Bobby's Bowling Date | Ep 247 | Bad Friends
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this we love that we have hoodies we. have uh crew necks uh long sleeve shirts. uh we got it all baby we got it all baby. because it's cyber be Monday right down. below in the YouTube uh uh the Youtube. store right down below our video uh it's. 20% off because 20% off because of the. Cyber. so you two are bad friends who are these. two idiots a white dude and an Asian. dude you two are disgusting W you.
or something we're bad friends anyway. we're we're filming this. podcast election night we filmed this on. Election night on right now right when. you're listening to this this is. election night I also think we did this. on the last election for we were around. then yeah 2020 yeah 20 2020 this guy I'm. almost posi no one talks except for us. today did we do an episode did we do an. episode on I think we did because I. remember him talking like this this this.
sounds familiar no because I no I tell. you why we weren't Tito Bobby was in. Joshua Tree I was in thank you so much I. was in Joshua Tree H yeah just like you. in a desert Rabb like a rabbit desert. rabbit rabbit rabbit desert rabbit. rabbit I can't I can't po do that I. can't even say desert rabbit dude I. can't even say desert rabbit right now. dude say it again give me the line again. I was in the like desert rabbit oh you. in a desert. rabbit yeah yeah and it was I remember.
do you remember you were there mhm let's. be real though I remember Julio was on. the couch with his arm on the couch. watching me m yeah I remember so did you. even vote. today no I I give money so you didn't. even vote you didn't either yes I did. there's no way where's your sticker. where's my sticker I don't wear the. sticker I'm not a cuck yeah well I did. too then no I know you didn't yes I did. when where I at Beachwood Canyon no you. didn't that ping that what time 2 p.m. 2.
p.m. yeah give me your phone no you give. me your phone okay what what what kind. of gameer are we playing cuz I know at 2. p.m. I can see who you were. communicating with at 2 p.m. and you. would be like I'm in line here I am yeah. that's my I have proof I live with. someone that goes yep I went to the. [ __ ] Elementary and I have proof I. have with people to do it to no you. don't yeah I have my housekeeper why. would you lie because where you going. did you vote Yes I did you're a liar my. house goes where you going I go how can. the fans believe you if you say you'd. voted when we know you didn't how can.
you do this right now cuz you're Mr on. your high horse you're a high hor here. you are complaining about something you. didn't even contribute to yeah yeah he's. never voted well that's my it doesn't. matter in California we all love that no. yeah I need wait hold on I need a. churo that's insane I need you know what. I'm going to get a cookie yeah get a. churo and a cookie yeah I'm going to get. half a cookie that'll solve all your. problems this is what the liberals do. they eat away their feelings they're sad.
about what happened they eat Munch Munch. Munch Cookie. Monster no but let me be serious for a. second okay neither of us voted we know. that you didn't either of course not of. course not but we should for at least. the local elections I'm mad about that. but I couldn't because guess what went. to the registar I'm not registered how I. voted last time called still I need to. go in and turn in more proof documents. that it it's me so either somebody stole. my identity but I don't have my original.
birth certificate do you mine's framed. my parents died in a fire when I was a. kid they're all gone everything's gone. you can do that online request another a. birth certificate exactly thank you so. much how long does it take to get uh. maybe a week this is coming from someone. that definitely didn't get a certificate. of birth. yeah let's not talk about birth. certificates right now dude yeah okay. anyway I tried don't Google go how you. get one then we have to go through the. process I don't want to go through the. process of it long it does take it is a.
pain in the ass it's a whole thing. proving you were born I mean it took me. 3 minutes to register to vote H but H. but yeah because you're a brand new. Citizen and they cannot wait to get your. information guess what dude jury duty. coming your way you're you're going to. have so much solicitation coming your. way I cannot wait you're fresh blood. kiddo you're new to the fold and welcome. by the way can't wait to take your taxes. and another thing scumbag you scumbag. get them Bob you're students right who. paid for their dinner Bobby did was that.
not a nice gesture that's right and you. treat me like you did earlier yeah about. saying oh here's you know he doesn't you. know Mr whatever you said whatever what. did he say I don't remember but I can't. even speak I can't even I'm so emotional. I can't even speak get it out all right. so enough of that kind of behavior all. right and by the way Bobby gave them. money and he goes so far not only did he. give them money he cooked them dinner. tonight came right from cooking dinner. wow isn't that polite that's so polite.
I don't know I don't get that Chef shirt. I love your fashion you always have good. fashion the chef shirt I don't get it's. the roach one the Mone that is the roach. shirt yeah M do you like this one I. think it's sick I think it's sick too. yeah and Mone would no more yeah dude. Mone would no more yeah come over here. yeah yeah yeah look at what this [ __ ]. loser is wearing okay look. yeah he's wearing an Adolf Hitler shirt. you I mean. aend yeah you voted all right great get. out of here get out of here kid fast as. you can yeah.
these jeans have a [ __ ] stain on the. back yeah ha I'll I'll tell you another. thing if you ever pull your pants down. in front of me and jwes and you do a. Ramen fart I swear to god dude you you. have another thing coming well what will. you. do what will you do you know what this. is like that clip with Mike Tyson when. he's like yeah I'm G vote for Trump yeah. what what what you going to do about it. and everyone's like well nothing yeah. that's right so shut the [ __ ] so shut. the [ __ ] up how about that but you know. what it's so funny what what am I going. to do about it what are you gonna do. about it I'm going to do something.
that's not non-violent okay okay so is. that what you're pertaining to no. anything what are you going to do about. it I'm going to fart on I'm going to I. when I got to fart I'm farting right at. you every time I twist Minds mhm okay. and I'll cork screw your [ __ ] mind. into a different dimension you are. mindboggling all right there's a lot. about I I I have people that I call dude. whom whom yeah wh to whom whom do you. call to. whom don't scare me [ __ ] okay you want.
a. war you want a war with me yeah all. right we'll have a war yeah I don't want. it you started it I didn't start [ __ ]. yeah yeah you came at me don't fart in. my face nobody farted in your face I. farted at her you farted at both of us. well so much you know what you were in. the blast radius you caught some. shrapnel you were in the blast radius it. was aimed at you look I tried to hit the. Philippines it's like when Chernobyl. went off right it affected Germany it. did yeah yeah is that what you're saying. yes I'm Germany yes you're German [ __ ]. dude that's say sneak SCS yeah yeah by.
the way Ramen I'm never going to go to. that place ever again which one is it. well I don't want to [ __ ] on it yeah. whisper whisper well we can blank it out. yeah blank it out oh it's terrible dude. there's one by our houses no this was. cuz I was on the road I know I know I'm. on the R I was on the run and I was like. it's I had a post made to bring it here. to eat it guess how much my Ramen was. tonight from them I'm not kidding I. added some [ __ ] in there okay so uh I. got I got a regular old school and I. added a few new vegetables and and I.
wanted extra meat $32 $32 right you know. what I mean that's a ripoff boohoo dude. that's a ripoff bro do you know that's a. ripoff but but by any standard that's a. ripoff that's a ripoff this guy buys a. silk right cover for each one of his. [ __ ] golf clubs that's not true. that's AB 89.95 each silk right he's got. 15 golf clubs right because they have to. be like you know what I mean spotless. and it's got to have that [ __ ] go get. the golf clubs right now and see how. they're those are your secondary ones.
those are those are your secondary ones. that you keep at the office you have. ones at home whatever I have no clubs at. Louis Vuitton put it back Louis Vuitton. look at those silk things B nardy those. covers are for the drivers uninformed. didn't you get beat with those things. you don't even know what they are yeah. yeah my dad took the covers off oh he. did yeah when he beat me with them okay. so um the silk cover dude thanks for not. playing good improv and getting on board. me with the ramen oh so $33 for ramen.
oh no you know man they should go back. to wherever they came from that's way. too much money where should they go back. to I thought you wanted an improv now. you're doing you're now you're neing it. well what do you no I'm not going to. don't you're negative go back to where. they came from I don't know what bit you. want me to do dude a funny one say it. again then let's start again say it. again I I I I'll read the tempo you know. I had really good ramen today yeah well. where but it was expensive where let me. guess where let me guess yeah because.
