Bobby Has Night Sweats and Brad Pitt Fever Dreams | Ep 110 | Bad Friends

you two are bad friends who are these. two idiots. white dude i'm an asian dude. you two are disgusting. well you two or something we're bad. friends. you know who i am right now man who are. you dog coven 19 bobby lee 2022 wuhan. dog what's up. from the streets of. san diego power california what's up. what's up deep the titans are in the. house dog are we gonna keep our mask on. the whole time rudy no keep your mask.

off dog yo dog be like herman cain dawg. herman cain do what are you gonna do. rudy gonna keep it on i mean i have. immunity for like four months since i. got covered last night i know. but i don't know about you you can't get. it from that distance dog says who. since the fouchy brah you know how crazy. it is how annoying you and kalila were. during the the whole pandemic you guys. were so [ __ ] annoying yeah about. [ __ ] everything yeah yeah yeah and. then now it's like yeah go do the. podcast when you got kovitz it's insane.

bro i was working brah what is this. [ __ ] accent that you've got sorry. i'm back all right there we go i have. covered man. tell everybody tell everybody what's. going on are we rolling yet or no. he was rolling man and we're gonna keep. all that in dude. dude i'm super sick right now man. i'm not myself how stupid is this so. we're doing this episode while you're. like this but we waited all week. dude i got. first of all number one do. dude let me talk to you bro yeah i'm. listening i'm right here. shaka. oh are you shaka guy now because you.

bought a house in hawaii. shuck i did does everybody know this. have we talked about this that you guys. bought aloha aloha how big is the house. it's a condo dog. wakaliki what the [ __ ] is this thing. that you're doing right i'm sorry man be. you i'm sorry he was listening to tupac. and eminem oh this is when you do your. rap days. this is when you do your rights i get. influenced by the music i listen to him. on all right we'll get okay get it out. of your system all right no get out of. your system be the rap guy that you want. to be what's up what's up what's up.

uh. i'm god i'm good. that's it that's enough so you're not. gonna be able to do it then no i thought. for sure you would no so what happened. was i was doing um tiger belly last week. or whatever and gilbert he comes in. right he's like. he gives everyone coven me and kalyla. and dude i was so sick man. monday tuesday wednesday i just don't. even remember it i was a [ __ ] blur. bro did you take monoclonal antibodies.

well trump took it. you know you told me he caught bobby. called me for the fans at home. bobby called me and said. i want to do the thing that trump did. oh oh bob you just kicked that camera. hold on. oopsie. oopsie daisy. i'm sorry dude i haven't left the house. in a week no i know but yeah i know and.

i'm sick so it's like. i'm just happy that you're sick and. we're together yeah i don't even i think. this is a great idea take your mask off. absolutely [ __ ] not [ __ ] you. what is your aggro [ __ ] attitude. right now dude because you got kovid and. you're dancing around. thinking who cares i know you're still. going out and [ __ ] around with covet. aren't you no no i i can't let tonight. we were supposed to do. the goddamn comedy jam i have to go. right did we not i had to cancel that i. cancelled all week i also had a show at.

the improv tonight had to cancel that. yeah right i canceled all week bro. so no i haven't been going out have i. been going out no yeah. like i [ __ ] believe her this is the. [ __ ] first time yo dog. hill [ __ ]. how come you're just getting into. hip-hop now so you're so late. it's so late and you're getting into. hip-hop that's do you know any do you. like you know tyler the creator just won. another grammy for album of the year. have you heard that album no what's it. called i don't know i just said no man. you heard it.

who are you talking to. are you talking to who are you talking. about who you talking about i don't like. when you challenged me man. you're not a good friend dude i'll tell. you why. i'll tell you why because you got you. were so free free fiddly diddly you were. so fruitily diddly when the pandemic. goes up no i wasn't yeah you're golfing. you're hanging out with your [ __ ]. wife. golfing you can be outside you could you. could golf you're hanging out with your. white friend doing fantasy football. [ __ ] at bars i wasn't i don't do. fantasy whatever watching the game. whatever that game is outside we watch.

it outside whatever you got it right dog. yeah and you know what i didn't subject. you i didn't do i didn't subject you to. it. dude it's we have to put on a [ __ ]. podcast this is our business. right so i'm going and and we have to. get it done by tonight we're doing it so. how the [ __ ] are we going to do it fancy. fancy i didn't want to do it i'm [ __ ]. sick i know but you're you're doing a. great job oh god did you get a fever. yeah man i got the whole thing dude i. got night shivers i started sweating oh.

my god i had [ __ ] dreams about um do. you have fever dreams. yeah i had a dream about brad pitt. and he was just like i'm a big fan of. your comedy and i gave him a hug and i. just started following around this. [ __ ] um party and stuff and then i. ran into dove david off i knew it was. him because he has crossed eyes. he does and i saw him from apart i go. that's why guy looks like a [ __ ] you. know those pinheads yeah from the. [ __ ] circus back in the day yeah. that's what dove david all looks like to. me and i what's up and he said what's up.

and then um. that's it that was a dream. i'm gonna take my jacket off are you on. steroids you're so [ __ ] antsy it's. crazy. no i haven't been what the [ __ ] man. let's be real dude what's going on. i'm just so upset that you have coveted. i know i know what is going on you you i. feel like. you're criticizing every thing i'm. saying every move i'm making. every move you make.

every step you take. everything. day. every time i pray. probably i am gay. i'm gay okay i wanted to come out and. tell you i'm not you're gay you're gay. rudy how's the house been with with all. these coven patients dude don't do that. what's up why are you coughing how just. cough into your shirt if you're gonna. cough. this is such a bad idea to do this. episode no it's not it's going great. he's coughing out loud.

it's going great who's mike is that. doc's that'll be good yeah yeah oh man. bob you all got me sick again. yeah when he comes back he's gonna be. sick how's it been at the covered ward. house when i found out about it i was. kind of happy that they got it yes. because i was a little happy too because. it's what you'd get for talking [ __ ] to. everyone else right yeah isn't that nice. air high five. but bobby has been really dramatic oh no. [ __ ] in what way you [ __ ] ungrateful. [ __ ] don't don't we're not doing that.

today you ungrateful [ __ ] in what way. come on. i just have to do everything because he. keeps ex um making excuses that he's so. sick he can't move he can't do anything. i have to do all of it that's right so. listen yeah. i want to tell you. how happy i am that you've graduated to. like a car guy now. do you want to tell everybody what you. did this week and what i helped you do. come. on so here's the deal i.

have never had a nice car ever correct. right i've always had priuses ask anyone. at the comedy store. parking lot guys. for the last 30 years i've just the hood. is off the window's broken they're. always worth about five grand 10 grand. max max right. and um. i liked it i smoked in it i [ __ ] in my. car like literally [ __ ] yeah right i pee. i put burritos all over the place. pepperonis. all kinds of stuff and um i always just.

used. a card just to transport me from one. place to another you know how cars do. sure they transport you yeah the minimal. the minimal you just want here to hear. it doesn't everything else doesn't. matter but i quit smoking. and i look at your fancy cars. and i went man. i should give myself you know a nice. thing so i bought it i bought a an audi. sports back a5 standard.

