Bobby's 50th Birthday | Ep 83 | Bad Friends

you two are bad friends who are these. two idiots a white dude and an Asian. dude you two are. disgusting you two or something we're. bad friends I'm I was ready at [ __ ]. 550 to go and she wasn't even were you. not in the house no I wasn't yeah you. weren't in the house all right so you. can't give me that look here's a second. thing I want to say okay I just found. out this [ __ ] girl didn't get me. anything for my birthday it's my 50th. birthday and I go.

where's the. iPad and she goes that's too expensive I. got no money yeah you have [ __ ] money. Lady it's still expensive I know my. point is then I go and then I ask you. where's your money and you go I'm. getting my teeth fixed she hasn't been. to the dentist one time since she's been. in America so you [ __ ] lied to me and. she said my teeth are rotten and number. two I'm not trying to be rude all right. I know you're a young girl okay but what. I'm saying is is that I don't charge you. rent in my house not one rent right when.

I go to a steakhouse or whatever I. always ask you do you want some steak. you be honest with me Jules right if I. went to Morton's right and I go do you. want something to eat right and you said. I want a T-bone steak with baked potato. and the trimmings right would I not give. it to you you would yeah right and I. would never use that against you I would. just be like here my child here's some. nutrients I turn 50 years old once a. year I mean not once a year once a.

lifetime not once a year sorry I'm in a. rant once I apologize once a Lifetime. right and in the Korean culture the 50th. birthday is the magical one that's why. little Santino right put all these. little candy treats in front of me right. now they put all these. little what a surprise this is sponge. who's this Buzz Lightyear Buzz. Lightyear is that what his name is Luigi. this is Toy Story Luigi right cuz you're. my little toy you're my little you don't.

start you don't start you're my little. I'm your little pocket [ __ ] I'm your. little pocket [ __ ] so I just want to. say to you Jules I I'm going to I'm. going at the end of my rant all right. sushi in candy form what a what a bright. and ingenious way to present candy isn't. that cute to an Asian person from my. little Japanese friend yeah yeah this. I'm a Korean what Korean are you serious. yeah but we'll eat this too as well. right okay good so I mean I didn't get. any candy from you I didn't get no.

treats from you we decorated and you. gave nothing you gave nothing I have. what what did you give so what oh so. okay here we. go that's all I wanted out of you so. tomorrow is my birthday I have it here. why are you screaming and getting. aggressive because I just want to scream. all right so you have a gift here where. is. it. oh my bad then.

can you bring it to me. pleas you. [Music]. bring open it. up what is. it what is it Bob I don't have to open. it but I can just tell through the. package show it to the fans people want. to know what it is what did Ry get you. it's a cold taco supreme from Taco Bell. ooh.

what a gift is that's it you're not. going to open it no I know what it is. that's rude open the gift [ __ ] you what. if it's not what if it's a piece of cake. all right I'm going to say this right. now all right if I open this up and it's. not an. iPad let's see if I and this is not some. futuristic Taco that's going to do. something for me right I am going to go. [ __ ] I might not even do the [ __ ]. podcast well let me just see what it is. cuz I want to know all right let's open. it up all right um what is it oh it's a. coold taco [ __ ] Supreme.

oh it is like I said but eat it though. no I can't eat. it throw throw it at her then out of. anger and frustration leave it to the. side thank you so much very good very. good do you want the taco yeah okay okay. I also want to say this hook shot I just. I also want to say this what did I get. you for your. birthday anime things where's the. [ __ ] mic anime stuff I know anyway. knives um thank you so much for the. gifts I don't know why Toy Story I've.

never saw the. movies what who did it do it again what. I like. knives do it again I like knives we have. a board we have a board we have a Rudy. board we have a rud we have a. Rudy we now have a Rudy board that's. nice so is that when she's out of town. mhm yeah yeah listen to all the ones we. have hear it I'm tired of course that's. a good one it's a classic Direction all.

combined they have 4,000. tattoos DUI it's a fact I don't need to. know I like anime. okay I don't. know yeah yeah yeah those are good can. we sell those oh my God those are nfts. yeah those are far as I know those are. NS for the reason that these are toy. stories because you're little the the. there has been a Toy story of our life. our relationship and our friendship is.

that of toys yeah we are sweet little. youthful people yeah and speaking of. Pixar films Pete go ahead and bring up. that Wikipedia real fast just because I. want to show boob this real quickly can. I eat this to Bobby yeah was that the. soundboard what is. [Laughter]. that click on that down at the bottom. Pete the last one there you go big. screen it just for fun real fast show. the fans. yeah the Characters themes narrative. asner's vocal performance and and Gino.

score were praised as well as the. vignette of Carl and his wife Ellie. growing old together the film won two. Academy Awards including best animated. feature best nominated and that's from. the [ __ ] page itself what the. Wikipedia page itself acknowledges it's. a vignette not a monage once again from. up I did not because I have other. sources this is the source no no you. changed it because it was before the a. montage was before and you changed it. Rudy yeah yeah Rudy soundboard Rudy did. I change it I like.

knives did I change it no see yeah yeah. you know what you know what you're. making me so angry I'm going to vape. shove that up your ass [ __ ] you do it. it's your birthday you old. [ __ ] hell yeah vape Life what's up. what's up. dog Vape King dog what's up player dude. are you excited it's your 50th birthday. no I I I I death is around the corner. yeah you're halfway well no for you it's. definitely more than halfway you're like. three qus done because I look at you. know it was a sad week because Norm died.

G and then what did I brought it down no. no I just made me sad Diego maradana. died a couple years ago and he was 60 he. was 60 so I feel like I have 10 years. left Norm was 61 so you've got 11 11. years left yeah because you know Norm. was a great guy a legend and it was so. heartbreaking so funny think about this. if you die by by if you die by funn. you've got like three years left what. does that mean well normal last is 61. he's [ __ ] alleged he's a genius he's.

so funny you might last 52 53 maybe oh. you think that the funnier you are the. longer you last yep oh then why why you. should have died in your 20s I I gave. you the joke I know I gave you the joke. well that's the truth though I gave you. the joke yeah I've seen you lately on. stage who's funnier don't go there did I. see you bomb in the O A couple nights. ago yeah you did yeah pretty bad pretty. bad yeah but you brought me on stage. like a sweet boy yeah that that crowd. was rough well then it was rough you. give me that then yeah but I did better.

than you for sure I don't know if you. did oh I sure did can I just can I tell. you can I tell you why I sure did I was. like I want to stay and watch Andrew I. couldn't even stay because you had to go. outside no I was and smoke cuz you were. so bummed at what you did on stage you. know it was like a TR thing what you did. on stage I want I wanted to go this I. want to go like this I want to go boring. here's what you did on stage uh uh uh uh. you were searching you were hunting you. were searching you were hunting in the. woods for bigfoot it was you were never. going to find it it was a tough it was a. tough crowd yeah with Colin Quinn.

there's no way I did better to know who. did better no there was a way I got more. laughs it was terrible it is by the way. it's a special day today why not only is. it your birthday it's also yam kapor do. you know that do you know what yam kapor. is. [Applause]. Jewish young do you have any Jewish. friends Roger who's. Roger who's Roger think kila's father. he's Jewish anti kila's stepdad is Je.

