Bobby Lee Rocks the Scissor Bros | Ep 68 | Bad Friends

you two are bad friends who are these. two idiots. white dude i'm an asian dude you two. are disgusting well you two or something. we're bad. friends. [Music]. you're my friend.

be very bad. probably the best friend. [Music]. you look like. muppet you look like godzilla's pre-cum. steepy weepy is.

[Music]. you got a baby you. got a baby. and you got a lady. [Music]. and she's gone she's. in vegas all the guys are hitting on her. right now.

[Music]. he's jerking off on her chest. jerking off on her chest. brendan chubb wants to [ __ ] her too. brendan shaw was. all night long. he's got a very very big muscular penis.

he wants to incident her insert inside. her. filipino flower his dick has deltoids. bad friends bad friends. [Music]. fancier. you gonna sing a lyric using the next. four next do you see the next using the. next. chunk go ahead they can't hear you do.

something yeah take mask off. but what do you think the basket. [Music]. my friend andrew yeah he is a ginger. yeah yeah. colder than winter yeah yes. bad friends. my brother bobby brother bobby.

he has a tummy he has a tummy. bad friends bad friends. bad friends bad friend. last name santino. has red pews downstairs. downstairs he has freckles too. bobby has gang green on his feet.

it smells like diarrhea. and fungus don't talk about my feet okay. his feet are so gross bad friends. jeremiah talk about my bad friends. don't talk about jeremiah's next.

[Music]. we did it welcome jules good to see you. hi okay good what's up andrew. no no yeah let's start okay let's not do. that okay all right. you know let's see it's good to see i. love you and my family and i love you. the most take the wig off. you play jeremiah now um why don't we. start off um. with a little prayer oh yeah i brought a. knife.

oh you still want to do the video oh. just for one more minute. yeah yeah okay go let's start with the. prayer. okay uh dear heavenly father. thank thank you for uh blessing us today. and uh allowing me to see my brother. i am going to get vaccinated soon are. you really gonna. yeah i am i know you know yeah my friend. my friend eric is working on it as we. speak we're waiting. clinic wait eric eric works at a clinic.

he knows someone at a clinic right you. but you could just. anyway okay so this is my prayer though. yeah all right. prayer this is my prayer yours thank you. um thank you for allowing jeremiah to be. here today. rudy thank you bobby thank you for. like allowing us to start caesar bros. podcast together. yeah uh and thank you for our health and. that we're allowed to podcast. during the these times these times thank.

you for. allowing us to have food in our systems. every day. yeah in our bodies yeah we need. and thank you for the sun light. whoa that you know a lot of people don't. ever think the sun. oh yeah yeah yeah without the sun what. happens you die. maybe you will okay yeah yeah. and then do the closer we say this in. your name. let's do our god how do you do what's. the song. how does it go our god is an awesome god.

he runs from heaven above all right. right okay. yeah i love it i love it because do you. still believe in jesus. no whatever what happened because you. were so devout. oh i got brainwashed oh yeah okay good. yeah that allowed me. not to get girls in high school you.

already know yeah yeah yeah. yeah you probably do you jerk off still. every night you know what i was. i was standing for months you know that. yeah i know you were doing good. for like two three months you were doing. good i followed it brother. whatever in a major i just got you know. yeah yeah. yeah but dude like you because i've done. that i think i've lasted myself about. 27 days it's difficult i was doing. meetings and everything. oh you were oh yeah yeah zoom meetings.

all that yeah. knows the baby jeremiah how is it. is it a boy or girl it's a boy so happy. yeah and so excited. yeah what's the boy's call i texted. bobby and he didn't respond. his name is wilder what that's a great. name like gene wilder yeah like wilder. watkins wilder watkins that's a great. name. wilder j watkins yeah strong wow did you. did you have an argument with your girl. about that. no we came up with it together oh she. was like who said it first though. she did she brought up we were watching.

a gene wilder move and she goes what. about wilder i go. i love that's great yeah i love how that. happens yeah yeah yeah. because i'm glad you it's not like you. know the standard like call it. jeremiah because you're first born right. and that's gonna. oh you don't jeremiah jr no yes have you. been at the comedy stores. or any uh no it just opened up on. fridays and i went. last night and saturday it was just. weird it was good to be back just. i didn't perform i just went to hang out. what was the capacity there like how. many people were in the probably about.

in the main room probably about 75 80. people okay. yeah yeah that's yeah for the main room. but they were still like scattered. but it was good to see everybody i saw. you know the whole gang yeah. you know bill burr was there a bunch of. people and then last night i went to. you know brian monarch show down in. hollywood have you been to that one. supernova yeah i've done it a couple. times it's great. i mean it looks amazing it's an amazing. show i went there with spade and um. tim dillon yeah and um it was just. i just needed to go just to get my.

juices flowing i'm scared of it. okay i've done it in a while yeah i'm. scared of it are you rusty. yeah i'm rusty you are i don't know what. i'm you know i'm scared to do it. you're scared to do it so it's like your. open mic again. yeah i i feel like it no well settle. down. i'm sorry.

i feel like i see all the time because. we play warzone together every night. yeah but it's not the same i know. because you get annoyed by me. when we play warzone you just i feel. like you're not having fun anymore. you're doing cold war [ __ ] i'm not. having fun with you you're not you're. not enjoying resurgence. you know you know i know i'll take. well. just listen to what you're saying what. okay listen to what you're saying. okay and then put your age into it.

oh yeah yeah yeah so i'm 50 and we're. talking about. you know what i mean you're not funny oh. i know i'm a man child yeah i know but. it's like that i think that's a part of. it. yeah because when you and i you me and. and dylan. chemical engineering chemical. engineering. and then when whenever we drop into. chemical engineer you get really excited. like a little baby. yeah because i like going i have like a. yeah great you know what i mean i have a. routine what am i you know you have my. routine yeah you know what door to go. i know what chest is there yeah yeah.

i'll get my frog it makes me. want to vomit all right then then we. don't we could play no i want to put no. okay i've tried to play with steve. recently yeah what happened. no because we have a full squad he's. like i already have trios. yeah he's like i'm already yeah. exactly yeah but um are you really going. to get vaccinated be honest because. when i called you you're like um no i. don't know. i've actually don't i i'm going to i'm.

just lazy about it. i'm going to take him yeah i just sang. because. you do you said to me on the phone i. just want to. dude i'm not an anti-virus i'm not i'm. not saying i'm just saying. i'm going to get it i just said that. you've gone back to because well i don't. know what it does to the body. that's what you said so you know i've. been on youtube i don't know. no no no no i don't know what it does at. the bottom. no no no no the reptilian shit's. different.

the reptilian [ __ ] yeah it's different. i'm going to get vaccinations so you. don't need the republican alien racist. no. no no no i want to see mom yeah come on. oh you do yeah okay i text her every day. i do too every day she texts you first. right. absolutely she does these long oh i love. it inspirational. inspirational questions it's weird does. she send you emojis or bitmojis over no. quotes inspiration she does like she'll. have like it'll be like. um a photograph of a butterfly yeah and. i'll say.

you know today is the only day that we. have live in the moment. and they'll be using this butterfly yeah. i love it and then i don't know what the. textbook so i'm like i never heard that. before. [Laughter]. heart emoji what heart emoji. you send a heart emoji all every day. that's all you put you don't believe. i say i i do three or four i go i love. you mom. one day yeah i love you where's your. phone i'm i'm going to read you what. i've let's see if they're similar.

okay no i didn't say the same stuff yeah. yeah yeah i'm because i'm very similar. on mine too so let's do this right so. i'm gonna where's my mom where's mom mom. okay so so here here's mine right and. these are like. yours all right so. so she goes um well i'll you read three. or four i'll read three or four. just you wanna do responses here's my. response. okay three or four good night and dream. beautiful dreams. no read hers first or i'll start to give. context all right yeah yeah don't.

okay okay sorry you are here for a. reason there's nothing accidental about. you. there's a specific purpose assignment. and mission on earth. that only you can fulfill never doubt. your specialness. then i go good night and three beautiful. dreams. that's better than mine what is at okay. at cigna pharmacy. i picked up some medication and on the. way home i stopped at albertson's. and got some groceries yeah good night.

exclamation point. wishing you a peaceful night's rest. that's your response. no and then my response is you too oma. all right all right all right i'll give. you the one okay so this is. my mother's mom she does a dr seuss okay. she goes why. fit in when you were born to stand out. dr seuss. then she says stay safe and healthy good. night and sweet dreams love you. and then my response is that's a good. quote mom. hope everything is okay ask if you need.

something. you're doing way better than me come. come here give me um. time to go to bed stay safe and take. care. good night and sleep tight love you. in my response night mom. we'll wrap it up i'll do one more i'll. just do one more i'll wrap it up all. right.

