Bobby Floods the House and Rudy Gets Payback | Ep 26 | Bad Friends

bobby kept shouting on me when we were. driving here. yeah she's so loud and so annoying. they're so annoying. i hate this job jewels i know look these. mics actually get close to you. i think we should just like we can take. over. do you think the show would be. successful if we would do it. maybe right maybe look we even have.

some of the homeless plus. clothes from tito bobby. yeah right yeah. hey welcome to bad friends hi. right and i can just like yell at you. because that's super easy. like you're late you're late today why. are you late. right you just have to do nothing this. is the easiest job in the world.

yeah they don't even know how much we do. can i still have my knife. yeah i think you should have your knife. okay. that's it there you are. if they um interrupt us then then we use. that. yeah that'll be nice be so nice. i think this will be so much nicer. you talking now you're starting yeah why. don't you start the podcast. let them start the podcast all right.

is it on everything on yeah okay go. ahead welcome to bad friends. hi we decided to take over. bobby and andrew yeah because this is. such an easy job we just get to talk. and shout at each other right. right and be mean be. we could be good good friends instead of. bad friends yeah. right we're way nicer.

so what do you do today juliana did you. sleep until like. four no i slept until um. five and i woke up because the. constructors were coming to our house. because. um yesterday tito bobby fled the house. well we were on the beach. shut up shut up.

yeah right so what else happened and. then. the floor is broken and then we have to. move. to another house in a week how did he do. that. i don't know he couldn't hear it. so but i don't believe him was he. playing video games. he was doing yoga. he was exercising yeah oh wow. you guys are doing a good job with him.

what about you. bobby can you get closer to the mic. i am close closer. this is it it's right into middle no. closer i'm close now. this isn't the way he does he can't get. any closer than this. that's what you do you two are bad. friends. who are these two idiots.

[Music]. we're bad friends somebody's gotta go. to a country club so he can get in. at three o'clock because he is elitist. that's right it's like. um hey everybody welcome to debt bad. friends i'm i'm bobby lee i'm andrew. santino. and so you know i get a call yesterday. from.

my one of my best buddies because hey. he goes hey you know how that's how he. [ __ ] answers the phone i said hi bob. i was actually very nice the other day i. go hey bob how are you yeah yeah and i. congratulated you didn't i. because because what did you do what'd. you do the other day so uh. nothing what did you do what do you mean. i do a lot of things. no what did i congratulate you on bob oh. i'm being. perfect what did i congratulate you on. oh oh you sold a television show okay.

congratulations thank you. that's huge yeah and so i had to move so. let me say something yeah go ahead all. right. so i'm this week i'm pitching. to to networks because i wrote a stupid. show. okay with my friend peter and peter. wrote it. go ahead god damn you don't even have. final draft on your computer i bet my. life on it oh okay. anyway do you do i don't have a computer. okay okay so peter wrote it no you. i do old school oh yes.

old school hemingway what's old school. with a feather pen. yeah yeah okay all right so you wrote. the show with peter and you sold a show. and i was so happy. for you so then thursday we shoot this. on thursdays usually yeah usually and i. call them and i say. listen we're still pitching to other. places. can we move this to friday and he goes. you know his face gets on fire i'm. ghostwriter. right yeah and then um so then.

last night he calls him he goes meet me. at one o'clock we do it. we do this at three by the way bob do. you think you can do this at 1 pm that's. what i said. bob do you think you can do it tomorrow. 1 pm that's like asking a normal person. just a normal person hey can you get. here at four in the morning. normal people don't [ __ ] sleep till 3. p.m i'm just saying i'm i'm not normal i. have. i'm a i have a different that scale. isn't scheduled but that's but that. scale is incorrect. that's not correct it's like somebody is. saying hey can you can can you show up. at 7 am yeah.

pretty it's super reasonable 7 am super. reasonable okay people do it every day. to go to work. every single day in fact the mass. population probably does that every day. yeah but. go ahead tell your [ __ ] story right. so um. i go i go why don't worry about it. i move for you that's right i move for. you. i move for you and i go all right you. must have something important to do. that's right so i get up and it was. really difficult. and you got up today it was hard to get.

up today it's so hard to get up you know. i get up. yeah i gotta [ __ ] you know andrew has. his aunt probably has cancer. and he has to go to the hospital or you. know. he's meeting you know the russo brothers. i am meeting the russo brothers this is. going to be in the next avengers movie. something you know something like that. and that let me finish. you're so annoying i don't have any work. coming in right now. really you're on davey it doesn't come.

back for a calendar year. a year so i don't get to work for a year. so you get to dance around you've done. two commercials okay. you've had two auditions and you sold a. television show. so then i go i come here and i go what. was it at three that you had a girl well. i'm trying to get into this country club. golf club country club golf club. it's a men's club it's a golf club and i. go. that's why you move i have to go meet. with the board today that's important. all right so at 3 p.m.

what are you getting so angry you're. such a [ __ ] you get you're a. gaslighting dick no you're a dick. you were smoking and you talked [ __ ]. outside before the cameras were on i'm. so calm right look at the average time. that most americans wake up yeah. guess what time it doesn't have on there. p.m no post meridian on there. four five six seven eight. you get a you complain about waking up. at one o'clock in the afternoon. the reason why you're doing me a little. baby face i'm sorry juliana's sick.

then why is she here she sleeps right. she sleeps she needs 12 hours of sleep. why are you here if you're sick she. shouldn't be here if she shouldn't. i i'm on a daily basis i'm on her. schedule. so she can get her [ __ ] rest okay. is that true jules no you don't sleep 12. hours. i do but there we go she has a condition. she's growing she's a 18 year old girl. she's young she's still growing she. needs her sleep and a rest her mind is. still developing.

you are 50. you don't you've got. shouldn't you be 38 48 yeah 48 years old. i know but you're. kissing 50 right there is that 50 yeah. and it's fine i'm not criticizing you. for your sleep schedule but when i ask. you to do me a small favor. can't you just do me a small favor if. people didn't know who we were and we. took our. we took head shots and we we had a. [ __ ] committee like a focus group. yeah and said who's older i don't know. i don't know who would [ __ ] win that.