um but i matted it we got it mad black. man and i tinted the windows it looks. pretty dope it looks real nice so sexy. and now do you feel a little bit more. special do i look like when i was. driving today. pretty [ __ ] special yeah a lot of. people were looking at the car they look. at it yeah well she got confident and i. stood outside my car and leaned against. it like. oh wow james dean does and i crossed my. legs like this so you lean and cross.

your legs and i pretended i had a. cigarette i was gonna say dude can we. get you candy cigarettes maybe yeah yeah. and i was and and this kid from t-mobile. came up and he goes that's still around. huh. i don't know what even what t-mobile is. is that so it's like pep boys do they. say cell phones oh it is oh i have no. idea the only person that we know that. has it is eric griffin yeah please be. real yeah that's just cause cricket went. out of business. um. shut up tito yeah so um.

then i asked you who. you know. that could matt it and you said um i. said this guy i got the guy and he's. amazing he's incredible he really is. amazing his place the place looks really. nice i mean if you look around there's. like. old like rolls-royces he's fixing up and. porsches so that's that that i got him. from tommy segura segura gave me his. information because he's done all his. cars for him oh wow and he was like. anything you need this guy can do. literally anything yeah yeah he's hand.

rebuilt cars they'll rebuild them from. nothing yeah he's my guy for life isn't. that wild to think that so we have no. skill like that we have zero skills. outside of being funny. you i have more skills. outside of being free name any [ __ ]. skill you have outside of funny go i can. tell you the difference between good. sunflower seeds and bad sunflower seeds. i'll tell you how do you know what's the. giveaway it's the christmas of the shell. right. what the nut tastes like yeah i mean. sometimes the nut is chewy that's not. good it's stale you like you like you.

like hard nuts i love i've had if you're. going to be human in my mouth so i know. nuts. more than you do what does a ball taste. like if you put a man's testicle in your. mouth. it's like a dried squid. oh okay yeah they take a dried squid dip. it in water you're right kind of like. that texture. don't look at her you better not know. what balls in your mouth you know what. happened to her she was on a date. when. last week just let me finish. she went on a date i'm not gonna say his.

name he's cute. none of the guys that she hangs out with. that she dates right what does that mean. why do you why'd you do this. because dating to me implies that he's. trying to woo her and court her and and. go to movies and dinners there's a. couple of dudes she. dates that's not that and what does that. mean rudy explain it. that. we just. [ __ ]. i don't like it i don't like it either.

it's so disgusting as your tito okay as. your as. papa santino i just. we're not going to talk about anymore. just tell me. you're being safe yes okay that's all i. want to know you never raw dog no. okay i try to say it's so nice. i was like are you being responsible. he's like do you ever get [ __ ]. smashed out raw dick okay you get raw. dick down so sh but none of these guys. knows who she lives with what she does.

in the event some of them have to know. no they don't you're saying not one guy. you've been on a date with knows that. you're on the show no but so this is the. [ __ ] how do you meet them. online there's no [ __ ] way they don't. look at your instagram. i have another instagram so she she has. two right her regular one which is no. followers and a bad friend the bad. friend really has a hundred thousand but. she doesn't tell people about that she's. ashamed of it are you really ashamed of. the show. i just don't want them to know because. i don't want i don't know i thought you.

were like proud of this thing that we. built i am. i just don't want them to know. immediately so anyway. that's shame she's ashamed of mom and. dad she is. all right go ahead so anyway what so. this kid doesn't know i have any so. they're at in-n-out right. chick-fil-a chick-fil-a and um sorry so. good so good what sauces do you get. let me guess polynesian. you get the chick-fil-a sauce yeah uh. that's it.

that's it yeah [ __ ] snooze fest so. they're actually. so a guy that worked there. went ape [ __ ] when he saw her. rudy. right. can i take a photo please look at it. right and then so she takes a photo with. him right yeah and this kid who has no. idea is like are you famous. oh no yeah what do you say to that. i just said kinda. but then that's true you are kind of.

famous kinda yeah a hundred thousand. followers is a [ __ ] a lot a lot yeah. but yeah he just he he got really. shocked. oh yeah but did she but now she has the. power oh yeah right right now it's like. chick-fil-a no take me to the [ __ ]. maestros yeah master. say. i don't think he has. a lot of not your [ __ ] problem yeah. you're famous now say put it on the card. [ __ ] put it on a credit card. when he says when he says listen i only. have you know 45 dollars to spend on. dinner you're like not my problem.

get the credit card out yeah and let's. go to [ __ ] mastros does he pay for. the chick-fil-a no we have. [ __ ] that oh my god you can't even play. the full chick-fil-a i i want to pay her. no you don't no you don't no you don't. no yeah first of all. no no you don't i want to say this too. yeah i keep telling you haven't i told. you this right. you have a power. yeah all right. and guy i remember being 19 20 years old. right yeah and just like whatever a girl.

wanted. you know run 30 miles that way peace. pick up a piece of rock and bring it. back you got it i got it how big is the. rock yeah yeah it could be a boulder oh. i'll die i'll bring it i'll die i'll. break my back yeah yeah they'll find my. skeletal body with a boulder on top of. my body but also this guy is paying only. paying half but if you start boinking. this guy he then has to pay for sure. yeah that's the definite rule one from. now on yeah right okay and when you guys. watch movies together at the theater. does he go half half. he paid he pays for the movies what does.

he do what does he can we not say what. he does no he's he's in college oh she. has so he doesn't have any money they're. in class together yeah would you ever. pay for the whole bill would you ever go. let me get this. um maybe if i invited him to a date not. him. right but have you ever invited a guy on. it have you ever asked a guy on a date. no no so it's never gonna happen no. this is the thing though from now on you. have to know as a woman. you you it's very noble of you to pay. half. you don't have to but i feel guilty.

though why for what. i don't know because it should be okay. there's men's cologne. the reason why there's fancy cars the. reason why there's like nice jeans guys. don't want to do any of it here it is. the reason why there's anything. yeah is because of a vagina a vagina. that's yeah that's only buildings that's. why there's anything yeah yeah a. skyscraper vagina this desk yes. corporations this guy that built this. for us yeah yeah he started building. stuff to get vagina yeah yeah vagina is. the everything it's better than crack.

it's everything heroin everything. opiates all together everything it's. better vaginas like all the your worst. and favorite things rolled into one it's. like vagina is like. it's like riding tatsu. when you're. when you're feeling just the most elated. and free and in love. when you can't get vagina you start. shooting things yeah you have to god is. vagina god is vagina when they say jesus. and the lord in the bible. they're talking about vagina they are. yeah god is vagina jesus is the [ __ ].

yes the holy ghost is the butthole. right so you have the power look i think. it's noble of you to pay i agree. but if you don't want to. here's my thing if you're hooking up. with a guy he has to pay. okay yeah if if a girl is willing to put. a penis in her mouth the guy should pay. i think that's the rule. yeah yeah like because who wants a penis. in their mouth that it's so weird and. gross also i've never had honestly be.

