Bobby Fires George | Ep 62 | Bad Friends

you two are bad friends who are these. two idiots. white dude and an asian dude. you two are disgusting. well you two or something we're bad. friends. if andres was a pastry would he be. if andres was a pastry he'd be a danish. a danish. no question is very delicate and. beautiful he'd be a danish oh by the way. a cheese danish yeah yeah mozzarella uh. pete pete of course would be he would i. know what it would be a hard muffin an. old muffin i think more of an english.

pudding a bread pudding like a bread. pudding yeah he'd be bread about me if i. was a [ __ ] pastry if you were a. pastry yeah you would be. uh. picking a blanket. so perfect you would literally be a pig. in a blanket you would absolutely be a. hot dog wrapped in a croissant that's. literally because the outside looks. looks burnt toast. i'm that's not a pastry yeah yeah i know. that's why you're not even in the. [ __ ] you know i mean when you go to a. pastry shop you're not even in the. [ __ ] glass i'm a cranberry muffin no. i'm a cran orange muffin you're in the.

[ __ ] garbage pan in the [ __ ] back. why because you're just a bird it's like. they they burn. all right toss them all right well. you're still picking a blanket you're. fat and unhealthy and disgusting but. everybody kind of likes you. that's a pig in a blanket. you're fat and unhealthy and disgusting. and bad for people but un unreasonably. so we still like you that's why you're a. pig in a blanket and rudy. and rudy rudy has some sort of weird. fruit in it yeah it's like a passion. fruit or it's like it's like a kumquat. uh like a lychee you know a lychee uh a.

lychee donut a lychee donut yeah yeah. yeah yeah you're like a persimmon you're. like a persimmon a weird fruit for no. reason you're a persimmon. uh. look at that face. what do you what are you auditioning for. apocalypto. yeah what are you i can see you're an. apocalypto can't you what do you think. you are rude. um a cookie. what kind of cookie yeah. just the chocolate chip cookie no no no. no you're not trying to get your [ __ ].

mind you're freaking out. no i you're not white. you're a macadamia nut brown. what a mean guy i pulled my back golf i. know. oh that's so dumb no it wasn't golfing. sorry you just said it well i was. golfing all day. and then afterwards i was blowing one of. the guys that i golfed with and i pulled. my when i came up i just threw out my. back it hurts so much it's hilarious.

that was golfing man so you swank so you. swing it wasn't even on my swing i was. walking i was grabbing a club to bend. down and i just popped something. wow are you being real i wasn't i didn't. stretch. but does it hurt right now oh yeah yeah. oh yeah so i could [ __ ] with you yeah i. mean i mean physically no you couldn't. even on my worst day i'm stronger than. you it's unbelievable that's how weak. you are as a human being on my worst off. day yeah i'm still remarkably stronger. than you. i'm strong for my size no you're not it. went weight class no you're not yeah.

think about it guys let's think about. types yeah okay yeah so in this building. my type dumpling is andreas no oh you. mean your weight class weight class and. we will be pitted against each other. andres how tall are you. i'm five ten five ten you're four or. seven no five five by four okay you're. five four it doesn't matter because it's. like you know sometimes like jon jones. right in the ufc yeah he was taller and. you know i mean and slimmer right.

skinnier legs right than some of his. opponents okay so so like andreas is. might be taller yeah but we're the same. weight class how much you wage raise. a hundred and seventy pounds yeah that's. what that's me ua 172 170 175 all right. uh and then i would destroy him i would. break his [ __ ] chain no way. no i would shatter every boat in your. face dude he's a kid he's still bone. he's spanish they're crazy dude i'm. korean bro what have you got so much.

[ __ ] wage what. what do you mean what what do you have. rage about all right name me once. spanish yeah maybe one spanish ufc. fighter. uh. exactly uh. korean zombies enrique ruiz korean. zombie. the korean zombie yeah okay one super. boy. he's very talented okay yeah so you. think give me one spanish uh uh sergio. garcia no there is no sergio garcia yes. there is there isn't um enrique valdez.

there's a lot of redheads though huh. yeah paul felder i think it's anyway and. corey we talked about last week so you. would be against drace and you think. you'd beat him and then pete i'd go. against pete but you know why i couldn't. beat pete because pete's got go ahead. and say it the syndrome he's got what. strength. well he's got uh he's got somebody's. strength he goes you know he's got. h. rs. i don't think it's hidden yeah he's got. it. pete lopes around here loaf is the word. pete lopes around here he reminds me of.

my friend brady i've talked to about. brady who like you know what i mean yeah. yeah yeah yeah pick up the pole yeah. pull out of the ground so and then who. would she fight. she would get the winner of you and and. well with people that we know probably. uh. esther pavinsky oh what a good fight. that's a great fight what a great fight. i would go with jules. i don't know no jules i i want to say. jewels but no weapons. do you know have you ever gotten to a. fist fight jules. no have you ever been any sort of fight. with another girl like when you were. younger did you get into like a slapping.

fight no. nothing nothing see what i mean. i'm too wait did you get in fights in. high school. mostly when i was younger than high. school high school was a few. yeah there was this jewish kid. who lived up the street from me can we. even say that. all right so there was this jewish human. right that's good okay there was this. jewish. and um. [Music]. i used to bully the [ __ ] out of him like. i like on the bus like he'd be eating.

like you know like a little breakfast. sandwich that his mom made and i would. just go and hit it out of his hand what. yeah why would you do that and then he. would go what the [ __ ] and we would go. ahaha [ __ ] you oh whatever you don't. mean yeah like i was so mean to him yeah. like i would just like you know hit him. in the back of the head just in the. hallway. it's very it's terrible yeah. and so the one day um and my brother. was um. friends with his little brother. right and my brother would at nights go. bob. yeah can you not pick on you know my my.

friend oliver's brother yeah and i go. nah. so one day i was on the this is so. embarrassing so one day it's one day i. was on the school bus. and i hit him on the head this kid right. yeah and he goes that's it. like a what what's it. after school there was a there was like. a field right by between our houses. it was like this empty field right. he goes meet us meet me at that field. you mean at 4 30 and we're going to duke.