[ __ ] competition that's because you. were always ugly you always looked ugly. and i got uglier as i got older that's. fine but. you were you always looked that way. that's i mean that's cruel. it's just as cool as the thing you just. said to me bob you just said i look. older than you said i was 50. you are oh no you're almost 50 now and. you know what we're gonna do for your. 50th birthday. let's go back to the country club let's. go back to the golf club and let's go. back to your house. why are you moving out of your house. okay. if we out first of all i was not going. to even mention this jules did. so there are consequences to your.

behavior young lady right. and we talked on the we talked that we. would not mention this. and you threw me [ __ ] under the bus. so um you broke the floor and now you. have to move. can jules tell it can i hear her tell it. instead of you because yours is going to. be. what she just told it yeah and she just. said something. that made me so angry what did she say. she goes and it's bobby's fault. something like that was it bobo's fault.

i mean no one was there. accept him if it's only you at home. whose fault is it then. okay so what you're saying to me is this. that i took the kitchen okay so. we have a we have two sinks in the. kitchen i know okay we have an. island yes on the island next to the. sink. right is the lever for the [ __ ] sink. is one of those long metal things that. stick out and it's very loose yeah.

you tap it a little bit water sprays. sure. what's next to the sink the cat balls. we have three cats i know okay bojo. or goonie one of those two cats hit the. [ __ ] lever. right while i'm in the other room doing. yoga. these girls are going to the beach. you know because that's the life they. live yeah easy peasy. easy peasy easy easy-peasy right you.

bastard. you [ __ ] did you even invite did you. invite him to the beach no she yeah no. she didn't i think. isla did but then no you don't you. didn't invite me but i think. yeah but you didn't invite me why didn't. you say tito bobby do you want to come. to the beach do you not care if he comes. to the beach no i care but i think. i already did and he said no but i think. it would mean a lot to him if you. invited him. okay next time yeah it would mean so. much to me. all right oh and oh by the way i wasn't. gonna even mention this.

but just you just you just you deserve. it. um when we were the [ __ ] car right. over here we drove by a guy. right and she goes there he is i go. and i wave to this guy we're driving hmm. did i go. who would i just wave to it's him. who you would think that it was brad. pitt. right a fame some famous yeah i think it. was george clooney. just walking down the street right she. goes jason nash. you know what that is oh yeah he does uh.

um. yeah he he did sketch stuff i'm sure. he's a very nice guy i'm very talented i. know who he is yeah. but she acted as if it was jesus just. came back. i wasn't that excited you were yeah you. were you. yeah you did yeah you were yeah you were. no yeah you were. okay you like him huh yeah she likes. them and then she does a slam another. slam that you did. i go what do you like that guy no he old. i go she goes she old as you.

and i was like you know yeah but she. likes him because she's entertained she. finds him entertaining. you don't have a crush on him no no no. no it's not like that. i mean she just said she's funny i have. no idea. she thinks he's funny so anyway i'm. doing yoga. and um all of a sudden. you know i'm in the pose i'm doing the. stretches yeah right. all of a sudden i see collide like. running. they come home from the beach the house.

is flooded. i go into the kitchen there's like this. much water. right wait time hardwood in florida time. out real fast. they were gone you were home the house. flooded. you didn't know no wow. so you had turned on the sink on. accident you got down to do yoga. [ __ ] turn on the stick i never use. that [ __ ] sink but neither do they. yeah they do they use that single leg. they didn't use it that day before the. beast the cat hit. it man the cat turned it on yes so wait.

it did it. it's the spigot that goes into the sink. how would it flood is it plugged to the. city no so the so the. the the uh is it the spigot sure where. the water comes out yeah i don't know if. we can say that but. what's it called i think it's a spicket. okay let's just say call it spigot. it was off to the side right on the. counter. like it was turned cause it turned you. can talk yeah. so what they're accusing me of is i went. gee i have yoga in five minutes. i might as well just do this yeah.

i like water yeah yeah yeah yeah i did. not do that you know i know it's the cat. you know how i know it's the cat. the woman who bought this house across. the street from me uh really sweet girl. anesthesiologist just moved in. the first week she was in the house she. has two cats. she's gone because she works long hours. at the hospital. for 13 hours one night she comes home. the entire house is flooded. cause a cat turned on the sink exactly. and ruined the whole thing. she a week she moved in she had to redo.

the whole floors and all in the whole. entire house. yeah because all the water kept going. down to the other levels too yeah and. that's what we're worried about so wait. is your water seeping down to the other. levels of that. the wood is getting bumpy oh dude it's. warped oh that's really bad. do you think that she should pay for it. yeah. i think you should work it out there's. another slam that she did so i tell them. i swear to god it's the cats she doesn't. believe me this one. what do you think happened let me tell. let me ask what rudy what do you think. happened. no i think um the cats but then.

he could have heard the water oh she's. saying you were negligent. in your behavior she's saying you don't. care so what she's saying is is that i'm. doing the yoga pose what position do you. think you're in right here. yeah what is that i'm upside down right. now oh on your head this is the floor. what's that called what's i don't know. yoga position what's it called headstand. headstand i'm doing a headstack. that's what that's called how come some. of them were so elaborate and that one's. called headstand. they're downward dog there's yeah yeah.

yeah yeah what's the baby one. uh birthing childbirth child pose. yeah yeah what's the other one there's a. there's another really cool bra. the cobra that's this one right no not. no this is that's an eagle. that's an eagle that doesn't look like. an eagle at all this looks more like a. cobra yeah because snakes intertwined. like spinal bifida yeah they call it the. spinal bifida. um this is the humpback here's what. happens so i tell them. we're bummed and so i guess 40 minutes. later. i go oh i'll have some coffee.

right what so i so i you know it's one. of those coffees where. it's a machine where you press the. button it goes right it's a. little cups yeah it's a keurig something. like that yeah. and i press it and then all of a sudden. there's coffee all over the place and i. have. forgot to take the cup and put it in the. thing oh it just said you just thought. coffee the cup will be there. i just i don't know what make coffee. coffee machine i don't know what it is. so there's. not coffee everywhere bob and then she.

looks at me she goes. you did the faucet. yeah i love you jules you wait. i'm on your team it's not your fault. it's not your fault that being said. um someone has to pay for it and that. someone is you. how much is it going to cost be real did. they estimate it it could cost anywhere. between. 20 grand i don't know where did you. where do you guys have to go in the. meantime you have to move into a rental. i'm triggering trying to figure out if. we can stay there. while it's while all that work they have. to rip up all the floors right yeah i.

don't know. there's no way this woman across the. street had to go to a hotel. she couldn't they were like you can't be. in the house we're ripping up all the. floors. that's a disaster was she bummed you. know what's so funny is like she was. upset but she goes this isn't the first. time my cats have [ __ ] something up in. the house. yeah there was the first time in my mind. i'm like is that worth having cats. i mean you know my opinion i know i love. you you know what my dog has never done. never turn on my sink yeah you know what. your dog has never done what. hopped onto a kitchen cabinet yeah. because that's insane.

why do i have an animal inside the house. that acts like it's a zoo. that's true right i like animals that. poop outside stay on the floor. we should have a rule cat's dancing on. the floor next time you're on anything. levitated good luck good luck to you. good luck you're gonna go to peru cause. in peru they have a um. uh a cat eating festival do they yeah. where they. hunt the cats though so they put a cat. in the wild. no i don't know they're like house cats. you put a cat in an. arena and they throw like bow and arrows. out of it.

yeah yeah it's real yeah. i think it's in peru you know i don't. know how the game works well cats have. different meanings all over the world. right if you go to egypt cats are the. most like uh. they're they're high praise right. they're like these beautiful uh ancient. creatures that they that they give a lot. of love to. but then you go to certain places like. uh um. in the uh in the netherlands uh they. have shot putting contests with cats do. you know that oh no they throw them as. far as they can. wow because cats are going to land on. their feet yeah so you'll just they'll. just huck them as far as they can those.