I've had a problem with these people too. dude where does it say with start with a. j it does end with a a it does janga MHM. jonga jonga janga did you get nervous. when we were yelling at each other yeah. and you were getting red so I thought it. was I'm hot I should take off this. sweater it's too hot in here yeah you're. scary when you're angry I know thank you. what me uh you're okay yeah see that's. what I'm saying yeah you're SC I get. angry with peace H you know what I mean. no yeah yeah firm but soft always softt.
yeah it's a com it's a combo see I do. combo Expressions what people don't. realize about me yeah you're like a. combo yeah yeah filled with [ __ ] yeah. rage but. empathy little hint of empathy. underneath right Joy but with a little. bit of resentment you know I mean it's a. combination I put out there because I'm. human and I'm a complex human being D. dynamic in many ways okay so I am sorry. that you spent so much on that food. thanks and um I'm just not going to tell.
you anything anymore that's you're being. like a little baby right now you lead. the show oh come on dude can I just say. something no leave the show tonight I'll. tell you something right I'm going to. let you leave the show you ready so this. [ __ ] guy Amir K is in the Green Room. at the com I'll tell you where where. where I'm at right now yeah where's this. coming from I thought we'd put cookies. in you you'd be happy give me hey give. me the the rest of the cookie please. yeah yeah please give himic huh what. what happened with theic I'm on theic.
oh dude dude don't I'm trying to have a. show tonight I know dude what are you. doing dude I'm Gonna Get You All I'm. gonna you want to get give me give the. thank you thank you what's this no stop. stop give me the other one no what's. this I don't know it's in the Box you. want half of this Rudy yeah okay very. good I don't want this probably jelly or. something yeah yeah come here dude lick. it off his. finger yeah there go go good boy good. boy boy.
okay good cookie this is so good let's. start a new let's start a new okay so a. week ago I'm in The Green Room at The. Comedy Store I'm just sitting there with. I want to say his name should I say. it why can't you say the name he's my. dear friend yeah we're friends with him. but we can't say the name because you. want to protect him because of what the. best well you know I I just you know he. he started spouting off some politics.
you know I mean you know if when it. comes to fishing I'll listen to. him what's so funny he loves the fish. he's actually incredible Fisher I've. eaten fish that he's caught yeah yeah. he's a great fisherman okay what's so. funny mcon yeah dude what's so funny I. just wasn't expecting fishing to get. brought up in this political. [Music]. conversation well I mean for sure he. can't come to Australia you're not. coming yeah yeah for sure. unpack your [ __ ] when you get home yeah.
yeah for sure unpack it stay yeah. because that's tough that right there. dude not good D let me tell you I don't. want to cut you off I want this story to. finish but just so I can be a little bit. more I'm with you here when I walked in. today and these two guys saw well no you. saw it actually Andre saw it did he have. attitude to. me Bobby if you were [ __ ] here and. then I yelled at him and I said if Bob. were here for this and you the response. the way he responds to me the these days. it's okay it's it's I I'm actually like.
I'm genuinely shocked okay so this bad. friends just to give you some education. is a TV show we do TV show numbers. that's right okay yeah so you know when. a PA let's see a. showrunner what what a showrunner there. let's say there's a showrunner got it. and a PA or or you know somebody on set. that does like props right M talks back. right in a negative way to the. showrunner right the show runner doesn't. even know that dude's name he gets fired.
on the spot he's like who's that who's. that guy what we did was we went oh. let's memorize the prop guy's name right. we let him in and like get let's. exchange number with the [ __ ]. lighting guy right and all of a sudden. the lighting guy is like oh I'm equal to. the showrunner he is actually an. assistance assistant exact assistance. assistance assistant he's assistant. assist assist yeah yeah yeah definitely. and for some reason he's in the. executive office right and he thinks. you're a peer and you're not right and.
what you're going to realize my little. friend okay is that when you're out in. the world without us yeah you're going. to drown you're going to drown pal right. you're going to drown and you're going. to drown forever so if you want this. life-saving best wait what's that smirk. about Carlos about drowning forever that. made me laugh but you're doing the thing. too like yeah you try to make me drown. that's what that laugh was you're so on. edge tonight dude I didn't what you're. on edge is crazy all I I'm not on edge.
all I did was laugh don't am call me on. edge you're a standup comedian I laughed. at your [ __ ] joke get out of here now. you rais your you're fire you're fire. I'm man you actually you need me for the. weeks Stay Stay okay stay stay don't. push me dude I got it all right so you. made you made the bet this Indian Middle. Eastern guy okay sure whatever yes you. know what I mean funny guy he's from. Iran funny guy right right and you know. he's got a person he's saying that's. from a different mid Midwest who has.
certain beliefs sure I don't I have. dinner with them that's fine fine right. but he started touting off like oh for. sure it's got real politic it's going to. be Trump right and you know I'm not that. I you know I'm in the middle you know I. was. like can I can I ask you something. what's going on with the show Andrew can. I ask you something. please is it me no what what I'm seeing. and I'm sensing is it me no so I'm not. going.
insane uh tap your side right now tap. the side of your leg okay because. everyone in here is out of pocket you. hear that my pockets are empty cuz all. you guys are out of it dude you're out. of [ __ ] I'm out of pocket yeah I have. no money these guys are out of pocket it. is him tonight oh my God what you say. you're vibrating with like crazy energy. tonight oh my God I came here with such. Namaste energy like he was I came here I. came here like Steven Sagal Namaste dude. Namaste and then what you're doing dude. is your [ __ ] gaslighting me you're.
making me feel nervous you Bobby wait. why what you too now yeah like what your. energy wow what's going. on wow wow you have the floor I want you. to just what what dude could I just ask. you something yeah are you on my side I. need. you do me a favor tell I'm being. real I'm being real right now I know I. need you on my side right now take one.
more bite of a all right I need you let. one more bite I need you to go down with. me if I'm going to go down dude I'm. right here I'm I love you so much I'm. right here I don't feel any support here. hey I am right here I feel no support. here I'm right here okay but what is. that what is. [Laughter]. that. hahaa ha of course I'm on your side. never leave your side I will never leave. your side ever I'll never abandon you.
ever no fine I feel. great I feel wonderful thank you can I. say something last night you got a. compliment at the party we went to. Bert's house for a little surprise party. that was fun although it wasn't a. surprise oh can I just tell you about. that too piece of [ __ ] what did I you. dog hole human what did I what did I do. you you [ __ ] [ __ ] what did I do I tell. you you did what did I. do I'm a couple hours away I think I'm. going to be late to this thing and you. text me you have to be there by 6:30 no.
yeah you did I can I get the text right. here you called me and you said I had to. be there at 6 there's a surprise party. but what I'm saying is that so I get. there at 5:50 mhm I wait 40 minutes. there's no one there I'm at Burke's. house I'm just there with his wife it's. you and your brother and my brother and. and Leanne ker what a what a nice moment. right but now Bert's coming at 6:30 and. now I'm the only one there saying. surprise.
so I hear Berke come in the house and. there's like yeah 20 people supposed to. be there right he comes around the. corner and my brother who my bir never. met Steve before and I have like little. cigar case that I bought him and we go. surprise right and he laughed so hard. because that was like the most UNG. glorious surprise what a comedy moment. right what a funny moment he goes you're. the last person I ever thought that you. would be her and then you trickle it at. 650 like What's your deal Amigo okay so.
give me a little bit of credit for a. great comedy moment in both your and. Bert's life I know you you got the text. message you didn't read it you called. old Andy and you said what time do we. have to be there even though it texted. us today the Evite this is when you're. supposed to be there so I said to you. you got to be there by 6 yes the invite. said no need to come before 6:30 yes I. did had to bait you to be there before.
everybody cuz I thought that'd be funny. it's not it worked it did for you it was. hilarious and the world okay cuz I. walked in and everybody was like what. how is Bobby here before anybody else it. was perfect and by the way you're. welcome he remembered it he talked about. it all night when you left he's like how. cool was that that Bobby was here with. his brother first yeah so you're welcome. okay and I stayed all night by the way. talking with Bert and Leanne how long. were you there to uh uh I think I left. at 10:40 or 11:00 wow we talked all.
night wow I love those people I love. them too they're great a I had to get. out of there and Fitz Simmons oh my God. oh my God what so Bert has Bert has. dogs berd has dogs that are so. big I mean it's almost shocking you know. when you see a dog that's so big you. can't believe it pit bulls they're. they're like um bu Mastiff they're. Mastiffs but they're mixed. so check this [ __ ] out the first picture.
is the first picture is of Steve Steve. uh who I'm i l more than anybody is. sitting on the couch this is Bobby's. brother sitting on the couch with the. dog doesn't like him that much but I. love Steve look at this there's Steve. and I said to Leanne how much does that. dog weigh yeah she go I go Steve that. dog is as big as you the dog is 160 lb. yeah he weighs more than Steve Steve. weighs 155b. dog is bigger than Steve what a. beautiful dog and look at the next.
picture look at how scared Fitz was of. sitting next to this dog okay didn't. like the drool of the petting look at. his face look at his [ __ ] face dude. that was at the end of the night look at. the size of that dog his head he's. looking more and more like the old man. from. up look at that photo. dude I mean I love him I showed this. photo to my wife and she didn't have her. glasses on yeah and she literally goes. look at that dog and then she goes Ellen. was there last night.