93 degrees this is what she says 93. degrees right now i think the summer is. around the corner good night and sleep. tight. hope you're feeling good miss you so. much i love you with all my heart. you're killing me yeah go ahead um. it's windy outside but the temperature. is perfect today. take care and stay safe good night and. sleep tight. love you what's your response. love you omar.

but i left a heart emoji yeah but that's. i did a repeat. yeah you did a reason you know what. you're right i need to do more. thoughtful here. you know you know what it is i want to. do repeats too can i be honest yeah. since dad passed. yeah it's been tough you know like. because. i don't know how to communicate like. i don't know how to explain this but i i. think i just subconsciously keep it. brief like. so oh you're trying to detach does it. say when she dies no no.

no no nothing like that i think it's. just because i don't. i don't know what to say like i you know. your responses are way more thoughtful. no it's i'm i'm sitting there i spent 45. minutes on it. oh you do yeah oh no no mine's the. opposite i just go oh no no i just kind. of stare and i go. what do i say yeah right and sometimes. i'll rewrite it. yeah yeah yeah because i don't want to. i've wanted to do that. heart emojis or just i love you but i. don't i want her to think that like. you know i'm thinking about it a little.

bit you know yeah you know but do you. talk to her. i talked to her two weeks ago yeah do. you yeah. yeah oh yeah yeah what did you talk. about well just what she did. where she went and what she's watching. and. and all that yeah your mom texted me too. go ahead jeremy she said at the end of. hardship. comes happiness and it's a picture of a. yak. and then it says is steve vaccinated yet. [Laughter].

yeah yeah i knew yeah i'm sorry i love. you i love you. what's that oh yeah. did you see any movies um. what's that demon movie you told me to. see the taiwanese one. you already saw it that was scary let. the devil you okay. uh i saw uh justice league i know but. it's the only thing. um you know chris. stockman our our favorite reviewer he.

reviewed a movie called. the empty man have you seen that. jeremiah no it's. it okay so there's a okay if the movie. in itself is okay. but there's one scene in the empty man i. want you to see the movie. because there's one scene that's so. weird and creepy. is it a horror flick it's a horror film. yeah well like the empty man what do you. think. about i don't know that's philosophy. psychological thriller yeah. or maybe yeah yeah yeah but it's a. horror movie but there's this one scene. that's so scary but i want you to see.

the movie and then you'll call me. i can't believe you're here right i. can't believe i'm like i know you too. you love yourself of course i love you i. love your brothers. you know i haven't seen you in a while. why would you ask something like that i. haven't seen you in a while. what do you get angry about i'm just. getting emotional. this is beautiful idiot yeah i know it's. weird huh it's like um i haven't seen. what's the last time i saw you the last. time we met months. it's been months let me ask you. something yeah go ahead have you seen. what me and this guy's doing.

we're gonna promote your podcast no no. no no i just know just in passing just. in passing like just a general. response do you like it. oh i'll tell you something i wasn't. gonna say this but i'm gonna say. something to you. last night i was at the nova whatever. is that what it's called at that place. yeah spade and these. these two girls came up to me and they. were like. you look at me too okay so all right. respect. and these two girls came up to me and go.

oh my god what type of tiger family fans. and i go cool and they watch bad friends. and they were actually there to see tim. dillon. so i go um oh you like tim too. yeah can i take pho we take photos i go. yeah and then they pulled me aside and. they go. we're really hooked on scissor brothers. and i go what he's like yeah he goes. we think that that guy that has legs. yeah you're lying i am. oh were you wait what.

you like the whole thing you hooked us. i lied i did. mommy we believed. i'll be honest with you i'll be honest. with you obviously. dude what you just dude hurt me to the. freaking. corner i know it was fun though it hurt. me. or what you just did i know but could i. why did you do that can i just say this.

though. wow this was what you were warning me. about steve what that hurt me. so i'm sorry just take it no. pain is just running through my veins. my friend are you angry oh just so sad. guess what this guess what though. so sad guess what though what after this. if you guys want i'll take it to dinner. really. yeah you know what since you did this. yeah. i'm going to flip it on have you seen. our challenges yeah i saw your. challenges. i saw the one that was really funny that.

when you guys were. ate the i don't know what hot thing that. you ate hot sauce there's a hot sauce. what kind of hot sauce was it oh dude it. is this you got it from the farmer's. market yeah it's called. the hottest freaking hot the hot hottest. [ __ ] hot sauce right and. it made me i told you i called you about. that i made me laugh so hard. because what was that last thing that. you said when it was. you said you know it's not affecting me. yeah yeah yeah great. yeah yeah i feel really good i feel real. good i'll do boogers. yeah it was really funny and then when.

you put the stuff on your dick. we did a ben really good oh well we have. it i want we have a challenge today. for you can we do it if it hurts we'll. do it at the end. so that like i can no it'd be good to do. it now because you that because you that. what you did that hurt us dude. that hurt our feelings doordash bob. if you forgot something at the store uh. if you want snacks drinks household. essentials. in 30 minutes you can get that with. doordash if you don't know what doordash.

is come on dude what planet you. want chinese they want pizza you want. something crazy for crazy froyo. there's something for everyone at. doordash that's right doordash is gonna. focus on dinner so you can focus on. resolutions that matter. and getting your life together post. pandy. doordash connects you with the. restaurants you love right now right to. your door. and now you can get the grocery. essentials you need with doordash too. get drinks snacks and other household. items delivered in under. an hour we've got 300 000 partners in. u.s puerto rico canada australia you can. support your neighborhood go-to's. or choose from your favorite national.

restaurants like popeyes. and cheesecake factory for a limited. time only our listeners get 25. off and zero delivery freeze on their. first order uh 15. or more when you download the doordash. app and enter code. bad friends 20 21. again download the. doordash app and enter the code bad. friends 2021. you'll get 25 off and zero delivery fees. and your first order of 15. or more liquid iv i have i have it. almost every single day uh liquid iv.

created hydration multiplier plus immune. support to maintain and strengthen your. immune system look everyone's freaking. out. right now and everyone wants to stay. healthy because you know we just went. through. pandy and the hydration multiplier plus. immune support is a cutting edge blend. of vitamin c zinc and wellmune. in convenient single serving packets to. help strengthen your immune system you. take them with you on the go. and they have great you know what i. drink i like it you know i know it's. good for the body but they have great. flavor yeah they all they have flavors. vitamin c the flavors like tangerine. that's what it is you know i wanted to. say vitamin c.

