Bobby's Baby Powder | Ep 255 | Bad Friends

hey hey guys you guys love loved ones. loving loved ones is important and. Valentine's good Valentine's Day is next. week and I'll be in Boston if you're not. there four shows at the at the. big they're doing four shows bring your. loved ones yeah come out Boston come see. me February 14th and 15th and then the. week after that in Minneapolis Minnesota. I'm doing four shows I'm filming my. special please come out and see it uh my. Hulu special will be taped in the. Beloved Minneapolis Minnesota go to. Andrew Santino docomo tickets Andrew. Santino docomo are bad friends who are.

these two idiots a white dude and an. Asian dude you two are. disgusting you two or something we're. bad friends oh look at this this is. great news Sesame Street welcomes TJ The. First Filipino American. Muppet finally finally dude dude. finally finally dude. yeah what do the comments say anything. rude we made it we made it he's studying. to be a nurse right somebody said that.

yeah that's so really funny Sesame. Street welcomes first nurse nurse puppet. here's what I don't get and may may can. I can I ask you a question yeah about. Sesame Street yeah is there a Chinese. one y what Elmo yeah no Elmo. Chinese Elmo. Chinese who me me I'm Chinese I'm. Chinese yeah you know look I can tell. you what everybody is just based on it. that's oh yeah all right okay let's go.

that's Ernie right that's yeah that's no. specific Ernie is 100% he's Puerto Rican. Ernie is obviously Puerto Rican oh yeah. Ernie Ernie he's okay all right oh is. this the first uh which one's the. Muppet which one's the Muppet Asian. Muppet her name is G young that that is. not an Asian Muppet that's not ASI. that's not on the show on the show that. is on the show that is on the show but. also that's not not an Asian a little. Micha she's Korean she's Korean that. girl looks Spanish that looks like a.

Spanish Muppet yeah they didn't want to. M you know you know what it is you know. at Jim Henson's you know Factory. wherever yeah you know the eye. drawer you got to go back to the eye. drawer you know the drawer they use. there's our dogs there we are here we go. this is the OG there the OG crew okay so. let's see first up first up is Bert. what's Bert Bert Bert's gay yeah I know. Bert's gay but what he he looks um. Eastern European he Slovak Slovakian. yeah I agree just the eyebrows and then.

what about Cookie Monster Cookie Monster. is Armenian he is is he not yeah broo. eat your. [Laughter]. cookie yeah arm medium for sure he. drives a white Mercedes what about. Grover down in the lefthand corner who. I've never let me think about. Grover yeah yeah autism yes he's. autistic okay autism right what but. what's his nationality what is well no. no what's his race race I mean yeah what. is Grover's race we think I I would.

imagine Spanish. fancy exactly dude exactly that's what. they like when they callon eyes there. was a million of those. yesy we're going to take a your. country imagine on the beach we're going. to colonize your women yeah go back to. the original picture yeah this is the. most interesting one that I want your. advice on because I know you're. intelligent and the way that you operate. is so astute you can always call it out.

I want to see the picture of the crew. okay of all the crew the the original. Muppet gang okay I got to tell you okay. here we go who is well he's not even in. this I was G to say where Big Bird what. is Big Bird Big Bird what is Big Bird. Big Bird's a bird no dude what okay race. is Big Bird I think he might be black is. it a guy Big Bird yeah yeah who knows. right they kind of keep it okay oh what. about uh Grover we did Grover not Grover. what's the what's the brown guy uh the.

dog to the pop fzy fuzzy fuzzy no not. the right to the left oh oh uh the dog. is. uhg what is his name dude yeah right. there Ral Ralph Ralph yeah Ralph I mean. we know what Ralph is we don't even know. what we don't even need to know what he. go ahead man no you go ahead man no you. go ahead man I don't know I'm confused I. don't know I'm lost you said you know. what it is I mean he looks um like an. adopted black. kid yeah yeah by a white family yeah the.

white family look at the way he's doing. his hair. now he wants to fit into the family. right so he got him got straightened. that's not fair yeah you're right go. back look at him what about fzy bear see. fzy plays Jazz yeah f is dope he's cool. as [ __ ] he's black yeah and what's the. woman uh what about Miss Piggy oh uh oh. well I mean who is Miss Piggy you think. what race would Miss Piggy be I mean if. you were talking about anyone trans.

that's I think Miss Piggy Miss Piggy's. trans it's got to be trans you think so. yeah yeah and so Kermit yeah yeah ker. ker doesn't have he's like asexual I. think he is an a yeah he's an incel. honestly dude the mind of a man to come. up with a world of. Muppets. exactly here's another thing the mind of. the people that how do you write a kid a. song for Sesame Street you and I can do. one right now no you can't yeah we can.

mathematics twice you're already on. it that's the that's the number two. press the record right now yeah yeah. mathematics three times right that's the. number three okay how about this yeah go. ready. yeah I I want to I'm I'm a producer and. you're a writer yeah listen dude we need. to um write a song kids don't know about. vegetables dude that's right.

that's right dude that Rider like being. confused and kind of scared it's funny. that's. right and we need Pronto dude so we all. the vegetables as many vegetables as you. can and no fruits. got that Rider got it you got it yeah. got it we need in 20 20 days minutes. minutes you need it right now yeah yeah. yeah we do really yeah okay and you're. that little Asian writer that you have. that I don't know yeah yeah or Mr Li Mr. L my assistant he's your assistant can.

you maybe he can help fine yeah I have. to get him off he's at s stor right now. working but I can okay yeah. yeah what what is it we have we have a. line at the store I know dude they can. wait oh my God I got something way more. important is it we need to write a song. about vegetables now you need to we need. to you don't pay me you owe me you never. made me the scent oh that's right that's. right all right so make it up ready I. need. the what is it. aboutabl celery.

asparagus and spin it down your hatch. broccoli broccoli broccoli stop stop. stop stop for a second broccoli stop. stop stop what um if we just do one. vegetable like per phrase well dude I'm. trying to spr be it'll be the longest. song pot is it a fruit or a. vegetable mushrooms mushrooms.

what um okay we're two different kinds. of artists dude do you have the song. we're ready to. go yep yeah yeah we're ready bye L Li um. yeah okay here we go you ready sir well. we're we're going to play it live on the. show what yeah yeah yeah yeah great yeah. and what what Muppet are we going to use. for this please say Big Bird please say. big bir the new one oh oh the Puerto. Rican one yeah the Puerto Rican one yeah. [ __ ] the Filipino the Filipino Pongo. Pongo yeah okay head up hi Pongo do you.