Jewish yeah can we call him no because. he's got out of heart surgery today wake. him. up do you know he had surgery today. right yeah yeah yeah yeah is he okay. yeah he's fine my dad had surgery. yesterday my dad had not hard surgery. but he had surgery that's so sad I'm so. sorry now his uh tube in his pee pee. dude I was asking him about a catheter. the most painful thing he's ever. experienced what do they do they go. through the hole right through the no. they make no they make another hole no. wait no no they shave they carve another. hole in your penis just go through the.

hole that already course they do of. course I don't know I'm not a doctor not. anymore you're not I know but so let me. ask you something about the catheter. they stick a uh they stick a uh tube. right in your pis in the hole of the. penis oh yeah yeah oh yeah and then they. it goes to where does it endless or does. is there end it comes back out of your. mouth it goes. they and then and then it comes right. out oh so when they pull it out it's. like a magic trick how they do with. canker ships Magic. they pull a handkerchief right out t or.

something no it goes into your [ __ ]. bladder and you know what he told me. that was a bummer he said he has to then. then when they're done you have to. relearn how to hold your piss you have. to relearn how to pee because it'll just. come out uh my dad says when he drinks. now piss just comes out oh really yeah. oh that's not funny well no he's fine. it's you got to laugh about it what is. that is that forever now no no of course. not no it's only like a couple more I. think it's like a maybe a month or. something and then they pull it out. couple more weeks is it your stepdad. though right mm yeah not real huh he's.

real he's a full guy he's a real man I. know but not your bio yeah but I have a. biod dad and a stepdad how's he doing. they're both alive great burn cuz my dad. di. H got dead dad hurt dead dad daddy while. you die but you know what I'm proud of. you 50 years and and look at what you've. done with your career and I'm being. genuine right now look at what you've. done look at where you've made it look. at how [ __ ] far you've come seriously. you son of a [ __ ] from like a loser.

Korean fat. loser pussiless layo in San Diego yeah. to now becoming one of the kings of. comedy in our generation can I show you. a photo can I finish my [ __ ] thing no. because it's not ins sincere and it. doesn't feel right has this been Sincere. was I being sincere Rudy thank you thank. you look look at this photo right here. interrupt my [ __ ] speech this is me. 21 years old wow show the kids look at. the kids wow how many years ago was that. go fast math go that was 30 years.

ago n that was uh 29 years ago there it. is okay there it is but I lied I I was. 20 there oh you did okay. okay so I I didn't lie I don't even know. who this other guy is I think he died. dead guy Bill Bill is it was Billy yeah. do you remember anything about that man. yeah so I knew what I know about Billy. is him and. I there's a there's a coffee shop I used. to work at called the panakin uh La Hoya. panakin coffee shop next door to it was.

this place called DG he still there I. think DG Wells bookstore huh and that's. where I met. um like Hunter Thompson used to hang out. there you know what I mean and did you. meet him Hunter Thompson no but I met um. [ __ ] Alan Ginsburg seriously yeah the. writer no the [ __ ] baseball [ __ ]. player oh the baseball Alan no Alan. Ginsburg the writer he wrote me a letter. once what did it say he says you watch. too much TV dear Bob watch too much TV I.

I have the letter in the house somewhere. but I used to hang out there I never. read a book in my life I know but you. know what I used to do I used to hang. out there and I would like for hours and. just pretend to read waiting for someone. cool to come in yeah it was like one of. those places where all these cool. writers and people playing chess and. stuff and like Dennis the owner of the. bookstore like was a friend of mine and. stuff how would you pick the book I was. just go like besteller no I would go to. like some I would go to ker guard say it. again ker guard sure right like he has a.

book called fear and trembling mhm never. read it I have it was it good never. finished it yeah I've never finished any. and I used to you know I used to open it. up and cross my legs and read so I met. so I met Billy there and then Billy and. I went and. saw way before it was a three bands it. was mud honey oh I loved mud honey it. was Sonic UK so good and pavement I. don't know pavement oh my one of my. favorites and they played and there was. only like a 100 people there in in. delmare it was one of the best shows.

ever SE wait where at the fairgrounds or. something no just in the city of delmare. pavement is one of the best albums um. this is pavement what was their song. what was their hit song albums they have. a um their first album called slanted. Enchanted is one of the best albums ever. made in the90s slanted Enchanted slanted. and Enchanted that was made for you yeah. slanted Enchanted is one of the best. they have a song called Summer bab. that's amazing it's it's a great s how. come I never heard of this band because. this is more cool you're more. Creed no you you're more Creed you're.

more you're more like Midwestern like. you know I grew up with hip-hop first of. all stuff stuff you know nothing clown. what do they call what Insane Clown posy. yeah yeah clown py clown py how do you. say it clown py are y'all in the clown. py is it clown posy Insane Clown posi. Insane Clown py py okay whatever okay. posi whatever say that's your thing no. my thing is I'm into cool stuff no I'm. into hip-hop you're not and you know. nothing about hip-hop and and and you. know what I grew up in Powe in the. suburb white people okay so don't TR to.

put Creed on me because I don't like. [ __ ] I don't know pavement all right. okay all right you [ __ ] about hipop I. can't control like oh I live in the. suburb we more black people [ __ ] we more. black people working in this [ __ ]. living in this neighborhood I didn't. have control over that yeah well okay. you have no black friends you're racist. but I had no control over that I would. love the blacks well admit that you're. white privileged admit you're a white. privileged Kid Say I'm a white. privileged kid say it I'm a white. privileged kid okay I went to Country. clubs I play tennis I'm a white P CL I.

like you know I mean kind of Arty white. Arty white [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ]. thank you but anyway they have a great. other um they have another album called. um crooked rain crooked rain with the. album after this crooked rain crooked. rain crooked rain two times I think it's. crooked rain crooked rain is it crooked. rain crooked rain crooked rain crooked. rain just oh it is crooked rain twice. yeah crooked rain crooked rain great. album do you like this because olister. Jones says it's her favorite album is.

that why why is she there because it's. she said it's her favorite album I have. dude. uhoh listen sounds like somebody's uh oh. listen to this [ __ ] T okay my favorite. album is crooked rain CR rain and look. listen to this [ __ ] give it to me dude D. give it to me dude bye if you look at. Annie if you look at Annie we'll be. right back with two Theos if if you look. at Annie right yeah best albums in the.

9s right crooked rain crooked rain and. slend chant would be on those [ __ ]. lists what do you mean best what. according to who you no they would not. alltime selling nobody [ __ ] bought. this no no in terms of critically. critically acclaimed dude crooked is in. the if you look at the top 500 best. albums ever made either crooked rain. crooked rain or slant nchant would be on. that [ __ ] according to whom sometimes. not sales no dude not Awards you're so. dumb dude so who likes it really you and. your buddies and pawe you're in your.

paway bubs bro you can't say you can't. say something's the best if there is no. reason to prove that it's the best bro. listen to me okay Reebok is the best. shoe company according to who dude me. and my powerway buds listen to me okay. uhhuh people watch Full House yeah lots. Millions I've never seen that yeah right. right right so more people probably saw. Full House than saw the movie.

yimbo sure right are you saying that. that Full House is better than yimbo. because more people watched Full. House yep you're wrong yep because a lot. of people in this country I want to say. this to you America and not bad friend. Frans because you guys are bright and. you guys are artistic and you guys are. open all right but I want to say this. you're really being very combative for. my birthday by the. way stay. good news the newspaper page let me tell.

