Bobby's Replacement | Ep 137 | Bad Friends

hey bad friends I am going to be playing. New Year's Eve and New Year's Eve Eve. shows in Boston Massachusetts December. 30th and 31st go to andrewsantino.com. I'm gonna be playing the wilba theater. I'm so excited to be in Boston you guys. I'm so happy to be playing New Year's. Eve and New Year's Eve Eve on the 30th. and 31st in Boston so go to. andrewsantino.com for tickets. andrewsantino.com for tickets also look. at this we restocked bad friends shirts. look at this some of the highest demand. bad friend shirts that's me and Bobby. talking closely and then this is also.

the bad friends mug faces you guys loved. them uh we ran out of them so now we. restocked them so they should be on the. merch bar down below or it's in the link. the bio will be in the link to go get. those bad friends shirts pick them up. and come see me this New Year's Eve and. eve even Boston Massachusetts. andrewsantino.com. [Music]. [Music]. we're bad friends welcome back to.

splitting up together three of the best. castmates on earth once again it is the. return of the. mole woman oh wait yeah let it play out. Pete that's the way to do it what is. that hey girl is that is that a new girl. I mean New Girl New Girl welcome back to. everyone's favorite podcast splitting up. together featuring Rudy Jules and the. one and only kalilaku. [Music].

sitting in the hot seat today is. you know. my last name is not that's not how you. say it. the racial slur is it really cool how do. you say your last name. so much better that way isn't it. no ah Rudy Rudy wasn't here on time we. were here 15 minutes ago Rudy forgot. that it was bad friend's day she's gonna.

blame fancy B is that true yeah cause I. thought he said Thursday expect your. test your text yeah no I think the. original way you said it check your test. check Test please. check your test and then he text. Ed again yesterday and I thought he'd. change it to 8 P.M Thursday yeah but. it's Wednesday 8 P.M 8 A.M Wednesday you. know what I found a better a better you. in the Philippines really who yeah it's. like you know it looked like you but.

she's way cooler looks like you it talks. like you it walks like you what do you. mean is this a woman that you fall in. love with so you're leaving your wife. for a woman you met in the Philippines I. know who it is. it's your little sister oh is that your. little sister oh Rudy and is she doing. the eat [ __ ] thing yeah I don't think. that's okay how old is she 14. yeah. let's not that's not okay for her to. zoom in on that she looks just like you. that's so wild you guys have the same.

um. what is it the thing you know that. people can point out if it's the eyes of. the mouth or the nose it's nose mouth. it's right here it's just a little nose. mouth this little part right here is the. most alike do the do the [ __ ] eat thing. with your look at me yeah that's your. little sister. he's in a pod she's 14 years old so. fancy yeah she's smarter than Jules is. she really yeah she's a genius is she. really she taught herself Japanese over.

the pandemic she's like fluent in. Japanese now she's just she's one of. those girls that is just so switched on. she talks about her gay Awakening in. like oh really just like like matter of. fact she gay she's she they she's well. she hasn't determined her pronouns yet. but she says that she is she's talked. about her gay Awakening wow pull this. closer I can't hear you that way. um am I Rudy today you are yeah get. closer to the mic God man you brown.

people it's hard to control. wait so she has a gay Awakening she. doesn't know if she's a she she's not a. she doesn't know her pronouns that's. what it is yeah I don't she hasn't. figured that out yeah what are your. pronouns. she her. what are yours. everybody sees me goes ugh. uh uh the big cheese the big Cheeto I. don't but I'm gonna call the imma call. to him I'm a call to him but I refuse to.

like when people put it in their emails. or any of that stuff that drives me nuts. I do that in college I know because. you're in a liberal [ __ ] College. college is making people do stuff like. that now right yeah you got to say do. you when you introduce yourself to the. class you have to say your pronouns and. even on Zoom you have to put it on your. name yeah but if you don't put it who. cares no but it's just they say it like. when the teacher says if you want just. put it it's better.

oh so it's just a suggestion it's not a. requirement yeah that's true I mean the. world is look there's a woman running. for Orange County Congress names just to. bring up a picture of Michelle Steele I. don't know if you know this woman the. one thing she hates the most what do you. think it is that Michelle still the. Korean. um immigrant running for Orange County. Congress what do you think Michelle. still hates the most. let me think give you both one guess. uh Koreans oh no she loves Koreans what. do you think she hates.

Filipino China she hates China oh yeah. she did a whole commercial on how much. she doesn't like China it's very she's. like we must stop China I always thought. I wanted a Chinese husband did you. really yeah because like for the Moon. my God. shoot for the Moon. a Chinese husband why. um because I have a lot of like Korean. friends that are female yeah and um.

watch this oh [ __ ] did nobody tell you. nobody told you you have lipstick on. your teeth I couldn't see you [ __ ]. Jules even if you saw it you wouldn't. tell me dude that's the most [ __ ] up. [ __ ] he's [ __ ] up you know you would. you know you saw lipstick on her teeth I. didn't see you're a liar you're a bad. girl also Jules like knowing that I'm. single and I need the extra help you're. not gonna tell me I will tell you if. there's boogers or anything what was. there what was just going on there you. made the decision to not tell her. I didn't see and she was already talking.

so I just you're a little [ __ ]. scumbag pal just because you're in a. relationship. she's single let her [ __ ] catch and. you're out there locked up so you want. you don't want other people to prosper. is that what it is no but I thought I. had monkey pox she really did think she. had it from your boyfriend. yeah. okay I was good. in my body and I told atikulaya's sister. and she said go to urgent care now yeah.

well if I had the bumps didn't look like. postulate pustular that's the word. question. it didn't look like [ __ ] I would have. probably just say said like hey like. look at the dogs they're all itching. probably fleas right you probably just. had fleas postular is a word by the way. is it this type of uh psoriasis cause. reddish scaly pus-filled bumps so you. have psoriasis. they were not pustular oh give me nope. give me uh non-pustular red bumps let's.