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again you questioning questioning my. [ __ ] strength again dude I cannot. believe today you don't have the core. strength you don't have nothing what you. have nothing either dude you got to come. with better than that no I'm not I don't. need to I can I can come with whatever. his energy today Rudy it's wild yeah. what is that you're right what is going. on get him another cookie you're right. honesty you're right right I'm I'm off. I'm off I'm off. I'm you know what I'll try chocolate.
croissant today today is wild yeah I'll. take a chocolate croissant get him a. chocolate croissant please this is. something big hey mcon do me a huge. favor yeah have one of those [ __ ]. things loaded in the chamber yeah also. can I have another thing dude um give me. a Diet Coke if there is WR I'd really. like one I look at me I know what's. wrong I know what's wrong my best friend. I know what's wrong what's wrong this is. a this is an emotional day you wear your. emotions on your sleeve Rudy.
help um my birthday is on Saturday oh. shut the [ __ ] up it won't be here wait. your birthday's on Saturday. oh I'm turning 23 I feel old 23 oh God. you're so Haggard now you're burnt. they'd kick you out of Vegas that's when. I started standup Rudy jues birthday. there it is yeah so sad we'll get you. something Coke what did you get what did. you get Bert for his birthday a box of. cigars yeah you know that's a classy. move I got eight of them yeah there were. a lot that's very expensive I went into.
a cigar store okay can I say something. about Eric Griffin this [ __ ]. [ __ ] moves two hours away yeah. he lives in uh so then he goes hey come. to my house and do a pod my 300th not. knowing and then I look at the map two. two hours away two hours away yeah I'm. out wait it's past Magic Mountain. there's even anything up there I yeah I. thought I thought that that's where it. ended edge of the Earth yeah yeah like a. flat earther I thought that's where it. ended you know past Six Flags there.
ain't nothing past Six Flags so I got. way out there and I'm like oh my I it. was so resentful because it's like. that's so far drive if it was like Conan. O'Brian he would never live that maybe. yeah but he's not living out there you. know what I mean if it was like give me. a name John store yes absolutely I'd. drive wherever the [ __ ] that San. Francisco Drive San I'd walk Eric. Griffin it's like that's a 20-minute. Drive send a car that's my yeah that. that's the most I'll go he should have. 15 20 minutes you know what I mean right.
I keep seeing his ad on Tik Tok who Eric. Griffin what do you mean AD what for. what I don't know and your ad for the. hot sauce hot sauce or beer or something. I keep seeing Oh Fireball yeah I keep. seeing you on Tik Tok the fireball ad. mhm wow you're famous no but they put it. on TV I didn't know it was on Tik Tok. did Tik to oh me and stavos me and the. you remember stavos remember him came. yeah yeah the best by the way his movie.
is getting all sorts of love it's great. you SE congratulations what. congratulations I not in it I'm saying. everything you've never done oh thank. you look at me right now dude yeah look. at me right now uhuh actually st stop. stop stop wait wait 84% audience score. amazing that's [ __ ] huge yeah why no. Tomato Meter cuz there's too few reviews. right cuz it's in Indie the last year. yeah I've been secretly working on a a. movie that's great if you there's a part.
in there. no no because I heard what you already. said you said it and you didn't say it. what you went there's a small if you do. there's a part that's how I said. playback the. tape in the edit yeah play back the tape. of him going there's a smart oh a smart. part oh a smart. part Mr [ __ ] you know what I mean. assumptions over here there's a smart. part yeah for me yeah what's the Char. they smart guy oh scientist how many.
pages many pages money Pages many many. PES yeah you know how many pages of the. film in general 130 you wrote a 130 page. comedy script yep that'll never happen. we're going to condense it you I hope so. anyway to less than 90 okay how many. pages am I in how many smart Pages am I. on 10 I'm me 10 yeah 10 lines how many. scenes 10 lines 10 lines how many scenes. 10 lines one scene it's one scene I have.
10 lines small part it's a small. part this is making sense yeah yeah. because you're not going to do the. lead time out you're not the lead of the. movie it's your [ __ ] movie whoa whoa. whoa what's this pal that. coke can I get a can. or wow Bryson got that right yeah Bryson. very nice of you bud what's the premise. of this movie you've put together and. when you say I've been working on it.
secretly you haven't been at the. computer yeah but I've been meeting up. with the writer telling him what to do. well we go through beats of the movie. and you know mean like yeah yeah I like. that his name was Mike mcgrail I love it. and then so what's the premise of the. film what set in the. 90s and there's a border crossing. between Canada and the US MH it's it's. in Washington and it's it no one crosses. it like once a year I get two cars to. cross it so there's a little B it's in. the '90s and there's a little border U.
Patrol like three agents that work at. that little is this based on a true. story yeah it's a real place okay right. and um generally the three that are. there are like not the best B there's. nothing to do yeah so there's like. pranks between the you know I mean the. Canadian border and this and that. meanwhile a real threat is coming over. great idea right and we a bunch of. bumbling kind of you know I hope I. really I hope that goes cuz that would. be [ __ ] rad this but there's a um a.
scene where. you're I'm you're not going to get me to. do that I mean this from all my heart I. will never do that movie no chance okay. yeah I love you I love you too man I. would that you you wouldn't do that if. it was the other way you know that oh. I've done it before name it every movie. I've ever been in no no if it was the. other way with this with you and I yeah. no no no if it was the other way if I if. okay so I know that spade and Theo has a. movie right right and they might offer. off for me a small part in it right I.
will do it you're you're not listening. to a word I'm saying if this was the. other way and I did and I said we have a. small part for you you're not doing it. do you get it yeah I would no you. wouldn't your mind test test test no he. wouldn't what's a test I'm testing these. guys cuz they know he does say yes to a. lot of his friends I do it podcasts no I. did that Robert Kelly thing out in the. [ __ ] thing that was terrible but this. is me and you it's different than those. people you wouldn't do it if I did this. thing it's funny really scene stealing.
kind of part though it's not like some. throwaway thing it's like you're going. to steal the movie with it yeah you know. what I mean it's super funny there's. violence in it I would you make me so. mad I'm going to go to the theater and. I'm going to go man I wish I was in. there I'm asking you for a favor dude I. don't like. favors I'm asking you for favor okay you. know what what okay that's fine you. throw me I'll do I'm serious you're. right no you're right and I say yes now. listen I'm saying yes hold on hey yeah. yeah yeah can I speak to.