it out. and then i don't know he must be a. promoter or something but everyone the. school was there right after it worked. right right it was like a circle. right. and i got i go i'm there right i think i. took my shirt off. what i don't know why but if i shut it. off. i go what's up matt next thing i know. i'm on the floor yeah what he punched me. so hard i'm on the floor. and i'm like winded too right and i get. up and i just start do you know just.

start swinging haymakers haymakers right. yeah nowhere near him right it's just a. straight in my. right just to scrape my head like i pop. back i fall on the ground again and now. i'm like bleeding right and my brother. now he was in the front of the circle. right now he's somewhere like in the. back yeah like just go just. contemplating his life right. and i go god time out i think i time off. you can't time out a fight. come on come on hey man it.

a car. right my mom had a red like red like. sports car. my mom is on the dirt. on the field coming again coming to get. me. right she goes get in right i'm bleeding. it rain and all the kids are laughing at. me yeah like. i get in the car and i never bullied. anyone again that's what you get i know. i deserve it you definitely guess like.

that's like if like it can encapsulate. my life that's it that's it right you're. the bully that can't really [ __ ] yeah i. talk i talk [ __ ] right and i i you know. i talk a big game right but when it. comes down to it. i'm a bastard i i get destroyed right. i'm meat well but but also then why do. you think you were allowed to talk [ __ ]. it's fun what do you think about that. kid made you pick on him for real did. other people pick on him and you think. because he played the trombone. oh yeah yeah he he always had a trombone.

hey you got to pick on that right right. he had a trombone and it had nothing to. do with that he was just i didn't even. know what the jewish meant right it. wasn't i never saw those lists before. that or whatever. yeah it wasn't no it's not because he. was jewish because i was like in. sixth grade you didn't even know that i. don't know you know i know anything. about it you know i mean right and then. later you know in high school i think i. saw like in history class some films. about holocaust and i think i walked up. to him and i said hey man sorry about. you know for four years ago when you. beat the [ __ ] out of me in that field.

yeah you were sorry for him beating the. [ __ ] out of him yeah yeah no problem man. how did your mom know did your brother. go scram kid i'm like oh sorry. [Laughter]. what did your brother snitch how did. your mom find out. no she was just happened to be driving. down she looked and she saw me getting. my ass [ __ ] walloped just getting my. head walloped yeah do people get in. fights in height in the philippines in. school did you see a lot of fights a lot. in my public school. yeah and they would use like pencils. and then they would smart dab.

what yeah that's smart that's smart. did you ever see girls fight or was. there only boys that fought i also saw. girls and then they would just rip their. skirt off their shirt and then yeah. i was scared no comment i got beat up by. a guy named david koch. koch yeah yeah so i took karate. taekwondo yeah. and i took it for like two weeks. i'm not kidding yeah yeah you thought. you were a black belt and i thought i. knew everything i needed noticed i just. stopped going i'm good and the only. thing that in the beginning they teach. you is the bow yeah right and then block.

so i had this like old korean like. taekwondo teacher. it was in this mini mall. you know what i mean. you go broke right and i'm like black. you know broke. black and that that's all i took. and i remember david koch and i got a. fight yeah. and he kicked me in the nut sack. i was falling backwards. block. and i ended up like. like this on the ground.

you know i mean i was thinking i should. have taken more classes you're nuts i've. never worn i've never won a fight ever. but i was a good wrestler i was. undefeated well that's the thing with. fights you should have just gone to the. ground with them. that was later in high school i started. wrestling and i started you know my. brother and i are very good at wrestling. the worst i ever the worst i ever had. was in college me and my buddy colin and. my buddy travis and a bunch of idiots we. were drunk and we were in an apartment. complex and notorious this arch stone. notorious like. bro bro [ __ ] it up oh what's up dude. everyone wanted arizona arizona is just.

like san diego wait you went to college. in arizona arizona state. what you in um phoenix yeah we've talked. about this before because my brother. went there we've talked about this. before i forget yeah that's fine okay uh. i don't memorize you lived in tempe yeah. did you really yes of course that's. where he went to college but it was all. bros it's all sa by the way arizona. state is all bros from southern. california that can't get into. california schools right yeah and they. want the cheaper route so they go to. arizona that's literally what it is so. uh it's all like oh well flick in oh.

[ __ ] lifted that's all it is out. there and we're in a parking lot and a. dude backs up his car and he almost hits. somebody that we're with now my memory. is foggy about it in terms of why that. started but then somebody hit the trunk. of the car like hey what the [ __ ] yeah. and this guy gets out and he's running. his mouth and there's like four or five. of us and there's one of him and he's. like oh you [ __ ] [ __ ]. all this stuff and then i'm thinking not. much of it because they're kind of. chirping everyone's chirping and he goes. inside and comes out with a team a.

[ __ ] superhero squad of big adult. black men and i was like oh what the. [ __ ] is this yeah yeah the football team. comes outside and is then it's then at. this point it's over we're we have to. [ __ ] they're gonna fight you're gonna. fight we had to you didn't have to yeah. we did why where were we gonna go. the other way we're on their turf it's. over all right so my buddy colin is the. first because he's the one that's. talking to the guy i think he's. defending this girl that they almost hit. and they start going at it and right. away i turn around and i'm just like.

and i'm just met with one right in my. face and then i'm swinging like a like. this like a loser just getting punched. by three people not hitting anybody yeah. and i go down to the ground and when i. kind of come too because i must have. gotten knocked out yeah i had been. kicked like in the back of the neck. shoulder or whatever my buddy travis was. getting work too and when we got up we. had to walk back home because we had. walked to this party. so [ __ ] up and sad and these guys got. to go back in and drink with some of the. people that were around us oh wow yeah. we got the [ __ ] beat out of this now.

working the next day where you soaring. stuff. dude after a fight everyone who's ever. what year is this by the way my freshman. or sophomore year college so what year. is that. 2000 and uh two or three. it's so weird because. i was still i was doing the tempi improv. then so yeah we could open one of your. shows i should know i could i was. probably in the same town with you at. some point you could have helped no yeah. really you could have helped me out yeah. but i but i'll never forget the first. that wasn't the first bad fight i ever.

