ] disaster it's pretty crazy how. much they missed but I went to his place. last night and then why when I came in. it just smelled like vomit well the cats. threw up everywhere that's not his fault. and he did throw up as well you clean it. up huh could you help me out and clean.

it up do you see the cat helmet yeah all. over the house right. now. before I went to phone one of the most. exciting things about a new year is that. you have no idea what Adventures are in. store for you we. from new travel experiences to new jobs. or picking up new skills there's no. better way to prepare for 2023 by than. by learning a new language with Babel. you only need 10 minutes to complete a. lesson all right it's that easy I was.

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and it's and the better help is the best. way to do that guys it sure is I believe. in therapy Bob and I have talked about. this for a long time when uh you're at. your best you do great things and. sometimes life gets you bogged down. you're gonna feel overwhelmed and you're. not showing up the way you used to or. the way you want to working with the. therapist is going to help you get you. closer to the best version of yourself. to the goals that you want to achieve. and if you're thinking about Karen. giving therapy a try better help is a. very very good option it's convenient. flexible affordable and entirely online. just fill out a brief questionnaire to. get matched with a licensed therapist.

and switch therapists at any time for no. additional charge I've used it and I. love it I like to be in the comfort of. my own home to speak with somebody and. if you're looking to live a more. empowered life therapy can get you there. especially using better help visit. betterhelp.com bad friend today to get. 10 off your first month that's better. help.com. bad friends. wait so you guys used to live together. with dogs and cats yeah yeah how did. that go well they planned on eating some. of them but it never got around and you. had your ex-girlfriend in the house too.

yeah wow well his ex-girlfriend is her. aunt oh okay okay family okay yeah. they're fam that's blood and there's. they used to be really blood with us but. now that they've departed we feel like. there's no there's no connection anymore. yeah. it's really kind of sad this show was. kind of built on family and uh Sam. that's why kind of we're asking you to. be a part of the family that's really. yeah because these other people are. we're done with the Filipinos are we're. not we're done with those people are you. not from no no she's from the. Philippines yeah you just said you were.

but she's here I know but this is kind. of an interim thing we bought them we we. got them on discount pre-covered yeah. what did we pay for that 12.95 there's. 12.95 with the coupon well yeah right. yeah yeah you were if you on the back of. a Coke can there's always I guess one. for Six Flags and one for a Filipino. Filipino Coke cans they don't do it in. America so we had to smuggle some Coke. cans we peel the label yeah you win two. and we won two one was hot you know I. mean one was like her niece her niece. but I really do miss you guys and uh we. miss seeing you around I feel honestly I.

feel lost yeah I mean I just honestly. the honest truth is I feel so miserable. and lost and empty how do you feel about. that. I feel sad is that an emotion someone. told you to feel or do you feel that. real I feel it here. yeah that's where you feel the emotions. yeah you wouldn't feel here it's like. they just programmed like they just sent. her out they were like okay we just. reprogrammed no but I am a sister Bobby. you're sad yeah so the whilst did you.

see the Washington uh I mean the um not. Washington Journal the um. Wall Street Journal they did an opinion. piece there are too many Asians I agree. did I write this piece. no what do you mean there's actually. there's a big you know there's a big uh. you know China is struggling their. population is I know downfield just go. to images Maybe. well the problem is it's that China is. not is having any of those baby ones are. there too many Asians are there too many.

Asians let's answer that question well. Sam yes are there two other too many. Asians I don't think so how many would. you you want more. sure my best friend is Asian that's. great yeah hey this is gonna be my first. time with Sam doing this uh get closer. to the mic. the old days we used to yell at her. about that all the time yeah okay so. wait there you don't think there are too. many Asians not really I don't see you. often from where I'm from right where. are you from Jersey oh there's not a lot. no if you go to New York then you'll see. something yeah I know we've been there.

okay so you're saying you're a part of. Jersey there's not a lot of Asians not. really not what part of Jersey are you. from I'm from Lake Jersey North Jersey. yeah I'm not like near the beaches I'm. like more in the city okay I love when. they say beaches in New Jersey they are. beaches yeah but not really no it is uh. yes they are really I haven't been to. the Cali beaches yet so you can't so. what I'm saying is that like you know um. a professional super well let's go to. New Jersey and ride the waves yeah they. do yes. don't don't do that.