okay liquid iv can provide two to three. times more hydration than water alone. you know what i love huh zinc and zinc. is good for you it's the most. abundant trace mineral in your bodies. and it supports your immune systel. system. and health functions wow well liquid iv. has donated over four million servings. and response to kobe 19 by the way. they're doing good. uh they're the company has donated over. 10 million servings globally. they're giving back but they've also. donated four million servings in. response to the kova 19. and products are being donated to. hospitals first responders. food banks veterans and active metal.

military yeah active military get your. liquid iv hydration multiplier plus. immune support in bulk at costco. or order it online and get 25 off when. you go to liquidity.com and use the code. bad friends at checkout that's 25 off. anything you order when you get better. hydration today using promo code. badfriends.liquidiv.com. what is that what is it. tiger tiger bomb and then where did with. the tiger bomb.

what do you put ask me again i i why. okay. where do you put the toggle tiger ball. our nuts. okay so uh. we're it's one for all every man for. himself so we're brothers. we're brothers but i haven't won a. challenge. so it's every man okay you put this let. me just. let me let me ask the rules this is. going to be great no let me ask the. rules. let me ask the rules yeah so you see me. put the stuff on my nuts.

yeah we're gonna uh so uh we can't do it. on camera. but i just need to know it's oh they'll. censor it later we just stand up and. possibly look at it. yeah yeah so you have to um with your. left hand. grab it like a tennis racket. [Laughter]. evenly hold up dude you made me do the. bend game when i was a kid. i know i made you you owe me but you can. i grab my nuts the way i want to grab. that. you can grab the weight but yeah yeah. you have to nicely coat it easy it can. be a racquetball racket. a badminton ring i was thinking more.

ping-pong yeah yeah. we're all gonna do it together but. you're not going to put it on my. no of course not every man. every man for himself you put it on my. sack. what the [ __ ] yeah that's not sanitary. yeah yeah you put it on my sack. you want to get covered what if i have. copies yeah i'm vaccinated. but dude i might have some other [ __ ] no. you don't want that you're putting it on. no i'm not i'm not putting this on your. nut sack why. that's [ __ ] dude that's not sanitary.

jeremy just lost the challenge wait what. i have to do it. come on you're my scissor bro. come on you be a friend you're backed. right jared. yes yeah you put on my nut sack you're. vast that's. i've been in prison longer yeah let's.

look at comedy let's just. let me let's look at comedy like a. prison okay. i was i've been in prison longer so i. know the ropes you know i mean i have. some power in prison right. and you're a new inmate we don't [ __ ]. each other. the first year i [ __ ] you. jeremiah you're my brother dude you. gotta do it you gotta do it. you're vaccinated why won't you do it. but he's vaccinating i know what. nobody is gay you think he's gay no. no i don't no it's just it's just i'm. not he's more suitable.

i'll make you a deal i'll do it right. what if he gets a nut and i get a nut. okay that's fine we'll spread it that's. all right you get one okay i'll get one. nut you get and then i get one all right. that's the thing. dude that's respect bro that's you. complete respect you get the best of. because it'll be good. it's great content man it's great so so. what are the rules i. you put it on my nutsack and then we. continue and we put it on ours too and. then we continue to podcast. no but the thing is whoever wipes it off.

how do you wipe it uh george do you have. baby wipes. [Laughter]. so george what i need from you uh take a. couple paper. paper towels i'll go to the sink uh. dab the towels with some cold water. okay okay help me with this and then uh. have them ready the first person have. them ready. on the table who wipes them the first. person it might be quick who loses. i'm going to want to win i'm going to.

want to win i know but no. okay so you get enough first you put it. on first but jeremiah you have to be you. have to get a nut. put it on a nut okay okay but you guys. put it on yourselves first and then put. it on me no. but no we have to do it we have to kind. of do it simultaneously this is a love. triangle yeah it's a love choice. all right so we're all going to put our. nut sacks out yes and then. i'll stick so you'll stick it on one and. i'll just put it on the other. yeah but then you'll put if you don't. put it on yours though oh. dude i if you don't put it if you double.

my. sack if you double my sack and then you. guys don't put it on yours. we're shutting this thing down oh and i. know there's a problem i know. i know there's a problem i'm gonna be. like that i'm gonna go like like. i'll be i'm gonna watch i'm gonna see. you do the whole thing oh yeah yeah oh. absolutely no you know what you know how. about that you do half a sack. right and then i want to see you do the. whole thing and then because i. did you gotta be uh all right let's just. do it this is this is gonna be a. disaster dude. this is gonna be a disaster get it right.

you're not doing my day. go first. [Music]. i don't feel anything i don't feel. anything. do you feel anything god damn it.

i don't feel anything well we might have. to change it then no no we're not. changing no no no. no we do i don't feel anything i know. that's why we have to change it wait. wait. you don't come up no wait oh no wait. wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait. wait wait i feel so i feel something. i feel something i feel something i. definitely feel something yeah i feel. something now. i definitely i feel it isn't it fun. though. it's not fun it's not fun steve. it's really it's not fun it's not fun. do you guys give up no i don't give up.

i'm not giving up let's continue. okay yeah yeah i'll continue oh. that's cool what it's a cool like a cold. wind yeah it's like um my. balls got in a fight with sub-zero mine. feels like a microwave i don't know what. you guys are. burning and freezing at the same time. yeah it burns and freezes. yeah so anyway let's continue. so the baby is it.

hold on okay so the baby. no hold on is the baby cry at night. yeah yeah yeah it does it does yeah. you guys can't handle it i i can handle. it we might be good no. we have to raise it up a couple notches. though. because it it i feel it but i think we'd. feel it more in our butt. i'm not putting it in my butt come on. dude we already get on my sash this is. great content. i'm telling you this is great.

man people would love this to see this. i don't understand how you're not. feeling it i don't understand. yeah yeah it feels good steve it's. getting hot in here dude. yeah it's so bad it is how about your. baby and. yeah about this no no no no no no no no. no no no no no. no no no no stop stop don't don't don't. no let's just let's think about this. no i want we'll raise it up are you. getting hot.

oh yeah so no so jeremiah jeremiah. let's just do this okay. well it's just you know promotion. promotion baby you know we need help. jeremiah. let's just do this pretend you're in an. acting scene okay right this is this. podcast is a film okay right. steven spielberg is directing and you. cannot. you know let anyone know no what you're. doing right now yeah.

to try to no you're not i can still see. that you're suffering. so right now if they if people tuned in. right now to the podcast. they would see the lee brothers as if. nothing happened but they. they would look at you and they'd be. like oh my god that guy's i'm going. through something i'm perfectly normal. okay so um. you want me to do an acting scene no. just just just pretend it's not. happening. so your baby.

no sure you guys this is not strong we. got to do something. next then the butthole how we did the. bengay. we got to do the whole the thing you. know or else we're just half-assed doing. it. so. so go back in the corner guys come on.

please. please. but no [ __ ] no but if penis no. no [ __ ] i won't do my [ __ ] okay. all right. okay but we'll do we have to do our oh. we can't touch we're not going to take. it. i have to see you do it first and you go. forward.

so anyway so the baby is is your baby a. crier. does it cry at night yeah occasionally. but are you are you staying up like who. who's in charge of staying. up who's in charge of staying up. is it you and your wife you have to. share duties it's mainly my wife because. i've been. busy editing the scissor brothers. podcast oh yeah yeah. and then i like i had a gig in uh uh. ventura last night so she watched the.

baby while i was i was gone doing shows. oh cool man. yeah yeah man. you can't think your brain is frozen. i know i wouldn't drive you i'm a. perfectionist. i'm a professional the fear has stopped. i'm a professional. i'm afraid yeah so for me you know i'm. going. hurts does your penis hurt now. yes it doesn't get better yeah so what.