lost in but any fight i've ever been in. you feel like you got hit. in a car accident for a couple of days. everything is stiff and it really hurts. and it just doesn't make sense and. you're like i didn't even get punched. here why is my [ __ ] neck so sore i. mean everything hurts yeah every i i. never after after stupid fights as a kid. i never wanted to do it ever again yeah. because you you feel bad even when you. win. there's a guilt there too well you lose. you lose you always lose there's no. winning we need to get jules into a fist. fight with somebody yeah.

let's start a beef with her and ask her. i think. you should tell esther that she's been. talking [ __ ] right. that she wants to replace esther on my. girlfriend's podcast right because she. thinks that she's stronger than her and. she thinks she can do it right. look at her face i'm going to tell. esther yeah. she still says something that you're. shaped like a marshmallow no esther's. too kind no i'm going to say that to her. no we're going to say you said that. yeah yeah. by the way um the amount of people that. got upset about us even mentioning the. idea of rudy getting replaced is insane.

it's just absurd so it's not going to. happen i guess yeah you're not going to. uc davis. you're we're going to choose your. college. okay we're choosing your college imagine. me and you being counselors. oh my gosh just go somewhere close yeah. well if i was her actual dad she'd. listen to me i'd probably go don't even. go to college me too. right what yeah yeah. what is the point i don't know what do. you want to do. i don't know yet what do you think you'd. like to do i want to be a vet.

a veterinarian yeah so go to. veterinarian school you don't need to go. to college for that. but you're the first one to make it out. of the philippines and get a college. degree huh yeah i guess i mean that's. important well i mean you know she's out. here for that that's the goal and it's. like but she goes to a fancy school now. yeah and she's out here to get her. education i get it but veterinary school. is good she gets straight a's i know if. you can get into uc school might as well. just go yeah you should you should go. whatever makes you happy.

but i think nothing does so but i have. to say this though i'm telling you right. now and i'm not [ __ ] around here. you. have to pick. your boyfriends wisely yeah that's a big. thing for us for us because you're going. to bring your boyfriends because i don't. want you know i mean i don't want to be. doing bad friends five years from now. and then. she brought antonio yeah or whatever. yeah some doofus why would i bring my. boyfriend because it's a requirement we. need to meet him and he needs to come to.

the studio yeah we got to rip them apart. yeah what look at antonio's eyebrows or. whatever is that you know what i mean. he's like hey what's wrong with my. eyebrows. yeah done you're sexy. oh yeah see that's cause he wants. another spaniard in here to help him out. if by the way whoever you start dating. you do have to bring them by here that's. just a rule yeah. you don't like that rule do you no well. too bad. what is this. this is us a son a fan wrote for you. guys let's hear it. anyway um what uh i'm gay.

i'm gay. all right. bobby. it's okay to be gay tons of people come. out of the closet each day. andrew. this may be a surprise but you're just. as gay as bobby i can see it in your. eyes. come to your senses and ask each other. out you'll be such a great couple i have.

no doubts you are gay. you are gay. and that's okay. you're gay. you are gay okay. don't worry. we still love you. thanks for being a buy friend. is that you rudy. that sounded like her. you know what. we should go on a date. you and i yeah.

why don't we go on a date we'll film it. why don't we go on a real date. i'm dead seriously it's so gross dude. would you go on a date with me for you. please. but take it serious all right. but i'm serious like take it for real. like dress up look nice all right let's. do your makeup do your hair. no i wanna we're at a restaurant i want. to go to a real date no we will but. let's just. so let's how does it work i pick you up. well then rudy i pick you up. no i'm the i am the guy.

you pick me up i pick you up will you. pick me up on time. you won't be ready so i'll be late. you know me well i know very good yeah. that gets me around a little bit because. we have a connection there so you know. rudy you're our server okay all right no. wait for you pick me up first you're at. the restaurant yet all right sorry. yeah. what's up man. you know walk out the door and say hi. and walk down the steps.

there he is close the door yeah right. hi hi bob. get in. andy. get in. oh are you gonna open the. oh my god i'm sorry. [Laughter]. i opened the door and then. thank you. yeah yeah. and then we would have to mom we would. have to talk about something that's a. little uncomfortable no i would probably. look nice tonight i go do you no. you with this all right you would. you would open with that you look so. intimate you look nice tonight.

thank you. you know it's funny i um i would say. something nervous because right so i'll. go yeah because um you know i i just. joined amazon you know i figured out how. to get amazon stuff and i got these new. men's soap oh yeah yeah yeah so i got a. collection in a box like and one of. them's like patchouli but one of the. this charcoal one yeah and so like and. you know i i saved the charcoal one you. know for a special occasion yeah you. smell good. thank you for noticing let's go you. ready to go get some food.

where are we gonna go it's a surprise. okay. and then we would have another awkward. thing where i'd go we'd speak at the. same time like a bad movie you know yeah. so. oh oh okay. go ahead go ahead oh you you oh you got. it or oh. are your tags up to date no i think.

everything is okay oh uh hi officer how. can i help you. why were you speeding up oh gosh i. didn't i didn't think i was speeding. yeah we were going over 60. oh was i what's the speed limit here. 55. and you just. interrupt please so you thought that. five miles per hour was a little too. much for you to handle. and you pulled us over yes well wow okay. well let me do this i'm on a date you're.

gonna give us a ticket though not yet. i'm on a date. i'm on a date as you can see. yeah yeah yeah where are you going well. it's a surprise it's a surprise it's. yeah i've known him for years and then. we just we just started we realized we. just wanted to try it out yeah yeah. that's really sweet so do you think we. could be on our way. okay okay i can let you go thank you. officer appreciate it have a good night. [Music].

you guys honestly um with you know i. travel right constantly so i was in. hawaii three times during the pandemic. and um. and you know at the hotel the food was. terrible. all i did was and i'm telling all these. other delivery services are not as good. as door dash i'm going to tell you i'm. going to be honest with you okay. um. my orders right i'll show you what i've. ordered okay. i've ordered so many damn things from.