we have nice beaches I know but there's. no waves there's no [ __ ] Palms. it's dirty by the boardwalk but you. could get some waves you can go a little. further that should be on a t-shirt like. what three miles in no. I don't know I don't swim yeah wait you. don't swim. wait stop I didn't say anything. you don't swim I do not why I can't I. don't know how to swim so it's either I.

drown or I just walk on four feet pools. well that's we gotta figure that out we. gotta figure it out we gotta feel like. we're getting back out on that ice again. yeah go ahead in my Islands not a lot of. Filipinos know to swim. yeah but that's because why sharks. because they're too afraid to go to the. sun because they don't want to get dark. oh boy I feel like we're all back on the. ice no no she's not nice with me oh she.

is now oh yeah and I'm a short going you. guys come on get off the ice but you. know what it is about Philippines they. probably believe in some weird [ __ ]. Hocus Pocus thing that's in the water. you know them they probably tricked. Filipinos to be like you can't go swim. otherwise the the monster of Bogota will. come get you you know what I mean they. tricked them so they want them to stay. on the island right is there like a Loch. Ness kind of a vibe in there's nothing. in there there's a sea creature in the. Philippines that you get scared of. no oh wow yeah there is there is what's. it called.

what's the sea creature in the. Philippines that they trick you guys as. kids not to go swimming yeah yeah it's. um but not. don't do what is it what is it called. I'm trying to remember yeah try to. remember. see try to find dugong dugong. Philippines creature. I've heard of it before in New Jersey is. there a [ __ ] creature that black. people are afraid of no okay just the. dirt and the maybe R Kelly maybe R. Kelly's out there yeah I guess our.

Kelly's in the water oh is that what it. looks like there's the dude going in the. Philippines it's a manatee I'm gonna say. it looks like a big walrus no that's the. dugong and they will eat you and they. don't want you to go out in the. Philippines because it'll see that looks. like a bloated dolphin I don't know. manatee Manatee well it is that's what. they call them but that is a bloated off. let's just have let's let's have Sam say. thank you to Salmon let's get Sam back. thank you thank you thank you Sam we. love you thank you Sam you're the. greatest. okay so here's what can I ask them we. have a couple more gifts for you because.

of your sobriety so let's bring in the. second gift. we can rifle through people we're proud. of you. okay hi all right okay thank you can you. sit down for a second what's your name. Grace Grace say it into the mic Grace. Here Comes Grace hi Grace hi will that. might draw your face Grace I never could. get I get a hold of this book but it's. good it's stinking thinking by Gail. rosalini it's a really good book it's a. great book it's a classic and um did you. buy for me yeah Straight From the Heart. oh you bought it from the heart yeah she.

paid with emotion that's that's great. did you go to the store to buy this. um yeah that's where you get books I. know but what book did you store did you. go to make it up Grace. there sure are what do you think what. Grace what year are you at uh the school. this is my second year sophomore yeah. yeah that's what we say we say sophomore. but you say second year and I get it. because maybe you'll do more than four. years I'm actually doing I'm graduating. next year whoa someone's smart yes yes.

May please. do you think I have stinking thinking. then why would you give me this book I. mean. I like the cover. all right Grace you can go back thank. you thank you Greg stay stay. so you just kind of walked into the. bookstore and just grab whatever off the. show like I said came from the heart so. I was like you know I let my heart guide.

me oh so your heart guided you yes. that's interesting do you do that with. all your life in your life when you go. to a restaurant pretty much my heart. says yeah yeah I meditate on it a little. bit you do yeah well thank you so much. for the book um how much sobriety time. do I have. not enough that is such a good answer. she's so good not enough I can't get her. where are you from I'm from Boston [ __ ]. yeah man what a great time Boston. Boston's a great time one of the best. you guys are tough people.

we are yeah do you want to fight. maybe later oh wow did you go up. Catholic I did I went to Catholic School. wow you really you know I got the whole. experience yeah whole package with the. priests and everything priests yeah. I just feel like I'm on the ice again. yeah once I said priest yeah yeah. well thank you so much for the book of. course. this guy needs gifts.

thank you Grace you're the best really. appreciate you Grace your you guys are. great. hey this one You're Gonna Love. take a seat she doesn't know much but. she's a nice girl we spoke before. what's that uh pull the mic to your face. oh okay I don't know much so no no no no. Matt put this in close to your mouth oh. really close there you go okay yeah. so this girl her name is. what is it what is it it's Taylor Taylor.