you something and that wasn't full house. that was Family Matters um black show by. the way which I enjoyed more than the. white slave driven show of Full House. right white. enslaved uh children by Danny oh Danny. and his uncles it was a sex ring that's. what they were running out of that house. it was disgusting you're describing. Roots was that yeah I think you're. missing mixing two fil switching the. shows Roots is what you're talking about.

can I tell you something what I do know. who pavement is did that make you mad no. okay because you know why you know yeah. because you're a bright guy I do know. yeah yeah I do know but it was really. fun but can I say this yeah we got you. something special for your birthday oh. gee what is it. Andre go. ahead will you come into the room and. present this gift to me yeah yeah do it. in a monologue for I don't want you in. the other room.

he does this this is just he said he was. bringing in you a bringing you in a gift. and I wrot a poem or something this is. [ __ ] weird do you have a is this a oh. okay hello hi. hi happy birthday thank you wait can you. get forward a little bit so the cameras. can catch a little bit go over there so. they can see you see you a little bit. and also um get on your knees yeah yeah. get on no no Pete it's you let him be on. his knees okay okay hold on okay. all right all right okay uhhuh hello.

hello give him the mic Happy Birthday. Bobby thank. you actually today is a really happy. day stop for a second let me just absorb. it take your time mhm so happy birthday. Hello you said today's a very very happy. happy day yeah because because you were. born I was born yeah and and you just.

brighten my day every. day he brighten his day I don't I don't. buy it but okay yeah also it's Mexican. Independence yeah yeah yeah and uh you. know I remember those days when Spain. was ruling Mexico it was it was. beautiful good times yeah was like we. live in harmony what um wrap it up right. yeah yeah no this is his birthday gift.

yeah yeah I need the whole thing okay. okay anyway thank you Bobby uh you're. amazing yeah love you but can I before. you go. Andreas um do I get a physical gift from. you yeah yeah okay what is the physical. gift I'm getting from you it's an iPad i. r is buying for you oh coming tomorrow. ooh so I get a brand new iPad tomorrow. from the future from the future from.

Tomorrow the future exactly and you. didn't contribute to paying for it or. anything yeah from both of us oh he you. spent some money on it of course you did. okay I put the software you know you put. the software inside oh you went to the. factory and you was like wait a second I. know it's a factory right but let me for. this specific one give me the parts y. right they stopped the mechan you know. what I mean whatever the belt thing that. they do and you put the [ __ ]. mechanisms in it and all the other. [ __ ] probably Hispanic people sure he.

bro what are you doing we got to do 10. million today you know what I mean so. many more to do yeah yeah and then you. did that and you took it off probably. the belt yes right and you packaged it. yourself yeah well I put it in my bag. while sto look you stole it oh you stole. it you stole it okay yeah so you're. admitting to th thy yeah and then um for. some reason jwes has it yeah accomplice. and I want to say this to you Andreas I. want to believe you you don't believe. you don't believe no well listen let me.

finish all right first of all thank you. and I'm grateful to have a friend like. you right because getting a gift like an. iPad is just um it it says a lot it's. something that I use every day every day. and the thing is is that um if I don't. get one tomorrow yeah right there is. going to be a betrayal inside my heart. big time and there will be something. what they call Allah Revenge Allah Allah. Revenge allahar. oh that's what it.

is is in charge of this second part I. understand but since it is a 50/50. present you said your present too if I. don't get one yeah you will get half the. Wrath okay what will he get he'll get. Allah Akbar Allah Akbar which in turn. translates to fired fired yeah what she. get fired as well okay yeah if I don't. get a. [ __ ] the best iPad tomorrow one terab. right right with I'm going to open it up. to see if he put the [ __ ] stuff in. there too well CU did you sign it or.

something in there I. did so the mechanisms have little. signatures on it right so you know great. I'll know who did itch right it might. glitch a little bit I don't care right. but tomorrow when I wake up tomorrow. right I can't wait to open up that I. can't wait to see that I can't wait to. see it you know and I also love firing. people and acting like a little baby oh. yeah and rageful unfortunately I'm not. going to be there in the morning but. will I'll never see you again actually. well that'll be the end of you yeah yeah. I yeah cuz I'm not going to I'm going to.

get other people to do it yeah right so. I'll never see you again yeah so um I. can't wait thank you so much Andreas. Andreas and thank you and tell your. people congratulations on Happy. Independence Day oh no it's m it's. Mexican the people it's the other people. they got away you don't you don't have a. phone number the other people got away. from his people I know but you can't. call them yeah yeah good so thank you. thanks Andreas one more time for Andreas. what a. joyous what a pleasant day I guess he's. fired he's fired I'll never see him.

again door Das I'll tell you something. right now and out of all the delivery. services this is the best one it's the. one you use the most it's the one the. one I only use and um the reason why is. in certain places that you go to Door. Dash is the number one thing it's like. in Hawaii like some of the other apps. they don't even go to certain. restaurants door Dash goes to all of. them every single one of them door Dash. connects you with the restaurants you. love right now and right to your door. and you can get the grocery Essentials. you need with door Dash 2 get drinks. snacks and other household items. delivered in under an hour you can also. now Andrew get grocery Essentials and.

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we got a hello tushi here at the studio. I love the hello tush I got one at my. house I'll save a poo I'll save a poo to. do it here save a poo just to do it here. because the tushi in this our bathroom. is so nice it's the nicest one it's the. nicest one it goes right in the hole. it's so easy to install it's so. affordable and I'm telling you something. right now you you'll be able to eat a. plate of food off your [ __ ] after a. tushi you could tushy the modern of day. company washes away even the messiest to. PO leaving you with a better clean tushy.

than toilet paper all right look. sometimes it gets a little messy down. there toilet paper is a waste it's bad. for the environment why not wash it out. with the tush it's the modern bedet for. people who poop poop wash pat dry and. then you're good to go I mean wash it. with water is less irritating and more. soothing for your beeh hole right easy. to install attaches to the toilet in. under 10 minutes no electricity or. Plumbing needed yeah yeah easy to. install uh using a tissue B reduces. toilet paper use by 80% saving money and. the environment it's eco-friendly and.

stylish the tushi has a full product. line to make the restroom the best. including a tushy ottoman the sleekest. toilet stool design to help you poop at. 100% 100% of the time rated number one. Bu The Wire cutter start washing with. the tushi bedet for a better clean go to. hellotushy.com badri to get 10% off plus. free shipping special offer for our. listeners at hellotushy.com BFS for 10%. off after you buy and install your tushi. show it off tag us hellotushy on. Instagram. what' you get me for my 50th your.

birthday's not till tomorrow but do you. have I mean because I'm not I might not. see you tomorrow your birthday is not. till tomorrow I'm delivering something. to your home tomorrow uhhuh so you'll. get a [ __ ] gift you little snotrag. brat wow well you never got me [ __ ] for. my [ __ ] birthday ever when is it. exactly but when is your birthday we. already passed it I know when is it guys. do you know they do know shut up what's. the date we are you know we did a. celebration without you okay I will look. it up it was 3 days ago I will look it. up it was three days ago it's not.