um breakfast burritos to morton. steakhouse to seoul dong i don't know. what that was murakami udon old. spaghetti factory i mean i. use this app all my personal life all. the time i love it i order pizza from it. all the time i get sometimes i get uh. stuff from uh cvs and stuff like that to. pick up little knickknacks and. toothpaste if i don't want i mean you. want chinese if you want pizza you want. crea if you're craving froyo there's. something for everyone on door. everyone's outdoor dad store dash. connects you with the restaurants you. love right now and right to your front.

door yeah ordering is easy open the door. dash app choose what you want from. wherever you want your items will be. left safely outside your door where the. contact is delivery. over 300 000 partners in the u.s puerto. rico canada and australia and you can. support your neighborhood go-to's. exactly or choose from your favorite. national restaurants like popeyes. chipotle or cheesecake factory. call to action for a limited time our. listeners can get 25 off and zero. delivery fees on their first order of 15. or more when you download the doordash. app and enter the code badfriends2021.

that's 25 off up to a 10 value and zero. delivery fees on your first order when. you download the doordash app in the app. store and enter the code badfriends2021. don't forget that's code badfriends2021. for 25 off your first order with. doordash subject to change terms apply. hello. oh my god you know what you know i i. never knew this but i i didn't know that. i had a very dirty butthole you do. i did not anymore i did right anymore.

and i'm going to tell you something. right now if you're walking around. society with a dirty butthole you may. not think you do but you do you do and. if but you have to get hello tushy you. must because we got it here we have it. at the house i install it myself yeah. right it's so easy to use it's so. affordable and what it is it's one of. the best but affordable bidets out there. yeah the brand new hello tushy 3.0. modern bidet attachment is here to level. up the playing field for you it's. stylish it's very compact it's easy to. install like bob said it's a joke if you. don't have one on your toilet those. those fancy bidets that you see that are.

thousands of dollars or whatever this is. not that think of the trees think of the. trees right right because you know when. we're when you use toilet paper. a tree dies a lot of trees die so many. trees tonight right and i don't kill. trees no more i'll be killing no trees. baby right i just use water that's right. hello tushy bidet attachment comes with. a 60-day risk-free guarantee and a. 12-month warranty if you already have. one upgrade to 3.0 model if you're new. to the revolution join millions of happy. hello tushy customers right now and have. a clean butt like bob with every single.

flush go to hellotushy.com. bad friends to get ten percent off plus. free shipping. hellotushy.com bad friends. yeah did you. sorry sorry. what were your names. [Laughter].

what's your badge number what is your. badge number one yeah we can really. report it. we're gonna report you like. people saying. officer dominguez write that down right. what's your number six six seven four. three write that down.

we'll be on your our way thank you so. much. i'm andrew and that's bobby we are. offended yeah we're fine we're out of. here. i support gay people for. no well why do you need our name what do. you learn names. i like to keep it on my house. so you pull over gay people you get. their names you just kind of like you. know write it on the walls of your house. yes wow okay how can we get it now well. we'll be on our way have a good night. thank you bye-bye please do okay let's.

just go. what was that about that's crazy i mean. and it's like it's. you know. i just smelled um a perfume that i. really wanted to buy in the store where. you oh. thank you oh so it's like um.

well it's just it's um. it's men's nature it's a scope that's. the company right and if you go to. amazon right it comes in six pack and. one of them is charcoal and that's what. i've been using it's not really a. perfume it's a soap but it's a scented. soap yeah yeah so yeah we really are. late for our reservations we've got to. go let me ask you something right now. officer dominguez because i have a. feeling that you might want to pull us. over again so so so we get everything. out now right all the things that you. want to ask me now please because we're.

really late for a reservation um do you. have any um. hairstyle that you would say hairstyle. well i like the roman cut. i like the roman cut and i also like uh. when they shave the sides what do they. call it when they shave the sides no for. me oh i said i'm sorry um your hair. looks great okay. um we don't know. you at all what would your tattoo be.

um i lost my dog so i wanted oh so you. lost his dog. so you want to tattoo your dog yeah. officer dominguez. i'm going to throw this out there this. is crazy but do you want to just come. with us to dinner. sure wonder i should just park your car. start your comfort zone no i don't want. to interrupt your first date no it's. funny. you already have three then you're gonna. um pull us over again so right okay do. you promise not to pull us over again i. promise you okay okay so you're not. coming with us. and so you've asked every question that.

you want you're not going to pull over. server again yes okay thank you have a. good night have a good night offers are. doing against your time. all right all right let's go please. crazy i've never finally we're here at. the restaurant yeah my god so what do. you think about have you ever seen this. place oh luigi's luigi's yeah yeah. delicious yeah and is it based on the. mario brothers well the iron is it's. luigi's but it's actually argentinian. food wow yeah have you ever had it not. really no it's breaded breaded chicken.

it's steaks a lot of steaks and chim. cherry sauce and stuff like that you're. gonna love it okay good you're gonna. love it uh oh there's the host down. there there's the host uh let's hello. sir hello hello welcome to luigi's. thank you thank you uh i guess there's a. reservation under the name of santino. it's actually what it's santinely. because i thought we would that's cute. that's really cute yeah. is there a santeenly here for 8 30. uh. um no i'm sorry what the [ __ ] wait i i. called in did you call it i made it on.

open table i put it on open table and i. also called and made sure that you guys. still had the table on the terrace that. i requested. um i don't see it here maybe you guys. can take it to go. hold on one second. first of all i'm sorry um it's. understandingly but this is andrew. santino and my name is bobby lee and. maybe you know who we are medians that. we have a podcast called bad friends. it's pretty popular. oh i thought that was with uh tom segura. and bear crystal um okay embarrassing.

what's your name sir yeah beat. man do you not sound like a p. but pablo oh. you're the rapper petey pablo yeah yes. well listen here pete pablo. um. i have a weird feeling and you can say. i'm wrong but are you not giving us our. table because. we're two guys on a date. yeah it looks a little bad for our. clientele. that's disgusting well that's disgusting.