Vic who's Vic this is I'm calling Morgan. Stanley the. bank they're my loan hey guys hey Vic. are we on hey hey do you think I could. pay my mortgage with. favors okay yeah our bills could I pay. them with favors okay did they take. favor slips okay yeah like if I can't. pay my [ __ ] mortgage this month is it. cool if I say it's for a favor hold on. could they do a favor for me what's up. all right Vic I'll talk to you we all.
right. bye he's actually getting a phone call. Done. Right Jean Hong you [ __ ] cut it out. you made you called Morgan and. Morgan you know I'll do whatever you. want I would do anything for you and let. me have a moment I'm going to call a. miror though let me have a moment with. you okay I mean it you know I would do. anything for you anytime for the rest of. my life after this all right yeah I'm on. I'm on B friends right now and and I I. think I lost get that money out and get.
it ready. buddy I know dude I I admit I was wrong. and I lost and I'm gonna give you the. 500 wrong whato man tell this man how. wrong he was man he was wrong. man all right. soir I love Amir yeah yeah so it's a. it's cash money Andrew Cash Money 500. dude no no he said Amir what you said it. was a th. yeah it was a, it was $500 air if you.
want to go down this road I can go down. this road with you dude okay Trump. America baby it's a thousand bucks. brother all right brother I I'm going to. Australia tomorrow when I get back. you'll get the 500 beautiful I love you. I love you buddy love you dude he's so. funny by the way now I feel better. because now because he was the only one. I bet with right yeah yeah I feel better. good I accept it accept this you know. I'm going to do the movie I would do. anything for you and I mean it no look. at me don't rudge me off I do a bit for. the show you're going to be so mad.
there's no part in the movie for. [Laughter]. you I'm kidding there is let's move. onoc yeah you are choc chocolate. chocolate let's be real I'm not doing. the mov I would never. [ __ ] that [ __ ] it give him the yes give.
him a churro please give him the give. chur give me a churro put it in keep it. in the chamber dud right here give it I. want a plate please give me a plate. you're eating a lot no he's not you're. going to puke again I. I he's already you didn't take it today. I it yesterday I took it yeah not today. isn't it it's one week once a week oh. [ __ ] yeah I'm gurgling you're gurgly but. I need to do it because I'm just I don't. know what else cuz it's fun yeah you'll. be fine you found it cuz he's this guy's. the best we don't even have oh in the. cabinets yeah let me let me say this.
that does sound like a [ __ ]. phenomenal movie idea I really do I. really like that like I think it does. sound dope I think you're going to kill. it they're not going to they're going to. do it why would they not I don't even. understand why we don't even have a. thing yet you know with the production. team that they've got behind it that's. people going to want to do that but um. yeah that's what my Dreamcast would be. that's your Dreamcast yeah oh they're. not attached to it I just like I want. for this I want him I want him and then. I. what's so funny what's so funny cuz let.
me tell you something about your. Dreamcast with the zombie movie I knew. that was coming yeah yeah yeah yeah I. don't know who these other people are. but I know that who's not in. it us two and now I swear to God on my. mother's life oh that's on my mother's. life I will never do. it [ __ ] piss me off now dude you just. lost me dude this is what you get you. piece of [ __ ] dude this is what you get. I'm glad you're not I need a break from. you dude I'm glad you're not going to.
Australia oh [ __ ] yeah you want to tell. him what he's going him and his wife and. the baby are. coming. how they they asked if they could make a. family vacation but not the whole time. yeah no don't I know it's coming I can. hear. it oh it's coming we Rudy I haven't. talked to you all night I'm Sor you talk. to her I need I need time how are you.
I'm good how are you what's going on in. your world right now um nothing you. feeling you feeling good you feeling bad. what's going what what's what's the news. well I'm scared for the election you are. well it's over when this podcast comes. out it's over yeah so how do you feel. it's over it happened. CA whatever you say yeah so I don't I'm. not going to get deported yeah you will. you'll get deported regardless you will.
why if we have anything to do with it. but you guys are helping me we are we're. going to keep you in this country for as. long as let me ask you something if if. there was some like you know Trump was. like you I want to get everyone out of. here do you think you and I have be able. to figure out her situation or no yeah. we would use like the the famous card. and we'd get I think that would have to. go through we'd have to go through Rogan. maybe yeah we'd have to go through. somebody to keep her here yeah Rogan. would I mean yeah call Trump cuz you'd. endorsed them yeah please keep her yeah. keep her he's not GNA kick you out he's. not gonna kick you out I promise.
hopefully no he's more likely to k kick. Andre's out for sure at least revoke. right yeah the citizenship because you. could find out what kind of trash bag he. really is yeah so nothing is going on in. your world um you're in the you're in. school right now yeah I don't know if I. can say it but I got I got dumped by my. friends wait dumped I'm sorry your. boyfriend you mean friends wait your. friend tell us what happened let us be. helpful okay but you guys are also the.
reason why I got. dumbed what the [ __ ] did we do wa wait. wait wait wait wait wait. please okay be honest remember when I. told you I went to that. party uh Hermosa yeah more details I. remember shis oh yeah yeah yeah those. cowboys and stuff there you said yeah. and you guys said I needed new friends. because my current friends were trash I. didn't we didn't say that that's insane.
I don't think we said that at all yeah. you did we said trash I think so and. then they heard about it from who from. the podcast why are they listening why. are they listening to the that's what. I'm saying but then I guess they're. listening and then what they say and. then they ghosted me wow that's they. ghosted you they know this is a comedy. pacas we're [ __ ] kidding I explained. it in a long. letter apologize for hurting their. feelings no no no no no are you being.
[ __ ] real right now dude okay I am so. livid oh my God first of all don't get. me started dude what's going on you. shouldn't have to apologize we're joking. we joking around and you never said. anything bad you never said anything bad. they didn't like that I called them. party girls I want I want I it's it's. it's the re you know what I'm glad Trump. won I can't I can't that's the point I. can't I can't I can't any I'm done. you're done I'm done with it it's gone. too far two s that I hate it they don't.
want to be called Party Girls my God why. is party girl is that in what world. would that be like would that be. defamatory party girl I want a party. [ __ ] yeah you're a party girl you're a. party girl I'm a party guy I'm a party. boy yeah yeah so they didn't so wait. they said they called us party clearly. so okay what did they so they called you. and go we can't believe no they ghosted. me yeah but that but you're you're. assuming that the ghost is attached to. that so I I want to know how you know.
that they saw it cuz they must have said. something somebody someone from that. group that's like I'm close to them I. texted her personally and then she said. yeah we didn't like what you said in the. podcast and you hurt our. feelings okay first of all we hurt the. feelings you didn't do that then I said. party girls okay so then you said part. party girls and I kind of nodded when. you said you you need new friends it's a. [ __ ] it's a it's a comedy podcast I I.
I I I I I I explained that I can't do it. I'm out I'm I'm out explain it on a. letter nobody reads letters yeah yeah. yeah yeah or let let's try to make. amends now they're not going to listen. yes would they listen to the last one I. don't so party. girls but no I mean I don't know their. names so I don't know how to address. them listen up party girls no no no how. about jules's. ex-friends Jules ex-friend yeah yeah. yeah listen to me right now by the way.
you guys are only creating a monster. she's going to become a superhero now. because of this right you're fueling her. fire. okay so. umg oh I'm so sorry I fell off a. building I hit you so hard you fell off. a building yeah dude my God this car. what's your car doing on a on the on the. roof was going 180 mph on the roof well. I'm an idiot I'm so sorry well you use. Morgan and Morgan I'll tell you what it. is you want to know what it is. Morgan and Morgan is America's largest. injury Law Firm they have over 100.
officers Nationwide and more than a. thousand lawyers yeah but there's no way. they've they they' have over like20. billion recovered for over 500,000 right. they do Morgan and Morgan does you tell. me they have a proven track record of. fighting to get you full and fair. compensation that's exactly what I'm. saying to you really yeah well I mean I. bet you submitting an injury claim with. Morgan Morgan it's not easy is it it is. so easy it is yeah dude how easy when. you're doing algebra in the dark at. night without a rope that's hard that's. hard but submitting a Morgan Morgan.
submitting an injury claim with Morgan. Morgan is easy easy yeah give me one wow. what else is hard raising someone else's. kids yeah that's hard submitting an. injury claim at Morgan Morgan is that's. got to be easy if you're ever injured. you can check out Morgan and Morgan. their fee is free unless they win for. more information go to forthepeople.com. badri or dial pound law pound 529 from. your cell phone that's forthe people.com. badri or dial pound law pound 529 from. your cell this is a paid advertisement.