September yes it is it's not it's not. what month is it then Andrew Santino. what month is it in. birthday birthday here we go your. birthday is October 16th that's right. and it's coming up it is coming up yeah. and I am going to get you something so. good yeah look underneath that is my. little photo this is my birthday cuz. we're Bubbies yeah who's Benny Blanco. he's uh a world famous meast star.

producer who who was on Dave with us oh. really he's connected to you. he's yeah I he's like he's one of those. guys that writes some of the most famous. songs you've ever heard on the radio and. you might not know it's him that did it. I'm a big fan that's great good stuff he. is good um hey can we can we call. someone for your birthday who there's a. guy who I found on the internet Pete. will you show the picture this is. exactly what my penis looks like look at. this ex like to the tea yeah I bet. exactly I know I've held it before. exactly um so I found this on the. internet and it made me laugh really.

hard this guy was doing a live AMA and. it says ask me anything okay and it says. I have genital herpes ask me anything. okay so he was doing a live and he was. just Fielding questions about his herpes. yeah so I said this guy The Bravery of. this guy's badass some people most. people hide their herpes this guy's like. I got them do you have it no I don't. even know what it looks like herpes yeah. I bet you can guess but how would I know. well let's ask the expert we've got him. available to talk to okay this guy P his. name is Pickering Fitness.

hello how's it going hey. hey herpo herpo herpo what's your name. dude my name is Christopher Christopher. found Chris I found you I was scrolling. through Tik Tok on the [ __ ] and I saw. you doing an AMA and it said I got. herpes asked me anything and I thought. this guy's Brave as [ __ ] he's just. putting it out there most people are. scared to even talk about it but not you. you were answering you did an AMA for. how long. oh I do them daily got to educate the.

people so you do herpes daily herpes. amas every single. day yeah I do the live videos to you. know educate people and grow my page I. love this so look Bobby Bobby has never. Bobby knows nothing about Herpes and. he's very interested well I have there's. things wrong with my. shaft what's so funny I heard about the. I heard about the drooping as well so he. knows oh droopers he knows that you got. I got droops well he knows you know. about the. droops yeah yeah the the skin down you.

know yeah yeah the skin covers the head. and uh yeah Mak cheese Chris how'd you. get the herpa. derp how did I get it just live my best. life you know [ __ ] oh knee deep in it. huh you remember who gave it to you is. it like it's like Co yeah it was did you. let me ask you this did you ask her. before you hooked up that do you have. the herbs or is that something you ask. you assume it's a woman it could be a. male you don't know his oh yeah did you. the dude is it a guy I believe it was a. woman but you can never be sure these. days I love his attitude see yeah yeah.

you don't know let me ask you something. now my penis has rashes on it it's got a. purple heart because there been some. Wars and U my yeah my penis has a a. person a cute personality you know it's. like a. rotting see an enemy that's the best way. to describe it and um my penis has. little bumps on it how do I know if I. have herpes or. not I would suggest that if you have. some bumps go to the doctor and get them.

to do a test of it because it's easier. to diagnose if you have symptoms as. opposed to no symptoms but what I mean. it's like let's say who gives a [ __ ] if. I have it I have it you know what I mean. like why would I need to go to the. doctor you got it you got it you mean it. gives my penis some like you know um. personality personality like it looks. like Edward James's face you know what I. mean yeah yeah it's got some like you. know potholes and like it's a character. it's a character actor your penis is a. character yeah yeah like you could see.

him so unless anyone um makes fun of you. to the point where you decide to leave. this planet there will be no harm your. body yeah it's not that big of a deal. it's not that big of a deal then huh so. if you're with a new girl do you tell. her up front that I or a guy my bad if. you're with a guy. slir or a binary person non-binary. non-binary would do you tell that or. they would you tell them that you have.

herpes very. good so I will tell everyone that I. think I'm going to get naked with but I. will not just tell people on the first. date is there a girl that is there a. human being that's ever said ah you know. what I don't want that so I'm not going. to hook up with you as that ever. happened not directly but yes I've been. rejected for having it but I've also. been rejected for being 5 foot five or. you know this weird person. so rejection is going to happen without.

are you 5 five yes yes I was given all. of the terrible gifts just to either be. an inspiration or a joke in society we. have to see which one I think you're an. inspiration my friend no you're you're a. good guy I can tell man you seem like a. good dude I appreciate that yeah man I'm. a big fan of Bobby thank you man that's. his birthday I love you I love you in. Memoirs of Aisha it was great. [Laughter].

can Bobby make fun of uh you now no I. don't need to absolutely I don't have I. don't have to I don't have to St stoop. to that level how big do you have a big. penis absolutely not no it's probably. smaller than bobes honestly thank you. damn that's good that's a win for. me um anyway have you have you ever have. you ever have you ever gone to hook up. with somebody yeah and you were like I. have herpes and they were like I want to. see. and and you show them I mean Memoirs of.

AA yeah can we just let that sink in for. a second it I did yeah no because I let. it you know what I I'll be honest with. you bud when I heard it I wanted to. laugh at first yeah but then a little. rage happen you know it hits a rageful. part of me yeah and then I'm like Let It. Go and then we kept talking right M I. can't oh so not now you're mad I'm not. mad I just I don't know why I can't well. then tell them how you feel tell them. how that makes you feel um no I just. wanted to let me let me ask you did you.

think that I was in the movie Memoirs of. the gay show or do you was that a. joke that was a joke that was a joke and. it felt good then some material for this. particular phone. call one the Jes let's hear some of them. let that's really good so let's let's. hear let's go through the jokes then cuz. that felt now that feels. good yes I some material can I name the. segment real fast yeah absolutely abely. jokes from a jerk with.

bumps. nice now do some of these jokes need a. setup for me like if I say something. then you could respond with. something sort of yeah some of them can. be they're so so give me a give me a. setup and I'll set you up for one so. what's give me a. setup okay so typically I will only wear. like Kang tops or wife beaters like in. all of my herpes videos yeah so maybe. you're going to be like hey man is that. the only thing you wear about this no. I'll do it I want to hear your response.

I don't want to hear your response I hey. dude so I watched some of your um Tik. Tok videos and stuff you wear wife beers. and tank up and stuff is that all the. only things you. wear absolutely I'm completely naked. from the waist down which is probably. why I ended up with herpes because of. all the excess skin that's visible oh. that joke didn't hit did not hit oh that. joke didn't hit how can we make that. better there's no way to do it let's Let. it go let's go to the next show okay. let's go to the next show really want. joke yeah you know what you should give. us another set you know what you should. have done with that is right when you.

were saying the punchline right and you. could tell that it wasn't going well. then you should have hit me back with. memo vacation that would crushed so. let's do that again let's do that again. let's do that again let's do that again. okay back so you yeah just do a little. let's try it so um you know I watch your. Tik Tok videos and I see wear tank tops. and white feers and stuff is that all. you. wear no but um I do sometimes wear that. when I'm watching Memoirs of gasa. there we go that's EXA that's very much.

better much better better give me. another give me another setup for. another joke that you wrote okay here we. here we go so I heard it is your. birthday Tom moral Bobby yes. right okay that means you're turning 50. this year you are the same age as a. Willy Wonka in the Chocolate Factory but. by the looks of you it looks like you. ate the whole Chocolate. Factory ooh hey ooh ooh hey yeah yeah. yeah yeah yeah no. for me it's.

up for me it's up it's for me it's. like um that was a bur how can we make. that one better no I think that's a good. one you like that one yeah because it's. he the joke was as if I look like ralie. may let me tell his Let Me Tell It. here's here's how it should have gone. Chris Chris Christopher Chris right. Chris either one is fine I it should. have gone that's see that's a good joke. I love about it that's a good a good. girl goes is it Chris or Christopher go.

