Bobby Is Going to the White House | Ep 268 | Bad Friends

This podcast is sponsored by Hule. H U E. L. New customers can use code bad. friends for 15% off plus a free gift. You two are bad friends. Who are these. two idiots? A white dude and an Asian. dude. You two are disgusting. You two are something. We're bad. friends. I've been breaking out like a. teenager. You got a little pinch. I just. said here. This one's a white head. I'm. breaking out like TJ. White heads are. better than blackheads. I shaved all my. pubes down there to look like a little. boy. I don't know why I did that. You.

know what I mean? Why? You can't say. that. Did you really? You went Let me. see. Why? You went flush. Yeah. Oh my god, dude. That's so funny. Why. did you do that? The desire to be. youthful. And then I And then I And then. I shaved my head to look boyish and. everyone's like, "You look so boyish.". And because of the losing the weight. too, I kind of look boyish. You do like. data from the Goonies a little bit, right? You know what I mean? You know. what I mean? Like supplies or whatever. he said. You know what I mean? Whatever. And so I feel youthful. I feel.

energetic. I I'm in a very good mood. But um you. know what? I I'm going to say something. to you, pal, cuz you're my best buddy. You know what I mean? And your redness. really um I think about it at night. I. know I just said that, but um I do. I. like the I want the pain. I'm addicted to the pain. The pain of. relationships. If you look in the mood. for love one car, you know how they. can't. They're in love with each other, but they can't. Yeah. They just can't do.

it. Paris, Texas. They can't. Brokeback. Mountain. They do. And they do it good. When they do, they. do it good. And they do it hard, but. they do it sensual. I never saw the. movie in my mind. You never watched it? No, but I've I've had dinner with Jake. before and I saw in his eyes. I've never. watched I didn't watch it either. Isn't. that weird? And you know what it is? We. have to watch it because I You know what. it is? I think it's because maybe I'm. like I'll be uncomfortable, but I'm I'm.

into that kind of love. Why don't we do. a Bad Friends Viewing Party of. Brokeback? We have to do it and invite. all of our fans to come out to watch it. with us. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We have to. watch Brokeback. There's a couple of. things. La La Land. I can't watch. Never. seen it. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, what movies. can't you watch? There's a a string of. them. Like when you said Auroro. What? Whatever. Anora. Anora. Anora. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You watched it. Never. saw it. Oh, because of you. It's worth a. watch. Yeah. Yeah. And so there's just. certain movies. Baby Girl, I can't watch.

it. I buy it. I can't watch it. Would. because of the social restriction behind. it. You feel like you're not supposed to. watch it. It's not you. Lisa Gilroy. killed it on Black Mirror. I didn't see. it. The first episode she's in Black. Mirror. She killed it. I'm watching uh. I'm watching a third season of Netflix's. uh uh aut autistic love show. What's it. called? Love. Love on the Spectrum. Dude, I Okay, I'm going to tell you. about that. May I tell you about Love on. Spectrum? Yeah, bro. I had a I cried.

I'm excited for your episode. Are you on the third or fourth season? I. am. No, don't. That now you ruined the. bit. No, I can't. I can't. I Why can't I. do that? You are autistic. Yeah. Yeah, I. am. Andrew. Okay. Conor's the best. Connor is the king. He's the king. And. also Connor, come on this show if you're. a fan. Did you finish the very final. episode? I haven't done all of them. Don't do anything. Or can I just say. something at the end of it, though? No. Don't I'm not going to I'm not going to. ruin it for you. I have to say what I. need to say. It's going to If it ruins.

it, I'm going to be pissed off, dude. You're always pissed off at me. It's my. nightly watch. It's my favorite thing to. watch at night. I burn through it, dude. I'm saving it. You know what's so funny? You know when you get a You know when. you get something from your mom when. you're a kid and it's sweet and. delicious and you're like I want to I. want to savor this and I take little. tiny little tiny bites cuz I know I want. to eat the whole thing fast. Mine was. squid. Dried squid. Yeah. Yeah. I want. to take the tentacle the dry tentacle. and just suck it through my mouth. Well, don't you have to do that before they. suck they suck into your mouth if you. don't do it right. Don't they suction. into your mouth when you're eating them?

We have our own styles of doing that. You do. Exactly. I thought you the other. day at sushi this the chef looked. exactly like you. I'm not even kidding. He looked exactly like you and I kept. looking at him thinking I miss Bob. Yeah, I do. I missed you so much while I. was gone so long. Went to the Abby. I. was thinking about you. I How does that. feel? I don't get it. What is that? You're. gay. I'm gay. Can I finish my. uh Can I finish my thing? Oh, Abby the. gay nightclub. Yeah. Yeah. I haven't. worked there for years. I know. But when.

you did Oh, wow. Oh my god. So, what I'm. going to say something is that in the. last episode of the very last episode of. Love on the Spectrum. If this ruins it, I will [ __ ] fight you. That's your. problem. I I'm I'm setting boundaries. with you right now. This is me setting a. boundary. I don't want to hear it if. it's going to ruin this. Well, then. close your eyes and your ears. No, we're. on a show together. Don't ruin it. Don't. ruin it for the listeners. I'm not I'm. not going to ruin I'm going to say it as. lightly as I can. Okay. No, you listen. I'm not I promise.

Listen. Put your headphones on. No. Are you my friend? Not right now. No. Do. you have trust with me? Uh, not with. Love on the Spectrum. Just you're acting. like them right now. All right. And you're mocking them. I. don't like it. The one kid that has put. that puts on headphones and listens to. white noise on the date, it's one of the. funniest things I've ever seen. He's. like, I'd like to listen to white noise. instead of her is so great. Yeah. So, anyway, the last episode there's a first. time kiss. I'm not going to I'm not. going to tell you who it is and who it's.

with. Is that better? Just finish. Okay. There's a first time kiss and his. reaction, his or her reaction to the. kiss, right? What? So, um, the last episode, you I mean, an individual kisses another. individual and the purity of his. reaction or her reaction. So annoying, dude. You're so annoying. I. know. Let's just say it, Connor.

Oh. my reaction. God, you're [ __ ] dead. I. I I know, but that's. life. Yes, Bruce Willis is dead in. [ __ ] that movie. You don't even know. the movie. Yes, I do, dude. Six Sense. All right. And if you haven't seen it by. now, that's your bet. It's been out. Yeah, but Love and the Spectrum just. came out. You're burn through it. No. Yeah. Yeah. Anyway, he gets a Jeppi wins. one of the seasons of [ __ ] Bake Off. Yeah, he does, right? Okay. So, he gets.

a kiss, right? And his reaction, it's. it's so pure. And it's like, let's be. honest. Can we all be honest with each. other? I can hear him in his in my mind. going, "Wow, that was the greatest kiss. I've ever had. I love him. He's so like. emotional." He went into convulsions. Well, yeah. You ever got some good [ __ ]. before? Yeah. That's not [ __ ] It's a. kiss. I'll be shaking. It was a closed. mouth kiss. And he does this and his. last line is, "I can't feel my legs.".

Oh, he has a heart attack. He almost. died. He has a stroke. But what I'm. saying is is that there's a purity and. you and I, bud, we're so jaded and we've. been in the saddle for so long. We've. lost that innocence of the first kiss of. the first kiss. And what I'm saying is. is that I want that. Do you remember. your first kiss? Yeah. And then she and then she ghosted. me. We didn't have that terminology. She. didn't shake. Yeah. Yeah. That's her.