netherland people are wild dude. so they spin them around yeah yeah what. do they call that when they put two. cats in a bag and hang them over like a. um. a phone pinata no what they do is back. in the day you put two cats in a bag. they throw it on like a um a phone a. phone wire right. and then they just kill each other in. the bag whoa what is that called two. cats in a bag yeah. do you know what that is jewel so. there's a term it's a famous term but i. forgot what it was. um but you know what i love cats because.

you know dogs to me. yeah this is how this is how to cat. proof your home there's nothing in here. dogs do you what go ahead keep talking. dogs to me um are a little too needy. in what way i've always had cats i. prefer cats. yeah dogs are always like you know where. dogs are always like where are you going. yeah they want to know they're concerned. i don't like it what. if a dog cats are like who are you i. like that. you're they live in your house and. that's so disrespectful it's like that.

in women right. you don't want a woman that's too needy. but you want you want a woman that shows. you affection. and love which cats do on their time. that and that's what i like. it's like kalila when i met kalila but. kalila doesn't. kalila shows you love and affection all. the time no but kalila. was so difficult to get what do you mean. oh to like get as a girlfriend yeah i. mean it was i. i was like i might have people to get. this one. yeah first of all she's like none of us.

what. none of us thought so [ __ ] you. when i first saw kalila i was like and i. met her not when i saw her how about. this take away just her that she's. pretty yeah. when i saw that she was so cool and nice. and sweet yeah. i i was a little annoyed yeah yeah. but that was your girlfriend it bothered. me people get yeah people getting. people got annoyed yeah because a good. looking girl is a good-looking girl. there's a [ __ ] billion of them in los. angeles yeah. she's very cool and it was a little. bothersome for me yeah. it was annoying yeah better help.

hey bob you and i both need therapy and. we get it don't we i use. i use this um um service in my personal. life it changed my life i love better. help. yeah because it's nice to talk to people. and i know it's difficult right now it's. hard everyone's having hard times. but better help get you communicating in. almost no time i think during the. pandemic um doing internal growth is. very v. um this is your time to grow within and. to um. to help yourself um you know spiritually. grow emotionally grow. i agree and deal with trauma or whatever.

you in some issues that you have. and this way you can do it from the. comfort of your own home okay you can. log into your account anywhere and. message your counselor. these are professional people online. they're committed to facilitating. therapeutic matches. they make it easy for you right bob i. mean it's a simple thing we both used it. and they want you to be happy and uh we. i think we all deserve to. talk so affordable and it's more. traditional uh more than. offline counseling and financial aid is. available as well right so if you need. it uh they need it they can help you out. they want you to start living a happier. life today. uh go to their website and read their.

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bad friends that's meundies.com. no you and your wife bother me okay. that's fine but. but let me say this she shows you love. and affection. and just like a dog does right she's. concerned with where you go but in the. beginning no so in the beginning. right it was like her first thing was. i'm never going to go to l.a. she lived in long beach right and i go. what do you mean like you're gonna have. to come to me.

so every day you know how far long beach. is. that's where i used to live down how. long was how i mean from. l.a 45 minutes every day in traffic yeah. about an hour then. yeah yeah yeah every day i would drive. there. and back there and back. for months how long did it take before. she kissed you. well um it took about a month. a month no kisses no she would do things.

like um. spit in my face and stuff i swear to god. which is just as like a bit like a. sexual like a sexual oh that was hot. that was like oh yeah yeah took a while. to kiss. and then eventually um because what i. needed. to seal the deal was her to come to la. to come to the comedy store to see you. perform. not only see me perform but see because. i thought i think she thought i was a. lower level comic. she didn't know who you were at all she. did i mean outside and again.

yeah but she didn't know right so once i. brought her to the comedy store. she understood you have to bring a girl. to the comedy store well they have to. anytime you're dating someone yeah. whether it's brand new or it's late in. the relationship. you always need to let them see that. you're doing well yeah to give them some. semblance of like a hope hey you know. i'm like yeah. not i'm not i'm homeless i'm not. [ __ ] the bed. i'm actually like this i'm actually. that's only and that's only because. oftentimes people just go yeah i know my.

buddy's a stand-up comedian. oh what is he yeah he does it like i. think in june he does it like once every. june. every maybe like once a year or twice a. year yeah and then we become. that same guy in their mind oh you do. stand up oh what do you do when you do. it. every [ __ ] waking minute of my life. every night of my [ __ ] life. oh i've never seen you or you're or. you're in a cafe in the midwest right. you're on a gig. yeah right and you're at a cafe and some. guy will walk up to you and. sit next to you or whatever doesn't know.

who you are what are you doing here what. are you doing here and i go oh i'm a. comic. and he goes hey you live in los angeles. i go yeah. you know frankie rice and i go. frankie i know how would i know him he. does comedy as well. oh i say yes oh you do every time all. right let's say that no matter who it is. let's do this. okay i'm eating i'm i'm in we're in ohio. we're in ohio i'm just eating soup at a. little restaurant by myself. hey my redheaded friend hey how are you. hey my name is bill what's your name. i'm andrew oh hello andrew welcome.

what great weather today huh it is uh it. is uh. yeah oh yes i haven't seen you i come to. this coffee shop a lot i haven't seen. you around. what uh i mean yeah i don't i don't live. here where do you live. can i get the check um i live in uh. southern california. oh yeah oh i've never been to california. i've never. ever left the state well you should go. oh well you should go because it's a. it's a great place. what do you do what do you do for a. living there i'm going to pay for i'm. going to pay for his stuff as well. thank you thank you what do you do andy.

i'm in. uh i'm um i'm actually in town doing. stand up. will you do stand up wow yeah i'm at the. club here i'm just holding the club. right at the street you must know debra. nickelback oh yes yes. i do you know deborah nickelback do you. keep in touch with her. well she died she did die yeah she died. oh god yeah but she did stand up comedy. as well. right i remember her she was great she. was very good in fact. she was so good that that's somebody.

that i. looked up to for a long time i took no i. that's someone i love. yeah i love her and for an. african-american woman to do stand-up. thank you very much. stand up in that yes she wasn't. african-american she was white. she was white but she was always tan. when someone does that there's no. advantage of you have to just go for you. gotta. i just go yes may i think i've heard of. them yeah because if you say no. then they're gonna go huh you know bryce.

mickelson. no huh you know adam chetlahan. no yeah huh and they just keep digging. to think. and then they'll just shoot for the moon. then they'll they do a big name that. they know you don't know what i do. you do you do me now okay yeah well just. a table for one. and are you. ba are you bobby lee no you're supposed. to not know who i am oh [ __ ]. it's the same scenario yeah sorry what.