who cares I have herpes let's go get a. drink that's that's a good. joke so it should have gone it should. have gone Bobby you're turning 50. tomorrow which is the same age as Wily. Wonka in the Chocolate Factory yeah but. from the looks of it I think I've seen. you in Memoirs of. AA you see how this that would a crush. well I liked your AMA I think it was. really good I thought it was really fun. that you were answering question also. dude let me say something you know I. really like it thank you calling that. was my that was my birthday gift to you.

that's the gift I app thank you so much. what a great GI Chris we'll talk to you. soon thank you. brother sounds good love you bye. guys I said bye guys because I was. saying goodbye to him and his herpes I. want to say bye to both that was really. funny hey um that was my. gift yeah. okay all right yeah nah no thanks we're. trying Bob yeah it's not I don't think. you are because I don't think anyone.

really is cuz the only thing that I. asked for really to be honest with you. we got you gifts it's not your [ __ ]. birthday till tomorrow relax don't yell. no you're such a spoiled brat we're. getting you gifts everybody got you a. gift I'm just expressing something. that's all well say it all right all I'm. saying is is that I only wanted one. thing and I feel like I'm not going to. get the one thing that I asked you're. going to get the [ __ ] iPad okay it's. not the iPad what is it then PlayStation. five you're not going to get the PS5 I. know and and and it hurts me well that's.

not for a year I've been looking for one. it's the market I know but that's what I. wanted that's the market little boy you. can get one they're like five. grand. Bob but that's the thing it's like you. know it's my 50th birthday right why. can't somebody Splurge five grand that's. a lot of money Bobby you can afford a. [ __ ] PlayStation 5 so can you I know. but it's not my birthday I'm not going. to give myself a birthday present why it. is your birthday no I want someone to. give it to me okay all right. I respect it hey so we've been we've.

been following heavily the protest at. the CDC because Nicki Minaj said don't. get vaxed do you know this no people are. protesting at the. CDC because Nicki Minaj was like do make. your own decisions she's basically. saying don't get back yeah but so she so. she said that and then people are just. going to the CDC and protesting the CDC. yeah it's pretty funny it's actually. very funny to. me would you have not would you have. gotten vaxed if if you were single yeah. and you didn't have the family the kids.

and and I would have gotten backed you. would have done it anyway yeah but you. know what I'll I'll be honest with you. say it you're antia a little bit no I'm. not antia but I am getting to the point. and I don't know if it's my age but I'm. leaning toward just make your own. decisions well I feel that way yeah I. feel let people whatever you want to do. no but I've always Le so to the left but. I I honestly as I get older you're. becoming more concerned I'm coming. becoming a little bit more conservative. it's weird wow what else do you think.

you're more conservative on pretty much. everything like G you're against gay. marriage no not not the social issues. are you against gay right or here's what. I believe in this is what I believe in. yeah Freedom s oh I like this this. sounds like a little Fox News let's. listen I believe in Freedom right me too. so a woman's right to choose hell yeah. is freedom oh hell. no you're going to let them choose yeah. yeah no they can't drive they can't.

think um put that baby in the kitchen. the right to own firearms guns is. freedom okay so conser that's. conservative that is very conservative. all right so so kill your baby keep your. guns no no no that's what I'm saying. kill your baby keep your guns should be. regulations on guns on guns there are. but more a little bit more but I still. believe in the right to own. some okay I don't believe that somebody. needs a like AK-47 you know what I mean. well why not for hunting you ever shot. one they they feel good so fun they feel. so good don't they they're so fun.

I yeah yeah that's the problem yeah but. I think that um have one have more have. fun I think so let's go over the issues. that you are the far just let me just. get this point out is um I used to be. very far left M and because of cancel. culture it's pushing me to be abl Center. okay toward the center do you think you. would V if if Trump runs again will you. vote again will you V vote I hate him. he's he's he's are you sure I want to go.

January 6th I I wish I went what if he. has the same policies that what if he. starts saying stuff that you like like. what what if he's. like I'm fine women keep your babies. kill them do whatever you want gods are. good but he would never do that because. his platform is Christian right you know. what I. mean what if he flips the. script I think he would he wouldn't get. anybody then what's another conservative. issue that you think you're you're more. conservative about now then that you. were a Democrat about before or I mean. conservative I mean liberal about.

before well you know immigration I've. always had because I'm an ethnic person. and you know my parents came here and I. you want to stop that immediately no I. don't well you got in it's like let. [ __ ] the Asylum is fair I think you. we should keep that in the books but. it's like illegal Crossings is you know. illegal Crossings is bad it's not that. it's bad but it's like me we should be. able to um what shut him out kick him. back that's what I'm saying no that's. what I'm saying either what are you. saying I I personally believe. everything's fine at the border is.

it I don't know what you're doing I. don't know what I'm doing I don't really. don't know what you're doing no I don't. either I'm asking you yeah what's going. I don't like talking about this [ __ ]. right here because why it's fun I don't. like talking about this [ __ ] because I. just feel like people are going to be. like you're idiot you [ __ ] don't know. your they're all IDI everyone's IDI I. can feel myself like kind of drifting. toward a center Rudy how do you feel. about IM illegal. immigrants I feel like. they need to have citizenship because.

they work here yeah they try. to serve Americans so I think they need. to have. citizenship. okay that was a political answer that's. a pretty good one because she said she. didn't really take a stance on it yeah. are you again how do you feel about gay. rights I love gays perfect yeah that. says everything I love gays as well. I don't know I do I don't know up hey if.

your credit card is uh up up up up you. need to use upstart and uh heal it a. little bit um it can feel like you're in. a never- ending cycle of debt Bob and I. have talked about it on the show if if. if if you dread looking at your credit. card statements you're not alone debt. can feel crippling but upstart can help. you on your path to financial freedoms. so many Americans experienced financial. hardship in the last year we all know. upstar can help you regain your footing. to get things back on track Bob and I. were both pretty broke um in the comedy.

world we had some heavy struggles and I. got to tell you my credit score uh was. dropping super low in one time I had um. uh thousands of dollars in debt and I. didn't know what to do and upstart is. the place to help you get through those. things unlike other lenders they. consider your income and current. employment to find you a smarter rate. for your loan five minute online Rate. Check you can see your rate Upfront for. loans between $1,000 to $50,000 you can. receive funds as fast as one business. day after accepting your loan find out. how upstart can lower your monthly. payments today when you go to. upstart.com / badri that's upstart.com. badri don't forget to use our URL to let.

them know we sent you Lo detered based. on your credit income and certain other. information provided in your loan. application go to upstart.com. badri oh buddy hey are you afraid of. glow in the dark well Shield your eyes. cuz the new meundies Halloween just. dropped love I like scaring KET in the. dark with my comfortable underwear. there's one collection you don't want to. ghost it's this one my friends uh we've. been wearing me Mundi since we've uh. gotten together also they sent them to. us from this show and they're so. uncomfortable and nice like little Pooch.

for your penis it's the only underwear. that I personally wear because I need. comfort when I'm performing and when I'm. doing my exercises during the day your. exercises what you mean I do pelons oh. you oh you pelons me are great they're. stretchy they're movable they're. comfortable whether you're out uh. outrunning a killer or being abducted by. aliens this Halloween be comforted by. the fact that your undies are. sustainable and the softest in town made. from natural fiber source from Beachwood. trees that micro Modell fabric soft. breathable and dangerously cozy my. friend they got them from sizes extra. small all the way up to 4 XL like Rudy.