She didn't talk to me, right? Monday at. school. Why? It was middle school. Really? She was ashamed that she kissed. me. Right. And then two years later, I. was at a McDonald's and she was working. there and I laughed right in her face. Okay. I did. I You working here? I did that. What was she working? The fry the the. No. Front desk. Listen, I wouldn't have. done that. Front desk like it's a. [ __ ] hotel. I don't know why. McDonald's works, but it's like there's. a concierge at McDonald's. Yeah. Yeah.

She was the host and I laughed if I'm. party for one. Yeah, that was mean what. I just did, but that's the truth. And. it's like she ghosted me and I did that. and then um I don't know. She's doing. some sort of thing. That's street. justice. If she ghosted you, you get a. you get a laugh. You're allowed one. laugh. Well, it's like one of those. things where it's like because it hurt. your feelings. There was a girl in. Dallas who um had sex with a lot of. comics. Mhm. Right. And then what. happened was years later, Russell Peters. comes up to me and goes, "You know so. and so from the club, the girl." And I.

go, "Yeah." I mean, she's he goes, "I. had sex with the girl." I go, "I did. too." And she goes, "She didn't mention. [Laughter]. you." So I'm. embarrassing. And this day stops here, right now. All right. I'm a cool guy. No. longer not a cool guy. You know, you. know what? Somebody called me the other. day. Mhm. Zatty. Oh, that's awesome. I'm. a zatty. I have style. What's the Z? I. don't know. Just zesty. Zesty, dude. That's gay. Zesty means gay. But zesty.

is kind of cool in California. No, but. zesty in in young talk is gay. I'm an. older man, right? I'm stylish, charming, and self-confident. But look at what. zesty mean. But you're not. self-confident. What am I? You require other outside. validation for the and inside though. I. do sometimes inside. All right. So. that's [ __ ] up what you just said. Yes, I quote cry a lot outside. Lazesty. typically means having a lively spirited. and pleasing character often. What are. you doing? Look at me. A lot lively. Hello. It's often context to suggest a.

person behavior is effeminite or. flamboyantly gay. Oh, can you be metrosexual? That term is. gone now. No one uses that anymore. I'm. in Casablanc. Let's do Casablanca. Yo. Hello, my dear. Uh, you're being real. zesty right now. I'm trying to be zesty. now. Don't don't don't don't. Well, that that. takes Dude, that doesn't improve my. self-esteem right now, dude. I'm trying. to be real, dude. Frankly, you know.

what? I don't give a damn. That's not. cuz I'm blank. No. Well, I don't ever. saw it. But that era. Yeah. Hello, my. lady. No, what? You sound like you're. trying to sound like a white guy. Yeah. Yeah. Hello. More Asian. Yeah. More. Asian. Be a smooth Asian. Hello my lady. You hang out in Morocco. often. Here's rooking at you, kid. Could have never done that. Okay. Here's a rooking out of you, kid. You be.

swuave. By the way, he's smoking a. cigarette, squatting down when she gets. when. guy. First of all, it's not it's opium. Yeah. Yeah. He is a rookie at Wait, zoom. into that one. That's the one. Zoom in. Yeah. You be you you be 1954. that brain. reeves and you're not with him, you. would regret it. Maybe not a today, maybe not a tomorrow, but a soon. And. for the rest of your life, dude, why can't we remake these in Asian.

characters? So funny. Okay, you're trying to be zesty, dude. Don't do it. You are You try to be. 1950s, I'll be Hello. Hey, kid. Hello. What is your name? Why don't you take. off that girdle and let me take it for a. spin? Oh, that's how easy it is. You go. direct. Well, they were rude. They like. said whatever they felt back then. You. don't go would like would you like. something to Who owns you, kid? Who owns. you? Yeah, a man. I'm doing it wrong. All right. Would you like to be in.

chains? No. No. Too much. Too much. Well, you don't chain them up. Why? They. just tell them what to do. I have a cage. back in my mansion. I'm too far. Yeah. Yeah, I got to fight. ride the line there. You know, by the. way, I want this as a shirt for him and. I. Okay, Bobby, I think this is the. beginning of a beautiful friendship. I. want that on a shirt for us. That's the. end of the movie, man. I never saw it, you know. Now, yeah. Yeah. That's funny. that you're such a cophile. The fact. that you haven't seen that blows my.

mind. Yeah, I should see it cuz you're a. diehard cophile. In fact, someone else. said that to me. They go, "Gross bud." I. seen that. Someone goes, "What's what's. Bobby's like uh secret superpower?" And. I said, "His knowledge of cinema is way. deeper than almost anybody of our friend. circle knows." I don't think many people. know how deep it really goes. We joke on. the show a little bit, but you really do. know a fuckload about movies. More than. like No, dude. You're I'm nowhere near. you. You're so niche. You've got all the. niche [ __ ] like laid in really well.

Yeah. Fancy tries to compete because of. all that film school nonsense. Yeah. But. he had taught that. I was street that. Correct. Yeah. I went to Blockbuster. You were learned. Yeah. Yeah. You were. learned like Last Tango in Paris, they. edited. Do you know that they edited. Blockbuster edited movies cuz they're. Mormons? Is this real? Yeah. So, when. you saw Last Tango Paris like no sex and. my I was like 12 years old, but my dick. out cuz I heard you mean there's a lot. of nudity in Last Tango Tango in Paris.

and I was just like, this can't be true. to cuz I rented I rented Jerry McGuire. from Blockbuster and the sex scene at. the beginning I used to jerk off to all. the No, I mean really deep ones like uh. like did they am I right or no? There. was a there was a there was a rumor. regarding edits of the films from. Blockbuster rental at the stores. That's. not true. It's a it's a it's a uh it's a. So maybe maybe there was like a like a. R-rated version. Well, I'm sure they did. other rated versions for sale for sure. Maybe that was Yeah. Do you want to give. him his gift by now? Blockbuster was.

known to request and sometimes demand. edits to films in order to stock them, particularly in the '90s. Practice often. tied to conservative ideologies. Oh, so. it did happen. Yeah, there we go. But. it's at the request of the store. Yeah, that's exactly right. Somebody edited it. in San Diego then. Yeah. So, we didn't. have I never heard of that. Yeah. Yeah. It was completely edited. San Diego is. not a Mormon area, right, though? It's. very um conservative. Very Christian. conservative. Yeah, that is true. Yeah. We I remember my my school was that kid. that like if you're gay, you're going to. go to hell. You know, he wore that shirt. and it was big controversy. You went to. school with Trump?

No. No. Matt Gates. Bob, we have a crazy present for you. I'd love it to see it. Um, this just. happened over the weekend and we wanted. to save it for the recording. Yeah, but. this came through your reps. What is. this? I already got I already got a a a. trophy. Is that what it is? No, it's not. a trophy. Well, hold time out. What's. the trophy for? Borderlands. Worst movie ever? They make trophies for. that? No, it was IMDb's best um ensemble. cast.