see what you could have had because. Google's gonna be better than whatever. doctors have to say what the [ __ ] do. they know. uh oh 25 causes so we could be any acne. was it no cold sore was it herpes herpes. oh it is a new boyfriend it wasn't on my. lips corns and calluses no skin tags no. which is that's andreas's nickname a. nodule no by the way go back up how do. you even explain a [ __ ] nodule if.

someone's like what is it you're like it. looks it's like I burned myself with a. lighter and you're like well how did you. get it like I have absolutely no [ __ ]. idea if that appears on your skin don't. you think you're dying yeah absolutely. I'm thinking I'm dying if I have a. little it looks like there's a mole. underneath my skin I think I'm dying it. it just looks like a blister. yeah but it looks like a burn blade but. if it appeared without any sort of. burning wouldn't you panic if that's. lumped here's the deal the proximity of. a weird skin thing to your genitalia.

means everything if it's on your arm. don't care have you never had an ingrown. like a giant ingrown close to your dick. no oh God so girls get it all the time. because we we have to wax and shave and. it's just the worst so do you have a. panic moment as soon as you look down. and you see that you think okay well now. I've got now I've got the herbs yes all. the time I think that. I I've never had an ingrown hair. near the only thing I talked about this. today with my buddy Corey I had one STD.

in college I had molluscum do you know. what that is look it up it's like a skin. rash but I had full-on panic attack do a. image it's sexually transmitted it's a. skin molluscum uh skin rash it's like. that is exactly right this is what you. had on your arm. you little you little dirty [ __ ]. this was on my pelvis so that like I. said the proximity of this to your penis. look at what that looks like what do you. think that is it looks a little like. syphilitic oh no that actually looks. kind of like herpes herpes that's.

exactly right so it was on just my. pelvis wasn't on my wasn't on my Papito. it wasn't on my Pepito it was just on. the right it was on the runway and I. gotta tell you [ __ ] I spiraled for. like three days and I was bawling I was. crying and I was like I and the girl. that I had had sex with I had used a. condom use protection and I thought. how could this happen I used a condom it. was on my pelvis and I thought what if. it starts to move its way down to my. wiener is it an actual sexually. transmitted disease or it's just a skin. the skin thing so my doctor said after I.

finally got the I was scared to go in. because I was scared to hear the truth. so I finally went in and he was like. what that's he gave me like a cream and. a pill and it was gone and like I'm not. kidding like the same day and he was. like it's a it's a skin rash it's kind. of like you know like jock itch and all. that stuff and like athlete's foot and. all these things he's like it's a skin. fungus but it's typically transmitted. it's actually because it gets around. this area a lot you know what's so. [ __ ] up this is so mean to say but she. looked like someone that would give me.

molluscum if you never even knew what it. was if someone goes that girl gives. Santino molluscum he'd go oh yeah can I. guess what she looked like go please go. for it did she look like a smashly dark. hair. I think her name was Ashley. really I swear to God. I swear to God in my life she has the. dimples on her lower back you better. believe it does she have a tattoo in. between them yeah you better believe it. that's the thing that her generation. will never have to experience is like. [ __ ] stamps and all that they're coming. back though are they oh yeah 100 girls.

are getting [ __ ] stamps again wow. because what because you got the the. thing you've stolen from our generation. you guys are wearing really really baggy. jeans that's our that was that was our. childhood really baggy jeans and also. you're stealing brands from our. generation which is [ __ ] insane to me. like stucy's the biggest it's ever been. it's huge stussy's huge dude and do you. know what this is no yeah it's back now. young people like it. you've never seen this when I was a kid. it was dope. it's now it's cool it's like cool again.

it's just so funny you guys are stealing. all of our [ __ ] well I hope you steal. all of our dumb [ __ ] too like lower back. tattoos I hope you guys get a little bit. of that sauce it's. you better not get a [ __ ] lower back. tattoo don't do it Jules also though. they steal some elements of it like the. low-rise jeans they're back but they. don't know how low we went our zippers. were this short tiny little Zips in the. late 90s can I say that on the show I. love them tiny little Zips both Asian we. accept tiny little zippers.

but we did you had low rise your p and. they were the cool thing was back back. in the day to have your pants so low. that women would sometimes wear like men. boxers or like uh boxer brief underwear. and then they would rise above them and. you could see both of them that [ __ ] was. hot on Tick Tock they have the song. thing that's a whale tail that's my it's. a whale tail yeah that's thievery yeah. you guys are stealing you know what the. [ __ ] up thing is about fashion you'll. see some [ __ ] and immediately I'm like. yeah this is just someone took a took a. shot you just have to take a shot and.

look weird you saw the tape girls did. you see the the tape girls do the black. tape girls runway models wearing only. black tape this is a this guy [ __ ]. has tricked the world. this is insane he went to I don't even. know it was like yeah it was Miami these. women are literally wearing electrical. tape. over their entire [ __ ] body and this. like blew up in the scene people are. upset I know this girl by the way I. personally know this person she's worked. with a friend of ours uh she's a model.

out here in LA and she went down there. to do this campaign she's so hot her. name's zida. yeah this would leave me a interesting. trail of eczema look at that contact. dermatitis big time you wanna you'd want. to talk about ingrown hairs. but here's the thing zoom in a little. bit how do you get that off your titties. that doesn't hurt your nipples when. you're ripping tape off your tits well. girls are used to suffering though for. the sake of fashion that is something. that we just kind of um have done our.

whole lives because a thong is not. comfortable and also the Beastie. yeasties you get anytime I see a girl. with on with a thong on I'm like oh. she's rolling the dice yeah you know a. Beastie sees it right around the corner. just rumbling down there oh my God and. like it doesn't catch the discharge so. you know it's just oozing from the side. Drip Drop we should invent something to. catch it though like okay I'm okay with. the song Part being really thin but it's.

got to have a bigger [ __ ] catcher or. the juice catcher yeah a pjc a [ __ ]. juice catcher. just a little cup. you know like the I learned about the um. I learned about the uh menstrual cups. menstrual cups wow I learned about this. this is I copping I thought was. something completely different. Michael Phelps gets the okay okay that's. an Olympic thing have you ever cupped. have you ever done a menstrual cup oh. I've done both and then.