honest with me go for it. before you you were married. when you were single ender which is a. scary thought. very scary thought okay like a [ __ ]. wild animal on the [ __ ]. in its land. hunting down prey. okay anyway that's who you are you're a. [ __ ] hellfire. i'm the gazette. i'm the gazelle broken leg i'm the. predator yeah you're the prey i am a pro. and sometimes the prey gets a little bit. of scraps thank you.

that's definitely me yeah but right i. have never. gone half this with a woman. um on a date i've always paid never once. never once. although i will say. i almost made a girl pay me too i i have. a claws dude go ahead i was here here's. i was so i went on a blind date i think. i literally talked about this the other. day. i i went on a blind date i took a bus. from culver city to west hollywood i. didn't know west hollywood i knew it was. a gay neighborhood but i didn't know no.

yeah i was new to hollywood and this. girl was like a hook up a blind date. through a friend and she suggested one. of those places on santa monica like uh. you know the rusty manhole or um. oh god what was it what's it called. trunks or one of those but this was the. mexican one it was the mexican themed. gay bar. [Music]. right and i didn't know what's it called. fancy's gotta know what's it called. what's the mexican gay bar black bean. the black bean.

and i got and i gotta tell you. i went there i'm super comfortable and. open with my sexuality i don't give a. [ __ ] about any of that [ __ ] but in the. middle of the date she's getting wasted. dude it's like 2 p.m right and the guy. comes over he's like somebody's ready to. party and she's like more drinks and. he's like okay next round's on me but. you guys got to do body shots. and i was like no i'm okay i didn't want. to drink anyway right and she's hot she. was very good-looking yeah yeah and she. kept being like come on do it don't be.

so annoying that didn't turn you on to. do body shots off of a guy oh off a guy. he the server was saying i'll buy the. round you have to suck it off my [ __ ]. chest oh i thought shoot you i thought. it was oh it was. my bad i thought the liquor was gonna be. on her that would have been fine all. right no i didn't know i didn't know i. didn't no i he this guy was like i'll. take care of the round you got a body. shot and of course she did one. she's already blacked out it's 2 30 in. the [ __ ] afternoon i should have. known this girl was a [ __ ] psycho and. she sucks liquor off this guy of this. beautiful black man's abs you know the.

liquor got in the crevasse of his abs at. like in it like like a little like the. la river like you know when it gets a. little bit of water yeah yeah and it. like made its way down to the channel. and she's. slurping all of it oh my gosh she's like. now you don't be [ __ ] annoying yeah. and and i. and i did. and i did and i did a body shot off this. guy yeah were you laughing you must have. been laughing. did it feel good. for me or him for you. you're this you're just you're just.

sucking off of a guy he has abs it was. on his abs and his belly button i licked. his belly button too yeah. and then she. made nothing of it so i went to great. lengths and she was like and i was like. cool. i better get some [ __ ] head i just. sucked that black guy's beautiful. [ __ ] abs yeah and and she was like. she [ __ ] me off she was like not. paying attention didn't give a [ __ ] i. thought if i do this i'm in with this. girl she didn't care and then she was. like what are you doing tonight and i. was like i don't know what are you doing.

she's like i have plans maybe we can. meet up later and i was like this is. she's [ __ ] me off she's used me to. get drunk and get lunch. so in my mind i thought should i ask her. to pay half i knew it wasn't going to go. anywhere and i still paid for her i have. a question for you yeah. i remember her name was margot robbie. i don't know what she's up to but i. think she's. if there was a male comic that you had. to suck a liquor off their body. which one would it be. jamar neighbors.

probably the most sexy in shape black. dude yeah yeah probably two more. neighborhoods i mean like not eric. griffin. how could it stay on uh what where he's. got. pockets oh oh right it'd be like a. [ __ ]. a river a lake oh it would be like a. little pot like a little lake and you. have a bunch of big lakes oh you're. right fat pockets of lakes. but no who would you suck it off who. would you do about a dozen like probably. because you think he's sexy no does he. know you have a little bit of a physical. crush on him i don't have a physical. crush on him you've told me before that.

you think he's hot you've said this off. camera like i think i've told him that. all right so you do have kind of a crush. on him like a man crush yeah like you do. find him attractive and if let's say no. one's in the main room the door closes. and he's like. i'm thinking about having you suck me. bobby what are you gonna do. no he's stronger than you bud. he's no but he's he's got like no upper. body strength that's not true he you're. totally wrong no he doesn't he's like. ken jong like i'll break every from the. waist up. he'll break every bone in his body do.

you think we can set up a match between. you and kenjung to box or wrestle or. something i would [ __ ] destroy him. well let's [ __ ] do it then he won't. do it why not. that's just not his brand what's your. what's what's his brand what's your. brand my brand is anything goes what's. her brand anything goes what's my brand. anything goes what's fancy's brand. kenjung kenja. hey man did you forget that one thing in. the store now you can get snacks and.

drinks household essentials in 30. minutes with doordash doordash is my. favorite delivery service because they. have the best options i think i feel. like they're quicker well let's be. honest it's the only one that we use all. right so what i know well yeah i don't. know anything yeah yeah uh did you. forget one thing at the store yeah yeah. you just talked about it right i did but. dinner check yeah deodorant check. morning pick me up from donkey end check. get everything you need whenever you. need it with doordash doordash. connection with the restaurants you love. right now and right to your door right. now you can get the grocery essentials. you need with doordash get drink snacks.

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on their first order 15 or more download. the doordash app and enter the code bad. friends 2022. that's right 25 off. up to 10 value and zero delivery fees on. your first order when you download the. door dash app in the app store and enter. code. bad friends 2022. don't forget that's. code bad friends 2022 for 25 off your. first order with doordash subjects to. change terms apply. headspace. bro yeah. i have a very difficult time relaxing. man well i have so much anxiety and. stress and you know that's overwhelming. and the fatigue that comes along with it.

it's eroding my mental health yeah yeah. but headspace what it does for me is. it's like i like listening to relaxing. you know i mean their meditation music. i also like their um soundscapes and. stuff like rain falling and stuff i love. yeah i like the interface of their app. right the app is easy to use yes and. it's by the way headspace is. scientifically proven to help you manage. your feelings and your mental health in. fact. a study that they had recently it proved. that in two weeks headspace can reduce. your stress by up to 14. that's pretty impressive because i got a. lot of stress and by the way.

i've been pooping as much i'm gonna be. real with you i love it from all my. stress and head space stuff headspace is. the way to get a clearer mind whether. you want andrew to relieve stress. anxiety sleep better or improve your. focus headspace is your everyday dose of. mindfulness for real life. you can do uh you can go check out their. mini meditations they got trials they. have all sorts of stuff on their app to. try to get you in a better hey headspace. you like that i love it however you're. feeling uh you can try headspace at. headspace.com bad friends and get one.

month for free of their entire. mindfulness library some of it that. bobby talked about before this is the. best headspace offer available so go to. headspace.com. bad friends today that's right that's. headspace.com. bad friends. your. skin is frail. i have shitty skin yeah when we saw you. at magic mountain we were so concerned. for you and your sister we put on. sunscreen three times we thought you. guys just burst into [ __ ] [ __ ] i put. on you do you don't you know i put it on.