ladies okay. Jewels is probably one of the best human. beings I've ever met in my whole entire. life fact she's a daughter to me I love. her like I my own flesh and blood I. really believe that yeah me too I feel. that okay and there's not a bad bone in. her body in fact some of this podcasting. mumbo jumbo we're forcing her to do it. really to be honest with you because. she's so good you know mean she's just. perfect for the show she's brilliant. she's innocent right there's just.
certain dynamics that work well with us. you know her personality and so we bring. her on here you know I mean she's she's. game right game a lot of times um she's. just kind of going along with what we're. saying she's just having fun she's. having fun but is she sometimes she's. not I'm having fun yeah yeah but but but. at the end of the day um you know if you. take that personally come on keep going. yes all right you're goingon to die.
you're going to die the world is a scary. so SC I mean not like I'm not I'm just. saying no we're not going to kill you. yeah we're not going to kill you I'm. just saying life is going to just. [ __ ] it's going to eat down on you. and press you into the dirt yes all. right and just smudge your face deep. into the dirt and then when you once you. learn yeah yeah that Jewels is not the. are you out of your mind yeah that's a. that's aad life is hard I'm so. and Jules is not the culprit here we are. we are we're the evil ones yes she's not.
she's just having fun innocent yeah yeah. and and and if that is going to sever a. friendship because of a dumb joke that. him and I made yeah that's not chill. yeah we know you're not potty girls we. know that you're. intelligent. ethical. moral sensitive sensitive for. sure weak what say it a little weak weak. yeah weak a little weak weak yeah a. little weak tender soft tender soft.
pliable pliable yeah yeah malleable. manable yeah malleable Mal I like that. word valuable but malleable valuable but. malleable and look right we don't know. you and we love you and we want you to. know that Jules loves you we also and. she's a sensitive Soul too and she. doesn't like someone taking a joke that. these two morons made to heart because. we're dumb idiots we really are look at. the set that we're on the set that we're. on we're inside of a McDonald's I mean. give me a break we're morons morons and.
we're just trying to have fun and please. two guys don't take it out on Jules just. having fun two guys just having fun so. Jules is a great girl and if it's you. know at the end of the day I honestly. believe this it's so your loss that's. your loss if you don't to be friends. with really because this is a rising. person this is a great human yeah she's. Rising he's going to lose a great you. know who she is dude oh you know who she. is what you ever see Logan Logan Paul no. not Logan Paul the movie Logan oh yeah. Logan the origin story Logan yeah. remember the little girl oh yes with the.
two claws yes right she's from Spain. she's from Spain yeah shut up on Grace. okay zoom in on that that that right. there Rudy is Rudy that's Rudy cuz she. loves knives right and so hey party. girls you would to [ __ ] with that I. wouldn't I wouldn't [ __ ] with that I. want that on my side right see that body. right there that was a party boy that. was a party boy yeah yeah and she. destroyed him right so if you don't call. her. back you're going to have war with us.
that's right you don't want that you. don't want that that's bad you called. her back you invite her back to Moose. mckill cuties or wherever you guys go it. was moose M yeah yeah or whatever right. or Sharky pizza or Woodfire Mexican food. whatever it is Pitfire right right and. you go out and hang out with these. [ __ ] have fun have fun and just know. that you're party girls know that you. are party girls you know you know what. I'm going to double down on it you are. party girls you're absolutely Party. Girls right. and uh because we get mad at the things. we are yeah we get mad at the things we.
are and you got mad cuz somebody called. you a party girl because you're a party. girl party. girls we did a full [ __ ] we came. right back to where we started we don't. care yeah you know what I'm good no you. know what I'm going to go this way stop. stop good don't ever talk to them again. I'm yeah yeah I'm no don't ever talk to. them again I I just thought about it. it's [ __ ] uncalled for you deserve. cool friends that that have a that don't. care about. two idiots saying something dumb yeah. it's just awkward going to school cuz I.
see them and then I'm oh yeah I don't. want you to you know what dude don't see. them well school don't see them pretty. small yeah what in school I can see them. though you but I I see people that I. don't see this is know you listen to. this right this is true this is true. dude he did it yesterday yeah I do it. yeah I do it all the time if there's. somebody at a party I don't like yeah. you don't see them I see them but I. don't I didn't know you were there yeah. I saw I see right through them I didn't. even see you at the party see right. through them yeah okay they're nothing. that's great yeah you're in a movie okay.
you know I'll tell you something right. now there was a movie called Commando. love do you remember the Commando who's. in the movie Commando um caros M does m. do you know I actually haven't seen. Commando yeah yeah who's in it Andre. Arnold durar old Arnolds in Commando. right there's a scene in Commando well. this is probably I could use probably a. million other movies yeah I don't know I. don't know why I used Commando it just. came to my mind yeah cuz I just remember. watching Commando as a kid and there was. like a couple of people exploding in the. background love right and I'm like I.
always thought to myself oh that actor. not much to do yeah yeah so that was. Commando Mr steel your girl but if you. see that right there's a million people. that die in back of them they explode. they get shot up and whatever right. right A lot of times it's like that be. Commando be Commando right shoot him up. shoot him up dude well don't literally. but metaphorically shoot him up yeah be. that guy okay and with the little Logan. girl like a combo combo deal okayand. Logan you're Commando Logan dude you're. Commando Logan in fact when you turn. Saturday that's your new name Commando.
Logan. yeah. [Music]. salute that's. British that's Bri there's no that's us. no that's British that's no way dude. that's British this. yeah my national. when you do that is that really British.
no what is it that's ours thank you yeah. hey yeah it's British yeah it's British. I know you're right that's all right. yeah uh so I have a crush you have a. little new crush it's a gay that's not. gay. whoa ring the bell I finally got you to. come out on this show after all these. years of doing the three card Monty he. finally picked up it's a smart role it's. a smart role oh it is go ahead who who's. the crush Charles Milton. so it is gay no I just think he's.
hot what do you mean oh what do you mean. what do you mean you said no it's not. gay it's not gay that's gay that's gay. it's not gay how is how isn't cuz I'm I. hung out with him I went bowling with. him right so you're gay no he taught me. how to bowl wrong guy I've heard that. before what a guy he he he really did. he's like dude the under cuz you know. how I bowl and I go underhand yeah you. flip it he goes he grabbed my hand like. this and he goes grip it like this right. keep your eyee on the that's a date no.
it's not a date dude he he showed you. how to bowl yeah and he goes and then he. goes just don't it's not about strength. I want more accuracy this sounds so gay. no and I just looked at of his face and. and he got and he smiled that guy right. there yeah and I he got so I he I. learned and then I had the best score. I've ever gotten that he scored well it. was me Charles Milton and Ali Wong on. one team and then Jean Sunny you know. what I mean from beef and some other. people on the other team and Charles. Milton taught me how to [ __ ] Bowl you. got a little crush and that's not a.
crush it's not no I'm not gay you said. crush to start the whole thing I think. that he but can I be honest with. you ask me if you think I think I see if. he handsome do you think couldn't even. get it out I couldn't get it out ask me. yeah ask me you think do you think. Charles Milton is handsome yeah and I. can say that as a. hetero okay okay seems like do you get. butterflies when seeing him it's not. butterfly you know here's what I got. excited about can I tell you how I got. excited sounds like butterflies doesn't.
it yeah no you don't know what. butterflies are then you do yeah I think. I do and I think you look look at that. right now stare at that for five seconds. quietly he was he doesn't look like that. stare at that five four three two one I. can actually see it in your eyes you're. having like a throwback in your eyes all. right so so you got a little crush no. it's not a crush but um it's a man crush. so I was at the bowling alley mhm and he. comes he has a motorcycle right so he.
has a helmet right he has like like one. of those Wolverine leather jackets right. and he looks greasy yeah and he just. came out took the helmet off and I. looked and I I could recognize him. already right but I'm like you know I'm. like you know I said don't don't make. the first. move don't don't like just be cool you. know what I mean yeah so I was just kind. of like looking at sound like a girl on. a date no no no I was looking at the B. so I see him I was right next to where. the rack of the bowling so I was like. sticking my fingers in the holes to see.