Taylor [ __ ] like the Swift that's right. exactly good what's so funny nothing. um so Taylor Taylor you got me this hat. in the front uh it says one day at a. time and what's the creature in the. front that's a camel. she's very good yeah she got it so one. day at a time and why why'd you get me. this hat. why do you think it says one day at a. time you just gotta take things one day. at a time that's what does that mean to. you though. what I just said great.

it's pretty good is this an. advertisement for cigarettes is this A. Camel cigarette is that what that is no. it really is like uh AAA approved but. but what does the camel have to do with. anything I don't know I maybe because. they're dry yeah huh they're dry dry and. you're dry you're sober so dry or they. move very slowly or they spit a lot yeah. the camel represents something in AA. what what is it it's a symbol for. sobriety because a camel can go 24 hours. without a drink there you go oh yeah but. that's just one day but one day but one. day at a time camel to camel one day I.

know but then tomorrow. right the camera might be drinking right. right he's drinking the next day yeah it. just means he goes one day without. drinking yeah so I would take it one day. at a time yeah yeah great gift Taylor. and is it when they say drinking was it. like alcohol. well do camels drink alcohol they do. that's what is it water no they survive. on just alcohol yeah what like sex on. the beach or whatever yeah Taylor yeah. Taylor your energy was amazing that's. why I was happy to bring you on the show. because when you got a gift I knew that. you were gonna give Bobby something.

meaningful and wonderful yeah of course. because you care about Bobby don't you I. do tell them how big of a fan you are oh. I'm your biggest fan name some of the. stuff you've seen yeah also yeah let me. ask them so um what city am I from what. city are you from yeah. I don't know this one yeah there we go. we're close to Santa very close to San. Diego it's close yeah close enough how. old is Bobby how old is Bobby 51 51 that. was good no she knows that's pretty good. I knew that how tall is Bobby. five four that's right right I saw the.

hand I didn't show her anything yeah let. me see your hands I waved at it it's. great I went hi Taylor oh you did yeah. all right my bad yeah and which Asian is. Bobby I'm gonna go Korean there it is. you see Korean before did I yeah I don't. think so yeah ages I didn't yeah did I. say that I don't think I did what was. Bobby's favorite drug when he was using. see I don't know him from those days oh. those are old days yeah yeah I bet you. could guess just by looking at his face. though huh uh we'll say the same time.

we'll pick a drug on the count of three. one two three methamphetamine that one's. good too. wow. that's insane that's crazy what you did. I love it but he looks but he's a good. looking guy though still right after all. those years of course like out of ten. we'd rank him out of 10 we'll say it. together on the count of three he's a. one two three eleven wow okay just give. me some of the movies some of the movies. that I've seen that I've been in that. you've been in yeah. I I don't know I haven't. I'm like Sam I'm a film major haven't.

seen a lot of movies I haven't seen a. lot of movies that's normal she's gender. any TV show I was in. no I'm sorry okay that's okay we should. not fan though she is a fan she said she. thinks you're so cool what um TV shows. has he been in. yeah. it was a really good Kevin Hart movie he. did on on Netflix it's really good it is. pretty good what's it called me time. it's called right me time yeah yeah me. time right there there it is and um.

Andrew steals the movie again. that's why he's going to Australia to do. another movie yeah I believe it yeah. yeah good there are there I am there he. is look at that Kevin Hart is right. there yeah that's me and Kevin Hartford. towering over him. I'm six one yeah and he's four three so. you know of course he is look at that. that is that is a funny scale yeah it is. kind of cool working with him because. you're you're allowed to pick him up. whenever you want yeah you're kind of. like a like you know like at your dog. your house you can pick it up and kiss. it yeah he'll let you put you you can. put him on his dashboard in your car and.

just drive around town he loves it his. head wobbles he does the wobble thing uh. Taylor what a pleasure it's been having. you on this show I want to say that. thank you so much thank you so much is. there any more gifts and we got some. more gifts let's swap out a little. Taylor shout out to Taylor thank you. Taylor you're the best. thank you Taytay your legs are so thin. there to Andrew. are my legs thin there I mean I think. it's just the pants or pants are tight. what's up dude [ __ ] yeah bro. you're gonna like this guy he's Jewish. yeah I love them.