I did old school cupping yeah I've done. cupping on the back yeah yeah. um and then Jules tried to teach me how. to use a menstrual cupping. wow and I couldn't figure out how to get. it out so I was in the cold hard floor. of my bathroom having to like birth it. out you had to why because it was so it. was just so attached I had to push it. out like it was a baby I something. happened and I'm totally scarred by it. but all these girls they just do it so. efficiently and I I'm just not wanted so. you only be cupping wow it's so much.

better for you tampons are like toxic I. know I read this whole thing about. tampons with the amount of bleach that's. in there it's like really bad for you. anyway and then the women that get if it. you know if they stay in too long you. get uh. toxic shock syndrome and you can die. from it which I heard years ago when I. was a kid I think like my mom to my. sister or something that it was like you. can't do that all night you can't leave. a tampon in all night and then as I got. older then you read all this other stuff. that they're like it's dyed cotton it's.

yeah so it's like bleach cotton sitting. inside of your body all day so I get the. cup dog you be cupping it's so much. easier but you have to like force. yeah does it make a suck noise yeah then. you have to pull it to make it tight so. it won't go out right yeah. yeah I've just opted to free bleed. you'd be free blading if I'm home and I. have nowhere to be I've I freely tight. and the dogs love it that's too much.

wait a minute we're there already. because the dogs can smell it and they. love it God I really want to show you a. really bad video of my dog just going. ham on my show me free bleed panty so. wait a minute they eat the panties they. like live in it oh no show me the video. you know what's interesting about my dog. is uh she's a little she's a girl and. when I come home she always sniffs she. always goes to my crotch she wants to be. up on my left up on my legs to bury her.

head in my crotch never does that to my. wife ever never does that to her she. always wants to be down by her legs but. when I come home she puts her head by my. crotch and even when she's done sniffing. she'll turn her ear to it like she's. listening. yeah a little [ __ ] a cockshell yeah. [Laughter]. you can hear all the [ __ ] I'm not. getting in the cockshell. far far away. she will though she'll put her head. right and she'll rest her head. underneath my balls and it's so funny. because when she sleeps when she jumps.

in the bed with us oh this is what I do. want to know when she sleeps in the bed. with us. I think when she's on her period the dog. will come to my side of the bed your dog. doesn't like your wife's panties no. no does not in fact in fact by the way. you know how everybody's doggy there's. like panties or socks or underwear or. the dogs always have like a thing some. dogs traditionally have shoes and all. that stuff none of these things except. for dirty shorts dirty my running shorts.

if I leave them in the other room yeah. loves because I think it's [ __ ] and. ball sweat and she really likes [ __ ]. and ball sweat this is just a pervert. my dog that way pal no but she is she. likes [ __ ] and ball sweat I think. that that she likes that smell that like. maybe she wants. her dick. clip it. flip it for the internet. [Laughter]. she but it is funny she does not she's.

not a penny dog both of your dogs are. panty dogs all of the dogs but it's not. just my panty it's everyone's panty like. I've had people over and have lost three. or four underwear Julio Julio is a big. Clipper but they take turns so like. usually Julio will go first and when. he's done then Gobi will kind of tag him. you know tag herself in here I'm sending. it to you fancy wow the video. it's amazing I'm I'm so over your knee. yeah. it's so funny.

after all after how many years two years. I told her to pull the mic closer you. both of the Filipinos in this [ __ ]. room by the way thanks for the invite to. the Philippines fancy. well it was such a wonderful trip you. you missed like you know he he was a ray. of sunshine. it is so funny because we texted we. texted while he was there because we. were trying to organize all this [ __ ]. and uh I can tell fancy got a little. dose a little dose of what there was one. point where I was just so proud of fancy.

for sticking it to Bobby and saying you. know what. you're going to need more discipline. than this. did you go for it huh you told him what. the [ __ ] is up yeah he said he was going. to stretch me. after that you want me to stretch you. out. what an idiot by the way he's such a. [ __ ] liar the guy told me we were. texting for a second a second and he. said uh he has food poisoning did he. tell you this lie did he get food. poisoning there. [ __ ] liar I knew he didn't get. [ __ ] food but no you know I I saw.

Imodium at home so I think it's true it. was just had bubble guts not food. poisoning um because you know food. poisoning lasts food poisoning lasts he. said that on the plane he had to get up. every two minutes but you know. um he does have a very sensitive stomach. softy tummy yeah am I crazy or is this. an exceptionally hard to open let a man. do it. but I just realized that Bobby is like a.

writer who doesn't like to write you. know he. a right a writer who doesn't like to. write he has like yeah he hates the. process of making things yeah but he. likes to have them made yes all right. let's let's check out this video. oh my God so that was a pair of panties. with blood on him and you just work out. sweat workouts oh my God rolling in it. rolling in it. that's insane wait for it oh my God.

look he's like seizing. ah [ __ ] oh pushing oh my gosh but you. know like every man look what he does at. the end. when he's done when he's gotten what he. needs when he comes look what he gets. when he needs after he's had everything. he's ever gotten. he's toiled around. he's ripping it apart a little bit oh. yeah I have so many holes on all my. underwear. but I just can't you know they like it. so why would I this is like a.

post-workout on oh when he's done he. just shakes it off I gotta get out of. here and then the second one comes in. right after a tag team yeah tag team. feels like that one's a good one. that's insane they like it so much. that's so crazy is this super common and. I just don't know golden oh look he's. taking it she's a little bit more. delicate about it she just likes to chew. that's the cuddle Just A Lover see. that's a lover. yeah I just want to nibble on your. little dirty panties imagine that's.