oh my god there's ghost rider i mean. that's literally how i thought you were. you're gonna burst into flames i put on. sunscreen multiple times i was very it. is really different. it is different. it's weird. it's weak right yeah yeah. what do you mean what's weak about my. skin it just looks like not. suitable skin for outside. temperatures. don't talk about my [ __ ] skin pal. yeah what about my skin yours is. honestly yeah it's so multi-colored too. it's the best because there's parts that. are red there's parts that are yellow.

there's parts that are white yeah let me. see your palms. what's the palm. inside of your hand. see that looks like a white guy's hand. thank you. that's why i purposely did that. you made someone wave right. and they don't see my face and they wave. they hear them. i have our next adventure by the way i. know we did six flights already we're. going we're going to a nascar. so check this out i got i got an email. from a buddy who is like. we've got the hookup vip for you guys i. already did that though. not with her what's that nascar do you.

know what that is oh my god so it's that. guy bush what's his name kyle bush. his last name is bush yeah kyle bush he. put me in a car once did you drive it he. no i did went to a nascar racing event. and before his run. i did a run with him wait cut that i. think it's kyle busch right it's one of. the bushes kyle busch yeah he's an. american professional so what they do is. what uh a nascar is well it's just a car. but they go around in a big circle super. super [ __ ] fast. but all the party happens on the infield.

that's where you have drinks and food. and. let's do it because i can get they. literally were like they want to give us. free tickets and all that stuff let's go. you down do you like fast cars not trump. supporters huh a lot of trump supporters. you mean righteous americans. let's just let that sit i just want that. to sit i bought a house in mar-a-lago by. the way did you really yeah. no. did you see that clip of trump by the. way was so funny there are these guys. called gays for trump there's an. organization called gays for trump.

and they go mr trump over here he's at. mar-a-lago he's like doing a speech and. they're like we're it's gays for trump. and he goes where who. where and then he points and when the. guy goes right over here and he goes you. you don't look gay no and the guy goes. we are and he goes yeah well i'll take. it. it was awesome oh my god the gay's for. trump baby. yeah that i i know one but let me tell. you something yeah we're going to go to. a nascar you're going to really enjoy it. is it scary. no you don't do.

you don't have to drive but you said. it's so fast yeah but you're nowhere. near the cars they just go in a big. oh you're not getting in the car. we can get you in one of the cars. no that's fine in fact you know what we. should take her to a place where she can. get into a car yeah i want to do one of. those like a bumper ride kind of a thing. no no no no no you know where we should. go what down to porsche has a track and. you can you can actually like drive in a. porsche with a professional driver would. you do that. around a track would you do that bob.

yeah i've done stuff like that yeah but. this is like not just a circle this is. going to be like i'm just saying i've. done stuff like it all right you're the. hate when you do that you're the best. you've done it all no i've done a lot of. sky dive. skydove or david david skydiving yeah. should we go bad for that. no no no no no no no. why why are you still shaking your. [ __ ] head. why wouldn't we go skydiving what's. wrong with that it's too scary that's. too much the chance is a sky what are. the chances of dying skydiving. yeah yeah yeah give me the odds let's.

see i play by the odds what are the odds. of dying while skydiving. let's see this. according to most recent data gathered. by the united states parachute. association there's some bias. of the 3.3 million skydives that are. completed there are 15 skydiving. fatalities based on this data that is. point zero zero zero four five percent. chance of dying on a skydive the. statistics for dying on a tandem skydive. or even less so if you go with their. five point zero zero four five percent.

okay what are the chances of dying just. regular just living your life. [Laughter]. can i tell you yeah a hundred. you have a hundred percent chance of. dying. oh interesting yeah you're going to die. a hundred percent there's like right now. what. what are the chances bobby lee dies. right now. according to the census of asian. american.

comedians. so the aac. no bobby lee has a point. 0.025 percent chance of dying so that's. a two and a half percent chance or no. all right so let's skydive so it's worth. it let's do it all right let's go you're. going you're going to go. but you go tandem you go with a coach. you go with a guy like a trained. professional yeah yeah okay yeah yeah. you're not scared. i i mean it would be so scary but i'll. do it have fun it'll be fun fancy you. got to do it.

you got to do it fancy i'm serious. i have to catch the you guys landing. oh he wants to oh he has to film it no. no he needs to be part of it you need to. be part of it because pete can film. because pete camp probably can't go yeah. yeah he's too big. he'll fall right to the plane's like. this. yeah we'll go in a circle. uh listen. we take. um but. but before we do that. right we have to do superman's revenge. no yeah we got to go back yeah yeah we.

got to do superman's revenge and then. we'll do skydiving and i think this year. we really should amp it up and go to. like not scary farms when we get to. halloween. i think we should go i think we should. go to knott's berry farm do you don't. you know what that is yeah but i've. never been there i think we need to go. do they have rides there yes but scary. ones. i don't know i don't know i mean not. like six flags i don't think yeah but. who goes there little kids and families. and us oh really well we're family. that's true is this not our family.

that's true don't you feel like as we've. grown this is more. like when i called you the other day and. to check in on you like i did every. [ __ ] day tell the audience that i. really have been a good friend and. checking on you every day yeah you're. not been the best guy to check in but. who's checked in who's checked in of. your friends who's checked in on you. dominic monahan. dominic monaghan the actor yeah how many. times did he call you every day did he. say he was gonna bring you stuff yeah. did he bring you stuff no no did you i.

asked you would you like anything you. said no he offered legos. i offered food i said bobby can i bring. you anything yeah and i said i'll be. i'll go get you. i said i'll get you steak from [ __ ]. mastros i'll get i'll get you whatever. you want can i get you anything and you. said no don't yeah but for a hobbit that. i barely know. to do it. i mean he has to travel from middle. earth. i don't know where he lives with pippin. but. well he's got to get on one of those big. uh what are those things that they ride. too those elephants yeah.

elephants can he just does he call it. and it comes running yeah yeah it can't. is it on standby i don't i don't know. but uh oh you know you know how he. travels how. those large eagles. yeah i mean what those large eagles. remember remember when yes remember when. you don't mean frodo and samwise gamgee. that you thought they were gonna die. but then gandalf i don't know the wizard. though who swooped in. because what happens is gandalf has to. take a moth yeah and whisper.

right who i like and then the moth has. to fly out. you've never seen those you have to. watch those movies lord of the rings. yeah. well we haven't talked about the slap. have we. no but we've talked about it it's been. ad nauseam i talked about it so much. already it's like. it it you know what i think will smith. was in the right. [Laughter]. after a week that's the conclusion yeah. cause i'm so tired of it now i'm like. yeah no it was yeah well it's just. because i you know just real quick. comment on it is that yeah you know. there's a guy james o'brien who has a.

radio show in england. it's a call-in show and a lot of people. from england that called in especially. we're on will smith's side no way yeah. saying what citing what. there's literally we know you know. it was guys calling is that my wife has. the same disease so right it's not a. disease by the way. alopecia yeah it's like a condition a. condition has the same condition you. don't die nobody dies i understand that. but women right care so much about. you know i mean how they look and their.