all right Kanye that's good we need more. of that in the world that's right oh. yeah. this book says what is it what is the. one what's the book he bought you was a. book you bought me ah substance abuse. and gay men or something pull that mic. towards your face oh yeah thank you uh. substance abuse and uh. I don't remember substance abuse and. like myself and you're one. so the book say your name again Ari Ari. should have guessed it. uh the book that already got you is gay.

men and substance abuse. and uh I gotta tell you. this is a good book. it is I've read this yeah yeah I just. it's a basic guide for addicts and those. who care for them so Michael Shelton. wrote this he's he's a he's an MS CAC. yeah I see the bottom he's an MS yeah. let me ask you something what is I mean. what would be the difference between a. game and become an alcoholic and a. straight man being an alcohol no you. tell us.

well uh all right Ari where are you from. uh I I'm also from Boston how about. another Bostonian another Bostonian. um are you are your uh are your dreams. and aspirations to move to Los Angeles. and get to film or to go to New York I. mean Los Angeles yeah you read me pretty. well. that's right it's all here on this book. yeah yeah uh so you want to move to Los. Angeles all right do you think I'm gay. after last night I mean I I'm not really. sure I was there last night you know the. Improv club right interesting way to.

start after last night I usually would. have been a joke about you guys [ __ ]. yeah but then he took it back to reality. that he saw you do standing so after. last night so before you saw my show you. were like he's not gay and then you saw. the show and then what's the conclusion. well I mean you did show us your pubes. yesterday that's right okay I mean but. you're the second comedians I've seen uh. Eric Andre was first there we go who's. were nicer. um you know he's dating Emily. Ratajkowski and you're not number one. uh just I mean just because I got you.

that book out of love I think I'm gonna. say yours. you have nicer pubes yeah. you son of a [ __ ]. what about is did my ACT make you feel. like I was gay though is that from the. pubes no no that was just like the one. and only thing the rest of your act you. gave me all the Good Vibes. yeah probably. wow wow.

yeah it's a new generation yeah may I. explode that or oh no of course. exploration yeah yeah uh back at the. pond yeah. so probably you're straight I mean have. you have you thought about. yeah everyone has it's 20 23. you know I. love this guy so much yeah I love this. guy so much yeah have you thought about. what. that's my roommate actually who I've. lived with for two years yeah that's. what they tell their direct roommate.

yeah yeah no Dad it's my roommate. sure yeah it was your roommate when. you're a roommate can I can you bring. your roommate out roommate come on. roommate. come on everybody. oh yeah 100 years. he came in like [ __ ] Sean Hayes. whoa dude. I've never he's a sitcom gay yeah he. just walked in hey all right so um wait. hold on one second we gotta we Rudy will.

you swap with him and let him do that. just so we get for two minutes just for. two minutes because we do want to talk. to Rudy when she gets back. so this is um what's your name I'm Nick. oh boy oh boy. you know you know what Nick rhymes with. yeah I've do you guys sleep in bunk beds. we Mega beds sometimes what's megabits. it's a megabyte I mean we have two. single beds and just push it together. the heat there's no heating at our.

school. does who buys breakfast. I make breakfast. who does he makes it. he makes the backpack yes he does yeah. yeah there's no shame in this you know. what I mean I mean him and I have done. that too yeah with mega bed yeah oh we. saw your yeah we've seen the shirts yeah. yeah we've done some stuff that's right. yes so you know you guys should feel. good about you you're good about it but. whatever you got going on you know and I. saw you both want to be in film yeah I.

feel like they're gonna make movies. together. what do you mean you make movies already. you already done it we've made like. short films yeah I like that can we see. them one day yeah yeah direct and right. yeah yeah right these guys are gonna. give us jobs down the road well I mean. in fact if you guys write a really good. short script maybe Andrew and I could be. the Stars oh 100 how great would that be. so down for that yeah yeah are you guys. available next no nope.

very good thank you boys very good. man this has been [ __ ] weird as [ __ ]. the weirdest show we've ever done the. weirdest [ __ ] show I think we've ever. done in our [ __ ] lives butcher box oh. I love me I am a mate Adrian and also I. like high quality meat yes but that's. how I like to eat my meat yeah you don't. want cheap meat I don't like good meat. baby yeah so uh butcher box does that. they take the guesswork out of finding.