the [ __ ] are. i haven't acted in a long time go ahead. hold on yeah. i'll just take a booth here and that's. fine hey man. i don't know uh. i haven't seen i've never seen you here. oh hi hey. are you uh are you are you new in town. you should be real um. no i always open like yeah. no no hey how are you good man good good. good. yeah oh it's crazy uh out there today. isn't that nuts that car accident.

happened on i-98. yeah i didn't yeah you didn't read about. it this morning did you watch the. morning news. no man i'm not with cannon ken and karen. i'm not from around here oh you're not. from you're not alok. i'm not lucky oh where are you from oh. i'm from uh i live in los angeles. whoa yeah the biggest city captain. what goes on over there huh you must be. a hollywood guy. cocaine knights my friend really yeah no. i'm kidding are you a hollywood guy no. no i'm just. i'm still working i just do stand up.

shut up yeah you're a stand-up comment. yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah really. where are you are you in town performing. yeah where. the club right up here in the street. yeah the chuckle [ __ ] factory son of a. gun yeah. son of a gun yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah. yeah what are those what do those. tickets cost. maybe me and my me and my wife will go. uh. this sold out it sold out they sold out. yeah. wow well they must have given away a. bunch of tickets or something that's. wild i didn't even know they didn't even. tell me that they were selling i don't. do comps. what does that mean yeah i don't you.

know i have because i'm a special act. that um i don't have. oh you're a handicapped guy no and i was. gonna say that when i saw you when i. walked up. no but but honestly yeah no i i didn't. know so you do comedy that's what you. know i know some guys that moved out. there to do comments yeah and they're. doing really well. they're doing very well i want to know. hold on for a second yeah let me get my. notebook and pen. okay so i can write it down well just. some guys that i grew up with go ahead. tell me the names please i'm very eager. to hear it well. sarah silverman patton oswalt.

now that happened if he starts naming. names yeah. i actually have had a guy tell i had an. uber driver named someone that we did. know. uh i was in uh jersey. i was i was somewhere on the east coast. oh no i was doing uh yeah i was just. stress factory in jersey. and he he goes uh where are you going i. said i'm going to do this comedy club. and he goes oh cool i i know a comic out. there in uh. in uh in new york i said oh yeah you. know new york guys i'm an la guy he goes.

oh cool yeah do you know uh. uh uh do you know so-and-so no no i. don't know who that is yeah sorry no no. but i know. a lot of then he's like you know mark. normand i was like. yeah do you know mark he's like yeah i. know him well i don't as a as a friend i. was like oh. it like and then it shook me i was like. oh right right. okay uh and then it kind of became like. well what do you want to talk about then. like right because i. you make this barrier of like you i know. i know he's not gonna know and we're not.

gonna. this is gonna be weird but then we. started chatting about comedy and i was. like oh okay cool. yeah i mean i i can only get there with. people that are either. podcast friends sure i can't do it with. people that are like. fans of mine from other you know mediums. i guess. uh like like tv or whatever it doesn't. feel like there's they know me. yeah right but with podcasting they know. me. or i can talk to people that are in um. a 12-step group like i've been on the.

road where um. some i'll be in the bathroom somewhere. at a restaurant or something. and then i'll hear two guys talk about. the book and then i'll go oh i'm a. friend of bill w. all right right and then they'll go um. and then it always changes. you know the relationship almost as if. we're instant kind of a part of the club. it's k you're akin to one another. because yeah so then you know you. they're just uh. you know we speak the same language i. guess so i like that. you know that's so funny that there's.

this unspoken bond that that addicts. have in the same way that comic no. matter where you are you just meet a. comic you're like oh okay yeah if. they're working comic you right away are. like oh dude. we have this thing i talked to brad. garrett on my show and. you know ice had said that brad's. anniversary was coming up and. and richard lewis's anniversary just. happened for 26 years of sobriety. and i was asking how like his generation. bonds over that over the years because. obviously all the people that got sober. and his generation stayed alive. a lot of guys that didn't in that. generation are [ __ ] dead yeah which.

is crazy because on our generation. we didn't lose a lot of guys yeah. because. i think it's not as um they lost a lot. of guys. because back in the day it was like. something that people enable each other. to do. now it's like when you're a full-blown. drug addict you can't even get into the. clubs really. well they don't want to do it anymore. yeah it's it's difficult for. to survive because it's just like it's. just a completely different game whereas. before like i. i saw a documentary where richard pryor. was on a movie set.

right not only high he was smoking crack. on set you know what i mean and they. were the pa is like. uh richard we need you on set yeah he's. like great. hold on baby yeah yeah yeah like he's. sir he's smoking crack in the. in the trailer it was sort of enabled or. you know well it was almost because they. were such. you know they were such big stars that. were drug addicts. people like pryor or farley yeah that it. was like [ __ ] we need them. because they're so valuable yeah that.

what are they going to do they're going. to tell them no and then. then they're going to tell them to go. [ __ ] themselves yeah and then they're. like. that's the problem is there's no balance. to that because you're not going to be. able to tell an addict to stop when. they're in the middle of it especially. if they're. it's like it's like it's like when. someone tries to say to trump that he. can't do something. and he's like i already did it and i'm. the best yeah tell the guy that one. presidency that he did. he can't do anything and you're like. really because i i did that. so that's the same idea if you're an. addict you're like i'm [ __ ] killing. it.

who's to say that i'm not doing it right. so it's hard to communicate that to them. but also that kind of behavior though. isn't like. tolerated anymore like for instance well. no times have changed. like in that movie island of dr moreau. with marlon brando and val kilmer. yeah one day they just completely shut. down production. because val kilmer refused to go on set. if marlon brando didn't get there first. and marlon brando refused to go on set. if val kilmer didn't get there first. right. so they just shut down the [ __ ] day.

in this day in age. yeah the network would come the studio. would come down and go all right. josh brolin and brad pitt are coming and. get the [ __ ] out. right you know i mean they just wouldn't. tolerate it no it'd be it would be a. you get wipe clean if somebody wrote an. article that i thought was very funny i. don't know if it was like an onion thing. or something but they said. uh facts you don't know about. celebrities and it's gotta be a bit. but it said ben affleck refused to shoot. for six days. on geely because they made him wear a. yankees hat.

yeah yeah but like that would be the. level of uh. you can't do that [ __ ] anymore i don't. know i just think that like uh well you. know what like. here's what's changing in the business. genuinely. when you told me about selling the show. and i was genuinely happy for. you and i said what's it about. and you said it's about korea a korean. spa. in south los angeles correct in korean. koreatown and koreatown yeah oh i. thought it was in south. south korea it's fine and i thought. that's great and i said who you did.

who'd you do it with and we don't have. to say. his name if you don't want to peter okay. peter. and i said who's peter i don't know. peter and you said he is a. what'd you say he said he's korean. fat korean a fat korean gay guy gay guy. and i said perfect why because. that's who you need to write that show. because if you said to me i'm going in. there with uh. you know dan greenfield i'd be like well.