i'm saying to you. is what i'm saying is i'm going. stop let's be serious yeah yeah you know. let's start over. and i want people to feel sweet. i want people right now let's start over. i'm going to start the podcast over. and let's make people pretend that we. didn't do it okay. all right so here we go right five four. three. we're bad friends hey welcome to another. episode of reference. and we've got uh my brother steve.

haven't seen you in once. yeah yeah and we've got um jules there. jules is there yeah yeah hi hi. yeah yeah hi hello jules welcome back i. mean well hello. um anyway so you haven't seen you in so. long it's good seeing you. yeah yeah real good seeing you you wanna. do a prayer oh yeah yeah do it right. uh dear lord uh thank you for allowing. us to meet today. and uh congregate and uh thank you for. such a beautiful day. um thank you for a food that we eat.

every day. and uh just allowing all these great. opportunities that you're. that you're providing we say this in. your name lord. let's amen her thank you it's a really. good prayer when does it go away. it won't what do you mean it won't yeah. it won't go away. so um i'm going to.

i'm going to out of town. i'm going out of town yeah you have some. show dates yeah no i'm going to. do shoot a movie in hungary oh that's. next week yeah yeah that's right. are you oh so what's your role like can. you tell us about your i want to talk. about the role. but i don't want to talk about that did. you have to audition for it yes i did. have to audition for answers. are you crying yeah look at this. you okay no okay let's keep going no i'm. not gonna give up do you give up. no i don't give up so i'm going away.

you know and it's funny because um i was. in oklahoma. well last week so i've been kind of. going out and i've been going out. um into town and eating dinner with. friends it's been. good i feel like everything's coming. back you said you had some good barbecue. in oklahoma yeah. you did what's your favorite kind of. barbecue yeah it wasn't barbecue that i. ate i ate at steak houses. steakhouses yeah what i do is yeah. anyway. i uh what you know what happened was you. know what i did. um you know those scooters the birds.

yeah i did that this is not enough guys. you guys. you cut the act really you know what we. have to do buttholes. yeah we have to steve we have. this left eyeball we have to do it steve. steve. what we're not doing our product. we have to steve it's this trifecta. steve's suit. boom boom boom right here i might back. me up dude scissor brother we gotta do. [Laughter].

what does it entail you have to really. swirl in your tonkomok inside the hole. yeah. inside the butthole inside. yeah we have to right yeah we have to do. it. dude it's great content trust me. trust great content. great but let me ask you this can i ask.

you this what isn't it fun though it's. not fun. it's absolutely not fun okay okay i came. here. i think i have all these ideas of how. we're gonna do the it's not it's all off. the window. what do you mean you can't think no so. let me ask you this my friend. what let me ask you this yeah um. so you said the sack first we did it. right i guess the pain wasn't. you know i mean that great for you yeah. so then you went let's try penis. right we did the penis okay that was.

worse. right it feels bad now yeah it does real. bad. okay now what makes you think the. [ __ ] is gonna. have you tried it on your ass yeah it's. it's it's gonna be tightened like. it's gonna be heightened because it's. more um. it's just more of a sensitive area yeah. it's a sensitive area the penis head is. not more sensitive than the [ __ ]. well let's find out let's find out i. don't. right jeremiah.

[Laughter]. hurry up hurry up you guys are stalling. hurry up. hurry up. dude go go go go go go go go go go go go.

go go go. you guys are stalling go guys are. stalling you guys are stalling back away. i don't want you around here. i want to make sure you do it you can. see me. oh you guys are stalling please i'm. going okay. okay okay okay all right okay go back to. the seat.

did you do it so i think so i think he. did. now we're good can i say something. you're right. steve you're absolutely correct. it is more sensitive. than the penis it's unusual.

you discover you discover things every. day you would not think it's a new level. it's the top it's the top level it's the. top yeah wow. nirvana it's not nirvana no that's not. nirvana okay. it's the polar opposite of nirvana oh. yeah it's a here you tell. are you yeah how are you feeling man i'm. not even kidding are you guys seeing any. black specks right now i do i have. always seen black spit down my penis. yeah.

[Laughter]. try smiling it's hard okay. look at me oh great. welcome to another episode of spit. friends i'm.

bobby andrews out of town right so we. have my brother filling in thanks for. watching. we got jeremiah watkins we have a new. podcast called scissor brothers yeah. yeah how's that experience going it's. going pretty good. um every week uh we we come up with new. challenges. uh what else jeremiah we do a lot of. music together. we do musical things oh we have a lot of. fan mail how did that. how did that come about scissor brothers. oh. the name comes from steve you're. sweating a lot. the name comes from steve and i started.

trimming each other's pews cubes. at jeremiah jeremiah and someone said. scissor bros and then somebody said that. we're. brothers so it just it just stuck it. just stuck. um and we had the same pair of scissors. we found out at both of our homes. initially when you guys started. how did it start well the show is called. good friends. for the first episode it was like april. so i was wondering it was a joke. yeah but i was wondering where that came. from. well so it was a play on bad footage it.

was a yeah i was a playoff bad friends. and uh we we did like but it was a. one-off yeah yeah. ship station look ship station is the. number one shipping software for. e-commerce sellers with more five-star. reviews than literally anybody else it. automates any shipping task. it's so easy if you're an online. shipping company and you have products. you don't use ship station you're a. loser you're the best yeah they are the. best by far. yeah we use it all the time no matter. what you're selling amazon etsy your own. website ship station. funnels all your orders into one simple. interface you can manage from anywhere.

even your cell phone it's that easy. you'll get. access to amazing discounts with major. carriers including ups. fedex and usps easily compare carriers. and choose the best solution every time. every single time we ship stations small. business can now access the same rates. usually reserved for fortune 500. companies without the contracts and. commitments so ship. more in less time use our offer code bad. friends to get a 60 day free trial. two months free no hassle stress free. shipping just go to shipstation.com. click on the microphone at the top of. the page and type in.

enter offer badfriends.shipstation.com. bad friends make ship. happen hello tushy oh my god you can eat. a fried egg off of my [ __ ] i've done. it twice. yeah and i've done it twice and it's all. thanks to hello too and the reason why. is because you know i used to have a. mess of a. roast it would look like the aerial view. of vietnam it was like. after mount saint helens yeah yeah like. something went off. and now um i clean my [ __ ] with. beautiful water from hello tushie hey.

look your dad has wiped your ass for. years return the favor with the perfect. gift for father's day from hello tushy. all right bring your pops into the. future with a brand new hellotushy. 3.0 modern bidet attachment it's stylish. it's so easy to install. bob and i both installed one here and at. our houses. cleans but like a champ but it doesn't. stop there it cleans itself. with the smart spray automatic. self-cleaning nozzle. plus every hello tissue bad attachment. comes with a 60-day risk-free. guarantee and a 12 month warranty if. your dad already has his hello toshi on. his toilet blow moy with an upgrade with.

the new hello tushy 3.0 if he's new to. the revolution. have him join millions of happy hello. tushy customers right now for a clean. butt. with every flush give the gift of a. clean butt go to hellotussie.com. bad friends to get ten percent off plus. free shipping. special offer for our listeners at. hellotushy.com bad friends for ten. percent off. hello dot com slash bad friends you guys. give up.

[Music]. you know. yeah it's an old korean. korean song it's like all korean song. that my. mom used to sing to us to go to bed. how about this one okay. [Music]. [Laughter].