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today at butcherbox.com bad friends and. use that code bad friends to get a. hundred percent grass-fed chuck roast. and a whole chicken for free in your. first box plus 20 off that's so much. that's butcherbox.com bad friends used. to go to bad friends to get the special. deal. with room you can shop thousands of cars. right from your phone and have your next. ride delivered straight to you you know. I have a new car right where'd you get. your car Bob I got it through vroom you. know because in the summer what happened. was I went to all these hot Lots right. these and you go out to the Burbank. Pasadena right and they're and the.

salesmen are weird. again so I went to a room and it's the. best room is the better way to buy your. next ride you never have to haggle or. negotiate the price of a car so you know. you're getting a good deal well with. room you can shop thousands of cars. right from your phone and have your next. ride delivered straight to you that's. the deal you don't got to go anywhere. you jump on your phone and you get it. sent to your house all right that's my. favorite part there's no haggling no. shadiness all the cars on vroom.com come. with a 90-day limited warranty and a one. year of roadside assistance Nationwide.

giving you peace of mind while you're on. the road you can trade in your old car. if you got one when you buy your new one. or you can even just sell the. cardofroom.com go here take it and when. you sell your card of room you get a. price instantly you can go buy a car. from vroom entirely online so next time. you you need to buy a car just grab your. phone go to vroom.com and check out. thousands of cars. now that we're back to normal show. Tito's out. you're still dating that guy you're. getting paid big bucks to work in the. Dean's office life is good.

what's next for you. you're not coming on the road with us. you're not doing bad friends live I. can't because I know too famous too rich. no I see your follow account. how many followers you have now let me. check. foreign. 110 000. damn you know how many Comics. we know that are legitimate Comics. that'll have thirty thousand I know. twenty thousand yeah well you deserve it. you worked super hard to get to where.

you are and now you were when you're on. campus do you remember wear a mask. um sometimes like in the classroom I do. but outside when you walk around outside. does anybody on campus recognize you. um last Tuesday I was like just walking. around the campus and then like two guys. like just stopped in front of me and. they said wait are you Rudy wow wow and. what'd you say see yeah are they cute. they're fine yeah yeah and then what and. did you have a conversation with them we.

just kind of walked off like a Hollywood. star no I said yeah and I said Hi and. then he was like Oh I thought you were. gonna work at the bookstore because I. work there. he went to the bookstore because you. used to work there I don't know I don't. know but he. he worked there already oh he already. went and then he saw my name on the list. he was like I was so excited but then. you. then come sounds like a stalker yeah. sounds like you stay away from yeah stay. away from that yeah he's a murderer so. that's the only time you've been. recognize on campus. oh interesting.

what. that's wrong it's just she's all grown. up it's sad yeah but she's gone she. moved out she's she's a you know yeah. she got really fat I mean it's just like. everything changed Gateway you've gained. so much you're so much fatter than used. to be yeah yeah when we first saw you. were just a tiny little thing now you're. a [ __ ] whale I mean Brendan Frazier's. got nothing on you yeah yeah well. there's a lot of good foods here bring. up a picture of Brendan Fraser and the. whale and this you look almost exactly.

like this. this is basically you yeah yeah I think. that looks excuse I don't I don't feel. any double chin here I gotta be honest. with you yeah I can't tell the. difference between that and you right. now did you see the movie no but I've. heard it's so good I want to watch it. we're just kidding you're kidding we're. joking around you're [ __ ] weirdo what. an idiot that does look like the you. though you fat piece of [ __ ] that looks. like. he almost died gaining the weight I mean. I know he's wearing Prosthetics as well. but he also gained so much weight for. this role yeah would you ever do that.

yeah I know you would for a24 movie yeah. 3 000 pounds what if they told you the. risk of dying was 50 50. I'd rather die. than what then just could not be in the. movie wow yeah so if they said we'll. give you it's not going to pay that well. I'll do it for free wow if if it's a. great project I'll do it for free you're. willing to die for the project yeah. that's wild I mean is there any director. that you would work for just and go all.

the way like that no I'm saying I would. go all the way but if the risk was that. I was gonna die score Stacy so scorses. he calls you right yeah hey Marty. hey how you doing. uh good Marty oh hey Marty how you doing. I'm wonderful how are you I just want to. answer. when I asked you the first time you know. I saw how you're doing and you you said. and I was like yeah sorry about that I'm. sorry how you doing I'm good how are you. pretty good great yo so um can I say yo. sure I'm Italian it doesn't come. naturally right anyway me patchy dinero.

right Leo doing a movie yeah yeah. it's called The Hunt for Red October 2. it's in the submarine oh wow that sounds. awesome yeah Leo's gonna play Russian. right okay and then. um the Alec Baldwin Park yeah I mean. it's gonna be um Dinero. okay cool yeah is he not available. no he's not well he already did the. first one right right.