which one what you think that's a thing. M no I'm trying to find the right hole. yeah you're I know you are yeah yeah I. know you are right and he goes he comes. right up to me and he goes I'm a big fan. of yours yeah and I go you want a bowl. it goes eat first so we ate first so you. had a date you had a dinner date no kene. was there too the one we just talked. earlier sure yeah Jean was eating with. you yeah us me me Jean and Charles mhm. and we ate um was it ever just you and. Charles. alone. no no did you want it to be no I see.
this is kind of [ __ ] I'm talking. about at the end of the night this is. the kind of [ __ ] I'm talking take f. [ __ ] photo off when he said goodbye. no leave it up at the end of the night. when he said goodbye did you kind of. want to hang some. more well he's a talented guy I want to. learn did you want to hang some more. yeah I want to learn things from him he. taught me how to bowl you wanted to see. him. again did you exchange numbers no I. didn't do you wish you did nope. is just a little cry on the internet to. no no this is so stupid what you're.
doing right now dude I'm not gay it's. ridiculous it's okay no don't do that. doesn't work whatever you're it doesn't. matter okay no one cares anyway you. don't have man crushes cuz let me say. something right now I saw at the party. last night dude I think you do on whom. what on whom Chris Porter that's right. man crush you were swinging for you're. you're really reaching I was reaching. for it yeah fit Simmons yeah you and fit. Simon have a little man crushy he's a. great guy we just we just love to he. shits on me like the way we joke is the. way you and I joke yeah he's got great.
he's a great guy great Rhythm he'll talk. really good [ __ ] by the way the barbecue. we had last night ajs so good so good my. god dude that's the one thing I the. problem I have with can I say go ahead. no go ahead here's my problem go ahead. I'm going to say my problem now and want. all everyone to hear my problem say it. baby okay so it's so funny because that. bowling party mhm and Bert's party there. is one Common Thread and guess what the. Common Thread is there was something.
there at both parties and I think I know. you know what it. is oh yeah what is it people that don't. deserve to be there. no Kidd no it's something you consume. I'm kidding something you consume weed. no alcohol it's a food oh cake whose. cake Tom Cruz yes Bingo Tom Cruz cake so. there's a cake coconut it's a coconut. cake that Tom Cruz in all the party he.
gives it as gifts apparently and he at. when he goes to events like weddings and. whatnot he brings his cake and. apparently it's legendary Tom Cruz cake. it's called Tom Cruz coconut cake okay. so so when I went to that beef party. where I saw Charles there was six Tom. Cruz cakes and they made an. announcement Tom Cruz cake they bring. that out right and I ate it I'm like. it's pretty good yeah it's fine but then. Bert brings it out hey guys you can't.
believe it like they as if it was from. Tom Cruz's [ __ ] yeah you I mean that. that's the [ __ ] you know I mean the. the oven he does poop white you know. that right it was almost as if and. they're like we got it like it's hard to. find right so I waited in line like. everyone yes you did I was excited you. were very excited yeah yeah I get the. Tom Cruz kick again you know what I mean. but I like the sheet cake. better the sheet cake was. better it was so good the she cake the. she cake the she cake was good that was. so that was so good but the Tom Cruise.
cake is good right but when you're. eating it you're like if I if if I. didn't know this was Tom Cruz's cake. would I go oh best coconut I ever had no. I don't think so no you go this is how. it tastes like coconut cake it's a good. coconut cake you ever had coconut cake I. don't like coconut yeah what if they all. have like there's a matte Damon Danish. oh a dam Damon Danish right like a Damon. Danish do you think everyone has one. thing yeah I would love to have a Bobby. Lee uh um fla oo D like at a party.
people like we got it Bobby Lee fla it'. probably be what something else what do. you mean flan is typically a Mexican. yeah but that's what makes it in. intriguing a Korean dude you know what I. mean you be like also Tom the Tom Cruz. thing cake isn't something that he made. he found it the Baker and he was like oh. this is my thing you think that's good. way too try well C Le's FL right well. they have a carrot cake there that's. mine last night I ate it it was better.
than the I thought the coconut cake. that's Andrew Santino's carrot cake that. is well I was going to say it was Bobby. Lee's carrot cake I'm I'm orange oh [ __ ]. that clearly would be my cake oh yeah. maybe they have 11 pound cake I could. that could be probably it's much more. than 11 pound cake what lemon pound cake. oh lemon pound that's you yeah yeah I. think you said 11 pound cake I was like. it's that's come on I never said 11. pound cake oh no no the 11 is number you. need to lose the 11 pound cake that's. what it is okay lemon pound cake you're.
right I'm sorry lemon pound cake that's. the Bobby Lee Cake yeah not 11 you're. kind of more of like a seven layer. dip that's kind of your that's they have. that there then maybe I can claim a. seven layer dip cake okay anyway okay. lemon pound cake Bobby Lee carrot cake. Andrew Santino yeah what's Rudy what. would you. have can I be a brownie that's actually. really we got Rudy jules's Brownie and. they're like Rudy who no oh they won't. do that I love you yeah you got to take. a bite it's like take that that was mean.
take a bite that was so that could be. you right there what U cake you're like. blood sausage take a bite and you know. what it tastes like a party girl in your. mouth when you take a bite of that stuff. yeah m a party girl in your mouth now. would you eat the cake if it was. something that you didn't like if it was. good yeah you I mean like this is JD. Vance you know croissant if it was bomb. yeah maybe like that what you don't know. who made that I a real grade a bigot.
could have made that it's really good. though still delicious e it. yeah uh oh uh oh what's going on oh he. is come on sit down Dax how are. you hello Dax Dax hello hi hi hello. hello Dax how'd you feel uh last Tuesday. uh good that was fun I was nervous but. that was fun you did such a great job. you did a great job did feel like you. did well uh it was hard to tell because.
it was quite like overwhelming just like. I had never done done it in front of. that many people but it was fun you. killed thank you can we can we see some. of it video before you play that let me. what's your uh did you vote Yes okay uh. what's your prediction uh that uh Camala. Harris will win. uhhuh when will this come out right now. it's already over when this comes out it. already Happ okay yeah so now that it's. now we're in the future now right Trump. won. oh okay yeah yeah yeah okay. so but you're fine yeah look at that.
look at that all right here we go let's. watch this tape hey everyone I hope. you're doing. awesome very good so far thank. you clap your hands if you like the bad. friends smart I can't hear. you awesome so I love going to the. aquarium my favorite thing is always. just looking at all the jellyish fish. but I always just wish there were some. peanut butter fish as.
well I um recently went through a. breakup not my fault I promise but um. basically she used to get headaches all. the time and she'd get really mad at me. because I'd be like don't worry it's. only in your head and then she'd be like. no I really have a headache and I'd be. like no literally it's just in your. head all right honestly honestly so you. felt good uh yeah it was really fun did. well the next step is is take it on the. road okay yeah yeah did you get a lot of.
good did you get a good response online. to people hitting you up and like saw. the show you did great yeah yeah yeah. yeah people were like that's awesome you. performed there cuz people love that. place we do yeah it is home to us and. what's get did you get some V that night. or what uh. no was that a yes no I just went and. just filmed like an outro and then went. home right slept now your friend unusual. guy. oh he's he's nice you're a nice guy I.
didn't say he's a nice guy yeah he was. very nice yeah yeah I'm just saying that. he was like a little like you okay yeah. yeah unique unique definitely yeah yeah. we need your help with something so Rudy. we made a joke on the show as we do. pretty heavily right and we made a joke. about these girls that Rudy used to hang. out with right and it was that it was. our fault but then they punished her by. ghosting her and becoming ex-friends. because of something we joked about oh. wow she needs help getting these friends. back in her life okay we've tried to.
apologize I don't I don't even know if. we did a good job I think so but I think. you can can you offer advice to her on. how to get these friends back in her. life did you already look into the. camera and say what you want to say to. them like a a like not a I guess they. don't need an apology but maybe just an. explanation right yeah no I sent like a. whole letter like a long letter to them. and they still never wellow maybe uh. they're not the right friends or if you. do want to still be friends with them. you can just say say it to the camera. well I mean here's here's the thing I.
think maybe it'd be great if you you. kind of told her what to say and then. she can say it like what to text yeah so. why don't you look in the why don't you. pretend like you're you're her and and. and then maybe she can just get. something from the way you you like just. rehearse it or something you know why. don't you look in the camera look in. this camera and go and go dear friends. or whatever hey guys I what they say I'm. not responsible for I just are am. friends with them or whatever and uh go. on their podcasts every week and stuff. and just I can't be held responsible for.
that kind of thing and let's just hang. out and let's ask for their friendship. back and can you just please come on and. hang out with me and here's why and. here's why I have a lot to offer I'm. very friendly um I we've had a lot of. fun times together and actually I might. even introduce you to them sometime and. y'all could discuss your differences and. uh I'd love to have y'all on the show. show to Hash it out and I'll tell you. what and I tell you what if you do that.
you're going to have a heck of a time um. because we maybe we'll go to Six Flags. afterward or we could even I or we can. even go uh to the bowling alley or party. and I could teach you oh sensitive word. yeah or how about listen or I could. teach you a new language like or I could. teach you the new language like any that. you want to know that I know and like. I'll give you an example of my.