have the song for me Pongo do you know. your. vegetables but you supposed to okay I'll. read the lyrics mushrooms mushrooms. mushrooms that's it cut that's that's. all you got D that's all we got you gave. me 20. minutes uh was that Ellen John on it. yeah everyone's been we should have been. on Sesame Street yeah look at his little. perv how about this one pervy smile yeah.

if you see a man in a van don't get. in if you see a man in a van don't get. in but if you do get in know your karate. and. Tew but you're little so he's going to. get you any.

the sprays. ready and the whistle. blow try to escape if you. can and. you and when you escape the you run and. there's 12 of them Chas n a. r brown but no.

race specifically no specific race but. Brown and they have. accent but nothing. specific but they're. notal no specific race they're not. illegal they're here is totally. legally they're not Asylum.

refugees call us Sesame Street call us. we I figured we could make a song for. these guys I I got to be honest with you. dude this new cologne that you got on is. so good it's driving me nuts it's. getting I'm getting me horny are you. being real I'm horny from it cuz cuz I. go to the scent room it's so I'm so can. I take it to the scent room I'm no I'm I. I don't I keep it a secret from me I'm. I'm like you're not I'm your little. mistress no no you you got to come with. the Cent room I'll buy you a cologne. it's not about that yeah it is what I. like to do my my friend yeah is I like.

to take a friend usually a woman me yeah. yeah I'll dress up for you and we'll get. to the scent room it's on Larchmont. right and then they have clones and. perfumes that aren't widely. available okay I'm going I mean real I'm. going I'm going to go so I and I give. them a smell like I have this one I. forgot what was called but it's it. smells like cow poo oh yes no no be no. be real yo M it's not called M it's not. M yeah yeah I think it is m japanesee. yeah but when you spread on your body it.

changes the chemistry of it right yeah. it does you guys are laughing it does. and you smell like sheep poop right yeah. it smells like sheep poop after that no. but um it does smell like a barn right. so I I so I'll go I'll go in there and. I'll go so today I'm feeling like um. like okay think of Nirvana whoa or the. enlightenment both yeah both dude both. both niras right right and they go what.

is it I go the band they go we don't. know cuz they're younger oh they're kids. right right so they think um Taylor. Swift same kind of thing same audience. yeah yeah and then um think Nirvana the. enlightenment right then also think. about um hiking o and also thinking. think about right [ __ ] fights oh. yeah not the penis no no no I explain it. to him [ __ ] fight birds not penises. fighting but the birds fighting F mhm.

but also penis is fighting that too yeah. right you can even say that yeah and. then go we'll be right back wow and they. don't come back for. hours you're just standing there in the. store. right right and they come out and they. go maybe something else and I go I go no. Nirvana [ __ ] fights Nirvana hiking [ __ ]. fights right you mean the two [ __ ] two. [ __ ] fights two [ __ ] different kinds of. [ __ ] fights we'll be right back another.

hour passes right and then go here we go. and this is it no this not the one I'm. wearing now that's not the [ __ ] fight no. no no but that's what I'm saying you and. I can go in there like what do you want. to smell like oh okay hoodie and the. Blowfish well I'm the guy welcome to the. scent room hi I'm deat TR hi deit try. yeah and uh L deit try Li yes wonderful. to meet you call me Mr L okay Mr L yeah. what hi hi what you doing I'm here to. buy a scent what were you thinking ooh.

I'm thinking like what my vibe is right. now I think well not now okay went for. another time in the. future let's say 10 years from now got. it right cuz I know what you're going to. be doing 10 years from now you do oh. yeah really and it you're gonna does it. look a little bit like. this no it doesn't. no oh I'm in a tomb you're in a tomb dud. you're a mummy I'm a mummy yes mummy dog. you don't know okay my buddy came here. Bobby Lee do you know Bobby Lee oh it's.

like my best friend yeah the one that we. you mean the cow poop guy if you're. going to try to insult my friend while. he's not here I'm going to have to fight. youself well it was very hard to [ __ ]. bottle the cowo we had to drive all the. way to well then why don't you work. somewhere else we got we did it I'm. sorry sir yeah he wanted what he wanted. you got what he exactly so what would. you like sir thank you yeah he told me. Bobby said it's a band an activity and. an animal thing exactly that's right. right so let me get my chart out get it. out the first thing please the band. baned.

yes you ready I have my pen and my paper. sir go to Sephora if this is the kind of. energy I just came from there they sent. me to you all right they ran out I'm. going to kick you I'm going to kick you. out to Sephora the next time you give me. a little [ __ ] bite all right that. what I don't like that I said all right. I'm Mr L I know Mr treat you with. respect sir yeah what's my first name. Ticky Ticky Tempo no my treyy deatria Li.

Li Li all right sir so here we go I got. the chart out I have my pen all right. and I'm ready and the band Quick Silver. Quick Silver Quick Silver okay mhm it. now we have two quick silver just I just. want to right we also have um the. Avenger yeah give me a little bit of so. is we also have the actual mineral. Quicksilver as well I'll take a little. bit of all okay so all three Quicksilver. that's all we got okay so and then the. second thing please the activity.

activity please space docking space. docking now we don't have space we have. moon landing now what is that oh yeah I. know he brought it back mhm Armstrong. dead God bless he brought it back from. the Moon in the 60s if the moon landing. was a sexual phrase what is a moon. landing excuse me well you know what. space docking is right sir it's when one. p is uncircumcised and one circumcised. and the uncircumcised sleeve covers up. the circumcision yeah of course that's. of course what is a moon landing in.

sexual terms moon landing is when um a. woman or a man lays on his stomach right. and you get baking powder yeah right and. you pour baking pow powder all over his. back oh then you got to get your moon. shoes on right got it you got to get the. thick ass Moon shoes on the big boots. the big boots and I have one from actual. NASA you do yeah when I do my moon. landings I have one from N I stole it. you jacked it from NASA yeah I only have. one boot okay they're heavy yeah I mean. and try to get that boot across that.