something if they asked you they're like. could I nibble on your dirty panties and. your other dog is like Bears give up. give me the [ __ ] penis give them to. me now you should sell your [ __ ]. panties to dog owners you know how much. money you would make doing that that's. your new only fans only dogs. only dogs with kalila you sell your used. panties I mean can you imagine the. amount of money these people that are. selling their used [ __ ] online I saw a. girl that sells just her [ __ ] dirty. socks nothing else no nudity no none of. that [ __ ] she was making 20 grand a.

month does she have 20 grand a month. name because that girl the fart girl the. fart in a jar girl she was already on 90. Day Fiance no yeah she was famous this. girl is a right this girl had been. established as something else on the. internet before I see but even still who. the [ __ ] is buying you socks what are. you doing with them oh well never mind. I for a second I was like what am I. talking about I wonder what they look. for like is this sound because I don't. I've never had smelly feet in my life. never never okay you work out all day. long at the end of a long day and my.

feet have never and my feet sweat a lot. they have never smelled whatever do you. have smelly feet only when I wear my. socks for a week. oh well that makes perfect [ __ ] sense. yeah you wear the same pair of socks for. one whole week do you need some money. wait why would you do that you don't. want to change it I don't want to do. laundry. chip station hey you guys the best time. to prepare for growth uh is before the. opportunity arrives especially for.

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that's two months free visit. shipstation.com click on the microphone. at the top and type in code bad friends. now a word from our sponsor betterhelp. Bobby and I have talked about better. help on the show many times we're both. big big pushers of mental health help. and mental health awareness I do believe. that your brain uh can stay in problem. solving mode when faced with a challenge. in life it's tough to like train it to. do that but when you learn to find your. own Solutions there's no better feeling. and a therapist can help you become a. better Problem Solver making it easier. to accomplish your goals no matter how. big or small they are talking to someone.

helps I don't care what level you're at. of finding out about yourself but I got. to tell you speaking with someone. definitely helps clear your mind and. help you move forward in life to get. through stuff or just to keep the train. moving along if you're thinking about. giving therapy a try better help is a. great option it's convenient accessible. affordable and it's entirely done on the. internet wherever you are you can do it. you can get matched with a therapist. after filling out a brief survey and. switch to therapist any time you want. when you want to be a better Problem. Solver therapy can get you there visit. betterhelp.com bad friends today get 10.

off your first month that's better. help.com bad friends. can I tell you something. I. just buy it this is new those are new. socks. dude I like new socks so much when I'm. traveling and on tour. I will bring three pairs of socks for. one day one for the plane one for like. when I go to work out and then one for. when I go to the show I have to change. stock you don't like the feeling of new. socks I don't really care okay but when.

you take them off there for a long day. they don't they're not like yucky and no. no. smell your feet right now it. is yeah but just smell your raw foot. what are we talking nothing nothing. maybe maybe filipino's feet don't stink. yeah I don't think so white people's. feet stink yeah Bobby sweets think. really bad yeah he's got that kind of. white guy in him a little bit sand. that's a San Diego Highway feed that's. how that is.

whose feet do you think stink the most. out of the crew out of you guys who do. you think for real out of the whole crew. I can George see I my instinct is George. but I but I gotta tell you something. something says Carlos might have some. stanky ass feet oh interesting I should. know this I'm I am his lover after all. well you guys yeah I was just gonna say. this trist that's been going on between. you guys is just look I approve. just because you know everybody loves a. good mixed baby so at least he's not a. normal maybe Mexico.

yeah because he's not or Philly Max. cuter Philly Max you gotta name him. Philly Max you know it took this long to. realize that Will and Jada name their. kids. Jaden and Willow. after them the internet just did a whole. thing on it and I literally did the same. thing you just did I was like I guess I. never thought about that at all. he's making a comeback by the way Will. Smith is do you see what he's doing you. see the movie he's doing holy [ __ ] is. this a way for him to come back and not.

have anything be said about him at all. things called emancipation All Is. Forgiven. I don't give a [ __ ] if you hit Chris. Rock I gotta tell you that's amazing I'd. love to be a part of something like this. but I just know. that they're just gonna cast me as that. guy. you know what I mean I say I want to be. a part of a movie I'm going to be the. crazy racist white guy it's like you're. not belong here boy right there my. grandma was a redhead. was she really son of a [ __ ]. you got any red blood in you baby no no.

I know I can tell that's a great jungle. out there but there's no Ginger. um show the video to kalila I want to. show I want her to see this this is this. is very funny so so let me give some. preface to this this is a local news. station you know local news is always. great fodder you know what I mean it's. always good fodder. um not local here this is Texas sorry. but uh it's Halloween time almost and. boy oh boy. you know the goblins and ghouls are out.

and this lady is both of those things. [Laughter]. go ahead a worst case scenario is that. you unleash hell on your kids and in. your home Jamie Gooch is a mother of. three and the owner of Gooch Family Farm. Troy I love everything to do with house. and home I believe everything starts. here it Grieves me the thought of. exposing our kids to Darkness the whole. movie is based on which is harvesting.

children for blood sacrifice. [Laughter]. these people vote these people live. and. you've got to get I hope the Big Stone. comes soon you've got to give her a. break it must not be a KitKat is that. what you're talking about it can't have. been easy growing up with a last name. Gooch yeah that's true. [ __ ] Gooch Gucci cooch there's.

something that I realized this woman is. Evil by the way. sure and you I can tell you. um a clear-cut sign is that she rarely. blinks yes when people when people don't. blink I'm like how how like what what. demonic force is allowing your eyes to. stay open when the wind is blowing go. back and let's just go from the. beginning turn off the volume let's just. see how many times if she blinks she's a. redhead yeah no she's not this right. right here holding tight. pause it on the fam.

love gotta love the gooches. how Gooch to the left is gonna be a. cutie I think yeah Aaron Carter type yes. yeah he might but I gotta tell you. something. daddy gooch. this is what happened look take this the. wrong way if you want to America this is. what happens when. you stay at home and you got nothing. going on. and you're focusing too much on stuff. that doesn't mean anything because no. offense I don't think she does anything. all day she may have a job I highly.