hair and it becomes a very. self-conscious thing right okay they. look in the mirror and they you know. think when clumps of hair are coming out. of your head. imagine i mean i can i can only imagine. kalila my girlfriend. walking in the bathroom and her holding. a chunk of hair. and crying and going oh my god it looks. so ugly or whatever people go through. but you still wouldn't use violence if. somebody made a joke about it because i. physically can't no because it because. you know better that's a psychotic move. what he did that's crazy person [ __ ]. that's scientology being like you are.

king richard become king richard he's a. [ __ ] psychopath and during his. [ __ ] acceptance speech the nut bag. was like love makes you do crazy things. like no it doesn't yeah you [ __ ]. nightmare of a human being i'm not. agreeing with it i'm just saying what. people's point of view is but people are. dumb i don't listen to people because. they don't know what the [ __ ] most. people are [ __ ] it was assault yeah. straight. and also you can't just smack a dude. you're a performer yeah will you should. just that's like the biggest no-no. when somebody's performing yeah.

especially when you're a performer. to bombard a stage like that it's just. so [ __ ] if will yelled out from his. seat. shut the [ __ ] up and got serious i would. still have respected that because he i. was like oh man he's got something going. on he was upset about the joke and the. joke wasn't good and nice and blah blah. i would have got people would have. gotten over it but the fact that he. walked up there and physically did. something you're like. just yelling your seat go shut the [ __ ]. up. shut the [ __ ] up or afterwards grab his.

arm because you know him and go can i. talk to you talk to him backstage and go. don't ever do that [ __ ] ever again and. guy i need to tell you or that message. would have been stronger because now. rock is on tour and i bet he's lighting. his ass up he is yeah well that's what. he's going to get now and now now will. has to [ __ ] disappear or he walks up. on stage. spaceship or whatever the [ __ ] he grabs. a mic. and he. he does a joke back or he he starts. around parents just don't understand he. starts doing no or he just he basically.

says listen. you know i mean my wife has alopecia and. she's very self-conscious about it and i. just think that that was. you know not cool and just walk off. stage yeah and that would have been even. not more awkward there okay. there's no way to do it yeah he should. have broke out into a song from wild. wild west and that would have been i. think everybody everybody would have. forgiven him somebody said to me the. other day though and fancy will probably. go in and out on this. someone goes. will smith is the most respected. like. actor who's transcended race and class.

and like dude everybody loves him of. every color ever everywhere everywhere. you come from yeah. but he's not that good of an actor and i. was like. well and i literally couldn't think of. one movie where i was like wow he was so. good and that movie was so good he was. good in conclusion. you didn't even see it. you didn't even see it that's how i know. you're a [ __ ] liar you didn't even. see it an award nobody saw it he. wouldn't ask nobody saw it. that they showed. where he was like you know oh he was. crying yeah yeah that's a good scene who.

the [ __ ] cares name one movie he made. that you go he was a great actor and the. movie was great oh um. 60 degrees of separation not a real. thing. seven degrees what's the movie called. six degrees of separation six degrees of. separation did you see it though yeah. what is it about. well it was 20 years ago i forgot okay. so he's been he was i remember watching. it going. because i remember him go being in fresh. prince and him transitioning into movies. yeah this is not gonna work right but.

what it's like you know um. what's his name in the lighthouse um. batman yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah one of. those movies where you go oh this kid. got skills okay so my point is fancy can. attest to this. he's never made a movie where he was a. great actor and it was great i just said. there was one but anyway. he was pretty good happiness was fine. the movie was fine yeah bad boys but. okay but these are actually are you. better than him as an actor yeah you. better believe it. you better believe it you better believe.

it you better believe it because i. believe it. but you're not. no he's awesome yeah i think he's. incredible i loved wilson yeah i've. always loved him yeah bad boys was. amazing i think men in black was. incredible i'm just saying. he was never it was he was never a great. actor he's just a lovable awesome dude. yeah he was a great actor and what. you named a movie 20 [ __ ] years ago. he was very charismatic he was like a. tom cruise type correct charismatic tom. cruise actually is a great actor i'm. sorry but he is yeah but he he wanted to.

get his roles you can't because tom. cruise is a better actor but here's my. argument though dude and little white. guy huge buff black guy big difference i. hate it when people go. kyoto reeves isn't a good actor he's a. great actor. okay he is he's a he is awesome to watch. he's amazing he i believe him. in every movie yeah right because he's. playing no it doesn't matter right it's. like pointing i know what it's like i. know what it's like what's the through. line of point break of bill and ted.

[Laughter]. john wick what's the through line. he was good in glass house. with sandra bullock sure okay sure movie. tank but yeah he was another movie it. was a simple plan or one of those kind. of movies. was that that yeah where you played a. really bad guy yep yeah he was amazing. in that he's a great actor yeah. right that anyone right that can hold an. audience right. that can lead a movie and have. years of of of a career.

i mean keanu will are both examples of. that right they're great actors great. leading men and i believe everything. they do and i and i will always maybe. not will now but i will always buy a. ticket to watch keanu reeves yeah me too. but he's amazing but i love him great. actor and i'll still support will smith. by the way i don't give a [ __ ] dude. you know i'm down for five yeah you know. i'm right and just tell me i won that. argument he's not a good actor and fancy. kind of tested he's not. you know you really [ __ ] are going to. offend me because i have covet and i.

know what you're trying to do what am i. trying to do you're trying to provoke my. [ __ ] cop i want to get your heart. beat up so you get a heart attack right. i'm going to cough in your face. imagine how hard i'll punch you if you. do imagine think about it right now. i'll punch you so [ __ ] hard the mat. will come off your car. the matte finish it'll be it'll be. [ __ ] all right let's not do that. i like that. oh anyway who's your favorite actor rudy. jules. i i'm not good with movies don't ask me. that i said your favorite actor just a.

person that you like it's funny because. the other day we watched she'd never. seen truman show oh my god so like 45. minutes into the thing i go you know. what's about she goes i don't know. what's going on. i was confused did you figure it out at. some point i had to tell her. no i i said that i had to tell you i had. to [ __ ] tell you no did you know. what's going on i don't know what's. going on i said oh he's in the show and. then after like 10 minutes you said yes. it's in the show. no but i know but you didn't know you go. who is he.

what's going on yeah i do you knew that. it was a show but you didn't know that. he didn't know that he was on a show. yeah i didn't know he was born and it. didn't know what's happening ed harris. by the way. dude ed harris is so good in that movie. it's it's like annoying where you're. like this guy is so believable as this. sociopath who's puppeteering human. beings yeah but you you still like him. yeah how crazy how crazy that he's love. okay now there's a great actor that's a. good actor ed harris is a [ __ ]. superstar actor i can't watch him why.

because he's pale because of two moments. oh no what are they. number one moment right. if you watch he did a movie called. history of violence love okay. if you watch the press conference. of history of violence. he does a panel with of the other actors. he does something where they had to shut. everything down and they had to end the. [ __ ] press a conference well here at. this panel sitting next to me he seems. fine sir yeah and director.

mr ed harris. love that dude yeah. and. he wanted to add honey watch not. particularly. [Laughter]. oh yeah you did do one i like that. that. no because. what is that. what is that you know. what is that what is it what is it. what is violence what is it. you know that's what the movie's about.

absolutely love that. he he's making an example of what. violence is he shocked the room that's. what the movie was about. i absolutely love that clip. i see nothing wrong with that guy. did you see anything wrong with that. rudy yeah that was scary. that was [ __ ] scary the guy said the. movie is called the history of violence. yeah he just showed what violence can do. yeah but the problem he didn't do it to. anybody else will smith he didn't smack.

anybody that is that the lesson that's. the lesson if you want to be a crazy. actor yeah display it yeah don't hurt. other people yeah. on it you know joe told me right about. on it and i've been taking it and i. think it's right is it working i think. it's working it's clearing out your. brain you know those times when you're. so into what you're doing you can't. think about anything else if you have. some if you have a mind that that kind. of gets clogged and misdirected all the. time uh psychologists have called that. feeling of being in the zone of a flow. state when you're feeling uh the most. productive and alpha brain from on it is.