you know we don't want to eat at a place. like luigi's. you know because this is. [Laughter]. i'm not talking to you i'm talking to. pete pablo oh. wow. oh no oh that makes sense the the the.

gay collection of collections. yeah wow. he's refusing a table because we're on a. date yes. pete. no i love gays. [Laughter]. you have to let them in. pete let them in let us have a table. pete would that be okay yeah pete okay. all right thank you thank you. thank you officer dominguez we really. appreciate it um. can i sit with you.

honestly. we might as well we have to at this we. might as well at this point after this. yes so okay come sit with us oh let's. put up a chair let me take out let me. pull your chair thank you no problem and. dominguez i'll do this for you as well. just because we're here uh there's our. server hi uh hey hi hello. oh so you oh you do hope so one man. shop do you cook as well i do. oh. okay are you argentinian i am. well wow so do you have any specials.

chimichurri steak cherry steak that's. all you've got that's it can we get a. menu chimichurri steak that's all they. serve that's all they serve. well do you guys want to put in a drink. order or something like that do you want. something to drink to me guess i want. a lemonade a lemonade yeah. because you only have chimichurri steak. here so. what are the options it doesn't seem. like you would have lemonade. we have wine wine and water and water. okay with lemon we can put it lemon you. can put lemon in the water yep or the.

wine would you like water. lemon water. yeah will that suffice. um i don't drink i don't drink so i'll. have just i guess a water okay i don't. really want wine i i'll just have some. water as well are you sure there's. nothing there's like nothing else back. there. we have uh energy drinks oh oh well i'll. have an energy drink. what brand we have red bulls perfect. perfect i'll have you have a sugar free. bull no only with sugar okay i'll have a. regular red ball fine we'll take we'll.

take those yeah thank you so much what a. weird rust frog i mean honestly just. chim chimes wine yeah chimichurri steak. red. red bull. and water and water that's it that's it. i don't know how this is in business. so dominguez uh oh yeah sir and we'll. just take three stakes obviously because. we [ __ ] can't choose anything because. can we can we um medium. okay do we have an option. can we do medium no yes medium that's. the only thing you do yeah i like medium. rare if that's possible no that's not.

they only have medium you can just. undercook it a little bit and they only. have media this chef doesn't like. suggestions so yeah yeah. okay so i guess we'll have three medium. cherry steaks. i'll have a red bull you want a red bull. three red bulls or water lemon water. water's all around yeah but no lemon for. mine no lemon for his please yeah no ice. in mine please if you could yeah. uh did you get all that. let me write it down why don't you do. you you can't memorize that can you. repeat it back to us we make sure you. have the order memorize that.

i think you guys wanted this thing right. yes of course that's precisely what we. wanted. okay three three red bulls. yes please. and two waters. one with ice the other one would live on. yes please got it. thank you. yeah sir how are the steaks cooked. immediately. right that's it okay great.

oh wow dominguez how's the night been. going for you. really tough i just um. caught a couple of gays on the way. caught two lesbians. where did you catch them what were they. doing what were they doing uh they were. speeding up. like the way the way we were speeding up. five miles per hour faster than the. speed limit yes okay so you caught them. and what was their their infraction was. serious enough for you to pull them over.

i was gonna let them go but they were. really angry at me. really oh [ __ ] they were mad because you. pulled them over so how many times did. you pull them over. how many times did you pull them over. five times that's why they were angry. yes but i had many questions about that. okay. all right okay did you do did you pull. over anybody else did you let them go. did you let them go did you let them go. yeah okay good i did what were their. names what were their names because you. collect names like names oh yeah their. names were jessica and olivia oh.

do we know them yeah just good and. olivia yeah we know them they live over. on 18th oh so that's good did you have. any other trouble tonight. i also met um please tell them i love. old people did you tell me were they i'm. assuming that they were gay. the one one one. one was. bisexual. and then the other was trans oh. okay what's the.

were they together or. i didn't i don't know because they were. talking really slow so i just left them. oh cause they're old yeah yeah how old. are we talking yeah. 85 85 85. 885 trans. right guy and a buy guy okay i don't. even know how you would get that. information did you ask him those yes oh. i see officer dominguez correct me if. i'm wrong. it seems like most of the people you. pull over. and give offenses to are.

gay or in the lgbtq community i'm just. interested in that right i know but you. could like look up online or like ask a. friend why do you have to pull us over. officer jimmy let me ask you a question. are you bi or gay no i'm straight okay. well that's a defensive yeah really. jump down my partner's throat there. well so so why are you so interested. i just like their personalities just the. same as yours okay that's very sweet can. i ask you another question please please.

we're here we're here waiting for our. steaks when did you two first met. well well we first met we've known each. other for a while over a decade. comedians over a decade ago all. comedians yeah and we met at the company. oh god. i like bert crusher and tom segura yes. we know them and we know them have you. ever pulled them over no because you. know they're no they have families. oh i see.

i you know i'm seeing i i'm seeing a. pattern officer. obviously it's becoming a little. apparent yeah can you please you know. what uh you're very you're very you're. offending me why because well you know. you know why and you know we need you to. um leave please we don't want you i wish. you to leave the restaurant yeah but i. let you in this restaurant yeah but i. think it's just for your own benefit. yeah you're doing that for yourself oh. here are the here's the service. there's pete here's pete. thank you you only have one i thought.

you said. okay there's only one okay thank you uh. mine's supposed to be room temp. thanks thank you pete pete i i'm good i. have my wallet. okay. thank you should i just leave the water. is already here. uh i guess you could finish your water. yeah she can stay i guess yeah that's. fine fine excuse me pete yeah how much. longer on the steak because medium i. feel like might be done pretty close to. now also do we get any sides yeah we. didn't even ask for sides there's. nothing here you guys can get fries or.

salad well that could have been an. option in the beginning. it's so rude can we pick a dressing or. no is there a dressing olive oil and. vinegar that's it that's all you've got. i got that okay so and is there it's. just. let me guess it's just lettuce and. that's it and chimp cherry sauce that's. what i'm thinking a little bit of tomato.