[ __ ] doubt it because she said the. house and home is her only focus and you. got to know she spent too much time and. after the house is cleaned and the kids. are fed and they're off to school and. papa Gooch is off selling in [ __ ]. insurance. he's slinging that [ __ ] life. insurance she's at home she's cooked. everything she's cleaned everything. she's sad the wine is gone and now she's. focusing on what's infiltrating house. and home Hocus Pocus too. the evils of Disney Plus.

good for her dude you know these people. also hated Moana because you know oh. well we know. that tracks I look I don't think. princess I think princesses can be brown. I'm just saying I don't think they are. brown that's what I mean that what I. meant was like the same argument about. [ __ ] Little Mermaid being black I'm. the biggest Little Mermaid fan like I. know not just all the songs I know every. word from beginning to end do you really. I can recite the whole thing I've got. who's it and what's up.

thingama Bobs I got 20 20. but who cares. I want more what a good movie by the way. also a redhead. right and by the way keep her red. that's why I'm against The Black Mermaid. keeper red but she does have red hair. keep her white and red. so stupid we should be more concerned. with them drawing penises in the castles. that they used to do remember that in. the priest getting a boner yeah do you. know about this.

do the penis castle for The Little. Mermaid cover this is like one of the. most classic things on planet Earth. the original animators drew a penis. in the original artwork of the castle. look at that [ __ ] right they do like. subliminal stuff right yeah the sex the. owner do the priest gets a boner show. that image in the middle of them getting. married on the boat the priest is. [ __ ] rock hard because a little boy I. think walks by in front of him moment. before. foreign. so there they are getting married on the. boat right they're trying to stall the.

wedding right. who is the sun's going down. before the sun sets on the third day. that's right. oh there it was and look at the priest's. legs when you look here you see it. it's very subtle. hold on let it play out because I bet. they'll show there it is oh my God. that's disgusting why would they make. him have a boner but I get it she does.

look hot there. little priests are horny yeah they don't. get the [ __ ] these guys don't get the. [ __ ] unless it's somebody's kids. bad people priests not all of them just. almost all of them. they had a campaign not all priests that. just did not do well. think about Kanye's White lives matter. shirt Jules what do you think did you. see it. I saw some a bit of clip on Tick Tock. because you're anti-whites we've talked. about it on the show you know this right.

she hates whites and we love that that. we are pro your hate for whites. and what do you feel about this now do. you hate Kanye I think. yeah yeah you do. I think really liked what um Charlemagne. said about it it was super it was sure. what Charlemagne said was actually. extremely. um. like extremely well set it was like. everything he said I was like that's a. good point that's a good point that like. everything he said beat by beat was. really really good because I think that.

you know he Cycles in and out of his. Seasons Kanye does but there's you know. several times like some Seasons he. really does seek white validation 100 he. that's why he plays this game that's. Candace [ __ ] Owens you know who that. is right she's a republican political. pundit but what I find interesting is. that you know how he made a big fuss. about Adidas and all of these Brands. allegedly sort of like stealing his work. and profiting but there is a small.

um designer who apparently he stole all. of like the creative stuff from who's. not getting a lot of the credit didn't. they sue him too or went away I mean. something happened where like he got. into a or he or he or they um settled. out of court or something like that for. stealing some of the designs here's the. biggest problem. think about the little Asian kid that. made that shirt that's what I'm more. concerned about these white lives matter. shirt they're being made by little tiny. Jewels little Rudies your little sister.

your little. your little mouth V sister what's her. name Isa Issa right that's really sad is. that Jules is just now getting into. older Kanye albums oh it's so good yes. it is so good it almost makes up for all. this kind of con this stuff it's just. like when you see why lives matter I go. what are you doing this guy's an idiot. then you you know you go back and listen. to College Dropout and you're like you. better believe it's [ __ ] it's worth. all that stuff. college or what album do you like the. most. I think College Dropout yeah it's so.

[ __ ] good there's a serial killer. Stockton. right now yeah yeah are you serious I. didn't think serial killers were a thing. anymore Stockton serial killer. everything we know and don't know so far. how many people has a guy killed six. whoa six is a lot. who was killed 35 year old Paul. Alexander Yao 43 year old Salvador. Williams at least he's being diverse in. his murder 21 year old Jonathan. Hernandez Rodriguez. oh there is a theme yeah there is Juan.

Cruz and her Lorenzo Lopez and God bless. the dead and God Rest the dead sorry. about that that's disgusting. so this guy. the 46 year old black woman is the only. known survivor of the shooting oh he's. shooting people that's not a serial. killer that's insane yeah I feel like. that's not a very clever way to yeah a. gun is a cop-out by the way do you see. all the [ __ ] heat that that uh uh. whatchamacallit's getting from the lgbtq. community. um Dahmer. they're they're pissed because it was in.

Netflix's subcategory as lgbtq oh [ __ ]. yeah and they got [ __ ] livid about it. not crime and they were like why are you. sexualizing this guy homophobic. hypocrisy and differing reactions to. yeah Netflix uh resurrects Dom or. triggering criticism by the way have you. guys seen it I haven't yet it's [ __ ]. awesome it's this kid Evan Peters. give whatever he wants give him all of. it what he was Manson. right he did Manson wait did he do.