English but the other one Spanish and. but here's a little sample. Ola yeah May Rudi uh KIRO to Y KIRO to. or me gusta to mea I like you um e m. Amigos yeah s Mal Mal Amigos. uh I also I know some Japanese and kichi.
yeah talog. talog my language oh okay T what is it. how do you say it Tagalog T Tagalog. talog Tagalog I I will teach you that. okay and let's hear some of. that just make it up. talog I love Tagalog T Tagalog yeah yeah. yeah and I think you will too what does. it sound like Tagalog yeah yeah like. Spanish. let's hear some of it dude um I don't.
uh all right that's a good letter I mean. did you did you grab anything from that. Rudy yeah I mean I feel like you learned. so I think you did it dude I think you. really did it dude Dax what what's what. what's going on in your personal life. you got any good news you got any. anything coming up any any what's going. on nothing I'm always just kind of. making videos and that's about it yeah.
which I like that I we love it I watch. them literally every week everything you. put up I watch I really enjoy it what do. what's your what's do you have any goals. in life that you're looking forward to. um well I guess I en enjoyed doing like. standup in front of a real crowd outside. of an open mic and then just maybe doing. more standup and maybe just more videos. uh. continuing like maybe dating stuff and. maybe oh yeah are you dating anybody now.
no not at all not even a little bit no. there's no prospects either no no is. there a way we do you have sexual urges. okay uh too much yeah yeah can I retract. yes yeah and then do you. yeah yeah yeah okay okay of course okay. is there a way we could help facilitate. maybe you meeting somebody uh not that I. know know of why we're good wingman. we're good wingman oh maybe giving me.
just advice we're good wingman oh like. going to a bar kind of thing yeah yeah. we can go to a bar we don't need to go. to a bar we there's a ton of places we. can go we can go to a bowling alley we. could go we go for a hike we can see we. can see babes on a hike and what would. you do to to get women to notice you if. you were on a hike and saw some well if. we saw a couple of girls we' say hello. do either of you know who we are and if. they said no we would move. on and no no no yeah I'd walk right away. and if I found a new group of and I say. hi do you know who we are and they go. yes we know bad friends I said fantastic.
like you to meet my this is what I would. do this is what I would do on a hike can. I may I yeah here's let me do you for on. a hike. guys guys okay go go. ahead go. [Laughter]. ahead you see [ __ ] don't throw up on the. show I'm about to do you almost made me. do it are you going to no all right so. anyway um you see a couple girls no what. I would do is I'd hide you off the trail. oh that's smart no yeah hiding on a. trail a hike trail that girls love that.
you're not I'm not done dude I know I go. up to a girl go oh my God my baby just. got attacked by a [ __ ] mountain. lion Carlos right smart and they're like. well yeah yeah the mountain lion's gone. but can you help where's the baby come. over here they follow me right and then. you're on the ground right like like is. if I'm your son yeah you are my son. you're my baby okay when your arms hurt. okay so do it like like yeah I go are. you okay baby I need help yeah but then.
once you say that I'm gone now it's just. you and the now it's you and me what. happened to you baby boy uh just fell. while hiking oh God do it hurt yeah do. you want me to kiss it Mountain Li oh. there was a mountain lion that knocked. me over there was a mountain lion that. did this to you y yep are you okay uh I. think I need help well do you want to. come back to my house and I have a I. have an ice pack at my house yeah for. sure you'd like to do that mhm you would.
now we're at the house hey lay down lay. down lay down you look her this is my. roommate hi I'm Sabrina she sings. Everything I sing everything she has to. she has a mental anyway I got to go to. work no don't go to work stay with here. with this baby that I found on the trail. oh I want to give him a blow job do you. want a [ __ ] uh uh I I'm interested in. uh or yes. yeah uh Mi signals wait a minute do you.
want to blow J for me or my roommate or. both of. us uh I don't know we think about it. think about it I got to go to work uh. who wants two more oh my God oh my God. me let's flip a coin okay okay. heads you won give him head here we. go can I watch um she loves to trick off.
well get. Bloods okay can I watch sure okay. cool oh my sorry she has to eat a meal. first before she gives you AOW job I'm. eating a breakfast burrito let me let me. can I just finish my breakfast she. always eats breakfast bros before she. gives head that's like her thing sausage. and the Sriracha will burn on your penis. her. lips okay all right she's ready now wait.
give me the orange juice here it is pull. out your penis. Dax vitamin C you need it before you get. some vitamin D here I go I do little. kisses on the thighs first I like to. announce everything I'm. doing oh. man what do you think bud I'm coming up. I'm coming up I'm coming up oh here she. comes do train Cho ch ch ch. ch.
ch I'm I'm by the little the the twin. mountains uh oh there they are here they. are the Rockies the rocky hairy. Mountain oh and I'm going up the the the. the mountain the main mountain ooh that. was steep well there's a white snow T oh. look snow snow cap snow cap. [Laughter]. do it feel good yes thanks yeah.
yeah if he said that I would stop yeah. you'd have to walk yeah yeah I think I. would be watch so pretty good right but. I guess we're going to do that we'll. take you on a hike and we'll try to get. girls that way okay does that sound good. yeah any girl that's out there our very. funny and attractive cool friend Dax is. open and available so send him a DM then. we'll see what you can get and would I. in that scenario would I you don't have. to do any of that you just going have. talk to him like people yeah maybe like. um maybe not talk so much okay yeah yeah. like always say yes so any anytime a.
girl goes can I give you. falatio don't don't hesitate and they'll. never say that word they won't they'll. never use the word FIA you'll never hear. that don't be listening for yeah yeah. yeah yeah they'll say anything like what. if I'm English can I give you falatia. yeah can I give at me your can I give. you f mate what what would they say then. can I suck your con oh yeah yeah yeah. can I give you a head yeah but just. don't deny it just go yes immediately.
you know what I mean yeah and then also. um anybody really if anybody asks if. fancy asks Mone yeah and if somebody. asks you it does it feel good what' you. say yes no maybe not just thumbs up. maybe how about this say oh yeah oh yeah. oh yeah say that ready does that feel. good oh. yeah honestly dude that's that's not you. got to try it again you got to do it. again be real D hey does that feel good. oh yeah no no you can't laugh at her.
like oh yeah that's all you would say. like the Kool like the Kool-Aid man oh. yeah yeah that's right Kool-Aid man okay. here we go ready oh yeah does that feel. good Dax oh yeah the. better do you like how that feels. mhm you're shy huh yeah yeah and you. know what they love you know what they. love when they pat him on the head so. say oh yeah and then Pat them Pat her on. the head does that feel good Pat the.
head oh. yeah yeah I'm interested see I mean I. love you Dax yeah yeah is Dax does Dax. make a noise you think what [ __ ] noises. no like a [ __ ] noise now ask him do you. make [ __ ] noises I don't know yeah yeah. you you don't know yeah yeah okay good. Bob does tell him what are you tell him. what your. noise what do you mean do your noise for. him all right make him feel.
comfortable is that really it not really. no you want to be real. yeah don't let dude I swear to hey dude. hey dude stop [ __ ] around right now. dude okay yeah it's really a serious I'm. being intimate right now and I'm being. real is you're laughing at my soul. you're cackling at him you're cackling. at me okay okay so just look at me.