fence right is that a trump thing. exactly a border boot it's it's a border. boot ah yeah you don't know NASA's in. Mexico one NASA's in Mexico I don't know. if you know that so anyway so I put the. one boot on right I put the baby baby. powder and I do the moon walking on. that's a moonwalk that's a moonwalk yeah. I had this vision of you seen the. Rockets when they have to control land. them yeah of like someone with their. legs above their head butt in the air. and then a. penis oh you do that wow and you know.

this is a uh cologne perfume store can. we just can we move on thank you I don't. know what we're doing quick so yeah so. we got the um the Avenger the band would. would you like the moon walking 100% so. we put Moon walking the smell okay hey. LIE there's another guy named lie you're. Mr Li and his name is lie his first name. is lie his first name's lie can I be. honest with you this sounds like a lie. it's not and ironically his last name is. my try.

oh it's reversed I get it so anyway so. and the third thing please oh Li um get. the baking powder ready okay so go ahead. okay. yeah okay imagine he he does he know. what you're talking about you just. yelled get the baking powder ready yeah. Moon oh he knows that that's signal for. Moon yeah exactly got it so you have my. band my element my Avenger quick silver. all three get all three lie and then we. also have um Moon walking lie listen.

okay and then the third thing please and. the third thing is a what it's an animal. event it's an animal event it can be a. variety of things okay you mean it could. be a lion the tiger you. falor excuse me falor from Never Ending. Story falor we don't have falor I am so. sorry we have. cherub you like cherubs you seriously. don't have falor we don't have falor no. he died ining the movie what yes it's a. little known fact but falor actually Di. died you know how Brandon Lee dieded bro.

yeah the fake the bullet right right. Falco died oh do you remember you know. what I mean the Bal Alec Baldwin event. same thing yeah unfortunately you know. what I mean it happened again yeah a a. dummy gun and there's no guns in which. what's crazy in Never Ending Story there. is no guns in the movie there should. have been I exactly but there was one. that shot falor anyway he died and. lawsuit's still pending take chair I'll. take a chair I got to go okay well it. takes well to get the chair up though.

because we have to actually go buddy can. you to Middle Earth honestly can you. hurry up I S sir no I'm serious you. think this cherubs here in La I it's. your store I don't know what you have. back there perol Hilton had one years. ago died Michael Jackson had one right. but you know who ate it his monkey. bubbles bubbles ate the Cherub wow yes. and it that was a mess because that was. my previous job okay cleaning up. massacres on never ending never never-. ending rant or whatever it's called.

NeverEnding. rant falor flew to never- ending rant. yes that's how he died yeah that's how. he died you're going to sleep over. forever. yeah yeah yeah yeah so would you like it. yes sit on our futon I'm on it I know I. know I know you aren't but I don't think. you're comfortable I'm very comfortable. it's going to take hours I'm here okay. I'm going to call my friend Bobby in the. meantime hold on a second okay yeah I'm. sorry to get to also what's the price of.

this [ __ ] you'll see to get to Middle. Earth you're going to check this. out. Pegasus Pegasus. yes yes you have to go to Middle Earth. again to get a cherub [ __ ] you whoa whoa. Pegasus [ __ ] whoa you. shut you're the one that killed falor. I'm Alec Baldwin oh.

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code is bad. friends wow let me tell you you taking. me to the sent store I'm dead serious. we're going yeah we're going I literally. went to Larchmont yesterday yeah have. you been to the Cent room no I went down. there and I ran into our good buddy Andy. RoR love him you know the last thing he. said to me what he say my hand to God. tell Bobby I said hello no yeah he loves. you Andy Andy Richard's like one of the. coolest nicest funniest dudes I've ever. met in my entire life smart my hand to. the devil just let me see it my my hand. to the devil God bless okay who's Andy.

RoR are you serious no I'm going back to. my old self I'm going to the self that I. was I know who Andy is I love him from. 30 minutes ago and I'm going to change. that all right I'm going to shift G wait. a minute show up that let bring that. picture again yeah oh that's Andy Rick. that's not who I'm talking about what. are you think of no I'm just pering your. joke so you bought a shirt there no I. went down there to kill some time I. bought a shirt and I saw how much the. neighborhood had. changed uh it's so fun it's it's a great. let's do um a little game called um down. Larchmont Lane down Larchmont Boulevard.

Boulevard okay so a lot of people. listening from all over the world you. going to puke I just had an OIC burp god. dude I just had an OIC burp when I see. it start I I know you get scared I know. PTSD I know I'm fine okay okay so a lot. of people from around the world um if um. you're in Los Angeles there's a street. called largemont and um it's a great um. neighborhood can we say yeah yeah it's. very Midwestern actually in many ways it.

feels like everywhere and nowhere at. once exactly yeah yeah it can be. anywhere yeah it's like never ending. Ranch never- ending Ranch yeah yeah so. let's go down Larchmont Lane that's Eric. Griffin's dream all you can eat ranch. dressing he does it with a straw a Bobba. straw imagine Eric americ Eric got. kicked out of a buffet and they were. like he's like it's all you can eat and. they're like no not all you can. eat yeah yeah yeah all right you ate a.

chair stop all right so anyway um. largemont Boulevard so let's go let's. cuz you you recently there you were. there yesterday yeah so let's you want. to grade our little stores down there. let's let's do it all right so there's a. Right Aid uh out of what are we doing. what are we doing out of 10 yeah let's. go to one through 10 yeah no one through. five is easier one through five yeah. there's a Right Aid all right it gets a. it gets a four for Supply because. there's always something in there but it. gets a two for the fentanyl front door. exactly you have to like Duck and Dodge.

couple of fentel yes very good that. should be in there dou rating yeah. there's a salt and straw salt and straw. as I was just about to say you say salt. and straw I want to hear your rating for. salt and straw you know I think it's. hype I agree do you really van Luen is. way better and so is uh I I prefer. basket Robins now you're wrong no I'm. not now you're absolutely I'm not what. happened to the good old rocky road baby. it's not Rocky and cream B but PE bab.

first of all McConnell's out of Santa. Barbara phenomenal and Van Luan both. better than Salt and STW by a land it's. not even close also don't put goat. cheese in ice cream I don't want that. yeah yeah and fennel I don't why that. okay I might all right what do you grade. the salt and straw number-wise out of. five wait are we comparing that salt and. straw with all the other salt and straws. in general it's a broad spectrum I mean. it's like we can be it's the best salt. and straw in the business the one on. Larchmont but compared to other ice. cream. businesses one one through five a three. it's still good okay yeah yeah then next.