Manson and um American Horror Story uh. oh right isn't that what he did yeah I'm. almost positive this guy's [ __ ] gr. dude he's awesome yeah I love him and. look at how ambiguous he looks he looks. like he could be everybody and nobody he. looks like a little bit like a Jesse uh. Eisenberg a little bit there there he. looks like a guy played high school. basketball with. and the bottom one he looks like the guy. and there he looks like a sexy sexy. serial killer they did buff him up too. when he takes his shirt off do Evan. Peter's shirtless Dahmer but Dahmer was.

not buff I thought it was kind of. scrawny no he was actually kind of a. good sized guy because that's why he was. able to hold down all these other. victims. look at him up there go yeah no that's. not it that's not it that's not it go to. one of the frames up top from Dahmer. look at that hey oh Rudy see he's hot. yeah yeah. yeah this is the guy on the left is a. guy that was jogging that's not him. that's not him. there you go there he is.

you know what I mean I hate to say it. do you hate this hand though. I'd let him kill me stop it that's awful. I mean we're more his type than you. because I think he liked um Southeast. Asians. that's not true black men mostly black. men oh but definitely like um but I. guess you're closer to a black man than. me yeah of course you kind of look like. a black guy. well know my mom like Filipinos right. like in the mountainous regions before. Spanish colonization we called them.

before his people don't shake your. [ __ ] head at what your people did you. scumbag. for Education before whoa this guy's a. bad person turns out. before we enslave your people and gave. you books is that what you tried to say. you pig I was so proud to tell him when. we got to the Philippines I'm like do. you know that this is where Magellan. died. where he was slaughtered yeah scumbag. how did they kill him I hope they killed. him slow oh it was like this so I'll.

tell you exactly how they killed. Magellan so it was actually in the water. so the Spanish Fleet would come in yeah. and they would try to you know walk on. very shallow water to get to the land. and so these men would hold their. breaths underwater and when the men. would try to walk on the water they. would like emerge from the water and. just so dope that's so [ __ ] dope. Magellan you got gas and my little. breath-holding Filipino little like.

Lapu-Lapu was like four foot five. he had to jump up grab him and then. throw his throw right yeah can you. imagine he's like. trying to get this little bit [ __ ]. little tiny Filipino off his back what. does a Filipino little person look like. that's got to be almost non-existent. like an LP Filipino. um no we have a lot an lpp yeah it's. just you down with lpp yeah you know me. um yeah just like a regular little. person no they got to be shorter there's.

no chance they're not smaller look at. how tiny most of your people are oh oh. my God it's like a collector's item it's. like a wedding cake topper. that's so cute that's like one of my. bobble head guys that's like what you. get at a baseball game it's little. person Filipino collectors night I you. know what I hate to say this or brag. about my country but we have way cuter. Little People your little people are. very cute zoom in on these two these two. lovable items by the way and this is. back when you're talking about this a.

time period you can tell from how old. this is. this is back when people in general. weren't that good looking you know it's. like you go back in time. there's way more hotter people now than. there's ever been and there will be. exponentially As Time grows you go back. in the books almost nobody was good. looking like what what year is that say. on there. I think it's because there were 18 what. 1940 19 foot go Okay Google Google. photos right now of like average family. in 1914 and look at how [ __ ] ugly.

these people are gonna be you just go. with Google image let's see what the. average family in 1914. look at the [ __ ] look at how wretched. these people are. horrific look at that little girl down. on the right. look at how ugly that kid is I'd leave. that outside. not bringing that in wait a second this. is what the average people look like. horrific people but don't you think it's. because of like vitamin deficiencies and. all right now you're making fun of. whites I understand I know what you're. doing no it's also because we just.

didn't know how to care for ourselves at. all at all. look at that let's just see you you ate. till you died you ate and drank whatever. you could but I mean in some cultures. like you know more meat really was the. beauty standard right the fatter you. were the better you were yeah look at. all these look look at my look at the. mama by the way she's 19 that mother. that's what a 19 year old woman looked. like in 1914. where do farts go when you hold them in.

um because I held one in today and I'm. not kidding my eyes hurt yeah well I. used to do that a lot when I was working. at Abercrombie folding clothes. um I would squat down and I don't know. why I like the image of you folding. t-shirts just like. just holding in a fart like the [ __ ] out. of here get the [ __ ] out here I'm. following your shirt well I'm not a crop. duster that's just not my vibe really no. like I don't like to ruin people's days. like that so I would it would bubble up.

to my kidneys and I would have extreme. flank pain and I could barely walk home. because I had to walk home after work. and I remember just like always just. being in pure suffering when I'd hold. him in so they go somewhere probably out. your eyeballs at some point because it. hurt the back of my eyes hurt I held one. in so deep and it just hurt my it just. it just was so uncomfortable when you. block a fire from escaping some of the. gas can pass through your gut and be. reabsorbed into your bloodstream you got. fart blood from there it could end up. being exhaled through your lungs coming.

out of your mouth via exhaling so you. can actually burp a fart is that why bad. breath happens oh. that's exactly what it is you've been. burping a lot of farts in this room. sometimes. I always I always hold my fart in school. that's why look problems babe you gotta. let it out yeah or else it's gonna come. out your mouth but it's gonna be smelly. I know but would rather have a smelly a. burp mouth or be in such excruciating. pain that you're probably hurting your. insides. my mouth okay. [Laughter].

see what I mean I can't believe you can. get a fart you can fart out of your. mouth. I'll tell you someone farting right no. oh that was such a polite one that's. mostly almost is like so more. unattractive than a yeah it was too cute. well I'm I held it I just squeezed I. squeezed my farts uh make the the. onomatopoeia of like a town in the. Philippines. [Laughter].

isn't that sound like a town from where. you're from yeah. [Laughter]. my farts always have a name of a town. from the Philippines. doordash hey you got back to back. meetings errands to run and shorts to. take care of what's the secret to. clearing your to-do list a Little Help. from doordash we've talked about. doordash so much on this show Bobby uses. it I use it Bobby loves to use it when. he's out of Los Angeles because he gets. freaked out and he doesn't want to go to. a restaurant and he doesn't know what to. do where to go so he does doordash. whether it's last minute school supplies.