too a little bit of tomato okay thank. you can we have some of those we'll have. some salads please while we're waiting. you don't have soup this is such a steak. soup salad yeah you know andrew this is. a terrible plate have you eaten it. before no no i read one yelp review. i i did the yelp review that was you. you read. no. and i should you know what you oh and. you know what it said on there i should. have known what it's at a great place. for gays. yeah and that was a trap it was a trap. and that's why you were like gays i'm. thinking about.

you know 100 a great place for gays is. what it said and i just thought five. stars this has got to be the spot it was. only yelp review yeah. you know andrew let's [ __ ] forget dinner. let's just [ __ ] let's go. right here at luigi yeah yeah. wow so that was uh. let me just say something about your. improv skills amazing very good the. callback was so good so two callbacks. really bomb. and can i tell you uh that restaurant is. a lot better i know we got bad service.

at it but it is pretty good i think we. should go back at some point okay would. you seriously go on a date with me. dude you're acting weird no in real life. would you do it no why because it's. don't how fun would that be. you and i go on a date you film it. though yes of course. if we film it yes yes and we go on a. date and we film it where you will you. wear a dress. please yeah i'll wear a suit. i'll wear makeup the whole thing will. you get your hair done yeah i'll do it. can we get your hair professionally i. got a pro i'll get a perm for real yeah.

this is phenomenal i'm not shaving my. mustache though. why would i want you to shave that i. like you the way you are thank you. so we're the makeup yeah wear a dress. and you'll get your hair done by we're. going to get like a good hair stylist. yes we'll get a fill. we're filming it and we're going we'll. go to like nobu. nobo where are we going to go. like somewhere really nice no. no. nope. i don't i don't want to go anywhere. where i want to know anybody. well more people would probably know us. at a at a not nice place than a very no.

i don't think i think if you and i went. to a red lobster or a sizzler yeah i. think we're safe like an outback and. we're not going to go anywhere near the. city. we have to go like out to encino we're. going to riverside riverside i'll go to. riverside with you yeah i'll wear the. makeup i don't know we can't say that. now some a fan will go we're going to go. somewhere somewhere yeah somewhere else. boston or whatever right. you're going to pick us up she's no no. she's the driver i want her to drive us. yeah you're driving us. right yeah and when i go on it.

then you and i are going to sit in this. back seat together how cute. [ __ ] man please no for me all right. thank you all right. are you down for this this is fun right. yeah you know you brought up segura and. the other guy a lot. you you got to be honest with me you. really had more fun with those guys than. you did with us no. you love us yes but i i do believe this. so she liked it so that's just so much. fun i do believe. and she's going to deny it all she wants. right.

which is like her thing yeah. i believe. and i'll bet my life on it. that she likes. tom and bert more than she likes you. what. why'd you do that why are you doing that. her just to hurt my feelings no no i. believe it i mean it's probably not true. but that's just the thing that i have. i've been so nice i've been so loving. and nice i'm like this i'm like.

[Laughter]. [Music]. why are you doing that to her. i just wanted to see what would happen. and there was the i like it look at this. i know i looked that you got mad at you. i like that mad yeah. oh my god this. this. service yeah has. relieved so much stress for me dude well. listen a lot of people acquired a lot of. uh credit card debts uh over the pandy.

and i know bobo did you put a lot of. stuff on credit i just want things. consolidated right one place because i. don't want to look at 3 000 like you. know i mean pages of bills yeah it's. annoying when it comes to paying off. debt it's going to be it's hard. sometimes it's an uphill battle and. interest rates are ridiculous and. unnecessary and uh they keep you paying. on this endless cycle guys do you dread. looking at your credit card statements. every month like i do yeah we don't. blame you upstart can. lift that weight off your shoulders so. that you can finally feel the relief of. being free of credit card debt it's the.

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right here man yeah it is they're clean. vegan-friendly multivitamin they're. formulated with high-quality nutrients. bio-available uh forms your body can. actually use yeah you know what's not in. there what's that i'll tell you what's. not in it i memorized this sugars yep. gmos yep uh major allergens yeah. synthetic fillers gross and artificial. colorants and you know if you don't you. guys other multivitamins have that. packed with that stuff in it yeah this. doesn't have it no it's clean it's clean. uh multivitamin should contain key. nutrients your forms your body can. actually use to help fill in the gaps in.

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first three months visit. ritual.com bad friends to start your. ritual today that's ritual dot com slash. bad friends. what's going on with the baby. yeah is the baby is the baby healthy and. okay yeah everything have you seen it. live. i i i i had can we bring up. you literally saw the baby yeah he's. vaccinated he wouldn't see that they saw. the baby you could too i could go see. that yeah you're vac stop dude and then. what did the baby did the baby like open. his eyes little eyes. yes he did oh how cute is that how's.

honestly what is how does how is george. feeling. i think he's very happy tired and happy. yeah yeah. is his and his wife uh this is her third. marriage. yeah third third marriage and how many. kids did she have from her previous. marriages it has like five all together. so the house looks like a little it's. like it's a runabout of all little kids. no she didn't have five. she has five other kids yeah we have. three other guys two other guys wait so.

george lives with like five kids yeah. yes. how do you not know that. wait five asian kids. well. half asian yeah and now they have a. sixth. right yes correct this is like the. easiest math on earth she doesn't have. other kids there's no way what do you. mean she's her she's been married twice. before no it doesn't matter she doesn't. know about the kids there's no way i. would have known about it how do you not. know this call george right now she. don't you could it could be a bit. you're doing a bit i'm not doing a bit.

there is no way why. i'm not doing a bit. i'm not doing it let me call him you. call him. all right just everyone shut the [ __ ] up. okay dude give me your phone put it down. i don't want you to talk okay hey. give me your phone i'm not texting him. give me the phone. it's down i'm not i i'm literally i'll. show you i'm not texting him i'll show. you. hello how are you.

oh doing good how's the baby. oh baby's doing great. hey um. [Music]. um hi george hi george. your wife does she have other children. um just five beforehand why do they live. with you. yeah. i did not know that i told you how come. you never brought it up. i thought i'd told it to you guys. i knew george and i said that to him and. he was like no he doesn't i was like how. do you not know that you had five how.