there are a lot of options to consider. meand has a great offer for our. listeners firsttime purchasers you get. 15% off and free shipping meundies also. has a promise if you're not satisfied. with any product for any reason you can. return it full refund within 45 days to. get 15% off your first order free. shipping and 100% satisfaction. guaranteed go to meundies.com. badri that's meundies.com badri yeah did. you vote for the recall of Gavin new I. did yesterday a little too late but we. did it and who did you say did you I. just put no on the one thing wait so you.

said no to the recall yeah you didn't. want to recall him no I like him I. recalled him why Caitlyn Jenner what. mean Caitlyn Jenner Caitlyn Jenner was. on that list of people that were running. against him I want to recall new and put. Caitlyn no but it was Larry Elder you. know what what no Larry Elder was one of. the names on the list there was a. massive list of names you could have. picked from Caitlyn Jenner was one of. the names and I voted for Caitlyn I. didn't know that if I knew that she was. on there if I knew I think I you're were. against trans rights and you're against. trans that's what my girlfriend say push.

your girlfriend's trans what are you. trying to say no no she gave me the. you're against the trans Community gave. me the [ __ ] the the the ballot and. she told you what to do I was playing. [ __ ] a game on my phone oh my God. just listen to what happened you bigot I. was playing a game on my phone you voted. to keep a white straight mail in office. instead of putting in someone like. Caitlyn Jenner I didn't know you make me. sick dude [ __ ] you I didn't know a white. straight male another Poway High San. Diego's finest. that's what you did I was playing a game. on my phone and you didn't even pay.

attention she threw a [ __ ] ballot. down on my phone and what did she she. said vote no I put no down did she say. there was no other other things that I. could [ __ ] put I am up put it in the. [ __ ] mailbox all right so we'll just. get another white straight mail running. this country into the [ __ ] [ __ ] you. who gives a [ __ ] I don't give a [ __ ] you. what yeah [ __ ] you so you heard it here. first [ __ ] you Bobby Lee Pro guns and. anti I'm tired of this he's Pro guns. he's anti-trans that's what he said. against trans people can I that's what. you are you didn't good last night what. do you mean I can tell in your eyes why.

yeah you're grumpy and you didn't sleep. all last night and be honest wait don't. deflect because you didn't V I didn't no. don't do this I don't know anything. about it wait let me say something no. just because you just because you're SLE. because you're against grumpy and and I. don't know what you're doing so sleep. well next time and then we'll meet okay. you do know what I'm doing no I don't. yes I'm what happened last night that. you are what happened last night Pro did. you sleep well last night you are pro. white power oh you're white power now a. white power guy wait you need to be on. ambient to sleep are you a white power.

guy you need to get rest I think you're. overwork I think you you rest you're. overwork and you have a lot of stress in. your life why are you against the trans. Community I love them why did you vot. then why didn't you why didn't youe I. didn't know what the [ __ ] want. another white straight he's. cute he's cute this is's cute as [ __ ]. Fox News is he not cute he's okay yeah I. think Caitlyn is way prettier I know but. in terms of Governors it's like who.

would you all right listen to this uh. who would I rather have someone that. snuck away during the middle of Co to go. to French Laundry to eat dinner or. Caitlyn Jenner good food in the middle. of Co when he told everyone not to leave. their house he went and ate [ __ ]. dinner while Caitlyn while Caitlyn was. changing the [ __ ] time changing. Society bro this is say I'm sorry on. your camera to Caitlyn Jennifer not I'm. sorry Caitlyn but I did see her. documentary I love it okay say it to her. I love your documentary I love it the. way you throw that. pole the way she threw the pole when she.

was Bruce not pole not no not no I know. what it sounded. like the way you threw the pole oh boy. oh boy at the Montreal Olympics when you. were. Bruce wow that's crazy to say so. insensitive why the way he ran around. Bruce is dead Caitlyn's now I know but. still Bruce is inside a little it him a. little inside I don't think so pal pal I.

don't think so buddy pal pal let me ask. you this is your home life is your home. life stressful and you can't get rest. are you trying to dig out of this hole. right now I'm not I'm not in the so deep. in this I feel so good about it Bobby. Bobby Bobby and I'm going to be like I'm. up here I'm above you I'm not even in. the hole okay right you're in the hole B. buddy right you're in the hole dude it's. like dude honestly like for me to work. with you you need to get more rest I. love it I love it honestly I love that. you're the way you are look at me yeah I.

love it what do you love I love what do. you [ __ ] love you I love holding that. against you that you voted for Gavin. Newsome and not and not Caitlyn Jenner. anyway or Larry Elder who who's a black. male so instead of a black guy or a. trans woman you wanted a white you. wanted a white straight hetero toxic. male that's all I want to say all I'll. admit to you than this that's all I want. to say all right number one okay you got. my money and my vote. Caitlyn listen Okay I I I I don't know a.

lot about Governors but I know Greg. Abbott I know Ronda santz no just listen. right I know Brian Kemp right he's a. governor as well right you have Texas. Georgia Florida right and Gavin new line. those four [ __ ] up right kill them. Gavin's the cutest one okay fine will. you admit that yes out of the four you. know what you're right he's the cutest. one and that's what I was holding on to. okay okay okay so I know it seems. shallow it's not yeah yeah it's right in.

line with your your normal my my way of. thinking yes right I would never [ __ ]. the other. three Kemp what about Caitlyn yeah but I. didn't know Caitlyn was in it I [ __ ] now. you do would you have sex who would you. have sex over Caitlyn or or Gavin. Newsome probably Caitlyn because I'm not. gay that sounded weird wait wait that. sounded weird no no that sounded weird. okay what I meant to say is I'm.

disappointed in you Barbie I know I know. that Caitlyn is is more feminine and. that's what I would probably be drawn to. yeah and and Gavin is not as feminine. okay I wouldn't [ __ ] any of them all. right I don't even what we're talking. about I don't even know why we're here. at this point where you're accusing me. this this segment has made me so happy I. know it hurts me though and my throat's. [ __ ] and I I don't. happy. [Applause].

birthday happy birthday to you ready. happy birthday no not yet you [ __ ]. [ __ ] we have to finish singing before. you blow out the. candle did you make a wish. yeah happy birthday to you I think I'm. going have moved to New. York Bob yeah today just talk me what it. pushed me to New York I think what do. you mean your attitude what did I do you.

were just so like digging me and I just. I think I anyway thank you for the cake. what is it it's cupcakes it's delicious. eat it all right eat one you fat Fu. [ __ ] you know I don't like icing I. know neither do I yeah that's we have. something in. common eat it you know can I just say. something I I will eat it in a second. right. but but this tells me that's it was.

homemade no those are homemade no it's. not homemade wait those are homemade. cupcakes this tells me you got this at. either VES or some gral or some exuse me. excuse me those were homemade cupcakes. why is it frozen solid because I put. them in my fridge so they wouldn't go. bad freezer I put them in my fridge so. they wouldn't go bad my fridge is cold. so this is um all right those are made. those are. homemade thank you did you like it yeah. good Rudy do you want one yeah throw her.

one all right well throw her the whole. thing I don't need it you want me to. throw it at her no don't throw it at her. please okay. here [ __ ] all. right okay. okay hold on oh it is frozen yeah yes. yeah. okay this don't throw it here you. go just throw it gentle very good nice. catch nice catch happy birthday Bob. thank you um but I have been like um all.

week long I've been on the. pelaton you been trying to get back in. shape I'm trying to do because I I just. um I want to last a little longer you. know I want to last a little longer big. red what do you mean that was the old. theme song remember that why last a. little longer go fast a little. longer longer with big red big. you know what my favorite do the theme. song to Big Red my favorite theme song.

was do you remember the old sugarcan. commercial from Hawaii wait for what for. Hawaiian rolls no for sugarcane for. Hawaiian sugarcane no wait I will forget. well let me play well let me hear it I. no because once I started talking and I. didn't know what I was talking about I I. lost the tune. CN cnh pure cane sugar that's the one. when was that you remember that c puree.

sugar that's the. one what yeah you don't remember that c. p sugar that's the one is that from 1976. I wasn't alive yet yeah I was born C it. P sugar that's the one yeah that's it. look at how cute that is from 1976 rice. rice aroni the San Francisco the San. Francisco tree ding ding I was going to. say that you were off rhythmically no no. no let me do it right okay try it rice. aroni the San Francisco tree no the San.