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what you're using and for a limited time. our listeners can get 25 off their first. order of 15 or more when you download. the doordash app and enter the code bad. friends 2022 that's 25 off up to a 10. value of your first order when you. download the doordash app in the app. store and enter the code bad friends. 2022 don't forget that's code bad. friends 2022 that's code bad friends. 2022 for 25 of your first order of the. doordash subject to change terms apply. so when Andreas got these wigs he was he. was like this is for the thumbnail.

okay. you have your hair net. I gotta pack the hair net right so I. work in a cafeteria honestly you you. look like uh you still look like a woman. hey look is that a woman's hair that you. guys bought is that a chick wig why that. why the hair net why is he wearing a. hairnet oh take that off you don't need. to wear a hair net why I'm hairy all. right you're hairy I get it it's my. dad's middle name. look at what you've isn't that wild oh.

my God what is this it doesn't really it. look it looks I look like a Henrietta. yes oh my God I do look like Henry this. looks like you look like a woman from a. from like the 50s like the housewife. from the 50s this is like an extra like. a house like a uh pretty little boxes on. the hilltop okay all right here we go. all right a long silence. you realize of course that we can never. be friends what do you mean okay we'll. do it again sorry.

let's do it again. you realize of course that we can never. be friends what do you mean. what I'm saying and this is not a come. on in any way shape or form is that men. and women can't be friends the sex part. always gets in the way that's not true I. have a number of men friends and there's. no sex involved no you don't yes I do no. you don't yes I do. you only think you do you're saying I'm. having sex with those men without my. knowledge I no I'm saying they all want.

to have sex with you they do not they do. too they do not do too how do you know. because no man can be friends with a. woman he finds attractive he always. wants to have sex with her you're saying. a man can be friends with a woman he. finds unattractive no you pretty much. want to have sex with them too what if. they don't want to have sex with you it. doesn't matter the sex thing is already. out there so the Friendship is. ultimately doomed and that's the end of. the story well. I guess we're not going to be friends. then I guess not it's too bad. you're the only person I knew in New. York.

what do we what do we think about that. there can. there can't friendships I'm a big fan of. platonic friendships of course well. we're friends I know but we've had sex. wait I'm I really do not want to believe. this but there are people who really. think that that's it's an impossibility. to. be attractive and and have male friends. that don't want to [ __ ] it's probably. easier to be friends with men and women. if you're on a if you are not attracted.

to each other it's much easier. one of some of my best friends are men. that are good looking. um yeah decent looking do you find them. attractive no but I'm starting to think. if like I wonder sometimes if I just. like said hey would you like what they. would say they'd say yes. I I think we should and would they will. and they will say yes. but I know that okay so if you don't. want to believe it don't ask because.

they're going to say yes. yeah that would ruin a friendship. they're gonna be like uh if you want to. the problem with men is men men may find. a platonic relationship with someone. that they that know is attractive but. you know they just kind of sectioned it. off but the moment that the woman's like. I think I would like to have sex with. you a man is like absolutely it's like. in our [ __ ] DNA to be like yeah [ __ ]. I've got the [ __ ] a thing that's great. should we test out this Theory should I. call a friend I think so. I think maybe.

is it a friend that you're okay to lose. I don't know maybe okay if it doesn't. work out the phone call doesn't work out. that's fine. I'm excited it's a friend Jules Jules. we have friends. does it look funnier in this wig when I. do stuff like that ready. get closer to the mic Jules. all right let's hear this I can't do it. yeah yeah I I just realized that Sunni. was causing no no I can't do that as you.

were about to do it I was like this is. going to be insane but I do want I kind. of want to see I can't do it you can't. what you should do for your own home. test take home homework. text him and go have you thought about. [ __ ] me just like that. you know what however you guys usually. communicate but then get to the point of. being like you gotta be honest tell me. if you've thought about [ __ ] me. because I want to see if that because. that will be the gauge if he says. um. I mean.

no but why then he wants to [ __ ] you. but if he says no right away if it's no. right away yeah it's probably he. probably is like no but if he says. anything. well anything like that yeah he wants to. [ __ ] yeah okay that's good to know you. don't have any guy friends because. you're with you're with a boyfriend now. yeah how's that going fine she's gonna. downplay it so much because I know her. she's in love huh. she accidentally.

say it shut up you shut your mouth. because she's always like you know she. always tries to play you know when. you're young you try to play it cool you. know yeah yeah anyone how in love you. are but she accidentally texted me. instead of her boyfriend oh my God what. did it say and I'm like Jewel what did. it say it was like with a lot of AIDS in. it. shut up that's the first part just the. first part even the first part it was. like babe with like 18 A's put it up put.

it up on the screen I'm kidding relax. put it up on the screen relax so you. said babe and then what did you say you. said otherwise we're gonna say it I. forgot. was it anything gross it was definitely. sweet it was like babe I miss you so. much along those lines. but if you ask her about it she's always. going to be like very dismissive like. he's good he doesn't know about the show. right he knows but he doesn't know.

you're on it or talk listen to it he has. I'm sorry when he says he doesn't listen. he probably doesn't oh. every single impossible every second of. every episode he has watched I could. promise you that oh we don't say his. name his name is uh George is he a. Filipino yeah yeah all right one of the. good ones is he one of the languages. that you guys speak or the other guy um. oh he does you know thanks for. thanks for coming on the show.