Oh, that's cool. Who petitioned for. that, dude? That's a political I put it. in my mantle. No, but that's a political. move. That's insane. It doesn't matter. I I as I treat it like it's an Oscar. I. wipe it every day. Trophy The trophy. should have just been a big bomb. All. right, we got this from your reps here. Yeah. Yeah. What is it? Let me see here. I'm just going to do this. White House. Yeah. Shut the [ __ ] It's crazy, dude. Bobby Lee. Mr. Dear Mr. Lee, as you. probably saw, Bill Maher was just at the. White House for dinner with myself, Bob. Kidrock, and Dana. Many people love that.

he came and had dinner with me and had. nothing but amazing things to tell the. people. He had a wonderful time. I hope. you call and ask him. I spoke to my son. Baron this weekend who I'm sure you know. and he recommended you so highly that I. had to have us reach out immediately. You come very highly recommended Mr. Lee. So we would like to invite you to. the White House for dinner. Shut the. [ __ ] up. In the state dining room this. Wednesday. Is that Donald's? Is that. Donald's signature? I very strongly. believe you'll see that. I If this one. of your tricks, I swear to God I will. lose my mind, dude. Dude, this is crazy. This is a don another donut. No. Look,

it's from Matt. It's from your agent. I. got the email. Wait, I'm going to call. my manager if it's real. No, it's your. agent. Yeah, call your agent. You can't. go. You can't go. We're recording that. day. Oh god. You and I have to go. No, we're shooting. We're doing the voice. over that day. We can't. What is it? On. this. No, on Tuesday you're doing that. On Wednesday, he can go. He can fly out. Wednesday morning. Call a call. Who? Well, who get who gave. it to you? Uh, CIA. I'm just going to. call Abby. She She must know about it. Oh my. Cuz if she doesn't know about it,

then it's not real. Why the [ __ ] do you. get an invite and I don't get a [ __ ]. Dude, I'm very knowledgeable about our. politics and tariffs. Yeah. I'm I'm. Chinese, dude. We're going to no. negotiate. Oh, that's what it is. He. wants you to negotiate the tariffs. Yeah. Maybe for Korea or something. Wow. Yeah. Are you being [ __ ] real. right now, dude? It's insane. Great manager. It's a Sunday. What the. [ __ ] does that mean? We're working. CIA.

has a night time forwarded. Oh, [ __ ]. Call your [ __ ] agent, Matt. Yeah. You. think Matt Black will know? Yeah, he's. on. It's Look, he's copied on the. [ __ ] Oh, I'm going to call him right. now. He'll pick up. He'll pick up for. sure. I needed to get to the bottom of. this. I'm so sorry. This is so weird. No, no, you got to frame that. I got to frame. it. Do you have it physically or no? No. Print it out for me, thanks. Yeah, we'll. put on nice paper. We have to frame that and put that up in. the studio. Look at Trump's signature. Trump signed it. Wants you to come to. the Hold on. Wow. Well, because Baron.

likes me. Yeah, I think he watches. That's the same thing he did with Theo. and all those guys. Your call has been forwarded. Oh my god. So, um, what a team. What a team. Yeah. And by the way, the. Sunday excuse, that's such a croc of. [ __ ] Yeah. Okay, but let me ask you. something. Okay. Is your phone on? Yeah. Let me ask you something. I'll see if. they call. They'll call. This is so. annoying. Why wouldn't I get invited? Because you're not He knows. What does.

he know? I I'm more, you know, mean. educated when it comes to the, you know, I mean, economics and jurisdictions and, you know, I mean, tariffs and whatnot. What the [ __ ] are you talking about? Well, he knows about my expertise on all. things, not just golf and bowling. He. loves both of those things. He golfs. more than he does presidential [ __ ]. Okay. But I'm just saying he also when. they see me on camera, they see the. wisdom. Who's the most golfed president. of all time? It that's not has nothing.

to do with [ __ ] dude. Did you get an. invite for the president of the United. States? I'm the guy. [ __ ] you. Shut up. You mean Hey, that is crazy. I will. I. can't go because we have [ __ ] to do. What do you mean you can't go? You have. to go. Do I really have to go? Do they. fly you out? Yes. What the [ __ ] are you. talking about? Do you Who do you think. this is? Are you jealous that you get to go to. the White House? Yeah, man. What the. [ __ ] are you talking about? But if if we. both could go, would you go? If we both can go, would I go? Yeah, I.

want to go. So why can't you be my. guest? That's not a real thing. You. don't get to just [ __ ] say I'm. bringing somebody. No plus ones. There's. no You can't You can't go, hey, I'm. bringing a friend. That's insane. Maybe. if you were, can I be your wife? You're Melania. You're my Melania. I. will go with you to my house. Yeah, this is my wife. She was in a. fire. I was I was burned. Yeah. He's not She's.

not redhead. She's actually from. Slovakia near where Melania is from. I'm. from Slovakia, but I was in fire. In a. fire. Yeah. And my teeth burned off. Yeah. And she loves plunging into lava. I'm a big plunger. Yeah. So that's why. the distortion. You're going to kill it. at dinner. You think so? Let's hear. Let's hear. Will you be Trump? Wonderful. to meet you, Bobby. What do you think, Bobby? What do you think of the White. House? It's the whitest house I've ever. had. It's really pleasant to meet you, Bar. I mean, Donald, I [ __ ] up. already. Oh my god. This is the dining.

room you'll be in. Oh my god, dude. Who. else is my crew? I have to know who my. crew is. They're not going to tell you. Kid Rock will probably be there again. Yeah, I think he goes a bunch. He's got. a h he's got a room there. Now, did Would Did Bill get scorched for. going? No, I don't think so. What do you. mean? A little bit. Did he? But did it I. don't think it mattered. Left. From the. left. Yeah, he is. He is left. It's a. little senator feel. Yeah, it changed. recently. Oh my god, this is so.

exciting. I've never had anything. You. know what? Honestly, dude, if this is. false, you're going to break my heart if. it's one of your little shenanigans. Acorns. Today's episode is sponsored by. Acorns. Acorns is a financial wellness. app that makes it easy to start saving. and investing for your future. You have. to be a squirrel and you have to take. the nut and you have to put it in the. tree hole because winter's coming. Winter is coming. Winter even might be. here. What's the best piece of a money.

advice that you ever got, Bobby? Mine. was save some. Yeah. Have some fun, but. make sure Yeah. You got a little. something hidden away in the mattress. And now we're not doing mattresses. anymore. My grandfather said take be. squirrel. Be squirrel. Take a pull a. hole. Put it there. Yeah. Bobby's a. little bit older than me. He's been. saving a little bit longer cuz he's. smarter than me as well. I just recently. started kind of actually putting away. for the future. I don't have kids, okay? But I want to put away for my other. loved ones and you you may want that too. if you whether you have kids or not. But.

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customers who have already saved and. invested over $25 billion with Acorns, head over to acorns.com/badfriends or. download the Acorns app to get started. Paid not endorsement compensation. provides incentive to positively promote. Acorns. Tier three compensation provided. investing involves risk. Acorns. Advertisers LLC and SEC registered. investment advertiser. View important. disclosures at acorns.com/badfriends. Oh, what? Your flat feet. Oh, my flat. Oh, your shoulder. Oh, my shoulder. Oh, my shoulder is because of my flat feet. I need to go see a doctor. How do I go. find one? You got to get you you got to. go to Zuck. And I'll tell you what it. is. Zachduck is a free app, Andrew, and.

website where you can search and compare. highquality in network doctors and click. to instantly book an appointment. Oh, I. know about Zach, right? Because you can. filter for doctors that take your. insurance. They're located near you, right? And then also uh they they kind. of have like um an actual booking. appointments. You can do it and. instantly book. You click a visit right. away, right? Yeah. Wow. And appointments. made through ZT Talk. Andrew, I don't. know if you know this, also happen super. fast. Typically within uh 70 24 to 72.

hours of booking and you can even score. same day appointments. You think I can. get an appointment for my neck? Yeah. Okay, good. And and honestly, I need it. really bad because I want someone that's. in my neighborhood and I want real. patient reviews. Did they do that? Yeah, you 100% do it. Oh god. Well, then can. you tell me how to where do I go? And I. I got to Well, I got to tell you. something else before that. Right. Stop. putting off those doctor's appointment, Andrew, and go to. zdoc.com/badfriends to find and. instantly book a toprated doctor today. I'm not good at spelling. Is that. zoocdocc.com/badfriends? I'm not good at either, but I think you.

got it right. I think it's. zdock.com/badfriends. Yep. Did you see that? It was It was like um. the family that died in the Hudson. Can't stop thinking about it. I don't. know, dude. I can't stop thinking about. this family that died in the hut. I. don't know anything about it. So, explain it to me. I really don't know. anything about it. I've just been. watching the Chinese tariff stuff. Let. me tell you something. No one knows. enough about it. That's the scariest. part. This helicopter like broke in. midair and the only thing we know is he. was he was high up at Seammens, the uh. tech uh technology company. Oh no. A New.