get someone korean to write a [ __ ]. career and i don't like. you know really talking about stuff that. really isn't real yet because if selling. a show isn't real. well then we can we don't have to know. but it's fine i like to talk about it. because. i think it's important yeah i think it's. [ __ ] important yeah right. but there is something about going in. because i've. pitched shows with you know older white. or you know and famous famous famous. show runners and it just doesn't work.

there's something about going in with a. kid who's you know. young gay asian. and in this climate it's almost as if. once he does his thing. in the pitch what's his thing he just. does this and we get so. he does this thing what he's like just. hit. blow one of the executives right he's. like so here's the show. he just kind of turns it up yeah he gaze. it up is that what you're trying to say.

no i'm not saying that. you just did i didn't i'm just saying. that he does a thing sure and once he. does that. right it's like oh we're going to does. are you gay on the show. no is there a gay character on the show. he's gay on the show yeah. okay great right and i called you on the. phone and i said is there a. white angry redheaded guy who maybe. works in the shop next door what's great. about the show. is is that um because it's um is there a. landlord a white angry redheaded guy. no oh the guy that the guy that um.

we have a part in the in the show right. that you could play and he you're. because what i love about pitching a. show like a korean spa. is that you because we have patrons that. come in or regulars. it's like cheers yeah where everybody. knows you everyone knows everybody knows. you're you're balls. and in korean spas if you haven't been. to a korean spa it's like you know. you'll see you know everyone goes there. hispanics black people yeah yeah it's.

very multicultural. cultural but it's eight seventy percent. korean dudes. older korean dudes right yeah it's. mostly it's mostly korean guys in their. 80s. which is why i love it i love it so um. but there is a character in my show that. he is a limo like a limo driver. i'm a limo driver yeah okay and so. you're always in the steam room at night. love it but you're always with other. celebrities love it because you're. you're a limo driver for celebrities. before they take them home i said do you. want to go to a spa. yeah yeah i love it and you're always.

complaining about things. and sitting next to you is always like. you know a big guy but they don't say. anything a famous game so hopefully one. day. if the show goes right yeah we could. have like. somebody you're just going on these. rants i love it and you're next to like. you know. whoever it might be tom cruise tom. cruise tom cruise yeah. love to be in a spa with tom cruise yeah. you know what else you could do. because every time i used to go to the. old when i lived uh. when i lived in near mid-city i would go. to the old the korean spot that's.

connected to the driving range on. wilshire. ah you know it's a driving range and. then the korean spas yeah so that could. i could be i could work with the driving. range. hey guys you remember the days when. you're always ready to go. now you can increase your performance. and get the extra confidence. confidence in bed listen up blueju.com. that's blue like the color blue yeah. brings you the first chewable uh with. the same fda approved active ingredients. as viagra and cialis it's gonna get it. pumped up humpy i've liked it i've used. it you know. i used it it really doesn't work good.

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it's better cheaper faster choice we. thank them for sponsoring the pod. remember supportive sponsors you support. us you make this possible thank you it's. the promo code bad friends of. bluetooth.com my korean spa is called. hyundai spa i'm gonna tell you because i. don't want people to flood there like. the car company. yeah i think yeah it's spelled the same. hyundai zone do they own them no. because they own a lot of stuff well my. spa is in an alleyway. there's no sign really oh so it's not a. nice spot no okay and it's been there. forever. and um it's 24 hours. of course why would you walk in there's.

an old korean lady there. you pay 20 bucks 15. and you walk in and it says hyundai spa. we do your taxes shut up. i'm not [ __ ] kidding you we do your. taxes they do taxes. barbershop all right ping pong arena. love that. right they do um all kinds of stuff. and wait wait a minute wait what is. taxes is it is way out there.

i know but it says it barbershop ping. pong is like athletic get it cleaned up. but taxes i think like han the guy. because there's this guy named han he's. a korean man. he's only 70 year old man and this guy. han. right he only goes at two in the morning. it's his own spa so he also used to have. a head shot of me. when i because i've been going there for. years since mad tv days yeah he. he used to have a mad tv you know what i. mean head shot of me and when you would. walk into the lobby. it would just be it be a headshot me. framed right. it was just one of those you know did.

you sign it yeah i signed it right. and then at my when my career started. just depleting. because after my team there was like an. eight year gap where i didn't do. anything. i know i remember he just took it off. he completely took it off and so now. there's like a dust you know i mean just. an outline of words. he didn't [ __ ] feel it right so. whenever i walk in there and they just. did this dust ring. what about no he wouldn't put back up no. you're killing it that way. that's so mean it's so mean put the. [ __ ] picture back up.

but this dude right um at two in the. morning and asked my brother or ask. paulie. yeah probably sure because i brought. polish which was the biggest regret. why bro so paulie's always there. right and i try to see if his car is in. the parking lot because if it is i won't. go. in because you don't want to talk no. i'll tell you what he does. as i walk in and if he's there he'll be. completely naked. with two korean men he was touching them. right and he goes chinese people.

are the most beautiful people in the. world. and he sings that out loud but he's. right i know but then. and then we'll be in the steam room and. he'll go chinese people does. not know it's a korean spa he doesn't. care do you think he knows where korea. is compared to. china he does he does but you know. paulie. has always been he was raised with. asians. because i don't know if you know this. but the comedy story the entire staff. hi well yeah i mean what's his name has.

a thai food restaurant down in santa. monica right. yeah so it used to be thai so he was. kind of raised by them. so he has this weird like affinity for. that yeah for asians but thai is much. different than korean. he doesn't he doesn't see the difference. well that's good he's that's good. i don't see color yeah i see asians so. when paulie's there i just it just i. just a sense of dread but i get that way. do you don't you get that way about a. lot of things when you see when. i've avoided going into places that i. when i see someone i know just because. i'm like. i just can't i can't do it i was gonna. go i was gonna go get.

uh one of my favorite mexican. restaurants right here near the house. and as i'm getting out of my car. i see someone waiting for a pickup order. that we know and i just didn't want to. talk. yeah and i just got in my car and i left. because i was like i don't. feel like chatting i do the i i i love. seeing somebody i don't want to talk to. first cause once they see you it's like. war zone. once they see you you're dead you're. dead right you gotta see them first it's. that moment of right. no right and then you're in the google.

when i see them right i go i just. i can do a route or i do what michael. mcdonald always talk. to always have your phone yeah get on. your phone on your hand. when you're in public always have your. phone so that when he sees someone be. lying towards you. you're talking to and it's got to be. something crazy what do you mean dad's. dead. yes i'm coming home now yeah that like. one of those yeah you have to have some. kind of emergency back to honda at two. in the morning when he does. yeah i have people that back him if you. walk in the steam room han. this 70 year old korean dude who owns.

the whole bling right. is he is he in good shape yeah he's. ripped he loves old korean dudes are. ripped all the time. he puts his hands behind his back like. this. and he never sits he's standing in the. middle of the spot in the steam room. so he's standing like this right yeah. and he makes these noises. oh yeah who does who is it. you know what i mean what is it what i. don't know ab workout his dick. is this big oh he's a heavy hitter yeah. he's got a big old louisville's like. i know this guy i know this guy and he's.