[Applause]. yeah i don't know the rest do you know. yeah i want to join in so badly i know. you're doing it oh my god. so um. yeah did you see modal combat yeah i did. oh no no that's outside yeah it's on. html yeah. so how was it was it pretty good some. people hate it but i thought it was fun. you know i thought it was fun i thought. it was better than the 95 i thought it. was way way better.

the first 10 minutes of it was really. dude i'm so sorry i thought it'd be good. you know like fun it would mix things up. with bad friends because you guys don't. do challenges. i thought it'd be a good idea back me up. what do you think i thought it was. gonna be a good idea too yeah good idea. dude you're crying. because anger it's not a sadness i. promise you. it's kind of furious i'm furious are you. really. yeah i'm really upset how do we make it. up i'm sorry there's no way to make it.

up wait there's no way to make it up no. can we still go to dinner after this no. absolutely not that's out. why not come on listen listen you don't. [ __ ] you don't [ __ ] look up [ __ ]. right if i die well i could die too. yeah but what if i died what if i died. if i died and you didn't die. no i would die what if i died i just had. a son that would be terrible yes that. would be terrible. but you know what i mean that would be. awful but i'm just saying. that what if you guys lived and i died. from this stupid [ __ ] prank thing. that you did. how would you feel i feel horrible we'd.

feel like a bad friend. i would kill myself probably don't say. that no if you died. because of a tiger bomb how funny would. that be if she if. i died and then you killed yourself how. funny would that be and then mom gets. the call. yeah ring ring i'm sorry hello uh mrs. lee. yes yeah are you the mother of. are you the mother of bobby and steven. lee oh yes are they okay. i'm sorry ma'am um i have to call tell.

you they both passed away. what happened no no oh that's not what. you would hear oh this is what you'd. hear. the phone dropped. that's what you'd hear oh god yeah. because of my dumb idea yeah. right then she picks it. up right well. um your brother steve is that steve your.

youngest son. yeah right he you know they did they do. podcasts i know they do but. right he brought over tiger bomb. told your brother to stick it on his. testicles. [Music]. keep going his penis. yeah and inside his anus.

why of course yeah because that's the. question. why why you know what his response would. be. what i don't know. that's what the police officers wants to. be all right you guys i don't know and. then. let's wipe it off guys stop no i'm not. wiping out okay i'd rather die. i'd rather die to teach you a lesson no. yeah i'd rather die i don't want that to. happen yeah yeah so let me see something. this information. let me say something right now and then.

what happened and then i was feeling. horrible and you know oh he felt so. guilty. because he bobby died from the poisoning. it poisoned his body poison we poisoned. shot himself in the face with a shotgun. yeah and then you guys look at the joke. what would mom do. oh she would be devastated you would. kill herself devastating and there goes. our family. okay you guys the joke's over let's uh. you guys want to wipe yours off no i. refuse. you're keeping it up for the rest of the. podcast teach you a lesson.

can we still go out to eat after this. maybe okay i'm hungry. tell me about your dreams. steve tell me about your dreams. [Music]. do your fingers are weird what are you. talking about they're like. they're like um clubbing what are you. talking about really. yeah your fingers are clubbing like what. like a caveman. no no no no no let's talk about it yeah.

yeah so you know how the nails. you know your arteries and stuff are. closing up. so now your nails are like like how. which is the guitars for the rolling. stones um keith richards. you know his fingers are clubbing my. fingers are clubbing yeah yeah. how do you could you tell let me look at. your fingernails yeah look at your. index this one right here this one mine. are clubbing as well. but they curl like they start curling. that's what you how you know your. arteries are like. clogging up and getting tight so it's.

like stroke is what yeah. now do you do you think about that. because it's like i'm i'm i'm on. blood pressure medication you are oh. blood thinners. no blood pressure medication what so i. don't want to get a stroke dad get that. dad got a stroke. you know what my brother and i did our. grandmother. we went to korea our grandmother had was. paralyzed from the neck down. and did we ever tell you the story no. and. um one day my dad walks in and my.

grandmother never left one room for like. 25 years. she just sat against this wall smiling. oh the bee stingers. yeah yeah yeah so she's just they're. smiling. and one day she's just sitting there. smiling and my dad looked at her body. and there's. all these welts on her body yeah. and and she goes he dad comes into us. and goes what how come grandma. she'll get all these things on her body. right and my brother and i go. we don't know right and then the next.

day my dad walks into the room. and he catches my brother and i taking. these sticks and just. i don't know i don't remember that yeah. yeah really yeah. hitting here because you can't feel. anything so what's the harm i don't. remember that she's just standing there. like this. because i think she was just happy that. we were like paying her and you used her. as a. i don't think we did that i don't. remember that yeah i remember. her getting stung by bee stingers wow. they would give her these uh no we hit. her with sticks. no i remember bee stingers of us like.

maybe they both can be true. i don't remember hitting him with the. sticks. i think i would remember that i think i. think you blocked it out of your mind. what yeah we must say there's a lot of. things that you blocked out oh yeah. absolutely absolutely. i don't remember hitting it you tell. i've explained to them. um i explained to um. these people on my podcast about when. you the fight that you saw me. who did i fight when we were kids oh um.

derek we talked about we talked about it. we did yeah yeah but can i hear your. point of view what happened. oh yeah it was the whole talk of the. town all the kids knew. uh he beat your ass. [Laughter]. yeah yeah yeah yeah but do you where did. he beat me at my ass um. it was like this grassy knoll a open lot. yeah you know attached to martin coyte. more towards the hill yeah yeah and dude. the whole school was there. yeah the whole whole thing straight out. of the movies yeah they created this.

whole circle. there was it was like a scene in a movie. you seen a movie and he was just beating. you. that boom beating you down beating you. down. i'm sorry i know my mom my mom had to. save them. your mom she happened to drive she drove. by she had just happened to be driving. by and then she saw her son just getting. beat the crap yeah. and were you ashamed that day yeah but. you know what i don't want to demoralize. you know we've talked about this there's. a let's talk about a positive when i was. in seventh or eighth grade here we go.

let's just story about a positive story. about you yeah. i i i kind of talked about him passing. on the king and the sting. okay but i want to do be more depth yeah. yeah it was a good time yeah they did. yeah i'm. going back into like two a week and a. half they betrayed you and then they. bought you back in yeah they brought me. back in yeah yeah. but anyways so i so can we talk about. king of this thing real quick. yeah we can yep um so when we played the. prank here. where i called nick write the producer. by saying that i. didn't cry though i didn't cry what do.

you mean you said that i cried i didn't. cry and then i opened up this whole. thing. you're a [ __ ] you cried yeah a lot of. people were. a lot of trolls came after steve for. crying a lot of people. did you cry no you didn't no ask my man. you could ask my i made that up. yeah you fabricate it okay. now you say sorry yeah yeah you know i'm. sorry. i don't think you know the power of your. word if you say something words are very. powerful.

if you just my words are very powerful. very powerful can i say this though. at the time right when you're talking i. know you're glamorizing. i know i don't know glamorous i know but. you're kind of you're sprinkling. no you're sprinkling it off you're. crying i didn't cry though. at all i was upset yeah but when i. called nick. right yeah because the whole thing is. that when i say he cried because. when i called nick yes right so just. listen. so when i'm calling nick on a prank. right obviously you're going to. exaggerate. it right i might i was thinking about.

adding other things you know what i mean. right. he like he almost hung himself into the. closet yeah. but those details come back to me. right and i just i just learned a new. lesson. i'm telling you so what did people say. what are you a [ __ ]. yeah what you know like but crying is a. it's a natural human emotion no but. these guys are like. trolls they're like oh you can't you. [ __ ] cried you [ __ ] blah blah blah. what. the hell you cry for yeah stand up for. yourself you know i mean like.

all that stuff yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah. you exaggerate dude like because you. said that you do exaggerate because you. said santino got. a lawyer he was thinking about getting a. lawyer to sue steve and i for. the the good friends april fools yeah. yeah he had a bunch of trolls hitting. him up thinking that was real because. you exaggerated it's chaos. yeah it's cute you love it you you you i. think you do a part of you. like you thrive i don't it makes me feel. like [ __ ]. it makes me feel like [ __ ] really yeah. do you really really is that an act. no it's not an act let me say something.