York City sightseeing helicopter broke. apart and crashed into the huts of. Riffen Ridge near New Jersey shoreline, killing the pilot and a Spanish family. of five were on board. piece of the. aircraft can be found. Blah blah blah. How did it happen? Witnesses described. seeing the helicopter's tail and main. rotor break away. Smoke pouring from the. spinning chopper. It slammed in the. water. Victims uh were Austin Escobar. Uh oh, that's a tough last name to have. His wife Marie Kamuchcci Montal and the. three children Victor Mercedes Augustine. and Kia an executive at Seammens was in. the New York area on business. I mean,

this is [ __ ] insane. You don't find. this crazy? You don't think this is this. is conspiratorial? Oh, it's conspiracy. Did helicopters just break? Is this a. thing that happens? Lily, are they. fishermen? Fishermen? What does that mean? Like a. seaman? No. Seamans, the like the phone. company, you know, Seammens. S I E I. mean electronics. Oh, I don't know. Sorry. Maybe delete that. That was so. dumb. No, it was actually really good. I. want that out there. That was so dumb. No, do that at Trump. Was it was Aquaman. there? Yeah, he.

Were there dolphins? Bobby, is this you? Uh, here. There's a. bunch of people on the internet saying. that this might be you. Okay, let's see. it. Zoom in a little bit more, please. Love it. Dude, I can't even do that. Try. I can't. do that. Yes, you can. No, I can't do it. like that. All right. So, where do I do it? Start. it again so you can see it.

[Laughter]. [Music]. That chick's ripping, by the way. Yeah, dude. So many people thought it was you. So 5,000 likes. Anybody else think this. was Bobby. Lee? I mean, it's 100% you. That's insane. And the [ __ ] You know. what? Enough of the [ __ ] Korean deer. This [ __ ] I get tagged. Anyone that. looks Asian, I got get I get the same.

thing for redhead. I get the same thing. if they're acting. And also, can I just. say another All right, stop. Can I just. say another thing, my friend? All right, stop yelling out Down syndrome out of. your car. Why? I'm walking down the. street, people just yell at Down. syndrome. And I I I don't even And then. there's people around me and looking at. me like as if I have it. [ __ ] you. I get. Bobby's mom all day long. You do, right? You look right by and yell it out, right? All day long. Yeah. It's like. it's it doesn't stop. You know what I. mean? I sat next to our good buddy David Chang.

on the way back home, by the way. Oh, hello. You love Dave Chang. I love him. so much. He's the best. You know, he's. he's in he tore his rotator cuff. Is that a He's in like an arm He's in. like an arm sling. I thought it was. cooking equipment. I'm really off today. Or maybe it was his labor some. Whatever. it was, he tore some. He's in an arm. sling. Wow. Okay. Is Is he dying? He's on He's. on his way out. No, I'm saying you. should wish him well. Be like, "I heard. about your Dave, wish you well. I'm. sorry about your Why don't you text him?

Shoot him a text." I should What? Really? Brag. Brag. Be like, "Hey, sorry. about your arm. I'm inv I got invited to. the White House." Okay. Have you been to the White House? Say. that. What an invite. I don't think I. have his number. Yeah, you do. David Chang. Yeah. There. we go. I'm going to say, What do I say? You compose it for me. I heard you. I. heard. I heard. I heard. I heard about the injury. I'll.

just say I heard. I heard. That's it. Send. Get well. Yeah. Get well. Get well soon. P.S. Yeah. Got invited to. the White House. No. Why? Okay. Because. if it's wrong, I feel like they're. trolling me. These people are trolling. me. Who? These guys. What about the. White House? Where did the email come. from? The first one, Matt, that's for What did Abby say? Oh, Aby's on this email. Yeah, I know. I got. the email from your assistant. Oh, look. what it says. Sunday night got back to.

them. Thank you so much. Forward on. Andres, the White House press. secretary. Oh my god. Look at this, Bob. What? Caroline Levit, press White House. press secretary. Oh, this is the. original email. Wait. Caroline Levit. That's what it says. That's who reaches. out. You know who that is, right? Yeah. The press secretary. Yeah. Wow. On. behalf of Nothing from you. I'm reaching. out. I'm I'm a little [ __ ] annoyed. I.

want to go. Well, every year I mean, you. know, Barack invited me, Biden invited. me. You know, it's just my every. president invites me, you know, so it's. just my thing. Cool. But I'm a man of. the world and you're not. You're like. America, you know. Yeah. Yeah. You're. going to the White House. America. Yeah. I also seen uh other places. Where? Mone. The guy right back there. No, the. Paris guy. Macan. Macron.

Macarron. Macaroon. Macaroon. It's. delicious. Have you met Croissant? I. have. I have. No. Do I? You know. Come. on. I would never go to anywhere like. that. This might end the show actually. without you. No. This might this. actually might end the show. Why? Cuz. it's this you're without you I don't go. You're obviously a superstar. You've. left me in the dust. You're doing a lot. Con is nodding. And that's true. You've. left me in the dust. You're doing your. own thing. It's fine. You're I You. mentioned Theo. You're in my You. mentioned Theo right away. The first.

thing you said was because of Theo. Your. your best buddy, your closest confidant. You're in Why can't you see me part. eight. with the magic? That's good. Maybe. they'll give me a shitty trophy. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, is this what we're gonna. do? Right. It'll actually be a good. movie. Did you get one for House. Party? I gotta call my agent. Anyway, God, we're in a lot of bad movies, eh? Yeah. You know, we're dead. Would they.

in the business? Well, we're dead in the. business. We're dead in the business. We're 100. Do you ever think that all. the time? Are you kidding me? Yeah. I. like We were so dead in the business, but we created our own thing. Created. our own show. Yeah. Yeah. But we are. dead in Hollywood. And our animated. show, we just did an animatic for and. it's gonna come out. They gave us the. news. It's gonna come out in 2028. That's a while. Right around the corner. Yeah. It's actually, no joke, is 2027. That's literally when the show is going. to come out. When they said that, I. almost was like, I can't even believe. that's a thing. Yeah. But you know what? That's a thing. It's an opportunity. I'm. happy. Yeah. I'm happy we're going to be.

able to do it. But guess what, guy? I've. been think I've been going to therapy. and I've been thinking a lot about it. A. lot about it. And um I'm on if if I look. at my phone. What does it say? This is. it. This is it. Strokes. That Yeah, that's a. good album. It's a great album. I know. But this is you and me together sitting. here with our pals. Oh, I know what. happened. What? You like saw one of. those David Foster Wallace things and. now you're [ __ ] hung on like this is.