just standing there. you know what i mean who who get who did. it. is it moving like an elephant tusk it's. just yeah. it's just i guess when he goes yeah. it's always mid-hard yeah you know it's. nice because he's up here he's a thinker. he's a thinker he's a thinker right. and you once you walk you can't just go. excuse me. and close it like if someone's taking a. [ __ ] or something no you just have to go. you have to go i gotta go in right. do you have to like uh pay homage to the. peanut you have to like tug on it and go.

no he always. he always and i hate it because he. always says hi to me. he goes oh there he is. comedy comedy there he is. oh right and i go hi how are you it's. good to see you and he goes back. up and he does his thing you know it's. [ __ ] so weird he's gonna live forever. by the way he probably will yeah that's. one of those guys. i think but be honest with me. are you ever concerned with the sanitary. uh. the sanitization of that place i think.

you know because you know i have gained. like gangrene i have um. massive foot fungi i think gangrene is. what's gangrene gangrene is where it's. going to fall off yeah. no you have fungus infection you have an. infection and i got it from the spa. of course yeah yeah of course and i. think that because of this covet thing. it's a cesspool for. do you walk around without uh flip-flops. not only that i'm i walk around. free baby but wait a minute i'm okay. with the nudity but you don't wear. flip-flops on your feet. what does free mean baby bro i'm walking. if i go there i'm walking with uh uh.

aqua socks you know those. white guy aqua socks yeah i just don't. like that about public gyms is my. biggest beef. but it's you know i brought ian edwards. there once. and that's hilarious yeah and i said. um you got to be completely naked he. said nana. no i don't do that i don't do that i. don't do that son so then we're like i'm. getting naked i go in. to um inside the steam room and ian. edwards walks in and he's wearing an and. number one a bathing suit.

no yellow basketball shorts. like lakers lakers lakers and i go. where'd you find it he goes. i found him in the lobby what he just. took someone else's shorts. yeah because he didn't know what to do. all right because he doesn't want to be. naked. why do you think it is just not his. thing it's just not his thing. yeah it's you know it's not his thing. there's some guys that aren't. comfortable it's not their. thing who else have i brought there i. brought jay davis there. steve byrne people like that i like. steve byrne a lot yeah.

he's a good egg he's a good dude he's. one of those guys that i think. has always made me laugh and uh i wish. nothing but the best for someone like. that. honestly are you being honest yeah. because i really like he's never been. he's always been positive and always. been. funny yeah he's a nice guy it's like a. weird loophole in our business where. you're like why he's funny and he's very. sweet. yeah he really is a so why i wonder why. he's not well. i mean um more do you know how i met him. this is this is even sweeter when you. guys were on tour right now no.

no so i'm in l.a i'm broke. like i'm dirt broke right and i lived in. a uh once a one-bedroom apartment in. silver lake with 11 guys. what yeah i literally do a [ __ ]. migrant worker they used to call it the. dump the dumpster. yeah sounds like yeah yeah and it was. like uh we had a. i'm not kidding you a 50 year old guy. named dave. homeless guy lived there we had a. 17 year old runaway from beverly hills.

a girl a rich kid though a meth head. though yeah yeah but she could she'll go. back and she was able to stay there. i can't say her name but she was able to. stay there because. she cleaned the house because she was on. meth all the time yeah she would take a. toothbrush at five in the morning. and she was just cleaning the [ __ ]. living room yeah or the you know. whatever the living space a responsible. method is kind of cool though my brother. steve lived in my closet. like just in the fl on the floor yeah. where did you keep any of your stuff did.

you have clothes no clothes. uh just a pile we would share community. grab it. but so we were living there and but for. some reason. i did the tonight show jay little. really yeah wow so i took a bus there to. burbank to the tonight show yeah. wow and so i was just and this is when. right when phones came out. cell phone like the nokia like for snake. yeah with snake yeah yeah yeah and i get. a call.

and it's this steve byrne i don't know. him. and he goes hey man i'm steve byrne i'm. a comic. i go what and he goes i live in new york. i'm just grinding it out okay yeah he. goes oh by the way i. uh the reason i got your nut your number. from barry katz. and he goes i saw your tonight show man. really inspiring. oh wow and i was just like wow because. no. no one ever has said good job on you.

know well comics don't it's hard for. comics. no one says good job right right unless. you're best friends. so for him to do that was so [ __ ]. kind it was very important to me. at the time and then when he moved up. here it moved to l.a we just became very. good friends. there's only a few times small moments. like that when comics do stuff you know. they mean it because they don't have to. say it. unless they're your friends yeah look. the the one of the most meaningful. moments of my career was you know i. bill burr tweeted at me. uh after i put out my special on.

showtime in. 2017 and i didn't love it i was kind of. bummed about it. i think i rushed into it whatever. but he said something so nice in the. tweet. and i texted him to thank him and i was. sitting on my patio and i got i got. emotional because it meant a lot to me. he didn't need to say anything yeah. publicly he could have been like hey man. good stuff. but it was just him doing that out loud. for other people to hear it just meant a. lot to me. yeah he's a guy with a real strong. ethics well he wouldn't say it if he.

didn't mean it. yeah bill doesn't uh yeah yeah no no. he's just not one of those kind of guys. like i. um. know whenever and because i i like. people that are flawed. and aren't ethical right right people. people that have issues. yeah like you and like you exactly. that's what we're two. two pieces in a pot baby two peas in a. pot do you think we're peas. whatever but with bill you're like a. water chestnut. and i'm like a baby carrot yeah you.

always just like but with bill what. sorry my mind wanders. with phil with bill he there's because. he has such strong ethics and stuff. i can't he'll see through my [ __ ]. he's through everybody's business right. so then i have to be. at my full supreme bobby mode. yeah and i don't like it well you're you. you i've seen you when you've got your. p's and q's together when you're trying. to be like um. you know a good boy yeah and like.

focused it's not who you are. it's phony baloney yeah and i think he. sees through it so one time you know. sebastian had some sort of like pizza. party. he's got to know does he have his own. pizza oven one of those yeah yeah. no he has italians there like real chefs. he bought a couple of italians i heard. yeah he paid for them online for them. his houses it's it's it she's been there. she's been there i know i see his online. he posts every every every other week. it's a new. area of his uh it's crazy so i um you. know i'll never own a home like that.

will no way i mean you would be able to. afford one i. never could i in my mind i'm so scared. of that kind of stuff. because it scares me i you know i don't. want to be like ed mcmahon you know ed. mcmahon is. shut up you know who ed mcmahon was yeah. he was johnny carson's psychic right do. you know. don't talk to me like that like i don't. know who well sometimes i'm a part of. comedy i know but sometimes i. sometimes shut up sometimes i think you. might yeah sometimes i think you might. not know. ed mcmahon at the end of his career. truth be told couldn't afford his house.