right now okay cause your words matter. [Laughter]. okay okay okay okay but i'm gonna tell. you that it makes me feel. shame just put that down okay sorry it. makes me. feel shame um it makes me feel bad. um i know there's these you know. consequences that happen. that aren't you know that aren't in the. forefront of my mind when i'm doing. these mischievous. you know what i mean verbal yeah you. know yeah on my friends. no that's my family right um will i stop.

no okay that's fine look at me right now. that's fine look at me right now yeah i. will not stop okay that's fine. okay can i go back to my story when i. felt proud of you. i'd love to okay so we're at the poway. high school gym. and he was wrestling another asian kid. from monte the story i remember that. match. and so this kid was his nemesis he was. good i think his name was pineapple or. something he was from he was a. he was from monte vista he was an asian. kid it wasn't an apple.

we used to know we were racist we were. racist he looked he was filipino in a. mustache. but he was an asian first asian right. but you called them pineapple. no that was that was the nickname that. the whole team called them that. came from you though oh no i don't think. i i don't think he's calling pineapples. with his words again i'm putting my. first. it didn't come from me ladies and. gentlemen again he's exaggerating. you fabricated he would scare you on a. comment saying.

the story let's stick with the. positivity i want to get to where i felt. proud of you. okay okay just let him say he's probably. all right it went to overtime. against against this guy against this. kid from monte vista. this filipino kid from monte vista who. was good by the way yeah. they both get back into the middle of. the circle. and this other kid it was like the scene. from you know karate kid one you know. daniel vs johnny. this kid did like a whole.

um bruce lee like. pose and it was like the ending of that. scene. and you know what my brother did he blew. him a kiss. he went like this he went and then. the whistle blew my brother. went down for a double and freaking. slammed him. on he slammed him he got he he won in. overtime. and i was on as a kid on the side of the.

mat just like. so freaking proud like what the [ __ ]. yeah. you know what coach brown sitter said. what he didn't say anything he did one. of those things in movies. like what do you mean i looked at him. from do you remember that i do i looked. at him. far from the gym he looked at me and. guess what he did. like this. right he did like a nod like. dude that was right and i decided. he likes me you know i remember that. feeling.

um can i just because the jay leno thing. was cool ubook and mad tv was awesome. but for me as a as a younger brother i. felt the most proudest. at that moment. no because it's like it was like a movie. to me i was like it was cinematic man. yeah it was literally this match was. literally to the. final moment tell you about that. perseverance. don't talk about state i'm not gonna. okay i'm not gonna okay okay. my brother was ranked probably.

two in california right of all of. california in his weight division. 103. he would go to like cif. right three years in a row three years. in a while you go to the cia it's like. you know like as a kid you know they had. the tunnel. you know with the smoke and they would. call my brother's name down. and my brother would run through this. tunnel as if it's like the wwf or. whatever. and my brother would like do moves on. the mat.

that like was inspiring to me. like one time a guy stood up my brother. had it was yeah. he stood up from my brother you know my. brother put. his right hand right over his under his. shoulder. and took his neck and snapped him back. from standing position. right and the whole the whole audience. went. right you're right and he would do that. every year and he. was supposed to win state okay i didn't. like i don't know where you're going.

right now i like that i don't know. and everyone when my brother you know i. mean i'm not going to go into state but. i'm just saying. no just do it if you do it do it if you. do it do it all the way. if you do do it all the way go all the. way i'll do it all the way. so my brother was like in like the. newspaper. people would write articles they have a. plaque. in the in in the um he has a record. still. you know i mean in the power high school.

um wrestling. fastest pin fastest pin five seconds. yeah my brother was like he's gonna win. the whole thing. right because everyone at state was guys. he just. manhandled right and then um. i drove it was in stockton so i'm from. san diego i drove the mic. all the way there yeah in my hug no not. late after this. after the story i don't know if i want. to want to hug you after the story. actually okay.

i drove like nine hours yeah or up there. no hotel just. nine hours and i sat in my seat. my brother's first match and as soon as. i saw my brother walk under the mat. i almost got back in my [ __ ] car and. drove back you knew. i knew there was fear in his eyes. i've never seen yet i mean fear.

manifest in a body that's what my. alcohol was like it was like this. it was like this it was like this frozen. frozen here's a guy in every other. tournament with just you know what i. mean you know me just eye people. right what's up you know what i mean and. then gross i froze. his face was like you know like a statue. no like in aliens you remember that. little creature comes on the face. it was as as if they took the took the. creature off.

right and he was on the mat blood. squirting out of. do you even know the depression that i. went through after that i know i'm kept. i went deep into depression. yeah suicidal oh you know i feel bad. because i should be more supportive. oh thank you thank you yeah. you're right yeah i should be more. supportive you know i learned the lesson. though i learned a lot what's the lesson. you can't let fear dictate.

your life and the way you navigate. through life. because i because to be honest with you. i was my worst enemy. you know so like because i've thought of. i've replayed that event. in my audience i think about that thing. no because you learn lessons from it. what is it okay so the lesson is. let's say if i tried my very best and. wasn't fearful. and i lost i'd be okay with that it's. because.

the fear set in and i wasn't at my best. that's where i have the problem does. that make sense yeah i had a similar. thing happen uh. yeah go ahead jeremiah spelling bee. when i went to is this real this is real. this is real okay i went to regionals. did you really yes i was i was i was. going to go. to nationals i had learned every single. word in fifth grade. wow i was i i killed it at state we.

went to texas i'm from kansas then so i. went from kansas to texas. and then the next step was nationals wow. did you have the little. number thing yes i love that yeah yeah. because fear i knew the word. i knew the word and it's the it's the. the the. first and last time i got legit stage. fright i spelled the word wrong and i. knew that i was doing it wrong because i. was feared because i wanted out i was so. scared yeah.

well you purposely said it wrong because. of the fear. i think or or because the fear said that. you couldn't think straight you knew. that. knew it i knew it it was the word it was. an easy word. it was the people getting lullaby. lullaby. lullaby yeah do you know how how hard i. kicked myself after i still can't spell. that word. let me try lullaby okay i'll try it too. l. u l u. l l a b y. yes that's it that's that's it yeah.

that's it that's a lullaby. yep you couldn't spell that i spelled it. l-u-l. yeah and then i i went and froze too a b. y and then go i'm sorry and i knew that. i knew. i was spelling it wrong oh my gosh were. your parents in the audience. yes my mom had flown to texas with me. well. she's probably uh imagine the shame. in the audience i mean all these kids. like around me were. like i'm so sorry nailing like like. really hard words and i was like okay i. know that one i know that one.

that was meant to be though because. we're scissor brothers now. we both we both went through a similar. cut dude i feel close to you dude from. the ashes we wrote yeah. we have we share that right one one two. come on bob. three four five i don't know what this. is i've never done this. what's it eight a hundred nine no we're. not doing i'm not doing it. it's something that we do to collect. yeah yeah so that's interesting um. you know i've had a lot of um but you've. have you dealt with that.

oh i didn't fear oh i'll i'll tell you. tell me so three years ago i don't care. because yeah amy poehler is producing. this pilot. right and i'm like you know i'm gonna. [ __ ] get it. you know so i memorized it from. backwards and forwards. and i go i'm sitting in the now i'm at i. don't know nbc when i'm sitting there. and i i don't even have the script in my. hand i just have it like this because i. know it you know i mean it's memorized.