water. I know what's going on. Everybody. goes through this. You're having like a. David Foster Wallace moment where you're. like two fish are swimming in the ocean. and one is. like what's water? It's like you're in. it, man. You have to be one with water. Now. you're Bruce Lee. Yeah, Bruce Lee. Dude, want can flow between Do you know what. I'm referring to? David Foster Wallace. Like every college kid reads this book. Yeah, it's actually beautiful. Well, tell me some of the concepts and I'll.

agree with that. Infinite gest. But. there's a there's a look up David Foster. Walliff. This is water. Look up. This is. water. It's actually beautiful. Okay. But you're on this kick and I really I. shouldn't [ __ ] on it. I love you. But it's incredible. This is water is. amazing. Okay. Have you read it? I have. Infinite Jest. Uh pretty pretty amazing. This is water. Give me just give me the. gist of the book. The idea is this. Yeah. Oh, this is it. There it is. There are these two young.

fish swimming along. They happen to meet. an older fish swimming the other way. Wait, wait, hold on. Okay. No, no. I. just There are too young a fish. That's. not what I'm saying. I don't know. Okay, I got to visualize it. So, close your. eyes. Close your eyes. And there's two. fish. There two and there's a bit older. fish. Two young fish swimming along. They Does it matter what kind or one is. one is a carp and the other one is a uh. one of those [ __ ] Nemo ones or. whatever. Goldfish. No, the one with the. clown fish. Clown fish? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Two clown fish, baby. Baby ones. Two baby clown fish are swimming along. and a great white's going and they. happen to meet at the Great White's.

going the other way. going the other. way. Okay. Who nods at them and says, "Morning boys. How's the water?" That's. not what he sounds like. It's a great. white. Morning boys. Yeah, that's what. it How's the water? Yeah, exactly. And. the two young fish, the two young clown. fish, they swim for a bit and eventually. one of them looks at the other one and. goes, "What the hell is water?". In this moment, you're worried I plan to. present myself as the wise old fish. explaining what water is to young fish. Please don't be. I'm not the old wise. fish. The immediate point of the fish. story is that the most obvious, ubiquitous, important realities are. often the ones that we are hardest to.

see and talk about. What it is is we're. taking not taking stuff for granted. What it says on your phone is what this. is. What I don't get that analogy. I swear. to God I don't. You know, I'm not good. with riddles either, so I don't know. This is it. This is water. You're we're. someone you'll look back in 20 years or. 10 maybe. I don't know how long you're. going to make it, but you know, and you. know what? That that right there is what. I'm going to the White House by feel bad. about. I knew it. You're a [ __ ] piece. of [ __ ] You won't be dead in 10 years. Thank you. Anyway, with you and me, two.

young fish are swimming along in the. ocean. One takes a giant [ __ ]. and a beautiful female fish comes by. What the [ __ ] is wrong with you guys? Yeah. All right, listen. Okay, you're. This is it. I'm being in all genuine. respect because I love you and I respect. you. Because a lot of times you go you. go you're in the moment. You're living a. lot of times you go oh well we're doing. this Hulu show. It comes down to when. that happens it's going to be great and. right you have to live in it now. Yeah. I mean when I meet the one that when. that happens it's like this is it. This.

is it. You mean we're I'm living life. now. We're the leads of our movie. This. is water. This is water. I understand. This is water. Yeah. This is water. You. have to be one with you know Bruce Lee. Okay. I get it. But this is water. You're dead on Bruce Lee then. Do it. again then. This you have to be one with. water. What? You got peanut butter in. your mouth? What are you doing? Yeah, he. loved peanut butter and jelly. sandwiches. That's what killed him. That. is that true? Yeah. Yeah. Bruce Lee died. from DBJ. I don't know. I don't know. But um but I'm happy that you're on this. new kick. What made you do this? Therapy.

got you to this. This is This is it. Yes. Bruce Lee incorporated peanut. butter into his diet, particularly as a. component of protein. No, I would I. didn't have to look it up. Bruce Lee was. highly against jelly, however. Yeah. Interesting. Okay. Doesn't say that on. there, but my point is is this. Okay. Um, well, you know, I went Bobby, you. look a lot like Bruce Lee. I wanted to. tell you that. You know that's what he's. going to say, right? Oh my god. My son. Baron said, "You're you're a wonderful. funny guy." I think you're a very funny. guy. I love Mad TV. I love Mad TV. Wow.

Wow. I love Mad TV. What I don't like. about Mad TV is Yeah, they had a lot of. DEI. I didn't like the DEI. I mean, I. mean, could I say that I voted for Kamla. or No. What? That's rude. Yeah, you can. But then would I get kicked out? No. He'd go, "And I won, didn't I? I won." I. go, "Yes, sir. You good job." You have. to bow. I would do it. I would be a. [ __ ] You would 100%. I would tremble. I would shake. I. Yeah. Yeah. Your excellency. Yeah. Yeah. No, but um this is water. I'm glad.

you're going through this in therapy. Well, it's because, you know, I went. through some depression and then I was. like, I got to get out of this and then. just go go back to my techniques of, you. know, being grounded in in reality. because a lot of things you read on the. internet or that the things that occur. in your mind aren't real. That's. incredible though. Yeah, you do feel. this way that you're getting to a place. where you're accepting reality. You feel. really good. I feel so good and I. appreciate that. I thank you. I thank. you more. I'd like you I'd like you to. take me to the White House. Yeah. Yeah, you will. Listen, um, yeah, when Pete.

Budachet is [ __ ] uh, president, which. will never happen, so you'll go then. My. point is is this. All right. I want to. tell Bad Friends fans this. All right. There we'd be no I don't even know how. to speak. There would be no Bad Friends. if it wasn't for Andrew because I'm so. lazy and aloof, right? So, he organizes. everything and this machine, he's the. captain of the ship. You know what I. mean? You are. Take me to dinner. That's. all I want. Just take me to the theater.

all the time. All right. Thank you for. saying that. Anyway, it's very nice. Yeah. Stop this. Hey, can I can I tell. you something right now? Yeah. Speaking. of bad friends fans, what are you doing? You're reading text from your agents and. stuff. What do they say? I want to look. What did they say? No, it's from the. somebody. Let's move on. Is it from a. friend? Yeah. What did they say? What. plans? What about plans? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, no. No. Oh no. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. How about plan? I'm excited to go.

to London and Dublin. I'm actually so. excited to go do these shows. I miss. doing shows. Bad friend shows. But it's. also why can't we stay in these towns. for longer? I mean, they're so back to. back. We are. We got to go earlier then. No, no, no. What's going to happen is. Yeah. We'll go early to London and then. when we go to Dublin the next day, we. can stay in Dublin a little while. Oh. So, we'll go three days in London. Sure. Then do the show and then go to Ireland. and then spend the next three days in. Ireland. Sure. cuz I want to see your. shamrocks and all that stuff here. I. mean, all the things that you want to.

see where I grew up. Yeah. Yeah. Out on. the valley. Well, because you know. redheads have to come from Ireland. No, we're more That's where your people come. from. There's more Scots in Scots and. English that are Irish than than But. you're Italian. How does the redhead. thing happen? Well, when two people love. each other very much. Tell me, explain. And they come from two different places. My mother's Irish, my dad's Italian. How? That's not hard math. Oh, so you're. half. Your mom is Korean and your dad is. Sorry. Your dad is Korean and your mom.

is That's it. That's it. I got it. confused. Yeah. Did you get enough sleep. last night? No sleep. Yeah. Me either. I've had no sleep in so long. By the. way, on this tour that I was just on. these like 10 12 days I was gone, I. don't think I got one night of good. sleep. And by the way, in. Miami. is it's too much. It's [ __ ] too much. There's every night someone's like, "Hey, come to this thing. Come to this. thing." And I can't say no because I. feel like I'm supposed to. It's part of. the job. I'm supposed to go out with. these people. That's one show we never.

did. Miami. Miami. Yeah. No. Didn't we. pay Fort Lauderdale? Hollywood. Yeah. We. did. We did. We did. But that's up. north. That's different. Yeah. Miami. Beach is It's just insane. You me Logan. We could have a good time there. Logan. Roy Paul. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Jake. Jake. Paul. I mean, we had a good time though. Oh, yeah. We had dinner at Newu. Yeah. That was nice. It was nice. Yeah. Did he. fly you out on a jet? No, but first. class, right? Mhm. Yeah. Yeah. Yes. I know. You asked him as if he was. on the plane with you. I was. You were?