they put a lien on his house. oh really yeah but that that's my point. is like i think sometimes when you buy. stuff that's so much. that's my fear obviously sebastian's. fine but you'd think ed mcmahon would be. fine. so why did they have to lean his heart. what if he sees his house he just wasn't. paying his mortgage and then when he was. dying. it was like we're gonna have to take it. back the bank's gonna take back your. house. yeah well if he's dying why would he. give a [ __ ] because then. then all your finances for your children. and your children's children are [ __ ]. oh that's true then you [ __ ] them over. then they have to pay for all your debt.

that's my biggest fear is leaving debt. for other people back to sebastian. though. sorry my bad sorry big house sorry yeah. it's so hard to keep track with you. sometimes yeah i'm like a tree. i know because we go this way and i go. this way then in my head i have to go i. have to still keep this as a thing. because i was starting the story but the. road less traveled i'm going to meet you. there at the end. we're going to get there i just want to. go to the i want to i want to get leaves. this is a really good mental exercise. for me though. that's what this is thank you yeah yeah. it really is being with you here. yeah is such a big mental exercise for. me but that's a good thing. because you know not only am i talking.

but there are sense there's a sense of. rage that happens inside me. same i i i could see it yeah. do like when we got into a fight outside. before the show started it was crazy. you screamed at me i did you know why. why because you belittled. belittled what i wanted in my life it's. belittling it you were believing. it's a belittling thing you'd be a. little bit you you did that to yourself. you belittled me after i went and got. you coffee cigarettes and red bull and i. said. after i went and got you coffee. cigarettes and red bull i had to. have you ever bought anything for me.

like that have you ever gone to the. store and bought me something that i. if i could text you and say bob would. you bring would you bring me ask you. would you bring me diet coke and coffee. i asked you to [ __ ]. bring me this because i'm not allowed to. go to 7-eleven. or or go anywhere whose problem is that. because if i went to 7-eleven with her. right to get cigarettes yeah right yeah. she would have told on me. stop being a snitch stop snitching. because then i have to do his dirty work. so i'm asking for a [ __ ] favor. please go and then include please and.

attack a show to fox yesterday is not. the same. as going to the border room of some. country club to get in. golf club it's a golf club. all right they're not the same thing but. it doesn't matter it's my priority in. your priority i respected yours you. respect mine all right so the next and. then i said. cancel i will move for something. ridiculous like oh. you know me i'm shaving my legs. today's leg shaving is in order and you. know what i would say. yeah if it's important to you i'm down. all right good but you have to film it.

no yeah the film your [ __ ] board. committee. club i will it's a club it's not a golf. club it's a country club no it's not a. country. that's what they call it no it's a men's. club it's not a it's not a country club. right. it's like saying is that a car no it's a. sedan it's still a [ __ ] car no not. true these are two separate things. country clubs are are for like families. this is just a golf club it's for golf. it's for men it's a men's club. it's a men's club there we go that's. even worse why. do women go to the korean spa that you. go to bob yes there's a woman. so yeah there's a women's viv place too.

so they they. can't go with you and all the rooms are. there no okay so shut up yeah. it's the same thing oh interesting can. you please say thank you. thank you for getting you coffee and. cigarettes and and red bull oh my god. it'll be my i will never because you. didn't say thank you. i will never say it why you didn't say. why. because you just said get me this stuff. and you didn't even say thank you i'll. tell you why. why because. the day i met you let me just finish.

without you interrupting. okay i'll put the mic away okay. there are just certain things when you. meet certain people. you know i believe in an afterlife i. believe that people that we have other. lives right and when i met you is almost. my soul. knew your soul and said you know what. i've known this guy before in past lives. and we're in. intricately entwined our destinies right. and there's almost a um a love.

that you can't describe or you can't. really even. look up in in a dictionary it really is. um. something that is under uh you there's. no words to you know. to describe it and um and when i met you. and i've done this with a lot of comics. where i i meet them and i go. you know what we've known each other. before so there's just. unsaid things you know and and so. when i ask you because i'm in trouble.

right and you do that for me i don't. really. find the need to thank you for it. because i would do the same. and um we're beyond that kind of. language i would thank you. i would absolutely thank you. it's a dick i'm not i refuse that's fine. yeah i refuse. um so tell me can you finish your. sebastian about his big house that you. love.

no no no no so i saw bill there with his. with his wife yeah and his baby the best. and i have a plate full of pizza. and i walked by i know they locked eyes. with me so i just kind of. i gotta go right so i sit there. and i go what's your baby's name uh oh. you know what i mean. and he says it and he goes huh how's the. company going. and he said hey man what are you doing. yeah what are you doing yeah that's what. he was said. yeah what are you doing i don't know man. i just get nervous.

he doesn't i don't know he goes i know. you're doing a great job on the podcast. thanks for being part of our company. that's nice yeah yeah that's very nice. yeah i get really nervous around him. uh him rogan i get nervous papa's yeah. the big poppy yeah yeah he called me the. other day he's uh. they're prepared to leave he's ready to. move yeah i know they move at the end of. the month. joe is joe's gone where to austin. yeah they're gone it's he's ready to. rock he called me last night we talked. for a while. and it was it was just wild it's wild. that he's gone he's leaving he's like uh.

he's ready to go a new chapter in his. life. you know there's uh cool three other. comics that called me. and they're selling their houses uh. uh let me guess paula powell stone i'm. not allowed. margaret show to say. but there's a bunch of guys leaving. people are gone people are leaving. because uh they don't like the stringent. you know rules they don't like l.a. anymore. i think that they don't like the liberal. vibes and um.

oh so there are they uh they're uh they. want their. you know they want more freedoms i'll. just say that. sure yeah i um one of them is like he he. was saying i want to move because of my. kids you know the school system and this. and that but i know what. his ideology is but i have heard that. that people. are because lausd is tough. yeah it's tough it's i mean you know. like i went to public school as a kid. you go to public school or do you go to. private school public.

and you know i don't think they were the. best in chicago but they were fine. yeah they were fine so i don't know if. it's like that up here anymore because. you went to public and st. i went to a public really good school. district um poway high i went to we've. talked about it before yeah you're in. the hall of fame. i'm not um but you know. it's probably the darkest time of my. life high school. public school yeah i have no good i have. a couple good memories but generally it. was a lot of like. dick sucking and drugs.

i'll just say that thank you for being. [Laughter]. yeah high school wasn't totally black. for you there was moments where it was. kind of nice right. well i went to three rehabs in high. school. cool yeah i um. didn't have a girlfriend um didn't make. love to anybody. um i tried to be friends with. the popular people but you didn't get. kicked out of school that's nice i did. but but that but then you got to.

graduate because every time i would go. get kicked out i would always go through. a rehab and then. you know through the rehab i would be. able to get back into school saying that. i'm sober but then i would relapse. it was like one of those things and um. but you know when i was 17 is when i got. sober. and it was my junior year in high school. and um. i think from junior year when i got. sober until i graduated. was pretty bright i guess because you. know my senior year i was completely.