yeah see you're doing it again dude. you're you're Dax Dax you got to watch. him you got to look at me. dud Dax Dax you're on a date you do it. you do it no I think I think you should. you're great finish with his his acting. is much better so go ahead go ahead. yeah yeah look at. [Laughter].
him don't look away don't yeah don't. look away D. oh Dax D you're ruining the moment yeah. anyway we love you so much bud when we. do when we do dates on the in in the. states we're going to probably bring you. on 100% some of these shows and we. should do a Dax dating show I think we. should yeah yeah would you like that or. no uh I could step out of my comfort. zone and try it I would love that yeah. I'd love to I want to find you here of.
all the jokes we make on this show yeah. I do would love to find you love cuz. you're a rad dude I think you deserve. somebody [ __ ] cool you're so [ __ ]. sweet and cool you're a sweet guy can we. I would love to find someone for you if. you'll let us help if you don't want our. help fine say [ __ ] you guys say that. right now say [ __ ] you guys uh I would. accept your help okay great I think we. should do it I think we should do it. we'll do a Dax dating show and by the. way if there's girls out there right now. that're like I would love to be at least. on a zoom to you know to hit up Carlos. in the booth at gmail.com that's going.
to get you uh submitt I think we should. take some middles right now Carlos in. the booth at gmail.com girls that want. to be on the Dax dating show we'll have. them back we either Zoom you in uh we'll. Zoom you in we'll Zoom you in or if you. live in Southern California maybe we'll. link you guys up somehow and then the. winner we're going to send to a very. nice dinner date that we'll pay for. we'll pay for a dinner we'll pay for a. night in a hotel whether you use it or. not okay we'll pay for car service we. you know what we'll do we'll even get. you a tux okay we'll get you all dressed.
up for the date does that sound good oh. yeah I think it's a good idea Tu seems. like a weird first date thing no that's. what all the cool guys do all the cool. guys do it that's what every cool guy. does yeah yeah you think we're cool we. do it we tux we tux it out we got a tux. what would be more impressive Rudy when. a guy shows up on a first date than a. tux I. mean normal clothes for you well for you. but you're not right for you're right. that's the point yeah you're basic. every every first date I've ever been on. I I tuxed up when you say car service do.
you mean limo yeah what do we think we. mean now when you say limo what do you. mean yeah what do you. mean limbo do you mean like a stretch. limousine yeah yeah when we see when we. say limo we mean white van yeah yeah. yeah yeah yeah that's what we mean okay. yeah it's a white a windowless van a. windowless van now when you say limo do. you think people still get stretch. limousines around. town uh I guess not really but don't. okay yeah no one does yeah I they. haven't made them in 36 years but I do. think we'll get you a town car okay how.
about that is that one of the like black. SUVs a town car is just a black sedan. okay cool but how about this do you want. us to get you a limo service for the. night a. stretch I'll get you a [ __ ] stretch. limousine a a prom prom yeah a prom one. I don't specifically no it sounds like. you want one he was a little demanding. he did say do I get a limo so that's. what you want the white long yeah oh the. black one what do you like long black. limo or long white LI or we can do like. a penguin thing where it's like.
purple oh fact you know what it would be. great if we dress you like the penguin. like the the cartoon version with the. with the top hat black tuxedo you mean. Cobble pot Cobble the Cobble pot purple. right we could be minions or you know to. we I'd love to do a minion thing can we. be. involved yeah will we open the door for. you and your date you me mean we have. you know I could be Harley Quinn I don't. know so yeah who do you think poison ivy.
poison ivy you I think I'll be Catwoman. Sandman Sandman Sandman that's not even. the thing no yeah doesn't matter you no. I know I need to know I'll be the. Riddler okay I'll really no you know. what I'll be Mr Freeze yeah be Mr Freeze. perfect be Mr Freeze well this sounds. good does this sound good to you Jules. you can be. Bane yeah yeah perfect it's perfect well. let's wrap up the show the the right way. uh Dax um if you have one and I think. you do can you end the show with a joke.
on camera a new joke that you've got a. new one yeah you can do an old one can I. pull out my phone 100% yeah I'd rather. you do that I mean I don't expect you to. memorize all that stuff but I'd love you. to end the show with a new joke I've. been getting fast food too much lately. you know what stop for a second I'm so. sorry I love your jokes right but I. think a better exercise is to just come. up with something improvised okay give. you a topic can I hear the premise. though at least I was actually okay go. ahead go ahead oh okay so whenever I go. through fast food places they they're. always like uh thanks so much you know.
enjoy your meal and then I say you too. but I'm the one eating the meal not them. it's that it's a Brian ran joke uhuh oh. I didn't know it was existed already I. didn't me it does let's Twerk It twerk. how about this how about this yeah. whenever I go to fast food restaurants a. lot of times on the drive-thru they'll. say Enjoy your meal you know how hard it. is for me to tell them it's you know how. hard it is for me to not tell them to go. [ __ ] themselves I think it's something. about let's hear that let's hear I have. one let's let's hear you say that ready.
uh I've been getting a fast food a lot. lately and every time I go through they. say Enjoy your meal you know how hard it. is for me to not tell them to [ __ ]. themselves perfect or something. arbitrary I think something arbitrary. and weird cuz he's a weird guy right so. it's like um enjoy your meal they say. and you go aloop GoPro Al up GoPro all. the way so try all the way Ali up GoPro. all the way so try that and the joke is. that that it's like just a funny random. thing no it'll make sense when you say. it make sense when you say it yeah yeah. I've been getting fast food way too much.
lately every time I go they're like. enjoy your meal and I say l GoPro all. the. way beep beep beep beep beep. yeah yeah do it again with the be beep. again thank you and do it try to do the. best English accent you can Al GoPro all. the way beep beep it's got to be British. it's got to be British yeah yeah I've. been getting fast food way too much. lately every time I go through the. drive-thru though they're like enjoy. your meal and I say I'll you GoPro all. the way beep. beep and we wrote a joke we just wrote a.
joke and that's very good all right. let's hear the other one that's not a. premise oh that was the one that was not. a premise oh uh and oh yeah that was my. fault premise would be like uh like I. think my phone is listening to me and. then something funny or like something. about red flags or some something or so. I think my phone is listening to me yeah. and from what I know they're made in. China. yeah so I know they can't see. me and what does that mean if these.
phones are really made in China yeah. they can't how come the front-facing. camera lens is very. round. yeah that's very good I now I see where. you're going right correct yeah yeah and. uh we're riffing here by the way yeah. we're we're just riffing right right I. think my phone is listening to me boy I. hope it. doesn't I hope it doesn't hear me when. I'm. when I'm what [ __ ] myself [ __ ]. myself let's hear you say that yeah I I.
think my phone is listening to me I hope. it doesn't hear me when I'm [ __ ]. myself yeah it doesn't sound right it. doesn't sound right because I think. you're rushing the punch you're rushing. The Punch Yeah and um how about this you. know I think my phone is listening to me. thank God it's not watching me because. when I'm looking at it I'm usually. jerking on my. dingdong can you say that be beep beep. beep be beep has to be there got. yeah it's got to be it's got to be there. I think my phone is listening to me. thank God it's not watching me because. when I'm looking at it I'm usually.
jerking on my dingdong. be every time I'm looking at my phone I. think my phone's listening to me okay I. I think my phone's listening to me wait. I think my phone's listening to me. thanks thank God it's not watching me MH. I think my phone's listening to me thank. God it's not watching me because every. time I'm looking at it I'm usually just. look jacking off jerking on my ding-dong. beep beep. exactly that was perfect perfect dude. that was perfect dud I think we got a. new joke yeah so write that down every.
time I'm looking at it I'm jerking off. my dingdong beep beep yeah by the way go. all the way series if you do a series of. jokes that end with beep beep it will. [ __ ] yeah beep beep is your is your. calling like a catchphrase catchphrase. yeah yeah yeah beep beep is your catch. yeah well uh Dax will you look in that. camera and say thanks for being a bad. friend thanks for being a bad friend. right love you dude.
wo. wo. woo wo. [Music].