door to that is asop the the the uh oh. dud it's like lotions and dude dude dude. let me tell you about asop give it to me. five out of five really any asop all of. them dude why do you like them so much. cuz that's all I have in my house they. do give free samples outside no I buy it. you really yeah yeah I've never bought. it once body body the body um wash I go. inside I get what I need and I go home I. come little I come with little fill up. things and never paid for it God how. about the uh how about the uh the.

children's uh bookstore there five out. of five five out of five five out of. five when I drop off my nephew your NE. your nephew yeah he's 24 but he's no my. point also and then there's also a um. there's a pet store across the. street Tail Waggers Tail Waggers is. right there yeah yeah and I like Tail. Waggers it's fine they have my number in. the thing me too unfortunately why. because when we used to have the dog. over we used to have dog dogs at the dog. where do you go now for your dog stuff I. call my cousin. oh and I said come to the house and.

watch the dog because last time we put. her in one of those places like healthy. spot yeah she bit three dogs oh she did. she bit their face I I was asking like. where do you buy your supplies but. you're saying grooming now no no I. thought you me I was saying daycare like. to sit the dog if we're going if we oh. so they used to go to Tail Waggers for. get daycare long time ago oh wow she any. other dogs I have my Vietnamese friend. do it and he salivates yeah just sits. there and drools mouth gets so watery. it's a it's a discipline for him but.

anyway no we had to switch no she didn't. bite any other dogs I was kidding she uh. hated it my dog [ __ ] hated it they'd. be like oh Cubs just goes in the corner. and sits by herself oh don't you hate. when that happens I think she gets. intimidated by other stranger dogs and. so she was like [ __ ] this I'm just gonna. and she just goes sits by herself what. are you going to do when he dies she. dies oh my God brutal brutal brutal. tears of sadness for. sure long cries long cries long. cries anyway let's move on um I'm going.

to have her. cloned I've looked into the cloning I'm. going to do it you know because you know. what let me tell you something FR let's. do it I'm going to I want to clone it. yeah yeah I want to clone it cuz you. can't yeah go ahead 50 Grand never mind. we'll get a new. dog also also did you get your dog back. it's not your dog it is your dog it's. not the same when you clone yes it is. it's your dog from toe to top no but the. but the soul is there from nose to toe I. don't whatever but the soul is not the.

same it's not going to have the same. personality it's not going to have the. same it's going to be so similar though. it's not going to know my songs oh it's. not going to have all my songs all I'm. your dog what song Sing Me song the. first song I sing when I get in the. house I go sweetie sweetie who's my. little sweetie oh hey hey hey hey hey. hey hey and then I pick her up and then. she goes oh yeah who's my little sweetie. yeah give me your song I don't I just to. do talk you just full talk maybe do do.

you do you do oh. right. right and they. go cuz I'm holding it maybe too tight. yeah too tight yeah. yeah you mean but no I love my it be. funny to talk to your dogs just like a. human like you walk in you're like. what's going on man how have you been. right but not giving it any like the. inflection of. like imagine if you can give them some. intelligence. your dog smart no but like to the.

speaking so they can speak oh like what. could they understand like that you give. them you know an 8-year-old's. intelligence a little bit more a 15y old. 15 14 15 is pretty good no he's going to. [ __ ] off Dad that's why it's F yeah I. don't want that yeah no I want that all. right my dog's pretty smart dude she. made smoking in the in in the room yeah. yeah no okay go back to Larchmont lar so. so I'm I'm I'm not done um there's um. here's another thing they have a pokey. place and can I tell you about Pokey not.

into it I'm out dude why okay why why. are you out of Pokey I'll tell you why. I'm on a pokey be okay two reasons yeah. one fast food Sushi has never been my I. like it I like sushi that they I'm at. the sushi joint he cuts the fish I eat. it I don't want it's been cut five hours. ago in the morning sits in the cooler. then it gets slopped in a bowl with. Sriracha mayo not a fan I'm not a fan as. that as as well my I just want fresh I. want fresh cut [ __ ] dude yeah dude yeah.

yeah that's why I've never done like. sushi in one of those like rotary T. what's it called timeout but in Japan. those are [ __ ] awesome because they. do cut it fresh and they put it on there. and it can only go around so many times. yeah but in North Hollywood it's on. there for three days three days yeah. yeah. yeah yeah the Salmon's or green I don't. like it you're like dude in North Ridge. it'll rotate for a month and they'll. take exactly so anyway so I don't I well. don't like it Pokey out for me I hate.

going to Hawaii too because like kalila. and everyone's always they love let's go. to the Pokey I go no thanks I'm not. going to no [ __ ] Pokey man just go to. a sushi joint I'm going to go to my. alasa Sushi Joint where he slices it. right in front of my [ __ ] eyes anyway. let's move on there's a doughnut place. called holy Grill donut yeah have you. had it I have now this is where I. regress because you bask and Robins the. ice cream thing whether or not you were. joking I think shitty Donuts are better. than fancy Donuts this whole new fancy. donut thing can [ __ ] off oh man we are.

in a trouble right now my friend give me. Dunkin' donuts over fancy Donuts all. [ __ ] day dude you have no idea Dunkin. Donuts munchkins the little munchkins. the donut. holes no that's how you [ __ ] dude that's. so gross no yeah no this is how I [ __ ]. yeah. yeah. yeah um dude fancy donut [ __ ] off it. sucks Holy Grail does this it's good no. you never had it that I have because if. you had ridiculous things wouldn't come.

out of your [ __ ] mouth like that it's. too much it's what voodo Donuts does too. it's like we put all the [ __ ] on no. no not voodoo I didn't say Voodoo dude. it's the same. [ __ ] is is Duncan warm let's get to the. [ __ ] no it's not it's never warm yes it. is no it's not yes it is yeah I go to. dunk all the time I'm a dunk dog dude. okay anyway bring up holy Grill picture. of their [ __ ] website they look this. whole fancy doughnut thing for like. eight bucks a dut that ain't it my guy. that ain't it okay let's go to look at.

the donut I'll give you one better than. them by the way you know who you know. who tops them who the one uh you don't. even know the name that's how sad it is. no I do I do I do I do is phuts I'll. take a phut over these oh you like phuts. okay now let's zoom into the what they. have here that one says cancer no it's. so you get cancer when you eat it yeah. only colon oh that's easy only colon. that's very very literal you would from. this stuff yeah um oh Chach chai yeah. look at Virgo come on guy Black Sabbath. imagine how mad Azie would be if you saw.