I want you in the movie. can you send me a script you would. really say that sorry. you would really say that. uh I mean I want to read did you write. it who wrote it it's me Marty here can I. tell you the part is yeah you gotta gain. a thousand pounds you're playing a. summary oh everyone's inside inside you. is this gay porn no it's not gay porn. Marty they come in through your butthole.

though I kind of like some of this yeah. yeah and then you know and then the US. you know you're a Russian submarine. Bobby Lee is going to play the U.S. submarine no North Korean we change it. to North Korea right yeah when Bobby Lee. was attached yeah North Korea yeah Bobby. is a North Korean submarine I'm sorry. Marty Bobby Lee's attached I'm out. have a good day bye. really yep that's your line if he. attached you before me. I'm out. you know that's what you know honestly.

I think that's how you really feel shut. the [ __ ] up because you're doing so well. right now I'm so proud of you I don't. know you are now why don't we give. Andrew a Santina run while he's doing. real big movies and you know what I mean. one after another house party the one. with the [ __ ] me time you know you're. on this new movie. it was the definition of jealousy is. that would you just pull off yeah I'm. not jealous I'm supportive it says raise. his voice immediately I'm so happy for. you man it's so good it's so exciting it.

looks away often it continues to repeat. the same word over and over man says. stuff like fantastic stuff man yeah yeah. it's right there in the definition no I. would I would gain weight and do a. [ __ ] thing for a roll but it also. would have to it like. the gaining weight thing would be tough. why because I feel like you just would. you rather gain weight or lose weight. like [ __ ] Christian Bale did for the. machine 100 lose weight. I would guess he almost died I know but. at least she ate an apple a day for like.

a year yeah. that's Christian Bale in a movie he. looks good yeah zoom in in a photo. yeah yeah. he lost all that weight for this [ __ ]. movie then he did uh Batman Begins after. that right after he did Batman so he had. to gain like a thousand pounds after. that right how crazy is that it's. [ __ ] nuts it's insane. look at that body though he would like. [ __ ] a Tic Tac yeah you know who has. that body 20 years left. [Laughter].

anymore. Tony gained a little weight he does he. looks a little weird yeah yeah. anyway what an actor fans. they saw you fancy thanks a lot for. bringing the kids into the show man that. was great of you dude we really love it. yeah thank you we love it yeah I know. yeah you did great and what were you for. [ __ ] 30 minutes let's get him fire. from the university. did you really get fired for bringing.

them here did you get in trouble have. you are you gonna get in trouble of. course it got really weird huh it got. really weird in here this whole episode. has been one of the weirdest episodes. we've ever done yeah yeah but like by. and large yeah I feel surreal so weird. yeah yeah weirdly enough parents love it. and then they follow the show the mom. and dad that's their parents. well the parents are our age that's. exactly yeah because they're all 19 and. 22. right and their mom and dads are. [ __ ] 50. yeah so you.

what wait let me hey kids what's your. how old is your dad. [Laughter]. what'd you just say. all right. [ __ ] voice now. he's a sassy [ __ ] younger than you yeah. that you know what that's his new. nickname sassy Sam sassy [ __ ] you sassy. [ __ ] SB Sam B Sam that's your new.

nickname dude because of that [ __ ]. thing how old is your dad Sam. uh 53 53 that's older than us. oh oh that was sassy too that was sassy. too you don't know a joke I was trying. to be funny yeah. [ __ ] [ __ ] dude I love that guy. yeah I love Sam dude permanent picture. of this [ __ ] show I think so I think. we found a real placement for who you. know who. for me no I know I know for the other. one and another one not you.

why are you looking at me. I gotta tell you let's I'm gonna do a. little throwback sentimental stuff real. fast. I remember when you first came on this. show because now there's the probably. one of the last episodes you're gonna be. on the show you're never going to come. back are you I think so pretty rarely. when you first came on this show and. your only goal was to make sure that. Tito Bobby didn't go to a drive-through. or didn't go to CVS yes we won't die. yeah so he wouldn't die that little. moment in time turned into.