so and i'm also so cocky about it i'm. like. sitting in my chair like this other. actors walking what's up. i know i'm going to get it you're going. to get it you're good yeah. and then the lady goes are you ready. yeah i'm ready. about time i walk in. and i didn't know that she was going to. be the amy pullers there. right she's sitting there and like in my. head i'm like i'm gonna start let's. start to start i have it right.

then she does this bobby. i go hey she goes she introduces me. everyone in the room. and as that during that process i'm like. i. it's all now gone i don't know the first. word. oh no yeah so then i start the audition. as soon as i say the first word i go. and i go right into the page and i. literally put the [ __ ] page in front. of my face. and i just read it like that oh my god.

right and i'm like also the paige is. doing this. let's suppose this is the script yeah. this is what they see. i'm sorry i'm sorry because i'm i'm so. scared. right and i go i go. thank you and i try to justify and i go. like this i go i should have memorized. it. sorry i just cold read it just to. justify it and she goes. she out loud she did that yes i swear to. god.

i walked in the hallway and i had this. big long bottle of smart water. oh you hit it i hit my head over there. yeah i remember that yeah 50 times. remember what you did after you went and. i was bleeding. down my face he was hitting himself. punishing myself. before. yeah i'm driving and just banging my. when i got home. my face was bleeding because she's like. what happened. get in a car accident i just auditioned. it's an audition you walked in i booked.

it. yeah yeah but like you know i i've had. so many of those experiences where i. would. audition for something okay and i would. close no okay. just a disaster and i would be in my car. crying. in shame over an audition yeah yeah. i've had those two and and and no i. learned right. now it's different that was years ago. maybe five years ago. now it's completely different i'm you. know i don't give a [ __ ]. now because i um you know i have tiger.

belly and i have this. you know i mean and this you know and. then for some reason now it all that. kind of stuff. i needed money right that's what it is i. always. there's a time where it's like well my. desperate it comes through always. right i'm like i need to book something. so i can get my career going right. and there was years where i wasn't and. so then i was like i would punish myself. and then i wa one day i just went you. know what i'm just gonna do my own thing. which is bad friends and tiger belly and. podcasting and stand-up and that other. kind of stuff that i have control over.

and then the other stuff just came along. with that. right but um yeah i know what that shame. is like. yeah and i think because but the reason. why you beat yourself. up over state is because of the trauma. that you felt growing up in our house. yeah yeah and you know you have to deal. with that trauma oh yeah yeah. absolutely yeah yeah you know when um. dad beat you with that little casio. keyboard when completely naked my dad. had my brother had a friend over was it.

was derek's oh yeah the guy that beat me. up's brother. was it really a casio like that one yeah. but with a little one it was the first. sampling keyboard. like the freddy krueger one you could go. hey hey hey. you know yeah like a second of sampling. time yeah and then my. my brother was playing it to him and. that was taken during the daytime during. the day. this time yeah and my dad came. in yeah that's like shut up. butt naked completely naked and what do. you have in his ass. tiger balm no tissue paper tissue paper.

like a string like dental floss. like he had a [ __ ] tampon in his ass. sticking out of his butthole yeah scared. the [ __ ] out of me. yeah but that's the only thing i could. look like a korean kite yeah. right so he comes in and he goes he. takes the casket. rips the keyboard out of the socket. right and. like a sledgehammer yeah and. keep in mind we're on our stomachs just. playing with this thing and they're. eight yeah and he just beats me. like a hammer like boom boom i imagine.

you're your friend his friend. oh he never came he never came over. again never came over again. that's it yeah my dad did that with the. street fighter 2. on super nintendo because he didn't beat. us but he. he took it to his workbench yeah you. boys are gonna fight. he took a sledgehammer yeah ah fight. over this. oh my god broke it to pieces brand new. video game. ah no why why christmas gift. gone did you buy you another one no he.

one time hid. our double07 goldeneye yeah as a. punishment because we were fighting over. it again. yeah and then he forgot where he hit it. and you never saw it again what if it's. still there somewhere like behind a wall. in the house in the house it might be. wait do they still still live in the. same house. what my my my dad and my. my brother and my mom or what no where. he hid that golden eye oh no we don't. know we don't live in that house that's. like a childhood.

was that a difficult question i don't. know i dude. my butthole is i don't know yeah we're. doing okay with that. yeah yeah you guys still feel it though. i didn't want to yeah i do. i'm just saying like if there's it's. more of a like um it's a weird. station it's like like a little ice cube. in my butthole. yeah it's cooling off it feels still. feel like a little ice cube in my. butthole does it burn at all a little. bit yeah. i think i have blood in my shoulders. yeah yeah but it's weird when you ex. you experience now would you not let me. ask yourself this though because you.

have wilder now your kid. are you going to do that [ __ ] with him. no you're a great dad. you're not going to do any of that are. you sure though well you just. wait me because they drive you so crazy. that you just resort to certain. certain things no i don't think you can. i think i'll go more the disappointment. route. yeah or time out the time out route yeah. where are where. the timeout works oh if because when. your parents get disappointed. with you that's longer lasting than ah. then rage and everything like that yeah. because rage and stuff like that.

it lingers within the kid too right and. it just kind of manifests itself in. weird ways. as an adult um. maybe that's why you're not going to. have kids huh. i want it dude yeah but dude it's like. what time what do you mean time we're. getting older. i can still have it look at steve martin. yeah he had kids at like 70. how old was. he at 70. at 70. oh okay you're good now you see him like. you know what i mean he was a.

six-year-old kid. do you want he's in a walker and he's at. the park do you want it. you know i i look at it because you're. at the age you know what what is. that what's that okay i'm sorry i'm. sorry. but you know yeah i'm 50 i'm not even i. know but this is a good age. that's a great age yeah i'm in it i'm a. good age. are you guys going to do it yeah yeah i. want to but here's the deal um. you know kalila's dad was 60 when she. you know he had her. so i just feel like but if i'm going to. do it i have to do it now.

you should do it now yeah i want to do. it now i want to be like because when. i'm. 70 my kid will be 20 i'll be out of the. house and then maybe i can do you still. have sperm that you have like healthy. yeah do you still have sperm bobby it's. like not just. like dust bubbles just don't just. no if i looked at my comment it was dust. bubble. yeah i don't even know what that is by.

the way like sand yeah if it was it was. if there was. sand grainy grainy in my [ __ ] i would go. to the hospital do you still masturbate. yes i do you [ __ ] okay my [ __ ] works it. works good it's a machine. like you could still get it you can. still get it right yeah. dude i'm not [ __ ] you know i know i. haven't talked to you in a long time. yeah my dick works i know but you could. get hard and everything. instantly yeah of course yeah yeah i was. wondering so you do. well you're only three years younger i. know you have dust bubbles in your dick. oh no it's working great.

like real good right oh yeah it's. beautiful yeah it's beautiful. yeah yeah me too yeah you feel have the. same sexual desire oh yeah. me too do you still use toys and stuff. like. what do you mean well you know the. pringles thing you know they call us the. pringle boys. well it's a little hard when you can. make a like a homemade i know i know it. would be yeah. yeah yeah yeah it's hard when you are. living with. you know i mean a kid i you know have a. high schooler in my. house yeah rudy yeah so i don't want a. fleshlight laying around the living room.

yeah you know what i mean so you just. old school and also when i masturbate i. can't just masturbate in the bed you. know me next to kalila. that's weird right i've never done i've. never done the watch porn master but you. can't do that so what do you have to go. downstairs. no i have to do it either um well. sometimes i do it. in the garage you do i have done it like. where tiger bellies filmed. yeah oh where the video game is. so i'll be playing warzone she thinks. you're gaming not in the guest seat or. anything right.