sober. i was going to a meetings i was like. very active you feel so much better when. you're clean huh. i just i'm not good um in a drug run. because i go hard in a binge i go hard. dude right. i go hard and i'm blind to it all and i. don't give a [ __ ] what do you think my. drug would be if i was gonna if i was. gonna. get into drugs and slip away you're like. a whiskey guy i think. well that it does happen yeah that. happens to me sometimes you just have a. an alcohol temperament mm-hmm you know. so i don't see you as a meth guy.

no yeah i don't see you as a pothead. do you smoke pot i did for years and i. don't think i do anymore i've. talked about that did your wife smoke. pot no no no i mean i don't it's just. not. you i smoke pot for a long i smoked pot. for since i was 15. and for high school i smoked all the. time almost every day college i smoked. constantly. yeah then when i got out i just i would. smoke and. you know i go through phases yeah and. the past five years of my life. i smoke intermittently once in a great.

while. yeah and one day i had a bag of weed. the size of this room at my house. because of um. we have a friend who's in the comedy. world that owns a company. and i literally just called up my buddy. and i was like hey come over and pick up. this weed. i just don't even think i need it i. don't want it anymore yeah and then. since then. once in a while if i'm at a party and. someone has a joint i'll hit the joint. maybe yeah but no i don't i think booze. is my biggest crutch. yeah i i you know i don't i feel bad.

that i relapse for. after 17 years of sobriety but here's. what i do like. i always even when i when you know when. pot became legal. you know in california and dispensaries. opened up. i always in the back of my head went. what is that like. to go to a responsibility because you. know when i was a kid you know i mean i. would have to. like search for days yes you're so. annoying when you were a kid. yeah and you're in the suburbs you would. it would take days to get weed. yeah and it was also well i mean you.

would get this like. mud dirt you get you get brick weed you. get shitty. mexican seeds brickweed yeah but so i. was wondering what that was like so. you know going into the dispensary and. going to the expensive. you mean wild oh my god like the premium. [ __ ] premium [ __ ] i think i think being. a pothead now. is much cooler than it was when i was. young and then just. imagine never having anything. for 17 years and taking that first hit.

jesus. i mean it was crazy you had to disappear. for a little while i remember like i got. high in hawaii because i was shooting. magnum pi. and i took me from my hotel room. to the restaurant there was this 24. pancake house by my. right it took me like an hour to get. there. and it it's two minutes away. just like getting up and yeah because i. hadn't been high in. almost 20 years and right and you're. just.

you know it just took me forever it's. heavy. it's heavy and i was laughing the whole. time yeah. hey let me let's explain to go to your. country club stop at. uh golf club let me explain what's going. on real fast. um so we have a poster here that you can. see behind us. uh look thank you to the fans that. wanted the shirts on the back of rudy's. chair or the shirts there um we had over. 2 500 emails entries to get the shirts. right. so we had a computer algorithm print out. uh a random assortment of names that.

made it up to this level right that was. the only way to do it so there's about. 200 and something name i don't even know. who's up how many names are up there and. it's a target. um and who's on the target jules. george george is and now george in this. in this picture is what jules what is he. there. he's holding a gun but what would you. assume he would be then he's a. a target a target yes he's a target he's. because he's a bad guy right. so i figured the best way to do it bob. to get the shirts out to a fans.

would be to have jules shoot at the. target what do you think i love it i. think that's good. i'm gonna not be in the room no no we no. we have to be in the room but. leaving the back we'll be behind her. yeah cause i'm not gonna be here all. right so do you want to shoot this now. well let's do it while we're here. while you and i sit here yeah you want. her to shoo shoot between us. yeah wait on his head anywhere in the. anywhere in the board. just talk just aim at him are you brave. enough you want to do it i mean yeah are. you gonna. are you gonna you're not gonna kill us. are you no [ __ ] what if she hits one of. us.

jules do you really think you can hit. this without hurting us yeah. okay she you have to shoot it twice okay. twice because uh we have to have to have. two names. all right yeah and then. i know okay uh close that or could you. come inside if you want i don't know it. doesn't matter i just need to protect my. face because i think she's going to. shoot me in the face. okay jules come here get this gun and. you're going to stand all right so the. safety's off so be careful. okay the safety is all you all you have. to do is point forward and shoot it back.

up. a little bit let's get you backed up. till there if you shoot me you're. going to kick your other let me close my. computer because i don't want to um wait. okay so hold on hold on bob. uh okay so it's going to bounce you know. that it's going to go behind it's going. to bounce and it might hit one of us. anyway. so are we good to go on that end all. right i just want to protect my face. because i don't want. i don't want to get hit in the face all. right you ready jules yeah yeah. all right shoot shoot once take a break. and then shoot again but i want you to. say because george i want you to go. die george and then die george twice is.

that cool. die george die george twice all right so. uh are you ready andres. when you're ready jules go ahead die. george. again die george. did i get it there's nothing there what. do you mean where did. where'd it go here let me see the gun. there's nothing in there just air came. out let me see let me see no here you're. fine you're fine. the the clip was you you hit this you. can't this hits the clip out. don't don't put your hand on that the. clip will fall out there if you go like.

that. so don't put your hand don't put your. thumb there okay. oh my god all right holy [ __ ] all right. back up. all right here we go you ready okay go. ahead die george. died okay where did we hit. where did we hit nothing how to the club. let me see let me see. yeah it there there's there's bullets in. there but i.

saw something. how is there no holes in this let me try. to i'm going to shoot it i'm going to. shoot it just to see where it goes. over there ready close your eyes close. your eyes. yeah the bullet just came out you heard. it bounced it never came out with her. all right come on try it again. it never came out with her all right do. it try it again it never came out with. her all right come on here we go. all right try it again go ahead die. george and do it die george.

oh yeah yeah aim die george. did you hit it no. it didn't go do it again do it again go. closer. get closer get closer there you go go. ahead there we go. george hi george. that one hit my head it's not hitting. hitting what do you mean. no it can't bounce no way let me see let.

me try it hold on let me try. yeah what close your eyes. yeah that one went through taylor. abilene you see it. taylor abilene all right oh so there is. two. higgins all right so we have our two. trey higgins and taylor. abilene are they get the shirt yeah yeah. all right so now i want you to just. um here's what i want you to do now just. keep shooting it just rapid fire at it. pop up.

because we have the two names now now. just keep shooting at dye george baba. over and over just kill him go ahead. keep going. all right good yay. very good rudy come here come back. behind here. go behind bob you can you want to shoot. him. i think we need some more bullets yeah. hold on i need i need to get some more.

bullets. uh uh here well here i'll get here come. here go behind him and stand behind here. and hold the gun so we can sign off. hold the gun hold the gun like this like. you're i'll put the safety back on. you know like this like you're like. you're hardcore there you go. yeah all right here we go and i want you. to say it me and bob will just. uh watch you say it proudly ready as. loud as you can. thank you for being a bad friend yeah.

okay perfect.