I went to Miami with him. I didn't know. that. Yeah, he went. What did you guys. do in Miami? We went to Nou. Yeah, that's it. And he came to this gig with. me. He's like my handler. What's a gig? You performed? No, I did this podcast. But he acts as if my lean. Yeah, we hung. out. Had a couple dinners. It was fun. Yeah. They paid for it. Wow. Yeah. Yeah. You know, me and Carlos hang out. No, you don't. Have we gone to other places? Mhm. Yeah. Been here a long time ago. Yeah. With Charlie on Third Street. The. Chinese place. Charlie Finn. Mhm. I love.

that guy. Yeah. Good times. My friend. Charlie Finn. I like him. You know him? No. I like his work. I don't know him. I. like him. I like his sweet face. He's my. best friend. He was my best friend. before. you. 15 years ago. He's my best friend. Wow. You could switch. You could switch. bad friends. I mean, best friends. I. mean, look at that sitcom. I remember. that. It's like three guys in a girl in. a pizza place or whatever. Hot dog on a. stick. Uh-oh. Hot dog on a stick.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's really good. Honestly. Yeah. Why did you lose contact. with Charlie Finn? He moved. Well, you. can't call him. No, we call We talked to. each other. I'm trying to get him to do. standup. Wait, he did. He used to do. standup. No, he just doesn't know what. to do out there. Why did he move there? I mean, you know, let's be honest, for a. during this woke age of acting, white. dudes took a second. You know what I. mean? There's so many white dudes and. they're using more minorities. Speak on. it, brother. You know what I mean? That.

this is good white house fire. This will. go far. No, I'm I'm just his point of. view. I'm not my point of view. I'm glad. he's out. Get out of here, Charles. But, you know, that's what happened. Well, he missed. me. He called me. Who did? Uh, Matt. Call him. Okay. By the way, Cubs Cubs. took two out of three from the Dodgers. I was at the game last night. 16 to. nothing. Hey, Bobby. You're on Bad. Friends. You don't have to answer much. Okay. What's that? You're on Bad. Friends. You don't have to answer much. You don't have to talk that much. I'm. just going to ask you a question. Okay.

Is that email real from the White House? Select quote. Oh my god. So many things. in life we just never get around to. Okay. uh starting that hobby, cleaning. out the garage, you know, the little. things that don't really make huge. differences in our lives. Yet, there's. one thing that most of us has probably. been neglecting that has a huge impact. on our family's future. It's life. insurance. And it's sad to say, we're. all going to go. We're all going to go. We are. And with Select quote, getting. covered with the right policy for you is.

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they'll work with carriers that can get. you the same day coverage with no. medical exam required. So head over to. selectquote.com and a licensed insurance. agent will call you right away with the. right policy for your life and your. budget. Get the right life insurance for. you for less and. selectquote.com/badfriends. Go to selectquote.com/badfriends today. to get started. That's. selectquote.com/bad. friends. Hello. HelloFresh makes it. easier to fit quick home-cooked meals. into your schedule every week by. curating delicious recipes like pasta.

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Free meals applied as discount on first. box. New subscribers only. Varies by. plan. That's. right. I got called to the White House. to have dinner with Donald Trump. Uh I don't know about it. We're on Bad. Friends. Um I don't know. I'll find out. Okay, but if if they're if these guys. are playing a trick on me, dude, I'm. going to fire them. Who? [ __ ] these. [ __ ] pieces of [ __ ] Anyway, find out. if it's real. Love you. All right. Bye.

Bye. Bye. Honestly, one of the best agents in the. business. Carlo Carlos, come here. No, I'm hiding. Yeah, because it's not real, right? What do you Come here. No, listen. to me right now, dude. What I'm saying. to you is is that it's like the donut. thing. I don't like when I'm being. tricked. Yeah. Yeah. And then I brought. you donuts the next episode. Am I being. tricked now? No, it happened all this. weekend. How does my agent not know. about it? He does. It's just a lot of. stuff going on this weekend. He's. probably watching the Masters. Abby. would know. Your manager. Okay. Yeah.

Well, then we're good. Yeah, I promise. you. Call Abby. Oh my god. Or maybe even. Theo because Yeah. No, not Theo, dude. He invited you. Yeah. You don't invited. I assume Kid Rock will be there. If Abby. doesn't pick up right now, I'm going to. lose my mind. Why? cuz it's just like. I'm called her three times. She's not. picking up. That's I'm her only client. Does she Does she live alone? Hello. Hi, Abby. Hi. Is that email or correct real. that the White House one?

Which one? What? I was invited to the. White House by Donald Trump. Your email or mine? You're on. You're. CCed on it. Yeah, you're CCed on it. Hold on. When When did you get it? When. did she check her emails? When did I get. it? No, they didn't email you. They. emailed Matt. Oh, CA. CIA. They emailed. CA and you and you're tagged in it. Is. that not real? Okay. Could you get me.

off the podcast? Yeah, you're on the. podcast. Yeah. Yeah, I I figured that. No, it didn't happen. It didn't happen. Okay. Thank you so much. All right. Bye. Hell of a forgery, huh? I'm so [ __ ]. mad. You have no idea how mad I am. Why? What? I texted that thing to a girl I'm. hanging out with. So before you did anything, you told all. your friends to show like, bro, you said.

that to some. Why did you said that? What did she say? What did she say? Can. I call? She's No, it's not real. I was. tricked by my employees. say employees. That's such a funny text. message you get. It's not real. I was. tricked by my employees. You think Bezos. writes that ever? It's not real. Attention, Amazon workers. It's not. real. You guys are evil little demons,

dude. Who came up with that? Carlos, dude, he took the credit. Who forged it? You did. Did you guys have anything to. do with it? Nothing. No way. You You want to play these games? It's. It's war. No, there's no war. Yeah, it's. it's it's war for all three of you. Listen to me. Okay, Bob, please. No, I'm. being real. I'm being real. It's war. How? The donuts is one thing. You made. me look like a fool in front of this.

person I'm seeing, right? And she's. like, "You just met her. You went on one. date." Also, you're not seeing her. It's. a good joke. She probably thinks it's. funny. Yeah, you're You think she thinks. that's [ __ ] up? That's funny. Okay. Well, I think it's [ __ ] up. I don't. like being tricked and and and and um. bamboozled. I think that's the right. word. He's never done anything like this. before. So, there's some bamboo. bamboozling coming your way, but this is. Korean style, right? So, it's a little. harsher, right? And it's there's some. implications and it's going to get What.

do you mean? Career implications. You know what I mean? And there's a lot. of like you think that I'm I don't. respond to your text now. What do you think is going to happen. now? Chachi 100% this dude GTA too. She. texted me again. Let me see what she. said. The movie you wrote. What did she say? She laughed. See, I told I got you a. laugh. The movie that you wrote with. Benji. Never going to do it. You know. what? Can I tell people you're attached? No. I'm never going to do it. I promise. Like his zombie movie, right? I'm never.

doing both of those things now. Right. He had nothing to do with it. and Mone, you jibbering little goof face. All. right, you [ __ ] I know things, too, man. Get him, dude. Yeah, but I'm not. going to say [ __ ] Okay, can can I be. honest with you? Yeah, it's not you. You're my best friend. Well, no, I'm not. a part of it, but but honestly, yeah, it's kind of funny. It's very funny. Yeah, it's pretty funny. It's so good. No, it's good. Well, it was really good. But you know what? I I like I like to. cause laughter, too. Yeah, you have. And.