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you take this little survey was going to. help them pick the right box of awesome. for you and they release new boxes every. month it's actually very very cool i've. gotten the outdoor uh box that i got. last time included like a travel bag a. knife which i'm a big knife guy i love. love knives and also i got like the. carnivore one well you like the carnival. one because you're a little meaty boy. the american barbecue rub and the. carnivore box is made by the great. american spice company in rockford. michigan and i love rockford you know. that shout out midwest baby yeah uh this. this is cool the box of awesome is. incredible and uh i'm telling you you're. helping a small upcoming brand free to.

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yeah who would you say metal strip meryl. streep we just haven't seen the truth. yet we haven't seen the truth we haven't. seen the will smith moment because they. all have it yeah but he but his snap. merrill has done all the right things. for so long i cannot wait. until somebody says the wrong thing and. she whips out a tit. and squirts milk. this is milk all right. all over a [ __ ] reporter's face what. is that yeah that's me. yeah it's mel yeah yeah but did you see.

the [ __ ] pre he goes okay that's the. end of the press conference maybe he. wanted to go home maybe ed was like if i. [ __ ] freak out i can get back to the. hotel faster yeah but his energy before. that i just that's what my dad used to. do it's like smiling yeah everything. everything's fine right. hey bobby how are you i love it. like that kind of switch yeah i don't. like it i know yeah every greta every. every great actor does it but it not. well i don't want to watch it now but um. anyone listening watched the rock.

bloopers he does even more uncomfortable. [ __ ] and as a director i would just be. like okay um we're gonna call it a day. i i would i would have just called it a. day i mean you can't wrap the day yeah. it's the same thing that christian bale. did when he went on that rant yeah but. that but but i got to tell you something. yeah. what is that sound guy doing walking. around. yeah yeah fancy takes the side of. christian bale don't you it is. distracted it's remarkably distracting. when you're trying to get deep in.

character and you know what yeah what. the public doesn't know that we that we. heard afterwards was they already had. had an interaction where christian had. asked him politely please don't move. across the shot. right two times two times i see okay man. right now you know it's deliberate yeah. because you've been on set you've been. on set you know it's a difficult job. it's all. everyone's trying their best you know. what sucks though i was on magnum once. not the same kind of thing but same same. sound caliber same caliber. anyway magnum piano i was on magnum once.

and i remember people talking during one. of my close-ups it's hard and i just i i. wanted to do a christian bail. right but i'm like i i'll get fired. there's no i don't have the power yeah. or the providence to do it so i just. went i'll just do it again guys. yeah i mean but it's like it is rude it. is rude i hate it speaking of which. we've just lost um oh no. we just lost uh a great man who in. acting in the world of acting who well. he's not dead but we've lost him as an.

actor bruce willis man i know aphasia do. you know what aphasia is no aphasia's um. i think it's the the definition is to be. looked up because i'm not i'm stupid but. you basically your communication skills. go out the window so you you can think. stuff but not say it um bruce. who's bruce willis all right let's wrap. this up let's get the [ __ ] let's get the. [ __ ] out of here. i just. that was the craziest thing i've ever. heard who's bruce willis. bruce willis that's him do you have you.

seen him before i think. he was in fast. do you think he was in fast in the. future. not. diesel you think it's in diesel no no. not here yeah do you think do you think. that's ludicrous. yeah yeah who do you think that is who. do you think that is i don't know. but i think he's in fast and furious was. he ever in a fast and funeral movie he. was he was. uh alright you know bruce willis.

congratulations how can we not know that. i've never seen him yeah i mean i don't. watch all the [ __ ] festive furious i. would i know yeah yeah he's got a. condition where he. he starts to be able to not aphasia i. think it's called aphsia maybe. um i heard there was problems already on. set or whatever where he was like. okay so i i mean. i told it. what. a guy that i. i'm new a guy that i don't know that. well that works in our business. and who knows if this uh story is real.

he says. years ago. him and sam jackson were in morocco. uh at a at a like a a release party for. something yeah and they were at this. nightclub. and he's sitting at a booth. and the base is bumping so hard and. they're so it's so filled with people. and everyone's rummaging about. a thing fell off the wall and hit him in. the [ __ ] head sam jackson no bruce. bruce willis yeah and he had to be. rushed to a hospital for. to because his head.

sliced open his [ __ ] head. and he says. that. with all of these stunts that he did. amongst bashing up his body in his head. is where. maybe some of this could come from i. don't know if any of that's true yeah. but they do say it does can come from. head trauma. really that's a part of it it says it's. either from head trauma it's hereditary. head trauma or there was another thing. that could have led to it he also looks. like he [ __ ] like die hard but he [ __ ]. hard so you think if he if he [ __ ] so.

hard his head is yeah yeah he's like. banging his head because you know they. say your head moves around in your skull. like your brain like a football player. their brain moves yeah so if he's. [ __ ] hard enough his brain is. bouncing inside of that yeah they should. do a movie called [ __ ] hard. well that could be his last film. yeah and let me tell you something god. bless bruce willis that dude's the. [ __ ] guy he's a legend. give it to me. so uh when i first moved to la this is. in 97 77. 1977 yeah no 1997.

right i was at the chinese man theater. that's appropriate. i'm gonna let it go they just named it. after you. really funny but i'm gonna let it go. that's fine okay. so um you're at the wong theater what. you're at the wong theater okay oh am i. supposed to be across the street no this. is the wong theater. [Music]. bang the gong wong all right go ahead.

all right. clip that don't yeah don't don't shane. gillis man yeah yeah just clip that but. anyway um. i was i don't know what movie i was. gonna i was watching but i see two. gigantic bodyguards crouching tiger. hidden dragon or something. no so anyway um you see two gigantic. bodyguards. can you get all the asian jokes out. right out of the way because they throw. me off a little bit i didn't have any. that's all i had yeah yeah that's all i. had because you did the wong the wong. was good.

just give me the give me the thing. anyway two big guys are they sumo. wrestlers. yeah i like it. [Music]. go ahead and so um. and i go wow there's two guys suits and. then behind them i see. a guy with bald head and i realize it's. bruce willis right and i kind of follow. them because i never in my mind. have been around at that time. i've never seen a celebrity before. you're brand new sure. you know.