that donut my band is. not shitty Donuts yeah anyway uh let's. move on from it no no no let's keep. going give me the go to their website. give me the price of these [ __ ]. [ __ ] Donuts they're also small yeah. they're no I love them give me the. prices what what does this cost to get. they're probably not going to show you. what are you shaking your head for you. never had one before four four bucks a. donut aren't that good what it's too. much [ __ ] on it too much. shitali for a donut $4 a donut that's. good brother if I go to [ __ ] donut.

girl the lady by my by my it's cheap. that's why it's 65 cents for a donut. it's cheap cheap ingredients what do you. think they're using good [ __ ] from. Hawaii the [ __ ] they are yeah dude roots. and stuff look up from Hawaii look up. Holy Grail Donuts controversy just type. that in why just look it up there is no. oh the main controversy surrounding Holy. Grail Donuts is that some customers. claim the taste and quality of their. donuts particularly the tarot based ones. are significantly better when purchased. directly in Hawaii compared to locations. here in the mainland they're using.

[ __ ] here not shipping the good [ __ ]. here dude you're it's like saying this. gu they're not shipping the good [ __ ]. here pal it's like this gold isn't is. better in Hawaii than it's tarot dude is. is gold better in Hawaii it is it is. proving my point right you're right it. is here's the deal okay there's only. certain Supply chains that can get it. right all over the globe McDonald's it's. a home run it's a home run places like. this they're just they don't have the. infrastructure also you're really. pissing me off right thank you yeah yeah. yeah thank you what about Crispy Cream. what's your opinion on Crispy Cream.

better than better than Holy Grail no. better than uh. dun yes okay good but let me tell you. something about now we're on Earth but. let me tell you something about crispy. now we're on planet Earth let me tell. you about crispy game the only dut you. can have there is the original glaze and. that's what I was talking about yeah but. they do other [ __ ] but Duncan do does. other [ __ ] and Crispy Cream can't do. that yeah because the chocolate glaz. ones of Crispy Cream kick [ __ ] rocks. the chocolate glaz of Dunkin'.

Donuts okay we should do this okay and. but I already know okay we should do. have a doughnut taste but I already know. right that it's there's such a. difference between a good doughnut and. garbage donut he's going to pick the. garbage one every time that's not true. to to defend his own point of view right. so we can't even have that contest cuz. this piece of [ __ ] right it needs to win. rather than accept that he's wrong. sounds familiar doesn't it no yeah CU. I'm doing my Bobby Lee today and I'm on. it I'm playing Bobby Lee today wow dude.

you're you want to go go blows or what. yeah B go blow no let's go down can we. go down to Larchmont lane or no let's go. dude let's continue back on Larchmont. Lane make us a shirt that says bad. friends on Larchmont Lane okay there now. there's a couple of um so there's the. scent room next to Holy Grail but. there's another one that's a cologne. it's very it's a chain I forgot what. it's was called oh it's labo is there. right not labo it's another one di. what's your opinion of dipti love the. candles love a dipti candle made here in. the states I like the dipti uh candles I.

like them they're good I don't I don't. it's you know they're 80 bucks a candle. a girl there ghosted me I'm out really. yeah call them right now I'm going to. call him no I'm going to call him give. me the dip te on Larch man I'm going to. call her right now no she doesn't work. there anymore what's her name we BL yeah. that was your date spot a candle shop no. bro she works there you. [ __ ] how did she goes you if she. works there if you don't do I was.

kidding I'm lying so am I don't call. it's a bit but don't call them why. because I'm not going to say your name. or anything okay you really Jesus. [ __ ] Christ can I just do a bit. okay I'm calling him but don't say my. name what was your first name lii what. was your first name Mr lii did I. try I just want to give you just a. little uh something I want to say is my. good friend Deitra laac uh was seeing.

someone that was working at your store. and um or starting a date and she. ghosted him and I just was calling to. try to repair the. relationship is is does still work. there I'm sorry yes no she has not. worked here for over a year well I can. tell you something she kind of did a. number on a buddy of mine and I'm just. uh I don't know what kind of person she. was personally but I just wanted to tell. her myself give her my two cents how we. do it where I'm from is that's not.

that's not nice and that's not okay and. I'm glad that she's not there anymore. I'll tell you I would hope and pray she. got. fired I am sorry to hear that I have no. opinion of her I joined around the time. she left great great well have a. wonderful wonderful day you as well bye. bye. bye handled your business dude why'd you. get so nervous and left the [ __ ] I hate. prank call it's not a prank yeah yeah. that's not a prank I did not a prank it. was there was a girl there he had no.

opinion of her he said I wasn't being. mean here's my thing I don't like prank. calls either I'm not being mean to him. yeah I'm being mean about a character of. a person that doesn't exist so I'm not. pranking him I'm just telling him my. tale and my tale is something else and. by the way if you're going to prank call. at home call somewhere but make up a. story that does it's not mean or rude to. them I'm just giving him a piece of my. little fantasy laugh mhm do you know. what I mean yeah yeah just talk to him. um okay go down Larchmont Avenue now so.

now so we went to. dipti okay and then Cent room okay. there's a card store there's like a. paper source or something like that yeah. yeah which we like yeah it's fine we. could just bring up the Google Maps that. new bakery is pretty good oh no la le. yeah leevan best baker in town very good. I had that the other day with the CH the. Asians with the Chinese yeah no with. me Jean yeah we went to um that Bakery. is the best they have the best cookies. in town we love Andrea Jen she's the.

best okay zoom into there and here's my. biggest beef about this whole thing okay. so at the very end of the block there go. down south you're there right there at. that last intersection which street is. that first first first a First Street. and here's my biggest beef about this. whole thing okay so at the very end of. the block there go down south you're. there right there at that last. intersection which street is that first. first first a first street so right. there's a Chase Bank on the corner MH. right now there's a Buck Mason right. there you see it says Buck Mason. clothing store yeah that used to be. Larchmont Village um Larchmont uh bakery.

or whatever Larchmont CA U Cafe the. Larchmont Cafe it was one of the best. coffee and breakfast joints and do you. know why they never even heard of it oh. it was incred so good it's an Echo Park. now they moved I know but do you know. why they got kicked off the. street 1800 flow.com Valentine's Day is. coming up and for me there's only one. place I trust 1 1800flowers.com it's the. only place that I've ever used man every. year I stunning high quality bouquet. from 1800flowers.com that my wifey.