Francisco wait hold on hold on let let. me do my version you do your version and. then you will go to the YouTube right. and you be the judge. okay rice oon the San Francisco treat. rice oon the San Francisco treat ding. ding okay. [Music].

there it is I just did it right that's. it rice right it was a m closer right. rice aroni the San Francisco treat yours. is like the San Francisco is [ __ ] a. minute. long I'm right that I wasn't born I know. but I 1962 right I don't I cuz the newer. one I think is slower by by men Yeah by. men that's that was pretty clear what. about. uh.

um you got to see the show they're they. go back and forth for about 25 minutes. about about um commercial. Jingles this [ __ ] show I know it's. great it's great people want to hear it. I know people do yeah people what wait. what's the other one that I was just. thinking of I don't know I don't I'm not. I don't live inside your [ __ ] stupid. head. 588 2300. what what come on 588 to.

300 Empire empire that right know yeah I. know that one yeah yeah so. 588. 2300 Empire that's a good one today to. there's a today after that I think he. says today yeah the little guy he goes. today today and there is there already. does Coca-Cola have one yeah what um co. uh Coca-Cola is. always great wait it's it's always great.

always refreshing we don't like. blacks oh yeah that was it always great. always refreshing we don't don't like. blacks or. Hispanics at the end the 1983 ver they. added they added Hispanics we don't like. blacks oranic or or or the Asians yeah I. remember that that's Coca-Cola what was. what was Pepsis oh yeah Pepsis was like. um.

um oh goodbye he had a mission he had a. mission to go to do Pepsis Pepsi Pepsi. Cola. [Laughter]. Pepsi Pepsi Pepsi Cola. Pepsi because everything everything that. I have in my head is cancelable so I'm. like I I'm editing you know what I mean. well it's not you that said it Pepsi. said it oh yeah Pepsi didn't say Pepsi.

said it not you yeah yeah Pepsi Pepsi. you the Pepsi Bob sing the jingle you. know the jingle as well right you. finished it off but you're a better. singer I know but I you should finish up. because you love Pepsi so much you love. Pepsi so much you're so obsessed with. Pepsi you like Pepsi more should finish. the jingle right Pepsi Pepsi I'll see. the beginning part Pepsi Pepsi Cola. Pepsi Jews are the worst no that's. wasn't that it what was.

it that was the worst Pepsi Pepsi Cola. Pepsi oh my God oh my God Pepsi Pepsi. Cola Pepsi stop stop stop that was so. wrong what was there. Pepsi Pepsi Cola Pepsi say it they they.

had the Asian one oh what was that one. peps. pep p. p Cora peps Pepsi nip [ __ ] zipper. head let me ask you what they have in. the Philippines do they have Pepsi in. the Philippines yeah do look obviously. they have Coke MH do they have Dr Pepper. in the Philippines. I've never tried oh my oh my God they.

don't have Dr how about Mountain Dew. yeah we have do they have Mr PB in the. Philippines that's like Dr Pepper's. little [ __ ] all right so um do they. have what else would be orange. crush no holy [ __ ] seven up there's. seven up Sprite got to be there's got to. be spr Coke owns that yeah yeah there's. got to be Sprite what about is there one. that you don't think that we have. here um. was that. orange or orange crush that's what he.

was saying Crush no it's not Orange. Crush it's another. name I forgot the names of. it thanks for being here Rudy think Rudy. I mean the contribution it's is just. excellent through the roof it's through. the roof it's amazing so um when jwes. first came to America with her family. yeah Statue of Liberty they were in LA. and I go let's go get some pizza so we. went and got deep dish pizza from. Chicago from that place in Echo Park.

mosa or Masa Masa you been there oh kid. great right yeah it's delicious we get. the pizza I'm going [ __ ] yeah on their. side they probably ate one piece and. they were just like this why were they. so sad because they don't they that's. not the kind of pizza they have in the. Philippines oh right deep dishes not. they don't have that for sure but they. have what do you have they like they. have round in that sort of classy place. just really thin pizza right like New.

York style yeah but you didn't like the. deep dish at first I didn't now you do. see look at why now because you keep. buying it. over see I'm conditioning her yeah what. else can you condition her to do oh I. can condition her to do a lot of things. right like what um get a job pay rent. maybe I think you should start paying. rent that's my opinion you know you know. what I would like to do is this just a. very simp simple thing just you know. what you want our relationship to get. better do.

you. okay I don't know how many times I have. to tell you yesterday I get in the car. and there's one bar. left on the gas tank every time she. [ __ ] uses the car dude fill up the. tank we've done this before how come you. haven't filled up the [ __ ]. tank do you not know how to get gas I do. I just get. tired you think Bobby doesn't get tired. Bobby's got to go do work after after we. pod he's got to go do shows so now.

what it's full tank right now yeah I did. that lady what were you going to say I. know right say it it's your birthday. [ __ ] there it is you know what you. [ __ ] [ __ ] yep it's my [ __ ] I filled. it yep cuz I'm responsible every time I. have to [ __ ] fill the [ __ ] tank up. preach right and let me say something. right now in your buggies or whatever. you have in the Philippines mhm let it. out right I don't know what you feel in. those right you probably have little.

little filipinos with little wheels you. know I mean underneath the engine you. know what I mean like 15 of them going. you know I mean and but we use gasoline. in that's right light her up yeah we. lose gasoline light her up yeah yeah I. will right you [ __ ] [ __ ]. yeah you [ __ ] feel the [ __ ] tank. next time you all right you. ungrateful let it out [ __ ] yes do you. understand right you don't don't pay. nothing you pay nothing give it to her. Bob yeah yeah do.

you I don't oh now now what is that. about now you've what you there's. something going on in your head are you. getting angry right now no okay you know. what you look like your mom right. now that makes her angry you remember. how she roasted you a couple episodes. ago she called me a fat ugly. stupid yeah so now it's your turn to. roast her it's your birthday all right. cuz we're get to blank it out we'll beep. out whatever you don't want to leave in.

you roast her okay light her up dude you. [ __ ]. mhm hairless cave. woman mud mud monkey mud monkey dirt. squirting dirt squirting [ __ ]. Neanderthal [ __ ] eating right [ __ ]. hairless turd. [ __ ] you is that good that's so good. good right yeah that's what you are do.