comics and stuff right but you've never. been around a movie star a movie star. like a real bonafide movie true movie. star true movie star. and i follow them and there's an. elevator that goes up somewhere. and they both they get in brute gets in. and i they won't let me in the elevator. i literally followed i stalked them. right. and i smile and he winked at me. and then the elevator closed and they. went up i never saw him again so sexy. but i just remember going like it i just. i still remember it you know it was like.

wow wow that was amazing yeah he still. he's one of those guys. because there's no star like even like. i've seen oscar isaac before okay you. know what i mean and i've said hi to him. and stuff like that. he didn't even look at me but my point. is. but my point is i don't have that same. like aw. anymore with people you know who who. could still make you feel that way. there a celebrity it has to be like it. has to have it has to come from an older. era when you were when you were a kid.

when i was a kid you know i mean so if i. um. i don't know. who. anybody with. you i think when i. dinero yeah i think de niro probably. deniro yeah i think like um. um pacino yeah but pacino but if i but. you know if you met pacino now it'd be. tough. why. because i think he's a little. yeah. yeah. yeah he's up there i think it'd have to. be someone like that from my youth like.

well for me jim carrey and then i get. making when he became my boss was yeah. that was very surreal. yeah i always felt i always felt like it. was. fake. i ran to him last week where malibu no. me and me and kalila went to keegan. michael key's birthday party oh nice and. and um jim carrey was there. with standing there with kevin nealand. and when i walked in it was a small. group maybe. 60 people mask-less yeah. yeah but this is before pen i got. covered.

it was a friday mm-hmm sure maybe who. knows but go ahead ron howard was there. he definitely gave you covet. yeah and once i walked in i was just. like we were already uncomfortable. too many famous people yeah was it no it. was just like it's too intimate and you. know it's just not my deal what do you. mean by that. well because it's just not my i'm not i. don't feel like if it was comics it's. one thing but it's like it was just a. bunch of like elements i didn't know. anybody yeah but you could get to know. any of them right so anyway we walked in.

and jim. immediately waves to me. which makes me feel comfortable yeah i. walk up he shakes my hand i go what's up. dude and he goes hey man and bobby lee. or whatever. and then he goes. and kalila shakes his hand. and i just thought. i've always just thought he was like one. of the nicest guys he's so nice he is. he's a lot he's lovely but what was. great is i then i went right to the. buffet because you know what i mean that. sounds right and there was another guy. there. kind of mumbling was like i don't know.

what i'm doing here it's not and look up. it was tony hale you know tony i love. tony hale and. while we hung out with him all night i. mean he came to our table we just hung. out all night but um. anyway that was my jim carrey. i just watched a korean drama. 21 and i finished it today and it was so. sad and i cried a lot did you cry today. yeah do you cry a lot. yeah but i'm on my period so maybe i'm. more emotional good to know yeah. i have been going on a cry fest. yesterday do you see me crying when i.

was watching my ipad no yeah i was who. were you watching do i watch um. fathers holding babies for the first. time oh no then bursting into tears oh. my god or like i like reunion stuff oh. yeah you know i mean like when a soldier. comes home and sees their kid you want a. really good cry video. watch a guy get listened to sound for. the first time with cochlear implants. i've seen that do you know what that is. or the glasses oh my god they're called. glasses see for the first time no the.

they can see. see for the first time. no. no what. where they can see color for the first. time yeah they can kind of yeah you're. good it's amazing like the old man you. know man putting the glasses on he's. never seen purple he starts bawling he. starts bawling is that that makes you. really take it that really takes it for. granted because look at how beautiful. all these colors are and some people. can't see them yeah look at me. i'm filled with color i know you are and. i can see you for the first time you see. me now yeah yeah see me hear me son.

i am a son yeah yeah i'm a son i'm a. brother. hey here's another thing that i want to. say to to you okay is that. i really think that you and i should. have way more gratitude in our lives i. agree. i i don't think that i think you hold on. to anger and i think that like you you. just don't don't don't gaslight me don't. do that don't just say i hold on to. anger that's not. real i can get angry but i don't hold on. to anger okay. you um don't hold on to anger.

but you absorb it. and i redistribute it you redistribute. right through violence correction okay. i'm that's why i tell you i'm on wheels. right but what i want to say is is that. like when you see undercover boss. what a show what a show. and you know when an employee does well. yeah and they give them a show. emmanuel. what you did for me is you opened my. eyes up right. and this is you know all the you know. difficulties that you've gone through. your life and you're still got a.

positive attitude on the floor. and i'm going to give you 300. right and i'm going to contribute it to. your college fund oh let me tell you i'm. about to quit this job [ __ ] so i'm out. well no but emmanuel. what i'm saying to you is that we want. you at the job i don't want to be at. this [ __ ] anymore i'm not trying. to work for general mills for the rest. of my life [ __ ] i'm out but you were so. great on the floor yeah [ __ ] because. i'm high as [ __ ]. well emmanuel will you take the three. hundred dollars and then i mean give it.

to me cat you got cash is it just a. chance no no well you know it's we're. incorporating this. [ __ ]. well we anyway thank you me [ __ ] thank. you emmanuel. thank you whenever those undercover boss. it is funny they're like. you're such a good little worker yeah. we're going to give you a thousand. dollars yeah and they think that's going. to like be the thing for these people. you're like what i'm saying this make. them ceo you want to be a real boss yeah. swap swap you want to try it here what's. that you guys want to try here yeah i.

want to try it here you're fired. yeah. isn't that the right show but what i'm. saying though is you're fired people. basically. you you you. we need to be more grateful no but you. also realize that people like have real. struggles and stuff and you know a. little helps you know i mean all right. so let's do this then yeah. i get it i get a i get barrages of. messages. to like fan pages or whatever that says. bad friends has helped me tremendously. during tough times yeah so we want to. take a second to thank everyone.

for listening to the show for watching. the show yeah and if we're helping you. that means you're helping us. we're doing this together yeah and if we. need more gratitude what do we need to. do then do you want to set up a. foundation or something we should be do. a fan a foundation for some of our fans. okay that are maybe uglier. so you want an ugly fan fund yeah ugly. fan fun so we can get cosmetic surgeries. for people all right so listen up if you. are or if you are a cliff note what's. that what's that a cliff palette a cliff. no no it's a cliff note yeah it's a b.

sharp a b sharp yeah i mean yeah a. diminished b sharp cliff mouth thing. right. then we will help with the surgery okay. how about this i had a good friend who. had that when we were young by the way. and it's a serious thing so it's not. funny. uh. how about this if you're an ugly fan. yeah if you're a uf. we're going to start a uff with an ugly. fan fund and we're going to raise some. money. i think we might need to help out. old.

you're perfect you're beautiful just the. way you are yeah what no. a real fun for a fan if you have. something surgery that you can't afford. yeah it'll hit us up. i'm being genuine yeah i had a friend. with a cliff note yeah and i didn't ever. want him to smile because you because. why you saw all of it no no because when. the cliff when cliff people with. clifford smile the cliff opens up a.

little bit it's a cleft palate. a cleft. a cleft cleft a cleft note is it a cleft. note i don't know what it is you keep. saying cliff notes you know cliff notes. are like uh. with books the cliff notes. i've covered man i know yeah i don't. know what i'm saying but why do you feel. lately what has been hitting you about. gratitude for real is it because when. you got sick you thought i'm lucky that. i'm alive and life is good i don't know. when you turn 50 and. you get sober again you know and you.