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was the neighborhood someone there's a. [ __ ] snitch rat in the neighborhood. and because they were operating whatever. hours of the day these people that cuz. right behind them are houses right right. was they open late they they were open. probably later than the normal place. would be yeah and they were mad so then. someone in the [ __ ] neighborhood. found out they weren't registered to. have this certain code of restaurant or. whatever to like make coffee and sell.

food and and alcohol or whatever wow and. they got that place [ __ ] closed down. after like 20 some odd years ago do we. know this person's name no I don't know. who did it but I'm telling you if I find. out cuz you took that away from me cuz I. used to have coffee there in the morning. and right in the corner one of my. favorite places to get a cup of coffee. they brewed it there they had the. [ __ ] coffee vat things there with the. beans my God they're that big they're. this big I had no idea they were that. big show him with the bean oh my God. show him a bean machine I always thought. they were this big that's what I call my.

wife's vagina the bean machine yeah show. him the bean machine coffee bean uh. roasting machine there it is coffee bean. roasting machine roasting machine there. it is that's not. it it's the big vet with the beans there. it is oh my God tell me that's not as. big as the arm so big dude at that's the. [ __ ] yeah and that's what it makees the. beans nice to make me poop yeah by the. way I've realized after like 41 years on.

this planet I don't think I've pooped. without coffee in 20 some odd years no I. don't think so wow I if I don't have. coffee I'm not. pooping wow yeah me too I think I have. to I have to I I need coffee so bad like. I feel I'm serious if I'm on the road. and I didn't grab a cup of coffee it'll. be like 2 or 3 p.m. and I'm like I. haven't pooped yeah um quick trivia go. what's older the Eiffel Tower or. Nintendo. Nintendo oddly enough Nintendo yes yeah.

how' you know cuz n did you know that. yeah Nintendo was started when Jack the. Ripper was still uh. operating. dude dude that kid at school dude dude. you know that kid you know that kid in. school annoying the most annoying kid in. school God yeah yeah yeah well did you. guys know did you know this yeah when. Jack the rippo was still. operating you mean murdering yeah.

operating is the weirdest word for a. murderer I working I don't know what to. say working working no he's not getting. paid that's why I said operating yeah. yeah killing. people wow yes give me more trivia I. like that's the only one I know well get. another one yeah yeah that is that is. it's an interesting thing have you been. to the Eiffel Tower I have and rank it. out of five out of all the towers I've. been to yeah yeah two right behind the. twin yeah yeah no honestly rank it out.

of five two for real out of out of oh no. it's probably five the one in Vegas is. better I agree yeah the one in Vegas is. better iel toar so let down and then you. know and then when you first when you go. down large a little further I get a. little lost here that's I die down the. pizza joints fine yeah yeah U mulberries. yeah M and then there's a creation. Juicery and all that stuff yeah all that. stuff do say Jerry Seinfeld he's just on. laremont what am I doing on laremont.

there's a peach coffee yeah she said go. get him oh go get him tiger too so. there's about nine coffee shops it's a. good place if you're in LA to go. shopping take a walk and take a walk. it's a really nice place parking's a. [ __ ] what parking Park in the. neighborhood oh that's what you do yeah. okay yeah [ __ ] dude trying to wait for. those spots yeah but there's also you. know here's the thing about the signs I. never know what the signs are I don't. read them you just park wherever I just. park and if I get a ticket I get a by. the way it's it's not failed me for 20. years in La so you'll Park in a.

residential thing where it says you need. a tag I'll figure it out I almost always. get away with it now where I don't get. away with it is meters meters are insane. they got like a gun out waiting for you. like yeah you got two two minutes left. you got two minutes but in the. neighborhood those guys got a circle so. big and look at every tag n you can get. away with it yeah I got towed in West. Hollywood ones when I was with at a. ladies house but you slept over yes see. overnight is different than during the.

day oh so ah I got that too wrong yep. night time you cannot night time no no. night time why why not no no cuz that's. when they're really B that's when. they're that's when they have time to. get people but they actually tellw you. 100% wow cuz they make so much [ __ ]. money how much it cost to get your car. out $800 or something hundreds of. dollars it's so stupid so makes makes me. so mad it's it's it's it's unjust it's. unfair yeah that's why I want to do uh. um put the uh you know now they sell you. can lock your wheel so they can't tow it.

have you seen this then they have to get. a flatbed in there no yeah get one of. those some guy in New York put a video. up about him like lock there was things. you can put around your wheel so you so. they can't tow you wow but they flatbed. you then they can they can get you I. just created an invention just when you. just said that here's my invention dude. yeah like a bike. lock right like you like a bike lock. right on your t on through your wheel. not through the wheels even like you. know the piping.

below oh boy what I'm going to find out. how little you know about cars there no. there's no piping below there is but. what piping are you speaking about the. exhaust piping what is that there we go. but what is that going to do you put a. lock on it on the exhaust that's not. going to help you there's got so when I. go underneath a car I I've never been. underneath one there we go zoom in yeah. look at all that. stuff look at all the chaos down there. my friend yeah can I zoom in a little. further my friend further please there's.

got to be a place underneath that car. where you can stick a lock but what what. are you locking up your car to the. street he just puts puts a Master Lock. click like a like a gym locker right you. C right lock click right and then they. have to they have to have the combo to. unlock it I don't I don't yeah okay yeah. I'm in I'm on oh they have one of those. things mhm oh I see they just clip it. they clip it well they just clip bikes. then they do all the the time people get. bikes stol my bike got stolen the first. like three bikes I had here got stolen.

so there's no lock that's. unclippable in human history well that's. let's invite invent that let's invent. that an unclippable lock unclippable. lock I almost called you yesterday yeah. because I was walking on Larchmont okay. our favorite I was yeah and I was. talking on the phone to a friend about. um the David Lynch documentary that they. reposted to HBO Oho it's old right yeah. but I rewatched it cuz I'd watched it. when came out yeah dude he said he said. something in there made you cry it just.

made me feel like what we talk about. right with the show that we're give it. to me baby give it to me he said I. realized at some point that life was. about making art drinking coffee smoking. cigarettes and sometimes a woman gets in. there and I was like that's dude that's. all his life was make art smoke. cigarettes drink coffee sometimes. sometimes get a girl in there yeah yeah. but I'm saying what he's saying to is. listen to the order make art first.