me do me do me it's your birthday goaded. [ __ ] mutant you know what I mean. demons spawning [ __ ] Cy eating. right you [ __ ] Spanish [ __ ] mole. eating [ __ ] drool [ __ ] you I mean you. [ __ ] gigantism titty [ __ ] hoarding. titty hoing titty maker piece of garbage. human pretty good right feels good man.

yeah doesn't it feel good it feels good. to do it she got it out she got it out. yeah these guys compiled some comedians. for Rudy to roast cuz she roasted you. Rudy you want to roast Comics that we're. friends with and see what you can come. up with I'll try let me see Pete bring. it up Pete decided that she was so good. at roasting you she did I'm not going to. lie she lit you the [ __ ] up oh I loved. it though I mean it felt really good I L. it I loved it all right let's see who. she can roast. go it's got to be rapid roast fast H I.

just want to describe him yeah that's. what roast is describe him. okay uh wrinkly oh good yeah he's a. wrinkly bastard yeah thin lips yeah yeah. you wrinkly thin lip hairy. hairy yeah and one. more pale skin pale skin SK next say. next next next how about this one be. careful it's their. holiday come on say it go ahead come on.

you. yeah say yeah you can say want because. we're going to blank out whatever BL out. whatever bad yeah you. Jewish that's I mean you could just end. there you could just end there next how. about this one yeah fat yeah. mhm I I like. BT man all right next you say next you.

say next here we go hairless yes. chipmunk. yes big eyes big eyes yeah yeah tarer. all right know what that is I don't know. what what is that a small monkey oh oh. okay [ __ ] what about this she didn't say. next you got to let her say next next. yeah this one look at this. one he looks weird EX come on come on. you weird weird you you say you remember.

how you're doing you weird small. headed. yes hairless hairless yeah you like hair. yeah. yeah stupid face stupid face he's stupid. face yeah hit him next go for the throat. go to the throat he's a piece of [ __ ] go. for the Thro go for the throat yeah oh. no yeah you can light It Go Go. you know what it is you know what it is. say it yeah say it what's the first. thing that comes in mind say it yeah.

what's the first thing comes in mind say. it you yes. M big yes yeah very big very big can I. say yeah yeah yeah yeah we'll bleep it. bleep it we'll bleep. it come on Rudy hit him hairry yeah big. nose yes. weird yeah well you could also say like. [ __ ] or you can add that stuff too for. fun [ __ ] ass [ __ ] [ __ ] ass next.

please get it come on get her please get. it get her you long. face. yeah um [ __ ]. [ __ ] that's it next oh [ __ ] here we go. Pete no. eyebrows he doesn't have any eyebrows. that's weird that's weird no lips.

yeah [ __ ] face yeah another [ __ ] face. okay next. next do you know who that is no you. don't know who that is he's been on our. show he was just at the house Rick. Glassman oh that's he doesn't look like. Rick yeah he looks exactly like Rick. yeah that looks like Rick all right go. ahead you. nerd yeah. [ __ ] big. nose thin lips.

again. um that's it I'm could say this though. um you know why people you're saying. thin lips a lot it's just because you're. from a big lipped people I just feel. like he doesn't have lips she's not. wrong I know she's not wrong but feel. it's a bias we all have small lips it is. part of our it's it's one of our white. privileges you know who that is the yeah. yeah weird looking yeah.

uhuh. um I don't like the hair okay okay. lesbian hair lesbian hair yeah lesbian. hair I don't like the yeah oh you don't. like the smirk so so so so do that smirk. hav smirk hav yeah thick thick neck. thick neck thick neck yeah weirdo yeah. yeah next bless you whatever the [ __ ].

that was was that a sneeze yeah I sneeze. weird next next damn dude she's all. right I like Tom [ __ ] that you have to. roast these guys [ __ ] this piece of [ __ ]. I like him look at his look at the head. of a [ __ ] penis but it's cute it's a. all right you like him yeah he's nice to. you all right [ __ ] fine fine we love. him you know who that is no Tony. Hinchcliffe yeah he loves Asians. he really does he loves.

them yeah he's a real. Ally he looks like a mouse. okay but like with a long face yeah okay. he has big. lips but that's a positive right no cuz. it doesn't look nice on him oh oh you. should have thin lips in yeah yeah I get. it yeah yeah yeah so if he has big lips. it's bad if he has thin lips it's bad. yeah yeah I got it yeah yeah that's it. that's it that was great that's a way to. end way to end holy [ __ ] Rudy oh can we.

show something real fast P bring up the. bring up the or I mean um Andreas bring. up the advice or actually I have it I. have it listen to this we got something. about about your forkin from last week. or two weeks ago whatever I know long. forkin solution so I just recently went. through a period where my wiener was. trapped behind some excess skin like. mine yeah yeah mine was not due to age. since I'm only 28. okay rude he doesn't need to he didn't. need to do that yeah yeah rude slamming. long story short that's very funny use.

of words I was using a penis enlarging. device called the quick extender Pro and. all it did was stretch out the length of. my penis around my length of the skin. around my penis so I was stuck with a. lot more skin than when I started with. the same siiz penis I've been to a. doctor and I'm now scheduled for a. circumcision to bring my pecker back to. the original picture he didn't include a. picture and by back in the picture I. mean not trapped behind the skin it's a. bad joke I have a couple of tricks to. you I use to keep the the head from. sinking back into my penis skin so there.

is a community that's like you you're. not alone there's a bunch of guys I. didn't think I was the only one in the. world well but I'm just I try okay first. of all I was trying to be comforting and. let you know that there is some other. guys out there that have some penis. problems and uh so this but he he's. going to go through surgery though you. think I need surgery but if I what I. would do first is I would go get one of. these Pro penis the quick extender Pro. penis machine so at least you get a. bigger penis before you get surgery cuz. you got got to get it extended before. you clip it down why it's already. extended the skin you don't have enough. to work with I'm saying swell how do you.

know this about your penis yeah I've. seen it oh that's right yeah there's not. much there so then I think we should buy. you thise don't say that in that way. though there's not much there it's not. is it small it's not small it's but it's. not big just be real with me your penis. for your height and weight and and. um ethnic background is probably. average okay I'll take that that's fine. I'll take that but but but when your. penis is being buried in its own skin. we're worried so we're going to buy this.

for you yeah if you will use it will you. prise use it I'll use it the penis. enlarging kit it comes with a DVD okay. do you have a DVD player no okay well. we'll have to get you DD bu me a DVD. player as well but the results are. guaranteed so we want you to use the. penis and larg kit okay okay maybe one. yeah I do want you to use it though it. does work you feed your feed your body. feed your penis get penis biger okay. I'll do it yes all right anyway thank. you for let her let let let her take us. out we actually have it on the. soundboard so all of us look into the.

camera and let her do it on the. soundboard go ahead smile big thank you. for being a bad friend perfect perfect. that's so. good why is your [ __ ] thumb blue is. that like a David CH thing shut up man. it is isn't it it's David this is the. dumbest thing I've ever what is it then. why the [ __ ] is your finger because it's. it's there's got Stu there's stuff on it. I'm trying to cover it so you put. thumbnail I mean nail polish on it yeah. why why don't you just leave it alone.

cuz I it's my body I can do whatever the. [ __ ] I want with but why nail polish. because it was just sitting there I live. with a bunch of girls yeah right I think. we're losing you no you going to go. Bruce Jenner Caitlyn Jenner on no oh I. get a yellow. one I get a yellow one some things are. on purpose. y.

woo woo.