I like to I like to spread joy, too. So, I'm going to spit some joy your way on. your expense. Have they ever Have they. Has he ever deceived you before? Yes. All the time. Beyond the donuts. Oh. Oh, yeah. The water. What water? From from. Air1 water. The Awan sink water. I. remember all those things. That was a. good bit. And they're little little. little stab wounds in my heart. What's. another one they got? I don't remember. There's been so many. They're not stab. wounds. They're kisses. They're not. kisses. They're comedy kisses. Yeah. And. me not doing your movie is a kiss.

All right. Fine. I'll just get zombie. any other comic kiss. You hear what he. said? What? Get get. Carlos. What up? I know. You know what? I'm acting. foolish. Oh, so you will do it? No, I. don't think I can do that. I have to. read it first. But um that was a really. No, honestly, dude, you're right. You. know, honestly, dude, that was really. good. Thanks, Bob. And you know, I I'm. really going to laugh about it later. I'll tell you that. This is so. threatening. It's not. It's Korean.

threatening like staring. I enjoy it. You know, it's Wow. But if you. retaliate, I'll just hit back. Like, whoa. Oh, what? So, it's You said. there was We're in a tariff war now. No, you said that's what you hit me back. I. hit you back. You started the [ __ ]. war. You'll see. Right. If he starts Let me ask you about. war. I don't know much about war. Yeah. All right. You're a general. Uhhuh. We. got Hey boss,

what do you want? Chang. No, Phillip. Williams. Philip Williams in this scenario. Right, right, right, right. Yes, Philly. Yeah, Phillip. Sure. Okay. Anyway, guy. Oh my. god. Bellarus just shot a rocket at San. Francisco. Bellarus. Yeah, Bellarus. The country. Yeah. Good. Dude, we got to get rid of. that [ __ ] [ __ ] hole anyway. So, what. do we do? No, they bomb San Francisco.

Yeah, that's fine with me. Oh, I'm San. Francisco now. Is what I am. Oh, yeah. You know, I love. San Francisco. On your tombstone, Bobby. Lee. I'm San Francisco. Dude, that. letter looks so good. It's [ __ ]. great. It's so great. Yeah. What a. wonderful thing. Wow. But what Bill. Mahar ate at the White House. That's. real. Yeah. And he said, No, was what he. got flagged for is he was super a nice. guy. Mhm. Who was Bill Maher that Donald. Trump was? Oh, he was saying he was a. nice guy. Yeah. He was like he's not.

what you think he is when he's on, you. know what I mean? Camera, you know, on. the side. He's like just a regular guy. I'm sure. Yeah. I'm sure. Just like. everybody you meet. Yeah. Like, hey man, pull my finger. You know what I mean? All that kind of stuff. He's doing pull. my finger stuff. I don't know. He whoopy. cushion somebody in the [ __ ] White. House. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You know, I. think you just destroyed this this date. that I Dude, it destroyed it. Yeah. Yeah. Makes it better. It makes me like. a mean. I'm the blind following the. blind toward a cliff.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We all fall. Do you have a date. with this person coming up again? Probably done now. No way. Cuz I'm a. loser. No chance, dude. Thanks, guy. How. many times have you gone out with her? I. can't believe I fell for. it. That's what make That's where the. shame is. I was like I felt like and. then slamming you like you didn't get. invited. That was foolish of me. Yeah, it was. Wow. Yeah, you would definitely. get invited before me. No. And then the. next time I don't know. No, but what is.

interesting the way you reacted? It was. very It was a good test. What was the. test like? What was I like? Um gloating. Gloaty. Yeah. Very self-indulgent. Really? Yeah. Well, cuz I was like, man, I want to go. And you're like, you don't. get invited to stuff like this. I'm more. cultured. I'm more worldly. Yeah. You brought up Theo pretty quick. You brought up Theo very quick. And. that's fine, dude. Dude, that's fine. This This is the worst time. I've ever had on Bad Friends. I look.

like a fool. No, you don't. Yeah. Yeah. You don't look like a fool. Yeah. You. know what? I want to apologize. You look. like a fool. I want I want to apologize. to everyone listening. Okay. I did. believe it was true. I did gloat. I made. myself a fool. Right. And I'm blushing. right now. You can't tell because when. you yellow, it hits red. Stays yellow. And um yellow mixes with red. Yeah. I'm. blushing. Isn't that purple? Okay. Show. them your penis. That's exactly what it. is. And I want to say that um I really.

bought it. Yellow and red is brown. Yeah. That's why my face is brown. Is. that That's those spots you have. Yeah. When you mix red and yellow, you get the. color orange. You get me. Yeah. Wow. Man, we are really like a We are really. like tied. We're tied together. Yeah, we're tied deep. But um very nice. Thanks, Bobby. Thank you. Very, very. nice. I feel like you're like on the. edge of mania right now. He is. Oh, no. I'm not. Oh my god. That would answer.

like a serial kill. No. No. No. Oh no, dude. I'm growing. No. Oh yeah. No, you're not. This is it. This would be a. good opportunity. This is it, dude. You. mean this is the beginning? This is the. beginning of the end, right? Yeah. Yeah. But in a good way. Yeah. This is a great. time to grow right now in this moment. Yeah, I am. So, yeah, I'll do your. movie. Hell yeah. Yeah, I'll do your. movie for sure. Hell yeah. And andreas, I'm going to do your movie. Thank you. You know what I mean? Hey, call me.