no no no no nothing i said that's rude. no i'll be. gaming and then i'll just go and i just. because i. you know i have to quit at a certain. time so i go it's getting. almost 1 30. i gotta stop maybe i'll. just masturbate real quick you know and. i'll just do it. what do you go ahead bank bank what do. you mean spank bank or do you look at. something. hey look he doesn't want to enter this. hall what do you look at what are you. watching i look like. what do you look at though bobby i want.

to know what you're watching. i'm not like i'm not doing because i. don't want i want to. i don't want to i used to spend so much. money on buying you know memberships. see i always question that it's for free. right yeah oh you're specific. no it's not about specific sorry it's. about you know the free ones. are like four minute videos sometimes. they don't 10 minutes 15 sometimes right. but it's not high definition yeah i mean. i like all that stuff. okay like new you know.

no but what else do you like topical. porn. no i like relevant porn what do you mean. by relevant i think just like. go ahead keep keep going i just like. ones that are like you know. well like think about it what do you. mean just think about what you're about. to say though i just want you know. i want you to know what are you talking. about i just want you to be. you know think about it what i i go on. pornhub okay that's right you yeah. that's something you certainly give. i go premium oh i pay for the premium uh.

what's the what's the difference. you just get a lot more content oh okay. and higher definition. videos and longer videos far more. accurate you get through. longer videos though do you know what i. mean do you keep watching after you. complete and does it take it longer for. you to i've noticed it takes longer for. me. oh no you're like boom no i get in a. manic. obsession really yeah i focus i can i. know how to focus my attention because i. play a game called. match 3d there's a game called match 3d.

where. you you have to you you have to put like. symbols inside a little. thing as fast as you can and it he if. you don't focus especially on your phone. because. on your ipad's easier on your phone you. have to really look and i use that. technology and that. system when i watch porn i focus into. the. [ __ ] oh so your mind just goes right in. yeah yeah and i'm like nothing you know. sometimes you'll be watching porn and. you'll hear a noise i go is that a ghost. or you know i mean.

or you start thinking about other things. right the only two options or whatever. you know. or is that my girlfriend maybe that. would be that right or you think about. what do i have to do tomorrow i don't i. know how to. laser focus and do it in the situation. do you know how to do that i just. it takes me like an hour on the opposite. to finish. oh it takes me a long i mean sometimes. hours. hours just to finish one load oh yeah. really. yeah but i have one hour. longer sometimes what a two hour.

what are you doing three are you sure. freeze out baby the sun will be out baby. are you jerking off the entire time i. take breaks. out baby the sun is out i understand. that can i ask you this. can't you do like two or three what are. you talking about. i mean it's like are you like you know. what it is. it desensitizes you. cause uh i noticed that. i'll get sick of watching one scene and.

i'm like ah this is not doing it and. then i'll cut to another you know what i. mean it's just like boom boom boom boom. yeah. that's why it takes so long i mean i. i'll be honest with you i have gone. through. five or six videos right hundreds. yeah but tons do you need help then what. are you talking about if you have to. look at. hundreds of videos not a hundred maybe. fifty is that normal. no it's not fifties i'm trying. yeah it's normal 50 is difficult yeah. yeah yeah.

maybe you should just take a break you. think you know what. that's healthy are you worried about me. i'm worried about i'll tell you what. i'll tell you what i'm worried about a. terrible word i'm worried about and this. is. really good to talk about really this is. not comedy but um. what i'm worried about is um. you know one night. we were all wait waiting for you for war. zone. and we're trying to contact you and. dylan and i and that you weren't around.

so we went in you thought the worst. no you didn't that you died okay i. thought you guys thought something. happened no. and then you said i just woke up and it. was like 12 30 at night. oh i'm i'm improving though because. since this is a bros yeah. i mean no no i'm just saying that. worries me that. you're waking up at 12 30. my sleeping. schedule. and i'm not blaming i'm not saying. you're partly to blame but as a kid. but as a kid i'm not deflecting i'm just.

kind of. let's go down the timeline you ought to. do it let's go down the timeline let's. go check it out i remember when we were. kids before he started stand up he'd be. like. not you know come in my room hey you. know mark like martin lawrence stand up. he's about you know like he would talk. about stand-up specials. hey stay up with me and watch this thing. and so i remember i'm not blaming you. but i'm just giving you. it sounds like you're blaming me no no. i'm just giving you a timeline call give. me the timeline. and so i just remember like oh okay i'll. i'll stay up i'll stay up you know like. hollywood shuffle.

all these great like movies or comedy. specials yeah i make them stay until. midnight. no no longer than that like this is the. vhs days and everything. and i just remember back then i'm like. all right i'll stay up and then it's. i just remember it started back then. it's progressively got worse and then i. have i'm on my phone. it's not my fault i have myself to blame. right now it's everything he's been. waking up earlier though we've been. doing this. gas way earlier brother yeah keep going. he's on time. every every time shows up early yeah. when do you shoot though.

7 pm oh you do yeah keep going keep. going. he he shows up with that he shows up. with ideas. he he thinks about stuff all week he. comes up with every challenge that we do. from week to week oh wow wow yeah. every week we shoot extra content at. least once or twice a week outside of. when we record the podcast. talk about the ad reads we do very. unique ad reads okay where we dress up. i'm always early that's what i'm worried. about is this though it's um. you know um i just feel like.

you know i just want you to be in a. relationship keep in mind. i went through a breakup it's only been. five six months right. give me that let me go through my thing. you know what i mean let me go through. it a little bit. uh okay because you didn't use that you. know because. let's talk about real time things have. happened. and i have been in a dark spot but yeah. we're i'm crawling out of it right. jeremiah. yeah he's been dating some people and. stuff he's. trying to meet he doesn't have a car i.

know we're working we're working on that. we're working on it. okay you get a car license yeah you get. vaccinated there's. certain things that he just doesn't he's. sort of like off the. off the grid i know i understand i'm. concerned i'm. there to help him with that yeah he's. been great we've been doing positive. things let's keep it positive baby. contestant number one please introduce. yourself my name is panjani.

mcgivens and i'm from um yellowstone. elementary school um in lubbock texas. and um that's it. okay so how do you spell intelligence. i n. t e. [Laughter].

that was incorrect i know it was was. that correct or incorrect. incorrect well i lost then go ahead. okay uh please uh enter yourself. uh timothy kramer tucson arizona. hi timothy uh hunker chief. can you use it in a sentence please yes. i use my handkerchief when i cry to wipe. my tears. hankerchief.

hank. hank am i saying that correctly yes. h a. and k. e r. c h. i e f.

almost handkerchief thank you for. participating uh. but no no incorrect all right. our last contestant here uh please. introduce yourself. hi my name's darius finnegan you have to. stand up i got it. yeah you have to stand up. right there oh no no no no that's good. that's good that's good hi my name is. you're in your wheelchair. yeah yeah hi my name is darius finnegan. i got a. sacagawea grade school i'm ready for the.

word. logoria. can you repeat the word please. logaria margarita. no lageria. one more time logaria logaria yes. could i get the definition of the word. please a tendency to extreme. loquacity could you use it in a sentence.

please. yes my economist professor. lagoria can be frustrated in times. i'm kind of having bad flashbacks right. now. logaria yes. l.

a g. u r i. l l a logaria. [Music]. your incorrect.

i'll love you to the end of time. my friends. bad friends. good friends and all. the friends you have in the world. don't say no cause you. i know that you're a dream.

okay thanks for tuning in thanks for. being a bad friend. [Music]. we haven't started yet we like that. though. i love it. what the [ __ ] are you doing. richard ramirez.

is my favorite serial killer. he snuck into your house. [Music]. rape i don't know no that's not no. i'm not gonna start with that that's. that's too dark it was too dark. [Music].