just kind of look at your life and you. just kind of go. you know i should be the happiest man. alive are you not happy right now bob no. i i'm getting there i want to get happy. you know and so i'm just you know doing. different things to. get there. and it's it's you know i've always and. i'm sure you know you're probably. dissimilar. is we're always. like there's a carrot. yeah you know ahead of like we're. holding a carrot and we're constantly. chasing it.

like a horsey you're saying like the. carrot is on our back and we're just no. no like you know when your horse you put. a carrot in front of the horsey and. that's how they walk you know what i. mean. and it's like so we're horses. and the business has the carrots yes and. i don't want the carrot there you don't. want to carrot at all anymore yeah. because it's like there's nothing i. already have it you already ate but i'm. always constantly thinking that there's. a [ __ ] carrot in front of me. i agree right but now what are you gonna. eat. that's true potato potato put a potato.

like a baked potato right they closely. chase that that's what happens when you. make a little bit of money you just get. fatter so it went from a carrot to a. carb. you went to vegetable to carbs yeah. that's really what it is but my point. though is is that. you know you we have to kind of go. this is it. this is good everything that i have is. it this is it yeah that's like. everything is [ __ ] it's the same thing. like i was really bummed about like the. show that you got that i didn't get. what show beef beef on netflix coming. out hopefully. right so like i was when you when i.

first found out and i i want to talk. about it i'm only on three episodes it. doesn't matter i wanted it bad. why did you think you wanted it so bad. because. i like ravi a lot and i like a24 and i. like steven and ally and i like the. provenance of the show and um. i just wanted it you know i auditioned. for a couple times and i didn't get it. it's fine but. you know i was bummed that you know no i. was happy that you got on. congratulations i'm happy i'm so so.

talented you're allowed to be bummed. that i got it but i have to admit there. was but that's where it stemmed from. like like what am i. like i should here here's the thing. one time when i was a kid. i started doing stand-up i started with. a guy named freddy sotel i know freddie. well. go ahead okay and he passed one of the. funniest guys i've ever seen yeah stage. but when we were younger him and i did. open mics together. okay. and then a couple years down the road he. got a show.

and he i was living in san diego he was. living in la. he came down to do a show in san diego. and he told me i got this stand-up show. and instead of saying congratulations go. how'd you get that. i want to get it. and then he looked at me and he goes no. congratulations like what the [ __ ] man. right. and i realized then it's like that's not. who i want to be that's gross who do you. want to be. i just want to be happy for other. people's success and just be happy with. what i have.

and then like that's it that's good yeah. but you know sometimes i slip into a. competitive. like where's mine kind of a [ __ ]. mentality and i don't want to be there. anymore i like that a lot yeah yeah so. um congratulations thank you. we just got picked up for a second. season. and a third i think yeah congratulations. oh i'm getting a [ __ ] phone call. hello. no i'm on the show and i'm off you know. i'm only doing a couple episodes yeah. i'm really literally barely on the show. but i will say it is daunting it's all.

curry it's literally all korean people. yeah it's hundreds we played basketball. at a korean church yeah and they took a. photo yeah. and it and it looks like i'm adopted. it's it's a hundred korean people and me. yeah it's weird very just amazing that i. couldn't get a korean channel. i was um. i was a little shocked yeah yeah well. you know the roles were for us. that's even more painful it's okay the. carrot's gone. the carrot's gone and i'm happy to be.

where i am and i'm grateful that i have. the what i have how about this the. character's name is bobby. i know that i read it the charac the. carrot is right there i know but i. couldn't get it. no it's not that. i think it was more that uh. i think it's more i'm not a good actor. no it was more that you went away to. rehab which is the truth that is the. truth so unfortunately if we want to be. true to the fans it's that they know i. mean you went away to rehab when they. were doing that show and then you i also. lost another movie you but you had to.

focus on you dude that was more. important man i lost. i had this other movie with zoe dashnell. and i was in rehab and they're like you. lost it because you they were shooting. and you lost so what. that's what i'm saying is is that i know. i'm calm well. i'm [ __ ] calm what i'm telling. everyone listening right yeah is is that. it's just everything is just meant to be. and it's fine. if it happens it happens it happens it. happens it doesn't it doesn't and it's. like i don't want to live like that. anymore.

i like that yeah you're feeling more at. peace now i'm trying. this is i like this you do i just think. maybe maybe sobriety your age and kovid. has kind of all. combined to just. level bob out maybe yeah. it's good. is there anything else you want to say. or admit. yeah i'm so jealous of you. i want to kill you. sometimes i want to kill you well. honestly yeah. you're better than me huh yeah a little.

bit yeah you're better than me. you know you know there's one thing i. did tell we did talk about me and david. cho talked about you. we talked about you all the time. actually yeah you're kind of the point. of conversation often. but he said. he said a lot of stuff about you. a lot of it good a lot of it bad yeah. yeah. but he i did say to him you know being. along and i'm being genuine right now. yeah yeah. being along with you for this ride and.

as close as we've gotten over the past. couple of years we've been friends for. years we've gotten so close yeah. and i said there's a side of you that. that he david or other people don't know. that i do know. and i'm going to be honest yeah. is that beneath the things that i. [ __ ] hate about you yeah and there's. a bunch. there's things i don't like about you as. well but just just let me finish all. right. do you know there's a scene in. beetlejuice. a different movie please there's a scene.

in beetlejuice where he's trying to dig. in the in the. in the fake um world. that alec baldwin alex baldwin stephen. baldwin. alex alec was alec was had made that. little model wait beetleju that that's. the one that he didn't kill anybody on. anyway. and beetlejuice was digging up the fake. model and he had to rip up all this. ground and it's very vivid in my mind. because i watched a lot as a kid and he. was digging and digging and digging and. i feel that way with you.

i feel like i have dug past all of the. [ __ ] that i don't like that i know. is just you being you sometimes being. mean to me for no reason or saying. [ __ ] up [ __ ] for no reason and then i. get down to the guts of it all and down. inside is beetlejuice. is my sweet little lord of the afterlife. yeah my little prince. my little spiky weird hair yeah. um your sister's hot oh you [ __ ]. piece of [ __ ]. i should be genuine yeah yeah i know.

what i don't know that those guys is. that you deep down are a super caring i. am what do you mean deep down it's off. the surface. you have to go deep the surface the. surface is [ __ ] with you it's all. [ __ ] what are you talking about you. know what i'm talking about. can i say something you bury yourself in. your phone you disappear from. conversation. you oftentimes go blah blah blah i don't. care goodbye and you hang up the phone. on me you're short with me sometimes you. can be rude dismissive mean you can be a. bully even though you're tiny you can be.

a bully. but but really what i've seen the last. couple of years oh my god. he's a sweet sweet sweet man a sweet. caring loving little man who just wants. to be around people that love him. that respect him and enjoy him. yeah you say go to me may i go to you. now may you say go to me now all right. so um thank you for being a bad friend. google it.

every time you say google i think you're. going to say something else google it. google it. a brand new server presented by. google. [Music].