I love how when I left the house I was. like Jules you coming with me to bad. friends she was half asleep she's like. nope. you don't like coming here anymore I. thought it was Thursday were you excited. about Thursday. yeah. you're getting too old for this show huh. no you're growing out of the show no. this you know what this show is like. this is like Mom and Dad want to play. game night and you used to be like no. it's fun and now you're like I don't.

want to play [ __ ] Shoots and Ladders. anymore oh you guys called it Shoots and. Ladders how lame what is it called. Snakes and Ladders that's a Filipino. version of course it is wait was it. Shoots and Ladders yeah yeah Shoots and. Ladders oh no we had snakes I know you. did. Snakes and Ladders by the way make some. trees yeah snakes and climber tree. to get away from enemy you must climb. three for half of game. snake no shoot dude like give me give me. pull up snakes why shoot yeah what.

shoots shoots a slide slides and ladders. is what it should have been called. but it Shoots and Ladders man oh shoots. maybe like c-h-u-t-e. shoots and letters yeah yeah Shoots and. Ladders. yeah that's not what we had can you look. up Snakes and Ladders. yeah I said discontinued. there's this thing y sneakers. Snakes and Ladders foreign. oh thank God wait zoom in that's not the. same game it's the same.

it's the same you roll the dice you move. forward if you land on a snake you fall. back down you land on the ladder you. climb. it's the same you've been landing on a. lot of snakes lately. zoom in on that one. could you could you ever be a sugar. daddy. could I just give someone money without. even getting anything in return wait no. but like I could be a sugar baby if an. older lady wanted to pay me just to be. her little like flirt boy yeah and be.

like come clean my pool but no touching. no sucky no lucky no [ __ ]. yeah what about once a month what do I. got to do go down on her nah I don't. want to eat that old [ __ ] bag. easier to you know what I clear it with. my wife I'd easier to be able to she'd. probably let me just [ __ ] her then go. down on her she's like just [ __ ] the old. bag and just so we can get some more. money from her but it depends on how. much it's not worth it if it's you know. it's got to be a good amount of money.

for me to just an extra 3 million a year. you got it. I wouldn't even think [ __ ] twice I'm. eating the box for three that's great. but then I just gotta hang I would I'd. be a little sugar baby for some older. woman who's like. sad her husband left her or her husband. died and she's like I just I just want. someone yelling around to just kind of. [ __ ] pound me once a week. I'd do it yeah I would do it but also.

see which where it would get convoluted. as I'd feel bad because I know she's. emotionally sad see because I know the. woman that's seeking that there's. something else there the man that's. seeking the sugar but he's just a. [ __ ] pervy dude guys are just pervy. empty [ __ ] come buckets these were. just gross we're just nasty animals. poisonous frogs yep we are. yeah I always feel like once you drain. that poison once you guys jerk off. you're so much nicer we're different. yeah we transform meanwhile well you.

guys come you're still [ __ ] you know. even bigger yeah it's like the poison. bruise it's like when you're when you're. flipping the [ __ ] the [ __ ] this is. just like the poison like bubble bubble. and travel wait till I come you'll all. go down. I can't believe I'm still wearing this. [ __ ] wig all right I gotta go. um. I love you thank you so much for coming. on the show Jules also neat that you. came. I know I give you [ __ ] but you know um.

you're a bad friend for [ __ ] life and. shout out to Honey shout out to Honey. Honey jules's mom yeah shout out to. [ __ ] honey honey is the [ __ ] we. love you honey you're the best and uh. what's a Philippine what's uh what's a. Filipino phrase I can say to honey. are you I I oh what does that mean. oh like take care are you. that means like older sister. uh what is honey what would honey but. honey to me is just uh one of the homies.

like how do you say like uh like miss. you dog how do you say that. give me like what the kids would say. when they're like what do you say to. friends when you haven't when you say. goodbye to friends that you're not gonna. see for a long time in the Philippines. you go home you see them and you're. leaving you're like all right bye guys. I'll [ __ ] I see say goodbye say. goodbye say goodbye that's just goodbye. not emotional people down there huh. all right honey say goodbye. hey Andrew before we go uh do you want.

to tell our audience about our. podcasting course a lot of you guys have. been dming us and emailing us and asking. us how do we produce a podcast well. seven Equis is doing just that at the. Helm of the boys that helped produce. this show trash Tuesday and tigerbelly. they're going to teach you how to do the. ins and outs of setting up the cams and. plugging in the chords and pickpack. pecking at the at the computer to figure. out how to edit this thing and make it. beautiful and lovely and wonderful so. you can learn more about the boot camp. uh that's gonna be happening in Los. Angeles California at seven Equis in.

January that's right guys if you're. gonna be like I like Pete and me and. George well nobody wants to be like. George but if you want to be like Peter. and me go to sevenekies.com and sign up. for that course in January and I'll see. you guys there thank you for being a bad. friend. [Music]. how many times do you change your.

panties Jewels oh I changed it every. every time every time every time what's. the time like. hours yeah her and I are pretty wait um. you change your panties every two hour. like two three times a day too what yeah. it's Island folk wait a minute your. socks no but your panties so much yeah. split the difference. I only changed like I even wear clothes. for like almost a week she doesn't have. Bo though I know but come on.

wait a minute your panties every [ __ ]. two hours what do you have to set an. alarm no so every two hours you. literally take off your underwear and. put on new underwear yeah because I feel. dirty what the [ __ ] okay can I just tell. you what it's like you do this too I'll. tell you why it's because once you've. had discharge and you pull it down and a. cold breeze blows over it when you put. it back on it's like now it's like wet. and cold. like.

goop. I'm gonna call my wife. but look at this is Andrea's um fancy. trying balot for the first time are you. eating balut right there. that's your little sister ready. one two three no he's trying balut. oh look at that [ __ ] face.

I've had it so many times but this is. way more important than the states. did you like it fans. it's so good. are you guys doing this from like uh was. this you guys doing tiger belly from. like the inside of a shop yeah her mom's. store please. [Laughter]. fancy.

wait so that's your little sister right. there yeah does she still live in the. Philippines yeah is she is she gonna. come to the states with you. I don't know does she want to be here or. no. I think so she's been here yeah but I. mean live here. I'm trying to look at fancy Jules how do. you feel seeing your mom's store. it's kind of wild yeah I miss it did you. used to work there sometimes yeah oh. that's that's so sweet how cute a tiny.

little store and that little that piece. of bread there with the red inside of it. we call that bury cut and it means um. prostitute no wait really why is bread. with red a hooker is that so wet. it's so wet. laughs. [Music].