old are these kids. um between like. two and uh ten. two and ten. yeah. two and ten and you have so you take. care of five other kids. from a woman. and um. and now you have six kids. yup uh-huh let me ask you something. george. what bobby okay. and i'm gonna say something very honest.

with you and i've never been so sincere. in my life i believe what you're saying. to me right now but if i find out that. you're lying i'm never going to work. with you again and and that's a real. sincere thing so tell me now that you're. lying right but if you it but if it's. true that's fine i and i will accept the. truth but if you're lying to me right. now right. i honestly i and and you would take my. word for it i will never work with you. again. okay you'll be fine without him tell me. the honest truth now.

bobby i've offered you. to come over to my place for dinner with. my family and you won't go many times. and. that's already made it difficult to work. together so i. would like to you to take me up on this. once uh. once code's over and you're we're safe. and you'll fight and i'll see six kids. there meet the brood meet the brood yes. you will. all right. i believe you and i'm sorry i didn't. know that fact love you george. love you guys okay bye bye.

i did not know that. i feel shitty. should. see we've been working with you've been. working for them for seven years. but. why wouldn't he show me photos or you. wouldn't look at photos if someone had. to show you photos nobody goes hey this. is little sing-song and you'd go get the. [ __ ] out of it i don't care. you wouldn't want it yes yes you would. oh. he said come over to the house and have. dinner you've never gone over the house. for dinner that speaks volumes he's. worked for you for seven [ __ ]. about it should.

wow so he has have you known about his. kids rudy no he's never said anything. yeah yeah well she's too new. yeah but i'm telling you right now. i know i know for a fact that he's. telling the truth because he would if. he's tricking me. i i'm not kidding you right now i hate. when people lie to me like that. so if he's tricking me dude. i'm going to burn him so hard. i'm being real but i know that he's not. because he wouldn't risk that fact right. so he's telling the truth.

but but there's a part of me that once. wants him. to be lying because. you're not you're going to see a side of. me you've never [ __ ] seen it before. why because i don't like being lied to. and i don't like i don't like pranks on. me. i don't want people pranking me and. deceiving me and i'm gonna i'll tell you. who else i'm gonna take it out on. all right. i will i'm not kidding you i will take. it on you in what way i know people are. listening right now going oh what is he.

gonna do what is bobby lee gonna do he's. acting strange and he's a bully or. whatever right now correct you've never. seen this side of me what is the side. the first thing i would do is i'd be. like um. i would probably go to kalala and go. listen. i just have this feeling i just kind of. want to start over. and she's going to be like well like. what i like. how difficult would it be to start tiger. belly over with a different name i'll be. mad at you i'll be mad at you right but. i'll let it go yeah we'll do bad friends.

right yeah well we'll we are going to. find out fire everybody find a new. people yeah. so. texted him i made him say that no no no. come here. you guys come in here. he needs to work the [ __ ] come on. come on. come in here. come in here. andreas come in here come here pete come. here. honestly dude right yeah. i'll tell you something okay. here he goes here we go last week right.

hey andrew hey george no no no. i'll talk to you later bye last week for. the first time right. i said you know what we'll exchange. numbers did we not exchange numbers i. want not right because i and also you. know earlier today i was kind of playing.

around with you this and that i'm trying. to have a different relationship with. you so we can get closer and we can do. other things together right if you're. lying to me right now dude so does. george have five other kids. [Laughter]. that's the right [ __ ] that's the. right. i don't know you anymore right i don't. know you right you're new right yeah. right let me ask you something right now. let's build this [ __ ] relationship. you and i with honesty right does he.

have five other kids. what he doesn't you may be removed oh. god you're such a [ __ ] brat. i just want to [ __ ]. [ __ ] lie to me george in front of my. [ __ ] eyes. and you know what's so funny about that. kudos for george for finally getting a. pair of balls and [ __ ] having some. fun because he always gets scared of you. when you say some [ __ ] like that it's. super irrational and you like force him. into this weird bullying right now i'm. calling him right now call him i'm. calling him right now hey okay time out.

before you do it time out time. i'm not gonna fire him no let's talk. let's talk let's see yeah let's talk. let's all talk for a second okay call. him yeah and seriously be like. i know that andrew. made you lie yeah so i'm not kidding i'm. gon bad friends is over we're still. gonna work together but the andrew thing. gone. i've never pulled up him yeah so what do. you what are you gonna do. you're gonna say you're outside because. bobby just fired you yeah that's better.

okay but we gotta have it on the you. gotta have it on the mic. yeah that's fine yeah yeah but but let. me say something right now dude you have. to be academy award-winning convincing. well get on the [ __ ] camera so we can. watch it get down there so we can watch. him get fired okay. huge by the way. george by the way do not break i swear i. won't i won't break what a nice quality. hey george hey sorry. uh. bobby got really mad i think maybe you.

have to call him i'm outside he just. fired me. oh just actually yeah. he uh. i don't know i think pete is fine you. know he's uh. he's finishing the show today but uh. i i guess i'm. yeah i'm just gonna go home but yeah. he's like. yeah there's a.

i mean he's really i think he's really. mad at you too. and uh andrew is trying to call him calm. him down you know but he poof. i never seen him like that he just broke. the. the. title. thing the bag and on the table and. he throws something on my face but you. know i dodge it but. yeah. um. [ __ ].

you you told me that he was fun. he's an [ __ ]. there must be something else going on. well anyway uh i want to let you go but. yeah i think you should call him. okay. okay sorry bye. very good. he's gonna kill me he's gonna kill me i. think you went a little too far i. thought you did it was fun throwing.

stuff. overkill you know what i mean i wanted. to make sure that i threw something in. there too no no no you did good yeah you. did good the throwing stuff made it seem. so i'm not gonna call him until he calls. me but he's gonna when he calls you yeah. voice mail him he's gonna be voice mail. him voicemail i'll go right to voicemail. right okay. i'm gonna get fight on the other end no. you're not you're tired you're hired. here forever and if he fires you i fire. him you're gonna be the guy all right. all right. that's the power he fires you i fire him.