coffee and cigarettes debatable whether. you should I don't think you should. smoke cigarettes anymore and sometimes a. girl gets in there but when you put the. girl in front of the art are you is this. directed toward me no this is universal. this is a bro this ly this is David. Lynch yeah what he's saying is when you. put girl in front of Art and girl. represents not just woman it. represents noise Earth life noise yeah. in front of art art bad art go art bad. art wrong but if it goes art cigarettes.

and coffee yeah yeah and then girl life. art good that's good art good yeah I'm. I'm that's exactly what he's saying and. he said it so profoundly you're like is. it on HBO it right isn't HBO I think it. was HBO they reposted it but so David. Lynch um do you like his movies what do. you mean I love his movies what I don't. like is people. exactly do you know what I'm trying to. say yeah do you I don't think so no yeah.

I. think they don't understand I think some. people like David Lynch because of the. abstract nature of film and then some. people like David Lynch because they. really believe that um everything was. deliberate I don't get that second part. I think some people really like it. because not all those films were [ __ ]. perfect quite flawed if I'm being honest. a lot of them are quite flawed super. subversive and beautiful but like I. think some people like him because they.

like that it's weird and some people. like it because it's a lot of artistic. Choice it's very it's very deliberate is. what I mean I'm going to tell you why I. like it I'll give you an example of what. I'm trying to say go ahead tell me the. example I'm trying to say is I think. some people like. Tarantino because a lot of his movies. for lack of a better explanation involve. violence and very hot heavy fast. throbbing film it's very it's a lot. right which is why when someone talks.

about Once Upon a Time they're like I. didn't like it till the end till there. was a lot of violence do you know what I. mean and then other people really like. it because he's his story the way he. tells story is extremely love that movie. I love that movie but it's story it's. spefic that's my point is like some. people like Lynch because they. understand he's trying to tell this. really beautiful intricate story. sometimes within within within itself. some people like it because they're like. it's [ __ ] Lynch is out there man it's. just [ __ ] it's like they're they're just. in fascinating the idea that it's so. unique if youve watch a movie like eras.

your head right this is the first time. and it used to scare me as a kid when I. used to watch this movie well it's a. scary movie yeah I get scared now but. there's um these gaps between people's. conversations yeah and within those gaps. G gaps you hear like some electronical. equipment or a buzzing or whatever and. it's so awkward and it's also so um. otherworldly almost you know but it's. there is a a fear in there well you hear.

the you hear the um yeah you hear like. the feedback of Stillness how are you. and then you. hear and then there's literally a middle. will go by pretty good you know what I. mean it's just this weird way of you. know and I and I thought you know as a. kid I was like I've never seen a movie. like this before you know paced like. this yeah when you watch a Lynch movie. like Lost Highway even I I don't I don't. understand do you know what that movie. is about I have no idea yeah but you're. still watching it become because it's. just like every scene there's just. something that's completely different.

and you can't you there's no way you can. go like you sometimes you watch a movie. go I know where this is going there's no. way to do that with a Lynch movie yeah. this isn't like a his his stuff isn't he. never worked with Kevin Hart we we yeah. so funny W just you know what I mean. it's like the The Rock and Kevin Hart. and David Lynch's oh my God it's just. David Lynch's lack of commercialism is. was was very on purpose you know what. I'm saying some people were like he's. like I got I like it like were you well. were you are you a were you are you a. Twin Peaks fan I am yeah so that's a big.

point of contention a lot of people. weren't I see and a lot of people who. were hardcore Lynch people that I know. didn't like it and vice versa I know. people who are like didn't really love. David Lynch I [ __ ] love to pece so do. you know Jack um the guy that played a. razorhead can find his last name U Jack. um the actor miof no the guy with the. hair burn Nance Jack n so Jack Nance. right was in a razor head but he did was. in Twin Peaks he's been in a lot of. Lynch movies right do you know how he.

died [ __ ] can I guess yeah yeah guess. was it autoerotic no it's sadder than. that sadder than autoerotic. yeah he. died oh oh oh O'Reilly um he died I. don't do give it to me okay so something. so he was sing panas he was seeing a. porn star okay AIDS and he um he was. shooting a movie movie and he was. shooting a movie where like the like it. was like um out in the mountain so you.

know I mean he couldn't get really good. um cell service sell service or it was a. phone service okay there was a storm or. something and his girlfriend was going. to kill him kill herself right and then. the phone cut off and by the time he you. know I mean found she killed him herself. his girlfriend right and then he gave it. comes back to LA and he's at a hot dog. store somewhere in North Hollywood. somewhere and so gang members beat him. to death with a pipe what do they have. to do about the girlfriend killing.

herself I don't know I just yeah it was. a fun little extra you know what I mean. thing they beat him to death but there. was a documentary called You Don't Know. Jack and David Lynch directed it I think. and it's about his life it's so sad you. just go to Jack Nance death yeah or. whatever I want yeah I want I might have. got [ __ ] it up but um on uh uh Nance. launched with friends Leo bul galani and. Katherine case he had a visible Crescent. shaped bruise under his eye and when. asked about he story about a brawl. outside of Winchell's Donuts love now.

that's a good donut place store that. morning he went home complaining of a. headache Nance developed a subdural. hematoma resulting in his death the. following morning found his body they. found a body on the bathroom Flo of his. apartment in South Pasadena California. later that day an autopsy revealed that. his blood alcohol content was 0.24 at. the time of his death that's probably. did it yeah but initially ruled as. resulting from blunt force trauma so. right he had a subdermal it wasn't a hot. dog place it was a donut place and then. is there any way you can look up his. because his check it out it wasn't hot. dog place a donut place and he drank. himself to. death yeah yeah yeah yeah I mean 024 is.