one of the greatest. relationships this show could have ever. wished for. and somebody did a little compilation I. guess we want to show you let's let's. see it closer to the mic yeah you have. to get close to the mic so we can hear. you oh buy closer to the mic Jules [ __ ]. get closer to the mic. get closer to the mic get closer to the. mic get closer to the bike get closer to. the mic instead of trying it's Jewels. Jewels see how there's this much space. between get closer to the bike talking. to the mic close to the mic Juliana get.

closer to the [ __ ] mic that was a lot. I don't remember Tito Bobby saying he. yelled at you every episode. have you brought girls over to Bombay no. no question no yes he has no I haven't. yes he has tonight. yeah. to clean up because I need somebody to. clean up. wait so you have someone coming over is. she gonna sleep over yeah wow I've had. already the same girls spend the night.

at the house but they don't like they. just leave at 2 A.M I hear them no they. don't what do you mean yeah some of them. do but this one stays the night. um one time she spent the night she's. got something why it's good when they. leave at 2am. I'm just curious yeah yeah because I. hear them like there's stubs they're do. you hear us no the moans no okay good. because there's nothing I'm Christian. what are you guys moaning about he's. just moaning at each other we watch. movies.

watch out huh. when someone yeah when someone's a it's. a it's always like Murder coming soon. got it are you dating someone seriously. no yes. no I'm not yes you are who me yeah. Andrew. but no not no no I'm not but you know. there's. um yeah I'll be single for a very long. time I think. have you ever cooked for a woman no. never once I can cook what can you cook. spaghetti there it is good yeah you make.

sauce from scratch or you just open a. can of ragoon you want to tell me can I. tell you what I do yeah okay I take that. wooden thing what that's very vague what. that's very vague I know what is it a. cutting board exactly okay all right. yeah I didn't even have to say it well. you already knew what I was saying I did. cutting board got it I go to the store I. buy veggies you buy veggies. but are you bringing The Cutting Board. to the store with you are you doing it.

in the shop I bring it just to see if. the vegetables fit on The Cutting Board. yeah that makes sense yeah so I'll like. lay it down at the you know I mean the. vegetable section right and I'll lay. things down there I go it fits that all. fits yeah yeah that's weird but I'm glad. I brought the cutting board so I bring I. buy onions got it mushrooms got it. garlic. yeah what no no yep yeah. how do you say it it's basil it's not. basil it's basil oh how do you say it.

basil exactly yeah it's basil okay. potato potato. that's potato. I buy that and then what I do and buy. ground beef. why are you loving I love ground beef. yeah but I get the ones that lean. that's sideways yes yeah it just does. this yeah like the packaging it's all on. one side yeah it leans. yeah and because I don't like what's. filled or it's in the center.

full beef is bad yeah lean beef the best. and what I do is um I bring it all I. bring pasta just the dry stuff at the. store you buy dry pasta yeah yeah. good you get the wet one I like it wet. really I like it I like a wet noodle. yeah I dry it out I'm I'm a wet noodle. yeah okay yeah so I bring all that stuff. home and then I um I take the cutting. board because I bring it to the car. because it's you know yeah it's in the.

car yeah yeah I forget in the car always. back up and then I chop each other. right and um so it goes like this. when you chop up the vegetables go there. no yeah yeah you went there no yeah yeah. so you chop it up you're on Ice you chop. it up do you use chopsticks when you. chop it up. stop it so I chop it right and then I. put olive oil in the skillet very smart.

thank you and then I uh I put the garlic. in low simmer and I start simmering the. vegetables man okay right. is that my boring you where's the sauce. I forgot to buy it from the store I. gotta go back you gotta go all the way. back yeah I'm Gonna Leave The Cutting. Board because it has nothing to do I. think I should bring it all right. vegetables on it bring it put Saran wrap. up put no I'm not doing that I'll take.

the color look I already did now you. have to bring it all right you have the. cutting board with vegetables already I. don't know why I would have been full of. vegetables at the store why not exactly. yeah I'm at the [ __ ] pasta aisle here. you are at the pasta aisle all right. what are you buying I don't get Barillo. well you don't like gorilla I just don't. like the name. yeah yeah which one do you like. um I like. um. yeah I don't think it's light blue with. a yellow little label yes.