we rehire you you own the company. okay now should i call him again right. to voicemail right away again right away. one more time okay just like. the third one i pick up yeah that's fine. all right but i need to hear it then. but you but you've done this a lot with. him of making him feel nervous but i. want you to be like. super low-key be like no i made up my. mind it's it's i'm done. because if you're high he'll know it's. worth. no that great great acting note thank. you thank you he's not calling me again.

because now he's nervous. now he's strong he's [ __ ] actually. [ __ ] nervous so do i call him yeah. before he calls kalila yeah because. you're calling oh yeah oh yeah yeah. you're right you're right i gotta call. him. you're right you're right i gotta call. him now you're right you're right you're. right right let me text clil and say. don't pick up if george calls. hey bobby. hey um. dude i just i i just fired andreas. and i i think i'm thinking about firing.

pp i don't know pete really didn't do. anything but i just don't like being. lied to and i'm listen dude i'm like. you know i was rageful at first. but i'm kind of to my senses and i think. it's just. i think what happened was like over the. years i um. i just felt like the deal between all of. us i think that's what the bottom line. is like the deal between all of us. i felt like was unfair and then like it. just came up when i found out the lines. finds a prank or whatever but. i think that that you know i mean the.

hidden thing underneath it was like this. might just resentment or whatever and. it's just i just think that. you know i i think i want to start over. man. i think that's what it boils down to. it's like i know it's like something. stupid and petty about lying and being. tricked i don't know it was so [ __ ]. weird man i never snapped like that. before in my life. i've never [ __ ] i've never done that. before in my life man i feel [ __ ] i. [ __ ] got violent man and it's like i. i just don't i thought i don't know man. i can't even know what words to say man.

um. so maybe we wait a couple days and i. calmed down but it's like. i don't know dude it's like i don't like. being made fun of do i feel like i was. just being bullied or something you know. because i [ __ ] asked you i go. directly i go dude i go. you you're honest with me and then you. just didn't. you. went on with it and then it's like. i thought you would owe it you would. always back me dude.

you would always back me dude that's the. trust that we have. i will always back you i thought it was. part of a bit it's not how is that a bit. when i when i call you and i say dude. you you [ __ ] it'll be done between. you and i if you don't tell me the truth. and then you st you hang up and now in. my head i'm like i feel guilty that. i don't know the fact that you're five. other [ __ ] kids. bobby i i. from my perspective i. was jus i was got a text from santiago.

but but like i needed to tell you i had. you you were. that piece of [ __ ] sorry. you would side with him we're closer. we are close bobby i thought it was. completely a bit so i didn't want to. ruin the bit i did not know the bit is. the bit okay let me just say something. dude in comedy dude when when. when when when one of the guys in the. bit says to another guy. hey be honest with me dude right now or. these consequences and then it's like.

when you don't do it it's like it. crosses a line bro. i did not know i. i've told like jules to like. to fib for the for a bit before like by. saying that she brought the diaper. i'm just saying this right now dude. andres is done i [ __ ] that guy is a. weasel and he's done. all right so i'll i'll talk to you. tomorrow don't call koala don't don't. contact me i'll contact you [ __ ] man.

oh i know what we got. now i know but he's going to let him. lose it he's going to lose it no he's a. newborn baby okay okay. oh god dude he's panicking how are you. on his side she knows because she i like. george too this is super fun all right. let her call george then who let rudy. call george this is your acting. no. yeah. well then call him and tell him it's all.

okay okay yeah yeah yeah yeah why don't. you do that because he'll like it coming. from her. because by the way he's got a newborn. kid he's probably having a heart attack. there's a guilt there's a guilt but not. really that was fun though god they were. good. don't prank me please god you sold it so. good what a not prank we just we're. joking about him having kids i know all. right put it on speaker. talk about blowing something out of. proportion. god. hey jules george. yeah.

it's a prank. it's a prank. george it's a prom it's a prank it's a. prank george. [Laughter]. he said they made him. [Laughter]. wow that was funny so funny you know you.

know he's calling. my girlfriend no he's calling someone. oh is he calling you yeah. many years. [Laughter].

don't call my wife don't call anybody. you just drive straight home. we're not having a tiger belly upload. tomorrow. i'm not sure if this episode of. bathrooms is going up. he's kidding he's kidding when george. when george tries to get tough it's uh. it's just he can't do it it's like it's. like unacting george we love you george. yeah georgie get back to us soon. bye guys bye dude. yeah well let's give let's give a little. clap for uh andres for participating and. talking about. here for a second.

that was good well he has to get off the. mic when he comes it doesn't matter i. don't give a [ __ ]. then we can't hear him it doesn't matter. i don't want andre waiting for something. i want to tell you something listen. he's sweating i know go stand over there. last week. last week when we exchanged numbers you. know and then today you know and what. you just did today huge it it now brings. you up to a level with me that's like. now we're peers yes. i'm a little head ahead of you i have a. little bit more power but my point. though is is that we're getting there. and i wanted to say um thank you so much.

for your service. congratulations. let's do great work together in the. future let's make movies let's do be. creative and let's um find a way to get. george out of here okay. all right thank you honestly. [Laughter]. so you wouldn't do. you wouldn't like let's suppose okay. let's say. i go all right. is it a comedy you're gonna play what is.

it a comedy no well then why i don't. know why i'm just saying that so you. wouldn't do a movie just based on money. if it was a [ __ ] absurd amount of. money right a million dollars right. million dollars to do what um it's a. movie called gay hitler. um uh first of all keep the money i'm in. right yeah that's hilarious but you're. you know hitler's lover. okay i'm in okay. and um it's kind of it's kind of like. soft porn i'm in.

right. so you know there's not going to be a. real insertion going on. even better okay but but if i want to i. can. well you know. yeah i mean perfect we well. let me see who's playing hitler perfect. we just broke ron jeremy out of prison. oh man so he's playing gay hitler okay. right there's no real insertion going on. but there is like. skin contact fine right love it hold the. penis skin tone contact like i said keep. the money that's my film.

[Music].