[ __ ] insane but this is a guy that. was that's insane not not in anything. but Lynch movies he relied on Lynch. right and then when he put him on Twin. Peaks it's like saved him for money and. stuff like that but like he cuz he was a. serious regular on Twin Peaks wow but he. never really you know um Point made it. two four do you realize that's isn't. that 2% of your blood correct what what. what's the most you've had in your body. you think I don't think ever seen you. super drunk have you guys you're always.

cool like you're still very cool I'm not. a well but I I've drank more than I. should but I'm I'm never like Dr Jackal. Mr I've never seen you drunk you've. never. I what I was I showered in the room and. I got out and you were in there after. Dollywood oh yeah then that day I was. drunk drunk it was pretty drunk oh yeah. that day I mean do you think about like. right now do you ever think about. drinking like I just not regular day am. I thinking about it right now yeah no. like you are you planning on when when. you're going to drink next no wow no.

incredible that's the difference between. you and I yeah yeah yeah I think right I. think you do that right Carlos think. about it every morning yeah yeah. drinking literally you think about it. drugs anything that's what the sick. that's what sucks about having. alcoholism it's I don't have it now. because it's been lifted from me but. it's like I just remember back in the. day you're like you're planning it like. at 9: I'm going to do it you know what I. mean and you don't do that that it's I. don't I don't I mean I do look forward.

to it when I am going to do it yeah cuz. I love drinking yeah yeah like I know. but I also am at an age now when I know. not like look I'm traveling tomorrow I'm. not I don't want to have a drink tonight. I don't want to get on a [ __ ] plane. hung over and tired and blah blah blah. so like my drinking is very planned now. just because of my age when I was young. when I was [ __ ] mone's age it didn't. even matter I could get drunk till 3:00. in the morning get on a 7: a.m. flight. and not even think about it he can do. that years old yeah yeah but like now as. at my age it just s it just sucks like.

it's it's beginning to happen my body. falling apart my f hands what what wrong. with your F. hands why why you laughing you look. skinny from this angle thank you thank. you my hands hurt so bad just just hurt. yeah I have arthritis so this hurts. really yeah from video games you I don't. know what it is well video games right. so I bought one of those hand things. those little muscle you stress balls no. it's not stress ball it's like one of. those no he's talking about like a. [ __ ] uh yeah like like a grip thing.

yeah exactly grip thing I call a grip. thing yeah and uh I've been doing that. when I'm watching stuff right but it's. like it hurts so bad when I like just. not hurt you just feel the cracking and. the yeah and there's like um there's a. little bit of push and pull you what do. you think that could be from cuz you're. you're not like a laborer you don't use. your hands I don't know I think I'm just. getting to the point where I have now. arthritis but it has to be caused from. something usual sometimes you just get. old and get my grandma has that your. grandma's your grandma you [ __ ] he's.

50 years old he's not your grandma's age. no but I talk to other comics and they. go I have that too which ones like if I. talk to older people like you know like. Spade goes my shoulder and Spade's 100. years old oh yeah that's right yeah yeah. he died twice yeah yeah he it's unbeliev. no but but let me say this have you. thought about taking um peptides or. testosterone or any of that stuff hm. have you talk about have you thought. about taking testosterone or peptide I. want to see there's a couple of things I. want to see a doctor about so I think I.

think is one of them yeah about about. this arthritic condition yeah getting. like injections or something dude do it. I get them in my hip you know really. yeah yeah cuz I had that I have an. impingement on my hip and it makes me. feel so much well that doesn't help yeah. so are you not allowed to crack them. this just sound like bubble wrap I know. that's what I'm saying it hurts so bad. no no no I looked it up one time. cracking your knuckles does not cause. any that's an old wives tail so it. doesn't cause anything it doesn't [ __ ]. it's just air between your knuckles but. but it they made you feel when you were. kid like you do that too much you're. going to blah blah you know whatever the. [ __ ] they you do that too much you might.

end up gay you know and I was try me Dad. yeah or they say that it's going to give. you um murb is going to give you hair on. your palms I shave every. morning yeah what was that you're going. to get hair on your palms if you jerk. off yeah somebody said that so weird. what a and you're going to go blind if. you jerk off too much yeah right wasn't. that one of them oh no it was standing. in front of the TV too close yeah too. close well if you're jerking off with. the TV too close you go blind and you. get hairy hands my my dad would make up. wise Tails if you watch TV too close.

grandma going to. die I was like and I was like she died. already you. did Mother you enjoy Nick at. night yeah Grandma gonna die because I. tell you that one story because of TG so. one night I used to stay up late to. watch like if I knew there was like a. standup on a Tonight Show yeah so as a. kid I would sneak up so we had this one. room where the gigantic TV was and then. my parents I could I could hear them.

come in MH right so I hop behind the. [ __ ] couch and they put in a VCR of a. Korean porn porn no way I swear to God. you watch your parents [ __ ] no no no I. had to go. hi because I I you got to they were. kissing and stuff like on the cheeks and. they're likeing closing up who right and. I went hi I got in so much trouble yeah. I would the [ __ ] out of you too now this. all this golf club thing makes sense. yeah but wait what do you mean what do.

you get out of here I'd beat you too me. and your mom are trying to hook up yeah. but what would it happen if I saw them. hook up that'd be way more SC scarring. maybe oh you like you. like you know that would have been so. bad take it that dick have you ever seen. your parents no would that scar you. they've never had sex yes they have no I. would that scario oh my God yeah I've. never heard I've never heard I've never. seen it I I heard what I thought was it. oh my God no but I don't know what you.

hear well I was so young right I heard. um yeah yeah. yeah yeah but I was such a young kid I. don't but other than that no I've never. it never had a I mean my mom walked in. on me my mom walked in on me in high. school getting a [ __ ] by who this guy. from. school yeah yeah Marcos maros no this my. high school girlfriend was giving me. head wow and literally my mom walked in. and I didn't know what I've said this. before on a show yeah I couldn't say.

anything so all that came out was closed. the [ __ ] door you said [ __ ] yeah. yeah and she was [ __ ] she was like oh my. god oh Andro and then [ __ ] shut the. door and she y for swearing not in the. moment okay but then I said my did you. ever use that kind of language and my. girlfriend was so embarrassed she was. like what the [ __ ] dude what the [ __ ]. you didn't lock the door and I was like. I thought I locked the door and she was. like [ __ ] dude I have to walk out of. your house now oh my God that's. embarrassing and so then I then we sat. there for a second and I was still hard.

and I was like you think no really you. think you could finish see that's the. kind of stuff I might as well come. already busted dude I didn't get that. [ __ ] in high school that's what the. difference head no I I never hooked up. with anybody you never got had in high. school. nope never once 23 is when I got laid. what about that guy you blew in high. school okay well I mean that's not the. same thing D let's wait that's the same. thank you for being a bad friend. I mean.

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