anyway I get that. I like spaghetti I don't like any other. kind only noodles you like I like the. thin ones. [ __ ] off yeah yeah bow tie [ __ ] off go. [ __ ] yourself [ __ ] off go [ __ ]. gnocchi don't like it stay no key can. stay oh it can yeah okay okay you're. welcome thank you so you got your. spaghetti noodles I bring it back with. the vegetables did you buy the sauce. this time or did we forget again we.

forgot it again yeah it went back and. yeah and I get so I get at this point we. should just go to Olive Garden I get the. Truffle company though truffle that's. the sauce oh right trough yeah trough. right yeah and I get that and then I um. so anyway simmer the um vegetables this. is that garlic all that stuff I drain it. a bit all the excess oil and stuff and. then um I put the meat in and I stir up. the meter and then I drain it again with. the vegetables and the meat and then I. put the sauce in the [ __ ] thing I. cooked that up meanwhile I'm having the.

[ __ ] I'm doing the [ __ ] pasta part. what's going on over there I just put. the pasta on the [ __ ] thing oh no. what I'll just ride on the Fire. it doesn't seem to work it's so crunchy. for some reason she said she liked it. yeah yeah so burnt pasta is your thing. yeah no I put water and I have a timer. 11 minutes right so you know down to the. science yeah and I also taste it just in. case I don't like it to. Al Dente Al Dente you want it soft but.

also I don't like it too soft it's gonna. be perfect for me I have a way of doing. it I I when I when I stick it out I. stick in my mouth that's it how do you. know. I smile. I go. like that do you think like do you think. perfect noodle measurement is in your. blood I think so like you're born with. it I think you were too you're not not. the way you are thank you you're a. noodle king thank you you are my noodle. king so I drained the a pasta I put the.

sauce on I eat it and you serve it to. this scumbag well no I she always eats. the leftovers. and then in the refrigeration yeah. Tupperware so that's the only thing I. can cook spaghetti yeah will you cook it. for this girl. no the girl that's coming over no you. don't want to cook anything for her no. now is it a kind of girl that gets you. to cook for her is that she has to. deserve it. and she's not made it to Bobby cook for. you rank no I've never cooked for. anybody. no one's ever reached that level of. [ __ ] trust I know not even not even.

the k. almost she didn't get there after eight. years I want two fingers in the butthole. so one so one finger is going to get you. yeah order in it makes me calm are you. gonna order in with this girl tonight. you're gonna go out no I would run what. are you ordering for her either Maestro. is a boa. fancy boy you spending that money no no. no what do you cook.

[Laughter]. wrote that reaction right there is the. reaction somebody has when they're about. to kill somebody for the first time yeah. like you're in the mafia you mean you. use your first kill I cook what do you. do. uh what's my favorite meal to cook. what are we doing here I don't know oh. oh what do I cook I cook uh I'm at your. house what are you doing here. hi happy birthday oh is it my [ __ ] oh it.

is hey thanks man yeah yeah yeah cook me. something. oh okay yeah it's your birthday please. sit down yeah yeah I'll tell you I'm in. your living room I got uh I got uh spicy. Italian sausage okay um yeah spicy. Italian sausage it's hot by the way. that's how I like it okay well you're in. my house so chill out okay peel these. potatoes. I have to yeah you should I. you never peeled a potato before you. have one of those mechanisms. your teeth oh you do with your team well. look at those things like the Irish do.

yeah. right peel potatoes cut them into cubes. get some chicken stock I'm cutting salt. pepper throw that in there onions bell. peppers carrots a mirepoix if you will. yeah right yeah throw that thing in. there am I still doing this yeah yeah. one potato. two potatoes oh yeah all right all right. cut it up into fourths.

put the Italian sausage in the pan cook. it how do you like it burn it no but do. how do you like a chop no it's already. caught up it's it's it's it's a ground. it's ground Italian sausage all right. put it in there yeah let it cook okay is. it cooked I don't know yet throw. everything in the pot together right now. hurry up I did is it in there yeah good.

let's go out to eat. [Laughter]. we're going out. anyway all right listen. what a ride it's been. but I will say this. it's great to have Rudy Jules back I'm. sad that we're not going to see you that. much. so do me a favor and in the camera. sign us out thank you for being a bad.

friend. [Music]. laughs. [Music].