What is this? I just saw this online. I. sent it to y'all, but y'all didn't. respond. Oh my god. Look. Okay. Wow. Well, that's that's cool. She had. to hold her breath. Yeah. Right there. They like disconnected her life so she. could Jesus. That's ter Carlos. That's. awful. That's awful, dude. I I don't. think that's the right one. You find. some really dark [ __ ] in that thing. Give me another Yeah, give me another.

one. Oh, you could put your finger in. it. Oh god, dude. Dude, your mind right. now, dude. You're gross. You're gross, dude. You could put your finger in her. neck. That's insane. That is an insane. video. All right, let's see what else. Can I say something real fast about this. before we move on? Look, I'm not. laughing at this this young lady. This. is not This is not a comedy video. That's not funny. It's not funny. No, it's not funny. And let me say. something. Let me say something else, though. Conversely, yeah. Why are they. putting that on the internet? If you. want to share that with your family and.

friends, that's fine. This is a priv. private moment. If I had a baby like. that, no one would even know. Stop it. No, because of privacy, right? Privacy. Yeah. Would you do like a. magazine spread like in people or. something? No, no, no, no. She would. just be in the attic. If this guy. married somebody famous, you know, he'd. be the first one to get a people deal. Oh, yeah. 100%. Who? You. Really? If you. married a famous girl or a model that. you wanted, you would 100% sell it to so. everyone would see it. See the this baby. see your marriage and your wedding. You.

know, people sell weddings to People. magazine. You would do that 100% if like. this this person that you're seeing now. Yeah. You would 100. You would tell the. press. No. I'm going to keep it private. Anyway, um we'll put her Instagram link. right below here. Click here to see her. Shut up, dude. Of course not. That's. insane. Okay. I don't like that video. Okay. Who's that? Shout out to Rory. Maroy for winning uh winning the. Masters. I I did think Justin Rose was. going to come back and win it, but he. Irish. Northern Irish, though. Different. side. That's upstairs, dude. We're down.

downstairs, people. Also, um. congratulations on Arsenal FC for. beating Real Madrid in the first leg of. the Champions League. That's huge. We. won three zero. Declan Rice, two free. kicks. Oh my god, they were beautiful. Two free kicks. He's never dude. This. dude Declan Rice, we bought him for $100. million from West Ham. Bought him. The. team bought him. I didn't buy. And so he. is an interesting way to talk about he's. never made a free kick in his life. He.

makes two free kicks in one game in a. Champions League match against Real. Madrid. Think about the amount of head. that guy's going to get. It it it was. also at home. So, the Emirates went. crazy. I mean, it was like commentators. were like I mean it was mindblowing. They were perfect. The. curvature, you know, I got to look it. up. What turned What turned this guy. into such a magician in the in this in. such an important moment. Well, he's a. really good player. He's a very good. defensive midfielder. He attacks too.

But I mean, uh the those two I don't. know what it is. It's just like Say his. name again. Uh Declan Rice. Declan Rice. Yeah. And Yeah. See, he's on the cover. of it of the uh the highlights. And so. Baka Saka turns to him and goes he's. like, "What do I do?" And he goes, Bakaya goes, "If you feel it, just kick. it cuz he cuz they wanted him to cross. the ball in." And he just felt it. And. I'm telling you, dude, it was beautiful.

You have to understand, Real Madrid, every person on that team is an allstar. It's like the, you know, Olympic. basketball American team. Yeah. You know. what I mean? It's like that's what Real. Madrid is. Wow. Yeah. It was. unbelievable. And I mean, it was. probably boring what I just said. It's a. good-looking guy, this kid. Huh? Yeah. And here's another thing. Stop shaming. his girlfriend. What about What's wrong. with her? People are like, "You could do. better, but it's like their childhood. boyfriend, girlfriend. Who cares?". What's wrong with her? Why Why are you. laughing? I don't understand. Cuz I know.

why you brought that up. Why? Because. you want us to shame his girlfriend. No. No. That's Oh my god. Let me see. Go. through some photos. She looks What's. the What's the issue? Yeah. Bob, what's. the issue? Why? No. I love her. I would. I would date her. What's the issue, Bob? People shame him going, "You could do. better." Like, you know, wags. You know. what wags are? What is a wag? Wags are. football um girlfriends or girl. Yeah. Wives and girlfriends group. Yeah. Yeah. And they're And you know, if you look at. like she's not high on the wag list. No,

I would put her high. No, you wouldn't. Yes, I would. We could hike together. Look at wags. Just what wags are look. like. These are wags. Yeah. Yeah. These. are the wives and girlfriends of soccer. playing. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And they're. usually like a certain type. Hot. No, you know, go to the one like you. know they're wags and then people um go. they shame Declan. Dean, you know what. what I love about Declan? goes, "She's.

the love of my life. [ __ ] off." Yeah. And I I love that. Yeah. You know what I. mean? You know, let me see his Why I. don't understand the big deal here. Yeah. Me either. Like if you know Yeah. She looks just like the others. [ __ ] you, dude. If you're the problem. with society, dude. Oh, that's very. interesting. It's like It's like It's. like Andreas's wife. They probably go, "You can do better." But she's like, "I'm in love." But I do think she can do.

better. I know she can, but she's like, "I'm in love." What's that Japanese. thing you're wearing? What does it say. on your head? That's That's the Dodgers. That's for Show Otani. Oh, yeah. He's. great. I was at the Dodger game last. night. We beat him 16 to nothing. Took. the series. And I will say something. The amount of baseball fans, Japanese. and Asian fans, he's brought. is He's worth all the half a billion. they gave him. Oh, yeah. Easily. Easily. He's brought so much [ __ ] money to. this team. Yeah, it look at the Dude,

these stands are filled with people that. are first time goers. You Dude, sometimes they fly here from Japan to go. to the [ __ ] game. Okay. No, why would you laugh at that photo of. these Japanese people laughing? Just. that girl too happy right there on the. left. She's excited. Yeah. Yeah. It's I. don't know. It's like somebody just made. freshlymade boba or something. Sticky bun. fresh. Yeah, she's happy. Okay. I mean,

honestly though, dude, he brought the. fan. Like, there was a row of of of. people in front of us that, you know, I. could hear they didn't speak English and. they were there for show. Wow. I mean, it's unbelievable. He He just really. like draws up. He's also a specimen. Look up his [ __ ] chart. You You know. who Shi Atani is? Yeah, I do. I I. watched the World Series last year. He's. a god. He's got to be 66. How How much. does he weigh? Go to his. stats. He dude, this guy is superhuman. 209 pounds. How tall is he? 6'4. 6'4. He.

is You never seen a Japanese guy that. big. What's his wife look like? Does she. have a wag? Choyotani's wife is uh. Milio. Oh, she's an athlete, too. I. remember that. Yeah. A pro basketball. player. She's a wag. Zoom in on that. She's wagon, dude. Okay, so I'm going to use this term a. lot. Wag. Wag. Yeah, wag's a good one. Wives and I love your wag. Wives and. girlfriends. That's right. But it's of. athletes. That's right. We don't get. wags, man. You're a golfer. We get wags.

You're a golfer. That's right. Yeah. You're an Dude, you're an athlete. In another life, you. could have been an athlete. The way. honestly the way he bowls, it's like. I've never seen anything like it. I do. love bowls. Like anything, the only. thing that I can think I can beat you. was ping pong probably. Yeah, maybe. Have you been playing? Dude, if you beat me in ping pong, I'm. going to kill myself. Let's do a Bad. Friends ping pong challenge and let's. seriously I'm serious. Let's get a.

table. Yeah, Bobby will win cuz I beat. you pretty bad at ping pong and Bobb's. good. When did you beat me at ping pong. in Mexico? In Mexico. I remember. I was. [ __ ] up. He was drunk. Yeah. Yeah. I I. was [ __ ] up. You didn't beat me sober. Beat me sober. And you were sober. Yes. You didn't drink was sober. Interesting. And you see how he got a little chippy. right there? That's an interesting little move, kid. You're done. No more nothing. What? I. thought we were back. Good. No. You. think I was I was [ __ ] kidding, dude. You're done, dude. All right.

We're toast, dude. War. Yeah, I didn't. start it. Yeah, but now that we're at. war, I have to fight. But I haven't even. attacked you back. I'm getting ready. Okay, Carlos, look into the camera. Say, "Thank you for being a bad friend, and I. might not be here next week." Thank you. for being a bad friend. I might not be. here next week. Great. [Music]. Woo! Woo!

[Music].